#like it's not quite a minority group but my family were kinda poor rural appalachians | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yardsards · 2 years

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tip for any kids/teens out there: if your parents say things like "don't tell anyone about this; they won't understand how our family works. they'll wrongfully think that we mistreat you and you'll get taken away and you don't want that." there is a MASSIVE chance that you're being abused/neglected

(or ESPECIALLY "don't tell anyone, or we'll punish you." that is almost definitely abuse right there)

it's getting pretty well-known that if an adult touches you and says to keep it a secret, that you're probably getting sexually abused. and it's a good thing that kids are being taught about that.

but it's often forgotten that the "don't tell anyone" tactic can be used for other forms of abuse/mistreatment too

"don't tell anyone how long we leave you home alone. don't tell anyone we hit you. don't tell anyone how much we drink. don't tell anyone how violent our fights get. don't tell anyone how much you have to take care of yourself. don't tell. don't talk about home. nobody will understand. this is how we work. this is how families are supposed to work. the outsiders are wrong. don't let them hear. they'll hurt you worse than we do."

maybe they genuinely believe that they're right and that everyone else is wrong. maybe they know they're abusing you and don't want to get caught. doesn't matter, it's not okay. even if you don't feel ready to tell anyone or ask for help, it can sometimes help to just acknowledge that what they're doing to you is wrong and that you don't deserve to be treated like that

#(there are maybe a few exceptions. like how minorities are sometimes falsely accused of abusing/neglecting their kids #just for practicing harmless parts of their culture)#but most of the time this is not the case #if you're not sure: it can be helpful to talk to other people from your minority group to see if they think it's okay #though sometimes that's not totally foolproof bc mistreatment CAN become normalized in a culture #like it's not quite a minority group but my family were kinda poor rural appalachians #and A LOT of people from the same background as us raised their kids the exact same way #and insisted that city people were bad parents because they were too gentle on their kids #so ymmv but yeah just think about it and if what's going on feels bad to you #eliot posts #abuse tw #child abuse tw #neglect tw #child neglect tw #csa mention

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