#like so many of y'all out here thinking that OF COURSE ted had to go back there was no other option

[deanncastiel]

@miss-bridgerton

Hope you dont mind me responding publicy bc i had thoughts!

Anyway, youre entirely right it would have been WEIRD if the show had never resolved the conflict of ted and his relationship to fatherhood and henry, absolutely. I actually went into the finale expecting ted to go back to kansas, ngl, i did think that s3 was setting that up, so it wasnt really a surprise to me.

THAT SAID

The show has done an excellent job in the past of subverting our expectations, and moving forward with a storyline that is both satisfying to the folks who expected something else and also those who wanted the subversion. I mean, take richmond being relegated in the s1 finale. That was not a standard storyline we have come to expect - where the heroes succeed against all odds - but was ESSENTIAL for the growth and development of the characters and their arcs

And thats the kind of ending i expected here. Something that followed through with the themes and ideas of the past 3 seasons, a nuanced and complex story that didnt take the easy way out of anything, and instead forced us to reconcile that two conflicting emotions or events or whatever can exist at the same time without mutual exclusion

That nate could both be a person who was subjected to harrassment and bullying and negligence from his parents and is just trying to heal and become the best he can be AND ALSO a fucking twat who perpetuated the same abuses he faced onto someone weaker

That jamie could both be a child of abuse who can love and hate his father and struggle with how to overcome the shadow his father has casted over him and his football career AND ALSO a fucking himbo who was cruel to the people who loved him and had to take accountability for his actions

And ted could both be thankful to his mother for the love she gave him AND ALSO hate her a little for not giving him the support he needed after his dad died

AND TED COULD BOTH BE A GOOD FATHER AND ALSO NOT SACRIFICE EVERYTHING HE'S BUILT IN RICHMOND SOLELY FOR THE SAKE OF HIS SON

like these are not ideas that are mutually exclusive these are components of a complex and compelling story line and can and do exist at the same time

So all that said, yes my ideal outcome turns out, was for henry and michelle to come to england

Ok so for those of you who might be a smidge confused as to why so many of us may be upset about ted going back to kansas to be with his son bc "it was always going to end up like this" "thats his boy of course he was going to go back" "Ted's entire journey was about how to be a better father and not to do to henry what ted's father did to him" like

Y'all realize that parents are people too, right??? They have their own thoughts and beliefs and friends and things that make them happy and interests (special or otherwise) and hobbies and relationships outside of their children and and and and and

To say that his ENTIRE character arc revolves around his son is reductive and perpetuates terrible ideas about what it means to be a parent and what they are expected to sacrifice for their children

Ted's arc revolved around Ted. And part of that, sure, was being a father. But it was also being a husband, and a friend, and a coach, and an individual person who is trying to move on from their trauma and mistakes and people pleasing needs and set boundaries and accept that they dont always have to be happy and optimistic 100% of the time and that its okay to be upset sometimes and

And if y'all have somehow missed that, then no wonder we have very different views on ted's ending

[hopefulromances]

not necessarily from the prompt list but would u do a drabble based on a SNTV song???

Okay I had a few different ideas for this one. But I think that "Innocent" is so Jamie Tartt season 2 coded.

Also y'all are always free to send any idea you have to my inbox. Or just like... rants and ramblings. I'm always here for a vent sesh!

Jamie sat alone in the boot room, kicking his feet as he stabbed at a protein bowl. His first day back had not gone well. He spent most of the day being beaten down by his teammates. And why shouldn't they? He was a terrible person, who did terrible things. He'd ruined any chance of ever getting back with this team. Ted was right he'd burned too many bridges.

He missed being a teenager. Back when things were so easy. He'd mess up, fall over or get picked on and he'd run home to his mom. She'd scoop him up into her arms and tell him that he's still got a lot of learning to do and the had was going to be okay.

Now his mum called but he didn't answer. Couldn't get himself to. His dad called and he'd feel angry. Angry that he'd let his spite for his father ruin his life. But now he couldn't run home to mum cause somehow he'd managed to burn that bridge too.

Jamie was so in his own head he hardly noticed when you walked up to him.

"Jamie?" You prodded, gently. He looked up at you, not really seeing you. "Sorry I just... need to grab some towels."

He looked behind him and saw a stack of towel sitting on the counter behind him. He shifted over so you could grab them. You got the towels you needed and could go. But something held you back. You, like many others, had qualms with the return of Jamie Tartt. But you, unlike many others, had a soft spot for him.

You'd seen the way his father treated him. Being the one to come into the room to ask them to leave at the end of last season. Mr. Tartt was cruel to his son. Shouting at him, throwing things at him, hitting him. It made a lot of things make sense. Since he'd been back, he was different, you could tell. He was really anxious. It was iminating from every pour in his body. Even if he tried to act enthusastic.

"Jamie... you know..." You struggled to figure out exactly what you were trying to say to him. "I think... I think you're okay. I think that you just need to give them time, yeah?"

He scoffed. Not in any rude way, just unbelieveing. "Yeah... well... they've got no reason to trust me now. Why should they?"

Seeing Jamie sit there, wallowing in his own sadness, made your heart ache in a way you didn't like. It was like he was just a kid who got kicked on the playground.

"Well, I think your future is still bright," you told him, sitting next to him. "I know things are weird right now. With everyone being against you and all, but just wait and see, yeah?"

"How do you know that?'

"I don't," you admitted, shrugging. "But I get it. You were on top of the world. And you made a lot of mistakes. But who you are is not where you've been. And I think you're not that person that you were pretending to be." Jamie looked down at you, surprised at your comment. "There's more game to play, just remember that."

You gave him a smile. Despite himself, Jamie felt himself smiling, too.

"Thanks."

You're cheeks started to burn as he stared at you, a genuine smile on his face. You cleared your throat.

"Yeah, of course. Just uh," you stood, grabbing your towels and backing up towards the door. "Just know I believe in you."

You ran into the door, hitting your head. You cursed, rubbing your head, embarassment flooding your stomach. Then you gave Jamie a nod and left. Jamie couldn't believe that you were supporting him. After everything he did, he had you on his side. And with you on his side, maybe he was still an innocent.

[jamietarttownsmyheart]

please i need colinjamie headcanons or prompts i’ve been deprived of them for too long

i am. so so sorry for how late this is. and how uncoordinated the rest of this will probably end up being, but, just, ima unleash random colinjamie thoughts on u and hope it makes sense lol and that you enjoy them, but since idk how long it'll end up ima put everything under the cut

random hcs

colinjamie have definitely watched the owl house at some point. maybe this is fresh in my head since the final episode just came out a few days ago, but i definitely see colinjamie watching the owl house together. two options:

maybe colin was chilling with his niece (i want colin to have a niece or a nephew so bad, he gives uncle vibes and also i want jamie to interact with the kid at some point too) and she was watching it and he got invested. and then jamie got invested via colin. OR. henry was visiting the stadium on spring break and mentioned the owl house to jamie, who was curious, watched and episode, and then got invested. flash forward to colinjamie fwb era and colin dropping by one day and finding jamie losing his shit over the episode hollow mind. jamie needs to lose his shit with someone and colin is the poor soul who came over for a hook up but ended up having to watch two seasons of a disney cartoon.

that being said, i also think that jamie, if he ever watched avatar the last airbender as a kid, only ever watched until mid season 2. life got more complicated and he was more concerned with playing well than "lazy" things like cartoons. he never got to zuko standing up to his dad. he'll get there someday, it's gonna be great

colinjamie have a unique sense of style that they somehow make work, it drives so many people mad

colin had a crush on lightning mcqueen when he was a kid. (11 years old? idk how old colin is, so im putting him at 28 in s3, making him 11 when cars came out) he thinks about this childhood crush and figures its pretty telling that he's got a speedy car and a cocky but talented boyfriend

jamie is dyslexic, and when he realized audiobooks existed, he was thrilled. still, his favorite way to experience books is to have colin read them out to him.

that being said, his favorite way to enjoy drake is to have colin rapping along

colin takes jamie along to theater performances, musicals, and the ballet.

jamie found the "whose the worm now" moment so hot. he can't let colin find out

random prompt

prompt #1

so this might be because i just re read the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, daisy jones and the six, and carrie soto is back, as well as binging all of the daisy jones and the six show, and have been listening to taylor swift all month, but i am craving something specific?

like, i am so here for an au with actor or pop star jamie (have y'all heard phil dunster's voice?) and richmond player colin hughes. its giving posh spice and david beckham.

just the different flavors of it all. if we have it in modern times, as in, the time ted lasso is set in the show, we can do so much. (we can also have a colin who is not actually a fan of his bf's music. it's not that he hates it, it's just not his style. jamie knows this, and writes songs about colin anyways. colin loves listening to these songs regardless of them not being his style.)

then of course there is the other option--i am so bad at timelines and math, so dont come for me when this is all wrong, but i, on my 7 husband of eh kick, was like omg?? give me hollywood star jamie tartt and football player colin hughes who are "roommates."

prompt #2

im a sucker for vampires and vampire hunters. i think it can go either way for them in terms of whose the vampire and whose the vampire hunters.

prompt #3

a canon divergence au where colinjamie were dating s1. jamie and keeley were dating prior to his loan to richmond and stayed friends after their breakup. he really did love her, but still hadn't learned to be accountable yet. keeley still comes around to the club bc she's jamie's best friend and wants to test the playing field with roy.

[mermaidsirennikita]

what’d you think of the emmy’s?

There were a few things I disagreed with in terms of awards:

--No idea why everyone is still losing their shit over Julia Garner. She is boring, and having silently sat beside my mom on the couch while she watched the latest season of Ozark--the entire sum of her performance in that season was nothing compared to Sarah Snook playing Shiv's reaction to her mom telling her she shouldn't have children. Next.

--I would've had Elle Fanning win Best Actress in a Comedy but I had no realistic expectation of her winning and I'm happy with Jean Smart getting her dues always.

--I had no realistic expectation of Nick Hoult winning either, but Jason Sudeikis winning was... Lmao, Ted Lasso is so mid, y'all. It's not horrible. It's not great. It's just flat, and is it even? Really? A comedy? From the Ted Lasso-heads I know, it seems that s2 was not super FUN. Brett Goldstein does a good job with his material, but he shouldn't have gotten a second Emmy, I'm sorry. Let's stop the steal here.

--Squid Game... is a good show. Do I think it deserved what it won more than Succession? Not really, no. Am I happy that non-English shows (especially Korean) shows are getting recognition? Yes. Do I expect the Emmys to keep it up after patting themselves on the back? No. I think they'll go back to ignoring all of the great productions being made around the world. And here's the thing--I won't pretend to be an expert on Korean cinema or TV, but I have watched a good bit of it in a variety of genres, and like... I do think that with Squid Game, there was a lot of "ooooh, aaaah" from western audiences in a way that made me uncomfortable. Because they missed the point. It's similar to what happened with Parasite. You liked the spectacle and saw it as WILD and EXOTIC, but did you absorb the criticism and message? No, because now there's going to be a Squid Game reality show, and the creator of Squid Game has to act happy about it so that he can keep his ties up with Netflix. NICE. And the reality is that Squid Game is being treated like this phenom that proved, at last, that Korean TV could compete with the *HIGH STANDARDS* of western TV, when there have always been great Korean TV shows, and indeed many that were better than Squid Game. So it's like. I'm happy on some levels but on others I'm very skeptical of the Emmys MEANING IT.

--Jesse Armstrong should've been allowed to make fun of the queen dying as much as he wanted and everyone should've laughed their asses off because it was funny and points were made. Homeboy is British, his taxes have gone to keeping that family in golden toilet seats, he can mock her all he wants and frankly if he said worse I'd applaud.

--Jimmy Kimmel needs to go, and we've known this a long time, but that shit was foul.

--I said Zendaya would win and Zendaya won. I am super happy for her, she's the real thing and deserves the fuck out of it.

--Happy for all the Abbott Elementary wins! I only started watching last night after the Emmys because time management, but my mom is a Big Fan so I'd known of it and of course I knew of Quinta from way back on Buzzfeed. What a success story.

--MATTY MAC WON AND IT WAS SO DESERVED. AT LAST. I love Kieran but Matty Mac has been my "dude who should get a best supporting actor win first" on Succession since season 1, so.

--Very happy for Amanda winning in the most stacked category of the night, but I wish she and Toni Colette could've broken that award in half. They were both super deserving.

--Lmao wild to me that Michael Keaton beat Oscar Isaac (and a couple other guys in that category) but ya know not everyone has good taste.

--White Lotus is meh but Jennifer Coolidge and Murray Barlett are superb talents who killed it on that show so. Happy for that. Less happy for all the Mike White love because the show really is just kinda like... Idk, it had its moments but I don't think it had a point, at least not one it reached effectively.

--I wish the bits would stop.

[werewolf-witchboy]

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

[jennycalendar]

Oh your “Jenny being alive would make Giles WORSE in season 6” sounds Fascinating please expand!! (If you would like)

took me a hot minute but thank you VERY kindly for enabling me <3

so as y'all know, the point i always hammer home on dreadfulcalendarwoman dot tumblr dot com is that giles's character arc starts and ends with jenny. like she is the turning point for him in EVERY way wrt the way he chooses to interact with the world, despite her never being top priority in his life. i actually think it is so deeply interesting that buffy's unwavering love for giles is not enough to pull him out of his determined isolation, simply because she is The Slayer and she's Fated To Die and while she's come to terms on some level with her death, giles doesn't ever completely seem able to come to terms with the concept of losing her. so it's actually not gonna ever be buffy who can spur giles towards growth, partly because of that and partly because of the fact that she cuts him SOOOOO much slack. like that's her dad! she wants him to take care of her! she will forgive SO much of him.

jenny does not do that with giles. jenny draws lines and sticks to them to the best of her abilities and we have seen in canon how badly giles deals with those lines -- like in ted, where she essentially says "you being around me is bad for my recovery right now" and he behaves like she killed his dog or something. but the thing is that he still does register and respect that she's got boundaries, and he does try in his own way (hindered as he is by what some might call an unhealthy obsession with jenny) to adhere to the rules she sets down. there is also a very clear problem here in that jenny is super fucking inconsistent and what she allows giles is completely changeable and arbitrary up until the dark age -- like she is deliberately yanking him around because she wants to see how complete her control over him is, and still doesn't totally believe that it's absolute. and then of course GILES thinks that jenny KNOWS she has absolute control over him and is deliberately USING it, which i think definitely contributes to the resentment and anger of the angelus mess. but that's just canon.

ANYWAY i wanted to talk about that because i think it sets the stage REALLY NICELY for giles and jenny's dynamic in a canon where she lives! jenny represents this sense of normalcy and stability in giles's life -- in a lot of ways, his obsession with her is centered around this idea of her as his future wife and long-term life partner, which is something he never thought he would get to have or even WANT to have with anybody. canonically, in season three, the loss of jenny causes giles to double down real hard in his role as a watcher -- reflected in his suddenly incredibly rigid and starchy wardrobe, but also in the way he's no longer pursuing connections outside the scooby gang at all. losing jenny in canon makes it clear to him that he has nothing but being a watcher, and that he will fail at that as well if he allows himself to love someone the way he loved her (see: acathla). and loving jenny brought giles such profound joy that i don't think he ever wants to really handle the concept of never having that again, so of course he throws himself into watcher stuff instead of confronting that.

but in a canon where jenny lives (even in a canon where they spend the third season continuing to be a fucked up mess, which i think is realistic -- it's gonna take time for them to build something healthy after all the we-are-never-ever-getting-back-togethers of season two), giles no longer has that reason to double down as a watcher! instead he has this enduring and consistent possibility that he is allowed to love somebody without it blowing up in his face, and i think that that would genuinely help him so much. he wouldn't need to adhere so rigidly to Watchery Standards, he wouldn't WANT to do the cruciamentum if it ran the risk of hurting buffy -- he would start letting go of this pessimistic, cynical view of the world and the fact that buffy's doomed to die, and work instead on cultivating a home and a surrogate family with jenny. like at his core giles is a homemaker and he longs for community and family and a sense of belonging, just like the rest of the scoobies! he canonically likes being cast as the patriarch but labels himself as an "uncle" because it still gives him an out. i don't think he'd want to wriggle out of familial attachment if this was a world where he never had to experience losing jenny.

THING IS THOUGH, this is still a world where he loses BUFFY. and while canon giles cultivated this very deliberate distance between himself and buffy in an attempt to prepare for the eventuality of her death, this version of giles is one who has started to genuinely view buffy as a daughter and support her in that way as well. there's no emotional distance that he can fall back on to support himself through his grief. he has lost his daughter. in so many ways that is worlds worse than losing jenny before he ever got the chance to really love her, and i think it would have the potential to wreck him on a level that rivals canon.

so season six giles would be handling his grief in the same way that canon giles did -- he's throwing himself into a role that distances himself from the trauma of losing somebody he loves. this time he is ACTIVELY trying to distance himself from buffy -- not "for her own good," but because he just refuses to handle his grief, and even her coming back wouldn't shake his sudden understanding of the fact that she could die just as horribly and permanently again. and so in THIS version of season six he is very aggressively defining himself as Jenny's Husband and trying to push jenny towards having their own biological children and absolutely ignoring the fact that because of his insistent refusal to acknowledge his loss, his marriage is falling apart. he no longer wants to view himself as a watcher or as connected to buffy in any way, because he never ever wants to lose her like that again. that's his daughter. he cannot love her anymore because losing her destroyed him and he can't go through it a second time.

and jenny is just having A Time because she is a smart cookie! she sees why this is happening and she wants to be able to help giles through it! but she literally can't help giles when he is refusing to admit that there's even a problem. and poor buffy who is still dealing with the trauma of being ripped out of heaven also has to deal with and in some ways cater to giles, whose grief prevents him from being there for her in the way that she was genuinely expecting from him. like i think this is a canon where buffy and giles's relationship could have been at the place for her to tell him the truth, but then she comes back and he is a fucking mess and she does the whole depressed repression thing and tries to take care of him. Which Does Not Go Over Well With Jenny.

i'm not sure how this gets solved. i actually wrote a chapter of this a billion years ago wherein jenny and buffy and spike and dawn start forming this weird and incredibly sad family unit after giles leaves for england, and jenny and buffy kinda mutually struggle with this idea of a mother/daughter relationship after years of weirdness between them. i think that the onus would really be on giles to pull himself out of it, because he would have effectively burned his bridges with his wife HARDCORE by that point -- but it would still be a version of giles who had three more years of emotional stability than in canon. there's always a chance.

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[greymantledlady]

I posted 2,087 times in 2021

69 posts created (3%)

2018 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 29.2 posts.

I added 2,890 tags in 2021

#q - 801 posts

#loki - 510 posts

#lokius - 400 posts

#supernatural - 281 posts

#fanart - 235 posts

#midam - 173 posts

#art - 149 posts

#mobius - 143 posts

#animals - 100 posts

#loki spoilers - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#manifesting manifesting manifesting 🕯️🕯️🕯️ that loki will be the one to tenderly hold mobius's face and bring back his memories

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Every day. every day! i come onto tumblr and block a new person with a bad take on mobius and an uwu loki did nothing wrong poor little meow meow complex. y'all are SO annoyingly putting your shit-tier takes in the lokius tag so for the LAST time:

mobius is essentially a fucking brainwashed cult member when we meet him. brainwashed in the most literal sense.

he has a job to do. the job is interrogate loki for info.

if he doesn't do the job loki gets FUCKING PRUNED

he saves loki

he does the job

he does it as kindly and gently as he possibly can under the circumstances

despite the brainwashing he shows loki warmth and compassion and humanity when literally every single other person in the TVA treats variants as subhuman

loki is a mass-murderer who tried to commit genocide on the jotuns. he ripped out a guy's eyeball and smiled while he did it. he's genuinely a bad and dangerous person at the start of the show. regardless of his sympathetic backstory, he's done a fuck ton of harm and hurt a lot of people.

if mobius doesn't get through to him loki gets pruned

if mobius doesn't get through to him more minutemen die

mobius does what he needs to do to get through to loki by confronting him with the awful stuff he's done. he shows loki the consequences of his own actions. and he does it with compassion and as much gentleness as he can possibly show without making excuses for him

reiterating that mobius is BRAINWASHED at the time

the reverent way he talks about the timekeepers? brainwashed. the utter assurance in his voice as he tells loki about what he believes? brainwashed. 'untangling the infinite branches of the epilogue' that's something he learned by rote. brainwashed.

source: i grew up in a cult

in conclusion if u talk shit about mobius then get blocked

thank you for coming to my ted talk

tes • Posted 2021-08-01 00:56:25 GMT

#4

Okay but his little laugh here is SO telling. Dean's like 'he lets you be?!' and Adam's like. 'Uuuhhhhh. Dude. of course my husband lets me be, wtf else would he do'

like he thinks it's FUNNY! and absurd, the thought that Michael would not let him talk or be. This man has one (1) extremely whipped archangel husband who is SO indulgent and looks after him SO well and Adam is just. happy and glad to have an archangel inside of him who lets him eat exactly how many burgers he wants and also wraps him up safe inside to protect him the instant that a threat arises, he's HAPPY with this arrangement

318 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 00:01:29 GMT

#3

genuinely feel so creeped out when straight ship people come and attack the gay ship people, calling them delusional, laughing at them for being excited and hopeful, saying oh, you lost the ship war and we won... like yeah, no shit? So completely shocking, right, that your straight ship went canon and our gay one didn't. None of us anticipated that. /s

Like yes, gay shippers might be in the clear majority here on tumblr, but don't act like this is in any way a fair fight. It's not a 'ship war', it's more like a fucking resistance movement. You have all the power of heteronormativity on your side, of fucking course your ship went canon and ours didn't.

593 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 23:23:07 GMT

#2

Mobius says 'thanks for the spark' and Loki BLUSHES and LOOKS DOWN SHYLY and SUCKS HIS LIP sjdkfkflkdl what is this I'm going insane send help YEAH YOU BET THEY HAD A SPARK

744 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 10:11:04 GMT

#1

Honestly if Marvel thinks that Loki, canon bisexual and THE daddy issues posterboy, wouldn't be desperately, stupidly attracted to Agent Mobius M Mobius with his undeniably strong DILF energy... well. then they are simply incorrect.

2796 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 15:26:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[supercasey]

Why I don't make many friends over the internet anymore

Alright, so, I know I've vagued about this a lot. I know I've been leaving y'all in the dark, and I'm sorry for that. I thought I could hold this all in until it went away, but she isn't going away, and I don't want to be angry anymore; I just want to move on and get better.

So yeah... This is why I don't try to make friends online anymore. This is why I don't talk online much at all. This is what happened. Take it as you will, all I ask is that you understand that I'm at my limit with this person, and I ask that you please don't harass her once you realize all that went down (if you even figure out who she is. She's sorta... infamous in the RvB fandom, and not in a good way). I just want her to leave me alone, and starting a fight won't solve this mess.

It started with a bad fanfic that I wrote.

...

I will not say the name, but I wrote it for RvB and it was... a vent story. On my alternate account. About... gross shit. I double guessed posting it at all but I was determined to vent about my fucking issues, and this seemed like the best way to do so. And, surprise surprise... It's my most well received RvB fic, and I'm not even taking full credit for it.

To make it simple, it's about age regression. No, it is not sexualized. No, I don't get off on it. Yes... I age-slide. I hate it. It hasn't happened in a bit here, but I still hate it, so I made a fic where the characters are forcibly made to age-slide and it's written out as the psychological horror that it's meant to be. Except... there was always this one Anon, the one consistently rooting for the villains. Even when the heroes were rescued, they begged for more time with the heroes kidnapped and abused. They loved their "pwecious wittle babies UwU" and wanted nothing more but for the torture to continue.

I... humored them. I joked and bantered, but nothing was done. I never undid the rescue, and while the characters were still very much suffering from the results of their kidnapping, they were actively recovering, and I loved it. The small crowd of regulars I had following my story were pleased, and always willing to give me support. I felt validated. I felt good knowing that I was able to expose age-sliding in a way that wasn't grossly sexualized or enjoyed. While the characters were happy at times, it was a naive happiness, and it was made clear that what was happening wasn't safe or okay.

A few months pass without an update. I've grown a bit tired of the story, still plagued by self doubtful fears of my work being perceived as some sexual bastardization of a story. Then, one day, I get a message on Tumblr. I don't recognize the username but... they found me out. They knew it was me writing the story (to be fair my style kinda stands out in the fandom, not to mention that I'm bad at lying) and they wanted to talk about it. I was, of course, fucking terrified. But, to my utter surprise... they liked it. And they wanted to discuss my thoughts on it!

I was estatic! Finally, someone who understood! Someone who I could talk to about this horror story that means so much to me! However, it soon became clear that we interpreted the story... very differently. Where I used it as a means of venting and exposing the trauma of unwillingly regressing at a moment's notice, my newfound "friend" loved the "baby fantasy" and wanted to "adopt" the main characters, especially the boy.

I kinda just... enabled it. No, I encouraged it. I was so desperate for a friend, I actively wrote little things for her where the age-sliding was more consensual/enjoyable, all while wishing for it to go back to being an insight on abuse. But it never was about that; it was about fulfilling her needs and making a baby doll for her to fantasize about.

Before long, we had been chitchatting back and forth for a few months, and eventually over a year. I was happy, or at least, I convinced myself that I was. I struggled to respond regularly so it wasn't that bad, right? I wasn't always around her so I couldn't be that upset, right? Time passes, I idly mention having an online friend to my family and they, the loving family that they are, support me. They're amazed that the loner of the family has finally made an actual online friend.

Suddenly, talk of meeting face to face becomes commonplace. She's in Washington and I'm in Michigan, so I figure it's never gonna happen. I'm wrong. The year is 2018, and February's just hit. Talk of RTX has started, and I, a shy little RvB fan with hardly any money, know I'm not going. But my friend is. She's excited, already telling me about her plans, when she suddenly asks if I'm going.

I of course say no. I mean, come on, I'm not even close to rich enough to pay for a whole trip across the US. But my friend is... insistent. I make if clear that I can't afford it, and out of the blue, she offers to take me. No strings attached, no payment on my part (except of course for merch), just bring... me.

I'm of course floored. RTX? Really? My siblings and I have always wanted to go, ever since we started with AH videos. But here it is, right in front of me. An opportunity to go to the biggest convention I've ever heard of, and she... really wasn't taking no for an answer. I tell her that I'll think about it, that I need time to figure it out. She assures me that it's fine, take all the time I need. I tell my family about the offer, about how I've known her for over a year and trust her (I don't, but I'm too afraid to admit it). Mom's scared, but at the promise of a video call with my friend, she chills out. Dad's supportive, but also a bit worried. My siblings are over the moon, excited for me and raring to someday go as well.

It's obvious, right? Now I have to go. After all, my friend HAS to have someone go with her, and no one else she knows wants to go. After all, my siblings have always wanted to go, and it would be shitty to say no when they'd say yes in a heartbeat. After all, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and really, who wouldn't?

I say yes. I save all the money I can, my dad video chats her, and then... I'm off. I fly to Texas (I insisted on buying my own plane ticket). Up to that point I had never left my family before, not for over forty-eight hours, and yet here I was, leaving for over a week. My therapist, my parents, and my siblings were all cheering for me to go, to get out of my comfort zone and do the thing I never should've been able to do.

I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was scared I wouldn't come home alive.

I land in Austin, Texas the day before RTX begins. I meet her in the airport. I'd already seen her face before, so I wasn't exactly surprised, but I felt safer seeing she was a bit heavier. I could outrun her, if need be. I could get away, if she tried to take me. Unless I was in headspace. Unless I was a little fucking baby. Unless I was sliding and woke up on a one way trip to Washington-

I shook my head. No, I thought. No, I'll be okay. Stop being paranoid, Ted, it's all in your fucking head. Again. Paranoid motherfucker.

We got to our hotel room, and after a long day of walking around and exploring Austin, we called it an early night, eager for tomorrow's adventures.

It was fun, at least at first. She got me a platinum badge, so we got a garanteed spot everywhere we went. There was a cool-ass rec room for platinum badge wearers where we could chill in-between events. I stuck close to her, as she's been to RTX a thousand times over, and I felt like it was going to be okay. That night, I streamed all of Nomad of Nowhere, and intended on going to the panel the next day. Unfortunately, things took a... bad turn.

You see, my friend had enemies. People she believes are "heartless abusers who are evil and cannot be trusted", especially not near me. Well, I'm a dumbass, and I can't keep track of everyone in her fucking burn book (too many names to count). Cue a mutual from Tumblr contacting me, wishing to finally meet me in person (I made a post about being at RTX and they saw it). I, of course, agreed.

Later, I nonchalantly mention that I'm going to meet up with a mutual at the RvB panel. She asks who it is. Still unaware of the shift in my friend's mood, I casually say the username. She goes white.

"I'm sorry, did you say [INSERT NAME]?"

"Uh... Yeah? Is that... bad?"

Holy. Fucking. Shit. She loses it, sobbing like I shot her dog. Empathetic little bastard that I am, I also begin to cry, begging to know what's wrong. Cue a lot of "How could you!?"s Followed by me desperately apologizing, still completely in the dark.

Apparently, my mutual? Her worst enemy. Number one. They who must not be named. And me, a dumbass with PTSD induced memory issues, did not remember the one time she mentioned them. So now I'm fucked, in-between a sobbing friend and a promise to meet a mutual. I've gotta fix this, and fast. I was scared, and in a panic, I promised her that, no, I'm not meeting to "be their friend". I'm just... seeing what they look like! So I can protect my REAL friend!

This all felt very dramatic, and honestly a tad juvenile. Here we were, me just shy of twenty, and her over twenty-one. I felt like I was in second grade, promising not to be friends with anyone else on the playground. Hell, I was still in the dark as to what this person had fucking DONE.

Later, we meet. My mutual is, unsurprisingly, incredibly nice and sweet. We compliment each other's writing in the back of the room after the panel, all while I know my friend is watching from afar, glaring at us. I make it quick, too scared to get in trouble, and then it's over. I felt like such an asshole, blowing my mutual off, but I was afraid of the lion a few feet away, ready to pounce and maim me.

Afterwards, I was grilled about our talk. What'd we talk about? What did they say? Was that laughing she heard? Were we laughing at her? *Gasp* Am I turning on her!? Oh, she knew it, she knew it! I'm an ABUSER! Another monster!

This, of course, gets me crying. I'm empathetic as all hell and as a result I'm unfortunately prone to taking on other's emotions. She knows this. We get out of there, but the tension is high. She has a panel only she's interested in, so I stay alone in the hotel room.

Again, I made the most of it. I binged all of Nomad of Nowhere for the first time, and it was enough to calm me down. Delighted, I discovered that the panel for NoN would be the next day, around noon. When my friend returned, I was quick to fill her in, begging if we could go. She smiled, and promised we would. I fell asleep quickly that night, momentarily forgetting the drama for a bit.

The next morning, my friend's dead quiet. I ask if she's alright, and I'm repeatedly assured that she's fine. We reach the convention center around 8AM, and agree to meet up at 11 so we can catch the NoN panel together. I run off to wander and explore, and my friend goes off on her own for awhile.

For two hours, I'm chill. Everything's super. I talk to cosplayers and I listen to my music, and at around 10AM... I get a worrying text from my friend. I'm not going to post screenshots (because they're out of context/confusing/taking screenshots for a call out makes me feel shitty) but it started as her repeatedly saying how her enemy was "ruining the con for her" and how she was crying. I immediately start looking for her, but I have no idea where she is. Just as I'm getting ready to check the hotel, she sends me this:

"I'm writing down a statement!" ((Reporting my mutual))

I panic. I'm fuckin' bolting through the con, looking for the help desk. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I'm scared I'm gonna pass out. Thankfully, I find a guardian. She leads me to the help desk and there my friend is, crying her eyes out while filling out a form to report her enemy for... existing. And being "mean" to her on Tumblr. Yeah.

I was still kinda having a panic attack when this occurred, so it's kinda blurry at bits. I remember sitting on the floor next to her (there weren't a lot of chairs and I didn't want to be rude and ask for one) and rubbing her back. I gave her my extra Arizona green tea because it was still cold and had honey in it.

The guardians praised me, saying I was a great friend. I felt like the scum of the earth.

Awhile passed. She filled out her form, and after the guardians checked over her "screenshot evidence", they told her there was nothing they could- or should- do. They chilled her out and told her it was HER con, and to not let some bully get in the way of it. Tearfully, I apologized over and over again. They just smiled and assured me that it was fine. It wasn't.

We almost missed the NoN panel. Almost. I wonder, sometimes, if that was intentional.

I should mention now, while I have the chance, that I was keeping contact with my older brother through all of this. When I was sitting on the floor panicking, I texted my brother for advice. He offered to talk to my friend about this (I knew exactly how that would go, considering how my friend was), and I just... cried. Cried and begged him not to make my friend mad. He didn't, but I could tell he was willing (and wanting) to tell her off.

The rest of the convention went... bumpy. There were a few more meltdowns, but overall, I survived. We went to the airport early (because I was afraid) because there was nothing to do, and after she left to wait for her flight... I felt safe again. I breathed in. I breathed out. If I cried, all the more reason to leave early.

Back home, life returned to normal. My older brother was worried about me, but I blew him off in favor of trying to be like him and have a successful online friendship. I was not backing down. People are sensitive sometimes, right? It doesn't matter that her reasons for hating my mutual are inaccurate and fake. I'm her friend. It doesn't matter that she scares me. She took me to RTX. It doesn't matter that I'd rather die than keep talking to her when all she does is make me afraid. I owe her. She's been nothing but kind. I'm just a selfish, greedy little bastard that needs to be grateful and stop questioning this.

It gets worse. Now she wants to know everything about me. She wants to hear every detail of my trauma, every moment of fear or weakness. I tell her I'm scared, and not ready.

"Just a little, sweetie. Just tell me a bit. How am I supposed to be your friend if I don't know what's damaged you? How am I supposed to have you if you keep running to your big brother?"

So... I told her everything. I tried to keep it small, but lord knows I'm an oversharing mess. The minute I start, I can't stop. She knows that. A few hours and it's all typed out; my heart, my soul, my damaged bastard of a body. She says she loves me. She says she'll take care of me forever. I tell her I need a break, and for over two weeks I'm mentally fucked, drifting in and out of headspace, struggling to coexist with my dug up trauma. I'm drowning. I'm scared.

While all of this occurred, my friend took it too far. When discussions of next year's RTX came up (always from her. I'm never going back there, not with her, maybe never again), she balked at the thought of me bringing my siblings (with them paying for themselves of course).

Mostly, she feared my brother. She caught wind of his suspicions, and immediately began to try and convince me that my brother was Bad, and he was gonna Hurt Her. Didn't I promise to protect her? Didn't I promise to keep her safe? Now's the time, Ted, chop chop! Your best friend needs you!

Except... she was a dumbass to think I'd ever turn on my brother. One night, after all of this; after telling her everything about me, after sharing my deepest traumas, after refusing to turn against my brother... She went off. She began mass texting me, accusing me of abusing her, of being a monster. How could I? How could I be so mean and terrible? That must make me an abuser, and all abusers are the same! Evil!

I was... shocked. And hurt. And crying. I broke down, and finally- fucking finally- I told my brother everything. About the emotional abuse, about the pressure, about the guilt... I must've talked for two hours straight, just flipping out. By the end, I was ready to do what I needed to do, and with my brother's support... I cut ties. I told her I was done.

Three days later (she always texted back right away, so I knew she was giving me time to wonder what she'd do) she responded with a "I think we need a break from each other :/ we're both pretty terrible, huh? :/// Mostly you but whatever bye ://///"

Since then, I've been trying to get better. She still sometimes does things in order to remind me that she's around and stalking my Tumblr (sent a few messages before she abruptly deleted the blog she used to talk to me (still has her main), passive aggressively messaged me for a spell, finally made me lose my cool by harassing my sister, etc) but I'm trying to ignore it.

I know this is a lot... but they're hard lessons to learn, and I'd much rather you all learn them through my stupid actions before you get hurt or cornered: Not everyone online is your friend. Just because they say they love you doesn't mean they love YOU. Trust your fucking gut before you drag your ass onto a plane because someone told you to. And most importantly of all... Not everyone you're told to hate is bad, because guess what? Everytime I've been down, been questioning shit, or just vented, do you know who's almost always responded? The very mutual I was told was evil. And you know what else? I found out every fuckin' thing my ex said about them was a straight up lie; every screenshot was fake/out of context, and every "abusive" word was from my ex, not my mutual.

So yeah... I know better now, Natalie. I hope that if you see this, you actually try and get help. You need to realize that you don't own people, and that you can't force everyone who doesn't adore you to be an antagonist in your story... all you're doing is hurting yourself. I never lied when I said I loved you; I still sorta do, even after what you've done to me. I fucking love you, Natalie, and it's because I love you that I'm getting away from you. Please oh please get yourself actual help, before you make things any worse for yourself.

Sincerely, Ted.

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

Imma state this here and idc if I get hate or whatever. I've got less than 50 followers so I don't give a shit if I offend anyone.

This shit has gone on too long and of course I see it so often in the tcc especially with people who like Dylann roof. I even see it in my tiny little Democrat town that used to be pretty conservative back in the day.

I recognize I have been granted privilege as a white person, even if I'm mentally ill. Even if I've had abusive relationships, even if I've been raped twice. Even if I've had plenty of traumatic events. The fact I have insurance, in my parents name, grants me access to healthcare to eventually heal from said things.

I quit my job, and I got a job super fast after.. I have parents who are still together and overall I still have a tiny sense of security in the world, no matter how much paranoia or anxiety I feel. And that's how life is for most white people.

So if ur gonna whine that people @ you for having privilege that you don't even fully deserve anyway cuz things are handed to you, then you don't fucking get to say that blacks aren't oppressed. (Aka truecrime-af) Because you only want it to stay the way it is. So YOU don't have to go through what POC go through. That's what I see when whites don't acknowledge anything privilege related. They want to stay in charge and never have to experience others shit. And this disregards magical practices and all that jazz, it's more so the ones who ignore any sort of security in the world.

I dont understand how some of you are so afraid of admitting you have privilege. Its a great thing y'all have. Is it because you assume you are just gonna give it up somehow? Probably. It's probably because you don't see the burdens most POC go through everyday. You don't want to even think about what the go through. So you push it under a rug and leave it there. You don't want to change, even if you say you aren't racist. There's so much more that goes into it then just saying a racial slur. And until you have to walk around wondering what that white person thinks of you at work, until you walk by a Nazi in public and have to stand strong so you arent beaten or brutalized, until you understand that a Nazi isn't just "someone who has different beliefs." That it's someone like Dylann roof, it's someone that marches in the streets of Charleston screaming that Jews aren't gonna take their place...until you acknowledge that you are TERRIFIED to even admit you have privilege over others, than you are weak. You don't want real change. You just want to stay in ur bubble, never acknowledging anyone else's fears. And I get that it's hard, but you could be a voice for so many poc who aren't given one. And yet, instead, you choose to live with your privilege hand in hand, never once demonstrating that you possibly have it. You think people who march with confederate flags are simply protesting, but say that the young black football players kneeling are disrespecting. That's what privilege is. You get to walk around with your opinions and beliefs, you get to say that such ppl are disrespecting, yet disregard any racism that those ppl could be protesting. Lemme make one thing clear. They aren't protesting ur flag. They are demonstrating their right to protest something in America that is what we were built upon. Racism. That's what they protest. And if you think they should have done it any other way, well then I guess Rosa parks shouldn't have stayed in her seat. I guess MLK should have marched down a different street.

"Football players are here to entertain us, so are celebs." You say

Yet, they r ppl too, and using their platform to get something out. And you are completely fine with it if its Ted Nugent stating he's a Trump supporter and a huge gun advocater but if Meryl Streep states that our president is in fact racism, sexist and a bully, you all freak the fuck out and call us snowflakes.

Just grow the fuck up ppl. Do ur research on both sides, get out of your bubble, and most certainly don't think ur opinion is the only one out there to be acknowledged.

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

"In the eyes abides the heart"

Pll 7x15 thoughts: *sorry it’s kind of a lot lol*

- my poor baby Emily I feel violated for you ugh I just wanted emison to happen im sorry this was the only way

- ew wtf that video message AD sent aria was fucking creepy!! Was the body supposed to be hers too?? Cause for some reason it was sending me major Melissa vibes, maybe all the spoilers of her being AD is true

- Hanna just face it Lucas is a creep n he been that way since day one

- ugh Spencer I get it Marco has a nice body but you bought to get yourself caught up like always you could already tell Marco was trying to catch her in a lie

- Marco really could be the smartest detective ever in rosewood *honorable mention: detective tanner*

- oh yeah of course Ezra you need to leave and run errands and go back to New York for Nicole stuff. SURE JAN

- this video chat is fucking ME UPP ITS SO UGLY. But I get the outfit is obvi supposed to be aria too but idk the dialogue AD is saying just SCREAMS MELISSA. I could still hop on board with a spencer twin though.

- AD mad af about the liars talking to Ted oooooo I’m excited for once

- ugh paily. Mood killed.

- idk why but something about Ali is just throwing me off she knows more than she’s letting on as always. I can feel it lmao.

- okay archers not the father we know that cool

- if Mary drake really did just chill in Spencer’s bed and drink a glass of wine JUST to leave a note in a bottle in the middle of the door way she just as creep as AD like seriously who does that??? Just leave the damn note. Pll so extra.

- “Lucas wouldn’t hurt us” SURE JAN

- that superhero looks like Hanna… OMG ITS WRITTEN BY LUCAS AND CHARLES

- “2, 3, maybe 4.” YEP MARCO GONNA BE THE ONE TO TAKE THESE LIARS DOWN

- damn pll just be getting creepier and creepier. Do y'all think the comic book was planted there or the girls really just stumbled upon it??

- the boy becomes Arcturus?? Does that mean that there really is more to the “hermie” name or is this just a way of saying Lucas gets to sometimes act like A too?

- there’s also 2 boys and a girl tied up and Lucas in front of levers like in the dollhouse I guess that means he was in there too? OR charlotte made the dollhouse based on the comic they made when they were younger?

- damn AD a real bitch I just can’t see it being Lucas.

- aria you’re weak af for going against your friends I’d fight you so fast if I was one of the other girls when I found out the truth.

- ugh I feel so sad every time I see Emily on the screen this whole storyline just hurts my heart it’s such a big decision and topic

- OMG EMILY SAYING SHE WANTS TO HAVE THE BABY IM CRYING

- spencer and aria are seriously pissing me off with their rouge bullshit

- any scene with Mona is a delight im glad Hanna finally brought her into the game even though I’m sure she already knew about it

- Paige just urks me everything about her

- “I thought it ran on bitchyness” YAS Hanna with the one liners

- MONA FLINCHING AND SMIRKING AT THE GAME UGH IM IN LOVE WITH HER ADMIRATION FOR IT 😂 she really was the best A

- “you, me, & ali” GIRLLLL U WILD but if this really is the end of paily this is a good way to end it. Good job for once Marlene the scene was executed nice!

- YAS aria accuse his sketchy ass finally!!! Im sick of him acting like you ain't been through shit WE ALL KNOW YOU BEEN THROUGH IT GIRL FUCK HIM! But, “I’ve spent my entire life trying to fix things” what does that mean aria??????

- PAIGE WTF YOU’RE A CREEP I KNEW MARLENE COULDNT LEAVE IT ALONE WTF MAN

- Marco piecing it together oooooo I like him

- SPENCER WTF YOU DUMB HOE YOU WROTE YOUR NAME ON THE CHECK I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT OMG YOUR ASS IS GRASS

- I am living for this Paige and Alison scene wtf Marlene I’m sorry I doubted you

- oooo is Mona really scared to get addicted to the game again or is she really just scared for the game to see her playing and then putting a target back on her?

- Ezra totally knew who wren was you could tell that’s why he tried to avoid making eye contact at first

- BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT WERE HIM AND SPENCER FIGHTING ABOUT BEFORE HE WALKED UP???? Nvm she says it was about him helping her sneak charlotte into radley? Do we believe this? Spencer twin theory is finally coming to light. Wow don't know how I feel about this I'm happy but conflicted.

- ugh I’m crying again I love emison so much I wish their love had more time to develop & Marlene didn't totally ruin every chance she had with making their ship something more than just problematic.

- Ezra you’re such a damn liar, when did this become so easy for you. You know the only reason he’s staying in town is because he knows Wrens here now & he don’t want more of his secrets popping up to aria.

- damn Mary thinks Spencer’s against her ha that sucks but I really don't care this story line is boring.

- idk I’m still getting Melissa vibes lmao I can’t help it Ive been reading too many Melissa is A theories

OKAY Overall I really enjoyed the episode I think things are finally picking up in the story but they could give us a little more we only got 5 episodes left for fucks sake. Anyways I give it a 6/10

[houstonreggaefestival-blog]

H.R.F. Exclusive interview with Ted Bowne of Passafire

1. First things first, what can you tell us about the new album?

TB:The new album is finished!  We have completed the recording/mixing/mastering part.  Now we are finishing up the art work and copy stuff to get it ready for manufacture.  We recorded a lot of material in 10 days!  Out of those songs we chose 12 for the album.  The process was a lot more live and natural than past approaches as we set up "in the round" and tracked as much as we could live before going into overdub mode.  I think it turned out well because of this approach.

2. Are there any plans to drop a single in the near future?

TB: We have talked about a single.  It's all up to the label (Easy Star) now and how they want to roll out the release.  I think there will most likely be a single released with the pre-order package somehow.  

3. Every Passafire album has always had its own unique sound, how would you describe the overall sound of the new album?

TB: The new album is an updated culmination of our experiences in music both individually and as a group.  The overall theme is a message of hope for continual growth as artists and as people in general.  As always we touch upon both the highs and lows of the human experience in as relatable a way as we can to reach a broad spectrum of music lovers.  Musically,  we are exploring all of the avenues we've previously gone down while maintaining a good amount of reggae elements that keep it as true to the genre as it can be.  We have a huge love for reggae, but can't deny the power of all types of music and love to allow those things to be absorbed into our sound as well.

4. How did y’all come up with the name Passafire?

TB: In 1973, Bob Marley &a The Wailers released the iconic album "Catch a Fire" which was released by Island Records and quickly spread worldwide bringing reggae from Jamaica to the far reaches of the globe.  30 years later, myself and the other original members of Passafire decided that we had caught that fire and it was time to "pass it on" as they say in one of the songs on that record.  Playing music in a live setting is a cycle of energy being passed back and forth from band to crowd and back.  We feel that the meaning of the name reflects our desire to share that energy with everyone who hears our music.  

5. If you could collaborate with any current reggae artist who would it be?

TB: There are a few on my list personally.  We are all big fans of John Brown's Body and would love to have Elliot Martin sing on a track some day.  I am currently a big fan of Chronixx and would be SO stoked to collaborate with him in any way.  We got to meet him when we opened for him at a festival in Vienna, Austria this past summer.  He's a very nice guy and super talented live performer.

6. Y’all do some amazing covers during y'all live sets, whats your favorite song to cover and why?

TB: We covered "Give It Away" by RHCP on our fall tour 2 years ago which was a dream come true.  They have been one of my favorite bands since I was a kid.  That song was fun to learn and difficult to play and sing at the same time so it was a challenge that I embraced every night.  I think the best performance of it was in LA (appropriately).

7. What's your favorite memory you've made while touring with the band?

TB: Oh... so many it's hard to choose just one.  Any time I've had the chance to perform in front of thousands of people and many of them are singing along to our music is a moment that makes all the struggle worth it. Meeting people who have our logo or lyrics tattooed on their bodies is also very surreal.  

8. A lot of artist in the genre look up to y’all and what y’all do, what advice would you give an upcoming reggae artist based off your own experiences?

TB: Tour hard!  Just go for it and don't look back.  We were given a chance to do a national tour only after 4-5 years of relentless touring up and down the east coast.  Humble yourself and be prepared to face uncomfortable situations in the name of making a name for yourself as an artist.  Sacrifices are made every day.  Be open to uncertainty and make music that people can enjoy.  That's my advice.

9. A lot of y'alls music has been recorded at Sonic Ranch studios here in Texas including some of the new album, what brought y'all out to Texas to record and how has recording here influenced your music?

TB: We actually recorded the entire new record at Sonic Ranch.  It was our 5th time recording out there.  We have a great relationship with the ranch and love to go there to be creative.  It's the world's largest residential recording studio which means you can stay there at the ranch and record on your own schedule.  Creativity doesn't always hit at the same time every day.  We love the flexibility we are given out there and the ability to use a plethora of amazing gear. The hospitality is top notch and the food is authentic Mexican cuisine that will fuel your creative energies.  The staff has a strong grasp on the equipment and can make things sound exactly how you want them to quickly and efficiently.  

10. What is your opinion on the current state of Reggae music? Do you think the culture is negatively affected by the stereotypes associated with Reggae music?

TB: Every now and then I meet someone who says "reggae is too repetitive" or something like "all they sing about is weed."  These opinions are usually held by people who have only heard a few reggae songs and have decided to generalize the entire culture.  I have listened to reggae from all over the world.  It is a genre like Jazz, Blues, or Rock that has been adopted by different cultures everywhere and transcends race or religion.  I believe as we start to educate ourselves on the benefits of cannabis and open up the world to opportunities to explore it as a path to wellness and reason, we can expect to see less of a negative connotation associated with Reggae.  People are starting to recognize it as something that is not just background music for your island vacation and more of a way to spread the message of love and positivity in these troubled times we are facing today.  I have faith that the genre will grow more and more in the coming years.

11. Do you think that those stereotypes make it more difficult for bands trying to expand the genre to tour/find an audience?

TB: I think those "stereotypes" are actually what is drawing people to the genre in the first place.  People who are laid back and enjoy to be around other laid back people flock to reggae shows.  We see our fans meeting one another and traveling to see us in remote places far from their homes.  They came together because they like those things that are associated with Reggae and the feeling they get when they are gathered together to enjoy a show.  There will always be people who aren't into it... and so it's not for them.  To each his own.  Live and let live.

12. Did y'all experience any difficulties trying to get traction when y'all first started in the reggae scene?

TB: Starting out in Georgia?  Absolutely!  We quickly found that Florida was a much better market for our style of music and luckily it was close by.  Not to say that we don't do well in GA, but we had to branch out to the places where the scene is blossoming to gain traction.  Colorado, California, and Texas have been great places for our style of music and we try to frequent those spots as much as we can.  Now we are trying to gain traction in Europe and it is very similar to the early days here.

13. One of my favorite things about Passafire is that y'alls sound is always evolving, has that resulted in a more fluid fanbase for the band or would you say the majority of fans have become dedicated because of y'alls reluctance to settle on a specific part sound spectrum?

TB: I think we have a sound that allows for people from all kinds of backgrounds to gravitate to it.  The ones who don't like the "repetitive" nature of reggae are given relief when we break into a metal riff or funk breakdown here and there.  The fact the we change it up often adds dynamics to our show and albums.  Music, in my opinion, should reflect the many aspects of life.  Love, sadness, joy, thoughtfulness, philosophy, abstraction... these are all things that can be expressed through music.  We strive to continually explore all of these things.

14. Do you think the band will release a documentary/DVD of y'all playing an entire live show and maybe gives fans an inside look what life is like on tour with the band?

TB: We have so much footage from the 14 years we've been a band.  Someday I hope to do a more in depth style doc about the band that includes live footage, studio footage, interviews, and behind the scenes stuff.  I would love to tell our story thus far with film.

15. What's left on the bucket list for Passafire?

TB: Red Rocks, South America, Australia/NZ, Asia,  Africa, the world!  We have several ideas for alternative tour formats such as an all brewery tour where we can team up with small craft breweries nationwide.  Beside that, we're looking forward to continuing to build our relationships and fanbase over in Europe in the coming years.

16. How would you describe Passafire to our fans who are just now being introduced to the band?

TB: We bring a lot of energy to the stage.  Our albums are enjoyable and very diverse musically, but the live show is where we shine.  We thrive off of crowd interaction and overall good vibes.  Our music is reggae infused progressive/alternative rock but we jump around to many different points of the spectrum.

17. If you had to choose one Passafire song to be broadcasted into the depths of outer space  which one would you choose?

TB: Start from Scratch, of course!  ("Like black holes in space")

18. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Houston?

TB: "Houston, we have liftoff!"

19. If you were to choose a lineup for the Houston Reggae Festival who would you want to see on the bill?

TB: Chronixx, John Brown's Body, The Expanders, Jesse Royal, Raging Fiya, or Steel Pulse

20. For the final question I want to give our fans something to look forward to, when can we expect to see Passafire in Houston again?  

TB: Possibly spring, maybe summer.

[hungariangypsie]

The Help - Movie

The Help takes place in Jackson, Mississippi the year of 1963. This period of time was during the Jim Crow laws and racial segregation and discrimination in the southern United States. Even though the Civil War abolished slavery, blacks were still being discriminated against. The Jim Crow law, that Aibileen Clark was deathly afraid of, demanded racial segregation in all public places, such as public schools, public transportation - buses and trains, separate entrances to public facilities such as movie theaters and restaurants, separate drinking fountains and restrooms for whites and for blacks, and to go so far as prohibiting blacks from living in some towns, some black people couldn't vote because they couldn't pass a voter literacy test, and interracial marriage was illegal. The Jim Crow Laws were finally overruled by the Civil Rights Act in 1964 that was initiated by President John F. Kennedy before he was assassinated.

Upon returning from Ole Miss College, Skeeter Phelan (a white socialite woman) desired to be a famous write someday. Skeeter's publisher (Miss Stein) told her to write about what disturbs her. Skeeter became very uncomfortable with the racist attitudes and the disrespectful ways her wealthy socialite friends (Elizabeth Leefolt, Hilly Holbrook, Jolene French) acted towards their maids. It was those uncomfortable feelings that guided Skeeter to write a book depicting the view from the help - the maids. Skeeter's conversation with Miss Stein: "These colored women raise white children, and then in twenty years those children become the boss. We love them, and they love us, but they can't even use the toilets in our houses. Don't you find that ironic, Miss Stein?"

The main character in the movie, Aibileen Clark, is a black maid that takes care of Mae Mobley - Elizabeth Leefolt's daughter. Aibileen takes pride in her work as she states, "Taking care a white babies, that’s what I do, along with all the cooking and the cleaning. I done raised seventeen kids in my lifetime. I know how to get them babies to sleep, stop crying, and go in the toilet bowl before they mamas even get out a bed in the morning."Mae Mobley loved Aibileen. In one scene Mae Mobley caresses Aibileen's cheek and says, "You're my real mama, Aibee."

Minny Jackson is Aibileen's best friend and is notably "the best cook in Jackson, Mississippi." Minny is the maid of Mrs. Walters - mother of Hilly Holbrook. Because of Minny's temper, her brash tongue, and her attempt to use the Holbrook family bathroom, Hilly fired Minny.

Hilly was adamant that black people shouldn't use white people's bathrooms, "Tell Raleigh every penny he spends on a colored's bathroom, he'll get back in spades when y'all sell. It's just plain dangerous. They carry different diseases than we do." (Bathroom Segregation video https://youtu.be/E-g9PX-cAWs). Hilly sent her, "Home Help Sanitation Initiative," to the governor to sign - it would ban all black servants from using their white employer’s bathroom.  All the maids in Jackson feared Hilly because she could destroy a maid if she had a grudge against them - which she unfairly did to Minny.

Aibileen, Minny, and Skeeter take on the task of revealing the truth (both good and bad) about the way southern white women and families treated their black maids and service people.

Skeeter first interviewed Aibileen, then Minny decided to help. Soon other maids came forward to share their stories of how they spent their entire lives taking care of southern families and the treatment they received from them. Skeeter also shared her story of being raised by a black maid, Constantine Jefferson, that worked for the family for 29 years. Skeeter loved Constantine like a mother and reveals how her mother broke Constantine's heart when she fired her. The maids believed that telling their stories to be published in a book, they were doing their part to end the inhumane treatment of the black people and it was their way to help with the Civil Rights Movement. The book was to be published anonymously, however, the women became fearful that their stories would be recognized in their small community and retaliation would ensue. Aibileen reveals that she was more afraid of authoring the book, than she was afraid of the "Jim Crow" laws. Minny reveals her "terrible awful" secret that she thinks will be insurance that could keep their stories a secret - her secret chocolate pie ingredients.

https://goo.gl/images/eHrZJE

Video:  https://youtu.be/8fgub5zkBVk

During the Reconstructionperiod, blacks began to take leadership roles and were pushing hard for legislative changes for equality. Trying to disregard the progress of the blacks and to keep blacks and whites separated, the "Jim Crow" laws were established. Skeeter obtained a copy of "The Mississippi Code of Conduct for Non-Whites" and began to read the laws that were being enforced on black people. Here are a few examples of the laws: Books were not to be used between the white and colored schools, they could only be used by the race first using them. Black barbers could not serve white women or girls. Anyone who printed, published or circulated materials about social equality between whites and negroes is subject to imprisonment. Interracial marriage was illegal. Most blacks couldn't vote because they were unable to pass a voter literacy tests. Blacks couldn't use the same public facilities as whites, nor live in many white towns, or got to the same schools as whites. During the Reconstruction period the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) was established to impose violence on both black and white leaders because they were wanting to reverse the laws and progress of the Reconstruction advancements. To further undermine the progress made, the US Supreme Court stated in the Plessy v. Ferguson case that facilities for blacks and whites could be "separate but equal." Years later, in the "Brown v. Board of Education"case the US Supreme Court made segregation illegal in the public schools. The Civil Rights Act of 1957, signed by President Eisenhower, declared that anyone trying to prevent someone from voting could be punished with federal prosecution. In 1963 the March on Washingtonwas a civil rights movement organized by Civil Rights leaders of Martin Luther King, A. Philip Randolph, and Bayard Rustin. It was a peaceful march of over 200,000 people to bring attention and to force civil rights legislation and job equality for everyone. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech became the slogan for equality and freedom. The Civil Rights Act of 1964, signed by President John F. Kennedy, proclaimed equal employment for all and federal authorities could be used to make sure all public facilities were integrated. The Voting Rights Act of 1965banned the use of all voter literacy tests. 1968 the Fair Housing Act became a law that prevented housing discrimination based on race, national origin, religion and sex. Civil Rights Leaders and activists, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcom X, and President John F. Kennedy all fought hard for the Civil Rights movement. However, during that time, they were assassinated.

The book was published and was a huge success - except Ms. Hilly didn't like it. Ms. Hilly read the book and immediately knew Chapter 12 of the book was about her. She threatened Skeeter with a law suit but got no satisfaction from that threat. Aibileen got retaliation as Ms. Hilly pressured Ms. Elizabeth to fire her. The most touching part of the movie: https://youtu.be/FuyAt68pj3I

The cast of The Helps consists of Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark, Emma Stone as Eugenia "Skeeter" Phelan, Octavia Spencer as Minny Jackson, Jessica Chastain as Celia Rae Foote, Bryce Dallas Howard as Hilly Walters Holbrook, Allison Janney as Charlotte Phelan, Anna O'Reilly as Elizabeth Leefolt, Chris Lowell as Stuart Whitworth, Sissy Spacek as Mrs. Walters, Cicely Tyson as Constantine Bates, Mike Vogel as Johnny Foote, Anna Camp as Jolene French, Brian Kerwin as Robert Phelan, Aunjanue Ellis as Yule May Davis, Ted Welch as William Holbrook, Wes Chatham as Carlton Phelan, Shane McRae as Raleigh Leefolt, Roslyn Ruff as Pascagoula, Tarra Riggs as Gretchen, LaChanze as Rachel Bates, Mary Steenburgen as Elaine Stein, Leslie Jordan as Mr. Blackly, David Oyelowo as Preacher Green, Dana Ivey as Grace Higginbotham, Tiffany Brouwer as Rebeca, Carol Lee as Pearly, Carol Sutton as Callie, Ashley Johnson as Mary Beth Caldwell, and Nelsan Ellis as Henry.

https://goo.gl/images/muZWkr

How do children learn about race, biases, and prejudice? Racism is how people interpret, adopt, and repeat inequality. Are we born with preconceived concepts of racism? Babies are born capable of learning things without being taught - how to suck for nourishment, how to make sounds to communicate, how to crawl, and they learn to talk by listening to others. As children grow they learn to sort things by colors and shapes. At an early age they begin to sort their world and form their own ideas. Children use this cognitive development to sort people too. However, they are not forming racism, they are observing and categorizing. Erin N. Winkler from the Africology Department at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee has studied the topic of "how children form their ideas about race during early stages of development" (https://www.wiscontext.org/how-kids-learn-about-race-stereotypes-and-prejudice).

"As curious young minds begin to figure out shapes and colors, they're also seeing visible differences among people and determining their own identities - including racial awareness.  Of course, this development doesn't mean that children are inherently bigoted - rather, their thinking about race stems from normal processes of observing and categorizing." (Winkler, 2009)

Studies have been conducted as far back as the 1940s-1950s when Mamie and Kenneth Clark did their "Doll Study." The study gave African-American children a choice between a black doll and a white doll. (The Life and Challenges of Mamie and Kenneth Clark: https://youtu.be/kG90mSaWUpE). The majority of the children preferred the white doll and gave more positive qualities to the white doll.  

                  https://goo.gl/images/28mA1j   

          https://goo.gl/images/nhLMcJ

There was a racism experiment conducted in a classroom by a 3rd grade teacher, Jane Elliott from Riceville, Iowa. Her experiment was carried out after the assassination of Martin Luther King. She wanted her students to internalize and begin to understand what racism and discrimination felt like. Brown Eyes and Blue Eyes Racism Experiment: https://youtu.be/KHxFuO2Nk-0. In Jane Elliot's experiment she began by dividing her students into two groups of eye colors - The Brown-eyed group and The Blue-eyed group. She told the children that the children with brown eyes were "superior and smarter" and gave them extra privileges and praise. She then told the children with blue eyes they were "inferior, unruly, and untrustworthy," and treated them like second class citizens. The next day roles were reversed. Jane Elliott was shocked at what she seen. “I watched what had been marvelous, cooperative, wonderful, thoughtful children turn into nasty, vicious, discriminating little third-graders, in the space of 15 minutes.” Jane Elliot explained to the children that what they learned over the last two days was "a filthy, nasty word called discrimination," which means "treating people a certain way because they are different." Through her experiment, she was able to teach the children what it felt like to be victims of prejudice.

At the University of Yale's Baby Lab that supports the research of Erin N. Winkler. Are babies born with a type of bias? is produced by CNN's Anderson Cooper as he visits the University of Yale's Baby Lab where researchers study the minds of infants - https://youtu.be/3EoNYklyShs.

Two more studies were conducted from the University of Yale's Child Study Center where they investigate human development to understand the mental health of children. In 2010, AC360°team reinvestigated the original "Doll Study" to determine what are children's current racial beliefs, attitudes, preferences, and skin tone preferences at two different developmental stages. This is the outcome of that study: of Inside the AC360 Doll Study: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYCz1ppTjiM. To further this Doll Study, parents were interviewed as to what their responses were about their children's answers in that study, I Was Upset of How My Child Views Race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm_CfET1Ffg.

My understandings from the three videos and research is that racism or racial bias is a significant problem. If we don't believe it is a problem, then why are so many black children choosing the white dolls over their own skin toned black dolls?

https://goo.gl/images/yqg5Ks

Kids on Race: The Hidden Picture did another study: A Look at Race Relations through a Child's Eyes. This study interviewed 145 Kids at 6 schools across 3 states. The children were majority white, majority African American, and racially diverse. Children were shown two pictures with one white and one black child, both near a swing. The study reveals that 70% of white children interpreted there was something negative happening, as opposed to only 38% of the black children. https://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2012/images/03/29/ac360.race.study.pdf

Skin Color - The Way Kids See It (https://youtu.be/JcAuO0PNnrs) shows that there is hope that change in children's perception or racism is shifting.

Kiri Davis, a young filmmaker, conducted a documentary, A Girl Like Me: (https://youtu.be/z0BxFRu_SOw) that shows there is still a racial gap in our American Culture. In this video she interviews young African-American women and they discuss finding their own identities and being accepted. She also conducted her own "doll test" on 21 black children. 15 out of the 21 children chose the white doll. Why do African-Americans still feel the effects of racism so many years after the Civil Rights Movement?

What needs to happen to  ensure children become more accepting of people of all races and cultures? "Children are aware very young that color, language, gender, and physical ability differences are connected with privilege and power." (Derman-Sparks) Jane Elliott stated: "Racism was something that people learned" - something adults need to stop displaying and teaching. Adults need to educate themselves, so they can be knowledgeable and accurate when talking to children about racial discrimination. We need to be aware of our own actions as children learn about their world and the people around them from their observations. We need to talk about what acceptance of all race and cultures should look like and feel like. We need to discuss openly, age appropriate conversations, about racial differences and treat people as equals, worthy, and have potential. Children should not be brought up as "colorblind" and not understanding what racism is. We need to empower children to be racially conscious and teach them how to combat inequality and discrimination. They need to learn how to celebrate diversity and to recognize their own identities. Children should be taught what it is like to live in an unequal society.  Children should not learn about negative stereotypes, biases, or racism from social media, movies, or inappropriate role models. As we teach children, adults need to empower them in building a positive self-identity that can "develop critical thinking and the skills for standing up for oneself and others in the face of injustice." (Derman-Sparkes) Children need to learn about racism from a trusting adult that will teach them not to discriminate and to treat everyone equally - we are all the same, just a little different.

# I wonder how fast information could have spread and how many people would have been reached if digital activismwas available during the Civil Rights Movement #

CHILDREN'S BOOKS ON RACE AND RACISM:            

All the Colors of the Earth by Sheila Hamanaka

All the Colors We Are: The Story of How We Got Our Skin Color by Katie Kissinger

Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman

Chocolate Me! by Taye Diggs                        

Happy To Be Nappy by Bell Hooks                    

I Am Beautiful - When I Look at Me, I See....by Simona da Costa

It's Okay To Be Different by Todd Parr

Same, Same But Different by Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw

Shades of People by Shelley Rotner

Skin Again by Bell Hooks

The Colors of Us by Karen Katz

The Skin I'm In: A First Look at Racism by Pat Thomas

The Skin You Live in by Michael Tayler

We're Different, We're the Same by Bobbie Kates (Sesame Street)

Whoever You Are by Mem Fox

RESOURCES:

All the Colors We Are: The Story of How We Get Our Skin Color by Katie Kissinger

How Real Is Race? A Sourcebook on Rae, Culture, and Biology by Carol C. Mukhopadhyay,                                   Rosemary Henze, Yolanda T. Moses

REFERENCES:

Derman-Sparks, L & A.B.C. Task Force. Anti-Bias Curriculum: Tools For Empowering Young Chilren. Retrieved from: https://www.teachingforchange.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ec_antibiascurriculum_english.pdf

Derman-Sparkes, L., Tanaka Higa, C., Sparkes, B. Children Race and Racism: How Race Awareness Develops. Retrived from: https://www.teachingforchange.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ec_childrenraceracism_english.pdf

Forgerson Hindley, A & Olsen Edwards, Julie (2017) Early Childhood Racial Identity - The Potential Powerful Role for Museum Programming. Journal of Museum Education 2017, VOL 42, NO 1, PGS. 13-21 Retrieved from: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/10598650.2016.1265851?needAccess=true

Jacobs, T. (2017) Are Babies Born Biased? Pacific Standard Magazine. Retrieved from: https://psmag.com/social-justice/are-babies-born-biased

NAEYC Pathways to Cultural Competence Project. Montana Early Childhood Project. Vol. 7. Retrieved from: https://www.mtecp.org/pdfs/Christy/7NAEYC%20PCCP.pdf

Online Report for CNN Anderson Cooper 360° Special Report “Kids on Race: The Hidden Picture” (2012) Retrieved from:   https://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2012/images/03/29/ac360.race.study.pdf

Winkler, E.N. (2016) Children are not Colorblind: How Young Children Learn Race. University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Retrieved from: https://inclusions.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Children-are-Not-Colorblind.pdf

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.