#like obviously she's not 15 anymore u know she is human she can age

[eldritch-nightmare]

I read a fic once where bloody painter cheated on his s/o with judge angel(s?) Bc in cannon I think they are together?? I'm not sure but thoughts?

Would he cheat on his s/o like that, and would he do it with her If he would cheat?

oh yeah in the og canon they were together but helen's creator revised his story to take place in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s so?? that would put him in his early 20s at least by the time he meets dina and she's like 13 years old when her story takes place(?) and 15 when she meets helen/how she's depicted in all the art with him(?) so. my knowledge on judge angels is very very limited i know little to nothing about her. but i don't think it's canon anymore. hopefully.

now, on the topic of cheating.

personally, i can't see him or any of the creepypastas / mh characters cheating on their s/o. like, as a whole, collectively, i can't see any of them cheating. maybe it's because of my utter distaste of cheating fics and stuff but i just. cannot picture it in my mind.

like yeah, they're all fucked up one way or another and most of them kill people just for the fun of it but cheating? nah. it wouldn't even cross their minds, to be honest. they're all loyal in their own ways, and some of them aren't exactly the best to be with but rest assured none of them would cheat.

now, would some of them, namely two, perchance threaten to cheat on their s/o? yeah, probably, but that's just because they're assholes. it's a threat, but not one they'd actually go through with. it's mostly just to keep their s/o in line if they have to.

uh tldr nah he wouldn't cheat.

[shardminds]

okay i know in the grand scheme of things it’s been about 5 minutes since i got into spn and about 4.5 seconds since i started following spn blogs on tumblr but i just want 2 share some stuff re: what i would have liked to happen in my ideal ending. spoilers below.

number 1, sam and eileen endgame. after losing her in 15x18 and trying so hard to hold it together, sam’s quite obviously devvo’d. man’s a mess but he can’t let himself fall apart. 15x19 happens and everyone chuck disintegrated faster than communion wafers comes back and the FIRST thing sam does? calls eileen. high tails it out of there. speed limits who? there’s a heartwarming moment. maybe an ‘i love you’ or maybe not but it’s touching and heart wrenching and everyone cries and it’s nice. there you go, sam winchester. not only did you help save the world, but you got a happy ending in the process. eileen moves into the mol bunker. don’t @ me. she’s also great with miracle. and, in the long run, kids.  

number 2, deancas. my whole thing is, if they didn’t want canon deancas ending, why have cas confess? like i get the empty deal and i understand ‘happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. it’s in just saying it’ but... if u didn’t want people to swarm on the possibility of deancas... why include it at all? especially for it to never be mentioned again. for cas, a man/angel/being of celestial intent that had spent like... 12(?) years at this point in sam and dean’s lives. you’re gonna tell me they just... let him sacrifice himself and then dip? ok. seems we have been watching different shows. or the same show from different perspectives. so, hear me out. dean says it back. maybe not in as many words or he pulls a hans solo ‘i know’. okay so they beat the shit out of The Literal Abrahamic God later to supercharge jack faster than shotgunning three monster energy mango locos ever could and leave chuck belly up in the mud like the invertebrate he proved himself to be and jack is Thee God now and dean just straight up asks. give that to me. give me the “please, jack.” and dean, so close to breaking, holding himself together with nothing but pure strength of will and residual adrenaline. give me jack’s reluctance, give me his admission of not wanting to mutate into the same megalomaniac chuck proved himself to be,using the winchesters as chess pieces in his own game. give me his humanity. the parts he inherited from kelly. give me his humanity and his grief and his loss and—castiel was his father, for fucks sake! he lost a father and a mother and he’s about to lose the only family he ever had. yes, he’ll be omnipresent—a perk of the job—but he’ll never be there in the way they want. so let him do this. there’s like a whole genesis parallel, you know all ‘the lord said let there be light, and there was light’ only not as on the nose as that. jack’s one selfish act before he himself, combined with amara, ascends. he does his whole speech. i’ll be in every drop of falling rain etc etc and then he dips. only, he’s gone and when dean turns around. cas is there. boom. 

there’s no kiss. no explicit ‘hello look at this confirmed gay angel and his human hunter ??sexual friend making out’ because that too much too fast. dean has spent the past 15 seasons trying to unfuck himself from the damage john winchester left behind (the nun hunt on his 17th birthday? lebanon? i will meet john winchester in the pit.) and as close as he is to finally just allowing himself to be himself, he’s not quite there yet. but the relief on his face. the—i’m gonna say it—love in his expression. cas’s confession clearly affected him, just look at 15x18. maybe dean doesn’t know what that means yet. maybe he does. but there’s a hug. an embrace. one of those that says ‘i don’t know why or how i like you, fruity little angel man, but i do and i’m not letting go’. it lasts a beat too long. maybe there’s tears. i’ll leave that up to jackles jacting joices.

number 3, michael sacrifices himself to save adam. OKAY SO THE WHOLE MICHAEL STORYLINE IN 15x19? BULLSHIT. especially with the adamichael scene in 15x08? where it is canonically confirmed that, after spending a real life decade (which is OVER ONE THOUSAND YEARS in hell time. 4 months = 40 years so 10 years or 120 months = 1200 years) trapped in the cage together, they became friends and shared control of the vessel. michael considered adam his guide on earth. michael. MICHAEL. M I C H A E L. seeing how spn painted him as one of, if not, THE most powerful and fearsome angel? man’s whipped. and then he loses adam when chuck has his thanos snap moment. imagine sharing a vessel with someone for twelve. hundred. years. and then being completely alone in a world you don’t know. how maddening for there to be only silence in your head. the fact that they then rammed this bs of him being jealous of lucifer for being ‘daddy’s favourite’ was exactly that. bullshit. no no no, my friends. michael was playing his own game; crossing the winchesters for chuck but actually, crossing chuck for his own gain. he learns of the winchesters plan to utilise the fact that jack is the power hungry equivalent of a shamwow and uses that to his own gain. i haven’t figured out the particulars but when chuck beats the shit out of michael, he kills the angel but leaves the vessel (think like jack at the end of s14). michael the winchesters think michael died a snivelling god fearing soldier. and then, when jack does his whole thing, up wakes adam. the winchesters take him in and explain what went down when he, you know. and adam lets them know that no, michaels not like that etc etc he did it for me etc he did it to save me. michael’s fall was imperative to the destruction of god. and, for that, he will always be remembered. adam’s not a hunter, but he stays at the bunker anyway. he has nowhere else to go. 

number 4, episode 15x20. what do you mean dean and sam both die? not in this universe i carry inside my head they don’t! this episode is just a bunch of scenes from throughout the years. you might think it boring but i think it’s great and this is my post so u can’t tell me what 2 do. dean opens up a bar for hunters a la 14x10 and has pictures on all the walls of all the fallen hunters and friends that have helped them throughout the years. you want a picture on the wall for a friend you lost? sure! just bring a photo and tack it on up there. out of sight, kept to the wall of the office, they keep pictures of the non-humans that helped. it’s private. a reminder. sam and eileen stop by a couple times a week if they can. jody and donna make the rounds with the girls too if work allows. or they come on their own. the girls are old enough to take care of themselves now. claire pops in when she can, always bringing a present for cas (despite him reprimanding her for doing so) and dean is always happy to see her. she doesn’t text enough. 

sam sets up the bunker as a base for hunters again, trying to get a system up and running like before where hunters can check in and get help and use the weapons and resources they have for cases. 

they don’t deal with heaven anymore. they haven’t seen jack since he disappeared but they also haven’t had any angel troubles either. maybe it’s because there are so few. castiel helps a lot as he still has his grace—although he’s still unable to teleport and he seems to be aging, trapped in some kind of space between. not angel and not human and definitely not nephilim. he’s powerful and powerless at the same time. he doesn’t complain about this, knowing what it means. it’s a kindness. 

rowena is also on side, mostly, although she has her own gain in mind always. they have the stray demon that pops up every now and again but she– uh... prefers to make an example of them using her own methods. sam has learned not to question it. she teases him incessantly, as usual. 

also, stay at home dad sam. eileen jumps back into hunting. they’ve had conversations—arguments—about it before. he doesn’t want to turn into his father, driven mad chasing mary’s ghost if something were to happen. she refuses to even entertain the thought of that. yelling “you are a lot of things, sam winchester. your father is not one of them.” and at the end of the day, there’s a mutual trust there and he knows she won’t put herself in unnecessary risk, and he 100% roped dean in to jumping on as backup if and when she needs it. the kid(s) are raised love and cherished and surrounded by family. sam also learns how to sign one handed with a baby on his hip. it’s adorable.

anyway we never have to find out about heaven because no one dies thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[gocatboygo]

1-50 for Sarsaparilla?

ohhh my god skfjskdf sarsaparilla has no development whatsoever this is gonna be a blast and a half

1) which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

she sided with the legion from the time she saw vulpes in nipton bc Romam Armor Look Cool, cured caesar of his tumor & everything, and then just before the battle of hoover dam, assassinated caesar and sided with yes-man. she realized about halfway through her work for caesar that siding with the legion was never going to pay off and decided to Fool Him TM and then take vegas for herself

2) preferred armor?

OOF probably like… leather armor sdkfjsdk i dont know. she wore the tribal raiding armor at the very beginning of the game. she doesnt wear the legion uniform but i imagine her w some Legion Accessories TM like a mark of caesar on her chest or something

3) melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

melee babey

4) highest skills? secondary skills? lowest skills?

her highest skills are melee, stealth, and medicine (she polishes that up real nice when she realizes caesar has cancer). secondary skills are explosives and lockpick. lowest skills would have to be barter and survival :/

5) SPECIAL stats?

im just guessing at this point bc i dont remember them skdfjkd but i would say ST:5, PE:6, EN:4, CH:4, IN:6, AG:9, LK:9

6) what are their perks?

black widow, cherchez la femme, friend of the night, cannibal, scrounger, ninja

7) favorite companions? least favorite companions?

literally no one will hang out w her bc she’s legion ksdfjsd. she takes boone as a companion at the very beginning of the game and then she has to kill him. her fave would probably be cass, or raul, who is the Only Mf who will talk to her

8) any romantic partners? how do these relationships begin and end? are they healthy?

she thinks vulpes is hot for 0.2 seconds but she also thinks that about violet, gloria van graff, and some securitrons so i wouldnt worry about it

9) gender / sexuality / ethnicity / species / etc.?

cis female / bi / asian / human ((i just realized all my couriers are cis even though im trans as hell sdkfjsdkfsdj yikes))

10) where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

she doesn’t remember anything from b4 the bullet but she’s from new reno. she left because it’s new reno.

11) when, why and how did they become a courier? how long did they remain a courier before benny shot them?

she needed work after she left home and delivering packages didn’t seem terrible. she did it for like 2 years max before she got shot

12) how did the bullet affect them?

took out most of her memories (including her name) and sort of scrambled her good sense. she doesn’t feel very much fear, restraint, or remorse anymore, which is why she’s been doing All This recently

13) how did they deal with benny?

seduced him, slept with him, killed him in his sleep, and took his roomba yes-man

14) what’s their reputation with the ncr / the legion?

the ncr - fucking horrible she can barely go on the strip sdjfskdsd. pile body upon body babey. / the legion - superb. sparkling. if she weren’t a woman they’d even stop insulting her

15) what do the people in freeside think of them? the followers, the kings, the garrets, the van graffs?

the followers aren’t a fan of her because of all that legion business. the kings like her because she takes care of rex. the garrets generally dislike her. the van graffs like her a lot because she let them kill cass & did all their quests

16) what’s their reputation with goodsprings / novac / primm? (i know primm reputation was cut from the game but like let’s pretend for a minute sdkfjd)

goodsprings: bad bc she sided with the powder gangers kdsfjs / novac: she did come fly with me so its lookin alright! / primm: very mixed bc she’s pro-powder ganger but she also got them a new sheriff (meyer) 

17) what’s their reputation with the khans / the brotherhood / the boomers / the powder gangers?

the khans: she’s a Legion Ambassador… a shining monument of their new allies… Excellent and yet they know fuckall about her / bos: well she did blow up that whole bunker. / boomers: i dont remember / powder gangers: as i mentioned before she sided with them at goodsprings and made meyer a sheriff so they like her a lot. boxcars is happy to see her

18) what do the people on the strip think of them? the omertas, the white gloves, the chairmen, ncr military police, mr. house? do the gamblers like them?

the omertas: she did cachino’s quest so it’s pretty good / white gloves: idolized / chairmen: hey that’s the fink that killed benny / ncrmp: BAD / mr house: well considering the fact that she killed him, not excellent 

19) what is their motive for taking vegas?

literally just ‘she wants to’. the whole point of this courier was that she’s a no rules run, she’s lost a lot after the bullet scrambled her brain and she’s literally just doing whatever she wants to do

20) do they have a theme song?

no :(

21) what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

she has black hair in the “blast back” style. pretty short, like 5′4″. no piercings or tattoos (but she probably gets a legion brand at some point w like the mars symbol or something). there’s of course a bullet scar on her head, and a few around her arms and torso.  

22) how old are they? do they know their birthday? if so, what’s their sign?

she’s in her early-mid twenties, very young. im not sure if she remembers her bday (probs not) but she’s a Sagittarius 

23) do they speak any languages other than english?

god no. she doesnt even try to learn latin jhjhkjgfkj she pronounces all of it wrong and caesar’s like please shut up,

24) can they read, write, do math, sing? did they ever receive an education?

she went to school in new reno so she can do all that. maybe not sing.

25) what were their parents like? are they still on good terms with their parents?

i honestly havent given it much thought. her parents were probably Just Okay TM. she doesn’t remember them.

26) what’s their d&d alignment? (bolded bc i really like that one ksdjfksd)

chaotic neutral, leaning into chaotic evil.

27) how’s their karma?

not great

28) how do they feel about killing people? do they try to avoid it?

like i said, the bullet messed w her remorse a lot, so it doesn’t particularly bother her anymore.

29) do they take chems? if yes, when and which ones?

yes, sometimes! usually mentats, buffout, med-x, or psycho.

30) do they gamble? where? is their luck good?

she likes to gamble. usually at the ultra-luxe. her luck is pretty good!

31) where do they usually sleep? do they have more than one home location? do they live with any other people?

she usually stays in the lucky 38, in her hotel room in novac, or in the tent Big C TM hooked her up with at the fort. if it comes to it she’ll sleep in the ncrcf. no one else really lives in her 38 save for the securitrons

32) what are their favorite weapons? where did they get these weapons?

her caesar’s fall collection legion-brand machete babeyyyy, one n only! she’ll also use a pistol (a light shining in darkness most of the time since u know she sides w joshua graham) or a police baton if that’s appropriate

33) do they flirt a lot? is it well-received?

yes she does and no it isnt! she licked vulpes. just. right on his visibly ugly face. one time she tried to climb yes-man

34) do they goof around a lot? do other people find it funny or do they just entertain themselves?

once again yes she does and no they do not! she’s doin it all for her, baby. chaotic neutral here we go

35) what do their companions think of them? are they close? have they done any companion quests?

the companions,, obviously dont think very well of her most of the time bc she’s legion. cass thinks she’s a Real Wild Card and respects her for that at first. raul doesn’t like her very much but he’ll still travel with her from time to time just to see what she Does TM.

36) why did you create them?

i wanted to do a no rules run! like i thought it would be cool to just. do the craziest things i could think of in fnv and do it all with one courier. and thus sarsaparilla was born

37) do they draw, paint, play any instruments?

hell no

38) how do they deal with injuries? do they use stimpaks, healing powder, med-x? does a companion help them? can they bear a lot of pain, or do they need to attend to injuries immediately? when they do have to see a doctor, do they have a preferred doctor, or do they just see anyone?

she uses all 3 depending on how bad the wound is. for minor wounds she uses healing powder because she has an abundance of it from the legion, but since she has fairly low endurance she often just has to use stimpaks & med-x. she’s not very tolerant to pain all of the time? but if she has a lot of adrenaline (which she comes by very easily) she can all but ignore it entirely. she doesnt have a preferred doctor

39) have they ever been irradiated? how did they deal with it? did it have lasting effects?

probably a few times but she just threw up and then took a bunch of rad-away and ended up fine. she’s never been damaged by radiation permanently 

40) in conversation, are they kind? gentle? sarcastic? rude? do they speak warmly and openly with people, or are they more guarded? do they talk a lot?

she’s somewhat talkative, she mostly says whatever pops into her head whenever it comes to mind so her talking is just. a big mess of Thoughts She Had. she likes making a lot of jokes that are mostly for her

41) do they like long journeys through the mojave, or do they prefer to travel more quickly? do they prefer using roads or travelling through the deep desert?

she likes to travel quickly. no time to waste! she’s almost always using the roads

42) name a random fact about your courier.

she thinks it’s really funny to blow vulpes’s cover whenever she sees him undercover on the strip & she almost gets killed every single time. oh holy shit it’s vulpes! vulpes inculta! spelled v-u-l-p– oh my god its the ncr mp quick vulpes take your dick out in this gift shop

43) do they watch movie holotapes? what are their favorites? least favorites?

yes but shes literally only seen blazing saddles, gladiator, and we bought a zoo

44) what do they do with the lucky 38? do they like being there? do they leave their companions there? if they’re a yes-man courier, do they open it back up as a casino?

she doesn’t leave companions there too often, like i said. she likes it pretty well bc of the robots and the hot water? but i think that she really prefers staying in hotels except for special occasions. she doesnt open it back up bc yes-man kills her sldkfjds great transition 

45) what do they do after hoover dam?

yes-man says fuck work and just absolutely murders her. hes like ok enough of this and finds a new human to do what he needs done skdfjksd

46) how do they die? how is their death received, by the mojave and by their companions?

yes-man fucking KILLS her ass! the mojave takes a great big breath of relief knowing they wont have to watch her shenanigans anymore skdjfds

47) what are their vices? are they an alcoholic, a thief, a hoarder?

oh boy literally all of them. she definitely steals a lot but thats literally just. a part of her “do whatever you want” complex that Is TM her greatest vice

48) can they cook, and if so, what do they cook? what are their favorite & least favorite foods?

she absolutely cannot. she likes pizza from the tops dskfjkds

49) did they kill caesar? vulpes inculta? what about prominent ncr figures, like kimball and colonel hsu?

yes she did kill caesar! her securitrons killed vulpes at hoover dam and she was power-tripping so hard she didn’t realize they’d already gotten to him. she probably didnt think about him again before she died. she didnt assassinate kimball herself but she definitely assisted in making the assassination go smoothly, and im sure her robots got to hsu sometime before she had yes-man throw oliver off the dam skdjfskd

50) what’s their happiest memory?

not to be fake deep but all this shit she does obviously causes more adrenaline than happiness. you could say that it’s when yes-man threw oliver off the dam, because that was her most exhilarating moment, or you could say that it was when she woke up in goodsprings, because it was the last time she was calm and being taken care of.

—

thank u so much if u read all this and thank you for sending me this ask. it took a long time but its a good exercise like i said skdfjsdf. send me more if these if yall have the heart, maybe not a whole 1-50 but like ! & please reblog my fnv courier questions post because i do think its nice, bye

[lyaress]

hi i read ur post about touka/kaneki as a ship ending unless the tragedy is taken to the extreme, and i was wondering if u don't mind answering why is that. i mean what do you think indicates touka/kaneki splitting up? i am just asking because in my mind kaneki will either die (like, i haven't re-read :re but didn't some doctor or something tell him that his health is deteriorating?) or tou//ken will sail... what do you think?

I believe Kaneki x Touka as a romantic pairing was never supposed to be viewed as a positive thing. The reasoning here is that I have some faith in Ishida’s writing capabilities and I don’t think he is dumb enough to write an abusive relationship and not realise that that’s what he has done. This gets very long so I’m putting it behind a read more.

Disclaimer: yes, I ship hidekane but not because I hate tou/ken. This post does not devolve into why hidekane > tou/ken like my posts normally do :P This posts only tries to establish why Touka and Kaneki are each others “bad ending.”

Touka

Since the very beginning, Touka is established as an attractive but troubled girl with anger management issues. She acts out and will ALWAYS resort to physical and verbal abuse to get her feelings of anger and frustration across. Touka is not an emotionally mature person. She is a mirror of Kaneki in this situation; Kaneki takes all the pain on himself, Touka inflicts all her pain on other people. Just as a foundation, this is not a good basis for a friendship let alone a romance. 

Due to circumstance and a mutual benefit from working together, they are able to enter a somewhat unstable friendship. Even in this fragile alliance between them, she is needlessly violent for no reason at all:

He is an abuse victim, don’t forget. It is especially bad for someone like Kaneki to be victim to this.

But by now, Touka recognises that Kaneki is a person who was much like her father, and a person who is at risk of leaving her behind, too.

This is the point where Touka’s abandonment issues really start to shine through. It is no coincidence that we have Touka’s background reveal right before Kaneki decides to leave ainteku. Touka’s father is established to be a personality very similar to original Kaneki’s, even their looks are almost identical. That section ends with Touka curled up on her bed thinking about her father and how everyone always leaves her. So this section tells us the following things:

Touka loved her father

Kaneki is very much like Touka’s father

Touka’s father and brother left her and she feels abandoned

Kaneki made the choice to abandon her, too

Touka suffers abandonment twice

Ishida knows this, and keeps coming back to this. He repeatedly has Touka suffering from abandonment in regards to Kaneki especially. And she reacts to abandonment violently, when she isn’t crying about it.

Now, from a shippers perspective, they probably think its cute that Touka needs Kaneki to function. They are so caught up in their little romantic fantasy that they forget this is a tragedy where Ishida is out to make Kaneki’s life as ironic and miserable as possible.They don’t acknowledge that Touka’s attachment issues and violent behaviour as a result of trauma are even unhealthy.

Now, let’s be a little bit productive about this. I’m going to link some sources that identify and explain Touka’s character and then I’m going to establish how her life led to her becoming an abuser. Please note that I do believe Touka has some deeper issues than simply abandonment, but because I’m not a psychologist I won’t try to diagnose her.

A general source about abandonment to establish some of what abandonment is and some of the symptoms that a person with abandonment issues might display.

Another source on abandonment

This source tells you about how abandonment rage is a thing. I don’t think it requires much contemplation to figure out how this relates back to Touka.

Here is list of possible traits that abusers can have , please be aware that not every trait will apply to any one person. In particular, I would like you to consider traits numbered 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 23, and 24. Honorable mentions are numbers 4, 10 and 25.

Here is another source on abuse

If anyone could provide me with a counter to this and explain how Touka is not actually abusive, that would be both wonderful and very impressive. In addition, we can acknowledge that the only relationships Touka is functional in involve an over-protective big sister who is the sole provider for that person. She even gets offended when her perceived dependent (Hinami) chooses to study with Kaneki instead of her. 

So, so far we have concluded that Touka’s abandonment issues led to her becoming an abusive adult, and that Kaneki is one of her victims. And that she she only knows how to be in one kind of relationship. I haven’t even covered how Touka uses physical intimacy as a last resort to manipulate Kaneki into not leaving her. 

Now, let’s identify what a “bad ending” for Touka would look like.

She stays in a relationship where she feels the need to desperately search for any way to make her father her lover stay with her.

She raises a child while emotionally explosive and insecure. Her “this is how I was raised/grew up/was trained mentality is used on her kid, who then becomes another clone of her basically what happened when she was raising Ayato. Her child then becomes like her, another abuser born of their environment.

She is never given room to emotionally recover from her childhood trauma. She never gets therapy. She never changes.

She keeps being enabled to use violence to convey her emotions.

Now, let’s identify what a good ending would look like:

Touka gets therapy and no longer has to rely on her father a lover to feel validated.

Touka is no longer explosive. She learns how to communicate with words,

Touka is happy with who she is, as she is. No longer uses her body as a tool.

Touka raises a child with the help of someone who is emotionally mature and was raised in a stable environment and who knows what good parenting looks like. Hint: this person isn’t Kaneki.

Touka gets more relationships like Yoriko in her life that are genuine and without strings attached.

Touka finds a partner who she could actually sit around and chat with in their old age about their similarities instead of someone who she would never consider even talking to in a perfect world.

Kaneki

Oh boy, here we go. I’m not going to even attempt to get into Kaneki’s psychology, But I will point to some important things.

We know that Kaneki is used to violence from the people he loved. Wouldn’t you agree that Ishida is smart enough to draw these parallels in Kaneki’s love life in the same way that he did for Touka regarding her father?

He paired up the woman who uses violence as her way of communication with the man who is used to violence from people he loves. This is a recipe for disaster.

For a while, Kaneki was happy with Hide. Kaneki was content as a human living his life with Hide and casually dating people. Here is what Kaneki says about his life with Hide at the beginning before he starts excluding Hide and feeling lonely.

and

So, at this point, Kaneki was happy. He had some issues regarding his family but he wasn’t aggressive. He was self-sacrificing but his issues could be fixed with some therapy over time. He had a place he belonged, he wasn’t lonely, and he was studying to progress his life.

It wasn’t until Kaneki started realising that he needed to lose contact with Hide because ghouls were dangerous, and that he no longer had a place he fully belonged to, that Kaneki started talking about how lonely he is. 

Even when Touka is doing everything she can to give Kaneki a home:

Kaneki is still lonely.

We know that Kaneki just wants a source of comfort:

It isn’t until Kaneki believes that Hide is dead that Touka is able to seduce him and become a source of comfort:

Hook, line and sinker, Kaneki how relies on her for comfort instead of clinging to a person he assumes is now dead:

And she still puts in all the effort to make sure Kaneki can’t forget her. 

She gives him something he can’t leave behind:

And Kaneki believes that he is happy with her. But, we know this isn’t a good ending:

As Kaneki says:

So, Ishida is telling us that Kaneki’s current state of “happiness,” born from the desire only to feel love, is what eventually caused the current most devastating event in all of Tokyo Ghoul.

So now Kaneki has to actually deal with his underlying problems:

For Kaneki, what he needs is:

Obviously, therapy

A place where he can feel at home and not still be loney

A cure to his selfish desire to feel any kind of love he can get

To not associate violence with love

To learn what love is

To find a lover that loves him for who he is and not because of their daddy abandonment issues

To develop emotional control

An interesting note is that Touka’s “happy ending” does not have room for her relationship with Kaneki continuing like this. So, it is impossible for them to fix all of their issues AND be happy together. It just doesn’t work in the end because the glue that holds them together is born of their own insecurities and issues, if you remove those issues they no longer have anything to keep them together other than a difficult history.

Yeah, I really feel sorry for that tou/ken child…

But to answer the question: Tou/ken sticking together is a part of a tragedy ending because it is not what either of those characters really needs, especially when you take away their emotional scars. They represent each other’s weaknesses too exactly for this to be anything other than perfect planning by Ishida. I am also interested in seeing what happens when Kaneki’s original support foundation (Hide) is brought back into the picture. What reason does he have to cling to Touka anymore?

I see four possible endings:

1. Touken stay together. Neither can recover from their histories. Neither get a chance to recover. They keep up the tragic cycles of their past and cling to each other for comfort without healing.

2. Touka recovers from her issues. She no longer needs Kaneki to feel secure in herself. She has no reason to retain interest in Kaneki and can find a more suitable partner for herself.

3. Kaneki is able to find comfort in someone else (probably Hide) like he did at the start. He no longer has to cling to Touka to avoid feeling lonely and he can soundly begin his path to recovery like he should have at the start of the series.

4. One or both die. The other has a chance to move on.

I can’t give you a definite answer of how I think it will go down because Ishida can do a lot in the remaining chapters.

TLDR:

Kaneki and Touka are almost tailor-made representations of each other’s weaknesses. To heal, they cannot continue their relationship. If Ishida is trying to make the most tragic and ironic ending possible, it would include Kaneki and Touka staying together.

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that? 

[2-d-ents]

1-100 >:)

DAMN WEL THANK U OMG this is going under a read more after some bc damn this is a lot i love u thank u

1. the meaning behind my url

2d! stuart pot! 2 dents in his wee head!

2. a picture of me

the face behind the mask of tons of pics of 2d and noodle

3. how many tattoos i have and what they are:

none :( my parents wont help me pay for college if i get any facial piercings or tattoos, so i’m being patient. i’ve got a jar full of coins that i’ll some day exchange for money and use that for tattoo funds!

4. last time i cried and why

yesterday night after telling my dad i can’t come up with the money in time to pay my medical bill lol

5. piercings i have

just my ears i’m so boring lol

6. favorite band

i really like the band SALES, they are very calming. but i also like gorillaz (obviously), lullatone, K.I.D, best coast, the smiths, and the velvet underground

7. biggest turn offs

shoes???? this sounds stupid and idk why i do this but i dislike wearing tennis shoes on the daily. on a lighter and more understandable note i dislike people who are full of themselves even in the slightest? confidence is like really important and is completely different that conceitedness.

8. top 5 (insert subject)

i’m doing gorillaz songs bc why not.

 faust 

slow country

out of body

el manana

on melancholy hill

9. tattoos i want

already answered!

10. biggest turn ons

LEGS. like nice legs. idk what kind they are (short, skinny, plumpy, long) they are just GOOD u know u look at them and ur like GOOD. they are just aesthetically pleasing sometimes i guess more of like nice for the eye than a turn on. i like choking. ngl.

11. age

i’m 19, 20 in february next year!

12. ideas for a perfect date

planning one now actually! in october i have my one year with my boyfriend so we’re going to rent a hotel in chicago and go around the city for shopping, museums, and plays!

13. life goal

already answered!

14. piercings i want

MY SEPTUM

15. relationship status

dating a really weird hippie kinda dude named jacob lol

16. favorite movie

already answered!

17. a fact about my life

i weirdly own a lot of things with stitch from lilo and stitch on them and gudetama. i told my aunt when i was like 5 that i liked stitch and for some reason in japan there is a lot of stitch stuff like notepads and water bottles. same with gudetama. she just won’t stop sending them. 

18. phobia

already answered!

19. middle name

maura. lol. my mom is mad all her kids have middle names bc japanese people don’t have them

20. height

5 foot 2. i’m sadly kinda short. 

21. are you a virgin?

nope 

22. what’s your shoe size?

women’s size 5!

23. what’s your sexual orientation?

already answered!

24. do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

occasionally drink beers with just my dad, not too much of a party drinker

25. someone you miss

my sorta grandma in japan who passed away recently. my real grandma died before i was born so this lady is my mom’s sister’s husband’s mom but she lived with my aunt so i saw her a lot. she like to make lots and lots of crafts and give them to me!

26. what’s one thing you regret?

spending so much money before i found out i had to pay a 400 dollar medical bill lol

27. first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive

already answered!

28. favorite ice cream?

already answered!

29. one insecurity

my thighs :(

30. what my last text message says

“then stop textin bihhh!!!” to my sister when she said “stop distracting me”

31. have you ever taken a picture naked?

no, but someone has taken a picture of me naked lol

32. have you ever pained your room?

not myself no :(

33. have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

yes!

34. have you ever slept naked?

only after sex so like, napping

35. have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

all the time omg all the time

36. have you ever had a crush?

duh? i am dating boy

37. have you ever been dumped?

like once or twice, i doubt three times.

38. have you ever stole money from a friend?

i think accidentally once? she left 20 in my car and i thought it was mine but i’m pretty sure thinking back on it it was hers but i hate her now so yeah that 20 got spent on a good trip to the cinema

39. have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

too many times this month to count

40. have you ever been in a fist fight?

thank god no. i would lose so fast

41. have you ever snuck out of your house?

surprisingly no? my parents never ask where i’m going and never really have all my life. i would walk to taco bell in middle school at like three in the morning at times and in the morning they would be like “oi how was the quesadilla” 

42. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

now what kind of person would i be if i went through 13 years of general schooling and didn’t have an unrequited love?

43. have you ever been arrested?

nope! never plan to be lol

44. have you ever made out with a stranger?

NOPE NEVER WANT TO

45. have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

this is a vague question that i feel is meant to be like shocking. yeah, i met up with me boyfriend at subway earlier does that answer the question

46. have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

like. every single day lol they don’t seem to care

47. have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

nah all my neighbors are antisocial

48. have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

in senior year i left school in the first hour to drive to canada and drink the day away with friends 

49. have you ever slept in the same back with a member of the same sex?

another question that’s meant to be shocking. i slept in my sisters bed last night

50. have you ever seen someone die?

no but does a cat count 

51. have you ever been on a plane?

too many times

52. have you ever kissed a picture?

i swear i have but i can’t recall of when or of what

53. have you ever slept until 3?

yeah, even 5

54. do you love someone or miss someone right now?

my boyfriend i suppose? i’m used to technically living together and sleeping in the same bed every night so yeah i miss him right now

55. have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

it’s a game called “find the dick in the sky”

56. have you ever made a snow angel?

when i was really young i only remember bc we have pictures

57. have you ever played dress up?

i was a tom boy when i was younger so no

58. have you ever cheated while playing a game

THIS MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY WHO HASNT

59. have you ever been lonely?

what kind of question is this of course i have felt a basic human emotion

60. have you ever fall asleep at school/work?

only at school never at work

61. have you ever been to a club?

no, i don’t really party

62. have you ever felt an earthquake?

yeah, living in japan makes you like never worry about them lol

63. have you ever touched a snake?

get that away from me its cute to look at but no way

64. have you ever run a read light?

only by accident

65. have you ever been suspended from school?

almost once but no

66. have you ever had detention?

saturday detention for dress code once

67. have you ever been in a car accident?

only when others are driving

68. have you ever hated the way you look?

all the time?

69. have you ever witnessed a crime?

i used to sit on the arm of my dad’s computer chair while he used to burn dvds we rented

70. have you ever pole danced?

ONCE there was one in my friends apartment and i gave it a whirl i love it

71. have you ever been lost?

my sister hates relying on technology so once it took us an hour and a half to get home from something that was only 20 minutes away

72. have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

yep! went to nevada and arizona once. 

73. have you ever felt like dying?

can we not lol but yeah

74. have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

what teenage girl doesn’t

75. have you ever sang karaoke?

its a big thing in japan so definitely!

76. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldnt?

duhhhhh one of those things was to never have sex

77. have you ever laughed until something came out of your nose?

yeah its uncomfortable dont do it

78. have you ever slept with someone 5 years older or younger?

no no no no ew

79. have you ever kissed in the rain?

yeah! not too special there are better places to kiss.

80. have you ever sang in the shower?

i used to a lot, never anymore

81. have you ever made out in a park?

no :(

82. have you ever dreamed you married someone?

ugh i hate those dreams so much

83. have you ever glued your hand to something?

yes :(

84. have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flagpole?

nope! that’s gross!

85. have you ever gone to school partially naked?

is this a crack at dress code lmao

86. have you ever been a cheerleader?

nope and im ok with it

87. have you ever sat on a rooftop?

when i was little my pal let us climb on her roof and was like “i do it all the time”!!1 and then someone called the cops on us

88. have you ever brush your teeth?

what

89. have you ever been too scared to watch a scary movie alone?

every single one? i am a wuss

90. have you ever played chicken?

YEAH THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD

91. have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

no and good because that means people are considerate about your phone being on you lol

92. have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

one time outside a mac demarco concert a pimp would actually not leave me alone and kept asking me to become one of his girls so i guess so? his name was papa schoolboy and he made me take pictures with him on my phone

93. have you ever broken a bone?

NO AND I NEVER WANT TO

94. have you ever been easily amused?

… all the time?

95. have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yes

96. have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

only my friends mom because she flashed me

97. have you ever cheated on at test?

in high school yes

98. have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

okay who doesnt wtf

99. have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

mac demarco

100. give us one thing about you no one knows

but if i give it someone knows

[endlessparty-blog1]

list of RP favourites and least favourites !  tagged by: stolen from @fortunasua​

first name: gabe

favorite fcs to play: i don’t use icons much anymore and when i did, i never had a favorite. i just pick up muses that i think i can help flesh out a little.

favorite ship you’ve ever had: ships with @filumessentia​ / @xanadere and @fortunasua​ , @kunori​ , @valkya​ , @helmsplit​ / @gamedrowned​ / @chickenwuss​ , and my bf @jihykims​. these blogs are all over the place but the muns are my favs to ship with in every fandom i’m in. i know if i wanted to write something romance i will have a blast with them, regardless of the characters we play.

favorite fandom you’ve been in: pokemon!! i keep going back. started up my protag calem again the other night. shameless plug. i also have much fun in the jojo fandom.

favorite song to give you muse: this is embarrassing but higurashi ost lol

least favorite fcs to play/play against: youtubers... i never rp with a yter blog but... i really dont see the appeal.

least favorite rp experience: forced nsfw but also. people like. not talking to me beforehand and then taking something from my about page and running with it. like for example a few years back i had a poke oc who was a part of the Lost Parents Club and someone made a blog for his mother and tried to rp with me. like im flattered u like my character that much but damn send me a message or SOMETHING do you know how weird it is to randomly get an ask or a stater from ur ocs dead mother. wtf. also that same oc got straight up stolen but they used him under a “crack” version i mean like i wasnt too offended but it wasn’t a great experience to see ur oc being misconstrued for the lols and u dont even know the person whos doing it

least favorite genre of writing: i like to write everything. i can tell you my favorite genere is adventure / romance / horror hybrid. i guess boring tropes like.. i dont know. i don’t really like highschool aus. private school / college is cool to me but highschool is so zzz....

least favorite fandom you’ve been in: my relationship with pokemon is complicated. also the ib fandom was wild but thats because when i joined it was mixed in with f/naf and like.... the f/naf rp.... i was only there for like 3 weeks but there are Stories to be Told...

least favorite thing people assume about your character:  LOL I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE ANSWERING THIS FOR SOME REASON i guess it bothers me that people say she didn’t get help when she went to therapy for about 3 weeks and quit. like obviously its not the type of help she needed but at the same time it’s not like it wasn't addressed idk 

other characters you’d like to play:  i play 707 and i also play saeran on LINE sometimes... if i were to pick up another m/ysmes muse it would probably be some version of the mc or i’d make an oc. 

muse preferences

females / males / canons / ocs / corrupted / good / live action / animated / human / supernatural / other species / hopeless romantic / averse to love / younger (15-25) / older (25+) / easy for you to relate to / hard for you to relate to.

plot ideas

accidentally married / affairs / age gaps / angst / apocalypse / arranged marriage / boarding school / college roommates / criminals / enemies to lovers / enemies with benefits / exes / fake relationship / fluff / forbidden relationship / friends with benefits / online relationships / pregnancy / prison / professor/student / road trips / rich kids / royalty / smut / supernatural / toxic relationships.

possible triggers in plots you’re okay with

abuse / bdsm / daddy kink / drinking / drugs / dub-con / gore / incest / kidnapping / murder / non-con / prostitution / stepcest / stockholm syndrome / torture.

italics are conditional, strikeout is a no. both means i’m okay with mentions of/allusions to, but i’d rather not actually rp the mentioned content.

[endeeringsys]

these will all be sorta ordered not in frequency/importance bc HA not feasible tbh thatd be impossible bc we’re all over the place but rather ordered in clusters of who are mentioned most/have a lot of presence and broken up into groups a lil but ofc there’s lots of intermingling and crossover of alters and their various relations to one another

/ these are kinda the main crew of ppl who kinda are like our core alters who are closest to hosts in the big picture of things - most of them have been around a pretty long time and contributed the most to our system + are just generally rly important to know

james/genevieve • (they/she/he)  • bi trans/nb  • 

ezra  • (they/she)  •  agender  • 

Eleanor  • (they/she) • agender • protector hypersexual and probably jsut a ghost but in the past they presented as if an angel and alien - has an icelandic accent?? and alter memories of how they died (in iceland, presumably) and is a wife to james & adoptive mom to gaylor. doesn’t front too often or chat very much but always feels like she’s looming around like our gay matriarch lmao

emery  • (they/them)  • agender aro ace • have been dormant since the start of the year - we thought they were our core or whatever but we eventually found elsie n did some speculation and so we think rly emery was just our main host for a large part of our late childhood thru early/mid teens but they....dont like the rest of us alters much. they didnt want us + got upset at the prospect of being an alter themself so theyre not around anymore. not technically a *ghost* host but they did literally think they were dead bc mentally illness + the confusion of years of james’ actual ghostly passive influence . so consider them ghost kin i guess

kaelin  • (he/they/”whatever”)  • nb.. boy? who knows if he even still is, not him tbh • autistic gay nerd w special interests of cosmetology (namely hairdressing), monster factory, and sweeney todd (we all like these things but he is RLY into them. also he loves cows.) he has a very close relationship w ezra & they grew up together n depended on each other a lot of our childhood

angeline  • (she/they)  • girl & likes other girls • age-slider & trauma holder

gaylor  • (she/her) • lesbian, GAY-lor, if you will (she named herself well) • 

elsie/chelsea  • (she*/they) • toddler/trauma holder, possibly our “core”/”original”?? • * she prns are ok but please dont refer to elsie w terms like “girl” and “daughter” bc they trigger her flashbacks when used in certain phrases so try to be neutral n say kid if u can

"soft boy"  • (they/she???)

/ (w the exception on penelope - all these dude lovin’ dudes always hang out or at least associate w each other + kaelin also)

Penelope  • (she/they) 17/18 yrs • lesbian furry like. straight up an anthro rainbow cat she’s p cute and is pals with bear (naturally)(#mlm wlw furry solidarity)

jude/bear  • (he/it) ~18 yrs • gay ace guy, sorta age regresses or smthin like that - he loves scene/emo/furry culture circa 2007-2010 from our childhood. he is also, a Huge Furry (fursona is obviously a bear)

caleb  • (he/him)

martin  •  (he/him)

holden  • (he/him)

daren  • (he/him)

rory  • (he/him)

/ these are all kind of intense goth-ish girls that associate w each other

Allison/winona/Aberdeen/anna/aladine  • 19 yrs

Tuesday  • (she/her) ~20  •

Josephine  • (she/they) ? • non-human kinda aloof sheep girl who had kinda a weird obsession-y/worship-y delusion thing with eleanor idk but she’s good now ; she loves dressing like Really Extra and idk what she qualifies as but she’s like humanoid and has ram horns and has a purple tinge to her pale skin and has freckles of varying purple shades, whatever she is isol also is

eden/chrys  • (she/they) early 20′s idk  •

/ mix of miscellaneous alters that dont come around as often nowadays/ the long dormant, fragments, introjects, etc* just kinda if u wanna know who else we have if they come up or front

ghost  • 

nora  • 

nick  • 

amber  • (she/her) 17/18 cis pan girl  heathers (mcnamara) fictive

alcide  • (he/him) 30′s-ish ?? bi/gay questioning dude True Blood fictive fragment and protector

johanna  • (she/her) fragment, sweeney todd fictive

Lillian/iris  • (she/they) everybody’s supportive older goth sister™ very dark aesthetic heavy makeup but she’s real kind +nurturing + has a stutter. kinda id's w emma from glee

Fran (he/they) used to grow up with kaelin and ezra as teens but it’s kind of like a complicated thing ???? hasn’t been around in forger since reappearing early this year a while so i forget how they all get along now

Candace/candee (any spelling)/dee  • (she/her) ~16 yrs protector/motherly figure literally so sweet and darling, she loves vintage 50′s clothing and that whole style and is such a dear, calls u a million pet names and will bake u a pie after taking care of ur traumatized ass

mimi  • (she/her) 17 yrs vocaloid (hatsune miku) fictive has like been around since we were about 10-11 but came back recently, she’s very bubbly and loves britney spears. will compliment you + want to be ur bff 

pearly  • (she/it) ??? yrs ; adult  protector non-human alter just sorta a big bipedal wolf were-creature but acts like a big puppy. basically gay’s sidekick (pearly is 3 times her size but they LOVE each other)

mar (Marceline/Marcie)  • (they/she) 19 yrs dormant since last year but they used to be a subsystem and thats where gaylor came from and thru used to be in a relationship w ezra who helped her thru a lot. then and today they both treat gaylor as a little sister

lisle  • (they/she)

isol (pronounced “ee”-”soul”) • they/he/she?? everyone including isol has like. no grasp on their gender tbh • age?? like joseph its hard to tell bc not human • they acted as host for a month or two in a rly rough span of time during school Hell + theyre also humanoid type of person and has ram horns and is very light skin with blue freckles

jonny/alec  • (he/him) 15/16 yrs trans guy was in mar’s subsystem, persecutor i think - he’d say a lot of really hurtful things to other alters and harass them about their gender/misgender them n just be really awful to especially the “ghost hosts/ghost gals” (james,ezra,eleanor; allison wasnt around yet)

L • not comfortable sharing much about him at all. abuser introject. will not come out around others or online so do not worry about him

marla  • 23 yrs

"accent alter"  • 

jim  • 

briar  • ur big nerdy older brother. tuesday scared him tf off so he’s only fronted once or twice but he’s a sweet dude, formed when we were 10/11-ish? and when we found him recently he was naturally like. rly confused rip

[fragiilexa]

1 - 10

identity ask………oh shit           ACCEPTING

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Hm, well I guess this is three questions omg but I’ll just go down the line. If they wanted to really understand me they’d have to read the Bible, which I know is saying a lot in one thing. But the reason I am the way I am is because of the things I’ve learned from that book and I would not be who I am without it. Of course I actually haven’t been able to read the whole thing yet but I take a lot of who I am from it & it’s just something that’s shaped me as a person? Oh but also I really don’t read books much anymore, but if I had to give another one it would be The Last Song? Maybe? ( The book is better than the movie, even tho I like the movie, the books better ) It just talks a lot about forgiveness & stuff and it was a lesson I really needed to learn at the time I read it & also am still learning. OH and also Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which is like a christian book, but it’s also had a huge impact on me, okay but onto watchin’.

Okay this is hard because there isn’t one full thing you could watch where the whole thing has impacted me. But there are a lot of movies I’ve learned from, ( and also since this doesn’t say specifically movies ) there are also a few speeches that I’ve really learned from ( and people would probably be able to understand me better if they watched them. But I can’t name those right now? But, I’d have to say, like, not as a whole, but Dr. Who, at least some specific episodes. Uh, Captain America?? The Help? There are more but I have a hard time naming movies/shows.

Okay and then music, fricken music, okay I could put so so so so many songs down, songs are like the soul of my life & help make me, me BUT I’m just going to give you ONE because if I didn’t this would go on forever and TWO it’s kind of my theme song but I Was Here, by the queen Beyonce. Is like, hands down my favorite *what makes me, me* song. I could name a lot more. I could make a 24 hour long playlist. But I won’t bc that would take forever. 

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Yes, There have been a few and most of them are not on anymore but, Kae I think I can solidly say we think very similarly on just, like, how to develop muses, how to work out characters and how REAL they’re supposed to be, you know? Characters can, and should have flaws and no one has tons of perfect relationships. Real life is messy & writing should reflect that & I think we are just hella synced with that message & feeling and she’s just lovely so yeah @spookylip is bae & we think alike ( obviously bc we took those selfies that matched wITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ) we are #one

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Girl Meets World: Riley Matthews.Glee: Tina Cohen - Chang.Marvel: Captain America, Steve Rogers.Hamilton: Eliza or Peggy SchyulerDisney: HeiHei ( no just kidding ) Moana, Princess Anna, Rapunzel,Harry Potter: Newt ScamanderStar Wars: FinnMy Little Pony: ( don’t u dare judge ) FlutterShyTwilight: Alice Cullen

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

Okay so I used to not like my name so much ‘cause it was really bland & there were a lot of other girls named rebecca when I was in school, then people started calling me rachel so it was like ‘my name is totally forgettable’ ( or i was i dunno ) but over the past few years I’ve started to love it, though someone ruINED the meaning of it for me *side eyes that kinky anon* but I don’t really care & I love my name now, just, never ever call me becky or I will murder u in ur sleep. :))))

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I was slightly confused reading this but I re-read it & now I get it. I think at the moment, or for the longest time I’ve been a human being, like, there are just no opportunities right now for me to be doing what others my age are, or even younger than me. Not only that but I have to work on a lot of anxieties of mine, but that being said I don’t think I’m doing nothing. What I’m doing is small, yeah, but I try to do the best I can with what I have & I have a lot of faith that things happen for a reason & right now I’m keeping things going in my family & trying to better myself, no matter how many downsides that has, sort of. & I do Identify myself by the things I do, mostly because in doing something you have the opportunity to help someone. I try to do the right things, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t but it’s a daily thing, y’know?

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Yah. You can see that with some of my answers but I am, though I know right now a lot of people assume that if you’re religious ( especially christian, on this site at least ) that it automatically means you’re this, this & this *insert any form of ism or phobic term* but that’s really not how it works. We’re all sinners & no matter what that still doesn’t change the way God feels about us ( no matter what, we, as humans think is sin, or sinful ) I could go on a lot about this topic, honestly it’s a big part of who I am. But personally, I love God, I have a personal relationship with him that I try to work on daily & grow with him daily, my God is all loving and I just wished more people my age, or at least people on here knew that?? I dunno, there’s just so much rhetoric surrounding Christianity & most of it is wrong & I just??? Mmmm I’m getting off topic but yes! I am! It’s like a huge part of what keeps me going, I love Jesus.

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

YES. Oh my Gosh yeah, okay well I’m white, lmao, but where I come from is still like, really important to me. It used to not be. I actually used to be kind of… not ashamed but embarrassed when my Mom did really dutch things. Like, ok backing up, My grandpa moved here from the Netherlands when he was in his early teens around the time that the holocaust happened, though I couldn’t give you the exact date because I’m hella forgetful but he came with his parents and he met my Grandma and u know the deal it goes down the line. But anyways I used to like, not like the things that came with being dutch, like, I just thought it was all stupid & silly, like clogs & doilies & stupid little things like my great grandma & grandpa always used to use forks & knives with everything because it was a custom where they came from & like, it’s all small things but over the years I’ve just learned to be really proud of where my family came from? My Grandpa went through a lot to come here, he saw a lot of things he never talked about and I didn’t know him well because I was young when he died but I just really love embracing my heritage there & stuff. 

Like I’m white yes, and I’m basically a ‘mystery white’ ‘cause my dad is a mutt  & my mom isn’t fully dutch either. I’m one of those 10% Irish 25% Hungarian 50% Dutch & 15% other type of whites, but??? I’m still proud of all of it?? Like I love learning about where I came from & who I am & I think everyone should be proud of all parts of their ethnicity. As Matthew Montgomery said: “ Love all your percentages. “  

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

shiT fam, this is getting so long & it’s gonna get longer, okay let me just do like… two, tha two tops…

Demi Lovato: Obviously, I mean… obviously She is one of the people I look up to most and I don’t know where I would be if I never had her & her music in my life. She’s taught me so much about strength and confidence and overcoming something when it looks like it will be impossible. She’s helpped me grow into someone who cares & wants to learn & help others and I just admire her so much for what she’s done, for herself, for others and for never giving up when she could have. Not to mention the ballads that have helped me through really hard times, or the speeches she’s given that remind me I’m strong & capable 

Taylor Swift: *que everyone groaning who’s reading* anYWAYS I can’t even honestly write down or explain how many times that Taylor and her music has helped me when I felt like I wanted to give up, or how many times I have cried listening to songs that should not have resonated with me but did. She’s helped me to realize not only that I am important but that no matter what, despite what people may do to me, or make me feel that I’m still important and worth working on. She’s also shown me what goofing off can do to make you feel better, how not giving a shit has helped me move on from past relationships and how being unapologetically ME is okay

In fact, I feel like Demi’s taught me those things too. But they’ve both done it in different ways, which I think shows how beautiful loving yourself can be. Because you don’t have to love yourself how another person loves themselves. You have to figure out your own, unique way to view yourself & believe in yourself & love yourself & I think that’s just really beautiful. Now, they both hate each other ( or at least severely dislike one another ) but I just feel like they’ve both done so much for me and I don’t think I could thank either of them enough for showing me strength, beauty, confidence and love in the way they have. It’s insane how much of an impact people can have but they have. I could go on but I woont I promise.

9. are you an artist?

YES I am, though my skill can be debated I love drawing when I’m in the mood & painting & jst everything that has to do with art. 

10. do you have a creed?

I don’t know if this means religious, or… otherwise… but I mean, technically I’m a baptist christian ( i think? not sure anymore ) but like, I am Christian, I feel like, sadly, the beliefs I hold are a bit left leaning & less erm, strict? When it comes to how I interpret the bible, where as a my family is different, I think? I don’t know, but I just try to follow the teachings of Jesus & his disciples. “ Love others as I have loved you - John 15:12 “ I do go by other teachings but I think that’s the top of my list. Jesus loves us unconditionally, he died for us, lived for us, and rose again so we didn’t have to burn up in hell for eternity. The least I can do is show everyone the same kind of unconditional love he’s showed me throughout my life & make sure people know that though we do sin & are inherently bad at heart, he still loves us despite our downfalls and doubt. I don’t know if that really answers this question but I had to look up creed & this is the best answer I came up with SO, thank u for sending this in and I love u