#like no nobody should be harassing anyone but genuinely who is being spoken to in this situation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shininguponthestars · 4 months ago

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hey! i mean this as respectfully as possible, so please don't take this as like. bashing you or even carrie. i want to invite a civil, open conversation. i just see a lot of people, including carrie themself, saying that the only reason people are upset with him is because he doesn't like phonesport, but from what i’ve seen the primary reason that people are upset with carrie isn't directly related to ship discourse at all. nobody (at least in my circle; i obviously can’t speak for the greater community) minds if he doesn't like a ship; plenty of people dislike common ships or tropes in the fanbase, including myself and those i interact with regularly, and we would never be so hypocritical as to take issue with someone else similarly disliking a pairing. we also don’t take issue with carrie’s public complaints regarding fandom shipping - again, everyone is entitled to express their opinions. really, the only way that ship discourse is involved is in that carrie is using ship discourse as a means to attack others, and it’s these personal attacks being made against people that are the primary issue which people actually have here. i don't even necessarily agree with op here. i’d just like to clear up that it is further than just, like, petty ship discourse.

as a general statement, i do not support harassment. i am not seeking to defend harassment that carrie has received, and i will openly admit that some people have chosen to engage with him in a way that is harassing and unnecessary. personally, i have actively discouraged anyone who dislikes him from interacting with carrie with regard to *any* of this. i do not support block evasion, especially not when used to circumvent a block to engage or when used to cyberstalk any given person. i will admit i myself am blocked by carrie; anything here i have seen because it has been sent in the circles i am a part of. i'm not sure where they initially got it either, so i do genuinely apologize if the sourcing is due to the harassment that any party involved has received.

however, people are upset because he has made unfounded accusations of grooming. they may not have used that exact language, but their intent was very clear and inexcusable: for example, they have called a person they have never spoken to a danger to children. the insinuation that carrie is making is, obviously, one of pedophilia and grooming, which is an incredibly severe accusation. some of his exact wording was "please do try to consider talking to someone who isn't making you desensitized to such horrible things," said directly to someone he believed was defending the person in question, and then, further, "im [...] concerned about the younger 1's safety [...] that other guy does not seem trustworthy at all [...] maybe he should. not be around 14yos". carrie has provided no proof that he (the person in question) is a danger to minors, but is intentionally utilizing a tone of concern in order to imply that he should not be around children. this is very obvious pedojacketing. furthermore, in order to locate his flimsy “evidence” of wrongdoing, carrie himself was (assumedly) block evading and heavily breaking boundaries.

a common tactic of harassment campaigns is pruning through anything available from a person to paint them as a deviant. this is not a situation in which anyone has come out against this person; this is carrie himself finding any wrongdoing he can from this person. harmful behavior requires a victim - in the absence of such, carrie is either deciding complete strangers to be victimized, publicly shaming people for actions with no victim at all, or inserting himself into the role of the victim even when he is not being personally engaged with whatsoever. this is public harassment. and while that does not negate the fact that he himself is a victim of harassing behavior, it does not give him a pass to do the same to others. furthermore, carrie has admitted that he himself has not read the materials he is criticizing. obviously, i would never ask them to; they are a minor, and the pieces in question are nsfw works - seeking them out and interacting with them would be inappropriate for him to do, particularly on a public forum where other minors might be encouraged to access those works. however, i think it is unfair to criticize something without actually having an awareness of the material, or being a person who engages in that space whatsoever.

to be fully transparent, the subject of these messages is criminalcriminalcriminal, which i assume anyone active in dsafblr circles would have been aware of at this point. this is not seeking to “prove” his innocence or even defend him against carrie’s claims - especially as many of their arguments are founded in accessing material marked intended for adult audiences, which i have no intention of discussing in detail on a post including minors. what i am intending to do is to point out the unreasonable, unfounded, and hypocritical nature of the accusations themselves, because i think another perspective is necessary here.

closing statement (and a tldr bc i know i can fucking Yap): i do not think orcatstra should be receiving harassment, nor do i think anyone else in this situation should either. while i do disagree with him lumping phonejack shippers in with proshippers, they are fully allowed to have their own opinion on these things! his opinions, regardless of my personal feelings on them, are certainly opinions that he is allowed to hold and state, and he should not be attacked in bad faith for doing so on his own account. HOWEVER, i think that he is also receiving genuine criticism for legitimate reasons, and these reasons are completely separate from the harassment carrie is receiving due to his dislike of phonejack ships. (the original post, for one, is lumping the two things together; while i dont agree with that element specifically, i believe it is good faith criticism.) additionally, carrie *has* gone after people; both over petty shipping discourse and with unfounded serious accusations.

i don’t claim to be an authority on the whole situation - especially because, since i’m blocked by one of the involved parties, i only have access to things brought directly to my attention. i’m also not upset with the rebloggers here, and definitely not trying to attack you personally or anything, i’m just trying to explain the situation in more detail. i feel like a distinction needs to be made between pointless drama and actual community issues, which is why i’m trying to separate them from one another.

Orcatstra.

Why do you feel the need to attack other people in this fandom over false information? It's clear that a good chunk of people in this fandom don't have a single clue of what they're talking about, this being a key example. Jack x dsaf 3 phones ISN'T slavery. Jack explicitly has told the phones that they can leave WHENEVER they want, yet they choose to stay. All three of them state that bear feels like home to them. I understand not liking legacy/neutral jack x the phones, because that's fucked up. But good route jack? he treats them like PEOPLE. He buys them a place to live at, he pays them, and he does more for the phones than anyone else has. They have the option to leave whenever they want. Jack doesn't overstep boundaries. He doesn't illegally stalk them and install cameras into their homes. Jack doesn't manipulate them into staying. You've also apparently never played any of the games yourself??? so why're you making assumptions about characters situations when you've never seen most the dialogue. And could you please stop posting NSFW content without tags? A lot of people don't want to see Jack kennedy with his guts everywhere, or suggestive content. Instead of telling people to block/mute you, simply just make a god damn tag about the content.

#oh my god this is long #sorry. the yapper. thats me!#also as i keep saying i dont. mean this as harassment or anything?#i hope this is taken in good faith. guh. i genuinely just want to like #explain why ppl wld be upset.#the stars call #also id be willing to discuss further why the allegations are. woof. but i really dont want to do that uninvited on a post thats uh #not necessarily about that #and again. safety of minors. etc

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a-froger-epic · 4 years ago

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About the Interview

Since I posted the interview with J - a woman who has described herself to me as one of Queen’s first “groupies” - there has naturally been a lot of discussion about the veracity of the interview, the source, and my own motivations in posting it. I fully expected that, and I will say once more that nobody (apart from a small handful of anonymous trolls) has behaved inappropriately in these discussions. I have not received any “hate” because of this. There is no “drama”. Nobody is wrong, or a party-pooper, or attacking me by expressing their doubts. I have seen some awful bile spat at people anonymously recently, and that kind of behaviour has got to stop.

Now, if you don't think I am genuine, there is obviously nothing I can do about that.

However, what I am hoping to do here is add as much transparency as I can in regard to how and why the interview happened, and also share my own full thoughts on it with you.

First things first. No unverified, anonymous source can be seen as definitive proof of anything, ever. That is my stance. I have myself been criticised for so much as suggesting that other anonymous sources tied in with Freddie’s history are not 100% proof of one thing or another. But for me, an anonymous source can never mean more than at best: this seems very likely, but we can’t be 100% certain.

Perhaps I was naive to think that what I considered to be enough of a disclaimer at the beginning of the interview, was enough. My intention was to express that while I, personally, believe J to be a) the person she says she is and b) genuine about what she remembers, that does not mean I believe everything she has told me is fact or happened in that exact way. I thought this was obvious. Perhaps I was unclear, and I apologise for that.

So let me be clear. There is nobody in the world who has perfect, factual recollections of what happened to them almost 50 years ago. Not even J herself claims for one moment that this is the case. She mentions several times that these are old memories from when she was very young, that she indulged in recreational drugs at the time, and that her views - of course - carry a personal bias. All this, I thought, would be enough for readers to know not to take everything they read at face value.

All of the above is why I kept my own thoughts and notes to a minimum within the interview, why I didn’t correct or point out obvious mistakes. I simply assumed that everybody would go away and read the interview against all the sources and information they already have, as I have done myself.

But maybe that was somewhat irresponsible of me, and I should have been the first person to dig into how J’s memories fit in (or don’t) with the information which is already out there, and how to put the two together. While I refrained from sharing all my thoughts alongside the interview (although I have fragmentally done so in response to other people since), others like @quirkysubject (here), @iwilltrytobereasonable (here), @emmaandorlando (here), @sarinataylor and @talkingismylifewrites (here) all had some very good things to say. All of them make excellent points. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SEND THEM NASTY MESSAGES. I frankly can’t believe I have to say this at all.

I found myself in a difficult position, because as the person who had spoken to J and asked her all these questions, I did not feel as though I could dissect her words as freely as anybody else. She has put a lot of trust in me, and I do not want her to think that I question her honesty and intentions. Because I don’t. If I hadn’t felt as sure as I reasonably can be that she is the person she says she is, and that her story is genuine from her perspective, if I had been in any doubt about that, I would not have made it public.

Here's the thing:

Even if you don't believe J knew the boys, her recollections of the time period alone are still valuable and incredibly interesting, giving us a glimpse of early 1970s London.

But I do believe J. Why?

Before I answer that, let me just say: I fully realise that of course the fact that it was my story J happened across, and me she decided to speak to because of it, makes me more inclined to want to believe her. However, other authors I'm friends with, as well as myself, have received messages from older people several times before. It does trigger nostalgia when a story is very strongly rooted in a time somebody has lived through. There are older people in the fandom. (I recently ran a poll and all age groups were represented even here on Tumblr.)

Now, on to the reasons why my communication with J has felt nothing but authentic to me.

1. She was never in any rush to get in touch with me or relate information to me. It took her a few days to email me after she first spoke to me in the comment section, where I begged her to please get in touch. She then sent me the same email five times, over two days, because she couldn’t quite work my email address out at first.

I ended up asking several questions more than once to get an answer because they were overlooked. The conversation went off on tangents, and we chatted about her weekend at her friend’s house (and I was presented with a beautiful snapshot of the beach), the memory box her daughter made for her, her work and other things. There were stretches of days at a time when J simply didn’t find the time to get back to me. And I may have badgered her with a few too many emails asking her to please remember to answer my questions when she has a moment. In short, it was the opposite of somebody rushing to share their story. I was doing all the rushing. (I realise that I am asking you to take my word for this, but this did not all happen in a vacuum. @plainxte, @quirkysubject, @fingersfallingupwards, @onegoldenglance and @freddieofhearts witnessed the process first-hand, as well as my excitement and some of J’s original emails.)

2. J was very trusting. I know her full name, where she lives and her place of work. She sent me current pictures of herself and her husband unprompted. At no point did she ask me not to reveal her identity, that is a call I made because I did not want to expose her to any possible harassment.

3. There were a few things in her account of what she remembered which were so obviously at odds with what we know to be true - it’s well-known John is a bit taller than Roger, for example, but J remembered him shorter, Queen went to Sydney in ‘85, J remember it as ‘84 - that I couldn’t help but think, if I was somebody who was trying to convince others of a made up story, the first thing I would surely do is make absolutely certain to get the facts which are easily findable right. Instead, J always lead with: this was all a long time ago, I’m sorry, I’m doing my best trying to remember.

I realise that a very clever hoaxer could do all this and convince me. But here the question has to be, to what end? This would be quite an act for someone to arrange, to make it seem quite so naturalistic. Nobody would go through the trouble of doing that for nothing. There’s no monetary gain. Scandal? There is nothing scandalous in the interview. Attention? J is barely an active member of the fandom. She has managed to create a Tumblr though: @since72. There is one post currently.

It also took her a couple of days to get back to me after I posted the interview.

In brief, I have no logical explanation for why somebody would go to these lengths and fool me so cleverly, with such attention to detail, when there seems to be nothing in it for them. Why then did J bother to talk to me at all? What was her motivation? Well, after I thanked her profusely for doing this, she simply said that she felt she owed me as reading my story had brought back so many memories for her.

All of the above is why I strongly feel that J is very much real and genuine. But I completely understand that it all hinges on the fact that in order to believe everything I say is true, you would have to trust me. And I know that as I am just another person on the internet, you have no reason to do that. But I’ll get to me in a moment.

Here are a few more doubts which I have seen come up with regard to J.

Why would she be reading fanfiction about people she knew? That’s weird.

To be perfectly honest, exactly that was my first reaction, too. But then I thought about it and talked to friends about it.

Firstly, J says herself that she was never a close friend. I agree that it would be far weirder to read fanfiction about somebody you knew very well. Having said that, John Deacon’s son has been known to read Queen fanfic about his father (and read it out on his YouTube channel). But I think given that it’s been half a century and J has been watching Queen in the public eye ever since, it isn’t really all that strange to read about fictional versions of them.

Secondly, a friend of mine noticed that it seems as though older people in the fandom find J overall more credible than younger people. I’m 35, and it is true that the older we get, the more we look for the things which remind us of our younger years. There is an urge to remember and re-live. You can trust me on this, or you can ask anyone over the age of 30 or 40. Nostalgia is real, and it only comes to you with age. Why would somebody who had briefly brushed shoulders with people who later became celebrities not take an interest in them later? It seems natural that she would. As J says, she never stopped being a fan of Queen’s music and came across fanfic when she looked up Adam Lambert. Is it really so strange that she would find fanfic about them entertaining? Having given it all this thought, I really don’t think so.

It’s unrealistic that she was so young.

This is something I have to disagree with. Times were different. Pete Townshend entered Ealing Art School at age 16, according to Wikipedia. My mother (currently 62) moved 600km away from home at the age of 15 to study piano at music college. I myself moved out from home at 17 (no tragic reasons whatsoever), but that’s beside the point. I have seen it framed in a way where it was said that “It isn’t realistic that a 16-year-old was hanging out with Queen who were all in their 20s”. I agree, it would be a little strange if the story was that one 16-year-old girl was hanging out with Queen by herself as their good buddy. But that is not the story. (Even though it is well-known that during the 60s and 70s, young teenaged groupies did in fact hang out with rock groups very frequently. Of course, J was not that kind of groupie.) She was simply part of a large circle of friends, by her own admission not a close friend of the band. Personally, I struggle to see how this is unrealistic in any way.

It seems super suspicious that she lost her photos in a flood.

Yes, it does. I agree. J realises that, too.

Like @quirkysubject said in her post, I don’t blame anyone who is too sceptical at this point. But there actually was a pretty bad flood in Australia in 1988.

There are mistakes in J’s story!

Yes, there are! Let me point them out to you. I already mentioned John’s height and Queen being in Australia in ‘85, not ‘84. I also think that her perception that Freddie was taller than Roger in ‘72, but no longer in the 80s, had everything to do with platform shoes. I have to say that I did ask J some questions which I knew were things which are almost impossible to remember about people you weren’t particularly close to. I knew there was no way she would be able to accurately recall their heights, but I still wanted to know what the impression was which she had come away with. I don’t for one moment think she could possibly know why and if Freddie’s nickname was really ‘Freddie Baby’ at EAS well before she went there. But I still wanted to hear what she thought of that. This is why I stated specifically that this entire interview consists of one woman’s subjective opinions and memories. That alone means you can absolutely not take any of it as definitive fact. That just isn’t how memory works.

Kensington Market and the stall:

J’s answers on this one thoroughly confused me. Not only did she say that while she saw Freddie at the market a lot, Roger was hardly ever there, but there was also some Indian man working at the stall during the week (who I don’t think could have been Freddie’s father). She saw Freddie at multiple stalls, a girl named Jill also worked at the stall… and J was under the impression that Roger and Freddie hadn’t even started the stall. None of this made a whole lot of sense to me, until somebody pointed out that the original stall owned by Roger and Freddie must have closed in the second half of 1971. (Sources: Queen in Cornwall & Queen: As it Began)

It is confirmed (same sources as above) that Freddie worked at the market until as late as 1974. I think it is therefore entirely possible that J would have seen him working at Alan’s stall, or helping out at other stalls, and the likelihood that Roger would have come to hang out with him on a weekend is fairly high, in my opinion. Later, reading about Freddie and Roger running a stall, J would have had no reason to think that this wasn’t the same stall she had seen them at. And yes, this is of course only a theory.

The gay pride march:

@rushingheadlong, who has recently done a lot of fantastic research about Tim, confirms that there’s no chance (as far as we know) that Tim could have been at the march. Did any of them really go? Is J misremembering entirely? Could it be that one of them or two of them went, and looking back, J remembers it as all of them (minus John, however) because she was used to mostly seeing them all together? Does she remember them from another protest march and got it mixed up with the gay rights march? I can’t say. The march and who exactly went is a big question mark. Even J herself is only “pretty sure” that they were all there, and I have to say, I can’t tell you who was where exactly when I think back to when I was 16. Certainly not when there was a big group of people around. And that was only 20 years ago for me.

Lastly, I’m going to try and use the guide our awesome local historian @emmaandorlando provided on how to analyse new sources. Of course, I’m not a historian (and I’m also partly the source by being the interviewer, so I can perhaps only do this impertectly), but let’s give it a go.

1. Who wrote this document?

‘Written historical records were created by individuals in a specific historical setting for a particular purpose. Until you know who created the document you have read, you cannot know why it was created or what meanings its author intended to impart by creating it’.

In this case, the answer is two-fold because essentially I wrote the interview, in as far as that I asked the questions, I gave it shape and presented it in the form in which it came, but the answers are J’s. I completely understand that this is already a big stumbling block for many, because not only am I presenting her as an anonymous source, but many of you don’t know anything about me. If you follow me on Tumblr, you will know that I have shared more with the internet than is probably wise. But still, I am somebody you know little about, presenting to you a person you know even less about. Whether you trust me or not is entirely down to your own judgement and instinct, and that will be different for everybody.

(I’ve seen it said that I’m plugging my own work through this interview. If that was my plan, I’m afraid it’s failed miserably. I looked, and DoA has gained a whopping 2 or 3 kudos.)

2. Who is the intended audience?

‘The relationship between author and audience is one of the most basic elements of communication and one that will tell you much about the purpose of the document. Think of the difference between the audience for a novel and that for a diary, or for a law and for a secret treaty. Knowing the audience allows you to begin to ask important questions, such as; “Should I believe what I am being told?”’

The intended audience is the Queen fandom on Tumblr and AO3. I have no interest in sharing this anywhere else because I’m not familiar with the other fan communities (Facebook? Instagram?) and wouldn’t know how to go about it. For J, the intended audience was mostly me, an author she likes who was very interested in her memories.

3. Why was this document written?

‘Everything is written for a reason. Understanding the purpose of a historical document is critical to analysing the strategies that the author employs within it. A document intended to convince will employ logic; a document intended to entertain will employ fancy; a document attempting to motivate will employ emotional appeals. In order to find these strategies, you must know what purpose the document was intended to serve.’

I got really, really excited. That is the reason. When J got in touch with me, I had a decision to make. I could ask her all the questions I wanted privately and share her answers only with my "inner circle” of fandom friends, or I could share everything with the fandom spaces where I’ve been very active in the last two years. I wanted to share the excitement and decided to do the latter.

I also wanted to present the interview in a way where it would be an engaging, well-structured read and not simply all of her emails to me dumped here with a quick ‘there you go’. So I tried to wrap it in a beautiful “package”, which is why I asked her for her art, for example.

4. What type of document is this?

‘The form of a document is vital to its purpose. The form or genre in which a document appears is always carefully chosen. Genre contains its own conventions, which fulfil the expectations of author and audience.’

An interview, written by somebody who has never interviewed anyone before.

5. Can I believe this document?

‘To be successful, a document designed to persuade, to recount events, or to motivate people to action must be believable to its audience. For the critical historical reader, it is that very believability that must be examined. Every author has a point of view, and exposing the assumptions of the document is an essential task for the reader.

You must treat all claims sceptically (even while admiring audacity, rhetorical tricks, and clever comparisons). One question you certainly want to ask is, “is this a likely story?” Testing the credibility of a document means looking at it from the other side.’

This is for all of you to decide for yourselves, and that was always the case. Far be it from me to be upset with anyone who straight up doesn’t believe a word I say, doesn’t believe J is real or any other scepticism. I’ll say it again, DO NOT harass anyone for expressing their opinions on this! It is NOT WRONG to discuss a new source! It’s wonderful that people are doing it!

And so, we come to that last question: Is this a likely story?

Personally, I can firmly answer that with: Yes. In my personal opinion, it is. I find J’s story very likely and there is close to nothing that makes me question that these are indeed her real memories. But given the nature of human memory, they are just as imperfect as anybody else’s and do not, and should not, supersede any factual, verified information we already have.

With that, I hope to have provided a bit more clarity and transparency, and leave you - as before - to make up your own minds.

#the interview #my thoughts #others have had their say so here is mine #in detail #long post

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rechoired · 4 years ago

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A problem with the Tales Of Arcadia community

First and foremost, I’d like to ask anyone taking the time to read this to please read the post all the way through before commenting on the matter. There is a lot of dirty laundry to unpack here, and some points will be building off previous ones.

I’ll get right to the point. Most everybody in the Tales of Arcadia fandom will have heard of the blog imthegingerninja / ginger-le-gay. She is one of the most well-known ToA-centric blogs, after all. (If you’re wanting to avoid her on Twitter as well, her account is Margaret Bell, or @The_Book_Bell.)

This is your PSA, TOA fandom: Ginger is a toxic, manipulative person.

This is not a claim I like to make lightly, but it’s long overdue that this issue is properly brought up within the fandom.

I’ve seen so many people wonder why the Tales of Arcadia fandom is so small. Well, I and many others very strongly believe that Ginger is one of the main reasons for that, if not the main one. To make matters easier, I’ve tried to break this down into some main points. So let’s take a look at how Ginger falls under this category.

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT look at this post as an excuse to harass Ginger or any other blog mentioned here. This sort of behavior is NOT acceptable. The point of this post is to educate those who may not know the extent of her harrowing behavior, nothing more.

1. Dishonesty and Death Threats

[EDIT: Shortly after this post went up, she started blatantly lying about me to try to cover for herself. You can see those lies being easily disproven here]

Ginger has been kicked from at least three Tales of Arcadia servers, all for similar reasons of violence. While I cannot provide screenshots as I am no longer part of the servers they were in, there are multiple witnesses that can verify the disgusting behavior she engaged in. The one I saw specifically was her saying that certain members of the fandom should be gathered up and hunted for sport, among other gross things. (Elaboration of why can be found in point 3, though it still doesn’t excuse this kind of talk)

Here is some points made by another blog that also sums up similar issues with Ginger, though:

While there were multiple instances of her inciting violence towards others, this is unfortunately one topic I cannot provide specific screenshots for at this time. But I will add them in as I can find them. That being said, I want to move to the dishonesty, something I do have a screenshot for.

While you could argue that people sometimes notice the similar things, this is far too close together to be considered an “original find”. The reblog button is there for a reason, but she instead decides to steal the OP’s premise and present it as her own original thought.

There have been a couple other blogs that have confirmed that their theories and analysis posts were often stolen and presented as Ginger’s own as well, to the point where they stopped bothering even making such posts, as the above blog points out. (Out of respect for their privacy, I will not be naming these blogs. Say what you will about that possibly weakening my point, but if she’s willing to so blatantly steal from that person shown above, it shouldn’t surprise you that she’s so willing to do it to others.)

Theory-making and analysis posts aren’t as solidly “original content” as a piece of art or fanfiction, sure, but it’s still common fandom courtesy to give credit where it’s due. Ginger has intentionally avoided extending that courtesy far too many times.

2. Hypocrisy

Most of this is going to be about past Merlin vs. Morgana drama, though there are also words to be said for the incredibly shaky relationships she forms with “friends”.

But first let’s talk about those wizards.

This is a topic I’ve tried to approach with Ginger before, but she borderline refused to acknowledge any of the points I was trying to make, and when she did, I don’t know if I just wasn’t being clear or what, but it honestly looked as though she was purposefully trying to misunderstand what I was saying in her bizarre responses. (To be fair, I was sending messages out of anger because she vagueposted about a blog I admired, calling them a “disgusting creep” because of them simply saying they’d hoped Jim and Merlin would be able to actually bond at some point... Not really a justifiable reaction to such a harmless thought, in my opinion. But my point is, I recognize that the circumstances may have clouded my ability to vocalize my thoughts clearly.)

That aside, we should first acknowledge this post Ginger made to save face after having gotten some backlash about hate-train related things (Side note: I couldn’t find the original post, so this is a screenshot I got from someone else. I did not add the writing. The text underneath it should still be slightly readable, I hope.):

Taken at face value, this is a very reasonable post. I think everybody would and should be able to agree on it. Hate-meme him for fun, sure, but don’t actually harass or insult others over a fictional character. Simple, right?

Apparently not, because Ginger’s done loads of that to others. Probably why the “LOL” was added in, I bet.

This post confused me. First of all, exploring dark topics (”angst”, as you put it) has never been a rare occurrence, every fandom has that content, most in heavy abundance. I’ve noticed no staggering difference in volume of this fandom compared to others I’ve been in. People enjoy angst not because they think the character “deserves to be in pain”, they enjoy a fictional blow to their own emotions. There’s lots of different reasons people like angst, but it’s barely ever been out of a genuine hate for whatever character’s the focus, from all the things I’ve seen. Your own friends have indulged in Jim angst and body horror posts before, does that mean you think they’re awful people? I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain something like this.

Also, way to basically admit you think all Merlin stans get off on child torture. So much for “If you like Merlin as a character, you’re valid”, am I right? God, what a mess of a post. (It’s been very recently deleted, which makes me wonder if she got more backlash on it, but just... wow.)

Let’s look at another one.

Again. Vagueposting about someone specific, I’d wager, since most of the people I’ve seen comment on this topic either think both characters are morally gray, or hate both.

But of course, when it comes to Morgana, suddenly excusing bad behavior can be justified. Ginger can call someone a disgusting creep because they want a familial bond between Jim and Merlin, that’s just wrong, but pushing the Mom-gana narrative with the genocidal abuser and Toby is completely fine, folks.

(Note: I would like to point out that I really don’t care about what theories and hopes people have for Morgana. You should be allowed to love that character in any way you want, same as I would say for Merlin. My issue with these examples is the completely brazen hypocrisy in which these two characters are treated. You’re obviously allowed to love Morgana without consequence, but the same should be said for any character of the show, and yet it’s not.)

The most obvious instance of this double-standard is well observable here, I believe:

... I think this mostly speaks for itself. Sorry, but this is very blatantly trying to excuse Morgana’s actions, here.

Oh hey, remember that post about Ginger saying that liking Merlin must mean you want to see Jim in horrible pain?

Say anything similar about her with Morgana, and suddenly she takes issue with this line of reasoning!

I’m sorry, but if you can’t take this sort of thing, then you shouldn’t be dishing it out. One of your own friends is still getting hate over the simple fact of liking Merlin, and all this mentality is exactly why.

Let’s look at one more.

Fun fact! Morgana horrifically abused somebody for centuries, tried to kill multiple kids, took horrible advantage of Claire (probably traumatized her), and canonically wanted to genocide humanity, not to mention all the OTHER murders she's committed, both directly and indirectly.

But somehow pointing any of this out “doesn’t count”. This is why the fandom keeps saying more and more things like this:

And this:

I could be going through her constant hating on Merlin and people who like Merlin for days straight, but I hope you all get the idea by now.

Again, I would like to just reiterate: You can like whatever character you want for whatever reason you want. The problem with this case is the hypocrisy and mistreatment of others, not your taste in characters.

Now interestingly enough, she’s lately been singing a different tune about the guy, switching from the “I hate Merlin I hope he dies!!!” mentality to “Oh he should get a redemption arc too :)” sort of thing.

I’m highly convinced that the only reasons for this “change of heart” is because of the constant backlash she was getting for the obnoxious amount of hate posts being thrown around all the time, but also because Aaron Waltke keeps tabs on the fandom more lately, and has spoken himself about Merlin not being a villain.

I could go on about this point forever, but I think I’ll just leave the Merlin topic with this post going through the hypocrisy of the Merlin Hate Train. In fact, here’s two just for fun.

Now onto more real-world focused areas of hypocrisy. One such instance can be found in Ginger’s Janus Disorder server.

Just take a look at this post.

While the offender in this case isn’t Ginger specifically, it still takes place in her server, and she made no moves to enforce her “No discourse” rule. All over... what? A random kudos on a fanfiction that’s not even about anything controversial since all characters involved are adults? I immensely don’t understand the point of why this ever had to be an issue, or why nobody spoke up about how ridiculous this is.

I’d also like to point out a certain user called firecat17. For some quick context, waaay back in the Kung Fu Panda fandom (around 2018), this user had been harassing people and saying incredibly vile things, a person of which Ginger had a bit of a feud, but firecat’s anon threats had gotten to the point where Ginger ended up having to block their IP.

Obviously, the user firecat was the one in the wrong, here. (Also, the irony in this comment is through the roof...)

Interesting point there, Ginger. Sure would be nice if you practiced what you preached.

Why am I bringing this random old drama up, you may ask? Well, it just strikes me as strange that someone who was so vile to Ginger is suddenly on her okay-list again, sending her asks and getting casual responses as if nothing ever happened.

To be fair, there is the possibility that they worked out their differences in private. But given the severity of the kinds of words being exchanged, I would still find that rather suspicious.

When someone who’s said things so vile can be so easily forgiven, yet something as harmless as leaving a kudos on some random fanfiction is considered grounds for harassment, it’s obvious there’s no stability or room for trust among this group of people. Unsurprising when there’s been several instances of this “friend group” turning on each other.

If you think you’re somehow different, that your “friendship” with Ginger or the others is more valued than that, then I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it’s likely not true. She’d throw you under the bus at the hint of you doing something she deems problematic, as it’s happened to multiple blogs before you.

3. Demonization of and insensitivity towards s*xual abuse victims

(This topic is one that’s hard for me to talk about, being a victim of CSA myself, so I’ve gathered some different sources to do most of the main talking for me. I tried to form more commentary on this myself, but I get too emotionally charged in my responses, and I don’t want that to cloud any reader’s perception of what I’m trying to communicate here, so I’ll try to keep most of my comments brief on this one.)

One thing recently brought to my attention about Ginger and her squad that especially bothers me is their rashness in labeling people p*dophiles and p*do apologists. If these claims were true, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

But these people are accusing others of these horrible things and threatening them on the sole basis of fictional content.

Now before you fly off the handle at me, let me be very clear: I absolutely understand that there are gross people out there who use the “It’s all just fiction” argument to hide their actual, pr*datory behaviors. (We’ve all probably seen at least one or two neckbeard memes of that caliber)

But like it or not, exploring traumatic themes through a fictional lens is something that has been studied and proven to be a genuine coping mechanism for some. It’s not something that works for me, but I knew a few people from past therapy groups that it worked surprisingly well for. Bringing a trauma into a controlled environment and processing it through fictional means can and does help some victims deal with what they went through.

It’s important to understand that not everyone processes their experience in the same neat, little boxes you have laid out as the only “acceptable” ways of coping. Trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy are commonly used by victims, and it does help some people, whether you like it or not.

I’m already dragging this on too much, so here are some sources for better-worded information on the topic (Warning: Most of these deal with highly sensitive themes such as gun violence and s*xual abuse.)

Source 1 - Source 2 - Source 3 - Source 4 - Source 5 (pages 61 onward, specifically) - Source 6 - Source 7 - Source 8 - Source 9 - Source 10 (and believe me, if those all don’t satisfy you, I can easily supply more.)

And this quote from source 9 I think sums it up best:

“Fiction works differently. My imagination gives me a framework to process the grief and terror and the consequences, even when I myself have not found any resolution. It allows me to enter my own traumatic experiences sideways and linger inside them, if I know I can give them to characters who might be lucky enough to find the antidote: love, connection, community, family. In other words, I can enter — and exit — the trauma loop through stories that are not exactly the same as mine.

This goes for the reader also. Recent studies periodically assure us that stories — literary fiction, hardcover books, even the simple act of reading — promote empathy. We rarely have identical experiences, so fiction is how we practice linking our similar or parallel realities so we can feel them. This seems particularly useful in our current society, where we are all so separated, and are working so hard to block the violence that keeps happening to us from our minds.

Fiction connects us, and it can also contribute to our healing. When we see ourselves in worlds we don’t live in, like The Handmaid’s Tale or The Color Purple, sometimes, that very different violence helps us finally process our own. Because as much as our memoirs and testimonies are brave and validating, fiction does not just mirror our truths so they are safe to experience; it also helps us endure the aftermath. Because long after the immediate experience is over, survival struggles onward, in every moment of our daily lives.”

While most professionals have in the past advised that victims keep their trauma-related works more private, to only show it to your trusted friends or family, the fast-growing use of the internet has led more people to sharing it in an online platform, which is not unexpected behavior.

I unfortunately don’t have the screenshot of the original post, but there was a post made some time back literally telling a fandom member to go and hang themselves over this garbage. A survivor of s*xual abuse, no less. And to top that off, one of Ginger’s squad @emmy-puff commented in support of that violent post, as well as blatantly misgendering the target of it. While, again, I was unable to get screenshots, there are multiple witnesses to this instance, one Anonymous even having called them out on it back when it happened. (I suspect that Emmy deleted that answer due to how bad it made them look.) If anybody reading this has screenshots of the initial post or the ask that came of it, please feel free to share.

I don’t care who you are or who you’re talking about, if you use misgendering someone as a way to hurt them, then you are an insult to the trans community. That is an awful thing to do, and you lose so much credibility if that’s the only thing you can fall back on when getting in a fight with someone. While this post isn’t about Emmy specifically, this is exactly the kind of hateful rhetoric that’s being encouraged in the environment Ginger’s made.

Another thing I would like to point out on this matter is an instance that happened in the ToA fandom a couple years back. I, again, don’t have screenshots available (I believe the original post ended up deleted) but the post in question caused enough of a fuss that I’m sure a few people must remember it...

A while back, there was an artist that posted uncensored, untagged r*pe art of Aaarrrgghh, Gunmar, and Jim in the main Trollhunters tag. As you can imagine, this infuriated many people. Many of which are among the list of those who’ve been labeled “p*do apologists”. Almost the very minute that post showed up in the tag with no trigger warnings of any kind, the fandom immediately got on OP’s tail about it, because they all shared that basic understanding of “This is a traumatizing subject for many people and they should have the ability to avoid it”. If the people you’ve labelled as pr*dator supporters were really as awful as you say they are, they would’ve jumped to that person’s defense, too. But they were completely against OP’s horrible lack of consideration of survivors, right alongside the rest of the fandom.

Am I saying you have to like trauma fiction? Absolutely not. Are there people that make trauma fiction that are actual pr*dators? I’m sure there are. But those people would be that way whether trauma fiction was out there or not. Gross people have existed and will always exist regardless of what media is out there.

I deeply understand the controversy, uncertainty, and stress that surrounds this topic, I promise you, I do. But the fact of the matter is, some people actually do use trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy as a way of coping, as has been observed in people even from ages as young as 5. To say otherwise is blatantly untrue. This isn’t a matter of opinion or morals, this is plain, studied facts that you cannot change about human psychology.

Nobody should ever have to go through something as horrible as s*xual abuse of any kind, and I know how deeply upsetting it can be to see certain images or stories with those themes in play. Those users with a sense of decency and understanding for fellow victims will tag their posts with the appropriate warnings. After that, it’s up to you to filter out what you don’t want to see. You curate your own internet experience, and it’s just plain irrational to try and harass everyone into conforming to your rules. While it’s an 18+ blog’s job to make sure to tag and label their content appropriately, it is your job to block the things you don’t want to see, whether you’re an adult or a minor. It is YOUR job to blacklist content that you know will upset you, because it is always going to exist on the internet, and any internet user needs to know and understand that. Multiple times I’d seen people going off about posts that were already appropriately trigger-tagged. If you don’t have those upsetting tags blacklisted by now, then the fault is mostly on you in that kind of case, not the OP.

Before I end this topic off, just one more example of blatant disrespect towards victims:

I’m sorry, but the absolute nerve of comparing some random fictional character you’re petty over to an actual pr*dator who’s terribly hurt real children is just awful. Imagine how insulted one of Onion’s victims would be if they saw that. Lord.

Ginger claims to care about victims, but she’s made it abundantly clear that she only cares about those that behave the way she think a victim should.

4. Ableism

I’m going to just show a couple posts here and let them mostly speak for themselves.

Just... my God. You looked at the definition of psychopath and decided that was enough to give you qualification to speak like this about it? Do you realize the extensive work and study of human psychology goes into the diagnosis and understandings of psychopathy? Not to mention, you just admit to thinking people deserve hate because of a mental disorder they legitimately have no control over? I’m sorry, but that is just cruel. Demonization of the mentally ill is not cute or funny. Next.

While I’m still annoyed with Emmy’s transphobic treatment of another user mentioned earlier, they make a very solid point in this instance. (The first post they referenced has since been deleted, but here’s the second one speaking out against the ableism.) I feel I don’t need to add much to this, as these points have already been argued very well by users better qualified to speak on the subject than I.

5. Manipulation tactics

This part is more observations of two kinds of abuse tactics Ginger appears to demonstrate, using the above as points of reference.

First, there’s DARVO.

Then, less formally, there’s this good point about online cult mentality.

Before you say anything, obviously I don’t think Ginger thinks of herself as some sort of deity. While it could be argued that she considers herself a point of authority within the TOA fandom maybe, I haven’t seen enough of this to say for sure how far that goes. So that point can be ignored, because it mostly doesn’t apply in this case. (The “Dictating parts of your online life” might also not apply, but I can’t say for sure as I haven’t gotten any confirmation of that sort of thing in Ginger’s group.)

But there are grains of truth in the other four points, especially that last one. Plain and simple, she’s made people afraid to speak their minds about even harmless things such as character analysis.

Ginger is someone who can’t seem to comprehend different viewpoints and life experiences. She’s extremely unsympathetic towards people she doesn’t understand, as can be observed in above examples. Assuming malicious intent from everybody you can’t understand is a dangerous and hurtful mindset to have, for both you and those who you unnecessarily scorn.

There are a few outcomes I’ve speculated should she ever come to see this post.

1. She will ignore this post completely, pretending as if it doesn’t exist

2. She will dismiss me as being some sort of horrible person, a p*do apologist or something of the sort (despite being a victim of that myself, clearly she doesn’t care about who’s actually been hurt by real p*dos or not if they don’t conform to her narrow worldview), and claim nothing I’ve said bears any meaning, despite the extensive evidence I’ve provided.

3. She will get people to try and attack me.

4. She will actually address these points in a tactful, mature, and serious manner instead of her usual act of trying to dismiss everything at the slightest hint of non-conformity. (The least likely outcome, but one can dream.)

I could add to this post all day, but it’s long enough as it is and my focus was on getting the main points out of the way. I understand that I lack some of the receipts necessary to back myself up in a few parts, but I know that many other fans have bared witness to those things, so I know there will be at least some people who’ll know what I speak of is true, and that’s good enough for me.

That being said, if anybody has screenshots of the instances I wasn’t able to provide for, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add them into the conversation.

!!!-If you have screenshots, but are too uncomfortable to get involved in this, then you can private-message them to me and I would be grateful and more than happy to add them in while keeping you completely anonymous.-!!!

(I've removed the section with all the tags, as I recognize it was probably going overboard. My goal was just to spread information, not to try and involve those tagged, but I understand how that may have gotten lost in translation and made people uncomfortable. Also, it apparently was showing up multiple times in people’s notifications when I only tagged people twice, so I’m not sure why that glitch happened, but I apologize for that annoyance as well.)

Now, to end us off, my responses to questions or angry comments I’m probably going to get:

You don’t even have all the evidence! How are we to know you’re not just lying about some of this?

Admittedly, I don’t have as much screenshot proof as I would like, that’s true. But for most of the instances I couldn’t provide for, there were other witnesses to her bad behavior. I don’t really have the need to lie when there’s already a lot of knowledge out there of the bad stuff she has done. Nor do I really have the emotional investment in this fandom anymore to lie for the pointless reason of causing drama.

Why post this on a throwaway account if you think people are on your side?

I just don’t really want my main blog associated with TOA anymore, to be frank.

You tagged a bunch of people, so you must be trying to get them to attack Ginger!

No. I tagged a bunch of people because I think this information should be heard on a wider scale, considering the position Ginger has in the fandom. I don’t want her or anybody else to be attacked, but her negative impact on this fandom deserves to be acknowledged.

Again, I don’t think Ginger or any of the others deserve harassment or cyberbullying or anything of that manner, that’s kind of what this whole post is against. And it just hurts the situation more than it helps it. What bothers me is how she’s never apologized for or even once acknowledged the gross way she’s treated people. While she might be more low-key about it now, she still treats people who don’t deserve it like garbage. There are still several people upset about the damage she’s caused to this fandom, rightfully so. I wouldn’t be so loud about making this post if I didn’t think it was something worth drawing attention to.

Thank you for reading.

#TrollHunters #3Below #TOAwizards #Tales of Arcadia #TOA

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 5 years ago

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@koagema said:

i’m hella late for ko discourse but, actually, at the start of the DR3 anime, kazuichi mentions that “whenever [nagito’s] around, he gets hurt”— so, not only had the classmates met each other previously, nagito’s luck is one of the factors they avoid him! ... it’s sad tbh but i just thought i’d pop in with this little detail ;w;)

No such thing as too late for discourse, friend!! I actually remember that to, and yeah, I understand distancing yourself from guy that weird stuff happens around. Especially when that weird stuff is sometimes dangerous. But, coming from a perspective that’s sympathetic to Nagito, it still sucks butt in a big way, because we know he can’t control that luck. Furthermore, there’s a difference between distancing yourself from a situation, and being outright cruel. It’s not enough to exclude Nagito for some members of the class, it has to be done so in a way that is unnecessarily mean and harsh, despite the fact that he’s done everything in his power to be good to these people. To use a particular example I’ve touched on many times: was bombing a portion of the school, no matter how deserted it was, going to far? Big yes. Huge goddamn yes. But he only did it because literally nobody else cared that these actual teenagers were going through absolute hell, and still being forced to perform their talents live on TV, under the scrutiny of the whole nation, with all the worth they’re viewed as having on the line. He really was the only person thinking about them, and that should count for something. But instead, when he literally disappears, zero shits are given. He loses a huge portion of his time at Hope’s Peak, comes back to a group that mostly doesn’t care to see him alive, and this whole plot point is weird and I feel like it exists to hurt me specifically. In fact, I meme’d about that very possibility once.

The social politics of Class 77-b are just strange to me. Nagito isn’t the only character that faces harsh rejection for only being half as bad as someone else. Gundham, for instance, is pretty much sidelined from the word go, despite it being obvious that he wants to break into the group, but doesn’t know how. Eventually he finds his place with Sonia which gives him a little acceptance among the others, but what did he do wrong in the first place, exactly? Talked a little weird? Along that vein, why will nobody stand up for Mikan, who is obviously being bullied? Sonia - one of the popular ones, in fact - who is being harassed by a fellow classmate? Why is some awful behaviour given a pass by the group, while other (sometimes, lesser) things are not? It comes together to paint a picture that just gives me a little bit of the Yikes, you know? I don’t want to shit on anyone’s faves here by the way, or anybody’s portrayal. There are certain characters who are unbearable to me in canon, that have been taken and transformed into deep and genuinely interesting experiences by members of the rpc. I just think that, while Nagito definitely needs a firm hand, and his luck is a huge factor, he doesn’t deserve to be spoken down to all the time by people who should know better. People who are used to being sidelined by society at large. People who also have talents that make them stand out, sometimes in the worst ways. Talents that are, occasionally, for some of them, just as dangerous as Nagito’s luck. And I can’t help but feel like, especially for the anime, this is all just a lazy way of characterising him as an outsider. Having him be rejected, for the sake of being rejected. So that, when the class is hurt or betrayed by something he’s done, it makes literally no sense. Y’all thought he was a disaster anyway, right? So why are you so shocked when he does something disastrous?

Obviously, this criticism is more directed towards some characters than others. I don’t mind so much that he wasn’t a blip on some students’ radars, because that’s how school works. Nor do I mind the idea of him being a loner, or someone people avoid because of his luck. Or just straight-up not liking him for no reason. Life. And I am grateful that some characters (namely, Chi and Haji, and heck, Gundham) made an effort. It’s just the blatant hostility that burns me. I’ve spent the better part of 3 years trying to understand the wider culture of the class itself, and I always run up against this wall. But maybe that’s just a me thing.

#( honestly nagito and gundham should have at least been best friends #but kodaka isn't ready for that conversation )#answered #koagema #「 i was just in the middle of an inner monologue 」 mun

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kaoru-chibimaster · 5 years ago

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How Not to Run an Event

Don’t Do What The Kingdom Hearts Big Bang Did.

Just Don’t.

Rant under the cut, so like... Seriously, scroll past this. This is me letting my feelings out and I doubt anyone’s interested in that.

-o-o-o-o-

So basically this event started out pretty hype. I was super excited to join in with something related to the Kingdom Hearts community. Before this, I just wrote fic. Like, I was so far in my bubble, I wasn’t aware of zines, I wasn’t aware of other collabs, I wasn’t even aware of some BNFs (so I’m sure I got weird looks for asking who some people were when basically everyone knew who these “some people” were). I just wanted to write and I crossed my fingers and hoped at least someone might enjoy it when I posted it.

Joining fandom was not a sudden life-changing event for me or anything like that. I was 13 and just getting into forums and had essentially only had knowledge of the KH fanbase through gamefaqs, youtube, kh-vids and kh13 (and fanfiction.net a little later). Before then, my “fandom” was my close friends and I all being fans of the games. I saw posts and read fics and sometimes commented in forums but I was not involved. For the longest time I’d never really been involved.

Big Bang felt like a way to change that. I was so looking forward to the people I’d meet and the art and fics I’d get to see. I’d made friends over the past few months and I’m so, so grateful to BB for that. I was excited for all of the up and coming events planned for Dreamwidth. I’d started out in DW for FFXV related stuff but I’d never actually used my account, so I’m thankful for the opportunity to really learn DW and start using it more extensively. I loved the little events and activities like the posts where we could share our works in progress. That’s another thing I’m grateful for; there are a number of fics of mine that would’ve never gotten off the ground if not for WIP Wednesdays. I also really appreciated that this was set up as a pro-shipping community and that it emphasized that participants could ship what they wanted without being harassed.

Aside from that?

Downhill.

Like, at first it was a slow roll down the hill: the discord server would have some channels overrun with discussion I was either uninterested in or outright made me uncomfortable. I’m not going to name drop what these discussions were and who had started them but I muted them one by one until there were only maybe three or four channels (out of a good chunk, I didn’t count but it was a hell of a lot more than three or four) that were unmuted. It’d devolved from a lot of genuine and interesting discussions where we helped each other out with fics/art and just had general fun talking to each other into channels full of the same handful of people talking over each other or venting. Not at all what I was interested in from a community. It wasn’t too bad though because the server wasn’t necessary for the BB so if the people still there needed that space then it’s not my right to give them shit for it. It was, however, totally within my right to remove myself from it, just as it was my right to feel uncomfortable with it.

That was then though.

Right here and now?

It’s a shitshow. It’s a dumpster fire. It’s basically anarchy.

My discomfort with the direction the server went in was hand in hand with my loss of motivation for my participation. I can’t even look at the fic I was writing for this event without feeling upset and stressed over it. So I dropped.

And apparently, so did a good number of other people.

The mods made a post about how We’re Committed (which no one can find now because they deleted all their social media but I’ll get to that). They urged other people within the server to stay dedicated to the event. A rebuttal was made that pointed out the sort of environment they’d created that’d made a lot of people feel the same way as me: uncomfortable. The event mods were understaffed and constantly diverting attention to other/future events and one of them didn’t even communicate with the rest of the server save to make announcements, and the cherry on top?

They expected the participants to make the effort. They expected to create a server and essentially let everyone grope around in the dark until they found a handhold. They outright told us they wouldn’t hold anyone’s hands, which was as condescending a statement as one could get, and then somehow expected the whole thing to work out? When the rest of the server occupants, including people who hadn’t spoken for ages and people who hadn’t spoken at all, started voicing their complaints, the mods acted like they were being backed into a corner they’d already placed themselves in.

They lashed out. Like children. Like a little kid on the playground confronted by their teacher after they pushed another kid and then loudly proclaimed “He pushed me first!”.

They backed out of the event and left it to the server mods. They, after having made a big deal out of commitment to the event, dropped it like a hot potato.

And then they sent this nonsense:

Just. Out of nowhere.

It might’ve been salvaged if they left it in the hands of the other mods, but they cancelled it. They fucking cancelled all the people who put hard work into making fics and art and put time into this. Every single participant wasted their time on this. And it wasn’t just a few weeks, this fucking event started in April and they had the gall to just up and cancel it.

The rest of the email below, which is just as much a wall of text as this rant is, is essentially an overly worded temper tantrum in which the mods blame the participants for everything that went wrong. Like, I get it. You’re only human. You’re stressed too. You suffer anxiety like the rest of us. I get it. Yes, it was on us to communicate with our partners. But when we come to the mods for help? The last fucking thing you should ever tell us is “we don’t hold your hands”. No wonder no one ever came to you guys for help.

But what really gets me is the fact that not every participant in this event was in the discord. Not everyone saw the drama that went down. Not everyone saw this coming. Imagine having joined this event only to find an email in your inbox a month before we were supposed to start posting telling you that the event is cancelled and it’s all your fault.

Makes the mods come across as incompetent at best. Malicious at worst.

And seriously, regardless of what’s going on in your life, what sort of hangups or problems you might have...

YOU DO NOT START AN EVENT LIKE THIS WITHOUT BEING READY TO FULLY COMMIT YOURSELF TO IT. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE CRITICISM, IF YOU AREN’T GOOD AT COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE, IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE IDEA OF MODDING FOR AN EVENT THAT YOU STARTED THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE STARTED IT.

This is common sense. Seriously. I’d never put myself in a position of leadership without being able to accept the responsibility that comes with it. Because it leads to shit like this.

I’m upset. I’d dropped the event a few weeks ago and still I’m genuinely upset. Because nobody deserved this. None of the participants deserved to have their time wasted like this. Nobody deserved the drama and the bullshit that was dredged up from this. Nobody deserved to have this bomb dropped on them literally a month before posting was going to start.

It was supposed to be fun. For me, a chance to finally contribute something in the Kingdom Hearts fandom as part of a fandom effort. A chance to reach outside of my bubble and make friends and create. And while I did get to reach out, I did get to create, and I’m going to continue to contribute on my own as I always did, I can’t say anything good about the Big Bang beyond that. All good will there might’ve been for it was ruined the moment the former mods sent that passive aggressive email.

Who the hell wants to see that nonsense in their email anyway. Aren’t they grown ass adults? They ought to know better. A simple “We regret to inform you that we’re cancelling this event” would have been enough. The rest was unnecessary and, quite frankly, downright nasty and that was honestly what pissed me off enough to make this rant.

In the end if it had silently died, I wouldn’t have even minded at this point.

But, well...

The Big Bang had to go out with a bang, I guess.

Too bad it was a shit grenade and now there’s shit all over the walls and I’m just glad I’m not the one who has to clean all that shit up.

#rant #khbigbang

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d2kvirus · 6 years ago

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Dickheads of the Month: December 2018

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of December 2018 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

It’s almost impressive that Theresa May not only managed to be the first Prime Minister to lose three votes in a day since 1978, but also be the first person in British history to be running a government that was found in contempt of parliament. So how could she top that? By accusing Jeremy Corbyn of calling her a “stupid woman” and playing the misogyny card...even though she reinstated two MPs to the party to support her in the no confidence vote in spite of their currently being under investigation for groping female staffers, sending inappropriate texts to female constituents, and in one case an allegation of rape and, because that wasn’t enough, once again delaying the promised ��20m of funding for women’s shelters

So nice of Priti Patel to crawl out of the woodwork to volunteer the suggestion that, if the Republic of Ireland doesn’t agree with the Britait terms given to them, the UK should threaten them with food shortages. So not only does she demonstrate herself to be a totalitarian sociopath who is willing to have millions starve so she gets what she wants, but she also demonstrated her ignorance of the fact that 37% of the UK’s food imports are from the Republic of Ireland while I’m sure the rest of the EU won’t respond well to one of their members being threatened with the possibility of being starved into submission.

Wanting a piece of the “let’s bully the irish” pie David Vance took a break from posting Islamophobic bilge to his Gab account by tweeting how, as the Republic of Ireland is “totally dependant” on the UK for its gas supplies, the UK should cut off their supply to force them to give the Leavers the Britait they want - which not only demonstrates what sort of sociopathic morons thought Priti Patel’s threats of food shortages was a good idea, but he failed to spot the graphic he posted to support his putsch clearly showed three gas fields off the coast of Ireland...

You would think nobody would be so brainless as to delay thousands of flights on one of the busiest periods of the year for flight departures, but then those dickheads flying drones over Gatwick decided that was exactly what they wanted to do when they flew a pair of drones over Gatwick airport that grounded flights for 24 hours - which led to Liz Truss stating that the best defence against drone attacks would be those noted ground-dwelling animals that are dogs, while several newspapers (notably the Daily Mail) are currently hoping that Paul Gait and Elaine Kirk don’t take them to the cleaners for splashing their names and faces across their front page claiming they were the ones responsible

With the Tories once again tooting on the immigration dog whistle in order to gain public support for their Britait plans Sajid Javid announced the day before the Home Office was due to release its white paper on immigration that would outline what immigration system the UK would adopt after cutting their nose off to spite their face that, actually, they wouldn’t be releasing them until after the Commons vote, but Commons can go ahead and vote even though yet more information has been withheld

It appears that Jacob Rees-Mogg doesn’t understand how arithmetics work considering his response to losing a vote 63/37 was to give some mealy-mouthed waffle about how the result isn’t genuine, yet he’s spent the past two and a half years stating that winning a vote 52/48 makes the result 100% legally binding, you can't have a second referendum, the people have spoken and if you disagree with the result no matter how many lies were told to get it you are a traitor and have achieved Unperson status

For some reason Kevin Spacey though the best use of the remarkable amount of free time he has on his hands these days was to post a video of him in character as Frank Underwood that came across as him attempting to get his role on House of Cards back (as well as, you know, appearing to be remarkably creepy) - which went so well within hours of the video going up he was charged with sexual assault

It seems that the BBC didn’t learn from the initial attempts to gaslight the public about the Vicargate scandal as they kept on trying to lie their way out of the hole they dug for themselves by stating that “Lynn” wasn’t a paid actress and the only money she received was an unspecified disturbance fee...which not only means that they paid her to appear, but it wasn’t long before several other Newsnight panelists mentioned they had not received a disturbance fee for their appearances

Not only did various Troy MPs such as Dominic Raab, Claire Perry, Ross Thompson, John Lamont, Nigel Evans, Kirstene Hair, Damien Moore, Steve Brine, David Mundell, Steve Double and Luke Graham think it was a good idea to post photos of them all smiles as they visited their local food banks, which mainly served to make them look remarkably similar to the rednecks posing with the endangered species they just gunned down to show what manly men at the height of their manliness they are, the fact that most of these photos were tweeted with the exact same caption (while also plugging Tesco) make it clear that they were posting these on orders from above

Apparently Boris Johnson forgot to declare the £52,000 he was paid by the Daily Telegraph - because that’s such a small amount of money that it obviously wouldn’t occur to him that he might have to declare it...

It seems that Louis CK got a little rusty with his lack of performing due to charges of sexual harassment, which is the only logical reason for his routine saying the Parkland survivors aren’t allowed to demand gun control because they weren’t shot dead. The amount of logic fails in that sentence is staggering

It didn’t occur to Leave.EU that, if they want to post a video triumphantly declaring that a whole twelve of their members were willing to block Westminster Bridge until they get what Arron Banks and Richard Tice get - the problem is the video they posted showed their rent-a-mob was preventing an ambulance that was on call from crossing Westminster Bridge, which I’m sure the paramedics were really happy about...

Congratulations to Seaborne Freight for the £14m of taxpayer’s money they received after being awarded a contract to run a freight service between Ramsgate and Ostend - in spite of the minor inconvenience that not only does the firm not have a trading history, but they don’t have a single ship - but I’m sure that the fact that Seaborne is run by Mark Bamford whose main claim to fame is being the brother of noted Tory donor Anthony Bamford has nothing to do with it...

Sentient testicle Toby Young used his Spectator column to whine about how this Christmas he hasn’t received a single card nor been invited to any parties, which he says is entirely the fault of the Twitter hate mob for pointing out the blatant racism, homophobia and misogyny in his tweets and columns as well as his free school’s exclusionary policies towards the disabled. So no, it's definitely not the fault of an obnoxious toad who wrote a book called How to Lose Friends and Alienate People for losing friends and alienating people with his own dickheadishness...

Person who was unaware Britain is an island Dominic Raab thought he was being really clever when he tweeted a graph to claim that British workers’ wages are rising - which only served to demonstrate their wages are lower than they were a decade ago

It’s funny how Ivan Lewis failed to use the words “suspended”, “for”, “sexual” or “misconduct” when announcing his departure from the Labour party - although it’s not funny how Sky News swallowed his version of events hook, line and sinker instead of do some researching, which happens to be what a journalists’ job involves

Glorified gameshow host with one hell of a chip on his tiny, tiny shoulder Alan Sugar responded to people hoping that his promise to leave the country if Jeremy Corbyn became Prime Minister with hope that he was true to his word by tweeting some really bad fridge poetry that culminated with him stating people with less money than him were “losers” who “have not achieved anything in life” - which I’m sure was appreciated by healthcare workers, firemen, teachers, and numerous other people who don’t make as much money as him so are, therefore, worthless

In a bid to remind people what scumbags they are Chelsea fans managed to cram racially abusing Raheem Sterling when they played Manchester City, then a few days later were heard breaking out their usual chants about Auschwitz and gas chambers when playing Hungarian team Vidi

It didn’t occur to Blizzard Entertainment that anyone who played Heroes of the Storm professionally would like to be informed ahead of time that they had cancelled the games’ esports events planned 2019 - although, as there’s talk of Activision cutting back at Blizzard, this may not be on them

Marketing genius Soulja Boy had a great idea: sell one of those emulator consoles that can be bought for around $100 and then jack up the price by 50% because of reasons, and within a few weeks pull them from stores because Nintendo’s lawyers hit him so hard they even got hold of his web domains

Hapless berk Mike Dean once again felt the need to listen to the paranoid gibberish of Arsenal fans claiming he’s a Spurs fan before a North London Derby by proving himself to be impartial...by booking Eric Dier for celebrating a goal yet failing to do anything when the Arsenal bench rushed on the pitch to jostle with him and his Arsenal teammates, nor did he seem to think Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s celebration in front of Spurs fans was a bookable offence

None of which excuses Averof Pantelli for throwing a banana peel on the pitch at Aubameyang, while his excuse of claiming that he isn’t racist because the peel wasn’t his but a kid who dumped it on the floor and, by the way, I’m not racist and anyway Greek Cypriots can’t be racist didn't help his case much

And then Arsenal fans promptly fell off the moral high ground two weeks later when one of their fans threw a bottle at Dele Alli while several of theirs were caught singing anti-semitic songs when Spurs knocked them out of the Carabao Cup in their own backyard

According to Jonathan Agnew no BBC presenter should be allowed to voice any political opinions on their own Twitter, which of course doesn’t look like Agnew saying that because he doesn't agree with Gary Lineker that means Gary Lineker is wrong and should therefore be the subject to droning idiots incorrectly citing the BBC guidelines to him

Good work by Tumblr in deciding that mass-flagging of content was the way forward, which mainly served to piss off the numerous models, photographers and artists - but judging by my follow list did nothing to deter those pages that advertise the various camgirls who are so keen on talking to you that they have a photo of them in no clothing whatsoever to advertise this

And finally, failing to do ten seconds of research when writing a statement upon someone’s death, there’s government shutdown enthusiast and person who thinks that believing in Santa Claus is more credible than acknowledging climate change Donald Trump - but nobody died, right?

#dickheads of the month

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anautisticdragon-blog · 7 years ago

Photo

Noel Plum -- Alt-Right Exemplar

I wondered if I was a bit hard on Noel Plum based on my own life's position and his attack against me for my vulnerability. I'm a sufferer of autism and PTSD, I haven't gone outside my door in decades. In Noel Plum's world view, a person like myself should only be charitably aided when people feel like it. What someone means when they say this is that the care for individuals in need (such as myself) should be optional so that one can choose NOT to. That cut to the quick. If he'd ever spoken with a social worker in his life, he'd have known of countless cases where people are simply too sick to work. If their lives depended on the generosity of others from charity? Consider that most people aren't generous, that's why we have social constructs of aid for the needy in the first place. The average person doesn't choose to be moral or ethical, but the government of the land they live in does. I'm thankful for that every day and I don't take that for granted. I never do. I appreciate all the help I've had from the government, from social workers, who've actually given me the strength to go on living. I've been a good friend to some people I care about, I'll occasionally write things and I'm slowly working on improving my artistic talents. I never really had a chance to develop these in school due to my problems. School had too much of a barrier to entry for me, being extremely focused around mentally healthy extraverts as the baseline. That's something we really could fix, but that's a topic for another time. I like making art for people. I enjoy writing. I love being a good friend. I think that these are contributions that I can make. In Noel Plum's world, I shouldn't be allowed to make them as I can't support myself financially. I should be a homeless bum. He doesn't say that explicitly but he does say that I should be reliant on charity to survive. We've all seen how well that works in countries without social systems where people do have to rely on charity, right? Those people die on the streets. It's fucking awful. Noel Plum wants that life for me. I clearly had an investment in viewing him negatively considering my position, so I thought that when I had a clearer head I'd go back and take a gander again. I'd have another look. Has my opinion changed? Mmmmm... No. I'll frame this by saying that I'm very much into armchair psychology, I tend to read journals and PhD-level theses as a past-time. I can't help myself. As someone with a mind outside of the norm I feel compelled to understand it, to understand myself better. I've come across all manner of creepiness through my readings, too. Such as the cargo cult of NLP (look it up), a group of people who twisted the concepts of CBT into something nasty and, frankly, quite psychotic. Noel Plum uses NLP in a lot of his videos, it's obvious in how he talks, how he frames things. Still, let's take a more obvious example to show you what I mean. On his Twitter, he calls himself a 'pseudointellectual moron' not out of irony but to invoke pity. That if he's being self-deprecating he probably doesn't have a lot of ego. The idea here is to have people think of him as the underdog hero, it's a very clever play. It's also the exact play that alt-right sociopaths (MRA ones, especially) tend to use. I spoke of this in a prior post. The sociopaths of the alt-right like to weave a tale for their herd of a secret, underground resistance movement where only the coolest people are invited. It's a clever play to the desire for exclusivity that very desperate, weak-willed people find appealing. Conversely, this is how cults happen. That love of exclusivity is toxic. The alt-right is essentially a Nazi cult lead by sociopaths who're fashioning this cult-like atmosphere to keep it going. It's tearing itself apart because the sociopaths involved never seem to agree with one another. Are they about conservative viewpoints? Are they white nationalists? Are they white supremacists? Do they believe in gassing all those icky non-whites? Et cetera, ad nauseum. Sociopaths are great at manipulating the crowd, sure, but cooperation is beyond them. This is why, by comparison, the left has always been more unified. The reason why is obvious, yeah? The left isn't about personal power. So what would be appealing about that to sociopaths? This is why left wing cults don't really exist. It's why you don't see left wing people banned for toxic behaviour, nor do you see left wing subreddits removed. I mean, yeah, there's the occasional blip but it's nothing like the constant cavalcade of atrocity we oppose. If Noel Plum is, indeed, the kind of person he presents himself to be on his Twitter then certainly he'd be lacking self-esteem, right? He'd be the kind of person that gets bullied for their views, that has to deal with trolls and harassment. Yeah? He'd be a little nervous, anxious, and unsure. It'd be a good thing if it were true, as that kind of person is harmless. Often a puppy dog who's kind and caring, the very opposite of a bully. There are lots of wonderful people I know on the left who're like that. So... is Noel? Well, his latest tweet at the time of writing is this: "So how about rather than 'fuck me' how about you go fuck yourself and take a long walk off a short pier you cunt." Well then. Here's the tweet, if you're curious. The rest of his tweets read like that, too. They're all hyper-aggressive bouts of bullying, with him as a rabid attack dog who'll try to harass and torment anyone who so much as even dares to speak dissent. Typical alt-right, really. Lots of fascism, racism, misogyny, and pseudo-science. That about sums up the alt-right. And there are people who actually believe in men like this, sadly. It's unfortunate because, as I've said before, I don't think that thse are innately bad people. They're just desperate to be a part of something. They're likely lonely, they want attention, they need to feel validated in some way. These people are just prime fodder for sociopaths like Noel Plum to manipulate. By offering them a form of faux validation, their reciprocation is that of undying loyalty to his cause. Again, this is how cults happen. There's no magic, here. There are a lot of unseen people in the world who long to be someone, so they're not just toiling in the shadows as a nobody any more. That mindset can result in a very weak will, one that's easily abused and exploited. I'm not unfamiliar to that, myself. I just have the fortitude to be self aware, often thanks to the amount of self-interrogation and introspection I do. I suppose my autism can be blamed for that. One of the rarely noted side effects of autism is extreme introspection which does tend to lead to heightened self awareness. After a while, the plays of people like Noel Plum and his ilk become painfully obvious. There's a world out there of that happening, in politics, in corporate structures, in academia even. I'm baffled by how anyone can wonder why I'm more than a little jaded about the human race. What's frustrating is that these people need help. Rehabilitation should be the path, here, rather than ostracising them. Yes, individuals like Noel Plum -- with their sociopathy dials set to 11 -- can't be helped. The people who follow them, however, absolutely can. They just want to be seen, they want to be validated, they want to feel important. That's why they're doing this, they don't really believe in the alt-right. And unfortunately, the more we attack them, the more their allegiance ot something truly terrible solidifies. I think it's more important to raise awareness of the sociopathic puppet masters who spearhead the alt-right with their toxic bullshit. In a recent video, I saw Noel Plum talking about how he didn't call... oh, who was it? I think it was Kristi Winters. Anyway, he was complaining about how he didn't say she looked like a man. The wording he used in that particular video fascinated me, though. It was a bit of a slip. He spoke of 'playing the game.' What game, Noel? What game are you playing? Do you think that the lives of people are a game? Are people your pawns? I've often heard people on the left say that the alt-right treat this like a game they're playing for fun, that they fuck with people to feel superior. It's one thing to hear someone on the left insinuate it, it's another thing entirely to see someone on the right openly admit it. Someone who's genuine about issues rather than just doing something for their own amusement and benefit shouldn't be framing what they're doing in the context of 'playing a game.' That should never happen. It's a very sociopathic mindset. Anyway, long story short? He'll often pull interesting things in his videos to try and look much more sympathetic. He'll start off the video with a fake bout of being flustered, or confused (such as where he put his webcam), or sick in the attempt to make himself look much more vulnerable and sympathetic. These are all emotional plays to the crowd. You don't see left wing 'Tubers (potato!) doing this, do you? You don't see Mike Rowlands or Captain Andy fishing for sympathy. No, they just get right to the point. Noel Plum uses framing too well to have not read up on NLP. He's that particular kind of skeevy. And on the kind of desperate, weak-willed people he courts, this is incredibly effective. Those with at least some empathy but a lower level of self awareness will, very unfortunately, be caught off guard by these acts. They'll believe in this BS 'vulnerable underdog' schtick he puts on. He's a showman, I'll give him that. You know who else was a showman? Hitler. Yeah, I Godwin'd. Don't give a shit. I mean, I already Godwin'd this in the bloody opening image. I think that at this point in history we're at a place where 'If you see a Nazi, say Nazi!' is more relevant than ever before. There's no point in pussyfooting around this. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knows that the alt-right is a neo-Nazi movement at this point, there's no hiding it. So what does that make their ringleaders, then? I'm not being manipulative, here, either. I'm being overt. I'm not subtly trying to fuck with your feelings. I'm just pointing out the bloody obvious. I tried to give Noel Plum a fair go, the man makes me sick. His videos actually make me feel ill. Just the amount of sheer, shameless manipulation present in each and every one of them. The way he tries to get cushy with the viewer in order to gain their sympathy? It's grotesque. "Hey, let's be friends! Now let's all hate women, non-whites, and non-binary gender people... TOGETHER!" No thanks, Noel. You can stick that rhetoric where the sun don't shine. Honestly, I'm tempted to up the ante, here. 'If you see a monster, say monster.' I see a monster. Just one that thankfully has no power. Humanity is, at least, smarter than that. Hm. I actually feel a little more optimistic, now! And then I remember that Trump is the president of the United States. Fuck...

#noel plum #alt-right #sociopathy #evil

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shastashein · 8 years ago

Note

Can you do the even numbers on the oversharing questions post?

I just remembered I never answered this even though I promised to so here ya go (I’m on mobile and can’t add tags to this, so general tw ahead for references to suicide, rape, violence, sexual harassment, abuse, and self harm)

-Who have you hurt the most?A girl I went to middle school with. In sixth grade a classmate asked to use my phone to browse the web and she used my Facebook account to send awful sexually explicit messages to another student. She warned me to make sure nobody ever found out it was her and she was terrifying so I thought I couldn’t afford to make an enemy of her and I went along with it. The girl who she harassed was afraid to come to school the next day because I let that happen. I apologized but there’s no way to undo what she said because I did nothing out of reluctance to “be whiny” even when I knew her “prank” was wrong.

-Who do you want out of your life the most?My grandmother. She’s my mother’s abuser and makes coming home miserable.

-Who had the biggest negative impact on you?Same as above probably.

-Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings toward?I mean… there are tons of people I’ve desperately wanted to befriend but never did anything about. The list is miles long

-Who do you wish you’d treated differently?My ex. I was so afraid of hurting her that I would lie about problems every time they came up. I thought dealing with everything alone was a mark of maturity on my part and made me less selfish/ more noble because I was protecting her. I didn’t realize until later that it was wrong to hide so much (even for her benefit) and to treat her with kid gloves all the time. I think a lot about how I’d like to apologize to her for not trusting her to handle tough situations, but I won’t contact her unless she actually seems to want to talk. It’s been years since we’ve spoken anyway, it probably makes more sense just to let her move on than to try to force closure on her if I don’t even know if that’d be what she’d want.

-What’s your greatest fear?That I irritate my friends and they only pretend to like me because they feel obligated to do so haha

-What’s your biggest regret?I regret wasting so much time and effort on people I never cared about lmao

-Describe your personal hell.Any situation where I’m responsible for children or else where I’m within earshot of people who are making sounds that set off my misophonia.

-What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?I’m gonna go with… every time I’ve ever opened my mouth ever

-What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?I don’t know. A friend of mine loves to remind me of how much she used to hate me (she brings it up less often now, which is nice). When she less-than-subtly implied that throughout highschool people only ever tolerated me and nobody at all genuinely liked me it was pretty devastating.

-What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?There was a period of about two years when I was in my mid teens where I thought I would be able to survive while dedicating my whole existence to helping a friend, but she was severely mentally ill and I didn’t know the first thing about effectively supporting her through that with absolutely no help from anyone, not to mention all the other problems in her life that were out of my control. I spent literally all my time on her but tried to keep it a secret to protect her privacy. I fell asleep every night holding my phone (with the ringer turned all the way up) so I’d never miss a message from her. I talked to her constantly instead of doing my homework and all of the other things that needed to be done. We made plans to move in together as soon as possible and then to get married when we were older (“but only for the tax benefits”). I hated myself for how much I’d started to resent the person I always told myself I loved more than anyone. I was desperate to make something change because I was so obsessed with her that the only time I could be remotely calm was when she was happy, which was almost never. I didn’t see things ever being any different for me/ us and I was struggling to come to terms with the idea that the next decades of my life would be spent dedicating every moment to someone I secretly worried was broken beyond recompense. Eventually either I’d die first and in the moments leading up to that, despise myself more than ever for leaving her alone, or she would and I’d have no purpose anymore because trying to make her happy was my whole life. Thinking about that future was the most hopeless I’ve been.

-What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?I’ve never been brave even once in my life I’m a massive coward

-What’s the worst case scenario for you future?Uhh. I guess losing my current friends would fuck me over pretty badly??

-What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt???? Probably when someone I was really close with went out alone at night and a man found her and hurt her very badly, raped her, pissed on her, burned her and sliced her back to ribbons, and then he messaged me to brag about what he’d done. He told me he knew to talk to me for a good reaction because after he’d reduced her to incoherent sobbing she just started saying my name over and over, so he found me on Facebook and told me how much fun he’d had. I told my friend I’d always help her and she hoped maybe if she begged enough I would come make him stop but I couldn’t be there and I didn’t do that.

-Describe a time you felt like a traitor.Two of my friends were at a party and they hooked up. Partway through friend one decided he wasn’t into it anymore but friend two wouldn’t stop. Even after learning about this and knowing it made friend one uncomfortable when others still associated with the other party I didn’t cut off contact with friend two as I should have. This means I prioritized a person who sexually assaulted and traumatized my friend over the actual victim. It was selfish and wrong.

-Describe a time you felt inhuman.Not to be Edgy™ but I feel inhuman all the time on account of being constantly dissociated off my ass

-What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?I actually don’t know.

-What’s your relationship with your family like?I’ve answered one like this before. Basically my father’s not a part of my life at all, and my mother’s cool, and I know basically no other members of my family save my grandmother (and she’s an abusive cunt)

-Talk about someone you’ve lost.I’ve only dealt with loss a few times, and it’s mostly been family I wasn’t close with to begin with. I’ll always desperately miss Deneb even though he and I talked infrequently when he was still around. He was the sweetest person and I always wanted to be closer with him.

-Talk about a desire you have that scares you.I can’t think of anything. I get intrusive thoughts about physically harming friends but they’re less desires and more “what if"s and I’m positive I would never act on any of them.

-What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?Misophonia makes me want to respond violently to sounds that I can’t handle. I’m terrified that one day I’ll do something bad to my dog if I’m stuck somewhere with her and can’t make her stop smacking her lips. If I did hit her I’d never even be held accountable because nobody would have any way of knowing what I’d done

-Describe your worst heartbreak.If this is asking about romantic heartbreak then N/A.

-Have you ever taken a fall for someone?Not that I can remember right now

-Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?I dislocated a boy’s arm playing mercy with him. (I ended up being the one to lose though lmao because he wasn’t willing to stop and I had to say mercy if I didn’t want to keep hurting him)

-Have you ever self-harmed?Yes

-Have you ever stolen something?I stole all my blades from the art room in highschool

-Have you ever been cheated on?Nope

-Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?Yes

-Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?Not really! I love stories about unexplained events but I don’t really believe in the supernatural. I think there’s always another explanation, boring as that is

#oh I can tag after the fact #long post///#please like if you read this is kind of A Lot

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