#like the whole thing with walt thinking he's gonna be gone in 2 months

[corgoship]

I love the 4 days out episode so much and from a fandom standpoint it's so funny. Like, first of all, "did you just bring a methlab to the airport?" Then they're shacked up in the RV together for four days, taking shifts cooking meth. Walt teases Jesse about him only bringing junk food. He even tries a funyun and hates it. They watch the sunset and pee side by side for whatever reason. When they're done with cooking Jesse suggests they treat themselves to a motel room and a shower and a bed (singular) so Walt has to tell him to get "separate rooms". Then they get stranded and bicker like an old married couple. It's cold af in the night. Walt has to wear Jesse's clothes and he looks absolutely ridiculous. They don't showcase the night but it's a perfect scenario for huddling for warmth. They spend the next day in various states of despair and thinking about dying - Walt coughs up blood. And when all hope is lost we get a scene which the show creator lovingly refers to as a "post-coital scene". It mirrors Walt being in bed with his wife earlier in the same episode. Jesse comes up with the idea that saves their asses and doesn't even realize it. He also says "aaaah, wire", and that moment alone is emmy worthy. And just like that they fix it and drive off to live happily ever after or whatever (except there's still that motel they have to get to).

All in all 10/10 episode and a fandom staple with untapped potential.

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[shawnmendeslatinamerica]

SM THE TOUR - Q&A LONDON (APRIL 2019)

(NIGHT 1)

Q: What's your favorite song that you've created?

A: It changes all the time, it depends on the week. Right now it's 'Why'.

Q: Would you collab with?

A: I would love to do something with Miley Cyrus.

Q: I'm from South Africa, would you ever consider going there?

A: I would 100%, I'm dying to go there!

Q: If you could go back in time who would you collab with?

A: If I could go back in time I would write a song with Elvis!

Q: What's your favorite song by Ariana Grande?

A: I really love 'Best Mistake' feat. Big Sean!

Q: What's your favorite song to play on bstage?

A: Right now I love playing 'Like To Be You'.

Q: Favorite food in London?

A: I literally breathe Wagamama!

Q: If you could have dinner with any 3 artists, who would they be?

A: Elvis, Jimmi Hendrix, and Tom Hanks!

Q: Favorite tour memory?

A: Brian got punched in the face! Or when he sprained his ankle!

[ Q: Are you aware that Roger Taylor follows you on Instagram?

A: I am aware!

Fan: You're one of 22 people he follows!

Shawn: *pulls out his phone to follow him back ]

Q: Would you ever change your last name?

A: I would never! If I did, it would be 'Shawn Lightning' or something!

Q: What’s a risk you’ve always wanted to take?

A: I always debate whether I should swear on stage! I just think that in life, if you can say it without swearing it’s better off, but sometimes I’m about to swear, then I swallow it. I said it once and it was weird!

[ Q: We know you love your knitted sweater...

A: I wore my knitted sweater 4 days in a row, I know!

Fan: Would you learn to knit?

Shawn: To be honest with you, I don’t wake up every morning thinking, ‘Wow, I wanna nit!' ]

Q: What made you write ‘Hold On’?

A: I wrote that song because I was missing my dad and my mum. I wrote it because I had a conversation with my dad one day when I was super homesick and basically wrote our conversation down.

Q: Your skin always looks perfect, what’s your skincare routine?

A: I’m not lying when I tell you guys that I don’t wash my face! I meditate a lot. I think skin is very based on how you’re feeling. You could rub dirt on your face & if you’re happy, you won’t break out!

Q: Do you have a favorite poem or saying?

A: I should as a songwriter, but I don’t! I can’t commit to ONE saying or poem to be the thing for my life because life is always changing.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

A: I wanna do acting! I wanna be sitting in this seat right here doing a Q&A with you guys, except we’re all older! Maybe some of you guys have kids!

Q: What was your inspiration behind ‘Shawn Mendes’ and what makes it different?

A: I was 17 when I wrote ‘Illuminate’ and I was 18/19 when I wrote ‘Shawn Mendes’. I’m never going for a vibe, I go into the studio like I’m gonna write a song about my life right now.

Q: When you write music, do you have the lyrics in mind or the melody / guitar chords first?

A: Always the guitar chords before the lyrics. Sometimes I write an entire song of melody before I have one lyric…that’s not good!

Q: Can you do a British accent?

A: Not right now! I just got so nervous the second you said that!

————————————————————————————————————————

(NIGHT 2)

Q: What does the M&G mean to you?

A: It puts a feeling into a city when I do the M&G and Q&A. I understand the people, like if you guys are funny, caring, empathetic... I get on stage knowing you guys.

Q: What is on your rider?

A: Lots of bananas, nuts, every type of tea you can think of, and protein bars. And something you don't expect... tequila.

Q: What is something you think everyone should do once in their life?

A: I think everyone should jump off a waterfall into freezing cold water!

Q: What is your favorite musical?

A: My favorite musical is 'In The Heights'!

Q: How is Jake?

A: He tore his achilles and he just had surgery yesterday. He's at home now! Thank you for asking, I really appreciate it.

Q: What do you do to inspire you?

A: I drink 17 coffees until I think about the next lyric!

Q: What are your plans after tour?

A: In May, I'm gonna go in the studio and do some writing. After tour, I think I want to do some acting!

Q: What's your biggest dream apart from your music career?

A: I don't have any other big dreams apart from being able to tour the whole world for the rest of my life.

Q: What's your favorite part of Sziget?

A: Sziget? We're in London right now? I don't remember, it was a blur to me!

Q: What are your top 3 favorite John Mayer songs?

A: 'Dreaming With A Broken Heart', 'Walt Grace's Submarine', and 'Why Georgia'!

Q: Do you feel that you’ve reached a milestone in your mental health?

A: It was a milestone for me to say that I don’t take medication anymore but it wasn’t me deciding that I’m never gonna feel low again. It was just me celebrating that moment of victory right there.

Q: The European leg is over, how has it been?

A: I always get very sad when I leave Europe! It’s different. It’s a different atmosphere. Everyone is so free and open, the judgement level’s are super low. And I always find that as a person, I grow.

Q: What mades you choose ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ as the song before the show?

A: I’m trying to channel Freddie Mercury! You guys don’t see me but I’m under the stage going like this as hard as I can right when you guys are out there dancing!

Q: What’s your favorite song you’ve written?

A: I don’t have an answer to that because I always change my mind about my favorite song! But right now, ‘Why’! Not why, but the song ‘Why’!

Q: If you had to feature on John Mayer or Justin Timberlake’s album, which would you choose?

A: I would say John Mayer. I love Timberlake but John Mayer is my all time!

Q: Have you ever hurt yourself rocking out too hard to your own music?

A: Yeah, totally! My finger is bruised and cut because I strum the guitar extremely hard. Sometimes I go to strum it so hard, I just miss the guitar entirely!

[ Shawn: Amazing flower crown… Where did you get that flower crown?

Fan: I don’t remember, I got it 4 years ago..

Shawn: So today you woke up and you went into your 4 years ago old box? ]

————————————————————————————————————————

(NIGHT 3)

Q: (a little girl) Who is your favorite crew member?

A: Your dad!

Q: Who is your favorite 5SOS member?

A: I can’t answer that question! I don’t have a favorite member of them. I like them all for a different reason!

[ Q: What is the best bad decision you’ve ever made?

A: It couldn’t be bad if it was the best.

Fan: Yes it would!

Shawn: No it wouldn’t! I honestly don’t remember because I’ve never thought about it!

Fan: I KNEW you were gonna say this! ]

Q: How do you keep the show fresh for those who have seen it multiple times and for you?

A: There’s always a song that was the peak and a song that wasn’t as good. Right before I go on stage, I go, ‘90% of the audience hasn’t seen the show.’ You guys are the 10%!

Q: What makes ‘Why’ your favorite to perform?

A: I love it because it’s so different from the other songs. It’s just my favorite song on the album. Also. The second I wrote it, I was like, ‘This is the coolest song ever.’ I think it’ll always be one of my favorites.

Q: Was ‘Where Were You In The Morning’ based on a personal experience?

A: YES. What’s your question?

Q: What's your favorite drink?

A: Tequila!

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: I would remove all the khakis I wore!

Q: Did you win at bowling the other day?

A: I didn’t! I suck at bowling!

Q: Would you consider changing the lyrics in ‘Particular Taste’ tonight to ‘Only dances when it’s Taylor’ instead of ‘Kanye’?

A: I think that’s very appropriate! I’d say that!

Q: Is there anything you regret not doing?

A: I think the most important thing is that if you love someone, tell them. The second you find them.

Q: How do you motivate yourself to work hard?

A: I don’t have to, ‘cause I have all you guys!

Q: Favorite memory from the European leg?

A: Probably Brian getting punched in the face! Or Brian spraining his ankle! I wasn’t there for both times, when I’m not around he hurts himself. I’m kidding. Every show has been really fun!

Q: How do you do all your moves?

A: What moves do I do?!

Q: Did your piercing hurt?

A: The cartilage hurt. Mine still hurts. I got it pierced like 4 months ago!

Q: What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve heard about yourself?

A: I’ve heard something about my nipples, the amount of fingers I have, that I can speak 10 languages.

Q: Would you ever consider volunteering for any causes?

A: I would love to! I think there’s a million things I could do. To be honest with you, I don’t have time at the moment. I’ve been touring for a long time. When I have some time off that’s the first thing I’ll do.

Q: Plans when you go home?

A: Eat every ounce of food I can find!

Q: In Japan, how did you feel when you saw the rainbow lights [fan project]?

A: I remember that, it was beautiful! That was very sweet of you guys!

Q: You started tour in Amsterdam, why do you love Amsterdam?

A: We’re in London right now! There’s a cool energy in the city. It has a very old feeling about it, like I’ve gone back into time.

Q: Have you ever written a song lyric, and you’re like ‘oh my God, my parents will hear that!’

A: I’ve not released songs because I’m like, ‘I don’t want my mom to read that!’

Q: If you could switch lives with someone, who would it be?

A: I wouldn’t choose anyone. I wouldn’t like to live anyone else’s life but mine!

Q: This is your last show, are you planning to do anything particular in the show? For example, I’m thinking you play ‘Perfectly Wrong’.

A: It’s not the last show of the tour though! I’ll be back, I promise!

Q: Do you think with your head or your heart?

A: Probably with my heart to be honest with you. I should think with my head a little more!

[carry-the-sky]

there is the road,

and there is the story of where the road goes—

(or: jesse finds his way. tw for brief descriptions of ptsd-related nightmares.)

.

+ one day after.

Haines is—different. You sure as hell aren’t in the ABQ anymore. There’s like, no people here, for one thing, and that makes you nervous. You’re a strange face, a newcomer. People will notice, right? They’ll notice, and then—

But you make it to the grocery store just fine. You push your cart around, pay for your food the same as everyone else, and no one looks twice at you. Then you’re driving back through town, past a post office and a bank and at least three different seafood restaurants, which, hell yes. The classiest seafood place you’ve been to is Red Lobster, and only then because their biscuits tasted fucking phenomenal when you were high. Skinny had once convinced Badger to bribe the waitress for the recipe, which went about as terribly as you thought it would. Later, Skinny looked it up and found out you could just buy the mix at the store.

God, you miss them.

It hurts more to try not to think about them, so you let yourself. All the way out of town, you think about Badger hitchhiking up from the Mexico border, Skinny taking heat from the police, covering for you. You think about the last words you said to each of them, and how you wish you would’ve said more.

The turn comes up faster than you’re expecting. Asphalt gives way to mud and snow pack, and you shift the Toyota into four-wheel drive. The street doesn’t even have a real name—Road S.7, reads the battered sign at the turn-off—and you can’t help but feel a swell of gratitude towards Ed. Quiet, he’d promised, and he definitely delivered.

Your house is the only one on this street. It’s an a-frame, like the ones your parents always talked about building. They wanted a place up north, somewhere like Wyoming or Montana where they could take you and Jake skiing, or whatever it is normal families do. Maybe that’s what they would’ve done with the extra cash from selling your Aunt Ginny’s house.

You put the Toyota in park, open the back hatch, and grab a bag of groceries in each hand. The snow here is still fresh, and it crunches under your boot when you take a tentative step.

Start over. Start fresh. Put things right.

No. Sorry, kid. That’s the one thing you can never do.

Maybe, maybe not. You take another step forward anyways.

.

+ one week after.

The a-frame is nice. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but the place is fully-furnished, down to the shower curtain in the bathroom, and the living room windows face south, so it’s warm and light most of the day. It’s the last type of place you ever saw yourself living, but it’s yours. It’s safe.

This morning’s routine is the same as the last few have been—coffee, breakfast, get a fire going in the wood-burning stove. There’s a deer outside the window, and you watch her for a moment while you sip the rest of your coffee. She lifts her head to look at you, the length of her statue-still—and then she’s turning away to resume foraging. You aren’t a threat.

You have more money than you know what to do with, but you still give the job classifieds a once-over. The thought of hanging around the a-frame day after day makes your palms itch—you want to stay busy, stay doing, so you circle a few part-time stints, places you’re reasonably sure won’t laugh you and your lack of a resume out the door.

No flashbacks today, when you finally make it to the shower.

This life you’re carving out is a work in progress, but that’s okay. You’re building it from scratch, sanding it down and filing away the jagged edges. It’s gonna take some time, and you’re okay with that. You’re okay.

.

There’s a dog curled up on the porch when you open your front door. Definitely a mutt, some kind of lab mix maybe. No collar. You ease the door shut as quietly as you can, but it stirs at the noise and lifts its head.

“Hey, bud,” you say, squatting and reaching a hand out.

The dog takes a tentative sniff in your direction, so you shift closer. It’s the wrong move. The dog scrabbles to its feet and tears off into the trees before you can blink.

“Yo!” you shout, but it’s gone.

You make a mental note to grab some kibble when you’re in town.

.

The first three jobs on your list are a bust. One of them has been filled already, another wants at least a year of previous experience, and the lady at the last place takes one look at your ink, plasters a fake smile on her face, and tells you she’ll be in touch.

“Bitch,” you growl under your breath as soon as you’re back in your car. Your fingers itch for a cigarette, and you dig around in your pocket before remembering that you don’t have any, that you’d purposefully avoided buying any at the store. Fresh start, and all that.

You tip your head back to rest against the seat. For the first time since getting here, it starts to sink in just how alone you are. It has to be this way, you know that. It’s like your life’s been split cleanly in half—everything before Alaska, and everything after. You can’t go back, and you can’t fit the pieces together again. You get it.

Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna suck, sometimes.

You pick up some dog food on your way home—a bag with words like “natural”  and “grain-free,” because why the hell not—and you’re almost out of town when a sign by the road catches your eye.

Morley’s Custom Woodworking, 2 miles south on 3rd Ave

When you get to 3rd, you turn automatically, like you know exactly where you’re going. It’s your foot pumping the gas, your hands on the steering wheel, but you can’t shake the feeling that you’re being pulled towards something.

Fuck off, universe, you think, but you keep driving.

Morley’s sits where the road dead-ends. You duck inside, and the first thing that hits you is the smell, all pine-y and sweet. There’s a table and a couple chairs sitting by the entrance, and you run a hand over the closest one. Smooth as glass.

“How can I help you?”

You turn. There’s a guy walking towards you who looks like a lumberjack poster boy—big and tall, full-grown beard, arms like tree stumps. He’s older, maybe Mike’s age.

“Uh,” you say stupidly. “Yeah, hey, man, I was just—I was in the, y’know, the area, and I just wanted to see if you maybe needed help with, I don’t know, stocking inventory or cleaning up, or whatever—”

The guy’s looking at you like he’s trying not to laugh, and honestly you can’t blame him. You sound like a rambling moron.

“You know what, I’m just gonna—” you gesture towards the front door.

“You new in town?” the guy says, looking thoroughly amused.

Shit. It’s that obvious.

“Yeah, been here about a week.”

The guy appraises you. His eyes are soft and kind, which kinda flies in the face of the whole lumberjack thing, but, hey, no judgment here.  

“Got any woodworking experience?” he asks.

Sure, if making half a dozen boxes for a vo-tech class in high school counts.

“Not exactly,” you say. “But—I’m a fast learner, and I’m good with my hands. In a totally non-pervy way,” you quickly clarify, “which you probably didn’t need to know, but it’s always good to, y’know—” you trail off and heave a sigh. “Okay, how badly am I screwing this up?”

The guy quirks a smile. “Depends on if you’re gonna keep talking or not.”

You’re laughing before you can think better of it, and the guy’s chuckling too, and then he’s saying, “I’ve got a workshop this Saturday. Why don’t you come by? We’ll see what you got.”

You’re not sure if it’s the universe making the decision or if it’s you, but you don’t really care. Either way, it’s another step forward, and you’re gonna take it.

.

+ one month after.

You still have nightmares. Sometimes you’re in the cage, and sometimes you’re on top of it, and they’re pressing you down, pressing your face against the bars.

“Open your eyes, Jesse,” someone—Todd?—is saying. “Open your eyes and look.”

Sometimes, you fight back. You strangle Todd with your handcuffs, the metal digging into his neck. You beat the shit out of Jack, or one of his other inbred thugs (you never bothered to learn their names). You shoot yourself in the head.

Sometimes, it’s Walt holding you down instead of Todd.

You’re not sure when, if ever, the dreams will stop, but maybe that’s not the point. Maybe the point is that they’re all gone and you’re still here. Whatever that means, you’re still here. You’re still fighting.

It’s a small comfort, but it’s something.

.

It’s taken you a couple weeks, but the dog is starting to warm up to you.

You’ve started calling it Skinny, and yeah, you tell yourself it’s because the poor thing really is skin and bones, and no other reason. It still sits a comfortable distance away from you whenever you’re outside, but it’s stopped bolting every  time you make a movement that’s faster than not moving at all. You don’t know shit about dogs, but you know enough not to try approaching it again. Just let it be, let it see that you’re here and you mean no harm.

You keep a handful of dog food with you when you’re outside, just in case.

You’re stacking cords of firewood in the shed out back when the dog comes up to you, right up to you, tail wagging tentatively.

“Hey, there,” you say, but as soon as you stick a hand out, the dog growls.

“Okay.” You fish around in your back pocket. “You don’t know me, I get it. I totally get it. But maybe this—” you proffer the hand with the kibble— “will change your mind.”

You’re careful not to make eye contact as it sniffs your hand. Then it’s crunching the food up, tongue licking your palm enthusiastically as it searches for more where that came from.

“Right on, my kind of guy. Or, uh—” you duck your head and quickly scan the dog’s underside— “girl, I guess. Sorry about that.”

It’s another few weeks before Skinny will let you pet her, and one more after that before you can coax her into your car to take her to the vet. She’s not micro-chipped, and no one’s reported a missing dog, so they give her a routine series of shots and tell you it’s okay to take her home.

You’re not sure if this is a good idea—can you really even take care of yourself?—but it feels right. She’s like you, lost and alone. Maybe this is what both of you need.

.

You rent out a space at Morley’s after hours to work on the projects he gives you. Small things, at first, like cabinet drawers and birdhouses. During the week, you take orders and receive shipments and assist him with the larger custom pieces he’s working on. It’s hard work, but it’s good. You like working with your hands, making things instead of breaking them apart.

You think a lot about that box you made. You wish you would’ve actually given it to your mom. She would’ve been proud of it, of you.

You wish—

.

+ one year after.

“...and I’m gonna gently, gently tap, following the angles in the mountain. Always follow your angles.”

“Follow the angles,” you echo, bringing your brush up to the canvas. “Hell yeah, I can follow the angles.”

You must be pressing down too hard, because the colors are starting to smear together. If you’re being honest, most of this painting is a mess, but the mountains actually look halfway decent. You’re starting to get the hang of those.

“...and then just beat the devil out of it.”

“That’s my favorite part,” you tell Skinny, who’s watching you with mild curiosity.  

Netflix freezes for a moment, the percentage ticking upwards slowly as the episode renders, but you’re not concerned. That happens pretty frequently. You take advantage of the pause to clean your brush beat-the-devil style, which startles Skinny. Her claws clack against the wood floor as she scrambles away from you.

The rest of the painting is relatively painless—you mix the phthalo green with your purple instead of phthalo blue, but hey, happy accident. You’re getting used to accepting those.

Skinny re-emerges, eyeing you warily. You laugh and stoop to ruffle her ears.

“Sorry I scared you,” you say. “But, hey, it’s part of the process, yeah? Can’t jerk around with the process. Especially not Bob’s.”

Skinny just licks your hand in response.

.

You finish your first major piece at work, a two-leaf, red oak dining table. You’re almost a little sad when the couple who ordered it come to pick it up, but it would just sit in the shop otherwise. And you’d never live it down if you admitted it to Morley, who likened selling the first piece of furniture he ever built to sending a kid off to college.

“It’s beautiful,” the couple tells you. “Even better than we imagined. Thank you.”

You do your best to ignore all the knowing looks Morley shoots in your direction for the rest of the day.

.

You write to Badger and Skinny (the human) on a semi-regular basis. The letters are pretty general—you try to avoid any details that might give away where you are—but you tell them about the wood shop, and Skinny (the dog). Once, you accidentally write your return address on the envelope. You briefly consider sending it anyways. They’d come, they’d absolutely come if they knew where you were, and you’d be selfish enough to let them.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss them, but it’s gotten better. You picture them playing GTA on Badger’s Playstation, or smoking a bowl, and it hurts a little less. They’re safe and they’re happy, and your loneliness is a small price to pay for that.

You’re, like, my hero and shit.

They have no idea it’s actually the other way around.

.

You watch the Northern Lights from your porch, a mug of hot tea in your hands and Skinny’s head resting on your knee. You think, this must be what heaven is like.

.

“So, where should we go?”

Skinny looks at you like she’d like nothing better than to murder you, but you figure that probably has more to do with the car than you. She’s quivering in the backseat, and you haven’t even turned the key in the ignition yet.

“C’mon, don’t look at me like that. You love car rides.”

Skinny whines and paws at the door.

“Okay, maybe love’s a strong word, but you love the mountains right? And the only way to get to the mountains is to ride in the car, so. We cool?”

Soon you’re on the highway. The back windows are rolled down, and Skinny’s sticking her head gleefully out the passenger side, all thoughts of murder gone from her head. You think you both might be happiest when you’re driving like this, wind in your hair and your ears, nothing but open road stretched ahead.

You don’t know where you’re going, but that doesn’t matter. You’ll find your way.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 9/3/21: SHANG-CHI, CINDERELLA, WORTH, MOGUL MOWGLI, YAKUZA PRINCESS, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM, and More

There’s only one new wide release this week but I’m not gonna say this movie title five times, because it’s so freakin’ long, that I can only really say it once. But it’s a good one! There’s also so many limited releases that as always, I just couldn’t get to all of them. (Word of warning: This column was finished under the influence of Churches' excellent new record, Screen Violence.)

Marvel Studios’ second movie of 2021, SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS (Marvel/Disney) stars Simu Liu as the “Master of Kung-Fu” from the comics, making his very first appearance in any live-action form that I know of. I have to say that I loved the comics as a kid and was truly bummed when I sold my whole collection, knowing that a lot of the great run of the comics from the ‘70s and ‘80s that have never been reprinted. That being said, this is Marvel’s first solo character introduction going all the way back to Brie Larson as Captain Marvel back in March, 2019, and before that, you’d have to go back November, 2016 for Doctor Strange, since Black Panther was introduced in Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Shang-Chi is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who broke onto the scene with indie films like I Am Not a Hipster and the better-received Short Term 12, which also introduced much of the world to Larson, and then the two of them made an adaptation of The Glass House. Cretton then directed Michael B. Jordan, and again, Larson, in Just Mercy for Warner Bros., which grossed $36 million in early 2020 but never quite achieved the Oscar hopes some were expecting. Still, all that work with Larson paid off, because it got him a meeting with Kevin Feige and Marvel for him to pitch this.

Granted, Simu Liu is a bit of an unknown quantity, having not made too many movies and being best known for the sitcom, Kim’s Convenience. On the other hand, his co-star Awkwafina has been building quite an impressive career from her roles in the 2018 hits, Crazy Rich Asians and Ocean’s 8, plus her starring role in the indie, The Farewell, for which she won a Golden Globe (but really should have gotten an Oscar nomination). She’s taken that success to put it into her Comedy Central show, Nora from Queens, while also providing her voice for lots of animated movies, including this year’s Disney animated movie, Raya and the Last Dragon. Most who have seen the movie early have mentioned that her comic chemistry with Lu has stolen the movie and oddly, her “best friend” character Katy seems to be heading towards a larger part in the MCU.

If we look at movies based around characters who received solo films before appearing anywhere else in the MCU, we get the aforementioned Captain Marvel movie, which had an insane $153 million opening weekend, doing even better than the Distinguished Competition’s own solo female movie, Wonder Woman, even though the latter was definitely better known. Captain Marvel ended up grossing over $400 million domestic and over a billion worldwide. The Doctor Strange movie that preceded it, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, didn’t do quite well but still opened with $85 million and made $232 million domestic. A year earlier, Marvel Studios’ attempt to make Ant-Man a thing led to one of their bigger disappointments with that opening with “just” $57 million and grossing $180 million domestic. (That also cost $30 million less than Doctor Strange and $45 million less than Captain Marvel, but when you get to those budgets over $100 million, every dollar counts to making back that budget.)

As with many MCU movies, Shang-Chi has been receiving rave reviews with a strong 92% on Rotten Tomatoes from over 140 reviews (at this writing). My review of this is over at Below the Line, and I loved it, too. The big selling point for Shang-Chi is that like Black Panther was to African-Americans, this character is to Asian-Americans, being able to see the first Marvel movie starring an Asian-American, as well as a mostly Asian cast that includes the great Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh (who also starred in Crazy Rich Asians).

There are a few factors to bear in mind, and not just the COVID Delta variant one that we’ve been hearing so much about -- there’s no denying that things are getting worse, and hopefully this can be quelled before there’s another shutdown. This weekend is the four-day weekend with Labor Day on Monday, which has never been a great weekend at the movies, partially because schools have either started or are about to start and people just stop going to movies, despite there having been plenty of early September hits like Warner Bros’ It. September is definitely a new month for Marvel to release a movie, but with all the delays due to COVID, it’s a good (I’m not gonna use the term “experiment) to see if Marvel really can withstand the proverbial 12-month release calendar rather than their movies needing to be released over the summer or holidays or any other month.

Unlike the recent Black Widow, which had a substantial $80 million opening, Shang-Chi is not being released simultaneously on Disney+ via Premier Access, which presumably will mean more people will have to go see the movie in theaters during its 45-day run before heading home, but the question really is “Will they?” Besides Crazy Rich Asians, which did incredibly well among non-Asians, there haven’t been a ton of movies with Asian casts that have done well just due to the fact -- I mean, look at the recent Snake Eyes from Paramount Pictures. It didn’t get nearly as good reviews, but it’s another superhero movie with a mostly Asian cast, and that community didn’t get behind it at all. Maybe we can say the same about Raya but that also was released much earlier in the pandemic.

With that in mind, I do think Shang-Chi is good for a four-day opening between $53 million and $57 million, although I don’t think we can expect this to have the same impact as a Marvel movie with a well-known character or actor in the lead.

This weekend’s four-day box office should look something like this:

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $55.6 million N/A

2. Candyman (Universal) - $13.2 million -40%

3. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $11 million -16%

4. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $7 million +6%

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $4.5 million -10%

6. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%

7. Respect (MGM) - $1.8 million -20%

8. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -35%

9. The Protégé (Lionsgate) - $1.4 million -43%

10. The Night House (Searchlight) - $800k -39%

Hitting Amazon Prime Video on Friday (as well as select theaters in New York and L.A.) is Kay Cannon’s musical CINDERELLA (Amazon), which was originally going to be released theatrically by Sony Pictures in January, but it then became one of the first movies to have its production be shut down by COVID, so everything was delayed, and then Sony just decided to sell it off to Amazon, but considering everything going on, that may have been the wise choice, since I have a feeling more people will see this on Amazon then would have gone out to theaters with COVID, school starting, etc. Either way, you can read my interview with Kay Cannon over at Below the Line.

The movie stars pop star Camila Cabello In the title role of the musical was the brainchild of James Corden, who is no stranger to musicals. In fact, he seems to appear in almost every single one, or is that me? The nice thing is that you already know the story, as that hasn’t changed much, although Cannon definitely gives it a more modern spin in terms of Ella being far more feisty and a truly modern woman despite living in times where women aren’t allowed to do their own thing. Ella wants to be a designer, and she’s already making progress as she sews beautiful dresses in the basement where she’s kept by her stepmother (Idina Menzel) and taunted by her stepsisters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer). One day, she meets the Prince Robert (Nicholas Galzitine) in the woods and has such an effect on him that he decides to hold a ball and invite all the women in the land in order to find a princess.

Like I said, pretty much the same story that we’ve seen in so many adaptations and quite a few musicals, and really, what probably will stand out more than anything is how talented Cabello is, considering that this is her first acting role in a major feature, and she kills it. I wouldn’t say that I love all the song choices, but I did love most of the arrangements, and there are so many great standout moments like “Shining Star” performed by Billy Porter as Cinderella’s “Fab G” (replacing and gender-switching her Fairy Godmother) and Menzel’s performance of her own song she wrote for the movie is a definite showstopper.

Obviously, casting the likes of Menzel and Porter means you have a couple ringers, but Minnie Driver is also great and even Pierce Brosnan kind of makes up for his horrific singing performance in Mamma Mia! This time, he gets something more in his range. And James Corden is in it, but it's such a small role that even those who truly hate him don't have enough time to do so.

It’s probably a cliché to say that this Cinderella won’t be for everyone, and I’m sure many critics had their knives out for it sight unseen. Personally, I know tons of fans of musicals and movies like Into the Woods, and yes, the Pitch Perfect movies, who will really enjoy what Kay Cannon and her talented cast and crew have done with the story. Kay Cannon’s Cinderella is a movie that’s more about fun entertainment than anything particularly cerebral, and in days like these, maybe that’s all that is needed sometimes.

There's a ton of other interesting indie films out this week… some of them are even good!

A movie that many (hopefully) will view with interest is Bassam Tariq’s MOGUL MOWGLI (Strand Releasing), co-written by and starring Riz Ahmed, which premiered all the way back at the Berlin Film Festival in February 2020. Besides it being of interest due to Ahmed’s presence, Tariq is also rumored to be directing the new Blade movie for Marvel Studios, starring Mahershala Ali, so many will (hopefully) be checking out this movie for that reason alone. (It certainly grabbed my interest.)

In the movie, Ahmed plays Zaheer who raps under the pseudonym of Zed, but he’s a Pakistani living in London at odds with his parents and the Muslim traditions put upon him. Just as he’s about to go on a major tour that could give his career a much-needed push, he suddenly loses the ability to walk and is diagnosed with a muscular disease that will involve stem cell therapy.

Okay, yes, this is another movie involving Ahmed as a performer who is hit by a debilitating condition much like his Oscar-nominated turn in Sound of Metal, but this is a very different movie that also deals with culture and religion and other things that just had much of an impact on me. Zaheer is told by his doctor that after the procedure, he would be unable to have kids, so he should freeze his sperm, and there’s a scene that I personally experienced when I was told the same before my stem cell transplant.

As much as this is very much a family drama, there’s also an interesting almost horror element to Mogul Mowgli as Zameer is constantly being plagued by hallucinations and nightmares, but there’s also some light humor in the fact that his main competition, another Pakistani rapper named “RPG,” is a bit of an idiot. But this really is Ahmed’s show, and heck, I might go so far to say that I think Ahmed’s performance in this movie is even better than his performance in Sound of Metal if you can believe that.

Mogul Mowgli proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Riz Ahmed’s Oscar nomination was no fluke. He is clearly one of the best actors we have today, and he also shows that lacking the right material, he’s just going to write his own. It's opening at New York's Film Forum on Friday, and I'm not sure where else.

Brazilian filmmaker Vicente Amorim’s action-thriller YAKUZA PRINCESS (Magnet) -- which has played a couple recent genre festivals like Fantasia in Montreal -- really should be my kind of movie. Based on the Manga of the same name, it’s set in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where I used to live as a kid, believe it or not, but it’s also one of the largest Japanese communities outside Japan. In this environment comes newcomer Masumi as Akemi, who was orphaned as a child and left in Sao Paulo, but she later learns she’s the heiress to the Yakuza crime syndicate. She ends up meeting a badly scarred-up stranger with amnesia (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who believes an ancient katana sword might bind their fates.

Like I said, this should be my kind of movie, because I love Yakuza films and crime films set in the world of Japanese crime, and as I said, I lived in Brazil, so that country still hold a place in my heart. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of amazing Yakuza films from the great Takashi Miike, and this one is just so erratic in terms of pacing and tone that it really took me quite some time to really get into it.

Unfortunately, this movie at its core feels like another Kill Bill wannabe where Amorim relies so much on being super-stylish and throwing in lots of fast editing to make up for the lack of originality or any real substance.

The writing in the movie isn’t great, at least at first, but it’s also far too obvious how new and green Masumi is as an actor, because she delivers her lines and swordplay with very little charisma, and Rhys Meyers isn’t much better. In fact, the film’s best parts are the ones in Japanese, but that’s in the second half where the movie slows down considerably. There is the expected amount of gory swordplay and people being shot in the head, but there’s also way too much unnecessary exposition, much of it in bad English.

There’s just no way around that this is a movie that tries to jump on a genre bandwagon that has been handled so much better by Japanese filmmakers, while this just fails to keep the viewer interested beyond its soundtrack and the score by Lucas Marcier and Fabiano Krieger, which is pretty fantastic. Sure, it’s pretty violent and gory, but at times, it relies too much on viewers really only being on board for that. Other times, it feels like a patchwork of elements that don’t necessarily work together but also feels so derivative of so many better films.

Essentially, Yakuza Princess is yet another overly stylish action movie that’s better when everyone is fighting rather than talking. I had a hard time staying interested, and I’m not sure if that would have been exacerbated if I saw this on the big screen vs. a screener. Unfortunately, you'll only get to see on the big screen in certain regions, because it's mainly being released VOD.

Hitting Netflix on Friday after a week at New York’s Paris Theater is Sara Colangelo’s drama WORTH (Netflix), starring Michael Keaton, Stanley Tucci, and Amy Ryan, which premiered all the way back in January 2020 at the Sundance Film Festival. In the movie, Keaton plays Kenneth Feinberg, an opera loving lawyer and college professor who is commissioned to start the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund, which has to come up with the amount of money that the families of those who died in the terrorist attacks will receive.

As you can probably expect, this movie is a laugh a minute… no, I’m kidding, this is a well-written and acted, but also often rather dry drama that’s about a serous topic, but it also feels like it comes so late after 9/11 that it doesn’t feel as relevant anymore, even with the anniversary coming up soon.

The movie is very much a spotlight for Keaton, who sports a heavy Massachusetts accent but still delivers a solid performance as the man with the unenviable task of trying to calculate the payouts for the people who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks. But Keaton doesn’t just deliver himself, he also brings out the best from everyone else in the cast, not too surprising from Ryan or Tucci, but there are also lots of pleasant surprises, including Shunori Ramathan and some of the actors playing the people who lost family members.

More than anything else, the movie is very much about the excellent script by Max Borenstein (who mostly has written a bunch of Godzilla and King Kong movies, oddly enough), and in that sense, it reminds me of Tom McCarthy’s Spotlight or the recent The Report, which are both solid movies but also very dialogue-driven ensemble dramas. Colangelo does a fine job with the film's pacing, which much have been a difficult task.

The only real problem with Worth is that it's so filled with crying and drama it's pretty hard to take for two hours straight. Basically, it’s one of those very good movies that you really have to be in the right headspace to get through it.

Michelle Civata's THE GATEWAY (Lionsgate) is a crime-thriller set in rural St. Louis with Shea Whigham playing Parker, a social worker who is trying to protect his client, a single mother (Olivia Munn) with a young daughter, whose husband was just paroled from jail with a drugdealer (Frank Grillo) trying to get him back on the payroll.

I wasn't sure about this one at least as it started, even with such a solid cast, which includes Bruce Dern as Park's estranged father, and it certainly started out a bit erratic with some scenes and characters working better than others. What works in the movie's favor is Whigham is such a good actor who rarely gets juicy roles like this one where he can be at the center of the story, and The Gateway shows that maybe this shouldn't be.

Despite a woman as director and co-writer, the whole thing comes off as fairly macho, clearly influenced by filmmakers like Scorses, but the fact that there's heart and real characters at the center of the movie that doesn't offer some degree of action -- gunfights, car chases and such -- does make The Gateway far better than it could have been.

Unfortunately, things start to fall a bit in the last act, although there are some great scenes between Whigham and Dern, and I generally like what the movie is trying to say about family. Because of that, The Gateway ends up being a decent indie crime thriller that doesn't veer too far from others but gives Wigham a long-deserved leading role to show his stuff.

The Gateway will open in select theaters, and be available via Apple TV and other digital platforms Friday and then be available on DVD and Blu-ray on Tuesday, September 7.

Sean King O’Grady’s thriller WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING (IFC Midnight) stars Sierra McCormick as teenager Melissa, who ends up trapped with her family in a house after trying to shelter from a storm… and boy, did this movie remind me of this awful recent movie called John and the Hole that IFC released last month. And this one really isn’t much better, despite starring great actors like Vinessa Shaw and Pat Healy.

Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would read the script by Max Booth III (based on his own novella, no less) and think, “Boy, this would make an interesting movie,” but this is the age we live in where everyone is trying to make something cool and woke for the kiddies, and in this case that comes in the form of Melissa’s goth girlfriend Amy (Lisette Alexis) who shows up (in flashback) as so that they can do some incantations which may be causing all the weirdness. It’s as if the filmmakers thought that throwing in a bit of The Craft might save it.

I probably was most disappointed by Healy, since I’m such a fan of his work, but he isn’t given much to do except rant and rave and yell a lot, and he really comes off like an asshole, which is not a great look for him.

O’Grady throws all sorts of things at the family like a not particularly scary stupid looking rattlesnake that has them screaming horribly and some kind of… werewolf or something? (I don’t know ‘cause we never see it. We just see its tongue which Melissa rips out.) Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen worse acting, which just makes the family even more annoying.

With a really stupid premise that is barely able to carry a movie, if you’re gonna call your movie We Need to Do Something, then for EFF’s sake, DO SOMETHING! Man, this movie frustrated the hell out of me.

Also out on Friday is the anthology film, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM (NEON), which features an amazing roster of filmmakers, including David Lowery, director of the recent The Green Knight, Jafar Panahi, Anthony Chen, Laura Poitras (CITIZEN4), Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and others, taking a semi-documentary approach to share their thoughts on living in a pandemic… I watched the Panahi and Chen segments but never got to the rest, but if I do, I'll add my thoughts on the film as a whole when I have a chance. The movie opens at the IFC Center in New York this Friday and then in Los Angeles at the Laemlle Royal next Friday.

I wasn’t able to get to Safy Nebbou’s WHO YOU THINK I AM (Cohen Media), based on the best-selling novel from Camille Laurens, but it stars the great Juliette Binoche, a single mom and middle-aged professor who is ghosted her 20-something lover so she creates a fake Facebook profile for 24-year-old avatar named “Clara” who is friended by her ex’s roommate. This opens at the Quad Cinema in New York on Friday as well as in L.A. at the Landmark, and I hope to get to watch it soon.

Another movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing since it premiered at Sundance but just haven’t found the time is Lyle Mitchell Corbine Jr.’s WILD INDIAN (Vertical), starring the great Michael Greyeyes as a native American man who decades earlier covered up a classmate's murder, but now has to deal with a man who wants vengeance for the secret he's trying to keep as he tries to protect his wife (Kate Bosworth) and boss (Jesse Eisenberg) from that secret. Sounds pretty amazing and man, I wish I could just fit in more movies with everything I have going on right now.

Chad Michael Murray plays the title role in Daniel Farrands' TED BUNDY: AMERICAN BOOGIEMAN (Voltage/Dark Star PIctures), which hits VOD and DVD this Friday, but unlike last week's No Man of God, which deals with Bundy already in prison, it deals with Bundy still on the prowl and the law enforcement agents who eventually brought him down including detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and rookie FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). I haven't had a chance to watch this yet, but it would have been nice if they released the two movies in chronological order, no?

A great doc that played at the Tribeca Festival a couple months back and will hit Showtime this Friday is Sacha Jenkins’ BITCHIN’: THE SOUND AND FURY OF RICK JAMES (Showtime), an absolutely fascinating look at the controversial funk and soul star whose catchy dance music of the '70s led to drugs and worse offenses in subsequent years. This is a fantastic doc that I wish I could watch again, but I don't have Showtime. Waugh waugh...

Others that came out this week or weekend:

AFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY (Netflix)

STEEL SONG (Gravitas Ventures)

SAVING PARADISE (Vertical)

Next week, the new horror movie from James Wan, Malignant, as well as Paul Schrader's The Card Counter, which I think might be going wide next week, too.

[pity-the-backseat]

Liquid Luck

Two-Bit Mathews x Randle!Reader

Two-Bit drunkenly turns up at the reader's house meaning to confess a secret to Steve.

Request: two-bit cuddling with you

I made you Steve's twin-I had a reason, you'll see-but I hope you dont mind! It doesn’t quite begin with cuddles but I think(?) i did justice to Two and that lovely idea

“Hey Steve! Steve-o!”

You hear a rough voice, sloshing like beer in a bottle, call out at yours and Steve’s bedroom window. In a groggy haze of rude awakening, you jerk your neck around to the inside side of the room and crane to see your alarm clock on the nightstand between the two twin beds.

1:38. Who the hell is calling here at 1:38 in the morning? You wait for confirmation that that is in fact happening, or that you were dreaming, and not a minute later you have your answer.

“Hey, gimme a break, Scandal Randle! I’m gonna count to ten ‘undred and ninety…two, and if by then you don’t lemme in-”

It’s Two-Bit. The realization is groggy but firm this early in the morning, as the echo of his distinctive, knavish voice bounces off the siding of your house. Glory, he sounds so gone with the wind that he wouldn’t know Jax from Anheuser-Busch. And how much difference that makes is a lot: he’ll argue for hours on the subject. You suppose that means he wouldn’t know any difference between you and Steve to let him in if that’s what it takes to get him to stop yelling at the house. Your mother might be boozey herself on sleep but she can wake up with that bellowing going on just like anybody and wear both you and Two-and anyone else in the vicinity for that matter-plain out.

As you swing your feet round the side of the bed a question pops into your mind that was too obvious to come up with before. Where is Steve? You scan your mind for any remembrances of a mention or an intimation he was going to be someplace other than in his bed at a time like 2 o’clock in the morning on a school night. Sure, he doesn’t care a whole lot about that, but he is where he ought to be more often than not. Was he going out with Evie? Not likely, her parents don’t let her go out but except Friday nights and Saturdays, and anyway Steve told you she’s visiting family in Topeka this month. That isn’t to say you’d mind if the oldest of the gang, the cutest, in your opinion, the one you secretly felt positively whipped for drops in for a visit via your bedroom window and your brother happens not to be home…

No! No time to think about that now. You move the slat of wood responsible for keeping the window closed and as Two-Bit staggers closer to the opened portal you call out to him hoarsely. In the dewy chill of lightening dawn you can see furls of your breath. “Listen, you drunk skunk, you keep your voice down and crawl in here since you need to so bad-and be quick about it!”

There’s still considerable question in whether he knows just who he’s talking to, but Two takes the order regardless and throws back a sloppy “Shhhh” before clambering in the small square you’ve opened up for him. In the process his clumsily crushes a tiny upcrop of tulips you planted below the sill about a week ago, for this you just sigh.

“Stevvvvveeeeeeee,” Jesus, really? He’s blinking his wet eyes a lot and you’re sure if you don’t sit him down soon you might as well shout ‘timber’ and make Two feel welcome on your floor. Not Steve. Y/N. But that’s okay, I bet you don’t even know who Walt Disney is right now, goin’ by how trashed you are. Poor thing.

“Whaddidja need, Two-Bit?” You’re not in the best form yourself and decide to lean against your dresser, carefully watching how Two leans further and further forward off the edge of the bed, but never so much so he faceplants to the ground.

“I got-I gotta tell ya somethin’, buddy, but you gotta swearrr-” he giggles at nothing, making the sitting situation even more precarious for a moment, before shaking it out of his head and visibly forcing his focus back to whatever it is he needs to talk to ‘Steve’ about, “You gotta swear ‘at you ain’t gon’ say nothing about it to Y/N.”

“On my honor as a greaser.” you mumble, too interested in what he has to say to make any effort about pretending to be Steve, or whatever you’re doing here. Out of nervous habit you card through the Randle curls that without any grease tend to fall in the way of your eyes. They’re getting used to being open, not so lead heavy as you look over to him and notice that the boy is more disheveled than usual, but somehow even that doesn't impact the way he looks like a goddamn greaser prince. What is it that they drink down at the Mathews’ that made their boy grow up so good-looking? Those ducktails, that toughened physique. You wish you could borrow a cup of whatever it is, but put aside your teenage self-consciousness which is so not needed on top of everything else that is swimming around the room at the moment. What does Two care what you look like, he can’t even see.

“Heh. That’s funny…Law’, where’m I s’posed to start?”

“Try…why are you here at cock crow and not a shade later? What couldn’t wait?”

In a brilliant moment of drunken dissociation your squeeze Two-Bit completely misses anything you’ve said and yawns like a big cat. Apparently he’s decided that your bed looks like the perfect place to stretch out, and pass out.

“No no no,” you chide, knocking on the heels of his boots, attempting and failing to shift his deadweight. “You fall asleep in my bed and my mother’ll skin us both alive.” It occurs to you to thank your stars your Pop doesn't care enough to be home lately on top of that, because if the opposite were true there would be no Two-Bit Mathews left to skin.

“I ain’ gon’ fall asleep,” Two protests, but the fading slur of the delivery introduces doubt in your mind. “N’w here, you climb in with me, so’s I can talk t’ya quiet.”

You freeze, astonished by fate’s sense of humor. You're not even considering it, not for a second.

         It's a fact not easily acknowledged that you're more innocent than you'd like to have others believe. That’s why you're so thankful the boy you’re in love with has taken care of blinding himself, because him being in your bed has given you a case of blushing tomato. So you don’t budge.

“Nuh-uh, Two, you sit up and talk to me.” It’s imperative you don’t give him too much leeway in this arena, from what you've seen of this loopy sort of drunk on rare occasions with Steve, it's also best to coddle and support a person under such influence like they were no more than three years of age.

Unfortunately, this particular one is of a more stubborn variety than your absent brother.

“Two-Bit.” You repeat demandingly.

“Iiii’m fine where I is…’r was...wait-” he lets out another howl of laughter at this silly mistake and you're sure this time someone is gonna come through your door asking questions. “Golly you get off topic like a Mississippi-” a Mississippi something, but you'll never know what because he’s essentially buried his face in the pillow invitingly below it.

“Hey, c’mon.” You plead, exasperated and too far from awake to be taking onslaughts of conflicting emotion like this. Few people at your teenage time of life are devoutly religious, and you aren’t an exception to the rule. However it comes naturally as almost the only thing to do: you pray, as you contemplate the best way to proceed at first, and that crucial moment later, for the gods to favor the position that if it’s to get Two out of your house that much quicker, it won’t be the worst thing if you...say, scoot in next to him. You’re now facing each other, or Two’s trying his best to turn his head so there’s a certain blurry vision of you looking back. You keep a separation enough so that you’re not leaning on each other, but it ain’t hardly a king size bed and you find you need to hunker down so his warm breath can’t tickle the crook of your neck. “Tell me what’s in that crazy mind of yours then get outta here, promise?” your whisper sounds fiercer than you mean and Two waggles a hand in the air to dismiss the harsh noise.

“So you wan’ me to come straight out with it, huh? Well I...shoot, all my words is gone.” he laments deliriously.

“Start slow,” you dig deep for patience, “You say ‘I’ and then whatever comes with.” It’s like guiding his kid sister, at times when you’ll sit with her and do some reading, or she’ll ask why she can’t eat all the chocolate cake she wants. Easy stuff, but with this tuff boy that always seems to strut and dodge all the trouble that threatens his way, this boy that you’ve grown up with and mooned over while Steve teased you all the way along-it takes a moment to realize. Your father is always asking what you, what your brother and the rest of you have to be so bitter and complain about. Now you know, it’s that same thought you and Ponyboy came up with to fight back against Steven Randle Sr., those same words you coughed on instead of saying out loud, ‘us kids sometimes break, only cause on account that life treats us like we ain’t kids at all.’

Empathy darn near breaks your heart and you instinctively snuggle just a little closer, like the nearness of you alone could protect Two-Bit.

You don’t know it, but when his mind ain’t clouded by liquor Two sure thinks it could.

“I,” he pushes himself, “I...I got a-fuck, I hate this. Cause you isn’t-you ain’t gonna care, I mean what’m I tellin’ you for? Y/N never would go out with me, even’f I got the big brother’s permission. And I know I ain’t nothin’ anyhow, what could I offer a smart, beautiful kid like ‘at?”

You’re shaken to your very core. He may be worse for whiskey but no matter how little he meant them you know this very second you’ll never be able to forget the words you just heard Two speak. The soft giggly part of you, the part you put away to keep from getting hurt most days seems hellbent on pounding your heart straight out of your chest, and what a way to die.

Then the universe has the funniest imaginable answer for you: you apparently have nothing to say back. Words are disappearing from your brain as fast as oxygen is and you wrack that foggy stupid sleepy wasteland of a mind for anything of comfort, of contradiction, anytime now! And finally, they oblige. It’s time for you to to have your voice back. The glorious result?

“Steve’s only bigger than me by six minutes, s’that don’t count.”

The saving grace is, like most, impossible to anticipate: is that these words, so oft-repeated and so thoroughly you, allow Two for the first time to peek through the blue haze of sodden inebriation. And his eyes snap open like caps popping off the sensation, no longer able to hold in an energy, but instead nigh about to burst.

“Y/N?” He asks the face emerging from the dark, dumbfounded.

“Yeah,” you sigh, expecting the worst of it, envisioning even a mad hatter Two-Bit, launching himself from the bed and swinging from wall to wall, letting the night’s craziness go with the last of his alcohol and leaving you here, downright silly.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” he mumbles.

“Bathroom’s down the hall, unless I got to show you where it is.” Resigned. Crushed, really.

“That’s a whole icebox a’chilly coming from the seventeen year old kid I just poured my heart out to.” he comments, the words still strung together with the wet weight of too-much-to-drink but more aware, more meant this time.

“Well what d’you expect? You’re too drunk to know which way’s your left hand and even when it’s morning I’ll still be in love with your fool self, you’ll have forgot it all and I love you, but I s’pose it don’t matter, at all…” you make to eject yourself from the bed, but-admittedly muscular- Two-Bit throws an arm over your whole body and holds you still.

“Say that again.” he barks, concentration molding his face handsomely in the faint morning light as it seeps into your room. It’s nuts, you briefly think to yourself, not sure what subject is meant by the ‘it.’

“I got school tomorrow,” you deflect, trying not to like this accidental brush right up to Two-Bit and the security of his arm around you. His leather jacket catches the littlest bit of violet dawn. “You gotta get out of here, and I don’t hardly know when Steve is comin’ back.”

“I don’t care.” He says deliberately, and you initially account that his Jack Daniel’s blood content makes for the look in his eyes, the way they seem to be scanning the space, your wardrobe tucked in the corner by the window. Then it sends a shiver up your spine, as without words, Two-Bit’s wide gaze corrects you that he isn’t doing anything of that kind. He’s staring, straight, deep, into your eyes. “Say you love me again.”

Fine. What do you have to lose? Only the sweetest, most caring friend you got. Only your pride whether he has no memory of your wounding it or just pretends for the rest of your existence this morning was some kind of dream. What’s left, anyway? He knows what you said and you have to get away from his hands on you before you really start to feel turmoil rise up because-of course-they can’t stay there. What have you really got coming to you on the other side if you let go of the big secret?

“I lov-” He doesn’t even let you finish the three little/big words, but suddenly draws you flush up against his chest and steals your lips forcefully from you for a moment. Getting them back, your head spins.

“I love you, too.”

“Really?” Why you ask, you don’t know. It seems to you a very childish question. Fortunately it doesn’t seem to Two-Bit like anything other than a lucky opportunity to kiss you again to make you sure. Real sure.

“Naw,” He kids, grinning like a fool, “I just snuggle in with anybody I can find ‘fore sunrise.”

“Good. I’d hate to think you and I was goin’ together now or somethin’.”

“Shoot would that mess things up. We’d have t’tell the boys then, or somethin’, and I’d have to hold you in my arms for goddamn forever,” Two-Bit’s voice is low but sharp on the end when he’s close to sleep what’s more Jax takes away some motor control when it comes to his mouth. He kisses just fine though, and he pecks you again on the top of your head before rolling over so he’s on his back. You follow suit, mind glazed with disbelief, so you can cuddle up to him. His heartbeat echoes in your ear, and you beg morning to never end. “Not t’mention things like this,” Two lets the running joke fall off and drapes an arm over your back as you close your eyes and rest on him. Your alarm clock is anything but forgiving-what’s three hours compared to the eternity cuddling with Two-Bit has its way of bringing on the desire for-but for now you two just lie together peacefully, he’d have thought he’d be off to sleep but you go first. He’ll slip out in a little while, it’s the only thing he rightfully had ought to do. But he can’t disturb you yet.

He hums Elvis, you’re fadingly aware that you know the song. Tomorrow Night.

He drapes one arm over your back and though you mumble something about time, he soothes you enough to nod off.

Two-Bit twists a lock of your hair around his finger and wonders how he got s’damn lucky.

[creepersx35-blog]

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A sleek British sports car talks directly to us in a          pixilated, garbled video. He's OUT OF BREATH. Crates are          visible behind him. We're in the shadowy bowels of a steel          room.                                                  LELAND TURBO           This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have           a flash transmission for Agent Finn           McMissile.                                  SUPERIMPOSE OVER BLACK: WALT DISNEY PICTURES PRESENTS                                                  LELAND TURBO           Finn. My cover's been compromised.           Everything's gone pear-shaped.                                  SUPERIMPOSE OVER BLACK: A PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS FILM                                                  LELAND TURBO           You won't believe what I've found           out here.                                  He angles our camera view, reveals a PORTHOLE through which          we can see flames rising in the distance.                                                  LELAND TURBO           This is bigger than anything we've           ever seen. And no one even knows it           exists. Finn, I need backup. But           don't call the cavalry - it could           blow the operation. And be careful.           It's not safe out here!                                  ANGRY VOICES O.S. Time for Turbo to go.                                                  LELAND TURBO           Transmitting my grids now. Good           luck!                                  Coordinates appear: 40 6.80' N - 172 23.84' W                                  TITLE CARD: CARS 2                                                          EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH PACIFIC - NIGHT                                  A TINY CRAB BOAT (CRABBY) crests over massive swells.                                                  CRABBY           Alright buddy, we're here. Right           where you paid me to bring you.           Question is, why?                                  A metallic blue sports car, circa the `60s, emerges from the           2.                                                          shadows. Cagey, smooth, he'd turn heads driving through any          intersection in the world. Meet FINN MCMISSILE.                                                  FINN           I'm looking for a car.                                                  CRABBY           A car? Hey pal, you can't get any           further away from land than out           here.                                                  FINN           Exactly where I want to be.                                                  CRABBY           Well I got news for you, buddy.           There's nobody out here but us.                                  Suddenly, a HORN -- a COMBAT SHIP, the size of most cruise          ships. FINN quickly backs into the shadows, out of sight.                                                  COMBAT SHIP           What are you doing out here?                                                  CRABBY           What does it look like, genius? I'm           crabbing!                                                  COMBAT SHIP           Well turn around and go back where           you came from.                                                  CRABBY           Yeah? And who's gonna make me?                                  A laser sight hits Crabby between the eyes.                                                  CRABBY           Alright, alright! Don't get your           prop in a twist.           (as he turns to leave)           What a jerk. Sorry, buddy. Looks           like it's the end of the line.           Buddy?                                  ON CRABBY'S DECK: Finn is gone.                          CUT TO:                                  FINN - He HANGS off the side of COMBAT SHIP, clandestine.                                  We're with Finn as the ship continues on, cuts through the          darkness with purpose. Suddenly small flames appear, perhaps          a knot or so away. Then WHOOSH!!! A flame rises above Finn,          the ship. It illuminates an OIL DERRICK.           3.                                                          THWAP! Finn fires a GRAPPLING HOOK to the derrick and SWINGS          toward it. He's going to SLAM into the side with brute force                         WHEN ---                                  --- HIS TIRES sprout a magnetic exoskeleton. He STICKS to the          derrick and now DRIVES VERTICALLY UP UP UP...                                  From this vantage point, hundreds of derricks appear.                                  EXT. PLATFORM - OIL DERRICK - MOMENTS LATER                                  Finn approaches a loading bay from above, hides. He watches          as GREMLINS, PACERS and assorted other cars scurry about.                                   FINN (INTO RADIO)           Leland Turbo, this is Finn           McMissile. I'm at the rally point.           Over.                                  No response.                                   FINN (INTO RADIO)           Leland, it's Finn. Please respond.           Over.                                  AN ACCESS DOOR OPENS LOUDLY below. A boxy, monacle-wearing          German car enters. This is PROFESSOR OTTO ZUNDAPP.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           (in German and English)           Too many cars here. Out of my way!                                                  FINN           Professor Zundapp?                                   PACER (O.S.)           Here it is, Professor.                                  Zundapp approaches a NOSY PACER who idles next to a CRATE.                                                  NOSY PACER           You wanted to see this before we           load it?                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Ah, yes. Very carefully...                                  A forklift opens the crate -- inside is a TV CAMERA, packed          carefully in foam. Finn SNAPS PHOTOS FURIOUSLY.                                                  NOSY PACER           Oh. A TV camera. What does it           actually do?           4.                                                                          PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           This camera is extremely dangerous.                                                  FINN                          (TO HIMSELF)           What are you up to now, Professor?                                  Finn, angling for a better view, FIRES SUSPENSION WIRES ---                                  --- which sail clear to the other side of the derrick ---                                  --- THOK! They hook tightly onto a steel girder.                                  Finn slides out ONTO THE WIRE like an acrobat, then expels          another cross-wire for support.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           This is valuable equipment. Make           sure it is properly secured for the           voyage.                                                  NOSY PACER           You got it.                                  Finn LOWERS HIMSELF. He snaps more pictures.                                   GREM (O.S.)           Hey, Professor Z!                                  Zundapp turns as a CRANE LOWERS A CAR-SIZED CRATE. GREM and          ACER, an orange Gremlin and a green Pacer, flank it.                                                  GREM           This is one of those British spies           we told you about.                                                  ACER           Yeah. This one we caught sticking           his bumper where it didn't belong.                                  Finn PRODUCES SEMI-AUTOMATIC GUNS from his side, readies          himself for a tag-team spy fight with his buddy Leland.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Agent Leland Turbo.                                  The crate is lifted, revealing a CRUSHED, CUBED Leland Turbo.                                  Finn's eyes go wide. Suddenly --- WHOOOSHHH! Another derrick          flame rises behind him, casts a Finn-shaped SHADOW over the          Professor. He looks up.           5.                                                                          PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           It's Finn McMissile! He's seen the           camera! Kill him!!                                  Finn UNLOADS with bullets as he starts to retreat --- He                         STOPS:                                  BAD GUY CARS are waiting for him on the catwalk where he just          came from - BLOWTORCHES ready.                                  Finn, stuck in midair, notices an angry CRANE. Finn GRINS,          having just found his escape.                                  THWAPTHWAPTHWAP!!! Finn releases three of his four cables,          swinging, Indiana Jones-style on the last one TOWARD THE                         CRANE ---                                  --- where he lands on its BOOM, drives UP and LAUNCHES OFF IT          where he LANDS - MOVING - onto another deck!                                  Finn now DRIVES, spraying oil and screeching around corners.          A GREMLIN in pursuit hits the oil patch, loses control ---                                  --- and PLUMMETS OFF the side of the rig!                                  The Gremlin FALLS... it's like an eternity...                                  He smashes into the water and breaks into a million pieces.                                  ON FINN - Now set upon by 20 or 30 MORE pursuing cars. He has          nowhere to go but UP UP UP a ramp toward the helipad. He          spies some GASOLINE BARRELS, fires a SINGLE BULLET which cuts          through its leather straps, sending barrels DOWN the ramp,          PAST FINN ---                                  --- PAST the pursuing CARS ---                                  --- to the bottom where they EXPLODE in a CHAIN REACTION back          UP THE RAMP, taking out at least 15 CARS!                                  ON THE HELIPAD - Finn blasts into view, pulls to a stop. No          more road. Nowhere else to go.                                  The 20 BAD GUY CARS that are still in pursuit surround him,          fire up their blowtorches. About to pounce.                                  Finn GRINS. The second time we've seen this grin. It means          he's got something cooking.                                  Finn's REVERSE LIGHTS appear. He DRIVES BACKWARD off the edge          of the helipad to the SHOCK of the other cars.                                  Finn falls. He turns himself so he's grill first, cleanly          cutting into the water.           6.                                                          He EMERGES, now sprouting HYDROFOIL and speeds away.                                                  GREM                          (NONPLUSSED)           Get to the boats.                                  THE BOATS - an army of combat ships quickly DROP into the sea          and CHURN WATER with unprecedented fury as they quickly make          up the distance between them and Finn, FIRING BULLETS as they          do so.                                                  ACER           He's getting away!                                                  COMBAT SHIP           Not for long.                                  The LEAD COMBAT SHIP quietly drops a TORPEDO into the water.          It skips along, connecting with Finn in his rear and          EXPLODING with such force that water skyrockets into the          night clouds.                                  UNDERWATER - McMissile SINKS. Then, he blinks. He GRINS.          We're starting to like this grin and what follows it. He now          CONVERTS into a submarine. From his trunk he releases four          DECOY tires which float to the surface like body parts.                                  ON THE DERRICK - Professor Zundapp watches it all from far          away.                                   GREM (OVER RADIO)           He's dead, Professor.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Wunderbar. With Finn McMissile           gone, who can stop us now?                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - DAY                                  TOW MATER, a rusty tow truck, putters into view.                                                  MATER           Mater. Tow Mater, that's who... is           here to help you!                                  He approaches a broken-down sedan on the side of the road. He          drives around to the front, catching OTIS' face for the first          time.                                                  MATER           Hey, Otis!           7.                                                                          OTIS           Hey, Mater. Gosh, I'm so sorry. I           thought I could make it this time,           but...           (he tries to start his           engine, stalls)           Smooth like pudding, huh? Ah, who           am I kidding? I'll always be a           lemon.                                  Mater hooks his friend and starts towing him.                                                  MATER           Well dadgum, you're leaking oil           again. Must be your gaskets. Hey,           look on the bright side: This is           your tenth tow this month, so that           means it's on the house.                                                  OTIS           You're the only one that's nice to           lemons like me, Mater.                                                  MATER           Don't sweat it. These things happen           to everybody, Otis.                                                  OTIS           But you never leak oil.                                                  MATER           Yeah, but I ain't perfect. Don't           tell nobody, but I think my rust is           starting to show through.                                  Mater and Otis drive past THE RADIATOR SPRINGS WELCOME SIGN.          It has been amended to say: "Home of Lightning McQueen."                                                  OTIS           Hey, is Lightning McQueen back yet?                                                  MATER           Not yet.                                                  OTIS           He must be crazy-excited about           winning his fourth Piston Cup.           Four! Wow!           8.                                                                          MATER           Yeah, we're so dadgum proud of him.           But I sure wish he'd hurry up and           get back `cause we got a whole           summer's worth of best friend fun           to make up for. Just me and --                                  Ahead of them, a half-mile off, a RED RACE CAR is visible.                                                  MATER           --- McQueen!                                  Mater FLOORS IT, dragging poor Otis behind him.                                                  OTIS           Uh, Mater? I'm in no hurry. You           don't need to go so fast!                                  Boom! They hit a bump. Otis catches air.                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - DAY                                  Lightning McQueen is surrounded by his hometown friends.                                                  LUIGI           Oh, Lightning. Welcome home.                                                  FLO           Good to have you back, honey.                                                  FILLMORE           Congratulations, man.                                                  SARGE           Welcome home, soldier.                                                  SHERIFF           The place wasn't the same without           you, son.                                                  LIZZIE           What? Did he go somewhere?                                                  MCQUEEN           It's good to be home, everybody.                                   MATER (O.S.)           McQueen!                                  They all turn around, see Mater speeding into town, with Otis          swerving behind him.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater!           9.                                                                          MATER           McQueen!                                  Mater skids into main street and in one swift motion,          slingshots Otis forward ---                                                  OTIS           Woaahhhhh!                                  --- right through Ramone's front door ---                                  INT. RAMONE'S - CONTINUOUS                                  --- where he lands perfectly on the hydraulic lift. Ramone          lifts him up, routine.                                                  RAMONE           Hey. How far'd you make it this           time, Otis?                                                  OTIS           Halfway to the county line.                                                  RAMONE           Not bad, man.                                                  OTIS           I know, I can't believe it either!                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - CONTINUOUS                                                  MATER           McQueen, welcome back!                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, it's so good to see you.                                                  MATER           You too, buddy.                                  Mater and McQueen do an ELABORATE TIRE BUMP (fist bump          style).                                                  MATER           Oh, man. You ain't gonna believe           the things I got planned for us.                                  Everyone watches as the tire bump continues.                                                  MACK           (to Lizzie, an aside)           These best friend greetings get           longer every year.           10.                                                                          MATER                          (TO MCQUEEN)           You ready to have some serious fun?                                                  MCQUEEN           Well, actually I've got something           to show you first.                                  INT. RADIATOR SPRINGS MUSEUM - DAY                                  CLOSE ON THE PISTON CUP. It has now changed, been adorned          with a small likeness of Doc. It says "Hudson Hornet Piston          Cup."                                                  MATER           Wow. I can't believe they renamed           the Piston Cup after our very own           Doc Hudson.                                  McQueen and Mater are alone, the museum closed to the public.          McQueen approaches a "Hudson Hornet" wall with Doc's three          Piston cups, framed articles, other racing ephemera.                                                  MCQUEEN           I know Doc said these things were           just old cups, but to have someone           else win it just didn't feel right,           you know?                                                  MATER           Well, Doc would've been real proud           of you. That's for sure.                                  McQueen takes this in.                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - LATER                                  McQueen and Mater exit the Doc Hudson Museum.                                                  MCQUEEN           Alright, pal. I've been waiting all           summer for this. What've you got           planned?                                                  MATER           You sure you can handle it?                                                  MCQUEEN           Come on, you know who you're           talking to? This is Lightning           McQueen. I can handle anything.           11.                                                          EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - DAY                                  Mater and McQueen roll on an old train track, their tires          off. They're on their rims.                                                  MCQUEEN           Uh.... Mater?!                                                  MATER           Just remember, your brakes ain't           gonna work on these!                                  As they head INTO A DARK TUNNEL ---                                   MCQUEEN (O.S.)           Mater!                                   MATER (O.S.)           Relax, these train tracks ain't           been used in years!                                  From inside the tunnel a loud TRAIN HORN. The two friends          emerge, going as fast as they can on train tracks, uphill,          with no tires.                                                  MCQUEEN           Come on, come on! Faster, faster!                                  Moments later a harmless GALLOPING GOOSE appears, oversized          horn visible, cackling and laughing at his prank.                                  EXT. FIELD - OUTSIDE RADIATOR SPRINGS - LATER                                  An ENORMOUS EARTH MOVER sleeps. McQueen and Mater sneak up.                                                  MATER           This is gonna be good!                                  They blow their horns and he TIPS OVER, tractor-tipping          style. They LAUGH at the gag, but soon realize the earth          mover's GIANT EXHAUST PIPE is directly above them.                                                  MATER           Uh-oh. This ain't gonna be good.                                  The exhaust pipe BELCHES. McQueen and Mater are BLASTED out          of view.                                  INT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - DUSK                                  The sun sets. McQueen and Mater roll into town. McQueen looks          exhausted. Mater is still full of energy.           12.                                                                          MATER           Boy, this was the best day ever!           And my favorite souvenir?                                  Mater proudly shows off a dent.                                                  MATER           This new dent!                                                  MCQUEEN           Boy, Mater. Today was, uh...                                                  MATER           Shoot, that was nothing. Wait til           you see what I got planned for           tonight.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, Mater. Whoa. I was kind of           thinking of just a quiet dinner.                                                  MATER           That's exactly what I was thinking.                                                  MCQUEEN           No, I... I meant with Sally, Mater.                                                  MATER           Even better! You, me and Miss Sally           going out for supper.                                  McQueen pulls around in front of Mater, stops.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, I meant it would be just me           and Sally.                                                  MATER           Oh.             ��                                    MCQUEEN           It's just for tonight. We'll do           whatever you want tomorrow.                                                  MATER                          (DISAPPOINTED)           Okay.                                                  MCQUEEN           Thanks for understanding.                                                  MATER           Yeah, sure. Y'all go on and have           fun now.           13.                                                                          MCQUEEN           Alright, then. See ya soon, amigo!                                  McQueen drives off. Mater watches him go.                                  EXT. THE WHEEL WELL - NIGHT                                  It's been converted into a white-tablecloth restaurant, with          cars dining al fresco and a hopping gastropub inside.                                  MCQUEEN AND SALLY have a prime table with a view of Radiator          Springs and the starry night sky.                                                  SALLY           This is so nice.                                                  MCQUEEN           I can't tell you how good it is to           be here alone. Just the two of us.           Finally, you and me ---                                   MATER (O.S.)           Good evening.                                  Mater is at their table, dressed as a waiter.                                                  MATER           My name is Mater and I'll be your           waiter.                          (TO HIMSELF)           Mater the waiter. That's funny           right there.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, you work here?                                                  MATER           Well yeah I work here. What'd you           think, I just snuck in here when           nobody was looking and pretended to           be your waiter, just so I could           hang out with you?                                  McQueen and Sally exchange a look.                                                  MCQUEEN           Oh, yeah. How ridiculous would that           be?                                                  MATER           Now, can I start you two lovebirds           off with a couple drinks?           14.                                                                          MCQUEEN           Yes. I'll have my usual.                                                  SALLY           You know what? I'm going to have           that too.                                  Mater blinks.                                                  MATER           Uh, right. Your usual.                          CUT TO:                                  INSIDE AT THE BAR - Fillmore and Sarge watch as Guido mixes          drinks, ala "Cocktail." Mater arrives.                                                  MATER           Guido! What's McQueen's usual?                                                  GUIDO           (in Italian, subtitled)           How should I know?                                                  MATER           Perfect! Give me two of `em.                                                  SARGE           Quiet! My program's on.                                   MEL DORADO (O.S.)           Tonight on "The Mel Dorado Show"!                                  ON THE BAR TV - "THE MEL DORADO SHOW," a cable talk show,          begins with file footage of MILES AXLEROD, a sleek SUV.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           His story gripped the world! Oil           billionaire Miles Axlerod, in an           attempt to become the first car to           circumnavigate the globe without           GPS, ironically ran out of gas and           found himself trapped in the wild!                                  We see images of newspaper headlines, search crews.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Feared dead, he emerged 36 days           later, running on a fuel he'd           distilled himself from the natural           elements! Since then he's sold his           oil fortune, converted himself from           a gas-guzzler into an electric car,           and has devoted his life to finding           a renewable, clean-burning fuel!           15.                                                          Images of oil derricks torn down; Miles Axlerod getting          converted to electric; lab scientists testing chemicals.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Now he claims to have done it with           his Allinol.                                  Images of fields, rivers, vegetables, and mountains all          combining to form the Allinol logo.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           And to show the world what his new           superfuel can do, he's created a           racing competition like no other,           inviting the greatest champions           from around the globe to battle in           the first ever World Grand Prix.           Welcome Sir Miles Axlerod.                                  SIR MILES AXLEROD arrives, parks across from Mel's desk.                                   MILES AXLEROD (ON TV)           Thank you, Mel. It is very good to           be here. Now listen to me: Big Oil.           It costs a fortune. Pollution is           getting worse. I mean, come on.           It's a fossil fuel. Fossil. As in           dead dinosaurs. And we all know           what happened to them. Alternative           energy is the future. Trust me,           Mel, after seeing Allinol in action           at the World Grand Prix, nobody           will ever go back to gasoline           again.                                                  MATER                          (TO FILLMORE)           What happened to the dinosaurs,           now?                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           And on satellite, a World Grand           Prix competitor and one of the           fastest cars in the world,           Francesco Bernoulli.                                  Across the screen: LIVE FROM ROME, ITALY. We meet Formula          race car FRANCESCO BERNOULLI.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           It is an honor, Signore Dorado. For           you.           16.                                                           MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Miles, why not invite Lightning           McQueen?                                  Mater, collecting his drinks, looks up, half-intrigued.                                   MILES AXLEROD (ON TV)           Of course we invited him. But           apparently after a very long racing           season he is taking some time off           to rest.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           Lightning McQueen would not have a           chance against Francesco!                                  Mater doesn't like this.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           I can go over 300 kilometers an           hour! In miles that is like, uh...           way faster than McQueen.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Let's go to the phones. Baltimore,           Maryland, you're on the air.                                   CALLER (ON TV)           Am I on? Hello?                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           You're on. Go ahead.                                   CALLER (ON TV)           Hello?                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Go ahead, caller.                                  Dial tone.                                   MEL DORADO (ON TV)           Let's go to Radiator Springs.           You're on, caller.                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           Yeah, that Italian feller you got           on there can't talk that way about           Lightning McQueen. He's the bestest           race car in the whole wide world.                                  Fillmore and Sarge look around. Mater is visible in the back          of the bar on an office phone.           17.                                                                          SARGE           Uh-oh...                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           If he is, how you say "the bestest           race car," then why must he rest,           eh?                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           Cause he knows what's important.           Every now and then he prefers just           to slow down, enjoy life.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           Ah, you heard it! Lightning McQueen           prefers to be slow! Of course, this           is not news to Francesco. When I           want to go to sleep I watch one of           his races. After two laps I am out           cold.                                  Audible RXNS from the bar. A crowd has been forming ever          since Mater started talking.                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           That ain't what I meant.                          CUT TO:                                  MCQUEEN AND SALLY - They hear the commotion inside.                                                  MCQUEEN           Hey, what's going on over there?           CUT BACK TO:                                  THE BAR - Sally and McQueen push through the crowd, see that          they're watching Francesco on the television.                                                  MCQUEEN                          (TO SALLY)           Oh, it's that Italian Formula car.           His name is ---                                                  SALLY           Francesco Bernoulli. No wonder           there's a crowd.                                  When Sally says his name, she enunciates each part, as if          Italian were her mother's tongue.                                                  MCQUEEN           Wait, why do you know his name? And           don't say it like that. It's three           syllables, not ten.           18.                                                                          SALLY           What? He's nice to look at. You           know, open-wheeled and all.                                                  MCQUEEN           What's wrong with fenders? I           thought you like my fenders.                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           Well let me tell you something else           there, Mr. San Francisco ---                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater?                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           McQueen could drive circles around           you.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           Driving in circles is all he can           do, no?                                   MATER'S VOICE (ON TV)           No! I mean yes. I mean he could           beat you anywhere, anytime, any           track.                                  On McQueen - he looks at Guido who gives a nod over to ---                                  --- Mater, turned away from the crowd, still on the phone.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           Mel, can we move on? Francesco           needs a caller who can provide a           little more intellectual           stimulation. Like a dump truck.                                  ON MCQUEEN. He doesn't like this at all.                                                  MATER           Ha ha! That shows what you know.           Dump trucks is dumb.                                  Suddenly, Mater is YANKED from the booth and replaced by          McQueen.                                   MCQUEEN (INTO PHONE)           Yeah, hi, this is Lightning           McQueen. Look, I don't appreciate           my best friend being insulted like           that.           19.                                                           FRANCESCO (ON TV)           McQueen! That was your best friend?           This is the difference between you           and Francesco. Francesco knows how           good he is. He does not need to           surround himself with tow trucks to           prove it.                                                  MCQUEEN           Those are strong words from a car           that is so fragile.                                   FRANCESCO (ON TV)           Fragilé!? He calls Francesco           fragilé? Not so fast, McQueen!                                                  MCQUEEN           "Not so fast." What is that, your           new motto?                                  Francesco goes ballistic in Italian. They cut his mic.                                   MILES AXLEROD (ON TV)           Well, this sounds like something           that needs to be settled on the           race course. What do you say,           Lightning McQueen? We've still got           room for one more racer.                                                  MCQUEEN           Well, I would love to. The only           thing is my crew's off for the           season so ---                                  A sound O.S. McQueen turns to see Fillmore, Sarge and Luigi          flank a tablecloth which is hanging off the bar. Ramone backs          away, having spray painted "TEAM LIGHTNING MCQUEEN" on it.          Guido quickly uncorks three wine bottles.                                                  GUIDO           Pit stop.                                  McQueen turns back to the phone.                                                  MCQUEEN           You know what? They just got back.           Deal me in, baby. Ka-chow!                                  The place ERUPTS IN CHEERS.                                  MOMENTS LATER - General excitement as McQueen exits the phone          booth where Sally waits. Off her look:           20.                                                                          MCQUEEN           I know, I know. I just got back.           But we won't be long and ---                                                  SALLY           Oh, no, don't worry about me. I've           got enough to do here. Mater's           going to have a blast though.           (off McQueen's silence)           You're bringing Mater, right? You           never bring him to any of your           races.                                  McQueen turns to the bar where Mater privately tries their          drinks, hates it, spits it back in the glass.                                                  SALLY           Just let him sit in the pits, give           him a headset. C'mon, it'll be a           thrill of a lifetime for him.                                  Mater arrives.                                                  MATER           Your drinks, sir.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater.                                                  MATER           I didn't taste it!                                                  MCQUEEN           How'd you like to come and see the           world with me?                                                  MATER           You mean it?                                                  MCQUEEN           You got me into this thing. You're           coming along.                                                 BEGIN MONTAGE:                                  - McQueen is given a new paint job and headlights by Ramone.          Mater, now sporting a "Team McQueen" emblem, seems psyched as          well.                                  - An airport DEPARTURES SIGN advertises the next flight:          Tokyo, Japan.                                  - Mater waves goodbye with his hook alongside McQueen, Guido,          Luigi, Fillmore and Sarge as ---           21.                                                          --- the rest of Radiator Springs watches them board a plane.          Red bawls.                                  - IN THE JET, LATER. McQueen and Mater are the only ones          awake, watch an insane Japanese game show.                                  - JAPAN AT NIGHT. A stylish Tokyo cityscape of neon, glamour,          scrolling billboards, vending machines and high-tech          skyscrapers.                                  - INSIDE A SOUVENIR SHOP loaded with McQueen toys: Mater and          McQueen enter. A tourist sees McQueen and faints.                                  - A KABUKI THEATER. Team McQueen watches a methodical dance.          Mater, dressed in Kabuki makeup, arrives. He looks insane.                                  - A SUMO MATCH - Two SUZUKI SAMURAI CARS wrestle over a          parking space. Mater, now in his element, cheers.                                  The MONTAGE ENDS on this high note as we CUT TO ---                                  EXT. MUSEUM - TOKYO - NIGHT                                  ---- TEAM MCQUEEN, as they roll up the red carpet. Press is          held at bay behind ropes. WORLD GRAND PRIX and ALLINOL logos          are strategically placed for maximum press exposure. RACERS          are interviewed by press behind the red-carpet ropes.                                  INT. TOKYO MUSEUM - NIGHT                                  Team McQueen enters via a second floor landing which          overlooks a massive indoor party in a converted museum. As          they roll down a ramp to the party, they are awed.                                                  LUIGI           Guido, look! Ferraris and tires!           Let's go!                                                  MCQUEEN                          (IMPRESSED)           Hey, look at this. Okay now Mater,           remember: best behavior.                                                  MATER           You got it, buddy. Hey, what's           that?                                  He sees something, peels away.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater!                                                  LEWIS HAMILTON           Hey, McQueen, over here!           22.                                                          It's fellow racers JEFF GORVETTE and LEWIS HAMILTON. McQueen          now has no choice but to let Mater go.                                                  MCQUEEN           Hey, Jeff. Lewis!                          CUT TO:                                  MATER as he approaches a GLASS-ENCLOSED ROCK GARDEN where a          pitty RAKES rocks with precision. He knocks on the glass with          his hook.                                                  MATER           Hey! You done good! You got all the           leaves!                                  People turn at the noise he's making.           CUT BACK TO:                                  MCQUEEN, JEFF and LEWIS.                                                  JEFF GORVETTE           Check out that tow truck.                                                  LEWIS HAMILTON           I wonder who that guy's with?                                                  MCQUEEN           Will you guys excuse me just for           one little second?                                  He zips over to Mater's side, quickly pulls him out of sight.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, listen. This isn't Radiator           Springs.                                                  MATER           You're just realizing that? Boy,           that jet-lag really done a number           on you.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, look -- things are different           over here. Which means maybe you           should, you know, act a little           different too.                                                  MATER           Different than what?                                                  MCQUEEN           Well, just... help me out here,           buddy. I ---           23.                                                                          MATER           You need help? Shoot, why didn't           you just say so? That's what a tow           truck does. Hey, looky there, it's           Mr. San Francisco!                                  FRANCESCO is visible across the room, holding court.                                                  MATER           I'll introduce you.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, no.                                                  MATER           (already on his way)           Look at me -- I'm helping you           already!                                  On FRANCESCO - MOMENTS LATER. Mater approaches, giddy.                                                  MATER           Hey Mr. San Francisco, I'd like you           to meet ---                                                  FRANCESCO           Lightning McQueen! Buona sera.                                                  MCQUEEN           Nice to meet you, Francesco.                                                  FRANCESCO           Yeah, nice to meet you too. You are           very good-looking. Not as good as I           thought, but you're good.                                                  MATER                          (TO FRANCESCO)           Excuse me. Can I get a picture with           you?                                                  FRANCESCO           Anything for McQueen's friend.                                  As Mater poses for a photo with Francesco:                                                  MATER           Miss Sally is gonna flip when she           sees this. She's Lightning           McQueen's girlfriend.                                                  FRANCESCO           Oooh.           24.                                                                          MATER           She's a big fan of yours.                                                  FRANCESCO           Hey, she has good taste.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater's prone to exaggeration. I           wouldn't say she's a "big" fan.                                                  MATER           You're right. She's a huge fan. She           goes on and on about your open           wheels here.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mentioning it once doesn't qualify           as going "on and on."                                                  FRANCESCO           Francesco is familiar with this           reaction to Francesco. Women           respect a car that has nothing to           hide.                                                  MCQUEEN           Yeah, uh...                                                  FRANCESCO           Let us have a toast.                                  McQueen doesn't like where this is going, covers.                                                  MCQUEEN           Let's.                                                  FRANCESCO           (raising a drink)           I dedicate my win tomorrow... to           Miss Sally.                                                  MCQUEEN           Oh, sorry. I already dedicated MY           win tomorrow to her. So if we both           do it, it's really not so special.           Besides, I don't have a drink.                                                  MATER           I'll go get you one. You mind if I           borrow a few bucks for one of them           drinks?           25.                                                                          MCQUEEN           (could kill him)           They're free, Mater.                                                  MATER           Free? Well, shoot, what am I doing           here?                                  Mater ZIPS OFF.                                                  MCQUEEN           I should probably go keep an eye on           him. See you at the race.                                  McQueen starts to leave.                                                  FRANCESCO           Yes, you will see Francesco. But           not like this.                                  Francesco does a 180, so his rear end now faces McQueen.                                                  FRANCESCO           You will see him like this, as he           drives away from you.                                  Francesco wears a bumper sticker that says "Ciao, McQueen!"                                                  MCQUEEN           That's cute. So you had one of           those made up for all the racers?                                                  FRANCESCO           No.                                                  MCQUEEN           Okay.                                  He rolls off.                                                  MCQUEEN           He is so getting beat tomorrow.                                  INT. PARTY - MOMENTS LATER                                  Lights caress the main stage where a crowd has formed.                                                  VOICE           Ladies and gentlecars... Sir Miles           Axlerod!                                  MILES AXLEROD drives through an infinity fountain, appears.           26.                                                                          MILES AXLEROD           It is my absolute honor to           introduce to you the competitors in           the first-ever World Grand Prix.           From Brazil. Number eight...                                  ON FINN MCMISSILE. He appears from the shadows, keeps a          careful distance from the stage. He ZEROES HIS GAZE ON ---                                  --- THE WORLD GRAND PRIX TV CAMERAS which roll, catching          Miles Axlerod's speech for publicity and posterity.                                  Finn's ONBOARD COMPUTER ANALYZES each one, compares to the          photos we saw him snap on the oil platform. Each one is "NOT          A MATCH." His view is suddenly disrupted by A BEAUTIFUL          SPORTS CAR. She approaches Finn. Meet HOLLEY SHIFTWELL.                                                  HOLLEY           A Volkswagen Karmann Ghia has no           radiator.                                                  FINN           That's because it's air-cooled.                                                  HOLLEY           I'm Agent Shiftwell, Holley           Shiftwell from the Tokyo Station. I           have a message from London.                                                  FINN           Not here.                          (LOUDLY)           You must try the canapes on the           mezzanine!                                  He moves her onto an elevator. The doors close on them.                                  IN THE ELEVATOR, GOING UP.                                                  FINN           So the lab boys analyzed the photo           I sent? What did they learn about           the camera?                                                  HOLLEY           It appears to be a standard           television camera. They said if you           could get closer photos next time,           that would be great.                                                  FINN           This was London's message?           27.                                                                          HOLLEY           Oh -- no, no. No sir. Um, the oil           platforms you were on? Turns out           they're sitting on the biggest oil           reserve in the world.                                                  FINN           How did we miss that?                                                  HOLLEY           They'd been scrambling everyone's           satellites. The Americans actually           discovered it just before you did.           They placed an agent on that           platform, under deep cover. He was           able to get a photo of the car           who's running the entire operation.                                  The doors OPEN and they exit onto the Mezzanine.                                                  FINN           Who is it? Has anyone seen the           photo yet?                                                  HOLLEY           No, not yet. The American is here           tonight to pass it to you. He'll           signal you when he's ready.                                                  FINN                          GOOD ---                                  Finn suddenly STOPS COLD.                                                  FINN           Oh no.                                  Professor Zundapp is visible below them. He talks with a few          Pacers and Gremlins. Finn quickly retreats into the shadows.          Holley follows suit.                                                  HOLLEY           What is it?                                                  FINN           Change of plan. You're meeting the           American.                                                  HOLLEY           What, me?           28.                                                                          FINN           Those thugs down there were on the           oil platform. If they see me, the           whole mission is compromised.                                                  HOLLEY           No, no. I'm technical, you see. I'm           in Diagnostics. I'm not a field           agent.                                                  FINN           You are now.                          CUT TO:                                  MATER as he grabs a drink, keeps moving.                                                  MATER           I'll take one of them.                                  He snatches it, drops it in the back where we now see a large          assortment of drinks balanced.                                                  MATER           Never know which one McQueen'll           have a hankering for.                                  He approaches a sushi bar.                                                  MATER           Hey, what you got here that's free?           How about that pistachio ice cream?                                  He refers to wasabi, of course.                                                  SUSHI CHEF           No, no. Wasabi.                                                  MATER           Oh, same ol', same ol'. What's up           with you? That looks delicious.                                  The chef starts to carve a small scoop aside for Mater.                                                  MATER           Uh, a little more, please.           It is free, right?           (the chef adds more)           Keep it coming. A little more. Come           on, let's go, it's free! You're           getting there... Scoop scoop!                                  The chef gives in. Scoops a baseball-sized ball out.           29.                                                                          MATER           There you go. Now THAT's a scoop of           ice cream.                                                  SUSHI CHEF           (in Japanese, subtitles)           My condolences.           CUT BACK TO:                                  MILES AXLEROD - He's now nearly done with his intros.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           ... and now, our last competitor ---           Number 95, Lightning McQueen!                                  MCQUEEN approaches the microphone, flashes his headlights.                                                  MCQUEEN           Thank you so much for having us,           Sir Axlerod. I really look forward           to racing. This is a great           opportunity.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           Oh, the pleasure is all ours,           Lightning. You and your team bring           excellence and professionalism to           this competition.                                  As if on cue, Mater arrives with a piercing scream of pain.          Everyone turns as he charges head first toward the stage,          making a bee-line for that FOUNTAIN.                                                  MATER           Somebody get me water!                                  He laps up water from the fountain like a diabetic cat.                                                  MATER                          (LAPPING WATER)           Sweet relief...                                  Miles Axlerod is shocked. The crowd can't believe it.          Francesco cackles. Mater, now sated, approaches the mic.                                                  MATER           (to the crowd)           Whatever you do, do not eat the           free pistachio ice cream. It has           turned!                                                  MCQUEEN           Sir Axlerod, I can explain. This is           Mater.           30.                                                                          MILES AXLEROD           I know him. This is the bloke that           called into the television show.                          (TO MATER)           You're the one I have to thank.                                                  MATER           No, thank you. This trip's been           amazing.                                                  MILES AXLEROD                          (TO MCQUEEN)           He's a little excited, isn't he?                                  TILT DOWN to reveal a pool of oil beneath Mater.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater!                                                  MATER           But wait, I... oh, shoot.                                  McQueen quickly pulls Mater aside, out of earshot of Miles          Axlerod and the others. McQueen is beside himself.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, you have to get a hold of           yourself. You're making a scene.                                                  MATER           But I never leak oil. Never.                                                  MCQUEEN           Go take care of yourself right now.                                  Mater drives off.                                  ON MATER - MOMENTS LATER                                  He drives through the party, frantic.                                                  MATER           Coming through! Excuse me, leakin'           oil. Where's the bathroom? Thank           you. I gotta go!                                  Someone points Mater down a hallway. He whips around the                         CORNER ---                                  --- and STOPS. Finds himself in front of TWO BATHROOM DOORS,          neither of which clearly indicate MALE or FEMALE.           31.                                                                          MATER                          (CONFUSED)           What the...                                  Mater chooses one, drives inside. A SHRIEK is heard and Mater          zips out.                                                  MATER           Sorry ladies!                                  He heads into the other door ---                          CUT TO:                                  INT. MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT                                  Mater rolls in, still `holding it in' like a kid.                                                  MATER           I never leak I never leak I never           leak...                                  He sees someone leaving a stall. He heads in.                                  IN THE STALL - Mater enters, looks up.                                                  MATER           Wowee...                                  The stall is a complicated apparatus with buttons and lights.          High-tech Japanese. It suddenly GRABS MATER, hoists him up as          if he's going to get an oil change.                                                  MATER           What in the---                                  A Japanese style cartoon CARICATURE appears on a TV MONITOR,          followed by images of waterfalls and rivers.                                                  MATER                          (GIGGLING)           Hey, that tickles.                                  The caricature starts talking in Japanese. Suddenly WATER          FIRES UP underneath Mater's undercarriage, goosing him. He          freaks out.                                  OUTSIDE THE STALL - With Mater's yells audible we see a          GREMLIN enter, furtive. Suddenly, inexplicably, his frame          BREAKS APART like an egg, revealing an AMERICAN MUSCLE CAR          underneath. The pieces of the Gremlin disappear under him,          clearly his disguise. This is ROD REDLINE - American Agent.           32.                                                                          ROD REDLINE           Okay, McMissile. I'm here. It's           time for the drop.                                  INT. PARTY - SAME                                  HOLLEY, rolls along by herself. Nervous. DING! Her rearview          monitor springs to life.                                   HOLLEY (INTO RADIO)           The American has activated his           tracking beacon.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Roger that. Move in.                                  INT. BATHROOM - SAME                                  Rod Redline, waiting at a sink, feels a presence behind him.                                  GREM and ACER have entered, hesitate briefly when they see          Rod Redline.                                  Rod Redline, careful, slides a gun out of his tire. He is          suddenly CHARGED by the AMCs --- Rod SPINS AROUND and gets a          shot off but is SLAMMED HEAD FIRST. A TIGHT, CLOSE-QUARTERS          FIGHT begins ---                                  IN THE STALL - Mater, still TRAPPED, is now being SCRUBBED as          if in a car wash. He is helpless.                                  OUTSIDE THE STALL - Rod is being pulverized. Just when he          scrambles away from one car, the other one takes over.                                  IN THE STALL - Mater is mercifully released, but when he          backs out ---                                  --- Rod Redline is THROWN INTO MATER'S STALL DOOR, crunching          it and sending Mater ---                                  --- BACK INTO THE CLUTCHES of the insane toilet.                                  INT. PARTY - SAME                                  Holley isolates the tracking beacon's location in the party.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh, you've got to be joking.                                                  FINN           What's the problem, Shiftwell?                                                  HOLLEY           He's in the loo.           33.                                                                          FINN           So go in!                                                  HOLLEY           I can't just go into the men's loo.                                                  FINN           Time is of the essence, Shiftwell.                                  INT. BATHROOM - OUTSIDE THE STALL                                  Rod Redline is in bad shape. He backs away, betrays a look of          concern. He's in trouble here.                                  ACER burns rubber, ready to finish him off. Just as he shifts          into DRIVE ---                                  --- MATER'S STALL DOOR KICKS OPEN, knocking ACER out. Mater          jumps out, face-to-face GREM.                                                  MATER           (out of breath)           Whatever you do, I would not go in           there.                                  The door SWINGS shut, revealing the pulverized Acer.                                                  MATER           A Gremlin and a Pacer!                                  Rod Redline, now behind Mater and sensing an opportunity          here, quickly produces A SMALL DEVICE.                                                  MATER           (to Grem and Acer)           No offense to your makes and           models, but you guys break down           harder than my cousin Betsy after           she got left at the ---                                  Rod Redline, surreptitiously attaches the device to Mater's          undercarriage.                                                  MATER           (as he's goosed)           --- altar!                                  He spins around, sees Rod Redline for the first time.                                                  MATER           Are you okay?                                                  ROD REDLINE           I'm fine.           34.                                                                          GREM           Hey. Tow truck.                                  Mater turns back to Grem and Acer.                                                  GREM           We'd like to get to our private           business here, if you don't mind.                                                  MATER           Oh, yeah. Don't let me get in the           way of your "private business."           Oh! A little advice: When you hear           her giggle and see that waterfall,           you best press that green button.                                                  GREM           Thank you.                                                  MATER           It's to adjust the temperature.                                                  ACER           Got it.                                                  MATER           Remember it's in Celsius, not           Fahrenheit.                                   GREM AND ACER           Get outta here!                                                  MATER           Alright then.                                  Mater exits, leaving Rod Redline to a now even angrier Grem          and Acer.                                  EXT. BATHROOM - MOMENTS LATER                                  Holley arrives at the door. She takes a breath, is about to          enter when Mater EXITS.                                                  MATER           Excuse me, ma'am.                                  He passes her, expelling some exhaust in the process.          Holley's rearview tracking confirms that the device is on          him.                                                  MATER                          (TO HIMSELF)           Dadgum pistachio ice cream.           35.                                                           HOLLEY (INTO RADIO)           This cannot be him.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Is he American?                                                  MATER           (driving off, to himself)           Look out, ladies. Mater's fittin'           to get funky!                                   HOLLEY (INTO RADIO)           Extremely.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Then it's him.                                  It's settled. Holley takes one more nervous breath, quickly          closes the distance between her and Mater, cuts him off. He          is forced to STOP.                                                  HOLLEY           Hello.                                                  MATER           Well, hello.                                                  HOLLEY           A Volkswagen Karmann Ghia has no           radiator.                                                  MATER           Well of course it doesn't. That's           `cause it's air-cooled!                                                  HOLLEY                          (RELIEVED)           Perfect. I'm from the Tokyo Station                          OF THE---                                                  MATER           Course, Karmann Ghia's weren't the           only ones. Besides the Beetles you           had your Type-3 Squarebacks, with           the pancake motors...                                                  HOLLEY           Yeah. Okay, I get it---                                                  MATER           ... And before both of them,           there's the Type-2 buses - my buddy           Fillmore's one of them.           36.                                                                          HOLLEY           Listen! We should find somewhere           more private.                                                  MATER           Uh, gee. Don't you think that's a           little, uh ---                                                  HOLLEY                          (NERVOUS ENERGY)           You're right. Impossible to know           which areas here are compromised.           So, when can I see you again?                                                  MATER           Well, let's see. Tomorrow I'll be           out there at the races.                                                  HOLLEY           Got it. We'll rendezvous then.                                  INT. PARTY - MOMENTS LATER                                  Mater returns to his team, lost in thought.                                                  MCQUEEN           There you are. Where have you been?                                                  MATER           What's a rendezvous?                                                  LUIGI           It's like a date.                                                  MATER           A date?!                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, what's going on?                                                  MATER           Well, what's going on is I've got           me a date tomorrow.                                  Guido makes a crack in Italian.                                                  LUIGI           Guido don't believe you.                                                  MATER           Well, believe it. My new girlfriend           just said so. Hey, there she is.                                  Mater points out Holley, who's within earshot.           37.                                                                          MATER                          (YELLING)           Hey! Hey lady!                                  Holley, caught in plain view, DRIVES OFF.                                                  MATER           See ya tomorrow!                                  Guido makes another crack in Italian.                                                  LUIGI           Guido still don't believe you.                                  EXT. SHIPYARD - THE DOCKS - TOKYO NIGHT                                  An industrial dock, outside of the city proper.                                  INT. SHIPYARD - NIGHT                                  Rod Redline dangles from a car magnet. He's been beaten up,          clings to consciousness.                                   GREM (O.S.)           I gotta admit ---                                  Grem, Acer, and a bunch of nasty looking troublemakers look          up at Rod amidst crates and shipping containers.                                                  GREM           --- you tricked us real good.                                                  ACER           And we don't like being tricked.                                  Rod Redline laughs to himself.                                                  ACER           Hey, what's so funny?                                                  ROD REDLINE           Well, you know, I was just wearing           a disguise. You guys are stuck           looking like that.                                  This doesn't help him. They DROP HIM onto a TREADMILL, lock          him down. A container is wheeled forward and Rod is plied          with Allinol brand gasoline.                                                  ROD REDLINE           Allinol? Thanks, fellas. I hear           this stuff is good for you.           38.                                                           PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP (O.S.)           So you think.                                  The Professor emerges from the darkness, behind Rod.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Allinol by itself is good for you.                                  Zundapp hits a button and the TREADMILL starts Rod's wheels          spinning at a high rate of speed.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           But after microscopic examination,           I have found that it has one small           weakness. When hit with an           electromagnetic pulse, it becomes           extremely dangerous.                                                  GREM                          SMILE ---                                  Grem pushes a World Grand Prix CAMERA - the same one that          was in the box back at the oil derrick. He points it at Rod          Redline.                                                  GREM           --- for the camera.                                                  ROD REDLINE           Is that all you want? I got a whole           act.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           You were very interested in this           camera on the oil platform. Now you           will witness what it really does.                                                  ROD REDLINE           Whatever you say, Professor.                                  Acer pushes a TV MONITOR toward Rod. On it, surveillance          footage from the party. Clearly, they were watching and          recording him there.                                                  ACER           You talked up a lot of cars last           night. Which one's your associate?                                                  ROD REDLINE           Your mother. Oh no, I'm sorry. It           was your sister. You know, I can't           tell them apart these days.           39.                                                                          GREM                          (HAD ENOUGH)           Could I start it now, Professor?                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Fifty percent power.           (to Rod Redline)           This camera is actually an           electromagnetic pulse emitter.                                                  ACER           (re: a girl on the TV)           What about her? Did you give it to           her?                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           The Allinol is now heating to a           boil, dramatically expanding,           causing the engine block to crack           under the stress, forcing oil into           the combustion chamber.                                  Rod Redline's engine starts to CRACK and BREAK.                                                  ACER           (re: a guy on the TV)           How about him? You talk to him?                                                  ROD REDLINE           (to Professor Zundapp)           What do I care? I can replace an           engine block.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           You may be able to, but after full           impact of the pulse, unfortunately,           there will be nothing to replace.                                                  ACER           How about him? Does he have it?                                  The monitor reveals MATER, rolling out of the bathroom and          down the hall.                                  Rod Redline, seeing this, does the world's most subtle double          take. We caught it, but there's no way anyone else in the          room could have ---                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           That's him. He's the one.                                                  GREM           Roger that, Professor Z.           40.                                                                          ROD REDLINE           No!                                  As Grem turns up the machine even MORE, the Professor makes a          call.                                   PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP (INTO PHONE)           Yes sir. We believe the infiltrator           has passed along sensitive           information.           (beat, listening)           I will take care of it before any           damage can be done.                                  The Professor hangs up, turns to the room.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           The project is still on schedule.           You will find this second agent ---                                  Zundapp kicks the camera's power into the RED.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           --- and kill him.                                  On the MONITOR - With Mater's frozen image on the screen we          see Rod EXPLODE in the reflection.                                  EXT. JAPAN - DAY                                  Over television pre-roll of Japan:                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Japan. Land of the rising sun.           Where ancient tradition meets           modern technology. Welcome to the           inaugural running of the World           Grand Prix.                                  ON OUR ANNOUNCERS as they introduce themselves:                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           I'm Brent Mustangburger, here with           racing legends Darrell Cartrip and           David Hobbscap. There's never been           a competition like this before.                                  SHOTS OF THE PITS as the racers fuel up.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           First, Allinol, making its debut           tonight as the required fuel for           all these great champions.                          (MORE)           41.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.) (CONT'D)           Second, the course itself, and it's           like nothing we've ever seen.           David, how exactly does this           competition work?                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Well, Brent, all three of these           street courses are classic round-           the-house racetracks.                                  OUTLINES OF THREE RACE COURSES are shown. They're labeled          Japan, Italy and England, and are different in shape and          size.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           This means that the LMP and Formula           cars should break out of the gate           in spectacular fashion.                                  SHOTS OF THE RACERS as they weave up the track, practicing.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Look for Francesco Bernoulli in           particular to lead early.                                  SHOTS OF Francesco, featured in an inset.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           And with a series of technical           turns throughout ---                                  MORE SHOTS of the course, now highlighting the tech turns.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           GT and Touring cars like Spain's           Miguel Camino should make up some           ground but I doubt it'll be enough           to stop Francesco from absolutely           running away with it.                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           Woah, now just hold your           horsepower. You're forgetting the           most important factor here. That           early dirt track section of the           course! The dirt is supposed to be           the great equalizer in this race.                                  GRAPHICS OF THE COURSES now isolate a stretch after the first          couple turns, label it "DIRT SECTIONS."           42.                                                           BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           French Rally car Raoul ÇaRoule is           counting on a big boost headed           through there.                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           And don't forget Lightning McQueen!           His mentor, the Hudson Hornet, was           one of the greatest dirt track           racers of all time. In my opinion,           McQueen is the best all-around           racer in this competition.                                  BACK IN THE STUDIO                                                  DAVID HOBBSCAP           Really, Darrell, I think you need           to clean your windshield. You're           clearly not seeing this for what it           is: Francesco's race to lose.                                  EXT. STARTING LINE - DAY                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           It's time to find out. The racers           are locking into the grid ---                                  Engines rev as everyone gets ready to go. Everyone's bright          eyed and alert except for McQueen who we find in the back of          the grid. He CLOSES his eyes.                                                  MCQUEEN                          (TO HIMSELF)           Speed. I am speed.                                  A LAUGH O.S. McQueen opens his eyes. Francesco is next to him          on the grid.                                                  FRANCESCO           Really? You are "speed"? Then           Francesco is triple speed.           (closes his eyes)           Francesco. Is. Triple speed.           Francesco likes this, McQueen. It's           really getting him into the zone!                                                  MCQUEEN           He is so getting beat today.                                  The starting lights click down from RED to YELLOW to GREEN.          The race begins. Francesco quickly grabs the lead. He's          pulling away within seconds.           43.                                                          ON PIT ROW - We TRACK PAST as the various Crew Chiefs on          their crash carts bark orders to their racers. We end on Team          McQueen. No Crew Chief, just a solid looking team.                                                  SARGE           His suspension stats look good.                                                  LUIGI           Tire pressure is excellent.                                                  FILLMORE           He's got plenty of fuel.                                                  MATER           And he's awesome!                          CUT TO:                                  The same view of Mater but now THROUGH A TELESCOPIC DISPLAY.          Reveal Finn and Holley watching from high above in a downtown          office building, behind reflective glass.                                                  HOLLEY           Why is he in the pits? He's so           exposed.                                                  FINN           It's his cover. One of the best           I've seen, too. Look at the detail           on that rust. It must have cost him           a fortune.                                                  HOLLEY           But why hasn't he contacted us yet?                                                  FINN           There's probably heat on him. Be           patient.                                                  HOLLEY           Right, of course. He'll signal us           when he can.                                                  FINN           And then we find out who's behind           all this.                                  ON THE TRACK - VARIOUS SHOTS OF THE RACE through Tokyo as          Francesco extends his lead and McQueen attempts to make up          ground.           44.                                                          IN MCQUEEN'S PIT - Mater watches the monitors, sees them          approaching the dirt section.                                                  MATER           McQueen! It's time to make your           move. Get on the outside and show           'em what Doc done taught you.                                   MCQUEEN (OVER RADIO)           Ten four, Mater.                                  ON THE TRACK - Francesco hits the dirt section and loses all          control. He SLAMS to a halt, his tires getting no traction.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Francesco is brought to a           screeching halt!                                  MCQUEEN skids into view, turning right to go left, passing          Francesco, followed by other cars ---                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Lightning McQueen is the first to           take advantage. And just like that,           folks, Francesco's lead is left in           the dust.                                                  MCQUEEN           Nice call, Mater. Keep it up!                                  McQueen now leads the pack, zooming out of the dirt now          starting to relax.                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           Who-hoo! Man, McQueen looks happier           than a rollbar at a demolition           derby!                                  ON PAVED ROAD AGAIN - MOMENTS LATER                                  The field of cars thunders into a tunnel.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Everyone's jostling for position as           we hit the asphalt again.                                  Francesco crests the hill, in last place. He bites down,          determined, then CHASES.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Francesco lost a lot of momentum in           the dirt. He's got some serious           work ahead of him if he wants to           get back in this race.           45.                                                          VARIOUS SHOTS OF TOKYO as the racers move through the Rainbow          Bridge. Bit by bit, Francesco ekes his way toward the front,          toward Lightning McQueen as we CUT TO ---                                  --- A ROOFTOP, and a VIEW THROUGH THE WGP CAMERA LENS. Grem          and Acer are manning this one. They focus it on the racers as          they approach.                                   PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP (OVER RADIO)           It is time.                                                  GREM           Roger that.                                  ON THE TRACK - A racer (Miguel Camino) suddenly PLUMES WITH          SMOKE and skids out.                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           Oh! Miguel Camino has blown an           engine!                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Very unusual, Darrell. He's been so           consistent all year.                                  Camino quickly pits, passing McQueen's pit where Mater is          visible.                                  ON GREM AND ACER, watching from above.                                                  GREM           You gotta be kidding me.                                                  ACER           What is it?                                                  GREM           It's that tow truck from the           bathroom.                                                  ACER           The one from the bathroom?                                                  GREM           Yeah, the one the American Agent           passed the device to.                                                  ACER           What about him?                                                  GREM           What about him? He's in the pits!           46.                                                                          ACER           Not for long.                                  Acer exits, with purpose.                                  ON FINN AND HOLLEY, still in their office hideaway. Holley's          onboard computer flashes an ALERT.                                                  HOLLEY           Hold on. I think I've got           something.                                                  FINN           What is it?                                                  HOLLEY           The Pacer from the party last           night.                                  She's spotted Acer, moving swiftly forward.                                                  HOLLEY           Cross-referencing with the photos           from the oil derricks... Yep. His           VIN numbers match.                                                  FINN           Anyone with him? He won't be alone.                                                  HOLLEY           Conducting analysis on the target.                                  The computer finds more and more bad guy Pacers and Gremlins          are in the crowd.                                                  HOLLEY           He's not the only one here.           Three... five... they're           everywhere. And they're all closing           in on... oh no.                                  We PAN OVER to see it's MATER.                                                  HOLLEY           Finn? Finn, where are you?                                  She turns. He's GONE, leaving only an open window.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Get him out of the pits now!                                  IN MCQUEEN'S PIT. A car WHIPS BY O.S.           47.                                                                          MATER           Wow! Some of them fellers is really           loud.                                   HOLLEY (OVER MATER'S RADIO)           Can you hear me? Over.                                                  MATER           Uh, what?                                   HOLLEY (OVER MATER'S RADIO)           Get out of the pit now. Do you hear           me?                                  Mater realizes this girl has somehow broken into his radio.                                   MATER (INTO RADIO)           Hey, I know you. You're that girl           from the party last night. You           wanna do our date right now?                                  ON THE TRACK - McQueen boxes out Francesco, holds his slim          lead, but barely.                                                  MCQUEEN           Guys, a little too much chatter.           Let's keep this line clear.                                  BOOM! A racer behind McQueen suddenly expels black smoke,          skids out of control.                                  ON GREM - laughing. That was clearly his handiwork.                                  IN MCQUEEN'S PIT - SAME                                   HOLLEY (ON MATER'S RADIO)           There's no time for messing about.           You've got to get out of the pits.                                                  MATER           Is there gonna be cable where you           is so I can watch the rest of the           race?                                  ON HOLLEY - Watching from the downtown building.                                   HOLLEY (INTO RADIO)           You're running out of time!                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           They're coming, Shiftwell.                                   HOLLEY (INTO RADIO)           Yes, I know.           48.                                                           FINN (OVER RADIO)           Get him out of there.                                                  HOLLEY                          (TO FINN)           I'm trying.                          (TO MATER)           Get out now!                                  We CUT BACK TO ---                                  --- MATER. He gives in, exits the pit.                                                  MATER           Well, all right but I usually like           to have a proper detailing done           before I meet a lady friend.                                  He moves toward the back PIT DOOR, is about to open it.                                  OUTSIDE THE PITS - ACER and another Pacer approach McQueen's          pit door on the other side. Ready to pounce. The doors OPEN,                         REVEALING ---                                  --- Finn, holding a fire extinguisher.                                                  ACER           Finn McMissile? But you're dead!                                                  FINN           Then this shouldn't hurt at all.                                  He empties the extinguisher in their eyes, speeds past. They          try and follow, but have been blinded. One of them crashes          right into a COP.                                  ON FINN - Already on the move, along a side street.                                                  FINN           Miss Shiftwell?                                  ON HOLLEY - Tracking everything on a grid map. Mater looks          like Pac Man, weaving through the streets as bad guys close          in all around him.                                                  HOLLEY           I've got him in the back alleys           east of the garages. Multiple           assailants are closing in quickly.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Keep him moving. I'm on my way.                                  ON MATER - He turns a corner, sees a flower shop.           49.                                                                          MATER           Hey, new lady friend? You like           flowers?                                  ON THE TRACK - McQueen, hearing this, is taken aback.                                                  MCQUEEN           What?                                  ON MATER - Slowing at the flower shop.                                   HOLLEY (OVER RADIO)           No! Don't go 'in' anywhere. Just           keep moving.                                                  MATER           Stay outside. Gotcha.                                  ON THE TRACK                                                  MCQUEEN           Outside?                                  McQueen drifts outside allowing Francesco to slip past!                                                  FRANCESCO           Grazie and arrivaderci!                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           I cannot believe what I just saw,           Brent. That was a bonehead move.           You don't open up the inside like           that!                                  IN THE BACK ALLEYS - As Mater moves on he's followed by          Pacers and Gremlins. Suddenly ---                                  --- CABLES whip in front of them, pulling over flower vending          machines and sending the shop's owners into a frenzy. They          direct their attention to the AMCs, who try and explain.                                  ON FINN, admiring his handiwork as he appears. Just as he          turns to leave he's BROADSIDED and pushed INTO A DARK ALLEY.                                  IN THE ALLEY - Finn finds himself boxed by two Pacers and          pushed toward ---                                  --- ACER, who now holds a FLAME THROWER.                                                  ACER           This time I'm gonna make sure you           stay dead.                                  He hits the flame. WHOOOSSSH!!           50.                                                          ON ANOTHER STREET - Mater clicks along, still looking for          Holley. Just as he passes the alley entrance where Finn          stares down death:                                   HOLLEY (OVER RADIO)           You're doing brilliantly. Now just           stay focused.                                                  MATER           What's that? You want me to head           toward that ruckus?                                  Mater turns INTO the alley.                                   HOLLEY (OVER RADIO)           No! Don't go down that street!                                  IN THE ALLEY - Finn, now nearly pushed completely into the          flame thrower, leaps into the air. He FIGHTS BACK, using his          wheels, axle, indeed his entire car frame as if he were          human, kicking and tossing and shooting his enemies.                                  Mater witnesses the whole thing.                                                  MATER           Wow! A live karate demonstration!                                  ON THE TRACK - McQueen, now playing catch-up again, scowls.                                                  MCQUEEN           Stop it, Mater. Just sign off.                                  IN THE BACK ALLEY - Finn polishes off the AMCs by firing a          bullet into a gas main line, causing an EXPLOSION that tosses          Acer through the air where he lands in a NOODLE SHOP'S SIGN.                                  ON THE TRACK - The end of the race is nigh ---                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           They're bumper to bumper as they           approach the finish line!                                  The Formula car gets there first.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Francesco's the winner, McQueen's           number two!                                  IN THE ALLEY - Finn heaves breaths, surveys his damage.                                                  MATER           That was cool! Hey, can I get your           autograph?           51.                                                          Mater approaches when a MASS OF RACE FANS burst out a door,          momentarily blocking Mater's view of Finn. Once the fans have          past, Finn has disappeared.                                                  MATER           Hey, where'd he go?                                   HOLLEY (OVER RADIO)           Our rendezvous has been           jeopardized. Keep the device safe.           We'll be in touch.                                                  MATER           Dadgum, did I miss our date?                                  EXT. PRESS STAGE - LATER                                  Post race press conference. Francesco is center stage.                                                  DARRELL CARTRIP           Francesco, over here! Hey, what was           your strategy today?                                                  FRANCESCO           Strategia? Francesco needs no           strategy, it's very simple. You           start the race, wait for Lightning           McQueen to choke, pass him, then           win. Francesco always wins. It's           boring.                                  McQueen, waiting in the wings, rolls his eyes. He suddenly          notices something O.S.                                  McQueen's P.O.V. - It's MATER, appearing from a side street,          moving toward the pits, oblivious of the press conference.                                                  DARRELL CARTRIP                          (TO FRANCESCO)           I gotta tell you, dude. You were in           trouble for awhile. That dirt track           section had you crawling!                                  As McQueen SNEAKS AWAY ---                                                  FRANCESCO           To truly crush one's dream, you           must first raise their hopes very           high.                                  IN MCQUEEN'S PIT GARAGE - Mater looks around for everyone as          McQueen approaches.           52.                                                                          MCQUEEN          Mater.                                                  MATER          Hey McQueen! What happened? Is the          race over? You won, right?                                                  MCQUEEN          Mater, why were you yelling things          at me while I was racing?                                                  MATER          Yelling? Oh, you thought... that's          funny right there. Nah, see that's          `cause I seen these two fellers          doing some sort of karate street          performance. It was nutso. One of          them even had a flamethrower ---                                                  MCQUEEN          A flamethrower? What are you          talking about? I don't understand.          Where were you?                                                  MATER          Going to meet my date.                                                  MCQUEEN          Your date?                                                  MATER          She started talking to me as a          voice in my head, telling me where          to go ---                                                  MCQUEEN          What?                                                  MATER          Wait a minute -- I didn't screw you          up, did I?                                                  MCQUEEN          I lost the race because of you!                                                  MATER          Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean ---                                                  MCQUEEN          An imaginary girlfriend,          flamethrowers. This is exactly why          I don't bring you along to these          things.           53.                                                                          MATER           Maybe if I, I don't know, talked to           somebody and explained what           happened I could help.                                                  MCQUEEN           I don't need your help. I don't           want your help.                                   PRESS (O.S.)           Hey, there he is!!                                  The press finds McQueen, swarms him. Mater is pushed          backwards as the questions fly again.                                                  PRESS           - McQueen, you had it in the bag!           - Yeah, what happened?                                                  MCQUEEN           I made a mistake. But I can assure           you, it won't happen again.                                  On Mater. He takes this badly.                                                  MCQUEEN           Look, guys. We know what the           problem is and we've taken care of           it.                          SMASH TO:                                  OVER FOOTAGE OF FRANCESCO and various other highlights:                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           Lightning McQueen loses in the last           lap to Francesco Bernoulli in the           first race of the World Grand Prix           and three, count em, three cars           flamed out leading some to suggest           that their fuel, Allinol, might be           to blame.                                  FOOTAGE OF MILES AXLEROD, speaking to an aggressive press. He          must SHOUT over the press.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           Allinol is safe! Alternative fuel           is safe! There is no way my fuel           caused these cars to flame out!           54.                                                          IN THE TV STUDIO - Darrell, Brent and David talk to camera.                                                  DARRELL CARTRIP           Well the jury may still be out on           whether Allinol caused these           accidents, but one thing's for           sure: Lightning McQueen blew this           race.                                  Off a FROZEN IMAGE of McQueen crossing the finish line, a          look of severe consternation across his face ---                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           Team McQueen can't be happy right           now.                                  --- MATCH CUT TO ---                                  INT. AIRPORT - JAPAN - DAY                                  --- McQueen's SMILING FACE, on a Team McQueen poster.                                  REVERSE to reveal Mater looking at it, sadly. He drives on,          passing (but not noticing) ---                                  --- GREM and ACER.                                  AT THE SECURITY CHECK - MOMENTS LATER. Cars take off their          tires, move through the metal detector. Mater waits in line.          A SECURITY CAR approaches Mater.                                                  SECURITY CAR           (in Japanese and English)           Come with me please, sir.                                                  MATER           But I'm gonna miss my plane.                                  IN THE ADMIRAL'S LOUNGE - MOMENTS LATER. The Security Car          leads Mater inside.                                                  SECURITY CAR           Right this way.                                  As they move past us the Security Car covertly drops a BALL          BEARING which rolls into a corner. The ball bearing then          sprouts MECHANICAL LEGS, tripods itself and IRISES out,          revealing itself to be a tiny CAMERA.                                  IN THE MAIN ROOM - ADMIRAL'S LOUNGE - CONTINUOUS                                  Mater follows the Security Car in, nervous.           55.                                                                          MATER           Doggone it. This is about my hook,           isn't it? I know I should've           checked it, but I can't really,           look -- it's attached to me.                                  ZWAPPPPPP!! The Security Car suddenly DECLOAKS himself,          reveals himself to be Finn McMissile!                                                  MATER           Hey, I know you. You're that feller           from the karate demonstration.                                                  FINN           I never properly introduced myself.           Finn McMissile. British           Intelligence.                                                  MATER           Tow Mater. Average intelligence.                                                  FINN           Who are you with? FBI, CIA?                                                  MATER           Let's just say I'm triple-A           affiliated. You know, I know some           karate. I don't wanna brag or           nothing, but I've got me a black           fan belt.                                  BEEP! Finn's rearview alarms. His camera has picked up Grem          and Acer. They've just entered the lounge, are right around          the corner.                                                  MATER           Hey, you wanna see some moves I           made up?                                                  FINN           You're being followed.                                  Finn quickly turns, fires a tiny GLASS CUTTING BEETLE at the          window. As Mater talks, oblivious, the beetle cuts out a          round hole.                                                  MATER           This first one I can reach into a           car's hood, pull out his battery,           and show it to him before he           stalls. I call it, "What I           accidentally did to my friend Luigi           once."           56.                                                          Mater does his best (worst) karate moves as Acer and Grem          turn the corner.                                                  GREM           There he is!                                  The glass drops away, leaving a car-sized hole.                                                  MATER           (eyes the clock)           Look, I probably ought to go. I'm           about to miss my flight.                                                  FINN           Don't worry.                                  Finn HOOKS Mater from behind. He YANKS HIM forward ---                                                  FINN           I've taken care of that. Hang on.                                  --- and LEAPS OUT THE WINDOW!                                  EXT. TARMAC - AIRPORT - JAPAN                                  Finn pulls Mater down HARD onto the tarmac, towing him away          from the terminal.                                                  MATER           This is First Class service. You           don't even have to go through the           terminal.                                  ACER and GREM appear, chasing them. Mater, who is facing          backward as he is being pulled along, faces them. They're          about a hundred yards back.                                                  MATER                          (TO FINN)           Your karate partners are back here.           They kinda look like they're trying           to catch up!                                                  FINN           Drive forward. Whatever you do,           don't stop.                                  Finn SKIDS around, whipping Mater in a 180 so that Mater is          now towing Finn.                                  Grem produces a ROCKET, lines up Finn as his target.           57.                                                          Finn, without hesitation, fires a MINI ROLLING-JACK. The jack          DRIVES ITSELF toward Grem, anchors itself under his frame and          flips him like a turtle but not before Grem gets the rocket                         OFF ---                                  THE ROCKET - it flies toward Mater and Finn.                                  FINN aims and launches a MISSILE back.                                  THE ROCKET AND MISSILE COLLIDE IN MID-AIR, EXPLODE.                                                  MATER           (only hearing this)           Is everything okay back there?                                   SIDDELEY (O.S.)           Finn, it's Sid. I'm on approach.                                  A GULFSTREAM JET wings into view overhead. This is SIDDELEY.                                                  FINN           Roger that.                                  Mater looks up: ACER screeches into view up ahead, dragging a          long row of luggage carts in Mater's path, attempting to          create an accident.                                                  MATER                          (TO FINN)           You remember that whole thing about           me not stopping no matter what?                                  Just as it looks dire --- RATATATATATATAT!!! SIDDELEY          descends, hawklike, fires bullets and blows the luggage carts          sky-high. Mater and Finn burst through them, luggage now          raining down from above.                                                  MATER           I knew I should've done carry-on!                                                  FINN                          (TO SIDDELEY)           Thanks, old boy!                                  Siddeley LANDS HARD on the tarmac ahead of them. No time to          stop, he DROPS his back open, revealing HOLLEY.                                                  MATER           Hey, doggone it. It's my imaginary           girlfriend!                                                  HOLLEY           Come on! Get in here!           58.                                                          Mater SPEEDS UP toward Siddeley's ramp, Holley.                                                  MATER                          (TO HOLLEY)           Boy I tell you what, you really do           want this first date, don't ya?           That's a no-quit attitude right           there.                                  Just as Mater's wheels touch the ramp, BULLETS PING around          him in a spray. Siddeley is HIT, a tire BLOWN. He yells in          pain.                                                  FINN           Hold on, Sid!                                  Siddeley peels off the runway onto the grass.                                  A gunfight ensues between Finn and Acer. Finn SHOOTS ACER'S          TIRE, blowing it and throwing him off-course.                                  Acer CAREENS out of control, drives up and THROUGH A JET ---                                  --- OUT THE OTHER SIDE where he lands in an oil tanker.                                  ON SIDDELEY - He's headed toward the edge of the tarmac,          where the grass and runway meet WATER. He HITS THE GAS, his          only hope.                                                  SIDDELEY           Finn, it's now or never!                                  Finn BRAKES, 180s and grabs the ramp just as Siddeley gets          air.                                                  SIDDELEY           Hold on!                                  Mater, the only thing not in the jet, dangles and recedes          from our view as Siddeley climbs toward the clouds. As he's          PULLED in through the back hatch:                                   MATER (V.O.)           By the time you read this, I will           be safely on an airplane, flying           home.                                  INT. LOBBY - HOTEL - TOKYO - DAY                                  CLOSE ON a handwritten (er, tire-written?) NOTE in childish          scrawl. We don't see all of it, only a bit. Mater's voice          O.S. begins the note with the first sentence, but we DISSOLVE          into McQueen's voice.           59.                                                                          MCQUEEN           "I'm so sorry for what I did. I           don't want to be the cause of you           losing any more races. I want you           to go prove to the world what I           already know - that you are the           greatest race car in the whole wide           world. Your best friend, Mater."                                  McQueen takes this in.                               ��                  MCQUEEN           I didn't really want him to leave.                                                  LUIGI           Wait, there's more here.                          (READS)           "P.S. Please tell the hotel I           didn't mean to order that movie. I           thought it was just a preview and I           didn't realize I was paying for it.           P.P.S... That's funny right there --           PP."           (to the others)           There's a few more pages of P.S.'s           here.                                                  MCQUEEN                          (TURNING BACK)           Well, at least I know if he's at           home he'll be safe.                                  EXT. SKY - DAY                                  SIDDELEY breaks through some cloud cover, flies with purpose.                                  INT. JET - DAY                                  A well-appointed spy jet. Various computers line the walls.                                                  FINN           Now that's how I like to start the           day! You never feel more alive than           when you're almost dead.                                                  HOLLEY                          (SCANNING MATER)           I hope that device didn't fall off.                                                  MATER           That's the closest I ever been to           missing my flight! That was ---           60.                                                          With a ROBOTIC ARM, Holley grabs the THE DEVICE that Rod          Redline hid under Mater. She yanks it out with a GOOSE.                                                  MATER                          (JUMPS)           Yow!                                                  HOLLEY           Still in one piece, great.                                  Holley drops the device into a mainframe computer. It starts          "ANALYZING."                                                  MATER           I gotta go to a doctor. I keep           getting these sharp pains in my           undercarriage.                                                  HOLLEY           Downloading the photo now.                                                  MATER           Hey, lemme introduce you two.                          (TO HOLLEY)           This here is Finn McSomething-or-           other. He's a First Class VIP           airport whatchamacallit. And Finn,           this here's my date.                          (TO HOLLEY)           I never did get your name.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh yes, sorry. It's Shiftwell.           Holley Shiftwell.                                                  MATER                          (TO FINN)           It's Shiftwell. Holley ---                                  DING! The computer is done analyzing. The cabin lights dim.                                                  FINN           Finally. Time to see who's behind           all this.                                  AN IMAGE is blasted between the three of them. It's of a          photograph, a complicated melange of metallic parts stuck          together.                                                  HOLLEY           (to Mater, expectantly)           What is this?           61.                                                                          MATER           Well, that's one of the worst           engines ever made. It's an old           aluminum V8 with a Lucas electrical           system and Whitworth bolts. Shoot,           them Whitworth bolts is a pain,           tell you what. Them ain't metric,           they ain't inches...                                                  HOLLEY           Yes, OK, right. But who's engine is           this, Mater?                                                  MATER           Well, it's kinda hard to tell from           this picture, ain't it?                                                  HOLLEY           But you're the one who took it.                                                  FINN           Holley.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh, right. Yes, of course. "A good           agent gets what he can, then gets           out before he's killed." Sorry.                                                  MATER           Agent? You mean like insurance           agent, like,                          (SINGS)           `Like a good neighbor, Mater is           there'? Wait, you mean secret           agents. You guys is spies!                                                  FINN           Holley, in how many makes and           models did this type of engine           appear?                                  Holley has these stats in seconds. Kid's play.                                                  HOLLEY           It was standard in seven models           over a 12-year period. At least           35,000 cars were made with this           engine.                                  Mater MOVES HIS SEAT FORWARD, through one part of the          hologram so he's face-to-face with Holley.                                                  MATER           You're pretty.           62.                                                                          HOLLEY                          (ANNOYED)           Yes, alright. Thank you.                                                  MATER           And so nice.                                                  HOLLEY           Just pay attention.                                  She moves the engine photo so it's now blocking Mater again.                                                  FINN           This seems like a dead end. If           there were something in the photo           that could narrow this down a bit           I'd be a lot happier.                                                  MATER           You might not be happy, but I bet           this feller is. See how he's had           most of his parts replaced? And see           all them boxes over there? Them's           all original parts. They ain't easy           to come by.                                                  HOLLEY           Rare parts.                                                  FINN           That's something we can track.                                                  HOLLEY           Exactly!                                  Holley drops her screen down.                                                  FINN           Well done, Mater! I would never           have seen that.                          (TO HOLLEY)           I know of a black-market parts           dealer in Paris, a treacherous           lowlife. But, he's the only car in           the world who can tell us whose           engine this is. Mater, what would           you say to setting up an informal           task force on this one?                                                  MATER           Wait, what?           63.                                                                          FINN           You obviously have plenty of           experience in the field.                                                  MATER           Well yeah I live right next to one.           (thinks about it)           I don't know, Finn. I ain't exactly           been much help to anybody recently.                                                  FINN           You're helping me. Please, Mater.                                                  MATER           Well, okay. But you know I'm just a           tow truck, right?                                                  FINN           Right. And I'm just in the           import/export business. Siddeley?                                                  SIDDELEY           Yes, Finn?                                                  FINN           Paris. Tout de suite.                                                  MATER           Yeah, two of them sweets for me           too, Sid!                          (TO HOLLEY)           You know, I always wanted to be a           spy.                                                  HOLLEY                          (SMILING SWEETLY)           Really? Me too.                                                  SIDDELEY           Afterburners, sir?                                                  FINN           Is there any other way?                                  EXT. JET - MOVING                                  Siddeley HITS THE JUICE, they kick forward like a mule as we          CUT TO ---                                  A MONTAGE OF PARIS: Mater attempts to merge into roundabout          traffic; mimes annoy tourists at the Eiffel Tower; a painter          works his magic on an unattractive couple; a couple kisses on          the most romantic spot in the world; we might even catch          GASTOW'S RESTAURANT.           64.                                                          The charming, low-key introduction ends with a SWEEPING VISTA          of Paris's center from far away as we CRANE DOWN INTO ---                                  EXT. STREET - DAY                                  --- a dirty street in the 1st Arrondissement. Finn and Holley          drive along together as Mater, playing "spy," darts back and          forth behind them from doorway to dumpster, "hiding out."          He's having a ball.                                                  FINN                          (TO HOLLEY)           Once we're inside, stay close.           Don't bother checking VIN numbers           for criminal records, they're all           dodgy here.                                                  HOLLEY           No VIN scans. Got it.                                                  FINN           Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at           anyone. And absolutely, positively           no idling. Are we clear?                                                  HOLLEY           Yes, right. No idling. Yes, sir.                                                  FINN           Mater?                                                  MATER           Yeah, Finn?                                                  FINN           We're not here to go shopping.                                  As Finn and Holley and Mater turn the corner...                                                  MATER           Shopping? What do you mean? Why           would I ---                                  Mater turns the corner and enters a massive Les Halles-          inspired Parisian market filled with car parts. A tow truck's          dream.                                                  MATER           Dadgum.                                                  MERCHANTS           - Parts for sale, Monsieur!           - Monsieur! Parts for sale!           65.                                                          IN THE MARKET - MOMENTS LATER                                  Mater rolls along, impressed by the goods for sale.                                                  MATER           You gotta be kidding me - they've           got everything here. Look at them           hoods! I could use a hood.                                  Mater continues on though, heeding Finn's advice.                                                  MATER           Sorry fellers, I gotta go.                                  INT. ENCLOSED MARKETPLACE - DAY                                  Mater, now out of sight of Finn and Holley, passes a darkened          stall. He STOPS, peers in. There's someone in there.                                                  MATER           Excuse me. What are you selling?                                  It suddenly OPENS its headlights revealing... EYES!! In          French, the mutant car pitches his wares to Mater. Mater          FREAKS OUT, speeds off, TERRIFIED.                                  AROUND THE CORNER - FINN AND HOLLEY                                  A few car lengths ahead of Mater. They roll along, looking          for... Aha! Finn and Holley recede into the shadows.                                  In FINN'S SIDE MIRROR: TOMBER, a three-wheeled parts dealer,          argues with a French customer.                                                  FINN           There you are.                                  Mater suddenly turns the corner, sees Finn and Holley.                                                  MATER           Man, there are some great ---                                                  FINN           Mater, get back!                                  Too late. Tomber sees Mater, then notices FINN, reflected in          a hubcap. He BOLTS. Finn and Holley give chase.                                                  MATER           Hey, wait for me!                                  Tomber, skidding away, kicks a tent in Finn's way. Holley          quickly pivots RIGHT and disappears. Where did she go?           66.                                                          Finn, hot in pursuit, leaps another obstacle and loses ground                         TO ---                                  --- Tomber who turns a corner and finds himself grill to          grill with HOLLEY. He whips to the left but TURNS OVER,          rolling sideways and CRASHING to a stop.                                  Holley ZAPS him with ELECTROSHOCKERS. Finn suddenly arrives,          stops her.                                                  FINN                          (TO HOLLEY)           Have you lost your mind?!                                                  HOLLEY           But I thought ---                                                  FINN           Mater! This chap needs a tow. Hook           him up.                                                  MATER           Sure thing.                          CUT TO:                                  MOMENTS LATER - Mater tows Tomber, following Finn and Holley.                                                  TOMBER           You rusty piece of junk, get your           dirty hook off me!                                  INT. A SMALL GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER                                  Finn throws open a door. Cars scatter like cockroaches.                                                  FINN           (to the cars)           Allez! Maintenant - vite!                                  Mater unhooks an angry Tomber who spits in French. Finn pulls          the door down. As it LATCHES TIGHT ---                                                  TOMBER                          (TO FINN)           Electroshock! Are you kidding me??                                                  FINN           Easy, Tomber. This is her first           field assignment - she didn't know           you were my informant.                                                  HOLLEY           Informant?           67.                                                                          TOMBER           A rookie, eh? I never liked new car-           smell.                                  Holley FUMES with anger.                                                  FINN           Tomber was doing 20 to life in a           Moroccan impound the first time I           saved him, if I recall correctly.                                                  TOMBER           Speaking of recalls, you're getting           up there in mileage aren't you,           Finn?                                                  HOLLEY           Alright, we get it. You both know           each other, you're both old. So.                                  Holley shoots a HOLOGRAPHIC PHOTO of the engine in front of          Tomber.                                                  HOLLEY           There you go, informant. Inform us.                                  Tomber eyes the photo. He recoils, unimpressed.                                                  TOMBER           That is the worst motor ever made.                                  Suddenly, Tomber narrows his gaze.                                                  TOMBER           Wait. That oil filter... those           wheel bearings.                                                  FINN           Do those parts look familiar,           Tomber?                                                  TOMBER           They should. I sold them.                                                  HOLLEY           To whom?                                                  TOMBER           No idea. He's my best customer, but           he always does his business over           the phone. I was always wondering           why he needs so many parts. Now I           know.           68.                                                                          MATER           Well, a lemon needs parts. Ain't           nothing truer than that.                                                  FINN           "Lemon?"                                                  MATER           Yeah, you know. Cars that don't           ever work right. Lemons is a tow           truck's bread and butter. Like them           Gremlins and Pacers we run into at           the party and the race and the           airport.                                                  FINN           Holley, pull up the pictures from           the oil platform. I want to know           what other type of cars were out           there.                                  Holley complies and suddenly PHOTOS OF CARS FROM THE OIL          PLATFORM hang suspended in the air in front of them.                                                  HOLLEY           Right. Let's see. There were Hugos.           And Trunkovs.                                                  FINN           Mater, are these cars considered           lemons?                                                  MATER           Is the Popemobile Catholic?                                                  HOLLEY           Finn. Everyone involved in this           plot is one of history's biggest           loser cars.                                  Holley refers to the ENGINE PHOTO, which now rises forward as          the prominent picture, perhaps the only one in view.                                                  FINN           And they're all taking their orders           from the car behind this engine.                                                  TOMBER           This explains it!                                                  FINN           What, Tomber?           69.                                                                          TOMBER           Gremlin, Pacer, Hugo and Trunkovs           never get together. But they're           having a secret meeting in two           days.                                                  FINN           Where's this meeting taking place?                                                  TOMBER           Porto Corsa, Italy.                                                  MATER           That's where the next race is!                                                  FINN           Then there's a good chance our           mystery engine will be there too.                                                  TOMBER           Your chances are more than good. I           just sent him a new clutch assembly           yesterday... to Porto Corsa.                                                  FINN           Holley, contact Stephenson and have           him meet us at Gare de Lyon. Good           work.                                  EXT. FRENCH ALPS - NIGHT                                  STEPHENSON, a THREE-CAR LUXURY BULLET TRAIN speeds along a          snow-covered mountain in the dead of night, its halogen          headlight cutting through the darkness. It DIPS into a                         TUNNEL ---                                   MATER (O.S.)           Boy, I'll tell you what. That three-           wheeled feller had to be right           about a big meeting.                                  INT. SPY CAR - MOVING - NIGHT                                  Mater, Finn and Holley scroll through surveillance-style          photos of TRAFFIC on an Italian street. They're in the front          train car, which doubles as a luxury seating area and          intelligence command center.                                                  MATER           You never see this many lemons in           one town. Unless there's a swap           meet, or something.                          (TO HOLLEY)                          (MORE)           70.                                                  MATER (CONT'D)           Hey, how'd you get all them           pictures?                                                  HOLLEY           Well, I remotely reprogrammed Porto           Corsa's red light cameras to do           recognition scans.                                                  MATER           Wow, not only is you the prettiest           car I ever met, but you the           smartest too.                                                  HOLLEY           Thank you. I think.                                                  MATER           That's a familiar sight.                                  Mater refers to a photo of VICTOR HUGO, the HUGO Lemonhead,          being towed by an EASTERN EUROPEAN TOW TRUCK.                                                  MATER           A Hugo being towed. But he looks           absolutely perfect.                                                  FINN           Of course. They must be the heads           of the lemon families.                                                  MATER           Makes sense. If I was rich and           broke down every day, I'd hire me           to tow me around all the time too.                                                  FINN           We've got to infiltrate that           meeting. It's the only way to find           out who's behind all this.                                                  HOLLEY                          (EYEING MATER)           Hang on a minute.                                                  MATER           What?                                                  HOLLEY           Hold still.                                  Holley SNAPS Mater's picture, temporarily blinding him.                                                  MATER           Ahh!           71.                                                          Holley turns back to her monitor. Mater's face appears on          screen. She quickly GRAFTS it over the Hugo's tow truck's.                                                  FINN           Good job, Miss Shiftwell.                                  Holley isn't sure what surprises her more: the compliment or          how pleased it makes her.                                                  HOLLEY           Thank you, Finn.                                                  MATER           Boy, I sure wish my friends could           see me now.                                  EXT. SMALL TOWN - ITALY - OUTSIDE PORTO CORSA - DAY                                  A quaint Italian piazza. A pristine MASERATI FOUNTAIN,          complete with ancient trident, looms in our view.                                  Luigi and Guido roll into view.                                                  LUIGI           Guido, your eyes do not deceive           you. We are in Italy. We are home!                                  Sarge, Fillmore and McQueen exit a WGP transport truck.                                                  FILLMORE           Hey, Luigi. Which way to the hotel,           man?                                                  LUIGI           What? No friends of mine will stay           in a hotel in my village. You will           stay with my --- Uncle Topolino!                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO, a distinguished 1937 Fiat Topolino, rolls          forward. He greets them warmly with affectionate Italian          salutations as word of Guido and Luigi's arrival spreads. The          square FILLS with family and friends.                                  EXT. PIAZZA - DUSK                                  A festive homecoming party. Lights strung across the square.          Music and dancing. Fillmore and Sarge are at a dining table.                                                  SARGE           How do they do it? These are the           same ingredients as back home, but           it tastes so good.           72.                                                                          FILLMORE           It's organic, man.                                                  SARGE           Tree hugger.                                  LIGHTNING MCQUEEN rolls along the periphery of the square,          seems lost in thought.                                   UNCLE TOPOLINO (O.S.)           Race car.                                  Uncle Topolino beckons McQueen over.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           You look so down, so low. Is like           you have flat tires.                                  MAMA TOPOLINO, a hefty Italian grandmother pipes up, a mile a          minute then drives off, now a car on a mission.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           She said you look like you're           starving. That she's going to make           you a big meal, and fatten you up.                                                  MCQUEEN           No, Mama Topolino, please. You           don't need to make a fuss!                                  Too late. She's disappeared inside her kitchen.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           Capisco. I understand. Is a           problem, yes? Between you and a           friend?                                                  MCQUEEN           How'd you know that?                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           A wise car hears one word and           understands two.                                  McQueen takes this in, impressed.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           That, and Luigi told me. While Mama           cooks, come and take a stroll with           me.                                  They amble forward, Uncle Topolino setting the pace.           73.                                                                          MCQUEEN           I brought my friend Mater along on           the trip. And I told him he needed           to act different, that we weren't           in Radiator Springs.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           This Mater. He's a close friend?                                                  MCQUEEN           He's my best friend.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           Then why would you ask him to be           someone else?                                  McQueen considers this - a realization.                                                  MCQUEEN           What did I do? I said some things           during our fight...                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           You know, back when Guido and Luigi           used to work for me, they would           fight over everything.                                  IN THE SQUARE - Guido dances with a girl. Luigi suddenly CUTS          IN. They begin to ARGUE.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           They fight over what Ferrari was           the best Ferrari; which one of           them look more like a Ferrari...           There were even some non-Ferrari           fights.                                  Guido now LIFTS Luigi, cuts BACK in.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           So I tell them, va bene. It's okay           to fight. Everybody fights now and           then, especially best friends.                                  McQueen takes this in. Seems to take some small comfort.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           But you gotta make up fast.                                  McQueen's comfort quickly evaporates.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           No fight more important than           friendship.           74.                                                          Guido and Luigi now dance together with the girl and her          friend who has just arrived. All having a great time. They          dance past us, crossing in front of MCQUEEN AND UNCLE          TOPOLINO. We STAY WITH them.                                                  UNCLE TOPOLINO           Chi trova un'amico, trova un           tesoro.                                                  MCQUEEN           What does that mean?                                                  MAMA TOPOLINO                          (ARRIVING)           Whoever find a friend, find a           treasure.                                  Mama Topolino drops a tray of food in front of McQueen.                                                  MAMA TOPOLINO           Now, mangia! Eat!                                  ON MCQUEEN, distant, taking all of this in, lost in thought          as, in the background, Uncle Topolino and Mama Topolino talk,          then argue, then make up (all in Italian) all while we stay          on McQueen's pensive face ---                                  INT. TRAIN TUNNEL - LATER                                  Stephenson glides along, all business.                                                  STEPHENSON           Finn, one hour to Porto Corsa.                                  INT. TRAIN - MOVING - LATER                                                  FINN           Thank you, Stephenson.                                  Finn watches as HOLLEY attaches a new EMERGENCY LIGHT on          Mater's roof. It looks exactly like his old one.                                                  HOLLEY           That should just about do it.                                                  FINN           Perfect.                                                  HOLLEY           So Mater, it's voice-activated. But           you know, everything's voice-           activated these days.           75.                                                                          MATER           What? I thought you was supposed to           be making me a disguise.                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Voice recognized. Disguise Program           Initiated.                                  ZWWWWAT! A HOLOGRAPHIC disguise suddenly umbrellas out,          emitted from Mater's roof. It drops a clean cloaking image of          the EASTERN EUROPEAN TOW TRUCK over Mater.                                                  MATER           Cool! Hey, computer. Make me a           German truck!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  ZWATTTT! Mater suddenly wears lederhosen and a German hat.                                                  MATER           Check it out. I'm wearing           Materhosen. Make me a monster           truck!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  He's transformed into Dracula, complete with fangs.                                                  MATER                          (ALA DRACULA)           I vant to siphon your gas. Now make           me a taco truck!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                                  MATER           A funny car!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  Finn suddenly pushes a button, stops the madness.                                                  FINN           The idea is to keep a low profile,           Mater.                                  Mater, chastened, moves on.           76.                                                                          MATER           So I just go in, pretend to be this           truck.                                                  FINN           And leave the rest to us.                                                  HOLLEY           Now hold still.                                  Holley turns back to her work. The disguise's cloaking is          larger than Mater. As a result, Holley must dial it back to          fit his body. As she carefully calibrates the hologram:                                                  HOLLEY           I have to do the final fitting on           your disguise.                                  Holley STOPS. The 3D disguise is now flush with his frame,          but dents SHOW THROUGH.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh dear. That's no good.                                  She deploys A BONDO SPRAYER on a robotic arm, moves it toward          one of Mater's DENTS. Mater pulls away.                                                  MATER           Hey, what are you doing?                                                  HOLLEY           The disguise won't calibrate           effectively without a smooth           surface to graft onto.                                                  MATER           Oh. For a second there I thought           you was trying to fix my dents.                                                  HOLLEY           I was.                                                  MATER           Well then no thank you. I don't get           them dents buffed, pulled, filled           or painted by nobody. They're way           too valuable.                                                  HOLLEY           Your dents are valuable?                                                  MATER           I come by each one of them with my           best friend Lightning McQueen.                          (MORE)           77.                                                  MATER (CONT'D)           I don't fix these. I want to           remember these dents forever.                                                  HOLLEY           So you were being serious in Paris?           McQueen isn't just part of your           cover?                                                  FINN           Friendships can be dangerous in our           line of work, Mater.                                                  MATER           But my line of work is towing and           salvage.                                                  FINN           Right. And Miss Shiftwell's is           designing iPhone apps.                                                  MATER           No, I meant for real. I ---                                                  HOLLEY           It's okay. Say no more. I'll work           around the dent.                                                  FINN           In the meantime...                                  Finn hits a button. The walls transform into a MASSIVE          WEAPONS CACHE.                                                  FINN           You look a little light on weapons.                                  Off Mater's RXN ---                                  EXT. ALPS - DAWN                                  --- STEPHENSON EMERGES LOUDLY from a tunnel. He powers          forward, starts his descent into Italy ---                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           You are looking live at beautiful           Porto Corsa, Italy, on the Italian           Riviera. What a magnificent setting           for the second race of the World           Grand Prix.                                  EXT. PORTO CORSA, ITALY - DAY                                  Over sweeping helicopter BEAUTY SHOTS:           78.                                                           DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Well Brent, they call this place           "The Gem of the Riviera," and it's           easy to see why.                                  A local fishing boat chugs through an idyllic waterway,          beneath bridges that connect hillside villas.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           With its secluded beaches and           opulent casinos, Porto Corsa truly           is a playground for the wealthy.                                  A long line of RICH-LOOKING YACHTS in the harbor.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           And everyone who's anyone is here           today.                                  Rich SPORTS CARS drive past pricey shops.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           From the ultra-rich and super-           famous, to world leaders and           important dignitaries.                                  THE POPEMOBILE, visible in a crowd, drives through town.                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           You aren't kidding, David. You           can't do a three-point turn around           here without bumping into some           celebrity!                                  HELICOPTER SHOT of the Casino.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Welcome everyone to the second race           of the World Grand Prix!                          CUT TO:                                  MUSTANGBURGER, HOBBSCAP and CARTRIP in the control booth.                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           The big news continues to be           Allinol. Sir Miles Axlerod spoke to           the press earlier today to answer           questions about its safety.                                  FOOTAGE OF THE PRESS CONFERENCE - Miles Axlerod, at a podium,          addresses the press throng. He looks a bit exasperated.           79.                                                                          MILES AXLEROD           An independent panel of scientists           has determined that Allinol is           completely safe. Okay? Safe! There           it is.                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           So the race will go on, folks.                                  RACE GRAPHICS show Francesco with 10 points at the top of the          race standings.                                                  DARRELL CARTRIP           But the question everyone is           asking: Will the real Lightning           McQueen show up today?                                  ON THE TRACK - As the racers begin to get into position on          the grid.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Well, he better. Talk about a home-           track advantage. Francesco           Bernoulli grew up racing on this           course.                                   ITALIAN TRACK ANNOUNCER (V.O.)           Signore e signori, in the pole           position, numero uno...                                  The crowd is cheering already, knows who this is.                                   ITALIAN TRACK ANNOUNCER (V.O.)           ... Francescoooooo!                                  The Italian crowd roars and chants for their hometown hero.                                                  FRANCESCO           (to the crowd)           Bellissima! Thank you for your           support.                          (TO MCQUEEN)           And your big mistake, McQueen!                                  McQueen missed this comment. He approaches his grid position,          lost in thought.                                   ITALIAN TRACK ANNOUNCER (V.O.)           In the secondo position. Numero           novantacinque. Lightning McQueen!                                  Cheers (not so thunderous, obviously) from the crowd. McQueen          doesn't seem to notice.           80.                                                          IN MCQUEEN'S PIT - His team exchanges looks, worried.                                                  LUIGI           McQueen? Is everything okay?                                                  FILLMORE           If you're worried about your fuel,           man, don't. It's perfectly safe.                                  BACK ON THE STARTING GRID                                                  MCQUEEN           No, guys, I just really wish Mater           were here.                                   FRANCESCO (O.S.)           Francesco understands, McQueen.                                  Francesco parks next to him, grinning.                                                  MCQUEEN           Oh, great. Here it comes. What've           you got, Francesco?                                                  FRANCESCO           For famous race cars like Francesco           and well... you, to be far away           from home is not easy.                                                  MCQUEEN           I think you forgot the insulting           part of that insult.                                                  FRANCESCO           Is no insult. When Francesco is           away from home, he misses his mama           just like you miss your tow truck           amico.                                                  MCQUEEN           Gee, I maybe misjudged you, because           that's exactly how I ---                                                  FRANCESCO           Of course, I am at home. And my           mama is right here.                                  Francesco refers to his MAMA who sits in a special box in the          crowd, cheering him on, blowing him kisses.                                                  FRANCESCO                          (YELLS)           Mama! Don't worry, Mama!                          (MORE)           81.                                                  FRANCESCO (CONT'D)           McQueen is very sad! I will beat           his cry-baby bottom today!                                                  MCQUEEN           And there's the insult we were           missing. Grazie!                                  THE LIGHTS - CLICK FROM RED TO GREEN ---                                  THE RACERS TAKE OFF!                                  EXT. PORTO CORSA - DAY                                  SHOTS of the racers making the first few turns through the          city streets. We PAN to the CASINO DI PORTO CORSA. The Beaux          Arts-style architecture towers atop a hill, overlooks the          course.                                  EXT. THE CASINO - MOMENTS LATER                                  A group of thuggish HUGOS - ugly Eastern European cars - wait          impatiently at the front. A LIMOUSINE-STYLE car carrier rolls          up to the roundabout.                                  An esteemed, elderly GREMLIN rolls past with a group of          GREMLIN THUGS who usher him into the casino.                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           Gremlins. Man, those are some ugly           cars. Look like someone stole their           trunks.                                  The THUGS all SNICKER.                                                  HOLLEY           Scusatemi, tutti! Signori!                                  Holley arrives, sporting a decent Italian accent.                                                  HOLLEY           Mio nonno, my grandfather, has           broken down. If one of you would           help I would be so thankful.                                  IVAN, AN EASTERN EUROPEAN TOW TRUCK (the one Holley and Finn          prepped Mater to impersonate), drives forward.                                   IVAN THE TOW TRUCK           Sounds like you need some "roadside           assistance".                                                  ANOTHER HUGO           She was talking to me, Ivan.           82.                                                           IVAN THE TOW TRUCK           Oh really? Prove it.                                                  HOLLEY           No, no, don't fight over me.                                  Holley directs her interest toward Ivan.                                                  HOLLEY           Signore Tow Truck, per favore?                          CUT TO:                                  MATER - He watches this from a safe hiding spot around a          corner.                                   FINN (V.O.)           Get ready, Mater.                          CUT TO:                                  FINN, at an outdoor cafe on the casino grounds.                                                  FINN           You're on any moment now.           CUT BACK TO:                                  MATER, now looking a bit nervous. He backs out of sight.                                                  MATER           I don't know about this, Finn.           What if I screw things up?                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Impossible. Just apply the same           level of dedication you've been           using to play the "idiot tow truck"           and you'll be fine.                                                  MATER           It's just that them guys look           pretty tough and --- Wait, did you           say "idiot"? Is that how you see           me?                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           That's how everyone sees you. Isn't           that the idea? I tell you, that's           the genius of it. No one realizes           they're being fooled because           they're too busy laughing at the           fool. Brilliant.                                  While Finn talks, Mater takes this in. He catches his own          reflection in a nearby window. Seems to be seeing himself          with new eyes.           83.                                                          ZZZZATTT! Mater jumps at the sound, turns in time to see Ivan          SHOCKED UNCONSCIOUS by Holley's ZAPPERS.                                                  HOLLEY           Why aren't you in disguise?                                                  MATER           I, uh---                                                  HOLLEY           Come on, there's no time. Go!                                                  MATER           Okay, okay. Computer: disguise.                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  EXT. AROUND THE NEXT CORNER - CONTINUOUS                                  Mater, now disguised as Ivan the Tow Truck, approaches the          Hugos. Another LIMO CAR CARRIER arrives.                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           It's the boss! He is coming!                                  The carrier parks and the back opens. VICTOR HUGO waits.                                                  VICTOR HUGO           Ivan!                                  Mater realizes Victor is talking to him. He hops to it.                                                  VICTOR HUGO           Ivan, why do you insult me so by           making me wait?                                  Mater, now with Victor hooked, tows him in the front doors of          the casino.                                  ON FINN - now joined in the cafe by Holley who monitors          everything and SEES EVERYTHING MATER SEES on her display.                                                  HOLLEY           He's in.                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - PORTO CORSA - DAY                                  McQueen and Francesco battle for first place ---                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           The racers are now making their way           around the hairpin, and headed           downhill toward the casino bridge.           84.                                                          INT. CASINO - DAY                                  Cars play craps with FUZZY DICE; slot machines with odometers          for jackpot numbers; cigarette girls sell car items.                                   CIGARETTE GIRL CAR           Air Freshener, antenna balls,           sparkplugs...                                  ON MATER - He tows VICTOR. They are flanked on all four          corners by Hugo thugs, ala a presidential motorcade. The          largess of the interior design seems to finally snap Mater          out of his funk.                                                  MATER                          (WIDE-EYED)           Wow, this place looks like it's           made out of gold.                                  The Hugos on either side of Mater exchange a look.                                   HOLLEY (OVER RADIO)           That's because it is, Mater. Now,           be careful what you say.                                                  MATER           Why is that? What do you mean don't           talk to you?           (more talking from Holley           which we cannot hear)           So you want me to stop talking to           you. Right now?                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           You are acting strange today, Ivan.                                                  MATER           I have no idea what you're talking           about...                                  MATER'S P.O.V. - A digital readout isolates the Hugo and          starts to scroll reams of information alongside.                                                  MATER           ...Alexander Hugo, aka "Chop Shop           Alex."                                  IN A WIDER SHOT we realize this display is invisible to all          but Mater. Some of Alex's other alias' include "Alexander Hu-          Don't Go" and "Alexander the Not-So Great."           85.                                                                          MATER           Hey, you got a lot of aka's, Alex.           But I guess that makes sense           seeings how you's wanted in France,           Germany, the Czech Republic...                                                  HOLLEY           (cutting in to his                          DISPLAY)           Mater! Stop it!                                  Alexander Hugo, unaware of Holley's interruption, whispers to          Mater as they turn a corner.                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           Okay, okay. Keep your voice down.           You're gonna make me arrested.           (to the other Hugos)           Don't mess with Ivan today. He's in           a bad mood.                                  EXT. CASINO - DAY                                  Holley, hearing this, can't believe it.                                                  FINN           He's so good.                                  INT. CASINO - DAY                                  Mater tows Victor inside a private room, where inside are the          WORLD'S WORST CARS including VLADMIR TRUNKOV, TUBBS PACER and          J. CURBY GREMLIN.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Victor!                                                  TUBBS PACER           Hey, Victor!                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           There you are.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Come in, come in.                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           Victor Hugo. I'm J. Curby Gremlin,           from Detroit. It's good to see you.           Now we can start.                                                  VICTOR HUGO           Is the big boss here yet?           86.                                                                          VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           No, not yet.                                                  TUBBS PACER           He's supposed to be here any           minute.                                  WHAM! A DOOR is thrown open O.S. Everyone turns, now silent.                                  ON THE DOOR - It sits open. No one enters.                                  The room of Lemons watch, nervous.                                  ON MATER - Nervously watching too.                                  EXT. CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                                  FINN           Here we go.                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                  A car finally appears. It's Zundapp.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Guten Tag!                                  Everyone looks disappointed.                                                  TUBBS PACER           It's just the Professor.                                                  VICTOR HUGO           Zundapp, when is he coming?                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           He's already here.                                  MONITORS descend from the ceiling. On them, an image of AN          ENGINE - the same bloody engine from the photo. But this is a          LIVE image. The car is being worked on.                                                  VOICE           Welcome, everyone.                                  The VOICE is garbled, scrambled. No way to determine who.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           I wish I could be with you on this           very special day but... my clutch           assembly broke. You know how it is.                                  The Lemons all nod in understanding.           87.                                                                          TUBBS PACER           Been there.                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           Forget about it.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           We know how you feel.                                  EXT. CASINO                                                  FINN           Descramble that voice!                                                  HOLLEY           (already on it)           I'm trying... It's too           sophisticated!                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                                  ENGINE VOICE           We are here to celebrate. Today all           your hard work pays off. The world           turned their backs on cars like us.           They stopped manufacturing us,           stopped making our parts. The only           thing they haven't stopped doing is           laughing at us. They've called us           terrible names...                                  On VICTOR HUGO.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           Jalopy. Rustbucket.                                  On TUBBS PACER.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           Heap. Clunker.                                  On J. CURBY GREMLIN:                                                  ENGINE VOICE           Junker, beater, wreck.                                  On ZUNDAPP.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           Rattletrap.                                  And finally back on the monitor. The ENGINE.           88.                                                                          ENGINE VOICE           Lemon. But their insults just give           us strength. Because today, my           friends...                                  The monitors switch to LIVE RACE FOOTAGE.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           ...that all ends.                                  On the VIDEO SCREENS - CARLA VELOSO'S ENGINE BLOWS ---                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - CONTINUOUS                                  Veloso swerves, attempts to mitigate a crash ---                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           There's smoke! On the casino           bridge!                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Oh no.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           It's Carla Veloso, the Brazilian           race car.                                  She skids into a wall, hard.                                  EXT. CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                                  FINN           What just happened?                                                  HOLLEY           (analyzing the data)           I'm working on it.                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                  The lemons are CHEERING. Mater is freaked out.                                                  ENGINE VOICE           They laughed at us. But now it's           our turn to laugh back.                                  BOOM! Another racer blows an engine. Mater JUMPS again.                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - SAME                                  As the racer smashes into the railing ---           89.                                                           DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Another crash! It's number nine,           Nigel Gearsley.                                   ENGINE VOICE (V.O.)           Embrace your inner lemon! Let it           drive you!                                  EXT. CASINO                                                  FINN           Holley?                                                  HOLLEY           I'm detecting an extremely strong           electromagnetic pulse.                                  Holley replays that last crash. The OUTLINE OF THE BEAM is          seen hitting the racer. Holley TRACES THIS to its source ---                                  --- a WGP CAMERA, which Grem and Acer have pointed at the          racers from a tower position.                                                  HOLLEY           Finn, it's the camera!                                                  FINN           Where?                                                  HOLLEY           On the tower.                                  Finn TAKES OFF, speeding toward Grem and Acer ---                                   ENGINE VOICE (V.O.)           This was meant to be alternative           fuel's greatest moment.                                  EXT. GRANDSTANDS - RACE COURSE - CONTINUOUS                                  Angry fans knock over cans of Allinol. One drives over an          Allinol sign. They're fed up with it.                                   ENGINE VOICE (V.O.)           After today everyone will race back           to gasoline.                                  We RACK FOCUS to reveal another fan as he RIPS an Allinol          banner down angrily.                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                  The video screens are now filled with ONE IMAGE - of the OIL          PLATFORMS in the Pacific from the beginning of the movie.           90.                                                                          ENGINE VOICE           And we, the owners of the world's           largest untapped oil reserve, will           become the most powerful cars in           the world!                                  EXT. STREETS OF PORTO CORSA - CONTINUOUS                                  Finn ducks, weaves, speeds, and pushes his way through                         BYSTANDERS ---                                                  FINN           Get out of the way! Andate!                                  He speeds furiously through town.                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - PORTO CORSA - CONTINUOUS                                  McQueen and Francesco FLY PAST US.                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO                                                  ENGINE VOICE           They will come to us and they will           have no choice, `cause they will           need us.                                  ON FINN - He SPEEDS up a road, Grem and Acer visible ahead of          him. He LEAPS over the crevasse toward the AMC cousins ---                                  Suddenly, FINN FREEZES. He's immobilized in mid-air!                                  He looks up. A CHOPPER with a LARGE MAGNET hovers over him.                                                  ACER                          (TO FINN)           We figured you might stop by.                                   ENGINE VOICE (V.O.)           And they will finally respect us.           So hold your hoods high. After           today you will never again be           ashamed of who you are!                                  Grem and Acer turn back to the camera. They line up Shu          Todoroki, who's a bit further along now.                                                  FINN           No!                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                                  ENGINE VOICE           Long live Lemons!           91.                                                          EXT. RACE COURSE                                  Grem ZAPS THE RACER.                                  Flames burst from Todoroki. He loses control.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Number seven is loose! Shu           Todoroki!                                  Shu takes down three more cars with him and others follow          suit. It's a nightmare pileup.                                  EXT. CASINO - SAME                                  Holley sees Finn being flown away by the chopper.                                                  HOLLEY           Finn.                                  EXT. FINISH LINE - PORTO CORSA - CONTINUOUS                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Bumper to bumper as they approach           the finish line.                                  McQueen NOSES out Francesco for a win, both oblivious to          what's just happened.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           McQueen's the winner, Francesco's           second. And they have no idea what           happened behind them.                                                  MCQUEEN           Yeah!                                                  FRANCESCO           Dah! This is impossible!                                                  MCQUEEN           That's what I'm talking about.           Kachow! Hey, where are all the           other cars?                                                  FRANCESCO           What is going on?                                  They see the pile-up from an overhead monitor. Sirens blare          as a MEDIC CHOPPER flies to the scene of the pile-up.           92.                                                                          MCQUEEN                          (REALIZES)           Oh no.                          CUT TO:                                  MILES AXLEROD - LATER. He's near the casino. He's completely          surrounded, 360 degrees, by press. He's drowned out by a          blizzard of questions.                                                  BRENT MUSTANGBURGER           Sir Axlerod! Is the final race in           London still going to take place?                                  PULL BACK to reveal we are watching this on monitors in the          PRIVATE CASINO ROOM with the Lemonheads, Zundapp and Mater.                                   MILES AXLEROD (ON TV)           I suppose that... Look, "the show           must go on" as they say. But now is           not the time to talk about...                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           I can't believe this is really           happening.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Shh, quiet!                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (ON TV)           And Allinol? Will you require all           the racers to still run on Allinol?                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Here it comes.                                  On Miles Axlerod: He's devastated.                                   MILES AXLEROD (ON TV)           I cannot in good conscience           continue to risk the lives of any           more race cars. The final race will           not be run on Allinol.                                  WILD WHOOPING CHEERS fill the room. Lemonade corks are          popped.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (ON TV)           There you have it. A clearly           devastated Sir Miles Axlerod           announcing that he will not require           the cars to use Allinol for the           final race.           93.                                                                          PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           A toast! To the death of Allinol           and alternative fuel forever!                                  EXT. CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                  Holley is already on the run. Speeding away.                                                  HOLLEY           Mater. Abort the mission. They've           got Finn. Get out of there. Get out           of there right now!                                  She turns a corner and STOPS.                                  Her escape is now blocked by the same HUGO THUGS she tricked          before. Another vehicle appears BEHIND HER, LOOMS.                                   IVAN THE TOW TRUCK           How is your grandfather?                                  INT. PRIVATE ROOM - CASINO - CONTINUOUS                                  The Lemonheads celebrate, chant "Long live lemons!" Mater,          scared, turns to leave. He's stopped by ALEXANDER HUGO.                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           Isn't this a great party, Ivan?                                                  MATER           Oh yeah, it's unbelievable.                                                  ALEXANDER HUGO           You are not leaving, are you?                                                  MATER           Uh, of course I ain't leavin'.                                   MCQUEEN (O.S.)           I'm just in shock like everybody...                                                  MATER           McQueen?                                  He turns, sees that McQueen is being interviewed on the          monitors.                                   MCQUEEN (ON TV)           Crashes are part of racing, I know.           But something like that shouldn't           ever happen.           94.                                                           DARRELL CARTRIP (ON TV)           They're letting you choose your           fuel for the final race. Do you           have any idea what it's going to           be?                                   MCQUEEN (ON TV)           Allinol.                                  The excitement suddenly DRAINS from the room.                                                  LEMONHEADS           - What?! - Did he just say           Allinol? After today?                                   MCQUEEN (ON TV)           My friend Fillmore says the fuel's           safe. That's good enough for me. I           didn't stand by a friend of mine           recently. I'm not gonna make the           same mistake twice.                                  On Mater. He takes this in.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (ON TV)           So a surprising revelation from           Lightning McQueen...                                  Zundapp is already on the phone with their Big Boss who,          based on his angry O.S. voice, sounds ticked off.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Yes, sir. Of course.                                  Zundapp hangs up, turns to the room.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Allinol must be finished for good.           McQueen cannot win the last race.           Lightning McQueen must be killed.                                  Mater's eyes open wide.                                                  MATER           No!                                  Mater backs up, KNOCKING his emergency light against one of          the monitors. ZZZZZAT! His holographic disguise flickers away          then quickly SCROLLS THROUGH all of his previous disguises,          finally revealing rusty old Mater.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           It's the American spy!           95.                                                          The thugs DRAW TERRIFYING WEAPONS.                                                  MATER           Dadgum.                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           "Gatling gun" request acknowledged.                                  WHIRRRRR! GUNS roll out of Mater on each side.                                                  MATER           Shoot. I didn't mean ---                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  Mater SPRAYS BULLETS into the crowd.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Get down!                                                  MATER           Whoa!!                                  The Lemons and Lemonheads hit the deck and RETURN FIRE ---                                  Mater is THROWN BACKWARD by the force of the guns, back          through some double doors and onto a BALCONY.                                                  MATER           Wait wait! I didn't mean that kind           of shoot!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Correction acknowledged. Deploying           chute.                                  WHOOM! A PARACHUTE BURSTS out of the back of Mater, he          catches air and is YANKED INTO THE SKY!                                  The Lemonheads watch him float away, amazed.                                  ON MATER, out of the frying pan but still toasty. He looks          around, notices:                                  LIGHTNING MCQUEEN, far away, leaving the press podium.                                                  MATER           McQueen!                                  Mater looks down at the harbor, over which he flies. He spots          a MOTORBOAT. Mater WHIPS his hook down, steals a ride behind          the boat TOWARD MCQUEEN.           96.                                                                          ITALIAN MOTORBOAT           Aspetti!                                  The motorboat isn't happy about this, tries to shake him.          Mater is THROWN INTO A "HOTEL" sign, then SMASHES down          through a Francesco souvenir stand. As he CRASHES onto the          ground hard, we SMASH CUT TO ---                                  EXT. SECURITY CHECKPOINT - WINNERS CIRCLE                                  --- a barricade. Separating the press from the public,          ITALIAN SECURITY TRUCKS stand guard.                                                  MATER           Lemme through! Lemme through!                                  MATER barrels around a corner. He's now covered in Francesco          memorabilia and palm leaves. The word `HOT' now dangles off          him like the world's biggest bling. He looks INSANE.                                                  MATER                          (TO SECURITY)           You gotta let me in! I gotta get           through to warn McQueen!                                  Security eyes one another. This is serious.                                                  ITALIAN SECURITY #1           You cannot come through here. Back           up, signore.                                                  ITALIAN SECURITY #2           (into a walkie-talkie)           We have a lunatic at Gate Nove.                                                  MATER           No, listen! I was disguised as a           tow truck to infiltrate this           Lemonhead meeting and my weapons           system misinterperated what I was                          SAYING ---                                                  ITALIAN SECURITY #2           I repeat. Lunatic at Gate Nove.                                  Mater spots McQueen far off in the distance.                                                  MATER           McQueen! McQueen!                                  JUST OFF THE PRESS STAGE - McQueen is led toward the exit.                                                  PRESS LIAISON           Right this way, signore.           97.                                                           MATER (O.S.)                          (DISTANT)           McQueen!                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater?                                  McQueen looks up but can only see A SEA OF VEHICLES,          flashbulbs, cameras, TV trucks with those tall satellite          antennae things that spindle toward the sky...                                  BACK AT THE SECURITY BARRICADE - Mater, like a nimble running          back, dances around to avoid capture by security.                                                  MATER           McQueen!                                                  ITALIAN SECURITY #1           Back up, sir. Stop moving! Stop!                                  Mater head fakes them and pushes through, into the crowd ---                                                  ITALIAN SECURITY #1           Oy! Stop! Ferma li!                                  IN THE CROWD - Mater shoves his way through. He's still far          in the back.                                                  MATER           McQueen!                                                 ON MCQUEEN                                                  MCQUEEN           That really sounded like Mater.           Mater?                                                  PRESS LIAISON                          (TO MCQUEEN)           Signore...                                  ON MATER, getting CLOSER...                                                  MATER           McQueen, they're gonna kill you!!                                  ON MCQUEEN - Okay, he's positive that was his friend, but          where is he?                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater?!                                  McQueen spots a TOW HOOK, moving through the crowd toward          him, "Jaws"-like.           98.                                                                          MCQUEEN           Excuse me.                                  McQueen disappears into the press crowd.                                                  PRESS LIAISON           No, no, where are you going?           Please, Mr. McQueen!                                  McQueen pushes through the press.                                                  MCQUEEN           Scusi. Mater! Scusi...                                  McQueen tracks the tow hook, gets closer. He pushes through          the last few vehicles ---                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, I'm so glad to see you. I'm           so sorr ---                                  It's NOT MATER. It's IVAN, the Hugo Thug's tow truck.                                   IVAN THE TOW TRUCK           Lightning McQueen! I am a huge fan.                                                  MCQUEEN                          (CONFUSED)           Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard---                                   IVAN THE TOW TRUCK           Yes, but that was me. I said, "You           killed out there today." You're           the best.                                                  MCQUEEN           What? Oh. I mean, thanks.                                                  PRESS LIAISON           Right this way, signore ---                                  Now the Press Liaison and his assistants are pushing McQueen          back in the other direction ---                                                  MCQUEEN           (as he's pulled away)           I really thought I heard my friend.                                  As he's pulled away, press and onlookers start to come          between him and Ivan, who hasn't moved.           99.                                                           IVAN THE TOW TRUCK                          (TO MCQUEEN)           In England you'll be finished. At           the finish line.                                  Ivan is now obscured again.                                                  MCQUEEN           Wait, what?                                  The ITALIAN PRESS being to swarm.                                                  PRESS LIAISON           Please, the world press is waiting.           You come with me, please.                                  McQueen is pulled back ---                                  EXT. STREET - PORTO CORSA - MOMENTS LATER                                  --- just as Mater, now BOUND and with HIS MOUTH TAPED, is          pulled away and thrown into the back of a transport vehicle.          He lands hard on his side, spits out his TAPE.                                                  MATER           Let me go!                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           You actually care about that race           car. A pity you didn't warn him in           time.                                  As the doors close on Mater --- PHHHHHSSSSSSTTTTTTT! A          thick, noxious gas starts to fill the truck.                                  On MATER as the knockout gas works its magic. HIS EYES CLOSE.                          CUT TO:                                  BLACK SCREEN.                                   MATER (V.O.)           Idiot? Is that how you see me?                                   FINN (V.O.)           That's how everyone sees you. I           tell you, that's the genius of it.                                  FADE IN on Mater, back at the Casino, eyeing his reflection          in the glass window. It's the same moment from before except          now we are watching it from a DETACHED, FLOATING PERSPECTIVE.           100.                                                           FINN (OVER RADIO)           No one realizes they're being           fooled because they're too busy           laughing at the fool.                                  - IN THE KABUKI THEATER IN JAPAN - Again, from before. Mater          makes a spectacle of himself, WHOOPING AND HOLLERING in the          stands with the face paint on.                                                  MATER           Domo arigato!                                  McQueen, Fillmore, Guido, Luigi, Sarge and patrons eye Mater,          embarrassed and angry.                                  - IN THE JAPANESE MUSEUM - The moment of Mater banging on the          Zen rock garden's glass. Except that now we see all sorts of          disappointed and eyebrow raising reactions.                                                  MATER           You done good! You got all the           leaves!                                                  JEFF GORVETTE           Check out that tow truck.                                                  LEWIS HAMILTON           I wonder who that guy's with?                                                  MCQUEEN                          (HUMILIATED)           Will you guys excuse me just for           one little second?                                  We now REVEAL that this FLOATING, THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE is          MATER. He's INSIDE his past, watching it from others' points          of view. He doesn't like what he sees.                                  - ON MATER, now at the sushi bar.                                                  MATER           Now that's a scoop of ice cream!                                  Mater swallows the wasabi with one big bite. He SCREAMS! The          sushi bar patrons blanch with revulsion at his wail.                                  - ON THE FOUNTAIN, as Mater peels into full view of everyone          else at the party. As Mater laps up water from a fountain:                                                  MCQUEEN                          (EMBARRASSED)           Mater?!           101.                                                          ALL THE RACERS, with FRANCESCO front and center, guffaw at          Mater.                                  - On MCQUEEN, now scolding Mater moments later.                                                  MATER           I never leak oil. Never.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, you have to get a hold of           yourself. You're making a scene!                                  - IN MCQUEEN'S PIT GARAGE, after the Japanese race.                                                  MATER           Wait a minute. I didn't screw you           up, did I?                                                  MCQUEEN           I lost the race because of you!                                                  MATER           Maybe if I talked to somebody, or---                                                  MCQUEEN           I don't need your help. I don't           want your help!                                  - Now BACK AT THE PARTY, a moment we didn't see before but          which presumably happened. Mater is BANGING a ceremonial          GONG, to the horror of Japanese guests.                                                  MATER           Bang a gong, get it on!                                  GONNNNNNG!!! ---                                  On the PARTYGOERS, RACE CARS, PARTY STAFF - they're all          laughing at Mater as McQueen's final words blend in, making a                         DISSATISFIED CACOPHONY                                                  MCQUEEN           Listen, this isn't Radiator           Springs. This is exactly why I           don't bring you along to these           things!                                  Off the GONG at the party ---                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - DAY                                  --- to the GONG of a CLOCK.                                  CLOSE ON MATER as he OPENS HIS EYES.           102.                                                          All around him, all he sees are GIANT PIECES OF MECHANIZED          CLOCKWORK.                                  HOLLEY and FINN are here too, strapped bumper to bumper in          the divots of large clock movements.                                                  MATER           Holley! Finn! Where are we?                                                  FINN           We're in London, Mater. Inside Big           Bentley.                                  EXT. BIG BENTLEY - CONTINUOUS                                  The BIG HAND finishes ADVANCING one minute. It's 3 PM.                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - CONTINUOUS                                  Suddenly Mater DROPS QUICKLY down toward ---                                  --- whirring, scary machinery.                                                  MATER           Woaaaah! ---                                  WHAP! The chain yanks to a STOP.                                  Mater, instead of being 30 feet from death, is now 20.                                  Finn and Holley are only a few clicks closer to being crushed          themselves. The clock ticks to 3:01.                                                  MATER           This... this is all my fault.                                                  FINN           Don't be a fool, Mater.                                                  MATER           But I am, remember? You said so.                                                  FINN           When did I... Oh. Mater, I was           complimenting you on what a good           spy you are.                                                  MATER           I'm not a spy!                                  This echoes throughout the clock.           103.                                                                          MATER           I've been trying to tell you that           the whole time. I really am just a           tow truck.                                  Finn and Holley take this in.                                                  HOLLEY           Finn, he's not joking.                                                  FINN           I know.                                                  MATER           You were right, Finn. I'm a fool.           And what's happened to McQueen is           `cause I'm such a big one. This is           all my fault.                                  GREM and ACER arrive on a lift, roll into view on a catwalk.                                                  GREM           Good, you're up!                                                  ACER           And just in time!                                                  GREM           Professor Z wanted you to have a           front row seat for the death of           Lightning McQueen.                                                  MATER                          (HOPEFUL)           He's still alive?                                  Acer whips a sheet away, revealing the WGP CAMERA, turns it          toward the clock face.                                                  ACER           Not for much longer.                                  He pushes the camera through an open small window, turns it          toward the course. Mater DROPS down again ---                                  FINN and HOLLEY CLICK FORWARD.                                  EXT. LONDON - DAY                                  Big Bentley's big hand CLICKS ahead another minute. But we're          a bit farther away from it than before.                                   SALLY (O.S.)           We came as soon as you called.           104.                                                          INT. MCQUEEN'S PIT - LONDON                                  Sally, flanked by Red, Flo and Ramone, are in front of ----                                  --- McQueen and the rest of the team.                                                  MCQUEEN           I called to talk to Mater. It never           occurred to me that he wouldn't be           there.                                                  RAMONE           Sheriff is talking to Scotland Yard           right now.                                                  FLO           And Sarge is in touch with his           friends in the British military.                                                  SALLY           You just need to focus on the race.                                                  MCQUEEN           I know, but Sal, with everything           going on I'm not sure I should---                                  A HORN O.S. Someone's entering the pit. Everyone parts,          revealing MILES AXLEROD.                                                  MCQUEEN           Sir Axlerod.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           I'm sorry to interrupt.                                                  MCQUEEN           No, no, it's all right.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           I just wanted to come down here and           personally thank you. Because after           Italy, I was finished. And then you           gave me one last shot.                                                  MCQUEEN           Listen, I ---                                                  MILES AXLEROD           And I probably shouldn't be saying           this at all but... I hope you win           today. Show the world that they've           been wrong about Allinol.                                  McQueen takes this in. He looks at Sally.           105.                                                                          SALLY           Mater would want you to race.                                                  MCQUEEN           All right. For Mater.                                  EXT. THE STARTING GRID - MOMENTS LATER                                  TIRES SQUEAL ---                                  MCQUEEN, FRANCESCO and the other racers PEEL OUT ---                                  We PAN UP to reveal the LEMONHEADS watching from a VIP box.                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - LONDON - DAY                                  McQueen leads Francesco as they approach Big Bentley...                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - LONDON - CONTINUOUS                                                  GREM           Here he comes!                                  Grem turns up the juice to the HIGHEST, DEATH-INDUCING LEVEL.                                  Holley and Finn watch, helpless. Mater closes his eyes.                                  Grem ZAPS MCQUEEN.                                  EXT. RACE COURSE - LONDON                                  McQueen SPEEDS PAST Big Bentley, unharmed. Oblivious to what          was supposed to have just happened.                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - LONDON                                  Zundapp suddenly SQUAWKS over the radio.                                   PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP (OVER RADIO)           What happened!?                                                  GREM           I don't know, Professor.                                                  ACER           What did you do?                                                  GREM                          (TO ACER)           I didn't do nothin'. Shh! I'm           talking to the Professor---                                  They're all talking at once and for a moment we cannot          understand what is being said.           106.                                                                          ACER           You broke it.                                                  GREM           Quiet!                          (INTO RADIO)           I understand, sir. Yes.                                  Grem hangs up.                                                  ACER           What'd he say?                                                  GREM           We go to the backup plan.                                                  MATER           Backup plan??                                                  GREM           We snuck a bomb in McQueen's pit!                                                  ACER           The next time he makes a stop,           instead of saying "ka-chow," he's           gonna go "ka-boom"!                                  They LAUGH. Mater shudders, upset.                                                  GREM           Don't feel bad, tow truck. You           couldn't have saved him.                                                  ACER           Oh, wait. You could have!                                  Grem and Acer laugh. As they board the elevator:                                                  MATER           Dadgum lemons.                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  Suddenly, Mater's GATLING GUNS rotate out again - a surprise          to Mater. But they SPIN IN PLACE, empty.                                  Grem and Acer just laugh more.                                                  GREM           What, you didn't think we'd take           your bullets?                                  Mater NOTICES SOMETHING.           107.                                                          CLOSE ON WHAT MATER SEES: A small piece of his ropes have          been shaved away by the Gatling.                                  He carefully rotates his guns BACK IN, pretending like he's          seen nothing.                                                  ACER           That's right! You got nothin'.                                                  GREM           (as the elevator descends)           Who's the lemon now, huh?                                  They're GONE.                                                  FINN           Nice try, Mater.                                                  MATER           Dadgum!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER                          REQUEST ACK-                                  The guns ROTATE OUT AGAIN, SPIN. Mater watches as the          spinning barrels SLICE INTO the ropes, do some damage.                                                  MATER           Dadgum! Dadgum! Dadgum!                                  The COMPUTER responds with each "dadgum." The barrels          continue to SPIN, CUTTING THROUGH the ropes.                                                  MATER                          DADGUMDADGUMDADGUMDADGUM ---                                  PING! The ropes BREAK AWAY and Mater FALLS --- right toward          the whirring machinery!                                                  HOLLEY           Mater!                                  Mater QUICKLY WHIPS his tow cable around, hooks a pipe and          tosses himself to the ramp with a heavy THUD. He doesn't                         HESITATE:                                                  MATER           I gotta get you all out of there!                                                  FINN           There's no time. McQueen needs your           help, Mater.           108.                                                                          MATER           But I can't, I'm just a tow truck.                                                  FINN           It's up to you. Go to the pits and           get everyone out. You can do that.                                                  MATER           What about you guys?                                                  FINN           We'll be okay.                                                  HOLLEY           Go and get some more dents, Mater.                                  EXT. BIG BENTLEY - LONDON                                  Mater SPEEDS out the front door, a bat out of hell ---                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - LONDON - SAME                                  On Finn and Holley, now closer to death.                                                  HOLLEY           So we'll be "okay"? Really?                                                  FINN           He wouldn't have left if I'd told           him the truth.           (re: his death trap)           Being killed by a clock. Gives a           whole new meaning to "your time has           come."                                  At this mention Holley seems to perk up, gets an idea.                                                  HOLLEY           Time. That's it!                                  She spies a GEARBOX below them, at least 20 feet down. Holley          FIRES HER ELECTROSHOCKERS ---                                  --- but they miss their target. She recoils them back.                                                  FINN           What are you doing?                                                  HOLLEY           Trying to turn back time. If I can           just reverse the polarity...                                  She FIRES them again. Direct hit!           109.                                                          Holley JUICES the gearbox with HIGH VOLTAGE. The CLOCK STOPS.          It reverses itself.                                  Finn and Holley's wheel now rotates AWAY from danger.                                                  FINN           Good job! Quick thinking, Holley!                                  EXT. LONDON - CONTINUOUS                                  BIG BENTLEY, visible from street level, now moves BACKWARDS.          Fast. CRANE DOWN TO ---                                  --- Mater, speeding toward the track, unaware.                                                  MATER           What's everybody on the wrong side           of the road for?!                                  INT. BIG BENTLEY - CONTINUOUS                                  Finn and Holley are now moving in the opposite direction,          toward ANOTHER GEAR! And it's going MUCH FASTER. They're          seconds from a crushing death...                                                  HOLLEY           Oh no!                                                  FINN           Drive!                                  They both DRIVE, fast as they can with FULL FORCE ---                                                  FINN           Burn rubber!!                                  They drive HARDER, separating bumpers with just enough room          for the descending gear to SNAP THEIR ROPES!                                  Their tires spinning, they both LAUNCH off in opposite          directions, LAND HARD on opposing platforms. As Finn squeals          around to Holley's side of the clock:                                                  FINN           We've got to get to the course.           Calculate the fastest way to ---                                  Holley pops WINGS out of her side.                                                  HOLLEY           Done.           110.                                                                          FINN                          (IMPRESSED)           Miss Shiftwell.                                                  HOLLEY           They're standard issue now.                                                  FINN           You kids get all the good hardware.                                  They turn to leave when they STOP, see SOMETHING. It's an AIR          FILTER on the ground.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh no. That's Mater's.                                                  FINN           I knew his escape was too easy.                                  EXT. BIG BENTLEY - LONDON                                  Finn BURSTS out the front doors of Big Bentley, speeds off as          HOLLEY SMASHES through the clock face, careens into view          flying over the traffic ---                                  INT. PIT ROW - TRACK SIDE - DAY                                  Mater bursts through the security gate with aplomb, tears          through the pits and stops at MCQUEEN'S.                                                  LUIGI           Mater!                                                  MATER           Everybody get out! Get out now!           Y'all gotta get out the pits!                                  The ENTIRE RADIATOR SPRINGS GANG is here.                                                  MATER           Hey, what are you guys doing here?                                                  SALLY           We're here because of you, Mater.                                                  FLO           Is everything okay?                                                  MATER           No! Everything's not okay! There's           a bomb in here! Y'all gotta get           out! Now!           111.                                                                          EVERYONE           - A bomb? - Huh? - Woah.                                   FINN (OVER RADIO)           Mater!                                   MATER (INTO RADIO)           Finn! You're okay!                                  EXT. LONDON STREETS - CONTINUOUS                                                  FINN           Mater, listen to me. The bomb is on           you.                                  ON HIS REARVIEW DISPLAY: We can see that a BOMB has been          detected, anchored to Mater's air filter.                                                  FINN           They knew you'd try to help           McQueen. When we were knocked out           they planted it in your air filter.                                  INT. MCQUEEN'S PIT - CONTINUOUS                                  Mater SNORTS, blowing his air filter cover off. Cross-eyed,          Mater sees the explosive device attached to him. He looks up:                                  An ALLINOL CONTAINER hangs ominously over his head.                                                  MATER           Uh-oh.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater! There you are!                                  Mater turns. McQueen enters Pit Row, 100 yards away and          closing in FAST.                                                  MATER           Stop right there!                                                  MCQUEEN           Oh man, I've been so worried about           you!                          CUT TO:                                  The view of this scene through the window of a luxury box.          Reveal Zundapp in the window's reflection. He's watching from          inside. He's poised to push a DETONATOR BUTTON.                                  As Zundapp's front tire approaches the detonator ---           112.                                                          INT. MCQUEEN'S PIT - CONTINUOUS                                                  MATER           Don't come any closer!                                                  MCQUEEN           Are you okay?                                                  MATER           No, I'm not okay. Stay away from           me!!                                  Mater PEELS OUT BACKWARDS, out onto the track.                                                  MCQUEEN           No, wait. Wait!                          CUT TO:                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP - He hesitates, can't believe it.                                  TV FOOTAGE OF MCQUEEN CHASING MATER                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Hold everything. A tow truck has           just raced onto the track. And he's           driving backwards!                                  IN MCQUEEN'S PIT                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, wait!                                  He breezes right through his pit, goes after Mater.                                   DAVID HOBBSCAP (V.O.)           Normally an emergency vehicle on           the track means there's been an           accident.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           Wait, wait. Lightning McQueen is           chasing him!                                  EXT. TRACK - DAY                                  Mater drives up the track. McQueen gains, fast. Because          Mater's going backwards, they're face-to-face (but still with          some distance between them).                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, wait!           113.                                                                          MATER           Stay back! If you get close to me,           you gonna get hurt real bad!                                                  MCQUEEN           I know I made you feel that way           before, but none of that matters           because we're best friends!                          CUT TO:                                  TV FOOTAGE OF MCQUEEN CHASING MATER                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           And McQueen seems to be having a           conversation with the tow truck!                                   DARRELL CARTRIP (V.O.)           I don't know who that truck is,           Brent. But I'll tell you what, he's           gotta be the world's best backwards           driver.                                  REVEAL ZUNDAPP is watching this footage from his luxury box.          The closer McQueen gets to Mater the farther his tire ROLLS          onto the detonator. But he holds back ever so slightly so as          not to jump the gun.                                  ON THE TRACK - McQueen gains on Mater.                                                  MATER           McQueen, you don't get it. I'm the           bomb!                                                  MCQUEEN           Yes, Mater! You are the bomb!           That's what I'm trying to say here.           You've always been the bomb! And           you'll always be the bomb.                                                  MATER           Stay away!                                                  MCQUEEN           No! Never!                                  ON ZUNDAPP. He watches as McQueen SPEEDS UP.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Almost there...                                  ON MCQUEEN. He's had enough screwing around. Here he comes.                                                  MCQUEEN           I'm not...letting you...           114.                                                          He's going to catch him now.                                                  MCQUEEN           ...get away again!                                  McQueen JUMPS FORWARD, in an attempt to grab Mater's HOOK ---                                                  MATER                          (TO HIMSELF)           Gotta keep away from McQueen.                                  McQueen hooks Mater with his bumper JUST AS ---                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  TURBINE ROCKETS slide out of Mater.                                                  MCQUEEN           Oh my gosh!                                  BAWHOOOOOOM!!!!! Mater JOLTS forward with a rocket blast and          disappears, taking McQueen with him.                                  ON ZUNDAPP. He now freely PUSHES the detonator, but it says          "OUT OF RANGE."                                  Zundapp can't believe it. He FLIPS OUT.                                  FARTHER UP THE TRACK - Francesco speeds along. ZHWAAAAAP!!!          Mater and McQueen ZING PAST HIM with a RED BLUR.                                                  FRANCESCO           What is happening? It's a bad           dream.                                  NOW EVEN FARTHER UP THE TRACK - Mater takes a turn, SMASHES          THROUGH A FENCE and skids around a corner out of sight. A          white, smoky JET TRAIL is all that remains.                                  IN MCQUEEN'S PIT - All of Radiator Springs watches the          television monitors, dumbfounded.                                   BRENT MUSTANGBURGER (V.O.)           And Lightning McQueen just blasted           away, hooked to the now rocket-           propelled tow truck.                          CUT TO:                                  EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - DAY                                  Overhead P.O.V.: Mater and McQueen swerve through the          streets.           115.                                                          INT. LUXURY BOX - CONTINUOUS                                  Zundapp is still furiously hitting the button as Holley drops          into view just beyond the glass.                                  Freaked, Zundapp does a 180 and SMASHES out a plate glass          window, lands on a ridiculously large balloon tethered to the          ground, and speeds off ---                                  INT. ADJACENT LUXURY BOX - CONTINUOUS                                  The LEMONHEADS watch, baffled, as Zundapp drives away.                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           The Professor's on the run.                                                  TUBBS PACER           Someone's gotta get McQueen.                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           Get McQueen!!                                  Grem and Acer are already out the door ---                                  EXT. SIDE STREET - SAME                                  Finn speeds into view, in time to see Zundapp turn a corner          out of sight.                                                  FINN           Holley. I'll get Zundapp, you help           Mater.                                  EXT. TRACK - SAME                                  Holley, still in the air, turns ---                                                  HOLLEY           Got it!                                  FARTHER UP THE TRACK - Holley THUNDERS past Francesco and out          of sight.                                                  FRANCESCO           What is happening?!                                  EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - SAME                                  Finn screams around a corner, sees ---                                  --- Professor Zundapp, speeding toward docks along the Thames          where a COMBAT SHIP waits.           116.                                                                          COMBAT SHIP           Hurry, Professor!                                  ON ZUNDAPP - With Finn gaining fast, he accelerates. Suddenly          --- WHAP!                                  He's been TETHERED by Finn with tensile cables now attached          to his rear end. Zundapp SCREAMS like a little girl.                                                  FINN           Do you really think I'm going to           let you float away, Professor?                                  Finn reels him in. Zundapp spins his wheels, caught.                                  Suddenly Zundapp miraculously, inconceivably, GAINS TRACTION!          Now it's FINN'S WHEELS that are spinning.                                  ON THE COMBAT SHIP - the ELECTROMAGNET has been turned          outward and switched on. He's PULLING ZUNDAPP AND FINN IN          with the magnetic force. He pulls out a laser, TARGETS it at          Finn's windshield.                          CUT TO:                                  EXT. LONDON STREETS - SAME                                  Mater, still towing McQueen, rockets around a corner, zips          down another street ---                                                  MATER           McQueen, let go!                                                  MCQUEEN           Never!                                  They pass a Gremlin with a headset.                                  ON GREM AND ACER - Down another side street. They get this          message, take off in the opposite direction.                                   CUT BACK TO:                                  EXT. DOCKS NEAR THE THAMES - CONTINUOUS                                  FINN, tires squealing, loses more and more ground to the          boat. Zundapp, the "rope" in this tug-of-war, buckles under          the tension.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Give it up, McMissile!                                  Finn releases a mess of bullets, grenades, and other weaponry          into the air ---           117.                                                          THE MAGNET SUCKS it in quickly like a black hole ---                                  THUNK! It all sticks to the magnet, right next to Finn's          bullets. They're BOMBS, GRENADES, ROCKETS and one little          detonator with a flashing, beeping light.                                  Off the boat's RXN ---                          CUT TO:                                  ANOTHER PART OF LONDON, AT STREET LEVEL                                  KA-BOOOOOOM! A distant explosion (miles away) festoons into          the air, visible over the rooftops. Holley suddenly WINGS          into view. She sees ---                                  Mater and McQueen, speeding up the street.                                                  HOLLEY           Mater, stop!                                                  MATER           No way! You could get hurt!                                  Then she looks over, catches a glimpse of GREM AND ACER,          bearing down on them from a side street. They're going to          broadside Mater and McQueen.                                                  HOLLEY           Oh no.                                  ON MATER AND MCQUEEN - They're not aware of the impending          impact.                                  Holley DROPS FROM THE SKY, hits the pavement, SKIDS into the          path of the AMCs and DEFLECTS THEM. They FLIP OVER Holley,          Finn and McQueen and sail ---                                  --- INTO A PUB ---                                  --- where they skid across the room and SLAM into the bar,          knocking a ROW OF BEER MUGS to the ground.                                  IN THE PUB - MOMENTS LATER                                  Grem and Acer are pulverized by the bar patrons.                                  EXT. LONDON STREET - MOMENTS LATER                                  Holley, McQueen and Mater are now stopped.                                                  HOLLEY           Mater, we've got to get that bomb           off you.           118.                                                          She's already SCANNING the bomb, working away.                                                  MCQUEEN           Bomb?                                                  MATER           Yeah, they strapped it to me to           kill you as a back-up plan.                                                  MCQUEEN           Back-up plan? Mater, who put a bomb           on you?                                   PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP (O.S.)           Ahhhhh!                                  Professor Zundapp suddenly ROLLS to a stop next to (a now          totally freaked) McQueen, entangled in grappling hooks care                         OF ---                                  --- Finn, who has him leashed.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP                          (TO MCQUEEN)           You. Why didn't my death ray kill           you?                                                  MCQUEEN           Death ray?                                                  FINN           Turn off the bomb, Zundapp!                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Are you all so dense? It's voice-           activated. Everything is voice-           activated these days.                                                  MATER           Deactivate! Deactivate!                                   BOMB'S COMPUTER VOICE           Voice denied.                                  The BOMB suddenly TRANSFORMS into a TIME BOMB, now complete          with a countdown mechanism from 4:59... 4:58... Mater GASPS.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Oops. Did I forget to mention that           it can only be disarmed by the one           who activated it?                                  Holley immediately shoves a GUN in Zundapp's grill.           119.                                                                          HOLLEY           Say it!                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP           Deactivate.                                   BOMB'S COMPUTER VOICE           Voice denied.                                  THE BOMB'S TIMER: It loses a full minute! Goes from 4:48 to          3:48 to 3:47... Mater GASPS.                                                  PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP                          (GRINNING)           I am not the one who activated it.           Would anyone else like to try?                                  ZZZZZZATTT! Holley shocks him unconscious.                                                  FINN                          (TO HOLLEY)           You read my mind.                                                  HOLLEY           He was getting on my nerves.                                                  MCQUEEN           What do we do?                                   VICTOR HUGO (O.S.)           It's very simple.                                  VICTOR HUGO blocks the entrance to a side street. He's          surrounded by Hugo relatives.                                                  VICTOR HUGO           You blow up.                                  The four streets surrounding them are now blocked by each of          the Lemonheads and their families.                                                  MCQUEEN                          (TO MATER)           I'm gonna go out on a limb here.           These are the guys that want me           dead, correct?                                                  VLADIMIR TRUNKOV           It's nothing personal.                                                  MATER           (to the Lemons)           Fellers, listen.                          (MORE)           120.                                                  MATER (CONT'D)           I know what you're going through.           Everybody's been laughing at me my           whole life too ---                                  McQueen turns to Mater - he wasn't expecting that.                                  The Lemons all eye each other, considering Mater's words.                                                  MATER           --- but becoming powerful and rich           beyond your wildest dreams ain't           gonna make you feel better.                                   J. CURBY GREMLIN           Yeah, but it's worth a shot.                                  WHOOM!!! He's BROADSIDED by a blast of water from O.S.                                  It's Red! He's sitting outside an underground entrance,          followed by Sally and the rest of the Radiator Springs gang.                                  ALL OUT WAR ensues between the LEMONS, RADIATOR SPRINGS along          with FINN and HOLLEY.                                  FINN attaches his four-way cable hooks to the thugs and          springs high in the air, crushing the four of them together.                                  HOLLEY SPROUTS her wings, and knocks out two cars on her          side.                                  VARIOUS SHOTS OF RADIATOR SPRINGS KICKING BUTT:                                  Guido pulls some LEMON tires off with his air gun. In seconds          he has a stack of lugnuts next to him.                                                  GUIDO           Pit stop.                                  The two Pacers' tires all FALL OFF.                                  Flo hits VLADIMIR TRUNKOV with her high-beams, BLINDING HIM.          Sheriff BOOTS him.                                                  SHERIFF           Not today, boys!                                  Guido pushes away his tireless thug, YELLING AT HIM IN          ITALIAN.                                  Mater KARATE CHOPS lemons, three and four at a time.                                  Ramone SPRAY PAINTS a lemon's windshield.           121.                                                                          TUBBS PACER           Retreat!                                  A few Lemons turn back the way they came. BLOCKING THEIR PATH          are a line of BRITISH MILITARY VEHICLES clad in digital camo,          led by SARGE.                                                  SARGE           Thanks for the help, Corporal.                                                  BRITISH CORPORAL           Anything for one of pop's mates.                                  And in the middle of all of this craziness we CUT TO ---                                  --- MATER. WRENCH BITS are strewn all around him as Guido          tries wrench after wrench to take the bolts off. No dice.          Guido gestures wildly, spits Italian a mile a minute.                                                  MCQUEEN           What's he saying?! What's wrong!?                                                  LUIGI           None of his wrenches fit the bolts!                                  This is a light bulb moment for Mater. He eyes the bolts.                                                  MATER           I get it. I get it! I know what           needs to be done.                                                  MCQUEEN           Then do it!                                                  MATER           What? No, I can't do it. Look,           nobody takes me seriously. I know           that now. This ain't Radiator           Springs.                                                  MCQUEEN           Yes it is.                                  Mater looks at McQueen. It is?                                                  MCQUEEN           You're yourself in Radiator           Springs. Be yourself here. And if           people aren't taking you seriously,           then they need to change. Not you.           I know that, because I was wrong           before. Now you can do this. You're           the bomb.           122.                                                                          MATER           Thanks, buddy.                                                  MCQUEEN           No no no, you're the actual bomb.           Now let's go!                                                  MATER           Oh, right! Hang on!                                  Mater HOOKS McQueen and they're off.                                  They SHOOT PAST FINN, who's in the middle of battling lemons.                                                  FINN           Where's he going?                                  ON MATER AND MCQUEEN - Flying down a side street.                                                  MATER           Computer!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Yes, Agent Mater.                                                  MATER           I need that thing you done before           to get me away from McQueen!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Request acknowledged.                                  The ROCKET THRUSTERS kick in. They head right for a WALL.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater...                                                  MATER           Now I need you to do the chute, the           second kind not the first!                                                  MATER'S COMPUTER           Deploying chute.                                  Mater's chute POPS OPEN, catching air and sending Mater and          McQueen SAILING INTO THE AIR.                                  Mater starts to steer them the direction he wants. He and          McQueen are FLYING OVER LONDON.                                  EXT. BALCONY - BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY                                  The QUEEN, her attendants, assorted dignitaries are here.           123.                                                                          QUEEN           Who's winning the race?                                  Mater and McQueen drop from the sky. They land and skid to a          halt just before the Queen's guards who DRAW THEIR WEAPONS.                                                  QUEEN'S GUARD           Back up! Back away!                                                  QUEEN                          (STAR-STRUCK)           It's Lightning McQueen!                                                  QUEEN'S GUARDS           Get back!                                                  MCQUEEN           No, no, it's okay! Tell them,           Mater. Explain.                                                  MATER           Okay! Somebody's been sabotaging           the racers and hurting the cars and           I know who. Oh wait... Your           Majesty.                                  Mater BOWS to the Queen. In doing so, the TICKING TIME BOMB          angles into view. The clock's at T-minus 1:53.                                                  QUEEN'S GUARDS           - Bomb! - It's a bomb! - Everybody           down! - Look out!                                   FINN (O.S.)           Hold your fire! He can't disarm it!                                  Finn dives onto the platform and rolls between the Queen and          Mater.                                                  FINN           Mater, I don't know what you're           doing but stand down now!                                                  MATER           (aside, to McQueen)           This ain't nothing at all like           Radiator Springs.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, just cut to the chase!                                                  MATER           Okay.           124.                                                          He turns to Miles Axlerod.                                                  MATER           It's him.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           What? Me? You've got to be crazy.                                  Everyone exchanges confused looks, including Finn and Holley.                                                  MATER           I figured it out when I realized           you all attached this ticking time           bomb with Whitworth bolts. The same           bolts that hold together that old           British engine from the photograph.           Holley! Show that picture.                                                  HOLLEY           O-kay...                                  Holley projects the much discussed PHOTO OF THE ENGINE.                                                  MATER           And then I remembered what they say           about old British engines - "If           there ain't no oil under `em, there           ain't no oil in `em."                                                  MILES AXLEROD           What is he talking about?                                                  MATER           It was you leaking oil at the party           in Japan. You just blamed it on me.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           Electric cars don't use oil, you           twit.                                                  MATER           Then you're faking it. You didn't           convert to no electric. We pop that           hood we gonna see that engine from           that picture right there.                                  Mater moves toward Miles Axlerod to pop his hood.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           This lorry's crazy. He's going to           kill us all!                                  Miles Axlerod BACKS UP to the edge of the stage.           125.                                                                          MILES AXLEROD           Stay away!                                                  HOLLEY           But Sir Axlerod created the race,           Mater. Why would he want to hurt           anyone?                                                  MATER           To make Allinol look bad so           everybody'd go back to using oil. I           mean, he said it himself with that           disguised voice.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           "Dee-sguised voice?" What are you           talking about? You're nuts, you           are!                                  The QUEEN'S GUARDS have had ENOUGH. As has the PRINCE.                                                  PRINCE WHEELIAM           This is going nowhere fast. We           really should go, Grandmother.                                                  QUEEN           One moment. I'd like to see where           this is going.                                                  FINN           Mater, he created Allinol.                                                  MATER           Yeah, but what if he found that           huge oil field just as the world           was trying to find something else?                                  Mater sticks his ticking bomb-nose into Miles Axlerod's          grill.                                                  MATER           What if he came up with Allinol           just to make alternative fuel look           bad?                                                  MILES AXLEROD           "What if?" You're basing this on a           "What if"?!                                                  GUARD           Okay, that's it.                                  And the QUEEN'S GUARDS spirit the Queen and Prince Wheeliam          out of there FAST ---           126.                                                                          MILES AXLEROD           Wait! Somebody save me! The lorry's           crazy!                                  Now it's just Miles Axlerod, Mater, McQueen, Finn and Holley.          Miles Axlerod's back tires slip on the edge of the podium as          he is cornered by Mater.                                                  MILES AXLEROD           Keep away, you idiot!                                  00:00:08...                                                  FINN           Mater!                                                  HOLLEY           Mater!                                  00:03...00:02...                                                  MILES AXLEROD           Someone do something!                                  Everyone FLINCHES, DUCKS or DIVES FOR COVER except McQueen,          Mater and Axlerod ---                                                  MILES AXLEROD           You're insane, you are!           Deactivate!!                                  The bomb FREEZES at 00:01.                                   THE BOMB'S COMPUTER VOICE           Bomb deactivated. Have a nice day,           Sir Axlerod.                                  General shock all around. Miles Axlerod realizes what he's          done, looks terrified. Police surround him.                                  Mater FLINGS Miles Axlerod's hood open with his hook,          revealing AN INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE, oil dripping from          all sides. It MATCHES the photo.                                                  FINN           The engine from the photo.                                                  HOLLEY           It's a perfect match!                                                  MILES AXLEROD           How did the tow truck figure it           out?           127.                                                                          MCQUEEN                          (TO MATER)           It's official. You're coming to all           my races from now on.                                                  MATER           Now you're talking!                                  Tire bump.                                  EXT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY                                  A massive crowd packs the adjacent streets and parks.                                  INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY                                  Mater does the requisite "silly faces" in an attempt to break          the composure of a Buckingham Palace Guard. It isn't working.          McQueen approaches.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater, let's go. You're on.                                  INT. QUEEN'S CHAMBER - BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY                                  The Queen sits in attention at the front of the Main          Ballroom. As Mater and McQueen approach:                                                  LORD STEWARD           Your Majesty. May I present for the           investiture of honorary Knighthood           of the British Realm. Tow Mater of           Radiator Springs.                                                  MCQUEEN           Go get `em, buddy.                                  McQueen joins his friends from Radiator Springs. Mater rolls          forward. He bows, as if he's practiced it all day.                                                  QUEEN           I hereby dub thee "Sir Tow Mater."                                  Applause from all around.                                                  MATER                          (LOOKS UP)           "Sir?" Shoot, you can just call me           Mater, Your Majesty. I don't wanna           hear none of this "Sir" business.           By the way, have y'all met each           other? Queen? McQueen. McQueen,           Queen. McQueen? McMissile.                          (MORE)           128.                                                  MATER (CONT'D)           McMissile, McQueen. Queen?           McMissile.                                  He continues introducing everyone as we CUT TO ---                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - DAY                                  The town sign now reads "WELCOME TO RADIATOR SPRINGS - HOME          OF LIGHTNING MCQUEEN AND SIR TOW MATER."                                  EXT. FLO'S - DAY                                  Cars surround Mater and McQueen. The rest of the Radiator          Springs gang is here too, watches. VAN and MINNY are front          and center.                                                  MATER           So there I was: rocket jets going           full blast, McQueen hanging on for           dear life when suddenly them two           nasty lemons come out of nowhere,           guns drawed. We was goners. But           then out of nowhere, this beautiful           spy car swoops in from the sky to           save us!                                                  MINNY           That's a very entertaining story,           young man.                                                  VAN           Oh, Minny, please. Come on, none of           this happened. Rocket jets? Flying           spy cars?                                                  HOLLEY           No, you're quite right. It does           sound a bit far-fetched.                                  The crowd turns, sees HOLLEY, wings out, swooping in. FINN is          right below her, driving up the street.                                                  MATER           Holley! Finn!                                                  HOLLEY           Hello, Mater. It's so nice to see           you again.                                                  MATER           What're you doing here?           129.                                                                          FINN           Our satellites picked up an urgent           communique.                                                  LUIGI           So you got my e-mail.                                                  MATER           Oh, man. Y'all is gonna have a           great time. Everybody! This here's           Finn McMissile. He's a secret           agent.                          (WHISPERS)           Don't tell nobody. And this is           Holley Shiftwell. She's ---                                                  HOLLEY           I'm Mater's girlfriend. It's so           nice to meet you all.                                  Everyone is shocked. Including Mater. Guido's jaw drops.                                                  LUIGI                          (TO MATER)           Guido believe you now.                                                  FLO                          (TO HOLLEY)           Whoa, honey. You got a nasty dent           there.                                  Indeed, Holley still wears the dent from when she saved Mater          from Grem and Acer.                                                  VAN           (already crushing on her)           Was that from when you swooped in           and saved them in London?                                                  MINNY           Van!                                                  VAN           What? I'm just asking.                                                  FLO                          (TO HOLLEY)           Don't you worry, sweet pea. My baby           Ramone can get that fixed up for           you in no time.                                                  RAMONE           Yeah, sure thing. No problemo. Just           let me go get my tools.           130.                                                                          HOLLEY           Oh no no. I'm keeping that dent.           It's way too valuable.                                  Mater takes this in.                                                  LIZZIE           A "valuable" dent? Oh, she's as           crazy as Mater.                                                  MACK           Those two are perfect for each           other.                                                  MCQUEEN           You know, there's one thing I still           don't get. The bad guys hit me with           the beam from the camera, right? So           why didn't I, you know...                                                  MATER           Explode in a fiery inferno?                                                  MCQUEEN           Yeah.                                                  FINN           We couldn't figure that one out           either.                                                  HOLLEY           Our investigation proved that           Allinol was actually gasoline. And           Miles Axlerod engineered it so that           when it got hit by the beam it           would explode.                                                  MCQUEEN           Wait a second. Fillmore, you said           my fuel was safe.                                  McQueen turns to Fillmore. Everyone does.                                                  FILLMORE           If you're implying that I switched           out that rotgut excuse for           alternative fuel with my all-           natural, sustainable, organic           biofuel just because I never           trusted Axlerod, you're dead wrong,           man.                          (RE: SARGE)           It was him.           131.                                                                          SARGE           Once Big Oil, always Big Oil. Man.                                                  FILLMORE           Tree hugger.                                  EXT. MAIN STREET - LATER                                  A banner says "Radiator Springs Grand Prix."                                  SHERIFF rolls up the street.                                                  SHERIFF           The Radiator Springs Grand Prix is           about to begin! All spectators           clear the starting line!                                  MCQUEEN heads up Main Street, other racers following.                                                  LEWIS HAMILTON           Man, I can't wait to get rockin'.           This is gonna be wicked.                                                  JEFF GORVETTE           Yeah, we should do this every year.                                                  MCQUEEN           I just figured, we never found out           who the world's fastest car is.           Plus: no press, no trophy. Just           racing - the way I like it.                                                  FRANCESCO           Francesco likes it like this too.                                  McQueen SEES Sally. He and Francesco approach her.                                                  MCQUEEN           Francesco. I'd like you to meet ---                                                  FRANCESCO           Signorina Sally. It is official:           Lightning McQueen is the luckiest           car in the world.                                                  SALLY                          (SWOONING)           Why, thank you ---                                                  FRANCESCO           Which he will have to be to have a           chance against Francesco today.                                  Francesco turns to leave. As he's moving away:           132.                                                                          FRANCESCO           See you at the finish line, Mc---                                  Francesco STOPS.                                                  FRANCESCO           What is that?                                  McQueen has a new bumper sticker: "Ka-ciao, Francesco."                                                  MCQUEEN           It's just something I had made up           for the occasion.                                                  FRANCESCO           Is good, McQueen. Very funny. It           was funnier when I did it, but           it's very funny. What are you going           to do next? Are you going to take           off your fenders? Try it. You'll           like it.                                  Francesco leaves. We stay with McQueen and Sally.                                                  SALLY           So he's not so good-looking.                                                  MCQUEEN           Yeah. Nice try.                                                  SALLY           I'm serious.                                                  MCQUEEN           That's why I love you, Sally.           (as he leaves)           Wish me luck.                                                  SALLY           You don't need it!                                  He drives off. Flo approaches Sally.                                                  FLO           Mmm-mmm. That Francesco is fine-           looking.                                                  SALLY           And those open wheels.                                                  FLO           I'm gonna have to go get myself           some coolant.           133.                                                          EXT. MAIN STREET - LATER                                  The racers at the starting grid. ON THE TRAFFIC LIGHT in the          center of town. It goes from RED to GREEN!                                  The RACERS SPEED OFF, tearing up main street and out of town,          blazing past tourists ---                                  EXT. WILLY'S BUTTE - DAY                                  As the racers, led by McQueen and Francesco, take the wide,          sweeping turn around Willy's Butte we CRANE UP to see MATER,          FINN, HOLLEY, and the Radiator Springs gang watching.          Everyone CHEERS.                                                  MATER           Go McQueen!! Whoo-hoo!!!                                  Holley gets an alert.                                                  HOLLEY           Finn, time to go. Siddeley's           gassed, geared and ready to fly.                                  Finn starts to back up.                                                  MATER           You're leaving already?                                                  FINN           We've got another mission, Mater.           Just stopped by here to "pick           something up."                                  They both eye Mater, expectantly.                                                  MATER           Something tells me you're not           talking about souvenir bumper           stickers.                                                  FINN           Her Majesty asked for you           personally, Mater.                                                  MATER           But I told you all before. I'm not           a spy.                                                  HOLLEY           We know.           134.                                                                          FINN           Spy or not, you're still the           smartest, most honest chap we've           ever met.                                                  HOLLEY           Don't forget massively charming.                                  Mater looks over at Holley. He looks touched.                                                  MATER           Well, thanks. But as much fun as it           was hanging with y'all, this...                                  He looks over to his friends who watch the race, CHEER          MCQUEEN ON.                                                  MATER           This is home.                                                  HOLLEY           That's alright, we understand. But           I'll be back. You still owe me that           first date.                                                  FINN           If there's ever anything I can do           for you, just let me know.                                                  MATER           Well, I sure appreciate that, thank           you.                          (THINKS)           Actually... there is one thing.                          CUT TO:                                  EXT. RADIATOR SPRINGS - MOMENTS LATER                                  MATER, blazing forward fast.                                                  MATER           Whoo-hoo!!!                                  He ROCKETS FORWARD, through the whole town. In doing so he          GRABS A BROKEN DOWN OTIS, hooking him ---                                                  OTIS           Whoa!!!                                  --- and TOSSING him right into Ramone's.                                   OTIS (O.S.)           Thanks, Mater!           135.                                                          ON THE "RACE TRACK" - Mater flies past ALL the racers,          including Francesco ---                                                  FRANCESCO           Impossible!                                  --- until he approaches MCQUEEN.                                                  MCQUEEN           Mater!?                                                  MATER                          (KEEPING PACE)           Check it out. They let me keep the           rockets!                                                  MCQUEEN           I'll see you at the finish line,           buddy!                                                  MATER           Not if I see you first!                                  McQueen and Mater peel away from the rest of the racers, lead          them off the road and into the dirt for another lap. The two          friends are side by side when we FADE OUT.

[latesthollywoodnews]

Joey King SHAVES HEAD for New Role

Joey King SHAVES HEAD for New Role

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Joey King SHAVES HEAD for New Role, Hollywood Celebrities Anywhere.

Watch Latest Celebrity News, A Wrinkle In Time Latest Story Song, Joey King SHAVES HEAD for New Role.

A Wrinkle In Time Latest Story Song Hollywood Celebrity News and Walt Hollywood Studios Home Entertainment (incorporated as Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Inc. since 1997 and formerly known as Walt Hollywood Telecommunications & Non-Theatrical Company from 1980 to 1987 and eventually Buena Vista Home Video until 1997) is the home video distribution division of The Walt Hollywood Company. Hollywood began distributing videos under its own label in 1980 under the name Walt Hollywood Home Video.

Where is Walt Hollywood buried frozen?

On December 15, 1966, animation legend Walt Hollywood died from complications of lung cancer, for which he had undergone surgery just over a month earlier. A private funeral was held the next day, and on December 17, his body was cremated and interred at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California.

What is the story of Sleeping Beauty?

Filled with jealousy, the evil witch Maleficent (Eleanor Audley) curses Princess Aurora (Mary Costa) to die on her 16th birthday. Thanks to Aurora’s guardian fairies (Verna Felton, Barbara Jo Allen, Barbara Luddy), she only falls into a deep sleep that can be ended with a kiss from her betrothed, Prince Phillip (Bill Shirley). To prevent Phillip from rescuing Aurora, Maleficent kidnaps and imprisons him. The good fairies are the last hope to free Phillip so that he can awaken Aurora.

Who is the president of Hollywoodland?

With Meg’s transition complete, George A. Kalogridis is named president of the Walt Hollywood World Resort, and Michael Colglazier is named president of the Hollywoodland Resort.

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Kissing Booth star Joey King has been changing up her hair A LOT recently, but this time, she went right ahead and shaved it alllll off.

Not gonna lie… we LOVE a girl that’s not afraid to take a beauty risk!

If you guys have been keeping up with Joey King recently (and let’s be real… who hasn’t been?), you know that she’s been having A LOT of fun with her hair. For example, a little over a month ago, she decided that she would go blonde. Sure, that’s not THAT exotic, but trust me… that was only the beginning.

Joey told Allure, QUOTE, “After I was blonde for a little while, before I shaved my head, I got this crazy idea and I just went to the store, got a box of blue hair dye, and my sister dyed my hair blue for me. And then I had my future brother-in-law, just on a whim, cut my bangs for me.”

At the time, no one, including myself, could figure out why a successful actress like Joey wouldn’t just PAY to have her hair done by a professional BUT now that we know she was just planning on shaving it all off anyways, it makes a LOT more sense!

So, what exactly inspired Joey to shave off ALL her hair? A new role, of course! Alongside a photo and video of her shaved head on Instagram, Joey explained that the new ‘do is for her role on Hulu’s The Act, in which she’ll play the character of Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

We know what you’re thinking: Joey was probably SO nervous to shave off all of her hair. Well… you’re wrong! According to Joey, this was her THIRD time shaving her head for a role and she wasn’t nervous at all… not even a little bit!

Joey told Allure, QUOTE, “I’ve never really had an attachment to my hair. I couldn’t care less what happens to it. No part of me was nervous or was second-guessing it.” Wow… I wish I could relate.

Aside from not being nervous to shave her head, Joey also told the mag that she’s TOTALLY digging her new look! She said, QUOTE, “Some days I feel like just throwing on a little mascara, a little bit of dewy highlight, and then some lip gloss and I’m gone. Some days I want to have a wing and nice eye shadow. But it’s honestly just a preference thing because makeup, ESPECIALLY when you have NO hair, is SO fun to play around with.”

That’s not all, though! Joey also added that she thinks EVERY woman should shave their head at LEAST ONCE in their lifetime. Why? Because, according to her, it’s, QUOTE, “very freeing, really fun, and really empowering.” Ugh… why can’t I be that cool?!

Anyways, what do you guys think of Joey’s fresh, new look? Would you ever consider shaving your head? As always, let us know all of your thoughts in the comments section below! Thanks so much for watching! Please click to the right to watch another new video and don’t forget to subscribe to our channels. I’m your host Allene Abrahamian and you can catch me on Instagram @alleneinwonderland. I’ll see you next time!

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Walt Hollywood created a short film entitled Alice’s Wonderland, which featured child actress Virginia Davis interacting with animated characters. After the bankruptcy in 1923 of his previous firm, Laugh-O-Gram Studios, Hollywood moved to Hollywood to join his brother, Roy O. Hollywood. Film distributor Margaret J. Winkler of M.J. Winkler Productions contacted Hollywood with plans to distribute a whole series of Alice Comedies purchased for $1,500 per reel with Hollywood as a production partner. Walt and Roy Hollywood formed Hollywood Brothers Cartoon Studio that same year. More animated films followed after Alice. In January 1926, with the completion of the Hollywood studio on Hyperion Street, the Hollywood Brothers Studio’s name was changed to the Walt Hollywood Studio. Hollywood Celebrities Watch Online, Joey King SHAVES HEAD for New Role.

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[how2to18]

IN HIS 2004 GQ essay “Upon This Rock,” about an excursion to the annual Creation Festival of Christian music and worship in central Pennsylvania, John Jeremiah Sullivan describes his take on the difference between rock music that happens to be made by Christians and “Christian rock” music:

Christian rock is a genre that exists to edify and make money off evangelical Christians. It’s message music for listeners who know the message cold, and, what’s more, it operates under a perceived responsibility — one the artists embrace — to “reach people.” As such, it rewards both obviousness and maximum palatability. […] A Christian band, on the other hand, is just a band that has more than one Christian in it.

Assuming this is accurate and supposing it is applicable to other art forms, what are the implications for Christians looking to make an impact on (or through) popular (or high) culture? For individuals with the talent and gumption to look at an entire pantheon of artists and try to force their way among them, circumscribing their output entirely to a genre that “rewards both obviousness and maximum palatability” is clearly not the best route. According to Sullivan, “Talent tends to come hand in hand with a certain base level of subtlety.”

Denis Johnson, who died earlier this year, called himself a Christian, although he once told David Amsden of New York, “I’m sure you could find any number of Christians who could assure me that I’m going to hell.” To say Denis was a great writer is not controversial. There have been many eulogies and appreciations of his work written in the months since his death, and while many allude, in a cursory way, to the spiritual character of his writing, none that I’ve seen explore the details of the realities he described or questions he posed, much less Denis’s personal beliefs and religious experiences. The closest is Will Blythe’s moving New York Times Book Review essay “A Lot Like Prayer: Remembering Denis Johnson,” and in the course of writing this I encountered Justin Taylor’s insightful “Gonna Try for the Kingdom if I Can” in n+1.

I had the incredible good fortune to be Denis’s friend, and I know some of his beliefs concerning God and religion. I observed him practicing his spiritual disciplines, which included prayer and daily readings of Alcoholics Anonymous, The Bible, and A Course In Miracles. I am a massive fan of his writing. I believe Denis’s faith suffuses his writings, although I could be wrong about the ways the two correlate. While Denis was incredibly, and famously, open and vulnerable among his friends and acquaintances, I suspect this had the unintended effect of pushing the unknowable parts of his identity even deeper. I would hate for any reader to think I were trying to shoehorn Denis’s work into a literary genre akin to Christian rock music, but my hope is that readers will be edified through my sharing, just as I have been by Denis’s life and work.

Denis believed he was personally affected by miracles, that God is supernaturally active in individuals’ lives in profound and unexpected ways. God saved Denis from alcoholism and addiction through Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 Steps. Denis named his Idaho property “Doce Pasos North” and dedicated two of his novels (Angels and Tree of Smoke) to “H. P.,” which, I assume, stands for “Higher Power.” I’m tempted to say that in the firmament of Denis’s beliefs, faith in a Higher Power at work through AA and the 12 Steps is the fixed star. Substance abuse and addiction figure prominently in Denis’s fiction and plays, and he always extends to his characters the possibility of the same grace that he himself experienced.

Getting clean through AA marks the dividing line in Denis’s life. In his 2000 Paris Review essay “Hippies,” he describes his youth as a “criminal hedonist” followed by growth into “a citizen of life with a belief in eternity.” AA meetings provide ritual, prayer, and fellowship that includes the sharing of struggles, confession, and accountability. Denis, who regularly attended meetings as long as I knew him, told me that he hated small talk and that AA meetings spoiled him in this regard — people there only talked about real, personal issues.

He also read Alcoholics Anonymous, the program’s so-called “Big Book,” throughout his sober life. In it, alcoholics working the steps are encouraged to use whichever religious tradition, if any, works for them — “We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals” — while the foreword to the Second Edition (1955) claims that AA includes “Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Hindus, and a sprinkling of Muslims and Buddhists.”

I believe this perspective colored Denis’s thinking on religion. The last time I visited him, in 2015, something I said reminded him of an Emo Philips comedy bit that illustrates the absurdity of denominational hair-splitting, and he pulled it up on YouTube to share it with me. Viewed from the perspective of AA, doctrinal disagreements and accusations of heresy can seem like narcissism of small differences and thus suitable subjects for ridicule. This perspective dovetails with that of Denis’s hero Walt Whitman, who says in the introduction to Leaves of Grass, “argue not concerning God.” Denis felt that paying attention to or participating in these disagreements obscured the most important thing about God: He is active in one’s life.

Denis did get more specific in his faith, however. I know from many visits with him that he read the Bible regularly and found great, practical solace in it. The first time we met, in 2006, he told me he was a convert to Catholicism and that he had encountered Jesus during a Cursillo retreat. He said he had not been to Mass in years. I asked him if anything had changed in his faith since he wrote his “Bikers for Jesus” essay (from the 2001 collection Seek: Reports From the Edges of America & Beyond), and he said that nothing had.

“Bikers for Jesus” includes the clearest description in Denis’s oeuvre of his relationship to contemporary American evangelical Christianity. Describing his visit to the Eagle Mountain Motorcycle Rally sponsored by televangelist Kenneth Copeland in the 1990s, Denis writes:

In the heart of someone who might have just stumbled onto this rally, the man from Idaho, let’s say, fifteen years a Christian convert, but one of the airy, sophisticated kind, the whole business is a millstone — if he’s going to Heaven, shouldn’t he be more excited? Is he going to Heaven? In his questions, his doubts, his failure to submit unconditionally, hasn’t he been nothing but a cruiser, a shopper? Impressed with the drama of his own conversion — but as drama, rather than conversion — was he ever really broken? And more important, was he ever really healed?

This questioning of his own faith and sincerity is not surprising in the context of his familiarity with Jesus’s teaching that people will be surprised at the Final Judgment regarding whether they are counted among the saved or the damned (Matthew 25:31–46), and Paul’s teaching that Christians are to work out their salvation “with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

Denis recounts — not uncritically — the messages preached to him and the fellowship he shared with other attendees over the course of three days, and his reaction is one of increasing approval: “The white buckets ride the rows. On the first day the Idaho man put ten dollars in, twenty dollars on the second day. This time it’s a fifty.” The 1992 story collection Jesus’ Son, which is almost universally beloved by worldly literati and was recently hailed as a “modern masterpiece” by John Williams in the New York Times Book Review, was authored by a man who donated money at an event sponsored by the Reverend Kenneth Copeland, one of Earth’s ripest targets for ridicule.

“Bikers for Jesus” also contains details that point to Denis’s willingness to believe in God’s continuing revelation. When Denis encountered people who claimed to be hearing God’s voice, he tried to take them at their word. One particular exchange at Eagle Mountain seems to justify his faith in this approach:

The Idaho man introduces himself to the nearest person in his row, a middle-aged black woman who turns out to be Nancy, from Chicago. “God is saying something,” she says intensely as they shake hands, and won’t let him go, staring into his eyes … “He says you’ve been seeking, and just go ahead, you’re doing fine. He says you got a cross in your back, but that’s healed. And He says be sure and take a pen and a notepad with you, so you can write things down.”

The man turns away, but something about what she’s said strikes him now — more than the coincidence of the pen and the pad and the seeking. “Excuse me,” he says, returning to her. “Nancy, did you say something about my back?”

“You got a cross pinching your right back, down low. But it’s gone now. He fixed it yesterday.”

For four months the Idaho man has been undergoing weekly treatments for a pinched sciatic nerve in his lower right back. It hasn’t occurred to him until this minute that it didn’t bother him last night and hasn’t bothered him all day. “I believe you’re right,” he tells Nancy.

“You didn’t want to ask for healing,” she says, “but He healed you anyway.”

“Do these little incidents happen to you very often?”

“Every day.”

While all believers necessarily employ heuristics to address claims of supernatural revelation, Denis’s stance was skewed, more than anyone I have ever met, toward curiosity and the reservation of judgment. He was drawn to claims of miraculous new revelation just as he was drawn to settings of political collapse and anarchy (in Liberia, Somalia, Afghanistan, and elsewhere). He believed his encounter with Nancy was a miracle from God. Denis also visited the Children of the Light at their Agua Caliente commune and recorded their stories of miracles in his essay, “Three Deserts.” This attitude toward the miraculous, that “[m]iracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong,” is actually one of the principles listed in the first chapter of A Course in Miracles.

In “Hippies,” Denis references a friend of his, “Mike O,” who at the Rainbow Gathering dispenses “information about the Course in Miracles, a heretic sort of gnostic brand of Christian thinking that doesn’t recognize the existence of evil and whose sacred text is mostly in iambic pentameter.” I met the famous back-to-nature hippie “Barefoot” Mike Oehler of Idaho in 2006, and after I overheard him speaking with Denis about the Course I bought a copy and attempted to read it. When I saw Denis in 2008, I told him I had not been able to make much sense of the book, and he sympathized. He told me he only read the Workbook section, and he gave me a copy of what he called the “Reader’s Digest version” of the Course: a slim paperback with cartoon illustrations called Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD.

A Course in Miracles, which resembles a Bible, is purportedly a divinely inspired text that failed to fully convince the person who wrote most of it down. Beginning in the mid-1960s and over the course of several years, psychologist Helen Schucman heard an inner voice and transcribed what it said with the help and encouragement of her colleague Bill Thetford. The voice claims to be that of Jesus Christ, who teaches that the world we perceive is an illusion and that the way to return to God is through love and forgiveness.

The Course also refers to a concept called the “holy instant.” I don’t claim to understand it, but to the extent that the concept describes how much import can be packed into a moment of subjective experience, I see a relationship between it and Denis’s writing. Some of the most moving and memorable passages in Denis’s stories deal with radical subjectivity and time slowing down, especially in moments on the border between life and death, and how these moments reorder the characters’ priorities: Bill Houston’s death in the gas chamber in Angels (1983); Grandmother Wright floating endlessly in the sea after fleeing the fall of Saigon in Fiskadoro (1985); Nelson Fairchild Jr. making his way, bleeding, down to the beach of the Lost Coast in Already Dead (1997).

There are other echoes of the Course in Denis’s books. The narrator of The Stars at Noon (1986), a sometime-prostitute who insists that Nicaragua in the year 1984 is Hell itself, states: “Anger is fear. Lust is fear. Grief, excitement, weariness are fear — just feel down far enough, look hard enough.” This thought aligns with the Course, which simplifies all human experience to two reactions or choices: love or fear. There are probably more such examples, but it would be difficult in most cases to determine whether Denis’s use of metaphysical concepts and vocabulary springs from the Course or from orthodox Christianity, as there is substantial overlap.

Did Denis believe in the Course? All I know is that he used it. I think of his use of it in the context of his remark to David Amsden noted earlier — it could be that Denis did not want people categorizing him, boxing him in, from either within or without Christianity, with all the judgment and baggage it carries in our culture. Denis was a storyteller fascinated by the question of who has authority in spiritual matters, but he didn’t want to force a set of answers on his readers. He was not a theologian, but he knew what worked for him.

Denis was a Bob Dylan fan (he was the first person I ever heard suggest that Dylan deserved the Nobel Prize in Literature), and it may be that in living out his faith he was reacting to or mirroring Dylan’s conversion experience. A final point regarding Denis’s use of the Course: it is something I am personally grateful for, because meeting me — a stranger who approached him at a gala — presented him and his wonderful wife Cindy with an occasion to choose either love or fear, and they welcomed me and offered me friendship without reservation. This seems like a miracle to me, looking back.

When I first traveled to Northern Idaho and met with Denis, he was still writing Tree of Smoke. The first night I stayed at Doce Pasos North, I slept on a sofa bed in Denis’s office with a draft of the novel sitting next to me in a cardboard box. I noticed Denis had handwritten notes taped up by his desk. One was from Emerson: “God will not have his work made manifest by cowards — SELF RELIANCE.” Another said this:

If I’m some kind of James Hampton and this is some kind of Throne of the Third Heaven, if it’s two thousand pages and two hundred years, SO BE IT.

A photo of the Throne, Hampton’s midcentury religious art assemblage, was taped up underneath. Readers of Denis’s poetry will not be surprised at this reference to Hampton’s famous work; Denis’s collected poetry was published in 1995 under the title The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations Millennium General Assembly, and it includes his poem of the same name, which describes a visit Denis made to the Throne with the painter Sam Messer:

Sam and I drove up from Key West, Florida, Visited James Hampton’s birthplace in South Carolina, And saw The Throne At The National Museum of American Art in Washington. It was in a big room. I couldn’t take it all in, And I was a little frightened. I left and came back home to Massachusetts. I’m glad The Throne exists: My days are better for it, and I feel Something that makes me know my life is real To think he died unknown and without a friend, But this feeling isn’t sorrow. I was his friend As I looked at and was looked at by the rushing-together parts Of this vision of someone who was probably insane Growing brighter and brighter like a forest after a rain — And if you look at the leaves of a forest, At its dirt and its heights, the stuttering mystic Replication, the blithering symmetry, You’ll go crazy, too. If you look at the city And its spilled wine And broken glass, its spilled and broken people and hearts, You’ll go crazy. If you stand In the world you’ll go out of your mind. But it’s all right, What happened to him. I can, now That he doesn’t have to, Accept it.

It’s not hard to imagine the Throne as a sort of visual analogue to A Course in Miracles. Both Hampton and Schucman had private conversations with God, and the message imparted to each was “FEAR NOT,” the highest words written on the Throne.

Denis appreciated, sought out, and befriended outsiders, mystics, and misfits, past and present. They included Julian of Norwich, mathematician/philosopher Alfred North Whitehead, and the anonymous author of the 14th-century religious text The Cloud of Unknowing, in addition to Hampton and Schucman. I was blessed to be one of the misfits.

Finally, Denis believed in the power of prayer. In 2007, he told me that he had had an addiction relapse while in Vietnam doing research for Tree of Smoke, and that prayer was what saved him. He and I prayed for one another as we both went through cancer diagnoses and treatments. I was surprised when he died, because he had shared that his treatment for liver cancer was successful. I had thought he was in the clear. I now suspect he was simply adopting a perspective increasingly aligned with the eternal. One of his last emails to me paraphrased the message Julian of Norwich received from God: “All is well, all will be well, all was always going to be well.”

¤

Brian B. Dille recently finished his doctorate in Policy Analysis at Pardee RAND Graduate School in Santa Monica. He now lives in Georgia.

The post Books of Revelation: Christianity and Miracles in the Life and Work of Denis Johnson appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

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[thekimspoblog]

2nd best episode. The first of course being "The Fly"

I love the 4 days out episode so much and from a fandom standpoint it's so funny. Like, first of all, "did you just bring a methlab to the airport?" Then they're shacked up in the RV together for four days, taking shifts cooking meth. Walt teases Jesse about him only bringing junk food. He even tries a funyun and hates it. They watch the sunset and pee side by side for whatever reason. When they're done with cooking Jesse suggests they treat themselves to a motel room and a shower and a bed (singular) so Walt has to tell him to get "separate rooms". Then they get stranded and bicker like an old married couple. It's cold af in the night. Walt has to wear Jesse's clothes and he looks absolutely ridiculous. They don't showcase the night but it's a perfect scenario for huddling for warmth. They spend the next day in various states of despair and thinking about dying - Walt coughs up blood. And when all hope is lost we get a scene which the show creator lovingly refers to as a "post-coital scene". It mirrors Walt being in bed with his wife earlier in the same episode. Jesse comes up with the idea that saves their asses and doesn't even realize it. He also says "aaaah, wire", and that moment alone is emmy worthy. And just like that they fix it and drive off to live happily ever after or whatever (except there's still that motel they have to get to).

All in all 10/10 episode and a fandom staple with untapped potential.