#like she is still a bitch! she doesn't stop being a bitch!! but it's an emo bitch now!!! how delightful!!!!

[alllgator-blood]

Man people gotta have bees in their brain or didn't play the game, Heket really cares about her family. She made me regret killing Leshy, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS YOUNGEST UNTIL NARINDERE THATS SJAKSIHDKD SORRY *sobing*

Also what song is your favorite from the hymns of the unholy album? For me it's between CHAOS and FAMMINE

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE GAME TBH I FELT SO BAD RIPPING THE FAMILY APART THE FIRST TIME. I LOVE FEELING BAD FOR ANTAGONISTS!! I PLAYED IT AROUND WHEN IT CAME OUT SO I COULDN'T EVEN REUNITE THEM IN MY FIRST CULT, THEY WERE JUST DYING IN PURGATORY FOREVER. My unholy alliance update cult is called "nepotism" where all the regular cultists live in sleeping bags, get shitty food and have to work all day while the special characters + bishops have all the good shit and just hang out drinking all day LMAO

As for the album, I still can't pick which one is my fave, it's tied between three tracks....I forgot to do my tier list I mentioned, so I'm gonna write my thoughts beneath the cut. I'm glad you mentioned famine specifically because I feel like that one is kinda slept on tbh!!! TL;DR is that heket + shamura + narinder's songs are tied for my favorites for varying reasons

In terms of what song I think should be people's introduction to the album/the most easily digestible one, definitely cult. 100% it's the one that I showed my friend + sister and they thought it sounded the best on the first listen. It's faithful to the original motif and the writing is solid. I could NOT stop listening to it when it dropped, and was so excited to hear that the one with the music video wasn't even the full version so we got more of it when the album dropped....

Chaos is the one that makes me smile when I hear it, because it's SOOO leshy. Like of COURSE his song would sound like that, with the solo at the end and him namedropping himself and saying "my horns are covered by something like fallen leaves" like he doesn't even know his own anatomy. That's SO funny, I didn't like it at first but it 100% grew on me and I love it now

Famine has the best moment out of any of the songs imo, the "make your peace, creature" part goes harder than any other single moment in the album. I feel like she was maybe done the most justice lyrically, that song has the best combination of original lyrics and lines from the game. I actually wish the other tracks were written more like hers, but maybe the fact that hers was so different is what makes me love it so much.

Pestilence is the weakest track for me personally, but I had the biggest reaction to it for the first verses alone where they immediately just use the lines where kall is being a little bitch and begging for mercy. That's the one I wish I could listen to for the first time again, it also gets stuck in my head way more often than the others for some reason

Conquest instrumentally is my favorite by far, but I'm biased cause shamura's theme song is already my favorite boss track. I already talked about why I love this one in the other post so I'll move onto the next one-

Death has the best progression by far, like it's IMPOSSIBLE not to imagine an amv while listening to it. Also the very very end where it gets really fast goes BALLISTIC and is the second-best moment of the entire album. Honestly I wasn't disappointed at any aspect of this song, I don't think I have any complaints it's 100% hype tbh

I'm very glad you sent this ask in because I wouldn't have gotten a chance otherwise to talk about this album, I'm SO feral over it and the only other music I've listened to since it came out was the new king gizzard song that just dropped (they're my favorite band and that's the only thing that could pry me from cheesy cotl metal)

[megalony]

Don't Let Me Go

This is a new Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by anon. Thank you for this idea I absolutely loved writing it I had so much fun and I hope you will all like it.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Eddie have just had their first baby together, but (Y/n) doesn't know what to do when she starts to feel low. And she doesn't feel like she can look after the kids on her own.

(Descriptions of post-partum depression)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) tilted her head forward and tried to stop herself from bursting out into tears. She shifted her heavy, weighted arms up a little while her head bent forward so her lips were meshing against her newborn's head.

The little girl was finally quiet, but to (Y/n), it felt like those cries were still swirling around in her head on full pelt. All she could hear was Lilah's incessant crying that tortured her all day long when Eddie was at work.

All night, (Y/n) had been up and down, up and down. She fed her, she rocked her when she wouldn't settle, she tried cuddling her but it didn't do much good. Lilah kept snivelling and whimpering like (Y/n) was a big bad monster. In the end, (Y/n) just went to sleep and kept her baby on her chest to whimper as much as she liked.

It must have worked because when she woke up a few hours later, Lilah was asleep and Eddie's hand was resting on the newborn's back.

She took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down and focused her eyes on Lilah so she didn't have to look around her. Her hand cradled the back of her head and she cuddled her closer, wishing they could both curl up and disappear.

"We can go home soon."

It wasn't as if they had been out all day. (Y/n) didn't have the strength or the energy for that. She had barely gotten from the bedroom into the living room. Then (Y/n) had burst into tears when she got comfy on the sofa and Lilah woke up crying for her bottle. Trekking into the kitchen and physically making a bottle had stolen every ounce of (Y/n)'s energy.

She wished Eddie was home.

(Y/n) knew it would be hard when Eddie went back to work after having two weeks at home with her and the kids. She just didn't realise how hard it was going to feel, being at home with Chris and Lilah without Eddie there as that extra support.

It would be alright if (Y/n) didn't feel like this. If she didn't feel so sluggish and broken. When Eddie was home it felt better. (Y/n) could ask him to hold Lilah or feed her so she could take a nap and he didn't bat an eyelid. She could move slowly about the house or just sit down with the kids and he didn't fuss. He took Chris to school and took Lilah for a walk to pick him up which gave (Y/n) a little while to herself.

Not anymore.

It had taken everything within (Y/n)- and a broken sob- to get herself up, put on her shoes and trudge out to the car. Driving had felt so frightening to (Y/n) because she could barely concentrate on whether the lights were green or red.

There was no possible way she could of left any earlier and walked Lilah to pick Chris up like Eddie sometimes did. (Y/n) had no willpower to move, she couldn't make it all the way there and back. It was either drive or try and call someone to bring Chris home, and (Y/n) couldn't call anyone and have them know that she felt so useless that she couldn't pick him up herself.

She burrowed herself further into Lilah whose little legs were wriggling and bashing into (Y/n)'s stomach every now and then. All (Y/n) wanted was for Lilah to settle down and go to sleep so that when they got home, (Y/n) could sleep too.

Whenever Lilah went to sleep these last few days without Eddie, (Y/n) had slept too. It was all she seemed to want to do. It was the only thing (Y/n) could do right.

She darted her eyes up and looked around the other parents waiting outside the school gates. (Y/n) was stood three feet from the car. It was a strategy. Standing this close to the car meant she didn't have to move far, Chris could still see her, and most importantly, no one would approach.

Everyone else was stood closer to the gates, all in their little coven circles, nattering away to each other. (Y/n) didn't want to be a part of that. She couldn't. She could barely string a sentence together and if the other parents started talking to her, they would see how useless of a mother she was turning out to be.

Lilah was (Y/n)'s first baby. When she married Eddie, she adopted Chris- something he had asked her to do himself- and it was the best thing in the world. Finding out she was pregnant a few months after their wedding was even better. They wanted kids, God (Y/n) wanted a baby of her own.

The other parents she knew from Chris's school had all been lovely, congratulating them, asking about the baby. They had all seen Lilah when Eddie came down to pick Chris up during those two weeks he was off.

Having Lilah was like a dream, but (Y/n) felt like she had changed personas somewhere along the line. She came home from the hospital and seemed to slump. She wanted to sit down, she had no will power to move. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton all the time, she was constantly fighting migraines.

And she didn't have low moods, she had no mood at all. Like she was on a factory setting, not happy, not frustrated or angry or sad, just… blank.

Having Eddie home made her feel better. He was a natural with the kids, with Lilah, and when he wrapped his arms around (Y/n), she felt soothed and relaxed and like her migraine was disappearing. But he had gone to work, and as soon as he left for that first day, (Y/n) broke down in tears.

She felt like she had been abandoned.

At some point, (Y/n) was frightened she was going to turn into some little puppy, crying by the front door from the moment Eddie walked out until the moment he came back home after work.

That thought frightened her like nothing else.

Relief swarmed in her eyes when she watched the kids start to flood out the gates towards them. As soon as Chris was with her, she could go back home. (Y/n) had been out the house for too long, she wanted to be back inside where she was safe and isolated and away from prying eyes.

"Mum!" Chris wriggled one arm out of his crutch when he reached her and glued himself into (Y/n)'s side, smothering his face in her stomach as he grinned. The touch made (Y/n) want to burst into tears and smile brighter than the sun at the same time, but she couldn't seem to do either.

He sounded so happy to see her, although she didn't know why. Why would anyone be happy to see her? She hadn't done anything of significance, she wasn't even being a proper mum right now. She felt useless.

"Hi, good day?" Her voice was on the verge of cracking when she lowered Lilah in her arms so she could lean down and kiss Chris's curls. She had to make some sort of effort with him.

She couldn't help but wonder what Chris had been like as a baby. She wondered if Shannon had ever struggled to get him settled and if he was a fussy baby. She wondered if Chris had been as glued to Eddie as their daughter now was, but then again, (Y/n) wasn't sure because Eddie had been in the army. He was away a lot so it would of been natural for Chris to cling to Shannon, not him.

Whereas Eddie was around now. He had been here for all of (Y/n)'s pregnancy, not just the birth and he spent the first two weeks barely putting Lilah down. Going back to work didn't change how infatuated Eddie was with Lilah and she always settled for him straight away.

It was overwhelming to have Chris attached to (Y/n) considering Lilah seemed to want Eddie more. She had made up her mind that her dad was better, but (Y/n) knew she could count on Chris to want and love her. He never got upset and demanded to have Eddie instead.

"It was fun," He reached his hand up and gently brushed his fingers up and down Lilah's back who wasn't crying or whimpering anymore, just fidgeting.

When (Y/n) nodded towards the car, Chris beamed and hurried to open the back door for (Y/n) since she had Lilah in her arms. He put his crutches and bag in the back and climbed in the front seat.

(Y/n) was glad to set Lilah down. It felt nice to cuddle her, but it was effort. Picking her up and soothing her was so much time and effort that (Y/n) physically couldn't seem to find at the moment. She hoped the car ride would put her right to sleep and that she wouldn't wake until Eddie came home.

Did that make her selfish?

"Let's go home." Her voice was quiet and she wasn't sure Chris even heard her, but it didn't really matter.

When she climbed in the car, all (Y/n) wanted to do was curl up and close her eyes, but she was the adult here. She was the one in charge. She nodded when Chris pointed to the radio. That was a good idea. (Y/n) couldn't afford to have no background noise because if there were no distractions, what would stop her from falling asleep right now?

"Not too loud," She murmured and ran her hand up and down her aching temple before she put the car in gear. The sooner they left the sooner they could get back home.

She didn't want the music loud. Usually she, Chris and Eddie would always have it loud and they would sing and blast out their favourite songs. But (Y/n) couldn't handle the noise. Background noise to keep her awake was fine, but loud noise to thunder along with her headache would only make her cry. And it would disturb Lilah which she couldn't afford when she couldn't settle her again; not yet.

Chris sat forward and began bopping along to the music, looking out the window like he was in a world of his own. Every now and then he looked over at (Y/n) and those chocolate eyes pulled at something in her chest. She didn't feel like talking, but he might.

"T- tell me about your day." It hurt to force herself to speak when all she wanted to do was go mute.

What she wanted was to disappear from the world.

But she didn't want to make Chris aware of that or make him feel bad, and the way he smiled and started to babble in a similar manner to his uncle Buck when he was excited made (Y/n)'s heavy heart lift just a little.

(Y/n) could feel tears burning in her eyes when they finally pulled up at home. All she wanted was get Lilah and curl up in bed with her. (Y/n) wanted to go to sleep and wake up with Eddie at home, there to sort everything out and make everyone feel a hundred times better.

"…mum?"

"Hm?" She bit down on her lip when she moved her hand to her temple and realised her hands were trembling.

Her shaking fingers scoured against her temple, pressing and rubbing circles into her skin to no avail. It did nothing to rid her of the thunder inside her head; the tormenting weather that no one else could see or feel. The pain that was growing and becoming agitating to the point (Y/n) was ready to lie in bed and never get up until her headache relented.

She looked over at Chris who was smiling as he flung his belt off, ready to get out the car.

"Can we watch a movie?"

She guessed by his tone that he had already asked her that and she hadn't heard him. Thank God. Thank God he was asking her that and not asking if they could do a puzzle or build another Lego creation or play a game. (Y/n) didn't have that much strength within her. But a movie, she could do.

"A movie in bed?" She loved the way Chris nodded and bolted from the car as if it were a race. (Y/n) might beat him to the bed if it was a race.

She could do that. She could get out the car, get Lilah, trudge through the house and collapse in bed with the kids. They had a crib attached to the side of the bed so keep Lilah close at night, and it was a godsend. It was originally so they didn't have to get up and go into the nursery five or six times a night to settle her or change and feed her. Having her in their room was so much easier.

But having the crib attached to the bed was better for (Y/n) when she felt like this. If Lilah whimpered, all she had to do was reach her hand across and her baby was there. She didn't physically have to get out of bed to pick her up and lay with her, only to go and make the bottles.

Right now, all (Y/n) had to do was prompt herself and plan out the route of getting from the car to the bed.

She could do that.

***

Running his hands up and down his face, Eddie tried to ward off the tiredness in his eyes as he stifled a yawn. His bare feet padded along the laminate hallway and his hands switched to scratch along the back of his neck. He felt like going to bed. He'd made the wrong decision of catching two hours of sleep on a night shift at the station last night and it had made him lethargic all day. He should have powered through instead.

He could hear the tv blaring with the movie Chris was happily watching before going to bed and Eddie prayed both kids would manage to sleep so he could have a bit of time with (Y/n) before the pair of them conked out asleep too.

He peered into the nursery since the door was partially open, but the room was empty. He continued down the hall and padded into his and (Y/n)'s room, but again came up empty. The light was on, the curtains were drawn and a pile of clothes were placed on the end of the bed. She had to be in the bathroom.

Eddie changed course and shuffled from the bedroom across to the bathroom. He lightly rapped his knuckles on the door and headed inside with a gentle smile lighting up his face when he looked towards the bath.

For a moment he thought (Y/n) was asleep. She was slouched down in the bath, her head barely resting on the edge of the tub and her knees were slightly bent, just scraping the surface of the water.

She had her eyes closed and her chin and lips submerged in the water, causing soft ripples to break out through the water with every breath she took. And her hands were tightly bound on Lilah's sides, keeping the newborn propped up against her knees and sat on her abdomen.

The sight made Eddie's heart explode in his chest and a surge of warmth spread through his blood. Although he was the tiniest bit unsure because of how relaxed (Y/n) seemed; the thought of her falling asleep in the bath with Lilah in her arms was daunting, even if it was far-fetched.

"Hey, there are my girls."

His voice was quiet and he used the edge of the bath so he could kneel down on the bathmat. His arms folded on the edge of the bath and he leaned his chin on his arms while his eyes looked over his wife.

He watched the way (Y/n) blearily blinked and turned her head in his direction, and the foggy look in her eyes told him she was even more tired than he thought when he came home. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, but Eddie was sure that wasn't the case.

Her eyes almost looked vacant, there was something distant in them that made Eddie feel like they were standing hundreds of miles apart rather than being less than a foot away like this.

The little hum (Y/n) let out made Eddie smile and (Y/n) slowly drifted her eyes from Eddie over to Lilah before locking back on him again.

All she wanted to do was disappear under the water and see if it would make her feel any better. To see if it would make her feel something, anything, other than dull and tired. She was almost numb. The hot water had relaxed her, but now (Y/n) felt like she was too relaxed, like she was about to slip into an abyss and never wake up again. And she didn't want to take Lilah with her into a dark abyss like that.

"Want me to take her? You look like you're about to fall asleep in here."

Eddie reached one hand out so he could brush Lilah's cheek. He was surprised the newborn was so settled and calm in here, she too looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. The water must be comforting to her.

It took everything within (Y/n) to stop herself from falling asleep in here. She knew she couldn't. A lapse in focus for even a second could cause her to loosen her grip on Lilah and have her baby sliding under the water. (Y/n) couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't.

Deep down she knew she should have tried to settle Lilah before she came in the bath. At least then, if (Y/n) wanted to sleep or let herself submerge under water for a while, she wouldn't have to focus on keeping her baby safe. But she couldn't ask Eddie to take her when he had been with her most of the morning, it wouldn't be fair.

And for once, Lilah hadn't been crying when (Y/n) had fed her and cuddled her. It felt too good of a moment to let go, if Lilah was settled for her (Y/n) wanted the moment to last.

(Y/n) wanted to agree, she wanted to let Eddie take Lilah, but she couldn't. She was the mother. She had barely done anything today, she had to at least try and act the part even if she didn't feel it right now.

She tried to speak, to form a sentence and actually talk, but she could barely get one word out.

"Headache." Her eyes looked up to her temple before she closed them and sank back down in the water.

"Again?" A spark of worry ignited in Eddie's voice as he leaned his cheek on his left arm so he could move his right hand out towards (Y/n). His knuckles brushed against her cheek and his thumb swiped beneath her eye just as (Y/n) leaned her head into his touch. She pressed her warm, sodden lips into the back of his hand, wishing they could just stay like this forever.

The lack of response gave Eddie his answer and he sighed as he leaned up so his chest was pressing into the edge of the bath. He moved his hand to nudge beneath (Y/n)'s chin and tilted her head up enough so that he could steal a kiss.

It was strange to feel her lips so warm like this and the constant trickling of water running down the bridge of her nose and dampening both their lips made Eddie's nerves ignite. Their noses brushed and when he looked back into her eyes, his heart was struck when he thought she was about to cry.

His hand stayed cradling her face for a few seconds before he reached out and swiped a towel from the rail.

"Let me take her, and I'll grab you some painkillers."

(Y/n) nodded, barely having the energy to lean up for another kiss, but she tried. She felt his lips move to peck her cheek, then her neck and her eyes closed again to relish in the touch that seemed to linger on her skin and take her mind off the tears threatening to spill over.

She felt oddly empty when Eddie carefully eased Lilah from her arms and wrapped her up in a towel.

He cradled their girl against his chest, meshing his lips with the top of her head while he hummed and slowly got to his feet. But his eyes continued to find their way back to (Y/n). He didn't want to leave her, something was drawing him back like she was upset or in need of something, but he wasn't sure what. His hand smoothed up and down Lilah's back as he headed out the bathroom and into the nursery to get her changed. He would get a drink and some painkillers for (Y/n) so she would feel better when she got out the bath.

(Y/n) felt like going back to sleep. She felt like letting herself slump under the water and seeing what would happen, but she didn't. She couldn't.

She had to get out the bath now before she lost the little energy she had left. The energy she had reserved ready to will herself to get out the bath with Lilah.

If she didn't move now, (Y/n) knew she would lay here until the water went cold and then after that too. She would stay here until Eddie came looking for her again and she would panic him if she just went to sleep here. It didn't matter that she wanted to stay submerged in the water where she could escape. It didn't matter that getting out the bath and getting into pyjamas actually took effort.

Nothing mattered anymore.

The moment she was out the bath, tears began to trickle down her face as she slumped onto her knees on the bathmat in Eddie's vacant place and dragged a towel around her shivering frame. It wasn't cold. She didn't know why she was shaking like she was when she couldn't be, not after being in the hot water for half an hour or longer.

She was glad she had left her hair tied up. Washing her hair was such an effort and (Y/n) couldn't be bothered with it recently. Dry shampoo had become her best friend. Washing her hair involved effort, it was time consuming and the act of then having to dry her hair was even worse. (Y/n) didn't have the effort, and she hated walking around with wet hair.

She bowed her head and tightened her arms around her frame, letting the towel soak the remnants of water from her skin rather than actually drying herself. This was simpler. This was easier.

Everything drained from her head once she pushed up onto unsteady feet and secured the towel around her frame. She usually brought her clothes into the bathroom and got changed in here. She wasn't sure why she forgot her clothes.

A shuddering breath left her lips when she walked into the bedroom and noticed Lilah was already in her cot attached to the side of the bed. She wasn't asleep, but she was on her way. How long had (Y/n) been in the bathroom willing herself to get dry if Eddie had changed, dressed her and settled her already?

Loose tears trickled down the bridge of her nose, but (Y/n) swiped them from existence and set on getting changed. The feeling of Eddie's shirt hanging off her frame was comforting. His scent was calming and (Y/n) pulled the collar up so it rested on the bridge of her nose so she was overwhelmed with Eddie's scent while she wore her own underwear and pyjama shorts that somehow didn't feel right compared to Eddie's clothes. Nothing about (Y/n) or her things felt right anymore.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

Eddie's voice took her by surprise and she turned to watch him walk back into the room. He set down a glass of juice and some tablets on the bedside table but once he perched down on the edge of the bed, (Y/n) moved too.

She didn't really think, she seemed to move on autopilot, aiming for Eddie like he was the only thing she could see and understand.

When she sat down on his lap, his arms moved to accomodate her and surprise flooded his face, although he would never complain. He wound his arms around (Y/n)'s waist while she deadlocked her arms around his neck and burrowed her face into his neck.

The feeling of each breath Eddie took pressing against her nose and the thumping of his pulse was consuming and warming and (Y/n) could smell his aftershave which always made her feel like she was home wherever they were.

"Amor, are you okay?" Eddie's voice seemed to fall on deaf ears while he glided his hand up and down (Y/n)'s back and his lips attached to the top of her head. He tried to tilt his head back and lean his chest back a little so he could look down at her, but he was in shock to see (Y/n) was practically half asleep.

She could barely open her eyes and she couldn't formulate any words either. Her arms squeezed his neck and her legs bound tight around his torso, clinging to him like she was afraid someone was suddenly going to tear him away from her.

He found himself leaning forward into her and peppering kiss after kiss against her temple to see if it would do any good. It was evident (Y/n) didn't feel well and Eddie wanted to make her feel better, or at least calm her down in any way he could.

He automatically started to sway them from side to side while he stayed perched on the end of the bed. Not daring to move because (Y/n) seemed so calm and relaxed like this and he didn't want to shift the atmosphere.

But Eddie was sure he could hear her murmuring "Don't let me go." into his neck, and it made shivers break out beneath his skin.

***

I can't do anything.

That one thought swirled around in (Y/n)'s head more than anything else. The words danced in front of her eyes. The voice in her head was whispering them so much that it was the only thing she could comprehend.

Tears began to slither down the bridge of her nose as she tried to turn her head and smother her face into the cushion, but it wasn't working. Nothing she did was making her feel any better. Nothing made her feel normal; like herself.

Who was she? Why was she feeling like this?

Her knees coiled up higher to her stomach and her arms bound around her chest while she tucked herself down into the sofa like a child trying to disappear. (Y/n) wanted to disappear. She didn't want to feel like this anymore. She wanted to feel like herself, not whoever was now trapped in her body with her.

She couldn't move. She couldn't find the energy to get up off the sofa where she had been for most of the morning. Her throat was parched and dry from silent sobs, but she didn't hold the strength to go and get a drink. She didn't have the willpower to be bothered about getting a drink either.

She had a headache whether she drank gallons of water or forgot when the last time she had a drink was, so what did it matter if she didn't go and get one?

Her body was sluggish like it wasn't truly under her control anymore. She didn't have the willpower to get up for anything.

She wasn't hungry, she wasn't thirsty. She didn't have any motivation to move around the house. She couldn't take baths anymore because they were too tempting to slip under the water and she couldn't drag herself out of them. (Y/n) couldn't even get a shower yesterday or today because the effort was too much.

And her moods didn't feel like she was even sad, she just felt blank. A plain canvas, desperate for someone to streak a splash of colour across her and make her feel something. (Y/n) would give anything to feel angry, to feel like screaming or shouting or have too much energy and no way of letting it out. She would give everything in the world to feel as happy as she did in the months leading up to Lilah's birth.

She wanted to feel as excited, thrilled and loving as she did when she thought about being a mum while she was pregnant. She didn't think she would feel like this.

It felt horrible.

When a little sniffle followed by a whimper broke through the barrier in (Y/n)'s ears, she could feel her chest quivering as her eyes cast down to her daughter.

Lilah had been asleep in the rocker that (Y/n) had dragged as close to the sofa as she could so they were side by side. Not that (Y/n) could really find the energy to look after either of her kids today.

"Please…" (Y/n) wasn't sure what she was asking of her baby girl and she couldn't seem to find any more words than that.

But when Lilah whimpered again, flood waves burst down (Y/n)'s face and a matching, feeble sound clawed at the back of her throat. Was it time to feed Lilah already? She couldn't. She couldn't do it. She wasn't sure she would be able to move from the sofa or try her luck picking her daughter up.

Her hands began to scratch at her chest like she was clawing her way towards her heart that was fracturing into millions of tiny pieces all around her chest. As if she could bear her pain and show Lilah she couldn't help her; that she couldn't give her what she wanted. What was she going to do?

"Mum, want some dinner?"

Chris wandered out the kitchen and aimed for the living room to see if his mum was still in there. She told him this morning they would be having a chill day today and she had let him spend the morning playing video games in his room while she and Lilah had been in here.

About half an hour ago, Chris had made a sandwich since he was hungry and he presumed (Y/n) had been asleep. He didn't want to wake her when he could make himself something to eat. But he knew his mum hadn't had dinner yet either and Eddie told him to help and look after both girls when he went back to work.

The eleven year old went into the living room and stood by the end of the sofa, leaning over the arm rest so he could look over at (Y/n).

His head tilted to one side and his brows furrowed when he looked down at her. She was curled up in that manner that Chris would lay when he had stomach ache or when he wasn't well. He couldn't see her face, she was hiding in the pillow. And when he realised his baby sister was subtly whimpering and kicking in her rocker, he found it very odd.

Usually if Lilah began to cry, either parent would pick her up and see what she needed. And Chris could see (Y/n) wasn't asleep, she was shaking like she was cold.

"Are you sick?"

When Chris pressed his hand against her temple, (Y/n) couldn't help the way she shuddered and how mor tears streamed down her face and soaked into the cushion.

She was the adult. She was the parent, the one who was supposed to be taking care of him and Lilah. And she was laid here, useless, needing help herself like she had been reduced to a child.

She tried to move one hand away from clawing at her chest, and she managed to reach out and squeeze Chris's wrist, giving him the tiniest bit of comfort she could muster. When she seemed to lose her energy, she flopped her hand over the side of the sofa and laid her hand on Lilah's chest. The newborn temporarily stopped whimpering at the touch, but then she continued to kick her legs out and began to cry.

She was hungry.

She had to be hungry, (Y/n) couldn't remember when she last fed her. What kind of mother did that make her?

She needed to move. She needed to get up and pick her daughter up and go and feed her and look after Chris too, but she couldn't. (Y/n) didn't think she held the strength to pick up her baby, as horrible as that might make her.

"Mum?" Chris didn't like this. She still hadn't talked to him or said if she was okay. Was he supposed to go to his room again and leave her like this? Was he meant to sit down next to her? Should he try and cuddle Lilah for a while until (Y/n) felt well enough to move?

"Please… pl- call your dad." Why was it so much effort to talk? Why was it so hard to use her broken voice and gather strength to get her dry throat to work and talk for a change?

(Y/n) kept her eyes closed so she wouldn't have to look up and witness Chris's expression.

She didn't want to know whether he was angry at her or panicking or wondering why his mum was so useless and silly. (Y/n) didn't want to see the disappointment hiding within his eyes. She just wanted to make everything stop or make herself disappear.

Chris didn't need to be told twice.

As soon as she asked, he backed up and made his way down the hallway towards his room to get his phone. He flopped onto his bed, tapping his toes against the floor while his legs jittered up and down.

What would he do if his dad didn't answer? He couldn't always pick up the phone when he was at work. If he couldn't answer, did that mean that Buck wouldn't be able to pick up either? Would he have to call Carla if he couldn't get hold of anyone? Or maybe Maddie at 911?

"Dad?" Relief like never before swelled inside of Chris when his dad answered after four rings. Expertly cutting off the inner monologue and the doubling panic inside of Chris.

"Chris, everything okay?"

It wasn't normal for Eddie to get a phone call from Chris when he was at work. He couldn't remember the last time Chris had called him like this. It was usually (Y/n) and even then she asked him first and then called so Chris could speak to him before he went to sleep or if he wanted to talk about something.

The one and only time Eddie had gotten a phone call at work from his family was when (Y/n) had fallen and she needed him to take her to the hospital.

"Can you come help mum?" Those five little words were enough to spark a fire within Eddie and have him walking away from the kitchen so he could take this call in private.

"Help her, why what's happened? Has she had a fall?"

"I don't know… she's crying, and- and she can't get up from the sofa, she said to call you."

That didn't sound right. (Y/n) crying told Eddie that she was conscious and awake, and clearly in some sort of pain or agony. She didn't usually cry in front of Chris, she used to shy away from Eddie in the beginning of their relationship so he wouldn't see her cry.

But she wasn't in the bathroom or the kitchen after a fall or a cooking accident like he would typically expect. Had she been sick? Had she woken up in agony? What was the problem?

"Can you put her on the phone for me please?" Eddie needed to talk to her. He needed to know what was going on.

He heard Chris hum and he tangled his hand in the short hairs at the back of his head while he waited. His foot began to tap against the floor and he found himself holding his breath to try and calm his system down while he heard Chris shuffling and stomping, presumably into the living room to find (Y/n).

When he reached the living room, Chris held the phone out towards (Y/n), muttering a quiet "I called dad," to try and get her to talk to him. But he frowned when (Y/n) shook her head and burrowed her face into the cushion.

She seemed to have curled up even more since he left the room. Her body was contorted into a tiny ball and she had pulled the collar of her shirt up towards her eyes so Chris could barely see her. And so he couldn't see the tears streaming down her face.

"She can't talk, she's upset."

"Fuck… tell her I'm coming home now, okay? Please stay there with her until I get home."

One hundred and one thoughts ran through Eddie's mind on the way home. He was so panicked he wasn't sure whether he had gone through a red light or not, and he didn't have time to care.

What was wrong with his wife? Had she hurt herself? Had she been sick? It had been just over a month since she had Lilah so it couldn't be any complication after birth like an infection, that would of shown up sooner than this. Eddie could think of quite a few different things that could be wrong, and all of them were frightening.

By the time he pulled up in the drive he was in a state of panic, almost shaking from uncertainty and paranoid thoughts. Part of him wished he had taken Hen up on her offer to come with him and see if she could help in any way. But when Eddie didn't know the problem, he didn't want to have anyone else involved.

He barely shut the door behind him as he sped through the hall and into the living room, guessing that they were still in there since Chris said (Y/n) couldn't move from the sofa.

He paused in the doorway once he reached the living room, scanning the scene in the same way he did when he approached a scene at work.

Chris was sat on the floor in between the sofa and the arm chair, legs crossed, cheek leaning on the sofa to be closer to (Y/n). He had one hand stretched out, gently nudging the rocker where Lilah was whimpering but not making too much of a fuss at the moment. But his other hand was tightly squeezing (Y/n)'s hand like he was either comforting her or trying to keep her awake.

Not that (Y/n) looked like she was about to pass out. Eddie could barely see her. He had to step closer into the room to get a proper look at his wife. She was laid on the sofa, knees embedded into her chest so much that it must be hurting her stomach. One arm was hidden against her chest while she other hung limply off the side of the sofa to hold Chris's hand.

Her face was tucked into the cushion, but it was her expression that was frightening Eddie. Tears streaked down her face. Eyes half-lidded, lower lip wobbling as shuddering breaths left her lips.

"Buddy, can you give me a minute to help your mum please?" Leaning over, Eddie cupped the back of Chris's head and gently kissed her curls.

His heart almost burst when he watched Chris slowly get up, press a tender kiss to (Y/n)'s temple and head down the hall towards his room. He knew Eddie would assess and look after (Y/n) now he was home, there was no need for Chris to worry anymore.

Once he was out of view, Eddie weaved around the rocker and perched down on the sofa beside (Y/n)'s thighs.

"Baby, can I take a look at you?"

Eddie wasn't sure what to do first. He couldn't see any blood or a point of pain that (Y/n) was cradling or sobbing about. He could see she was awake and alert so he didn't have to worry about her passing out or having some kind of internal bleed or problem.

His hands slithered down (Y/n)'s arms to gently hold her biceps so he could try and lift her up. He couldn't help her if she continued to lay like this, he had to sit her up to assess her and talk to her. But the moment he reeled her up so she was sitting up with him, he was taken back.

Her arms deadlocked around his chest and she meshed her face into his chest like she was trying to turn them into one being.

He could feel each harsh breath she took and the tears that were soaking into his shirt and the way she was trembling was making him shake too. He curved an arm around her waist while his other hand cupped the back of her neck and he pressed a lasting kiss to the top of her head.

"Talk to me amor, what's going on?" The soft tone in Eddie's voice and the underlying tone of understanding made (Y/n) wail. She didn't want him to understand or be nice to her. She didn't deserve it.

When Eddie tried to tilt her back so he could look down at her properly, he pursed his lips when (Y/n) shook her head. She tried to cling to him even more until she was cutting off his breathing and making his chest pulse with a dull ache.

Instead of letting go, Eddie pressed his arms firmly around (Y/n) to the point he was sure he would hurt her in a minute, but it seemed to do the trick. Pinning her to him this tightly seemed to stop her from shaking and made her feel comforted, maybe even safe, he wasn't sure. But he was glad it worked.

"Talk to me," He repeated quietly. This clearly wasn't any sort of injury which was a bit of a relief, it meant Eddie wouldn't have to make a trip with the family down to the emergency room. But it still didn't tell him what the problem was.

"I don't know, I can't… I can't do anything. I feel bleak, my head… I want- I want to shut down."

It seemed to take a while for (Y/n) to find her words, but they didn't feel right. She couldn't find the right way to express how she felt or convey to Eddie what the problem was, but what she said clearly seemed to make sense to him because he nodded against her head and hummed.

She was so focused on breathing in his scent and meshing her face into his chest that she gasped when she realised his arms were no longer pinned around her. His hands carefully cupped her face and he tilted her head back so she was looking up at him, he wanted to check her over.

There was a mental checklist in Eddie's head while he leaned his chin down and looked into her eyes.

She was having a lot of headaches, she was suffering low moods. She was more tired than Eddie had ever seen her before and she was finding it hard to get up and to even start sentences and carry on a conversation.

"Do you still feel tired? Chris said you didn't feel able to get up." When she nodded, he hummed and ticked off another point in his mental list. "Have you eaten anything or had something to drink?" The shake of her head made Eddie's chest shudder.

His hands dropped from her face so his arms could bind around her, and (Y/n) didn't have to cling to him for Eddie to know she wanted to be held tightly. He squeezed her into him and leaned his cheek on top of her head while he gently swayed them from left to right.

He paused and waited while (Y/n) tried to move, but Eddie could feel how sluggish she was and the amount of effort it took for her to shift even a tiny bit on the sofa.

Eddie felt somehow relieved when (Y/n) twisted around so she could sit on his thighs and her arms bound back around his chest while she tucked back into him like a child seeking comfort. He gripped her waist, digging his fingers lovingly into her hip while he merged his lips with her temple and tried to kiss away her headache.

He knew the problem.

Eddie was ashamed it had taken this long for him to see the signs. (Y/n) had to get to this point for Eddie to realise something was wrong. Chris had to call him at work for him to see just how bad things were and to come home and try to help instead of blunder on, oblivious to his wife's torment.

She was depressed. Having Lilah had switched something in (Y/n)'s mind and during this last month, she had developed post-partum depression.

Eddie hadn't thought of this happening. He had missed the first four months with Chris being a baby because he had to finish his tour in the army. Shannon hadn't experienced any depression after having Chris, and neither had his sisters when they had their kids.

With how happy and excited they had been to have Lilah, Eddie vainly assumed (Y/n) wouldn't be at risk of developing this. But in hindsight he should have talked to her before now to make sure.

"Okay, I'm gonna call Bobby and let him know I can't go back to work for the next few days. And then I'm gonna get you an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible, we'll get you some help."

He could already see the phone calls planning out in his head. Bobby would understand. He would agree straight away that Eddie couldn't go back to work until (Y/n) was getting some help, he couldn't leave her like this and he had to look after the kids too.

And Eddie would ring the doctors now and make them give (Y/n) the earliest appointment. He didn't know the last time she had something to eat or drink, she was in agony in her mind and she couldn't get up. She needed an emergency appointment and Eddie wasn't giving up until someone listened to him and helped his wife.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't say that. You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me?" He went back to swaying them from side to side while his hand ran up and down her back to try and calm her down.

She hadn't asked for this. She hadn't done anything to cause this and Eddie wouldn't have (Y/n) apologising when she hadn't done anything wrong. She was sick and she needed help, and that was exactly what was going to happen.

"I'm their mum, a-and I can't…"

I can't even finish a sentence.

A shudder passed through her body while she pressed up into Eddie, clutching him tighter like she thought he was going to agree with her. But the understanding in him was so loving and natural that (Y/n) didn't know what to think or do.

When she asked Chris to call Eddie, she did it because the kids needed him, not because she did. But having him comfort her and hold her broken pieces together like this was a remedy (Y/n) didn't know she needed until now. Eddie was going to help her. He wasn't going to let her feel like this for a moment longer and that was comforting.

(Y/n) didn't want to feel like this. She wanted to be a mother, she wanted to take Chris to school and look after him and cook with him and settle him. And she wanted to take Lilah out on walks to the park and actually feed and change her and cuddle with her and be a proper mum to both kids, rather than feeling like another child that needed tending to.

"Being unwell doesn't make you any less of a mum. You won't feel like this for long, I'll make sure of it."

(Y/n) felt a bit more free and able to move when she lifted her head from Eddie's chest so she could lean her cheek on his shoulder instead. She looked up at him with those doe eyes that always melted his heart and when he reached out to brush a stray tear from her cheek, (Y/n) leaned into the touch.

"I'm gonna take care of you."

His words were enough to calm down the raging storm inside (Y/n)'s mind and for a few moments, she forgot about the headache storming behind her eyes.

Her hand clutched at his wrist, keeping his hand where it was, cradling the side of her face. And she pushed up enough to capture Eddie's lips in a kiss. He was going to look after her, and that was all (Y/n) needed to hear.

[eerna]

Nicasia swallowing her pride and begging Jude for Cardan's life on her knees u will always be famous. Jude letting herself cry over Cardan in front of no one but Nicasia u will always be famous.

[bunnyb34r]

Sometimes I really fucking envy the selfish assholes who just don't engage with the news/learn an current events. Like god it must be nice to live in your little bubble, only living in 'the moment' and the 'here and now' around you. It must be so peaceful to be able to see a YouTube short ab current events and say "hmm that's sad" and just scroll onto the next video without giving it a second thought. Must be so fucking peaceful being oblivious. Sometimes I want that. I want to be selfish and self centered, I mean I know I don't but... yknow??

[todayisafridaynight]

sometimes my ass feels goofy bout my sawashiro photocard holder but my eldest sister just got here and she has a new photocard holder with her new anime boyf on it and yk what Very Comforting to know we're losers together

[kakusu-shipping]

I apologize for not posting anything at all. I'm no where near the end of VLR but these people have invaded my brain and I can't do anything about it.

[wipples]

What is it like to lack a sense of agency?

What is it like to have it?

[emdotcom]

I changed my mind. Hater behavior is undeserved, when it comes to works, & idgaf about holding creators accountable when their games are mid, anymore.

[thedarklyblue]

i want to KICK someone !!!

[bat-the-misfit]

guess who went to twitter again :)))

[no-mercy-bby]

Is anyone else's mom so frustrating in general?😐

[aperrywilliams]

That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.

Summary:  You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.

Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)

Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.

A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!

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Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.

But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.

He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.

From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.

But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.

You were extremely shy and reserved.

In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'

He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.

But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.

At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.

It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?

If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.

From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.

You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.

'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'

'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'

And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.

And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.

But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.

Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.

In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.

The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.

---------------

A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.

Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.

All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.

Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.

"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.

"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.

"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.

"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.

"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.

You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.

It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.

"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.

"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.

"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.

That's it—the elephant in the room.

Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...

There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.

Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.

"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.

And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.

But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.

"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.

"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.

"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.

"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.

And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.

Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.

When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.

"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.

That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.

You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.

Emily is who stops everyone's rant.

"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."

And this is how the discussion is settled.

Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.

When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.

"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"

You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.

"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."

"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.

You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.

Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.

"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."

Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.

"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.

Spencer nods and smiles at you.

"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."

If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.

---------------

You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.

Everyone has a role in the plan.

Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.

Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.

When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.

"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.

"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"

Your cheeks redens.

"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.

"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."

You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.

"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."

"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.

One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.

At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.

For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.

Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.

"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.

The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.

As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.

Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.

Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.

Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.

You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.

Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.

At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.

"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.

"Show time," you mumble to yourself.

You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.

That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.

You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.

Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.

"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.

JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.

"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."

Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.

"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."

You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.

Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.

Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.

Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.

Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.

JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.

As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.

"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.

Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.

There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.

"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.

With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.

He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.

"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.

"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.

Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.

The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.

"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.

"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.

You get closer to him to speak in his ear.

"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.

Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.

You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.

"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.

You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.

It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.

Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.

When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.

As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.

Everything that happens after is too fast.

The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.

But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.

There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.

You shyly approach him.

"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.

"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.

"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.

"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.

Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.

Everything except that kiss.

If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.

A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.

You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.

What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.

"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.

"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.

Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?

"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.

A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.

There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.

"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.

"I know," you say with some hesitation.

"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"

Now, you are the one who smirks at him.

"Evidence, huh?"

"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.

"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.

Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.

This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.

------------------ 

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 

[indigodawns]

.

[in-class-daydreams]

Imagine nearly beating a bitch when they imply that ex-husband Gojo was anything but completely devoted.

Being married to one of the most powerful sorcerers in history was bound to garner some rumors. But the the rumor mill really went wild after your divorce.

You'd grown to ignore the rumors that Satoru left because you were unable to have children after Sen. Or that his Clan ordered you to divorce (though they would have if they could). Or that you weren't a strong enough sorcerer to maintain his interest. People could make up all kinds of baseless things, so you grew to ignore them quickly enough.

But of all the cruel, accusatory, presumptuous rumors surrounding your divorce, one stood far above the rest.

"Satoru Gojo's wife left him because of his wandering eye."

As if people knew anything about him. About how "devotion" is the core of his personality.

So, yes, you might have sent an up-and-coming clan heir through a wall at an official meeting. But she had it coming.

Sukuna sighs and yanks you back into your seat. "Calm down. The bitch doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Excuse me?" the young heir gasped. "How dare you speak of me that way?"

You flick a hand and send a water snake directly at her face, making sure to direct it at an angle that would force water right up her sinuses. She coughs and gags.

"Satoru was utterly devoted to me and our son. Our marriage may not have lasted, but he is still the most loving man I've ever met. If I ever hear another nasty comment about him from you again, I will remove your tongue," you growl.

The other clan staff sitting around the table gape at you. No one moves to help the young heir.

"Looks like this meeting's over," Sukuna drawls, gathering his papers. "Good thing. This was such a waste of time. Come back when you actually have something for me that makes sense." He shifts into his Ryomen form and uses his extra arms to grab your stuff. "C'mon, brat. I'm done with these idiots."

~

Imagine doing a consultation at Tokyo High and being a little extra nice to ex-husband Gojo.

"I organized each file with color tabs. They're pretty self-explanatory," you explain, handing over the stack.

"And here's to think you could hardly read when we met," Satoru teases.

"Hilarious," you deadpan. "And I left a bag of sandwiches and a gallon of cut fruit for you in the employee fridge. Don't forget to eat again or I'll force feed you myself."

Satoru's eyebrows lift. "Oh. That's different. What brought this on? Are you buttering me up for something? What'd you do?"

You scoff and make to leave his office. "I just don't need Suguru to complain to me about you passing out or something. Don't think about it too hard."

"Alright, thanks."

Just before you cross the threshold, you hear, "Thank you for defending me. You didn't have to do that."

You turn halfway and eye him warily. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Kuna ratted you out."

"Of course he did."

"Nice try, though." He gives you a rare smile.

Satoru never smiled much. He laughed, pouted, or sly grinned plenty, but you hadn't seen his gentle smile in a while. It made him look younger.

"Well." You shrug. "Bitches who don't know any better should keep their mouths shut."

He laughs. "The Teenage Jailbird version of you still jumps out sometimes, I see."

"She gets the job done." You linger in the doorway for a moment. Then you move before you can change your mind.

Satoru turns his chair to face you when you run round the desk and lets out a soft "oof" when you lock him in a tight embrace. Your clench fistfuls of his uniform jacket.

"It's okay." Satoru pats your back. "I'm not hurt. Really."

You have to pry yourself from him, but you manage. Wiping a stray tear - that even Satoru is surprised to see - you nod resolutely.

"Okay, well. Don't forget to eat or whatever. Bye, Satoru."

Satoru watches you speed walk down the hall. The six eyes pick up on you stopping outside the school gates and running your hands down your face. Once you're gone, he returns to his admin work newly energized.

It was hard to explain to you when you were married, but those little moments of affirmation made all the difference to him.

~ Thanks for reading!

Click [here] to keep up with ex-husband Gojo and his estranged family | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[songmingisthighs]

Missing Out

group : ateez

pairing : dilf!mingi × reader

genre : smut

wc : 4.1 k

tw : mdni, explicit smut; daddy kink, teasing, dirty talk, age gap (mingi's like mayhaps at least a decade older, but both are still within legal limits), thigh riding, spitting, alcohol consumption (not to the point of being drunk, it's just for vibes and... spitting lmao),

a/n : frfr i hope he doesn't see this fic because God i would not be able to defend myself. tbh i planned on posting this on mingi's bitthday but i got shit happening to me. shit without my consent and I'm just trying to ride the stress like gandalf hopped up on cocaine riding smaug. so ykw i decided to post this on my birthday instead lmao. special thanks to @kitten4sannie for listening to me drop some ideas while i was on a road trip, i did some adjustments but it's still sexually frustrated dilf!mingi this fic is finally out so i hope you and everyone enjoy it <3

a/n/n : i take no responsibilities for any calf cramp that may or may not happen but alyssa, i still blame you for the great leg cramp at ass o'clock

a/n/n/n : my birthday sucks because it felt more like public service than anything but i got ticket to go to singapore again so i'll be reunited with my little brother and little sisters soon✌️ i'm raising money for my mental wellbeing which is so totally code for i'm trying to find a way to make my shituation better by making myself just the slightest bit happier after today's shenanadoodles

buy me coffee ?

After the day Mingi had, the cold drink in his hand felt like the reward he deserved. It was only then that Mingi realized why people always say that the Family Court is rough. Still, of course, it was extra rough for him because his ex-wife, the horned creature incarnate (a goat, not the devil), had dragged his name through the mud just to get the maximum alimony because she was a narcissistic bum with no life skill to fall back to as if Mingi was the one who told her to quit her job as a dental hygienist when they first got married.

During the mediation meetings and court proceedings, she took all of the potshots she could While no one took her seriously, it still pained Mingi because the more she and her lawyer attacked him, calling out all of his insecurities and questioning his character, the more obvious it was that Mingi had wasted 9 years of his life on this loser and he missed out on all of the marital milestones. The main sore spot was having kids. She argued that putting her body through pregnancy was out of the question because there were risks that could cause her body to look weird in the future and it's inhumane how a woman's body had to contort in such a way to accommodate another living being. But when her breast implant popped when she slammed the car door too hard, it was 'a normal occurrence'.

As much as his friend Yunho told him not to, Mingi couldn't help but wallow in the time he absolutely WASTED on the bitch only to be screwed over. The only good thing that came out of the divorce was the fact that he got out of it without having to pay alimony because his ex-wife had become too cocky with her cards. But still, Mingi had to give her the car, the savings account (that wasn't much compared to anything considering she had drained it to accommodate her filler addiction and alcohol dependency), and Tony Son, their personal trainer, the one thing Mingi could credit her because she had been the one who introduced him to the man who was able to sculpt his body to perfection.

"Is this seat taken?"

Mingi snapped his head to the side to see a woman younger than he, dressed in a tight-bodiced red sparkly dress that showed just enough cleavage for it to be classy rather than trashy and the A-line satin skirt stopped just three fingers width atop her knees. Slowly, Mingi nodded and gestured to the seat on his right side wordlessly. It wasn't until the woman flagged down the bartender and ordered her drink did Mingi questioned why she sat next to him when there were other seats in the bar.

"So, are you alone?" she asked, striking up a conversation with Mingi which honestly caught him by surprise because he had been told that he had a resting bitch face that doubled in intensity when he wasn't in the mood and he was doubling in his bad mood. "Yeah... I am, so..." his words allude to him wanting to be alone, but there was something about the person next to him that intrigued him so much so that his eyes seemed to be glued to her. Just the sight of her drinking her vodka cranberry made Mingi's eyes travel from her face down to her lap, watching the way she moved so gracefully. "So... You don't mind my asking why a man as handsome as you are would be sitting alone with a scowl on his face," she pointed out, forcing Mingi to consciously unfurrow his eyebrows and fake taking a sip of his drink, "I'm not scowling, I'm just tired and pissed off for wasting 9 years on a selfish bitch that deprived me of anything I want in life," he spat venomously, even the slight mention of his ex sent a really unpleasant taste in his mouth. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?" She pouted, inching closer to Mingi as somewhat of a signal. Noticing this, Mingi scoffed and shook his head but he still entertained the woman, "Got a time machine to help me undo the past 9 years?" "No, but maybe I can give you what your ex couldn't."

You couldn't help but bite your bottom lip when the look of shock on Mingi's face melted into intrigue. You had been watching him for an hour, sitting all alone, nursing his one drink as he toyed with his ring before chucking it into his breast pocket. Thank God he did because you were not about to approach a potentially spoken-for man. It took you a while to get substantial evidence of his status and it wasn't just because you were distracted by his plump ass in those slacks and the matching suit jacket and slightly unbuttoned black dress shirt didn't help your case.

"Little girl, I think I'm a bit too... Far for your reach," Mingi pointed out, raising an eyebrow at you as he wasn't sure that you knew what you were offering him. Mirroring him, you raised your eyebrow and shifted so that you faced him fully as you raised one leg and cross it over the other, successfully inviting Mingi to get a glimpse of more skin. "You don't know me or what I can do, sir," you smirked challengingly, now openly inviting him to poke you further.

You were delighted when you saw Mingi's jaw clench and throat bob after you called him sir. It was proof to you that Mingi had some sort of inclination of being in control and his little confession about not getting what he wanted from his ex-wife might be a glimpse of the kind of fun you could get from him. So without hesitation, you decided that you were going home with him.

Surprisingly, Mingi responded positively by leaning in to cup your chin and pull you close, just a wispy breath away from having your lips meet and you so desperately wanted to taste his because they just looked so damn juicy and plump. "You don't want to know all the things I've been deprived of... Baby." Your eyes darken and your legs crossed tighter to suppress the sudden arousal washing over your core, excited at the confirmation that Mingi was playing into your games just as you had wanted. All you needed to do was lock this down. So you let your hand lay on his thigh, squeezing it suggestively and enjoying the feeling of his muscle tensing underneath you each time your hand slid closer to his crotch to the point that your nail was scratching the inner side of his thigh just right. Despite being physically affected by you, Mingi still maintained eye-contact, daring you to poke his button just right.

"Yes, I do... Daddy."

In the blink of an eye, Mingi smashed his lips on you and all of the oxygen was knocked out of your lungs in one go. His lips were soft but the way he used them was rough yet calculated. You could taste the smoky whiskey on his tongue as he slipped it inside your mouth. Little did you know, he too, was enjoying the way you tasted. Your lip gloss had a sweetness to it that made him wonder if you're the type to plan things or if it was just a happy coincidence. He also took note of how you allowed him to lead you and the more he asserted himself onto you with every nibble of his lip and every caress of his tongue, showing that you're more on the submissive side and he likes it. A lot. The more you felt pleasure, the more you pleasured him back as evidenced by your hand rubbing against his raging boner.

Mingi smirked at the way you whimpered when he finally pulled away from you to slap a couple bills on the counter before he got off the stool, pulling you along with him. You wobbled slightly but Mingi immediately pulled you flush on his chest and despite having just made out with him, you found the gesture very hot. "Wanna go see if you can keep up with the list of things I missed out on?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mingi must be some kind of a business owner because no way he would have had a rather impressive office where you found yourself in. Well, on top of him on his couch, grinding your panty-less core against his thigh with your top down, allowing the older man to ogle at your tits as you tried to make yourself cum.

"Is that the best you can do?" Mingi taunted, circling his crystal glass which produced a tinkling sound from the ice in the drink he poured as soon as you reached his home. "Daddy, I want you to touch me," you whined but your hip was still relentlessly moving after making a big deal of how his thighs were so strong and you wanted to sit on them like a throne. So instead of just sitting, Mingi told you to make yourself useful and prep your pussy without his help and he wanted you to do it by riding his thigh. His thick, glorious thigh. "Don't you want to touch me, daddy?" you teased, cupping your boobs and tweaking your own nipples whilst throwing your head back, making a show out of it just to get Mingi to touch you. Sure, Mingi was intrigued, but he knew damn well that he was holding the reigns and he had to hold himself back from jumping at the opportunity to completely ravish you too soon. "I do, baby, but you're being a brat right now and refusing to listen to me. Had I wanted that, I would've stayed with my ex-wife." Your head snapped back up at the mention of his ex-wife and you glared at his smug smirking face, "You have me half naked on your lap and you still mentioned your ex-wife?" you gathered your skirt in your hand, exposing your cunt to Mingi's eyes and slowed your pace to a prolonged drag that left long, dark stain courtesy of your arousal.

Finding your petulance adorable, Mingi chuckled and pulled you in for a searing kiss with one hand cupping your chin and the other slapping you on the ass as if telling you to speed up your movement. "You're an adorable little doll and I'm gonna break you," he muttered against your lips before you could reply to him, Mingi tugged your hair back as he casually took a sip from his drink. The action made you yelp and Mingi swiftly leaned over and spit the drink into your mouth and clamped your jaw shut. "Swallow," he commanded and as you came down from being surprised, you stared into Mingi's eyes. At first, you only stared at him, feigning defiance just for fun and Mingi found that both intriguing and annoying. His grip moved to tightly grasp your jaw and he growled, "Swallow. It." He demanded in a stern voice that made your panties more damp as your cunt clench, leaving you unable to do anything more than whine and swallow the burning liquid. Mingi found you very mesmerizing even on an act as simple as you taking heed of his words. The stray spit and alcohol that trickled from the corners of your lips enhanced the glimmer of your smudged lipstick and lipgloss combo, turning Mingi on with how effortlessly sultry you looked. He was down and he was down bad. He wasn't even sure if he was down because Once the liquid was no longer there, you rolled out your tongue to proudly show your obedience and Mingi let out a shuddered breath seeing you just blindly following his orders like the good puppet you are.

"Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."

In a flash, Mingi flipped you both around so that you were trapped underneath him with your head strategically on the armrest. The elevation allowed you to watch as Mingi dragged a hand down your body as if you were a work of art. "All this time... I was missing a lot all this time, that bitch took nine years out of me and gave me nothing," Mingi shuddered both in anger and in arousal. The contrasting thoughts between being so angry at his former partner and the excitement of being rewarded by being able to ravish you felt like waves crashing inside him. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It got his adrenaline pumping and God, he felt alive. "Poor baby," you purred all the while slowly popping the buttons of his dress shirt off to reveal the soft skin underneath, "You're so frustrated, It's a good thing I'm here now huh?"

You swung your leg up and used the tip of your toe to tilt Mingi's chin upwards maintaining a somewhat neutral expression but the twinkle in your eyes indicated clear intrigue. "Tell me all the things you want to do. What do you want most?" the question made Mingi roll his eyes back and he grabbed your leg by your ankle. "You nasty slut, you want to have an older cock so bad you're enticing me with empty promises, huh?" He mumbled against the skin of your leg, trailing his lips down from the heel and lower to your calf as his body followed down until he eventually stopped at the mid-section of your inner thigh. You helped him by flipping your skirt up, exposing your cunt wholly to him and slotting the leg you lifted on his shoulder, "Empty promises? I want to give you whatever you want daddy, and in order for me to be able to do that, I need to know what it is."

Thinking that he had nothing to lose anyway, Mingi smirked and decided to test you. "I want a baby," he stated, "I want to put my baby in you," he said oh so casually as if he hadn't had his fingers poking and prodding your cunt like they just belonged there. Truthfully speaking, Mingi was expecting you to push him off and ran away screaming because what kind of a hookup just casually dropped a bomb as big as he did?

But it seemed like Mingi's luck was turning around for the better because you replied by reaching forward to free his cock from his pants, trying as best as you could to suppress the surprise at Mingi's size (but failing as evidenced by the way your eyes bulged slightly and your tongue peeking out to lick your bottom lip in hunger) before you leaned back and opened your legs widely as an invitation for him. "Then do it, fuck me so hard and dumb and deep that I'd have no other choice but to have your baby," you smiled up at him. Mingi could only stare at you in shock initially, not really knowing what you meant until you whined and pulled him closer using the leg that was hooked on his shoulder. "Daddy, don't make me wait too long. Come on, put a baby in me!" you pleaded, cunt throbbing with eagerness to feel Mingi's cock stretching you now that you already caught a glimpse.

The shock melted away from Mingi's face and even as he was guiding his cock to your core, he was still carefully watching your face, not wanting to waste any twitch or shift in your face from feeling him but also he was trying to be careful in case you showed him any indication of regret or if you changed your mind. But the way you whined and rolled your hips so your wet cunt could meet his cock more gave him the green light.

"You dirty slut," Mingi grunted before he shoved his length inside you in one fluid movement. The accumulating arousal from you riding his thigh provided proper lubrication but his sheer size was not something you're used to so your body tensed up at the impact. "F-fuck, daddy, y-you-" "Am I tearing you apart, baby? Are you being split into two on daddy's fat cock?" he asked in faux worry that was just him being condescending towards you. But you don't care, you found it hot even when he talked down to you as if you were nothing but his plaything. "Yes, yes, daddy, I'm being split open on your cock but I love it! I love it so much!" you moaned, hands clawing at his skin, causing red streaks to appear from the pressure of your nails, "Fuck, I want more!"

With that, Mingi pushed your legs up by your thighs, exposing more of your lower half to him. "Be daddy's good girl and hold these open, I wanna see your pussy taking my cock raw," he hissed, eyes zeroing on the way your puffy lips split open to accommodate his size. Carefully, as if assessing a great piece of art, Mingi watched attentively The view almost brought tears to his eyes but he channeled the somewhat endearing moment into fucking you stupid into the mattress.

Each drag of Mingi's cock felt like fire against your inner walls. Although there was a slight discomfort with each movement, the added pleasure of being filled like you had never before made you addicted.

If you thought you were enjoying yourself, Mingi was very close to combusting and he was trying his best to not cum too soon as he didn't wanna be branded as the geezer who came too early. But he couldn't help it, not with the way both his ego and his cock were stroked. It was as if you were made for him and he felt that the moment he entered your sopping cunt. So Mingi shifted his focus to you instead, working to get you to cum first.

"Come on baby, cum for daddy. I need you to cum first so you'd be ripe and open for me to fill you up," Mingi huffed, pressing his pointy nose against the junction of your neck that sent tingles down your spine, "We need to do our best to make sure that you'd be good and pregnant, right?" The weight of his words caused your head to spin as the thought of him filling you full for his own pleasure filled your mind. "Yes, yes daddy, make me cum please," you whined into his ears, your body reacting almost automatically by rolling your hips against his own to match his speed and desire. Mingi growled hungrily and his pace quickened significantly as the impact got harder. You were sure that after this your ass would be different shades of red and blue but you couldn't care less. Especially if Mingi wanted to do more rounds with you, you'd gladly wear the bruises like a badge of honor.

"Fuck, you're so hot like this, you're so hot when you're willing and submissive for me," Mingi grunted, even verging on whining into your ears because you just felt so good to him but he held firm, "Are you close, baby? Are you cumming soon?" Lucky for him, you nodded hurriedly, confirming that you were close. Your brain had been marinating in the dizzying arousal that it was embarrassingly quick for you to nearly reach your climax in a rather short time. However, your response was deemed lacking to Mingi who wanted to hear a verbal response from you. Mingi was quick to slap you hard on your left tit as a punishment, feeling the need to chastise you for simplifying your response.

The words died on Mingi's tongue and his hips sharply halted to a stop when he saw you yelp and shudder before coming completely undone underneath him, writhing pathetically as your nails grazed his skin, leaving red streaks for Mingi to show off for days on end. His eyes darken when he saw tears pooled in your own eyes before dropping, creating the illusion of your eyes sparkling which served a rather complex combination of innocence and sinful. "M-M- Daddy," you whimpered in almost a hushed tone, barely comprehensible but to Mingi the sound was thunderous in Mingi's ears, ringing, because his baby girl needed him. His baby girl wanted him. His baby girl who's willing to give him anything he could ask for was longing for him. So who is he to deny you?

Seeing you in such a vulnerable state seemed to unlock something primal in Mingi because while you were reeling down from your orgasm, Mingi was instead put into some sort of a trance. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, slightly hoping that he could taste your sweetness in the air, and his hips restarted with a pace so hard and quick, for a moment you forgot that Mingi was a human.

The pleasure from your orgasm tripled with the additional friction continuously given by Mingi whose head was flooded with the thought of truly possibly getting you pregnant from this first time. Not that he was planning on only fucking you once, not after he felt how good you made him feel both emotionally and physically. He was planning to pamper you to death and maybe that was the sexually frustrated side in him but he didn't care, he didn't care how crazy he was because you were the one who made him crazy.

The sound of hips snapping together in a rhythm accompanied by your drunk-like moans sounded like a symphony in Mingi's ears. "F-fuck baby, I'm gonna fill you up now," Mingi grunted, his eyes closing and his forehead dropping to your shoulder, "I'm gonna fill you up with my seed to the brim and you're gonna be a good girl and keep it all in so my baby can grow safely inside of you, okay?" He whispered so intimately against your shoulder that both your lips and cunt wept. You wouldn't be surprised if there was a pool underneath you after you were done and you won't hesitate to ask for more. "Cum, daddy. Cum inside me. Fill me up so hard and full like you promised me!" You whined, your hands snaking around his shoulders to hold tight as the overstimulation caused a tingling pain that made your toes curl while Mingi was getting such a high from his ego being fed.

"Fuck, baby girl, this is it, I'm gonna put my baby in you!" Mingi grunted and thrusted, once, twice, thrice, before his hips stuttered and you felt a gush of warmth spilling deep inside your cunt. The physical feeling of being filled up made your eyes roll into your head and the realization of what just happened made you blush as if you weren't whoring for his cock not 10 minutes ago.

As Mingi slowly came down from his high, his mind cleared up and he was able to pepper kisses from your shoulders, up your neck, along your jawline, and then gently all over your face. The contrast of the sweetness of the older man and the nasty act you both just did made you suddenly turn all giggly and shy. "Aww, come on, are you trying to get away from me?" Mingi smirked, trying to chase another kiss from your lips but you kept dodging him, "That's pretty absurd considering I still have my cock inside of you, plugging you full." Your eyes widened at the vulgarity of his chosen words and you couldn't help but smack him on the shoulder but fail to hold back a giggle, "Don't say it like that!" "Like what? Like the way it is?" Mingi teased, pushing himself up to trail a finger on your stomach which made your breath hitch and your muscle to tense, "I need to make sure you really do get pregnant so you can give me my baby just like I wanted," his voice trailed as his fingers drew patterns on your skin almost lovingly and the nonsensical side of you wanted to believe that he was showing his affection to you. You figured that there was only one way to find out.

Without missing a beat, you took his finger that was tracing your skin into your mouth and start licking around as if it was a lollipop, effectively causing Mingi's attention to shift to your face and his cock to twitch inside you. "Who said we're only gonna try this once, daddy? You're gonna fuck me as much as you like until I'm good and pregnant."

The smirk that bloomed on Mingi's face was devilish and almost menacing, showing his genuine intention to get wamhat he wanted.

"I hope you'd never ask. I'm gonna fuck you all night long and you're gonna be a good girl and take it all with no complaint."

As if you'd say no.

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[rafeandonlyrafe]

other fingers in other holes

words: 1.3k

warnings: 18+ only, dubcon!, smut, fingering, reader x barry, reader x rafes (nameless) friends, spankings, punishments, mentions of p in v sex, anal fingering, mentions of anal sex, established relationship

“you're being a fucking brat.” rafe growls out, not bothering to lower their voice as everyone on the patio turns to look at you.

you know it's true but you still pout and cross your arms, defying him even more.

“if you wanna act like a bitch, im going to treat you like one.” rafe warns. “act up one more time and you'll see what happens.”

you're good for less than five minutes before you do something else to purposely get on rafes nerves, and something snaps inside of him.

he pulls you into his lap, shoving your face down so you land with your stomach across his knees. you instantly know what rafe is planning as your hands come to your skirt and hold the material down, but it's no use.

rafe doesn't care that barry is sitting right next to him. doesn't care that a couple of his friends had joined them, he still pushes the fabric up to reveal your panties.

“rafe, im sorry!” you squeal, but his hand still lands on your ass, making your entire body twitch.

“i told you there would be consequences.” rafe growls out. “now you have to take your punishment.”

he doesn't stop with one spanking, hitting your ass again for all of the peering eyes to see how your plump bum jiggles with his strikes.

another spanking as you clenching your legs tightly together, attempting fruitfully to keep yourself somewhat concealed, only for rafe to rip your thighs apart, lifting one so effortlessly it's like you're a doll.

“look at that, guys.” rafe scoffs. “she's already soaking through her panties.”

“rafe, man…” barry says, and you think for a moment he might defend you. might tell rafe to not embarrass you in front of everyone. “take them off.”

your heart sinks as you press your face into the couch cushion, knowing rafe will listen to what barry asks of him.

rafes hand delivers another swat before tugging your panties down your legs, flinging them onto the floor. you don't even bother trying to keep yourself from being exposed as rafe sits your hips back onto his lap with your legs spread wide.

the second the fresh afternoon air hits your pussy, you can't help the moan you let out.

“shit man, she is soaked.” barry laughs. 

you wait for rafes touch, but you can tell this hand is different as it delivers a rougher spanking, surely leaving a red mark.

your eyes widen when the fingers the delve into your folds are certainly not rafes, not as long and not as slender as the man you're used to.

you instantly realize it's barry, rafe having allowed him to reach over and begin to finger you as he prods a digit against your entrance.

“don't bother being gentler with her, man.” rafe says. “she's used to getting fucked hard, huh baby?”

you let out a little whine and hope it suffices as a good enough answer for rafe.

“oh, and don't look so jealous.” rafe says to his two friends whose names you've forgotten at this point, sole focus on barrys finger slowly sinking further into your cunt. “you'll get a turn fingering her too.”

rafe then bends over your body, making sure you're listening as he gathers your hair into a ponytail and tugs your head up. “and you're not to cum, understood?”

you nod, swallowing thickly as barrys finger starts to push in and out of you as you struggle to find your voice. “yes.”

“good girl.” rafe drops your hair and your face presses back into the couch, attempting to hide your moans somewhat in the cushion as barry picks up the pace, listening to rafe and not bothering to build you up or take anything too gentle.

it's not long before a second finger is pushed into your entrance, barry seeing how quickly you adjust as your walls give way, pussy sucking his fingers deeper in every time.

“remember this is your punishment.” rafe says, slapping your ass harshly, the sudden stinging pain in sharp contrast to barry fingering you.

you can hear rafe, then soon after his buddies, let out a chuckle at the way your pussy obviously reacts, loving the mix of pain and pleasure as your pussy grip around barrys fingers so tightly he almost struggles to move them.

“god man, you get to fuck this cunt every day?” one of rafes friends pipes up.

“nah, not her cunt. she's not good enough for that every day.” rafe separates your cheeks and you know exactly what he's going to say. “i fuck her other hole when she's being a brat no matter how much she screams and cries.”

you can tell some sort of silent exchange is going on with glances and nods, and then a finger is touching your other entrance.

“rafe!” you squeal, even though both his hands are still holding you apart and the finger certainly isn't his.

“shut up.” rafe growls. “you were asking for this by being a little beat. take it.”

thankfully whoever is touching you dips down to gather some of your wetness on his finger before attempting to push in. 

rafe smirks as he's able to sink inside, pumping slowly but rafe doesn't care enough to correct him as his friend surely imagines its his cock instead, probably using this mental image to jerk off later.

“i- rafe.” you cry out, your hand moving to tap his thigh before squeezing it as your cunt flutters, the intrusion of both holes being filled causing your high to quickly build.

“hold it in, slut.” rafe says. “besides, my other friend here hasn't gotten to touch you yet.”

barry clearly isn't giving up your pussy any time soon, so you hear the groan of disappointment as the finger leaves your ass only to be quickly replaced by one that is clearly less experienced.

you don't even bother to let out a cry in complaint, kind of enjoying the erratic thrusting compared to barrys even yet hard and deep strokes.

your hand grips onto rafes jeans, especially as barry pulls out only to dip briefly down to your clit and then back inside.

“making it hard for her.” barry says, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“good.” rafe gives your ass a spanking, letting your cheeks go to continue swatting against your ass. “this is a punishment.”

rafe leans over you again. “have you learned your lesson or are you still being a brat?”

you tilt your head to the side, pressing it into the wet patch you soaked with your drool.

“ill be good.” you tell rafe. “promise.”

“you better be.” rafe leans in to give you a sloppy kiss, loving the way you can't hold back your moans even as his lips are against yours.

rafe sits up quickly, suddenly feeling possessive as he shoves his friends away. “fuck off.”

rafe fingers enter your pussy, pumping in such familiarity that you don't even need him to touch your clit before you cry out, high breeching suddenly from having your boyfriend being the one filling your cunt.

your entire body shakes as juices drip onto rafes lap, the squelching sound filling the room along with your moans as he fingers you through your orgasm.

“you weren't supposed to cum.” rafe says, your eyes widening when you realize he never gave you verbal permission, your high built so suddenly just from feeling him that you didn't even think about it.

“guess ill just have to take you upstairs and make sure you cum many, many times.” rafe stands up, his arms easily slotting under yours, not bothering to grab your underwear still laying on the floor.

“make sure you thank barry for fingering you so nicely.” rafe says, holding you against his chest.

“thanks, bear.” you whisper, managing to glance down and see how hard barry is in his shorts before rafe whisks you up to his bedroom.