#like it's not (entirely) out of malice he just doesn't care about the moral aspect of it?

[randomly--accessed--memories]

eternally going back and forth on my characterization of alastor in this au

[fernsnailz]

OH ALSO. ik you said something abt how some aspects of your feelings on the shth game have changed - what would you say is different now? (again feel free to ignore this)

oh yeah! overall, most of my feelings about shth2005 have remained the same - that game is a contradictory mess and i adore it. i mostly have a few minor grievances with my big shadow 2005 analysis essay. i'll talk under the cut about some specific moments that i think a little differently on - if you haven't read the big shadow essay, i'd say read it first and then come back to read this post.

grievance #1: The Doom

"being Good or Neutral around Maria makes WAY more sense than taking the Dark path. The game’s morality system breaks so badly in [The Doom] that things start to make sense again."

i still mostly agree with my thoughts on The Doom, and the game's failure in design affecting the morality system is something that i think could prompt further discussion. but a couple of people pointed out that the hero mission is still an interesting indicator to shadow's emotional state on the darker paths, and i don't want to completely discredit that concept because i like it a lot.

The Doom's hero mission is grueling. 60 gun soldiers to defeat in a maze level is not something most players would be willing to do. but it may be something that shadow is willing to do on a darker path - rage leading him to hunt and eliminate every single human he can find is harrowing, and it's a malevolence that the darker paths of this game fail to really show. so as much as i dislike the morality missions in this game, i do think they're an interesting measurement of the lengths shadow is willing to go to if it means defeating his enemy. the guy just doesn't stop.

grievance #2: boy what on earth is that take about the hero cast

"They want Shadow to work for them because of a desire to prove their side of the cycle is the right one."

i'll be real with you i think there was a bit too much analysis going on here lol. the heroes want shadow's help because there's a literal alien invasion threatening to wipe out all life on earth. are they manipulative towards shadow? i mean sometimes, but i don't think most of them do it out of malice or intentionally, and i definitely don't think they really care about proving their side of the moral compass right during the Fucking Alien Armageddon.

the only hero character that i think would be deliberately manipulative (minus eggman) is sonic, and i don't think he would consciously realize it. best example i have of sonic's occasional manipulative attitude towards shadow is the whole "if he can't be forgiven, can you?" bit from the mr tinker arc in IDW. and this is really only something he does to shadow - sometimes he just wants to get under shadow's skin without realizing what he's actually saying. sometimes sonic's just an asshole! and i like that, it's an interesting aspect to sonic that i wish was explored a little more in shth2005, the game about his rival. idk that's all i have to say here

grievance #3: who is shadow even?

"to him, doing what’s “right” means giving as many people as possible that same chance at life. It’s not a justification of morals or a desire to be heroic that leads Shadow down this path - it’s just what he wants to do."

i've circled around my final opinions in my shadow 2005 essay a lot because honestly. i don't really know where i stand on these thoughts currently lol. shadow is inconsistent enough that i struggle to really pin down what exactly he deems as "right" or what he even wants to do most of the time - it's especially difficult to pin these things down when trying to cover shadow as a whole across the entire franchise, which is what i was trying to do here. because man, does this guy feel all over the place when you look at everything.

i think there's truth in the idea that shadow doesn't really care about protecting the people of sonic's world (this sonic channel story explores that concept a bit). at the same time, i think it's also entirely possible that this "i don't care what happens to others" attitude is a bit of a front he puts up (especially around sonic). and as silly and non-canon as i think the sonic twitter takeovers are, i do think they were kinda cooking something when they made shadow work at a soup kitchen. these are all somewhat different ideas and interpretations of shadow, but i think they're all plausible for this character. personally, i'd rather embrace the inconsistency then try to limit him to one worldview.

the only solid "truth" i can formulate about shadow's motivations right now is this: whatever he deems right, or whatever he wants to do, he decides for himself because it's his life. he doesn't do these things for maria, or for gerald, or for the rest of the world. his choices and actions are his own - maybe inspired by others, but not for them. and the things he decides to do are often inconsistent because he's an immortal, traumatized, teenage hedgehog - a paradoxical creation that's still learning how to live. he might be the ultimate life form, but it's more important to me that he's just shadow.