#like ok Joaquin you ate this one little thing!

[dulcewrites]

This is sooooo bitw Aegon imma be SICK

[templarhalo]

Templarhalo reviews Birds of Prey. (It’s pretty fantabulous)

HERE BE SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Ok without this movie, I would have not been a Cassandra Cain fan.  I would have not four, yes four ongoing fics with her as the main character.  I would not be emotionally and financially invested in the DC cinematic universe or the comics side of things. 

Which baffles me because this movie is perfect in almost every aspect,...   Except how they treated Cassandra Cain.   Which  is a fucking shame because her actress is perfect, her chemistry and relationship with Harley is perfect, and the idea of Cass growing up as this pickpocket foster kid, taken in by Harley is unconventional, but I fucking love it. 

Here’s a brief summary. After breaking up with the Joker�� Harley Quinn has to make her own way as the strong, badass, indepent woman we all know she is, while dealing with the fact that without Mistah J’s  fell reputation as his significant other to shield her, a lot of people want her raped, tortured, killed and left for the crows…  Not necessarily in that order.    

To get these people off her back and save her own skin, from one of them, the infamous Black Mask. Harley agrees to recover the Bertinelli Diamond, a diamond encoded with the info for a source of 30 million dollars, Black Mask needs to fiance his take over of Gotham. Which was pickpocketed from one of his associates by our Lady and savior Cass.   

The problem is, Cass kind of ate it( (I shit you not) and Black Mask’s guys would rather cut it out of her than wait for the poor kid to take a dump   Not to mention Detective tReene Montoya (played by her Gotham Actress, which would have been a nice bit of world building if Gotham was actually in the movie continuity) building a case against Black Mask, with the aid of Black Canary   Plus Huntress is indirectly gunning for him and Harley in her own quest for revenge.   All these plot points converge into  a very satisfying climax and fight scene with a somewhat  emotionally satisfying ending. 

From  a technical standpoint this film is a spectacle.   Gotham in the day is colorful but rundown, with markets, suave evil bad guy clubs, dilapidated Chinese restaurants and abandoned amusement parks.   The fight scenes are AMAZING  with a wonderful tension and energy that makes them incredibly visualising satisfying.  Everything flows, the ladies move with an enthralling  grace that makes them breaking bones, crushing legs,and tearing through people visceral and heartstopping.  (And arousing. Like goddamn Jurnee Smollett-Bell could kill me with her legs and I’d thank her)

The problem, is none of this applies to  Cass, and this is the films major flaw besides how short it is. (One hour and forty five minutes).  If you had problems with how Harley was handled in Suicide Squad, the movie fixes it.  Black Canary gets a short but satisfying emotional arc that feels natural. She goes from a cynical, lethargic woman, content to be Black Masks “Little Bird”; A singer at his club, driver and symbol of his power/dominance over other women until her own conscience kicks in at Harley and Cass’ predicament.  Huntress also has a short but satisfying arc in which she gets her vengeance on the people who murdered her family and clearly finds a new one to fill the hole in her life, in the form of the Birds.  Reene and her portrayal is a love letter to the 80s cop/hard boiled detectives, a pure, simultaneously complicated/uncomplicated woman seeking to do good for Gotham.       

But Cass… Doesn’t feel like Cass and is criminally underutilized except as a walking mcguffin by dint of eating the Mcguffin.   She’s introduced to us a snarky tween, stuck in a cycle of shitty foster homes and a pickpocket to get by.  And that’s it.  T

here are moments where you think she'll get a cool fight scene.  Moments where you think she’ll have an emotional heart to heart with Harley,   moments where you think…she’ll do something besides run from the bad guys and get saved by the Birds of Prey/Her four moms. 

 In the end she drives into the sunset with Harley and Bruce the Hyena, but it doesn’t feel earned, satisfying as the scene is.  There is nothing implying or hinting she’s the daughter of two of the deadliest assassins in the DC universe, nothing about her running away from David Cain, nothing on her learning disabilities/selective mutism  and NOTHING, setting her up to be adopted by Batman and become Batgirl 

And this is a fucking shame, because Ella Jay Basco has a real chemistry with Margert and the rest of the cast.  She’s adorable, funny, snarky and wonderful as Cass. She brings energy and spunk and I would cut off my left hand, to see her act as Cassandra Cain, not this  generic punk kid with the name.

And I feel like this is  a HUGE problem because the movie sets up this Mother/daughter relationship, with Cass being Harley’s motivation to be a better person.  She goes from willing to hand her over to Black Mask to taking the kid under her wing.   Cass is the glue that bands the Birds of Prey together.   These lovely, dangerous, women coming together to keep a little girl safe,  doesn’t feel as emotionally satisfying as it should because Cass isn’t Cass.

While I will praise the movie for Harley’s arc of seeking her own emancipation and agency outside her abusive relationships and life of crime,  I feel like Harley’s arc should have been a question of redemption.    Cassandra’s motivation to become Batgirl was her refusal to kill again.  (Hey WB remember how in Batman Begins Bruce refused to kill a man because “I will not be an executioner.”)  

Here Cass is fine with killing. She chucks a bomb at some goons chasing her and  she kills Black Mask with a grenade in the end.

Yeah… Cass “I refuse to kill because my dad made me kill an innocent man at eight years old and killing is wrong” kills people.  

*head meet desk*

Sucide Squad, set up Harley and the squad, for an unconventional redemption arc, spite motivated it may be, yet Harley despite her line to Cass “You make me want to  be a less terrible person”  isn’t seeking to make amends for what she did as the Joker’s henchman.  (Like being an accomplice to Jason Todd’s murder).   

.Cass pickpots and steals to survive, because she’s a kid with no family passed from foster home to foster home, Harley steals because she can, steal a truck to blow up a chemical plant because she can.  Kills because she can.   (granted she does use an M79 grenade launcher with bean bag shells for one scene but besides that.) 

I like the idea of Harley taking Cass under her wing, its an unconventional but fresh idea, but it doesn’t feel entirely satisfying, and Cass not being Cass, not having an arc beyond “Go along with Harley as her apprentice” really undermines the excellent themes and message the movie is trying to convey.

Now maybe in the Suicide Squad reboot with James Gunn or a future DC film , Cass is going to leave Harley because that life of crime and killing doesn’t suit her and she realizes she’s trying to be something she’s not and I’m just being overly critical, but I still feel like “Harley and Cass seeking redemption and moving past their abusers together”  should have been where this movie left off, and it baffles me that it doesn’t from a narrative perspective.

Anway the overall themes and message of Birds of Prey are represented in Evan Mcregor’s Black Mask, a walking talking example of repressive toxic masculinity and misogyny.   A flamboyant, all but stated to  be a repressed Bi, crime lord seeking to take control of Gotham, Black Mask moves with confidence in his loud suits, and charming quirkiness,   He’s cruel, sadistic and repulsive  His mannerisms ooz terror,and insanity. He moves like a love child between Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix’s take on the Joker, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and Joffery Baratheon from Game of Thrones.   He’s a control freak, trying to  be a badass. 

 One minute he’s the Godfather, the next he’s a brat.  He views Harley as nothing without the Joker, telling her that she needs him to protect her.   He enjoys asserting his dominance over Harley during her brief capture by having his men beat her while he eats popcorn.  He objectifies Black Canary for her singing voice and beauty..   

Black Mask asserts his power and authority over the underworld by  his control over women.  In one  frightening scene, he believes one of the women at his club is laughing at him for his failure to capture Cass, so he orders her  to stand on a table, then for her boyfriend to rip open her dress with a knife because he finds it ugly.

In summary he represents the patriarchy.  He represents sexist, abusive men.   He’s a representation of social norms and ideals that are repressive and disgusting, and rob women of their agency, and self-worth. He represents the use of violence, not for noble reasons, but as a means to control women and lash out at those that defy him and supposedly wronged him .

Furthering this line of thought are  the costumes. Black Canary’s costumes represent the amount of control, Black Mask has in her life.  When we first see her, Dinah is wearing a long black netted evening gown that accents her legs as she sings “It’s a Man’s Man’s World”. Later she wears  a blue tank top and gold, tightfitting pants clearly meant to draw our gaze to her ass and thighs. When she’s Black Mask’s driver, she’s wearing a Bra/crop top that bares her midriff under a short blue blaze, but when she decides she’s going to defy him, she wears a yellow tank top and jeans with  a gold belt.

Harley’s costumes are as eclectic as she is, with her DIY caution tape shawl, stamped tops and cut up shorts.  Huntress’s outfits are all black leather and punkish athletic wear, utilitarian and elegant in their simplicity while Reene wears  a  “I shave my balls for this” t-shirt reflecting her uncouth, blunt demeanor, as well as button down  dress shirts and slacks for the climactic asskicking montage .  

Cass is a kid,who clearly doesn’t have the funds for super nice clothes. She;s running around in ratty shorts and a worn out hoody with  a red windbreaker, with an orange bandanna askew on her head.  At the end, when she rides off with Harley, she copying Harley’s style.

Speaking of costumes, one thing I appreciate is that instead of the male gaze and sexualisation, we get what I like to call “passive fan service”  What I mean is that instead of tracking shots on Harley’s ass or boob shoots, like in Suicide Squad  the camera just lets these women’s beauty do the talking. 

 Huntress is wearing a sports bra and tactical pants for the climax, but the camera doesn’t linger on her boobs.  A primary example of this is a lot of Padme’s scenes in Episodes II and III of Star Wars.  Lucas knows Natalie Portman is a gorgeous woman and he doesn’t need to remind us by deliberate camera shots.  He lets Natalie herself and Trisha Biggar’s excellent costumes do it for us. 

Also one thing I really… really liked was how in the big penultimate fight, Harley actually passes Dinah a hair tie so she can get her hair out of the way. So for like a minute, she’s beating the ever loving fuck out of goons with her legs as she ties up her hair.  A very nice case of reality ensures.

In conclusion Birds of Prey is another notch in the belt for the DC cinematic universe, a solid, fun film with  an excellent cast with clear chemistry, hampered by character derailment that undermines its sorely needed themes and message it's trying to convey.   The plot is  fast paced, but doesn't feel rushed even though it’s only a little over an hour long.  It’s uncompromisingly  bold, bloody and hilarious. The lack of a proper post credits scene is somewhat annoying and I'm very disappointed how Cass was handled , but this is by no means a terrible film. 

Overall I give it a 8.9 out of 10.  Highly recommend you go see it. Drag your friends, smuggle in as much candy and drinks as you can.  Buy it when it comes out on DVD.   If you’re a Cass fan, reread the Puckett run or pick up her new graphic novel Shadow of the Batgirl to wash out the bittersweet taste this will give you.  Speaking of Kelley Puckett, he was actually listed in the “Special thanks to…”  in the credits, which i’m sure many will appreciate.

These following posts and thoughts on the film I recommend.

https://dcwomenofcolor.tumblr.com/post/190693985900/how-would-you-fix-bop-cass

https://wits-writing.tumblr.com/post/190718974642/birds-of-prey-movie-review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YeFJjoQoec

[vanillaflavour81]

@love-joaquin-and-kevin asked me for the following fluffy Joavin prompts:

27. "Are you sure about this?" 40. "Do you need that much candy?" 42. "Here take my sweater." 56. "I did it to protect you." 77. "What happened last night?"

"Movie date with my boyfriend." Kevin thought happily and couldn't stop himself from grinning. He had the house all to himself. His dad and Sierra had gone to a small romantic holiday over the weekend. So Kevin had decided that he deserved a romantic weekend too and had invited Joaquin to stay with him. Kevin had prepared the living room for a movie marathon. Lots of pillows and blankets, more snacks than they could ever eat and all the Harry Potter movies. When Joaquin finally arrived, Kevin pulled him into the house, not wasting any time, kissed him hello and shoved him into the living room. "Look, everything is ready for a super cozy movie marathon. Are you ready?" Joaquin let his gaze wander over the room, and a small smirk was forming on his face. "Wow, Preppy... you know how to do this hmm?" Kevin shrugged and chuckled. Joaquin seemed to be impressed, and it pleased Kevin tremendously. He sat down on the couch and patted the space beside him, "Come here, babe. Let's start." Joaquin sat down and almost knocked over the tray with all their snacks. "Oh, what is this? Um... Do you need that much candy?" "Yes of course! Don't look at me like that, I know that you love candy too." Joaquin raised an eyebrow and nodded. "I love sweet things yes. You are sweet.. sweeter than candy." He leaned closer, and his hand was suddenly on Kevin's thigh and his lips on Kevin's neck, and usually, Kevin would have definitely not complained, but he had worked all day for this movie date... he grabbed Joaquin's hand and put it on the couch next to his thigh. "Hey stop that, first Harry Potter marathon!" "Are you honestly turning me down for Harry Potter?" Joaquin asked him incredulously. "He is the Chosen One, Joaquin!" For a moment Joaquin just stared at him, but then he burst out laughing and slumped down on the couch next to Kevin. "Ok, I won't stand a chance against that." Kevin chuckled and started the first movie. Soon they were cuddled up against each other, looking at the tv screen and snacking on some candy occasionally. After the first movie was over, Kevin got up to get some milk for himself and some coke for Joaquin, all the while smiling. The movie date went exactly how Kevin had imagined it, and he was really happy about it. It was the first time that he got to spend so much time with Joaquin. They had the whole night and most of tomorrow. He was still in thought when he walked back into the living room and over to the couch, and that was probably why he stumbled over one of the pillows, which had fallen to the ground. He caught himself, but the milk and coke spilled over Joaquin. "Oh god! Sorry!" Joaquin's shirt was drenched, he looked up at Kevin with big blue eyes, "Dammit!" But then his features turned into a sly smirk and Kevin knew that he was in trouble Joaquin winked at him and slowly pulled his shirt off and settled back comfortably on the couch, leaning back so Kevin could get a good look at his naked torso. He was still smirking, and Kevin found himself unable to tear his gaze away when Joaquin ran a hand down his chest slowly and winked at him. "Like what you see, Preppy?" Of course he liked it! But Kevin didn't want to give in that easily. There were still so many movies to watch. He sighed and quickly turned around, running up the stairs to his room. He grabbed a sweater and went back downstairs and practically threw the pullover at Joaquin. "Here take my sweater." Joaquin rolled his eyes, but he did as Kevin told him and put the sweater on. Kevin sat down next to him again and started the next movie. It didn't take long until Joaquin leaned against him, resting his head on Kevin's shoulder and Kevin smiled and put an arm around his boyfriend. "You look cute in my sweater." "Hmm I like it, it smells like you." They stayed like that for a long time, comfortably snuggled together on the couch, watching Harry Potter and eating candy. After several hours they both drifted off to sleep, still on the couch. Kevin woke up the next morning blinking sleepily and wondering where he was...this wasn't his room.. why was he in the living room and why was he wearing jeans and a sweater? "What happened last night?" Kevin thought irritatedly for a moment. He sat up and grimaced, his neck ached from lying on the couch for so long. And then he remembered. He had watched Harry Potter with Joaquin, they must have fallen asleep during that. Kevin smiled and stretched. He could hear the coffee machine in the kitchen, Joaquin was making breakfast for them it seemed. The smile on Kevin's face grew even wider. Joaquin took that moment to walk out of the kitchen, and Kevin watched as his boyfriend walked over to the couch with two cups of coffee and a sweet smile on his face. "Good morning, Preppy. A coffee for you.." He handed Kevin his cup and sat down next to him. They were both still a bit tired and so they just sat there in silence and sipped their coffee until Joaquin spoke up: "What do you want to eat? I can make french toast for us if you want." "No stay here, you don't have to make anything. We can just eat some more candy." Kevin looked at the table, where they had left all the candy yesterday...but all the plates were empty. Kevin looked at Joaquin in surprise. "Where is my candy?" "Um... I ate it..." "You did what? But baby, how could you?" "I did it to protect you!" "From what?" "From.. from candy poisoning! Too much candy is bad for you!" Kevin stared at him for a few seconds and then burst out laughing, almost falling off the couch. This was one of the things he loved most about Joaquin. He didn't seem like it, but he was really funny. They decided to really make some french toast and Kevin followed Joaquin into the kitchen and helped him. The rest of the day went by fast. They continued to watch the movies, but this time they didn't really see much because they were too busy making out. It was already pretty late when Joaquin reluctantly pulled away from Kevin.

"I have to go, Preppy. Your dad will be home soon." He smiled at Kevin a bit sadly and got up from the couch. Kevin sat up and watched him for a moment before he made up his mind and blurted out: "Joaquin, please stay! Wait until my dad comes home... I want you to meet him finally." Joaquin turned to look at him with big eyes. "Are you sure about this?" 

Kevin could see a range of emotions flicker across his boyfriend's face. Surprise, happiness, doubt...  It amazed Kevin at how good he had become at reading Joaquin. He wondered why he had never before realized how much of an open book Joaquin was. He wasn't good at hiding his emotions when it came to Kevin.  And Kevin could see how much this meant to Joaquin, could see the wonder in his eyes, that Kevin would suggest introducing Joaquin to his dad. It made Kevin feel like crying, especially the doubt he could see creeping over Joaquin's features. How could Joaquin think that Kevin wanted to hide him, keep him as his dirty little secret... "Of course I am sure!" Kevin said quickly and walked over to his boyfriend and took Joaquin's hand in his, pulling him closer. "I love you, and I want us to be official. I want to have this all the time." He pointed at the living room and their little pillow fortress. "I want to be able to have you here whenever I want, watch movies with you, sit in the kitchen with you and drink coffee, sleep in your arms... I want my dad to know about us. You make me so happy, Joaquin. It isn't ok to hide you. Everybody should know that we are together and how good you are for me."

Joaquin's answering smile was all the confirmation Kevin needed, that this was the right thing to do. His boyfriend looked so genuinely happy. Kevin hugged him close and kissed him again, slow and gentle, and they stayed like that until Kevin's dad returned and learned that his son had a very nice Serpent boyfriend.

Thanks a lot for the prompts! I hope I could make you smile with my little story! ❤

You can find my current Joavin prompt list here. Just send an ask with any combination of numbers. Or send other prompts :) I always love writing about Joaquin and Kevin!

tag-list: @inspiredbynewt  @love-joaquin-and-kevin @rik-raq-jo-gonzo1186@mebeingateenager

[kor-knight]

Deal with the Devil ch 5

Hey all. Sorry it’s been a few days, I’ve been so torn between giving up writing and trudging forward. I don’t have many people who I can confide it, so a lot of this is an internal struggle. But a new chapter has arrived, so have no fear. You’re stuck with me for a little longer. 

Ao3 link here! Hope you enjoy.

Prom was less than 3 weeks away and Jughead still hadn’t found the time to ask Betty to go with him.

Not that he wanted to go.

Or that she was even talking to him.

But the bet was still on, and a new guitar was on the line.

But there was something else. Something different. It was a feeling in his gut, a telltale sign of attraction. He liked Betty. The time he spends with her is so few and far between that he’s begun to really cherish the sparse moments when they talk, the glances in the hall, the smiles reserved for her piercing green eyes were becoming a habit. It was impossible not to smile around her.

Betty was smart – like really smart. She had a 4.0 GPA, took part in 4 different extra curricular activities, not including helping set up prom. Plus she was a published author for her parents citywide newspaper.

She was so under the radar at school it was impossible to really find someone who knew basically anything about her. Other than her name of course.

Betty Cooper.

But technically, that wasn’t her actual full name. It was Elizabeth Cooper. Jughead had only actually found that out after their third date.

Well it wasn’t technically a date, but he was letting the meaning blur a bit in this case.

It was also the day she stopped talking to him.

They had spent the day in the backyard of her house – only allowed because Betty’s parents were away at some “Small town newspaper meeting” in Pembrooke. Whatever that meant. It was super official and lowkey important for all “members of the newspaper community” to be there. So they were out of Riverdale for 3 days straight. Betty had called him asking if he was up for another homework session.

Of course it wasn’t actually homework that was being done.

Well, for him anyway.

Betty’s resolve is impossible to sway when it comes to whether she should stop doing her work or not. Jughead had tried to convince her to take a break for well over an hour and a half, but with no prevail. Betty trudged on with her work until later that night.

When she finally put her pencil down and sighed, Jughead knew her resolve had worn out.

He smiled at her, leaning back on his elbows. He was sprawled out on the blanket they had laid down to stop the grass from itching their legs. It was large, unbelievably soft, and now covered with a shit tonne of books.

“Finally done with your self sabotage?” He quirked a brow, playful smirk dancing on his lips. She scoffed at him, but kept her eyes on the book in front of her.

After awhile she asks, “How do you do it?”

Sitting up, Jughead leaned forward, hands on his bent knees. “Do what?”

Betty let out a low groan, hands on her head. “This!” She swung her arms out around her. “How do you just stay so … disconnected from the world?”

He was shocked. “What exactly do you mean?”

Betty opened her mouth, then closed it once more. Finally, she spoke. “You’re just so nonchalant about everything.” She pointed a long finger at his chest. “You don’t care about social standards.” her finger retracts as she places her hand on the blanket in front of his legs. “You don’t care about school.” She looked down at her papers, moving them slightly. “And you don’t care about what people think of you.” Her hand came out to lay on his chest.

His breath caught in his throat, heart pounding against his rib cage. He was sure she could feel it, especially with the way the corners of her lips curled upward.

So he did what any sensible teenage boy would do.

He cleared his throat and made a joke.

“Is this where you tell me you’re secretly a robot and here to save my soul?” He placed a hand on his chest, above his heartbeat – and Betty’s still steady hand.

She stared at him for a few seconds, eyes wide and body tense. Then she dropped her head and let out her heavenly laugh. It was louder than most times, and her body more animated. Shoulders shaking and fingers curling into fists as she leaned forward, head on Jughead’s shoulder. He smiled down at her, watching. He’d never seen her so lively before. So open and carefree.

Ask her now idiot!

He shook his head, leaning back slightly and laughing along with her.

They had spent the rest of the evening together, lounging on the blanket, snacking on basically anything. Betty made a joke about how Jughead had a black hole stomach – impossibly deep, and unable to fill. He had returned the joke with a sly grin, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her face had flushed, her bottom lip between her teeth in a small smile. His hand lingered, fingers lightly running down her cheek. She leaned into his palm, eyes fluttering closed.

Thinking back to it now, Jughead realized he should’ve kissed her then.

But like the dumb ass he was.

He didn’t.

Instead, Jughead popped his collar, corners of his lips curled upward in a smug smirk, and he made the stupidest joke he could think of. “So is this the part where we make out?” He wiggled his eyebrows for good measure.

Betty’s smile dropped. She pulled away and retreated to the other side of the blanket. He could tell she was uncomfortable, with the way her hands curled into fists, her eyes staring down. She began pulling together her papers, busying herself with anything.

He reached a hand out. “Hey, I didn’t mean it.” She flinched from his touch, dropping the papers she just collected.

“I think you need to go.” She stated shyly.

Jughead dropped his hand to his side, staring. After a few very long moments passed, he finally asked, “What. Why?” He reached a hand out once more. Betty stood quickly, flying up the stairs and only stopping to speak over her shoulder.

“You just need to leave.” A minute went by before she added. “Please.”

Her small frame disappeared behind the door, leaving Jughead standing there, dumbfound and hand still extended.

That was 5 days ago, and Betty hadn’t seen, talked to or even looked his way since. He’d tried to talk to her the following Monday, determined to figure out what changed, but she wouldn’t have any part of it. Simply shook her head and turned the other way, stating she didn’t have time to talk. He nodded at the back of her head, watching her walk away with her head hung low and shoulders tense.

“I think I messed things up with Betty.” He finally blurted out, not looking up.

Joaquin sighed from somewhere beside him, sitting down and placing his hands on his knees. “What’d you do this time?” It was said in a joking matter, Jughead knew that, but it stung nonetheless. He just shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face. “Dude, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Jughead groaned, leaning back, he looked up his friends face. Concern was laced through every bit of Joaquin’s face. Another groan, before he opened his mouth and told him the story.

The whole story.

“So you’ve been seeing Betty like this since the bet began?” Jughead just nodded, unable to form sentences. “Why though?”

Why was the real question. Jughead just shrugged, playing with his long fingers idly. “At first I asked her to prom, you know, for the bet. She said no. But then I saw her in the hall, when the jocks were bullying Trev, and -” he inhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose, “- I don’t know. Then I saw her again, and she agreed to go on an actual date with me cause I made her laugh.” He was rambling now, he knew it. But that date was one of the best days of his life.

They had spent the day at the Bijuu, double feature of course. They ate popcorn, made terrible jokes, laughed far too loudly for a theater, and just enjoyed spending time together. He didn’t even try to hold her hand or kiss her, for fear of ruining the fun they were having.

“We just had so much fun together. And she had her hand on my chest. I thought she wanted to kiss me.” He was out of breath, pulling his fingers painfully.

Joaquin sat beside him, hand on his shoulder as he said, “Ok, relax. Deep breathe. Look, we’ll get you through this.” He just nodded, following the instructions. After a few deep breathes, his head began to clear a bit. “You ok now?” When Jughead nodded, Joaquin clasped his hands together. “Alright, here’s how we fix this.”

Jughead listened obediently, taking in the information with ease. “Since it seems like you humiliated her, you gotta do it now too.” When he quirked a brow, confusion on his face, Joaquin just laughed. “You have to make a fool of yourself to win her over dude.” Joaquin said it so matter of factly, like he’s known the answer since the beginning.

Nodding slightly, Jughead asked. “Ok, but how?”

Joaquin’s smile was anything but sincere as he clapped his hand on Jughead’s shoulder. “You’re gonna ask her to prom again.”

“How am I gonna ask her when she’s isn’t talk-”

Joaquin stuck up a finger, silencing him. “You’re gonna ask her in front of the entire school.”

Realization coursed through his veins as Joaquin’s smile grew. Shaking his head vigorously, Jughead stood. “Absolutely not.”

Joaquin sighed, standing too. “C’mon man. You like her right?”

Jughead nodded, crossing his arms. “Yeah, so?”

“Then this is the only way to win her heart over!”

“You know, it’s really easy to tell you’re gay when you talk like this.” He stated blatantly, frowning.

Joaquin just shrugged. “Yeah, so?” He teased, poking a finger at Jughead’s chest. “Are you going to man up and go get your lady?” He was wiggling his brows now, shaking his hips to imaginative music. It was all so surreal.

Could he really do it?

Finally, letting out a low groan Jughead nodded. “Fine!”

Joaquin squeaked, cleared his throat quickly, and clapped his hand on Jughead’s shoulder once more. “Ok so here’s what we’re gonna do.”

[maggiedoyle]

2018 in Review

I, along with the masses, feel the need to reflect on the year behind us as we move into a new one. All in all, it was a long and hard year for me, but looking back there were many, many good moments. I went through them today via photos on my iphone, to jog my memory of all the things I did, saw, and took in this year. While likely very boring for you, you can read my write-ups by month further down. I also wrote out the accomplishments I’m proudest of this year. What I most want to share, though, is that this exercise made me feel better and infinitely more grateful about the year that I had! It is OK to feel bad about the year, of course, but picking out the good stuff, the memories and accomplishments I will carry with me — that really helped me see 2018 for what it was and feel prepared for 2019.

This year I: walked a whole lot, with a daily average of 5.4 miles this December; started Couch-to-5K (lol) and can now run almost 2 miles without stopping; met my yearly savings goal; started a regular volunteer gig at Tenants Together and volunteered at the Women’s Building during tax season (hmu with ur housing/tax Qs, folks); fulfilled a years-old dream of traveling to Chile and Argentina (and somehow have now visited 5 continents!); spent my first full calendar year at a full-time job; completed my (albeit measly) reading goal of 12 books in 2018 (my favorite was The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes).  

My resolutions include: new savings goal to meet; run a 5k; cook more (lol); write more.

2018 was a long year for a me, a bit of a slog, really. In looking back at the highlights, I also want to be honest about the downsides and the ruts. I experienced a fair amount of depression this year, more than I ever have; I tried to make big life changes that ultimately fell through; and I cried a lot. If you know me well you know my whole life is an existential crisis, but turning 25 I entered a new phase of it and I’m still grappling with finding my place. But I do believe moving through the rough stuff is important and necessary (as Bright Eyes sings, “your eyes must do some raining if you’re ever going to grow.” A little trite, a lot true). I am so, so grateful for my friends and family who have supported me, listened to me, and reminded me of my strengths when I’ve had a hard time reminding myself.     

Onwards and upwards, 2019 <3

January

Rang in the new year with Leah and Sarah in DC and kissed some macaroni and cheese at midnight. Went from SF to DC and back again for family business (and saw all of my cousins together for the first time in years)— on a connecting flight, witnessed the magic of flying into LA at night. Saw so many DC/Maryland friends at a Mags-in-DC happy hour. Women’s marched.

February

Had a wonderful surprise visit from my dear friend Nacho from Chile; had a magical Dolores day that ended with free empanadas from our new friend Paula. Went back to Big Sur for the first time in 10 years (bless Nacho for supporting me in the most difficult driving I’ve ever done, in Matt’s car no less (thanks Matt!)). Went back to LA and visited the Figure 8 wall, the Museum of Death, and LACMA. Started happy hour tradition with Meredith at the Lake Chalet; sliders and lavender lemonades (lemony snickets). Got my first budget through the Port Commission.

March

Pisco party with Will. Celebrated Pi Day with Katie. Made an Irish soda bread for St. Patrick’s and celebrated with the Stones. Took a while to close out my tab because I was not the only Doyle in the bar that night (ha!). Watched the entirety of Six Feet Under, briefly considered career shift to funeral director.

April

Turned 25 and was overjoyed to be joined by my brothers for their first trip to visit me in California. We went to Land’s End and to Santa Cruz. Peter cooked a delicious salmon dinner for us before my party. Special out of town guests at my birthday included Jacob and Pablo (wow was I lucky!). Got the best haircut & highlights of my life (thanks Ms. Siobhan!). Walked to work on walk to work day. Easter morning mass with Gregory. 

May

This was the month I went to Olive Garden at the Stonestown Mall by myself and sat alone at the bar. They treated me like a queen. Discovered internal family systems with my therapist and reached a turning point in learning to value myself. Was featured on SFGOVTV while my boss presented to the Board of Supervisors and I looked beautiful that day. Biked to work on bike to work day. Started volunteering at Tenants Together. Ate a tacro, it was weird.

June

Baby’s first camping trip to Arroyo Seco with Maddy, Vinnie, Gabi, and Joey. We swam in a gorge and I got a sunburn. Then we went to In-N-Out and camped a second night in the Byrne’s living room because we didn’t get a campsite for the second night. Tradr Sam’s with Gregory (he has far too much video evidence of the debauchery of this occasion). Pride at Dolores Park, someone bought me a rainbow jello shot, I vigorously reapplied sunscreen but drunkenly missed the same spots every time.

July

Freezing SF summer. Enjoyed Mamma Mia 2 (here we go again!) with the biggest Cher fan in existence (love 2 Sabrina) and Molly and Filipa. Got some summertime weather in Sacramento with Leah, where we went to a country club to play in their pool and went to the state fair. Elotes and deep fried cookie dough.  

August

Attended the international dog surfing competition (!!!) in Pacifica. Had my first visit back to Ocean City in several years, ate crabs on my grandparents’ deck and Thrasher’s french fries on the boardwalk. Traveled to Chicago for a hot minute and then to Madison, Wisconsin to see two dear friends, Laura and Ryan, get married. Their song was “This Must Be The Place.” Deep fried cheese curds.

September

Another visit to LA, this time to see Maddy and Vinnie in their brand-new home. Ate so much delicious food (Little Ethiopia! Zankou! Tacos!), swam in the Pacific Ocean for the first time (really swam) with Vinnie, and almost got banned from Dodgers stadium. Runyon Canyon and Point Dume with Matt and Jacob. Met a dog who lives in a laundromat after one of Molly’s shows. Published my first budget book.

October

Hiked the Marin Headlands with Matt and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time (somehow). Dogsat Stella for the Byrnes. Bought cool new glasses for $15. Canvassed for Propositions C + 10. Saw Roma at the Castro Theatre with Sarah, and Alfonso Cuaron and Yalitza Aparicio were there. Fell three (3) times at a haunted house from being scared (Molly as my witness). Killed the Halloween costume game.

November

More canvassing and phone banking for Props C + 10 (C passed!). The seawall bond passed and I was proud to have given presentations to community groups about it. Beautiful, beautiful Dia de los Muertos in the Mission with Tyler. Incredible, incredible trip to Chile and Argentina — too much to write here — terrazando, carmenere and piscolas, la cordillera, empanadas and choripans, a million museums, amazing views, and incredible company in Nacho, Rodrigo, Santiago, Joaquin, Pipe and Paz and Pablo and more. Wow.

December

Clementime with Molly. Successfully recreated my favorite dish from Buenos Aires, pollo a la portuguesa (she cooked!). Visited Sabrina in Santa Cruz, hiked Buzzard’s Roost in Big Basin and attended the greatest Christmas/guitar factory store party ever. Macaroni Grill (!!!) w Mere. Parties and shows with Joe and Pete, the Building Museum with Maddy, drinks and dinners and lunches and brunches with old, old friends. Family festivities. Rewatched all 8 Harry Potter films in a four day span.

[vanillaflavour81]

Southside Showcase day 4: Fox Forest - Camping, Summer Vacations

Joaquin DeSantos + Camping, Joavin fanfic @buggiebreak

"Hey, can I bring someone?" Fangs, Toni and Sweet Pea turned around to eye Joaquin questioningly. They had been discussing their trip to Fox Forest when Joaquin had interrupted them. Sweet Pea was the first to say something, looking seriously puzzled: "Who do you know apart from Serpents?" Fangs and Toni both raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile slowly spreading across their faces. It was Fangs who asked: "So did he call you back?" Joaquin tried to stop himself from grinning madly and failed miserably. He nodded: "Yeah he did." Finally, Sweet Pea seemed to comprehend too: "Is this about Keller?" But the other three ignored him, Joaquin still shifting around nervously and Fangs and Toni both smiling brightly. "That's great! Of course, he can come to the campsite with us!" Toni said.

Joaquin finally looked over to his friends, relief written all over his face. He had dreaded to ask them, fearing that everyone would still be annoyed about Kevin's involvement in the riot against the Serpents. Sure Sweet Pea probably still was, but Joaquin had Fangs and Toni on his side, so Sweet Pea was outnumbered. It warmed Joaquin's heart to see Fangs and Toni looking at him like that, like proud parents, which was weird since he was the oldest of them, but it was also really sweet. He smiled back at them, grateful that his friends had reacted so well to his wish for him and Kevin to get back together. Joaquin had been unsure whether to contact Kevin or not when it had been clear that he would stay in Riverdale. His heart had screamed yes, but his mind had said no. He wanted nothing more than a second chance with Kevin, the boy he was still so hopelessly in love with. But was it fair towards Kevin? From what it looked like Kevin had moved on, and Joaquin didn't want to mess things up for Kevin by contacting him all of a sudden after all those months. Maybe Kevin was better off without him? But Joaquin couldn't stop thinking about him, about their time together, which had been the happiest months of Joaquin's life. And damn he wanted that back! He had picked up his phone a hundred times and typed some text intended for Kevin, but deleted it again before he could press the send button. He had been about to call Kevin countless times but then thrown his phone across the room to stop himself from doing it. In the end, it had been Fangs, who had helped Joaquin make up his mind and convinced him that he should just try his luck and talk to Kevin. "You will run into him anyways. Riverdale isn't that big. Just call him already and tell him everything. You have nothing to lose. Either he will listen and give you a chance, or you'll at least know for sure that you have to move on." And so Joaquin had sat down one evening, grabbed his phone with a shaky hand and called Kevin. His heart had been beating rapidly in his chest, and he had felt sick from worrying too much about the outcome of this phone call. Kevin had picked up after the third ring. "Joaquin?" Joaquin had inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. It had sent a shock through him to hear Kevin's voice again. And his mind screamed: "He still has your contact, he didn't delete it, that's a good sign!" "Yes, it's me. Hi Preppy." They had talked for over an hour, both a bit awkward and shy. Joaquin who usually wasn't the type for a lot of words had been surprised by the amount of words coming out of his mouth. He had talked and talked, telling Kevin everything. The whole truth this time, including all the bad stuff about helping FP with Jason's body, even about FP asking Joaquin to spy on Kevin's dad. And he had said sorry over and over again, not even daring to hope that Kevin would ever forgive him. But still, it had been a relief to say all of that out loud, to finally tell Kevin. Kevin had listened, and once Joaquin was finished, he had thanked him for being so honest. They had ended the call with Kevin promising to think about it and to call Joaquin back if he wanted to give them both another try. The next days had been hell for Joaquin. He had jumped anytime his phone made a sound, had checked excessively whether his phone was working when it hadn't made a noise for a few hours. But luckily on the third day, Kevin had called him back. Joaquin had been exhilarated but tried to stop himself from getting his hopes up too much. Maybe Kevin just called to tell him it was over for good. But that wasn't the case. Kevin said that he forgave Joaquin and that he wanted to give them a second chance. How about they meet up? And Joaquin had just blurted out: "Do you want to come camping with my friends and me?" There had been a short moment of silence, but then Kevin had agreed. And now it was really happening. The Serpents had packed their camping stuff and went to Fox Forest, where they always went camping in the summer, ever since they had been children. Joaquin had been nervous all day, not able to listen to a single word his friends said to him. Thoughts of Kevin running through his mind the whole time. How would Kevin react? Would it be weird to see him again after such a long time? Could they ever get back to being as close as they had been last fall? And how in hell was Joaquin supposed to greet Kevin? Hug him? Kiss him? Just say hi? What did you do in such a situation? He needn't have worried though, because once he saw Kevin, already waiting for them at the campsite, every coherent thought left Joaquin's mind anyway, and he just ran over to Kevin and pulled him into a tight hug. "I missed you so much, Preppy." Kevin hugged him back just as desperately, and for the first time in months, everything felt ok again. "I missed you too." It was so good to hear those words and to feel Kevin in his arms again. They clung to each other, neither wanting to let go first, until Sweet Pea bumped into them, mumbling something about needing help with the tents. Joaquin and Kevin moved apart reluctantly, both smiling. They helped the others prepare the campsite, making sure to place their tents right next to each other. Joaquin was very pleased to see that his friends tried to include Kevin in their little talks, giving him the feeling that he was welcome in their group. They spent the rest of the afternoon at the lake, swimming and lying in the sun, trying to get a tan. Kevin was by Joaquin's side the whole time. It was amazing how quickly they fell back into getting along really well. As if Joaquin had never been away. They still knew exactly what to say, to make the other laugh, still finished each other's sentences and still weren't able to keep from touching the other occasionally, a little brush of hands here, a light hug there. Joaquin was feeling lightheaded, and he guessed it wasn't just from the sun burning down on them. He was looking at Kevin, not able to stop the staring. Kevin hadn't changed since last fall, still every hair in place, still all preppy and still just as beautiful as Joaquin had remembered him. Kevin's eyes met his, and they both grinned knowingly. Joaquin was delighted to see that apparently, Kevin was staring at him just as much. In the evening, when the sun was slowly setting, their little group gathered around the campfire and ate together, sharing stories from their childhood adventures right here at this campsite. Kevin had some stories too because he used to go camping with his family also, though not in Fox Forest. Joaquin had edged closer to Kevin, inch by inch until their shoulders were brushing and he felt like he would die from joy when Kevin finally put a tentative arm around him. They sat like that for hours afterwards, Kevin's arm around Joaquin and Joaquin's head on Kevin's shoulder, listening to their friends' chatter, joining in on the conversation from time to time, but mostly lost in their own thoughts. Joaquin couldn't even remember when he had been this happy the last time. Probably when he and Kevin had still been boyfriends. He wondered what they were now. It was too soon to say he guessed, but he really hoped that they could get back together. But judging from the way Kevin held him, things were looking good. Once it got late, they decided to finally call it a night, getting ready for bed and everyone settled into their tents. Joaquin was lying in the semi-darkness, the light from the fire streaming in through the thin walls of the tent. He couldn't fall asleep, still too high from seeing Kevin again. He was so grateful for his friends to support him, for agreeing to invite Kevin along and for actually being nice to him today. And he was even more grateful for Kevin's willingness to give Joaquin a second chance. He was still deep in thought when a whisper carried to his hear: "Joaquin? Are you still awake?" Joaquin drew in a breath, his heart jumping up into his throat. Kevin! "Yes, I can't sleep." "Me neither. Um, can I come in?" "Of course, Preppy." Joaquin quickly opened the zipper of the tent, letting Kevin in. Kevin crawled into the tent, and they both lay down on Joaquin's mattress. It was strangely intimate to be here next to each other in this tiny space. Though they had spent the whole day within each other's reach and even in each other's arms at the campfire, this was somehow different. Maybe because they were alone now. At first, they just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, not saying a single word. But it was a comfortable silence they shared. Joaquin reached out his hand, searching for Kevin's and took it gently into his. Kevin shifted to his side, looking at him while biting his lip. It was something Joaquin always found so endearing, the lip biting. Kevin always did it, when he was about to say something daring. And Joaquin was right, it didn't take long for Kevin to speak up: "Thank you for inviting me. It's really nice to be here with you." Kevin's gaze shifted nervously from Joaquin's face to the mattress. He hesitated for a moment, but then added softly: "I just wanted to tell you that I never stopped thinking about you when you were away. I was so close to calling you several times. I missed you like crazy. Thank you so much for coming back to me." Joaquin had to blink several times, his mind not quite ready to take in what Kevin had just said. But his heart was already beating rapidly, understanding full well what his mind hadn't caught up to yet. Kevin was looking at him with big eyes, and Joaquin realized that he should probably say something in return. But he was overwhelmed, not knowing what to say, and so he just moved a bit closer and did the only thing that made sense right now: He kissed Kevin. And Kevin kissed him back without the slightest hesitation. They pulled apart after several minutes, both a bit breathless and grinning broadly. And Joaquin finally found his voice again: "Thank you for taking me back! And um Preppy...the last time you were the one to ask it, now it's my turn I think. So...do you want to be my boyfriend, again?" Now Joaquin was the one biting his lip, as he was waiting for Kevin's answer. Luckily he didn't have to wait for long. Kevin let out a quiet little laugh, before whispering: "Always."

This is my first fanfic. Usually, I just write down my headcanons in a few sentences and that’s it. So I am a bit nervous about posting something longer. I would really appreciate it if you let me know, whether you like it or if I should rather stick to my little headcanons. Thank you ❤