#like just LISTEN to the lyrics and tell me you can't imagine logan saying this to jv and williams

[killerandhealerqueen]

This song is very Logan Sargeant coded

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Bengan oneshot - Confession

Ask and you shall receive! <3

Logan likes stars. Ben knows this. Ben likes music. Logan knows this.

They liked to go out stargazing together, listening to songs like Stardust by Nat King Cole, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, Strange Time by Matt Maltese, and whatever else Ben felt like putting in the queue. Logan wasn't too picky about what kind of music they listened to. And besides, Ben had good music taste.

"Play that song we were listening to last night! Um, what was it..?" Logan tapped his fingers on the telescope, thinking. "♪And then I go and spoil it all by saying something-♪"

Ben cut him off by tapping on his shoulder and signed "Something Stupid?"

Logan nodded. "Ya! That one!"

Ben nodded and pulled out his phone. In all honesty, he didn't want Logan to sing along to it. Just imagining him saying the words 'I love you', even if not directed at him, was too much for his heart.

Ben liked Logan a lot. But he was bad at expressing this. He's been trying to make it a bit obvious. Lately he's been playing more romantic songs like Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley, Heart to Heart by Mac DeMarco, and Love Like You from Steven Universe. But Logan didn't seem to be picking up on the hints, which makes everything so much more difficult. Though, he was also kind of grateful. Logan actually knowing Ben liked him scared Ben a lot. Like... a lot, a lot.

Ben got the song playing and Logan looked through his telescope, humming along, murmuring, "♪...I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me...♪"

He watched Logan hum and murmur the lyrics, but before the words "I love you" could be said, he tapped on Logan's shoulder.

"Hm? What's up?"

Ben hesitated. What now? He just wanted to stop Logan before he could even mutter out those 3 lyrics. Those 3 words that would buzz through his head and have him repeat multiple fake scenarios that would never happen because how could they ever happen? How could Logan ever say "I love you" to him? Stupid, stupid brain.

Ben though before he signed, "What constellations are out?"

Logan smiled a little disappointedly. "Sadly, I can't tell. It's pretty cloudy tonight. But I can see a planet! Come check it out!"

Ben peaked through and saw a very bright object in the sky. Before he would've assumed it was just a really bright star. But due to spending so much time with Logan, he's gotten better at telling the differences apart.

"Which planet is that?"

"That's Venus! The most toxic of the planets. Which is ironic because it's named after the Roman goddess, Venus, who was pretty shallow, especially as her Greek counterpart!"

Ben thought about the name. He was really no good at Greek nor Roman mythology. He was more of a Norse mythology enjoyer.

Logan could tell by his face he was struggling to remember which goddess Venus was.

"She was the goddess of love!" Logan told him, causing Ben's shoulders to jump.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love....

What kind of weird sign was this? What, are the literal planets now calling him out for his crush!? That's not fair! And it kind of pissed him off a little, but he knew, deep down, that it would be stupid to get aggressive over a planet. Seriously, what kind of person would be like that. If he showed Logan he had anger issues that bad, he'd scare him off for sure. Like, ya, Logan already knows about the anger issues, but he doesn't know their full extent.

Logan nudged Ben a little, smiling at him. "The stars get red and oh, the night's so blue.."

Ben takes a moment to process what's happening, but before he knew it, Logan said the words.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..."

Ben stands there for a moment, processing this. Logan definitely hadn't directed that at him... No way.

Ya.. Logan looking at him expectantly, eyes big, blushing was all just Ben's imagination... definitely...

Logan clenches his fists and awkwardly turns away and Ben jumps, waving his arms to get his attention again before signing, "Frank Sinatra is pretty great, right?"

Logan gives him this weird look before sighing. "Ya. He is.."

They both look at the sky and Ben hesitates. He's doing something wrong. He did something wrong. He could tell by Logan's face. And Ben had a feeling what it was. But he had trouble being able to say it. How could he? Could he really be deserving to try and confess to anyone without actually saying it? Would that even count as a real confession?

He thinks for a moment before deciding "screw it" and grabbing his phone and frantically typing into Spotify the song he wants.

The song Yesterday by The Beatles began to play. Logan glanced curiously at Ben and Ben looked at him before sitting down on the grass. He gestured for Logan to join him, which he did.

Ben stared at him for a moment before finally getting the courage to do it.

He began to sign the lyrics for the song, frantically, scared to make any eye contact with Logan.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away.."

He hesitates on some of the lyrics, but he feels he got the message across... hopefully.

Once the song comes to a slow end, Ben tightly closes his eyes, waiting for Logan to say something. But he didn't. So Ben looked up, greeted to the site of Logan tearing up.

"What are you trying to tell me with this...?"

Ben hesitates, wanting to reach over, to wipe away his tears and tell him he doesn't need to cry.

"I'm in love with you, Logan," he signs. "But I don't feel I could be worthy. You don't know me how I used to be. I was so much more worthy of love back then. Now I'm not."

"You stupid-!" Logan exclaimed. "I don't care who you used to be! What, you got more aggressive? You can't talk? Who cares!? I don't! But don't push me away!"

Ben sits there, stunned, and Logan realizes what he said and shyly hunches his shoulders, blushing from embarrassment. "Sorry for yelling... But you get what I'm trying to say, right..?"

Ben hesitates, fidgeting nervously before slowly nodding.

Logan sighs. "'Yesterday' you may have been someone different.. but that doesn't matter because you are who you are now. I've changed too."

Ben looks down. Logan has changed. He's more confident, he's stronger, too.

"But you changed for the better."

"It's all a matter of perspective. I know a couple of guys who think I've changed for the worse because now they can't pick on me. And I may not have known who you used to be, but... you were bound to grow into who you are now because of it."

Before Ben could sign back a response, Logan took his hand into his.

"You grew into someone I love..."

Ben freezes. His heart freezes. His brain freezes. Time itself freezes.

Logan likes Ben. Ben never knew this.

Ben likes Logan. Logan always knew this.

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[emoprincey]

tell me about your autistic sides hcs

Ok, here are my (mostly projection) autistic sides hcs:

Janus is 100% one of those autistic people who uses sarcasm all the time but can't tell when other people are being sarcastic because he doesn't actually understand tone.

Virgil fidgets with Everything. None of his hoodies have aglets on the strings anymore, and he just doesn't wear clothes with buttons because they won't last at all.

Logan fully rehearses entire conversations before he has them, and he gets thrown off when people don't act exactly how he imagined they would. But he's actually gotten pretty good at predicting what people will say so he has more time to think of the socially correct response.

Virgil and Remus actually have a lot of special interests in common, so they (used to) have lots of fun infodumping to each other about horror movies and stuff.

Whenever Roman and Virgil talk to each other, it doesn't look like they're having much of a conversation because Roman just tells an anecdote about musical theatre and Virgil responds with a seemingly unrelated anecdote about an emo band. It makes sense to them, they're just both very anecdotal in the way they converse.

Virgil and Roman both have echolalia and repeat lyrics of songs they've listened to.

Logan has echolalia where he repeats the ends of phrases people say to him, and randomly recites facts he's heard.

They're all different in the ways they engage with their special interests. When Logan has a special interest, he researches Everything about it; Roman tries to integrate his interests into his creative projects, so if he's hyperfixating on a piece of media he makes loads of fan content; Virgil will watch a show over and over until he can recite entire episodes word for word, but couldn't tell you what year it first aired.