#like she's the actual azem shard

[alicesadventuresinffxiv]

FFxivWrite2024 #15 (Free) / #wolkrileweek #2

Title: A Nostalgic Adventure 

Wordcount: 552

Spoilers through: Eureka, Shadowbringers

Alternate Universe: WoL!Fordola

Relationships & Characters: Krile (Azem)

Summary: Krile finds a strange crystal in Galuf’s office.

(Sunday was the free day for FFxivWrite, and meanwhile I'd been thinking about Krile ideas because of #wolkrileweek... so I woke up this morning and a weird fusion of both fell out of my brain. ^^;)

.

Krile puttered about the board room, straightening books, cleaning up dust and debris. Eureka was no more, but more importantly Eijika, Fordola, and the whole team of adventurers were safe, thank goodness. 

The past few moons had been quite the adventure! Far more excitement than Krile preferred, to be honest.

And yet… risking her life, battling strange beasts, exploring the unknown… there was something about it that had felt uncannily familiar. As impossible as it could be. Krile was a creature of comfort and academia. However much she ached to do more to help the Scions, her talents and personality were best suited for support. 

Take now, for example. Ejika’s stunt (not to mention the revelations of the final fate of her grandfather) had left her feeling rattled. Something about the whole encounter, the horrible explanation for the isle’s fate, still nagged at her even as she refused to look away from its truth. And so she cleaned and she wandered, as though putting the room back the way it had been could also restore her broken, grieving heart to the way it had been.

Krile idly shuffled through the books on Grandfather’s desk. It felt uncomfortable to touch them - as though he would appear at any moment to gently scold his nosy little bundle of trouble for going through his things the way she did his thoughts - but the books belonged on the shelves and leaving them scattered about did naught for no one.

Then she froze.

Underneath the parchment that contained Galuf’s final words was a curious orange crystal. And the aether pulsating from it… ah, that was why she hadn’t noticed it before. It was incredibly strong, but not elementally aspected as she’d been on guard for.

An artifact like this… whatever it was, it was dangerous. Every instinct that made Krile, Krile, screamed at her not to touch it. Let someone who actually understood cursed objects handle it!

And yet, when she picked it up, it felt right in her hand.

Even as it felt as though the floor lurched out from under her and she was falling, falling, falling into the memory.

Krile remembered. Galuf’s hurried preparations. His confrontation with the Ascian. The way the monster in the black robe had laughed as she’d drawn Krile’s limp body out of the dark portal.

(Of course she hadn’t made it to the harbor. She’d never had the chance.)

Krile remembered. Galuf’s terror and fury at seeing her so helpless. The Ascian’s cruel taunts. She’d never been after Eureka at all. What was a mere eikon to their cause, compared to finding her?

The Paragons would reward her handsomely for this.

Krile remembered. The look of resignation and sorrow on her grandfather’s face. His farewell and an apology. His last spell, and the light of the Mothercrystal into which he’d entrusted her.

It was a kinder fate than what the Ascian had intended for her. But even the best-laid plans of gods and men were wont to go awry. 

Krile gasped and clutched her head as she remembered. Wanderer. Adventurer. Not who she was now. But who she had once been.

Tear after tear poured down the lonely girl’s cheeks as her eyes took on an ancient, unearthly glow.

At the wrong time, in the wrong place… Azem remembered.

[tallbluelady]

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

Okay okay. @hermits-hovel has an ancient OC of Mnemosyne who is in charge of memory crystals (such as the ones the Convocation ->Ascians keep). In his lore, the memory holder can no longer recall them as they are in the Crystal now.

Minthe, in general, is against doing this. She understands that Mnemosyne’s archive is useful and wouldn’t stop him from doing it, but part of what makes her and Ariadne’s relationship crumble is that Ari is asking him to take her memories away for safe keeping instead of actually facing them and ordering them in her mind. So you would never expect her to ask Mnemo to do this, right?

Weeeeeellllll… One night, Daedalus tells Minthe about Zodiark, far before the Final Days. Basically, who’s involved and what the summoning entails. And that it is inevitable. Minthe is brought to such a seething rage at Hades that she can hardly stand to think of him, while Daedalus is defending him. She tells Daedalus to "never speak of this conversation again" and storms out to get it removed by Mnemosyne. She returns calm but depressed with a handwritten note that tells Daedalus to not talk about Zodiark in any meaningful way so they can continue to speak to Hades (I wish I knew what that note says lol). He’s smart enough to do so and the three of them continue having a cordial relationship until the Convocation releases its plan for Zodiark.

Annnnd in a fun twist of events, Miranda gets a hold of this memory crystal and vows to kill Emet-Selch for pulling Daedalus into it!

Thanks for the ask!

[picaroroboto]

Particularly as of Shadowbringers and Endwalker one the WoL's key canon traits is how they attempt to understand their enemies - even if conflict is unavoidable or a villain's crimes unforgivable they still want to know who they're fighting and why. On the opposite end a core point of Zenos's character, and the source of many of his problems, is that he doesn't understand others and doesn't care to try, not until his final confrontation with the WoL and his last moments where he's asking them all these questions in an attempt to actually know them rather than just project himself on them like he's always done.

As his Voidsent Avatar, Zero's arc is an extension of this, in a way - see the way she still thinks and talks about Zenos, tries to understand him, while looking to the WoL and their friends to relearn how to human. This fully matures into her making efforts to understand Golbez, and succeeding in offering friendship to him. This is why Golbez's first steps to redemption feel more powerful and moving then if we'd simply defeated him, because it completes a closed circle of trust (doubly so if either Durante or the original Golbez is the Azem shard of the Thirteenth, as some popular theories suggest).

And all of this with the motif of hand-holding/handshakes/reaching out a hand: Zero learning the gesture from Jullus, extending a hand to help Golbez, shaking hands with the WoL as a sign of their friendship; compared to Zenos reaching out his hand towards the WoL at the end, or Durante and Golbez's original attempt to recruit Zero, both of which did not reach, but I think those connections are ultimately fulfilled by the end of this arc.

[rharyx]

Now that I've beaten Dawntrail, I can safely say it's one of my favorite expansions. Like, none of the expansions have actually been bad imo, but Dawntrail is just super comfy and enjoyable.

Wuk Lamat is a lovable character, and I'm proud to call her my sister Lamaty'i. I honestly don't get the hate for her role in the plot, nor her voice acting. She's adorable, and I loved seeing her grow, and experiencing Tural through both her initially naive eyes and her more trained eyes.

Everything about the journey through Tural was really fun, and I think it's some of the best zones we've gotten in a while. I loved arriving in a new place and learning about a new culture and their people, and seeing how it all tied into the Rite of Succession and what Lamaty'i was going to take away from it. How it all added to the stories of her, Koana, and even Zoraal Ja was really well done.

Like, Endwalker was good, don't get me wrong, but all the "end of the saga" doom and gloom really wore me down sometimes, so having a more lighthearted vacation where it's just you and your friends in a new land taking in the sights and helping out where you can was really relieving. I loved the entire time I spent traveling across Tural.

It all felt like a proper adventure, one that the Warrior of Light has been yearning for. They're an adventurer at heart, and sure they'll protect the world when they're called upon, but they at their core just like to travel and meet new people. They love the Star with all their heart, whether due to being a shard of Azem or not. And so this adventure through Tural was exactly what they needed. And you can see it in their eyes.

There are some nit picky stuff I could say that I didn't care for overall, but in the grand scheme of things they don't matter at all, because the expansion as a whole was just really enjoyable. I just can't understand the negative reception it's getting from some people.

Maybe I'm just pulling this out of nowhere, but I feel like we're finally seeing the consequences of so many people being told to "skip ARR" and the earlier stuff so they can get to ShB -- "the good stuff." We're getting people who are calling DT boring or slow, because all they really focused on was the high points of ShB and EW, not realizing DT is what most of the game is actually like. Idk, but DT just felt like all the parts of FF14 that I've enjoyed from the start rolled into one. And if you're only here for ShB-type stuff, you're just not engaging with the game properly.

Anyway, I love Dawntrail, and I love all the new characters and bits of lore it introduces, and I'm sad I already finished it because I don't want to wait for more story content. I really want to see where this story goes, and I want to see more of my Turali family.

[koukouture]

In Shadowbringers neither G'raha nor Emet Selch really know Elysia. G'raha only knows his hero, his idol; he only knows the Warrior of Light. Emet Selch only knows Azem or Lucifer; her past incarnation. And even back then Lucifer was nowhere near genuine with Emet Selch and he views her through rose tinted glasses anyways.

Elysia knows this. It actually permeates every single conversation she has with them. They both seem to know her so intimately and yet they don't know her at all. G'raha Tia can recite her exploits and heroics like they're gospel and Emet Selch speaks to her as if he's known her for thousands of years (he has; through hundreds of her incarnations across the shards) Elysia knows that the Exarch and the first need their hero, and she knows that Emet Selch is searching for something within her. And she is nothing if a people pleaser.

She's mad at both of them but her very nature now is merely to be a puppet. She's grown desensitized. She will be the muse, the fantasy, the hero; anything but her true self.

G'raha and Emet Selch both try to get to know her too- they just fail and can't accept Elysia for who she truly is (in the moment, ofc)

G'raha can't accept that his hero is actually a selfish, vain, nihilistic monster (at this point in the story at least) and doesn't care for salvation. Elysia is just too scared to die and too scared to be left alone so she does all the hero business. But eventually Shadowbringers pushes her to almost suicidal ideation and G'raha sees her at her lowest and ugliest. How can this be the hero? He wonders. Sure he has his plan to save her but she is so resigned to her fate with the knowledge that she will destroy the First and it shocks him because he's believed for the longest time that she was infallible, immortal- an angel. But standing before him now is a girl who has nothing to lose anymore. (G'raha wonders if he should just let her die- at least then she would have some autonomy in her life)

Emet Selch can't accept Elysia's mortality because in his eyes that should be Lucifer standing there- bright, immortal, shining Lucifer- but Lucifer is gone. He is mad at Lucifer so he is still mad at Elysia who has done nothing to deserve his anger. He idolized Lucifer so he desperately looks for any trace of her in Elysia. He hates confronting the fact that he might not have known his friend as well as he thought he did. He has to realize that he never knew Lucifer at all. Instead, he gets to know Elysia through Lucifer because despite her countless incarnations; Lucifer can't change. It's terrifying because he can't help but love her either. Lucifer will have Hades wrapped around her finger until the end of time. Elysia is now merely an object of Emet Selch's grief and obsession. The sun has set but Hades selfishly keeps a sliver of it's light in the palm of his hand to brave the night ahead. (Lucifer's incarnations have kept what little sanity he has intact all these years)

Elysia doesn't even know what she is anymore. Slayer of gods, murderer, a living nightmare to the Garleans- her every step has been steeped in blood, ash and ichor. She's gotten rid of her old self- of little Akari- and carved Elysia into the fabric of this world. The truth is, the singularity that is Elysia should not exist. Not with this much power, at least. What is a mortal to do with the power to topple god? Contest the divine? Be the sole salvation of entire worlds? How is this a blessing when everything is always a burden for her to carry? She follows the orders, she saves the people, she is their hope and what does she get in return? More destruction. She loses everyone around her and herself in return for the world's balance. What if... she were to die? How splendid would that be. It would be such a relief for everyone to see her for the monster she is if she becomes a Light Warden. She would be free of her role of the Warrior of Light- free to gorge herself on the audience who watches the spectacle of her suffering. (Elysia isn't a monster; just a girl forced to bear the weight of the world alone)

Anyways yeah tldr Post Heavensward - Endwalker Elysia is having the WORST time of her life.

[livingonextratime]

Remembering this post and like. The world is sleeping on the potential of Wol/Venat, I think.

Possibly because people are used to parsing Hydaelyn as Goddess Figure even though EW very thoroughly yanked back the curtain there. (The thought suddenly occurs that she and G'raha Tia have some thematic parallels going on...)

But seriously this woman is so very Not Normal about WoL and honestly i love that for her. Shadowbringers set us all up like 'the WoL is the Chosen Hero because they're a shard of Azem' and like...turns out that wasn't actually the deciding factor! Turns out they're a chosen hero because Venat spent one day with them when she was Going Through Some Shit quite aside from how hermes and meteion accidentally the apocalypse, and that one day in their company fundamentally changed her brain chemistry forever.

Time loop ESTABLISHED. Goddess was secretly worshipping her mortal champion this whole time. They're her special little guy and if you don't clap for them she'll blow the whole building up. Then when they finally meet in person again with WoL having all the facts she immediately throws herself on their blade and dies. New frontiers of both intimacy and estrangement being blazed here. Shrimp mental illnesses. They would NOT fuck normal and if your response to that is 'mommy kink' you are a plebian, you have not even scratched the surface of what this has to offer. Situationship of all time.

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

Spotify ask number 63

Where does your body go when I leave you alone? Would your heart know if I met you in a brand new set of bones? 'Cause you may see me in different bodies Hiding below with the same soul I could have walked by you a thousand times Different places, different lives

-"Same Soul" by PVRIS

Thank you for sending this in! I had this song last year funny enough for the gpose prompts so similar take but with a slightly different interpretation this year! Have my Azems and their various shards! Complete pictures and info below the cut (spoilers for ShB, EW, Panda raids, Post-EW patches, and FFXVI)

Deimos and Phobos

The originals, the start of it all! During the Final Days in looking for a solution that would prevent more death and sacrifice Deimos became overwhelmed and devised a bit of a crazy plan he wasn't even sure would work. Deimos growing up had heterochromia, knowing it was one of his eyes having just slightly different DNA he took a page out of his old mentor Lahabrea's book and tried to see if he too could split himself in two. The difference in being able to keep a full soul and full power laid in Deimos making the basis on that small piece of different DNA, and so was Phobos brought into fruition!

note: characters on the left/listed first are shards of Deimos and those on the right/listed second are shards of Phobos

Demos Reyes and Siberite Akagane (The Source)

The WoLs and the ones to avert the Final Days, the promised kept to one Emet-Selch made thousands of year earlier. The two couldn't get a long at first but over time and through many trials they found common ground and supported one another and developed a kinship that goes beyond friendship. With the Final Days averted the two are living out a version of what their past selves would have done, with Demos settling down and leading a more quiet life, with the occasional adventure, and with Siberite exploring the world with all it has to offer and helping those met along the way with no sign of stopping.

Unnamed Archeologist and Ardbert (The First)

"There was a man. A researcher who pored over these pieces. He offered us work when we needed it. Slaying beasts, delivering provisions... A funny old bugger, he was, but he had a good heart. He believed this first painting dated back to a time of myth and legends. A tribute to the heroes of a long-forgotten era. The story went that it was rediscovered by an explorer from Ronka, who was so struck by its majesty that a second painting was commissioned, commemorating the heroes of their day. "One day, you will all be here too," he said. "Heroes immortalized forever. Maybe I'll paint you myself!" I had a good laugh at that. We were only trying to make our way, after all. Being heroes couldn't have been further from our minds. But it seems...he actually went and did it. Before or after the Flood, I wonder...Do you suppose your deeds will warrant an addition to this collection? Or some other kind of monument?" -Ardbert, Shadowbringers

What can I say he explains all you need to know.

Golbez and Durante (The Thirteenth)

Two friends trying to save their world from impending darkness, were unsuccessful in their endeavor resulting in one having to kill the other. With his best friend dead and the world still falling apart Durante took up Golbez's armor and name in the hopes of being able to eventually free his home from the cycle of darkness that befell the land. His methods would prove destructive and nearly be the end of him, had he not been reminded of the friendship that he once had. This pair shows just what can happen when one loses the other after having met and forged a bond, their souls don't like be parted in that way and will lash out in line with who they are in that life.

Clive Rosfield and Midadol "Mid" Telamon (Valisthea)

Both souls on their first lives in their world Clive and Mid met for the first time not long after her father's death and since then she's been whirlwind of a friend to Clive. A prodigy engineer Mid created The Enterprise to initially be a last resort for escaping the Blight, but seeing all that Clive had done so far to stop that from happening put him in charge of the vessel and did everything in her power to help him save their world. While neither know that they share the same soul Clive can't help but be reminded of Siberite, the au ra he met while on a different world, when Mid is teasing him or speaking from the heart, while Mid always felt an instant connection to and faith in the man that made it feel like they had been friends since children and not just the five years. There is only two people that know of them having the same soul in this world and that is Barnabas and Ultima, the two using it to their advantage to get Clive to Kanver.

[amoebaforce]

How would you think the scions react to learning that after the final fight against Zenos in EW, the WoL had brought him back aswell for them to keep him alive, then when they also find out the reasoning behind it being that the WoL and Zenos are dating?

anon, this was a juicy one! i was immediately intrigued, then i thought... "what if they all found out at the SAME TIME?"

so that's what i wrote! enjoy! :D

characters featured: Thancred Waters, Urianger Augerelt, Y'shtola Rhul, Estinien Wyrmblood, G'raha Tia, Alphinaud & Alisaie Leveilleur, Zenos yae Galvus tags: angst, secret relationship, mention of violence/grievous injury, Endwalker spoilers!!!, gn!WoL word count: 1408

They’d really done it. Their unhinged plan — flying to the edge of the universe, bringing hope to the wellspring of despair — actually worked. When the starship landed, the sky was blue again, the sun shining bright and hot over the white-washed walls of Sharlayan. The Scions were heroes. And as such, they should have been celebrating their triumph. Or sleeping for a week. But, of course, they were doing neither.

Instead, they were crammed seven-deep into an infirmary waiting room, staring at walls and fidgeting as they waited for the Warrior of Light to emerge from one of the sick rooms. A fairly regular occurrence for them, with one exception. It was not the Warrior convalescing; it was the disgraced prince of Garlemald himself, Zenos viator Galvus. The fact that he swallowed the Mothercrystal’s power and hunted the Warrior to the edge of the universe was dramatic enough as it was, but the fact that the Warrior brought him back afterward? 

Bizarre. That was the unspoken consensus between the Scions. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, unwilling to assume but burning with curiosity all the same. As they pondered a day full of incomprehensible occurrences, the door to Room Two slid open, and the Warrior of Light emerged into the waiting room. Their comrade’s face was grimmer than befits a shard of Azem. The silence was a shell no one wished to break.

Finally, someone exhaled.

“Does he live?” Y’shtola asked, tone held taut. The Warrior merely nodded their head. “How severe are the injuries?”

“Fractured jaw,” the Warrior recited, eyes a little glazed. “One wrist and one leg are broken, and a few ribs, too. Internal bleeding. Bruises and cuts everywhere.”

“What happened out there?” Alphinaud exclaimed. He rose to his feet, and his sister followed, though her eyes were still cast to the floor. “I mean, we almost lost you, and then he teleported aboard, too, and–” 

“Zenos helped me,” the Warrior said suddenly. “We stopped the Song. Then we fought, and I… I couldn’t leave him there.”

Thancred and Urianger exchanged a look. The Warrior took another step into the room, not quite sure who to look at. A thousand emotions swirled through the Scions’ faces. 

“Listen,” Thancred said, “I trust your judgment. If you saw fit to bring him back, I can’t argue.”

“Neither can I,” G’raha interjected. He fidgeted slightly in his seat. “Though I admit I’m a little confused as to why.”

Alisaie crossed her arms. “Me, too,” she muttered. “He’s a real piece of work.”

“People can change,” the Warrior argued, tone verging on defensive. “Look at Yotsuyu. Look at Fordola.”

The Elezen girl twisted her lips, though she couldn’t argue the point. Her brother took a go at it, instead.

“But you just said he went up there to fight you again,” Alphinaud countered. “Clearly he has not grown out of his fascination with harming you.”

“He doesn’t want to harm me,” the Warrior said. “It… It wasn’t like that. He challenges me because I’m his only equal. The only person who could ever hope to be a match to him.”

“What are you saying, exactly?” G’raha asked, ears twitching. 

The Warrior hesitated. Cast their eyes around the room. A sea of faces stared back, all in various stages of bafflement. All faces the Warrior had come to know, love, and respect. They hung their head.

“I’m sorry,” they told the Scions. “I’ve been keeping a secret.” 

In an instant, the room went airless. 

“I beg your pardon?” Y’shtola demanded.

“What does that mean?” Alisaie shouted.

“Now, now,” Urianger said, stepping closer. “None of us have ever presumed to be privy to every facet of our comrade’s personal life. I am sure all of us have some intimate business we’d prefer not to air among ourselves. I cannot fault the Warrior for keeping their conversations with us work-related.”

“This is work-related,” Y’shtola shot back. “Zenos has been a thorn in our side for ages!”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” the Warrior said again. “But after that day in Garlemald, after Alisaie told him off, things changed. We talked. Came to understand each other.”

Thancred frowned. “Well, I guess if anyone could understand a guy like that, it might as well be you…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin.

“So you’ve been meeting with him in secret?” Alphinaud asked. The Warrior nodded.

“And what do you do on these rendezvous with the enemy?” Y’shtola pressed, even as Urianger lifted a brow at her tone.

The Warrior sighed. Memories flooded their mind. Soft nights in Ilsabard, splitting a loaf of rationed bread around the coals of a dying fire. Whispering into the crook of his neck as the sky turned pale.

“We just talked. Not about ‘work’ or anything like that — about life, and the past, and the future. He’s lonely. He wants to move on.”

“Tell that to the people left behind in the snow,” Alisaie snapped, and the Warrior winced, because she was right. 

His freedom wasn’t fair. For acts like his, there had to be consequences. They’d told Zenos as much the first time he showed up at their door. But he showed up again, and again, and the Warrior realized he had nowhere to go. No one to cling to. 

“He’ll atone,” the Warrior said, holding their chin high. “Just like the other architects of the war. I’ll make sure he does.”

“You speak as if you are his shepherd,” Y’shtola said.

When the Warrior did not deny it, the Scions went a little stiller. Another pause.

“Do you… care for him?” G’raha ventured. 

The Warrior’s composed facade cracked. 

“I do,” they confessed. Tears sprung to their eyes. “And I know Zenos has done a lot of bad, but so have I. I put down hordes of the tempered before there was treatment. They were innocent people. Victims. I held the dying in my arms as they told me their lives were less worthy than mine, like it was just that they died and I did not. And all of us who freed Doma and Ala Migho have Garlean blood on our hands. 

“Yes, our righteous cause prevailed, and we saved the star, but I find no peace in that knowledge. I find it only with him. Zenos was groomed for the purpose of destruction, just like I was. We merely served different masters. And now, we both find ourselves at the end of our tasks, with no instructions for our next move. Equally lost. Yes, he is impulsive, and aggressive, and arrogant, but the world isn’t ending anymore — there’s a tomorrow again. One where a man like him might grow and evolve. I have to give him the chance to see it.”

A stunned silence settled over the Scions. Alisaie’s brow knitted with astonishment; Y’shtola’s mouth fell into an ‘O’. The Warrior gritted their teeth, waiting for a wave of scolding, but it never came. Everyone’s faces softened, eyes glazed as if ruminating — everyone but Estinien. He hadn’t said a word in hours, but now the dragoon let out a low chuckle. A smirk graced his lips.

“Didn’t realize you had a thing for blondes,” Estinien said.

Thancred snorted, and with a series of eye rolls and giggles, the tension between the Scions loosened into something breathable. Somewhere deep in the Warrior’s chest, a knot came untied.

“Me, neither,” they replied, allowing themselves a half-smile.

Urianger stepped forward to lay a hand on their shoulder. “Tis plain to me that you have made up your mind,” he said gently. “And just as plain that you hold the prince dear to your heart.”

“Aye,” Y’shtola murmured. “I do not pretend to understand you, my friend, but… I can’t tell you who to love.”

The Warrior wiped their eyes with their sleeve, uttering a teary laugh. G’raha offered a handkerchief, then pulled them into an embrace.

“Whatever makes you happy,” he said, so honest that it made the Warrior cry harder.

Alphinaud smiled to himself, already making a mental checklist of all the ways he could coordinate the prince’s reparation efforts with the Ilsabard Contingent’s. If utilized correctly and led by the Warrior, he thought, Zenos might well be a boon to the reconstruction. In fairness, he didn’t have very many fans left in the area… but that was a bridge to cross later. Right now, all the Warrior should worry about was recovery. Theirs, and their love’s, too.

[starrysnowdrop]

Shared Soul: Hali’s Shards

So I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot, and I really want to eventually have a list of all the shards of Hali’s soul… ahh well, it would be the shards of Urania’s soul technically speaking. I don’t have a full list yet, but I have some that I’ve decided on already, and I wanted to share those with you now.

Note: Because of Hali’s canon story having multiple Warriors of Light, my headcanons for Hali’s shards greatly differ from those in the MSQ with the default WoL. Also, due to the ongoing storyline, these might change in the future with new developments.

Unsundered: Urania, Seat of Azem

Urania was Hali’s past self at the time of the Sundering; therefore, Hali and all of the other shards are pieces of Urania’s sundered soul.

Source: Hali Aloke, Warrior of Light, 8 times rejoined

Hali being the sundered soul of the Source, is the one that most closely resembles Urania, though she differs from her in several fundamental ways, most notably she will not deny herself the happiness that she desires in her life for the sake of duty like Urania as Azem had done. Unlike Urania, Hali has found her happiness in adventuring, helping others, and building a life together with Aymeric.

First: Lamitt, rejoined during ShB 5.0

Unlike the default WoL’s shard of the First being Ardbert, Hali’s shard is Lamitt, the healer of Ardbert’s group. Lamitt and Hali actually have a lot in common, with both being outsiders from their homelands, having a desire to help others through the healing arts, and they both are in love with men who have no idea what their true feelings are, well until Hali confesses to Aymeric that is. Lamitt never gets the chance to tell Ardbert. She does get to live on through rejoining with Hali at the end of 5.0, and Lamitt is thrilled that Hali gets to have her happiness with her lover.

Seventh: Aerith Gainsborough, rejoined in 7th Umbral Calamity (Bahamut)

Though Hali herself is unaware of any of her other shards that rejoined with her during each calamity, the most recent shard to rejoin with her before Lamitt was a young woman named Aerith who had lived on the Seventh and was rejoined during the Seventh Umbral Calamity. Aerith was a healer who brought joy to all who knew her. She was kind, caring, and sweet, yet feisty, passionate, brave, and strong-willed, all traits that her Source counterpart shares.

Tenth: Tidus, rejoined in 6th Umbral Calamity (Water)

The shard that rejoined back during the Sixth Umbral Calamity, centuries before Hali would be born, held the soul of a young man named Tidus who had lived on the Tenth. He was a famous Blitzball star, but most notably he was a guardian to Summoner Yuna who he had fallen in love with and was willing to give his life for. Same as his Source counterpart, he was kind, brave, outspoken, outgoing, and a bright ray of sunshine in a world in desperate need of joy and laughter.

Thirteenth: Durante, AKA: Golbez, alive

Durante is the shard of Urania’s soul on the Thirteenth who took on the name and armor of his dear friend Golbez after the original Golbez was corrupted by the darkness. Durante was a knight from Baron who tried to save the world during the Contramemoria along with Golbez, but he brought ruin to the world he tried to save instead. His unflinching resolve to save his world no matter the cost, but doubting himself that he could never be the hero that his friend was, are traits that Hali shares, and Durante is a reflection of what Hali could become if she went down a dark path.

Full List

Unsundered: Urania, Seat of Azem

Source: Hali Aloke, Warrior of Light, 8 times rejoined

First: Lamitt, rejoined during ShB 5.0

Second: ???, rejoined in 3rd Calamity (Fire)

Third: ???, rejoined in 4th Calamity (Earth)

Fourth: ???, status unknown

Fifth: ???, rejoined in 1st Calamity (Wind)

Sixth: ???, rejoined in 5th Calamity (Ice)

Seventh: Aerith Gainsborough, rejoined in 7th Calamity (Bahamut)

Eighth: ???, status unknown

Ninth: ???, status unknown

Tenth: Tidus, rejoined in 6th Calamity (Water)

Eleventh: ???, status unknown

Twelfth: ???, rejoined in 2nd Calamity (Lightning)

Thirteenth: Durante, AKA: Golbez, alive

Shards to add??: Sarah, Terra, Rinoa, Eiko, Serah, Joshua

That’s all I have for now! I’ll add to this list in the future when I decide to add more! Subject to change if we get more information on the other shards.

Published: 10/21/2024

[yamisnuffles]

nothing i can come up with right now has the subtle touch that makes all your aus so good, so you're gonna get what you're gonna get, and maybe i'll send another later lmao. so same question i just answered: what would an ascian or unsundered azem au look like?

Okay, so, for Ascian Azem to make sense for me, she would have to have in this universe gone along with the Zodiark plan because I still hold that they were to some extent tempered. Also, she would need to be Sundered still, to keep that time loop.

So, starting with that base:

She would be a bit broken before the Sundering even happened. It would break something in her to give up on finding another way. Doubly so when Hyth sacrifices himself. That said, I think Hyth telling her and Emet his plan is what would have swayed her in the first place. With Emet so adamant about the Zodiark plan and Hyth literally offering up his life to see it through, she could have in some universe decided she couldn't turn on both of them. It would very much destroy some part of her to do so, though.

When the Sundering happens, what bright, flaming light was left in her would be snuffed out. When she had her memories restored, she'd have instant, crushing regret that she hadn't tried to find another way. She'd be certain that things would have ended differently if she had (even though she'd be wrong there). This would result in her becoming withdrawn. Depressed. I think it would take a long time for her to snap out of that. Perhaps that's what leads to her death a few times with different shards.

Eventually it would be too much. To still have Emet but see him changed every time she's restored would crush her and she would see it as another failure on her part. It was already too late for Elidibus and she'd never been on the best terms with Lahabrea but if she'd pulled herself together sooner, maybe she could have at least kept Hades. So she would leave. Go her own way and hop from body to body as needed when one passed awa. Belatedly try to find a different plan.

She would spend a long time on her own. From time to time, Emet would try to get her back for personal reasons and Elidibus for the good of the plan, but she would rebuff both. That said, she wouldn't do anything to interfere with their plans for the Rejoining. She would still long for Zodiark's return and, with him, hopefully Hyth. Also, like Emet, I think she would be determined to hold onto her original, unsundered appearance.

Eventually, after thousands of lifetime's of failures, I think she'd go back to Emet's side. By this point, they'd have sort of swapped places in the relationship, with him the bringer of chaos and her the weary, hard working one. What finally snaps her out of all of this would be the modern day warrior of light. In Aubrey, she would see a mirror of much of who she had once been. Still so alive and full of so much fire and love despite everything, it would be enough for her to see hope. They would fight so that Azem could see if she actually had what it would take to overcome the Final Days when they returned. Upon defeat, with classic chaotic style, she would offer her soul up so that Aubrey could be empowered.

So there you have it. It would be complete with lots of tragic attempts by Emet for them to have what they once did (and for her to sometimes try as well). Lots of them regretting what the other had become and Emet convinced any shard he'd restored had just come back wrong. In the end, things would be about like canon, except that Emet would have an extra streak of "Why YOU" with Aubrey (as would Elidibus, but in a different flavor).

[motheatenscarf]

God we are a barely over a fucking week out from Dawntrail but all I want to holler about is my fuckin dumb accidental parallels that I made through making my WoL a Garlean defector and why YEAH, I KNOW, everyone ships their fuckin WoL with Emet-Selch, I KNOW, everyone knows the reasons why everyone ships it, but lemme scream about it anyway because I'm a big dumb idiot.

I've mentioned before that Talia was an ex-Garlean soldier who defected over having her faith in Garlemald and its false promises shattered. She grew up in the heart of the empire in a relatively well-off and marginally respected military family, tenuously upper class. She was protected from seeing a lot of the worst aspects of it and had a similar world-view to Gaius' where she actually believed in the supposed meritocracy and the initial goal of ridding the world of false gods to free the people from being enslaved to them. She missed the memo where the cruelty and the oppression and the caste system of exploitation were the point of a fascist empire, not an accidental byproduct of rapid expansion. She was involved with the Populares who wanted to fix the empire without tearing it down and her naivete got her twin sister killed. She vowed never to be a soldier again after that and fled the empire to become a wandering adventurer, helping people to try and atone for how wrong she'd been about everything and maybe seeking her death in doing so.

Cue the whole ARR storyline and she's given the chance to live out that idealism she had of ridding the world of Primals and risking her wretched life in the process- Win-win! But she has to hide who/what she is from these people, so she doesn't really connect with them, and they're certainly eager to send her into danger carelessly, risking her life on increasingly more petty conflicts when she is the ONLY PERSON who can kill primals, but fine, she'll do it. And then they start militarizing. And she starts getting that sinking feeling like it's all gonna turn out like Garlemald did, rapidly expanding with a grand ambition that'll only sour and turn to poison that drowns the whole world, and she promised on her sister's grave she would never be a soldier again. So she maybe projects some criticisms onto Minfilia similarly to how she projects onto Hydalen what she can't say to her own mother, since, y'know, Minfilia's right there to yell at while the Emperor is dead in the ground on the other side of the world.

Except that he isn't. So, 2 expansions happen and she becomes a Dark Knight and a Reaper to deal with her grief and rage respectively in losing the Scions (twice) and her sense of self as she becomes more fixated on annihilating Garlemald off the fucking map (one finger on the monkey's pawl curls down). Then Shadowbringers happens, and Talia is an ex-Garlean Dark Knight who walked out of Emet's newest empire because the universe keeps playing the same joke on him over and over apparently.

I did not mean for this to happen, it just happened, and I lost my fucking mind at the reveal that Azem was a defector from the Convocation and then literally had to take a walk to calm down at the reveal that yes, Emet was a Dark Knight. He probably founded the fucking discipline. And hey, Fray sure does take an "I only berate you because I want you to be safe and take care of yourself," attitude, and has those gold eyes, and hey, we know that Dark Knights are really rare, maybe this is the same stone that Emet made some ten thousand years ago that holds an echo of why he took up the blade in the first place. COOL.

Anyway, I dismissed the impulse to EmetWol at the time because like, yes, it's tragically compelling, but at the time didn't think Emet would stoop to settling for a shard and was still trying to decide how Talia would feel about everything that was happening. Decided she's a lot of things, but if she learned anything from Garlemald, it's how to admit when she's wrong. For all that she hated Solus zos Galvus, that is one of many facets to him, and the unbearable burden of Emet Selch was something that... kinda resonated with her. Learning more about the ancients, she understood why he did what he did. It was unconscionable and unforgivable, and she still didn't trust him because fool me once, but she didn't have it in her to hate him anymore.

During the Heavensward/Stormblood era, she'd kinda lost sight of herself when all the Scions were taken away. She hadn't been close with most of them to this point, but thought of Alphinaud and Alisaie as the children she'd never have. Finding Alphinaud's empty body left her with a thin, frail thread of sanity that she only clung onto for Alisaie's sake, and then Alisaie was taken right in front of her very eyes, powerless to save her, just like her sister, and Talia kinda lost it. Threw herself into the Ghimlt Dark with the plan to raze a path from Ala Mhigo to Garlemald, no room for survivors, no room for rubble, just blood and cinders, or die trying. All because she was alone, all because the people she loved had been taken from her. So yeah. She... unfortunately understood that better than she wanted to. Even without being tempered and

Tried to think about what a Talia who wasn't a silent protagonist would say to him and how they'd get along. Wasn't sure how Emet would react to a WoL who gives as good as they get in the "Condescending Sarcastic Supervillain" running commentary. Like, he barely seems to tolerate these people as is and has no patience for their questions, no way he's gonna put up with a WoL who will also complain about his bad attitude and make fun of his dumb hair and ask pointed questions about how poorly Garlemald is run and ask if that was his idiot plan, even if they're mostly joking.

AND THEN I GOT TO ENDWALKER. And like. Subject A.) Unburdened Ancient Emet Selch, he's still just. Like That.

Turns out him being exasperated and barely tolerating people is just his personality. That's him showing affection because if he didn't want to be around these people, he'd just leave. He just has to complain at all times or he'll die, that's completely understandable.

And then Subject B.) Hythlodaeus, beautiful ray of sunshine to everyone else but professional Emet wrangler who knows exactly how to give as good as the man dishes out and oh, hey, maybe that's actually why Hades likes him. Maybe it's reassuring to him when people aren't put off by what a miserable grouch he is and kvetch back at him and with him about everything. Waldorf needs his Statler and all that. Maybe it would actually be weirdly comforting to just have somebody to riff off of and actually, her beef with Solus' actions is refreshing because for once it's an incarnation whose issue isn't really about Hades or Emet-Selch. And maybe with the looming threat of her Death, Doom, Gonna Die, all throughout SHB, it's kind of a relief for there to be at least ONE person with whom she shares any kind of cultural touchstone or framework, even if they're both contemptuous of Garlemald and Garleans as a whole.

... oh no!

And then that percolated for like 4 months fretting over like, does this interpretation of the character fit in with canon, is this too self indulgent, how much am I gonna embrace the tragedy of it, there are so many ways to interpret Emet Selch

Cuz the last thing I want is for The Loud Idiot in any lit class to come to my inbox and tell me I missed the point because buh-buh, the text has one rigid interpretation and it's Strictly Mine, that's how art works, durr

and then I realized that imaginary idiot was basically the only thing holding me back, so. WHY NOT! Yes, it's embarrassing and stupid, but so is everything, fuck it, I don't care, WoLEmet be upon ye, more thoughts to follow in the days to come, i'm writing this on break from my D&D game

[cafe-melanion]

I am obsessed with the Unsundered world so much more than Eorzea and the actual game.

But what if instead of disappearing, dying, and becoming the WoL, Azem stayed behind as the guardian of Amaurot? Talia is still shattered along with the city but on every shard it's a ruin haunted by her as she tries to keep her city safe until the Rejoining. When Hades finds Amaurot on the First it's a much more joyous reunion than he thought possible and it's what spurs him on to stop cooperating with the Scions and instead fight them. When he's defeated the city itself holds onto his soul and carries him away to where Talia's soul is kept and they become the eternal protectors of what's left of their home, to come back in times of greatest need like an Arthurian legend because the Unsundered story is not yet finished.

[likemosaic]

headcanon ; chiyo's past shards. spoilers for shadowbringers and endwalker as well as mention of the plot of four lords. some canon divergences. personals please do not interact.

centuries ago: one of azem's shards upon another reflection, under another name, prayed with her last dying breath to free from her woes. hydaelyn heard her desperate plea and plucked chiyo's soul, to be placed upon the source.

chiyo began her reincarnation cycle then, her ultimate task to be the protector and guardian to the future warrior of light. over her lives, her soul is drawn always to the soul of the warrior of light (whomever that is, verse dependent), as the two shards long to merge but are unable to muster the strength to do so. she also frequently and heartily opposes one particular ascian, despite his many attempts to befriend her.

despite everything, she always retains the nature of her ancient self: the urge to travel and to protect the weak.

NOTABLE SHARDS.

🔥 tenzen. famed samurai and owner of the phoenix blade.

not much to say here, other than chiyo's fondness for the four lords, particularly suzaku.

tenzen had no children of his own and his line ended with him, perhaps intentionally. given his isolationist nature, he may have disliked his family and wanted to end their bloodline with himself.

he was introverted and enjoyed spending time with animals more than people. chiyo is also subconsciously drawn to animals, like futoi (her chocobo) and her many adorable dogs. they're less likely to judge you than a person, after all.

🔥 cossutia jen (and later, lux) pompeia. lucius yae galvus' mother and solus' long-term mistress.

unlike other shards, cossutia strongly resembled chiyo; blonde hair, green eyes. due to garlean nature, her skin was paler and she was taller, but the resemblance is otherwise uncanny.

was a talented medicus during the garlean empire's early founding. due to her noble blood and her beauty, was recalled from the field to serve the emperor's wife as a lady-in-waiting. cossutia resented this heavily and believed her talents were better served on the field of war, but acquiesced to the command.

eventually caught solus' eye due to her looks and wit (and truthfully, the color of her soul), and the two became involved. whether they actually cared for one another is a debated historical topic: some say lady pompeia was only using solus, and likewise, solus was using her. others claim they were in love but solus was too dedicated to his duty to truly be with her.

cossutia was responsible for many of the empire's kinder policies. she was also often blamed for failed policies, even ones she had no hand in, due to her blunt, frank nature. she often sat in on council meetings and gave her opinion, wanted or not. she was a skilled dancer, singer, and enjoyed political debate as well as debate on philosophy, the nature of man, etc. though she was disliked by most as a political figure, on a personal level, cossutia was undeniably a force of nature and was often pursued for marriage by other garlean power players.

though it was entirely possible for solus to set his wife aside and marry cossutia instead, he never did, for reasons historians speculate on. cossutia instead remained in a comfortable position in the garlean court, a splinter in the side of those who supported the empress. cossutia's opinions on her place at court were never documented, though she was prone to leave frequently in order to serve in the army. she was eventually promoted from jen to lux, and became a head medicus. though she was offered a more militaristic position, she always refused it.

cossutia eventually gave birth to their son, lucius. despite the fact that cossutia was a doctor and a health nut during her pregnancy, her son was born sickly. in spite of his poor health, solus legitimized lucius shortly after his birth, against the advice of his advisors and to the displeasure of the general populace. lucius then superceded his legitimate brother in the line of succession, titus. lucius spent the rest of his days marked as a bastard and a cripple, but was relentlessly positive and beloved by his parents. in verses with @windcovet, lucius is a shard of j'tanga khilim (which is why chiyo is naturally maternalistic towards her).

the most remarkable note about cossutia comes many years later. long after lucius had reached adulthood and married/had a son of his own, it's said that cossutia and the emperor had a particularly violent disagreement. cossutia fled the court and garlemald entire, never to be seen again. lucius died of his illnesses not long after. with the loss of his preferred son and his mistress, solus' policies tended toward the extreme once more.

what caused cossutia to abandon her comfortable place at the emperor's side (and her son) is unknown to historians. most speculate that she planned to return after a fashion, but died in the wilderness. others say she absconded to the south with a lover. the truth has been lost to time. unfortunately, in cossutia's absence, her equal opportunity policies for women fell to the wayside, and the women of garlemald suffered for it.

[azems-familiar]

WoL Thonkers: 6, 7, 14.

6. Who was their Azem? What were they like, and were they different from your WoL? Who were their family, friends? Or, if you don't care for the Azem angle or went in your own direction for their past self, how so? How does your WoL feel about their Ancient identity?

oh man you're asking me theeeee long questions. let's goo

Lelesu's ancient was named Seleukos. you've seen some art of them but if you want to peruse things i tag them the same way i tag her so it should be easy enough to search for. they have two moms, who i haven't yet named - one owns and runs a bakery, and yes, absolutely loves experimenting with new flavors and fillings and things, and one works as a secretary in the Capitol, though i haven't decided which Seat she's affiliated with. they had a pretty good relationship with their parents growing up, and were also close to Helios's parents (though less so with his dad, who was a keywarden in Pandaemonium before an accident there killed him). their absolute best friend is of course Helios, who they're only three months younger than, as well as neighbors with, so the two of them grew up together and basically did everything together as kids since their parents know each other pretty well. Seleukos also has some casual friendships with other kids they grew up around and some of the people they were students with in the Akadaemia Anyder.

obviously, their closest relationships however are with Helios, Hythlodaeus, and Hades - Helios is their best friend and other half, Hythlodaeus is their life partner, and Hades is a wibbly-wobbly nonromantic partner and close friend. they are also good friends with Venat (who was their first mentor), Pashtarot (their second mentor, and Halone (they work together), as well as Themis!

Seleukos is only Azem sometimes, depending on the verse we're in. when they aren't Azem, they work as a traveling judge, and are Pashtarot's confirmed successor, but have not ascended as of the Final Days. no i have not come up with Pashtarot's mask or anything because....yeah. we'll get there eventually.

as for how they're like Lelesu - the two of them are actually pretty similar in many ways. they have a lot of the same personality, similar morals and ideals, and similar fighting styles, though Seleukos relies more on magic than Lelesu does. with all her memories of the past regained as of post-endwalker, Lelesu considers herself a sort of natural extension of Seleukos - not the same person, since they were raised in very different times, but close enough as to not matter terribly much. she takes the legacy she inherited from them very seriously!

originally it was definitely complicated but honestly the reveal that the reason all these confusing feelings she was having about Amaurot and Emet-Selch and Hyth's shade were because of a past identity really did end up being a relief, because it was an explanation.

i could go more into this but. this is probably enough for this post.

7. Have they gone through any physical changes? What scars have they collected, and how do they feel about them? Did they sprout horns or other features as a result of spells or pacts gone wrong? How did light corruption impact them? Or have they walked away miraculously unscathed? Are they more peculiar for how eerily unmarred they are?

yes! though not as many as other wols i know. Lelesu obviously gets some minor scarring and things just from a very active combat life, but three of them are important: the first is a long scar down her torso from Zenos in Rhalgr's Reach, where he left her badly enough injured she had to return to Ishgard for several days of recovery. the second is a thin scar across her cheek and lip that Elidibus-as-Zenos gave her in Ghimlyt Dark when she collapsed. the third is probably the biggest one - when she and Corrain fought Zenos again on Ultima Thule, Zenos shatters her glasses and drives shards into her right eye, scarring the skin around it and blinding her. while the chirurgeons and the fast actions of the Scions saved her eye itself, it's gone totally silver from scar tissue.

she does also have some changes from the Light corruption! previously, her hair was black, and she dyed parts of it a pale green, because she thought it looked neat. after the Light cracked her soul, though, parts of her hair bleached pure white, a white that not only continues to grow in but that can't be dyed over. only a few people know the truth of it and that it isn't just a new color trend for her, and she likes to keep it that way, even though she no longer struggles so much with the changes. they were an uncomfortable reminder when she first got them.

she isn't too terribly upset with the scars, thankfully, but she was worried after Ultima Thule that Aymeric would no longer find her pretty - something he quickly reassured her about.

14. Do you have any headcanons for what happened post-Ultima Thule? What kind of injuries did they suffer, or did they walk it off like a boss? Did they take a lengthy vacation, did you shove a time skip in there before 6.1 hit? Or was it quickly off to the next adventure?

oh boy do i! in fact a whole outline section of them! the tldr version is that there are two years between Ultima Thule and taking the boat to dawntrail. during that two years we fit the void arc, pandaemonium, and myths of the realm, as well as Lelesu having her daughter Ismene. she also takes a month or so to recover from the injuries she sustained on Ultima Thule (addressed in the above question), and needs time to rebuild her strength. while she's recovering, she learns pld and adds it and her new weapons to her arsenal.

6.1 begins 3 months after Ultima Thule. both it and 6.2 happen first, and then Lelesu goes back in time while Corrain is still recovering and does p1-p8, working with Themis, Lahabrea, and Erichthonios. the Garlemald/reaper part (this is 6.3 iirc) happens once she comes back to the present, then p9-p12, then the rest of the trips to the Thirteenth and fights and things. all of this together takes about 9 months, meaning that it all settles down again about a year after Ultima Thule. Lelesu spends the next 6 months helping recovered ancients (Emet, Hyth, a resurrected Elidibus and Lahabrea, and a few of the remaining Ascians whom Emet was able to hunt down and cure of tempering) work on plans to build a "New Amaurot" and teach about their history and culture; she gets married to Aymeric and gets involved with our version of myths of the realm here. Corrain is finally able to walk around again, albeit with crutches/cane. ~6 months prior to dt, Lelesu gets stuck on light activity/etc when she finds out she's pregnant, and there's a decent gap of time here where everyone mostly just rests, recovers, maybe travels a little, and things settle down.

Wuk Lamat shows up to ask about the succession rite when Ismene is a month old!

[feralkwe]

1, 2, and 11 for Kit. I won't say, "and the cat" because I'm nice. So Kit and whoever. One person. All people. Have at it.

fine. FINE. i'll play your game. i'll take these one by one and see what comes out of my brain. i only have myself to blame. no actually, fuck square enix for my misery.

under a cut because length and well, i'm ridiculous.

1. what, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? in other words, what in particular had them like “oh, they’re...hot...”

kit made an early investment in urianger. i still to this moment do not know what the initial click moment was, and i'd have to ng+ to find out probably. all i know is that she looked at this:

and said 'yes, i'll have all of that, please.' i've not known peace since.

so she was in on the ground floor. by the time we got to:

she was already locked and loaded.

n.b.: i realize you do not need visual references, but i never waste a chance to make this point.

every successive attraction she's had since was found in a moment of said target's vulnerability. urianger she picked through active attraction and then reaped the benefits while everyone else's jaws were dropping.

also apparently 'tried to kill or get me killed' is a factor.

(i dodged a lot there, go me!)

2. does this change over time? what things do they find “hot” about their partner after they’ve been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate?

it did with thancred! by the time he nakedly (lol) confessed his feelings, she'd just not thought about him that way. never really looked at him in that light at all. it threw her in almost every way because until he showed up at her door mirroring her own grief and fears, she had no idea he thought of her like that. that was when she looked back on their relationship and realized, yeah, she was into it.

i fear that she and thancred are attracted to some similarities between themselves, for good or for ill. they complement one another in many ways, and contrast hard in others. it makes it fun to write, but frustrating at times to watch.

(one more bullet dodged)

11. what fears, past traumas, etc. would be hardest for them to talk about with their partner?

it's pretty well established in my canon for kit that thancred and urianger, despite their efforts, do not understand the complications that come with being with the warrior of light. the way the past hangs over her like a physical presence, what it means to be a partially rejoined whole of shards, how that is not always going to be easy to love, how they are just going to have to learn to keep up if they want to be with her, even when she pivots abruptly. that doesn't mean they have to take her mistakes and brush past them, but i think they--thancred more than urianger--lack the ability to let go of some biases that really make this kind of talking difficult. for kit, the past is trauma. she's managed to bully through almost everything in the present with barely a missed stride, but the past, whether azem's life or her own trips to it, have crushed her in a way they are ill-equipped to deal with.

she has friends she can open up to about it (like i'm sure estinien and y'shtola would be great people for this), but she wants and needs it from her partner(s). none of them are there yet.

maybe fresh eyes on the matter would help. some perspective spectacles, maybe. maybe it would make it worse. who's to say? not me in this ask apparently lol.

if anyone wants more detail i guess they'll have to ask. lol.

here's the game if anyone wants to play.

[starstrider]

10, 20, 28? the ganmachine

10. How do they feel about their relationship with Hydaelin? Midgarsormr?

Oh man you don't know what you're getting yourself into because there is. Heaps of heaps of lore that I just come up with genuinely sorry if it's too much

Like "5 google doc pages big" SPEAKING OF WHICH if reading this stuff in Google here's the LINK:

Ohhhghghghh both of my WoLs have an insanely complicated relationship with Hydaelyn that becomes way better in Endwalker.

But beginning is beginning and like.

Gan comes from a fucked up tribe of Black Mages and masters of Dark Arts where their khatun Lena is basically a Mhach mage that escaped the Void Ark tragedy by teleportation magic and time travel shenanigans (she attempted to travel between shards, but got stuck in a space in-between and when she came back to the Source a couple hundred years already passed and Void Ark was nowhere to be seen).

So she assimilated herself into a xaela woman and either coerced or forced talented mages to join her emo band newfounded tribe.

And she shaped the tribe to be extremely hostile to anything resembling magic of Light because of course she, the Mhachi mage, would. She was maintaining her immortal rule by possessing the bodies of children of her close Archmage circle and using advanced dark arts.

Then Lena, to her surprise, secretly and genuinely fell in love with Just A Guy and Gan was born.

Lena was arrogant and a little bit stupid, so she was pumping herself with Black Aether. The plan was to basically use her own child this time to prolong her immortality. And only because Hydaelyn gave Gan the blessing, Gan didn't turn into a voidsent and didn't do the 1979 Alien Chestburster on her mother.

So Lena got the baby, but the baby had a very high attunity to Light aether, which would make for a poor host.

So she decided to be world's first immortal deadbeat mother and just left Gan to her lover and left him on read.

That being said, rumors still spread that Gan was a potential bastard child and a Light-blessed idiot which made her ostracized in already pretty hostile clan.

So when Gan came to Eorzea and realized she's light-blessed and by someone else's God to boot she was PISSED (only the khatun and voidsent held status of deities in the Magan tribe). She used it because being a Warrior of Light gave her purpose and an easy way to be accepted in a land completely foreign to her + get more privileged position than she was in and not be shunned anymore (in Gan's head pretty much if you're Cream of the Crop then you're safe from harrassment because of harsh hierarchy of her tribe).

I think Gan accepted Light as also part of themselves long before they met Venat, but a lot of it was them unlearning self-hatred and learning to accept themselves. And meeting Venat didn't turn their world upside-down, but it pretty much cemented in the fact that “Yeah it's not bad that I'm like this. I am good as I am”.

Have a bonus sketch of Gan’s parents, I guess. The guy on the right is way sweeter than he actually looks and he’s never treated Gan with anything but kindness, care and patience.

Regarding Midgarsormr... Well there's like a huge chunk of Gan Azem lore that Tumblr specifically missed and I have to preface it with whatever I'm about to say.

Gan and Alma's predecessors, Phobos and Anteros, were two halves of one planet-eating creature, Jörmungandr, initially, until Venat met them and made a sort of prototype sundering so Jormie could experience being human and forget the emotions of the planets it consumed: grief, pain, unfulfilled dreams and joy and so on and so forth. Jörmungandr wasn't a dragon, it was just some messed up snake creature that was floating in space until it stumbled upon Etheirys, attempted to eat it and Venat through conversation invoked personality that the creature was repressing this entire time because it had like no one else to show it to? So it never really mattered to it.

WIP concept of Jormie that I did.

Jörmungandr shapeshifting to be able to communicate with Venat (took them around a month to achieve this form).

And I think the fact that Gan immediately took a great liking to dragons and peepaw Midgarsormr  both stems from the fact that she was, for the longest time, just like they are, the outsider. Someone who people didn't want to do anything with and had reservations about.

But also I feel like apart from that it's very much the fact that parts of Jörmungandr 's experience still dwells within Gan and there's this subconscious feeling that Gan wouldn't know about for a LONG time until like post-Endwalker that's basically ”Oh. Hey. We're both space travelers and aliens to this place. We should stick together“ and so on and so forth. Like a magnetic pull sort of feel.

And honestly considering Gan's initially complicated stance on Hydaelyn they were kind of happy that Midgarsormr stripped them of their blessing for some time. They were more than eager to prove themselves worthy in spite of it, because their self-esteem hinged on it greatly.

Now they're chilling.

20. Of all the places they've been to, which is their favorite? Do they like to go back there?

ISHGARDDDD BABYYYYYY IT'S ALWAYS ZENITH IT'S ALWAYS FORTEMPS MANOR YOU KNOW IT those are the first places where Gan truly felt accepted and at home.

28. Were they suspicious or open to Emet-Selch's presence when he first appeared?

Oh you fucking bet they didn't like Emet but since Gan is very reserved they didn't say anything outright malicious to him while still holding the grip on their rapier. But I think hostilities escalated in-between them over the story and after Gan found out that Phobos, their Azem self, used to be his apprentice and used to be very much miserable. It was like. ”You miserable fucking asshole, it seems by some sort of twisted karma I'm stuck with people who don't know how to be normal parents“. It never truly becomes sunshine and rainbows between them for obvious reasons, but Gan does give him the satisfaction in Endwalker of forgiving him on behalf of Phobos.