#like the trike already looks fucking amazing on pictures but having it in hand is just. WOW.

[death-and-ruin]

My Haolonggood Triceratops finally arrived (thanks DHL for causing problems ... again) and it is gorgeous. And BIG! What a beautiful big chungus he is.

The PNSO Lufengosaurus also arrived, and I knew it was gonna be on the smaller side, but the head really is so ridiculously tiny! It's smaller than my fingertip, and I have really small hands!

Will post pictures later, when the light is better.

[soup-of-words]

28th april

It wasn’t a great event. It was actually trashy and people are scattered just everywhere. You and I decided to get a drink, (of course a bottle of beer) and so we bought. It was kind of a hassle, the cap wasn’t opened yet. Too tired to get it popped in the store so we decided to pop the cap on our own. at some broken steel pipe we did, and that’s how I got the bottle cap in my treasure chest (box full of weird stuff that I keep). Oh and the bottle broke too. We looked for straw until we got one and sat in front of the Capitol. ‘Twas a neat night, not the event. We talked about stuff, the silly and annoying ones about our exes. And laughed about some hilarious stuff, I can’t remember the things we talked about but yeah I’d treasure them.

After then, there were fireworks. It was shitty too. It’s too short for a show in the sky. It only lasted for a couple of seconds. But it was great. Fireworks. :)

For a short time we watched them play, listen to cringey growling and screams. soon enough, we got bored. decided to sit and just talked again. God knows what we talked about until it’s coming too late. tss How did we even get to that time when we were taunting one another, about going in San Pablo? was it about the bike? yeah, for sure because we were talking about bicycles.

you don’t know how hard-headed I am, and how a  “brave-wanna-be” I am. from a sigh, I said, “ ... tara kukuhang pera” and there it started.

the rush, flushes, sweat and worry coming through at the same time. But I was liking it. It was too surreal, I was not believing it will happen but it did.

From my house, where I got my favorite hoodie and some cash... we headed to ride to get to buses.  we were waiting and was taking too long. you made me took off my watch because you didn’t want to look at the time. It was genius, I was enjoying more. It was kind of a long wait and  we were impatient. We needed to escape soon. SOON. In the terminal, I was still not believing it , so i’m calming myself down. I didn’t want to over-exaggerate and I don’t want to scare you away, I was too weird. Hopping on to the bus, looking for an empty seat, we got to seat to the back. God, it was so exciting!

i check my phone every once in a while, took out my earphones and we shared music. you told me I seem like that i’m that someone who likes guitar riffs, but I thought I wasn’t i hated the sound of guitar but I think I don’t? mehh I’m so confused.

i keep the tickets, treasures.

after an hour, we were there.

San Pablo! It was in fucking San Pablo! 66 kilometers away! We got off the bus, immediately took a trike to go to the lake (you look confused instructing the driver lol) and there we got to see the park we were both just talking about just a couple of hours earlier!

You don’t how thankful I am bringing me there. Really. Thank you from my softest heart and soul.

You know, we just met. But it was comfortable being with you. We were there, in the park. our hands on the cold railings,

The stars were heck beautiful. Too beautiful, it was sublime! we watched the sky as if it was the lake we came to see. But it was more that just the lake, it was a different world... That I was needing. you brought it to me. Thank you again. I remember saying “thank you” to you. Because I am. grateful. :)

we decided to walk along the lake, to see stuff. But we stopped in this some kind of a playground/exercise area? And there we talked. ooh before that, we saw the big dipper. back to the area. God knows how long we have been talking, it was so niceeeee. we talked about fliptop and shit. You were kind of surprised to have heard some girl to watch fliptop videos, and I mean... I know, I’m interested in those too. We headed along, walking. encountered some dogs. We got scared, but just walked anyway. CUZ WE WERE NINJAS RIGHT!? but it was too dark, we can’t risk. so we headed back. ‘Til we noticed someone in the dark... some guy. we were both hesitant, we were acting like nothing’s wrong. So to break the ice, and as a segway I told you let’s pretend like we’re beating one another in a walkathon, so there we increased pace. we ran and just started laughing, i was joking someone’s getting a pimple if they can’t catch up. AND WE WERE LAUGHING... IT WAS WAY FUN. LIKE  WAAAAY FUUN! I was kind of liking you. We were just laughing... tsk. I never had that kind of fun before, with the adrenaline and fright.

Coming back, we took last pictures, ‘cause were going home. of course, we walked.

Commercial, I wanted to take shit. We saw Mcdonalds, so we went there. tried the hospital for a stop at a comfort room cuz i needed to take a shit but let’s roll to Mcdonalds.

We got to mcdonalds, you ordered the meal, chicken... while i’m taking a shit. We had a happy meal, and you maybe you don’t know but I really always collect happy meal toys but I gave it away . To your sis, this time it’s going to be for her. we ate, and laugh and talked again. and took picutres. I dared you to take a tray home and you accepted loooool. we got the tray. and then we walked outside. ran across the church, you took a photo of me and it was embarassing cuz people are looking. we headed. took some more pictures while walking... And there we were miserably waiting for a bus. Until one came along. We hopped in and got a seat. we talked how it is like Papertowns and you were Margo and I was Quentin. i knew it. You’re gonna hurt me. this time, I was getting kind of tired. not for long, I was really avoiding to act sweet or romantic because I’m scared . But this neck was fucking hurting so I asked if It’s okay to lean my head , you didn’t mind so I did. Legit, my neck was killing me. I had seek comfort, had a nap on your shoulder, ‘til i noticed you were leaning to my head too.

I wanted to say we were sweet, but I should not. we were sweet; you were sweet. There’s something in me that holds everything back. if it weren’t for it, I’d confess I like you.  

1. Rafols likes you

2. You’re up to someone

3. I think I’m not fully healed yet

4. I like you

5. YOU MIGHT LIKE ME BUT YOU DON’T  LIKE ME ENOUGH

you see , there’s a bunch of stuff I like about you. But you know ,I’m worried. Because I still yet to know the stuff that I don’t. I don’t want to waste our friendship. It was great and cute. But to think about being romantic with you, considering there’s nothing wrong and it’s possible and it might be real... I’m scared I’d lose another soulmate. Not you please, Simon was great but you were different. Not that I am confessing my feelings, but this is beyond that.

I’m scared, but I wanted to try to accept someone again. But this time, but if it’s not you it’s okay. i just hope he’d  be that someone that’d stay until we’re real couples. (i know im still young but there’s nothing wrong with it you know) But if it weren’t , then thank you for having me in your life, our friendship was awesome! but you know, deep somewhere inside me is kind of hoping?2 i don’t know, i know i’m infatuated. You know that night, I didn’t want to end. You were the chaos I was looking for. it’s gonna be trouble but I feel like it is possible trying out being better with you. but if God’s plan is different, then it’s okay with me. No regrets, right? we can’t be possible too, if you come to think of it. you’re there I’m here, different schools, different worlds. It’s scary risking it. I know you’re a good person, both you and allen. I just don’t like losing people. so Rafols, she’s soooo sooo so so so so so important to me, much more important than you actually. sorry. But you know, it gets fucked up sometimes. also, you like my cousin, plus you’re up to a different girl. I don’t  want to barge in, I respect you and the girl. Who am I?

maybe what i’m feeling right now is pure infatuation, and I don’t want to ruin friendships. and I am also not that kind of person that is desperate in getting into a relationship, I already accepted I’d tire lonely and alone but still hope that I don’t. I mean , “expect the worst, right?”. And I am that someone who wouldn’t always grab the opportunity, I’m shy and scared... so If it’d come, it will.

we finally got home, at the terminal at least. there’s no ride home still, so we waited an hour. we talked how we rocked that night. how we were real ninjas and everything was amazing. we got to go home, you walked me home.

I never really wanted to give the brain pendant away, but I did. it was my way of saying thank you. Thank you, for real. everything was almost magical. That was the best day of my life so far, I have conquered way too many things . So I got home, i gave you the pendant. and the last thing that came into my mind before saying goodbye was to hug. I don’t actually know why. But i feel like I needed to hug you. it was funny. I asked for it lol, “hug?” then we did lolll . i gave off a legitimate smile , like I  was actually happy. after the hug, we waved goodbye.

‘Twas the best day ever. so far.

Thank you, ninja.