#like the old cardigan under my bed that was just made for me

[hopeisgrey]

Tomorrow, my dream will come true.

Tomorrow, my dream...

will disappear

Kim So Yong, Mr. Queen

[svt-luna]

𝜗℘ CAN I BE HIM?

❛ 𝘪 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘪’𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘯𝘰. 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴— 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 '𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯? 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘪 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘪 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮? ❜

timeline: 2017 & 2018

synopsis: Amid the tangled emotions between Luna, Jeonghan, and Mingyu, unspoken confessions and lingering hopes weave a bittersweet narrative of love, regret, and the desperate longing to be chosen.

warnings: angst, multiple povs, narrative description heavy, cursing, crying, mentions of rejection, heartbreak, jealousy, regrets, unrequited love (?), sad!Luna, jealous!Jeonghan, jealous!Mingyu, lowkey possessive Jeonghan, secret feelings, confusions and realizations, acceptance, unrequited love, everyone is lowkey sad

read If Only first before this if you haven’t already! this one-shot is the aftermath of that story. this is also inspired by these request by you lovely humans: (request 1), (request 2), (request 3) & (request 4) happy reading, my loves 🤍🤎

sidenote… my heart aches for the three of them cause i have been on their shoes before… all three of them (also, i made myself cry again)… i promise, they’ll be fine 🥹🤍

“and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.” listening to Cardigan while writing this is not for the faint hearted…

╰ ౨ৎ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST ╰ ౨ৎ writings masterlist

Can I be him?

The thought crossed Mingyu’s mind as he sat on the cold floor of the practice room, his back propped against the wall. His dark eyes were fixed on Luna, who was across the room, quietly stretching. Her movements were methodical, almost robotic, as if her body was going through the motions her heart wasn’t in. She tilted her head to one side, letting out a soft laugh at something Dokyeom had said, but Mingyu wasn’t fooled.

That smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes told a different story.

Slightly swollen, rimmed with a faint red that hadn’t been there the day before, they seemed heavier today, carrying the kind of weight that only came with a sleepless night and a broken heart.

Luna’s smile faltered just slightly as she stretched her arms over her head, her gaze dropping momentarily to the floor. But she recovered quickly, plastering on the same bright expression that fooled most of the room.

Most of the room— but not the members, not him, and definitely not Jeonghan.

Mingyu’s gaze drifted from Luna to her shadow.

Jeonghan sat across the room, leaning against the mirrored wall, legs sprawled in front of him. His usual air of calm amusement was absent. Instead, he looked subdued, almost tired. His sharp eyes followed Luna’s every movement, his expression unreadable except to those who knew him best.

Mingyu could see the sadness there, the guilt. Jeonghan wasn’t the type to wear his emotions plainly, but Mingyu knew him too well to miss the subtle signs.

Mingyu let out a quiet sigh, his chest tightening as he turned his attention back to Luna.

She was so good at pretending.

Too good.

But not good enough to fool him.

Despite his reputation for being loud and playful, Mingyu was surprisingly perceptive, especially when it came to his members. He had a knack for reading the room, for picking up on the things people didn’t say.

And Luna, with her slightly too-wide smile and tired eyes, was screaming in silence.

His mind wandered back to the night before, right after they had wrapped up a grueling day of comeback promotions. They’d all piled into the van, worn out but satisfied with their progress. But something had been different. The usual chatter and teasing had been dampened by a palpable tension that no one could quite name.

He remembered how Jeonghan had broken the silence as they pulled up to the dorms.

“Can you guys give me a moment with Jiyeon?” Jeonghan had asked, his voice calm but carrying an edge of urgency that couldn’t be ignored.

The members had exchanged glances but ultimately agreed, leaving Jeonghan to chase after Luna to the elevators.

Mingyu had lingered just a moment longer, glancing back to see Jeonghan jogging after Luna, his expression uncharacteristically serious.

Desperate, almost.

The elevator doors had closed, muffling whatever conversation took place between the two.

By the time they arrived at the practice room today, they had both looked… normal. Talking, laughing, pretending nothing was wrong. But it was clear as day that something had changed. Luna moved with less energy, her usual spark dulled. And Jeonghan— he looked like a man carrying a secret too heavy to bear.

Then there was the matter of Luna’s swollen eyes. She’d walked in and mumbled something about it being allergy season.

Allergy season.

The excuse might have flown with someone else, but Mingyu wasn’t buying it. He knew better.

Luna wasn’t allergic to pollen— or anything but mushrooms, for that matter. And while the other members had let it slide, choosing not to push her, Mingyu had spent the entire morning unable to shake the image of her red-rimmed eyes.

It wasn’t allergies. It was something else.

Mingyu’s chest tightened again as he watched Luna push her hair behind her ear, her focus entirely on her stretches.

Luna wasn’t looking at Jeonghan. She hadn’t looked at him directly all morning. And yet, her entire body seemed to lean in his direction, like she couldn’t help but orbit him.

Her heart was crying for Jeonghan, Mingyu realized.

Whatever had happened between them last night, it had left her raw. She was trying so hard to act normal, to be okay, but it was written all over her face.

And Jeonghan— Jeonghan’s face held an ache that mirrored hers.

Mingyu had always known Luna to be someone who wore her strength like armor. She was tough, fiercely independent, and had an almost stubborn determination to handle her own struggles.

Over the years, he’d watched her laugh off bad days, push through injuries, and hide her tears behind radiant smiles.

He knew why she did it— she hated the idea of being a burden to anyone.

Even now, when her swollen eyes and tired demeanor betrayed the storm inside her, she continued to act as though everything was fine.

But Mingyu also knew her tells.

He knew the little cracks in her facade that most people missed. The way her laughter came a beat too quickly, or how she busied herself with menial tasks when her thoughts became too loud. And he especially knew how she would retreat into herself, bottling everything up until she couldn’t anymore.

In those moments, there was always one person who could reach her— Jeonghan.

Jeonghan had a way of being exactly what Luna needed.

He was always the first to notice when something was wrong and the first to drop whatever he was doing to listen to her. No matter how busy or chaotic things got, Jeonghan would sit with her, offering his undivided attention and quiet reassurances until she felt safe enough to open up.

But not today.

Today, Jeonghan was the reason for the sadness she was hiding, and Mingyu knew she wouldn’t be going to him. Not with the way she avoided looking in his direction or the way she flinched just slightly when his name was mentioned.

Mingyu had decided then and there that if Jeonghan couldn’t be the one to catch her this time, he would.

Even if it wasn’t his place.

Even if it hurt.

He’d made it his mission to be the shoulder she could lean on, at least until she and Jeonghan could figure things out.

Mingyu didn’t need to replace Jeonghan in her life— though the selfish part of him ached to hold even a fraction of the space Jeonghan held in her heart.

No, Mingyu would happily be whatever Luna needed him to be. Because she deserved to have someone in her corner.

The practice session dragged on, but Mingyu barely registered it. His attention kept flickering to Luna, who worked quietly in the corner, tying her hair up into a ponytail as the rest of the members milled about the room. She was doing her best to blend into the background, her movements measured and unhurried. But Mingyu could see the way her hands trembled slightly as she twisted the hair tie around her fingers.

He didn’t hesitate.

Before she could finish, Mingyu crossed the room in a few long strides, his heart thudding in his chest as he approached her. Without a word, he gently turned her around to face him and wrapped her in the biggest, warmest hug he could manage.

Luna froze in his arms, caught off guard by the sudden embrace. For a split second, she didn’t know who it was, but the familiar weight of Mingyu’s biceps around her shoulders was a dead giveaway.

Her body tensed at first, stiff and uncertain, but then it melted against him. Her arms came up to wrap loosely around his torso, and Mingyu felt the tension in her shoulders ease. She sank into the hug as though it was exactly what she needed but didn’t know how to ask for.

Neither of them spoke. The world around them seemed to fade away, the noise of the practice room becoming distant and inconsequential.

Mingyu rested his chin on the top of her head, his large hands moving gently to the loose tie of her hair. He pulled it free, his fingers working carefully to gather her strands and tie them properly. Luna stayed in place, her arms still around his waist, her face pressed lightly against his chest.

When he finished, Mingyu pulled back just slightly, cupping her neck with both hands as he tilted her head up to look at him. His thumbs brushed softly against her skin, and he offered her the gentlest smile he could muster.

“You did good today,” he said, his voice low and steady. “I’m proud of you, Lulu-ya.”

Luna’s eyes went misty at his words, her lips curving into a sad, soft smile. “Thank you, Gyu-Gyu,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Mingyu’s chest ached at the sight of her.

That smile— bittersweet and fragile— made him feel both helpless and fiercely protective all at once. He knew his words weren’t much, but she deserved to hear them.

Luna’s heart ached, too.

Jeonghan was always the one to tell her these things. After every practice, every performance, every small accomplishment, he would praise her for things she didn’t even realize mattered. “You did so well,” he’d say, whether it was after a grueling practice session or after a performance or something as simple as finishing her meal.

Mingyu wasn’t trying to replace Jeonghan, and deep down, she knew that. But it hurt all the same because his words reminded her of what she had with Jeonghan. And yet, it also made her heart swell with gratitude for Mingyu.

Mingyu felt the weight of her emotions, even if she didn’t voice them. He didn’t say anything, letting the moment hang between them before speaking softly again.

“Let’s eat together later,” he offered, his voice calm and reassuring. “I’ll come to your place, and we can hang out. Just you and me.”

Luna hesitated, her brows furrowing slightly as she considered his words. “You don’t have to, Gyu…”

“I want to,” he interrupted gently, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “You can tell me everything if you want or we can just watch something, okay?”

Her lips parted as if she wanted to argue, but she stopped herself. Instead, she nodded slowly. “Okay,” she said softly.

Mingyu smiled again, his hands still cupping her neck as he gave her a small nod. “Good. I’ll bring something over later. We’ll make a night of it.”

“Okay,” she repeated, her voice a little steadier this time.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And for now, that was enough.

Across the practice room, Jeonghan now stood, his against the mirrored wall, his arms crossed against his chest. Dino and Dokyeom were animatedly chattering beside him, their voices rising and falling with excitement as they recounted some trivial story from their schedule earlier that week. Jeonghan nodded absentmindedly, his lips curling into an occasional smile to show he was listening.

But he wasn’t.

His eyes were elsewhere, fixed on Luna and Mingyu, who were still locked in that quiet, private moment.

Jeonghan’s gaze lingered on the way Mingyu’s large hands cradled Luna’s neck with such gentleness, the way he tilted her head up to meet his gaze as if she were something precious. The way Luna’s tired face softened in response to Mingyu’s words, her lips curving into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Jeonghan didn’t even realize he had stopped nodding along to Dokyeom and Dino’s conversation until Dokyeom nudged his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance. “Hyung, are you even listening?”

Jeonghan blinked, his head turning slightly toward them. “Hmm?” he murmured, feigning nonchalance as he offered them a distracted smile. “Yeah, I heard you.”

Satisfied, Dokyeom launched back into his story, and Jeonghan gave another vague nod. But his attention drifted back almost immediately, his gaze locking onto Luna once again.

Jeonghan wasn’t sure what he was feeling.

There was a tightness in his chest, a gnawing sensation that twisted uncomfortably in his gut. It wasn’t something he was particularly familiar with, and yet, it felt impossibly loud in his head.

He watched as Mingyu’s hands lingered at Luna’s nape, his fingers brushing lightly against her skin before he stepped back, giving her a reassuring smile. He watched the way Luna’s shoulders seemed to relax under Mingyu’s touch, how she nodded at whatever Mingyu said with an almost imperceptible hesitation, as if she was letting down a guard she didn’t even know she had raised.

And then, like a whisper in his mind, the thought came unbidden— Can I be him?

Jeonghan’s chest constricted at the question, his heart skipping a beat as if the thought itself had startled him. The weight of those words settled heavily in his mind, lingering like a bitter taste he couldn’t shake.

But almost as quickly as it had come, the thought shifted, his mind backtracking with a sharp pang of realization.

I was him.

His fingers curled against his thighs as the words echoed in his head, quiet but insistent. He was the one Luna used to lean on, the one she sought out when the weight of the world became too much to bear. He was the one who used to coax those smiles out of her, who knew exactly what to say to make her laugh, to make her feel seen.

And now, someone else was standing in his place.

Jeonghan’s jaw tightened as he forced himself to look away, his eyes dropping to the floor. He hated how his thoughts were spiraling, how his emotions felt tangled and messy in a way he couldn’t quite unravel.

“Hyung?” Dino’s voice pulled him back to reality again, and Jeonghan glanced up, his expression carefully composed.

“Yeah?” he asked, his tone calm and even.

“Are you okay? You seem… distracted,” Dino said, his brow furrowing slightly.

Jeonghan gave a small laugh, shaking his head as if to brush off the concern. “I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all.”

But as he glanced back across the room, his eyes catching the tail end of Luna and Mingyu’s conversation, that gnawing feeling in his chest remained.

He told himself it was nothing. Just a passing moment of jealousy, perhaps. Nothing he couldn’t shake off.

But deep down, Jeonghan knew better.

Luna knew better as well.

She knew this quiet evening with Mingyu, as comforting as it was, would inevitably end with her peeling back the layers of her conflict with Jeonghan.

She knew Mingyu well enough to recognize that he wasn’t here just to keep her company or to feed her. He was here because he cared, because he had always been the kind of person who would wait patiently until she was ready to share the weight she carried.

Later that night, just as planned, Luna and Mingyu found themselves in her cozy apartment. The smell of her vanilla perfume lingered faintly in the air, mingling with the soft citrus scent of the candle she had lit on her kitchen counter. They were supposed to order takeout, but Mingyu, ever the culinary enthusiast, had other plans.

“You know, you could just sit there and be pretty while I do all the work,” Mingyu teased as he rummaged through her fridge, pulling out ingredients with practiced ease.

Luna, standing across the kitchen island with her arms crossed, raised an eyebrow at him. “And why would I do that when I can help? You do realize I’m capable of cooking, right?”

Mingyu paused, a dramatic look of skepticism plastered on his face. “Capable? Sure. But am I willing to risk my life testing that theory? Not really.”

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips twitched upward despite herself. “Oh, please. I could outcook you any day.”

“Oh, really?” Mingyu leaned against the counter, smirking at her.

“Really. I’m an amazing cook, Gyu,” Luna huffed, grabbing a wooden spoon from the utensil drawer. “I’m helping, whether you like it or not.”

Mingyu grinned, knowing she wouldn’t back down. “Fine, fine. I’ll give you a task so you don’t feel useless.” He gestured toward the living room with his chin. “Go pick something for us to watch. Something good, okay? No pressure.”

Luna narrowed her eyes at him, but she set the spoon down and wandered into the living room, already knowing exactly what she’d choose.

When she returned a few minutes later, the television glinting as the screen flashed and showed what she chose. Mingyu burst into laughter. “‘Tangled’,” he said, shaking his head fondly. “Why am I not surprised?”

“What’s wrong with ‘Tangled’?” Luna asked, feigning offense as she arranged the table in front of her.

“Nothing,” Mingyu replied, turning back to the stove. “I just knew you’d pick it. You’re predictable, Lulu-ya.”

“Predictable? I’ll have you know that this is a classic,” she said, plopping down on the couch and throwing a cushion at him for good measure.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Mingyu called back, dodging the cushion with a grin.

The sound of vegetables sizzling in the pan and the faint background score of the movie filled the apartment, creating a warmth that wrapped around them like a blanket.

When the food was finally ready, they settled on the couch with plates in hand, the coffee table serving as a makeshift dining area. The meal was simple— kimchi fried rice with chicken and some stir-fried vegetables— but it was perfect.

As the movie played, Luna found herself laughing more than she had in days. Mingyu kept up a steady stream of commentary, poking fun at Flynn Rider’s exaggerated smolder and mimicking Maximus the horse with over-the-top gestures.

It was silly and endearing, and it was exactly what she needed.

But Mingyu never pushed. He didn’t ask her how she was feeling, didn’t pry into the thoughts she was clearly holding back. He just let her exist, let her enjoy the moment, and it made all the difference.

For now, Luna didn’t have to think about the ache in her chest or the unspoken tension that lingered between her and Jeonghan.

For now, she could just be.

But deep down, she knew better. She knew that before the night was over, the words she had been swallowing all day would finally spill out. And somehow, she also knew that Mingyu would be ready to catch them when they did.

And then it did happen.

It happened in a flash, so subtle yet so significant, that Luna barely registered the words leaving her mouth until it was too late.

Mingyu stood from the couch, stretching his long limbs before heading toward her pantry. He ran a hand through his hair and casually asked, “You want a glass of wine? Thought it might as well be our dessert.”

She was mid-laugh, relaxed for the first time in what felt like ages, when the words slipped out, unbidden. “The last time I drank, I got fucking drunk and told Han I–”

The room fell into an unnatural stillness as her sentence cut short. Her breath hitched, and she froze, eyes dropping immediately to her hands. Her fingers instinctively twisted the gold rings she always wore, a habit Mingyu had seen countless times before. It was her tell, her silent admission of unease.

Mingyu turned slowly, his hand still hovering over the wine bottle. He studied her with the kind of calm that came only from years of reading people. He released the bottle without a sound and walked back toward her.

He didn’t speak, didn’t push, simply sat beside her, his broad frame a steady presence in the quiet room.

Luna felt the couch shift under his weight, but she couldn’t look at him. Her fingers kept twisting, the band of her rings cool against her warm skin. She felt a hand gently rest atop her head, and her tense shoulders eased just slightly at the comforting gesture.

The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy, until she finally closed her eyes and sighed, long and weary. She knew Mingyu wouldn’t force her to speak. But that was precisely why she wanted to.

He deserved to know.

After everything he had done for her tonight— his lighthearted banter, the warm meal, the quiet reassurance he provided without ever needing words— he deserved this piece of her, no matter how raw it felt to offer.

And maybe, just maybe, she needed this too.

“The last time I drank…” she started, her voice shaky, barely above a whisper. She forced herself to keep going, the words tumbling out like a confession she had been holding too tightly for too long. “I got drunk and told Han… told him that I liked him.”

Her voice cracked at the last word, and she bit her lip, still unable to meet Mingyu’s gaze.

Mingyu had known.

He had always known.

From the moment they had met as trainees, it was as clear as daylight. Luna’s feelings for Jeonghan were written in every lingering glance, in the subtle softening of her features whenever he walked into the room, in the way she instinctively gravitated toward him no matter the situation.

It was in the way her eyes sparkled like stars whenever Jeonghan praised her, the way she seemed to orbit around him without even realizing it.

Mingyu knew it because he felt the same way about her.

He knew how it felt to linger in the background, to notice every small detail about someone and hope they’d see you too. He knew how it felt to hide his feelings behind jokes and smiles, burying them so deeply that no one would ever guess.

The difference between them was that Luna’s feelings were as evident as the sun at noon, while his were a well-guarded secret. He had mastered the art of pretending, of hiding his heart in plain sight.

He watched her, his heart aching as she twisted her rings even harder. It was as if she were trying to ground herself, to stop herself from breaking apart completely.

“…And the next day, in the elevator, he told me we wouldn’t work.”

The quiet admission shattered Mingyu’s trance.

His eyes snapped down to her, and he saw her finally look up at him. Her dark eyes were rimmed with tears, glistening under the soft light of her apartment. She blinked rapidly, as if willing them not to fall, but her lips trembled despite her effort to keep her composure.

“Am I too hard to love, Gyu-Gyu?” she whispered, her voice so soft, so heartbreakingly vulnerable, that Mingyu’s chest tightened.

His breath caught, and for a moment, he couldn’t find the words. He could only see the pain in her eyes, the self-doubt she had no business carrying, and the weight of her question that hung in the air between them.

Mingyu swallowed hard, his fists clenching against his knees as a bitter thought crept into his mind.

Can I be him?

Could he be the one who made her laugh, made her cry, made her feel so deeply? Could he be the one her heart longed for so desperately?

Mingyu had tried to push those feelings down for so long, telling himself it was enough just to be her friend. But seeing her like this, so broken over someone else— it hurt. It hurt more than he could have imagined.

Why can’t I be him?

And yet, even as the thought consumed him, Mingyu couldn’t look away. All he wanted, more than anything, was for her to smile again. Even if it wasn’t because of him.

Because that was what love looked like.

And right now, love was a battlefield he was losing.

He wanted to tell her so much— that she wasn’t too hard to love, that she deserved more than she was giving herself credit for, that if only she would let him, he would love her in ways she couldn’t even begin to imagine.

But he also knew this wasn’t about him.

So, instead, he cupped her face in his large, warm hands, his thumbs gently brushing against her cheeks as he steadied her gaze.

“No,” he said, his voice firm yet impossibly soft. “You’re not hard to love, Jiyeonie. Not at all.”

Her tears spilled over then, and Mingyu felt his heart splinter in ways he didn’t think were possible. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly, as if he could shield her from every hurt she had ever felt.

And for tonight, he promised himself he would be that person for her— the one she could lean on, the one who wouldn’t let her fall apart.

Luna broke.

It was slow at first, a trembling exhale that Mingyu barely heard over the rush of his own thoughts. Her body stiffened against him, her small frame caught in the vice grip of emotions she could no longer hold back.

Then, with a sound that tore straight through his chest, she broke completely.

Mingyu felt the full weight of her grief as her fingers fisted tightly into his shirt, clutching him like he was the only thing tethering her to the earth. Her tears spilled freely now, soaking the fabric of his shirt as sobs wracked her body.

He didn’t speak, didn’t move beyond the slow, soothing circles his hand traced on her back. He held her tightly, anchoring her, silently telling her she wasn’t alone in this.

It was the first time she’d let herself cry again after last night’s explosive breakdown. Almost twenty-four hours had passed since she’d stepped out of that elevator, leaving Jeonghan behind with a reassuring smile she’d fought to muster. She’d told him it was fine, told him she understood, before the doors slid shut and she was finally, mercifully, alone.

The second she’d stepped into her apartment, the dam had burst. Every ounce of strength she’d held onto collapsed under the weight of his polite rejection. She had screamed into her pillow, sobbed until her chest physically hurt, and curled into herself as the words replayed in her head like a cruel melody:

“…we can’t do this.”

And now, here she was again, sobbing uncontrollably, except this time she wasn’t alone.

Mingyu said nothing as her cries poured out against him. He stayed rooted in place, steady and quiet, letting her grief unfold at its own pace. His hand never stopped its gentle motion against her back, his other arm a firm yet tender hold around her.

He didn’t mind that his shirt was drenched, didn’t care that her nails were digging into him.

All he cared about was her.

When her sobs finally began to soften into quiet sniffles, he shifted slightly, but only to press his lips to the crown of her head in a gesture so soft it was almost reverent.

“You are not hard to love, Jiyeonie,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. He pulled back just enough to tilt her tearstained face up to meet his gaze. His hands cupped her cheeks gently, his thumbs wiping away the streaks of tears on her flushed skin. “You are far from that. In fact, you’re so easy to love.”

Her swollen, teary eyes locked onto his, and he could see the raw emotion swimming in them. Confusion, sadness, disbelief— all of it was there, but she didn’t pull away.

Luna let him hold her, let him speak.

Mingyu exhaled softly, his thumbs brushing over her skin again as he continued. “You care so deeply about the people around you. You go out of your way to make everyone feel seen and heard, even when you’re struggling yourself. You light up every room you walk into, Lulu-ya. People gravitate toward you without even realizing it because you make everything feel lighter, better. You’re kind in ways that most people can’t even fathom. You make people laugh, you make them feel safe. You make me feel safe.”

His voice wavered slightly at the last admission, but he pressed on, unable to stop the words tumbling from his heart. “You’re the type of person who loves so selflessly, and I don’t think you even realize how rare that is. You’re easy to love, Bae Jiyeon. So easy. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t deserve you.”

He let out a shaky breath, the weight of his unspoken feelings threatening to overwhelm him. This wasn’t just about reassuring her— it was a truth he’d been holding onto for years, a truth he’d never been able to say out loud until now.

Luna’s lips parted slightly as she stared up at him, her wide, tear-filled eyes searching his face for something she couldn’t name. She didn’t speak, but she didn’t need to. Her silence said more than words ever could.

Mingyu’s gaze dropped to her lips, lingering there for a moment too long before flickering back to her eyes. And then back again. His breath hitched, and he realized just how close they were, her face cradled in his hands, their breaths mingling in the quiet space between them.

Her eyes held sadness, yes, but there was also a flicker of confusion, a question she didn’t yet know how to ask.

His head dipped slowly, so slowly that time seemed to stretch around them. He could feel the pull, the magnetic force drawing him closer to her, but just as his lips were a whisper away from hers, he stopped.

Mingyu froze, his breath shaky as he closed his eyes and let his forehead rest gently against hers.

He sighed deeply, frustration and guilt clawing at him as he scolded himself silently.

What are you doing, Kim Mingyu?

Luna didn’t need this. She didn’t need more confusion, more complications. She didn’t need him taking advantage of her vulnerability.

Luna nudged her forehead against his, a small gesture of concern that only deepened his guilt. “Gyu-Gyu?” she whispered, her voice laced with confusion.

He opened his eyes slowly, finding her gaze still locked on him, her brows knit together as if trying to piece together what he was feeling.

Without a word, Mingyu pulled back just enough to place a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead. His lips pressed against her skin with a tenderness that conveyed everything he couldn’t say aloud.

When he finally pulled away, his eyes met hers again, and he offered her a small, reassuring smile. “You’re going to be okay, Jiyeonie,” he said quietly, his voice filled with a conviction he wasn’t entirely sure he believed. “You’re stronger than you think.”

Mingyu took a deep breath, steadying himself as he stared into Luna’s tear-streaked face. Her eyes, still wide and brimming with confusion, searched his for answers he didn’t yet have the strength to give. But there was one thing he knew with unwavering certainty, one thing he could promise her.

“I’ll make sure you’re okay,” he said, his voice soft yet filled with conviction. His hands, still cradling her face, fell to her shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “I don’t know how long it’ll take or how much it’ll hurt, but I promise you, Jiyeonie, I’ll be here. Whatever you need— whenever you need it— I’ll be here.”

The words hung in the air like a vow, unspoken yet understood. He didn’t need her to respond. Her silence, the way her fingers clung faintly to his wrist, was enough.

And with that, he stayed close, letting her process everything in her own time, his presence a silent promise that he wasn’t going anywhere.

And Mingyu kept that promise.

Through the days, the weeks, the months that followed, he was there. Quietly, steadfastly, he became the anchor Luna needed as she worked through the storm raging inside her.

He was the one who showed up unannounced at her apartment with her favorite takeout when he suspected she hadn’t eaten. The one who filled her living room with laughter when he pulled out his collection of terrible dad jokes. The one who dragged her out for morning walks when she felt too drained to even leave her bed, promising her that fresh air and sunshine could do wonders for her soul.

Whenever self-doubt crept into her voice, Mingyu countered it with an unwavering confidence in her. “You’re stronger than this,” he’d say, “and I’m not just saying that because I care about you. You’ve gotten through so much, Jiyeonie. You’re going to get through this, too.”

Whenever fatigue settled into her bones or fear whispered cruel lies into her ear, Mingyu was there. He’d sit with her in silence on her toughest days, a steady presence she could lean on without judgment. He gave her space when she needed it and filled it when she asked.

Mingyu knew when to push and when to wait.

There were days when she would cry, and he would simply hold her. Other days, she would rant about how lost she felt, how fragile she had become, and Mingyu would sit there, listening to every word without interrupting.

Mingyu didn’t try to fix her. He just let her feel what she needed to feel.

And slowly but surely, Luna began to heal.

Her laughter returned, soft at first but growing stronger with each passing day. Her confidence, once so shaken, began to rebuild itself. She started to hum absentmindedly again, a habit Mingyu had always found endearing.

Even her relationship with Jeonghan began to return to normal.

The awkward silences that had once stretched between them disappeared. The lingering tension in their stares faded, replaced by the easy camaraderie they had always shared. They laughed together again, talked as though nothing had happened, and spent time with the rest of the members without the weight of unspoken words hanging between them.

Jeonghan, true to form, never brought up what had transpired between them months prior. He respected her unspoken boundaries, never prying, never pushing. Luna, for her part, was grateful for that.

But no matter how much Mingyu helped her heal— no matter how many of her insecurities and doubts he managed to soothe— there was one thing he couldn’t replace.

Her feelings for Jeonghan.

Even after all this time, even after nearly a year of distance and rebuilding, her heart beat only for him.

It was Jeonghan she thought of in quiet moments, Jeonghan whose laughter still echoed in her mind, Jeonghan whose touch she longed for.

Her heart ached for him, yearned for him, and no amount of time seemed capable of changing that.

Her heart beats only for him; it longs only for him, an unyielding melody that no one else can rewrite.

And Mingyu… Mingyu was content with that.

Because if there was one thing he knew about love, it was that sometimes, love meant putting someone else’s happiness above your own. It meant helping the person you loved most find their happiness, even if that happiness didn’t include you.

After all, you would do anything for love— even if it meant helping your love with their love.

Mingyu marveled at his own heart sometimes, at its strength.

How was it possible to love someone so selflessly, to give so much of yourself knowing you might never get anything in return?

He didn’t know, but he also didn’t regret it.

Then again, Luna’s heart was just as strong, if not stronger.

She had endured the kind of heartbreak that could shatter a person, and yet she had chosen to keep loving. She had chosen to persevere, to hold onto that love even when it felt impossible.

Mingyu thought of her often, of the quiet resilience she carried, of the way she smiled even when her heart was heavy.

She amazed him, and in some ways, she inspired him.

If Luna could endure so much and still love so deeply, then who was he to do any less?

And so, Mingyu stayed by her side, his heart heavy yet full.

Because loving Bae Jiyeon— helping Bae Jiyeon—wasn’t a burden.

It was a privilege.

Jeonghan feels the same.

It was a privilege.

It was a privilege to know Luna, to stand beside her through the years as they navigated the treacherous waters of the idol world. A privilege to work with her, to watch her light up stages with an effortless grace that took his breath away every time. A privilege to call her his best friend, the one person who could read him like an open book even when he thought he was being clever.

And above all else, it was a privilege to be loved by her.

Jeonghan had known since the moment she confessed to him in her apartment, her words slurring slightly from the alcohol but her heart painfully clear.

Luna’s love for him wasn’t something fleeting or shallow. It was deep and real, a kind of love he’d never dared to believe someone like him could deserve.

But it terrified him.

The moment in the elevator the night after when he told her, “We can’t do this,” he knew he’d made a mistake.

The look in Luna’s eyes— the fleeting flash of pain she couldn’t quite mask before she quickly plastered on a smile— was something that haunted him.

He remembered the way she reassured him, her voice trembling slightly as she said, “It’s fine. I was drunk and being stupid.” And then she left the elevator, her head held high, as though the weight of his rejection wasn’t bearing down on her.

But Jeonghan knew her better than that.

He always had.

That night, he couldn’t sleep. His mind replayed every moment of their conversation, every little detail he wished he could take back. He pictured her walking into her apartment, finally letting her guard down, finally allowing herself to cry.

The thought of her alone, her shoulders shaking with sobs he knew she wouldn’t let anyone else see, made his chest ache.

The next day, he noticed the shift immediately.

Luna avoided his gaze in schedules, her usual bright smiles now tempered, softer, almost rehearsed. She threw herself into work with a single-minded focus that even the other members started to comment on. He could see it in the way she laughed at jokes— polite, short, never reaching her eyes. He could see it in the way she distanced herself, not just from him but from everyone, wrapping herself in a cocoon of work and solitude.

And then there was Mingyu.

Jeonghan noticed how Luna began to gravitate toward him.

It started small— a lingering conversation here, a shared laugh there. But it grew, and before long, Mingyu became her shadow, her support, her confidant.

Jeonghan should have felt envious, should have felt angry, but all he felt was gratitude.

Because if anyone could help Luna when she refused to help herself, it was Mingyu.

Jeonghan knew how Luna was.

She wasn’t the type to openly share her emotions, not unless she was pushed. She was the type to bury them, to lock them away until the weight of them became unbearable. And Mingyu… Mingyu had a way of drawing people out, of making them feel safe.

Jeonghan was thankful for him, even if it hurt to watch them together sometimes.

And so, Jeonghan watched.

Silently, slyly, like a fly on the wall, he kept an eye on her.

He noticed the little things— the way her smile faltered when she thought no one was looking, the way her hands fidgeted nervously during group meetings, the way her laugh sometimes felt just a little too forced.

Jeonghan noticed how she stopped seeking him out the way she used to, how her lingering stares disappeared, replaced by a pointed avoidance that cut deeper than he wanted to admit.

He noticed, too, the way Mingyu seemed to bring back pieces of the Luna he knew.

Little by little, she began to laugh more freely, her eyes regaining some of their sparkle. She started to hum to herself again, a quiet melody that Jeonghan hadn’t realized he missed until it returned.

But even as Luna began to heal, Jeonghan couldn’t shake his regret.

He regretted the fear that had gripped him in that elevator, the fear that had made him choose the safe path instead of the one he truly wanted.

Jeonghan regretted making her feel like her love wasn’t worth the risk, like she wasn’t worth the risk.

He regretted the way he had hurt her, the way he had driven her away, the way he had made her question herself. And he regretted most of all that he hadn’t been brave enough to tell her the truth.

Because the truth was, Jeonghan had loved Luna for as long as he could remember.

Jeonghan was in love with Luna.

Hopelessly, irrevocably in love with her in a way that defied logic or reason. It wasn’t something he could pinpoint to a single moment or a singular trait.

From the moment they met as trainees, there had been something about her that drew him in. Maybe it was despite her cold outward appearance, she smiled so beautifully, so bright and unguarded, or the way she laughed, unabashed and full of life. Maybe it was the way she looked at him, like she could see straight through the facade he so carefully crafted.

It was everything, all at once.

It was the way she scrunched her nose when she laughed too hard, her giggles filling the room like sunlight spilling into a dark corner. It was the way she remembered the little things— like how he liked his coffee or how he always needed a nap after a long schedule.

It was the way she seemed to know him better than he knew himself, calling him out on his tricks and teasing him just enough to make him feel seen but never exposed.

He loved the way she carried herself, too— quietly resilient, endlessly kind, and fiercely loyal.

Luna was the type of person who gave her all to the people she loved, and Jeonghan had been one of the lucky ones to be on the receiving end of that love.

Jeonghan loved her then, and he loved her now.

But he had convinced himself that love wasn’t worth the risk.

That the friendship they had built, the bond they shared as members of the same group, was too important to jeopardize. That their careers, their futures, couldn’t withstand the weight of a love like theirs.

And so, he had told her no.

Even now, after everything, after he had hurt her, rejected her, and created a chasm between them, she treated him with the same warmth she gave to everyone else. He could see it was different now, of course— more guarded, more deliberate— but it was still there.

And it made him ache.

Jeonghan had spent countless nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling, replaying the moment he told her no.

But now, as he watched her from afar, as he saw the way she smiled at Mingyu, as he noticed the way she seemed to come alive again under his care,

Regret was a constant companion, whispering in his ear, reminding him of what he had given up. It wasn’t just her love he had rejected— it was the possibility of something more, something deeper, something that terrified him because of how much he wanted it.

He wanted to make things right, to take back the pain he had caused her, to give her the love she deserved. But he didn’t know how.

But he was determined to make things right, no matter how long it took.

So, for now, he watched. And he waited.

Even if they could only ever be friends, Jeonghan was willing to accept that. He would rather have her in his life in any capacity than risk losing her completely. He was willing to put in the effort, to prove to her that she was safe with him again, that he could be someone she could trust. He was willing to push his own feelings aside if it meant seeing her happy.

And he hoped, with everything in him, that one day he would find the courage to tell her the truth.

But it wasn’t easy.

Even after months of careful rebuilding, after they had returned to a semblance of normalcy, Jeonghan could still see how Luna clung to Mingyu.

He didn’t blame her. Mingyu had been her rock during the time Jeonghan had faltered, the one who had stepped in when he had stepped away. And Mingyu, ever the gentle giant, had been exactly what Luna needed.

They were behind the scenes of a photoshoot when Jeonghan saw it again.

Luna’s laugh rang out, bright and unrestrained, as she squealed and called for Mingyu. “Gyu-Gyu, look at this!” she said, her voice laced with excitement. She held up her phone, waving it at him as he approached, his face lighting up in that easy, boyish grin Jeonghan had come to know so well.

Mingyu leaned down to look at her phone, his broad shoulders nearly swallowing her small frame as they shared a moment of quiet laughter.

Jeonghan watched from the corner of the room, his hands loosely clasped in front of him, his heart constricting painfully at the sight.

He was happy to see her smile like that, truly happy.

It was the kind of smile that reached her eyes, the kind of smile that had been absent for so long. And he was thankful for Mingyu— deeply, profoundly thankful— for being the one to bring that smile back.

But despite the gratitude that swelled in his chest, another thought crept into his mind, unbidden and unwelcome.

Can I be him?

The question lingered, heavy and bittersweet.

It mirrored the thought that had crossed Mingyu’s mind so many months ago, the same quiet longing, the same resignation.

But where Mingyu’s question had been born from the pain of unrequited love, Jeonghan’s was laced with guilt and regret. Because he could have been him. He could have been the one to make her laugh like that, to stand by her side, to be her rock.

But he wasn’t.

And now, as he watched her with Mingyu, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had forfeited his chance entirely.

Jeonghan’s gaze lingered on them, his heart twisting with an ache he couldn’t quite put into words. He saw the way Luna tilted her head up to meet Mingyu’s eyes, her expression soft and full of trust. He saw the way Mingyu looked at her in return, his own gaze steady and unguarded.

It was a silent conversation, a quiet understanding, and Jeonghan felt like an intruder simply for witnessing it.

It was ironic.

Both Jeonghan and Mingyu were caught in the same cycle, both willing to put their own feelings aside for Luna’s happiness. Both of them aching for something they could never truly have. And yet, where Mingyu’s strength lay in his ability to give selflessly, Jeonghan’s strength was still a work in progress.

He wanted to be better for her. He wanted to deserve her.

But as he stood there, watching her laugh with Mingyu, the question lingered in the back of his mind, haunting him.

Can I be him?

Jeonghan’s breath caught in his throat as he stood frozen, watching the scene unfold before him. Luna and Mingyu were standing just a few feet away, their heads bent together over her phone. She laughed again, her voice light and melodic, and something inside Jeonghan twisted painfully.

She looked so happy.

The kind of happiness that was effortless, unguarded, real.

And yet, all Jeonghan could think was, Am I still the one?

The question clawed at him, desperate and raw, filling him with a fear he couldn’t shake. It wasn’t just the sight of her smiling at Mingyu or the way she leaned into his presence like he was her safe harbor.

It was the possibility that somewhere along the way, Jeonghan had lost her— lost the part of her heart that once belonged to him.

Had she moved on? Had her feelings for him faded, dissolved into nothing but a distant memory of what could have been?

Jeonghan’s fingers tightened into fists at his sides, his chest heavy with the weight of uncertainty. He had no one to blame but himself. He had been the one to push her away, to draw that invisible line between them, to let fear and doubt dictate his choices.

But what if, in doing so, he had extinguished the flame that once burned for him in her heart?

Jeonghan’s mind raced, desperate for answers.

He thought back to every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every smile she had ever given him. He thought about the way she used to look at him, her eyes filled with a kind of quiet adoration that made him feel like he was the center of her universe. He thought about the way she used to laugh at his jokes, even when they weren’t funny, and how she always seemed to seek him out in a crowded room, as if drawn to him by some invisible thread.

Was any of that still there? Or had it all been erased, replaced by something else— someone else?

Jeonghan swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. Please, he thought, his heart aching with the weight of his unspoken plea. Please let me still be the one.

He wanted so badly to believe that he was.

That somewhere deep inside, Luna’s heart still called for him, still craved him, still loved him. That despite everything— despite the hurt, the distance, the months of uncertainty— he was still the one she wanted.

But the fear was relentless, gnawing at the edges of his hope.

What if he was wrong? What if she had already let go? What if Mingyu had become the person she turned to, the person she leaned on, the person she loved?

The thought was unbearable, and yet it lingered, taunting him with its cruel possibilities.

Jeonghan’s eyes flickered back to Luna, watching the way she lit up in Mingyu’s presence, her smile brighter than he had seen it in months. He felt a pang of gratitude for Mingyu, for being there for her in a way that Jeonghan hadn’t been able to. But that gratitude was overshadowed by a deep, aching longing— an unrelenting desire to be the one who made her feel that way.

I can be him, Jeonghan thought, his mind racing with determination. I can be whoever and whatever you want me to be. Just don’t let go of me. Please, Nana-ya. Don’t give up on me.

The words burned in his chest, desperate and silent. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold on to this hope, this fragile, flickering belief that he still had a chance.

Jeonghan just needed to know. Needed her to give him a sign, a hint, anything to tell him that he wasn’t too late.

Wait for me, he thought, his gaze softening as he looked at her. Just a little longer. Don’t let go. Don’t let me go, pretty angel.

Because if there was even the slightest chance that he was still the one, Jeonghan would fight for her. He would fight with everything he had, against every fear and every doubt, to be the person she needed.

To be the person she loved.

Jeonghan just needed her to wait. Just a little more.

He can be the one.

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[kiss4noo]

the unravel of his cardigan – l.hs

꒰ 🧶 ꒱ A LEE HEESEUNG [희승] TWO-SHOT! (pt. 1) pt.2 here!

genre. suggestive, angst. .˚⊹ pairing. non-idol,,best friend heeseung x fem reader – friends w/ benefits trope. ໒꒱ warning(s). prepare to be sad. <//3 word ct. 427

synopsis .ᐟ in which you caught feelings during an intimate arrangement with your best friend.

꒰ 💬 ꒱ mi note. inspired by cardigan by taylor swift. that song never fails to make me feel all of the feels, and it helped me overcome writer’s block this time around.

if you enjoyed this fic, please like and reblog! it's always appreciated :)

enjoy, my lovely readers. xoxo, mi. ‹𝟹

soft breaths slipped past the boy’s lips as his eyes lay shut in a display of exhaustion, his features relaxed– almost leaving him vulnerable.

yet, the emotions pumped through your veins, leaving you in a state of torment.

your eyes had caressed every detail of his face, memorizing each piece as though you’d somehow forget in a moment’s notice.

heeseung had been your best friend for as long as you can remember. he was there for every milestone, no matter how miniscule or gigantic. you battled hardships alongside one another and experienced warmth in each other’s presence.

creating this arrangement fulfilled two aspects, the desire to feel pleasure, and to avoid a romantic relationship. after all, why not confide in your best friend of 16 years?

however, as time passed, your attachment grew– your heart seemed to beat only for him, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering at each movement he made.

knowing that you were just a source of physical pleasure for him was miserable, despite having mutually agreed to being friends with benefits.

so here you were, sprawled beside him in an act of admiring him one last time.

just once. before you distance yourself, hide away, and wallow in heartache.

an hour or two passed– at least that’s what you believed until reaching to check your phone in confirmation. you’d been awake since four in the morning, the clock now reading 4:57.

it was time. time to gather your belongings, maybe even take a small trinket of his as a souvenir. one to remember him by and clutch while you cried in the privacy of your own bed.

slipping from beneath the warmth of the duvet, you were sure to do so quietly and without waking the boy. he did give a soft sigh and shift momentarily, but otherwise, you were clear to leave; unnoticed.

you quickly dressed into your outfit from the night before, hands clutching onto the hoodie you’d previously slipped from his possession; the newest piece that would nestle in your closet.

peeking one last glance at him from the doorway, your lips trembled. part of you wanted to stay, to painfully bask in his affection. yet, part of you knew of the price you’d pay to be by his side in misery. hence, the solution was clear; your steps gently tapping the floor as you approached his front door to exit his home… and his heart.

after all, you were just an old cardigan under someone’s bed.

you never expected him to put you on and label you as his favorite.

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[xoxoavenger]

Give Me Your Weekends

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

summary: But I knew you/Playing hide-and-seek and/Giving me your weekends, I/I knew you/Your heartbeat on the High Line/Once in 20 lifetimes, I/And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/Under someone's bed/You put me on and said I was your favorite

word count: 1263

cardigan masterlist main masterlist

"So, ya know how today was supposed to be our date night?" Y/N says as she gets home from work. JJ had just gotten back as well, but John B was still out. Sarah was on the couch, and for a moment Y/N thought of how weird it was that they were all living together.

"Yes." JJ starts, walking in and pausing. "Just like every other Saturday night."

"I got a call from the Kamps," She starts. She feels guilty, she does, but she couldn't pass this up and she hopes JJ agrees. "They asked me to babysit. They're paying well and we really need the money." They were trying to move out, because recently Kie and Pope had been staying over and there wasn't enough room for all six of them in the Chateau. Plus, it would be nice to have their own place, to show their parents that they were responsible despite their upbringing.

"It's fine." JJ smiles and puts his hands on her arms, effectively calming her down. "I'll come too, and we can make it a date night." She can't believe she got someone like JJ. Someone who would give up his date night, his weekend, just to be with her while she babysat.

"It's overnight." She cringes as she says it, but JJ just smiles and pulls her in.

"We can play house." She smiles as her face heats, her heart being overloaded with feelings.

"I love you." She tells him, arms around his neck as his rest low on her hips. She leans in for a kiss, and of course he accepts.

~

When they make it to the house, JJ realizes this is not in Figure Eight, like he once thought. This family lives on the cut.

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much!" Mrs. Kamp is saying, her hair a mess. She's disheveled, and JJ has a feeling he knows what she's gonna say before she says it. "I'm so sorry for the late notice, but our usual babysitter was busy and Mike's mother is in the hospital on the mainland."

"It's no problem, really. I hope your mother-in-law is alright." Y/N says with a smile. Mr. Kamp comes out with a bag over his shoulder. They thank the young couple one more time before heading out, leaving Y/N and JJ with the kids.

The kids who are much younger than Y/N thought.

Of course, Mrs. Kamp never told Y/N how old the kids were, but she assumed that at least one of them were older than five. However, they looked around two and four, both coloring at the table. There was a note on the counter, telling Y/N that she's welcome to sleep in their bedroom and to help herself to anything in the fridge or pantry, that Mrs. Kamp will text her to let her know when they will be coming back.

"Hello," She says cheerfully once she finishes reading, the two kids looking over at her. The older one was a little boy who looked like the carbon copy of his mother. The girl looked more like a mix of both, hair braided nicely. "My name is Y/N, and this is JJ." It was then that Y/N realized that she didn't know the name of the kids.

"My name is Landon." The boy says, going back to coloring. "My sister is Jane." Jane is still looking at them with wide eyes, clutching her crayon.

"Did you guys already eat dinner?" Y/N asks, not seeing any signs of a meal in the kitchen.

"Yeah. Mom made us mac n cheese and chicken nuggets." Landon spoke very well for a kid his age.

"Cheese!" Jane yelled, smiling brightly.

"Do you mind if I color?" JJ asks, going to sit on the empty seat next to Jane. She nods and hands him the purple crayon. "I like this picture you've made." Y/N's heart swells as she watches JJ with the little girl. They don't look anything alike, but Y/N can't help but feel her feelings expand out of her chest.

"I made a pirate." Landon says as Y/N goes to sit next to him. What he made is not a pirate, but in fact a bunch of scribbles.

"It looks wonderful." She says, smiling as she looks it over. "The shading is the work of a true artist." She tells him, watching him beam and blush.

After they were done coloring, Jane looked up at JJ with big eyes and said "Hide seek?" JJ wouldn't be caught dead saying no to this girl, so he nods and helps her clean up. The couple cover their laughs when the kids are hiding terribly, behind curtains or under blankets. At one point they lose Landon for a couple minutes, long enough for them to freak out slightly until they finally find him in the shower of the bathroom. After that, they get the kids ready for bed without a hitch. They ask for their parents once, but otherwise they go to sleep with their water bottles on each bedside table.

"I brought something for us to share on the patio." She tells him, smiling as she goes to her small duffle bag and pulls out two bottles of beer.

"A woman after my very heart." JJ smiles, leaning in to kiss her as he grabs a beer.

"I've already got it." She tells him. He shrugs with a smirk, taking her hand and leading her out to the patio. It's nothing special, just a small area that looks out the marsh. There's a couch swing, which they both slowly sit on.

They sit on the swing for awhile, Y/N leaning against JJ's chest, her legs curled up. He has his arm around her, thumb caressing underneath her shirt. When her beer falls against his leg and dribbles out the remains that she hadn't drank he looks over to see her asleep, mouth slumped open and body slack. For a minute JJ wants to keep her here. She's against his chest, which means she's listening to his heartbeat, something he knows she loves. So, for another half an hour, he lightly swings, finishing his own beer and listening to Y/N's soft breathing. But then he's starting to fall asleep, so he has to wake her up with a kiss to the forehead and some low murmuring.

"I want to stay out here." She tells him, but he just moves them to sit up and stand.

"The bed will be so much more comfy." He tells her, but she's still grumbling.

"I was comfy." She frowns, but he leads her inside, making sure the beer bottles are in his bag. He gets her ready for bed, helping her change and brush her teeth sleepily before stripping and hopping in with her. She moves around so that she's laying on his chest, asleep almost immediately.

"I love you," He tells her right before he goes to sleep, sure she's already asleep. He kisses her forehead and almost jumps when she leans and kisses his chest.

"I love you more." With that JJ almost can't sleep, because his heart feels so light. "I want to get married." He tenses, heart pounding as he hears her breathing even out. He feels sick thinking about that kind of commitment; his parents were married, and look how that turned out. His father almost killed his mother before she left, and now he's the one with bruises. Oh God, what if she wants kids? He'd turn out just like his dad. He'd ruin everything.

JJ has to leave.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler

[misshoneyimhome]

willy the swiftie is my favorite! what fic would you write for him since cardigan is his favorite song?

Oh babe, this sparks so many ideas ❤️ I suppose it really depends on whether William is more of a lyrics kind of guy or a melody kind of guy—does he actually pay attention to the lyrics and feel a connection to the story, or does he just enjoy the vibe, letting the soothing sounds help him relax 🧘🏼‍♀️?

I can absolutely picture him being the latter, which gives such cosy, lazy sofa vibes. The two of you lounging on the couch with a film or TV show you’ve both seen so many times that there’s no need to pay much attention. His thumb softly tracing circles on your arm as you lean against his chest, both of you simply enjoying the stillness and each other’s company.

But if he’s the type who really listens to the lyrics, trying to understand the meaning and connect with it, then that could inspire such a different moment -

➼｡ﾟ

Cardigan I William Nylander ✐

William Nylander wasn’t the type to dwell on the past. Sure, he’d occasionally get nostalgic about his childhood in Sweden or reminisce about a big hockey win from years ago, but he was more of a live in the moment kind of bloke. Unless it involved hockey stats, line combinations, or plays, he didn’t overthink much.

But over the past few weeks, something peculiar had started to happen. A specific song kept cropping up—first on the radio in his car, then in the middle of a shuffle on his Spotify playlist. Cardigan by Taylor Swift.

At first, he hadn’t thought much of it. It was catchy, sure, but not the sort of song he’d usually pay attention to. Yet, for some reason, he found himself letting it play instead of skipping it. And then, one evening, as he sat alone in his Toronto flat after practice, the lyrics stopped him in his tracks.

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite.”

The line tugged at something deep inside him, stirring a memory he hadn’t allowed himself to revisit in years. He leaned back on the sofa, staring out at the city lights, the words echoing in his head.

“You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.”

A sharp pang spread through his chest—unexpected, almost like his heart had skipped a beat. And just like that, your face appeared in his mind, vivid and unshakable.

He thought of you.

The way you used to look at him with those eyes that seemed to see straight through him, past all the bravado and the hockey jerseys. The sound of your laugh when he’d tease you about your so-called “armchair coaching,” only for you to throw some obscure stat back at him to prove him wrong. The way you’d made him feel like he was more than just a player, more than just a number on a jersey.

He hadn’t let himself think about you in years. Not since that last argument—the one where you’d accused him of caring more about hockey than you, and he’d said you deserved someone who wouldn’t have to split his life between love and a career.

But now, as the song played softly in the background, it was as though the lyrics were unlocking something he’d carefully tucked away. He thought about the way you used to call him “Willy” with that teasing lilt, the way you’d sit beside him at the rink, bundled in scarves and gloves, cheering him on.

He thought about how much he missed you.

William ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself for letting his mind wander like this. It wasn’t like him. He was the sort of guy who kept moving forward, who focused on the next game, the next goal, the next win.

But as Cardigan faded into the next song, the weight in his chest lingered. It wasn’t just the music. It was you. You had always been there, somewhere in the back of his mind, like a favourite cardigan tucked away but never truly forgotten.

And for the first time in years, William allowed himself to wonder: Did you ever think about him, too?

[yoitsjay]

cardigan by taylor swift

imperial crosshair x f medic reader

reader was with bad batch for a year (crosshair was lowkey in love with reader) or so but went mia a couple months before plan 99. crosshair goes empire blah blah. crosshair is on a mission (s2 so his chip is like gone but hes still good soldiers follow orders) and finds reader on a remote planet helping injured people. and when he pops out she almost shoots him cause she doesnt recognize the armor but ima just leave it there and let you decide the rest of the angsty fluff or wherever you wanna go smut or not

I love you

My Cardigan.

Pairings: Imperial! Crosshair x Fem medic! Reader

Summary: Crosshair finds you after almost a year of you being MIA, and you made him realize how big of a mistake he had made, and what he could do to fix it.

Warnings: hurt n comfort, non explicit smut, p in v smut

Word count: 1,827

A/n: I loved writing this and listening to cardigan by Taylor swift on repeat. I will NEVER listen to this song again. lol.

Vintage tee, brand new phone. High heels on cobblestones.

On the harsh unforgiving landscapes of the remote planet of Yalara, where settlements and outposts scatter the vast and always changing terrain, there lies a medium sized hut, two floors tall hums with the sounds of medical and diagnostic equipment. It's a peaceful humming, background noise to fill the silence and make it comforting as patients get treated.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

Your hut had become a form of sanctuary for the people born on Yalara, travelers and refugees from all kinds of planets. You give them free healthcare, though they always find some way to repay you, and you help them find places to settle, or set them up with people who can help more than you can.

Sequin smile, black lipstick. Sensual politics.

You had always had an affinity for medicine, and caring for others was a hobby that you could never get tired of. Seeing their smiles every day, reassuring them that they were safe, and would be okay now… it was all worth the supplies you went through on a daily basis. Though you always had a way to get more.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

You had been working out in the back area of your hut, the sun just beginning to rise over the foggy mountain range, light reflecting off the dew drops that rested on tree and plant leaves. Your garden had been booming, with all kinds of plants, large and small, growing with relentless fervor.

But I knew you, dancing in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight. i, i knew you.

But then you heard voices, far away at first, though they were nearing the front of your sanctuary. You made your way back inside, and rushed the less injured people into a safe room you had hidden below the main floor, having opened up a hidden panel in the floor.

Hand under my sweatshirt. baby kiss it better, right.

Once the voice reaches the door, you close the panel and cover it with a carpet, moving in front of the more injured patients in your clinic. The door opens and you raise your blaster, spotting a familiar feeling man in unfamiliar armor.

And when u felt like i was an old used cardigan, under someone's bed…You put me on and said i was your favorite.

You fire, and the blue bolt wizzes past the man's head, he is about to reply with a shot of his own, only to let out what you can assume is a gasp as he hesitates, and nearly drops his sniper rifle.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Chase two girls, lose the one.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

You stare at the helmet of the man, watching as he slowly sets down his sniper rifle, then begins to remove his helmet.

But I knew you. Playin’ hide-and-seek and givin’ me your weekends.

I, I knew you.

The blaster in your hand falls to the ground as you see none other than Crosshair, the man you had loved, and left almost a year ago… Your eyes were wide, and you just stared at him, and he did the same.

Your heartbeat on the high line, Once in twenty lifetimes, I.

You both almost didn’t want to believe that you were standing in front of each other, but here he was, in imperial armor… and there you were, tending to the sick and injured like you always had…

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed. You put me on and said I was your favorite.

“Y/n…” Crosshair breathed out your name in a whisper, like saying it any louder would break him. Though it broke you as tears started brinking your eyes, and you let out a choked sob.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars, was all we needed.

“Crosshair-” You choked out, glancing back at your patients before you tentatively took a step towards the man. You saw the tears in his eyes, the way he looked at you with so much regret and guilt…

You drew stars around my scars, but now im bleedin’

“What are you doing here?” You asked him softly, leading him into another room. He was more than happy to follow you. “I- i’m here on a mission… s’ told there were rebel insurgents on this planet… coordinates sent me here.” He answered you honestly, and almost cried more when he saw your frown.

‘Cause i knew you, steppin’ on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain I,

“There are no rebel insurgents here, just innocent civilians, trying to escape an Empire that shuns them and abuses them.” You told him, crossing your arms over your chest… over his old cardigan. Crosshair looked away from you, ashamed…

I knew you.

“What are you doing Crosshair?” You asked, and he looked back over at you. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “What are you doing with the Empire Cross? you were never one to follow orders, let alone from people like them” You pointed out, seeing the confliction spread across his face.

Tried to change the ending, Peter losin’ Wendy

“I-.” He didn't have an answer for you… though the realization hit him hard, especially coming from you… He betrayed his brothers… his family for an ideal that would discard him the first chance it got…

I, i knew you

“Why did you leave?” Crosshair then asked, looking over at you as your arms fell to your sides and you tensed slightly. But you wouldn’t lie to him…

Leavin’ like a father, runnin’ like water, I.

“I was scared… I felt something evil approaching, and on top of that i- I was falling in love with you… I knew I couldn't live with the looming fear of whatever was coming, and allow myself to love you so… I ran away.” You whispered, looking down at the ground, your hair falling forward and slightly framing your face.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing.

Crosshair frowned, and he took a tentative step forward, and when you made no move to turn away, or reject his advances, he took another step forward, removing his glove from his hand as he gently cupped your cheek, tilting your head up so you were looking at him. “You were right… danger did come… the Jedi were convicted of treason… my inhibitor chip- i- i tried to kill a young padawan… and when i got my chip removed i…”

But i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss,

“You stayed with the empire…”You finished, and Crosshair nodded. A soft sigh left your lips, and you stared into his eyes before surging forward, pulling the man into your arms. Crosshair tensed but only for a moment, practically falling to his knees in front of you as he finally broke, tears streaming down his face as he held you tightly.

I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s

“I made a mistake, Y/n.” He whispered, feeling your soft fingers trailing the burn scar on the side of his head, though he didn’t even flinch, wanting to soak up as much of your touch as he possibly could. “It’s not too late.” She whispered, pulling back slightly so she could look into his eyes.

The smell of smoke would hang around this long.

“What do you mean?” He asked, staring into your eyes as you smiled a bit. “Leave the Empire Crosshair, i can help you find your brothers again, you can make it up to them, have your family back.” She spoke softly, cupping his face in your hands. “I can love you again… and I won't be running away this time.” She whispered.

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young.

And Crosshair felt hope, for the first time in a long time he was actually hopeful for his future… slowly but surely he nodded his head, and hugged you tightly in his arms.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time.

The minute you weren’t helping patients, crosshair had his hands all over you, he couldn’t tear himself away, not that he had you so close to him again. He took you up to your bedroom, backing you up until the back of your knees hit the edge of your bed. His lips were on yours, a clash of tongue and teeth.

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line.

Clothes were shed, and you laid in the nude with Crosshair placing kisses across every inch of your skin, for every day he had missed you, for every mistake he had made. So many silent apologies that were all forgiven as soon as you asked for him. And he could never make you wait.

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired.

Within moments he had slid himself inside of you with no resistance. He was being so soft, and so sweet with you, both yours and his moans bouncing off the walls in your bedroom.

And you’d be standin’ in my front porch light.

By the night's end he had made you see stars, and then saw his own as he came inside of you, bringing you closer together than you had ever been before.

And I knew you’d come back to me

You and Crosshair showered, did what you needed to clean up and were back within your bed. He refused to let you go, his arms firmly wrapped around your waist with your head on his chest.

And you’d come back.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered softly, resting his chin on the top of your head which was resting on his chest. “I know Crosshair… but I forgive you.” You whispered, smiling against his warm skin. “I've done so many vile things…” he trailed off, and you sighed.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan���

“and yet here you are, having realized those mistakes… and now you'll atone for it.” You breathed out, pulling your head back so you could look into his eyes. “they will forgive you too, though it may take a little bit.” You added, and he nodded his head.

Under someone's bed…

“We have to find them first.” He muttered, hearing you chuckle. “that will be easy… I have their contact codes, so we can meet them somewhere safe to just talk.” You stated, and he hummed. “Alright… maybe in a couple days… I just want to be here with you…” Crosshair trailed off

You put me on and said I was your favorite.

“Don't worry Cross… I won't leave you again.” You whispered softly, pulling the blankets up and over the both of you, closing your eyes as you rested against him, feeling him squeeze you lightly.

“I know.”

➺

Crosshair tag:

@nyctophobiart

Tbb:

@only-my-unexistent-fiances

All:

@moomoog017

[realmsdelght]

Cardigan; Ellie Williams

Ellie Williams x fem!reader

Summary: Ellie wakes up alone, and in the search for her girl, she discovers a whole new side to her lover Warning: no just pure fluff Word count: 770 really short and sweet dabble

The crack left open on the window allowed the spring breeze to fill the room, the chilly breeze hugged Ellie’s body. The girl ran hot, so she unconsciously welcomed the wind, but her peacefulness was taken away once she turned and was met with nothing but emptiness. Ellie woke up, her eyes weren’t open yet, but she instantly missed the warm body that was always in between her arms during the night. 

“Babe,” she called, but nothing but silence filled the small house. The silence made the girl jump up from the bed, eyes wide open now. “Babe,” she shouted now, almost running around her small house, hoping somewhere in between those walls the voice she loved so much would respond. 

When she was met with silence again, Ellie decided to go out. The girl slipped her converse on, and she even grabbed her girlfriend’s stupid cardigan. Ellie’s feet hit the gravel as she runned towards the center of the town, hoping someone on patrol had seen her girlfriend. 

“Hey Ellie, you good?” One of the younger guys asked, but Ellie couldn’t bother to remember his name at the moment.

 “Have you seen my girl?” She asked.

“Yeah, she is in the hall. Like always,” like always, Ellie’s brain couldn’t comprehend what that meant, but she knew she had to make sure her girlfriend was alright.

Pushing the hall doors was the first time of the night that Ellie’s ears were met with sound, music, and a sweet melody followed by an even sweeter voice.

“Baby?” The auburn haired girl called, and the music stopped. Walking to the middle of the hall, Ellie was met with the most beautiful sight she has ever seen.

“Ellie?” She asked, turning around from the piano.

The Williams girl rushed towards her girlfriend, pulling her into a hug, “babe, I was so worried.”

“Why were you worried?” The girl asked, confused.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. Do you come here often?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah… like every night. I like to write,” the girl showed her girlfriend her notebook.

“Every night?” Ellie was in awe, she picked up the notebook, flipping through pages and pages of songs written on those pages. “You write songs?” the girl nodded, “can you sing me anything?” 

 The girl gave Ellie her best smile, before turning to the piano and caressing the keys. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before she started playing.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed

The memory of the two of them inside a car they found during patrol flooded Ellie’s mind.

You drew stars around my cars

But now I’m bleedin’

Ellie still had the stars her girl drew on her back.

‘Cause I knew you

Steppin’ on the last train

Marked me like a bloodstain, I

I knew you

Tried to change the ending

Peter losing Wendy, I

I knew you

Leavin’ like a father 

The auburn haired girl frowned, her girl never talked about her father, but now she knew she wrote about him.

Running like water, I

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss

Their matching tattoos.

I knew you’d hunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time

Flashes of their breakup appeared in Ellie’s mind.

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired

And you’d be standin’ in my front porch light

And I knew you’d come back to me

You’d come back to me

Tears filled her eyes as her girl sang.

And when I felt like I was on old cardigan

Under someone’s bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

“Are you crying?”  The girl asked as Ellie sniffed. 

“I didn’t know you felt like that. Did you really feel like a cardigan?” Ellie hugged her.

The girl chuckled, “I love this song, it’s how we found our way back to each other.”

“I love you,” the Williams girl pulled her into a sweet kiss.

Pulling away, eyes closed and noses touching, it was the closest the two girls have ever felt, “I love you too Els.” 

“Thank you for sharing your song with me,” Ellie pulled her into a kiss again. As she pulled away, Ellie had one more thing she needed to know, “who the fuck are Peter and Wendy?” Ellie could hear her favorite laugh as she finished the question. 

[zerobaseonefics]

now playing ╰₊✧ ﾟ⚬𓂂➢ the 'taylor swift' series

🎹⸝⸝﹕'cardigan' kim jiwoong. [exes to lovers, angst, fluff] tba

kim jiwoong was your first love and the one who made you feel like you were worth it for the first time. unfortunately, after you graduated high school, you had to break up for many reasons. you never dated someone else after him. years passed and you started to think you'll never find true love again when life decided to make you two meet again.

'and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'love story' zhang hao [forbidden love, angst, fluff] tba

zhang hao and you were born in two families that are known to be the biggest rivals since more than 3 generations now. what happens when you end up falling for each other?

'romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'wildest dreams' sung hanbin [idol!hanbin x idol!reader, angst, fluff] tba

three years after your debut, your group is finally getting recognized by the grand public thanks to your new song which is topping the chart. to promote your group, you are sent to the new season of the show 'we got married'. your fake relationship made up for the show with zerobaseone's leader slowly starts to become real... will you get an happy end?

'say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'paper rings' seok matthew [childhood friends to lovers, fluff] tba

you never dared to tell your best friend, matthew, that you kept the paper ring he gave you when you were kids, asking you to marry him. however, after a bit of alcohol and an accident, it seems like there was no point in hiding it anymore.

'i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'lover' kim taerae [established relationship, fluff] tba

after lots of highs and lows, taerae and you can finally tell your kids the whole story about how you met and how you fell in love.

'i've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'enchanted' shen ricky [bestfriends to lovers, fake dating, fluff]

your best friend ricky and you are now reaching the age where your parents want you to find a lover to bring at the annual gala they organize. it might be the push you two needed after secretly having a crush on each other.

'this night is sparkling, don't you let it go, i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'stay stay stay' kim gyuvin [angst, fluff, honestly just idiots that broke up over a dumb thing] tba

okay, maybe you overreacted when you decided to storm off and break up with gyuvin just because he missed you date. now, you're supposed to get him back... unless he does it first.

'i'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, i threw my phone across the room at you'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'georgous' park gunwook [highschool!au, classmates to lovers, fluff] tba

gunwook is quite confused... when he thought he was getting closer to his crush, aka you, the said crush started to be cold towards him. psst, gunwook!! they are just afraid of their feelings!!

'you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'never grow up' han yujin [platonic !!] tba

after two years in college, you started to come back to your parents' house less and less. for the first time in a while now, you were able to come back for christmas. hearing your little brother's whining about random things. with a nostalgic point of view, you teach him that the moments he's living right now are worth it.

'and don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school'

[liannelara-dracula]

Shu Sakamaki in Real Life HCS

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

🎻I probably won’t have much to say because I find his character to be ugh sometimes but I can’t imagine not creating hcs abt this mf.

🎻But it is difficult to come up with things about him, ngl.

🎻Anyhow, if you guys have seen these irl hcs before you’ll know I’m mostly sharing with you my general thoughts, and formulated opinions on this character so here we go!

🎻Okay, so I’m sure we all know he’s the heir and a prince of the vampire kingdom (I know its weird.) And I just have to say this because I don’t say it enough, I really feel like he acts differently in the demon world because he knows his dad will be mad.

🎻So you can expect Shu to be much more expressive as he is the heir, he represents his father and so he needs to be “lively”.

🎻 That being said, he attends gatherings, banquets, and many other events that his father may want him to.

🎻I will say that when he is in the demon world it is much different as he doesn’t act like himself.

🎻Apart from him is still the same in the sense that he is still a pervert.

🎻I mean we know he’ll be with low-ranking vampires or whatever just to get some.

🎻 After all, he has somewhat of an ego even if he doesn’t show it.

🎻So you know he most definitely does believe that because he is the heir he can move from one girl to the next with no strings attached.

🎻All for his advantage of course.

🎻Also speaking of his royalty life I really want to mention the fact that he is very annoyed by all the attention the girls give him.

🎻He literally can’t wait till he goes back to the human world where it's much quieter.

🎻However as a royal he does enjoy the theatre because he can hear classical music.

🎻In fact, he loves it most when he can watch the ballet performances.

🎻If there’s one thing he loves most it’s watching girls do ballet.

🎻He loves watching them practice especially because you know he’s a thigh guy. Apart from being an ass man.

🎻This is honestly where he might take an interest in a girl who's probably a dancer.

🎻I’ve literally made an aesthetic about this here.

🎻And you can read a lot about how he is at school in the demon world here. 

🎻Oh btw he sleeps in only his underwear, that’s just how I see it. (and it's actually canon, I was laughing when I found out I was right.)

🎻I will say that he doesn’t laugh very often, he’ll just have a chuckle that makes anyone uncomfortable but when he full-on laughs it's so fucking rare.

🎻And it freaks out almost anyone, it even got Yui.

🎻He is such an ass I feel like he trolls anyone in, anyway, he can.

🎻His hair is so tangled and I bet he doesn’t wash it that often because he’s lazy

🎻He smells like cotton/linen and a bit of dust.

🎻The best actor to play him would be Toby Regbo.

🎻However the model I found on Pinterest is also a great representation of what he’d look like.

🎻In terms of attitude he really reminds me of Robert Pattinson because he trolls so much. 

🎻The best way to bribe him is with steak, I swear it works every time. 

🎻And I bet my entire ass that Reiji uses it for when he needs big favors.

🎻He loves to be comfortable so I feel like American Eagle, Hollister, Old Navy, and H&M are his go to.

🎻I know he loves cardigans so much so he’s probably extremely picky about the kind he buys.

🎻That’s why he only has three, this is actually canon, I believe it was in one of the game translations in Reiji’s route where he was looking for his jacket and asked Reiji. And Reiji told him it can’t be that hard to find since he has only three, lol.

🎻And idk why but I just feel like he miss places them all around the house.

🎻I also think he keeps so much junk under his bed.

🎻“Huh, I don’t remember that being there.”

🎻If he gets really hot, he just throws his cardigan under the bed.

🎻He once owned a cat, it's not that he went out of his way and bought one. It sorta followed him and so he started to take care of it a little. It lived outside mostly because Reiji wouldn’t tolerate it, but occasionally Shu kept the cat in his room.

🎻He has no idea where the cat went and whether or not it's alive since he hardly kept watch of it.

🎻Although he sometimes wonders where it went, and I think he liked the cat since she sometimes got into Reiji’s things. It was amusing to say the least.

🎻Forgets he puts his music sheets on his bed and ends up sitting on them.

🎻That’s why they’re always somewhat crumbled and folded.

🎻Never makes his bed, he just throws the blanket on and thanks to the butler the room is kept clean.

🎻Otherwise it’d end up like Ayato’s room, to which the butler can never keep up with.

🎻Because he loves music he has vinyl records, and countless CDs in some boxes he keeps under his bed.

🎻He keeps a couple of his favorite books which are in Latin.

🎻Something also tells me if he had a journal, he’d write only Latin because none of his brothers can.

🎻Because he used to be a cashier, he still has his name tag from then and his worker vest.

🎻He keeps in hidden in a corner of his closet.

🎻Speaking of which his closet is so empty and he literally has repeats of the same pants and shirts.

🎻It’s mostly because they were on a good sale.

🎻He will wear the same clothes for like three days or more and not even change out of them.

🎻Doesn’t brush his hair, just goes to school with bed head.

🎻Keeps his door locked so triplets don’t think about pranking him with some clown-related things since he has a fear of them. It's mostly because he’s learned that the hard way.

🎻It's also because he fears they may bring in a caterpillar.

🎻I could totally see Yui trying to feed a caterpillar and he’d flip out in panic and leave immediately. 

🎻He never will admit to his fears and covers them up quite well because he wants no one to know that, especially a girl. lol.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[cheezecakeee]

stray kids as taylor swift's songs🫧 (angst ver.)

skz masterlist | main masterlist

───※ ·❆· ※───

✰Bang Chan : August

"but I can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away in a moment of time, 'cause it was never mine and I can see us twisted in bedsheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine,'cause you were never mine." "back when we were still changin' for the better, wanting was enough for me it was enough. To live for the hope of it all, cancel plans in case you call, meet me behind the mall, so much for summer love and saying us 'cause you weren't mine to lose"

✰ Lee Know : Champagne Problems

"your midas touch on the chevy door, november flush and the flannel cure, "this dorm was once a madhouse" i made a joke, "well, it's made for me". How evergreen our group of friends, don't think we'll say that word again and soon they'll have the nerve to deck the hall that we once walked through. One for the money, two for the show, i never was ready so i watched you go" "and hold your hand while dancing, never leave you standing, crestfallen on the landing with champagne problems. Your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my champagne problems"

✰ Changbin : Right where you left me

"you left me no choice but to stay here forever" "did you hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everyone else, she won't know it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be. Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? Breakups happen everyday, you don't have to lose it, she's still 23 in her fantasy and you're sitting in front of me" " 'Cause I'm right where. I cause no harm, mind my own business, if our love died young, I can't bear witness and it's been so long but if you ever thing you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me"

✰ Hyunjin : Hoax

"stood on the cliffside screaming, "give me a reason", your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in. Don't want no other shade of blue, but you no other sadness in the world would do" "You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, you knew the password, so I let you in the door, you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart but what you did was just as dark, darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart"

✰ Han : Cardigan

"and when i felt like an old cardigan, under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was favourite" "to kiss in cars in downtown bars was all it needed, you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding, 'Cause I knew you steppin' on the last train marked me like a bloodstain, I, I knew you tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy, I, I knew you leaving like a father, running like water" "but i knew you'd linger like a tattooed kiss, i knew you'd haunt all my what if's" "Cause I knew everything when i was young, i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired and you'd be standing in my front porch light and I knew you'd come back to me"

✰ Felix : Back to December

"realized i loved you in fall and then the cold came, the dark days. When fear crept in my mind you gave me all your love, and all i gave you was goodbye" "So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying sorry for that night and I go back to december all the time" "i miss your tan skin, you sweet smile, so good to me, so right and how you held be that september night, first time you ever saw me cry" "maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again, I'd love you right, I'd go back in time and change it but i can't, so if the chain is on your door I understand."

✰ Seungmin : All too well

"we were always skipping town, and i was thinking on the drive down "any time now, he's gonna say it's love", you never called what it was, 'til we were dead and gone and buried. Check the pulse and come back swearin' it's all the same, after three months in the grave and then wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame" "and maybe we got lost in translation and maybe i asked for too much, and maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up, running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well" "and you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the nane if being honest, I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lyin' here, 'cause i remember it all"

✰ I.N : My tears ricochet

"even on my worst day, did i deserve it babe, all the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'til my dying day" "and if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed" "you know, I didn't want to haunt you but what a ghostly scene, you wear the same jewels i gave you as you bury me" "and you can aim for my heart, go for my blood, but yu would still miss me in your bones, and i talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky, and when you can't sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies" "and you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain crossing out the good years and you're cursing my name, wish I stayed, look at my tears ricochet"

───※ ·❆· ※───

[jwonsoon]

enhypen as taylor swift songs ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

☾ a/n: i've been listening to a lot of taylor swift recently and maybe i'm crazy but every song somehow reminds me of enhypen. i've been thinking about them non stop so i made a part two of the post ☼ made since you guys liked that one. this might be kinda all over the place but i hope you enjoy !

JUNGWON

cardigan "When I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite"

comfort. he's my perpetual comfort. on days when i feel like i'm doing nothing right, on days when i feel hopeless, he's always there to spark that 1% within me that wants to keep trying. his continuous effort to communicate with engenes despite his busy schedule shows me that the care he holds for us is something so genuine. he reassures me and gives me reasons to love myself. he will see you crying, sit down next to you and patiently wait and listen. comforting you by holding your hand and wiping your tears. he's always there to make your life feel worth living again. jungwon will never leave you hanging or feeling like you aren't enough; you're always enough for him. a/n my jungwonie i love you

JAKE

safe & sound "You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now"

jake to me embodies emotional protection. he's the type to hold you gently while you cry into his arms, rubbing your back telling you it's going to be okay. no matter what happens he's right there by your side the whole time. the reason i picked this song is because i can imagine jake staying up all night with you when you're overwhelmingly anxious. even if his head keeps jerking back and forth because of how tired he is, he'll make sure you fall asleep first so that he can sleep knowing you're alright.

JAY

right where you left me "You left me no choice but to stay here forever"

angsty, i know. there's two reasons why i think this song perfectly captures him. one being, his loyalty. no matter what happens he'll stay by your side. there are time when it's hard to keep going and there's a back and forth struggle but jay will be consistent and check in on you. he will sit by you and wait for you to feel better, his patience has no end when it comes to those he cares about and it's his most charming quality among many others. i also just think he's so "first love" coded. you are never getting over jay! no matter how hard you try! - but don't worry because he's waiting for you to come back too...

NIKI

paper rings "I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings"

thats bestie!!! riki symbolizes happy young love for me. best friends to lovers type. his teasing flirty manner would always make you giggle. knowing how artsy he is he would definitely make you some goofy paper ring and "propose" to you, leaving you a flustered mess. i just think this song is so upbeat and pretty and incapsulates niki's playfulness perfectly. a/n i love him so much i'm going to rip my walls out.

HEESEUNG

gorgeous "You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face"

i mean... do i even have to explain? heeseung's charm is irresistible. no matter how much his constant teasing would annoy you, when you look up and see his face all of it melts away. he's so hallway crush coded, he would make you feel all giddy inside simply because of a passing head nod or just a slight smile. don't even get me started on his perfect laugh and smile! i can write a 4000 word essay on it. anywho, it's self explanatory. heeseung = gorgeous!

SUNOO

invisible string And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some, Invisible string, Tying you to me?

sunoo is destiny. i remember watching iland and from the very beginning my eyes were hooked onto him. and now, here i am, three years later writing this. his comforting smile and how he gives so much love to those around him helps me recognize how genuinely kind of a person he is. he's someone you want to keep close. no matter what happens sunoo will always find a way to provide you with solace and light on the darker days. he's pretty, the concept of soulmates is pretty, he is such a person destined to be loved and cared for deeply. no one ever hurt him please.

SUNGHOON

the way i loved you "So in love that you act insane and that's the way I loved you"

now, let me preface this by saying, i don't think sunghoon is toxic... this is just to feed my angst loving delusions. sunghoon is the one the got away. he's the one who you cared for so deeply but it was right person wrong time. despite how much he pushed to keep your relationship intact it was hard for him. he didn't want to fight you, he wanted to fight for you. sunghoon is the type to not let you leave until you figure it out with him. he'll sit with you even if you yell at him and just listen to you. he's cares about you so deeply that you can't help but constantly think about him even when he isn't there. - because he is also constantly thinking about you.

[oh-my-wolfstar]

Taylor Swift Wolfstar songs day 1

I have to start with the best, Cardigan.

I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby, kiss it better, I

Sirius was always being impulsive and messing stuff up, but he was always making it better. Remus knows this about him.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

sort of just a general reference to the way Remus wears old sweaters a lot, but also how he felt in his friend group with two really popular boys. Sirius made him feel special and loved.

You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleedin'

to me, this lyric is about how Sirius made Remus feels safe and loved, and then betrayed him to Snape

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long

Remus would never be able to forget Sirius, and their relationship would always haunt him. This could be applied to directly after the prank or years later, when serious was in Azkaban

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

this is just Remus generally being very smart, but also him knowing that Sirius could end up hurting him

And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me

again, this could be Sirius coming back and apologizing after the prank or him coming back from Azkaban

This song is just so Wolfstar coded and can really be applied to so many situations. For me, I usually relate it to the prank, but it can also be related to Azkaban or so many other head cannons. This song will always represent Wolfstar for me.

[hoes4hoseok]

enhypen as folklore

i enjoyed writing this so so so much and i had forgotten how much i liked writing these! the last few i churned out from a sense of obligation but i had a lot of fun with this one :) i hope you like it!

ni-ki as my tears ricochet

"cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet"

i'm so sorry for this...we sure are starting with a bang because the lyric "i can go anywhere i want, just not home" physically makes me ache when i'm thinking about ni-ki 😭

1. he's literally far from home irl & 2. if you were with ni-ki...he'd feel like home & any end to the relationship would make you feel lost

overall, i just associate that type of hurt with ni-ki (yikes🤧💔)

jay as mirrorball

"i'm still on that tightrope, i'm still tryin' everything to get you laughing at me"

oh my goodness jay is such a mirrorball.

i'm not saying that he's desperate for attention or that he doesn't get any, (that's not what the song describes, anyways) but rather that he's trying. his best.

i get it if you don't understand the vision at first glance but after i gave it some thought i can see it so clearly

jungwon as seven

"we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry, or hide in the closet"

this song is so sweet & innocent in how it describes a childhood perspective of things & how simple we thought problems were then

i think that jungwon maintains a little bit of that innocent optimism even though he's older now :)

what really seals the deal for me is that he's the leader & literally solves problems for the group all the time (presumably)

i don't mean that he solves them like a child would, but the nostalgic comfort that the song brings is similar to the comfort i feel you'd get talking to jungwon 🤧

jake as august

"august slipped away into a moment in time 'cause it was never mine"

jake is wouldn't hurt you on purpose, & i think that goes without saying because he seems like such a sweetheart

but man, if you catch him at a vulnerable moment when his heart resides with someone else...he will break. your. heart.

the whole idea of not being able to call the end of a relationship what it is in your heart because you were never really together & he never really cared the way you did...CHILLS. terrifying. (my heart goes out to those who have experienced that irl, i'm so sorry).

jake fits the idea because i think he's trustworthy. like,, he could smile & you'd probably be sold (no offense)

again, at the end of the day, he didn't mean to hurt you. maybe that's what hurts most 👊

heeseung as illicit affairs

"you know damn well, for you, i would ruin myself a million little times"

i've always heard this song in two ways: a very literal sense of having a physical affair in secret && a more emotional version of it

personally, i can picture myself getting my heart broken by heeseung in both senses! might just be me though 😀

the thing is, he seems so charming & falling fast for him would be so easy that if you did, it's very possible that he wouldn't fall in the same way you did (i'm crying the song has been playing on loop for ten minutes now)

i was originally gonna give this one to jay & mirrorball to heeseung!! lmk what you think

sunoo as betty

"the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you"

sunoo would 100% be willing to serenade his apology...that being said, i do not think he's a cheater!

i feel like if he hurt you he'd want to make it up to you & apologize at the same time instead of hoping you just take the apology alone...like this man will make you feel WORTH IT

AGAIN he'd never cheat though ✋ (i think) but if he made you feel bad he's gonna fix it,, he isn't leaving you feeling like an old cardigan under someone's bed

for the record, i'm a 'betty takes james back' truther though.

sunghoon as the lakes

"i'm setting off, but not without my muse, no, not without you"

i am so passionate about preaching how this song & sunghoon are perfect for each other EEK

i love assigning songs about heartbreak to sunghoon because i just see him as a heartbreaker (whoops) but whoever he DOES end up with (if anyone) is one lucky mf

the idea of "all you need is each other" makes me melt because it's so so so romantic

it's not realistic for all couples & that's okay but i can see sunghoon wanting that kind of relationship someday :)

but beyond that he's also private & not very social (by his own description) so he just generally seems like he'd resonate with it 🥰

txt version ☆ evermore version ☆ masterlist

[use-your-imagination98]

GH Couples Inspired By Taylor Swift Songs

Had this in my drafts for FOREVER. thought it was a good time to post it haha. 

Alan and Monica: The Last Great American Dynasty

And they said

"There goes the last great American dynasty"

"Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been"

Luke and Laura: My Tears Ricochet

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

Luke and Tracy: Better Man

I know

I’m probably better off all alone

Than needing a man who could

Change his mind at any given minute

Laura and Scotty: New Year’s Day

Please don't ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Laura and Kevin: Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Kevin and Lucy: Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Frisco and Felicia: Closure

Yes, I'm doing better

I know that it's over, I don't need your

Closure

Mac and Felicia: Ours

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours

Robert and Anna:  It's Nice to Have a Friend

Call my bluff, call you "babe"

Have my back, yeah, everyday

Anna and Valentin: Sparks Fly

My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you, imagined I would be

Sonny and Brenda: The 1

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool

And if my wishes came true

It would've been you

Sonny and Carly: Haunted

​​You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

Sonny and Alexis: Blank Space

So hey, let's be friends

I'm dying to see how this one ends

Stone and Robin: Sad Beautiful Tragic

We had a beautiful magic love there

What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Robin and Patrick: This Love

This love is good

This love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead

Lucky and Elizabeth: Tolerate It

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

Nikolas and Emily: Happiness

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Nikolas and Elizabeth: Dress

Our secret moments in your crowded room

They've got no idea about me and you

Ned and Alexis: Stay Stay Stay

You took the time to memorize me

My fears, my hopes and dreams

I just like hanging out with you

All the time

Alexis and Julian: Death By A Thousand Cuts

I get drunk but it's not enough

'Cause you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

LuLu and Dante: Wildest Dreams

Someday when you leave me

I bet these memories

Follow you around

Sam and Jason: It’s Time To Go

15 years, 15 million tears

Begging 'til my knees bled

I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all

Then wondered why I left

Sam and Dante: Cardigan

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

Chase and Brook Lynn: Mastermind

Once upon a time, the planets and the fates

And all the stars aligned

You and I ended up in the same room

At the same time

Spencer and Trina: Invisible String

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Cameron and Jossyln: Karma

Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant

You're terrified to look down

'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare

Of everyone you burned just to get there

Elizabeth and Franco: Red

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

Maxie and Nathan: Enchanted

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

[steveshaped]

i knew you'd come back to me

a/n: i was searching for a christmas fic with steve, a little bit of fluff and a whole lot of angst. this is just me scratching that itch. btw this is a sideblog which i'm using to write and i don't know if i will continue using it or not.

anyway, this is entirely inspired by my obsession with cardigan by taylor swift so... here we are.

pairing: steve rogers x reader

content warnings: angst, fem! implied reader but can be read as gn! too. the snap didn't happen but time travel did, go along with it, would you? kinda sad ending maybe.

you stare at the pumpkin cookie dough as thoughts of last december creep in. snow, spaghetti, sparkling champagne, shortcakes, silver on the table and these cookies.

those were the kind of dinners you had with steve.

gooseflesh erupted on the back of your neck as you felt the cold air seep in through the door as someone walked in, snapping you out of the memory.

"good evening, would you like to order a coffee?" you ask customarily as you get ready to take his order.

"uh, yeah, can i get a pumpkin spiced latte with vanilla?"

you look up at the guy, almost hoping to see someone else. steve always ordered that since the first time you suggested it to him.

white snow and black coffee, that's who he was before he met you. until you started adding more spice to his life.

it was the middle of december and for some reason you've had steve on your mind all day long. the last time that you had thought of him was when a memory popped up on your phone with a picture of the two of you. you've since deleted all the pictures from your phone (of course, after taking a backup) but that was when you'd finally taken a step to put it past you. that was when you'd decided to stop making yourself suffer in the tiniest of ways. 

today was not helping.

today had been full of coincidences. if that's what it still was, a coincidence. you had gone to pick up your dress from the dry cleaners after your daily run in the morning and you'd seen the exact pair of levi's that steve owned. perhaps not the exact one because this pair had a huge stain on it. so you wound up thinking about the night when he'd been wearing those when he took you out on a date and you both ended up drinking a lot of wine with dinner. he was barely intoxicated, obviously– but being around your silly goofy drunk self made him less sober. and when you both stumbled into your home, unable to locate the light switches– steve opened your curtains whilst you played some music from your phone and took out the good wine for the both of you to have. then your favourite song came on and steve asked you to dance– the streetlight streaming in– illuminating his face– he almost looked younger, carefree, more than you'd ever seen him. you leaned your head on his shoulder as he placed his hands on your waist, both swaying with the beat.

you remember that later when you'd changed into your sweats and crept into the bed with him, you were grateful that it was a sunday the next day and you'd be lucky enough to wake up next to him rather than be greeted with an empty bed as usual. steve adjusted as you climbed under the covers with him and his hand crept up your back, under your sweatshirt, trailing your spine– always at the same spot. as you tried to fall asleep, you spent some time tracing the stretch marks on his arms. the ones he said he had gotten when he was treated with the supersoldier serum and his body grew too quickly, too soon. he wore a thrifted vintage tee, the one he'd found when you took him to your favourite thrift shop down the street. not quite as old as him, but then again, only a few things were. somehow he gravitated towards them, feeling a kinship towards the lost things of the world. it was the same tshirt you'd seen a dad wearing in the park you'd gone to for your morning run.

normally you didn't have time to notice your body when you got ready for work. but today you noticed the constellation of stars tattooed on your knee. the ones he'd drawn after you slipped and fell in the shower and ended up with a large bruise and swollen knee. steve took care of you the whole day, he gave your knee kisses 'to make it heal faster', the way his ma used to. when he was finally leaving the next morning to go on a mission with nat, he drew those stars– a kiss that would stay with you. you waited for your knee to get better, wrapping it up and making the ink last longer on your skin till you could finally make it permanent.

but it was inevitable, you always knew you'd loose him. every time he went on a mission, every moment he wasn't with you, you were preparing yourself for it.

only when you had started to feel more secure– only when you'd catch yourself daydreaming of a future with him– that was when you'd lost him. you remember the car ride to the train station when he was leaving again for new york that week. you'd been feeling odd that day, for no apparent reason. you assured yourself that steve will come back soon. he'd been living with you for the past couple of months until he got a call from tony (only that it was bruce) telling him about some infinity stones.

the steve you knew, listened to you. when he left, he'd grown out his hair and beard on your suggestion– that was your steve. not the version that everyone else knew. the steve you knew was a human being who sometimes made mistakes, occassionally had mood swings, on some days he loved you more and other days not so much (on days you'd had another one of your fights about his retirement) but at the end of the day, he was yours. that's what you thought.

everyone else thought that if anything, steve was loyal. but when the war was over and steve left with the infinity stones, you sat in your home waiting. for days and days you had waited. but there was no news of him. had something happened to him? did he need saving? if so, why didn't anyone go back for him? and no one would say anything. not even bucky. you weren't sure if you had to grieve or not. the only thing you knew was that steve was alive. he didn't come back to you though.

until tonight, when you came back home to find someone sitting on your porch, waiting for you. it took you some time to register. it was steve, it really was him but, he was older. much much older than the steve you knew. 

"y/n"

"steve" you said, surprisingly with a steady voice. you didn't know if that made you look brave or detached. would it make him think that what you had was not real? but if he really went back to live his life then did he ever think of your relationship as something real?

"can we talk?" he asked. his voice was heavier, older too. you let the man in. made him a fresh cup of coffee. 

"the cold really hits you at this age" he says and you laugh out loud. steve was never cold, even when you'd be shivering with teeth chattering cold, you could still find him to be perfectly warm. on occasions you have used him as a human heat regulator. you hand him a hot cup of coffee as you sit down on the couch.

he explains what happened. he explains how he chose peggy. he was a loyal man after all, he had to show up for the promised dance. and he stayed, he wanted to. but he didn't want to hurt you. you'd only been together for how long? you let him finish because you didn't want to fight him. you don't even know how to anymore because this man wasn't the steve you knew. this man had lived his life.

so you let him finish his story. about how he'd passed on his shield to sam. how he needed to come back a last time to explain everything to you because you didn't deserve what he did to you. it took him months because he was sorting out legal stuff. and then some more time to decide what to say to you. and here he was.

last christmas you had steve, tackling you with kisses. a dust of sugar on your nose that he licked up for you. and the sweet aftertaste in his mouth when he kissed you right after. of steve, of sweet vanilla and pumpkin spice from his coffee that he'd had earlier.

you had met him on the train from new york. you'd get to talking around when he way eyeing your cookies (which smelled delicious, who wouldn't?) and so you ended up offering him some. you had some pretty good laughs on that ride, and you didn't mind that he finished up your snack. you'd only known him as steve. so when he asked you out on a date while geting off on the station, you weren't surprised– he was a charming man. and you weren't afraid of admitting that he had your heart right then.

and it's hard to believe that it was only last year that steve was here, putting up the ornaments on the tree for you, massaging your feet after you came home from a very busy day at the cafe, him kissing you at midnight on new years. why is everything so different now? you couldn't help but wonder, what if it wasn't? what if that steve was still here?

but he wasn't. and for that you forgive him, you had to. for your own good. he chose peggy and you forgive him because what you had with him was enough for you. 

you never did hope for a lifetime with him. 

what you had was a lifetime. 

"it's okay steve" you said. and he knew that you were okay then, that you will be okay without him.

that night was the last you saw of him, you sat beside him with your head on his shoulder, breathing him in for the last time as you held his warm hand between your cold palms. and before he left, you kissed his cheek for the last time. you had him at last. he came back to you. and your's was the last kiss he would hold.

[schlattsdoll]

hiiiii because no wait i just read the one abt dear john and oMG

u dont have to add onto this but food for thought....

after releasing that, she also releases "cardigan" (lets pretend its not abt a guy who was playing 2 girls at one time and abandoned her after making her feel special.... um) .

"and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someones bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite." "you drew stars around my scars but now im bleeding"

just imagining it as a sweeter song makes my heart MELT because its so schlatt coded,, like yes he absolutely would take time to worship every single scar or scratch you have because u are his favorite person ever!!

y’all are doing the lords work with the tswift requests omg i don’t even like her 😂

playing it at your first concert since dating schlatt and dedicating it to him. he hadn’t heard it yet, you prevented him from hearing it until the show.

you played it after dear john, first saying “now many of you thought that last song was about my beloved jay. this next song is actually brand new and i’m playing it for the first time here tonight, and this one is about him. jay, you’ve supported me through good and bad times, and supported my dreams. thank you, i love you. here’s my new single, cardigan”.

him smiling at every word, and tearing up a little bit during the lines you mentioned. his heart is so full at you being so vulnerable with him and trusting him so much you wrote about your love. he made you at peace finally, and your fans can see that.

only you two knew how personal and intimate that song really was. schlatt would spend hours kissing over every scar and mark left behind on you, and even more fixing the ones he didn’t make emotionally.

he’s the first to start cheering when you finish singing, wanting to rush the stage and kiss you immediately. he decides to be a good boyfriend and does exactly that, running from the wings to kiss you quickly. you see nothing but a sea of phone flashes going off as both your fans and his try and capture this moment. “first person to tweet me that photo gets free merch.” he joked.