#like the person im seeing who is a poet and has such a beautiful soul

[hugthefreak]

more and more im starting to think i was put on this earth purely to love artists

[csny]

not to be messy but how do you feel about people stealing other peoples viral posts on tumblr and reposting it on twitter like it’s theirs. (she’s on here by guttergirl-444) & she has stolen many more lol

at first glance it’s like shock and amazement more than anything because i never thought this would happen to me, but when i actually stop to think about it, it actually is very frustrating and invasive. i know it happens all the time and i can’t really stop it, plus my posts have no copyright or anything but it is true, when i make posts that aren’t haha funny laugh a lot play a lot, they kind of are little extensions of my artwork. like drafts and ideas that often get elaborated on if they seem to connect with people.

i don’t really want to dunk on other artists because it feels mean spirited, but i just want to point out this one instance that shows how writing anything on tumblr is “just a tumblr post” and people often don’t consider that there’s a person behind it. it’s almost like a popular tumblr post becomes fair use. This artist here took my words directly from my post (and even used the same iconography of a beach??) and when you click on the link in the description, it takes you to their instagram account with 142k followers. not even a single nod to me, who wrote the actual words. as an extra little punch, they call themself a poet in their bio.

sure my post was a bottom text top text “meme image” but there was a lot behind it—in both thought and time. the exact same ideas and photos made their way into a book i made just a couple months later. i think i sold umm one copy?

all in all, im not complaining about lacking “popularity” because that’s utterly stupid. but there’s something moderately soul-crushing about making a tumblr post and having it ripped to shreds by all walks of life online. It literally feels like i’ve placed something beautiful in the world out of my own kindness, then walked away, and when i come back everyone has defaced and damaged and killed it. it’s kind of invasive but I know it’s the way things go.

i love the anonymity of tumblr but sometimes I wish it we were all a little more open. Maybe people could remember that behind every blog is another person with ideas, cares, opinions, annoyances, and loves. I’m sure this one twitter account isn’t really doing much damage—honestly I haven’t even gone to look at it to see how people are replying—but it’s rough out there on this beautiful social media we call tumblrposts.

[callmehopeless]

Sleepover! Yay lol okay so I am a writer also and have recently gotten into writing about Kylo what advice do you have for writing his personality because sometimes i think I’ve hit it dead on and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed it completely. I need advice lol thanks

Ok please excuse my bad formatting because I refuse to get out of the bath rn. I am in a transient state of zen under the weight of all these LUSH products

First off, I always find these asks immensely flattering, because everyone writes Kylo differently, and this means you guys must think I'm doing something good with his characterisation. So Im loving that, a lot

Writing Kylo the way I write him is all about writing someone too stuck in the past to let go, but falling too far into his own out of control destiny to have balance. He wants to run...and yet, something holds him back. Always. He's always on the precipice of it

And that won't change. It's a part of him; the yearning for belonging. The power aspect is him scrambling for control: but in the end, it's all just...reaching. So I try to think of how he'd feel - he's afraid of everything, and wants to be everything he isn't. But he's also deflecting, and deep, and full of this rich tapestry of emotion. His anger is ALWAYS laced with fear; his happiness is burdened by doubt. He's never just one thing - especially when he wants to be most

How would that feel? Scary, probably. Dangerous. Erratic. Like you're an actor on a stage, and you can see the ending at the start - and all the people there are just reading lines and prancing, trying to get you to accept a reality you never asked for

Writing Kylo is about embracing him as unsteady, and uncontrolled, and always convincing himself he has nothing to lose - until he loses it. Quick, sharp, punchy statements when he panicks. When he's thinking, go broad. Beautiful. He's intelligent. He's sensitive. Passionate. The soul of a poet. Use metaphors; metaphors for things you think he'd know

He's difficult to write for, in my opinion. Harder than someone like Clyde, who you can see has things bubble to the surface. Kylo's emotions punch through his goddamn bones, and he still has the control to look emotionless

I wish you the best of luck, my love <3

[reborn-fromtheashes]

@joyful-soul-collector tagged me in a 12/12/12 challenge so i might as well do it now. i didnt take much consideration of what the questions were and im going with apollon only bc hes currently my least fav out of the bunch. (also major CW for edgy shit and emotional baggage and what not) basically... rp an oc of your choosing to answer some p neat questions. my questions are on the bottom ;p.

1. Would you rather have a monkey tail or cat ears?

stupid question... my phsyical form is perfect. but to humor this, i would say monkey tail. it is far more interesting, plus ela already has... cat ears.

2. Sweet or salty? Tea or coffee? Fire or ice?

foolish to believe that i have such vapid and binary tastes. but if you must know, i prefer spicy foods, coffee, and... of course... fire.

3. What would you do if you lost your best friend?

ha! i purposefully distance myself so as i do not feel the pains of loss. if that were the case though, i would maybe cry, write poetry, and after a century of self reflection i would... forget.

4. Are you scared of the dark? Have you ever been?

god... amateur questions really. i cannot lie and say i was never scared of the dark *sigh* i still... am i guess? but does it matter? is anyone afraid of the light?

5. Have you ever dyed your hair? Would you ever consider it if you haven't?

yes, i have. back around the 8th century in baghdad, a merchant offered me henna. it dyed my hair a bright red. i enjoyed my redhead escapades for a good 7 months until i went to europe, got called a witch, and was burnt alive. it felt good though.

6. Do you like to play with fire?

... i am... not very fond of this question...

7. Who and or what do you live for?

well myself of course. i could humor you and say ra, gaius, and ela but honestly, i dont... live for them per se. they're merely specks of organic material as is myself in the wider scope of nothingness. relationships are just as meaningless as anything in this game we call "life".

8. If you were a merman, what would your tail look like?

dolphin tail... they are my muses after all.

9. Have you gone to school? If you have, what was your favorite class. If not, why not?

im so much older than the western concept of a "school". ive attended academia and lectures before, such as scholarly debates between... ugh... sokrates and alkibiades. or many science and mathematics lectures with chinese and arab teachers. my favorite was with a young mayan astronomer. she was....exceptionally smart for a human.

10. Have you ever had a pet? Or taken care of an animal in any way? What was the animal's name?

ive had many bonds with animals such as dolphins, ravens, snakes, wolves, cattle, etc. probably the closest ive gotten to an animal though was a raven i named poe. i was centuries early to the poet, but it only felt right. he was a beauty. he died too quick though, but that's the price you pay as an immortal.

11. Can you swim? Can you drive? How fast can you run?

i swim faster than any fish, and i drive like hell on asphalt. i beat hermes in a footrace if that means anything?

12. Have you ever been hit on purpose?

what an exceptionally hard question to end on? are you perchance a therapist? i dont want to linger on it but take it as a reason why i hate zeus. besides that yes. ive been in a fight or two... or three... or close to a million. people say i have a very punchable face. i dont see it.

QUESTION TIME! ;)

1. How do you cope with trauma or mental downs?

2. What's your favorite genre of music? Does it reflect your personality?

3. What would you say is the definitive piece of media that changed your life? It can be a book, movie, video game, etc.

4. Irrational fears? What are they and why do you think you have them?

5. If you were an animal, what would you be? If you already are an animal/have a muse, would you change it? What would you change it to?

6. The Greeks believed in four elements. Earth, water, fire, and air. What element would you say you most identify with?

7. Are you and introvert, extrovert, or a little bit of both?

8. Would you rather be a human, alien, monster or some kind of fae or elven creature?

9. Your being told that the world will end in a month, what will you do after this revelation?

10. What D&D class would you see yourself as?

11. Do you have a family? Siblings? None at all?

12. Name one thing you CANNOT live without.

i tag @apollo-hemingway bc ur the only one im comfortable tagging...

[btsjimln]

💌

My prince my sunshine my love and light of my life my love and joy and literally the left side of my heart and soul, I genuinely don’t know how to start of this letter other than immediately jumping into my thoughts and feelings that keep me up at night that make my heart swell and grow in size that have feelings of love and joy rise  to the point where i have to let it out which this time resulted into the beginning of this letter. 

Often when i go to bed at night I think about you actually most the time. I think of your laugh and your smile and I genuinely  and effortlessly start subconsciously  smiling and the feeling of love and joy starts bubbling up in my heart sometimes i even think of how clumsy and goofy you are on stage just to fuel the feeling thats bubbling and growing inside of me and sometimes i think about how nice and kind you are how loving and caring you are and my heart kind of deep dives and swarms over with love and this time my thoughts went into that direction.  

This time when I was laying there in the dark I thought about how whenever I’m upset in any way, whenever something goes wrong for me, whenever i feel something negative or even see something negative I just think back to you,  I think of you how thoughtful you are how kindhearted you are how considerate and caring you are and I find comfort in it i think about how situations related to you are so easy and smooth and I even compare negative sights to your positive light

Because of that you have taken away the ache in my heart countless of times, pried away the ugly feeling that cluthes onto it and  overflowed it and had it swell in sizes with nothing but love and joy, you’ve had it even grow and bubble over with pride and delight over the kind of person you are. you’ve even made it ache and hurt because of it but only in the best way possible (those times are the times i’ve wanted to give you the world for the kind of person you are but have never managed to do it)

You really are my happiness in this world. You genuinely bring me so much joy you make me so happy you make me smile and laugh -like genuinely when not much actually makes me feel that joyful. I also feel grateful for your happiness for your laughs and smiles I wish I could always see you like that I literally wish I could give you my happiness sometimes for at the end of the day you are the one who caused it, so you can be happy all the time and never know of any sad times . Your happiness your laugh your smile it makes my heart click in place and I always want to see you at your happiest

Whenever I think of you of how kind and sweet you are how lovely you are my heart swell it literally swells in sizes it feels like it’s engulfed in love thinking about all your random acts of kindness and I truly find myself  feeling bad for the people that miss out on your existetence but I truly am grateful I found it

You know what I love about you I love so much about you I love that you love moon and sun and stars so much just thinking of something as simple as you looking out at the sky and admiring the view makes me want give you the sky and all its colors stars the moon sun all it bestoves and holds

I love how simple things make you happy how the sight of fireworks are enough to fill your heart with love and joy it makes my heart filled with love and joy and feel happy and content

I love how you’re so entranced by the sight of the world the beaches and seas sunsets and sunrises the amount of times I wished to be able to show you the world are countless. I’ve wanted to take you everywhere and show everything worthy of seeing i’ve wanted to have your heart filled of sights and views to the point where it can never feel empty you are truly one of the very few if not only people i know who appreciate the beauty of this world who looks at everything with a childish glint in their eyes and with so much awe

I love how kind you are how sweet you are how the person you present yourself as to be , is who you are  , how you once said you just want people to know how since you are and I see it I see it and others do to and people talk about it and even when you dont bother to show all the kindness you constantly give to the world it slips out for the world to see and admire it all

You were raised with so much love and kindness  in your heart I cant believe there was once a sweet little boy feeling the need to return 50 cents to the police station

I really always wish you  happiness I wish it for you for when the world can see you, when you’re at concerts, when you’re performing but I also wish it for you for when you are alone and the lights are out and the world  is asleep  I want you to be as happy as possible, always

No letters is enough for you because you are so amazing and wonderful you really really really are to the point where letters are enough

Your heart holds so much and feels so much and I admire it so much i admire the happiness you feel at the simplest things I admire the pain your heart must’ve carried I am in awe of what your thought processes must be, for the things you sometimes blurt out are so mind blowing. They’re always so thought through so cleaver and wise it makes me want to hear more of them to learn from them I fucking love how empathic you are I couldn’t give a single shit what others think about it the fact that you cry at the sight of someone else crying is so endearing to me you heart is so big and loving and caring and would run across the stage whilst in the middle of a performance to comfort someone whos crying

Park Jimin you’re such a gentle soul I  cant believe you exist in this world I get so overwhlemed to the point cant believe you’re out there and you’re real and you’re this amazing

To me your eyes hold so much warmth and love and kindness and gentleness and I hope everyone sees it to for I know it’s not just me being too in love or anything like it your eyes are a peak into your soul every single emotion you feel shines through your eyes your kindness your compassion your caring and loving nature everything shows through your eyes theyre literally pools of warmth and love 

Your voice makes my heart swell in sizes and makes my soul feel alive sometimes it makes me shy sometimes it brings comfort to my heart sometimes it relaxes me sometimes it makes me smile and laugh

I love you so much I genuinely  love you so much

I made a list of a ll your good words and deeds but I feel like it faded in the background and failed to show all the kindness you give to the word but I do hope your kindness is seen wherever you go and that none of it is taken for granted for your heart and soul are SOSO SOSOS SOSOS pure I genuinely wish I could give you the world

I wish I could take your random acts of kindness and put it on pieces of string and showcase for the world to see you don’t know how badly I want to do it to have you recive all the love and joy you deserve to have people understand all the love and joy that’s in my heart

You have proved to me that one can be the kindest and still get so much negativity you don’t deserve any of it and I’d literally give my left arm for you to never feel bad about anything ever again your heart knows no limits your soul is never dull nor dark you are so amazing and wonderful I love you so much I can’t believe you exist Park jjimin the kindest soul to be put here

Please don’t ever cry please always smile and if your heart gets heavy sometimes please remember how amazing you are how loved you are how cared for you are

You are the light in this world the world would be nothing without your laughter and smiles without your giggles and cute squeaky sounds without the kindness you show for random cats on the street the love and care you show for your members

You are everything you are  genuinely everything and I love you for it

Park Jimin I have never been good with words but with you I’m like a a poet rambling up novels of idioms and metaphors  you make me feel so much so much I want to let it all out or else it feels like my heart will burst or else it feels like im so engulfed with emotions I’ll explode from it

And i know sometimes things get hard i dont understand it at the extent  you do (which sometimes breaks my heart because i feel guitly being unaware of your pain and enjoying myself like your worries and struggles dont matter) but i know sometimes things are rough and you take it heavily to heart. You don’t know how much it hurts me not seeing a smile on your face or seeing your exhausted face after a rough day it has my heart actually feeling crestfallen i wish to take all your worries and struggles away i wish i could carry them sometimes i genuienly feel like a parent whos hearts aching for their child thats hurting . Thats why i cherish your laughter and smiles why i thrive in how happy you are why i feel so good knowing you are at the top of the world and not being dragged down by any negative emotions

I wish I could tell little encouragements to you  I wish I could tell you all the things about yourself that I love so much about you  your eyes that hold genuinely so much love and kindness your kissable and boopable nose your pretty plump lips that wear the cutest pout there is how you never show your struggles and worries because you wouldnt want to burden anyone

But I also want to tell you that I love you and that I cheer for you that I root for you that I appreciate you that I’m grateful for you for your existence for your smiles your laughters your presence your sosoo bright presence

You don’t know how happy you’ve made me how much you’ve done for me how much you’ve done for the world what an impact your existence is to the world how many people you inspire and how many people you have want to move forward

I hold you so high in my eyes I see you as someone who would light up every star in the sky who would take their clothes of their back I genuinely cant see you anything but kind

Jimin I love you I adore you I care for you my heart literally holds so much love for you and my eyes pour out all the adoration I feel for you you should literally see the way I look at you sometimes it genuienly  feels like love pouring out my eyes I would give you the world each and every single star anything and everything you want you are my love my joy my heart my soul my everything in this world I can feel your presence in the right side of my heart in the right side of my soul I can literally feel you tugging on my heart stringes there and making that part ache you make me feel my heart in my chest 

I cant evene express how immensely thankful I am for someone who cares so much for fans like you do I feel so cared for and yet I’ve never met you you make me feel so loved and appreciated and seen you are so amazing I have never met you nor have you met me yet just from your constant words it feels like Ive met you multiple time from it and spoken to you as a close friend who you constatly comfort

Your heart is golden you soul is so pure there’s so much good in your soul I love you to the point where there are no word im literally geting overwhelmed just thinking of every single thing you’ve ever done for someone you loved to the point where my hearts swelling in sizes at the thought, Hushsusjiddjddjjdjdjdjdjdjd im trying not to cry writing this but I love you so much

Do you evene know how golden your soul is it literally has me cryin doyou know how kind you are compared to the next person you’re so gentle. It really aches in my heart for all the people that only see you for your looks because you are so much more, there is so much more to it. I wish to god I could just express everything here all at once every single word thought feeling I feel when I think of something simple a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone and explain just how I feel from that but I cant

You are literally my comfort and my safe place you are my happy place and the place I search to come to when I feel alone. Jimin I love to so much. i love you with all there is in me I really really live you with everying in me. Your heart knows no boundaries when it comes to kindness your soul is so wise. I don’t even deserbe to write this letter I genuienly feel like I’m not doing you any justice but I honestly didn’t know you’d be this important to me and that I woukd come to love you  like this  to the point where my heart is filled with so much love from simpöe seeing a picture or a video

As astounding as it might sound your smile is the first smile I love and adore so much the first smile I’ve genuinely fell for the first laugh I’ve fell for I’ve never understood the adoration and love people hold for someone’s smile until I saw yours and now all I do is think about it when I go to bed at night 

I see the pieces you give I see the parts of your soul you hold. The amount of times I’ve said this man must’ve never held any bitterness to anyone sure you’re human and some negative emotions you must have felt sometimes but the way you look st your friends when they achive the tiniest things the big smile on your face the pride in your eyes, the kindness and care you show towards animals and strangers its so easy to see how good you are as a person jimin

The time I saw you react to the bird with a misssing leg was probably the first time I was genuinely shocked and blown away with how kind someone can be istg I had never ever ever seen such a genuine reaction before like this it took my breath away it genuinely blew me away i didnt know how to even process it

You are so considerate caring thoughtful and loving you are so much good and more you are so important my love

You don’t know how much you matter how much you light up the world how precious you are how important you are

Thank you for being such a big and significant part in my life

happy birthday jimin  i love you so much

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

[adminpoetryclub13-blog]

MEMBERS

Member count: 22

Giuls (president): Lover of everything pink and sparkly, I am the mom friend who makes sure everyone is well-fed and having a good time. I am the founder along with Amber and was elected president. You can find her @giulswrites.

Mira (vice president): 16 years old, from the Netherlands. She is a wanderer with dreams. Poetry to her is a way to express her imagination and experiences into words. Meanwhile, she is still figuring out her place on this planet. Also, she likes to draw illustrations now and then. She is an assistant for PC13. You can find her @blacknwh1te-cray0ns.

Lexi (secretary): 19 years old; from Germany. She is the secretary and keeps everyone informed. Also, she is in charge of reblogging your poems, so if you don’t see your writing reblogged please contact her. For her poetry is a way to experience long-forgotten feelings, but also get her current feelings in order and understand herself better by expressing them in poetry. You can find her @lexiklecksi.

Asa: I'm a 23 year old author with 6 published books, at least two more to publish by the end of 2018, and many more to come. Writing, poetry included, is a way of life to me. It's using words to create an identity. It's showcasing your affection, the things in your head, the light and darkness. It's observation, knowledge, curiosity, and so much more. You can find me @racksley.

Ash: Hey! My name is Asawari. I am 20 years old. I love to engage in craft work, and always challenge myself to do new things. Poetry for me is being in the moment and conversing with it , from messy hair to heavy downpour , chirping of birds to pillow fights , I just capture these in my words to relive it. I crave for peace and chocolates and believe in free flowing of emotions. You can find me at @beboundless.

Dani Sweets: I'm a writer committed to sharing and improving my craft. I love seeing what I can create and what I can learn to do and not to do from other writers. To me, poetry means release. You can find me at @unedited-emotions.

Dolores: A lost soul batlling rhymes and emotions one by one. Inspire and be inspired. You can find me @allisbullshit.

Estevão Fernando: I'm 20 years old, I'm a Law student and I just love writing and deep self-thinking. Poetry for me is like magic through words. There's no other way to explain it. It saved my life in the past and it keeps saving it whenever I have a meltdown, a breakdown or simply want to enjoy reading quality content. I don't consider myself a poet (even though I was told before that I am), just a writer, what for me is already enough to be who I am. You can find me @stoic-words.

Gina K. Judy: 57 years old; from the USA. She is a Chief Operations Officer of a large not for profit social service organization. Her pop wisdom style of writing is filled with experiences of personal great loves, humorous life moments, and more pain than Billy Holiday. You can find her @cocktailnapkinmusings.

Haseeb:  I am, what they would call, a child conflicted by terrible instances of the past, and monotonous noises of the present. Like all poets, I was able to learn how to channel this unfortunate circumstance into an amazing literary art; poetry.You can find me @darkenallhope

Hyuri: 22, black, and I'm a graduate student. Food, great tv shows(especially anything Shonda Rhimes related), and traveling, and are all things that bring me joy. Poetry is the way I express the truths, emotions, and feelings i'm not otherwise able to share. I write to distress and to introspect. It allows me to feel, process, and turn my pain into something beautiful. You can find me @invoked-emotion.

Isorosa: Night owl, city crawler, book lover, poetry is the only way I can speak to the world. You can find me @iso-rosa.

Kelly:  I am a mother of two teen girls. Newly hella gay lol have a beautiful girlfriend whom most of my poetry is about. Work at a soup kitchen and love helping people. Some say im a healer or an empath but i think im just kind 😘🤘🍑 I am 25 years old; constantly learning to cope with life while finding the joy in it. I love my mom and daughter. I love my cats even though they are stuck up. Poetry is an outlet, it helps keep me sane.You can find me @brnbabe

Linda:  I am 25 years old; constantly learning to cope with life while finding the joy in it. I love my mom and daughter. I love my cats even though they are stuck up. Poetry is an outlet, it helps keep me sane. You can find me @zestygingersoda

M’leigh: Hello I'm M'Leigh, I'm currently a freelance writer, author, and blogger. I love the arts; music, making art in different ways painting, drawing etc, but my main love is writing. In particular poetry to me is an outlet, "its like breathing for the soul" (from the show recess). Its were folks like myself can share their hearts and minds in a special way. My hope, my goal is to use my writings to spread Much Love and understanding to others as well as share my thoughts and feelings that may otherwise not have a voice. You can find me @mleighsquickspot

Manya Saxena: Poetry is a way of expressing my feelings. The lack of which has always been my major concern. It had improved a lot on my personal being and has added successfully to my personality. I love nature and everything that comes along with it. From human interactions to listening to their stories is what I love for.  You can find me @manyasaxenawrites

Marisca:  I am a very average human being that enjoys anime and movies in general. I am a massive Marvel fan! I like a wide variety of music (literally from classic to metal). My Saturdays start with horse riding and I also like running (horse riding and running both calms me down a lot). For me poetry is my way to show people what is going on in my cluttered head since I am not very good with talking about what I feel. In my poetry I usually show pieces of myself to the reader, whether it is a pessimistic out look on life (which is common for me) or the fact that I think love is very sweet. I nearly always show a true part of myself. You can find me @1blackwhiteblue1

Maya: I am a Tamil born American living in Mozambique and working in the health sector of foreign aid. Writing is my way of connecting with the world around me as well as the world inside. You can find me at @maya-doolali.

Rameshwar: For me poetry means the Expression of feelings through words. You can find me @ramschavan.

Sara: I'm an emotionally closed off person, unless I'm writing. It helps me feel and clear my mind, and it makes my feelings feel real and valid. You can find me @sacchareen.

Talha Nadeem:  I'm talha and I'm 15. I've been passionate about literature since the age of 13 and I've been writing since then. Poetry's a way through which I escape everyday turmoil. I use poetry to find out who I am, I'd call it my path to self discovery. I think every person has a way he expresses himself. For me, it's poetry. You can find me @talhas-thoughts.

Zashes:  I'm someone with a heart that feels a lot, I'm someone who loves to dwell in another world. People have turned cold and harsh in this world so poetry keeps me alive and warm. Poetry sounds to me like that cup of tea without which one cannot commence their day. It's special. I do not write to merely write, I write to exhale, to express and to set free all the thoughts that keep imprisoning me. Overthinking and overfeeling probably turned me into a writer. I may not write perfectly but I try to express myself so that I continue to breathe! You can find me @sparkandashes

Former admins: 3

Alexander (vice president): Ancient, godless, countryless heathen that writes poetry for the joy of magic. He shares the vice president position with Amber. You can find him @arcane-ethereality.

Amber (vice president): 17 years old; from the Netherlands. She shares the vice president position with Alexander. You can find her @a-holy-mind.

Rae (vice president): 19 years old; from the USA. She is an audiology (ear doctor) student living on coffee, chocolate, and hugs. Writing is her way of discovering, connecting, sharing, and releasing. She wants to change the world and doesn’t quite know how, but she’s on her way. You can find her @universalmemoir.

[chaekkung]

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

[cum-om-me]

Personal Entry:

Otter here, first i guess itd be fair to explain a few things up top.

Firstly Otter is a metaphorical alter ego which was created based of a nick name given to me in highh school.

I was coined as "the nomadic Otter" due to my well known history of drifting continuously through this existence being born in a foreign land not to many continents away,but like a gracious river otter flowing with the rivers which eventually reach the seas, i was always stoned more naive, but ironically zen. I was brought here by my single mother at four yrs old, my father was never in the picture nor was i allowed to speak about him or inquire about him to my family and those who may have any information regarding the history of my own coming into being.

We became permanent residents four years later and im currently going through the process of naturalization. I went through the american education system since pre kindergarten so naturalization has occured as an outcome, but just isn't finalized and paid for so i am now going through that initiation. Ive paid and gone through the preliminary round.

We landed in a small town in texas, age four. Came to california at fifteen, twenty years id moved one year to, year and a half due to my mothers profession In the medical field, sometimes, or i guess i should say almost always, we would have to go to where the work was most needed in order to sustain our basic living, taking us all over texas and parts of southern california. After eighteen yrs of age, i left home with duffel bag and a guitar because i wanted to escape the conventual fate planned for me by my elders.

Nature loves courage.... And it is Apparently so.

Of course there are so many factors and so much information to divulge to add the proper context to the point im trying to get to in the conclusion of this story. Im afraid id diverge so ill have to return to all that some other day.

Now that you understand where the otter ego within me (pun intended) was teased and entertained as an ideal character for the person i am, its seeds didnt really start sprouting till last year (2019) and its peaked above the mud, i can explain my newly found understanding of the purpose of using this "alter ego" "character" "avatar" to be able to dissolve the borders of my own limitations as a person creating art. To be able to truly entertain these thoughts through the medium of the otter avatar and not as the man, for it has been increasingly difficult for me to be able to contemplate and philosophize with my peers and the community of souls i once accepted as my tribe, in a way of intellectual taste and progress.. Now it seems the bridges between me and the village are dissolving and im trying to understand why. I stand on the side which i believe to be that of the importance of knowledge of self, critical thinking, and responsible skepticism in order to be able maintain reason within the tribe, to perserve that which is most human in our nature, in comparison to the madness we have seen over and over throughout history displaying itself in obvious patterns of repetition that consumed mobs rabidly, making itself its own enemy. Lets use a symbolic metaphor. The snake eats its own tail in the delusions of unity to find when its finished nothing remains but its mind left exposed, and without protection from even the weakest but competent prey.

You see the metaphors are simply the inner poet, using symbolic visual linguistic tools to paint a clearer picture.

We are a story driven organism, just ask the keepers of morality and the stories of god which has defined the basis of our now hypocritical society using it like a crutch too old to withstand the withering of time, frail and ready to snap like a twig beneath ones feet.

As george carlin once said "no one seems to notice, no one seems to care" and every debate that has naturally transpired in my social structures as of late has lead to a point where logical conclusions, non threatening ones at that, lead to the opposing side raising their white flag and settling for mediocrity. "I dont care, leave me alone"

Then the attack on personality and character are used as a defenses to preserve the beliefs already founded due to the uncomfortable nature of growth.

I sit and watch as i always have the flicker, flame and smell of the bridge burning in blazes right before my teary eyed soul.

Am I no longer included, wanted by the collective community? Has my own pursuit for knowledge, understanding, truth and the inner rapture of personal discovery lead me to ruins door? Am i incapable of getting out of my own way? Can you even go to far within yourself?

No one wants me to feel but its not ok to feel nothing at all

To think but, only on the agreeable subjects of status quo

To speak when spoken to but to only speak what is conveniently easy to digest by a still watered mind threatened by the chaos of waves beating on the shores of its shared sands.

Has erosion driven us mad. Have the corrupted springs poisoned our waters too far beyond repair.

Must i reluctantly recluse amidst the tides and hide underneath lonely currents that travel vast desserts beneath oceans.

Pandemics, parks closed, beaches are now illegal to its native children, by a seemingly upset stepdad whos love is equal to obedience and incapable of parenting,it seems theyre now gunning for the fringe, the free, the open, the love expressed through physical incarnation as its own self love for its own existence, through the odd, differnt, freaks, weirdos, mutants, prophets, and visionaries

Why should i fight for those who dont care about their own person their, own freedom.

Why stand for those who wouldnt even stand with you, nor for you.

"Those who trade freedom for security deserve neither"

-Benjamin Franklin

Yet who am i to claim that anyone deserves anything or doesnt. So regardless of the I Dont Care Generation emerging. I choose to care for not what is principles of good or evil but what i intuitively feel is sincere and right. So I must begin with myself and only in following intention will i be able to incite any real change. By making a difficult choice and knowing that it feels as though the risk is worth the gamble.

So now ive heard loud and clear and i have nothing else to let go of but this. So ill hold my tongue and wish for the best. For the eutopia not the the sneaky slip into distopia.

There's nothing further i can do other than create, experiance, enjoy, let go, and face the music, To put it as Alan Watts did, " this doesnt mean you wont jump when you hear the bang, or that you wont feel fear, but youll accept it, and the person who understands the tao in the morning my sleep peacefully at night"

"Once the mind has been extended it cant ever go back"

-Terrence Mckenna

I hope that you know ive accepted the multitudes of possible outcomes for our future, i may be optimistic but i feel prepared, oddly prepared. This isnt a statement or message based on fear but something none the lesse my heart cannot hold in.

So Otter is born so to speak to embody the imagination im trying to let out without it being taken seriously, but sincerely and within the temple of the timeless. Art.

Without it having to be the me, the person, that funny feeling between the eyes that screams out I, who finds himself walking away from flames due to trial and failure in channeling its own expression. I will not desist i just must evolve and create the platform on which i may rebuild. The system updated and the restart brought about change. Now we begin again. Full of breath, with new found vision, i forgive myself for my failures but i wouldnt ever be able to look at my own reflection if i didnt try until i got it right. I vow to myself and olny to myself for thats the only source of validation needed to exist freely, sovereign, that i will do my best to be who i am meant to be, the being and self of my choosing.

"Most people spend their lives trying to find themselves, lifes about creating yourself"

-Bob Dylan

So in conclusion i know im different, and it may be intimidating but you cant just get rid of it, turns out you must overcome it, and the only way out is through and for me that began when i went within.

I am all for the rules, and being apart of this country and its society and obeying social order but as John Locke wrote in "Common Sense" that this is an unspoken agreement between the govenrment and its people that so long as they are just in ruling us" we will have to obey the law but there must be a way for its people to regain its country when tyranny and injustice is getting in the way of democratic processes and this is coming from a almost fully naturalized immigrant that came here to seek safe haven from a Democratic country plagued by unfairness. It would be a pitty to see it happen to a promise land founded of rich ideals. To those ive come to see as my own brothers and sisters, i love the ideal of true patriotism but where has it gone? If i need to be more protective of my personal privacy so that i may be able to practice my philosophical self studies, music, and comedy, to persue basic creative thinking methods openly. Then i choose this mask nit the one i was told to wear since birth. Theres always an person beneath the mask playing into the drama of this darma and we get into yoga with its fun to preten that we loose ourselves and assume the identity of the character portrayed in the scene in order to truly bring the crowd to the edge of its seat in awe and anticipation of the beauty of its poetry that at the end when the play is concluded both protagonist and antagonist join hands and the audience cheers for both equally for the dazzling deception and its cleverness for playing on the emotions of the observer.

Then the cast returns to the green room and become again who they were naturally.

Im 26 and ive found my character and im ready to submerse myself in its divine play and get involved participate, get lost in the mask of the person which is temporary but the spark behind conciousness seems to be the driving energy of existence benevolent, and eternel. Worth gambling so, now we roll the dice and hit the mystery button, just like the amnesia serum we gave ourselves before conception, into the womb we went. Only when you awaken your consciousness in the dream do you get to control the avatar, lucidly.

It doesnt seem to be a requirement, more like an EXPERIANCE badge rewarded for interesting work in the feild.

These again are ideals, not truths, thoughts and patterns worth examining and if capable entertaining till the conclusions and realizations of truth or delusion run their course. If you havent reached that point you havent really thought it through logistically right?

Lets discuss this comment below.

[bassant-m]

My 21 birthday

Hmmm, what can I say now I turned 21 two days ago, I still remember that time as a kid when twenties were so far away and seemed way different from how they really are for me now. I always thought sticking to 18 would be perfect but life goes on and we can't stop time right ?. Anyways, I feel so lucky to the way I spent my 21st birthday although I didn't actually celebrate and there was no cake or wishes or even candles but I love the fact that I spent it wandering, walking and moving. It was like a short version of how I want my life to go like or at least the upcoming few years of my life. For I only want my feet to keep moving, I don't want to settle down, or to stop for a breath, I want to have short conversations with people im never sure when I will meet again, walk aimlessly at night and have an ultimate plan of spontaneity and courage so that I treasure the blessing of all the moments , the chances and the unique experiences I would go through. My birthday started like any other earth day at 12am, I was sitting on this small cozy coach in that small cozy hostel called “Casablanca” in the beautiful Nagasaki prefecture that I fell in love with, in my beloved japan with that one unique friend who I have always been blessed to spend my little adventures with, we were sitting there trying to get our ideas across to that nice Korean stranger who could barely speak English but despite this he just broke all barriers known between strangers by a simple wave and a friendly smile and I would always feel grateful to those who find it easy to cross the fences people surround themselves by, to the ones who can initiate a conversation while waiting for the bus, or who can simply express how that color looks good on you just because they think so. to those who simply approach even if they are afraid because they know that a sweet moment of a true connection between humans is worth crossing the fear and the reservations we all have. That guy offered us ice cream and a nice late night conversation that we were simply delighted to have, a few moments later another Romanian guy decided to join and the little terrified introvert inside of me was surprised at how approachable we humans can be sometimes. That very gentle Romanian man with whom I chatted genuinely after the rest went to sleep simply reminded me of me and all the things im going through here in japan and how I bear them with a similar smile to the one he kept on his face while talking. He was just like me and I wish I told him how similar we are, how kind we both are and how much we want to approach people, to be loved and looked at with care and attention. he reminded me of how much we , -terrified like we are- would try and would be determined to try again when our reservations beat us. he must have treasured those moments when we accepted him and gave him a chance, that must have made his heart happy and has given him hope that it'd be easier one day. Those moments must be a reason that would make him smile for a while maybe even up to this very moment, just like how they made me smile for a while. He was even the same like me in the way he couldn't keep his mouth shut and in how he seemed so smart and so knowledgeable of so much, I know my friend how you know all of that. We spent a lot of time alone, we read, we go to places, we explore and we treasure all our surroundings and know a lot of things so well, we memorize names by heart and can debate and win in whatever. And we know for a fact we have a lot inside of us, so much that can blow minds and dazzle souls. He probably knows the whole historical time line of world war 2, can recite a whole poem to his one favorite poet and knows beautiful quotes from an underestimated novel that he can debate for hours to prove how beautiful it is. It was so entertaining, surprising and relieving to meet someone this similar to me that I could complete his own words and read his looks when he was talking about our common failure of constantly being alone no matter how hard we try. But it is just those moments of kindness and love when people open their hearts and let us stand out for a short time. Thats simply what I did to that kind gentle guy and that's what I wish people would do to me. In the morning me, my friend and her gentle Japanese friend were getting ready to leave Nagasaki and go back to kumamto where we would leave that lovely part of japan and go back to Tokyo that turned to be ...well , not japan ..not all japan at least and as a gesture of kindness my friends decided to take that nice Romanian guy with us in the car since we were going the same way and as expected of kindness and spontaneity that I knew he has his share of, the nice guy bought me cakes once he knew it's my birthday, one gesture I had this feeling that he would do, and I would do because that's how spontaneous we can both get when people make us feel welcome enough to show our kindness and our love. My birthday and the day after were just an ongoing sweet pain caused by that one thing that I had never and probably will never be able to handle, letting go, I have always been a childish clingy little girl. Im clingy to places, to people and to precious time. and I have the hardest time ever letting go because eventually we all have to let go, we cant stop time for that magical conversation or for that one amazing place or that incredible person. We need to let go and keep moving because simply this is what living life is all about. My words seem too deep to be describing letting go of the effect of a five-day trip not a lifetime but those little times are the worst because they expose how deeply attached we can get to temporary happiness and also because short times won't affect anyone we all can keep moving forward and never see each other again without feeling any kind of pain and that's truly the most painful thing . The fact that we have no excuse to get attached not even our feelings. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence how I had to walk alone in my university campus all the way to my room on that day after saying goodbye to my friend who had to go back to her home and to her life maybe it was a reminder on the very next day of the new year of my life that letting go, moving forward and bearing all that pain will be for sure the highlight of this very special year of my life that I'm spending here in japan like a dream. I know that I will have to walk alone again with my bags and my little broken heart one day that I wish would be far, further than what the calendar says .I will walk alone saying goodbye to my life here, the people I met, the moments I lived, and the luxury of being alone that can be irritating sometimes but I know I will miss and need when I get back to my annoyingly warm noisy home. So now I know the kind of burdens im carrying over my little shoulders and how I was reminded by them on the very beginning of my 21st year of life, through that walk to my empty quiet room. All I have now is a few wishes and a lot of love and gratefulness. I wish this year becomes gentle through the moments when I will have to face my one fear of letting go. I only feel love towards japan, my life, my loneliness and the way my heart could beat strongly for the first time (thank you❤️) and I'm always grateful to how life grants me moments of happiness, people of pure hearts and true feelings that make me feel alive.

[thxwanderer]

All the Muses

So, basically, the way my brain is set up, I have 3 sections of muses. I just never talk about it bc college saps away creativity and time? but I have : in use, periodical, and on reserve. In use are all of the ones I actively use, even if one is used more so than another. Periodical muses are muses that I switch out with current ones; I have almost the same amount of periodical muses as i do current ones, so I will probably always stick with 6-7 muses at one time. My on reserve muses are muses that are only used in specific ships or with specific people. I may make them periodical but I haven’t thought that far ahead. Note that some muses will always be in use. I don’t own any of the FCs; only characters I own are Lu, Seyong, Myungsoo, Han, and Killian.

Muses in total ; approx. 16, may end at 18.

In Use

Steve Rogers [ The Brave ] { Cappy Cap. Captain ‘Murica. My sweet tall asf boy scout. Gentle giant asf. Really nurturing and caring with basically a dad mentality at the tower. Always busy with the workings of the avengers and shield and paperwork and missions and Tony. And Bucky. but that’s another thing altogether. draws in the park in his spare time to unwind. eats too much. really likes knowing where everyone is and that they’re alright. not the best person in the world but tries to be. feels out of his depth often. super genuine and likable. awkward when hes nervous. loves Lu. like seriously, Lu is like his child. literally the reason I continued to rp when I was about two seconds away from quitting altogether. He’s a keeper. Will always be in use.

Lu Omorose [ The Sweet ] { Egyptian Mau hybrid, from cairo, egypt, got his soul split in two and hes the good half, tiny asf, will break your heart by accident be warned. used to work at a candy store bc he brought in revenue. glorified house cat. avengers tower new mascot. is honestly a child who needs love 25/7. is into archaeology tho bc he really likes old things. loves all of the avengers equally but still loves Steve more than that. is terrified of losing his family. basically my very, very first character and i’ve been rping for a very long time at this point and even after all the bs, i couldn’t give him up. even now, it makes me anxious about using him, but im so happy to still have him around. will always be in use .}

Calypso [ The Beauty ] { is based off of Calypso from The Odyssey. My red headed baddie that i love so much. Literally a goddess nymph and is the daughter of a titan. loves all the fishies. heiress so super rich. runs a floral arrangement shop to pass time when shes not modeling or attending shitty galas. part time avenger but really hates team work. loves her cat Sushi more than the other roommates except lu. Domme, wants a pet some times but knows time commitments would be unfair .}

Myungsoo [ The Tortured ] {vampire. quite emo or at least everyone thinks he is. they aren’t half wrong. wanders like Seyong but he actually prefers New York over all. is into languages so he does translations. is hella old. doesn’t like social interaction but is forced into it by his environment. likes sunrises. hates making lu cry. feels calm when he can pet jae in his bunny form because then jae won’t be able to talk. really hates people who chew with their mouth open and take their lives for granted. doesn’t like weaklings, besides lu and jae.  suddenly has friends and doesn’t know what to do about it???? might always be in use. not sure yet .}

Tony Stark [ The Gamble ] { iron man. dont get me started. super conceited. do not rain on his parade. really a huge dweeb but also can be Petty Labelle. actually loves his new little family to bits. will never say it out loud. Ask him about godric. He’ll gush like a 12 yr old. def thinks hes better than harris. will tell it to her face. has told it to her face. ha..}

Tidus Abrasax [ The Royal ] { newest character added, haven’t used him much bc im not sure where i want his character to go. is more conceited/airheaded/full of himself than Tony and that’s saying something. is fixing his damaged ship which is why he’s stuck on earth rn. lives in his invisible ship/mansion above the tower. really can’t stand humans but is trapped so might as well make the best of it. is an intergalactic hoe. avid fan of making love, as they say. is growing fond of Earth food, especially ice cream. im hoping he’ll be able to open up somewhat .}

Koriand’r of Tamaran [ The Star ] { Starfire from original teen titans. really naive. worse than lu by far. is def in love with Robin.she is so kind and sweet but also really sensitive. she lives at the titans tower. she speaks with the weirdest mannerisms and hugs strangers. really likes cotton candy. May switch out with a periodical character instead or move to reserve list .}

Periodicals

~FC for Seyong is in the process of changing~

Seyong [ The Wanderer ] { Wandering poet. Snow fox hybrid born and abandoned in Russia. much snark. rooms with Myungsoo when he’s not traveling but he’s always traveling soo??? also Myung’s self proclaimed best friend. Myung don’t claim him tho. they used to travel together before they joined the team. is afraid of being abandoned like when he was a child .}

Makoto “Lita” Kino [ The Muse ] { is Sailor Jupiter. Moved from Japan to New York. super super sweet and loyal asf. goes to culinary school. part time avenger and works best with Thor. avengers tower chef so she can practice her skill. usually bsuy with working for a restaurant. often visits Tokyo to take on enemies there with the other sailor scouts .}

Han Omorose [ The Sour ] { Lu’s twin. horrible personality tbh. will square up. i repeat: will squre tf up. leopard hybrid. taller twin, black hair instead of golden. negl he’s a lot smarter and better at basic things than lu so he used to look after him. no longer lives at the tower. rly funny tho. has a thing for leather jackets. Has a bae .}

> Clint Barton [ The Fighter ] { CLINT! YAS! Hawkeye. One of my faves. Extra sassy sauce. Follows original comics so hes deaf and uses hearing aids + can read lips. funny asf. loves to play around with lu. is sad that lu prefers Steve. usually on missions or chilling with Tasha. honestly just down to earth and seriously good people. always brings the guac and queso. dont touch his bow. ever .}

Castiel [ The Righteous ] { i don’t think anyone really knows how much i really love cas and dean and sam and crowley and bobby and charlie and KEVIN TRAN- but yeah, its angel!cas and he was never a human so he’s still horrible at understanding anything. basically season 4 cas. not sure when i want to switch him to in use ;; .}

Peter Quill [ The Adventure ] { when i initially created him, i didn’t get to use him much but he. is. so. fuckn. hilarious. based off of the movies but i have read comics. He is not so much of a hoe though. is a non-romance character. is starlord to a T. go on an adventure with him, get lost on the wrong planet, escape enemy territory, lose your mind. he’s seriously one of my funniest characters. i really like humor so i can’t help myself. he’s really witty and whenever he’s on earth, he’s super close with Wade. You can... see why... similar humor. Asks Calypso on dates, even when he’s not on Terra. She always says no. He’s not giving up .}

On Reserve

Mariano Di Vaio [ The Creator ] { College student, writer, heir to an empire. part of a poly ship with Dyl and Dani. no other interactions as of this moment. he’s from Italy and his family pretty much runs the biggest drug empire Italy has ever known. his dad wants him to take over a branch one day but all he wants to do is be a writer. Went to school in america so he could escape his overbearing family .}

Wade Wilson [ The Destructive ] { Deadpool at his finest- or worst? he’s thoughtless, clueless, dazed and confused, and deadly. dating Peter Parker. Might shift him to periodical, just not sure if anyone will want to deal with his shenanigans outside of Peter. He can really be too much at times. but you’ll never be bored .}

Killian Bass [ The Dominant ] { Half brother to Chuck Bass. Gossip Girl verse bc i’m GG trash. He is extremely businss savvy and has a condo in the upper east side when he visits his brother but he runs the branch of Bass Industries based in South Korea. Into fashion, very particular about everything. Has a pet/boyfriend, a red panda named Theo. Turns into a buttery mess for Theo. is a dom, sometimes he can be a bit uptight .}

If you made it to the end, you are a trooper. I love you. 

[beefstew252]

i was tagged by @davidbowie69​ to do this time- consuming tageroony

(answer 92 questions and tag 20 ppl)

the last

1. drink: water cuz im basic

2. phone call: mi amiga ella

3. text message: “ehehhehehehehehhe with like a million laughy face emojis cuz im too awkward to live”

4. song you listened to: telephone line by ELO

5. time you cried: probs last night when i cried myself to sleep or yesterday when i watched life and was too scared so i leaked from my seeing crevices

have you

6. dated someone twice: never even been on a date whoops im a loooser

7. kissed someone and regretted it: lhehehehehe my mommy

8. been cheated on: friend wise- yes but not like in relationships lol im not kewl

9. lost someone special: mhmhmhmhm i move everyday and am unlovable soo not a good combo

10. been depressed: lol yup yup yup everyday but i cover it with smiley face stickers and sprinkles

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: mayyybbeeee when i accidently drank a bunk of mikes hard lemonade hehehhhhehehe

list 3 favorite colors

12. yellow

13. mintish green

14. sky blue

in the last year you have…

15. made new friends: @davidbowie69​ i love my mommm 

16. fallen out of love: nope im always in love with everyone ever

17. laughed until you cried: EVERYDAY im a giggly person tbh

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really but i constantly feel like my friends talk about how horrible i am sooooo same difference 

19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet tbh <3333333

20. found out who your friends are: i think maybe if they actually love me as much as i love themmmmm <333

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what even is face book tbh

generale

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: girl i dont understand this booking faceeeee

23. do you have any pets: my dear pet rock mildred and her associate mr pebbleton (but i wanna doggo so badddd)

24. do you want to change your name: nah m8 sofia is fineeee af i think

25. what did you do for your last birthday: 4 days agooo hmmm i slept in and had avocado toast like a true millennial and went to the grocery store with my mom lol and then went to my fav place in the world an art store then had cake and watched life which was horrifying twas pretty fun

26. what time did you wake up: 10ish but usually like afternoonish whoops

27. what were you doing last night at midnight: i was watching the OA which was actually amazin tbh

28. name something you can’t wait for: WINNING THE PRESIDENCY WITH MY VICE PRES KANYE IN 2020 HONESTLYYYY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just now when she told me to do the laundry

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had stayed in one place and had real, true friendships

31. what are you listening to right now: build me up buttercup- the foundations

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no not really???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: constantly thinkin im not good enough and some “people” i know heh

34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix and gmail tbh

lost questions. i just put in random info about me

wow op was a little bitch--- keepin this in thx ellie

35. moles: yes but theyre outside and probably have rabies and are blind af and no longer are in my backyard---- jkjk yea i do tho

36. marks: everywhere on my ugly af self

37. childhood dream: i wanted to be a squirrel when i grew up sooo

38. hair color: dark brown

39. long or short hair: short shoulder lengthish??

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah everyone i meet ever 

41. what do you like about yourself: my curly af hair and strangely large energy reserves (gracias mitochondria)

42. piercings: ear piercins

43. blood type: idk man but i hope its the kind from that episode of doctor who with the aliens and they controlled u with blood or somethin and david tennant lost an arm it was wild

44. nickname: sofie, sofie dofie, didi, olaf, mr. f@#*ing compassion, slink, softpants once again, sof fresh, coneybear? leaf?, ronnie, macaronnie, charlie kelly tbh

45. relationship status: hahahahahahahahahahaha

46. zodiac: cancer, (yes i know im a crabb dont make funna me)

47. pronouns: she/her also ultimate supreme ruler of 7M tbh

48. favorite tv show: stranger things, its always sunny in philadelphia, parks and rec, the office, tbh the new show i just binged yesterday called the OA, friends, etcetcetc

49. tattoos: nope i have a very low pain tolerance

50. right or left hand: right im bland af

51. surgery: yea my poor eye lol ive had like 3 on that one alone whwhwhw

52. hair dyed different color: no id look like a uglier potato

53. sport: competitive cloud watching

54. *GASP* there is no spoon…there is no question 54…………………….  ………………………..hey remember those wayside school books because i sure do------ also keepin this im unoriginal and still dont understand tags lol

55. vacation: the moon

56. pair of trainers: white superstar adidas or grossly dirty “white” converse cuz im basic once again

plus generales

57. eating: i just ate strawberries and a grilled cheese sandwich sooo

58. drinking: w a t e r ---stay hydrated mis amigos

59. i’m about to: host the most lit party in the world tbh (mario kart and pizza binches)

60. *bo burnham voice in my head, for some reason* it’s not real. time is an illusion.------ im lazy do u see a trend????!?

61. waiting for: my next trip to the northeast cuz i miss it

62. want: a real friend tbh.        also *dr evil voice* 1 MILLion DOllaRs

63. get married: yup and i agree with the bae on “why couldn’t this have been question 64 because when i’m sixty four by the beatles is also the best song ever sooooo”

64. career: eww the future i h8 probs an astronaut so i can fly into the void

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: AWW ILL TAKE ANYTHIN

66. lips or eyes: eyes who even looks at lips eww theyre like chapped and stuff

67. shorter or taller: short lil bean or tall beans everyone is valid

68. older or younger: all the ages?

69. yOU hAVe GOt To bE KiDdINg ME wHY is 69 SKipPeD--- gracias por las cosas

70. nice arms or nice stomach: eww nice personality honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive like me hehehehhee

72. hook up or relationship: relationshippppp<3 if any soul could stand me for longer than a day

73. troublemaker or hesitant: ??????? i like robbie rotton

have you ever…

don’t we need tequila  apple juice for this part

74. kissed a stranger: no but today i made a snarky comment quietly about a kid who was smoothie drinkin and bikin and we made solid eye contact for like 30 secs sooo same difference

75. drank hard liquor: i licked vodka once it was gross and i almost threw up

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: jason sat on and broke my glasses once so same thing

77. turned someone down: yeah the monster livin in my drawer tried to take me to the movies once and i was like BOI UR A MONSTER LIVIN IN MY ROOM COME ON

78. sex on the first date:   eWWWWWEWWewewewewwwwew

79. broken someone’s heart: hah no one has ever liked me in the history of the human race sooo

80. had your heart broken: everyday

81. been arrested: im what the police call “an angel”

82. cried when someone died: every time my fav character died or any other time im an emotional lil bean honestly

83. fallen for a friend: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehhehe

do you believe in…

84. yourself: eww no i suck

85. miracles: one time someone said i was pretty 

86. love at first sight: yes i’m certain that it happens all the time STEALIN IT ELLIE SOZ NOT SOZ

87. santa claus: yes yes yes 

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmmmmmmidkman

89. angels: me

other

man, op really ran outta ideas here

90. current best friend’s name: none of my “best friends” think im their best friend too soooo no im a lonely person but if i had to say somethin itd be russell crow(e?) as javert tbh

91. eye color: poop brown

92: favorite movie: all of them but also good will hunting, cinema paridiso, life is beautiful, dead poets society, breakfast club, 16 candles the list goes ONNNNN man

well, it’s been real

i tag vlad putin and jeff

[jjps]

My favourite JJP fics. [listography]

→ Citation ♡ {favourite}

When the one book he needs for an important term paper has to remain in the campus library, Jinyoung catches the eye of Jaebum, a library assistant.

→ I Fix Nothing, I Let It Go ♡ {favourite}

I wish you could die with me, Jinyoung definitely said. He had sighed and snuggled closer, slotting his jaw into the crook of his neck, placing himself like an ornament in a nook, content to stay hidden forever.

→ I Can Be What You Want ♡

Where Jinyoung's attempt in running away from his problems leads him to awkwardly meeting Jaebum and maybe, sort of, kind of falling in love with him.

→ Lavender Notes ♡

Two years later, jaebum is still in love with jinyoung.

→ Caramel Macchiato Days ♡

In his last year of high school, jaebum joins a band and falls in love with his best friend.

→ You Have Stolen (My Heart) ♡ {favourite}

In retrospect, maybe a stripper would have been a better alternative to getting a hybrid as a pet.

→ In Heat ♡ {favourite}

Jaebum comes home to Jinyoung in need of immediate help.

→ Don’t You Remember? ♡ {favourite}

Jinyoung gets someone standing in front of the door. It's not just anyone though.

→ Protect My Wounded Heart ♡ {favourite}

Jinyoung’s been abandoned by his family, so Jaebum takes him home.

→ Before Midnight ♡

Because Jinyoung is worth crossing the fine lines.

→ Only ♡ {favourite}

Mindless plotless pointless domestic fluff in an AU where Jaebum is a model and Jinyoung is a writer.

→ We Fit Together ♡

With all the mornings he spends in bed with Jaebum instead of going to class, Jinyoung's probably going to fail poetry this semester

→ Bed Sheets ♡ {favourite}

Jinyoung, a young man who's nothing but a “simple prostitute” (in his own words,) finds himself falling in love with one of his clients – someone who's far from within his reach and just as vulnerable as him. Complications ensue.

→ The Grandfather Paradox ♡ {favourite}

Jaebum locks himself in a cyclic normalcy of work, home, life, and the two people he now loves most in the world- his husband Jinyoung and six-year-old son Yugyeom. So when a mysterious teenager shows up in his life and messes all that up, to say that he's just a little displeased by the change would be an understatement. But Jaebum soon discovers there's more to this quiet, truthful boy than meets the eye, and knows that he has just about four days to find out why.

→ Lagoon ♡

In elegant terms, jaebum is jinyoung's sponsor. In inelegant terms, he's jinyoung's sugar daddy.

→ You're The Canvas Of My Heart ♡

I love you I love you I love you I love you,” Jinyoung writes, etching each stroke of the characters onto Jaebum’s back.

→ Wilder ♡ {favourite}

Newly graduated, Jinyoung is determined to try new things. New parties, new boys, and when Mark asks for a favor, even volunteering as a counselor at summer camp. But new experiences can get complicated, and he quickly finds himself a little out of his depth.

→ Pushing Daisies ♡ {favourite}

In which Jaebum insists he's never seen Jinyoung before, and Jinyoung insists he doesn't care, and the beginning of spring is late, but there are flowers everywhere.

→ One Day, Robots Will Cry ♡ {favourite}

Jaebum is the owner of an android repair shop. Jinyoung is a prototype that gets abandoned on his front step one night in desperate need of repairs, and also quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to Jaebum.

→ The Line That Separates Us ♡ {favourite}

When Jinyoung turns eleven he can't wait to join his best friend Jaebum at Hogwarts. He isn't expecting something as trivial as being sorted into a different house to divide them.

→ Click ♡ {favourite}

Jinyoung wasn’t dainty, or light, and he most certainly wasn’t “the personification of grace and beauty,” or any of the similar sounding bullshit people tended to spew when praising models. He did, however, seem to exude an aura of calm around him- quiet, peaceful, and steady.

→ Cause We Have No Time For Getting Old ♡

Jinyoung and Jaebum want to know if they are really the cost of their wishes from the paper stars.

→ Pretty Little Star ♡ {favourite}

There are people who make Jaebum breathless. And then there is Jinyoung who makes breathing worth it.

→ Let Me In ♡

Jinyoung lost his keys but found Jaebum.

→ Grayscale ♡

Jinyoung is a poet, who sees the world in black and white, whereas Jaebum is an artist that wants to encapsulate each colour in his work.

→ Disappear Here ♡

Homicide detective Im Jaebum's career has been steady and his personal life mostly uneventful, until the morning officer Choi Youngjae wakes him up at 3am and he finds out his childhood best friend and ex-partner has been murdered. He takes the case only to watch everything he's ever known slip through his fingers like sand and to finally figure out that sometimes life is all about finding forgiveness.

→ Make That Turn (Before We Crash and Burn) ♡

It's not the end of the world when people break up, but Jinyoung wonders why it feels like it is.

→ On The Road To Happiness ♡

Jinyoung doesn't expect much to happen when he goes to Mark's wedding. Except maybe drowning his feelings in drinks. But in a strange turn of events, that night, he ends up miles away from home without money or his memory.

→ Ghosts Of Guilt (Bodies Of Grief) ♡

Jaebum grasped Jinyoung’s shoulders so hard Jinyoung winced. "Everyone dies in that arena," Jaebum told him. “You’re never the same. You’ll never forget what happened. Just because you walk out of the arena, doesn’t mean you walk out alive.” Jaebum survived the 35th Hunger Games only to see his best friend become a tribute in the 37th.

→ Maeil ♡

Every day with Jinyoung is a blessing Jaebum will take nothing in exchange for.

→ Sweet Petals and Thrashing Thorns ♡ {favourite}

Jaebum's hopelessly in love with Jinyoung and it feels as if he's fourteen again, drowning in the wrath of first loves.

→ Ease ♡

He's made of stars and the fabric of dreams, that man.

→ Yellow ♡

A world where jaebum is a tired medical student and jinyoung has a yellow umbrella.

→ Wildcat ♡

No one really talks about it, but it's a well known secret that Jaebum’s real vice is racing cars. Dangerous and incredibly illegal, street racing is the one thing Jaebum is good at (besides being the nation’s first pain in the ass) and has never been caught for. How he does it, nobody knows: Jaebum's been caught for drugs, for stealing, for fighting, but it seems like the one thing the police can never pin him down for is the one thing he loves the most. He represents everything that Jinyoung can't stand, and Jinyoung hates him.

→ Better Late Than Never ♡ {favourite}

An AU in which Jinyoung and Jaebum are both pretentious rich boys who go to a prestigious college. All their lives they've hated each other, constantly competing for attention and approval from each other's parents and peers and just generally despising each other. But when Jaebum suddenly disappears in high school, Jinyoung doesn't have to worry about him anymore--until Jaebum shows up at Jinyoung's college five years later and everything goes straight to hell. Disastrous photoshoots, drunken camaraderie, and aggressive makeout sessions.

→ Pace Is Trick ♡

Jaebum was always so sure that he'd never hurt Park Jinyoung ever again--after growing up hating each other, cosmic justice planted them in the most incredible relationship either of them have ever had, and he's convinced that it's forever. That is, until, work gets in the way. The day Park Jinyoung walks out on him is the day he feels like he'll never be able to breathe again.

→ Definite Soul ♡

In this world, people just wants to be acknowledged. Praised for their acting. Applauded for their singing. Or just by doing their job well. But a select few just want to be remembered.

→ Glass Fingertips ♡ {favourite}

On that cold hard ground, surrounded by a hundred blank faces, Jinyoung wonders, with his arm burning and his head spinning, how he had possibly managed to find his soulmate, and how he had lost them.

→ Sempiternal ♡

No matter what, Jaebum will always ask first before kissing Jinyoung.

→ You Think You've Tried Love, I'll Give You More ♡

Jaebum films Jinyoung's life as a dancer for his senior thesis. Jinyoung falls in love along the way.

[longhairfreakypeople]

It bothers me so so much when someone takes my idea (or anyone else’s idea) and “makes it their own”, or takes credit for it. Granted if I never saw someone copy these glasses, #kyramade from 2012, I probably would have never gotten around to making a good quality version like I intended. So there are more reasons for these events to occur, I understand. The unaccountable part of me is really tired of feeling like I’m competing with myself. On the other hand I’m also a little suprised it doesn’t happen more often honestly. I almost constantly have been carrying around the belief/ fear that “people aren’t original and steal ideas”, or something to that extent, since I was a child. Which I know isn’t true, there are so many people in the world who create unbelievable art, from a place of complete authenticity. This belief is probably karmic and is also one of the reasons I am afraid to shine. It has always bothered me passionately watching people copy anyone else’s ideas, not even just my own. So I know that it is much more than just the fear that someone will steal my ideas too, it bothers me to my core when someone isn’t being themselves. I believe that a big part of my purpose as a human is to influence others/ the collective conciousness, to become their most authentic self as I become mine. Of course I understand the mirroring aspect as well. Am I always my authentic self? Lol no. I hide so much of myself from the world. I know one thing that I’m good at and I hide behind it. Probably so that I have an excuse to not grow (in progress), but I know it isn’t authentic. I do things even with Kyramade that aren’t in alignment with myself. It kills my true self to duplicate pieces that I’ve already created, my art and inspiration is in the one of a kinds. Don’t even get me started on showing authentic feelings lmao, working on it. But I totally have been noticing that I attract people and situations to reconfirm my fear/ belief that nobody is original/ nobody is themselves. Although i am so grateful for my talents, part of me feels guilty, like it is kind of easy for me to say.. I realized (accepted) my talents and passions pretty early on in life, and they are also so SO SOCIETAL. Which doesn’t actually necessarily mean easier… My soul chose a path that was meant to have extreme mental and emotional challenges, for my learning. My soul chose a path where right now I am not valued for what I am. In this mass producing, commercial state we are in. For example, the fashion industry, which I “unfortunately” seem to fall the closest under the category of - is literally based on copying, following trends, repeating trends, changing up others ideas to make their own, etc.. I am “competing” with unauthenticity. Even if my work doesn’t seem like the most original work ever, because of this world of commercialism that we live in, where it’s been made totally acceptable to use others ideas. It is to me. I know that my ideas mostly come straight from within me. I do not “inspire” myself with photos, other people’s work, magazines, the Internet, searching ‘inspo’…. I make an effort to be influenced by others as little as possible. I know this as my truth. Sometimes I get uncomfortable when I don’t have a title for myself. I don’t resonate with being a fashion designer obviously, and even artist doesn’t feel suiting to me. This part of me, what I do, what I create, is literally just who I am. Such a confusing path for my soul to choose, but makes painful sense to me. I have had a few people challenging my beliefs. They believe that good things come from copying others, they view it as inspiration. But these people have not been people I view as artists (lack of better word) or original, or authentic. A lot of people don’t understand. How could you really? If you don’t know what it feels like to have original ideas and really create? I hope everyone chooses to experience the feeling of creation. I believe that everyone is an artist of life. I think anything can be an art. We went from people being oppressed to express themselves to everyone in 2016 being like “I’m an artist”. Which is totally true, just not in the way that we think. We are just staying in societies box one way or another. We are locked in this idea of what art is. We think being an artist only means being a painter, writer, musician, poet, photographer, etc. We think these are the only ways to be creative or create. But to me it’s so much more. Dont limit yourself to societies standard of art or talent. Everyone wants to be an artist but they don’t except themselves or their artform. I see too many people making mediocre “art” influenced/ watered down from others work. But what is art to me truly!?!? It’s simply something that INSPIRES us. ANYTHING. Our souls crave to be inspired. The most creative you feel is when you’re using someone else’s idea, putting your own spin on it? :-( Breaks my heart. That is not inspiration that is copying. And your poor lil soul. It craves awe (mums realization hehe) we crave to be in AWE. to feel!!! Not to live life getting temporary validation for something we didn’t create. Life is art, art is creation, life is creation. The word “artist” is either becoming so overused and meaningless to me, or it is becoming so meaningful and vast. Like why couldnt science be an art!? Sometimes i think about something like scared geometry and think to myself there is a freaking beauty to the universe that i cannot even fathom. Endless possibilities. And thats math! Why cant math be art? I think about how beautiful the universe is and how these incredible souls chose their path to bring this info to the world. I also think about how this is not my path. My path is to influence the mass conciousness to remind us why we are here as individuals. There is a reason we are human, and a reason we chose the exact body and experience that we did. You are so much bigger than you realize. Let your light shine. Dont hide behind someone elses ideas, someone elses light. I think about the what ifs: what if all the game changers throughout history hadn’t shown their lil lights. I truly believe every single human has been given (chosen by their soul) specific, unique talents. Some people (most?) will never realize their true talent/ purpose. Maybe because they are afraid to shine, accept who they are, or maybe their role in society isn’t typical, or better yet hasn’t even been created yet!?! (Isn’t that an exciting thought).. Their are so many people being mediocre at something in society. Or being “crafty” copying someone else’s art. And those are just cheating themselves out of becoming their most authentic self. But that is when the world changes. When each of us as individuals do what we were made to do. I sincerley doubt your highest purpose is to be “crafty” and copy others. Please dont cheat yourself. Accept who you are, it will be the greatest gift you give to yourself/ the world. I have friends who literally only play dress-up, every single day. Dressing up as something else is honestly fun once in a while, but there's a point where it becomes dangerous. When you stand there and say "this is who I am". This is why trends can be dangerous. It's naive to think the way we dress isn't important or just surface. Of course it isn't all that we are, but it's totally an extension of ourselves. I often feel like the only person who can see how much pain my friends and people around me are in. It is so painful to reject your true self. Each day they pretend this new mask they put on is "who they are" they become further and further away from seeing them self, loving them self. It makes me really sad because I personally don't think they would be trying so hard to stand out if they were put on the earth just to be another follower. So here I get to the part where I know that the way I react to people stealing ideas, usually by ignoring it or getting upset, is not working for me anymore. I am usually so passive in life, so speaking my truth right now is really making my authentic self happy. I am in the process of changing my belief to “everyone is their most authentic self”. In the meantime to keep myself sane, I know I cannot change others. I also know that each time you copy someone else you become further and further from your authentic self. And I will not take that on anymore. All I can do is focus on myself and continue to accept who I am, until I figure out exactly what I am to learn from these experiences. Does all this mean that i have become completely authentic and now im perfect? No. It means I am completely open to seeing myself and loving who i am. Authenticity has got to be the truest form of self love. Also if anyone has experienced these challenges and successfully reframed it for themselves pls pls talk to meee 🙏

[whore---ible]

hella bored once again. jk i just really like quizzes.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? 50/50 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i hate the cold and i hate wind 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissue hahaha 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i like mocchacino or a latte 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yes? 6: do you keep plants? no i’m not good for their health but i would like to 7: do you name your plants? no i just told you i’m a murderer -_- 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i write 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yea 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? whatever i feel like doing 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? im so white im translucent 12: what’s your favorite planet? the little prince’s planet 13: what’s something that made you smile today? my mom was being funny earlier. i rarely see her like that. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? white, minimalistic but super artistic at the same time. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! no 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? alfredo/mushroom 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i like my white hair rn but i miss my pink hair 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i did twerk on a car that was at a red light in the street juste beside a bar. everybody was looking at me….. i was so drunk i puked just after that lil dance. 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i rarely write in it but i write who i had sex with and who i love and things like that so i’ll be able to stalk them when i’m older 20: what’s your favorite eye color? green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my little black leather backpack. 22: are you a morning person? not at all 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix and chill 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? nop 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? an “haunted” hospital 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my high top white vans 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint 28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, but watching the sunrise is always funnier bc i guess im drunk with my friends somewhere cool 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i dont know man. i think they are all super cute when they laugh. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, in bali, its too long to explain but i thought i would die or get kidnapped or whatever 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i dont really care. i mostly wear black socks. i would like to have some cooler socks but i cant find them anywhere. i dont know where to buy fuxking socks man. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. im always with friends after 3AM come on 33: what’s your fave pastry? croissant 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? dont remember 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? i’m into massive attack these days 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like it clean but im a mess 38: tell us about your pet peeves! my pets are boring af 39: what color do you wear the most? black and grey 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? im slways always always wearing 4 rings. two that i bought when i was leaving for bali, one i bought in cuba i think and one i received as a gift after i had a threesome bc the girl didnt want me to forget her 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? charlotte before christ 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! cafellini, my friend owns it 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i cant remember  44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? dont know. its rare. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yasssss 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. huh 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? why the fuck would i ban any food i love food 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being kidnapped. and yes it is. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? not really. the last one was from de band “scyzzors” 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? all my bracelet from differents event i go 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? les sentiments humains - pierre lapointe 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? …. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? those are some cool classic movies 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? cath 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? i kissed someone to make sure i could still be attract by men 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? big smile, kindness, honesty 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? won’T do that 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? i think we’re all wine moms lol

59: what’s your favorite myth? that people get wild when its full moon

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yea i like contemporary poets 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? i gave nothing for my mom'd last birthday bc i was in bali... that was stupid. i received an unmbrella last christmas. i never use fucking umbrellas. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nop. just water and coffee. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? im fussy about my book, not my music. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? sure 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? super simple. a crown in delicate wood with some pink and white orchids. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i'm a little bit scared but i find it beautiful. 68: what’s winter like where you live? fucking cold. too much snow. 69: what are your favorite board games? i would say destiny wheel. but i prefer cards. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? yes 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yesss 73: what are some of your worst habits? im a mess 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. ughhh 75: tell us about your pets! theyre fucking cute but soooo boring. im allergic to them tho so maybe thats why i found them so boring lol. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hmmmm nop 77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h8club 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? i dont know man people do cute things all the time you just have to open ur eyes 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? yea three walls are white and one is black. it makes the room look bigger. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. uasjdbskfd 82: are/were you good in school? yea  83: what’s some of your favorite album art?  84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? nan i think i have enough for now 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nop 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? hmmmm café de flore 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i dont know 89: are you close to your parents? i dont talk to my father and i have a difficult relationship w my mom 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i loooooove montreal, especially in the summer 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? maybe ill return to bali 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i’m drowning in cheese 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? almost my natural hair, they have waves 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me 95: what are your plans for this weekend? i’ll get drunk for sure bc it’s my weekends birthday 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? i procrastinate, there are tooooo many 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? zodiac 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? this autumn, and yea it was cool 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. i have a lot of those 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the past so i would do things differently

[tinyolsen]

Odds!

o 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Sort of level but if anything more milko 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Post it notes, traintickets, bus tickets, anything tbho 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes if my mouth is open/ showing some teeth cos idk it feels weird but to quote my mate I have “a cheeky lil smile” so o 7: do you name your plants? I have a mini cactus called oucho (see ed and oucho from cbbc) o 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes if no one is around, I was singing in the kitchen in my uni accom and the cleaner walked in, I nearly diedo 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Bert box, hughhhhhhhh and hades without any of the weird shito 13: what’s something that made you smile today? I went to a talk by sunny Jacobs and peter pringle and when they said we have 4 goats and live together, I beamed they are sooo cute (btw look them up their story is amazing)o 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Venus is 462 Co 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I wont dye it but like dark blue/ black like gabriella in hsm 2o 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do I have three, one for cute memories, one for random facts and one that has doodles in it mainly of my dogo 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My fav bag is no bag ever, cos effort to carry but my mufc hold all, has been to football tournaments, dance shows, America and back and its now under my bed at uni with spare towels and tea towels ino 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Play guitar, catch up on tv just chill, don’t think about work, go to the park and just sit and take pictures, dance in the kitchen (opps thing)o 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I have never broken in anywhere o 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Cherry o 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of them does a sideways smile when you say her nameo 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love patterned socks, football socks, trainer socks, slipper socks, but I have to wear just plain black trainer socks otherwise I think someone is judging me, but I really love my monkey and banana ones they are burgundy I also just got iron man, spiderman and captain America ones from my mateo 33: what’s your fave pastry? Puff, comes ready rolled, is vegan and I use it to make cheese straws for my flatmates (I have just been told that this means pastry thing, in which case cheese straws) o 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yessssss! I just bought purple and blue highlighters cos I had to get rid of my old ones (long story) and they are awesomeo 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it lived in but not messy, and clean o 39: what color do you wear the most? blacko 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, its just inspiredo 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Someone who I dated for a bit but id like to forget that plsssso 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? lol noo 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Custard o 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really cos I often don’t like full albums, unless its Rumors – Fleetwood mac but I bought when you love someone (acoustic) – James TW on itunes if that countso 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My brother and little things cos we have a funny joke with it (funny to us)o 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, no, no , yes/ loved it, n/a, n/a, and loved it.o 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? eaten a tub of ice cream to prove that I could bite ice cream for more than just one bite, I stared the girl in the face and bit every spoonfulo 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Awake, course, you are lying if you say you don’to 59: what’s your favorite myth? The Trojan horse was the first one I ever learnt in year four and it will always be my fave, but Icarus and Daedalus comes closeo 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? This all happened this Christmas, I gave my dad a mug saying “im retired (emphasis on the tired)” and my mum gave me bin bags (im an excellent gift giver just ask my family, I out do them all every year) o 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?  As long as the books are upright with small in the middle, large at each side idm, and my music is on specific playlists on my phone (i.e fast walking playlist, chill walk playlist)o 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Quite a few people from school, and the three awesome people who made my dance class epic (going to uni and leaving them sucks)o 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Awesome, if im okay anyway cos its so prettyo 69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly cos I rule at it, block us and scrabble with my grandparents cos they like to use non English words/ made up oneso 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Good ol’ cuppa (Yorkshire tea bags) o 73: what are some of your worst habits? I isolate myself, blank out, cant react to other peoples emotions and I pop my shoulder in and outo 75: tell us about your pets! Omggg, Alfie the cute lil puppy is my bae, hes the light of my life, hes a cavalier king Charles spaniel and he’s the best boy, the only guy bar my lil brother I trust. And then my rabbit, leon the lion lop, died just before xmas, I miss the lil fluff but he was the cuddliest thingo 77: pink or yellow lemonade? After learning that this probably means American style lemonade, yellow. But uk style, lucazade pinks one is pengo 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My best mate gives my the best handmade cards all the time, that and a date gave my guitar picks with my name on onceo 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. grey pebbles imagine if you put the clearest water blue stripped though out it or a grey and blue stepsil mushed together o 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk tbh not gonna lieo 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? On and off, and probs the one amazing fantasy ive reado 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Dead poets society, 50/50 and some others I cant think ofo 89: are you close to your parents? Ish, um naho 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Back home and idk where else yeto 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Side parting and just brushed, nothing fancyo 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Do uni worko 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Infj, Aquarius and ive had Hufflepuff, ravenclaw and Gryffindor in recent weekso 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Scars to your beautiful, facing west cover and halo- lewis Watson

thank you :)