#like that alone is a thing to be proud of. i know myself and i'm kinder to myself and i take care of myself
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merrymorningofmay · 4 months ago
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walked a mile in clown shoes (tried to explain to bestie which parts of armand's character i relate to without sounding like a huge red flag)
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fionnaskyborn · 11 months ago
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there's something to be said about the very specific feeling of frailty you feel when you come face to face with just how little you've experienced. twenty-odd years on planet earth and you haven't really watched all that many movies. an unlived life facing an uncertain future. i do not know where to point the finger of blame because i live untethered from my past, floating in the present with no clear point of reference no clear definition of who i am or what happened to me and how i turned out the way i am (fucking. can you guess why five is my favorite game. insert that one lyric from that one modest mouse song.) but you're still here, and you can still learn, and you can catch up, but it still feels like you're a pitiful little nobody looking for excuses trying to explain why you're still new to the whole being alive thing. i've got a good head on my shoulders, though, for all that's worth, so i think i might be fine.
in other news, i watched scarface tonight. it was certainly a movie. don't really understand how the movie made it big, but it did have some damn good music. i mean, i don't know. i'm still learning about the world i live in. maybe it really is as much of a masterpiece as people make it out to be and i'm too dumb to see the reason why it's considered a classic. maybe i'm right. i can't tell at the moment. it's kind of a beggars can't be choosers situation - if you ain't watched that many movies, then you can't really be a good judge of quality. but, oh, well. it's one more movie watched. it's a win because i watched a movie. and i'll watch more movies.
#i mean this extends to things like world politics also i'm still learning and i'm eager to learn beyond what i am offered but that doesn't#make the process any less fucking terrifying. like sure fuck yeah i'll be a big shot and do it alone and i'll be proud of myself but the#thing is i really really really don't know how to be alone without feeling empty#and it's funny because the thing i yearn for the most is to be free and to create myself and do things on my own and i can do that i've#learned how to be an adult very early on and people say ah you've yet to face the worst but every time they tell me that i tell them i can't#wait#but at the same time sometimes i sit and i wonder why i haven't watched that many movies. was there nobody to watch them with? could i have#asked? could things have been different? is it my fault for never having really wanted things or somebody else's? and i'll never really have#a clear answer to any of those questions or at least not anytime soon because my cranium is messed up and unreliable but i won't get the#answers anywhere else. shrugs. i've yet to start living a life. i don't know when i died but i do know but maybe that's just an idea and#maybe i've been dead all along until some point in the past two years but then what are all those memories i have where did they come from#why are they so far apart why do they feel mine and foreign at the same time. can you guess who my favorite mg character is.#well okay i have like what four or five of those but read the text again and think really really hard about it. i'm just kidding i'm goofing#around at this point. i mean no not really but i am smiling about it. :]#logs
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highwaydiamonds · 2 years ago
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starting a new job tomorrow (monday) morning and am feeling about 72 (million) different things all at once because of it
#scared - so scared i will mess this up too#scared no one will like me#scared i will not be good at this#afraid i will hate the job#what if something happens to make me late - like witht he car tomorrow#just - it's new and there are so many unknowns and i don't like unknowns - they're just SCARY#and i don't want to eat lunch alone and i feel like i'm going to be and rn it's not a comfortable alone - it will be in time i know#but rught now it doesn't feel like alone by choice - it feels like alone by dint of ew no one wants to eat lunch with you - which sucks#and my aunts - or one of them anyway sent congratulations to me via one of the people i live with - who are speaking to them more than i am#the last time the aunts corresponded with me - it was via text abd they basically did tough love intervention style texting#which - they had every right to say how they felt - and i think they were right about some things#but it also felt like they were kicking a puppy when it was down - and well - i was the puppy being kicked#so when i got the job and one of the friends i live with asked if i would call my aunt(s0 to tell them i said no#i know they love me but i'm not interested in putting myself in a position to feel lambasted again#you saying you're proud now doesn't mean much any more - i needed you to say that you loved me then#that you knew i was messing uo but that you loved me regardless and you knew i could do better - not the yelling at via text that i got#you don't get both - i can't handle both. so yes fine i know you love me but it's going to be from a distance#and i love you too in some kind of way - one that right now is hurt and sad because i don't think you care how i feel at all#but i am trying to do right and do better - and i don't want to do things from spite but#i admit there is a part of me that when i get to better place - i want to be able to say - no i'm not contacting them bc idgaf#but i also know that's not likely to be true and isn't kind and not how i realy want to live and be#and wow that really turned into one hell of an emo tangent#anyway - i'm stopping myself now - i got some catharsis there and i need to get ready for bed so i won't be a total mess in the AM#if anyone has actually read this all please wish me luck - i could use it#and i know i will have to make the luck on my own anyway#i just keep thiking of- what if i fall? but oh my darling what if you fly?
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magentagalaxies · 11 months ago
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since today was the last day of the semester a bunch of my classmates and i were reflecting on where we were one year ago vs where we think we'll be at the end of next semester and of course i was like "yeah one year ago i had just wrapped my musical other girls, which was such a big project i worked on it for four years i was very proud of it but also it took such a toll on my mental health that even tho i had this huge accomplishment i was still dealing with very intense depression. but that was also the early days of when i first started connecting with paul bellini online, and by the end of next semester i'll have accomplished so much of my work on the buddy cole documentary i'll have finished fundraising and filmed behind the scenes stuff from scott's tour and had scott visit my college and met so many industry people and i'll be getting ready to move to toronto at the end of 2024"
and everyone was like hell yeah that's awesome. and then they started doing their reflections/predictions and so many of them were like "one year ago was when i met my partner for the first time and we're still together and she's amazing" or "one year ago i got dumped and it broke my heart but it led me to meet my current partner and he's amazing" or "last year was rough bc i'd been single for a solid two years and i was worried i wouldn't find someone, but now i have my current partner..."
and since i'm very single and haven't had a partner in much more than 2 years i started getting a little sad like wow everyone my age is finding love and having tumultuous romantic lives that lead them to finding a deeper connection what am i even doing here
and my brain just goes motherfucker you literally just said "one year ago i finished production on an original musical i wrote/composed/directed. six months from now i will be in the process of directing a feature film with my favorite comedians that is going to quite possibly launch my career. why would you want to be doing anything else
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shittygothbitch · 1 month ago
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:)
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thedeliaishere · 1 year ago
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YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.
COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.
LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.
DAMAGED MORALE - 1
Transgender? What's that?
This doesn't have any bearing on the investigation.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."
Gender is rather bourgeois, anyway.
Why would any proud Revacholian discard their masculinity?
Changing your gender? That sounds like quite the hustle. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this woman.
That's cool. I have no opinion on this one way or another.
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!
EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.
COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!
"Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry."
"I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'll leave you alone forever now."
"I haven't been a good representative of the RCM. We're here to help the people of Martinaise, no matter their identity. I'm sorry to have let you down."
[Drama - Legendary 14] Try and come up with an elaborate, heartfelt apology in the style of the turn of the century thespians.
HIGH 83% +1 Found testosterone ampoule on nightstand. +1 Homo-Sexual Underground. +1 Read about the turn of the century thespians. -1 Recovered your gun. -1 Masculinity challenged. This is a Red Check. It cannot be retried.
⚀⚀
CHECK FAILURE
YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.
DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.
KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.
COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?
VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.
You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"
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dipyou-inhoney · 1 year ago
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gguk-n · 16 days ago
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Jokes In The Cloud (Carlos Sainz x Comedian!Reader)
No Face Claim. All the pictures are from Pinterest.
CONGRATULATIONS TO CARLOS ON WINNING HIS SECOND GP THIS SEASON!!
punchlineprincess
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punchlineprincess Vacationing with the people who get on my nerve the most
y/bff/user you forgot to take me😔😔 punchlineprincess y/bff/user sorry bbg, next trip with you alone😘😘 y/cousin/user you annoy us more🙂 y/mum/user not a nice thing to say Y/N punchlineprincess y/mum/user I was joking😅😅 user1 if someone saw her IG they would think she's a model😍😍 user2 God I've seen what you've done for others, when is it my turn🥲🥲 user3 pretty and funny. I want her!!❤️❤️
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{Reader's POV}
The gears in my head my turning, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I still had to refine my script; I was sure I could do it if I have a few hours. "Sweetheart, dinner's ready" my dad called out from the bedroom door. "Dad, I have to leave" I stated. "To where?" my dad asked, walking in. "You know that Netflix special I was gonna film" I began, he nodded along, "well, they want to film it on Monday" I finished. "That's in a day" he stated. "2, since it's in New York" I explained. "Cassidy will send me my tickets, but I think I'll be leaving now" I spoke. "Sorry about ditching the family trip. I know how important it was for you" I mumbled. "It's okay, darling. This is bigger. This will catapult you to fame like you always wanted, I mean I'm already so proud of you but this is still bigger" he explained trying to calm me. "Me and your mum will help you pack, come on" he said and called my mum.
The two of them helped me pack my bags. He explained how my Netflix special would be filmed soon and I would be leaving soon to everyone. All my younger cousins and nieces and nephews were so excited. Cassidy sent me the tickets. I made sure to pack everything while my mum fed me, it was chaos in the best way possible. "I'll be leaving now" I hugged my parents good bye. "Can't wait to watch it" my aunt spoke patting my back. "Mention us" one of my younger cousin's spoke. "I'll try" I laughed. My niece kissed my cheek wishing me good bye. My nephew wasn't ready to let me go yet, my brother had to pull him off me.
I waved good bye as the taxi left the resort, my family waving back as I disappeared. The ride to the airport was short, I was too busy going through my material to notice when I reached the airport. I paid the taxi driver and hauled my luggage to the check-in desk. The person behind it, checked me in and I was headed to immigration. This was the first time I noticed that I was sitting first class. When did my manager have this kind of money to book first class. I'd have to bring it up with her once I had the time.
I got done with all the formality and headed to the waiting area, where I spent my time going through my script and tweaking it ever so often. I downed a RedBull to try to align myself to New York time, so that I can combat the jet lag.
As the speaker's announced the boarding for my flight, I grabbed all my stuff with the plan to finish it up on the plane. The air-host lead me to my seat. I noticed a man sat on the seat next to mine, he looked an awful lot familiar, until it hit me that it was Carlos Sainz; my heart started pounding. I walked up to my seat, put my luggage away and sat down. My hands were shaking by the time I sat down, pulling my laptop out. I started typing away with shaky hands. "Is that a script?" a voice came from beside me. I turned around to find Carlos with his head turned, trying to figure out what's written. "Yeah, I'm a comedian, this is a script for my show" I tried to speak as confidently and calmly as possible. "That's cool. I'm Carlos, Carlos Sainz" he introduced himself. "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N" I shook his hand. "I'm a Formula One driver, maybe you'e heard about me" he further elaborated. I know, I've been obsessed with you for years, my poor brother has to listen to me talk about you for hours after every race, analysing the whole race. I have a fan account called carloslover, were the thoughts running through my head. "Yeah, I must've heard about Formula One some where" I said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Well it's nice to meet you" Carlos said. "It's nice to meet you too" I said with a smile. "I'll let you get back to your work" Carlos said pointing at my laptop.
I spent a couple more minutes working on it before I was disturbed by Carlos, not like I was complaining; "I'm sorry but I'm kind of curious about what the script your working on is about" Carlos spoke slowly. "I'm filming a Netflix special in New York. So, I'm fine tuning my script" I chuckled. "Oh, sorry for disturbing you" Carlos replied sheepishly. Damn, he looked so cute, I caught myself fawning at him. "Ah, it's nothing." I quickly looked away, "I love when people are interested in what I do" I smiled. "Then, I will continue to annoy you a bit" he laughed. "Be my guest" I smiled back.
A few more tweaks and a good hour later, I was able to close the laptop, happy with the script I had at hand. "I'm guessing you're done" Carlos chimed in. "I am" I said stretching a little. "Maybe you could practice a bit with me" Carlos suggested. "I do want to practice my crowd work" I thought out loud.
"So, Carlos are you really a full time driver or a model? I can't really tell" I said. Carlos's face turned red, "Is this how you do crowd work?" he trailed. "I, no, can't let the opportunity to flirt with a man as handsome as you go" I smirked. Carlos's blush only deepened, "So, I'm special" he laughed. "Obviously" I shrugged. "If it's anything, I thought you were a model and not a comedian" he retorted. "I get that a lot. But doesn't work in my profession when people don't think pretty people tell good jokes" I retorted back. "I've never heard any of your jokes, but I'm sure you're funny since Netflix wants you" Carlos said. "Hope so" I said holding up my hands with crossed fingers.
I felt like the time flew by, as Carlos kept me company. Just as the flight was about to land; "Will I see you again?' Carlos asked hopefully. "You could, if I had your number" I remarked. Carlos pulled his phone out and handed it to me. I put my number in and called myself. "I'll see you soon." I winked as I saved Carlos's number. "Can't wait" Carlos replied, smiling at me as we grabbed our luggage to leave.
Cassidy was waiting for me as I exited the airport. "I'm so sorry, I should've checked my emails" she apologised grabbing my bag. "It's fine, let's go. I'm exhausted" I replied grabbing my bag back. We caught an uber back to the hotel. I rehearsed my script with Cassidy for the next few hours, trying not to memorise it so it would sound genuine.
punchlineprincess
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punchlineprincess Done filming my first special, can't wait for it to air🥹🥹
y/bff/user I'M SO EXCITED🤭🤭 user4 I'll watch it just to see that outfit😍 user5 so pretty😍😍 y/mum/user so proud of my baby💖 y/dad/user my baby's all grown up😭❤️
punchlineprincess
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punchlineprincess Joked my way into his life🫣🫣
y/bff/user ooohhhh who is this??👀👀 y/dad/user what is this behaviour y/n??? user6 OMG!!! I love this❤️❤️ user7 the best couple ever and idek the guy😅😅 user9 y/n being sporty wasn't in my bingo card🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ user10 the golf date!!!❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 user11 I want to go to an art museum with my lover and imitate art like that😏😏 user12 this is so Carlos coded plus he's in the likes😣😣
punchlineprincess
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punchlineprincess I may have gone overboard for the premier at home🥲😅
y/bff/user I'M SCREAMING WHILE WATCHING IT🥹🥹 y/mum/user my baby❤️ carlossainz55 so proud of you ❤️Liked by Author user13 what does Carlos mean by that, like he knows her🙂👀 user14 the funniest shit i've watched in a while🤣🤣 user15 loved this so much!!!❤️🤣 user16 finally the real comedian that's getting the recognition she deserves😂😂
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punchlineprincess
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Liked by carlossainz55, y/bff/user and 1278,340 others Tagged carlossainz55
punchlineprincess Sorry I'm not normal about my boyfriend winning his second race this season😭😭
carlossainz55 I think having you there was my lucky charm🍀❤️ punchlineprincess carlossainz55 aww!! but it was your big brain and hard work❤️❤️🥹 y/bff/user aww!! watching both my babies win respectively 😭😭Liked by carlossainz55 and punchlineprincess y/dad/user good job Carlos👍 Liked by carlossainz55 user12 I should've known after those dates🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ user20 seeing her hug his mom when he won was so cute😭😭 user21 the most unlikely couple🥹🥹 user22 I get it Carlos, I get it😍😍 user23 Vamos Carlos!!👍👍 user24 I want a full timeline how everything went down😩 user25 I'm so happy I got to witness this race😭😭 user26 she was so sweet to all the fans and even took pictures with us!!😭🥹
After the race win celebrations on the podium and the team, after the interviews when I finally got him all to myself; "I'm so proud of you baby" I whispered as I pressed a kiss on his lips. "I'm so happy you got to see me win" Carlos mumbled not letting go. "I can't believe instead of watching you on TV I got to watch you in real life" I said pulling away. "I don't know why you lied to me when we met" Carlos laughed. "Well I couldn't tell you I'm @ carloslover on Instagram and Twitter and I've been in love with you since you debuted" I laughed. "I think I wouldn't have paid much attention since you're so pretty" Carlos smiled running his hands down my sides to rest on my waist. "Well I'm a Carlos lover and I am Carlos's lover. It's a win win" I smiled, "You and I both, princessa, you and I both" Carlos captured my lips in another, yet steamy kiss pulling me closer so my body was touching his, "You are all sticky and smell of champagne", I mumbled against his lips trying to pull away but Carlos pulled me closer, "No" he muttered and continued kissing me. He walked back to sit on the couch pulling me down with him, straddling his lap. He pulled me closer, our bodies touching, his hands roaming mine before they found home on my ass. We pulled away slightly breathless but Carlos than started his assault on my neck, sucking on my sweet spot near my collar bone while pushing me down on his lap. I could feel him grow under me. I pushed him away, "Nope" I said firmly. "No?" he asked cocking his head to the right with his big brown puppy eyes, "We're not doing it here. Let's get back to the hotel, maybe after you smell a little less like alcohol, I'll think about it" I said getting up. "Y/N" he whined holding my hands as I stood in front of him. "Not even for today's race winner" he pouted. "No. Baby, this is your work place. I will do anything and everything you want but out of the paddock" I said. "The car?" Carlos perked up. "Carlos, darling, we'll be on the headline tomorrow reading Carlos Sainz Jr knows how to celebrate his win in Mexico with girlfriend in his black Ferrari" I said. "Fine, Let's go back soon. I can't wait" he humphed before going to change out of his race suit. "I love you" I called out. "También te amo" he called back.
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hazashiovo · 8 months ago
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hii i was wondering if it was possible if you could do a korra x earthbender fem reader who is lin’s daughter?? thank you so much!! 🫶🫶
Ooo ,yes ofc <3
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The best view
"Stop staring." You words cut the thick silence in the room.
"I'm sorry,I just never expected Beifong to have a kid." She crosses her arms, looking you up and down. You scoff anoyed at her rude staring. "So? It doesn't mean I'm a painting so you can stare at me." You roll your eyes."Like mother like daughter." She mumbles,loud enough for you to hear her.
"I could never be like my mother." Her eyes follow you figure as you walk towards her. The girl then continues,"How come you're not in uniform?"her gaze eyes you up and down. "I'm not a police officer." You speak, making eye contact with her. "I just thought that if she had a kid, she would want you to work with her or something." She tilts her head looking at you. "She did,It was me who didn't want to."you slump down on the couch.
"I saw you bend,and I think you're pretty strong." Her body remains standing. "My bending is not the problem." You leave out a small smile at her compliment.
"Then what is it?" Before you could say anything, Lin enters the room. "Chief," your gaze follows Lin's.
"I have a matter to discuss with the two of you." Lin's gaze moves from you to the girl.
"I mean,that's the whole point why you got me here.* The dark haired girl shrugs,sitting down on the couch.
"(Name) ,I want to introduce you to Korra,the avatar." You look at the girl with furrowed brows. "She's...the avatar?" You tilt your head,how could she be the avatar? She looks fine or whatever,but you imagined her to be something... different?
"Of course I'm the avatar! Who else would it be?" She chuckles at your confused expression,Lin continues. "Yes,and you will show her around Republic city,and make sure nothing happens to her." Lin commands, staying strong in her uniform, a fierce look on her face (like usual dare I say).
Your brows remain furrowed, "Why would you trust me with this task?" Your arms now crossed, suspicious of her trust in you.
"The two of you are close to age,and since you're my daughter,I trust you make sure nothing happens to Korra." Her words take you by surprise,you nod, smiling you nod. "Nothing will happen to the Avatar in my presence,I promise." You feel so proud,she finally has something important for you to do.
"I don't need protection,I'm the avatar? remember?" Korra crosses her arms.
"And I'm the Chief in this town ,and if you want to walk freely in my town you will do so with my daughters protection." Lin narrows her eyes at Korra.
"I am more than capable of taking care of myself!" Her defiant nature amuses you.
"if you wish to remain in Republic City you will obey my rules. End of story." Your mother slams her hand on the table, clearly done with the girl's comments.
"Fine! Whatever." Korra ends up leaving the room, allowing you and your mother to be alone.
"This girl..." She sighs,sitting down on the couch facing the one you're on.
"Working with her will be a challenge." You joke, earning another sigh from your mother.
"You're a big girl,I know you're capable or I would have assigned you for her." You smile at her (sort of?) compliment.
"I'll do my best." Earns a nod from Lin.
You warmed up to her rather quickly,and the other way around. Turns out she's a pleasant company to be around.
For the next few weeks you spend time with Korra,even getting to know her better, sharing a few things about yourself.
Besides the fact that she's a little cocky (a little more) Korra is a great person to be around.
"So tell me! how was it being raised by Beifong? Is she always like that? Did she want you to take after her?" You smile at her curiosity, "Sometimes, but as a child she never implied I become a soldier,like her" the memories bringing a nice warmth in your chest.
"My mother would sometimes take me outside of Republic City, we would hike for hours to get to the most breath taking view I could see as a child." Korra watches your expression, she must admit,you're very pretty.She finds herself staring at you quite often,but she can't figure out why you're so captivating.
Once you lock eyes with her she forgets anything she wanted to say before,just staring at your face.
"Republic city is boring,I know a place you would like." You smile,taking her hand in yours, passing by many streets.
She looks at you confused as you tell her to hold on.
The earth beneath your feet started rising up,until you decided it was enough.
You started walking deeper and higher to a place only you knew.
"Where are we going (Name)?" She speaks between chuckles.
"You'll see,just trust me." You look back at her ,winking.
Her face is slightly warm to touch,Korra follows after you,passing by trees and going higher up a hill.
If she wasn't so busy watching your body instead of the place you were leading her too she would have noticed the view already.
"Were here!" Your voice brings her back,gaze moving away from your body ,now focusing on her surroundings.
Hands still entangled you stop , letting go of her hand. Her eyes fall on her now empty hand, slightly disappointed.
"Korra,look." She follows your voice, gaze falling on the breath taking view in front of her.
Your hand takes hers,leading her next to you on the grass.
"It's beautiful,isn't it?" She looks at you, analyzing your face ,reading its expressions like it's an open book for her to learn from.
"It is." Your eyes meet,locked on each other. Your hands entangled on the grass, the looks shared between the two of you speak like no words ever could.
She leans in,one hand now cups your cheek,her skin is so soft..
"Korra I..." You struggle to find the right words,mind clouded by the thought of her and only her. Fortunately there is no need for words,not now.
Her eyes scan your face for any kind of resistance,any kind of hesitance,but there's none in sight.
Her lips crash into yours in a soft ,loving kiss.
Korra's hands are cuping your cheek, while yours are around her waist. Fingers gently rubbing the material on her skin.
The kiss lasts a few seconds,but it feels like time stopped.
You move away from Korra's lips, smiling while looking at her bright blue eyes.
"I just kissed Beifong's daughter." You laugh softly at her words,placing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"The avatar kissed me." You grin,noticing her proud smile.
"And I'd do it again."
.
.
.
Took me a little to search for a plot ,but here it is. Hope you like it ;).
Depending on the attention this fic is getting,maybe I will make a part two.
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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year ago
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Treat | Hobie Brown x f!Reader
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Your innocent image is shattered when Hobie finds your hidden piercing.
Art credit.
Requested by @friedturtlewhispers. Essentially this, with a different piercing.
Mature. Smut. 18+.
The show hasn't been over for two minutes yet when I feel two strong hands on my waist, gripping tight and pulling me backwards. I nearly spill my drink on the already sticky floor of this underground bar as Hobie spins me around, and brings his lips crashing down on to mine.
"Oh!" I let out a muffled gasp of surprise, and feel Hobie's lips turn up into a smile as they still rest against mine. He pulls away, and takes my drink out of my hand. He brings it to his nose, and takes a sniff. "Gin?" He wrinkles his nose, and I open my mouth to defend my choice, but he's already downed it in one gulp.
"Let's get out of here," he says, grabbing my hand and pulling.
"Oh, okay - bye!" I say over my shoulder to the guy I was talking to at the bar - a big fan of the band, who stands with his jaw agape. I find it awkward to mention that I'm sort of, semi, casually but not really casually, dating a band member. It feels like bragging, probably because I'm so proud of it.
We're outside in the cool night air before I know it, and there's a ringing in my ears from the show.
"Did you like it?" Hobie asks as we turn right, heading towards my apartment.
"I always like it," I reply, squeezing his hand. "Why did we leave so fast?"
He leans over, smirking down at me. "I want to be alone with you."
--
As I flop back onto the couch, I hand Hobie the beer he requested. He takes it, and immediately leans forward, setting it on the coffee table. before even taking a drink.
Unable to help myself, I pick it up and place it on the coaster that was only inches away.
Hobie rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "You can't spend your whole life cleaning up after me."
I shrug. "Sure I can."
He bumps his shoulder into mine, and I lean back into him. Even though I enjoy spending the weekends out with Hobie, lingering in the bars after his shows until the wee hours, it feels so much more my speed to be back home before midnight, relaxed on the couch, just the two of us.
"This is nice," I say with a contented sigh. Hobie's feet are up on the coffee table, and my legs are crossed, one of my knees resting in his lap. He runs his fingers over my bare leg, starting on my shin and up over my knee. The lights are off, and the dull light of a horror film is the only thing lighting the room. I don't really like scary movies, but Hobie enjoys them as background noise.
I lay my head on his shoulder as his hand moves further up, brushing against the fabric of my skirt, and pausing for a moment as if to ask for permission.
We've been seeing each other for a while, enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other, but physically, it hasn't gone all that far. It almost has, a few times, but Hobie's always had some emergency to attend to.
I feel a little foolish... but I'd almost like to be able to call him my boyfriend before we go any further. I know we're adults, but the label means something to me, anyway.
When I don't protest, his fingers snake up under my skirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My breathing is coming more rapidly now, my heart pounding, and his fingers are almost at my panties now. I'm stiff as a board, tense, waiting for his next move.
"Before we... can I ask you something?" I say.
"Anything, love," he replies, but doesn't move his hand. He's tracing soft circles on my inner thigh, and it's hard to gather my thoughts. I remove my head from his shoulder so I can look at him.
His eyes are dark, his lips parted just slightly, and when I glance down, I see the bulge in his pants. I feel an ache in my lower stomach, and wetness between my thighs.
"Are you, or like, am I your..." The words are going as fast as they're coming, and my mouth is dry.
"You're my girl. My only girl. I'm yours." His words are assertive, sure, and his gaze is locked steadily on mine.
I grab his shirt, pulling him to me for a desperate kiss, so elated with his words and so beyond ready for him to do absolutely anything he wants to me.
Leaning back to lay on the couch, I pull him so that he's on top of me, he settles between my legs while his tongue explores my mouth.
His hand finds its way up my thigh again, and runs underneath the waistband of my underwear. His thumb dips down and brushes softly over my clit, and I gasp.
So does he.
"What's that?" he asks, and a blush settles over my cheeks. He sits up just a little, so he can look me in the eyes. "Is that a... piercing?"
I purse my lips a little and nod. "Yes."
"Fuck me, Y/N." He brings his mouth back to mine with twice the fervor of before, and pulls my panties to the side as he does, running two warm fingers over my clit, down to my entrance, and back. "I can't believe... you have that pierced. Oh, fuck, I'm so hard," he moans into my mouth, and I arch my back off the couch as he uses his fingers to trace circles around my piercing.
"Oh, Hobie," I moan, grasping his back. He sits up suddenly, removing his hand from me, and I collapse back onto the couch in a huff.
He takes his vest and shirt off, and then pulls my panties and skirt down over my legs. There isn't a moment to breath before his face is between my legs, and he takes my clit into his mouth, sucking and biting gently, then dragging his tongue down to my entrance to gather the wetness that is quickly forming there.
"Hobie!" I gasp, holding his shoulders tightly. He doesn't let up. He brings up two fingers, teasing at my entrance as he takes my clit back into his mouth, and pushes them gently inside me. "Oh, God," I moan, pressing down onto his fingers as they fuck me.
He's making the most delicious noises, humming and grunting and moaning as he works, showing me no mercy. I feel absolutely desperate with need, and every time he thrusts his fingers in, I grind down on them.
"Oh, god, oh, shit," I gasp as he brings me closer and closer to the edge. He rolls the piercing around his mouth with expert precision, working delicately and then biting down, keeping me always guessing, driving me to ecstasy.
He pulls away just for a moment to look up at me. "Cum for me," he demands, and when he brings his lips back to my swollen mound, I explode. I scream his name as I do, unashamedly loud in my orgasm, and he continues his assault, giving me wave after wave of pleasure, until I am absolutely exhausted.
He brings his head up to mine, and grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him.
"What the fuck, Y/N?" he says with a teasing smile, and kisses me firmly. "That's a hell of a surprise."
I grin shyly back at him. "That's the point."
"You're so... innocent. Your ears aren't even pierced! You almost never swear. You go to church, for christ sake!"
I roll my eyes. "Only on holidays with my parents."
"Still," he replies with a laugh. "What a fuckin' treat."
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loulovingho · 1 month ago
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Part 2 of my injured Tommy fic.
Tommy watched the clock with distain in his eyes. Every second that ticked by felt like it was mocking him.
Just another second since he left you. Another second since you drove him away. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He hated that stupid clock.
He also hated that his and Evan's bed was in the living room, and their hallway was covered in plastic sheets for the remodel, and that all their cabinets and countertops had to be lowered, and that he still had to have help when he took a shower or took a shi-
“Knock knock!” Eddie's voice interrupted Tommy's thoughts. Probably a good thing, he figured. He was very close to throwing his stress ball directly at the clock and, hopefully, shattering it to pieces.
“In here,” Tommy said, rolling his eyes afterward. Because of course that's where he was. He was never not in the living room these days.
“I brought new movies and...” his voice drifted as soon as he got a good look at Tommy. “What's wrong?”
Tommy sighed. “Please. It's not like Evan didn't send you.”
“Buck didn't send me. Why would Buck be sending me?”
“Because we fought.”
“Really?” Eddie asked, and if he was faking surprise, he was doing a really good job. “What about?”
“He's...” Tommy huffed. “He's trying to help me all the time and there's some things I wanna do on my own. Too much hovering.”
“S'normal,” Eddie replied. He headed over to the couch to sit.
Tommy turned in the chair to get himself into position to transfer. “Can you pull my arm up a little so I can get on the couch?”
Eddie leaned back, staring at Tommy. “You got it.”
“I don't really ever do transfers by myself, Eddie.”
“Good time to start. Come on,” he patted the couch, “this is way more comfy than the chair.”
“Eddie, I-” he gripped onto the armrests just enough to make himself squirm. “I'm really tired and I'd rather you just help me.”
“Mm. No.”
“No?” Tommy questioned.
Eddie nodded. “Consider it tough love. I know you're not tired, Man. You've got a look on your face that says you're ready for about four or five rounds of Muay Thai. Use up some of that energy to get yourself on the damn couch.”
Tommy wanted to scream. Forget the clock, he wanted to throw the stress ball right at Eddie's head.
He squeezed it harder instead, his nails digging into the ball. “Can you at least not look at me while I do it?” he asked, teeth gritted together.
“What's that matter? I've helped you shower.”
He glared up at Eddie, his cheeks turning red. “You're really pissing me off, Man.”
“I can see that.”
“Can't you leave me the hell alone?!” Tommy yelled. “Go screw up your own life again or something!”
Eddie didn't waver. Face didn't falter for a second. “The great part about us being friends,” he said, leaning toward Tommy ever so slightly, “is that you can't hurt my feelings the same way you can hurt Buck's. You can either stay a grump in that uncomfortable chair, or be a grump on this very comfy couch.”
Tommy huffed and puffed and was fairly sure if humans could breathe fire than there would definitely be some coming out of his nose. He angrily pulled the brakes on his chair, then used all the upper body strength he had to push himself up and onto the couch. It took awhile. A lot longer than he'd like to admit, actually, but eventually he was seated on the couch. He tugged on his sweatpants, straightening out his legs until his feet were flat against the floor. Then he leaned forward and released one of the brakes so he could swivel the chair off to the side.
“Hell yeah!” Eddie cheered, reaching over to smack his hand against Tommy's shoulder.
Tommy would've liked to still be angry with him, but he was too busy gasping for breath. He was also actually a little proud of himself too. “Sorry,” he muttered once he was able to speak again. “I didn't mean what I said. I'm just being an ass today.”
“No problem, Dude. So, why don't you tell me the real reason you fought with Buck?”
“I already did.”
“Please, that was total bull and we both know it. You fought because Buck's trying to help and you don't want it, yet you wanted me to help you? Plus, Buck's been hovering for two months now and you've never said a word even though you can do half this stuff by yourself. Transferring was one of the first things they taught you in the hospital. Real reason.” Eddie snapped his fingers near Tommy's face. “Go.”
“It's stupid.”
“Of course it is. Tell me anyway.”
Tommy ran his hand over his forehead, wiping away the thin layer of sweat that had settled there. “I...” his voice trailed off as he thought about how to say what he'd been thinking. “I feel like he's settling for me now.”
“Buck?” Eddie questioned. “You feel like he's settling?”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay, so dumber than I thought.”
“Eddie.”
“I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Why would you ever think that?”
“Eddie, the guy he fell in love with was a firefighter pilot. Someone who flew through hurricanes and landed helicopters on capsized cruise ships. Not... this,” he said, motioning down at his lower half. “I don't even know what this is anymore.”
“Hm.” Eddie nodded his head, thinking for a moment before responding. “Gotta say, if that's how you feel about Buck, then I'm not sure you know him at all.”
Tommy ran a hand over his eyes, trying to stop them from burning. “That's the stupid part, Eddie, I don't feel that way about Buck. I feel that way about me. I know how irrational it is and I know he still loves me, but there's this voice in the back of my mind that always starts running its mouth.”
Eddie huffed out a laugh. “I've got one of those too. Sounds like my mother.”
“I think mine's my dad. And me a little bit too.”
“What's the voice say?”
“A lot of things. Mostly, it makes me feel useless. I've always had a plan, Eddie, ever since I was a kid. There was school, and football, and knowing that the second I was old enough I'd do whatever I had to do to get out of my dad's house. Then I had the army, and flying, and after that I went right into being a firefighter. I did that for so long before transferring to Harbor and flying again, but I always had a plan. I was always somebody. I was something. Now I...” he sighed. “I don't know who or what I am. I don't know what to do with my life. And Evan didn't fall in love with that guy. He fell in love with cool, confident Tommy. Which makes me feel like he's settling now, because he could be doing anything.”
His eyes burned. He kept wiping at them, trying to catch each tear before they could fall. “He should be doing anything,” he said, lip trembling. “He's young, and smart, and so damn handsome. He should be living his life, Eddie, not working part time so he can be home with me.” He gave up on the tears, sniffling as they started to fall. “He spends every waking moment either working or taking care of me, and it's not fair to him. It's not.”
Eddie waited. Waited until Tommy's breathing returned to normal and the tears calmed before hitting him with a, “You know you're never gonna walk again, right?”
Tommy looked like all the air had been sucked out of the room. His eyes widened comically as he stared at Eddie, shocked. “I- I'm aware. Thanks?”
Eddie shrugged. “I'm just saying, this all happened like two months ago. That's it. Two months, Tommy. You don't have to have everything figured out yet. Hell, you've got a lot more figured out right now than I do at any given moment.”
“Doesn't feel that way. Feels like everything's a mess, and I'm a burden. We're having to use all my savings for the renovations, and Buck's taking care of all the bills while only working part time, and paying Carla to take care of me when he's working. Then he's coming home to do PT with me and cook for me and help me use the damn bathroom.” His voice cracked again at the last admission, but he cleared his throat and continued. “God, Eddie, he was so upset but he still asked if I needed to use the bathroom before he left.”
“So that's what it was all really about then?” Eddie asked. “You were just trying to push him away?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I think so. And I know this part isn't forever. I'll figure out the cooking once the kitchen is done, I'll learn new ways to exercise, we'll have an actual bedroom again, I'll be able to transfer to the toilet and into the shower. It's not that I mind the help, because you're right, I love the fact he takes care of me. I just hate that he has to. I don't want to hold him back. Don't want him to have regrets.”
“Man, your brain really is working overtime,” Eddie said, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “It's wrong, by the way, your brain I mean. Buck's obsessed with you still. Like, obnoxiously so. He's always looking at the clock, waiting to get home to you. He tries out PT exercises on us, researches meals that'll give you enough protein to keep up your upper body strength. Won't shut up about you on calls.” He laughed when he saw a smile playing on Tommy's face. “Seriously, last week we had this woman on a stretcher who happened to have a husband named Tommy, and Buck just lights up. Starts going on and on about how he has a fiancé named Tommy who has taught him all about monster trucks, and shown him all these movies, and is the coolest, and sweetest, and hottest, man he's ever met. No joke, Tommy, the woman asked if we could give her a sedative so she wouldn't have to listen anymore.”
Tommy laughed at that, some of the stress visibly leaving his body. “If you ask Carla, she'd say the same thing,” he admitted. “Evan's all I talk about, all day long. I know it has to drive her nuts.”
“You two love birds are meant for each other, whether your dad in your head likes it or not. And if you really think Buck's gonna leave you because of one stupid fight... you're dumber than I thought.”
“He's right.” The sound of Buck's voice made both Eddie and Tommy turn toward the living room entryway. “I mean, not about the dumb part. But, thinking I'll leave you.”
“I- I didn't hear you get home,” Tommy said nervously. He eyed Buck up and down, like he was expecting him to have physically changed in the last two hours.
“I was quiet, I guess.” He glanced at the wheelchair, then at Tommy on the couch. “You transferred.” It wasn't a question.
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, I did. Took a hot minute, but I did it.”
“Did Eddie harass you into it?”
Tommy smiled softly. “It's a very effective method, apparently.”
“I'll have to stick around next time,” Buck replied, smiling back, “and take notes.”
Eddie's eyes shifted between the two of them, noticing that they couldn't seem to stop staring at each other.
“I think my work here is done,” he said, getting up and giving Tommy a pat on the leg. “See ya, Man.”
Tommy cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Bye, Eddie.”
He squeezed Buck's shoulder as he passed by. “See you tomorrow.”
Buck smiled at him. “See ya.”
They stayed silent until the door shut, leaving the two of them alone.
“I'm so sorry I snapped at you.” Tommy inwardly cursed at the fact he couldn't seem to stop himself from getting emotional anymore.
“I'm sorry I hovered.”
“That's not... Evan, that's not why I really got upset.”
“Yeah, I figured. I've been here for a while, actually, I just... I haven't heard you open up like that since the accident.”
“Can you come here?” Tommy asked, patting his lap. As Buck walked over, Tommy held out his hand. Buck took it as he sat beside him on the couch, gently resting his legs over Tommy's. “I don't want you thinking I'm not thankful for everything you've done. I am endlessly grateful, Evan.”
“I don't want you thinking you're not enough for me.” Tommy looked down as Buck spoke, until Buck hooked two fingers under Tommy's chin and tilted his head up so their eyes met. “My love for you has never been based on your job, or what you're capable of. I love you. I love your personality, and your smile, and how you care about people, and how you always seem to know when I'm not okay, and how you listen. All of it. You still have everything that makes you you, Tommy. Everything I love is still right here,” he said, placing a hand over Tommy's heart.
Tommy reached up and placed his hand over Buck's. “We were supposed to get married today,” he said, his lip trembling.
Buck nodded, tears in his eyes. “I know.”
“Would you... Would you still want to?”
Buck froze. “Are- Are you serious?”
Tommy nodded. “I still want a real wedding, sometime soon. But, I really just wanna be married to you.”
“Eddie probably hasn't gotten too far yet,” Buck said, practically jumping up to pull his phone out of his pocket. “He could come back; be our witness?”
“Good idea. I'll get back in my chair so I'm ready when he gets here.”
“Need any help?” Buck asked, phone to his ear as he waited for Eddie to pick up.
“That's okay,” Tommy answered with a smile. “I got it.”
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mind-intheclouds342 · 9 days ago
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 9 - Next
You banged on the door of the room where that man was locked up, waking him up abruptly.
"Let's talk"
Jimmy: "I thought visiting hours were over."
He complained, turning around to turn his back to the door.
"Don't try to be funny with me, Jimmy. What the hell did we do to deserve so much hate from you?"
Jimmy: "Don't play innocent, you know very well what you did!"
"Honestly, I have no idea! That's why I'm asking you!"
Jimmy: "Of course, because I was always the shadow of your dear husband. You never turned to look at me again after you got with him, you never smiled at me like you did with him, you didn't even speak to me. It was as if I were invisible to you!"
"Oh, of course I was looking at you!"
Jimmy: "Then why didn't you ever tell me anything?!"
He shouted that, getting up from his bed to head towards the glass that separated them, watching your face to see you when you replied.
"BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!"
You screamed with all your lungs, to the point of making your throat hurt.
"You always brought trouble to Curly! He was always so naive, a sucker for approval, of being the good guy in the story, of not letting anyone down! That's why he never abandoned you! I knew better that's why i stopped talking with you! Because you were and are a piece of shit!" 
Jimmy: "Oh, but you talk as if I were the only fucked up one in the story."
"Yes! I admit it! I was also a mess when I met Curly, but I did something, I was able to see beyond that mess I was, he showed me that I could improve, he gave me opportunities that I knew how to take advantage of and become a better person! In someone who could make his mother proud instead of making her cry because she didn't know if he was coming home or not!"
There was a silence when you finished saying that, until you saw him smirk, that reaction you didn't like at all.
Jimmy: "You're right, Curly loves to please, you should know that very well."
"Ugh, for the love of God, I don't know why I try to reason with you, it's impossible."
Jimmy: "But you were the only one who refused to give in to make me happy."
You opened your eyes wide upon hearing that, turning again to the man who still wore that smug smile.
Jimmy: "Just as beautiful and messed up as I am, I thought you would understand me, but then you became a good girl, yet I still hoped you would look at me..."
"Shut up-"
Jimmy: "Oh, and the damn way Curly talked about you, how incredible you are, so kind, hardworking, so beautiful."
"I tell you to shut up-"
Jimmy: "Those lovely moles in the center of your chest that look like a constellation"
"He wouldn't talk about those things with you!"
Jimmy: "I saw it myself"
You felt like you were going to puke at that moment, you didn't want to believe that he had really done something like that to you while you were unconscious, you didn't want your suspicions to be confirmed, you refused to believe it.
"Liar. Anya wouldn't leave me alone, she would lock the nursery door-" 
Jimmy: "Yes, yes, she did that, it was a pain in the ass. Every night when she went to sleep, she locked the nursery with that code that only Curly and she knew... But that place wasn't closed while someone was inside."
"She wouldn't let you get close to me!"
Jimmy: "They were so sweet, Anya staying by your side saying she had to make sure all your signs were okay, and when she left, she would ask Swansea if he could keep an eye on you. But he was so depressed that he didn't dare to stay with you for long, so... I took his place to make sure you were okay."
"In front of Curly..."
You murmured at having to imagine the scene your husband had to witness without being able to do anything about it other than watch.
Jimmy: "That was the funniest thing"
You hugged tightly, feeling a horrible tingling all over your body, as if you were dirty.
Jimmy: "Swansea had no idea about anything, Anya didn't want to talk about it with anyone else. Thanks to her silence, I was able to finally look at that body that you always hide from me, thanks to Swansea's stupidity and feeling sad for his little captain, feeling all guilty and shit."
Swansea: "What did he just say..." 
You turned to see Swansea at the end of the hallway, carrying Jimmy's rations, holding an axe firmly in the other hand; he had managed to hear everything.
"Swansea-"
Swansea: "Open the door, captain"
"Listen - it's not worth it, do you have any idea what they'll do to you if they find out you hurt someone from the crew? Please, I don't want them to lock you up." 
You said immediately, positioning yourself in front of him, trying to get him to see you, but his eyes were glued to the door where he could see Jimmy's face.
Swansea: "How are they going to know? Let's say it was an accident. Open the door!"
You wanted to keep reasoning with him, but you couldn't deny that you also wished he would face consequences for his actions.
You took the axe from his hands, making him look at you annoyed.
"I won't take the risk of you killing him."
Those were your last words before opening the door, Swansea didn't take much more than a few seconds to fully open the door, step inside, and throw himself at Jimmy.
You could hear the sound of the blows, the insults, and the screams.
You stood at the door wide open, axe in hand, watching as the blood spread across the floor with each blow Swansea dealt.
You watched Jimmy and tilted your head, waiting for him to defend himself.
You wouldn't hesitate to cut off his hands if he touched Swansea.
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carlsdarling · 8 months ago
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Heated arguments
Carl and Y/N have an argument, then some make-up sex, and it gets really emotional... More of a plot, and also sex and fluff. Everyone is 18 or over. (This was requested, but the request somehow vanished from my inbox, don't know.)
WARNINGS: smut, nsfw, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex
You were just fed up. Carl's overprotective attitude, the way he constantly tried to control you and forbid you to do things, and you glared at him angrily when he scolded you for going on a supply run with Maggie and Glenn for once and then leaving them to search a pharmacy and getting surrounded by walkers. You'd wanted to search the pharmacy for a few more personal items, including condoms.
"You could have died," Carl told you, his face pale with anger, his jaw tense. "You almost died!"
"No, I wouldn't have died," you contradicted defiantly and crossed your arms in front of your chest.
"Are you kidding me?" Carl's voice pitched. "Maggie told me that there were at least a dozen walkers in the pharmacy when she and Glenn came in, and that you were stuck on top of a cabinet! If Maggie and Glenn hadn't vanquished the walkers, they would have tipped the cabinet over and eaten you alive."
"No, they wouldn't have," you replied against your better judgment. "The walkers would have given up."
Carl stared at you, stunned, his eye narrowed. "Are you really that stupid, Y/N, or are you just faking it?" he insulted you, ruffling his hair. "You know, I may not want to admit that my girlfriend has a birdbrain, but obviously she does," he stated brutally. "No one with a shred of intelligence would put themselves in a predicament like that! And then you get upset that I'm supposedly controlling you? Yes, maybe I do, but the reason is that you're stupid and reckless and can't take care of yourself!" Angrily, he clenched his right fist and punched a locker.
You flinched at his words and his outburst of anger, and you began to seethe inside. "Oh yeah, but of course Carl Grimes The Almighty is perfect! Who puts themselves in danger all the time, on purpose? You do! How many times have I told you not to go into dark stores alone to loot unimportant stuff?"
Only recently you had scolded Carl for going into an abandoned department store just to get an old CD player for you. Beaming like a child, he had presented the item to you and had been as proud as all the times before when he had taken extra dangerous actions just to be able to give you presents - perfume, jewelry, make-up, books, anything he knew you would like. No matter how many times you told him to stop, he wouldn't listen to you.
"At least I can look after myself," Carl replied angrily. "You can't. I forbid you to go on any tours without me!"
You put your hands up indignantly. "You don't have any right to forbid whatsoever, Carl! Fuck you!" you shouted at him before turning around abruptly and running off in the direction of your house.
"Fine!" Carl called after you. "Then do what you want!" Enraged, he marched off in the opposite direction, his hands in his pockets. It was true that he regularly did dangerous things himself - but only to please you and impress you. No, actually that was only half the truth. Carl's missing eye made him feel inferior to the other new lads in Alexandria, and he lived in constant fear that you might leave him for one of them. Carl couldn't bear the thought of losing you, so he desperately tried to impress and spoil you to prove to you that he was the best option for you. Even if it meant risking his life.
You slammed the door behind you in anger and even started cleaning the house in your frustration. Who did Carl think he was?
Not even an hour passed before there was a knock at the door. Standing on the threshold - Carl. You looked at him in silence. "Can I come in?" he asked shyly. Wordlessly, you let him in. "I... can we get along again?" He looked at you pleadingly and his hands were shaking, he was obviously nervous.
"Carl, you called me a birdbrain, I..."
"I didn't mean it that way," he murmured, hugging you and burying his face against your shoulder. "Let me make it up to you?"
Your body responded to Carl as it always did, and you moaned softly as he began to kiss your neck. You were like wax in his hands; you always had been, and you didn't protest as he directed you to the couch in the living room, swept the cushions down and pressed you onto the padding. "Carl, this is inappropriate, we're still in an argument," you whispered, gently trying to push him away.
"I was thinking of some make-up sex," Carl whispered back, and you succumbed to the temptation - even if it didn't solve your problems. Carl unbuttoned your blouse, unhooked your bra and soon had your jeans and panties pulled down too, leaving you naked in front of him. You couldn't wait to see him naked too and tugged impatiently at his belt. Carl stood up to hastily remove his clothes, and before he was about to lie back down next to you, you grabbed his slim hips, grasping his proudly erected dick and giving the tip some kitten licks, then slowly slid his veiny shaft into your mouth and sucked on it.
Carl's knees got wobbly, he inhaled sharply and began to whimper, then he put his hand on your head, tousled your hair and controlled the movements of your mouth. "Oh yes, please," he whispered breathless with arousal. You cupped his balls with one hand and rubbed them while you continued to slowly suck Carl off. Some precum leaked out of his cock and you swallowed it before suddenly withdrawing from him, eliciting a sound of disappointment from Carl. His dick glistened with your saliva as he lay on top of you without further foreplay, gently forcing your legs apart and thrusting into you in one smooth motion. You were more than ready for him and moaned out, your hot, soaking wet walls clenching around his cock. Carl's heart was beating right next to yours as he fucked you with skilled movements. You buried your face in his neck curve, kissing and nibbling his pale skin, while Carl's long hair tickled your face and you inhaled his scent, which intoxicated you as always - the typical, unique Carl scent that made your hormones go crazy.
You lifted your hips. Carl's cock slid in and out with a steady rhythm, and he breathed heavily, again and again he let out those small, adorable moans that turned you on even more. You stroked Carl's back, completely overwhelmed by your feelings for him, it was just you and Carl and your lovemaking, and your whimpering grew louder.
"You cumming?" Carl looked at you, little drops of sweat standing between his eyebrows.
"Carl, oh yes, Carl," you moaned, half senseless with lust. Carl was delighted as always that he was the reason you felt so good, and he would make sure you cum before he did. He withdrew from you almost completely, then slowly penetrated you again, again and again, until you were on the verge of madness. "Oh my God, Carl, you're so good." The orgasm came over you so hard it felt like your head was going to explode , and Carl noticed a new gush of slippery hot moisture welcoming his cock. He quickened his pace, his moans became louder and louder, his thrusts harder and more irregular, then he tensed up, all his muscles tightened, and he had his release right inside your pussy.
Carl stayed on top of you for a while, both of you sticky with sweat and body fluids, and you pressed against him. You two didn't speak until Carl finally pulled his dick out and lay down right beside you. "Are we... good with each other again?" he asked shyly.
You frowned. "The fact remains that you called me stupid, Carl," you said icily.
Carl winced with guilt. "I didn't really mean it. I'm sorry," he whispered glumly, and when you didn't respond, he reached for his jeans, which were lying on the floor next to the sofa, and fished out a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a glittering jaguar. He attempted to hand you the necklace. "Here, I found this when I was scavenging, and I thought..." He seemed anxious.
Anger welled up in you, and you slapped Carl's hand away; the necklace whirled through the air and landed on the ground. "Tell me, don't you get it?" you snapped at him. "I don't want you to keep getting unimportant things for me! You put yourself in unnecessary danger every time! For bullshit like a fucking necklace! And don't tell me you found the necklace by accident!"
Carl blushed and lowered his gaze. "You're right, the jewelry store was full of walkers. It... it's just... well, it's just that..."
You looked at him inquiringly. "It's - what, Carl?" you asked in a softer tone.
Carl struggled with himself, then it all burst out of him. "It's just that there are these new guys in the community, and I can see them staring at you - and at me, with my ruined face. I... what else can I do but go the extra mile to make sure you stay with me? To make you like me? I don't want to lose you, Y/N." Carl's lower lip quivered slightly.
Carl's words touched you and made you sad. He was so insecure about your affection for him that he felt he had to shower you with gifts and attention - even if it meant putting his life on the line. It took you a while before you could answer. Carl didn't look at you, he stared at the ceiling, a single tear trickling from his left eye. It flowed down the side of his cheek and dripped onto the sofa cushion, leaving a dark stain.
"Carl," you said, shocked. "Do you really think I feel so little for you? That I'd leave you for another guy if you didn't make an extra effort to please me all the time? No matter if you risk your life in the process?" You couldn't believe it.
Carl was crying now, and it was the first time you'd ever seen him cry, and it distressed you even more. "I... before those boys came, I was the only one here your age, and... and I was scared that you were only with me, because I am the only option." He sounded bitter. "But now that Ron and Benjamin and Spencer and the other lads are here, well... you have a choice, and why on earth would you pick me?" He sounded completely despondent.
You were completely gobsmacked, and you hugged Carl tightly. "You fucking idiot, you," you said tenderly, brushing his dark hair out of his face and kissing him; his tears tasted salty. "I didn't get together with you because you were the only option, but because I fell in love with you, eye or no eye. And I would never exchange you for another guy. And I don't want you to put yourself at risk to impress me ever again, because I couldn't bear it if something happened to you. Carl, I love you more than anything. I love you for who you are"
Carl looked at you, his eye puffy and red. "Really?" he whispered, smiling at you. It took a load off his mind. You felt him finally let go of his worries and his body relaxed.
You nodded. "Please don't ever do that again," you urged him, pointing to the necklace. "Promise me."
"I promise," he said quietly and stood up for a moment to pick up the necklace from the floor. "But I can still give it to you, can't I?" He grinned mischievously. "It's already here."
You rolled your eyes. "All right," you admitted defeat. Carl put the necklace on you and cuddled up to you again. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered happily, wrapping his arms around you.
--
Tags: @knochentrocken0808 @tessasweet @xxcarlswifexx @taylormarieee
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bluelocksource · 14 days ago
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U-20 Japan National Team Match Just Before the Game: A Day in Daily Life at Blue Lock.
Isagi: "I styled my hair. The little sprout on top of my head looks great today! Just then, Bachira came up and said, "Harvest ♪" while grabbing it tightly. No matter how much I tried to escape, he kept holding on. I resigned myself to it and let him grip it for a while until he got bored and went off somewhere. What a free spirit!"
Gagamaru: "There’s no nature inside Blue Lock. I wanted to see trees and flowers. Anything would be fine. Just something green. While I was looking around, I found Otoya. His bangs are green, so when I stared at him, he said, "Not into guys."
Aryū: "Little by little, the Blue Lock folks are starting to get a taste of 'Osha.' But in truly 'Osha' moments, people shine. I swear here that one day I’ll show that!"
Niko: "I was caught washing my forehead by Aryū-kun. It was embarrassing. But he taught me, 'Embarrassment is an important emotion that makes us human.' I became interested in Aryū-kun. I want to know a little more about this 'Osha' thing."
Chigiri: "I fell asleep while drying my hair. There’s no one here to wake me up. My hair is long, so it takes a while. Maybe I'll cut it next summer."
Bachira: "When I was walking around n*k*d, Karasu scolded me! Otoya joined me in being n*k*d ♪ Isagi... treated me the same as always! It seems he’s gotten tired of making remarks at my n*k*dn*ss. What a strange guy."
Karasu: "I found myself in the bath with Hiori. We didn't really have a conversation, but that was perfectly fine. I think we were both comfortable with it. It was great to see him looking well. I'm glad we had the chance to meet again."
Nagi: "I ate alone. I did the laundry by myself. I’ve become able to train on my own. I'm proud of myself. Changing is fun, but it can also be a hassle and a little lonely. Still, I think it's an important thing."
Otoya: "I contacted some girls I know on my smartphone after a long time. Most of them didn’t respond. It turns out that not keeping in touch regularly really does make girls dislike you. On to the next one! Woohoo ♪"
Yukimiya: "I talked about various things with Nagi-kun. Like the things we like, and how we've managed to get this far. It seems that for Nagi-kun, the existence of Isagi is significant. It's a story that doesn't really concern me, but having a rival like that feels nice somehow."
Rin: "When I woke up in the morning, my left lower eyelash was turned inside out and it hurt my eye. It happens sometimes, right? Bedhead with lower eyelashes. Huh? Is it just me? My brother said he has it... Oh, don't remind me of that guy. What a terrible wake-up!"
Hiori: "I trained with Isagi-kun. I sent in crosses, and Isagi-kun delivered a direct shot. With each one, he practices with intention and communicates well. He’s a smart type. He’s a bit like Karasu, too. I don’t dislike Isagi Yoichi."
Reo: "I ate alone and trained alone. It’s been a while since I did anything by myself. I can live on my own, but I dream of things I can’t do alone. I have to change. It’s not over yet. Someday, I’ll do it once more."
Barou: "I touched up the "X" shave on my temple. One line represents my murderous intent towards others, and the other represents my murderous intent towards myself. What’s that? Don’t look at me, you stinky guy (Nagi). It’s not a mark saying to give me a headshot here!"
Igaguri: "My hair had gotten long, so I asked Shidou to cut it with clippers, and he ended up giving me a heart-shaped bald spot on the back of my head. Love Amida Buddha…"
Ishikari: "I suddenly felt like playing basketball, so I asked Anri-chan for a basketball. I gathered some people randomly, and it turned out Kiyora was surprisingly really good. Basketball is so much fun!"
Kurona: "Good morning, good morning. Hello, hello. Good night, good night. Greetings are important, very important. It’s a given, but it’s precious. Everyone’s everyday life, everyday life."
Kiyora: "For dinner today, should I have croquettes or minced cutlets? My heart is 50% 50%. I feel like both choices are correct, but I also think I’d regret whichever one I choose. Alright. I’ll eat both. ………………………… Damn, I ate too much and my stomach hurts. Should I lie down or go to the bathroom? The borderline starts again."
Zantetsu: "It's better to brush your teeth properly every day, I told everyone. They replied, 'You should study more.' Well, if you get a cavity, don't say I didn't warn you!"
Tokimitsu: "I was saying, 'I lack confidence. I want confidence,' when Karasu-kun teased me, saying, 'It was just lying in the bathroom earlier, right?' Ugh… come on, don’t mess with me for real… Well, I went to check the bathroom anyway… but of course, it wasn’t there! Uwaaa!"
Nanase: "I washed my headband. When I put it in the dryer, it shrank a lot... what should I do? For now, I just wore it as it was that day. My head felt 'juri juri' (itchy)... Oh, I mean it felt 'zuki zuki' (throbbing). There goes my dialect again! Hehe, sorry about that!"
Hiiragi: "I used my hobby of tarot cards to predict my future. The 'Devil' card came up… Well, it's just a fortune-telling, right? Nothing to worry about! Right?"
Raichi: "I got really into a sideburns talk with Ishikari! His sideburns are pretty good, but mine are definitely cooler! In the end, we ended up arguing about it!"
Shidou: "I woke up. My mind feels clear. Yeah, it’s a good start today. In the afternoon, my body feels energized. I can sense my cells buzzing with excitement. At night, my heart feels restless. I’m sure something will happen tomorrow. I want to experience this night, knowing I can sleep with that thought, over and over again."
Ego: "Anri-chan was drooling and sleeping at her desk. She should sleep in her own room. Well, I decided to show a little concern for her. With this, she’ll probably listen to me for a while again. Kindness has its intentions. That’s how humans are."
Anri: "I was given an assignment by Ego-san to come up with ideas to make the existence of the Blue Lock better known to the world. Since that day, I've been stressed and having strange nightmares. Damn it… I want to sleep well! I’ll do my best!"
source: Egoist Bible 2
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starlightazriel · 2 months ago
Text
bee 11
desc: modern bestfriends > lovers (femreader) (tattoo artist az)
warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol addiction/recovery, reader overthinking/insecure/depressed, jealousy, archeron sisters have entered the chat, angst, fluff, co-dependence(and all the trauma that comes with it),
wc: 4.2k
a/n: wow i'm so sorry this took so long as some of you know i been going through some things anyyyway we've come so far since the beginning myyy goodness, as much as I love sober az I already miss the az who was doing a line before a tattoo, but alas after all the drama last time I hope this makes up for it <3 kisses xoxox
other parts on my az masterlist
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eleven
Sixty days.
Sixty days of loneliness.
Sixty days of an empty house.
Sixty days of overthinking.
Sixty days of gut wrenching anxiety.
Sixty days of no contact.
Sixty days of not hearing his voice.
It had been my idea, the whole no contact, and now, it felt like it had been the worst fucking idea in the world. Facing him now seemed impossible. Would he look different? Would he be different?
Fucking idiot. Do you know how much can change in sixty days? Sober Ariel won't even want you.
It had been maybe a week in when the seed of doubt had blossomed in my gut. The regret for the dumb idea that space was the best thing for our relationships, time to figure ourselves out so we could add to each others lives— instead of depending on each other. Him, needing me, me needing to be needed.
It was such a fine line between give and take and I had offered every last piece of myself to him without a hesitation. With him gone, with him healing, getting better... What would he need me for? What was I supposed to do with myself? School was hardly distracting, and finals coming up should have helped but only made it worse.
Rhys and Cass had visited him, a few times, they had also gone on another Vegas trip, without him obviously, apartment hunting. That did nothing to soothe my gut either, that was real. It was happening in mere months they were moving to Vegas. Neither did the way they all stopped talking about him when I was around, did he tell them something? Did he tell them he was going to break it off with me for good when he got home? Or did my friends really think I was that fragile? That I couldn't even handle hearing about him?
'I would let Rhys sue me for breaking contract before I would leave this city without you.' his previous words echoed in my mind, I had been so sure he meant it when he'd said that to me, so sure that I would never be alone again.
And of course I wanted him to get clean, but somehow, everything felt different now. I wasn't so sure of anything anymore. Would he still feel the same way?
I hadn't even looked into transferring schools. He had told me to, before he left... But doing that made everything more real, and what if he changed his mind when he saw me again?
He wouldn't be in a drug clouded haze anymore. He wouldn't need me anymore, not the way that I needed him.
And I wouldn't even get any alone time with him, not immediately. Rhys was throwing a little get together for him, he was so proud, they were all so proud of him.
I hated that I wasnt as proud as everyone else when I should be the most proud, I hated that I was afraid of the new Azriel. There would be nothing for me to fix anymore.
With every waking moment that passed my anxiety and insecurity grew. Getting ready for his 'sober party' seemed surreal to me, it only created more doubts in my mind. I mean, had Azriel, my Az, really agreed to that? Even as a sober version of himself— it seemed doubtful.
-
Sixty days.
Sixty days of detoxing his mind, body, and soul.
Sixty days of boring meals.
Sixty days of therapy multiple times a week.
Sixty days of sharing his darkest side with complete strangers.
Sixty days of uncomfortable beds and scratchy sheets.
Sixty days of living in sweat pants because it was all he had packed.
Sixty days of heart stopping guilt and revelations about himself and his behavior.
Sixty days of torturous inescapable demons that seemed to be at war in his mind.
Sixty days of not hearing her voice.
The moment she had told him she didn't want to talk to him while he was in rehab, he had wanted to stay. Give up the idea entirely and quit on his own accord. He didn't though, he went. And it wasn't only for her. No, it was for him too. And he thought maybe it was valid, maybe they did need space, time away to clear their minds and have a true fresh start. He could do things right this time.
And now, with his head clear, he was happy he had gone. He felt stronger, in his mind and body. It had been a lot, a lot of facing things that had happened in his childhood that he had never dared to face before. Things he didnt have to face when drugs and alcohol had been his safety net for so many years. He realized he didnt need substances to deal with those things, his traumas didnt make him weak or vulnerable, they made him stronger.
He did recognize his problem, and he couldn't say for sure that he would never touch the bottle or snort a line ever again because that was just unrealistic. He was only human and he would do his absolute best to be a good man, for himself.
For Bee too. If she still wanted anything to do with him, the silence between them was the loudest one he'd ever felt, even miles away.
Bee.
His lover. His everything.
There was nothing that could get in the way anymore, he hadn't realized until now how much his addictions had been separating him from her. And of course he had gotten off it before but never without alcohol to help him along. He had never been so fucking deep into his addictions, had never gone that crazy. What he had done was completely unacceptable and now he could only hope for the best when he saw her. A party thrown by Rhys and his girlfriend hadn't been his ideal meeting place... But it had been completely sprung on him. Him being in rehab wasnt a secret, but that didn't mean he wanted to advertise it. Rhys had promised it was a very small get together, just something to show their support. 'No pictures.' Azriel had been sure to clear that up with him. The party was supposed to be a surprise, luckily for Az, Rhys knew him better than that.
-
Rhys and his new girlfriend had out done themselves along with the help of Mor who had told me this morning when she arrived in town that she wouldn't have missed this for the world. 'I mean, Azriel sober? I have to see it for myself and support,' she had said over coffees earlier, I had gotten quiet, I knew I could have talked to her about how I was feeling. But it felt wrong, it was embarrassing to say the least. I didnt think she would understand, either.
Rhys' place was decked out, balloons everywhere, charcuterie and little desserts lined both of the large tables, there was a mocktail station and a coffee station where she had also decorated Rhys' coffee pot, another table had a 'fill your own cone' bud bar that included a big jar full of Azriels favorite cigarettes as well. Her theme was 'Sober & Slaying' and there were banners and balloons to match. My heart had swelled the moment I had entered the apartment and part of me felt a little guilty for not getting here earlier. I hadn't been doing much of anything though, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping right, my thoughts and fears and insecurities had been practically eating me alive. They hadn't even asked me to help with set up, simply to show up on time, I at least had arrived twenty minutes early.
"Oh good! You're here, will you help me with this last mocktail?" Feyre beams after she had pulled me into a quick hug. She was very sweet although a bit reserved at first she had warmed up to me quickly. She was setting up some last minute decorations, I was early, of course, my anxious gut hadn't allowed me to sit at home a moment longer.
Part of me was hoping this new relationship would entice Rhys to stay a little bit longer, but they were already talking about going long distance until Feyre was ready to take the leap and move to Vegas. Seemed awfully soon to even be talking about it to me, but I wasn't one to judge, they did seem madly in love nearly instantly, and Rhys was, different. Nicer even.
"Yeah of course," I flashed her a grin and tasted the mocktail she was working on before I added some more of the homemade blueberry simple syrup she had made. "So good," I hummed in approval once I had tasted it again.
"So like, will this be the first time you and Az speak?" Mor tries to make it sound as casual as possible, my eyes focus intently as I transferred the mocktail to the aesthetically pleasing drink dispensers Feyre had put out.
"Um yeah, I haven't seen him or spoke to him since the night before he left," I shrugged, my eyes not lifting once. It had been quite the emotional night, it felt like a lifetime ago.
"I visited him once, he looks really good," she responded and I couldn't stop the jealous pang that hit my gut. Space. We had decided space was the right thing for us, a reset to our relationship after everything we had been through. My dumb idea, but he had agreed. I only smiled in response, and was glad when Cassian arrived with a cake in hand, his loud greeting drew all the attention away from me. Bless him. I found a corner to sit in, a quiet corner with my phone and one of the mocktails Feyre had made. A few more arrived, Feyres sisters, which I had only met a handful of times. Why were they here? Az didn't know them, did he? The only way that was possible would be if Rhys had brought them for one of his visits— the mocktail felt sour in my stomach and I felt more than relieved when Kat finally arrived and joined me in my corner.
"Hi love, how you holding up?" Kat had been very supportive through this entire rehab thing, and was making my loneliness nearly bearable.
"I'm fine, really, just coping with all of— all of the emotions of all the sudden change I guess," I shrug easily, Kat was the only one I had really felt comfortable to tell my true feelings to. She was the only one I knew that wouldn't judge. She nodded in understanding, making herself comfortable in her seat.
"That's valid, it's a lot to take in girl," She begins and I'm relieved when she can't continue because Cassian is all but shouting a second later.
"He's coming up he texted me a few minutes ago," Cassians voice drowns out the chatter around the room and I feel my insides go to liquid, my throat feeling tight and constricted.
My heart stopped when I finally laid my eyes on him. Impossibly sexier. His face was more full, color in his cheeks, a sparkle in his eye I hadn't seen since we were kids, he stood straighter, making him look impossibly taller, shoulders spread, oozing with a confidence I hadn't seen in a long time. My gut twisted, my heart picking up, a steady hammer against my chest. I held my breath when our eyes met, his face fell as he scanned me from across the room and I wanted nothing more than to drop into the hole in the floor. It wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been hoping for. I knew I looked awful— but shit, we hadn't seen each other in two months.
"Azriel, it's nice to see you again," Elain is the first person in front of him she's loud enough to hear across the room, her sing song voice carrying, and I try to ignore it but my eyes are glued to his, and he has to tear his away from mine.
"So what, Rhys took Feyre and her random sisters to see Az in rehab?" I drop my voice, forcing myself to look away, to tune out their conversation to the best of my abilities. Kat bit her lip, a notable guilty blush creeping across her cheeks.
"I um.. I was there too," she admits, twirling her hair around her finger, I squint slightly. She could have at least told me that. "It was a last minute thing," she explained quickly, my expression probably throwing her off. I was jealous, I couldn't deny that— I had no one to blame but myself. If I'd never been so set on having space away from eachother... My blood heated, she was gorgeous, just the type that Azriel would go for to. "They just happened to be there and we made a group trip of it— and yeah, I didn't think you'd want to know, considering..." she trailed off and I shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah, I don't mind at all," I would have rather jumped off of the balcony than have this conversation, I shouldn't have asked. The FOMO was certainly real and I wondered if that's why they were constantly all whispers when talking about Azriel, to spare me of that feeling.
"Youre not imagining her googly eyes though," she scoffs as she glances back over at them and then to me mocking a gag, I smirked a little bit glancing back at them once more and then to Kat again. She was for sure laying it on thick with the sweet tone and all of the unnecessary blinks. I didnt remember that about the first few times I met her.
"I mean I can't even blame her— he looks..." I trailed off searching for the right word, he looked amazing, delicious, sexier than he'd ever had before. He was practically glowing with whatever newfound confidence he'd gained from facing his many demons.
"I know that's your man but he looks hot," she finishes for me and we giggle together, I ignored the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that maybe he wasnt my man anymore.
"That he does," I sigh, twirling my straw around in my cup, suddenly I regretted not sneaking a few nips into my purse. I wouldn't get drunk at a sober party, I wouldn't, but something to take the edge off would be nice, and a joint didn't seem like the right option.
I effectively avoided Azriel for at least an hour, I hadn't been keeping track of time but it felt like it had been at least that long. I wasnt ready for a conversation, not when one look at him made my heart stop.
My stomach was growling, and I needed a snack. I was carefully piling charcuterie onto my plate when I jumped and nearly dropped the whole thing.
"Youre avoiding me, and youre doing a good job for how small the space is," his voice is the same one I remember, low and gravelly and sexy.
"Im not," I insist, just hoping he hadn't noticed the way I visibly jumped at the sound of his voice.
"I think I know when my girlfriend is avoiding me," he left a heavy emphasis on the word, looking at me expectantly as if he was daring me to challenge his claim on our relationship status. Relief washed over me, a tension that I hadn't been able to ease since the last time I saw him.
"Its just— Its been a lot I don't know, and having this conversation here... Seems like a lot too," I took a step back from the table but turned around to face him, I could feel more than one pair of eyes watching us, it only made me more uncomfortable.
"Are you eating?" its a direct question, soft but firm, his eyes scanning over every inch of me. My stomach flips, my cheeks reddening.
"Yes," I lift the small plate of cheese, crackers, and fruit as if that proved anything.
"Hm," he doesn't seem satisfied with my answer, his eyes not leaving me for a second.
"You look good Az, you look different," I chewed the inside of my lip, hoping my anxiousness didnt bleed into my words.
"Im still me baby im just better," that same confident smirk spreads across his lips, I knew it well but somehow- there was a different spark behind it. Something all those drugs had dimmed. A light I hadn't seen in a while. "For example, Im not gonna nod off on the couch anymore because Ive had a handle to myself for two days straight and Im hours off a two week coke bender," he said it so casually and leave it to Azriel to make a joke out of it. "From now on," his voice drops as if he knew they were all listening, I felt Elain's curious eyes on us and I knew she was trying to catch every word. Sorry, hes mine. "I won't fall asleep without making sure you are fed, fucked, and tucked into bed."
I blush, looking away from his stare, something in my gut eases but the anxiety is still settled there.
"And Im sorry, for each and every time I failed you. Im clear headed now and—" he cuts himself off, and maybe it was the look on my face that stopped him. "Would you feel better if we went outside?" he nods to the balcony, I quickly nod, desperate to be alone with him and not on display like some soap that they were all watching.
"Please, its. little stuffy in here," my words are a little rushed, and they were true, I felt like I could barely breathe anymore. And I was making a complete idiot out of myself when Azriel hadn't seen me in two months. I feel his hand on my back and he guides me out onto Rhys balcony, I don't look back again, I lean up against the balcony, resting my elbow on the railing and sucking in a deep breath of fresh air before popping one of the pieces of cheese into my mouth.
Azriel joins me after he had shut the door behind us, leaning up against the balcony next to me and he lit up a joint he had gotten off of the bud bar.
"Did you tell your psychiatrist you were going to smoke?" I ask casually, trying to change the subject into something else. Anything else but our relationship, I shouldn't be worried, he had already said I was still his girlfriend.
"Yes," he shrugged, taking another drag from it, I could feel his eyes on me as I set my plate down on the nearby table. I had barely touched it.
"And what did they say?" I ask, quirking a brow as I take it from him, it was annoying that I was more at ease now, normal territory, I didnt like the way sober Az could see right through me, I had thought he was able to before, and now?
He shrugged again, watching me. "Why are you trying to avoid talking about us?" he reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear so I can't hide from him, my breath catches. He took the joint back, taking one more long drag before putting it out. I shook my head, I couldn't find the right words. He grabs my wrist gently and turns me around so my back is against the railing, his body so close, the scent of his cologne slamming into my senses. "Why?" he repeats, his eyes meeting mine in the dim light, his voice is soft and careful.
"I— I don't know Az," I breathe out, my heart felt like it would pound out of my chest. "It's just I—" I look away, unable to meet his gaze when I feel the word vomit coming. "Im afraid, Azriel. I am. And I know it's fucked up because I shouldn't be. I feel sick, sick with myself that I have been more worried about whether or not you would still want me when you got back than I have about you and your actual recovery. Ive been worried about you being different and not needing me and I know Im so fucked up for that there's something wrong with me and Im sorry—"
"Hey, hey, stop, breathe for a second," he interrupts me, a small sigh leaving his lips as he places both of his hands on my cheeks, lifting my face to look at him and he gently wipes away my shameful tears with his rough thumbs, the feeling makes my spine tingle. "Don't feel bad for anything that you feel or have felt in these past weeks," he assures me, one of his thumbs still gently rubbing against my cheek, his eyes burning into mine. "I— I created that for you, that whole thinking you need to be needed by me. I created this... Trauma bond, I know that now, I know that I made our relationship toxic. It's not your fault, I hadn't dealt with any of my shit and I basically put it on to you. Im sorry, Im sorry you felt like that at all and I wish..." he sighed softly, one of his hands fell to my waist. "I wish I had the courage to call you, because I wanted to so many times, but I didnt think you'd want to talk to me. You needed space and I had to respect that but seeing you now, seeing you haven't been taking care of yourself like you should have. I should have been there for you," he sighed, clearly frustrated with himself. "I know where I fucked up, I know what kind of damage Ive done, this only proves it," he brushed his finger over the dark circle underneath my eye. "I love you, I love you so much, maybe too much sometimes," he sighs again, I fight the urge to close my eyes and lean into his touch.
"Az I love you too," I breathe out because Im stunned into silence. Everything hes said, his accountability, his words, they felt like they were crashing into me.
"Im not going to leave you like that ever again," he promised, and took a step closer, pressing his body into mine. He felt stronger, more solid. It was almost like he had left a boy and returned a man. "You are going to be my wife some day, you are the fucking definition of ride or die Bee, I swear, for the last two months the more clear my head got I just realized one thing over and fucking over," he wasnt afraid, he had absolutely no hesitations, every single word felt like a promise, and I felt like my heart was palpitating. "I hit the fucking jack pot with you, and I fear the smartest thing that Ive ever done in my life was share my favorite candy with the girl across the street."
My cheeks are burning, tears streaming, but they aren't sad, just emotional. I don't know what else to do, my words are caught in my throat so I kissed him. I pulled him down, my fingers tugging in the hairs at the nap of his neck, our tongues tangling perfectly like they always had. He was mine, still my Az, better, better like he had said. He was right. A soft groan escaped his lips, my stomach flipped at the sound, the thought of how he would have his way with me later after so many days apart. My body melted into his at the thought, our hungry kiss only escalating. Our desperate need for each other matching perfectly, our emotions pouring into the heated kiss. I tilted my head his lips traveling down my jaw and across my neck, settling behind my ear and gently sucking. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, I moaned his name softly, my body feeling like a hot puddle.
"Hmm?" he hummed against my skin, his hand had slipped under my dress where he was rubbing soft circles on the least sensitive part of my thigh, somehow it was still driving me mad.
"We, we should go in now... They are going to be wondering whats taking us so long," I breathed out, I couldn't even see past Azriel into the house, I was sure they could see us though, or at least see Azriel pinning me against the railing.
"They should have known better than to throw me a party when I haven't seen my baby in sixty whole days, and they definitely should have known better than to let you wear this dress," he tugs lightly at the fabric. "They should have known Id need alone time with you," his eyes glimmered with mischief. "I have a lot of making up to do," he added, tracing his scarred finger over my jawline.
"I hated this idea more than you Im sure," I admitted guiltily, biting down on my lip. "But they worked really hard Az," I tried to peek around him to see inside again, he only shifted to block my view.
"Fine, but five more minutes," he smirked, tilting my chin up again.
"Five more minutes," I whispered breathlessly before he crashed his lips onto mine again, and I felt all of my anxiety melt away, as if he was pulling it from me.
And I felt safe.
Home.
Safe.
-
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roxineedstosleep · 9 months ago
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Could you do a snippet for yandere platonic Batfam where reader accidentally gets hurt and is able to hide it for a few days until someone (May be Dick?) finds it and asks / gets upset about it? Love your writing!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hi there!!!
First of all: Thank you sweetie!
It's been a while since I've written, mostly because of the university, I'm about to graduate and I'm crazy because I'm approaching my final exams (I even have to defend my research work to be able to get my bachelor's degree)!
But, I got to thinking a bit about what you have written above… and even more so because I myself am a little bit crashed after my last film shoot for my final year of my degree. And can I just say that being in a bad way and having to hide it is terrible.
So… here goes!
(I'm sorry if I sound a bit comical in this writing, but I think the best way to get over something is to laugh at yourself a bit so you don't think about the pain too much; I hope you enjoy it anyway.)
Disclaimer: I don't know if you've noticed, but English is not my native/mother tongue. Occasionally, when I think too much, I write them in my language and then translate it in a trusted translator. So, if there's a grammatical problem or a strange term, it's the translator's fault.
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Let's face it… having a large family is terribly exhausting.
It's never quiet enough, everyone is in everyone else's business, you can't leave your favorite mermelade in the fridge for less than a day. Someone is always occupying the bathroom or using your favorite shampoo or watching something on TV at too much volume and someone is probably occupying your bed at nap time.
Did I mention about meddling too much in other people's business? Yes? Well… triple it.
Having multiple siblings was new.
Having multiple siblings, a father and a butler/grandfather isn't exactly bread and butter either.
It wouldn't be so bad to belong to a large and numerous one if it was your blood family and you had lived with them all your life. I mean, sometimes blood is too thick and you have no choice but to learn to love them or just be nice to each other.
Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad if they were really your family.
But the Waynes were not your family. Not distant relatives or anything like that.
You were just living your life, as quietly as possible… and poof!
New room, new butler/grandfather, pets beyond belief, 4 new male siblings and a father with serious emotional constipation issues. And, to add more salt to your wound…. all have serious abandonment issues and death-related trauma.
After several escape attempts, sleep strikes, hunger strikes and any other kind of protest that an anarchist could be proud of… you realized that it was simply impossible to get out of this without risking the path of death.
Which, to top it all off, was also unreliable because apparently your older brother Jason had revived as well as another of your siblings. So no, dying was also not a viable option to which one could resort in the worst case scenario.
What to do?
Well, not much. Trying not to die of suffocation of affection or finding a way to have privacy while going to the bathroom just seemed to be the best survival tools you could resort to.
What does that entail?
It implies that Tim was going to give you hours and hours of lectures on his latest discovery of a case, even if you don't understand half the things he's told you or mentioned at all.
Richard and Damian trying to teach you new tricks almost every second, taking you to the Zoo or not leaving you alone to go to the bathroom.
That Jason, oh holy cow he is the only one more relaxed, takes you with him on his motorcycle to eat ice cream and to the public library. Without being able to scape, because it seems that you have a kind of GPS inserted in the bone marrow.
(Sometimes you don't know if it's true or not, but sometimes you also felt pain between your bones, almost during the cold seasons, and you didn't want to burst your poor little head thinking of different viable possibilities knowing them. No scars, no remembering anythins about any surgery).
Have a grandfather who will not hesitate to make you cookies, your favorite foods whenever you want … without leaving you aside at any time.
Plus a terribly quiet father, who if he can will carry you for as long as you spend time together, won't let you near the secret basement and enjoys being in the same room with you.
Do you see any privacy in this?
No, because even at the bathroom door would be the pets trying to get in and see you for themselves while you want to do your business.
The worst of that? Titus always judge you when you close the curtains.
As I mentioned and it was clear: Having a large family implies little privacy… Having a large, obsessive family means NO privacy.
So, knowing that you have over 50 nanochips tracking in all your clothes, two security monitors embedded - God knows how - in your body (monitors that only tell you if you are in designated safe place), 20 high definition surveillance cameras in every room and a Great Dane chasing you like a chick …. How the heck do you fall down the stairs and hit your pelvic bone without anyone noticing?
No kidding, how?
And if you had to blame someone for your fall… you'd totally blame Damian for it.
It's not that the kid pushed you down the stairs, but over time he had tamed himself into various things and relaxed into looking his age. You know!!! He started acting like a normal teenager!
What do Damian's kids do at his age? Well, they leave things lying around and have messing around them when they can, of course they do!
You just wanted some yogurt with orange marmalade. Maybe some oatmeal cookies. Alfred had left it for you in the fridge when he noticed you'd been watching video tutorials on homemade marmalade for hours. Who were you to deny such a gesture of generosity?
I mean, Alfred was the one who allowed you to hide in the attic for hours on end so you could have some time to yourself.
And how did it end? You, slipping down the main stairs of the old Wayne mansion, down a nicely polished wooden staircase, rolling all the way down (which is no small flight of stairs, it should be noted) to the bottom of the first floor.
Now, lying on the ground is not so bad in itself. What is bad is not being able to feel your legs and still not being able to understand how you manage to tidy up your neural wiring so that your legs can still move on their own and go to the kitchen to rescue all the delicacies Alfred left you in time.
And it's a good thing you managed to do it… because within seconds Bart had rushed in to ransack the fridge and the fruit basket.
But that's not the point.
The important thing is that this time you managed, I insist a little on the feat of action, to climb up to your room and not notice how you couldn't really feel your legs.
You ate, you lay down… and to your bad or good luck, you couldn't get up …. and without anyone noticing there was an emergency and everyone went out to sort it out.
Weak limbs, limited movement and you don't want to mention the embarrassing actions you did in order to go to the toilet.
It's not like you hid it either, I mean, there was no one who could even notice because they weren't entirely available to watch you. Nor is it that you would have run away, otherwise they would have been at your side in less than a second.
The detail, as they insist, is that you had probably bruised your back badly and your body was now taxing you extra for your food craving.
I insist, you did not hide anything.
But still, when you're found completely itchy on the floor, ridiculously trying to run away in the direction of the bathroom… that's when everyone really goes crazy.
First, having to carry you and not dying of embarrassment when you notice that Bruce definitely doesn't give a damn about having to carry you to the bathroom and do almost everything for you.
Or having Dick and Jason carry you and fit you into some kind of weird medical scanner they have in the cave.
Or that Tim keeps track of your periods, types of meds you take and, for fuck's sake, knows how the fuck to inject something into your spine.
Or that Damian had the gall to look a little embarrassed when he heard that a pair of boxers lying outside the laundry basket was to blame for all this.
NO matter.
At the end of the day they heal you, pamper you, leave you alone when you need to take a nap and figure out a way to fix it without looking like complete maniacs who built some kind of internal plumbing that sucks up the dirty laundry and throws it straight into the washing machine.
Like the time they didn't look like maniacs by sanding all the edges of the tables and nightstands.
Or the time they bought a whole brand of sanitary towels when they realised that not all women use tampons.
Don't worry, they're looking out for you… even if they look like deranged Arkhan freaks in the process.
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