#like part of me is glad i read it bc recently I HAD been wondering like. what IS the siths endgoal

[knife-em0ji]

Just finished the darth plagueis book from Star Wars legends and hhhhhogh like. It was certainly a book. I liked the insight into palpatine’s backstory otherwise HATED hate how the whole premise of it was “hey what if every anti-Semitic conspiracy theory was real. That’s what the sith is” like it could’ve had more plausible deniability on that front if plagueis was literally anything other than a muun and luceno hadn’t made muuns Like That but I digress. Anyway the star wars EU is a place where pizzagate could reasonably happen so like. Maybe it’s good Disney retconned darth fuckhands mcmike.

[choccy-milky]

Hi Darling! First of all.. OMG I REALLYYY REALLYYYY LOVE YOUR FIC ♥️♥️♥️! I've been a silent reader for too long and this is the first time I came to the surface to thank you for this amazing fic and art that you've made.

I also have gathered my courage to ask you this. But headcanonically (if that's even a word but wtv 😭) in your fic world. Did Sebastian ever court or interested in someone before Clora? I had a wild thought that he was into someone and had courted them but wouldn't last long because he had to take care of Anne and this lass he courted was tired of his rambling about Anne this and Anne that. Sebastian decided that they should end things because not appreciating Anne means not appreciating him.

And when he dated Clora. He met her again. She desperately wants him back and apologises (She does have another intention though). He declines because he's already ill with her and is now crazy in love with our darling Clora. He chooses not to tell Clora about this. But I wonder what happened if Clora knows tho.

ANYWAY! THANK YOU FOR READING MY LONG ASS WILD THOUGHTS BUT I AM AN ANGST GIRL IN THIS ANGST LIFE. 😭😭😭💙💙💙

AW THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME💖💖IM GLAD TO HEAR IT💖💖 AND OK its funny you bring this up bc i actually planned for sebastian to have a bit of an internal monologue in my most recent chap about the girls he's had a crush on (before clora--omg... B.C), but i ended up cutting it out because it was part of a deleted scene. but no seb has never actually dated/courted anyone before clora, tho he defs did have crushes....but if he WAS with another girl before clora....🤔🤔hmm🤔🤔 i guess it would depend when in their relationship clora found out? if it was at the beginning when clora was still really shy/nervous/self conscious, it would obviously make her even moreso, and she would have compared herself and wondered if she was good enough and if she was doing things right. and i feel like that early in the relationship, if that other girl DID come back and try and get with seb, clora might actually be worried they'd get together again, esp if she ever saw them talking (kinda like the lawley situation, but in reverse BAHA) if it was NOW though and clora just suddenly found out....LMAOO oh boy. she'd obvs be like why did u never tell me, and itd go something like this: seb: "it was brief enough that i didn't see any point in mentioning it--we hadn't even snogged." clora: "well, it just so happens that i was with a boy before you, too. but we hadn't snogged either, so by your logic, i guess you don't care." seb: ".........." seb: "........alright, point proven." (and then seb would be all worried and confirm that she hadnt actually been with anyone before him/that she was just messing with him, and shed be like LMAO YES IT WAS JUST FOR ARGUMANTS SAKE OBVS) anyway clora might be sad for a bit but she'd get over it pretty quick, since she knows seb is so devoted to her/hed make it a point to be a huge simp for her to show her he has no leftover feelings for anyone else LOL (like how he was after the relic incident & during her period) honestly its just hard to make clora jealous in the first place, bc seb is such a mega simp for her LMFAO. and aS HE SHOULD BE!!!👇🧎‍♂️

[killerpillar]

any book recs? looking for something to hold me over inbetween your updates! anything you’ve found yourself pulling inspo from for your fic or that you think a fellow levi fan would love?

hi!!! ofc, i've got plently of fic recs, i'm pretty sure i've read 80% of all levi fics on ao3 atp😭 I sadly have not had the time to read as many fics nowadays like I used to, but here are some of my all time favs!!

(also i apologise, my summary skills are terrible and so it's just me gushing over the fics for a whole paragraph🧎‍♀️)

Death's Door by SongsOfApollo

one of the first fics I read, and a fic that has literally never left my brain since then. It's amazing. It's very popular so I'm sure you've heard about it already if not read it, but if you haven't, it's a must read!! levi x doctor reader!

Dust, Diamonds by maokitty

the best way i can describe this fic is that it drove an iron stake through my heart multiple times, pulled it out, then delicately rearranged the pieces and stitched it back together with gentle fingers. take it how you will but after a certain chapter i stopped reading it bc it was too painful, and then came back two months later to finish it off AND I AM SO GLAD I DID.

A River Of Three Crossings by maokitty

this fic literally ruined my life it was so fucking good but its incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2020 i am SO SAD. but please read this, it's so good, so heart crushing and sweet and amazing I love it sm

ALSO I JUST FUCKING REALISED ITS THE SAME AUTHOUR WHILE WRITING THIS LIST😭

reciprocal sin by captain-hawks (@captain-hawks)

SO UNDERRATED!??! must read, i cannot say anything else but READ THISSS. its a kinky smutty oneshot so make sure you read the content warnings, but its sooo good😭 amazing writing too!

silver soul by oi_levi

sadly this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2021, but it's brilliantttt. if you're craving some good post-war levi fics, then this one's really good!!

also read In the Land of Gods and Monsters by them for a fun time😊

a sip of sunshine by taomyou (@taomyou)

speaking of post-war fics, this one is amazinggg. super cute and fluffy, angsty ending for part 1 (😭) but I know for sure their next part will be worth the wait. also they've got a complete modern au fic called The Romance Of Reimbursements which is so fucking beautiful, definitely read this!!! (also mchs, acoc... yeah just read all of them tbh)

silver underground. by tothestrongones (@amywritesthings)

this one's a recent read, but omfg i cannottt get enough of it. absolutely love this, it's levi x underground reader, amnesia trope done right. 10/10 must read!!!

we all bleed red by littlerequiem (@littlerequiem)

also a recent read, but omfg this fic is so good. it's vampire au, victorian era, slowburn brilliant writing, and healthy communication!?!? no way. checks all the boxes for me😫

Percolate by heichoe

modern coffee shop au, its so good omfg. it's such a cute fic, classic grumpy levi, friends w benefits, lots of smut and the DRAMA gosh. i was so invested, it was so good. (also ur gonna need an account on ao3 to read the fic!!)

this is a story of the sea by shinzouing

this one is levi x erwin x reader (i read it for the levi x reader bc erwin was gonna die anyways lmao) but i fell in loveeee with it!! wonderful writing, amazing story, 10/10 angst & slowburn, a definite must read! (also 20/10 smut, it was so fucking good)

(also literally every fic by wellitcouldbeworse3 on ao3 is amazinggg, check them out if you haven't already. which i'm sure you have, and that is the only reason i haven't listed out all of their fics here😭 The Feeling's Mutual is my fav modern au fic of all time no questions asked)

THIS IS A JUST A FEW!!! if you want more, then feel free to ask, i will gladly rec more <33 and ty for reading my fic btw!! LOVE U LOADS🤗

[jebewonmorelike]

Whatever You Say, President-nim

Part Two of "So You Can Do Yours"

⋆ ✮ ⋆

part one: "so you can do yours" wc: 2.6k pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: mentions of food-- specifically gunwook saying he skips lunch to get to work quicker (he's fine, he's just in love), lots of fluff, reader is a bit angsty bc they are missing out on being a kid/young adult/student summary: younganddumbCEO!reader offers to pick up assistant!gunwook at his university one afternoon to "help get him to work on time" ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ so after you read this... you will notice its still open-ended. i really liked this little story i'm crafting for wookie so i think i'll have one more part to it! i really wanted to write this; i definitely got a lot of intrinsic joy out of it and that is what i've been missing from my writing recently. it was super fun to write-- i hope the couple of friends who have asked about a part 2 enjoy this too!! thanks for supporting me on this quasi-break, it means a lot. please give me any feedback you have no matter how small; i just love hearing that you liked it. :)

“It’s almost there, but...” You whisper to yourself, carefully dotting your paint brush to the canvas to touch up the mossy bank in the bottom right corner. Creating a deeper shadow in the greenery, you smile as you imagine what your assistant will say when he sees your progress.

Gunwook typically requests that you save your painting for when he’s working so that he can adequately cover all your job-related duties for you. You know you should be responding to your emails or reviewing the paperwork he finished for you yesterday to better familiarize yourself with it, but you just couldn’t help yourself. The idea of adding deeper shadow to the green areas of the painting had come to you last night in a dream and you’d been bursting at the seams to follow through on it since you woke up this morning.

What time is it? You wonder, glancing up at the clock above your doorframe to find that it’s almost 1 P.M. On Thursdays, Gunwook clocked in at 1:30 P.M. after finishing his classes at his university for the day. Just a little bit longer...

“President-nim?” The voice of Secretary Lee over the intercom breaks your focus from your painting. The small brush you're holding tumbles from your hand, a dot of dark green landing onto the perfect pale blue sky. You close your eyes, inhaling for four seconds and exhaling for six-- the breathing exercise that your assistant had introduced to you last month to cope with your frustration and anxiety at work.

With the amount of times you’d had to use it to keep yourself from impulsively firing his own mother, you’re sure Gunwook was glad he’d found the right one for you.

You pick up your paintbrush calmly and place it into the mason jar of water on your desk before leaning over to the intercom and pressing the microphone button. “Yes?”

“Could I come have a word with you, President-nim?” She asks politely, but hurriedly. “It’s a bit urgent.”

“Come in, Secretary,” you agree, shutting the top of your desk quickly to conceal your artspace. You throw some papers that Gunwook had completed yesterday for you across your desk in an attempt to make yourself look busy. 

With a soft knock at the door, Secretary Lee enters as you pretend to study some of the papers-- tapping the base of a ballpoint pen to your chin in faux concentration.

“President-nim,” Secretary Lee greets with a bow as she makes her way up to your desk. She glances down at the papers you’re pretending to fill out, eyes lingering a bit too long. “Are you very busy with paperwork?”

“Oh, um,” you start, nodding a bit too hastily. “Yes, but please share with me what you need to.”

After a moment of continued suspicion, Secretary Lee finally moves on, responding, “I have to leave now to get the plans you approved from the Engineering Sector this morning to Board Executive Han in Incheon. He requested they be delivered immediately to his office.”

“That sounds great,” you reply with a nod. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll get back to work now.”

“Well, there’s--,” Secretary Lee says quickly, bowing slightly in apology for the continued interruption. “There’s a slight problem that I have to make you aware of.”

You frown, an eyebrow raising expectantly. 

“The drive isn’t too long and I don’t mind making it,” she prefaces, clasping her hands together. “But it will interfere with my lunch break and... That's when I pick up my son from his university and bring him to work. He can take the bus, but there've been long delays recently so I’ve been driving him to and from school so he isn’t late.”

“Ah,” you reply, placing your pen down on the table. 

“So I wanted to apologize and warn you that Gunwook could be very late today,” Secretary Lee says, fidgeting with a button on her coat. “I’m sorry about this, President-nim.”

To your embarrassment, a flood of disappointment hits you. You’d been really looking forward to showing your assistant the new additions to your painting.

And drinking his expertly-made coffee. And being both offended and impressed by at least one unavoidable and perfectly crafted new insult. And seeing that genuine, absolutely magnetic smile...

“I can pick him up.”

The offer slips out impulsively. Looking up at Secretary Lee, you notice that she’s somehow much less surprised by it than you are.

“Are you sure, President-nim?” She asks with a small smile. “That’s a lot of trouble to ask of you. You’re so busy right now with all of this paperwork!”

“I am so busy with paperwork, yes," you nod, putting on your most convincing performance. "But I... I actually was going to run something over to my mother’s office, so...”

“Ah,” Secretary Lee affirms with a nod. “Then if it’s no trouble, I’m sure Gunwook would love that, President-nim.”

Your face flushes slightly at her words. You wish she hadn’t told you that her son had finally agreed to be your assistant after he’d seen a picture of you. It was wildly unprofessional.

But even worse, it sometimes made you... think things.

Like maybe when Gunwook smiled at you, he wasn’t just trying to please his boss. Like maybe he actually liked you. Even just as a friend. Maybe he really meant all of his niceties. That wasn't something you often experienced in your life.

“Right,” you reply finally, shaking your head a bit to stop the thought spiral. “Well, have a safe drive, Secretary Lee.”

“You as well, President-nim,” she says, glancing at your paperwork one more time. “Do you need new pens to be ordered for you?”

You tilt your head to the side confusedly. “Why do you say that?”

“Your writing isn’t as neat as it usually is, President-nim,” Secretary Lee says; the hint of a smirk appearing on her lips. “You’re starting to write chicken scratch... just like my son!"

“Very funny,” you deadpan, shooing her towards the door with your hand. “I do my own paperwork, Secretary Lee.”

“Of course, President-nim,” she allows with a laugh as she opens the door to your office and steps outside. “Whatever you say, President-nim!”

Like mother, like son.

__________________________________________

Pulling into a parking spot in front of Yonsei University’s Yonhee Hall, you quickly notice a small group of students in front of you ogling your car. In your high hopes to feel nostalgic and comfortable on a university campus again, you’d completely forgotten about the spectacle that is your baby blue 2024 Porsche 911.

Grabbing your phone and keys and stuffing them into your back pockets, you open the car door and climb out-- a chorus of excited whispers when the three students in front of you see your face.

“Whoah,” one boy says in disbelief. “Expensive car AND good-looking? That's just not fair."

“A student could never afford that car,” the girl next to him whispers back as you start to walk over to where they’re standing in front of the steps to the building. 

“I’m not a student,” you reply, which visibly shocks the girl and her friends. “Did you guys just get out of class?”

“At 1:15, yeah. Public Policy Analysis,” a shorter boy next to her replies. With a timid smile, he continues, “We’re heading to eat. Do you wanna join us?”

The girl hits his arm. “Don’t be so desperate.”

“Sorry,” the boy says quickly.

“Let’s just go,” the taller boy says. “Gunwook never comes to eat with us anyway-- I don’t know why you continue to insist that we invite him.”

You notice how the girl looks away in what appears to be embarrassment. Had this girl fallen for Gunwook, too?

You did not just think ‘too’.

You clear your throat, quickly repeating, “Gunwook?”

“Yeah, he’s our friend, sort of, who--...” The shorter boy starts to explain for you (which is very kind of him, considering you’re a total stranger), but his attention suddenly shifts to the top of the building steps behind you. “Oh there he is. Gunwook-ah!”

You turn around slowly to find Gunwook staring back at you wide-eyed. Noticing his black university hoodie and his Adidas joggers, his backpack slung over one shoulder, and his un-styled hair falling into his eyes... you have to physically swallow down the lump of anxiety that’s formed in your throat.

“(Y/N)?” Gunwook asks, running down the building steps to you. “What are you doing here?”

“Y-your mom had to deliver something in Incheon,” you reply nonchalantly as your downright adorable assistant flops his way down to you; towering over you from the step above and smiling.

"So you came to rescue me?" He asks with a smirk.

“Gunwook-ah,” the girl beside you calls, the slightest air of annoyance in her voice. “Is this your friend?”

“Yeah-- or... Um,” Gunwook stumbles as he grins at you. “My boss, actually.”

“You’re Gunwook's boss? I thought you worked for the President of KCTech Company,” the taller boy replies, eyeing you up and down suspiciously.

Gunwook nods-- not once taking his eyes off of you. “I do.”

“The President of KCTech Company is a teenager?” The girl scoffs, folding her arms in front of her chest.

“I turned 20 last month,” you correct with a grimace.

“Whoah,” the shorter boy whispers in awe. “So are you part of a chaebol family?”

Both of his friends issue a punch to his arms. “Sorry,” he says quickly.

“It’s okay. I am,” you say, shaking your head dismissively. “But I anxiously await you political science majors striking my family down with new policies in the future.”

“Okay, and we’re leaving,” Gunwook says, taking your arm and dragging you the rest of the way down the stairs with him.

“But I meant it,” you protest, trying to keep yourself from fully processing that Gunwook has now engulfed your hand in his gigantic one and seems to have no plans to let it go.

“I know you meant it, but we don’t need three university students selling a story to a tabloid about how the President of KCTech challenged them to economic warfare after class,” Gunwook explains with a sigh. As he pulls you towards your car, you hear the group of friends still mumbling about the interaction they just witnessed.

“Am I going crazy or is Gunwook... holding his boss’s hand?” The taller boy asks, wiping his eyes with his fists to make sure he’s seeing clearly.

The shorter boy laughs. “I'm pretty sure he also used informal speech.”

“Whatever,” you hear the girl huff sadly as Gunwook opens your car door for you and gestures for you to get in.

Once you’re inside your car, Gunwook shuts the door for you and makes his way to the other side. That’s when you realize... you’re sitting in the passenger’s seat.

Gunwook opens the driver’s side door and hops inside; watching as his classmates talk amongst each other-- debating whether or not to start to head to lunch. Your assistant waves to them happily through the front window.

“What are you doing?” You ask, shocked at your assistant’s actions.

“Waving to my friends,” he answers dumbly.

“Why are you acting like you’re about to drive my car!?” You exclaim, hand flying to his shoulder to shake him a bit.

Gunwook smirks at you. “Because I am.”

“No, no, no, no,” you squeeze his shoulder harder. “No, you are not.”

“You wouldn’t embarrass me in front of my classmates,” Gunwook challenges, batting his eyelashes cutely. “Would you, President-nim?”

Every time you think your assistant’s gone as far as he can go, he always pushes you a bit further. And you’d be bold-faced lying if you said you didn’t love it.

“Gunwookie,” you whine rather unprofessionally. “Ugh, fine. But if you crash this car, I swear I’m gonna--.”

Gunwook presses the start button on the car excitedly, fastening his seatbelt before pulling out of the parking space without looking both ways.

“Please, Gunwookie,” you beg, fastening your seatbelt frantically. “I really like this car. It’s the only present my father’s ever gotten me that I actually liked.”

The boy tenses a bit, meeting your gaze and nodding quietly in agreement before pressing the gas pedal with his foot at a responsible velocity. Gunwook drives through the campus and out onto the main road diligently, stopping for 3 seconds at stop signs, minding crosswalks, and breaking gradually. He’s a good driver-- which shouldn’t come as much of a shock to you, considering he’s good at pretty much everything he does.

He’d even painted some pretty convincing trees last week when you’d shown him the brush technique before you left work. 

“How come you don’t drive more often?” You ask, reaching to your back pocket and pulling out your phone. “Your mom has to drive you to work every day.”

“I don’t have a car,” Gunwook answers, signaling a turn. “Or a license.”

Your phone drops from your hands into your lap. “WHAT!?”

“Relax! I have a permit,” he says with a laugh as your hands fly to cover your face in despair. “You’re supervising me, President-nim. I know you won’t let anything bad happen to your favorite assistant.”

“The ice is so thin, Wookie.”

The nickname leaves your lips before you can consider its implications. Gunwook clears his throat awkwardly, focusing back on the road. You continue in silence for a bit, looking out the window as Gwanghwamun approaches. But there’s something you still want to say before you reach the office building.

“Gunwook-ah?”

The boy glances at you expectantly. “Yes, President-nim?”

“Those kids,” you start, watching as his grip on the steering wheel slips gradually to a more comfortable position. “They said they keep asking you to go to lunch after class with them.”

“Oh,” he replies, nodding as he sucks his teeth. “One, they're not kids-- they're literally a year younger than you and so am I. And, two, I don’t really have time. I have to get to the office by 1:30 to--”

“One, you're two years younger than me. And two, come at 2:30 from now on,” you interject. Gunwook’s eyebrows knit with confusion, but you continue, “Eat lunch with your classmates while you can.”

Your assistant’s expression softens as he meets your gaze, but you think you would prefer that he didn’t look at you with this much pity again any time soon.

“You’ll regret not spending more time doing fun things like that when you can’t anymore,” you explain, tugging at the skin around your nails. “You should be doing things you enjoy, is what I mean.”

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Gunwook says with a smile. “I’ll eat lunch with my classmates more often. But...”

You raise an eyebrow as Gunwook pulls into a parking spot on the street-- one that luckily doesn’t require him to parallel. He’s a good driver, but you’re not ready to test his skills that much. Pushing the engine button to turn the car off, Gunwook leans back in his seat and turns to look at you.

“I hope you know I also enjoy working, too,” he says; a cheeky grin lighting up his face as he adds, “With you.”

You pout at him to combat the smile that’s desperately trying to creep onto your face. “Who wouldn’t enjoy working with me?”

“Literally every person you’ve ever hired,” he throws back at you.

There’s not much you can say. He’s right. Which begs the question...

“Why do you like working with me?”

Gunwook hums contentedly. “There’s a lot of reasons.”

“Huh,” you reply, still admiring him in his street clothes. Unfortunately picking up Gunwook after class had only made your desire to be normal grow stronger. If things were different, maybe you would’ve met Gunwook in the dining hall on campus-- stared at him in his round glasses until one day you finally worked up the courage to speak to him. You’d have friends instead of employees. Art classes instead of meetings. Parties instead of paperwork. “They must be pretty good reasons to ditch lunch with your friends.”

“I actually usually skip lunch altogether so I can see you quicker,” he rebuts; eyes widening in panic as soon as he realizes what he’s just said. “I--... I mean, get to you quicker. You know... For work. And stuff.”

Gunwook was not known to throw an “and stuff” around very often-- he’s usually more eloquent and thoughtful when he speaks. The way his cheeks start to flush as he blinks at you; lips pouted like a baby chick... It's enough to make you wonder if his words might not have been a simple misspeaking, but rather a truth that slipped out accidentally.

“Come on,” you call, unfastening your seatbelt and opening the car door-- stepping out onto the sidewalk and waiting for your assistant to follow. Gunwook hops out of the car before sheepishly joining you on the sidewalk. You head towards the doors of your office building, but then, much to Gunwook’s surprise, continue to walk past them.

“President-nim?” He calls after you. “Where are you going?”

“To lunch,” you answer over your shoulder. “My assistant’s been going hungry in order to report to his boss on time! We don’t want a headline about that, do we?”

Hearing footsteps pounding against the pavement to catch up with you, your arm brushes against Gunwook’s as he falls into step beside you. “He does it willingly, though, (Y/N).”

“Not anymore, he doesn’t,” you reply, eyes focused on the road ahead of you in an effort to ignore his use of your name. “From now on, my favorite assistant will eat well and he’ll like it.”

Gunwook laughs next to you and you make the deadly mistake of looking up at him. He smiles at you fondly through the fringe that’s falling in his eyes and says softly:

“Whatever you say, President-nim.”

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[icysnails]

WAHHH HI HELLO!! I just read your platonic Blade/Stellaron Hunters fic and (just like many others) absolutely adored it!! I love love LOVE platonic fics and I'm so blown away with how much love and effort you put into it!! (especially because most people enjoy romantic fics) Like- you sat down and wrote all of that and decided to share it!! For free!! Wuauauua your writing is *chef's kiss* and MAN I love how the kid reader fulfills the Stellaron Hunters' wishes in some way!! (Except for Blade because uh.. he wants to die) Like Silver Wolf's is pretty easy- she wants to make her life interesting, explore the cosmos!! Now, as a Stellaron Hunter, she can do all that- but now she has a CHEERLEADER?? Her own little hypeman that inflates her ego and makes her feel like a main character?? Someone to share her story/fun experiences with?? Wonderful!! And Kafka wants to be able to feel fear, and growing to care for the reader allows her to!! She's afraid of losing that child, afraid of the odd family she now has falling apart!! But something I do want to talk about with Blade is how interesting it is that he immediately started sparring with the reader- I dunno if you intended it, but is it a parallel to how Jingliu taught him to fight? Minus Jingliu killing Blade over and over- But if so that's so fun!! He's teaching the reader the only way he knows how, which is.. brutally! At least at first!! He knows kids are fragile and adjusts, especially since he begins to care for the kid!! Auauua I wonder if he's able to empathize with the reader bc of Yingxing's memories.. as Yingxing's family was all killed if I remember correctly? aaa many things to think abt!! But thank you so much again for writing this!! Your art is wonderful and makes me think a bunch!! (Positive)

Hello Anon!!! AAaaa oh my gosh that's so sweet I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! 😭💖 I love family/platonic fics so much and I just wanted to self-indulge with it because the stellaron hunters are such interesting characters--

I have to confess that I haven't been keeping up with the story for HSR lately so I totally missed a chunk of Blade's backstory (TvT) I honestly had no idea Jingliu mentored him until now, but thank you for mentioning it because that's super interesting and could largely influence a lot of his actions - the sparring parallel was more of a coincidence, but I'm totally going to keep the training stuff in mind for future platonic Blade fics/part 2!! I also think his memory stuff is fascinating - I thought his memories got wiped when I wrote the Family Fic but I recently read somewhere that he gets flashbacks occasionally (i think?? :0)- and if he has any kind of recollection from his past lives, that would totally help explain why he has a soft spot for the reader!!

Thank you so much for your support, your message made my day!! I hope your day is absolutely fabulous!! \(^0^)/

[spookyserenades]

i started reading this recent chapter at night but had to postpone it to the morning because the scene where they were scoping out the Sanders’ house was genuinely creeping me out 😭 idk anytime there’s a mention of people feeling dark energy in a room i’m like omg i feel it in my room 💀 I’m so glad we’ve been getting more paranormal scenes though!! I feel like it’s pretty rare (for me at least) to find a true paranormal fic so i absolutely eat it up (during the safety of the daytime lol)! Also the whole “there’s many” scene?!? HELLO!!? OC and Namkook are stronger than me bc i would never even think of going back to that house 🙅🏻‍♀️

Also I need to make some commotion for relationship 2/7 bc whew last month’s cliffhanger had me tweaking 😭 Seokjin is just so damn dreamy and adorable! It’s crazy seeing the hybrids’ personalities and then seeing how they are in the bedroom 👀 Seokjin prolonging her release like ok sir i see u 😫🧎🏻‍♀️ And honestly breeding kinks will always get me like omfg i will have ur babies this INSTANT! Is it safe to say that Jin’s alpaca stuffie is Rj bc that’s the only way I can picture it which had me cracking up bc not OC and Jin absolutely violating Rj with their activities 😭😭😭

OOP! Sorry for spooking you bestie!! I must admit it's gonna get even creepier soon, so definitely read it during the day time 😉 I agree omg like sometimes I'm watching Ghost Adventures and I convinced myself that there's a ghost in the corner of my living room LMAO. I love love love writing the paranormal scenes!!! @jincherie wrote a really good Taehyung one if you're interested in that 💜 Finally, all my years of watching ghost shows have paid off somehow-- knowing all the gadgets and shit 💀 But you're sooo right I'd not look forward to going back to that house, but Y/N is one stubborn bitch!

Seokjin, and I mean this with my whole mind body and spirit, would be the best boyfriend on the entire planet. Thank you! It's my goal to get everyone to fall in love with him, and I hope it's working 👹 Oh yeah... I stare at a wall for a good part of the day crafting up how they are in the sack. I'm so excited to write Namjoon smut eventually, I have seven years worth of thirst to put on paper 💀

No I know I'd have 10 babies call me 19 kids and counting with Seokjin! I mean man is so gorgeous and wonderful, how could I not want as many of his babies as physically possible??? LMAOOOO just another case of self-indulgent Dana, giving him that kink 💀 And yesss safe to say it is RJ! Seokjin irl doesn't sleep without him, nor does jaguar Seokjin 💜💜💜

[theromaboo]

tag someone you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @just-late-roman-republic-things (dang you got tagged by catilina. cool)

Favourite color: Red :)

Last Song I Listened To: Havana in Classical Latin. Oh my gosh, it's so good! The singer's pronunciation is phenominal. I think I listened to this song a hundred times this week. The way I enjoy songs is that I find one that I like a lot and play it on repeat until I find another I like :)

Favourite Movie: Hmmmmmm... This is a very hard question. I don't really watch movies. But, I did watch Mio Figlio Nerone more times than I'd like to admit so I guess that's my current favourite movie!

Currently Watching: Nothing right now, but the second I'm less busy, I'm rewatching Domina! It's my favourite show by far. No piece of media has ever made me feel things Domina has made me feel.

Currently Reading: A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome by Emma Southon. There are a few things I don't really like about it, but it's overall a fun book to read. And because this book is pretty much just a list of anecdotes about killings back in ancient Rome, it is definitely a good starting point for anyone who's interested in that. If you find an interesting anecdote, you can research more about it!

Currently Working On: 1) Art. Yesterday I suddenly got inspired to draw and I have been drawing a lot since then! Better draw as much as I can while it lasts! And 2) I'm currently trying to study more Latin and Italian. Those two are easily my favourite languages, but I'd have to say I prefer Latin over Italian (sorry Italian).

Current Obsession: I'm currently not in an obsession obsession, where I get so obsessed, I start getting worried about myself.

My ancient Rome interest was actually started by an obsession obsession. I got a bit interested in Claudius, then I got very interested in Claudius, then I got worryingly interested in Claudius, then I got interested in him to the point where the only thing I thought about from waking up to going to sleep was Claudius and I literally did nothing but think about Claudius and read books and watch videos about Claudius for like a week. A neat thing that happened is that I was unable to become bored from Claudius. My attention span is normally awful and I become bored very quickly, but this obsession managed to bypass that and so I was able to binge-read extremely long and dry and old history books about Claudius without ever getting tired at all. But then, when I eventually stopped being so obsessed with Claudius, I was already too far in and I had learned too much about Rome to ever go back. After that, I had a few other obsession obsessions, such as Britannicus, Caligula, Domina, Tiberius, but they were never as strong as the original Claudius one. I sometimes wonder what happened there, but I'm glad it happened.

However, right now, no obsession obsession.

But of course, I've had my early Roman Empire/late Roman Republic (but mostly early empire) special interest for quite some time now, and everyone I know would say that I am Obsessed with it. Recently I have been very very interested in the early years of Octavian (like everything Octavian did before 27 BC), which is honestly quite a bit earlier than I usually like. Nowadays I have been interested in earlier and earlier parts of Roman history! (aka going from really liking the late Julio-Claudian dynasty last year to really liking the early Julio-Claudian dynasty this year. It's a bit slow).

I'm tagging @germanicuscaesars and @athelstan-anglecyning and @scribl1ta and @a-passing-storm and @octavianiscougarbait and @alienmythologist.

[earlysunshines]

⚠️ WARNING - long ask ahead, don't tell I didn't warn, sorry in advance guys 🤟

IM ERWITING THIS AS I GO ON THE FIC, which means omw to work, which means ill be all day thinking of this dani BC THE "the woman has a few moles on the right side of her face" GOT ME GOOOD yeees I love mo dani little moles sooo much.

(this all may be out of place? is just comments bc I'll probably explode if I dont write it down already so,,,

A CHET BAKER CD?? OUCH you have a good taste (played jazz for a while after it cause I was already wanting to hear since hanni recent live listening to the lp she brought, that was such a great live)

loved the way you played with the shelter 'care' word bc of the kang going first AND it was so funny haerin going like "your girl is just that way if you want to know" she is a little menace

ok so beach jazz scene, just got chills from them looking at each other and singing the same line cause I put to play the song too yk immersion, AND ARRURGH THE slip up and calling dani beautiful oh pls n dani still staring like i can imagine her goofy little teasing smile at yn bc of It oh oh they're so in love,, im just getting started aren't I?

yn just noticing dani has been talking about her when minji mentioned likejjhh giiirl I knew since haerin mentioned the same line dani had said about yn eyes. n ooooh you didn't continue the twinflame book c'mon (loved the bit of it)!!! it was getting interesting

also really important part; the way you always highlight the action of dani tilting her head squeezes my chest everytime i. swear . im weak for it

THEY KSSED 😭😭😭oh dani's tatto they're- WELL THEY KISSED !!! UARGH cuties

okaywait was so engaged reading that I forget this here, so the bathroom scene remind ME about the time thing, tbh I think you did this all fluffy scenes on purpose making us forget abt the plot, funny how wait this about to be big, like since when I read the summary I got surprised with this concept of death time tattoo, usually is 'time until you meet your soulmate' kinda of thing SO never read this plot before AND since the start I was like, afraid? of finishing this one like idk it it all comes to a end yk? idk shit you made me thoughtful, going back to read

OOP CLOSE THE DOOR??🫣? IM SEATED oh to hold danielle waist and and...😔 "maybe im your twin flame"YOURE😭MO DANI 😭 YOU ARE arhg youre giving me anxiety my dear writer

NOO YN don't isolate yourself oh if you're giving us another heartbroken dani im about to cry

LAST THEN 48 HOURS??? WAIITWAIT I want my fluffy where is fufflism

just thinking abt hyein ms lee and haerin starring at yn like 'is she dead??' gave me such a good laugh ngl

oh you... you made they death day on 722? ah....I swear I thought they were going to die without knowing abt they're soulmates like urgagrhggggsgghh lemme finish this up

before I cry with this little happy alternative universe I wanna say that I LOVED the way everything evolves around the beach, like since her parents till yn on th way of dyin,g it felt so right, the 'day off' where they spent all day gave me a thought like 'oh ms.lee surely planned it bc she knew dani walked on the morning' for me it was planned☝️🤓 (beabadoobee - beaches) <3

...to be honest I dont even know what to say to this one bc this all was just comments so yeah..im...this was good, good. literally spend all my shift thinking about finishing this one, the concept really got me good,, I.. maybe smth personal but i've been so...overloaded for a while so this one hitted soo close and made me want to,, live.. I think I just need a mo dani marsh in my life too

anyways😮‍💨 #really great, #changed my life, #made me cry, they're so many thoughts going on as a write this.. you're truly amazing. wish you a amazing day/week/weekend you deserve the best only!! 🫶

-with many admiration, 🤟

for this long wonderful lovely feedback i will provide. alonnnggg. reply and details plus insights HOORAAY im so glad to hear from u i absolutely love your responses u make me smile always

NO YWAAHAH HER MOLES I LOVE THEEMEMM they’re my fav feature other than her long eye lashes and smile and wait i love every feature muahahhaha

i loooove chet baker i have a like 8 hour playlist that has a lot of his music on there along with others ima. fiend for jazz i live for jazz festivals omfg and i need to find clips of hanni listening to music what!! i didn’t know this happened on her live…

no bc my fav thing ab these fics is that it’s lit up to me i thought i was the funniest person adding “kangs kare” im so #wordplay put me in coach

OMFG JAZZ Scene has some more behind it actually no it doesn’t i lied but basically i was like trying to just write and listen and the jazz playlist was lit on and CHET BAKER played and it was it’s always you and omfg i just ugh i started daydreaming and stopped writing for a moment LLOOL idk jazz makes me really lovey and dovey and emotional i think it’s beautiful it’s like a warm embrace or your lover tracing their fingers over your skin

aahahhshdh i think dani si the type of person to not shut up ab someone she likes and like she won’t even know she likes them yet but everyone around her knows LOL and mmmm detail the first thing dani said was “you have pretty eyes” and i tried to make that the first thing she said in the ending bc they’re twin flames and shit and aahhh repetition and similarity in universes … i’m rambling

ALSO this is so embarassing i had to literally search the difference between soulmates and twin flames and read a small article about twin flames and EVEN WORSE i had to make it sound professional and whatnot bc i had to quote on quote make a book in my fic ?-?:?: if yk what im saying but yeah that was a pain… cannot go on any longer i started making shit up FORREAAALLL all of that was pulled out of my ass i swear

NO BC PPL TILTINT THEIR HESDA IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND JUST PERKING YHRIR HEADS LIKE ANY MOVEMENT OF PPLS HEADA is so special to me it shows attention to details and emotion and desire to KNOW and be present in the moment and it’s just… so reassuring despite it being such a small gesture and i have realized over the years that i do it subconsciously with people i love and strangers that i click withINLVOE TJAT DETAIL i will use it in every fic ever idc if it’s repetitive i don’t care. i often tilt my head and whatnot bc im actually very nonverbal in real life usually (im just tired all the time) so i usually hum or give short responses and use my head to gesture the rest of what i need to convey liek this is so important to me guys…

I LOOOOVE writing kissing scenes but also no bc they get repetitive and yeah and also that tattoo hehehehsjwhhd i had to soft launch dani having the same tattoo LOL

i tried to make the whole death thing a little less repetitive and kind of brush over it until it got worse and worse and more serious and the whole concept was cheaply influenced by a movie where the two love interests know that they’re dying bc of their sickness but then i added a set, concrete date for dani and yn to die LOL idk lowk my creative juices were being juiced with this one… i was THINKING … and yeah i tried to fit in as many details and things that you’d have to remember form the beginning or middle idk i just rly like how i structured this one (the pacing is stilll iffy to me but wtv( bc i tried to have things tie together well and whatnot

makeout scene had me giggling and blushing while reading it was inspired by the anon who sent a makeout ask like smth ab “imagine making out w dani for the first time” and originally it wasn’t going to be there but i think it added to their bond and tension and lalalala yeah

no i couldn’t make them.die without knowing they’re meant to be but i had to try to figure out how to make the reveal angsty and i was like might as well have them figure out before they die and SOEAKJNG OF WHICH it took me a good amount of time while at work and making drinks to think of a way for them to die idk this story was so spontaneous and changed a lotLOL

and yes the whole beach thing was lowk inspired by summer strike bc i like the small town environment and how cute the beach is i haven’t even finished the drama im on ep like eight and haven’t watched since a few months ago LOL but i think the beach is just so calming and small towns r just sooo relaxing and nice compared tot he city (that being said i will always be a city girl…) idk beach city energy is just so wonderful and fits dani bc she grew up in newcastle and her whole vlog kinda gave me ideas for the world building and whatnot

i’m glad u love it!! and also just to mention ab the whole personal thing and living

i project a lot into my work and what i put down on the doc. idk if u can tell but i see a lot of beauty in things because i feel like its not worth dying if youre missing out on the intimacy of being loved and loving back plus just general interactions and platonic bonds built (ex: hyein and mrs lee) so like ywaaahh im glad you want to live!! there’s so much out there to experience and trust i understand exactly how u feel i looooowk have a lot of my own problems but writing helps me point out my dreams and things i find wonderful which makes me happy and then ppl enjoy the things that i romanticize and it makes me so so so so happy LOL

did u actually cry like many ppl r saying they cried or shed a tear and idk if i beleive it bc is it REALLT. that sad and emotional (maybe i just critics my writing tm) but yeah IM SO HAPPY THAT U ENJOYED!!!

u have a great week too you’re so sweet and i always love seeing your asks and feedback seriously, thank u!!!!

[celestie0]

Hi ellie sweetie im so sorry abt that anon and that u receive that kind of pressure regularly

You and your mutual did not deserve that bullshit

If you dont mind tagging their account then id like to check it out im sure their a very talented writer just like you

You’ve built this platform for yourself and us and im very proud of you seriously I find it incredible what you do because again i’ve sent an ask previously about how much I adore kickoff it’s literally become the love of my life rn and it hurts that it’s not published bc obviously I want to have my favourite book displayed on a shelf

I’m so grateful that I discovered this gem (and you too 😘) meanwhile your just another human being somewhere else in the world living your own life and choosing to share your work with us for free and that’s not something that should be taken for granted so ty bby for giving us your time and gracing us with your immaculate brain (*smooches* 🧠)

anyway it was probably just some bratty little 13 year olds sending those kinds of asks because they haven’t yet figured out that the world doesn’t revolve around them so please don’t let it get to you

Tbh I was wondering why you hadn’t been responding to asks very recently but only because interacting with you has become a cute little part of my day so I was just a little bummed to not hear from you

Mainly I just panicked that I’d accidentally been blocked or something lol

and ofc I’ve been waiting for chapter 11 of kickoff and also the ihm update as well and I’m really excited for that but you take your time love it’s your precious work

hi babe!! i saw your follow up ask too and yes indeed my mutual is the one that writes symptoms & causes!! @/lostfracturess <3 HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE SERIES IT’s one of my FAVE fics ever!!

omg idk why but u saying you are proud of me hit me in my titty 😭💕 in like a wholesome way LOL…yea these entitled anons can make us feel like slaves sometimes but thank you for giving me a feeling of being proud of my platform i’ve built n my works too :”) that’s so sweet. and PLS tysm for the love for kickoff too aaa <33

it’s my pleasure to share my works w my lovely readers like you :”) it’s hard to stay positive w hate n negtivity but i remind myself most of my readers are literally walking angels on earth so PLEASE!! i should be thanking YOU!!

and hahah yes darling also referring to your follow up ask, i was just a lil busy on vacation so i’ve been hella behind on asks 💀 sorry to cause any concern!! i’m so happy to hear interacting w me is a cute part of your day pls 😭💕 you’re adorable

i’m so glad you’re looking forward to my updates bb <3 so sorry this ask took me a while to respomd to but i had such a huge smile on my face when i read it for the first tiem :”) sm love from me <33

[pansypossum]

Get to know 9 people ask game

Tagged by: @xenonhw Thanks for tagging me!!!

Last Song Listened To: Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold bc a part it was stuck in Darla's head and we had to remember it all.

Currently Watching: Well Darla and I jammed through all the early Halloween franchise movies. Halloween is my favorite slasher movie and I never saw any of those sequels so it was fun to experience and discuss all the themes and motifs etc. We aren't gonna watch the Rob Zombie ones together and I'm unsure if we'll watch the recent reboots? So I'm kinda in a what to watch limbo. But oh yeah if you mean what youtube tab I have opened it's Secret Sleepover playing observation duty.

Currently Reading: I have a library book that I don't like the writing style of so I'm avoiding reading everything else, at the moment! Oops!! But I am also part way through It Came From The Closet (Queer Reflections on Horror) which I'm enjoying a lot, I just need to pick up again!

I've only semi recently getting back into books, its been a bit since I've had the time and motivation! Being brave!

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: sweet!!!! I love desserts I love vanilla scented candles 🍭🍪🎂

Current Obsession: OCs as always! Current OC obsessions are Gabriel and Felipe. (we think they'll probably be an end game couple but its fun to explore the fact that they aren't there yet teehee!)

One of my obsessions that I just never mention ... collecting animal jpegs on silly old pet websites like chicken smoothie and neopets (not as into neopets but I got a Halloween gelert named pretty boi the first day I got back into playing that. I was on a mission!!! 😭) (and I've been constantly adopting pets on chicken smoothie since I joined in February lol. It scratches an itch in my brain of collecting and they're cute silly thangs)

Also Halloween and Horror things in general bc... (I get sad in the cold dreary months and as soon as Halloween is over I usually don't have much else to look forward to for a while so I'm holding on tight! It's October 31st somewhere!)

Relationship Status: dating and living with @duck-n-clover 💕💞💖💓💘💗 Ideal relationship bc they are always warm when I'm always cold. :) *thermoregulating you beam*

We met on deviantArt in like 7th/8th grade, later we started shipping our OCs, then met in person at a music festival I had extra tickets for and then a few months later they asked me out which is INSane to me how things happen and I'm so glad things have worked out how they did! Still sharing OCs together yay yayy wahoo!! (((Gabriel (oc I'm obsessed with) was Darla's OC and he was in the 1st drawing I liked from them on dA and now they gave him to me he's my own special OC now wah!!!))))

Last Thing I Googled: Bat Country lyrics 👍 (wondering if bat or country was in the lyrics at all) (no)

Currently Working On: ough I haven't started a drawing since finishing my 13 days of Halloween drawings. I am planning to hopefully keep working on ref sheets for two old OCs I brought back and their (new!) kids.

I tag: Um I'm usually bad at doing these things in a timely manner so I'm just gonna "tag" anyone who sees this and wants to do this now! Or soon or whenever.

[penrose-quinn]

Hi Pen 💖💖! How are you doing? I hope you're well as always, and I wanted to thank you for the recent update of Green Light! I'm still fumbling to find the words to tell you how much I loved it...

But the thing is, I just read chapter 11, and I sincerely hope you know that you are to me the most graceful, thoughtful and brilliant writer I’ve ever had the pleasure to read on Ao3. I do mean it sincerely. Your stories are the best kind of heartbreak; bittersweet and hopeful, heartfelt and witty. The chronicles of life when you’re in your twenties and nothing makes sense, you’re just lost, lonely without the words to say it, but some things are just too important to give up on so you keep trying and look, sometimes it works. There is so much love, you could drown in it.

I'll say it again; you made me feel things with this chapter, as I had absolutely no doubt you would. So please expect a long, ranting comment on Ao3, and thank you again for sharing. For what it's worth, your words mean the world to me ❤.

I hope you have a wonderful day and get lots of rest, you did such an amazing job with this chapter!! I'm sending you lots and lots and lots of love, please take care of yourself <333.

And god do I have things to say about the ending.

Hi Obsidian (◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ﾉ”

I get by! My schedule still sucks atm, but once I'm done with my new series at work, I'll have more free time next week (T▽T). I hope you're doing so much better than I am tho!! Ngl your lovely message pulled me through a tough week and I'm grateful you've no idea! I haven't had the time to properly edit the new chapter so I was freaking out if it was any good. Although I might get to edit it in the weekend, your words were really reassuring! It's an honor that it's from you! This isn't an exaggeration or flattery coming from me but it's just that you're an awesome writer and a more awesome friend so it means the world (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈).

I'm so glad you loved it!! I poured my whole soul into this one! That isn't to say that I don't do it for the rest of the fic, but this chapter was just really hard lol. RL and dealing with multiple complex characters aside, I kinda projected more on Shin than I'd like to in his backstory. And I'm just sort of in love writing GL in a way that I haven't been in love with any of my other fics for awhile. Idk if it's bc it's tremendously fun writing TR characters or the story but it makes me happy. I don't have expectations for it being my best work, it didn't even start out serious when I first posted it, but it just makes me happy and feel all sorts of things but I think that's what matters so reading your words and how it's evoked these emotions from you makes me feel fulfilled as a writer. But for the most part, I'm so, so glad I could scream and share my love for this fic with someone else haha. Whether if it's a simple keyboard smash or a thesis-level review from you, I'll always love reading your thoughts. Thank you for sharing them with me! (〃´𓎟`〃)~♡♡♡

Thank you for this again! I hope you have a pleasant and stress-free week ahead. Always take care, Obsidian!! Imma bombard you all the good vibes and love back (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ₊‧.♡°.⋆˚₊♡‧⋆.♡ִ ࣪𖤐

(That ending...went through so many rewrites lol, but I personally think this was the right one. I really look forward to what you have to say about it!)

[padfootastic]

in honour of the new chapter of foundations of decay I decided to reread the whole thing and GOD its so good!! It'd been a while since I last read it and just!! Chef's kiss!!!

For the new chapter I had one question about "In fact, the trickiest part to navigate was getting Professor Lupin out of it unharmed. If anyone but the most sympathetic ever found out how he conducted himself that eventing... [...] Over two decades of secrecy would be brought down in one fell swoop, [...]." I was wondering what you meant because at first I thought you meant him forgetting the potion, but the last part makes me think the fact that he is a werewolf. I honestly thought that was public knowledge? Wasn't that why he quit (or was fired I can't really remember)? That Snape had spilled the secret and parents were angry about a werewolf teaching their kids? Or did you meant something else interiorly?

ANYWAY much more importantly I need to tell you what a true DELIGHT your harry is to read!! He's angry! He's hurt! He's so so so so so sincere!! He cares so deeply! Which is the whole reason he's so angry to begin with!! I'm obsessed!!!

Also Oscar is a delight! I hope we see more of him he's fantastic! And his relationship with Harry is so fun! You also simply just GET these characters it's fantastic to read! From Lupin and his relationship with Harry to Sirius and Molly and the way they clash! It's so nice to read and it all reads very in character even if the character growth happened differently! Can't wait for the next one!! (also I'm genuinely so glad you aren't experiencing writer's block any more! I've been there and done that and it sucks so much!)

oh my a fic reread 🥹🥹🥹 that makes me so soft i swearrr (also i did the same recently bc is literally forgotten my own fic which is just. sad. but hilarious. so i fully relate lol)

oh no, you’re absolutely correct. snape DID out remus at the end of PoA but as far as i remember, it only had implications for his job at the time. (and of course, if u theorise that this is what led to further anti-werewolf legislation by…umbridge? i think? we get a small mention of it somewhere). but, what i feel is missing from that entire thing (and this is almost def bc it’s not important to the plot) is the implications it had for hogwarts and remus’ time there. after all, the whole cloak and dagger secrecy around remus being there, and the debt he owes to dumbledore for making it possible, as well as the ridiculous shrieking shack full moon stay—it implies that it wasn’t entirely allowed, right. so while remus WAS outed as a werewolf, i don’t think the dots were connected (atleast explicitly) about him being allowed to study at hogwarts, alongside all the proper witches and wizards, and that he was transforming in the same space as them. if anyone did come to this conclusion, i’d assume there’d be questions. and then there’s just the larger issue of,,,,anyone finding out remus was running around unchecked that day (as he was in school lol), when there are vulnerable kids, and when he should’ve been essentially sedated and locked up in his office….well. horrific consequences, no? (or atleast that’s how i thought about it hehe)

and god dude i am SO glad u liked it!!! and that u like harry bc he’s my little bean i’m so attached to him it’s not even funny. i’ve spent an unreasonable amt of time on his characterisation and i go over each dialogue like. three times bc i’m like ‘it has to fit perfectly’ so it makes me like. insanely happy to see that’s coming thru 🥺

and truly, oscar is such a babe i love him. i even have a sirius & oscar conversation in the works bc imagine the potential 🥰 u are entirely too kind to me. i overthink my writing to the point of despair so to hear that you’ve clocked on to some of the intentional decisions i’ve made is just. 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i am WEAK and GRATEFUL!!!

[jakowskis]

Loved ‘an ugly picture, you & me’ so so much. Srsly I read it like 10 times and still won’t get tired of it. It’s such a great piece of writing. Now my question: Do you already if ur gonna post more Torchwood fanfic?? (no pressure obv, writing is so so hard and I admire everyone who actually manages to finish their stories).

oh my goodness thank you so much 🥺 that means the world to me im so glad you liked it so much

man ok so. heres the thing. djkfds aaa idek how to talk abt this it makes me feel stupid fdshkfj. basically i have dx'd ocd and it affects my writing process a Lot. im exceptionally critical n perfectionistic when it comes to my writing, and when my ocd's at its worse, i can reread things literally hundreds of times. this makes my editing process a fucking nightmare. an ugly picture was... a Journey, i wrote the bulk of it in like a month or two bc i was Inspired, and that period of inspiration just flowing was super nice - but then i spent literally half a year obsessing over editing and figuring out a few sections i couldnt get to work and it was. rlly rlly unhealthy and messy. like that was a stereotypical Mentally Ill Artist™ moment for me 😭 i was unmedicated during that process and honestly im still impressed with myself for managing to finish and post it anyway.

and after posting it... this might not make sense unless u have ocd but that fic is, like, tainted in my head, and im not allowed to touch it as a result. which is RLLY fucking annoying and sad bc i wrote it for Me and it was a labor of love yanno, and i am proud of it, like during writing i was like 'man this is one of the best things ive written, im genuinely proud of this' and ive gotten some absolutely wonderful reception - but i cant exactly place why, idk if it was the torment of the editing process or a fear of experiencing that specific brand of anxiety again (if i reread it and run into errors it might kill me 😭)... either way at this point in time im legitimately unable to revisit that fic. and its been like this since i posted it, so... for nearly five months ;-; and im kind of having a similar experience with torchwood as a whole tbh. like my whole fandom experience + relationship with this fixation has been bastardized to all hell bc of ocd issues. it all feels very... dirty right now.

which fucking sucks, cuz torchwood's one of my fav fixations ive ever had, it became so important to me so fast and it's probably hit special interest territory at this point - but it sucks what a thin line it is between obsessing over a hyperfixation, and compulsively engaging with something. it sucks when the serotonin u get from smth also gets laced with pervasive anxiety. my recent main issue with ocd has been avoidance - i went from obsessively going thru torchwood clips to being unable to watch it at all bc the very thought of doing so makes me so anxious.

(so, tldr? my mental illness garbage is interfering w my interests and my ability to engage with fandom, to my chagrin, and that's why i haven't posted anything else.)

that being said: between april 2023 and now i have written 180k words of torchwood fanfic. im endlessly fascinated and inspired by these characters, particularly by owen who has lowkey proven to be my muse lol. (he sits in my mind palace on top of a, like, literal fancy ass corinthian pedestal and his one job is to sit still n look pretty and sad but instead he snarks down at me every time i walk passed and in return i squirt a water gun at him and occasionally throw tomatoes at him. it's a very mutually loving relationship.) and 180k words in, and literally hundreds of hours spent thinking about and talking about tw/owen, and im still fascinated by it/him, there are still soooo many things i wanna explore through writing with these characters that i adore so much. 57k of the 180k words is part of what will eventually be a sequel series to an ugly picture (which is meant to be a stand-alone, for the record, but towards the end of the writing process i went "Hm. Actually I Have More Ideas", and it became a whole 'verse heh). problem is i dont rmr the fic enough to continue the first sequel and currently i cant revisit it and take notes 🤡 so that project's on hold. as for the other stuff, it's a good mix of misc one-shots and full-on projects, and several things are pretty much done and could, if i were anyone else, easily be polished and posted.

but, as ive made clear, unfortunately writing (well, revising + editing) is an absolute nightmare for me. now, im recently back on medication after nearly two years of rawdogging it, and ive been having issues with that fff (namely constant pervasive exhaustion) - but im working to figure out a happy medium, so im HOPING, hell, praying, that once i level out ill be able to open my docs and sit down and finish things without it being a goddamn ordeal. editing's not rlly fun for anyone, but it fucking sucks when your absolute favorite hobby + mode of expression gets terrorized by a wiggity wack disorder.

first order of business, once im able, is a 15k owen/andy fic that's literally 90% done. i wanted to post it in june, for pride month, and then my brain decided to convince me i wasnt being coherent in the slightest and i was like, nah, i cannot make myself soldier through the editing project this time, i dont want this to get ruined the same way. but hopefully soon i can drop that and it will be epic and such 😎

so in summation uh (sorry im a known babbler fdshk but this is what happens when u send an ask to someone who wrote a 30k fic where literally nothing happens KJFSD. also sorry for literally trauma dumping unprompted 😭 i did the white woman in the kmart thing) ive written a ton of torchwood fic and i 100% intend to write a ton more but mental illness garbage is trying to sabotage shit so basically im taking a break from trying to post any of it until my brain lets me enjoy my damn interest in relative peace 👍but i definitely have a lot more fic on the way. just might take a while for it to see the light of day. hopefully not that long

anyway thank you again so so so much for liking the fic enough to read it multiple times that means so much to meee. i hope to have more for u soon :))

[m1ckeyb3rry]

It’s unbelievable how much we are on the same wavelength LMAO YOUR HAIR GEL JOKES ALWAYS HIT I LOVE THEM Keep rambling on because it’s truly doing wonders blessing my feed!!

But ALSO OMG YEAH THE EPINAGI PINKIE THING HAD ME ROLLING LMAOOO Tbh I’m also not much of a reonagi shipper so I feel you! Movie def felt a bit rushed though I’m glad they added in some cool Nagi scenes!! His aura in the movie was sooo pretty I loved how they did that but YEAH MY DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN WE DIDNT GET CRUMBS OF THEIR MATCH AGAINST KARASU AND OTOYA??? I guess it was pretty recent in the epinagi chapters but I was fr hoping for more scenes with them T-T I was actually kinda just comparing it to the recent spy x family movie too and you can definitely notice some of the less refined moments in parts of the animation haha….overall I like how they explored a bit more of Nagi fs but it kinda makes me want another installment of the movie that’s less rushed and includes more of the actual epinagi content instead of only the parts that overall with the main series…I mean as a Nagi fan too I’m not really complaining much bc hey, more Nagi screen time! Considering the speed in which they got this out I won’t complain too much about the quality though I still think it was a good watch for Nagi and BLLK fans in general lolll

Ok but I think they chose Karasu’s va sooooo well like it fits him perfectly which I’m really happy about but THAT ADDITIONAL TIME CLIP I feel like the art is always a bit crunchy for those I kinda died at the close up on Karasu’s face there but ykw I’ll take it it’s Karasu so…

I LIVE FOR WEIRD LITTLE FREAK CHILD HIORI OMG that epinagi scene where he looks like that balled up watery eyed hamster meme thing (I hope you get the ref bc I’m not sure how else to explain LOL) I loved the light novel references in remember going crazy when that chapter released with the whole stalking thing LOLL

LMAOOO 1 CM TALLER YUKIMIYA IM CRYING THATS GENIUS I completely forgot about that fact you thought this out so well!! Imagine he puts in extra hair gel or styles his hair a little differently to add even more height or something

KARASU LOOKS SO GOOD IN THE EPINAGI MANGA!!!! I know exactly which panel you’re talking about and it’s permanently living in my camera roll! I think the next chapter should be coming out relatively soon?? But I’m also so happy that we get to see more action from Karasu and Otoya!!! And ofc their interactions with Chigiri and Nagi too! (Actually when I first got into BLLK nagi was my fav HAHA it’s changed around a little bit but he still holds a special place in my heart so I feel that) The Chigiri Barou dynamic lately is also something I’ve been loving lately they’re so goofy as a rival duo it’s hilarious

LMAOOO I COULD HEAR JUSTIN BIEBER SAYING THOSE WORDS AS I READ THEM but THANK YOU AGAIN!!! I’ll happily eat up whatever work you throw out even if it’s not Karasu because there’s just something about your writing style that’s just so nice to read (Ngl I kinda stalked your page and read through your other works like Cherry Tree, Peregrine, White Butterfly, Pathways, etc. and honestly your writing has been just invading my brain throughout the day your work is just amazing (I almost cried reading White Butterfly too)) but also don’t forget to take care of yourself!! No rush at all I hope you enjoy yourself while writing everything!!! You never fail to deliver and I’m glad to have given an opportunity for you to write about Karasu!

- Karasu anon :)

P. S. That Rin art you reblogged jumpscared me so bad LMAOOO almost died laughing and nearly peeing my pants LOL Also sorry these are always so long I just noticed the last reply you sent needed to have the “keep reading” button in order to respond to everything I said oops lmk if you’d prefer I be more concise HAHA

omg YAYYAY i love that we agree!! the hair gel jokes are necessary unfortunately…the one manga panel in the pxg vs bm game where we see him from above and his hair forms a ninety degree angle HAUNTS me. how long does bro spent sculpting that 😭

THE PINKY THING WAS SO FUNNY PLEASE i cannot get over it like why did they add that in LMAOAO i feel like reonagi is one of those ships that i acknowledge is probably closer to canon than most but i just do not care about it. honestly i don’t really have any ships in bllk (except kunigiri a bit??) that i’m super into just because them being weirdos abt soccer is so much funnier than anything!! i’ve also never really been a big shipper in general w any show i watch so that could also be why. like i recognize they exist and idc what other people ship but me personally you’ll never see me pressed or championing one ship or another. for me romance is more of a route to character exploration than a be-all end-all which is why on the RARE occasions i read a ship fic it’s almost always for the most random rare pair — you have to understand characters super well to convincingly write them together when they’ve met MAYBE once on screen so those types of fics always end up being more interesting to me. overall though if i like a character i’m going to write my own stories abt them and i’m not abt to write them w someone else when i could write abt them being in love with me 🙄 HAHA

i love nagi’s whole sparkly death aura i think it’s super cool!! and the little vacuum sound effect whenever he touches the ball hehe they definitely made it so pretty in the movie. i wasn’t expecting karasu and otoya to pull up just because of how recently it happened in the manga but i was still sad because they just made the second selection a montage (although when rin pulled up with his dramatic ass theme i laughed tbh) 😔 like ik we see it in the show already but LET ME SEE IT AGAINNNN!! i think w bllk the good animation is REALLY good and the bad is…well it’s certainly smth!! but i agree it was a fun movie and watch if you already like bllk…i hope they eventually do release another one or maybe an ova or smth w the rest of the second selection from nagi’s pov i would love to see it on screen.

the additional times either have majestic animation (the aryu vs rin glam battle was like. oddly well animated i feel??) or they’re super crunchy and i fear tabieitaken got the short end of the stick this time around…hoping they don’t do them dirty in season two because those are two of the most handsome boys in the manga (plus otoya) so i will be heartbroken if they aren’t given justice. karasu’s voice actor is super good though!! i actually do think bllk (at least the sub, i haven’t watched dub so can’t comment on that) has hit the mark with va’s every time. they all sound exactly how i would expect them too so far and i can’t wait for more scenes w the newer characters!!

YESS IK WHICH HAMSTER YOU MEAN that’s exactly what he looks like!! i don’t feel too bad about slandering hiori in the fwtkac series because i wrote white butterfly where he’s the main interest so obviously i don’t hate him…plus fwtkac y/n is hiori’s biggest (and probably only atm) defender so it balances out (and technically all of his nonsense is literally canon KHLFJSJD his light novel is so funny!! why does he literally stalk karasu (me fr though)!! i feel like in the manga it seems like karasu’s interest in hiori is v one-sided but then you read the ln and you’re like oh…this guy (meaning hiori) is actually a little bit Not Normal…in the words of y/n “he was definitely a freak.”) his light novel goes the most into depth about karasu’s character (it’s almost as much abt karasu as it is about hiori) so i did a reread before starting fwtkac and that’s what made me include little references to it!!

I JUST CHECKED THEIR WIKI PAGES BEFORE WRITING THAT TO MAKE SURE IT WAS TRUE i honestly forgot which one was taller between the two of them but i had a sense it was yuki AND IT WAS DSLFKJ especially the fact that it’s only by one cm you KNOW that is karasu’s roman empire…tbf i don’t think that it includes hair because according to the wiki nagi is taller than barou but w the hair included i think they end up being about the same height?? though nagi does slouch a bit so that much contribute to it…imagine the hairstyle y/n makes fun of in the series is actually a different one than we’re used to and he only pulls up w the crow hairstyle while in bllk so he can feel like he’s taller than yukimiya HAHAHA

oh that panel will forever be famous in the hearts of all karasu stans…plus the ones of him in the latest chapter AHHHH that is one pretty boyyy. chigiri and barou are so unserious together i honestly love how chigiri is characterized in epinagi!! he’s so much sillier than he is in the main manga. omg so i actually started the show because of rin and then when i first started watching i really liked kunigami?? i was pretty lukewarm on nagi during his first appearance and then i noticed myself rewatching his scenes in the team v vs team z match and i was like oh no…then he was in the second selection and it went downhill from there and now he’s my stupid dumb squishy boyfriend who i love sm 🥹 omg who are your favs now?? besides karasu ofc 😏

PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THEY ALMOST CRIED TO WHITE BUTTERFLY IS IT REALLY THAT SAD??? i had fun writing that one though it felt very whimsical and dreamy which fit hiori imo…omg peregrine i need to get back to working on it hehe i love nagi and reo in that fic!! the boys of all time fr 💖 thank you so much though you’re too kind ����🏻 i do enjoy writing a lot!! i’ve been pretty bored this summer so i’m glad that my milestone event could line up with me having sm free time…although honestly just by doing requests i’ve gotten so many new followers that i might have to do another event soon 😭 i actually really like having them open though!! i think i’ll probably leave them closed for a bit while i finish up the existing ones and work on some of my own ideas but i might open them up just for bllk again in the future because everyone’s ideas are sm fun and i love meeting new people through them!! plus i get to try writing for new characters…like realistically i never would’ve written for sae hiori or even isagi and kaiser without people requesting for them but some of those requests ended up becoming my fav fics i’ve written so far!! we will see though hehe no promises atm but like i said i’m always open to thoughts and if inspiration strikes then i won’t say no 🤩

PLSSSS THAT RIN FANART HAD ME DYING that’s who rin is to me!! he is an emotionally unavailable little weirdo SKLDJFLKJS i think a big reason why i don’t really like rin that much is because his fanon characterization is so different from the type of character i like that i’m just meh abt him. actual canon rin is one of my favs though he’s sooo funny and such a loser but i CANNOT engage with 90% of media abt him because i’m just sitting there like He Would Not Say That. ofc characters are open to interpretation though so i will never slander someone for writing him how they want to but i am afraid that the rin who exists to me and the rin who exists to the world are very diff characters entirely

NOOO dw i love getting long asks!! i add the ‘read more’ so that people who want to lurk on my blog don’t have to scroll through a bunch of my nonsense chattering to get to things like my writing/the majestic fan art that i reblog but long asks are like my fav thing ever so please don’t restrain yourself!! i will respond to each and every thing you say with pleasure 🤞🏻

[silly-cheese-rat]

i read all of it and DAMN!! i like to think im rather well versed on the apple/steve lore considering ive read both his daughters memoir and chrisanns, read many-a-article and interview and am halfway thru his own memoir, but i genuinely had no idea john was THAT down bad. like seriously, got damn.

genuinely, thank u for that, not only was it great to read but it may or may not have opened my third eye

(i may or may not be floating rn.)

I'm glad when I learn something new about Steve, although I don't actively seek out information about him anymore. I don't know every single detail, but I do know quite the stuff abt him and the things he did — and to me that's enough. I've never read any of the biographies, including the ones made by his relatives, but I know small parts of a few of them bc they've been quoted in articles and whatnot.

But it's no wonder you didn't know how Sculley felt/feels abt Steve — you're reading about Steve, not Sculley. I read and watch things about/from Sculley pretty often bc I'm not only interested in his days at Apple (although those were very formative and important years), but him as a whole. Only recently I've watched a video from September 2023 where Sculley invited a fella from Mastercard up on stage to talk about marketing for 29 minutes, and I ate that shit up as if it's an episode of an award-winning show. However, I read about Apple in a broader way, but mostly about what Apple was like during the years where John Sculley and Michael Spindler were CEOs (which means 1983 to 1996) since those eras are the most interesting to me technology-, marketing-, financial- and relationship-wise.

Anyways, I'm glad I was able to share something interesting about John Sculley :-) Especially since it was about him and his relationship with Steve, bc that's a topic a lot of people don't know jack about and just spew the same nonsense. Sculley even got a bunch of hate mail bc ppl think he fired Steve (and I wouldn't be surprised if he still does get some, judging by the tone people usually use when they talk about him on social media [which is a very nasty one])