#like the thing is my first beatles phase got me through some of the worst years of my life which is great

[menlove]

the Issue with getting really back into a band you were obsessed with as a lonely & actively being traumatized 11-13 year old when u associate songs with memories is that. Well. sometimes u associate songs with memories.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #455

“but you didn’t have to cut me off  /  make it like it never happened and that we were nothing”

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends? We're besties! :') Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual? No. Would you get a lip piercing? I already have a vertical labret. I've considered getting spiked snakebites (they might be called devil bites?) too, though. With a vertical labret, it looks sick as FUCK. It might be a bit much too close together for me, though, idk. Nose piercing? I want my right nostril re-pierced. What are you currently waiting for? Girt to message me back. I've decided what I want out of our relationship and just want to see him. Do you have feelings for anyone? Hit me pretty hard through a lot of examination of my feelings that yeah, I do. Have you ever run over an animal? Oh my god no, I would be DESTROYED. Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? bro what the fuck When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’? I do only out of expectation. I don't want someone to think I'm an ass or something for not saying it. When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle? A few years ago for my niece's birthday. She was scared of how loud it was and was very reluctant to get near it, so my fat ass got in there with everyone else to show her it was fine lol. I can't remember if she eventually got in. She loves them now, though. :') Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk? No, but thanks for the idea, ha ha. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. What is one food that you detest? Asparagus. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not really. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. Are you still that religion? GOD NO. Do you often find yourself questioning your future? That's my full-time job. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 124. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? The same I listen to now. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I'm single rn, but usually, I go for "sweetie/sweetheart," "hunny," "love," "dear," stuff like that. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart. Have you ever seen a theatre show? Yes. What’s your favourite vegetable? Broccoli. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. I was SO fuckin upset because it was on Sara's birthday and planned in secret, and I was supposed to wake her up. It still wound up being a big surprise to her when she walked into her room and I was chillin' at her desk, ha ha, but I still wish it coulda gone as originally planned. Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? Yes; they have a yappy-ass dog that doesn't shut up. I haven't met them. What color is your bedroom door? White. If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans? This may sound very ungrateful, but I have heard A LOT of celebrities say it: it would get old, being stopped constantly in public for signatures, pictures, etc. Like yes, I still WOULD be grateful, but I'd miss just being off the radar and able to go outside carrying out chores and stuff like a normal person. Have you ever met your favourite band/singer? No. :( Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like? Nah, not nowadays. Have you ever written a story? Yes, a kinda short one when I was little. Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it? The breakup with Jason and the fact we're just strangers again. It was really short, but I like it a lot, honestly. Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? I think so. What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child? A skeleton in my closet, lol. Literally. Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you? alkdsjflakjwle yes In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show? That '70s Show. 3rd Rock From the Sun is high up there, too. What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have? HYPOTHETICALLY, two, but I'm pretty damn serious about having none. I just always feel kinda bad for children without a sibling, but three would make me pull my hair out. Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness? Yes. I overreact to even minor symptoms to ANYTHING. Are you comfortable with who you are? No. Pretty much everything about myself embarrasses me, even if it shouldn't. Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it? Yes? Others' opinions don't affect how I feel about someone. Does popularity matter to you at all? No, outside of trying to be a successful photographer. Would you ever consider homeschooling your children? If they really wanted that and it would benefit them, yes. Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to? I discovered them myself. Do you ever read fanfiction? Nah. Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire? Jesus. A plane crash, I guess, because in a lot of cases, it would be an immediate death. What are your top five favourite TV shows? Meerkat Manor, Fullmetal Alchemist (and Brotherhood; shut up, they go together), That '70s Show, Ginga Densetsu Weed, and Deadman Wonderland. What is your favorite superhero movie? Logan. If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Uhhhh idk... I guess maybe a heart attack? Judging by doctor appointments, my heart is just fine, but the fact still remains that I'm technically obese, so that's always a risk. Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why? Facebook, yes. It was just depressing me. I was playing the comparison game REAL hard. Who is the most talented person you know? I dunno. I know many people talented in a lot of areas. Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with? No. Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? Bowling. Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened? Jason and Juan pursued me at the same time. They'd known each other in the past, and Juan hated him for "winning" his ex-girlfriend. Then when Jason and I got together, Juan wasn't the happiest for sure. Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened? Before I actually came out as bisexual, I don't think so? Are your parents more liberal or conservative? Conservative. Mom is more open, but still conservative. I think. What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year? I'm not in school. How far away does your closest family member live? I live with Mom. If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland? I actually strongly prefer Tim Burton's. Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not? Yeah. I just want to be in a long-term, serious, healthy relationship to reach that point and be as safe as possible about it. Are you more liberal or conservative? Liberal, but I do have some conservative beliefs, too. Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? I don't have one, given I never got into that franchise. What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry? Not a goddamn thing. What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done? Done "the thing." Name something that you are against. I'll go with an unconventional one that's a problem as of the late: making owning reptiles illegal. Why are you against it? Because reptiles are perfectly capable of being brilliant pets and, most importantly, can tame people's fears of them. I think that it's very important to see the worth and beauty in all animals, and reptiles are one of the most unappreciated families out there. :/ Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games? I played some of either the first or second one. I could never beat it. Old games are hard, man. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy? I absolutely believe that it can get to an extreme that I don't like, but for the most part, I don't mind a clingy partner because hey, I am too. Beatles or Rolling Stones? Stonessss. When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody? It'd been on my mind for a while, but I *officially* realized that I really do like-like Girt a couple days ago. And since then it's gotten a bit hardcore and all I wanna do is talk to him bc fuck me and how attached to people I get. What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why? Every single time I go to the gym, I feel proud of myself because it REALLY takes a lot out of me. Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Nope. I'm willing to be a shoulder to cry on for like... anyone. If you're hurting, talk to someone. I'll be there as an easy option. What was the last thing to fascinate you? It was... INCREDIBLY disturbing and almost nauseating even for me, but I saw a video of a dead whale explode. It was GRUESOME. Guts just kept coming and coming and coming and :x Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you? Hmmm... I'm sure there is, but what, it's not coming to me. Sudden, loud noises are an obvious answer. Do you have a favourite microorganism? ... No, I can't say I do. Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next? Girt's, actually. It's in October. If you have pet fish do you bother to name them? I did when I actually had them as a kid. Do you keep your eggs in the fridge? Ye. Have you ever owned chickens? No, but that'd be cool. Fresh eggs from a properly cared for chicken taste SO much better. When did you last listen to music? Currently. NOW I'm obsessed with Melodicka Bros & Violet Orlandi's cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." It's done in a gothic metal style and is amaaaazing.

[adella-the-romantic-blog]

Get To Know Me (even tho literally no one asked lol)

*PERSONAL DETAILS

Nicknames? Kirbs, mostly. My coworkers at an old job called me Kirbstomp, which birthed the name that I use for literally everything. My family calls me Sue because they thing that “Kirby Sue” is a better southern name for me. Where do you live? lol south Louisiana kill me pls What’s your age? 24 Hair color? Black Eye color? Brown Height? 5′2 on a good day Date of Birth? November 16th What’s your star sign? I’m the truest Scorpio you’ve ever met hello Element? Water How many siblings? Two half siblings How many pets? I have 4 dogs (Harley, Gizmo, Bandit, and Kokomo), two of which technically live with my parents, and a corn snake named Peach Obsessions? Pokemon, Disney, snakes, slime (don’t u fuckin judge me it’s so cool) Bad habits? Drinking until I pass out does that count really? Phobias? Falling, the void

*ABOUT YOU

What makes you happy? Rainy days, 50 First Dates, spending time with any other human ever What really irritates you? Hot air, water left on the edge of the sink, spending too much time with any other human ever What makes you sad? pft everything hi i’m depressed What makes you angry? People who slow down too much while trying to turn, living in the south, Trump’s America What makes you scared? Under cooked chicken, when a friend doesn’t text me that they made it home, Trump’s America (see I did the thing again) Who is your best friend? Julie, who I met through the last Disney rp I was in on Tumblr, Alex, who I met through this Disney rp on Tumblr, and Wade, who I met through Ms. Roxie’s pre-k class.  Ever broken a bone? Yes, broke my tailbone playing softball. What was the last CD you bought? Christ, um... maybe... Paramore? Brand New Eyes?  What was the last book you read? It’s Kind Of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini Who was the last person you spoke to? Like spoke-spoke? My mom. Texted was my friend Becca. What was the last thing you ate? Mushroom rice What was the last thing you drank? Uh idk some V-8 stuff that tastes like the gummy watermelon Lifesavers What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought? My gaming computer, probably. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought? My gaming computer, probably. What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given? A house. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given? My mom likes to believe that she’s good at picking out clothes to give me for Christmas. She isn’t. What are your future goals? My current goal is to make it out of Louisiana in one piece. One step at a time. Describe your bedroom? Woo okay. It’s like a small apartment. I have a fenced in yard where Harley and Gizmo can run and play and not get lost in the woods, and a covered, wooden porch with a table and chairs where I keep my crystals laid out so that they can be in the moonlight as much as possible. There’s fairy lights strung up around in the rafters of the porch roof. The door opens into my room, to the left is my bed in the corner with grey sheets, a black comforter with a gold mandala inlay, and a giant Maui TsumTsum that I cuddle with at night. There’s a star map tapestry on the wall next to my bed, and in front of the bed is my TV stand. There’s a basket in the corner that holds all of my records and a small table that holds my record player (Fleetwood Mac Live is on the player now). Next to my closet door there is a small terrarium hung that holds some sand and a succulent, and the same goes for th terrarium hung next to my window. I’ve framed concert posters of the Beatles and Elvis (fight me) across from my bookshelf. Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world? Well, I mean *unrolls mile long scroll* have you got time to talk about our lord and savior Idina Menzel? If not there’s Karen Gillan and Natalie Dormer and Elizabeth Gillies and Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world? Maybe... idk maybe Ryan Reynolds? Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? Swim so that I don’t feel like my skin is melting off Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? PLAY IN THE SNOW GIVE ME THE CHILLY GOODNESS If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? A better life for my dad, the money and willpower to make something of myself, so much money. If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do? Wow um... there are so many things I’d go back and change honestly lmao What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up? Is it cold yet? or Please don’t let it be 9:30 yet. Do you believe in the after-life? EhhhHHHHHHHHH???????? Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? I honestly have no idea What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? “It’s just a phase.” *aggressively turns Pokemon music up* Any hidden talents? Does telepathy count? I can kind of sing too? Dream job? Zookeeper Who is your hero? Honestly Idina Menzel Describe yourself in 3 words: Loyal, charismatic, lazy

*FAVORITES

Favorite color? Pink Favorite number? 3 Favorite animal? Snake Favorite sport (to play)? Volleyball Favorite sport (to watch)? Football, baseball, volleyball Favorite Show(s)? Golden Girls, Steven Universe Favorite movies? Aladdin, 50 First Dates Favorite band? Paramore, Fleetwood Mac Favorite song? Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston Favorite room in the house? My bedroom Favorite food? Pizza Favorite drink? Bahama Mama Favorite place? Coyote Drive-In in Fort Worth, TX Favorite cartoon character? Garnet on SU, Princess Jasmine Favorite day of the week? Thursday Favorite day of the year? Halloween and my birthday Favorite season? Fall Favorite Holiday? Halloween Favorite girls name? Kalista Favorite boys name? Emery Favorite country? England Favorite smell? Coconut Favorite sound? Rain Favorite accent? British Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)? Pft mine (I think Octoclam might be my favorite don’t tell the others or Alex) Favorite Fandoms? Critical Role, Steven Universe

*PREFERENCES

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi Pen or Pencil? Pen Day or Night? Night Cat or Dog? Both? Both are good. Summer or Winter? Winter T.V. or Radio? Radio Brains or Beauty? whY THE FUCK I CAN’T HAVE BOTH I say both Cup or Mug? Mug Tea or Coffee? Also both Gold or Silver? Silver, but like gold is cool too Brush or Comb? Pft neither City or Country? City Early or Late riser? Late Blond or Brunette? Brunette Scary or Romantic movies? Scary Board or Computer games? Um how dare you I need both Half full or Half empty? Depends on the day Happy and poor or Sad and rich? Happy and poor Glasses or Contacts? Glasses Flowers or Chocolates? Flowers Love or Money? Love Hugs or Kisses? UM both but like kisses if I had to choose

And now, pictures that you didn’t ask for.

[dollhandinfection]

questions 1-65 (;

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME ALL THE ASKS AHH ^-^

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?: I mean more than likely we’re all just in a simulation so… reality is tho I definitely doubt my own existence before I doubt anyone else’s 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?: I’m not afraid of the dark, I am afraid of what lies in the dark. 5

3. The person you would never want to meet?: Donald Trump

4. What is your favorite word?: serendipity 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?: Willow tree for sure 

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?: holy fuck I did not sleep 

7. What shirt are you wearing?: it’s a crop top that says “I

8. What do you label yourself as?: a human being I guess?

9. Bright room or dark room?: dark room 

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?: umm I think I was being emo and making tik tok videos lol 

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?: 21 

12. Who told you they loved you last?: my mom 

13. Your worst enemy?: myself, I tend to ruin everything 

14. What is your current desktop picture?: it’s a professional Halloween picture of my ratties Piglet and Igor 

15. Do you like someone?: ha yea 

16. The last song you listened to?: right now I’m listening to Skyscrapers by Lil Peep

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?: I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was the cause of someone’s death, no matter who they are

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?: Erin if she were a boy 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?: Davey Havok and I would make him explain in length every intentional meaning of every song he has ever written 

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional): uh I have weirdly almost identical thumbs, besides that my tattoos are pretty tight 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?: been there done that ain’t goin back homie 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?: I can say the alphabet backwards really fast 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?: stairs. well like I guess I’m not afraid of them, I just have to walk really really slow up and down them and I have to stare at my feet the entire time or else I will fall

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal: oh fuck, portobello mushroom burgers are pretty fuckin tight 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?: I’m spending it on weed bro 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?: New Zealand, tho it would be scary as shit to go to another country by myself lol 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?: uhhhhh svedka vodka isn’t bad I guess? like I usually don’t throw up when I drink that lol. but honestly I love pineapple flavored alcohol, it tastes like candy 

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?: no heteros 

29. What is your favorite expletive?: bitch 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?: Uni my stuffed unicorn that I’ve had since I was 6 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?: oh god just one? if I could take back ever meeting Valencia that’d be nice I guess 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!: New Zealand or Ireland yo 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?: Jessica of course, she deserved the chance to grow up 

34. What was your last dream about?: I was on a bus with my cousin and a big white dog. oh also @dirt-goth was there 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?: I’m a good listener 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?: yea I had to go to the hospital a couple months ago because of an accidental overdose, and then I had to go right back because I got pneumonia 

37. Have you ever built a snowman?: I have no memory of doing so, but I have been in a snowball fight before 

38. What is the color of your socks?: I ain’t got no socks on, free the toes 

39. What type of music do you like?: I like a variety of music, if it slaps it slaps 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?: sunrises. there’s just something about how quiet everything starts out, how still everything is, and then it’s alive again

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?: strawberry for sure 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer): I only know of the Chiefs lmao 

43. Do you have any scars?: yeeeep 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?: I didn’t graduate, but I think it would be cool to be a photographer or a professional piercer 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I want a dick yo 

46. Are you reliable?: I would say so yes 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?: will anyone ever actually fall in love with me?

48. Do you hold grudges?: I try not to, I mean I definitely am bitter about some things. But I’ve really been trying hard to better myself this year, and I think a big part of that is letting shit go yaknow 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?: I ain’t fuckin with nature bro 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?: I have had, so many. I guess the last weird convo I had was with my friend Katie when I told her that if she ever needed someone to take high quality feet pics of her so she could sell them that I got her lmao 

51. Are you a good liar?: I’m a good actor, but liar I think not. At least not anymore, through the years of lying every single day, I just gave up. Because even if people know how much pain you are in, they still really don’t care so what’s the point in lying

52. How long could you go without talking?: a long ass fuckin time. I haven’t said anything out loud today or messaged anyone yet

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?: the fucking Beatles bob jesus christ

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?: hell no I burnt fuckin pizza rolls once

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?: not for long really, I do a weird Russian accent when I’m trying to be funny?

56. What do you like on your toast?: I love peanut butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?: uh, me gettin fucked by this one dude in a car lmaoo

58. What would be you dream car?: hippie van or cool ass school bus 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain: I don’t sing in the shower, I used to when I was a kid but not anymore. I just have my speaker playing music. Sometimes I will turn the shower on and sit down like I’m sitting in the rain

60. Do you believe in aliens?: it would be incredibly ignorant not to tbh 

61. Do you often read your horoscope?: sometimes, it tends to be relevant when I do 

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?: D

64. What do you think about babies?: I love all my siblings, and like other people’s babies are cute and stuff. When they get past that weird old man potato lookin phase of course. But there ain’t no way in fuck I’m ever having a baby. I’m adopting a kid, I don’t ever want to walk in on my baby one day covered in shit smearing the walls ya feel (babies do this more often than you would think)

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of: hmmm, how long have you been sober for? I’ve been sober from coke since Halloween of 2018 and from Xanax since December 2nd of 2018

[whoisken]

Coming Of Age Comedy: A Soundtrack of My Emotional Journey in H.S.

Freshman Year is a an entire stream of consciousness that I have willed into being a blur since I loved myself too much and acted and dressed and felt like a bashful fool. So that year’s soundtrack will not be addressed.

Sophomore Year

September-November, 2014 - Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless

                                               - Heart-shaped Box - Nirvana

Left in the haze of my grunge, drugs (but didn’t do drugs), and partying (but I didn’t party) phase, that section of my life went out in a bang when I discovered the sounds of the Pretty Reckless. This phase ended because of my feelings of loneliness subsiding because I met some pretty great(?) people that year.

December-March, 2014-15 - Love Shack - B-52′s

                                             - All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

                                             - You & I - One Direction

At this stage in my life I fell in love, with my friends, the feeling of belonging to a group. I thought that I finally found a group of friends who understand me an accepted me and embraced me with love and friendship. I was loved up, and felt confident, because of them and them introducing me to One Direction.

 May-July, 2015 -This Is What It Feels Like - Banks

                           - Cherry Bomb - The Runaways

                           - Undone - the bird and the bee

                           - Losing It - Summer Camp

The Summer I felt like a typical teen. I’ve always wanted to feel the way the characters in movies seemed to feel. During summer there was this gust of confidence and personality on the screen. I wanted to feel that, and I did. This was the summer I actually had friends to be around and hang out. This was the summer I got my license and started talking to my first soon to be boyfriend. This was the summer my friend and I liked the same boy and made a choice. It sounds like a movie and it was one of my best summers ever.

Junior Year

August-October, 2015 - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Tame Impala

                                     - Gold - Chet Faker

                                      - It’s Too Late - Carole King

This was when shit started to get bad. I’m probably misinterpreting the meanings of these songs as I add them to this portion of my emotional stream, but they have the feel and idea of how I felt during this period. I had a small batch of depression wave over me. I was trying to take care of myself while also appeasing someone else and my friends. This was the worst time to get a SO because I physically and mentally could not be present. I tried to push them away and be with friends more for some normalcy. But I felt like I couldn’t take care of myself because of my mental state, oncoming stress, and family. My relationship wasn’t a relationship because I couldn’t be in it emotionally.

November-February 2015-16  - Tainted Love- Soft Cell

                                  - Aladdin Sane - David Bowie

                                  - Baby’s On Fire - Brian Emo

This was when Shit was bad. I stopped associating with other people in hopes to figure out what was going on with me. I fell into glam rock because it seemed to reflect my mental state. I began worshipping Ziggy as if he was a real god, because the music of the glam rockstars seemed to express how I felt. At this point in my life I was pretty isolated and didn't want to do much (which is usually usual, but I mean less so)

 March- May 2016 - Dreams - Tish Hyman

                               - Cry Baby - The Neighborhood

                               - My Song 5 - HAIM

At this point I almost got over my depression and was functioning again. But when I woke up from my mentally draining haze, I realized I lost 75% of the very few friends I had. I can’t remember what happened exactly, I remember there was no one right answer, but I do remember how it felt. The feeling was pretty bad, because I used to move around a lot. I knew what it was like to leave friends that way, but I was not prepared for just drifting a part. That never happened to me before. I had a hard time accepting the fact that I still thought they were my friends months after they stopped inviting me to things and hanging out with me. So, yea. That hurt.

June-August 2016 - Fooled Around and Fell In Love - Elvin Bishop

                               - Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing - Stevie Wonder

Looking back, I started to appreciate myself more. I used to think that I was distracting myself with happy thoughts and acts to maintain a content mental state, but I think I actually started loving myself slightly more. It was more a feeling like: “ya they dropped you, but why tho”. I asked why  A LOT. To give the reader an idea of A LOT, I mean, I got into my car wreck over the summer because I was asking myself “why did they drop me”. That summer I kept wondering why, but I also prospered mentally.

Senior Year

September-November 2016 - 3AM- HONNE

                                              - The Night Has Opened My Eyes - the Smiths

At this point, I would like to say I was over it, but not really. Seeing everyone again after summer, when I just put myself back together was pretty bad, and I kinda felt like one of those cliches in movies that hardcore believes high school is hell just conservative Christians hardcore believe Jesus is our Savior.

September-January 2016-17 - New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala

                                               - High For This - The Weeknd

                                                -Mary Jane - Rick James

We’re almost done. Sorry this is so long, but this is what I went through. It was long and almost unbearable, which is what you are now going to endure with me as I relive this. Nothing really significant happened at this point though. Just the normal stress that comes with college and senior year.  I was a new person, with some old mistakes. I didn’t think enough funk was being represented so I added some classic Rick James. And I just like this Weeknd Song.

February-May 2017 - I’m Still Standing - Elton John

                                  - Dancing in the Street - David Bowie and Mick Jagger

I was pretty indifferent to the feeling of high school ending. I wanted to get out of there, but I’ve already made new relationships and wanted them to last. That probably doesn’t make sense. I was happy, as you could tell by the music of the time, but was basically chill.

Present Day - Wham Bang Shang-A-Lang - Silver

Now I’m done, I’m past high school. I’ll still be feeling even though it’s over. My thoughts and emotions about my time spent will constantly change, and I’ll have to update it. Right now I’m feeling a lot of emotions I want to incorporate into this part, but that’s for another blog post.

The point of this was because I’ve always wanted to make a soundtrack for my life, and what’s more cliche than another typical high school soundtrack. I also just wanted to give people (who probably don’t care) insight to how I felt while they were around me in high school. This was just a normal blog post, but with a twist, to make it memorable, so that I always have to look back at it. 

Thanks for reading!!! 

P.S. listen to the last song, it sums up the entirety of this post...

[forwyk]

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I was tagged by my lil Angle™️️ @dreamingjaemin​ (and little bamboo,, that’s actually the cutest wee thing omw)

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning, when you are finished you have to tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1) Are you named after someone? Lowkey.  Like my name is Zahra, and it turns out that my Dad has a cousin called Zehra (that’s the Turkish spelling) but when I was being named my Mum didn’t know that so,, lmao I don’t think I explained this v well

2) When is the last time you cried?  Valentine’s Day or maybe Wednesday,, I think.  But I also nearly cried when I was watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 yesterday

3) Do you like your handwriting?  My handwriting tends to vary depending on current levels of pain, but I guess it’s not the worst?

4) What is your favourite lunch to eat? PASTA, SPICY SAUSAGE AND CHEESE

5)  Do you have kids? lmao I am a kid

6)  If you were another person, would you be friends with you?  I doubt it.  I’m quite standoffish to those who don’t know me.  Like, unless a person decides to make a conscious effort to try and get to know me,, we’re most likely not gonna be pals

7)  Do you use sarcasm?  Ye, but not as much as I used to

8)  Do you still have your tonsils?  Nope

9)  Would you bungee jump?  Maybe at some point?  Idk, I’m a small lad so I’m kinda scared I’d be bouncin’ about all over the place

10)  What is your favourite kind of cereal?  I tend to go through cereal phases, but rn I’m proper lovin’ coco rocks.  But like, I also love a good rice crispee hehe

11)  Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Sometimes, depends on my mood and the shoes I’m wearing lmao

12)  Do you think you’re a strong person?  Kinda,, like, idk how to say this without it looking like I’m being cocky, but usually if I’m going through a tough time I can get myself sorted.  I’ve had a lot of hospital and medical stuff and I’ve gotten through that and I like to think it’s made me stronger?  It really depends on what type of strong we’re talking about here.  Emotionally, kinda,, I like to think so, but physically, nah m8910 that’s not happening lmaoooo

13)  What is your favourite ice cream flavour?  CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIE

14)  What is the first thing you notice about people?  It usually depends on the person.  Like, I guess I tend to notice what they’re wearing the most?  But I also tend to notice the way the act and carry themselves.  If it’s a lad I find to be 💯💯💯, then their lips hehehe 🙈

15)  Red or pink?  Red

16)  What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?  Probably my chin.  It isn’t as developed as the rest of my face bc arthritis decided to restrict it’s growth ffs.  I’m also not too fond of my nose and hands??  But I’m coming to terms with them!!!

17)  What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now?  Black jeans and black converse

18)  What was the last thing you ate?  Eggs, sujuk and bread

19)  What are you listening to right now?  Korkma Kalbim - Serdar Ortaç

20)  If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?  Purple maybe?  I was once sent a thing relating to what colours people saw you as and the person picked out mainly purple/lilac colours I think

21)  Favourite smell?  Oaky, I’ve got a few so get ready.  I absolutely love rose jam, it’s like my top favourite smell, but I also love the smell of the Yoga Bomb bathbomb from Lush, which I think primarily has sandalwood in it.  Then I ialso love the smell of Daisy Eau So Fresh by Marc Jacobs, and, this one’s a bit more personal I guess, but I really like the smell of suncream mixed with seasalt?  It reminds me of being in Turkey hehehe 🙈

22)  Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?  My mum

23)  Favourite sport to watch?  lmao

24)  Hair colour?  Brown

25)  Eye colour?  Brown

26)  Do you wear contacts?  Nah, I just stick w my glasses

27)  Favourite food to eat?  Oaky, so I prefer savoury things so even the desserts I like are kinda savoury.  My favourite UK thing would be this wee microwavable meal you can buy and it’s spaghetti, cheesy sauce and bacon bits.  But my favourite Turkish foods, right, oaky, let’s go.  I absolutely love dolma,  börek, acma, meatball soup, spinach cake, lokma and baklava those are all the ones I can think of rn lmao

28)  Scary movies or comedy?  Comedy

29)  Last move you watched?  Never Been Kissed (1999) the sad reality lmao

30)  What colour of shirt are you wearing?  Black and white stripy!!!

31)  Summer or winter?  Summer, I can’t cope in the cold lmao

32)  Hugs or kisses?  I’ve only ever been hugged, but I can imagine liking both lots hehe 🙈

33)  What book are you currently reading?  Nothing 😪 School is taking up too much time

34)  Who do you miss right now?  Too many people

35)  What is on your mouse pad?  Em,, I don’t use/have one

36)  What is the last TV programme you watched?  Riverdale and then the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

37)  What is the best sound?  BamBam’s voice and his laughter💕💕💕

38)  Rolling Stone or the Beatles?  I’m not really a fan of either,,,

39)  What is the furthest you have ever travelled?  The UK to Turkey

40)  Do you have a special talent?  Doubt it tbh lmao

41)  Where were you born?  The UK

42)  People you expect to participate in this (although it’s completely optional)? @taeyongfireeyes, @jeonesque, @imxjaebeom, @spicypancakedoyoung, @chimchim0726, @captain-alec, @ikemenyuta, @markleesgiggle, @angel-spices, @strawbaimee, @kathryine, @oh-sehunnie-94 and @bowtrckle

[eradikeats]

18 Questions About Music

I was tagged by @and-so-are-you​ who is my husband/soul mate/trash can friend. Follow him for art and soft-goth vibes x

1. Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by? this question goes two different ways for me because i own whole discographies of many artists/groups and, some of these artists will have longer careers than others so inevitably they will have more albums, you feel. reality is that i own literally everything Maynard James Keenan has recorded and released in an official capacity either with Tool, APC, or Puscifer - plus soundtracks he’s appeared on. The Beatles because i took all of my parents collection and ripped it to my laptop. i own A LOT of Bowie and Prince, all of Muse’s albums, every Joy Division/New Order, The Cure, Deftones, White Lies, IAMX, Elbow. generally, if i get heavy into a band i become a collector. 

2. What was the last song you listened to? The Human League - Seconds

3. What’s in your CD/Record player right now? i was listening to Cocteau Twins Heaven Or Las Vegas while i cooked dinner because you can kind of just yodel along without actually focusing on words

4. What was the last show you attended? white lies at music hall of williamsburg last month

5. What was the greatest show you’ve been to? oh jesus. there’s been a few tbh. elbow at reading 2011 was insane because i was back in the UK and a fucking rainbow erupted over the stage while they performed the birds and i totally lost it. a perfect circle at lollapalooza was the time i became someone Other. IAMX in London last year was emotional as shit cause i was coming down from a stomach flu, was with @simonjpg and @and-so-are-you and they played This Will Make You Love Again and wow. Muse’s War Child gig with fuckin DEAD STAR and the whole of the internet erupted asking me if i was ok which, no i certainly was not. i saw Stevie Wonder for free two summers ago which WOW. funny i’m naming legends but once i saw O’Brother open for Biffy Clyro and they blew me the fuck away. i’ve been a fan ever since and i’m so pleased they’re doing really well now.

 i’ve been blessed with some incredible gigs.

6. What was the worst show you’ve ever been to? yikes. ive never been to a show where the band i’ve paid to see are awful but ive suffered some horrible openers, let me tell you. the worst was when i went to see brian fallon and his opener, i literally do not remember who, was so terrible i got a headache halfway through the set and had to leave the entire gig because i was in agony. 

7. What is the most musically involved you have ever been? uh, in what capacity? well. i play violin and am a singer, i sight read better than i sight sing though. sight reading means im kind of okay at piano although my left hand prowess is non-existent, really. but i mean, if we’re being open and honest, i actually am employed in the music industry, so that’s pretty damn involved if you ask me lol.

8. What show are you looking forward to? SO MANY. ive got some huge festivals this year - Gov’s Ball, Glastonbury, and Lollapalooza (supposing i get tix to the latter). elbow in november, New Power Generation at the start of April. who knows what else will get announced - hoping for some official Franz Ferdinand dates (besides their gov’s ball set) or an APC tour. 

9. What is your favorite band shirt? i have this v-neck black shirt from when i saw The Cure last year. the only size they had was xxl and i got it just because im compelled to get shirts at every gig i attend. its honestly the most comfortable shirt i own and i use it as pajamas. 

10. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? honestly, id love to spend a day with Dan Smith from Bastille. im not even like super, duper heavy into the band (i love them but not how i love many others) i just want to get some sandwiches and talk about movies with him. we’d have so much to discuss. probably would also love to hang with lorde and osmose some of her glamour. 

11. Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback? like...from the dead? bowie or prince, full stop. come back and make a new album, Fair To Midland. such a specific, identifiable sound - no one is filling their space now they’re gone. 

12. Who is one band/ artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to? BOWIE AND PRINCE. im haunted by the time Prince came to NYC when i was in college and i was too fucking poor to see him. rammstein have decided to play an NYC date for the first time in fucking years and i just so happen to be at glastonbury when they’re here (i am bitter). TOOL is on this list but WILL BE REMOVED IN JUNE, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE. also, recently lady gaga but specifically during her fame monster years. she came round when i was in college and my housemates went - regret it because she seems like an amazing performer. 

13. Flawless albums? shit. wow. ok. ive got many. Radiohead - In Rainbows, Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes, Prince - Purple Rain, NIN - Year Zero, Cocteau Twins - Heaven Or Las Vegas, White Lies - Ritual (i swear to god, you have no fucking idea how far ahead of its time this album was- it’s six years old and it sounds like it was produced yesterday), Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go, elbow - the seldom seen kid, Ghinzu - Blow, and Echo & The Bunnymen - Ocean Rain - to name a few. i find when you listen to a lot of music, you wind up discovering how much art is really out there which is probably why my pretentious ass has a longer list than most idk

14. How many concerts have you been to, total? please don’t make me count. a very high number.

15. Who have you seen the most live? Muse

16. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? I have three really. The Fountain, A Single Man, and Pride & Prejudice. Also, not films but Braid, Bastion, and Transistor are some of the best video game soundtracks. I can’t really go a month without listening to them. 

17. What was your last musical ‘phase’ before you wisened up? i turned my ‘phase’ into a career, i think we’re shit outta luck on the ‘wisened up’ front. 

18. What is your ‘guilty pleasure’ that you hate to admit liking? i love the shit out of K-Pop. it’s been like a 7 year quiet thing in the back of my mind, but if you want to learn some SHINee/EXO/f(x) moves, i got you!

i forgot im supposed to tag people omg uh ok @zombeesknees because she is my queen and i want to know what she’s into; has @simonjpg done this yet? idk, do this if you want!