#like pinnochio’s whole thing about. him wanting to just keep doing what they’re doing

[aberfaeth]

anyways it was funny to confirm that the PCs do not, in fact, have literally any goals beyond Stop Everyone Else From Doing Stuff, and are seemingly just waiting for the ~correct~ answer to be dropped into their laps

[thebaddkids]

neverafter quotes: episode 1: the times of shadow

i rewatched episode 1 and tried to take notes of some of the quotes that i really liked (both the funny ones and the ones that make me scream internally) 

i feel like i’m always digging around trying to remember them properly, and it would be nice to have a list to reference back to. 

there’s still so many great moments that aren’t on here, feel free to add on :) 

but this tale begins anew in the telling. and with that, there is only one way to begin. once upon a time…

prophecies of this kind cannot be avoided

you wake up. it's hard to move. you can't see… — you can't close your eyes, you can't close your mouth… — briars are growing out of your mouth, growing out of your nostrils.

you feel yourself partially lacerated by the things that have emerged from your sleeping form and have filled the room here. the ache of muscles atrophied and unmoved after a hundred years of slumber, and a bed underneath you wrent apart by the briars that issue forth from you

the most uncomfortabe feeling is the feeling, not even the thorns which are of course painful, but it’s the feeling of the roots at the bottom of your stomach. (^ oh-kayyyyyy. you don’t know who i am yet, but can i give the help action? nothing has worried me more than you describing this as the ‘mini golf’)

your eyes roll back in your head, and you see… could be dozens, could be hundreds. out in the briars past this place, there are… corpses. some nothing more than bones hanging from the thorns, some of them a little… fresher. — it’s almost like the briars want you to know. want you to know how safe they’re keeping you. because at the bottom of all those little groves, or hanging off of a rotting wrist, or, as is most often the case, simply resting at a jaunty angle on a bare skull, are the crowns of all the many princes that have died in the thorns.

as your slippers wrend apart, you begin running barefoot on thorns

hello! is anybody else awake? hello!

i try to push forward. i know what direction i came from. i know that way is out, and there’s no way back. so i guess i just have to keep going.

my dear, sweet elodie, we should be taking about what kind of dance we want to do!

let them all kind of fight out there, and we’re inside. that’s why they build castles… that’s why they build ‘em.

things are not well. how could things be well in here, if they’re not well out there?

isn’t there something horrifying about the idea that our lives ended the day we wed?

what would it look like, everything being good

i will do my best to give you what i can.

and when you first look into the mirror after discovering this, your nose is gone.

that’s a joke, that’s a little joke.

who i thought was an old woman, but who was really a witch — ain’t it the way.

sometimes it feels like there’s not one real beggar in these lands. — it’s always a witch, or an ogre, or some… — they’re out here to get us!

when you don’t have much, you wanna keep what you have looking good.

he thinks he’s funny? ughhh

key to a good joke, it’s funny.

we get the fourty gold — and then we, i don’t know, push him down and run away?

new money, hmm.

we do what we can, when we can, for ourselves — amen.

you look up, your fur matted by rain and storm

and with that, pinnochio, you see pib lost in reverie.

this guy has not caught onto you at all, he’s just still mad about the sheets thing

if i may be so bold, you’re my best friend

we used to call these ‘shitty corprates’

could i do an insight check on him to see like, is there anything magical, or he’s the root of all evil that i’m looking for? — he’s the root of all evil? — is he the big bad of the whole season?

(small voice) quatro

oh, i wear a lot of hats — i also wear a lot of hats!

you remember the night, you remember the feeling… hands full of bones.

and write… jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack jump over the candlestick.

who put that on you, did you put that on yourself? — i put it on myself!

he had not become, maybe, the most honourable man, but he wasn’t bad either — he was such a good boy!

and the story looks beautiful, preserved. you know your son is somewhere else.

that gander is gone. for the moment.

mother goose. this book’s got a lotta blank pages.

also a red bonnet is kind of encroaching on my look

honestly, i really apreciate guidance from authority figures, so…

you said you’re a cursed man? — who said that?

you said you’re cousins three times? what does that mean? — royals.

my true love is gonna come save me — and i’m gonna find my wife and everything is fine, she still loves me.

and then i turned into a human, and everything was fine. — and then what happened? — this.

my grandma died. and i’m pretty sure i have pinkeye.

i can wait outside if it’s about the pinkeye.

maybe it’s the pinkeye but you look bad.

i wouldn’t cross a witch if i were you, my friend.

your city’s nothing more than a festering boil on the face of the neverafter.

you’re both bad, so we got you, um… — stefan’s being crazy out here — lord bainbridge! stefan is being crazy! — thank you, see stefan, idiot, i’m a prince, i’m the prince of shoeberg, motherfucker — you’re going to die — oh, i’m going to die? i’m the prince of shoeberg motherfucker — you see the two guards are drawing blades — yes, get him! — (chaotic entitled) — he is a prince!

are you attacking a child? are you a fully grown man attacking a child?

I don’t think you want this fight.

you’re in the dark. you can smell the smoke, of the candles that have been blown out. — it’s night, and you finally made it back home. you know there are people inside, you can smell them. but the doors are locked.

mom? mom?

please momma let me in, is the door barred? — i don’t know what you are, i don’t know what you are, but my daughter is dead — no she’s not, she’s right here, she’s not dead — wear her skin all you like! look at you!

i don’t know where to go if not here!

it’s fine, i can fix it, i can fix it.

who threw that? mom?

yeah, the woodsman dosen’t come.

you lured me in with your own love? you… fucking scam of a woman. i guess, i just kinda wanna… did they leave through the back door? did they leave through the back door?

did you have a nice dinner? did you all sit down to a nice dinner while you all presumed i was dead? if i was so dead, where was my funeral? — your shoulders and head touch the ceiling as you grow tall — where’s my headstone?

you hear a voice from the forest: breathe in. you must not forget to breathe.

the table, without a place for you. the mother, who would not believe you. the family, who attempted to flee from you in your moment of need…

huff and puff, little one — what have you done to me?

are you cursed? — i mean, who isn’t in the time of shadows.

yeah who are you really? because you said you were a child, but when i mentioned playing bridge, or gin rummy, you didn’t recognise either game — yeah, classic young child games — this is what kids do.

we’re not bad people. — we’re survivors.

it is a sour thing to swallow, that many more deserving places have faced ruin in this time.

sometimes the best way to keep something alive is to remember it.

it was a merry place — you don’t seem very merry — i was, once. before times became hard.

little birds, little creatures, i sure would love to have some help gathering some nuts and berries! — you see, coming out of the ferns, an enormous, scaly, unfeathered ostrich — hello! nevermind! — you sure, you all good? — you seem busy… — you don’t want help? — i can do it myself — you think i can’t sew a nice dress for a ball? — i bet you’d be really good at sewing a nice dress for a ball, but i don’t think i’m going to any balls any time soon —  I know that story! — and it walks off into the woods.

there’s someone in there — someone?

as it opens, all you can see, and all you have ever seen… her silhouette.

i need you to keep her safe, pinnochio. and i need you to keep her hidden.

the time is growing short. the candle burns low, pinnochio.

you run through the streets with limbs, made of flesh, real hair on your head, a little boy. a real little boy.

it’s very quick and sudden how the shadow moves on the village. a woman, clad in black, frayed like spiderwebs, but beautiful, moving as though blown by a breeze, with no wind to speak of.

if it’s a game you want, then it’s a game you shall have.

maybe just shadows moving, or maybe… something small, like rats…

little one, what is the name of your father? — out, in the village (a scream)

children start to weep, knowing that something terrible is happening.

your body drops, dead to the ground. and you wake up, hanging by your strings.

you’ve been telling many lies, pinnochio. i hope you can manage them all.

it is such an honour to be your stepmother, pinnochio.

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Omg this was such a trip. I was hooked 😮

⚠️My usual disclaimer: nervous attempts at humour = my love language and the only way I know how to show appreciation for things I enjoy. Advance apologies for anything that might offend 😅

"This says humans are apes, but I thought we're related to monkeys. What's the difference? Aren’t those the same thing?"

Me rn:

Is this… a dumb question😳?? Would… my friend be a dumb person if they didn’t know the answer to this question? Also what is the answer to this question (asking for a friend)

He didn't realize she was having this much trouble grasping the most basic of concepts in the class.

Ok chill with the disdainful italics Einstein. Who died and made u Judge Judy?

Instead of worrying about simply seeing her breasts across the desk, Bucky now has to worry about feeling them as she leans to point at the text.

As I said in class, there'll be a map of Africa and a list of significant fossils.

I’d ace this test tbh🤓. Every good trainer knows most fossil Pokémon can be found on Cinnabar Island. Just make sure to bring a Lapras that knows whirlpool!!

He moves onto the next paper, wanting to finish grading tonight so he can hand them back tomorrow

Whoa whoa whoa, ur telling me he hand graded all the papers in one sitting and gave them back the next day?? I’ve literally had to wait WEEKS to get those bubble exams back that are marked by a computer 😭

Come the next day, Bucky sets the stack of graded papers on the back row

Cool, so everyone can just see everyone else’s mark hahahaha not embarrassing at all 😳

Bucky tries distracting himself – answering emails, planning lectures, researching

Oh so distracting himself means… doing his literal job? Lmao

“You’re a little late today. I was getting worried someone might have kidnapped you,”

*kill bill sirens going off* 🚨🚨🚨

While he’s rarely disappointed with his own work,

dude why can’t u have imposter syndrome like the rest of us smh

“I just… I studied so hard for that exam

Me, to myself after slacking off the whole semester and doing one hardcore all nighter the night before failing organic chemistry

Thus, he decides to take the respectful, professional, morally-upstanding road.

I mean, idk if choosing to not be predatory towards your students is “morally upstanding” behaviour… seems like, an unnecessary accolade he’s giving himself there but whatever lol

"I think you just need to keep studying hard and you'll eventually see the pay-off,"

Alexa, play

Sitting with her is truly the highlight of his Mondays and Wednesdays

Ok so someone obviously doesn’t watch WWE Monday night Raw. I’ll give him Wednesdays tho…Main Event is very meh and I don’t think AEW was a thing at this point

Checking his watch,

Lol ok boomer (haha jk no offence to anyone who wears a watch 😖 y’all can laugh at me when my phone dies in public and I lose all sense of reality)

Bucky couldn’t be happier. Not only is he proud of her academic improvements under his tutelage, but also the way he’s gotten her to blossom.

Why are dudes like this fr tho. Like, from Pinnochio to Pygmalian to Frankenstein’s monster… they’re just always like “look what I made!!! Look what happened because of ME!!! Who has two thumbs and can improve anything??? It’s ME!!” Bitch pls 🙄

But can you blame him?

Is this a rhetorical question or

The door opens before Bucky even has a chance to tell the person to enter.

Oh shit didn’t realize my mom was in this story😆 (seriously, why do parents even knock if they are just going to bust in anyway smh)

“Well, I was just headed to the department meeting and noticed your light was still on. I wasn’t sure if you were in here since you’re usually very punctual to these.”

Haha in my head, she’s like one of those ppl that turns off the light everytime they leave the room even if they have to come back in a min bc it “saves energy”

💡

“I don’t mind waiting. We can walk together,” Maria offers, planting herself in the doorway.

No way in hell I’m letting u leave that light on. Do u know how many lightbulbs end up in landfills each year??

needing to keep up a purely professional facade now that they have a witness

Super disconcerting when “witness” is used in a non legal/criminal context. Super. Disconcerting.

Maria turns her back to him and starts walking

Her inner monologue, delivered over film noir music: Another day, any other small amount of energy saved.

“Who the fuck did this?” He whispers incredulously.

Ok like, why is he so mad tho? Literally every profs office I have seen had nothing of value inside lol like no one wants your Tupperware of grapes, half dead plant, or random ass stack of old newspapers man

Break his door just to cause a scene? He can’t make sense of it.

I feel like as an anthro prof he should know better lol. Kids get drunk/high/bored and do shit. A couple floors of a residence building burned down on my campus bc someone managed to light an elevator on fire lmao

Anyway I bet it was Maria bc he left the light on again and she could see it from underneath his door so she had to break in to turn it off

“Maybe I can find us a hotel or–”

Girl nooooo, true crime 101, NEVER GO TO A SECOND LOCATION 😫

He likes it a little rough; he’s sure she won’t mind.

I just feel like this dude has some Patrick Bateman/American Psycho vibes rn

He immediately stops thrusting. “Whoa! Hey, what’s wrong?” He turns her head to him, looking over her face.

Oh shit does he have a conscience? 😧

While he’s not the gentlest of lovers, Bucky’s not a sadist.

I mean… that’s still a pretty big spectrum tho. Like, “it’s not a trash dumpster, but it’s not a Michelin star restaurant either”

“Please sit down, Professor Barnes,” she says harshly.

Me: ooohhh snap, something is about to go down

She turns it around to show him the screen, hitting the spacebar to play a video.

It’s this video lmao

The footage shows the length of her bed, the camera seemingly hidden by the headboard.

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO realness!!! Yaaasss Queen

“Uh… sweetheart… what is this?” He asks carefully.

Wow. I didn't realize he would have this much trouble grasping the most basic of concepts 🙄😏

"I-I don't understand…," Bucky says, confusion clouding his head.

I’m cackling rn. I think he just needs to keep studying hard and he’ll eventually see the pay-off, 😂

“Do you remember when I told you my roommate moved out last semester?” She ignores his question. “I never told you why she moved out.”

Omg Promising Young Woman vibesss🥹

But, thankfully, she's doing better now – not great, but better.

Ok phew 😮‍💨 bc when she said “her life�� I was like 😰😰😰

Did you honestly think I was that clueless?

Oh wait…so the ape/monkey question at the beginning was really supposed to be a dumb question huh… 😳

"I've come to show you that you're wrong. That judgement day has finally come."

Yaaasss gurl, go all Old Testament god on his ass

Who's going to look out for them?

Maria comes in and is like, “well, I’m already constantly snooping around looking for lightbulbs that need to be turned off, so I guess I could do it”

acting very convincingly as an air-headed student the whole semester

Ok like….I don’t even think it was that dumb a question tho like aren’t apes and monkeys different animals??? RIGHT????? 😥😥😥

“And if you release that video, you think things will bode well for you? That my reputation is the only one that’ll be tarnished?"

Something something Kim K releasing the audio with Taylor and Kanye

While sleeping with his students is ethically wrong, it’s not illegal.

lyrics from “Problematic” by Bo Burnham

He’s lost, been bested. And by some damn college girl, no less. 

Haha his “if it weren’t for you meddling kids college girls” scooby doo villain moment

I loved this ending haha

Teacher’s Pet

College AU

Summary: It’s the start of a new semester and a student has caught Bucky’s eye. He wants to maintain a professional boundary between them, but can he hold himself back? For how long?

Pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Student!Reader

Word Count: ~9.1k (forgive me)

Warnings: language, Bucky is a narcissist, manipulation/grooming, deceit, abuse of power, praise kink-ish, mentions of depression/suicide ideation, SMUT 18+ (vaginal sex, rough sex, spanking), NON-CON aspects, additional warnings at the end

A/N: Hello! So, I know, it’s not a very original title for a teacher x student fic. But, whatever. Sue me. I need to warn you: dark fic ahead. While I normally like to be transparent in my warnings, in order to avoid spoilers, I have included additional warnings at the end of the fic. So, if you need to, please scroll to the bottom to read them before continuing. (Also, there’s spoilers hidden in the tags. So, feel free to avoid/check those depending on if you want to remain spoiler-free or not.) Anywho, this was written for @nastybuckybarnes​’ Nasty AU Challenge! Congrats on 7k, Lex! As a general disclaimer: I DO NOT condone the actions depicted below. To any and everyone who reads this, I hope you enjoy! Gif from Google.

Bucky writes on the whiteboard, making sure today’s lesson plan is laid out in great detail. He keeps his back to the students entering the classroom, but throws a “Welcome, take a seat” over his shoulder every time he hears the shuffle of feet. It’s the first day of the spring semester and Bucky wants to set a good standard for himself. He has a reputation to uphold, after all.

Five minutes before class starts, Bucky finishes writing out the lesson plan. Finally, he turns to face the class, getting a first look at the fresh meat for this semester.

It’s a relatively small class, but Bucky prefers it that way; it’s easier to get on a more one-on-one basis in smaller classes. Taking a quick head count, Bucky sees a few students still have to arrive. Hopefully they’ll be timely, he thinks. Being late on the first day is a hell of a way to make a first impression.

As if on command, the door at the back of the room opens. A young woman walks in, dressed in heavy winter gear in an attempt to bear the frigid January weather. Her head is slightly bowed as she walks through the room, heading to the front row. Once taking a seat, she shrugs out of her parka.

Bucky’s eyes immediately lock onto her chest – her low-cut blouse providing an ample viewing of her breasts. Well… that’s certainly one way to make a first impression. Checking his watch, he sees class has officially started.

Keep reading

[unwanted-animal]

Hey John! Have you been keeping up with ouat? I stopped watching right before rumple has really short hair? What's happened since?

this is gonna be long erin i’m so sorry 

-sucks in a breath-

So S5 ended with Belle putting herself in a sleeping curse so Rumple could save their baby. He does, and when he get back to storybrooke he takes Hades’ magic crystal and takes the magic from Storybrooke so he can try to wake her. He goes to new york, henry and violet and emma and regina chase him because wanting to wake your pregnant wife is TOTES EVIL GAIS so Snow tells the new villain, Mr. Hyde, that Rumple’s trying to wake his pregnant wife so Hyde steals her and they have to go to the land of untold stories to get her back

s6 starts with rumple getting her back and he goes to “Morpheus”, god of dreams, to wake her. but in the dream, when he’s trying to ease belle’s nightmares and wake her, “Morpheus” reveals himself to be their son all grown up somehow even though he’s a fetus inside belle and now belle is mad at rumple for tricking her when he DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING and so her unborn fetus kisses her and she wakes up and she storms back to storybrooke because reasons apparently.

Anyway she breaks up with rumple AGAIN - they’re married, I want to point out - and goes to stay on the jolly roger because living with the man who tried to kill you three times is apparently better than living with your husband who hasn;’t done ANYTHING wrong in a whole season but what the fuck ever right? anyway hyde is loose and rumple puts a spell on the boat to protect belle and keep the bad guys out but SURPRISE Dr Jekyll is the real bad guy and he was??? already on the boat??? so Hyde uses the dagger to force rumple to stand around useless as Jekyll tries to kill belle

and Captain Rape Bro gets to save her because this show can’t do a fucking thing without trying to paint Admitted Serial Killer and Drunk Captain Hook in a good light

rumple can’t like. look himself in the eyes in a mirror. so he cuts his hair because bob had to cut it for Trainspotting 2 and all their wigs were terrible and could not capture the majesty of the floof

so Belle yells terrible things at rumple for using the spell on the boat and says he cut his hair??? for her??? when no he did it because he hates himself you’ve known him for like a hundred years belle wtf and rumple gets mad and says yeah you’ll only be with me when you need me for something and they stay apart

Belle, throughout the next half season arc, continues to fucking come by rumple’s shop just to insult him. meanwhile regina drinks the potion to separate her and the evil queen just like hyde and jekyll did so the EQ is just. free. because lana is amazing and they wanted two of her. so, fuck yeah for that. but the EQ wants to jump Rumple’s bones even though they’ve NEVER had that sort of relationship and it was always mentor/student - you know, because rumple was in love with C O R A. Her MOM. 

anyway eq is like hey look we can speed up the pregnancy and rumple’s like alright and she kisses him a bunch and he goes to see belle but he doesn’t use the potion. belle uses the ‘IF YOU DO THIS WE’LL NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER’ line she’s been using since s5 because nothing says true love like literal emotional manipulation

so rumple dumps the eq 

there’s like some shears that can cut the strands of fate??? rumple wanted to use them to free their son from any ties to the darkness(tm) but hook gets a hold of them and rumple has decided that was dumb anyway

Belle refuses to let rumple anywhere near her or the child so when the EQ speeds up her pregnancy- which she blames rumple for, ugh - she gives baby Gideon to the Shady Blue Fairy.

Who gets beat up.

The baby is taken by the black fairy, rumple’s mum, and like taken to a land where he’s aged up into an emo brat

and again, belle blames rumple for this

also emma has dreams about a cloaked figure killing her and she thinks it’s regina but she’s also super anxious because OH NO SHE WANTS TO BE HOOK’S HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE HE DESERVES ONE AND SHE WANTS TO GIVE HIM BABIES TO MAKE HIM HAPPY and Archie is like “fuck this y’all need Jaybus they don’t pay me enough for this shit”

Anyway the figure turns out to be Gideon who wants to be the saviour.... because???

for some stupid reason Snowing is cursed so one half of them is always a sleep i think the EQ did that i don’t know

anyway the EQ gets ahold of... the lamp? something? and makes a wish that emma gets put in like her perfect world so she’s put into a wish realm where she’s a princess and she married Bae but he died and her parents are still the rulers and it’s kinda cute but Regina follows her in and pretends to be the EQ so she can wake emma up and she does!

Also hook’s old and grey and has a huge beer gut and it revitalized me

So emma and regina are gonna go home but then! LO! A ROBIN HOOD!

robin’s not even a hero anymore he’s just a fuckin layabout thief

in a Gay Panic(tm) regina’s like eeeeyyyyy come home with us bc i can’t exist without a white man in my life apparently and they have to go find pinnochio who’s still a shifty bastard and they go through a tree wardrobe back to storybrooke because fuck continuity 

and now gideon is back and he’s emoing all over storybrooke and there’s sexual tension between him and rumple ‘cause he blames rumple even though rumple didn’t do??? a fucking thing??? and rumple’s like ‘fine then punish me’ chicka bow but gideon’s dead set on becoming the saviour so prances about in his voldemort cloak and belle’s like ‘shit we messed up’ and i’m like ‘YOU messed up miss gold but whatever’ and they seem to be bonding but we all know adam and eddy hate the rumbelle fandom so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows

and that’s about where we are right now, s6 is still airing and it’s bad