#like listen... I'm not saying I fully get deflation; but I get enough to realize that it's sadly generally not great

[medicinemane]

"Highly respected individuals including henry kissanger..." well I gotta stop you right there, you've got a major inaccuracy cause no one in their right mind respects that man

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'm just picturing dragon!NHS in Gusu excited to be outside the Unclean Realm for the first time and curious about everything! And wondering how others react to meeting this extremely un-Nie-like Nie who is spoiled rotten by his family apparently but has never been allowed to go out before?

1

“How did you even manage to fail a class like that?” Nie Mingjue asked, honestly bemused. “You listen, you nod, you smile, you parrot back whatever you’re told – it’s practically your best skillset.”

Nie Huaisang giggled behind his fan. “Well, there were pop quizzes. You know how I get when there’s pressure, da-ge; my brain goes totally blank.”

“Your brain,” Nie Mingjue said, aiming for severe, “has never once gone so blank that you lose your ability to scam people.”

“Da-ge! I don’t scam people. I help them realize that our interests are more aligned than they previously suspected, that’s all.”

“We can fertilize three fields with the amount of bullshit that just came out of your mouth,” Nie Mingjue said. “Do I want to know?”

“Teacher Lan said that he’s extended invitations to all the other sect heirs for next year! I want to go again!”

“You could have just asked,” Nie Mingjue groaned “You didn’t have to deliberately fail!”

2

It took Nie Huaisang nearly a week to notice, and even then it was only because Wei Wuxian said it casually, as if it was nothing, his arm looped over Nie Huaisang’s shoulders.

“Why’d you stop moving?” he asked, blinking at him.

“You just said we’re friends,” Nie Huaisang said.

“…are we not?”

“No, no, I’m definitely friends with you, Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang said hastily. “But I wasn’t aware that you were friends with me. This is awesome.”

“We spend all our free time with you, whenever Wei Wuxian isn’t stuck copying lines in the Library Pavilion,” Jiang Cheng said with a huff, though his face was a little pink in what was probably second-hand embarrassment for Nie Huaisang. “What do you think we are if not friends?”

Nie Huaisang might not have the best grasp of social niceties, but he was still pretty sure that I thought you were just humoring me was definitely the wrong answer here.

“Moreover, as friends, there are certain things expected of you,” Wei Wuxian announced, breezing by the awkwardness in a way Nie Huaisang appreciated. “Sharing, for one. Tonight, my place – I bring the wine, Jiang Cheng brings the snacks, and you, Nie-xiong, bring the porn.”

“I can definitely do that!”

3

“I think that’s all the business we have today, Sect Leader,” Nie Mingjue’s uncle, and head of his advisory council, said. “Unless there’s something else you want to mention that we haven’t covered?”

“Nothing on your part,” Nie Mingjue said. “I did get a letter from Gusu regarding Huaisang.”

He pretended to ignore the way that some of the people on the council tensed.

“He appears to have gotten into a little bit of trouble,” he continued. “Apparently, one of his new friends shoved him into a river –”

Visions of an awkward adolescent dragon, still a touch rotund with baby fat, dripping both water and tears all over the place were very clearly dancing in everyone’s head.

“– and afterwards they all got drunk on wine that had been smuggled in from the outside.”

Judging by their expressions, the visions had shifted over into what a drunk dragon might be like.

“Teacher Lan has informed me that he has imposed the appropriate punishment –”

Full-on expressions of horror.

“– but also reports that Nie Huaisang accepted it without argument, so the matter is considered as entirely resolved.”

“You,” his uncle said pointedly, “are doing this on purpose.”

Nie Mingjue smirked.

4

“So let me make sure I understand this right,” Nie Mingjue said. His lips were pressed tightly together, an expression he was aware made him look as if he were fuming – but then, most of his expression resembled anger in some way, shape, or form. “You’re concerned that Huaisang is being bullied?”

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian both nodded.

“You believe this to be happening based on certain interactions that you believe you have observed since coming to visit my sect.”

Another nod.

“And instead of bringing this up to me, his older brother, guardian, and sect leader, you decided to take matters into your own hands.”

There were birds that did nothing but nod their heads, and Nie Mingjue was definitely seeing a distinct resemblance here.

“I see.”

“We’re just saying, it was a fully justified fight!” Wei Wuxian finally burst out, even though Jiang Cheng was still stepping on his foot, and he shook off the elbow that Jiang Cheng drove into his side, too. “They always had these looks on their faces, like they disapproved of us running around or wrestling or rough-housing, doing anything, and it’s not fair, you know, just because he likes books and painting and stuff doesn’t mean he’s any less worthy of your sect –”

“They like his painting,” Nie Mingjue interjected.

Wei Wuxian, who had been building up a full head of hot air, abruptly deflated. “What?”

“Everyone likes his paintings,” Nie Mingjue said. “There’s a sect party every quarter in which one of the main attractions is a riveting debate as to which ones are the best, and who was lucky enough to win them off of him. Most of his pocket money comes from the fans he sells –”

“Really? Not the – uh, never mind.”

“Nie Huaisang is still paying back the initial loans on his erotic art business, so no.” It was doing pretty decent things for the sect’s budget, though. “The expression I believe you’re detecting is surprise.”

“…surprise?”

“I’m not sure if you noticed, but Huaisang isn’t much given to things like running around, wrestling, or rough-housing,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “Thus the surprise.”

Well, there was also a side order of ‘I can’t believe they’re doing that with a dragon’ involved, but that wasn’t their business.

“I appreciate your concern,” he added. “And your friendship with Huaisang. But next time, please just challenge them to a fight on the training floor instead of starting something in the hallway. It’ll avoid people tripping over you.”

Now they were both staring at him.

He raised his eyebrows at them in return.

“Your only complaint is that we were fighting in the wrong place?” Jiang Cheng squawked.

“Was there something else I should be complaining about?”

“Nope!” Wei Wuxian said, grabbing Jiang Cheng by the arm. “Thank you, sect leader! Bye, sect leader!”

5

“So there was a Xuanwu,” Nie Huaisang said. “A corrupted one.”

“I heard,” Nie Mingjue said. “I also heard that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji killed it.”

“Oh? Is that what you heard? I’m glad. Wouldn’t want those Wens getting all the credit, you know!”

“Mm.” Nie Mingjue waited until Nie Huaisang was breathing a sigh of relief to add, “I don’t believe it.”

Nie Huaisang wilted.

“I assume both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have now been read in on your portion of the sect’s secrets?”

Nie Huaisang nodded miserably. “I couldn’t help it. They were going with the Chord Assassination, but it wasn’t working – its skin was really thick – they might’ve gotten hurt, and you know Wei-xiong is one of my only friends –”

“Huaisang. It’s fine. We’ll deal with it, and anyway Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both capable of being discreet when they need to be. I’m more curious as to what exactly did you do?”

“…ate it.”

“Huaisang! How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t keep putting dirty things in your mouth!”

[aroundtheworldin80villains]

Can I get something fluffy with Hazamada? I'm not really picky ;_; Part 4 for life

you absolutely can get something fluffy with hazamada!  i’d be glad to provide.

de ralentir — to slow down.

you’d never really paid much attention to toshikazu hazamada before.  he was just some quiet, creepy third-year in 3-C with rumored psychic powers, or at the very least, a genuinely cursed aura around him that brought misfortune to anyone he deemed an enemy.  one poor bastard who argued with him lost an eye, another seemed like a girl possessed when she lashed out at her friend without being able to control herself, all because she’d told him off.  most avoided him like the plague, which only made his ire worse.  it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

but you could never find yourself able to keep your distance.  whenever he was around, you wouldn’t run.  he was at least sort of intriguing, but your legs almost seemed to lock up if you were in the hallways near him.  when you paused, or, on a good day, slowed down, he met up with you to say hello, ask you how your day was going.  you were always polite; you knew that you’d have to beg for heaven to help you if you weren’t.

well... would you?

maybe you just liked courting weird things to you, but as the school year went on and you talked more and more, you found at least an interesting young man underneath the glares and short temper.  he was eccentric and a huge fan of manga; his eyes lit up whenever you asked any question about it, and he was happy to tell you.  by late may, he even began to pry into your interests.  by mid-june, he asked about them first.

but by mid-june, you’d realized fully that something was definitely up.  you’d always been attuned to weird energies, even if you couldn’t articulate why, and when he would pause before coming up to you, like he was concentrating on something, you decided to finally confront him about it.  your legs hurt when they slowed down or locked up, and you’d had enough of it.

“hey, hazamada-kun,” you began one day after cleaning up at school, “can you answer me something?”

“eh?  sure, i guess,” he replied, though his eyes darted to the window for a moment.

you hesitated for a moment, gathering your thoughts and your courage.  if he was a true friend, he’d listen.  “why do i always slow down and stop when you call my name?  i like walking and talking with you, but it’s like i can’t control myself at all.  sometimes i have other things to do, and i’ve nearly been late to class many times this semester,” you told him, forward in your delivery, but not unkind.  

he stammered in response, getting flustered and defensive.  “why is that my fault?!” he asked.

“because it doesn’t happen with anyone else, and i see you watching me really intently before you approach.  i think you’re doing something, and i don’t appreciate it.” emboldened by your initial statement, you found yourself able to fold your arms, and so you did.  he verbally flailed for a moment longer before sighing.

“look, i—yeah.  i was making you slow down for me,” he admitted.  “i just didn’t want you to laugh at me and walk away.  everyone here either hates me or is afraid of me.  i couldn’t let that happen with you.  you’re the first person who’s really been worth talking to in this school.”  somehow that statement smelled strongly of sour grapes.

“that’s not cool, hazamada-kun.  i’m touched, but that’s really not cool,” you admonished, though your tone stayed at that same compassionate level.  he, surprisingly, deflated.

“please don’t be angry,” he pleaded, though he held little energy in his voice, like he’d already accepted defeat and the coming solitude.  your heart broke, even if it was firm in its resolve.

“even if i am angry, i can understand how it feels to be alone.  you didn’t need to do this, hazamada-kun,” you said.

“you don’t know that!” he cried.  “every time i try to be normal, nobody ever wants to talk to me or they make me feel like shit!  every single time!  every single time!”

“that doesn’t give you the right to hurt them or others around them, and that doesn’t give you the right to make me slow down,” you said.  “here.  i’ll tell you what.  if you stop doing those things to people, however you’re doing them, i’ll make sure to slow down for you unless i really have something important to do, and then i’ll tell you if i do.  you don’t have to be scared with me.  you’re my friend.  friends communicate with each other.  deal?”

he weighed his options, and nodded slightly.  “okay.  deal.  i’m sorry.”

“i know you are.  i forgive you,” you said with a sweet smile that made him melt.  his eyes watered.

“how can you be so nice to me?”

“all i needed was a moment to slow down and really take a good look at you.”