#like the bully was a bit two dimensional and stereotypically dumb jock

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

aaaaaa i just watched nimona (thank you @gnomewithalaptop for actually getting me to) and it was so good holy shit

i know im late to the party but the themes??? of treating someone like a monster until they break and actually become one????? of being told to minimize yourself to be accepted????? of being told that you're unlovable if you're fully yourself???????? of realizing the good and moral system you worked so hard to uphold is actually fucked and wants to kill you or those you love?????? im gonna swallow a lamp

[canacereviewstrash-blog]

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle | Movie Review

The title triggered me because Trash Sultana (okay I understand it’s mean calling her that but I had to. This IS trash reviews, after all), but I promise you it’s much better than the song.

This film follows four teenagers who get sucked into a video game with their only way out being winning the game, or dying. They must learn to work together despite being practically strangers, and with themselves, to win the game and, you know, not die. A true story of friendship, adventure and how hot Nick Jonas is.

Things I didn’t like:

This move was VERY cheesy. I previously loved all the actors in it (except Kevin Hart) but the only character I actually liked in the movie was Fridge (so, Kevin Hart) because he seemed to be the only one who wasn’t falling into some trashy high school stereotype. I understand he was the ‘big, bully jock who is dumb’ but it wasn’t overdone like the others. It was, ya know, realistic. The only thing was at the end when he said “I don’t play a lot of video games” as if it was just a “nerd” thing to do, like dude, ALL teenage boys play video games whether they’re nerds, athletes, stoners, and yes, even the gay guys. Video games are such a common way for boys to procrastinate so don’t you try and tell me that this kid who can’t find time to do his homework is spending all this time playing basketball.

The teenage actors were trash. Again, the only actor I liked was Fridge’s actor. He was the only teenager in that movie who actually seemed like a real kid.

The intro was super lame and rushed. I understand that them getting put on detention wasn’t the main subject of the movie, but I feel like there should have been a little bit more detail put in. It would have been a great way to build the characters in a non-stereotypical, cheesy way, but instead they just went for the quick and easy way and created two dimensional characters. Very trashy. And everything was way too convenient. When they were all picking their characters, they pretended to look through all the characters but really, they just went in a row. First person got the first character listed, and etc. But, I’m just going to pretend the first few minutes of the movie didn’t exist.

Things I did like:

It was really funny. Once they were in the video game, with the good actors and all, it started getting really good, aside from the random bits of thirty-year-old-men-trying-to-relate-to-teenagers that were scattered throughout the whole movie. Each character had their own flaws and they were used to create an almost perfect humour. I loved how funny it was.

It was super exciting and I was on the edge of my seat A LOT. I thought it would be super predictable, because at first it was, but then it got more and more intense and less predictable and I was so on edge the entire time because I wasn’t sure what on earth was going to happen.

It wasn’t as great a movie as I’d hoped it to be, but it was still entertaining and I would probs watch it again.

I rate this 🗑🗑🗑🗑🗑🗑🗑/10 watch this movie for a preview of what my first kiss is gonna be like