#like the jrpg cleric and the d&d cleric are such different beasts

[auspicioustidings]

BG3 AU with a bunch of buff warrior men and their weak little cleric healer.

OK SO the trope of the little weak cleric is hysterical to me because as a cleric you almost always take con as your second highest stat. Like any cleric I have ever played has been hefty as fuck so they can deal with enemies trying to take down the healer.

The actual squishy healing class would be the bard! Like these buff warriors who want a cleric but every cleric they tried to bully has been too much a tank, whacked them and walked away. It's exceedingly easy to bully the bard though. What you gonna do? Angrily play the lute at me? (Vicious mockery never seems to work either since they don't actually have any shame and saying things like "son of a whore" only sends them off on a tangent about all the tricks they learned at the whorehouse).

They're awful sure, but in a sweeter turn of events they are so gentle when it comes time to camp. They find the soft singing and playing of their bard to be such a comfort and they make sure that in recompense they get the softest bedroll and are wrapped in big warm arms to protect them from the chill.