#like the only explanation is that Toni&Mariah are doing too good

[elitewrestlinghoe]

CAN THEY STOP MAKING THE RHEA/LIV STORYLINE HETEROSEXUAL (AT BEST BISEXUAL BUT ITS REALLY NOT THERE YET) ?!? YOU HAD SO MUCH QUEER SUBTEXT HISTORY BUT WE ARE FOCUSING FAR TOO MUCH ON DOM! HE IS A PAWN! HE IS THE COMPHET PIECE THAT REALLY ISNT IMPORTANT BUT WE PRETEND HE IS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SUMMER OF LESBIANISM BUT WWE ISNT CONTRIBUTING!!!

[loverofthefiction]

I (don’t) Hate You

Summary: You and Peter don’t exactly get along, but what will happen when Tony is over it?

Peter Parker x reader (can be read as a Stark!reader)

Word Count:  2279

Warnings: some harsh words (i broke my own heart oof), angst and fluff

Author’s Note: oh hi i’m back uwu. i’ve been having bad writer’s block and literally no ideas when it comes to stories. So please send some requests! i swear i’ll so my best :’)) Anyway, enjoy!!

He tasted blood in his mouth and felt the life in his body practically draining away.

But really, it was just another Tuesday.

You had tried your best to get to him as fast as you could, but with a whole pack of bodyguards that had somehow went unaccounted for in your first sweep of the area, they had gotten to him before you had.

The mission was supposed to be a solo mission but since Peter was practically new to the whole ‘avenging’ thing, Tony told you to tag along in case something went wrong. But the three of you knew that really, Tony wanted you to go on a bonding mission and maybe learn to get along.

See, you and Peter didn’t exactly get along. You had tried when he first joined the team, but he was cold against you so you opted to return his feelings. The charisma he showed towards certain people did sometimes anger you (how the hell were you so different from them to not be worthy of his smiles or stupid jokes?) and the utter enthusiasm he wore when he was paired with Steve or Natasha? It felt like a slap to the face. But you weren’t jealous. Nope. Absolutely not.

It was stupid from the start; Peter had been a crime fighter for years, you were sure he could handle a little mission like this.

But alas, Tony was in charge of the both of you and you had to comply, whether you agreed with him or not.

It only took you a few hits to the face and a kick to the gut before the guy that had taken Peter was lying on the floor unconscious (maybe a little dead).

“What the hell took you so long?” he grunted as you freed him from the confines of the chair he was in.

“Oh you know, just raided their pantry really quickly, rich people have the name brand shit.”

He stayed quiet in response to your stupid comment as you both stealthily snuck out of the large mansion you were in, knocking out the few bodyguards that you found in your way.

Soon enough, you reached the outside where he held you close, much to both of your dismays, and webbed you away near the extraction point.

“How’d it go?” Tony asked as you and Peter stomped onto the Quinjet.

“Awful. He complained the entire time,” you grumbled.

“Me? I was complaining because you almost got me killed! All because you don’t know how to scope a perimeter right!”

“It’s not my fault they had twenty bodyguards hidden in their basement or something! Next time, why don’t you shove your opinion right up your-”

“Hey! That’s enough!” Tony yelled, stepping between the two of you before it escalated. “Listen I don’t know why you two have this issue, but I suggest you figure it out by tomorrow morning or you’ll both be kicked out of the Avengers.”

Your jaw dropped and Peter’s eyes widened.

“Tony!”

“Mr. Stark, you can’t do this-”

“Of course I can, and I will if you two don’t get your shit together. As soon as we get to the compound, I’m locking you two in a room and you won’t be let out until you’ve controlled yourselves.”

“This is bullshit,” you spat.

“I suggest you watch your mouth or else I’ll move up the deadline.”

..

“Alright,” Tony opened the door to a bedroom neither you nor Peter had seen before, “tick tock, kiddos. I’ll be back in the morning.”

And with that he shut the door, even being sure he locked it with a key before you heard his content steps leading away from it.

You were sitting on a chair towards one side of the room and Peter had situated himself at a desk on the other side, both of you staring daggers into the other.

“I absolutely despise you,” he growled.

“I feel the same way, darling,” you spat back.

“Idiot,” he sneered.

“Jerk,” you retorted.

“Asshole.”

“Moron.”

“You know, why can’t you just get it through that thick skull of yours that you need to stop being such an arrogant douche all the time?” you spat.

“As soon as you realize you’re not better than the rest of the world and that you have got to get that stick out of your ass.”

“I do not have a stick up my ass!” you yelled.

“Oh you do, sweetheart, and you need to get it out before you start kicking puppies and taking candy from children.”

“Oh, that’s it!” You stood up from the chair, fuming. “I can’t believe Tony would ever hire a dickhead like you! The only explanation would be out of pity! I mean, a wannabe superhero orphan glad to save the day just to make the last few people in his life proud? It’s a perfect sob story!” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth but it was too late to turn back now.

You saw the pain your words caused Peter take effect quickly and he turned away from you.

“That was a low blow, Y/N.”

You opened your mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. Your heart ached and you couldn’t imagine what his had felt like.

Shame causes you to fall back down onto your chair and your words echoed through your head.

After a while (minutes? Maybe half an hour or more), you finally gathered enough courage to croak something out:

“I-I’m sorry, Peter. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean it.”

The room was silent, so you continued.

“The truth is,” you sighed, “I don’t hate you. I just hate the way you treat me. I think you’re a cool guy and I really admire the passion you have towards this line of work. Most people would have cracked in a month with all the things we see, but you, you’re a true hero.”

You heard him sigh and he turned his head slightly towards you.

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then… I’m sorry too.”

“For what?”

“I’ve been an asshole to you since the moment I’ve met you.”

“Oh Peter, you don’t have to-”

“But I do, I have to apologize. I felt pressure or some sort of competition between us and as soon as I realized there really wasn’t any, my pride was too strong and I… I don’t know, kept running with it I guess. I felt like it was too late to change, but now I realize that it never was.”

“Alright, so what do you say we start over?” You stood up and walked toward him, stopping when you were right in front of him. As soon as you had his full attention, you held out your hand. “Hi, my name is Y/N, nice to meet a new coworker.”

“I’m Peter,” he chuckled, taking your hand and shaking it. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

..

It had been two months since that time spent alone with Peter and it had worked, to say the least. You two were practically inseparable now.

In that span of two months, you had grown the closest you had ever been with anyone; he became your best friend, the one who you can share secrets with and who you can laugh at the stupidest things with.

The team didn’t mind your new closeness at first, they actually encouraged it. But now it was getting a little too much for their liking.

“Hey, kids,” Steve greeted as he walked into the common room where you and Peter were watching a movie, his head on your lap and you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Hi,” you both said in unison.

He sat on the couch adjacent to the one you were sitting on.

“So are you two…” he pointed between the two of you and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“No, we’re just-” you stopped your fingers midway through his hair- “close.”

“Yeah,” Peter cleared his throat. “We’re best friends.”

“Ok.”

Steve got up and walked away, leaving the two of you confused.

“What do you think that came from?” Peter asked.

“I have no idea.”

..

“Y/N, you’re doing better on your left side, keep practicing as I told you,” Natasha said as the both of you walked out the training area after a session.

“Thanks, I tried to have Peter practice with me but he wouldn’t do it because he was scared I’d hurt him.” You bit your lip, your mind immediately going to the goofy face he would make whenever you suggested training together.

“You two have gotten really close, huh?”

“Yeah, we tell each other everything.”

“Ok.”

“Why is everyone so weird about it? Steve had the same reaction.”

“It’s obvious.”

“What is?”

“How you two really feel about each other.”

“We’re best friends.”

“But you want to be more than that.”

“No I don’t, it would mess things up.”

“Ah, so you do have feelings for him.”

“No, I don’t,” you looked down so she wouldn’t see the blush sneaking on your face.

“I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know what I’m talking about but I also know you two would be really good with each other. And maybe we wouldn’t have to deal with your cuddling shit anymore.”

She patted your back and walked out of the room to probably take a shower, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

..

“Hey, Tony,” you greeted as you walked into his lab with two cups of coffee. He immediately put the wrench he was working with down and took the mug you offered.

“Hey, kid, what’s new?”

“I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you… do you think Peter has feelings for me?”

“Absolutely.”

“What?”

“Everyone knows. Look,” he looked around the lab. “Hey, Mariah!”

“Yes?” an intern looked up from her work on a desktop.

“Who is Peter in love with?”

“Y/N, sir,” she responded.

“Thanks,” he said and looked back at you. “See? It’s so obvious.”

“Oh… then what do I do?”

“Leave that up to me, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

..

It had been a week or two since you hung out with Peter, and you were starting to get worried. Did you accidentally say something wrong? Maybe you had just not noticed…

The fear and guilt were so bad that they kept you up some nights, your fingers itching towards your phone, wanting to text him, but the rational side of you would put it away as to give him his space.

“Hey, Y/N,” Tony greeted, the usual bags under his eyes weren’t as prominent, meaning he actually had gotten rest, and answered why he was so peppy that morning.

“Hi, Tony,” you grumbled, nursing a (strong) mug of coffee.

“Have you seen Peter today? I asked him to come to the lab but he didn’t show up.”

“No, I haven’t talked to him in a few weeks.” The sentence sent a small ping of pain in your chest but you kept it to yourself and stared at the mug in your hands.

“Hmm… maybe you should go to your room and, I don’t know, take a nap, watch a movie, doodle in a coloring book, whatever kids do these days.”

“Tony…” you narrowed your eyes at him in suspension. “What are you doing?”

“Not trying to make you go to your room obviously.”

When he saw that you hadn’t budged, he rolled his eyes.

“Just go, trust me.”

“You’re not tricking me into having to disable one of your bots again, right?”

“No! Now off you go! Scram!”

“Fine!” You got up and stared at him until you had left the kitchen, cautiously walking to your room. Since you hadn’t had much sleep lately, you also hadn’t spent much time in your room either. Most nights, you stayed up and hung out in the common room or in a lab, getting ahead on work for the next day and so on.

When you got to your room, you creaked the door open carefully.

At first glance, everything was normal.

Until you heard someone clear their throat beside you.

“Jesus! Peter!” you shouted upon realization. You immediately wrapped your arms around him.

“H-hey, Y/N,” he stuttered, caught off guard by the way you threw yourself at him.

“Where have you been?” You let go of him to look at his face. “And why are you dressed in a tux?”

“It was Mr. Stark’s idea.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Then, his eyes widened in realization. “Oh! These are for you.”

He handed you a bouquet of flowers from his shaky hands and you smiled.

“Thank you, Peter! These are beautiful.”

“Like you,” he said nervously.

“Let me guess, Tony told you to say that.”

“Yes, but I actually mean it,” he smiled. “Sorry, I’m really bad at this…”

“At what?”

“Asking people out…” His hand went back to rub the back of his neck again.

“I think you just did,” you chuckled. “The answer’s yes by the way.”

His shy smile grew to a proud grin and he stood a bit more confidently.

“So do you want to go get breakfast?”

“As long as we can go to McDonald’s,” you grinned back.

“Oh thank you, I really need to change out of this tux.”

“Go, I’ll be ready in a bit.” You watched him as he practically skipped to the door. “Oh, and Peter?”

“Yes?”

You walked up to him, held his face in your hands and placed a small kiss on his lips.

“You’re pretty too.”

[e-namor-a]

Masked Pt. IX

WHOOO I’M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS

It took forever, I know and I’m so so sorry, depression and ADHD are a goddamn bitch. 

Also shoutout to @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen for reading and helping me figure out my messy af story. thank you elle <3

Come scream at me later, I have some more tidbits that didn’t make it to the story! and some backstory on Mariah I can post if yall want me to! 

So without further ado, here we go!

You were walking towards your favorite hunting ground, having stopped at all your other regular haunts for drinks. It was a club currently called Exposure, though it had changed names several times in the time since you had found. To you and the people who frequented it though, it would always be called the Church. The original owner had spent a small fortune renovating the buildings interior into something hauntingly beautiful, with al grand descending staircase, pillars, and high domed ceiling. You adored it. It’s the only place you worshipped. 

It usually had no cover charge for women, so men lined up hoping to get in and get lucky. Just thinking about it made your toes curl in anticipation. You relished the opportunity to drink and dance until you were slick with sweat and then end the night lost in some strangers bed. You had made your way to the front of the line, pushing through the line and smiling at the bouncer. He winked and mouthed a hello while opening the big carved wooden for you and ushering you inside like a VIP. You stood on the balcony of the grand staircase staring down at the crowds below you, grinning and letting the lights flash on your skin, feeling the bass reverberate in your bones, and breathing in the sent of sweat, booze and sex. 

You fully relaxed for the first time since your session with Daniel. You were ready to shine. You stood tall, with your shoulders back, chin held high and descended the staircase with a regality that caught several people’s eyes. You got to the bottom and looked around fully in your element. You strutted to the bar, swinging your hips, enjoying the eyes you felt on you. You grinned at Lucy, your favorite bartender, and held up Tony’s card between your index and middle fingers. She waved back in reply and got your usual drink. You grabbed your mojito, and sipped while leaning against the bar, looking at the crowd trying to find your prey for the night. When you didn’t find someone suitable, you turned again holding up a hand at Lucy and downed the four shots she brought you in quick succession, before grabbing your last drink and heading off immediately to the dance floor.  You wiggled your way to the center and grinned at the security guards guarding the entrance to your favorite part of the dance floor. They smirked at you while they moved to the side to let you pass.  You blew them a kiss as quickly climbed the stairs until you got the elevated part of the dance floor directly under the high domed glass ceiling. The full moon glinting brightly and it shed light on the dancers. The people around you were cast an ethereal glow that seemed all the more magical with the pulsing club lights. You gulped your drink down, the heavy alcohol leaving a warm sensation in your stomach and threw yourself into a frenzy on the dance floor. You forgot all about everything and just let the music envelop you, dancing without a care in the world.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sabrina! Hurry. The Fuck. UP! We’re already late!”, Iris yelled while rummaging through the fridge and triumphantly pulling out a half filled bottle of tequila.

“I’m going! I’m going!”, Sabrina stuck her head out the bathroom head and flashed a grin at Bucky who amusedly watched Iris sitting next to him on the couch, take deep swigs out of the tequila bottle. She pointed a ringed finger at Bucky and told her girlfriend, “You gotta make sure that  Barnes’ drinks too.” Bucky snorted, “You know I can’t get drunk, Rina. ‘Sides tequila is disgusting. Gimme a good strong whiskey.”

“Christ, you’re so fucking predictable. Babe, grab that flask in my purse and hand it to him. Bottoms up, my man. I had Nat ask around for some super-soldier worthy booze and she delivered. That should be enough to fuck you up, so I recommend diluting it with some of that ‘disgusting’ tequila.”

Bucky watched suspicious, as Iris mixed his drink with a heavy hand and held it out to him. “Bucky, take the fucking drink, like Iris said we’re already late”, Sabrina snapped, “Besides, my neck is starting to hurt from standing like this.” Bucky just looked pointedly at Sabrina, until she rolled her eyes and marched over snatching the drink from her girlfriend and shoving it into Bucky’s hand. She waited, arms crossed while Bucky just glared at her.  She raised a brow and cocked her head, waiting. Finally Bucky cracked and muttering a quiet curse, gulped the drink down. “Fuck, that was gross guys.” Bucky gagged, “So what does the drink that Natalia gave you do?” “Basically it inhibits your cells from processing the alcohol as quickly as they normally would due to the serum.  For something like, 30 hours? Though it’ll still take a shit ton more alcohol than the average person. It basically breaks down your cells and turns them normal-ish. Something like that. I got a bit lost during the explanation, I just remembered the important parts.” She grinned excitedly at him, to which Bucky grinned and tilted his head back on the cushion. She had been so very determined to have him enjoy himself and relax after the day he had had. “Oh!” She snapped her fingers, “Nat also mentioned that it’ll take like 40 minutes to begin affecting you, so you got some time to kill…” Bucky glanced up as she trailed off, watching her smile turn wolfish as she watched her girlfriend bent over trying to fish out a half empty bottle of vodka from a cabinet. He saw Iris smile seductively back at Sabrina over he shoulder and knew what was gonna happen. 

“Go. Get out. Go have fun somewhere else”, Sabrina mumbled distractedly, waving him off with her hand. 

He stood up hastily, grabbing his jacket and somewhat awkwardly made his way out of the room to the front door, glancing quickly back as he heard someone hit the coffee table All he saw, were the women kissing passionately, making their way into the bathroom. He flushed, and hustled out the door, huffing heavily in the hallway. 

They were not getting out of here anytime soon.

Letting out another slightly louder sigh he put on his leather jacket and walked out into the cool New York night heading towards a liquor store in search of some decent whiskey. If he only had a night to enjoy alcohol and its effects then he was going to drink some good shit. 

While he walked he started thinking back to earlier. About Y/N. His Y/N. God, seeing you again was a kick to the gut. He had missed you so much that there were times, usually when the sky had barely started lightening after another sleepless night, when he felt there was an actual part of him missing. He thought that you were a mirage when you had appeared in the park, that he had wished to see you again so badly that his mind had finally snapped. He had felt his heart start beating faster as he laid eyes on you. You were breathtakingly beautiful, you always had been, and all he wanted was to hold you tight. To murmur your name like a prayer. To press gentle kisses on your skin and just hold you forever. But then he got a good look at you. And his blood ran cold. 

You were still so beautiful but there was a weariness in you he had never seen before. Hard lines of rage on the planes of your face, a sort of coldness in how you held yourself, a sorrow in your eyes. The woman in front of him, she was someone he knew yet didn’t. And so he had reacted on instinct when he had grabbed you. He had wanted to make everything ok. To carry your burdens and help. To explain what had happened with Mariah and go to your old apartment. He just wanted to go home with you. Because home was with you, wherever you were. But he had ruined it; it was over so quickly. And now, all these hours later, pieces of the encounter kept replaying in his mind. How skin soft as silk under his fingers, the icy cold fury on your face, the small tightening of your lips when he called you beloved, the unending turmoil in your eyes, how you felt on top of him… All Bucky wanted was to to fix your problems and be there for you. But, Sabrina was right, he had no right to do that. He had lost that right years ago. From the moment that he started to pull away from you. From the moment that he hadn’t noticed that you were drowning, he had lost that right. 

He heard your giggle grow louder as you walked down the hallway. He put down the magazine he had absently been turning, grabbed your coat and turned to meet you, looking curiously at the very good looking woman towering over you that you were laughing with. He cocked his head, smiling softly as he noticed that you looked a lot more at ease, more at peace. “Hi honey, this is Mariah, the therapist I was telling you about,” you said, mirth coating your voice, “I’ll let you two get acquainted while I go over there to make another appointment and sort out some insurance stuff.”   You walked away as Mariah got closer to him, her predatorily bright amber eyes scanning him up and down. He shifted on his feet nervously, glancing over at Y/N in hopes that she would come over and save him from this uncomfortable situation. He was looking down at his shoes when he sensed the woman, Mariah, about to move, looking up quickly, startling her with her hand outstretched as if to touch him. He angled himself away from her, and looked at her, confused and a little peeved. 

No one was allowed to just casually touch him, just Y/N. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was trying to get your attention but you seemed lost in your own head”, she let out a shy smile and tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear, “I asked how you are doing? I know Y/N was gone for a while and I know from experience with other couples, that that reintegration back into civilian life isn’t always smooth for either person.” She cocked her head to the side, looking warmly and deeply into his eyes and Bucky felt himself start to relax. He had been having a hard time since Y/N had come back. It felt like she was there but distant and despite how warm and affectionate he was, he felt incredibly alone. He opened his mouth to respond when he saw that Y/N was on her way back so instead he just smiled and held out his hand to Y/N. “Ok, done. Let’s go honey. We can get something to eat and then go back home. Bye Mariah, I’ll see you next week!”, Y/N tugged on Bucky’s hand as she waved over her shoulder at her therapist. “Bucky, wait.” He turned to face the blonde woman who was holding out a thin card, “Here’s my number. If you ever need to talk, at any time of day, just call.” Bucky reached out and grabbed it, letting out a brief smile and following his girl out into the street. 

                                                      *********

Bucky had fiddled a lot with that card in the weeks since Mariah had handed it to him. By now, it was dog eared and worn, and though he had dialed the number but always hung up before it had rung. 

But he had finally hit his breaking point. He was fighting with Y/N again, for the third time in the past 7 days and he couldn’t take it any longer. He  didn’t want to stay out on the cold roof another night, alone. He had to talk to someone.

Anyone. He dialed the number and held his breath as it rung. “Hello?”, a sleepy voice murmured. “Uhm, hi. Is this Mariah?”, he heard a slight shuffling on the other end and only then realized that it was 2:41 a.m. and most people were asleep at that time, “I’m so sorry. I just realized that it’s really late. I’ll call at another time. Sorry.” “No, nononono, it’s ok.” Her voice got more alert as she fully woke up, “Truly. I’m used to receiving calls at odd hours of the day. How can I help you? Would you like to come in for a session?” Bucky paused, unsure, before breathing out, “Yes. Please.” “Ok,” Mariah said gently, “the door will be open, let yourself in. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Bucky made it to her office in record time, feeling desperate to not feel lonely if only for a little while. He silently opened the door, peering around it and making eye contact with the blonde who was looking at him curiously. 

“Uhm, hello, you gave me your card a couple weeks ago and I just… I just finally needed to talk,” Bucky quietly trailed off as he stood in the doorway, fiddling with the card still in his pocket, “I just didn’t know who else to turn to. Or who else to try.”

There was a pause, as Bucky wondered if he should bolt when Mariah stood up and walked toward him, hand extended.

“I thought I would never hear from you,” she smiled as he tentatively shook her hand, “come in, sit down and tell me what’s going on.”

                                            ***************

They had talked for hours that initial session. All the feelings and doubts he had just bubbled out of him and for the first time in months, he felt like he was being seen. 

Like he mattered. 

Like he existed. 

They didn’t start sleeping together till later, after another particularly nasty fight with Y/N. She had been cruel and he had just snapped. He loved her with everything in him but he was so tired of being shut out. He loved her but he wanted someone who was willing to let him in. 

To open her heart fully to him and let him love every part of them. He had ended up at Mariah’s office that night, after hours of wandering around the city and without any prompting he had kissed her. Instantly, he felt guilt surge through him, he thought he would vomit at her feet, stain her ridiculously expensive red bottomed shoes, but instead he pushed it aside and kissed her deeper, closing his eyes tighter. He had imagined that he was kissing Y/N, even though Mariah’s lips felt different, he imagined that he was holding Y/N’s soft waist, even though Mariah’s was ensconced inside a tight binder, he imagined that it was Y/N letting out the soft moans underneath him, even though Mariah’s were louder and less breathy.

At the end of it right before he opened his eyes, he begged whatever Gods were out there, that Y/N would be under him gazing at him with a loving intensity in her eyes, but instead he opened his eyes and there lay Mariah, her blonde hair fanned out, amber eyes shining in an unknown emotion. She had reached up and kissed him, pulling him to her and rolling him onto his side, twining her legs between his. She had laid her head in the crook of his arm and kissed his chest softly, giving him the affection and attention he had craved for months. In that moment, his guilt subsided and he let himself enjoy the moment. He closed his eyes again, and let her soft kisses and gentle fingers lull him into a soft sleep. 

Bucky was so lost in memories that it took him a moment to recognize where he was. He checked his watch and realized he had been walking around for like 40 minutes. He checked his phone and saw a  missed call from Iris. He clicked on the notification while walking to a store, and grabbing two bottles of whiskey. He paid and made his way outside while he heard Sabrina tell him to hurry his ass up, they were getting pretty tipsy and wanted to dance. The voicemail had just ended when Sabrina’s special ringtone had started sounding. Mildly annoyed, he had glared at her contact picture for a moment before answering. “What the fuck? I had just gotten rid of your last annoying ringtone, Sabrina.” Buck grumbled while trying to unscrew the whiskey cap. “Oh shut up Barnes, BTS is a goddamn gift.” Rina scoffed in his ear, “Besides, I know your password, it’s Y/N’S birthday, so nothing can keep me out. Anyway, where are you? We want to dance!”

Bucky gave her the address, as he took a couple of swigs out of the bottle and recapping it. “Ok, wait for us on the corner we aren’t that far away. Thankfully you aren’t that far from the club we wanted to go to. See you in a bit.” He had just hummed in agreement before ending the call and going to sit on the stoop of building. He drank a little more, letting more memories run through his mind as he waited. He remembered the time there was a spider in the bathtub and he had let out a small scream. You had burst in with his knife, on high alert. He smiled as he remembered how you had collapsed on the floor laughing so hard you were crying, while he grinned sheepishly in a towel.  

He took another swig, feeling the alcohol in the edges of his mind. He remembered the first time you had cooked Sunday dinner for your little family. You hadn’t cooked a day in your life before then, both of you living off of what Buck could cook and take out. You had been researching for days and had started cooking at 6 in the morning. The kitchen a complete mess and you were covered in ingredients with a smear of tomato sauce on cheek. You had been so proud, even though the food a little dry and a little burnt, but Bucky felt his heart swell as he remembered the smile that had stayed on your face the entire night. He remembered how it felt to feel you straddle him at night, your lips pressing open mouthed wet kisses on his neck. How it felt to nip your throat and feel you shudder as your skin became sensitive. How it felt to hold you tight as you moaned his name and cried out in pleasure, clawing his back. He remembered everything and Bucky wished, not for the first time, that he could turn back time. Instead he shook his head to clear it, and looked up to see Iris leaning out of a cab waving at him. He stood and dusted his pants, getting into the cab and finishing his first bottle of whiskey. “I never figured you for a maudlin drunk, Buck,” Iris’s small feminine voice stated. “Chin up Barnes. No sad drunks here. We haven’t let loose in ages and it’s the first time you can do it properly. Besides, the goal is to find someone for you to take home. No one wants to sleep with a sad drunk,” Sabrina said loudly leaning in closer and putting her hand on Bucky’s knee, “In all seriousness dude, Im not letting you drink anymore if I see you start to going your head. As much as I’d love to see you let loose, we both know drinking in that state of mind is dangerous. So I need you to be honest with me, tell me where your mind is at.” “I’m ok. Thank you,” Bucky let out a small smile, “I’m just thinking about Y/N and everything that’s happened. I’m not gonna disappear into my head. I’m sick of being in it. I’m gonna let loose, and I give you my permission to call Steve or Nat if I’m not.” Sabrina smiles back and grabbed her clutch, “That’s my boy. Now drink up, we’re almost at the bar and that entire bottle isn’t gonna fit in the flask I brought you. ” She grinned and watched as Bucky started chugging half the bottle before stopping and letting out a small burp. She handed him the flask and laughed as he tipsily poured it in sloshing it on his dark jeans. “We’re here! Ready to go to Church guys?,” Iris clapped her hands excitedly. Sabrina gave the cabbie some money, grabbed her girlfriends hand and pulled her out of the cab, motioning excitedly at Bucky. “Church?”, Bucky asked curiously. “Yeah. Church,” Iris pointed at the throng of people outside club at the end of the street as they started walking towards it, “It’s an old unfinished church that was abandoned in the late 80’s. It has the original pillars, domed ceiling and stained glass windows. Some trendy hipster gutted the inside and made it into a club. A close friend of ours is the bouncer and told us about it. It’s been our favorite ever since.”

“Hey Tommy!” Sabrina called out to the man in black in front of the doors, embracing him, “Long time no see! How you been man?” “Hey Rina, Iris. I’ve been good thanks. Me and the Mrs. went to the Bahamas for vow renewal ceremony a couple weeks ago. “Oh my God! Congratulations! Give Wren our love, we need to do dinner soon. I’ll call you to set something up tomorrow. Sounds good?”, she moved back as Iris hugged Tommy. Tommy smiled and nodded moving to the side and opening the doors to the little group. The girls grabbed Bucky’s hands and pulled him with them, turning and waving at Tommy as they entered the darkened club. Once inside, they all paused at the top of the staircase, Bucky’s mouth opening in awe as descended the stairs he took in the room. The room was regal and haunting. He trailed, lightly dazed, behind the couple as they made their way to the bar, chattering between themselves. They squealed as they saw a ginger woman waving at them from behind the bar. They had a round a shots on the bar top by the time Bucky got there. He got handed two and downed them without thinking, gagging as he realized it was tequila. He frowned lightly realizing that he was definitely starting to feel the alcohol. His mind was getting a little fuzzy and he was feeling free. Sabrina and Iris were right. 

He really was enjoying himself. Bucky leaned against the bar, and wait and see who approached him. It didn’t take long for a blonde bombshell walk up to him and wink coyly, motioning him to dance. He shook his head softly, all the while letting his eyes roam over her, checking her out. She smiled over her shoulder, and walked onto the dance floor, her hips swung invitingly. Bucky just smiled wolfishly, and went over the bar and signaled the bartender, downing the drink she handed him as he walked over to a giant stone pillar by the edge of the room. 

Another woman came up to him, a complete vision in a vibrant yellow dress with her skin glinting in the lights, and he let himself be led onto the dance floor. She twined her fingers in the hair covering his name and pressing herself against him as she started to dance. Bucky brought her closer, putting his hands right above her full ass as the music swelled around them. The woman pressed her full lips to his neck and he groaned, breathlessly. She nipped and licked his exposed skin as let his hands roam her body. She moaned and smirked, as she grabbed Bucky’s hand, turning and leading him quickly across the dance floor to bathrooms. They were nearly there when Bucky abruptly stopped. His muscles locked down and the woman in the yellow dress was pulled backwards onto the floor. She looked up at him, her confusion morphing to fury as she realized he wasn’t going to help, and stalked off. Bucky didn’t even notice. 

He didn’t even notice because there in the middle of the room, dancing under the full moon without a care in the world, was Y/N.

And without realizing it, he started moving towards you. He was going to… he wasn’t sure what he going to do when he reached you. He just knew that that’s what he wanted. He was almost to the edge of the stairs that led to the elevated dance floor when he veered to the side suddenly keenly aware that he needed a little liquid courage. He pulled out the little flask Sabrina had given him earlier, and took a couple of heavy swigs. 

Feeling fortified, he took a step towards the stairs and felt the room spin in a way he hadn’t since he was teenager, drunk at the small bar near the docks he worked. He steadied himself on a nearby pillar and closed his eyes for a moment.

Bucky realized he was extremely drunk, and he knew that he should go home. He knew that he shouldn’t go to you. That he should absolutely not get any closer to you than he already had. He knew the rational thing to do was to go find Sabrina and Iris and tell them he wanted, no, that he needed to leave. He knew that nothing good could come from this drunken encounter. But still, he found himself climbing those stairs, his blood pounding and his body hot. 

It was instinctual at this point, his need to get to you, like a moth to flame. It didn’t make sense, none whatsoever but that’s what he was going to do. And fuck, he was tired of thinking, he was tired of hiding, he wanted you so bad and he should’ve been better, he should’ve been there for you. He should’ve done more. He shouldn’t have been such a goddamn selfish coward. And suddenly you were right there. 

And you took his breath away.

He stared, dazed, starting forward abruptly when he realized that you were dancing in someones arms. The man was leering at you while you danced on him and the entire sight made Bucky’s stomach ache. 

He had to stop it.

 Bucky knew he had to but had no right but he just couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t handle the sight of the man touching you, his intent so very clear on his leering face. He grabbed the other mans arms and lifted him up and away from you, effectively placing himself between the two of you. The brunette man, that Bucky thought looked vaguely familiar, glared back at him, yelling something at him that he couldn’t quite make out.  Bucky just gave him the best Winter Soldier glare he could, which much to his surprise worked, despite the fact he was sure he was getting more drunk by the second. Bucky turned, clumsily, to face you only to find you looking curiously at him.  He took a small step forward, standing just a few inches away and raised his hand, wordlessly asking for permission. You stared at him for a moment longer before stepping forward ending up pressed against him, and tenderly placing his hand on your cheek and covering it with one of yours and reaching up with the other to stroke his cheek. Bucky stilled, everyone around them vanishing as he looked at you with an intensity that would’ve set the world aflame. He watched as you stretched upwards toward him, entwining your arms around his neck, gently closing your eyes and pressing your lips to his parted ones. 

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