#like personally it doesnt affect me enough to ruin my day or my mood or anything but damn

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

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[ddarker-dreams]

Online Love. Yan Shigaraki x Reader [Part 5]

Shigaraki has never had a full grasp on understanding others.

It’s never presented itself as an issue before, due to his unique lifestyle that doesn’t require him to rely upon others to the same extent most do. He doesn’t need to bend himself to the will of others. If anything, people need to mold themselves to his liking. 

There’s no place for coquettish remarks and hidden agendas for the people around Shigaraki. He wouldn’t care for it, and they’d be cut off without a second thought. 

So where do you fit into that? 

He doesn’t know himself. The black and white relationships that stay in neat, understandable boxes for him are all but wrecked by your presence. Where his underlings bite their tongue and present themselves to his liking, you feel no obligation to do the same.

You live as you please, speaking to him as you please. The rules he’s used to don’t apply to you, you don’t even know they exist in the first place. If anyone acted as you did towards Shigaraki, they’d undoubtedly be killed for it. 

There’s a fondness that’s reserved solely for you. 

Even so, he can’t help but feel aggravated at how you’ve been treating him lately. The past three days have been a miserable stretch, his mood taking a turn for the worst. Not due to anything you’ve said to him, no, but because of the opposite.

You haven’t messaged him in seventy-two hours. 

This has never happened before, in the entire time he has known you. In the past three days you’ve not logged onto any of your games, responded to his messages, or uploaded on social media. He’s aware of the fact that you’re physically fine -- a bit of stalking ensured that nothing had happened to you.

A part of him almost wishes that was the case, so he could make sense of it. It would be undoubtedly easier to digest the situation, and he could get you out of the situation with ease.

But the aspect of the unknown is what troubles him the most. His mind wonders pathetically, grasping at any straws to make sense of why you’ve been living your life normally; just without him. 

Staring at his monitor in the dim light of his room, Shigaraki grimaces at the blinking cursor in front of him. Coarse fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting so desperately to seek you out; but unsure of how to go about it. He wants to demand an explanation. 

Were you really able to live your life peacefully without him? Did Shigaraki delude himself of the symbiotic relationship he once believed you two shared? 

His teeth ache from the hours spent grinding together, neck raw from constant scratching. Sleep has all but evaded him, as he spent hours painfully waiting for you to come back to him. For things to go back into the routine he was used to. 

Your absence serves as a reminder of how much he needs you. 

Narrowing his bloodshot eyes, he abruptly stands from his trash covered desk and stalks over towards the door. How dare you ignore him, how dare you treat him like this! Did he mean nothing to you all along? Have you just been waiting for the chance to cut him off, having been secretly disgusted by him all along?

Fury masks over any secret feelings of hurt, Shigaraki intent on demanding Kurogiri to warp him over to you. He’d get an explanation one way or another. Even if he had to pry it from you. Staying idle any longer would surely be the death of him.

Before he opens the door, he hears the custom alert. The one that he had set for you, so he could always know when you were messaging him. 

Shigaraki’s mind goes blank as he goes back over to his computer. He wonders if it was imagined, only to be disproved by a message from you on his screen.

From: [First] 2:06 AM

hello tomo-kun

That... that’s it? Mouth slightly agape from confusion, Shigaraki’s mind races with countless responses. Ranging from cruel words directed at you for ignoring him for so long, to inquiring about what even caused it in the first place. But none of them are typed out as he delivers an equally mundane response. 

To: [First] 2:06 AM

Hey

Anyone else would’ve been facing the wrath of hell right now, but Shigaraki manages to contain himself. Knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him or discarded him was enough to momentarily distract him from his previous rage. Biting his finger nails that were already short from countless hours of similar activity, he awaits your response. 

From: [First] 2:10 AM 

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around... 

From: [First] 2:11 AM

i’ve been having kinda a bad time lately with some stuff. but if it’s okay with you can we play some comp? i kinda just wanna take my mind off it. if you’re not busy that is 

It isn’t concern that he feels, but an undying curiosity. If something major had happened to you, like a death of a loved one, he would’ve known about it by now. What could’ve happened that upset you this much that he wasn’t alerted about? 

Shigaraki silently ponders to himself. Maybe he needs better scouts. 

To: [First] 2:12 AM 

Whatever you want, idm

An immediate response. 

From: [First] 2:12 AM

thank u, i appreciate it

From: [First] 2:13 AM

aaa i feel so dumb. im sorry im sure i worried you. i just havent been in the mood to talk to anyone. its nothing like crazy or anything im fine, just some life stuff 

Shigaraki’s never been the best at comforting people, as it’s a task that he’s never been given. He can barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. But in situations like this, he feels you’re supposed to offer something. Only for you would he stretch himself in this way.

To: [First] 2:15 AM 

What happened 

It might seem like a lackluster response, but to anyone who knows Shigaraki it would come as a surprise. People’s personal affairs have never interested him in the slightest, but you’re a unique case. 

From: [First] 2:16 AM

wellllll its kinda stupid but ig it doesnt hurt to tell you lmao 

From: [First] 2:17 AM

ive... ive had a crush on this guy for a long time. we’ve known one another for a few years, stuff like that. anyways i worked up the courage to ask him out and he got upset at me. saying stuff like im ruining our friendship. it was just really bad, and ever since then ive been on auto pilot 

The word crush hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s incapable of focusing on anything else in that moment, as time all but comes to a stop. His breathing uneven, and hands shaky; he sits back from the light of his screen. Disgust isn’t the right word for it, it doesn’t begin to describe the barrage of emotions he’s experiencing. 

You liked someone. You liked someone that isn’t him. 

Even if he actually wanted to, he couldn’t fake a decent response to your message. All along he’s been under the impression that you may return his feelings. That all the little gestures meant you treasure him on the same level he does you, and that you would one day be his. 

Hours spent daydreaming of you sweetly confessing to him come to mind, as his vision goes red. 

It doesn’t matter how. He’s going to find out who this cesspool of human waste is, he’s going to savor tearing each limb from their body and take pleasure in his screams of agony. Shigaraki will take care of this individual personally, wanting them to suffer in the same way he has. 

There isn’t any way you could like someone else. This all has to be a joke, a cruel prank with an eventual punchline. There’s no other way to make sense of it. No one else could be even remotely deserving of your affections other than him, and no one will ever have them if he could do anything about it.

He will figure out what to do with you and your betrayal later. For now, only this apple of your eye has his attention. Countless cruel ideas flood his thoughts like a tidal wave, a malicious grin breaking out onto his face. 

Shigaraki will make them pay.

[insomniacandtired]

Headcanons #2

Can you do another Irene/Seulgi/Joohyun?The first one was a banger, bro.👌

First of all, Irene and Joohyun love taking care of their princess

Anything she needs, she gets

Seulgi is the most spoiled princess ever

Or at least she would be, if she wasn’t who she was

All Seulgi cares about is making sure she was a good girl, and that her mommies never had a reason to punish her

They found reasons anyways, just so they could have fun with their baby

Seulgi’s only flaw is that she thinks too much about being a good girl, to the point where she ends up misbehaving

The twins feel really bad about it sometimes, since they’re both kinda scatterbrained

If they end up forgetting something, Seulgi automatically blames it on herself, and it takes a long time for Irene and Joohyun to convince her she didn’t do anything wrong

Would you please write an exid smut with dom!solji? Preferably lesol but you can choose the pairing if that doesnt work. Thank you!

Solji isn’t the kind of dom most would think her to be

With her mostly happy disposition, you’d think she was either a harsh sadist or not a dom at all

Instead, she’s the kind of dom that can make you feel guilty as hell about misbehaving with nothing but a look

LE’s the kind of person that isn’t normally a sub

Hell, she’s not even a switch

But when she’s with Solji, she can’t be anything else

She surrenders to Solji in an instant, laying back and letting her have her way

When Solji isn’t there, LE is the badass rapper we all know and love, but the moment Solji steps into the room, she transforms into a whiny lapdog

Behind closed doors, Solji likes to take LE and tie her to the bed, teasing her for hours before she finally takes mercy

By the end of it all LE’s whining and whimpering and can’t even remember her own name

As an experiment, Solji slips a collar around LE’s throat one time, and realizes LE likes it a lot more than she thought she would when she comes explosively with a scream

After that it’s hard to find LE without her collar on, even when Solji isn’t there

can i request sugarmommy!jihyo and babygirl!dahyun, please?

Jihyo owns the office building Dahyun interns at, and for a while, that was all there was between them

One day Dahyun is informed that her rent is going up, and when that was added to her student loans and the debt her father left her with, she realized there was no way she’d be able to afford enough food to stay alive

Swallowing her pride, she goes to the CEO in her best clothes with a resume and cover letter and begs for a job

Jihyo informs her that there aren’t any positions open, and Dahyun almost cries, before something she’d only ever read about pops into her mind, and she realizes it might be the answer to her problems

She’s already at rock bottom, she had nothing to lose

Proposing the idea to Jihyo, she’s surprised that the CEO accepts

At first Jihyo doesn’t ask for much besides her company, but Dahyun realizes the amount she receives is affected by how far they go

She still has some pride, so she doesn’t go further than kissing for a long time

When she and Jihyo finally grow closer, she decides that it’s not about the money anymore, and let’s Jihyo have her way with her

She cries when her ‘allowance’ goes up, convincing herself that Jihyo is only interested in her because she’s paying Dahyun for sex

It’s only when she calls herself a prostitute in Jihyo’s presence that the mistake gets addressed

Their relationship changes, but the biggest difference is Jihyo’s title changing from Sugar Mommy to girlfriend

hi, hope your days going well! can I request some nsfw viseul? love your page!

First of all, despite what it seems like, Vivi is definitely the “mother” of that relationship

She does her best to look after Haseul and provide for her, being the most supportive girlfriend ever

Most of the time they're soft as hell for each other, but every once in a while, Haseul decides she wants to be a bit bratty that day

And things get steamy

As supportive as Vivi is, she's just as strict

She does not approve of any rule breaking, even if it's just playful, and will always punish Haseul the moment she steps out of line

Haseul has long since figured out she's a low-key masochist, so the punishments aren't much of a deterrent

Vivi's favorite method is good ole fashioned spanking, but she occasionally strays to more exotic forms

Haseul is a big fan of shibari, even with the denial that goes along with it

Vivi was surprisingly into cockwarming

The sight of Haseul squirming on her lap, the long strap on nearly fully sheathed inside her, was almost too much to bear

Since we’re talking about girls being called daddy here, would it be okay to ask for Daddy!Seulgi and Babygirl!Yeri? Maybe something about Yeri cockwarming Daddy!Seulgi’s strap and being all super cute and whiny about it?

could you please write mommy!irene and daddy!seulgi with babygirl!wendy

i really, really love your works omg... maybe can i request a yermseul one? these two have been so close lately and we know the biggest crush yeri have on seulgi. So maybe a jealous!seulgi x yeri???

hello! do you have any yerene headcanons?? could you please say some of them please?

I can see a lot of you are on the same train of thought. I've decided to combine these asks, since they're pretty similar. Mommy Irene, Daddy Seulgi, babygirls Wendy and Yeri. I'm not sure where Joy would fit in. Maybe Yeri and Wendy's friend that Irene and Seulgi want to bring into their dynamic? Anyone has any thoughts, let me know, alright? So in this au, Seulgi and Irene are married. They seduced Yeri, an intern at Seulgi's firm. Yeri moved in with them and became their babygirl, never having to worry about a thing besides her schooling. Eventually she learned that her best friend, Wendy, was going through some financial troubles and persuaded Irene and Seulgi into letting her join them.

Yeri's been spending too much time with Irene lately, and not enough with her

At least, that's what Seulgi thinks

She watches as her lovely wife dances around the kitchen, tickling Wendy and peppering Yeri's face with kisses

It was a scene that she loved to come home to, their happy laughter washing away her stress and calming her down

That doesn't stop the dark pit of jealousy in her

She knew she was jealous, and she knew she really had nothing to worry about, but she couldn't stop herself from doing something about it

That evening, while she worked on the dishes with her baby, she set her plan to work

Unzipping her trousers, she pulled out the strap she had hidden and slipped it up the back of Yeri's skirt

Yeri froze, glancing over her shoulder and whimpering at the sight of Seulgi's scowl

Without a word, she slipped Yeri's panties to the side and sank into her, burying the strap in her lithe body

Yeri sighs out a weak “daddy…” as it enters her, but quickly realizes Seulgi's plan when she doesn't start to move

She whimpers, making Seulgi chuckle

“Such a good little slut, taking daddy so well. No moving, baby, I want you to feel me.”

She makes Yeri continue with the dishes, whispering filth in her ears the whole while, rubbing her sides and nibbling at her neck

Yeri can barely stand, but she keeps going, unwilling to be punished

By the time she finishes, Yeri's bent over the counter, desperately trying not to come

Seulgi, pulls out and turns to leave, just to be an ass, only to see Irene sitting at the table with Wendy in her lap, gently making their other baby come on her fingers

She has a dangerous look in her eye as she stares at Seulgi challengingly

“Don't let us stop you. Weren't you just about to finish?”

Seulgi grumbles, her plan ruined, but follows her wife's order, kneeling on the tile and hiking Yeri's skirt up to her hips

Yeri is squirming on her tongue in an instant, gasping for air as Seulgi pulls out every trick she knows

Irene watches smugly, kissing all over Wendy's face and neck

Wendy is trembling, but she lets Irene do as she pleases, too trusting to put up even the smallest bit of resistance

Irene cherishes that trust, doing her absolute best to make sure that all her girls are taken care of and happy, satisfying herself with their comfort

They manage to make Yeri and Wendy come at the same time, their babies collapsing bonelessly in the wake

They bring them to the master bedroom, the bed tere large enough to easily contain them all

They fall asleep together, content in the presence of their loves

hey, u write for momoland?

I do, as long as it doesn't involve Nancy.

Can you make a mihyo story for me? They're my favorite ship in twice. ^^

Jihyo was tired

It had been a long day at work, her boss yelling at her a total of five times (a new record)

All she wanted was to sleep

Instead, as she opened the door to her apartment she noticed an extra pair of shoes on the mat, shoes that she knew very well, considering she had bought them

Her bad mood vanished instantly, replaced with excitement as she rushed into the kitchen

Her girlfriend was there, dancing like a feather as she sang along with the radio

She paused in front of the stove, and Jihyo sighed happily at the sight of Mina's happy smile

Mina heard her, twirling over to her to wrap her arms around Jihyo's neck and plant a soft kiss on her lips, both of them smiling too much to kiss properly

“I thought you were in Japan, how are you here?”

Mina reveals that she managed to finish up a few days early and came back to surprise Jihyo

They eat cuddled up close, neither having room to use their utensils properly, but neither particularly cared, content in being close after a week of being apart

After finishing up and cleaning the dishes, they go to bed

They're both exhausted, but neither can fall asleep, letting out sleepy giggles and giving each other little kisses

“You have no idea how much I needed this today. I love you so much, baby…”

Mina chuckles, her eyes fluttering closed

“Mmm...love you too…”

can we get a teacher! momo and student! dahyun au/fic with subby dahyun): she baby

It's Dahyun's first year in university

She's nervous, she doesn't know anyone, she's away from home

It makes sense that she'd latch on to the pretty dance professor that's so nice to her

Even when she starts to make friends and go out more, she'll always choose Momo over any other plans, obviously infatuated

Despite what people say, Momo isn't stupid, nor does she take unnecessary risks

She explains to Dahyun that nothing can happen between them, since she's a student

Dahyun agrees, but doesn't change, continuing to prioritize Momo

When she finally graduates, she asks Momo out - impressed by her dedication, Momo agrees

Unsurprisingly, Dahyun likes to role play

Specifically, professor and naughty student

Momo isn't as into it, mostly just going along with it to make Dahyun happy, but she still has fun

Dahyun loves it when Momo brings her to functions

She likes to hang off Momo's arm, showing herself off as Momo's pretty little plaything

She's quite smart, but she likes to pretend to be vapid eye candy

Mommy!Yves taking care of sick Baby!Chuu? Super fluffy please?

Jiwoo doesn't get sick often, which is good, because when she does she can't really do anything for herself, she she really doesn't want to scare off Sooyoung

Sooyoung is always composed and serious, and Jiwoo is always trying to make herself more mature so Sooyoung doesn't get annoyed with her, so seeing her the way she gets when she's sick would probably make her break up with her

Unfortunately, she got sick

Even worse, it was a day that Sooyoung was supposed to come over to help her with her coursework, and Jiwoo had completely forgotten about it

Sooyoung let herself in with the key Jiwoo had given her

She found Jiwoo wrapped up in a blanket, sniffling, staring at her water bottle

Jiwoo is unresponsive until Sooyoung confusedly hands her her drink, brow furrowed as Jiwoo perks up immediately

Sooyoung puts on cartoons for her, doing her best to help her with everything she needs as she tries to figure out what's going on

She only finds out when Jiwoo tells her the next day

To Jiwoo's surprise, Sooyoung doesn't leave

She enjoyed taking care of Jiwoo, and didn't find Jiwoo's regression all that weird

After that, Jiwoo starts to be herself more, and finds that Sooyoung is actually a lot warmer to her when she's acting less mature

She liked to take care of Jiwoo, and since Jiwoo liked to be taken care of, it works out perfectly

im still thinking about seolbo relationship in pretty girl  more seolbo plz

Seola is the strictest dom ever

It's rare for her to be lax about anything, but when she is, Bona takes advantage of it immediately

She likes to tease Seola, which almost always leads to her being bent over and punished, wherever they are

Despite that, Seola takes care of her girl

Whenever Bona feels down, Seola is always there to cheer her up and make her feel better

Bona can never hide when she's feeling down, not from Seola

She knows her too well

Instead of trying to hide it anymore, she just goes to Seola, quietly sidling up to her in the middle of whatever she's doing and pressing her head against her, waiting patiently for Seola to finish up and pull her into her arms

They never have any of those sugary sweet moments that so many other couple have, but they don't need to

They know they love each other, and they're quietly content with that

hi! i love your headcanons and writing. if you’re okay with it and/or ever have time, would sunmi/yves be something you’d consider writing for?

Sunmi and Yves are rival CEOs for modelling company, constantly battling for photo shoots and cfs

Whenever they're seen in public together, they're either glaring at each other or passive aggressively bragging and trying to one up each other

In private, however…

Up against walls, against windows, over counters, over the back of the couch, against the door, even in the middle of the floor

They're constantly doing their best to wreck the other, fucking each other into next week

Neither of them bottoms or tops, instead turning it into a battle to see who can make the other beg

Eventually, it becomes normal to wake up next to each other, make each other breakfast, even start to find themselves thinking about each other

It takes them a long time to realize they don't actually hate each other

[sapphic-bifrost]

i remember when i found out something about my ex that was the last straw and destroyed the last hope i had that she’d ever be a big enough person to actually truly have unselfish empathy and understanding and properly explain or apologize to me for the way she treated me, and which destroyed the last secret forgiveness that i was still holding onto and waiting to give to her. and it made me so furious and so deeply hurt. i told even my most mellow friends and those that always try to play devil’s advocate and see things from the other pov in a situation for the sake of avoiding bias and looking at a situation objectively and fairly, and even they couldnt even begin to find a good excuse for her. ive truly never seen those people that angry at anyone else ever. and i just made me feel like id swallowed acid and made me regret for the first time that i ever loved her at all

but then my boyfriend. my beautiful beautiful boyfriend. when i went to see him that day he knew something was wrong right away and listened to me and held me and calmed me down when he sensed me spiralling or dissociating, when i’d finished telling him and later once we’d moved on to just chatting and hugging and talking sweetly, i’d keep retreating into my mind to start thinking anxiously again and he noticed and would do mental exercises with me to keep me calm and present and in the moment. he reminded me of all the things that are wonderful about me, and i believed him. and i just feel? so supported with him and he pays attention to me and i dont feel like i have to be pretending to smile all the time or suppressing bad moods or trying to pretend to be happy so as to not ruin something for him. he notices when im unhappy without me having to tell him and he’s comfortable not hiding when he’s unhappy from me and neither of us lets it be a roadblock to affection or showing care for each other. We take special care to comfort each other instead of being dismissive or just going about as usual and it sounds like such a basic thing but its not something i had in my last romantic relationship. and it was even more important then bc my mental health was much worse when i was with my ex, and i needed support a lot more often and rarely got what i needed. and i got used to feeling like i could only depend on the experience of interacting with my partner to be a positive one if i was already in a good mood, and that if i was in a bad mood or needed support then i needed to find it elsewhere because she wasnt capable or willing to put in the effort required. and i knew i didnt like it and tried my best to communicate it many many times before giving up, but i still didnt realize just how heavy of a heart i walked around with all that time. i didnt realize until my heart wasnt heavy anymore. its not now, not with him. loving him doesnt poison me. heaven knows how grateful i am to be treated like this at last, and what it cost to learn the difference

[inmomni]

No. 16

What is wrong with me

It seems like at every twist and turn, my feelings, my state of being is always at the mercy of something else: blood sugar is bad, i havent vaped in a while, i feel like i want to smoke, small things that set me off, these days small things that annoy the hell out of me, and the list goes on.  I used to not care, things wouldnt bother me, whether it was because, like Mindy said, I didnt care enough in the beginning to have things affect me, or just cause it wasnt really a big deal.  But now, it seems that every little thing is the end of the world if i dwell on it long enough. Its always tied back to my character, and who I am, and always comes back to thinking about how shitty of a person i am.  Its like the opposite of narcissism, where its more in a  self-depricating light, where i cannot detach myself from certian situations to make it all about myself. I always have to be the issue, I am always the problem.  And honestly, there isnt a way that i have found yet to talk myself out of this.  Like today with mindy, the noise was really annoying of her moving the laptop around on top of her bed.  I asked her to turn the volume down, the input volume, so i directed her after it got petty-ly unbearible, to the place where she could lower the input or switch it to her headphones.  But during the entire thing, i was thinking about how petty this was, and how emotional i was getting over this seemingly not a big deal situation.  In my head, me welling up with frustration was indicating the cracks in my character as I perceive them.  Why was i getting mad over this? Why is this setting me off? Then I began to think, “Inmo get this under control otherwise youre not going to be able to talk with Mindy tonight and that will spell certain disaster for the next day to come.” My mindset then changed to, “okay, how do i get out of this spiral”, so i whipped out New Morning Mercies and started reading, i took a couple more hits of the vape, and I tried to calm down.  But by that point, my face was screaming “IM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD” and Mindy was starting to take notice.  By that point, I was going full blast at myself:  “Youre terrible” “Why are you in such a bad mood?” “Youre ruining Mindy’s mood too at this point, and i bet she just wanted to end her day nicely with her boyfriend” “You cant even give her that?” “Im SorryIm SorryIm SorryIm SorryIm SorryIm SorryIm SorryIm Sorry...”

That seems to be my favorite phrase these days, “I’m Sorry”, for all the crap im bringing to the table, to the countless days where i have ruined everything cause of my foul temper, for influencing you in ways that are not good, for the hurt and pain i am causing you for not getting my act together, for not being the type of boyfriend you need at this point, for being so immature in my thinking, for doing so many stupid things to hurt you, for constantly breaking down in front of you, for lying to you, for not being the same type of person as you to spend all day with, for needing my time away from you, for not being adequate for you (in my own head when you tell me that im doing okay, and i dont believe you), for saying stupid shit, for being late all the time, for being so lazy, for not going out, for not being good about planning dates or keeping my word at times, for lacking respect in myself therefore not trusting you as much as i should sometimes, for lashing out when its my shit im going through and i dump it on you, for always seeming to make excuses, for not owning up to my mistakes, for not knowing/freezing up when i need to move “Im sorry” into action, for still making so many mistakes...I just feel so guilty at this point,  Everytime i mess up  seems to be adding to a stack i can never repay.  I need to learn how to move on, to get over it and keep going.  I stop at every crack and uneven patch of pavement, wondering why is it like this when i could simply jualjnfskfjas;kdfhja;sfjbha sl.  

I broke down yesterday... again.  God, im scared,  Of what im becoming.  Because it doesnt seem like this is the kind of person you want me to be. Actually, maybe i dont even know who you want me to be.  I dont know anything about myself, at least in a correct lens of how you view me and how you feel about me.  Maybe i still imagine you as a king in the clouds, sitting on his throne with a quiver of lighting bolts ready to smite me whenever i fuck up.  Maybe i dont understand this kind of love that is so radical enough to love me, to want me, to have the best things in mind for me.  God, I want to know myself in a way that you know/see me.  Teach my about myself, reveal the true condition of my heart, in a gospel centered way.  One that points out the mess but gets to work on it, not the kind that just points and stares.  And God, would you protect Mindy.  I know you have her best interests in mind and that youre constantly looking out for her.  God i want to pray that tonight she sleeps in peace cause i really messed up.  I think i made her feel like my bad mood was a direct result of herself.  Which it wasnt, and i cant pinpoint why it flipped just by that damn sound, making me even more frustrated and causing me to spiral even deeper to the point where my mood is soiled.  Fix me God, I need your grace in my life. I need it so bad, the mercies that are new every morning, i need it. I need it to survive and to be with you, my sustinance.  God, help me to do QT tomorrow morning, to reflect and start the day with you.  And as i go into tomorrow, would you be my strength, my power, my sanity, my all.  Jesus i need you.  Jesus i want to know you so much more.  God save me.  I need you.

[slowlifeaway]

Look who’s bored (again) and decided to do random questions: Random questions by questionlisting @ tumblr

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick lol, my oversensitive teeth cant bear cold 

2. What is home to you? where im feeling myself best

3. What was the last lie you told? i was busy this weekend

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? i guess?

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? furby lmao

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. actually scolded my friend for eating too much cos her size was reaching XL and i was pretty sure i made her feel bad 

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) wha?

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? cant remember :/ thats how stagnant my life/work life is

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? 1 probably. I love sleeping.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? soft gesture.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? 1

12. What is your paradise? where i can no longer worry about anything

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) i love asmr! and sound of cafe (glass clinking, people murmuring, keyboard tapping sounds)

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? 3? and a lot more if it involves my family.

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? they made human lives easier

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? cos they are attractive, yeah i do.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? pestering me about something im not comfortable with

18. Do you overexaggerate? yes lmao

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? flute

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? sometimes, if i feel good enough to put makeup

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? i kinda made money more than my peers, my individuality, and my ability to remember songs/lyrics/melodies

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? if you practice, you’ll get better

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? no. i cant even held my life together

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? good food and a reaaaaaly long nap

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? oh i do that everyday

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? 85% introvert

27. What constitutes a good friend? being able to put up with me is good enough

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? one best friend

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? bad news?

30. What is your dream job? bakery, florist, idek i have many lol

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? lazy but smart

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? i dated lmao

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? how does it feel when you have to hide your arousal in public AHAHAHA

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? kingdom hearts’ twilight town

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. those that feel superior to you and ignore you when you care

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? i’ll find where my original body is

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? i’d memorise, burn and then sell fake recipe.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? cooking class

39. Name the last book you read. Lagom: The Swedish Art of Balanced Living

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? yeah totally

41. When was the last time you made the first move? long long time ago

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? i dont enjoy them

43. What was the last movie you watched? MI6

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? yeah i do

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? depends on my mood

46. When was the last time you cried? like..an hour ago when i watch youtube lol

47. What are you scared of? not being able to live up my parents expectation

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? being awkward in front of old and new friend 

49. What are some of your hobbies? sleeping, reading, swimming

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? im lazy

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i care. i listen, but im very bad at giving advice.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? idek man

53. What have you learned the hard way? life isnt as great as what i’ve imagined

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? be yourself

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) i sing a lot, and draw a lot

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? mix of both

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? save money lol

58. What is your ideal meal? fresh and savoury

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? breaking up on the spot

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? dog is my fav animal ever

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? overloading employee with works or design revision is illegal after 5 revisions LOL

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? yeeeee

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? MEMES, definitely memes.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Kingdom Hearts

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? it’s too much

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? no. 9:20 AM

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? A Cinderella Story, Sora

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? countryside pls

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? near the ocean

70. What are the best things about winter? christmas is coming

71. What scares you most about the future? career and me settling down

72. What makes you feel old? when all the youngsters enter workforce

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average?  almost 12 hours it actually scares me

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions?  lose weight hahahaha

75. What is your life story in 6 words? emotional introvert struggles with meme-filled life

76. Describe yourself in one word. average

77. What bad habits do you do? overthinking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? pop, classical, country, soft rock

79. Most prominent childhood memory? first time going to a movie

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? life probably easier lol, but i will never change my brother though. 

81. Spirit animal? raccoon

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? yes?

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? i dont remember, perhaps it sucks so much it doesnt have existence in my memory

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. my parents, my friends, my grandma

85. Favorite memory of your family. travelling together

86. What do you look for in a relationship? someone i can open up to

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? melodee morita, marzia, all these amazing ladies that is doing great things in life

88. What is your opinion on social media? neat

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? 50% 50%

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? designer anything

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? being stalked inside subway until my stop

92. What superpower would ruin the world? nuclear anything

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? makeup and girly things ahahah!

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? this question is tiring for me hahahha

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? sweden

96. How do you approach people? talk to them

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? important

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? play with neighbour, sending letters

99. What languages can you speak? indonesian, english, very basic chinese and very limited japanese, and im trying to learn swedish

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? i hope better than today

101. What do you do on your lazy days? sleeping

102. What ended your last relationship? we both ignore each other when i left for college

103. Favorite food? currently: jjangmyeon

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? someone i love dearly passed away

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? idek, i have no feelings hahahaa

106. What was the last friendship you broke? junior high

107. Do you have any pet peeves? none

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? my friend

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? last week

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? cowardice 

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? my friend who is younger but more mature than me

112. What is your biggest motivation? my family, 

113. What did you want to be when you were little? just a normal person with a very happy life lol

114. What are some things that you are good at? typography?

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? motion graphics, socializing

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? feels haha

117. How important is privacy to you? VERY

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? no idea

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? hmmm

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? any fun stories

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? people licking back their spit lol

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone?  i never tried this

123. What is your morning routine? wake, bath, skincare, work

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? i resigned hoho

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? i hope it helps me

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" i do this all the time this is why im single af now

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? you can hurt people, but you’re honest

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? ?

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both

130. What do you admire most about your friends? they’re much more mature than me and capable of things more than me

131. What do you admire most about your family? we are cold to each other but we still care lol

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" great motto?

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? listening

134. When is it time to end a friendship? if one of you have crossed the boundaries

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? sorry my family is in town so i cant go lol

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? cooking?

137. What are your favorite baby names? Namine & Nerine

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? last week

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? mobile phones!

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. voice & overly large muscles hahaha

141. Biggest disappointment. myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? surprisingly well.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? last week

144. Prized possession(s)? anything my favourite people gave me

145. What is your opinion on second chances? depends

146. Text or call? TEXT!

147. What do you like about the 21st century? convenient and safe

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? why are u like this

149. How organized are you? i can be ocd or messy, depends on my mood

150. Favorite mode of transportation. bus

[flauntedpixels]

Alllllll the questions for Delilah

Oh lordy this is gonna take so long LOL..01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?I was creating her and listening to "Hey there Delilah" so it just was perfect. 02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?Delilah HATES bugging people, she feels like she bothers everyone she talks to, so sometimes she gets sad about it and stops talking to them for a while so they don't get bothered by her.03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?D really likes her eyes or her nose.04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)No lover :( I will skip all of these probably.05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?She is pretty sexually confident.06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?No lover.07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?"LOL" "Dude" "Oh my god"08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?Being too clingy, and yes she is aware.09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?Summer is her favorite season so she can surf and wear shorts, flip flops and hats.10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?For sure more feminine.11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?Someone talking bad about her sister and her sisters bad decisions.12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?Surfing probably13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?Heavy sleeper, she doesn't steal the blanket, she used to sleep talk as a kid but she doesn't anymore.14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?She lives alone.15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.Her mother.16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?She is definitely athletic, and surfing is her favorite but she also enjoys soccer & cheer (high school).17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?All the time!18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? A beach house right on the water.19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?No, D doesn't like to fight usually.20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?Shes obsessed with dogs but she doesn't have one.21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?Her sister passing away, or her mother coming back and trying to come into her life after all of these years. She would shut down completely and ignore the world.22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? D has two freckles on her right cheek, an arrow tattoo on her left arm, flowers on her right arm, a quote on her ribs and a wave on her collar bone.23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?She was pretty well behaved and excelled at math and science.. she didn't do too well in English or history though. 24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?No lover.25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?Her fathers death & her mother being in prison.26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?No lover.27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?Trespassing, D loves to explore and go on adventures..28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?For being a professional surfer more than likely.29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?Calling the cops on her own mother when she was dealing drugs from their home.. that sounds bad but it was for the better.30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?D LOVES to paint and draw.. she hasn't done it much lately but she used to paint quite frequently.31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?NEVER32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?She would want to go surfing in hot spots all over the world and camp on the beach for weeks with a lover.33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?The beach or her roof.34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)LOL don't even get me started, tacos, sushi, pizza, fries, etc. D LOVES food.35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?She's terrified of death.. preferably she would like to go in her sleep.36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?Nope.37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?People who bite their nails, don't care about their general cleanliness, etc.38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?She's a big lover of the rain and the sunshine. 39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?They might think she's a bitch, they're half right.. LOL. 40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?She's heavily into some sexual stuff but she doesn't voice it.41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?Oh of course, her fathers death ruined her from the young age of 4.. and her mom being put away hurt her too.42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?Not holding onto past lovers hard enough, shes only had 2 guys that shes ever LOVED. 43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?This depends on the person.. shes usually herself around people.44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?Losing her sister or her best friend Issy.45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?Most of the time she hides her emotions, but if it's bad enough she wears her heart on her sleeve.46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?No lover.47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?She's very outgoing.. shes the one who is always bugging people to go on adventures with her.48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? If someone was talking to her boyfriend in a sexual or flirty way.. but she doesnt have one.. so..49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?D has frequent nightmares of her watching her father being killed in the army and her being stuck behind a wall of glass and not being able to help him as he dies in front of her.... these nightmares often put her in an upset mood for a few days after the nightmare.50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?Something like 'you make me so happy, i cant live without you.." etc.