#like literally i feel like crying just bc the pressure is too much even though i'm perfectly fine
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
protoindoeuropean · 8 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
:)
25 notes · View notes
rookiesbookies · 1 year ago
Note
mischievous COD ideas😈
Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat
To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)
The boys with pregnant brat wife
Price
This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.
Soap
He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.
Ghost
Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.
Konig
Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.
Keegan
your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.
Gaz
He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”
Krueger
Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
486 notes · View notes
runningfrom2am · 7 months ago
Text
cold nights // epilogue
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: a few years later...
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.7k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n:
here it is :) the epilogue :)
(i'm crying, could you tell??) i figured it was time to post this now that we've officially entered the overlapping requiem/michigan cherry era. tbh i was just afraid to let these two go bc i love them so much.
thank you all again SO so much for all the love on this fic. it has truly meant everything to me that so many people came on this actual JOURNEY with me, i never intended this to be so long but here we are.
anyway, stick around for requiem!! and i hope you loved this if you made it this far!!
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board
Tumblr media
You were all dressed up in one of your finest gowns, attending the gala that preceded the presidential election.
Coriolanus was running, of course, and you were so incredibly proud. He's worked toward this for years, and you had been there every step of the way since the tenth annual Hunger Games, all those years ago. It felt like a distant memory- albeit one that still haunted you regularly.
You were a whole new person. A Capitol citizen most of the year, and you were happy most of the time. You and Coryo had always gone home in the summers, though, to spend your days surrounded by friends and family under the District Twelve sun. You always looked forward to it, but three months never felt like quite enough time. You missed your old life, but that's all it could be now.
While some Capitol elite was talking your ear off about the upcoming games, that's all you can think about. Well, how after the election that your boyfriend would most certainly win, those summers of peace would be a thing of the past. It was hard to think about, which is why you focussed on how you could work around it. Perhaps you would make smaller visits throughout the year- although Coryo was prepping you for the endless tasks that would even be put onto you as the First Lady of Panem. Once he wins the election, he would propose- and it would be followed by the wedding of the century. You didn't know if you dreaded it or if the pressure of it all just scared you beyond what excitement could repair.
"Miss Y/L/N?" Your train of thought is abruptly interrupted and you hum in response, bringing the champagne glass to your lips, acting like you were paying attention the whole time.
"Yes?" You respond as you lower your glass. "My apologies, I just spaced out for a moment there. It's a big day, after all..." You chuckle to recover, tilting your head slightly at them.
"I was just asking if you had any input in the arena for the next Games, if you could give us any hints." The man asks, seemingly impatient with you getting distracted.
"Oh," You reply, smile fading softly. "No, I- I really try to stay out of all of that." You laugh nervously, gripping tighter onto the glass as you take another sip, relieved when you feel someone's hand on your arm.
"Y/N, come sit. Coriolanus's speech is about to start, he got me to save you a seat at my table." Sejanus says, linking his arm with yours.
You politely excuse yourself from the conversation and allow him to pull you away. "Many thanks." You whisper to him, chuckling slightly as you glance back over your shoulder at the older man you were speaking to. "Some people are so tone-deaf, aren't they?"
"Most definitely." He sighs, shaking his head as he guides you toward his table at the front of the banquet hall, close to the stage. "Apparently that will never change."
Sejanus Plinth was your saving grace all these years, that, however, had never changed. You didn't see him as much anymore, with you being locked up in your office in the Snow penthouse focused on writing book after book until you were burnt out. His role as a doctor in and out of the Districts certainly didn't help either, but you knew he was partial to working back home in Twelve so he could spend more time with Lucy Gray. You were glad he was much more fulfilled in his adult life than you were; you always knew he would do well and you were proud. You had to take moments every so often to remind yourself that when you first met him and Coryo, you had been sad that you wouldn't get to see the men they would become but you had wondered. Now, you had your answers.
"Is that not the truth." You scoff under your breath, smiling and giving a quick wave to a few familiar faces as you pass. You had become somewhat of a people-pleasing expert, the same way Coriolanus had.
You sit down at the table at the front of the room just as the lights slightly dim, and the spotlight hits the stage. You gently cross one leg over the other, careful not to wrinkle your dress and clap in just the perfect polite way you had learned how to over the years, smiling as you see Coryo walk up onto the stage.
He waves, and people whistle and clap, and the smile on his face seems a little more genuine than it normally is during these speeches. Of course, though, this is his final address before he no doubt gets voted in as president, and you know that he is excited.
"Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight..." He says, in a subtle cue to get people to quiet down so he could speak, a drink still in his hand that he delicately hovers above the podium next to him. "This has been such an incredible opportunity for both of us running, and I must say, it's been fun." He tips the glass toward the other table at the front, and your eyes follow the movement to the other candidate, your friend and former classmate, Hilarius Heavensbee. They've never gotten along, and you know Hilarius wants nothing to do with this job. Not really. It makes you sad, a little bit, that his family would push him this far when he had confided in you in his freshman year that it wasn't what he wanted.
The man just gives Coryo a polite but nervous smile, taking another sip out of his own champagne glass. From where you were, you could see his hand trembling. You knew he would have to go next, and Coriolanus Snow was always a tough act to follow.
"Now, I am very happy about this turnout, because I have two important announcements to make." He continues, and whispers fill the room. You look over at Sejanus, a slight look of shock on your face. You didn't know he had anything special to announce, and he always kept you in the loop on everything. Sejanus just shrugs, looking back up at Coryo again. It must not actually be a big deal- it was probably just thanking some more people who have donated to his campaign.
"Firstly," He clears his throat, taking a step to the side as the screen behind him lights up. "For just a moment, see me as your head game maker and forget all about me running for president. Or don't, actually, maybe keep that in mind, but at the back of your mind." He chuckles, the little joke making the audience laugh. He was much more personable now than he once was, you smile a little as you remember helping him write his earlier speeches in a way that would make him more likable. "With the help of my fellow candidate and personal good friend, we are trying something new when it comes to The Hunger Games."
When he speaks, your heart drops and you sit up a little straighter- feeling all eyes on you as you just focus on him. For the first time, he looks down at you and gives you a small smile, the slightest nod in an effort to reassure you that it wasn't as scary as it sounded. You swallow and just keep your smile on as best as you can, ignoring all the stares.
"So, we all love The Games. They're exciting, the stakes are high, and I know every year we all pick our favourite tributes to root for and it's hard to watch them fall but, god, do I know better than anyone how good it feels when they win." Your cheeks burn intensely as Coryo sends a smile and a wink your way, and the screen behind him flashes to a picture of the two of you, taken after your shared university graduation just a couple of years ago. You were both smiling, but he was looking at you as he held you tight around your waist, and you looked into the camera and held up a three-finger salute. People are laughing and awe-ing at the photo of the two of you, and you laugh nervously, looking over at Sejanus with slightly panicked eyes.
You would be absolutely fine with this if he had just run it by you before, and you knew that whether you liked it or not, the Games were an integral part of who you were now, and always would be- but you certainly didn't want your name on anything to do with these new changes they're making. But, he wouldn't be talking about you at all if he knew you would hate it. You had to remind yourself of that.
"So, you all know my beautiful Y/N, of course, we're all big fans of hers here," Coryo says, gesturing to where you were sitting and you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head at him in a way that would appear teasing to everyone else while he waits for everyone to finish clapping for you. "Don't get embarrassed already, darling, I've got a bit more to say about you so just sit tight, okay? Nothing bad, I promise." He says to you, looking into your eyes even as he stands up on the stage, everyone's laughter echoing in the background.
"So, I have known Y/N and her outstanding mind for years now. The Games are what brought us together when we were both just kids, but you all already know that story so I'll spare you the details. The bottom line is, I am so proud of the woman she has become. She's written two books that will soon become three, she graduated in the top three percent of our class with only a District education to build on, and she is the single most well-spoken, well-mannered, beautiful, and caring woman I have ever met. Truly, she has changed my entire outlook on life." He says, talking more so to the audience than to you, knowing that you're so embarrassed by this. And he would be correct. "It has truly been a privilege to know her, and to love her."
"But that was a long journey for us both, and a seemingly endless uphill battle for her recovery, despite her strength. The Games can be scary, let's be totally honest. It's life or death, and winning will change you, but Y/N came out the other side and wanted to make a difference for her family and that inspired me. And she continues to inspire me every day." Coryo says, pausing to take a sip of his champagne again. "So, all of this is to say, I'd like to thank her for all her support through my education, this campaign, and through the life we're building together. She inspired this idea in me and with the help of my fellow game makers as well as the Plinth family..." You look over at Sejanus as he continues, suddenly realizing he must have known about what was happening. He keeps a small smile on his lips as he watches, refusing to make eye contact with you.
"This," Coryo says, turning to look up at the screen while a picture comes up of a small cul-de-sac of beautiful homes. "Is just the beginning of the Victor's Rehabilitation Initiative."
You tilt your head, a shocked and confused smile on your face as you take in the photo and try to decipher what he's talking about.
"So, recently, Y/N has been more open with everyone about the struggles that came with being crowned a victor in our Games. Yes, they get to walk away with their lives, but what if winning meant something more? What if it meant security for them and their families, so they're not returning to their Districts with no sense of what to do next? That, everyone, is what this program is for. To help the strongest of them find a purpose again, and to encourage the bravest of Panem's children to get back on their feet after such an impressive feat as winning the Games."
You have to very consciously force your jaw to stay shut when you realize what he is saying, clapping along with everyone else while your smile relaxes into something more genuine. You knew that he wanted to abolish the Games altogether, and you knew that no matter who won the election, they wouldn't proceed for much longer. This was the first step in that direction, and you were flooded with emotions. Pride, excitement, relief.
"For ten years, until the beginning of the mentorship program, our victors were cast aside. Never to be heard from again after their win, I, for one, became curious as to what happened to them after the Games as soon as I met Y/N, and I have heard that question from many of you as well since we were all given the pleasure of getting to know her." Coryo's smile is one of pride and excitement, sparing a glance at you as he allows the audience to have their responses. So far, all seemingly positive despite the present undertones of him caring about the people in the Districts. He was a smooth talker, he knew exactly how to command a space and get people to believe what he wanted. And he was using it for good. "I mean, how many other victors have something extraordinary, just like her, that won't be utilized or nurtured? We never knew."
"From now on," He continues, the crowd quieting down. "Our victors will be given homes in what we've decided to call Victor's Villages in each of the Twelve Districts. They'll have ensured security for themselves and their families, and a generous sum of prize money to help them with whatever they need. Whether that's medical attention, both physical and emotional, or, if they so choose, when they reach the appropriate age, they could apply at our university to further their education. Though, between you and I, admittance is not guaranteed." He winks at the end and it's accompanied by laughter, which you try and go along with, but you're too close to tears to even process fully what was going on. This was a huge step in the right direction, even if like he said, acceptance was not guaranteed. "What I mean, is that it will be up to them. They can live their lives to the fullest, just like our gem, Y/N."
He looks at you again, and you can really only see his blurry form through your tears until someone is handing you a handkerchief to dry your eyes while people clap and cheer over the idea.
This was something you couldn't have imagined years ago. This was everything you've wanted since the Games- to make a difference, for people to care. And it was happening right before your eyes. Thanks to him. Thanks to you.
"And with that," Coryo says after a few moments, waiting for the crowd to quiet down after taking in your reaction. "We can move on to my second announcement, which is my formal withdrawal from the presidential campaign."
Gasps fill the room and your smile disappears, a hand coming up to your mouth as you look up at him, shocked and confused with the announcement that blindsided even you.
"Are you happy here?" You ask quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the evening as you walk from your parent's house back to your own in the Victor's Village.
"I couldn't be happier." Coryo replies through a soft sigh, swinging your hand gently as it's clasped between you.
"Are you sure?" You say again, feeling a little uncertain despite weeks of his endless reassurance that this was, in fact, what he wanted.
To him, this scenario was perfect. He could keep his job as head gamemaker, planning to only return to the Capitol for a few months or so every year for the Games. He knew that wouldn't last much longer, though, not with Hilarius Heavensbee in office. Coryo gives it a few years and a few major "accidental" mistakes on his part for the viewership of the annual event to die out and open the door for the president to call them off, just like he had always wanted to.
And every day Coryo would wake up to see you in your happy place, the only place you'd ever felt truly at home. He was more than happy to give it all up for the greatest sake of seeing you smile.
"Of course." He smiles, never growing tired of telling you the same thing over and over again if it meant he could ease your mind.
The moonlight bounces off his in a way that makes you think it could be glowing if you didn't know any better.
"I told you that I would be. Years ago. You remember?"
"Of course I remember."
He lets out a breathy laugh at your reply, shaking his head. "That was a foolish question. I don't think you've ever forgotten a single word anyone has ever spoken to you."
"Sure I have." You say, tilting your head as you look up at him, trying to catch the same moonlight reflect in the blue of his eyes as you walk down the path. "I just don't forget... the important bits."
"I will try my best to take care of you while you're here."
"My honest, best advice? Figure out a way to escape."
"I can't have killed them all for nothing."
"You are not a beast."
"Please, don't walk away again."
"I survived because I had to learn to love you."
"Like in your books?" His voice interrupts the swirling of speech from years past, and you shrug.
"Not exactly... it feels different. Because I can hear it, still." You explain, voice dropping into something more quiet as the remnants of your fear eats away at the back of your mind, the cold night breeze imprinting your skin.
"God, the way your mind works, love." He says, and as you look up at him to be met with an expression of pride that always changes everything. "You amaze me every day."
You stay quiet, cheeks getting hot as you look back down at the path.
"Are you happy?" Coryo asks after a moment, eyes never daring to leave your profile as you walk next to him, hardly more than a silhouette in the dark. But certainly more than a ghost, now.
"I am." You reply, the smile creeping back onto your lips. "Such hours are beautiful to live, but hard to describe..."
He hums softly in response. That was a yes, but also a no in the most you fashion possible. His heart remains heavy in his chest knowing that there is nothing more he can do for you to help you heal besides be present. "Is there anything more I can do?" He asks anyway, hoping that maybe you would come up with something.
You shake your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile laced with reassurance.
"Well, then..." He sighs, rather dramatically. "I did have an idea, you know, something that might make you happy. Even just for this one beautiful hour."
You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand a bit. "If that was you asking me if we could-"
"I would like to marry you." He says, for the first time ever, not feeling guilty about interrupting you.
You stop in your tracks, and he stops with you instantly as if he were waiting for it, his hold on your hand not faltering for a second.
"I... you-"
"Darling," He starts, stepping in front of you now, blocking out the moon but hardly putting a dent in the presence of the stars over his shoulders, their soft light reflecting off his blonde curls. "I do love nothing in the world so well as you."
Your shock and confusion begins to wear off as he speaks the familiar words, and you laugh softly. "In your own words, Coryo."
He tilts his head at you, clearly not having expected that kind of response. He expected a lot of things. He planned for everything that could go wrong, he prepared for rejection, for tears, panic, even, but he did not expect that. "I, uh..." He chuckles nervously, giving his head a quick shake to get himself back on track.
He had read that play just for you. Just for this- because he knew how much you loved it, and he remembered the joy it brought you. The smile on your face when you told him about it that day at the lake had never left his mind.
"If you ask me in your own words, I shall say yes." You assure him, hands gripping tighter onto his despite your surprisingly calm demeanor.
"I thought you would like that... You know, knowing you..."
He's quick to defend himself, and your eyes almost sparkle as you look up into his own. "We should have learned by now that our story is our own, yes?" You ask. "We are not Beatrice and Benedick, or Laurie and Amy, or even Romeo and Juliet, just like I used to think we were supposed to be when my days were numbered. I thought I wanted one of those stories to be mine at least once before I died, but I was wrong." You say, taking in the embarrassed flush of his cheeks even in the dim lighting. "You are you, and I am me. No matter what you say I will be happy to marry you, so long as you ask me yourself, and not as someone else."
"Alright then." He gives you a curt nod, a smile on his face as he lowers himself in front of you, careless of the dirt that would no doubt cake into the knee of his pants. "You're everything to me, Y/N/N. My world... my heart, my soul. I didn't know what love was until I met you. I've spent the entirety of my adult life learning to love you, and I never intend to stop. Not even for a moment, so please, let me marry you, love."
"A Coryo indeed." You say softly, recalling the first day you had met him- when you only knew him as Coriolanus, and how far you both had come since then. The growing smile on your lips twitches and you nod, holding his hand a little tighter and attempting to pull Coryo back to his feet. "Of course I will. Nothing would make me happier."
He stands again and very quickly his arms are around you, holding you just as tight as they always had.
Tumblr media
taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @cascadingbliss
if you want to join the taglist for future fics (requiem, michigan cherry, etc.) as well as the bonus content for this fic, follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on post notifs! all i do over there is reblog my own writing, so it's effectively a taglist :)
thanks again for being here.
xx, raye
174 notes · View notes
astermath · 1 year ago
Text
nemesis; part two.
Tumblr media
pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.
♡ landing page ♡
word count: 4.9K
tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!
notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))
lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
Tumblr media
Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.
With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.
So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?
Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.
It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.
Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.
To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.
“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”
“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.
“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”
Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?
Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.
“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.
“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.
“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.
“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.
“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.
If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?
“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.
“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”
His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?
“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”
“Yeah?”
“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.
He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.
“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.
“Goodnight, chef.”
“Night.”
He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.
He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.
It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.
He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.
He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.
He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.
Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.
Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.
Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.
Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?
[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.
[carmen]: well
[carmen]: I want to apologise
[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this
[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person
[carmen]: if you’d let me
[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk
[carmen]: please
The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.
But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.
That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.
You wondered what that meant.
Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.
Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.
It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.
He had no choice but to look now.
Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?
You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.
“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.
“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.
It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.
“Do you want a coffee?”
“Sorry I was late.”
You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.
“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”
“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”
“Hm?”
“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.
You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.
You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.
Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.
Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.
“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.
“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.
“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.
“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”
“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”
“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.
“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.
“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.
"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.
"You don't do this often, do you?"
"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"
"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.
"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“
“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.
“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”
“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”
“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?
“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”
“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.
"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."
His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.
"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.
"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"
"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.
"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.
"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.
"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."
Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.
You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.
“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.
“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”
Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”
“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”
“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.
“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”
“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.
“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.
“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”
You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.
“I’m sorry?”
He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.
“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.
“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”
You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.
“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.
“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.
“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”
“…Is that you saying yes?”
“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.
“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.
“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.
Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.
“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”
You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.
He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.
“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.
“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.
“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”
“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.
“That you’re selling them the business.”
“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?
“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”
“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.
“Yeah. Me too.”
“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.
“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”
You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”
He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.
He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.
Never with him.
Tumblr media
tag list <3
@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina
509 notes · View notes
some-stars · 16 days ago
Note
for the wanksgiving prompts, could i pretty please get poolverinessa with logan and vanessa dping wade in the ass, with a side of overstimulation and wade crying bc it feels so good if it fits?
hi anon! this took me two weeks but here you go <3
(i'm gonna stick this on ao3 tomorrow when im less sleepy and can think of a title)
--
The first time they'd done this, they actually didn't end up doing it, because she'd had to call a time-out so Wade could reassure Logan that yes, he definitely wanted it, and the tears were a feature rather than a bug. Which then turned into Logan apologizing for ruining things, so of course she and Wade had ended up double-teaming him instead until he was too fucked out and pussy-drunk to feel bad about anything. A fantastic night and no regrets, for sure, but Vanessa's been looking forward to their second attempt, and so far it's fully living up to her expectations.
"Fuuuuuuck," Wade groans as he slides down her cock, inch by textured, well-lubricated inch. "Oh fuck, Ness, why'd you pick the one with all the ridges?"
"Because I'm mean," Vanessa says, which makes his cock twitch and spit a little dribble of precome. When she laughs at him it happens again. "Come on, we don't have all night."
"We literally have all night," Wade says, but he obediently seats himself the rest of the way, a squeaky gasp escaping him as his ass meets her harness. His eyes meet hers, eager for her approval; she grants him a satisfied hum before shifting her attention to Logan behind him.
"Your turn, big guy," she tells him, and Wade giggles, though it sounds a little strained.
"You're trying to psych me out, aren't you? Joke's on you, I committed the exact dimensions of Logan's trouser snake to memory the first time I touched it. I could sculpt a one to one replica from marble down to the last vein with my fucking eyes closed. I am well aware of the camel-through-a-needle situation we're working with here, believe you me."
"Nah," Logan says, and strokes his back, one long slide of his hand like he's petting a cat. Wade arches up into it like a cat, too. "You're going to take it just fine."
"Easy for you to say, Big Dick McGee. It's not your delicate rosebud in the line of fire." The blissed-out look on his face as Logan keeps petting him undercuts his griping just a little.
"You've had my entire hand up your ass before," Vanessa reminds him. "I think you'll survive." Logan raises his eyebrows, looking startled and then interested, and oh, there's definitely more fisting in Wade's future. It'll probably take some coaxing to get Logan and his big manly hands fully on board, but Vanessa is confident in her persuasive talents.
"Fine," Wade says, sounding half out of breath already even though all she's done so far is grind up into him a little, "fine, yes, I'm the champion butt slut of the tri-state area, can we just get on with it already?" He tilts his head back hopefully and Logan takes the cue and kisses him. Vanessa lets them go at it for a while, because fuck if it isn't the prettiest thing she's ever seen, the way Logan devours Wade's mouth like he's planting his flag there, the way Wade opens up and lets him in like he's been aching to be conquered. 
They don't always kiss like that. Vanessa knows exactly how much Logan loves a little conquering himself--more, really, than he goes for this kind of thing. Or more than he lets himself want it, at least, because he sure does take to the role like a duck to water when they ask him nice enough. 
Logan's hand on Wade's cheek slides down to his throat and Wade and Vanessa groan in unison. "Fuck yes, choke me daddy--oh--" Wade whimpers as her hips rock up against him, like there's even any deeper she could get. The pressure grinds the base of her cock against her clit so good she can’t keep from doing it again. 
“Enough fucking around,” she pants, and it takes all her considerable strength of will not to just grab Wade’s hips and start fucking him right. She snaps her fingers impatiently at Logan, giving him the sternest mommy-dom glare she can manage when she wants this bad, and he obeys like the good boy he is. 
Wade chokes out a hitched little gasp as Logan drags him back up the length of Vanessa’s cock. She can’t see exactly what his hand does next, but it makes Wade’s cock jump, makes him moan and swear, so she has an idea. 
“Fuck, you’re so tight already.” Logan kisses Wade’s jaw, his shoulder still flexing steadily. “I can barely get a finger in there.”
“Oh, suddenly my cute little permavirgin fuckhole is a character flaw?” Wade can’t quite pull off ‘bitchy’ when he’s this turned on, but he does his best. The way he beams when Logan muffles a laugh against his throat makes her heart and her cunt clench simultaneously. 
“Just telling it like it is,” Logan says. He gives Wade's throat a sharp nip and pinches a nipple with his free hand, chuckles again at the way Wade jerks and whines. Fuck, but he's hot like this. Vanessa makes a mental note to have him boss Wade around more often. “If you really want us both, you’re gonna have to loosen up for me.”
“Come on,” Wade begs, halfway between pleading and petulant. “Just shove it in, peanut, I’ll get used to it so fast, I promise.” 
Logan hmmms consideringly and does something with his hand that makes Wade arch his back and groan. “You sure about that, sweetheart? It’s going to hurt.”
“Good thing he’s a nasty little pain slut, then,” Vanessa says, and the sound Wade makes shoots straight to her cunt, god. “That is what you are, right, honey? Our dirty little slut?”
“Jesus christ,” he moans, “keep bullying me, I’ll come, fuck, Logan, please--"
Vanessa watches them both as Logan forces his way in, his eyes fluttering closed as he drags Wade down onto both their cocks--slowly, but without pausing even for the space of a breath. Wade’s always so pretty when he’s being fucked past his capacity and god knows he’s pretty now, dragging in gasp after desperate little gasp as his eyes start to glitter with tears. 
"Look at him," she tells Logan, "fuck, look how much he fucking loves it." When she takes Wade in her hand he shudders hard, moaning with what she knows is his favorite blend of desire and fear. It'll hurt him, making him come stuffed full like this before he's even had a chance to adjust, forcing his struggling hole to clench and spasm around the two of them. It'll hurt and he'll cry and she can't fucking wait.
She strips his cock with quick hard strokes while Logan watches with lust-hazed eyes, his chin resting on Wade's shoulder. He forces Wade down that final inch at last, and Vanessa rubs her thumb roughly over the soft vulnerable tip of his dripping cock, and Wade shouts and sobs and comes all over her belly, all those shiny trembling tears spilling over like a busted dam as she drags it all out of him.
It damn near does her in too, the way he wails for her, and the shallow little thrusts Logan can't quite hold back that rock Wade's weight down against her clit. Not quite what she needs, but enough that she can feel a fresh gush of juice flood her cunt. God, she could probably take them both even better than Wade at this point, she's so fucking wet.
That's a thought for another night, though. She's got more than enough to keep her occupied right now.
"Jesus," Logan mutters, low and awed. Wade slumps back against his chest, shaking, and Logan licks a sloppy wet stripe up the side of his face like he can't even get it together enough for a kiss. "So fuckin' hot, sweetheart, doing so good for us."
Vanessa can tell the moment when Logan realizes what he's tasting on Wade's cheeks. His eyes go black and he fucking growls, which he's never done in front of her before. She's sure as hell going to make him do it a lot more from now on.
"Oh, Wade," she purrs, grinning, "you're so fucked, babe. I think he likes making you cry even more than I do."
The noise that shudders out of Wade's mouth is some unholy mix of a giggle and a sob. "Yeah, fuck--" He breaks off, keening, as Logan's teeth scrape roughly over his ear. "God, fuck, yeah, I'm in danger. As the--" Another bite, another whimper. "As the kids say. Which is. Something. I--fuck!"
Logan plants one broad hand between Wade's shoulder blades and shoves, forcing him down onto his elbows with a startled huff. "Still talking, huh?"
"Oh, is that the game now?" Wade pants, rocking back as Logan finally starts to move, slow deep thrusts. "You want me to shut up, you're--ah--gonna have to fuck me better than that." His voice wobbles too hard for either of them to take his goading seriously, but Logan grabs his hips and gives it to him anyway. 
It doesn't make him shut up but it does reduce him to wordless moaning in less than a minute, and Vanessa lets herself bliss out for a while on the steady rocking pressure of the strap, the filthy slap of Logan's hips against Wade's ass, Wade's hitched little sniffles as he tries not to start crying again. He's going to fail, of course, but she loves watching him get there, loves the way his face collapses when he finally gives up the fight.
Her gaze keeps sliding away this time, though, because Logan is shockingly pretty as he chases his pleasure. He's flushed, pink all over and dripping with sweat, eyes closed, mouth open. More than anything he looks like one of those old paintings of the saints, face painted with an ecstasy so sharp and focused it looks more like agony than delight.
"Talk to me, Logan." She digs a heel into the small of his back, not particularly gently. "Come on, tell me how it feels, I want to hear you." 
He groans, his hips stuttering to a halt as he meets her eyes. "I--"
She kicks him once, hard. "I said talk, I didn't say stop."
His eyes go wide and he lets out a pained grunt, but there's not a hint of protest in it. He starts moving again, falling back into his driving, brutal rhythm.
"That's more like it," she says warmly. Just that sliver of praise gets a moan out of him, and she can't help giving him more. "Such a good boy, doing what you're told. Tell me how good our bitch feels on your cock, Logan."
Wade sobs, his trapped dick pulsing against her stomach as he comes a second time, and Logan swears and slams into him hard enough to slide Vanessa almost all the way up the bed with a startled squeak. "So fuckin' good, he feels good--so goddamn tight I can't stand it, christ."
She collects herself. "That tight, huh?"
Logan gasps out a laugh. "If you could fucking feel it in there--"
"Oh, honey," Vanessa sighs, "if I had a dick I could feel, you'd both be taking it full time, I promise. Now be good for me and come in his ass so I can sit on your face, okay?"
As always, Logan obeys. Wade moans weakly, puddled helplessly atop her chest, and she squeezes the back of his neck and watches Logan fall apart for her, pretty as can be.
Thankfully, Logan's well-trained enough by now not to just drop his weight on top of her when he goes boneless. Wade (who has no such training, but weighs two hundred pounds less) nuzzles into her neck and whimpers pathetically as Logan pulls out and collapses on his back at their side. Vanessa can't help imagining how wrecked Wade must look down there, and sure enough her fingers slide up inside his swollen, dripping hole like she was sinking into warm butter.
Loose as he is, he tenses when they go in. "Fuck, Ness..."
"Yeah?" She strokes up and down her own length inside him, smiling as he starts to tremble. "You want to file a complaint?" He trembles harder, shakes his head. "Good boy."
He really is wrung out, though, and she only tortures him a little before relenting. When she nudges his ass he squirms up and off of her dick, and Logan helpfully rolls him off her the rest of the way so she can unbuckle the harness and toss it on the floor.
She doesn't have to say a word, just swings her leg over Logan's chest and shuffles up to his eager waiting mouth. He learned fast here too, and he knows how bad she needs it; it's not even half a minute before she's grinding down against him and coming at long fucking last. 
It's entirely unnecessary to snarl at him not to fucking stop, but she does it anyway because she loves telling Logan what to do as much as he loves being told. The next orgasm hits almost as fast and just as hard, but she makes him work for the last two, and when she finally flops back on the bed between the two of them she knows his jaw is aching. It's a pity it won't stay that way, but since the healing factor also wipes out his refractory period, it more or less comes out in the wash.
Which reminds her that actually, Logan's probably ready to go again, since one isn't usually enough to finish him off. Well, that can be Wade's problem. She's got about thirty seconds of awake left in her.
"I'm going to sleep," she announces. "If you two want to fuck some more, do it in the other bed, okay?"
They yes-ma'am her in unison, her good good boys, and she drifts off smiling.
39 notes · View notes
princessbrunette · 1 year ago
Note
alright. i know. i literally gave you an anakin prompt already. but☝️ ..i’m here with another one.
modern!anakin running one of those tumblr porn blogs to talk about his nasty little fantasies. (not sure you remember this, but i wrote him posting “i like doing evil things to pretty girls.” while ago as an example of that behavior) and you happen to follow him. maybe you interact with him because you’re intrigued by his gross language and you reach out (maybe you swap some pics, and agree to meet). not sure how you’d wanna play it but ! i thought you’d wanna know about it
i think what’s so sexy about him doing this is he’s like… oddly nonchalant about it? he’ll mutual you, but never come onto you in a sexual or creepy way bc he’s a people pleaser and cares too much about people thinking he’s a weirdo. instead he just sends you memes relating to something you posted about one time just to show he listens, you know?
and like duh, he wants to fuck you, he’s a guy with a dick. but it’s better just to befriend you first, right? doesn’t wanna be a douche about it.
but then the two of you start talking properly outside of just memes, and calling, and flirting, and oh god — you’re one of those people. falling for someone online. someone who wouldn’t care that much to fly out to see you right? right?
he ends up in your city, and suddenly you’re picking him up from the airport ?? and you’re thinking jesus christ, yeah i’ve seen pictures of him and he’s very good looking but that’s gotta be… altered in some way right? there’s no way someone that fine runs a tumblr blog that depraved… and soon all 6ft- what, 4? of him is walking towards you in the airport, smiling so friendly and opening his sculpted arms for a hug and you’re just ????? fuck my life ??????
so the two of you go out to a bar, and literally one glass of wine in each and you’re giving him the big doe fuck me eyes, talking so much you don’t even think to get a second drink, the chemistry buzzing through your bones and up your skirt. he didn’t think he’d be getting lucky this fast, jesus — he booked to be here for like 2 weeks so he can really milk it out of you. poor thing was just too needy for it.
you’re blabbering how you’ve never done this before, having some guy fly out and fucking him on the first night when you leave the bar arm in arm, headed straight for his hotel. you think he might crumble under the pressure, again — who runs a blog that depraved and actually knows how to do all the stuff they talk about? but he’s so calm, collected, chuckling at your eagerness, reiterating one million times that there doesn’t ’have to’ be anything. not to feel pressured to do anything just because he flew out. great, so he’s a good guy too. you’re surprised your arousal wasn’t running down your legs like a faucet.
he knows his stuff, and it shows back in the hotel room, bringing you a glass of water even though you had one glass, telling you to drink it, forcing every form of consent out of you because he needs to know you want this like he does. even so, so much kissing once you start — giving you time to back out, giving you time to get so drooly and desperate you’re humping his lap and nearly crying.
anakin soothes you. “what do you want baby? flew out here just to see this pretty face, lemme give you what you want sweet girl just gotta tell me.” muttering it against your lips like he’s casting a spell.
“wanna — wanna do all the stuff you wrote about. thought about it every night.” you mewl, your tits heaving against his strong chest. there’s that low chuckle again, pretty smile lines on his cheeks you can’t help but kiss.
“mm, i remember a few you liked a lot. what was that one about having you on my lap, dick all in your guts, just rubbing that pretty clit ‘til you cream all over it. something like that, right baby?” his hands are massaging your hips and god — yes, yes yes whatever you say, nodding so hard your head might come off.
safe to say he keeps his word, showing you everything he knows.
124 notes · View notes
Note
ARI FIRST THINGS FIRST I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TAG U I DIDN'T WANNA PRESSURE U OKAY I'M SORRY second of all how many of them can i ask about bc......... what if i wanna know about all of them? what then ari???? have u thought about that?????? okay okay no but i do NEEEED to know about sappy drunk!sugu bc helloo??? that sounds so good and also woLFY SUGU AND LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD????? you're crazy i'm so obsessed already and actually sick!satoru too bc he's gonna be such a baby i need to hear about it OK ONE MORE BECAUSE NOBARA??? OH MY GODD SKATERGIRL NOBARA PLEAAAAASEEE that's literally genius wow i can't wait to hear about all of them i'm so excited!!!!!!!
- @softgirlgonehaywire
MICKEY PLS DONT APOLOGIZE PHSJDHD i wasnt planning on doing it at first cause i didnt know if ppl would be interested 😭😭 BUT then i saw that u and everyone else was doing it so i immediately caved AND IM SO GLAD I DID u picked some of my personal faves !! ari/mickey connection going steady hehe
i’d apologize in advance for making this long but i feel safe w u this is just our average communication let’s go <33 here is some tea for u while u read !! 🍵
OKOK SOOOO first of all ; sappy drunk!sugu x reader….. yes. this one is sooooo special to me its been downright rotting in my drafts since the beginning of time and its literally all written out ?? but i need to delete some stuff n polish it overall….. </3
BUT yeah the plot is basically just: sugu goes out to a bar w satoshoko, gets drunk even though he literally never gets drunk, and so reader discovers that he is, in fact, the sappy kind. (shocker!) it’s just sooooo sickeningly fluffy and he’s so whipped. ☹️☹️ he’s like a puppy. all he can think of is reader and how much he wants to put a ring on their finger HE’S SOOOOO
here are a couple snippets hehe. literally just disgusting amounts of Fluff for my soul
Tumblr media
sho 🚬 : anyway he’s been asking me where u are for the past ten minutes pls come i can’t stand him sho 🚬: he’s crying. you: HUH???????? you: WHY??? 😭😭😭 sho 🚬: dude i dont know sho 🚬: pls come get him he’s being so sappy that satoru’s abt to throw up
Tumblr media
”— and i have you.” a stutter of your heartbeat, a jolt throughout your chest. his stare almost burns, but you can’t avert your gaze — suguru looks positively lovesick. admiring you with a dreamy gaze, as if he can’t believe you’re real. he reaches a hand out; cradling your face with one big palm, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your skin so very gently. smearing his fondness from your jaw to your cheekbone, so loving your breath hitches in the back of your throat. a soft, content sigh spills into the air, like a prayer that doesn’t need any words. his smile is serene.  ”my angel.” that peaceful smile changes shape, shifting into a big, giddy grin. it lights up his whole face. a chuckle leaves his lips, content and delighted. ”i’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
Tumblr media
”sugu,” you whine, dragging his name out childishly. ”we need to sleep…” ”sorry,” he only murmurs, muffled into your skin. he doesn’t stop, though, planting a wet smooch on your cheek, and then another. you squirm a little in his hold, and he emits a shaky breath. ”jus’ love you so much…”
Tumblr media
i just think sugu has so much love in his chest that he like Never lets out bc he knows it can feel overwhelming unless he shows it in small doses but then he gets drunk and everything just SPILLS out . idk but my knees would buckle
AND THEN ….. wolf/hunter!sugu x little red riding hood!reader OHHHH MICKEY IM SO HAPPY U ASKED…. this concept entered my brain and has Not left even once but its still just this vague idea in my head. im just so interested in fairy tale aus!! i figure its probably gonna end up kinda twisted? or maybe a mix between sweet/twisted if i can pull it off 😭😭 bUT the main idea is that sugu plays the part of both the wolf AND the hunter, reader doesnt know who to trust but sugu is their only option either way. at first i was thinking of making him like a whole Wolf Man but now im leaning towards it being more symbolic … the trustworthy hunter was the ”wolf” all along yk? IM SO FOND OF THIS ONE i cant wait to write it !!! ive been itching to write something a lil more gritty anyhow :33
AND AND SICK!TORU X DOTING!READER ….. our babyboyyyy he’s so :((( he’s just so sick and delirious and trying to convince reader that he’s Fine Actually but he’s just burning up :(((( and so he has no choice but to face the terrifying reality of Being Taken Care of By Someone He Trusts. horrifying. as soon as he’s slightly better he’s just throwing himself over u and begging for kisses though (he’s an opportunist <33)
this is another one that’s just veryyyy fluffy n sweet!! AND another one that i have written out i just need to delete a lot of stuff bc its like . over 10k i think I GOT CARRIED AWAY OK…… 😭😭
aaand here r some snippets from this one!! just overflowing w gojo love <333 he’s our sweetiepie our little baby angel i need him tucked into bed
Tumblr media
”really, baby,” he slurs, voice raspy and dry. attempting to get up, arms straining under his shivering body. ”there’s no need f’ —” unceremoniously, his limbs give out beneath him, and he tumbles back down. face falling back into the mattress, as he croaks out a meek little wince. (the sound makes your heart squeeze tightly in your chest.) ”ah,” he hums, muffled into the sheets. resisting the urge to close his eyes. ”that’s… annoying.”
Tumblr media
”baby, i think my fever’s going up again…” satoru pouts, looking up at you. ”can you check?” a raise of your eyebrow. you give him a smile. ”this is the fifth time you’ve asked me to check your temperature, toru.” ”just wanna make sure,” he whines. ”please?” an exaggerated sigh. then you’re leaning down, soft lips meeting his forehead, humming against his skin — and, just like last time, and the time before that, his temperature hasn’t gone up. ”you’re good.” ”oh, thank god,” satoru exhales. ”are you sure? like, a hundred percent sure? maybe you should check again. just in case.”
Tumblr media
”you’re cute,” satoru croons, still cradling your cheek. tenderly, soft fingertips against your heated skin. all you manage is a meek little furrow of your brows, but that only makes him chuckle again. after a silent moment, you part your lips. ”… you can.” he blinks. still smiling. ”stay forever, i mean.”
Tumblr media
yeahhhhhh. yeah. u know how it is. (i am consumed by love for this silly little 28 year old man)
AND FINALLY LAST BUT NOT LEAST … skatergirl!nobara x reader <333333 my most beloved ever. i only have a vague outline but im sooo in love w this concept mickey im overjoyed that it caught ur eye….. just . picture nobara being covered in hello kitty band aids bc she’s not very good at skating but she just thinks it’s SO fun and she goes to the skate park w maki while wearing acrylic nails and she’s just having such a blast :(( grinning and giggling!!! she’s literally my daughter i adore her ….
my idea for the fic is basically just that reader has this weird one-sided rivalry w nobara bc they’re a bit jealous of her + she’s so pretty it makes them angry LOL and they assume that she doesnt notice them at all… but in reality nobara is like HIGHKEY crushing on reader she does these complicated flips JUST to impress them she’s a lovergirl!!! so it’s basically just super duper fluffy n sweet hehe <33
TYSM FOR ASKING MICKEY i had to take my time w this one hehehe . i hope u’ll enjoy these fics when theyre posted although it’ll probably take a while… COVERING U IN KISSES WATCH OUT
13 notes · View notes
autisdicksimmons · 2 years ago
Text
I could literally talk about all of Simmons’s body issues for hours (no I’m not projecting ahaha) but yes he’s trans and struggles with disordered eating and he’s trans and he’s autistic and all combined those things give him a super hard time enjoying functioning as himself especially in body-related ways (these thoughts are gonna be disjointed deal w it sorry dude)
But like, the way that he gets after Grif when it comes to food, and drinking, and smoking, and everything else? Yet despite this, we know that he has quite the self-destructive streak (crying and punching mirrors) which makes him a huge hypocrite— so why get after Grif like that? One could say that it’s because he has his body parts, but that can’t be all true because he’s still getting mad at Grif before the surgery, so it’s just things that he finds inherently undesirable traits— traits that have anything to do with a lack of self control, which Simmons believes himself to have. Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t seem surprised at all when Sarge uses withholding rations as a punishment— so either A. Sarge does that a lot, which could be true though we never see him do it after season 1 B. He’s accustomed to this as a punishment.
I think B is most plausible, given Simmons’s general demeanor and upbringing. He gets mad at Grif for not doing anything to earn food, then “overindulging” anyway, where Simmons views food as just that: something to be earned. Likely he was sent to bed without supper as a punishment as a kid, or forced himself to study through meals or similar behaviors at the very least. In my own mind it goes further than that, but his relationship with food is definitely complicated (especially with his mentioning going vegan after having to eat a dog at a previous outpost??? Holy shit that’s a trauma). Especially being trans (bc he is) even though he speaks far more positively about his mother than his father, the way that body issues get passed down from mothers to their afab children? Even if it wasn’t an intentional thing on his mothers part, those things are too easy to pick up
More on the having to eat the dog thing too, that history of food insecurity/starvation, plus being generally food anxious, is definitely something that lends itself to rationing and portioning and keeping their stock organized… which he does. And then consistently gets mad at Grif for eating more than his planning has allowed for. What’s one of the first things we learn he’s been doing in season 11? Growing fucking cabbage. Which, for one, how, but also the fact that he’s the only one of them to do something like that says a lot about who he is. Stupid, anxious about food, and resigned to the fact that no one is coming to get them (or at least planning for that scenario).
Not to mention, trans people are WAY more likely to develop ED’s than cis people, and I don’t even need to go into all of the reasons I think he’s trans bc I feel like that’s a separate post and I’m sure someone else has already summarized it better— but anyway, picturing a young Simmons, struggling to fit in and be good enough for his parents and not hate himself entirely and have control over something? Yeahhh OOF plus, I’m also not explaining why I think he’s autistic rn, but adding autism to the mix? Having difficulty with certain foods and textures makes it hard to want to eat to begin with, and with the kinds of pressure he seems to have faced as a child to be strong and tough and athletic and generally not his nerdy self, having sensory problems probably made it just that much harder, making him hate the way his body responds to things other people, “normal people,” can handle fine, returning him to that cycle of self-hatred, and that’s just within himself ignoring all of the bullying we know that he’s faced. It’s no wonder the dude showers in his underwear still, like, bro’s self conscious and anxious and probably just generally does not like his body.
Also his ass is literally a fax machine. That’s gotta do a toll on the psyche
36 notes · View notes
veilder · 2 years ago
Note
Hey, you don't have to post this ask or anything, but I'm trinityonline on ao3 (the person who keeps crying over 'of little loves and orange slices') and I wanted to let you know that your work directly inspired me to write this: Cast & Sugar https://archiveofourown.org/works/46601668
I generally struggle with writing flash fiction, so I copied the way you structured and paced your story. (I quite literally sat there and read paragraph by paragraph what sort of content it had and translated it over to my story lmao.) I studied some of the methods you used to describe things which really brought out the emotion I felt when I read orange slices. I wanted to duplicate the aesthetic your piece had, however, I found that because it was written in Hank's voice, it didn't have such an impact when I changed the voice to PM700. Anyway I'm typing a lot bc I'm nervous sending you this I hope you don't hate me for using your work as a guide HAHAHA
But yeah, you don't have to read my thing, I just wanted to let you know that it exists and that you directly helped me structure it <3
(And if you do read my thing and don't know about my hype about PM700, check out my Tumblr feed which has a bunch of screenshots and stuff <3) (but seriously no pressure) (not me toggling Ask anonymously on and off lmaooo)
Hello!!! Omg, this is the best ask I've ever gotten, absolutely do not worry about anything, my friend!!! When I tell you I actually straight-up cried because of your devastatingly kind words, I'm talking literally, omggggg. I could not be more flattered and honored and freakin giddy than I am right now!!! :D Lemme just doubly reassure you though! No, I do not mind at all that you left me this ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL ASK!! No, I could never hate you for any of this, I am beyond delighted that something I made could be in any way this impactful to someone!!! Gosh, you studied my fic like a textbook, I don't even have the proper vocabulary to express how--! How--! How that makes me feel!!! But it is positive!!! Very positive, for reals!!!! 🥰🥰🥰
Also, I very much did read your fic and it was wonderful and you absolutely nailed the style of it so hard!! I checked out your tag for the PM700 too just to see what I was dealing with, though honestly, you wrote her so well I probably didn't even need to. XD And if anyone is still reading this absolutely unhinged ramble of mine, please go check out their fic!! It really struck me right in the feels and I'm still reeling from it, wow! They wrote one of the best Connor's I've ever seen, I love him so much. And they also made me care about a minor side character a significant amount, omg. XD (I swear, I will have to put her in a fic of my own someday if I ever write again. XD) It's just a super well-written, hard-hitting, emotional oneshot that is well worth a read! :D OP, I hope you know you made my night? I... can't even begin to express how much this means to me. You are an absolute blessing and have given me so much joy. Thank you so much for sending this ask! (And not doing so anonymously! :D) And please please please feel free to hmu in a DM or something if you ever wanna chat! I'm so here for it! :D
12 notes · View notes
seoafin · 2 years ago
Note
HELLO ??? LITERALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES UR FIC IS TOO GOOD ?????
i felt every single emotion reading it. i am numb.
(forgive my rambling... please)
megumi... poor boy. when ur around his age, you would imagine that you'd trust people easier, or have a "child-like faith" but he's the complete opposite and it BREAKS MY HEART LORDDDD
tsumiki as well... 😭 carrying so much on her back and she probably hasn't even learnt quadratic formula yet 😭 my heart aches everytime i think about her tbh. it takes an insane amount of maturity (for someone as young as her) to keep smiling and get things done for her and megs. or maybe she has double the amount of child-like faith that megumi just seemed to lose along the way. (just yet another way of how she's raising them both.... crying)
toji may be a piece of shit.... but he's my piece of shit im so sorry. glad that rip!mc gave him that wake up call though !! (if only she were canon.... gege im in ur walls).
satoru being angry and annoyed for this entire fic did make me giggle. personally, i don't think many things can get him that riled up,,, so let's just say im jumping up and down at the fact that someone so "boring" can make his blood pressure increase like no one's business. (i love how protective he is even though if u look closely, he can be borderline psychotic. he cares SO much about her anddddd i have tears in my eyes again. wow. just him immediately taking rip!mc to his room to play cards. him making immediate moves to help her and megs. that is SO important to me.)
suguru as well 😭 he is so cute shame... just constantly flustered 😭😭😭 thank you for making him happy.. it's all i've wanted for the past 3 years 😭😭😭 (him and satoru.... thin ice... love them tho. but thin ice)
shoko. im in love. nothing has changed. i understand rip!mc. plus,,, her being the biggest instigator LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 not giving satoru, suguru, OR toji a moment of peace. such wife material actually. it's also so heartwarming that she doesn't pry into rip!mc's stuff, how she continues to lie to the boys just for her. the blind trust.... they're meant to be... (THE END WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. PERSONALLY.)
rip!mc.... you really dug at my heart this time 😭😭😭😭 i don't wanna overshare, but all i will say is, she is JUST like me. im fr just looking at myself at this point and all this kinda hits home 😭 (the daddy issues theme was amazing morgan love it) she is too kindhearted for her own good (sounds like SOMEONE... 😔) but i love her w everything in my heart. she deserves every single good thing and more that comes her way tbh. just her projecting her issues onto megs and toji was so heartbreaking. love her.
marie is so fine.
amazing fic as always morgan. you are genuinely such an amazing author, u really grabbed me and forced to feel every emotion in this fic 😭 ur talent never fails to amaze me. you >>>> the world. ly and goodbye. (more art coming ur way!)
IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!
my favorite thing abt writing rip!mc is hands down her dynamic with megumi and i know i haven't written abt those two as much as i probably should've but i love them...i made it so that rip!mc would parallel megumi bc i wanted to explore a character that really had no other choice but to become a jujutsu sorcerer like in an another life rip!mc could've been megumi and megumi could've been rip!mc the possibilities!! tsumiki too. im rlly excited for her role in the upcoming chapters/arcs bc i rlly want to see more of her. just imagining tsumiki who is barely older than megumi taking on the role of responsibility when they were children breaks my heart. also a lot of ppl talk about megumi and toji but what about tsumiki and HER mother??? like yes toji abandoned megumi but so did tsumiki's mother like ouch that must've hurt or maybe she was just so used to it which is why taking care of megumi came so easy. maybe she was used to fending for herself 🥲
toji.... i originally envisioned rip!mc finding him in a pachinko parlor LMAO stsg were ALSO supposed to visit the hostess club unfortunately i cut the scene out bc it didn't make sense. but yes the man definitely needed a wake up call personally i think rip!mc should've been even harsher but the girl was straight up dissociating that entire conversation fjdksfdjnks
hs gojo is such a tsundere!!! like it's part bc he sucks at communicating and it's another part the fact that rip!mc is just extraordinarily dense in aspects. he also just assumes that it's a given that people understand him (like geto does) LMAO. i feel like that's the difference between hs gojo n adult gojo in regards to his relationship with rip!mc. adult gojo is just a lot more confident in how to handle her and knows exactly what buttons to push while hs gojo is a lot more rash and easier crueler with his words. he is the WORST.
when else is geto not going to be happy other than in my fics 😔 i love him so much!!! i wrote all the geto scenes for this fic first and then tried to figure out where to fit gojo let me TELL YOU. all the geto parts were done and written!!! it took me like 3 months to finish gojo's though 😭😭😭
ok let's talk shoko aka the TRUE ENDING. yes shoko is the biggest instigator ever. it would be hilarious to see gojo and geto riled up while also asserting her Dominance as rip!mc's number 1 <33333 in the end she's the only one that actually and truly just wants the best things for her bf even if that may or may not include stsg. these bitches r so gay.....gojo n geto r just willfully blind about it DNFJKSDNJF
thank you so much for reading friend!!! once again im so so so so happy you enjoyed it <33333 like if even one person enjoyed that makes me soooo happy and thank you for letting me read your thoughts I LOVE WHEN PPL TALK TO ME ABT MY FICS <3333 also i will eagerly be awaiting whatever u draw omg
13 notes · View notes
globodamorte · 2 years ago
Text
...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.
ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.
"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.
anyway.
we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.
God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao
anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.
like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress
what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.
I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.
I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud
everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder
I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever
I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"
I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...
but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad
I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔
to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
sc0rpain · 3 months ago
Note
just read ur boat boys fic. WHAT THE HECK THAT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ACROSS EVERY FANDOM EVER OH MY GOSH I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE WORLD BUILDING THE FLOW OH MY GOSH
and the way i can practically FEEL the animosity between etho and joel. gosh. ok. call me when you drop another freaking new york times best seller novel because i am now forever more your fan.
the way you did the last paragraph, going from joel to startos in one scene. it was so natural too?? i don
t know if you will make another part and no pressure obviosuly but if you do i swear i wull have to hang it up on my wall to dissect into pieces.
havent been this excited over something i've read in a reaalllllly long time and now i just, like wow.
the sheriff???? and etho though? the way you casually placed a fifty layered plot behind the heros hq potentially being evil? the security breach? and etho being scared of them?? joel's "flirting" ?
i swear i could see storyboards play in my head for this thing and the camera angles were stellar. i don't know if i'm making much sense lol.
sorry i just...thank you for this masterpiece honestly.
-your new biggest fan. whoever it was before got demoted sorry lol.
OMGHSKRHFH THANK YOU SO MUCH????? LITERALLY CRYING ANON THIS IS SO SWEET IM SO GLAD U LIKED THIS SO MUCH. i really really want to write more of this AU bc i accidentally started doing CRAZY world building in my head and omfg this motivated me so much more. i can't even express how much i appreciate this!!!!! this is literally every authors dream, im so glad you liked it AND noticed so much!!! thank you for taking the time to write me this!!!!!!! AAAAAA!!!!! anyway i love u anon. we are riding off into the sunset together.
1 note · View note
taintedcigs · 1 year ago
Text
first of all. YOUR WRITING IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS ANDY. it is not repetitive, it doesn't need improvement. ITS YOURS, ITS UNIQUE, and its beautiful. pls don't be too hard on yourself, ily <33
second of all. THIS CHAPTER OFFICIALLY WRECKED ME. as a proud team steddie IDK WHAT TO FEEL? AGONY? HAPPINESS BC EDDIE WAS SO CUTE? DYING INSIDE BC STEVE MAKES ME SOO?? IM CONFLICTED OKAY?
He scratches the back of his neck, “uh well, apparently Ray is a fan of pocket knives,” he laughs.  I WILL KILL THAT SON OF A BBBB WHAT OMFG
“She is not you.” ALWAYS FUCKING GETS ME. JESUS CHRIST. JESUS FUCKING CHRIIISTT.
“I know,” he whispers, frowning at the ground, “I know, I’m sorry. I-I made a mistake and I will regret it for the rest of my life.” GROVELING ALREADY STARTED IM SMILING RN IM SORRY
“Don’t put the blame on yourself,” he says in anger for himself, “I was the one who lied to you, I was the one who fucked up. Not you, y/n. Never you.”  FINALLY TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY GOD I LOVE THIS MAN BUT I ALSO HATE HIM AND I ALSO LVOE EDDIE.
“Yeah,” he whispers, “I would have stayed with you.” Because this is what he wanted. He wanted you to fight for him, he wanted you to make him stay.  SHUT UP THIS MAKES ME SO SAD. BUT HE SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONE TO FIGHT FOR R!!!!!!
“But you shouldn’t have, it wasn’t your job to fight for me. I should have fought for you. You should’ve been the one to leave, not me.” THATS WHAT I SAID WAIIITTT STEVE AND I SHARE ONE MIND.
GOD THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THEM HAS MY HEART TIGHTENED. THIS IS SO SAD OHMYGOD.
It’s always you, it’s always been you, it’ll always be you. im actually going to die. I AM ON THE FLOOR. SOBBING. MELTING.
and OH MY GOD. FINALLY I CAN USE THIS OH MY FUCKING GOD
Tumblr media
IM SO HAPPY FOR THE BREAKUP, THOSE TWO NEEDED TO REALIZE THAT THEY BOTH DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER AND WERE TRYING TO REPLACE THE PPL THEY ACTUALLY LOVED W EACH OTHER.
THE SURPRISE PARTY EDDIE THREW FOR HERRR OMGGG. he's literally so sweet. i love both of these pairings so much MY GOD. the rings!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 also the fact that he tried baking a cake OH MY GODDD.
AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING A BIT OF FLUFFINESS... JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO REALX.
So, he showed up at your party.  But he did not expect to see you in Eddie’s arms – not like this.  He sees you smile and even though it breaks his heart to see you with him, he can walk away with a calm feeling in his chest because he gets to know that this night won't end for you in tears this time. But for him, it does.  YOU WENT AND DID THIS??? OH IM A PUDDLE... I AM CRYING IM SOBBING... MY THERAPY BILLS WILL BE AT YOUR DOOR. TOMORROW 8 AM SHARP.
i love this story andy, so much, don't ever doubt yourself because it is amazing. and also ignore all the other ppl who are pressuring you. THIS IS YOUR STORY. YOUR WRITING. it's perfect the way it is! and i can tell u that i'd DEVOUR all of it even tho reader ended up with like an alien or something idk. ILY!!!! 💗💗
I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 17
Tumblr media
Warnings: angst, mentions of unrequited love, mentions of cheating, underaged drinking and drug consumption, break ups, mentions of injuries, mentions of pregnancy (it's just a joke)
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader, Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler, Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Summary: You spend the night before your birthday with Steve and the same night, it takes a turn for him.
Word count: 9.5k
A/N: This chapter made me realize that my writing needs way more improvement, my words are too repetitive, please ignore. Also big shoutout to @hellfire--cult for throwing some really really amazing ideas at me, thank you, love. I appreciate you! @mysticmunson my angel, thank you for always helping me 🤍
series masterlist
-
You missed the warm nights, the transition from winter to spring and spring to summer, where every day it gets warmer and warmer. The sun gets brighter and the flowers adorn every field that you pass by. 
It’s only the end of April but it’s already so warm, this night especially. The breeze you feel on your skin is one that reminds you of a chilly summer night. 
Your eyes are closed, you are leaning back against the railing as you sit outside on your porch steps, waiting for him to come. A year or two ago, you would have waited for him in your room, you would have waited for him to climb through your window and surprise you with a present. 
This year, everything is different. 
You don’t want him to sneak into your room, that would only bring up painful memories again and you have had enough of those in the past few weeks, you know that seeing him tonight, will only make things worse. Still, you can’t help but feel excited to see him. 
You shouldn’t feel this way, you really shouldn’t. 
But you miss him, you miss what you used to have. 
The sound of a car pulling up and the bright headlights make you open your eyes. 
This feels so wrong. To let him back into your life so easily is such a huge mistake. You don’t know what prompted you to say yes to him when he asked you if he could come over the night before your birthday. Maybe it was the wish to uphold the tradition you have had since you were kids or maybe, it was your stupid heart that made you say yes. 
You should have said yes to Eddie when he had asked if you wanted to see a movie with him tonight. You shouldn’t have said yes to him. 
He gets out of the car and his eyes instantly lock with yours, his brows furrow, he is probably wondering why you are outside. There is something in his hand, you can’t make out what it is. 
“Hey,” he says when he walks towards you. 
You force a smile, to match the one on his face. 
“Hi Steve.”
The gravel crunches beneath his nike’s and he looks down, breaking eye contact for a moment. 
You eye him in curiosity. 
Isn’t this weird? 
To do this when he is with someone else? 
Does she know where he is, right now? 
He sits down opposite of you, leaning his back against the other railing. His breathing is a little unsteady and he clears his throat. The porch light is the only thing lighting up the area around you, it’s very dim but you still notice the flushed cheeks. 
“How are you?” He asks, nervously. 
Only as you hear the shakiness in his voice, do you realize just how nervous he actually is. 
You don’t know this side of Steve – you don’t remember ever seeing this side of him. The Steve you once knew was always full of himself, confident, arrogant and cocky. Never nervous. 
You haven’t talked to him in a while. The notes you have passed to each other in class don’t count. 
“I’m okay,” you say as you pull your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around them, “how are you?”
He hesitates and his eyes stray away for a few seconds, he looks down at your hands, staring at your rings. 
You notice the dark circles under his eyes and the way his features are etched with something that reminds you of something that you always used to see on your face whenever you looked at your reflection in the mirror, when he was seeing Nancy. 
“I-I uh, I’m good.” 
It’s a lie.
He usually used to avoid looking into your eyes whenever he lied to you. 
“Are you?” You ask before you can stop the words from spilling. 
When he looks up and you see his eyes again, you notice the frustration behind them. He wears the same look that you used to wear after every fight with him. 
Did they fight? Did she make him cry the way he made you cry? Is that why his eyes are glassy and red rimmed? 
He only nods. 
“It’s almost midnight.”
“Yeah,” you whisper and hold eye contact. 
You hate your birthday, god, you hate it so much. If you could, you would sleep the day away but you can’t.
“What’s that?” You ask, gesturing to the tiny box in his hand, the one he hasn’t let go of since he came here. 
He hesitates when he follows your gaze and looks down at the object in his hand. 
“Uh, it’s your birthday present.”
You raise your brows and you ignore the way your stomach flips at his words. 
“Oh?”
He nods and then scoots closer to you but he doesn’t hand it to you yet. He still holds it tightly. 
“What’s in there?” 
A smile tugs at his lips, “never the patient one, are you?” 
A breathy chuckle falls from your lips and you shake your head, “you know me.” 
His eyes skim over your face, your soft features and the light in your eyes that never died, even after everything he had put you through, the light is still shining brightly even when you can’t see it. 
“Yeah, I do,” he whispers. 
He places his palm on the ground beside you, he is closer now, closer than he had been in a while. His nike’s bump against your black converse, his fingertips graze against yours and the urge to feel his whole hand on top of yours is so strong. 
You look down, eying his knuckles, eyeing the scar. You know where it came from, you still ask, “what’s that?” 
He furrows his brows at your question, then follows your gaze to see what you are looking at. 
“Oh,” he mumbles. 
“I know where you got it from but, how did it happen?” 
You avoid his eyes this time. You never thanked him for what he did. It’s something that 
Steve doesn’t even expect from you, it’s not something you have to thank him for. 
He scratches the back of his neck, “uh well, apparently Ray is a fan of pocket knives,” he laughs. 
Your eyes widen and you stare at him in shock as your heart leaps to your throat. 
“What?” You gasp. 
Eddie told you some things but you know that he left a lot of details out. He didn’t want you to worry. 
Fear flashes in your features and you instinctively reach for his hand. The thought that something worse could have happened to him and to Eddie makes you feel so guilty. 
“It’s fine,” he whispers.
The worry in your eyes makes his heart flutter in his chest. 
You still care about him, you always will. He looks down at your hand, your touch is making his skin tingle and a smile tugs at his lips when he remembers all the times he was able to just take your hand and hold it without a second thought, without having to worry about anything, without having to feel guilty, without feeling like he’s doing some forbidden thing. 
He can’t just hold your hand now, not anymore. 
Not even when she – “No, it’s not! Something worse could’ve happened, Steve–”
“But it didn’t,” he says, interrupting you, “nothing happened to us. We’re fine. Please just, let’s drop this, y/n.”
“But–”
“No buts, I’m not here to talk about that asshole. What’s done is done, let’s leave it in the past, okay?”
Oh, how easy everything could be if that was possible. 
You begrudgingly drop the subject when he keeps interrupting you, not wanting to talk about it. When you try to pull your hand away, he stops you and holds it tighter – you let him. 
You lean your head back and take a good look at him. His hair has grown longer and there is a kindness in his eyes that had been missing in the last few months of your relationship. His touch feels more gentle, his presence makes you feel calm instead of anxious, he seems like the old Steve – the one who still loved you. 
She brought him back, she did something that you could not do. 
You weren’t good enough for that – he did not want to change for you. 
“Does she know that you’re here?”
He tenses up a little and for a moment, he frowns. 
“She wouldn’t care.”
What?
“She wouldn’t care that you’re spending time with your ex girlfriend?” You ask, confused. 
“No,” he says, cringing at the word ‘ex girlfriend’.
You don’t believe it, you can’t believe it, especially not after the way she talked about you after he had dumped you for her. Clearly, she can’t stand you and the thought of her not having a problem with her boyfriend hanging out with you, just seems a little too weird to you.
You would have a problem with that. 
“Okay,” you mumble under your breath. 
“Is everything okay between the two of you?” You ask, still looking down to hide your eyeroll. You don’t really want to hear him talk about his relationship but, you can’t help but feel a little curious. You know that the pain in his eyes isn’t for nothing. 
He hesitates and he tenses up, yet again. You feel it in his touch. 
“Yeah.”
“I know when you’re lying,” you mumble, glancing up at him to see him looking away. 
The chuckle that falls from his lips, isn’t one of amusement. He glances up at the darkening sky.
“I-I just, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“What do you mean?” You frown. 
As he looks back into your eyes, he sees everything that he is looking for – everything that he can never find in her eyes. 
“She is not you.”
For a moment, your heart stops beating, your blood stops pumping, the world stops spinning. Everything stops. 
How can he say such a thing? 
“She’s not the one that I want.”
How can he say this to you after he had told you that he fell in love with her? That he never loved you? 
How can he say this when he looks so happy with her? 
How can he say this when you had asked him to let you go? 
“Steve.”
“I know,” he whispers, frowning at the ground, “I know, I’m sorry. I-I made a mistake and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
You hate the way your heart flutters despite the pain it’s in, right now. 
You hate the way you wonder about how things could’ve been if you never let him go so easily. 
You hate the way you feel so little again, the way you just let his words get to you, the way they are able to make you feel sad instead of angry. 
You feel like a fool again, the same fool who forgave him over and over again. 
“We both did.” Those three words spill from your lips before you can stop them. 
You feel stupid, you instantly feel so so stupid. You miss the anger, the coldness – the one that never let him back in. 
He looks up, a bewildered look on his face as he stares at you in shock and confusion. 
“What?”
“We both made mistakes.”
He shakes his head, you had never seen such a deep frown in his features, his lips are pursed as he tries to come up with words but he can only stare at you with a questioning look in his eyes. 
You blink, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the nervous feeling that is building up more and more. 
“I-I just,” you pause to take a deep breath, to give yourself the chance to say something that won’t ruin everything again but, something pushes you to say this, “I keep wondering how things could’ve been if I never let you go, how it would’ve been if I just fought for you.”
He whispers your name as he stares at you with eyes that soften the longer he looks at you. 
“I-I never did, I just let you go. I keep thinking about that night at Tina’s party. You spilled that stupid red wine on you that you didn’t even like.”
Steve nods slowly. He feels the bitterness on his tongue, the taste of the sour wine still lingers when he thinks about how much he had drank from it to gain more courage, to make it easier to lie to you, to break your heart. 
“You told me that you weren’t in love with me anymore and I just, I said ‘okay’ and then I left and that’s all.” 
You look back at him with glossy eyes and a frown on your lips. 
“Don’t put the blame on yourself,” he says in anger for himself, “I was the one who lied to you, I was the one who fucked up. Not you, y/n. Never you.” 
“But–”
“No!” He shakes his head, “stop it, where’s this even coming from?”
You shrug and it only confuses him further. 
“Would you have stayed with me if I didn’t let you go?” You ask, “if I fought for you?”
He feels ashamed, he feels guilty and so horrible. 
“Yeah,” he whispers, “I would have stayed with you.” Because this is what he wanted. He wanted you to fight for him, he wanted you to make him stay. 
You know that he is honest and it breaks your heart again. 
“But you shouldn’t have, it wasn’t your job to fight for me. I should have fought for you. You should’ve been the one to leave, not me.”
“What?”
“I was a fucking asshole, y/n. I was an asshole to you, every day of our relationship, I kept fucking up, over and over again and you tolerated it, you never left me. You never got mad at me, you never said anything rude, you never did anything bad, you were – fuck, you were perfect, you are perfect,” he holds your hand tighter.
The tear that rolls down your cheek is quickly wiped away with his thumb.
“And I’m sorry, I am so fucking sorry for what I did to you.” 
He hates the way your eyes continue to well up with tears. He hates the way your bottom lip quivers as you try to not break down. He hates the way you are still hurting because of him. 
“Steve,” you whisper, not wanting to hear his apologies anymore. 
He shakes his head, stubbornly. 
“I’m not just saying sorry for leaving you, for choosing her over you. It’s not just that.”
You sniffle quietly and you press your knees to your chest. Your hand is still in his and you don’t make any moves to pull it away. 
“I’m sorry that I acted like I wasn’t interested in the things you loved doing. I’m sorry that I didn’t show you how much I really loved you. I’m sorry that I didn’t hold you enough, that I didn’t kiss you the way you should have been kissed, that I didn’t take care of you.” 
You start crying before you can stop yourself from doing so. 
“I should have held you that night. God, I hate myself for what I did to you that night. You cried a-and I-I didn’t do anything, I just listened to you cry.”
You close your eyes when your vision blurs. Your heart drops to your stomach and a sick feeling rushes through you. 
You didn’t know that he was awake, you always thought that he fell asleep before you broke down. But he was awake and he heard you. He was awake and he listened to your cries, he just listened and kept his back turned to you when you needed him to just fucking hold you. 
Steve watches the tears rolling down your cheeks, one after the other. 
Back then, he could’ve just pulled you into his arms. He could’ve hugged you, he could’ve held you but he never did – now he wants to so badly but now, he can’t. 
He sees how much you are struggling, he sees how hurt you still are. All these months, he thought that you had moved on, that you had left him in the past, that you had forgotten about the pain. But he was so wrong about everything. 
You have not moved on, you have not left him in the past and you especially, have not forgotten about the pain that he had put you through. 
The girl he knew is still in there just like the boy you once knew is still in him. 
You both changed but, you are also both still the same. 
“I should have given you the locket,” he whispers as he turns your hand around and places the little box into your palm, “I shouldn’t have given you the fucking bracelet that you never wanted.”
To see you cry will always hurt. To know that he is to blame for your pain, will always make him hate himself. To see the way you look at him with so much sadness and still so much love in your eyes will always make his chest burn with regret. 
Your brows are pulled together, your lips are parted and you look down at the box with big eyes. 
You pull your hand away from his and you wipe your tears before you open it after a moment of hesitation. A tear drops on the beautiful locket that you have fallen in love with a year back. 
A present that would have brought you joy back then, only makes you sad now. 
He could’ve seen a smile on your face. He could’ve seen happiness in your eyes. He could’ve heard you squeal in excitement. 
He could’ve. 
You stare at it, a minute passes and then another, you stare at it in silence. 
“I-I didn’t put anything in there,” he mumbles, pointing to the locket, “I know you always wanted a picture of us in there but uh – I figured you wouldn’t want that anymore.” 
You take it out of the box, the heart shaped locket is engraved with little flowers – it’s beautiful. Despite the sadness and the anger that is buried deep somewhere, you smile. 
It’s something that Steve did not expect. The thought of gifting you the little piece that you have wanted for so long after he left made him anxious, it was a last minute decision – this was not the gift he wanted to give you but it’s something that he found when he took his room apart while searching for a box to put the original gift in. This is what you wanted. 
You wanted it for your last birthday but instead he put a bracelet around your wrist, one that you did not wish for. You still loved it, you still smiled brightly and stared at it as though it was the prettiest thing you had ever seen. 
He bought the locket three days before he left you, he intended to give it to you after Halloween but it all went wrong. 
Everything went wrong after that night. 
He chose her and you chose to act like he didn’t exist anymore which is something he isn’t mad at anymore, you should have done worse. 
You gave him the cold shoulder, the glares, the snarky replies whenever he talked to you, whether it was about the essay you had worked on together or something else. You were mean, dismissive and cold. It went on like that for two months until that night when you had parted ways after the party at Jimmy’s place. After that you just seemed unbothered by his presence, like he didn’t matter anymore.
Now you are showing him a side that he does not deserve to see – the vulnerable, loving side that he only got when you were still his. 
He hates that you think that you should have fought for him. He never deserved it. He never deserved you. 
He prefers it when you hate him – he deserves that more than your love. 
You are silent for the longest time, just staring at the locket in your hand and he watches you with a bitter taste on his tongue and a deep sadness in his eyes. 
“Thank you, Stevie.”
It’s been a long time since you called him that. 
You lift your head and turn to look at him, your eyes meet and he smiles. 
“You’re welcome, y/n.”
The smile that you give him makes him realize just how much he truly misses you. 
He misses the sound of your giggle, he misses the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he misses the way you would smile into the kisses, he misses the way it feels to hold you, he misses being with you. God, he misses you. 
You look down and with a heavy sigh, you push yourself up, “I-I should go inside.”
The disappointment that rushes through him is deep, he doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to say goodbye again, he doesn’t want to go back to a love that is forced. 
“Yeah,” he breathes, getting up as well. 
For a moment, you stand in front of each other, not moving, not looking away from one another. His hands itch for your touch and you long to feel his arms around you. 
Should you tell him how much you miss him? 
Should you hug him?
Should you tell him how he haunts you in your memories? 
His hair looks soft beneath the dim porch light, his eyes even softer as he stares at you, his lips – stop. You curse at yourself for letting your mind go there. He is not yours, he belongs to someone else. 
Steve sees the way you look at him; it’s still the same. 
And that little moment is enough for him to make a decision. 
“Goodbye,” you whisper. 
He hesitates. 
Once again, he finds himself here, not wanting to say goodbye to you.
“Goodbye.”
You tear your eyes away from him, you look down and walk towards your door. You lift your hand, reaching for the doorknob when you feel his fingers closing in around your wrist. 
“Hey,” he says softly. 
You’re met with a smile when you look back again. 
“Happy birthday, dolly.”
A breathy chuckle falls from your lips and you smile, “thank you.”
Last year he would have kissed you. 
This year he can’t even hug you.
You turn back around and he watches you hesitate, his hand is still holding your wrist and you turn to him once again. You let go of his hand and you lift the sleeve of your sweatshirt to show him something. 
The dainty pearls around your wrist make his eyes widen. 
“I love the bracelet, by the way,” you say with a smile before you walk into your house, leaving him standing on your porch. 
The warmth in his stomach is only there because of you, because of the love you still got for him – and even if you had no love for him anymore, he would still feel it. You could break his heart into a million pieces and Steve Harrington would still love you more than anything else in this world. 
He can push you out of his life, he can try to fall in love with someone else, he can replace you with another girl but no one will ever be you. 
No one will ever make him feel the things that you make him feel. No one can make his heart race the way you do. No one can make him feel so safe and loved despite the distance, no one but you. 
It’s always you, it’s always been you, it’ll always be you. 
There is no point to be with someone he can never love the way he loves you. There is no point in being with someone who could never love him the way you loved him.
It’s all just pointless, everything that has happened since Halloween night is pointless. 
His mind is filled with thoughts, ones that keep him so distracted that he doesn’t even notice that the light in his bedroom is on. Only when he steps into his room and he notices his girlfriend sitting on his bed, does he realize that he is not alone tonight, like he wanted to be. 
He instantly notices the frown on her face, the crossed arms and a look of anger in her eyes.
“Nance,” he mumbles with furrowed brows, confused by her presence. 
He takes a look around his room to find it a mess, messier than it was before. Books, clothes and notes are scattered all over the carpet, an open box lying on the floor, pictures of you and him spilling out of it. Your green scrunchie from cheer practice lying on the sweater that belongs to him, one that he had put into the box because it was basically yours, it smelled like you, it probably still does. 
Realization floods through him, but there is no ounce of fear inside of him. He isn’t scared of what is about to happen.
Nancy is holding one of the many notes and she looks at him in disbelief, scoffing as she holds it up for him to see. 
“I’ll throw it away later, huh?” She asks, mocking him. 
He doesn’t have to take a closer look to know which note it is. It’s the one she found in his car a few months ago, the one he promised to throw away.
He doesn’t know what to say so he just stands there and looks at her, trying to figure out what she is feeling right now. 
She is not hurt, he knows she isn’t, just angry. 
Her eyes have strayed away from him just a few weeks after he left you for her. The moment Jonathan stepped into her life, her heart was no longer his, she gave it to her supposed new friend. 
He saw the stolen glances, the lingering touches. He knew about the secret meetups, he knew about what she did when they had decided on taking a break. But, he never said anything, he never did anything about it. He tolerated it because he thought that he deserved it. 
She did the same thing that he did to you, just so much worse. At least, he had never slept with anyone else, he had never kissed anyone else. 
Everything that she did in the course of their relationship is something that he was afraid of you doing to him. He was stupid for even thinking that. You would never do that to him. 
“I wish I could say that I’m surprised,” Nancy mumbles, throwing the note on the ground, “but I’m not.” 
Nancy isn’t blind and she isn’t stupid either, she always knew where his mind was at when he was with her, when he kissed her, when he touched her, when he slept with her. He was thinking about you, all the time. 
When she came over tonight, she didn’t expect to walk into an empty house or the mess that he had left in his room. She waited and waited and he didn’t come so she decided to keep herself busy. She began to clean his room, she organized his desk, dusted his furniture and put away his clean sweaters into the closet when she had found that box. Normally, she wouldn’t have opened it but curiosity got the best of her and now she feels relieved that she had done it, despite the sinking feeling in her stomach. 
Steve is calm, that’s something he had never been when he had gotten into fights with you. 
“Are you not gonna say anything?” 
Steve walks further into the room, he looks down at the things that belong to you, the things that he should’ve never put away in the first place. 
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Nancy.”
She tilts her head as she looks up at him, “you lied to me.” 
He nods. He lifts his hand and runs it through his hair. 
“Yeah, I did,” he admits, “I lied to you.” 
He lied when he said that he moved on from you. He lied when he told her that he loves her. He lied so many times and still, he tried to be good for her because he really wanted to try and be with her. 
“Do you love her?” She asks, already knowing the answer. 
Steve doesn’t even hesitate, he is done lying.  
“Yes.”
Hurt flashes in her eyes and he doesn’t even understand why – he is not the one that she wants. 
“Was it all just a lie then?” She asks, throwing her hands up. 
He shakes his head. No. It wasn’t all a lie, only his feelings, they were a lie, his love for her, that was a lie. 
He likes her, he always did. He liked spending time with her, he liked taking her out on dates, he liked studying with her and taking her to the movies afterwards but that’s all it was, he liked it. 
“No.” 
“God,” she breathes, “you’re so full of shit, Steve.” 
Her eyes that held pain and disbelief are now filled with anger and rage. 
“It wasn’t a lie?” She asks, stepping closer to him. 
As he looks down at her, he notices that he isn’t scared of what she is about to say. He isn’t scared that the relationship will be ruined after what words will spill from her mouth. He isn’t scared of what he will feel once she’s gone because, even when she leaves, his heart won’t be broken. 
No one can break his heart, no one but you. 
“No, I really liked you, Nancy.” 
She nods, her eyes widen and she purses her lips as she looks at him through her lashes- angrily. 
“Liked,” she says with such distaste in her voice. She takes a look around the messy room, she takes a look at the things on the ground, your things. “This is such bullshit.” 
Steve tenses up at her words, a cold shiver runs down his spine as he looks at her. 
“Why did you – why did we even get together?” 
He doesn’t know, he won’t be able to give her an answer, he doesn’t even have it himself. 
“Why did you leave her when you clearly still loved her?” She asks, raising her voice as she begins to pace around his room, kicking away the book that once belonged to you, one that he never gave back. “Why did you lie to me and say that you didn’t love her?”
He closes his eyes and clenches his jaw. 
“Why did you tell me that you love me when it was all bullshit?” Nancy asks and suddenly halts in her tracks when she realizes that she did just the same. She told him that she loved him when her heart was somewhere else. “You know what, this is all bullshit.” 
“Nance,” Steve mumbles as he opens his eyes. He looks down at the ground. He can’t stand to hear these words again, it will always take him back to the night in your room, when he had almost kissed you, when he told you that he still loves you. 
“No!” 
She turns around to face him, she points her finger at him. 
“Let’s not fight.” He raises his hands up, trying to get her to calm down. “I don’t–”
“This whole relationship was bullshit, Steve! W-We kept acting like we’re in love when we–”
“When we aren’t in love?” He asks calmly, eyeing her slumped shoulders and the defeat in her eyes when she realizes that there is no use to fight. 
She doesn’t want to admit it, still worried about hurting him when she knows that no one could hurt him, no one but you. She looks at him, she takes in the sight of him. He is calm, even after what he found out a few days back. 
Suddenly, Nancy feels like a hypocrite for doing this to him. For taking his room apart, for getting upset over your stuff in his closet, for confronting him like this, for yelling at him when she was the one who got caught kissing someone else – she got caught by him and unlike her, he didn’t get mad, he just accepted it and then acted like nothing happened. 
Just like you always did. 
“Where were you tonight?” 
He doesn’t know why she is asking him that, they both know that this is the end. 
“I was with y/n. Her birthday is tomorrow. We have always spent the night before together, ever since we were little kids.” 
She raises her brows and nods, still feeling bitter about it, despite everything. 
“And you?” He asks, tilting his head, “where have you been? I dropped by your house earlier tonight and you weren’t home. Where were you?” 
Once again, she breaks eye contact, too ashamed to give him the real answer. 
Steve can tell the truth now. She can’t. 
But he is done with this, with everything. 
He sighs and he walks closer to her. 
Nancy crosses her arms over her chest, she bites down on her lip nervously. 
She is struggling to tell him the truth but he wants her to know that it’s okay. 
“Nancy, look at me.” 
He takes her hand in his, ignoring the way it feels so wrong to hold hers after yours. 
“Please.”
She looks up at him. 
Blue eyes filled with guilt meet the warm hazel ones, the one filled with sadness but also with calmness. 
“I know what happened with you and Jonathan, back in december,” he mumbles, trying not to roll his eyes.
“Steve..”
“It’s okay, Nance,” he whispers, squeezing her hand, “it’s okay.” 
“You should be with him.” 
Her brows snap together, her lips part in surprise. She blinks, staring up at him with confusion in her eyes. 
“We’re not right for each other,” he whispers, “you love him and I love her – and I can’t be with her but you can be with him.” 
Her eyes soften and the tension slowly leaves her body. She still feels guilty, for more than one reason. 
“It’s enough if one of us is miserable,” Steve says, trying to crack a joke. 
The smile on her face is forced. 
“We both know that this isn’t working, Nance. We keep pretending, we keep lying to each other, we keep acting like we’re happy with each other when we’re not. This needs to stop.” 
Her eyes well up with tears but she agrees with him. 
“Yeah,” she whispers and slowly removes her hand from his. 
“So this is it?” She asks, lifting one shoulder as she gives him a look of uncertainty. 
“Yes,” he nods, “this is it.”
“Okay,” she whispers. 
Both of them felt it coming. It’s been tense between them for weeks now, ever since the night you had called him.
When he and Eddie went after Ray and he walked out of the fight with injuries, with bruises on his temple and his knuckles, he had to lie to her to avoid the truth. She didn’t believe him when he said that a few guys from the basketball team had attacked him so she kept pressing him for answers, she wanted the truth, the truth that she never got. 
To this day, she doesn’t know what really happened. 
That put another dent into their relationship. 
But her lies were so much bigger and crueler than his. 
Still, he tried. He took her out on more dates than usual but both of them forced their happiness, their love and even their smiles. It was all forced. 
A heavy sigh falls from her lips, she wipes away the tear that fell down her cheek. 
“I-I guess I’m gonna go.”
He nods. 
They both take one final look at each other. Both of them knew that this would happen but neither of them thought that it would happen this soon. 
“I’ll drive you home.”
She shakes her head, “I took my mom’s car, didn’t you see it in the driveway?” She asks. 
“Oh,” he scratches the back of his neck. He didn’t see it, he didn’t really notice anything, his mind was with you, “right.” 
“Yeah, uh.. I guess I’ll see you around?” 
“Yeah, see you around.” 
The moment she leaves and he hears the front door slamming, he feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders but at the same time, he feels this grief inside of him because he knows that now, he is truly all alone. 
His parents are gone. 
Tommy is gone. 
You are gone. 
And now, she is gone too and there is no one he can distract himself with anymore.
He is all on his own now. 
He drops down on his bed and he looks at the mess in his room. He stares at your things. Something shiny that glistens beneath the light in his room catches his attention. He leans down to pick it up. It’s your hair pin, the one that you wore on your birthday last year. 
He feels the coil in his throat, the sickening feeling when he thinks about what happened when he came back to you after he left you all alone on your birthday. 
He drank at Tina’s party, he drank so much, he was miserable without you, he was angry at himself for the way he treated you, for the way he had been treating you for weeks prior to your birthday. 
He didn’t party, he didn’t dance, he didn’t laugh, he didn’t even spend time with Tommy. He only drank until the bitter taste of whiskey made him feel sick and long for you. Without saying goodbye to his friends, he left and walked across town to your place. 
It was 11pm by the time he got there, he sneaked into your room to find you in the same state as him. You were sitting on your floor with a half empty bottle of whiskey, you were crying and staring blankly at the TV screen. 
“You gotta stop leaving your window open,” he said, startling you. 
Your head snapped towards him, your glossy eyes widened and you instantly put the bottle down, you jumped up. 
You stood there and stared at him with tears rolling down your cheeks. 
“I-I always leave it open for you,” you said with a shaky voice.
It was his fault. 
He hurt you on your birthday and he came over to fix it but he only made it worse. 
He kissed you. He kissed you so deeply and passionately the way he had never usually done anymore. He took your clothes off and you helped him out of his, before you both made your way over to your bed. 
He kissed all over your face, he kissed your neck, your chest. 
He intertwined your fingers together. 
He praised you. 
He told you how much he loved you. 
He made love to you that night – it was soft, sweet and perfect. And he didn’t realize just how much it was hurting you that he was doing that while he was drunk, while you were both drunk. That he was showing you a vulnerable and loving side after all the alcohol he consumed. That he was giving you something that he never gave you while sober. 
He gave you everything in that moment and then, he took it all away again when he pushed you off of him after you tried to lay your head on his chest. He pushed you off and he didn’t bother to look at you, he didn’t bother to look at the shocked and hurt look in your eyes when he turned his back to you. 
He pushed your hand off when you tried to hug him once again. 
He pushed you away twice. 
“Steve,” you whispered with a shaky voice. He knew you were on the verge of tears, he knew you were about to cry. 
You touched his arm, softly, carefully. 
“Don’t.” Is all he said to you as he shrugged your hand off. 
He heard your sniffle and the rustling of the sheets as you pulled away from him. You turned away from him too and you waited, you waited until you thought that he had fallen asleep before you broke down again that night. 
You tried to be quiet but you couldn’t, you cried. 
You cried and he did nothing. He just laid there, blinking away his own tears as he looked out the window, asking himself why he couldn’t just hold you. He listened to you cry and he did nothing, not even when his mind was screaming at him to just turn around and pull you into his arms. 
When your sniffles died down and he was sure that you had cried yourself to sleep, he did something that he couldn’t do while you were still awake. 
He turned around and he wrapped his arm around you.
-
“Are you ever gonna tell me where you’re taking me?” 
Eddie shakes his head, flashing you a smile. 
“Nope.” 
You chuckle and lean back, you look out the window. 
Eddie doesn’t know what day it is and you feel relieved about it. You will forever continue to be dramatic about your birthday, you like to pretend that this day doesn’t exist – which is impossible considering your family and friends know about it. 
“Are you hungry?” Eddie asks, “cause I’m hungry.” 
You hesitate and Eddie narrows his eyes to look at you. You lean forward, turning the volume up when your favorite Metallica song comes on. He knows what you are trying to do.
“I ate earlier.” 
“Ah, what did you eat, sweetheart?” 
Birthday cake. Your mom made it. 
“Toast.”
“That’s all?” He gasps. 
“It’s only 6 in the evening!” 
“Yeah and you only had breakfast!” 
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“Y/n,” he sighs. 
“Eddie,” you sigh, giving him a sweet smile. 
A look of disapproval crosses his face, he shakes his head at you. 
“I’m gonna make you dinner.” 
You snort when you look out the window. You are far from the trailer park and from your house. He picked you up in the afternoon and took you to the movies the way he wanted to the night before. 
He didn’t ask what you did last night and he didn’t ask where you had gotten the necklace from, the one that is now around your neck. 
He knows everything without having to ask and you don’t even know that he is aware of things that you are trying to keep a secret. 
When Eddie pulls up to the quarry, you look at him in confusion, “uh the quarry?” You ask, “what are we doing here?” 
You’d hung out at Lovers Lake, Skull rock, Lake Jordan and even at the hidden lake in the woods but you had never come out here. 
As you look around, you wonder why you haven’t been here before. It’s quiet with no people around, it’s a beautiful spot to come out here whenever you need a moment to yourself. 
The sun is shining down on the blue water, it looks good enough to jump in but it’s still not warm enough to take a swim.  
“Well, it’s about time we find new hangout spots!” He says with a grin. He turns off the engine and it falls silent between the two of you when the music stops playing. 
“Ready to get high, sweetheart?” 
You chuckle, “yes.”
He gets out of the van and you follow suit. Smoothing down your dress, you reach for your jacket before you close the door. 
Eddie walks around the van, bowing down before you, he offers you his hand. 
Giggling, you shake your head as you place your hand in his. 
“Dork.” 
He gives you a proud smirk as he pulls you closer to him, he raises your hand towards his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. 
“Your dork,” he winks. 
You can’t help but laugh, unaware of the blush on your cheeks. 
“Definitely a dork,” you giggle, “a cute dork.”
Eddie wraps his arm around your shoulder, “come on.” 
The confused look on your face makes him smile smugly. That smile should have been enough for you to know. 
You look around, there is nothing but rocks, trees and the huge lake in front of you. Not a single bench in sight, nothing to sit down on but the hard concrete floor, “are we not gonna smoke in the back of your van?” You ask, “where are we supposed to sit?” 
There is an innocent look on his face but his eyes are filled with mischief. 
Maybe he does know about your birthday. Maybe he is mad at you for keeping it a secret. Maybe he is gonna push you into the water for not telling him – that thought makes you want to laugh. Eddie would never do that. 
“You’re not gonna push me into the water are you?” You joke. 
You can’t help but smile at the sound of his laughter and at the way his eyes shine so beautifully when he looks down at you. His curls aren’t as messy as they usually are, he is wearing a new shirt and a new cologne. 
It makes your stomach flip – you don’t know why. 
“You smell good.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirks despite the pounding in his chest. 
You nod. 
“New cologne?” 
“Mhmm.” 
“I like it.”
“You do, huh?” 
“Yes,” you smile. 
The look in his eyes suddenly makes you nervous, you have to look down to avoid the fluttering in your stomach. 
He leads you down to the little bay, one that is surrounded by beautiful pine trees and a secret camping place. He smirks at the sight in front of him and glances down at you to see you still looking down at your shoes, just as you’re about to lift your head up, he grabs you and pulls you against him, holding both hands in front of your eyes. 
“Eddie?” You ask, chuckling. 
He leans his chin on your shoulder and pulls your hair back, “not gonna lie, I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me.”
You frown, “w-what?”
“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he whispers and removes his hands again to reveal his little surprise. 
Your eyes widen, your jaw drops as you look around in confusion and surprise. 
There is a campfire, logs surrounding it, a boombox perched on one of the tree trunks. Coolers and snacks, along with a birthday cake that Robin is holding up with a grin on her face. 
Your friends are here, well, most of them. 
Heather, Chrissy and Robin are standing next to each other looking at you in excitement. Gareth, Jeff and Grant are wearing party hats, the sight of them makes you giggle. 
“Surprise!” 
“Happy birthday!” 
“Oh my god, are you kidding?” You laugh, clapping your hands together. 
“Happy birthday!” Chrissy squeals, being the first to run towards you and pull you into a tight hug. “I’ve been waiting for this all day!” 
You wrap your arms around her, “thank you, Chris,” you giggle, closing your eyes as you hug her back just as tight. Heather joins the two of you, hugging you from behind, she kisses your cheek. 
“Happy birthday, babe,” she grins as though she hasn’t been the first to call this morning, pulling you out of your deep slumber. 
“Can I join you girls?” Gareth asks, wiggling his brows at Heather who flips him off. 
“No boys in a girls group hug,” Chrissy says to him. 
“I can’t wait to give you my present, y/n!” Jeff grins as he is the next to hug you. 
“What did you get her, Jeff?” Gareth asks, “a poster of Eddie?” 
Grant bursts into laughter and so does Gareth, proud of his own joke. 
Eddie rolls his eyes with a blush on his cheeks. 
“C’mere, birthday girl!” Robin says to you, stealing you from Jeff, she kisses your cheek, “I can’t believe you thought that you could keep this from us!” 
“I can’t believe you guys are throwing a party for me,” you say, blushing. 
“That was Eddie’s idea,” she smiles, winking at you. 
Huffing, you turn away from her to hide the flustered look on your face. Eddie stands there with a smile, watching you interact with your friends before your attention strays back to him and your soft eyes lock with his. 
“Let’s party, guys!” Gareth claps his hands together, walking away from the group. 
Grant walks over to the boom box to put on some music. Jeff gives Eddie a sheepish smile, “I’ll get the drinks.”
“I’ll help!” Heather says, following him. 
That only leaves Robin and Chrissy who are still looking between you and Eddie before they look at one another. Robin smiles down at the blonde, “wanna help?” She asks, wanting to give the two of you some privacy. 
Chrissy’s brows furrow, she stares up at the tall girl. 
“With the drinks, I-I mean,” Robin mumbles. 
“Oh!” Chrissy giggles, “yeah, let’s go.” 
You and Eddie don’t notice the two blushing girls, you are too busy looking at each other.
“How did you know that it’s my birthday?” 
“I asked your mom,” he responds, quirking a brow as he looks up at the sky, “like, back in december.” 
Your eyes soften. 
He asked your mom about your birthday?
“Eddie,” you whisper, unable to stop yourself from throwing your arms around him. You lay your head on his warm chest, “you are the sweetest.”
His chest rumbles as he laughs at your words, hugging you tightly. 
“That title belongs to you.” 
“You didn’t have to do all this,” you mumble into his chest, “not for me.”
Eddie frowns at your words and he squeezes your arms. There is nothing that he wouldn’t do for you. 
“Sweetheart, you’re the only one I’d do this for,” he whispers before he places a kiss on the top of your head. 
You lift your head up and you look into his eyes with a smile, “thank you, Eddie.”
“You’re welcome.” He tucks a loose strand behind your ear. “I got something for you.”
“More?” You ask surprised. 
He chuckles, “yeah, come on,” he whispers. 
You follow him without question, letting him lead you down to the water for a little more privacy. 
The sound of music fills the air, drowning out the voice of the crickets and your friends chatter.
“You’re spoiling me today,” you giggle. 
“Gotta spoil my best friend,” he winks at you before he takes both of your hands and turns you around so you’re both facing each other again. “I got a feeling that your friends won’t let me have a moment with you alone so,” he pauses as he lets go of one of your hands, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a little bag, one that is in colorful wrapping paper, “you’re getting this now.”
“Another birthday present?” 
“Of course,” he chuckles, “I’ve only been waiting for months to give it to you,” he says dramatically with an eyeroll. 
“Months?” You gasp. 
“Yeah, months!” 
You giggle, looking down at the little present in your hands. You unwrap it quickly and eagerly. 
Eddie laughs but watches you in anticipation. 
You scrunch up the wrapping paper and push it into his hands, making him laugh again. He stuffs it back inside of his leather jacket. 
You open the bag and gasp, “oh my god!” You squeal, jumping in excitement, “no way, Eddie!” 
You reach for the ring. The skull ring that you have seen in the window at the Gothic shop that you passed by when you spent a weekend in Indianapolis, back in February. 
“Where’s the other one?” You ask, knowing that it’s a set. 
He grins at you, motioning you to put the ring on your finger before he picks the matching one out of his pocket, showing it to you. “I’ve been waiting to finally wear it!” 
“Put it on!” 
He chuckles at your excitement, unable to fight the grin off of his face, he puts the ring on his finger and holds his hand out to you. 
“We’re matching!” You smile as you eye the ring on yours and his finger, “I love it so much, Eddie!” 
“That makes me happy, sweetheart.” 
He might not be able to give you expensive lockets or bracelets but, he still gets to make you smile and that is enough, for now. 
You cup his cheeks and stand on your tiptoes to give him a kiss on his cheek. 
His cheeks heat up at the feeling of your lips on his skin. 
“Thank you,” you whisper again. 
He can’t help but place a kiss on your cheek as well, making you giggle again. Neither of you notice the flash of the camera going off.
You are happy, you are smiling and this is all he wanted to see. He wanted to see you happy, especially tonight. After all your horrible birthdays, he wanted to give you one that you can look back on and smile instead of thinking of it with a heavy feeling in your chest. 
So he tries to make it as memorable as possible so it may be able to put a shadow over all the bad ones that you have had. 
And the night is perfect, this birthday is perfect. 
You laugh with your friends, you share a joint and you get tipsy from all the mixed drinks. You make s’mores and listen to your favorite songs. 
You unwrap the presents your friends had gotten you – including Dustin’s present who wasn’t allowed to this party. He of course got you a Hellfire shirt, the very persistent boy has been trying to get you to join their club for months now. 
And when it’s time for your cake, you can’t help but giggle when the guys sing out of chorus. 
“Who made this cake?” You ask after blowing out the candles. 
“Uh, the store!” Robin says, sheepishly as she gives you a crooked grin. 
“I tried baking one myself,” Eddie says next to you, “I almost ended up without a home.” 
“Wait what?” You ask, laughing but holding your hand to your chest, giving him a pout. He even tried to bake a cake for you. 
“I’m surprised you had a fire extinguisher at your place,” Robin jokes. 
Eddie clutches his chest, giving her a glare, “I’m insulted, Buckley.”
“You could live with me,” you giggle, leaning your head on his shoulder. 
He looks down at you with a smile while everyone else shares a look. 
Chrissy, who has a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, looks at Robin, who sits back down next to Gareth. Feeling eyes on her, she lifts her head to catch the pretty cheerleader staring at her. 
It’s dark out and the only light surrounding the group is the campfire. That is enough to make the red cheeks very visible, on both girls. 
Jeff glances at the matching rings on yours and Eddie’s hands.
“Nice rings, why didn’t you invite us to the wedding?” He asks, wiggling his brows at the two of you. 
“Did the invitation get lost in the mail?” Eddie chuckles, “sorry about that.” 
Gareth gasps, clutching his beer tightly to his chest, “you’re not pregnant with a Munson baby, are you y/n?” He smirks. 
You put your hand on your stomach, “oh yes, I’m having quadruplets!” 
“Oh my god, y/n!” Heather snorts, “stop joking about it or you’re actually getting them someday!” 
Eddie wraps his arm around your shoulder, “yeah so? We’re having our own band, the new Corroded Coffin.”
“No!” Grant almost yells. 
You and Eddie laugh at his sudden outburst. 
Chrissy and Robin fade out the conversation around them, their eyes are locked and the only sounds they hear is the crackling of the fire and their pounding hearts. 
As they are unable to keep their eyes off of each other, you and Eddie are unable to move away from one another. 
He puts a blanket around you when the night gets colder and you still scoot closer to him, reaching for his hand in search of more warmth and when he kisses the top of your head, a new pair of eyes catches sight of you with him.  
Steve didn’t plan to show up at your party. 
Despite how well things had gone between the two of you the night before, he still didn’t want to intrude, knowing that he isn’t welcome here. 
But he wanted to see you, even if just from afar, he wanted to see you and make sure that you are having a nice time, that you are having a better birthday, a better night than you have had in the year before. 
So, he showed up at your party. 
But he did not expect to see you in Eddie’s arms – not like this. 
He sees you smile and even though it breaks his heart to see you with him, he can walk away with a calm feeling in his chest because he gets to know that this night won't end for you in tears this time.
But for him, it does. 
-
tagging friends & mutuals!
@mysticmunson @taintedcigs @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @screammunson @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfiregirlxx @nemesis729 @somethingvicked @sherrylyn628 @chrissymjstan
982 notes · View notes
mithliya · 2 years ago
Note
For real… Im more disturbed and scared of what I don’t remember and it’s clearly not safe for me to feel the feelings and it’s so traumatizing that my brain is protecting me… I remember being sexually assaulted ONCE as a child but sense it happened more… but I can’t remember. I remember a scary voice in one memory and I remember feeling scared… that’s it. Then one where in asked to do something and start crying and all I can remember is black and I feel really scared….
It makes me anxious even typing that….
I’ve feared doing EMDR even though I’ve been assured there’s no point searching for lost memories like that.
If you don’t remember something there’s a reason our brains out powerful are helping us survive and protecting us from feeling pain. Some feelings are physically painful and it’s not beneficial to be crippled over something from the past… the mind splits and blocks things off for a reason…
Honestly though it makes me sick knowing/thinking how things that are so painful that we block out men jerk off to, and we are only accused of lying because it activates men’s shame… they get off to our pain, so they invalidate it.
Men are evil, and not particularly intelligent. They confuse being brutes with being smart and superior. Even though they’re quite literally all meet the qualifications of being at risk for others I wish we could lock them all up till.
I’m sorry you were pressured.
My brain doesn’t have a problem pulling up/remembering like it was yesterday, sexual experiences that were consensual and felt loving… I think our minds do want to heal like why would you want to remember and relive a horror? Of course you don’t remember it sounds nasty, Anon you’re nasty; I wonder if they’ve ever pressured anyone, someone has a guilty conscious perhaps (lmao my abuser said k had a guilty conscious; men are projecting 24/7 it come with their narcissistic ways. Men are liars. If their lips are moving then they are lying. They lie about being child molesters and rapists and these same men call women liars. Deep down everyone knows this to be true. )
im so sorry that happened to you. honestly i can relate somewhat bc when i didnt remember a lot of my trauma id sometimes feel terrified like... what happened to me that i dont know of? and when im in that mindset it can really feel scary to me knowing i dont actually know the full extent of what i went thru.
i dont believe ive ever done EMDR but i did do another form of trauma therapy and i couldn't handle it. we hadn't even addressed the trauma itself but rather my life before & after it and it was too much.
but yeah definitely our minds are probably just protecting us. what i do remember and the things i remembered recently that i had forgotten before have only horrified me further and disturbed me further. id rather remember less than remember it all.
0 notes
marc-spectorr · 2 years ago
Note
J,t,v for the nsfw alphabet
With The moon boys?
i apologize for going overboard with this one theres literally 1k words here 🌝
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
steven: there have been one or two times where steven needed to relieve himself at work after seeing the spicy photos you’d sent to him as a tease. the second his break starts, he's rushing to the restroom that receives the least amount of foot traffic. he locks himself in the furthest stall, quickly fumbling with his pants and boxers as he pulls up the images of you on his phone. he's harshly biting down the collar of his shirt to suppress the moans pouring out of him, his free hand pumping his cock hard and fast until he's spilling all over his palm and fingers. before steven cleans it up though, he shakily takes a picture of the mess he's made and texts it back to you.
marc: marc jerks off seldom. honestly, he'd rather experience an orgasm with you than give himself one bc it's simply not as satisfying. but ofc there would be days when he's away on a mission, and you're not there to take care of him, so he has to do it all on his own. it starts with a phone call, and you can tell almost immediately from his voice how strung up he is. how much he wants and needs you. you guide marc the whole time, telling him exactly what to do and where to touch himself. spit on your hand, tug at your balls, work yourself slow and steady, add a twist on the down stroke just the way you like it, baby— he heeds every instruction given, even if your sultry voice is all but a hazy whisper in his ear. once you order him to cum, that's when he does. and god, it might not feel as amazing as finishing inside of you, but it's close enough.
jake: when the mood suddenly strikes him, and he has no passengers in his taxi, jake will pull into an empty alleyway, shutting the engine and lights off. he doesn't get to see you till later that morning to pick you up at the end of your overnight shift. even then, he won't initiate anything, knowing you're too tired for sex. so jacking off in the car would have to do for now. with his aching cock in his fist, he thinks of the last time he fucked you in this cab. squeezing his eyes shut, he could hear the sounds of your whimpers and pleas in his head as he railed you into those leather seats. it doesn't take long until he reaches his peak, too lost in his pleasure that he almost forgets to grab a tissue from the glove compartment and cums into it. he hates it when he ends up staining his seats.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
steven: expanding more on the steven tiddie worship asks yesterday,,, steven comes home one day and finds a package addressed to you from a sex toy company, and it piqued his interest, to say the least. you don't tell him straight away what it is you'd bought, only finding out later that evening after his clothes have been torn off and he's lying in bed, all whiny and needy. steven's eyes grow wide when you finally show him what you'd purchased— nipple clamps. he feels something cold being fitted securely over his right areola, then his left. a metallic chain rests on his now heaving chest, and he moans at the numbing pressure on his nipples. the sensation leaves steven a writhing mess under you, and he hopes he remembers to thank you afterward for introducing him to this.
marc: soon after marc brought up the idea, you'd quickly place an order for it. a strap-on. pegging was something that took him a lot of courage to ask, and he was quite relieved when you were keen on giving it a try. while waiting for the strap-on to arrive, you spent days prepping him for anal penetration, rimming him, using your fingers and plugs. the sensation was unlike any other, and when it's time for the actual pegging, he loses his goddamn mind. not only did marc find it sexy watching you fuck his peachy ass, but the added stimulation also has him crying out wantonly. in the end, his body is literally left shaking as waves of pleasure overtake him, and he swears that he has never come this hard in his life.
jake: jake buys you a pair of vibrating panties for your birthday, and it's both the best and worst fucking thing ever. he makes you wear it during dinner that night, the remote control tucked inside the front pocket of his pants for easy access. he's a little shit with it, too, turning up the vibrations when the waitress takes your orders, and she notices how flustered you are in your seat. he kicks it up a notch after your food arrives, a smirk curling devilishly on his lips as your trembling fingers reach for your wine glass. by dessert, you're on the verge of an orgasm, and jake's enjoying this way too much. he cranks it to the highest setting as soon as you return to the car, making you come so hard that a scream tears at your throat, alerting passersby outside.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
steven: steven is the most vocal out of the three. he loves to talk, especially during sex. he's always checking on you regularly, ensuring that what he's doing is all alright. when steven's balls deep inside of you, he doesn't hold back his sounds. he knows how much you get turned on just by hearing his soft groans and breathy whines. sometimes, he's even louder than you are, so loud that it disturbs your neighbors next door, but neither of you could bring yourself to care. 
marc: when you first started sleeping together, marc was pretty quiet. he'd occasionally let out punctured gasps and shallow grunts while expertly pounding in and out of you but usually kept his noises subdued. after a while and with a bit of encouragement however, he lets his guard down and allows you to hear how good you make him feel. marc loves showering you with praises, murmuring into your skin how well you take his cock, how wet and tight you are as he drills into you. his moans tend to crescendo the closer he is to his climax, and when he finally cums, your name leaves his lips in a broken whimper.
jake: one word. feral. that's the most accurate word for it, for the sounds jake makes when he's fucking you into oblivion. he's cursing and growling and snarling into the air, hissing out your name when he feels you clench around him like a vice. when he's quiet, it's on purpose. he wants you and him to listen to the obscene sounds of flesh slapping against flesh that floods the bedroom walls. your favorite thing??? it has to be when jake is slamming into you from behind, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing your head back with his mouth a hair's breath away from your ear. in a low mutter, he tells you in spanish how you're his— and only, his. and you believe that.
✨ thirsty talk weekend ✨
476 notes · View notes
reineydraws · 2 years ago
Note
op. op pls i devoured your fic rec list. do you have. perchance. more to share. pls. (if you want ofc) jason requires All the hugs. esp when he gets to be Safe in bruce or dick's arms again like they're protecting him even though hes all grown up now and doesn't need protecting but that's his Family and they Love Him op im having emotions (tone lighthearted i just think you have good taste in fics and am wondering if you would want to rec some more? no pressure LOL)
anon, this has to be one of the best compliments ive ever received in my life lmao thank u for saying i have good taste in fics 😂
ive got 10 more recs for ya! i tried to centre it on jason with bruce and/or dick but there are a couple that have an even focus on other siblings too. those will still have the good jason stuff in it tho. 😌😌
also this time not all of them are h/c lol soz some of them are just fluff 🙏 but they do all have good family feels!!! and im pretty sure jason gets hugs in most of them too haha.
anyways, onto some (more) good jason todd family feels gen fic! once again: word count rounded to the nearest thousand, and listed in no particular order.
The Cave by lurkinglurkerwholurks | 4k
jason and dick get stranded on an island and dick is injured so jay goes to explore the island on his own and finds a sketchy cave he goes to explore. shit happens. as a younger sibling myself, i found it pretty accurately captures the complexity and the depth of sibling feelings and relationships (esp dick's older brother-ness) in a situation thats been dialed to 11.
through the valley of the shadow by Goldmonger | 10k
jason gets captured and tortured and inadvisably makes his way out of the building even though he's exacerbating his wounds bc he doesnt want to risk waiting for a father bat that will never come. bruce does get there in time and jay recovers at the manor, to his great annoyance and reluctant warmth.
Ornaments by haunt_the_stars | 2k
it's the holidays & bruce is counting kids (checking in on them) when he finds jason crying by the christmas tree bc bruce buys them all a new ornament every year and jason doesnt have any after his death and it's not fair he missed out on so much of his youth. i cried reading this but it was also cute. (tbf, literally any time jason contemplates the teenage years he missed out on due to his death etc., i cry lol.)
and if only i could make a deal with god by foreverstudent | 21k
one of the ones with a more even focus on everyone. id actually say it's about bruce. feels are good tho, and jason does get a hug. the bat boys get sent back in time and find a bruce that just started being batman standing in front of his parents' graves and wondering if he should stop being batman to find happiness in marriage. the boys unanimously decide to convince bruce to give up the bat so he can be happy, even though it majorly risks their own futures (and in dami's case, his actual life).
Tap Out by coyote_nebula | 8k
jay's at a gala and gets poisoned and as he struggles to breathe (and his family panics), he contemplates all the other times he felt like he was gonna die. focuses heavily on the concept of tapping out as a way to practice boundaries, esp in his relationship w bruce.
You, Me, and the Humanity in Between by JUBE514 | 66k
this is kind of fantasy realism? and this is another fic that focuses more evenly on everyone. bruce keeps finding these kids that arent really human, adopting them and giving them a childhood (and family!) anyways. it's sweet and my favourite thing about it is that the boys all pass around bruce's gotham knights sweater for comfort clothing. also there's a part where john constantine is like "h o w do you keep finding them?!?!" it's good lol. ah and i just love when stories explore what it means to be human.
The 70 Days After Groundhog Day by Ptelea | 44k
this is a dick pov fic that goes through the aftermath of a time loop only jason remembers. it's not often you get to read about the after effects instead of the time loop itself, which i thought was cool, and it goes into the way jason and his relationship to the family has changed bc of this thing only he remembers. focuses most heavily on dick & jay.
Commencement by ivy_and_ivory | 3k
jason invites bruce to his uni graduation :') what i like the most is that jason's not just thinking of how he feels now, he's thinking about how he'll feel in the future. he might still feel weird about bruce now but in the future he thinks he'll have wanted b to be there. it makes me so soft to read about this jason that's looking toward the future again, instead of focusing on his death and his past.
The Bedtime Chronicles by SillySunshine | 5k (series)
the rule is, as long as bruce can pick you up, he can still ground you. 😤 the first fic is robin jason and it's all v fluffy and adorable. the second fic is red hood jason so it's angsty and then hilarious (obvs b can still pick him up) and then fluffy. we love sappy father & son fic in this house!
pantry by envysparkler | 4k
one by one, jason's siblings congregate in his apartment to get away from bruce/seek refuge after a hard day/generally annoy him. jay-centric, tho all the siblings + bruce star pretty equally. fluff & humour! spoiler alert: eventually he escapes to the manor lmao.
103 notes · View notes