#like it’s still not the case that any driver wouldn’t prefer to win but the way this person in Lando’s tag has it exactly fully wrong

[inchidentally]

every day I’m grateful landoscar fandom can draw the line between fun rpf and reality and that we never attracted the rpf pipeline fans who fully flip reality on its head to … and I’m not joking … think that another driver wasn’t trying to win a race ?? he was trying to be on a podium with Lando ??

the absolute delulululuuuu of ppl choosing to not have heard Carlos’ pissed off radio and then repeating it in his post race that if he had Lando’s “luck” with the SC then he would’ve won it instead of Lando. he literally went “fuck, so he’s won it then” in an angry voice and later on doubling down on Lando’s “luck” with the SC and how if Carlos could’ve had that he’d have gladly taken the win for himself he didn’t gaf about being on the podium with his lil buddy he wanted to win instead of Lando and he said so

and that last year when Lando said he would like Carlos on the podium with him for his first race win he literally said “so I can look down on him for once” he didn’t give a shit about anything but finally beating everyone on that track including Carlos which he’s literally said as well repeatedly he’s literally said he has no friends when racing

like these are brotherly yes but still very competitive digs they’re getting in at each other they’re not even misconstrued as friendly shavdjdbejbd

which makes sense since they call each other brother and cabrón but howwww do you mistake any of that for them giving two fucks about their friendship when they’re both wanting to beat the other at all costs like yknow they should as racing drivers ???

ironic tho bc it was Max and Oscar who stipulated that the SC may have been a bit of a help but that “Lando still had the pace even after that” to win like it’s wild how rpf can make people ignore that Max hates being second and still stuck up for Lando and Oscar had had his entire race completely ruined and still made sure to immediately and repeatedly defend Lando against ppl thinking the SC car gifted him a win

again it’s in reality fully normal and fine that Carlos wanted the win and thinking he should have won and couldn’t stop himself saying that even immediately after praising Lando !! it’s just absolutely wild the mental gymnastics to try and see it any other way

and yea I’m so happy our fandom can appreciate the reality of Oscar and Lando as drivers and not desperately try to larry it into insane rpf fantasy. like. even landoscar fic doesn’t pretend that Oscar and Lando are out on the track at any point thinking gosh I’m gonna remotely lose my competitive edge that’s been honed since I was a child bc I looooooove that guy in the other car like we all fully accept that’s not believable even in fiction ajshsbdjsbd

[doyumacy]

FALLOUT |LH| TWO

gif not mine

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: mentions of yuta. swearing, blood (i’ll let you know when there are parts with blood mentions), smut (let you know), violence, angst

WORD COUNT: 2,9K

ONE TWO THREE

It had been a week since Donghyuck was working as your personal bodyguard and things were apparently going well. The threats had stopped, but they didn't want to let their guard down in case something happened.

Donghyuck and you had got a little closer since they used to spend quite a lot of time together. One night, you left the office at one o'clock in the morning and after Donghyuck insisted you eat something, you ended up eating at a stall in a street in downtown Seoul.

You took the opportunity to get to know each other a little bit better and Donghyuck told you that he wanted to be a music producer and went to music school, but his father never approved it and had to devote himself to what he did.

On the other hand, you shared that you never thought of becoming a CEO. You always pictured yourself a baker and having a small bakery, but somehow you weren't a great baker. He found it very interesting how the tables turned.

On Wednesday, Donghyuck arrived earlier than normal and you extended your hand and shook his, greeting him, pleased to note how firm and strong his handshake was. Why did a handshake suddenly seem so much more evocative? You had shaken hundreds, thousands, of men’s hands and none, not even your ex-partners, had a touch that brought shivers to your spine like that.

Maybe that day wouldn’t be so bad after all. You thought. 

You had been told that one of your negotiations had been called off and they notified you right after you arrived at their building. What a waste of time.

“Ma’am, I was wondering if we could discuss you using the underground entrance from now on?” Donghyuck inquired.

No, it was still a bad morning. With one question, the attractive bodyguard brought on you wrath and was anything but attractive to you anymore. How many times have you instructed the driver and the staff that you were going to continue to enter the Genesis Intelligence Headquarters. 

And how many times did you need to remind Donghyuck to call you (Y/N), not “Ma’am“?

“I’m late for a meeting,” you snapped. You turned on your shoes and started towards the building.

As irritated as you were, you were still aware of the presence of the well-built Donghyuck a few steps behind you and caught a glimpse of him in the window’s reflection as you entered the building. Hmmm, you sighed. «Even if he does annoy me, he is still lovely to look at.»

In your irritation and your attempt to get back on schedule, you lost sight of Donghyuck for the next ninety minutes. The 9:30 meeting to which you were late did not go well. Again.

As you exited the meeting to take his 10:00 call, Lia approached you. “I’ve confirmed your slot with  Lee Youngjoon for tomorrow, but Nakamoto Yuta wants to see you at 10:45 this morning, instead of 11:30. He insisted.”

You frowned. Yuta? You hadn't heard or seen him in a year and suddenly he wanted a meeting with you?

You glanced at your watch. It was just shy of 10:00. If you were lucky, you could take your call and still make it to 10:45.

“Why?” You demanded.

“I don’t know, but he was very persistent.” Lia came to the response.

“Fine. Make sure to update security on the change in plans,” You instructed Lia. “Thanks, Lia.”

Fifteen minutes later, while in the middle of your 10:00 call, Donghyuck knocked on her door. Oh right, him. He entered your office without waiting for your response. You glared at him as you put your call on hold. 

“Ma’am, we need to be leaving for your meeting if you want to make it on time.”

“I’m afraid you have the time wrong. We have another fifteen minutes and I need to finish this call.”

“No, ma’am. We need to take an alternate route. If we don’t leave now, you’ll be late.”

You continued glaring at Donghyuck. “Why? What’s wrong with our regular route? I could walk there faster than what you’re proposing.”

“I don’t doubt that ma’am, but I would advise against it. It’s all for your safety, ma’am.”

It seemed unlikely that you would win on this one. You ended your call, gathered your things, and followed Donghyuck to the elevators, where he selected the basement level rather than the ground floor. You shook your head and sighed. Once the elevator stopped, Donghycuk led you through to the underground entrance, where your car was waiting.

“Donghyuck, this will be the first and only time you have me use the underground entrance, do you understand?“ Your  tone was scathing. 

Donghyuck nodded in silence and as he held open the car door for you, your hand accidentally brushed against his and you couldn’t help but catch a whiff of his cologne. You froze. For three seconds, the world stopped. You were distracted by how attractive Donghyuck was. You almost didn’t want to move. You wanted to be as close to him as possible, for as long as possible.

Your reverie was broken by the sound of a car horn somewhere else in the garage. You felt a rush of heat flood to your cheeks. You slid down into his seat as Donghyuck closed the car door, hoping that he hadn’t noticed any of this. That behaviour, those reactions, were completely out of character. Even after the car started moving, you couldn’t quite shake the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

…

“You look as beautiful as usual, sweetheart,” Yuta greeted you planting a kiss on your cheek.

“It’s nice to see you, too,” you told him.

Yuta clicked his tongue, not sure what if he had done something wrong. “Come.” With that, you walked into his office,, leaving the door open. Donghyuck gave you a look and stood right in the door, turning his back on you.

“Since when do you have a dog following you around?” Yuta raised an eyebrow, sitting on his chair, eyeing Donghyuck. “I think I’ve seen him before.”

“He’s my bodyguard, not my dog,” you corrected him and sat in front of him. “And why don't you ask him?

Yuta shook his head. “Maybe he was someone else’s dog before you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why did you want to see me?”

“Because I missed you.”

“Cut the crap.”

Yuta giggled. “You’re really having a bad day, huh? What happened?”

You sighed and relaxed on the chair. “The guy from Hong Kong called off the negotiation this morning and I was counting with that money for the new software we were going to launch next year. And he fucking called me right when I was outside the building!”

“I warned you about him, sweetie.”

“That’s the last thing I need right now, Yuta,” you glanced at him.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he nodded. “What if I invest in it?”

“You?” You looked at him. “Why would you do that? We’re literally direct competition.”

“We could launch it together. Right now your A.I is one of the best in the market, and I’m not gonna lie: I’m a bit jealous,” he admitted. “You combine tasks such as teaching self-driving cars to avoid accidents, assessing damage of a natural disaster, and detecting parking lot usage. This is all done through drone and satellite imagery.”

“Who in hell would've come up with that?” Yuta looked at you. “I can help you penetrate the Japanese market and get even bigger.”

You bite your lip. It’s true, during the last year you did everything to crack the Japanese market but failed and since Yuta’s company was a large and established company there, he could help you.

“You are really willing to negotiate with me?” You asked him.

He nodded. “I’ve known you for many years and I have followed your work. I’m pretty sure Genesis Intelligence could take over Industrial artificial intelligence.”

You stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and stood up walking around his office. “I need to think about it. You’re my friend and I don’t want business to screw things up.”

Yuta laughed and stood next to you placing a hand on your shoulder. “If sex didn’t screw things up neither will this.”

“Oh my, God. Shut up,” you hissed, looking to where Donghyuck was standing. He didn't even seem to move. You looked back at Yuta. “I’m gonna leave.”

Yuta chuckled and caressed your shoulders. “Stay, it’s been so long since we saw each other.”

You squint your eyes looking at him. “I’m not gonna fuck with you in your office.”

“I never said anything about fucking, but if you want me to bend you over my d-” You placed a hand on his mouth to stop him from talking and sighed. 

“I’ll tell my assistant to call you so we can arrange a meeting soon with the rest of the staff,” you told him and grabbed your purse.

“I’m looking forward,” he smirked.

You nodded and started making your way out of the office when he called you. “(Y/N)?”

You turned around. “Yes?”

“Your ass looks incredibly hot today in those dress pants,” he smiled at you.

“Good afternoon, Yuta,” you said leaving his office.

Donghyuck started walking behind you, escorting you and didn’t understand why the comments Yuta made got him upset. Was he your boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend, perhaps? Your lover?

Why did he even care? It wasn't as if he was interested in you. He had a task he must comply with. Just another job. That's what this was supposed to be. He had done it dozens of times, killed someone for money, that is. He'd earned a reputation among others in his trade for being discreet, efficient, and the ability to make it look like an accident. He quite enjoyed it, too. It was an outlet for his creativity and frustration and he had a lot to be frustrated about.

You two were sharing the enclosed, confined space of a gaudy elevator. The metal around you was pristine, without a single smudge to be seen. Directly behind you, it seemed a ceiling to floor mirror was installed over the wall of the elevator... For what reason, Donghyuck sure. He wasn't much of an aestheticist anyway, prefered things to be plain or simple in design.

There was an awkward silence and you cursed Yuta’s building which had 25 floors. The ride was long.

“So… Mr. Nakamoto and you?” Donghyuck broke the silence. You looked at him, frowning. “Right, sorry. It’s none of my business.”

You scratched your forehead and then snickered leaning against the metal wall. “I’m guessing you heard our conversation. Sorry about that.”

“No, please. I apologise. Again, it’s none of my business, ma’am.”

“Yuta and I used to… be really good friends,” you looked at him. “That’s in the past, and it’s even more buried now that we’re gonna be partners. It wouldn't be ethical.”

Donghyuck nodded. “Got it, ma’am.”

You huffed and rolled your eyes. “You need to stop calling me ‘ma’am. I feel like a 50 year old woman.”

“Sorry ma’am, but you don't look anything like a 50 year old woman,” Dongyuck glanced at you.

Your overactive imagination can’t help but bring that off-handed comment to life inside your head. You smiled. "Thank you. So, will you stop calling me that?"

"No."

You sighed. "Please?"

Donghyuck laughed lightly. “You worry too much about that.”

“Yes,” You didn't deny it. “It's strange. You're only 2 years older than me and are ma'aming me everyday.”

Donghyuck smirked at the word you used. “You’re my boss. I’m just being professional.”

Your mouth opened to speak, but the elevator suddenly shook, the lights flicker, and you stumbled. Donghyuck reacted without hesitation, sidestepping to make sure that you fall into his chest instead of to your knees. The emergency light of the elevator turned on, and you two shared a glance at each other.

“Did it break?” A stupid question, you're sure.

Donghyuck hummed, stepping away from you and towards the elevator door before banging a fist against it. He checked the elevator buttons, then leaned back to glance up at the dial above the door - you're stuck between the sixth and fifth floor. Donghyuck pulled out his cellphone and groaned. "I have no signal."

You breathed a couple of times and looked at him. "Am I under attack?  Am I gonna get killed here? Did someone plan this?!"

"Hey, hey," Donghyuck cupped your face with his hands and stared at you. "It's just a shut down. You're okay, nothing will happen to you as long as you're with me."

You nodded and closed your eyes trying to relax. Donghyuck's hands around your face felt like heaven; they were warm and soft. You opened your eyes again just to see a Donghyuck still staring at you. You could drown in that look. "Better?"

"Yeah, thank you," you whispered.

Donghyuck let go of your face and you hated the feeling of emptiness he left. 

The bright lights flickered on and made you squint. You clapped your hands together cheerfully, turning to look at the dial over the door that begins to move again. “Oh, thank God!"

“Told you,” Donghyuck smiled at you. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.”

…

Your hands moved from his shoulders to the top button of his shirt. As you slowly unfastened button after button, your piercing eyes met his. Donghyuck thought he might come just from the intensity of your look and the feel of your fingers opening up his shirt. Donghyuck’s fingers grazed across your stomach and you shivered. Your hands moved around to Donghyuck's back, underneath his shirt. You pulled him closer to you, but not close enough that your lower halves touched. In fact, it appeared that he intentionally stopped their lower halves from touching. In one quick movement, you had Donghyuck shirtless. He barely registered when you started kissing his neck and then his chest with soft kisses.  When your hands reached the top of his pants, you slipped them between the fabric and his skin. Grabbing the top of your ass, he finally pulled his lower half in contact with your lower half...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Donghyuck awoke with a start. His breath erratic, his heart racing. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and what was happening. Donghyuck looked around his room, around his bed. Both were empty, as always. It was a dream. Just a dream. You weren’t there. 

He groaned when realised someone had woken up very ‘pleased’ that morning. Donghyuck ran a hand through his hair and got out of bed walking to the bathroom and taking care of his ‘problem’ and getting ready to go to work.

And that same night, you sat in the venue dressing room where you were about to make a speech, reviewing your notes. Donghyuck stood silent and still by the hallway door. 

Lia entered the room, carrying several cups of coffee and a bag of food. It was about damn time. You had requested the coffee as soon as you got there; what had taken her so long? You had less than ten minutes to down the cup of decaf. 

After having two sips of coffee, the venue manager called you so you could wait backstage since you would be on it in 5 minutes. 

As the presenter made his little speech, you tried to crack your fingers for the third time in the day. You were nervous and Donghyuck noticed it. “If you keep trying to do that you’re gonna end up with no bones to crack for the rest of your life.”

“Huh?” You looked at him and then giggled. “Sorry, it’s just that… I’m nervous.”

“I never thought you were the nervous type when it came to speeches,” he said.

“It’s not about giving the speech, it's about who is here,” you sighed.

“And that is?” Donghyuck raised both eyebrows.

“My father.” You admitted.

“He 's here?” 

You nodded and your eyes went to the crowd looking for him until you spotted him. “Do you see the man with the grey suit and a black tie, surrounded by 4 guards?”

Donghyuck’s eyes slyly followed yours and found the man you were talking about. He knew him from somewhere. He squinted to have a better look of his face and froze when he recognised. There was no way.

“... he technically is my father, but left my mom when I was a newborn and never came back. And 3 years ago he contacted me telling me he’s interested in my business but I have no plans to sell it or make a partnership by any means…”

Donghyuck was aware you were talking to him but he couldn’t stop looking at the man, or your father. Why would he want you dead? So he could take over your business? That was evil. 

“Right?” You looked at him and shook your hand in front of him. “Donghyuck? Are you alright?”

“Yeah… yeah,” he shook his head and gave you a warm smile. “I was just… shocked to know he’s your father.”

“He’s a businessman with relations pretty much everywhere,” you said, “he’s so judgmental of my work but hasn’t even bothered to get to know me better. I guess he’s a natural dick.”

“He is… I mean, you’re great. He should feel lucky to have you, but he doesn’t appreciate that.” He looked at you. “You turned out great without him.”

“That’s what my mom says,” you beamed. “I should relax, what can he do to ruin me? Nothing.”

He gulped. Little did you know.

[ladecena]

A Mother's Love🤍

It was lunchtime, but Alliah was not in the school's cafeteria. It was always too crowded and noisy, and the food wasn't the best anyways.

Instead she preferred playing intruments to her heart's content in one of the empty music rooms. Today it was one of her favourites, an acoustic violin. It was one of the school's few undamaged ones, so she handled it with care and hoped no other student would accidentally break it.

Her stomach growled, but she knew the money she had on her wouldn't be enough to buy even a cheese sandwich. To make matters worse tommorrow would be the last day of school before the one week of school holidays, she had no idea how she would be able to survive being home with her mother for the entire time.

She would just go to the library for the entire day or something, was what she concluded.

Maybe she could read up on other types of guitars like last time, or just indulge herself in a random story.

For now, she made the best use of time by practicing a difficult piece she memorised on the piano in preparation for a competition in a few months time. It was being hosted at some rich private school, but she was easily able to enter.

After all she was considered a musical genius. If she was able to at least place in the event then she would win a large amount of money as well as being sponsored by a famous musician who was to attend to be a judge. That would mean she could finally helped her mother for their needs

A ringing in her pocket distracted her from her thoughts, and Alliah rushed to pick up without even checking who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey...Are you Alliah De Guzman by any chance?"

"Yes? Who are you?"

"I'm Officer Dela Cruz, I'm very sorry to inform you of your mother's death."

"W-what? How?!"

"A hit and run case I'm afraid."

So it what’s happened to me now.

"Am I... going to an orphanage then?"

"Well that hasn't been decided yet. My team found out you have other existing relatives, so we'll contact them to ask if they're willing to adopt you."

She had other family? Her mum had never told her that.

"I-I see..."

"You'll be picked up after school by me, and once again, I'm very sorry for your loss."

Officer Dela Cruz then hung up, Alliah feel very upset after hearing about her mother's death. Because all this time she’s only have is her mother

Alliah’s thought she would come home to a woman who would huged her when she arrived, and the mother who loved her for the rest of her life.

For now, her only worry were these so called relatives. Alliah knew she had a biological father, but had been told once that he had died years ago.

A few hours later...

After school had ended, Alliah waited by the school gates before getting in a police car which pulled up, she was glad it was late since she didn't want to attract attention.

The driver was a petite female who seemed to be in her early thirties and wore a blank face; Alliah assumed she was Officer Dela Cruz.

"Hello again Alliah, I have some more news to tell you, positive this time."

Her other family decided not to adopt her and she could stay by herself?

"Your brother agreed to adopt you immediately, and even paid for your flight ticket to the city he lives in for tommorow!"

Dang it. Wait a second...

"I have a brother?"

"Yes, six older brothers to be precise, I just contacted the eldest one." After seeing Alliah De Guzman she added, "I'm sure it won't be bad."

You try having lots of older brothers you've never met before and see if you like it, lady.

"Anyways, for now, let's go to where you live and you can take what you need as quickly as you can."

Alliah wanted to tell her that it wouldn't take her long since she didn't have much, but then decided against it and helped the officer with directions to the block of flats where she lived.

As soon as they arrived, Alliah could feel the woman's concerned look on her. Let's just say the girl didn't live in the best neighbourhood, and the building was pretty old and run-down.

She quickly got out and ran to the flat she lived in. She found that the door was left open, by none other than her beloved mother.

Upon entering, Alliah was so upset and starting to cry out loud, and instantly hit with the usual stench of cannabis, but ignored that and went to her tiny bedroom. She pulled out a small suitcase from under her bed, and filled it with the few possessions she had. In her schoolbag, she put in her books, music notes and pieces and their pictures with her mom, as well as her sleeping pills.

Once she was done, she dragged her stuff back to the car and finally sat back down into the front seat while crying.

"Before we leave for the airport, are there any friends or places you want to visit Alliah?"

She shook her head, of course she didn't have any friends! It was safer that way, no one could risk finding out about the conditions she had lived in.

The Officer simply nodded and drove them away, and Alliah plugged in her earphones and listened to some Music.

Going through the airport was a bit long, but she didn't mind since it was her first time and she was quite to board the plane. Once she reached the waiting area, Alliah was sipping on a cola Officer Dela Cruz had brought her, and began to stress over meeting her new family.

What if they don't like her? Or they think she's not good enough?

For all people, why does my mother die? And then what happened to me now.. Alliahs thought.

"Officer...Can I ask you something?"

The woman glanced up from her phone and nodded.

"What if I don't like it at my brothers' home? Can I come back here instead?"

Officer Dela Cruz frowned before saying, "Well it's not as simple as that. I'll come in a week or two's time to see how you're finding it and if it really isn't working out- by that I mean things like if there's signs of abuse or the financial situation is bad- then you can come back."

"Ok..." The response hadn't been quite what Alliah expected, she thought a simple 'I don't like it here' would be enough for her to avoid living with these people, but there was more to it than it seemed.

"But hey, once you're 18 there's no stopping you from going or doing what you want, right?"

"I guess. Thanks Officer."

With that Officer Dela Cruz continued scrolling through her phone.

An hour or so later, it was time for Alliah’s flight. It was quite late at night and the plane was due to land in the morning. She shared an awkward but warm hug with Officer Dela Cruz before pulling back.

"See you, and thanks for the cola Officer."

"Goodbye Alliah, and just call me Mel."

Alliah changed her mind, Mel was not as bad as she had initially thought.

While alliah’s in her way to her new family they start to think about her last conversation with her mother.

Alliah’s Conversation with her mother ..

'I really like the sound of your voice everytime you say you love me, baby.'

Alliah smiled softly and stared at her mother eyes, the eyes of the woman whom She have loved for years. She still looks beautiful even with the wrinkles on her face, or with her hair turning into gray.

Alliah’s smiled even more as She reminisce their memories back to the good old days, the days when their still young and strong, the days when their still fully able to get along.

Alliah bent down and searched for a black pen and a paper to write on inside her backpack. While she sits still, silently, calmly taking in its beautiful scenery.

When Alliah finally found the things She needed, She placed it on her lap. Then, She waved her hand which got her mother attention.

"I love you," She uttered and waited for her mother response, wishing she would respond. After all, she has always loved to hear they say these words since She was a kid.

But maybe, She got her hopes too high again because she just stared at her with a knotted forehead, as if she's confused.

Alliah gulped down the longing that She felt, trying so hard to stop her self by crying even when her chest aches too damn much. She still can't understand what I'm saying, she can no longer understand. I've been trying, I've been wishing, I've been praying every single day, begging Him to make her understand me again. Nothing happened.

I held the pen and wrote something on the paper. Then, I handed it to her, now with a big smile plastered on my face. For this queen should not see any signs of weakness from me.

She took it immediately and looked at the paper for a while. And suddenly, tears started to fall from her eyes. I almost panicked, thinking that I made her feel upset. Maybe she sensed it, or maybe she knows me this much that she shook her head before I could even ask her what's wrong.

Without a word, she hugged me. She hugged me really, really tight, making sure that I'd feel her unconditional love with this simple act.

"I love you."

I've been telling her these words for years and I'd still say it over and over again, even if she couldn't understand what she hears anymore.

"I love you, Mama. I will never get tired of loving you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

While thinking of it Alliah’s started to cry again and thinking what happened next with him without her beloved mother.

- MariaGrasya🍃

June 11, 2021

[erin-gilberts]

holtzbert of course

Gives nose/forehead kisses - Erin is more likely to give forehead kisses during soft and intimate moments with her girlfriend, or as a means to comfort and reassure her. Holtzmann, however, holds the market on nose kisses. She likes the way they never fail to catch Erin off-guard and diffuse tension. Erin can’t be mad at her if she’s flustered and sputtering from receiving a nose kiss. Ha! She wins. 

Gets jealous the most - Erin. Because of her history with bullying and being excluded, she unfortunately is always inclined to feel left out, and to assume the people she’s with are soon going to realize they have better options than her. She finds herself getting jealous and ruminating over the ways Holtzmann flirts with other women, but she comes to realize Holtz isn’t so much flirting as deflecting from feeling uncomfortable, and she definitely isn’t going anywhere, either. 

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive - I’m gonna give this one to Holtzmann just because I think Erin drinks more than Holtz, and I tend to HC one or both of them as recovering alcoholics. I’ve always read into Holtzmann’s comment about how she’d talk to Erin at an AA meeting to suggest she’s more careful around alcohol now than she used to be, and she probably doesn’t get drunk often if at all. So she’s fine to be the designated driver out of respect for herself - and also because drunk Erin is so very entertaining, why wouldn’t she want to remember that in the morning? 

Takes care of the other on sick days - Both. Erin is a romantic. Of course she takes care of Holtz on sick days, bringing her fluids and food, getting her prescriptions, and assisting with the practical tasks associated with getting better. I also think Erin is the type to be a little needy / emotional when she’s sick and Holtzmann takes care of her via cuddles, holding her hair back when she throws up, and things like that. 

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day - Holtzmann is an absolute goblin child who will drag her girlfriend into the water at any cost on beach day. If she can do it through shenanigans, or rope Abby and Patty into helping her execute her plan, she will. Erin isn’t opposed to getting in the water. Holtzmann just prefers getting her there in the most chaotic way possible. 

Gives unprompted massages - Holtzmann. She’s very tactile and she experiences the world through her hands, so if she notices Erin’s shoulders seem especially tense, or her girlfriend is complaining about being sore because she sat at a desk for too long that day, Holtz will absent-mindedly massage whatever hurts. 

Drives/rides shotgun - We all know Holtzmann drives whether anyone in the Ecto-1 wants her to or not and there’s nothing they can do about it. Erin rides shotgun while holding onto the handle above the window the entire time! 

Brings the other lunch at work - Neither, these two are equally scattered and equally likely to get caught up in their work enough to forget to eat lunch. If Erin packs a lunch, she’ll pack one for Holtz, too - but it happens just as often that the two of them go, “Shit, lunch. I forgot. Takeout?” 

Has the better parental relationship - Erin. Unlike some in this fandom, I really don’t read Erin’s parents as abusive or awful. I don’t know that the Gilberts are necessarily super warm or close, but I headcanon they reconcile after the events of the film and Erin is able to finally move beyond not being believed by them as a kid. Whereas Holtzmann seems to be not in contact with her family of origin by choice. I read Holtz’s parents as actively non-accepting of her and she’s gone no contact with them to protect her own peace. 

Tries to start role-playing in bed - Holtzmann and it probably happens accidentally most of the time. She relies on scripts for social interactions and is kind of lost without them. When she doesn’t know what to do during sex, she defaults to trying scripts she knows, to mixed success. When it is on purpose, it’s because she’s a bit more playful in bed and a bit more adventurous than Erin. 

Embarrassingly drunk dancer - Erin dances like a mom when she’s sober. She’s worse when she’s drunk. Holtzmann loves it though and eats it up (and might have a recording or two...or ten of this occurring). 

Still cries watching Titanic - Erin. She and Patty probably amplify the hell out of each other in this regard. If it’s not the doomed romance that gets her, it’s the scene where the band keeps playing through a montage of doomed people accepting the inevitability of their fate. Holtzmann barely has the attention span to sit through a movie as long as Titanic, let alone get emotionally invested in the story. It just goes on for too long! 

Firmly believes in couples costumes - Both. Listen, these two have bad puns and dad jokes for days, and so many of the great ones are best executed with two people. Holtzmann comes up with the ideas the most but Erin is equally all in when Halloween rolls around. 

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas - Erin. Holtzmann makes most of her gifts to Erin and her teammates, so she never has to spend much money (not that she has much to spend). Erin isn’t crafty, but she does love Holtz very much, so when she sees something that would make a perfect gift for her girlfriend, she buys it without much regard for the price or the rule. The expensive gift rule is definitely just a suggestion to Erin in terms of how often she actually follows it. 

Makes the other eat breakfast - Both. Holtzmann doesn’t often eat breakfast on her own, simply because she has too much energy and too many thoughts to act on as soon as she opens her eyes in the morning, which prompts Erin to fuss over her and insist she eats. Erin on the other hand tends to only skip breakfast when she’s sad, so Holtz will not only ensure she eats, but prepare a shoulder to cry on just in case. 

Remembers anniversaries - Both. Erin is meticulously organized and dates are her jam. She has everyone’s special dates, including her own, memorized and committed to heart. Holtzmann doesn’t necessarily remember all dates but she definitely remembers the important ones connected to Erin. She remembers the date Erin stormed into her lab, the date they first acknowledged their feelings for each other, the date about a week later when they finally sorted out they could call each other girlfriends, the date they got engaged, and the date they got married. They don’t agree on which one counts as their actual anniversary. Holtz believes all of them do. 

Brings up having kids - Holtzmann. Erin could take or leave having kids; she knows she’ll be perfectly fulfilled and will have gotten what she wanted out of life either way. But Holtz has a very soft and enthusiastic side at the idea of having little beings born of her and Erin. She’s kind of existentially fascinated by the idea of little remnants of Erin being passed down into future generations. She excitedly blurts out something about having kids while doing something fun with Erin and Erin is taken aback (but touched!) when she realizes Holtz is serious. 

[someone-worth-racing-for]

Hey there!

I am quite new here and I was wondering how you got into this fandom. Specially the carlandofandom :)

Also, when did you start writing? I saw your posts the other day about not being able to write all of it, so it somehow triggered me to write some stuff myself (some requests were just too cute).

Havent been properly writing for ages though and I am not quite sure if anybody wants to read my stuff...any advice? Im so indecisive...

Thanks for all your great stories and have nice day :)

Hey you, anonym and especially – welcome to the fandom! 🤗❤️

Oh my God, believe me – you actually don’t want to know how I got to this fandom, it’s such a long story.. You better grab yourself some Coke and popcorn, because this will be a longer one.. 🥤🍿

But alright, everything has begun with that the TWD (The Walking Dead) fandom has started to annoy/boring me, also because the show has become pretty bad and I wanted to leave the sinking ship before it will be too late. That must have been around autumn/winter 2018. During the winter months I really, really love to watch ski jumping, also because it’s pretty popular in my country (Austria). I was already a fan of it since many, many years, but I only became a real fan at that time. I always say I love this sport so much, because those jumps are always so “quickly over” – meaning that I don’t have to wait for too long to find out the results. Yeah, the competition itself isn't that short, but the individual jumps of each athlete are. That’s why I actually “hate” F1 so much, because I have to wait freaking two hours of pure stress, several mental breakdowns and heart attacks later to finally find out who will win, and also because so much can happen during a race, while those ski jumpers are practicing individual – does that make any sense!? However, so I got pretty deep into the ski jumping fandom over that time, especially also here on Tumblr, where I have met a pretty nice girl back then, who had been as thrilled about the fandom as me. But you know, during the summer there aren’t any competitions, so it had been pretty boring in the ski jumping fandom and then suddenly that girl came up with F1.

The first thing I have thought was ‘NO WAY! NEVER EVER!’ – you have to know, I have really hated F1 with a passion before August 2019. I was always making fun of my boyfriend watching those cars driving in circles for two hours. I just couldn’t understand it how someone can watch that voluntary (I sometimes still can’t..😅) and I really, really hated it with everything I had. My boyfriend even was at the Austrian GP in 2019 and back then my biggest nightmare would have been if he would have forced me to come with him (he got there with his father in the end – today I would give everything to get there!)

I remember, we have been on vacation during the beginning of August 2019. We were in a theme park, when my boyfriend said at one point that he will get over to that bench in the shadow under the tree now and watch the qualifying. I have really thought he was kidding me, because I couldn’t understand how the hell someone would watch something so stupid like F1, while being in a freaking theme park. Well, today I would be the one sitting there on the bench, while my boyfriend would probably urge me to please finally stand up so we could go on 😅

That was at the beginning of August 2019 – so I must have slowly but sure fallen for the fandom around 15th of August. And if you believe me or not, but I have neither fallen for Lando nor for Carlos at the first place. It was actually Max, also because he was one of the less drivers I have known next to Lewis, Sebastian, Valtteri (I always had to think about Harry Potter because of Bottas..😂) and probably Nico. But I have actually began to “stalk” when I have got to know about that Max has a little sister and I have found those sweet pics of him with her together (Do you know which pics I mean? You should really check them out – they are so cute). And somehow Lando came into the play as well and so my first story for this fandom resulted. Back then I have really, really thought it would be the first and also last story I will ever publish for this fandom. Well, that didn’t aged well..😅 Somehow my interest grew and grew with every more day stalking the internet for content and by the time of the first race after the summer break, I was already a fan. Spa 2019 has been the first F1 race I have ever watched from the start till the end and I have to say that this weekend has broken me (literally). Of course, because of Anthoine, but also because this time of the year is since 2017 never easy for me and on that weekend also Carlando finally came into the play. Check out this post from a few weeks ago – Carlos’ birthday on Sunday and that Lando has supposedly hugged Carlos after his DNF has really, really touched my heart and since that day these two boys own my heart and I remember, that the next day after the race I have got up at five in the morning to write “Tomorrow will be kinder” – because writing is sometimes my only way to deal with things, so I just had to write my thoughts/feelings down and it was the beginning of something beautiful actually.

But there is one more little story I have to tell you about my F1 past – this story right here is actually one of @hurtsprincess favourite ones. Because back in 2015, when F1 was finally back in Austria again, I was there by the race as probably the biggest F1-hater under all of them. Half of our town and so also most of our friends has got there, so it was kind of peer pressure, why I have finally joined them as well. We had to stand up really, really early – actually it was still in the middle of the night (I think it was three in the morning or so) and got to Spielberg with the bus. It was one of the hottest day of the year back then and after watching “the race of generations” with Niki Lauda, Gerhard Berger and some others and then following also the F3 and F2 races (Me, back in 2015: What do you mean there are races before the actual race? What the hell is F3 and F2?) and because we were so damn tired after standing up so early, most of us, including myself, were sleeping in the meadow during the F1 race. So I have missed over half of the race and I really can’t even remember anymore who has won 😅 But it had still been a funny day for my as a F1-hater, but believe me - if I should ever get to a GP again, this won’t ever happen to me again! 😅 I promise! 🤞🏼

Wow, this has turned out longer than you have actually wanted it, right anonym?! 

Your first question about how I have got into the Carlando fandom is probably answered now and also half of your second question. But I have actually started writing fanfictions back in autumn 2016 for the TWD fandom. I have written overall 16 stories for that fandom and 4 stories in German for the ski jumping fandom, but as much as I have already loved to write fanfictions back then, it only really became my passion and biggest hobby with Carlando. I just can’t stop writing about them, also because they make me so happy and for me so easy with those dorks just being them 😊

Yeah, I’m still very sorry about that I just can’t write stories to all of these great requests, even tho I would really, really like to do - but if you have got inspired by one of these, you should give it a try!

But if you are really that indecisive and shy, you could use the anonymity of the internet for your favor (in this case this posibilty is a good thing - as long as you use your anonymity not for spreading hate/attacking/bullying someone) You know what I mean? I actually did/do that as well. Only three people here on Tumblr know who I really am. Some of you may know from where I am (because I don’t make a secret out of it) and some here even know my name, but that’s it. I don’t share any more personal things about my identity, because I also prefer to stay anonymous here, especially because only my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother know about that I’m writing fanfictions. All those other people I call “friends” don’t know about it or me having this account here and I also don’t want them to know, because they simply wouldn’t understand it.

What I’m trying to say here - if it makes you feel better and also more secure, you could upload your story on AO3 without telling anyone it’s you. Or if you don’t want to post it on AO3 and you also don’t want to post it on your Tumblr account, I offer you to send me your story anonymous. I would post it in your “name” aka anonym, saying that this story isn't mine and you could watch/read the reactions.

You don’t have to lose anything, anonym 😉 I would really, really like to read your story, no matter if you will decide to publish it with your name or anonymous. Because there won’t ever be enough writers out there, blessing us with their great stories. Also because I am as much a passionate reader than a writer. And I’m also pretty sure about that you are talented and also about that your story would be more than just worth reading it 😊

Thank you so much for your message, anonym and I’m sorry my answer turned out to be so long 😅 but I really hope my words have helped you in some way, because I’m pretty sure about that you actually don’t have to have a reason to be that shy and indecisive 😉 Just give it a try, as long as it makes you happy 🤗❤️

[joa-quin-phoe-nix-fan]

Come Back, Joe- Joe FF/imagine (Part 1???)

Come Back, Joe

The room was quiet. The sudden, deafening noise that had just taken over the entire house a moment ago was gone. Now, compared to the silence, the noise felt more like a squeak. Joe stood there, feeling like an elephant in a bird cage, looking at the fallen man before him. The bullet hammer still in his hand, now covered with blood. His head felt fuzzy. This was what usually happened after a job. This time, there was just something so much like someone he knew in that man. He stood still for a while, trying to come back to the world. He needed to get rid of the evidence. He needed to get out of there. He needed to get back to her.

Come back.

Come back!

COME BACK JOE!

Joe is back. He walks around the room, now numb to the carnage. Barely looking at the body, he briskly walked around the room, looking for anything relating to the ex-person lying on the bed, now surrounded by a halo of filthy crimson with bright broken pieces of white, and disgusting grey-pink splats. Any phones, credit cards, ID cards, drivers licenses, even library cards are sometimes used to track people down. Joe collected all of these, very carefully, making sure any blood on them was wiped off so it didn’t drip on the floor. Not because of any cleanliness issues, but because forensic scientists take any drips of blood like that as proof that the room been tampered with. That’s why he always made sure to get as few of those drips as possible. He also made sure it looked a lot more like a robbery that way, if he got rid of all these things, so he also took the mans wallet. Then he opened up the phone, pulling out the SIM card and crushing it in his strong hand. Then snapping the phone itself easily, catching all the bits in a plastic bag that he brought. No matter how much he distracted himself though, he couldn’t ever forget the strangely familiar corpse on the bed.

Avoiding the body like the plague, he shuffled around the room, looking around in case he missed something. As usual, he hadn’t and with a heavy sigh, he left the room, shuffling along slowly, swivelling his head and eyes back and forth like a wild animal, as if he were looking for his next victim. But he wasn’t, he was terrified as he always was after these jobs, that someone had seen him, maybe seen a shadow through the curtains of the windows, maybe he was caught on CCTV, was that mirror double sided? His head spun more and more, making the numb feeling already permeating through his body so much worse. He just kept walking, keeping his eyes glued to the ground, focusing on his feet so he wouldn’t fall over, barely looking up long enough to avoid getting run over. Eventually, he recognized the pavement he walked on, his school road. That meant that there were at least 2 blocks to go before he reached his house. He sped up a tad. Now wanting more desperately than ever to be in her arms again. To hug her, to kiss her, to hold her close to his heart so she could hear how much he loved her.

Finally, his road. As he walked, his shadow rolled from in front of him to behind him again and again as he passed each street lamp. Getting faster and faster as he walked faster and faster.

3

2

1

go left now.

He turned left, knowing exactly where his house was, not needing to look up and see it. He recognized the gravel, the crunch that it made under his weight, the smell of the roses that she grew, the smell of freshly cut grass, the movement, activated lamp that always blinded him when he came back this late.

She knew what he did as a job. She was definitely worried, of course, but he had taught her how to fight, and more importantly, how to win. She waited in the kitchen for him, as she always did, with a warm lemon whisky and lemon mix that they both liked to enjoy. It was indeed hard to tell what Joe enjoyed. He was so quiet and he kept to himself, but Y/N knew how to get him to smile, how to get him to open up, even just a little bit. She had opened a door in his heart and settled in perfectly, no matter how many times Joe said that she wouldn’t enjoy it or his company. She knew what had happened in his childhood and career, she knew about his suicidal thoughts, she knew, even without him telling her, how he felt in any exact moment.

Right now, she knew that Joe was worse that usual, that for whatever reason, this job had affected him more than others. She didn’t need to ask why or whether she was right, she just knew. She stood up from the kitchen island, leaving both mugs there, and walked over to Joe, searching for his eyes carefully. There were no tears yet, but it was only a matter of time. She ran her hands up his shoulders and behind his neck carefully, holding him in a fragile embrace. He looked up slowly, meeting her gaze, he tried to smile tightly, but that only pushed the tears out. All at once, he crumpled to his knees, grabbing her tightly as if she was the last life-vest on a sinking ship and shook terribly, like a mountain during an earthquake. Y/N sat down next to him, still holding him close, stroking his head and whispering softly, “Joe, I’m here...I’m here...don’t worry...” He just kept sobbing and shaking, tears soaking his beard, his hair falling down past his eyes, casting a shadow over his face. Y/N still sat there patiently, waiting for him to be able to stand. “Joe...Joe, listen to me...lets go over to the kitchen island, okay? I have two honey whisky lemons over there for us....honey, I need to shut the door...” hearing this made him move, she knew it would. As he got up slowly and shuffled over to the mugs, sniffing quietly, she slowly pushed the door fully shut and locked it, double checking it as usual. Then, Y/N rushed back over to Joe, making sure he made it to the island in one piece.

He was sitting there as she arrived, still silently sobbing and shaking, his mug barely keeping steady as he tried to hold it. Y/N slowly pushed the mug back down onto the table, he complied sadly, feeling an overwhelming feeling of guilt that she had to take care of him like this. Worried as always that she might love him less if she saw him like this. Y/N saw all of this pass through his eyes and held his hands. Her hands looking like a baby dolls compared to his, she held her hands downwards, linking perfectly with his now upturned hands, her fingers in his palm and his fingers holding up hers. He finally stopped sobbing and looked up to Y/N, meeting her eyes again, tears still unconsciously streaming down his face.

Y/N finally noticed a small amount of blood on his face. She patted his hands lightly, motioning that she was going to get up for a little bit, walked over to the sink, took a paper towel from the roll, dampened it slightly and walked back. By the time she had done all that, she noted that Joe hadn’t moved a muscle. She sighed, worried that her love might be truly broken this time. She would never hear him talk about what he recently read, watched, saw again. The time that she spent with him was so precious, and now she might not have that time ever again. She needed to get him talking. As she wiped away the blood on his face she asked “Do you wanna talk about it tonight? Or would you prefer to go to sleep now?” he thought for a moment, “we can talk...” he mumbled back, “i just dunno what to say.” He slumped into his arms like a bored child, trying to hide his face as much as possible from her. She slumped down in front of him, making sure she always had her eye on him. “Was it a kid?” she inquired softly “no..no...it was a guy...” he muttered, not wanting to remember that night, “Was it someone you knew?” “n-no...well, maybe...but no...b-but...he looked familiar.” he stammered, trying to not ramble. “Ah, I see...who did he look like?” “I-I don’t...know.” he sighed, thinking that she will surely see this as nothing and say that he should just get over it. She had never done that before, but she might this time. She kept going “really rake your brain...who did he look like...why did this affect you so much?” He stopped, looking up now, really trying to think without thinking about how he killed him or about his corpse. He thought about his face compared to the catalogue of faces he knew...then it hit him. That man...he looked like his father. His eyes grew wide and tears welled up again. Everything to do with his dad came rushing back, did he kill his dad? Oh my god was that his dad? He started breathing heavy, Y/N knew she had gone too far and grabbed his hands again. “Joe? Joe listen to me, tell me 5 things you can see. C’mon, just 5 things.” Joe breathed in sharply as he looked around “Umm...I see...you, the blue wall, ummm...a baby cherub statuette, the fireplace annnnd...” he looked around desperately hoping something would jump up to be his fifth thing to see. He looked down “and the mug of honey whisky lemon.” “Okay, that’s very good, breathe with me, slowly and deeply. Four things you can feel?” Joe breathed in deep, looking Y/N straight in the eyes, matching her breathing and concentrating, “I feel, you again...the chair, the island and the space-heater.” “Perfect, we’re almost done, keep breathing with me...three things you can hear.” Joe let out a tiny almost unrecognizable giggle though his tears, realizing that Y/N was in most of them. He didn’t mind though, he liked her. “You, again...the space heater again and...a dog outside.” “Brilliant, two things you can smell?” “You once again, and the lemon honey whisky again.” “And one thing you can taste?” Y/N expected him to sip his lemon-honey but, taking her completely by surprise, Joe reached across the table and kissed her, a slow and romantic kiss filled with true gratefulness and a little bit of sad amusement, showing that, for a moment at least, he had put aside the pain that he felt, only for it to surely resurface another day. But this moment is what really meant a lot for both of them, the upward turn, the moment of healing. Y/N loved these moments because she finally was able to see the wonderful, romantic man she one day wanted to marry, and Joe because, he saw truly how much Y/N had helped him and realized how much he loved her and she just always looked so genuinely happy to help him. “You...” he whispered “there, now you’re in every category...” Y/N giggled softly, thank god her mother taught her those therapeutic tips and tricks. Joe was, of course, broken but when he was this blinded by the love and care given by Y/N he could momentarily forget and hopefully, one day, completely heal.

OMG I'm getting noticed by people! It's kinda scary but I hope y'all like my imagines! You can request stories of any of the characters from my list but you can also request characters that aren't on the list but I might take more time to write it... (also ty @darknessisafriend for reposting my Abbé story! I was honestly inspired by you to start posting!)

[paulinedorchester]

London, July 1943: Excerpt from a work in progress

After nearly twenty minutes, Foyle decides that he might as well walk.

A cab pulls up at the entrance to the Victoria Coach Station every few minutes, but the drivers favour passengers in uniform. Difficult to resent that in wartime, but it quickly becomes clear that they’re really looking for the Americans – ready, willing and able to pay twice the normal fare. There are throngs of them in London: on leave, newly returned from North Africa, giddy with the success of the Sicily landings. Foyle keeps looking for familiar faces but sees none.

It’s barely a mile to Charles and Pamela’s place, if he recalls correctly, and it’s a fine day. After almost three hours cooped up in the coach it’ll do him good to stretch his legs. He hasn’t brought much with him and his suitcase is easy to lift. He picks it up and sets out.

Travel remains slow and uncomfortable, as it has been for the past few years. The discomfort is as much psychological as physical. Posters with such inscriptions as Must you travel? and Is your journey really necessary? are still displayed at every station, and Foyle had weathered a few cold stares from passers-by as he entered the coach stop at Hastings.

But it’s Charles and Pamela’s twentieth wedding anniversary on Saturday, and it had been kind of them to invite him. He really doesn’t feel the need for a change of scene, as they seem to feel he must, but he is curious to know what London looks and feels like with no official duties to discharge, even in the midst of the war.

And the war is everywhere he looks. Westminster has been spared neither bombing nor the depredations of the war effort. The railings have been removed from the familiar public garden he passes as he walks north along Buckingham Palace Road, and the garden has been cut up into allotments.

Buckingham Palace itself, he recalls as he makes his way past it, was hit repeatedly in 1940; it’s hardly a moldering ruin, but clearly only stopgap repairs have been carried out, the King and Queen waiting out the shortage of manpower and materials along with the rest of the country.

And as he walks across the Green Park he sees that it’s the public garden writ large: stripped of ironwork, much of the land being used to grow food.

At length – it’s a longer walk than he’d remembered, after all – he reaches Arlington Street and the drive in front of Arlington House. In 1936 Charles and Pamela had given up the fine Georgian house in Highgate that they’d taken before their son Alan was born and moved into a large flat in this mansion block, just completed at the time in the height of modern style. The move was a practical one, they had said: the place was and is an easy walk from the Admiralty, where Charles’ duties were demanding increasingly long days, and their daughter Averill’s school – now evacuated to Yorkshire – was also fairly close by.

Arlington House still stands, but it’s sandbagged and most of its metal ornament is gone. Some windows on the lower storeys, Foyle observes, have been blown out and boarded up.

‘My name is Christopher Foyle – I’m here to visit Commander and Mrs Howard,’ Foyle tells the elderly porter, who looks him up and down in an appraising way.

‘Yes, sir. They’re expecting someone by that name,’ the porter concedes, sounding a bit skeptical. At once he adds, ‘May I see your identity card, please?’

Foyle had suspected, and still suspects, that Pamela was privately relieved at the end of the Howards’ conventional existence in the suburbs. As he waits for the lift he reflects, not for the first time, that it’s hard to decide which seems more unlikely: her decision to leave her earlier life of vaguely Bohemian gentility for marriage to a Naval officer, or Charles’ choice of her as his wife.

Not that they aren’t well suited. They were both born into well-to-do families whose fortunes had been made during the previous century from the more refined aspects of trade: fine printing and engraving in the Howards’ case, textiles for the Fourniers. Pamela’s parents, though tolerant of their daughter’s artistic inclinations, had put the kibosh on her youthful ambition to become a ballet dancer.

Of age by the time the last war began, she had joined the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry, driving an ambulance between Calais and a point that was often unnervingly close to the front. After the war she’d been one of the countless women to whom marriage had seemed an unlikely prospect, if only given the small number of surviving men. Although she had no real need to earn her own living she’d found a position at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden, as a Deputy Company Manager, the first woman ever to fill that role.

And then, one evening in 1922, she’d somewhat reluctantly accompanied her father to a banquet at Drapers’ Hall. There she had been seated to the left of 1st Lt Charles Howard, R.N., a junior executive officer in attendance to represent the office that supplied Naval uniforms, still a bachelor at nearly thirty-two. (Foyle has never been entirely clear about how old Pamela is.) They were married nine months later. The wedding was a spectacular business in a Regency chapel of ease in St John’s Wood; Andrew, five years old and saucer-eyed throughout his first visit to London, had been a pageboy.

The brevity of their courtship had caused some talk, according to Rosalind. Still, it was a conventionally appropriate match – but also, Foyle knows, a very happy one. Pamela found Charles bright, witty and kind as well as quite handsome. His determination to remain in the Navy – in the teeth of his family’s expectation that, as the only surviving son, he would return to civilian life and enter the family business – had struck a chord with her, even as the novelty of life as a mildly rebellious bachelor girl with a toe in the demi-monde was beginning to wear off. Charles’ sense of duty was counterbalanced, and his own long-neglected aesthetic interests reawakened, by Pamela’s creative impulses and artistic connections.

It is Pamela herself who answers the door of the flat and laughs gently when her brother-in-law is unable to conceal his surprise.

‘Jill was called up,’ she explains, ‘and there’s really no hope of replacing her. They’ve all been called up! Not to worry, though — I haven’t yet taken over the kitchen. Mrs Ellis is still with us, bless her, so we won’t starve! It’s awfully good to see you, Christopher, and I’m very glad you’ve come. It means a great deal to Charles, as it does to me.’

Rosalind and Pamela had taken to each other at once, and became quite firm friends, Foyle recalls.

Mrs Ellis brings in tea, apologises for its meagerness and withdraws to the kitchen.

‘Would you care for something a bit stronger than mere tea?’ Pamela enquires. ‘I can imagine that you might need it, after travelling in this day and age. There’s no whiskey of any description, I’m afraid, but we do have a bottle of rather good Portuguese sherry.’

‘Well, um, perhaps a very small glass. Thank you.’

Sounding less facetious, she asks after Andrew.

‘He’s, um, he’s well,’ Christopher replies. ‘Not that it’s easy on him – not that I wouldn’t prefer to see him in some sort of nice, safe job at a desk – but he holds up all right on the whole. How’s Alan?’

‘Happy as the day is long — adores the Royal Naval College, talks constantly about the Painted Hall, and is quite convinced that we’ll win the day just as soon as he’s on active service!’

‘That’ll be, um, another two years, won’t it?’

‘Quite right,’ Pamela says dryly. ‘A bit long to wait, in my opinion. He has a chit for the week-end. He’s asked after you.’

‘It’ll be very good to see him. What about Averill?’

‘I’m afraid not — she won’t be here, I mean. Keighly’s a long way off, fifteen’s a bit young for such a long journey on one’s own — as I see it, at any rate — and they’re keeping those girls busy year ’round there. We haven’t seen her since Easter — and we went there. Quite a trek in these conditions! But there’s some good news on that score — the school’s coming back to London in September. I don’t know that I was meant to tell you that,’ she adds, ‘but there it is.’

‘Is that wise?’

‘Charles and I have had a few conversations about that, I can tell you! But Keighly’s not all that far from either Bradford or Leeds, and they’ve both been Blitzed. I suppose that the governors think that they may as well take their chances! In any case the decision’s been made — and it’ll be marvelous to have her home.’

‘Of course. I understand you have a new job,’ Christopher adds.

‘Yes. I’m afraid I wasn’t much good at making Sten guns — they showed me the door, Christopher, to be perfectly honest! — so I’ve joined CEMA as a sort of manager-at-large.’

Christopher frowns, puzzled.

‘Seema?’ he asks. ‘Oh, the Committee, um... ’

‘Or the Council, as it is now, for the Encouragement of Music and Arts.’

‘That part of the Government?’

‘No, not as such. It was run strictly on private funds at first, but Parliament has awarded us a hundred thousand pounds per annum — and Mr Bevin absolutely loathes us!’ Pamela adds with great glee. ‘Some of the people we’ve reached,’ she continues, sounding more serious now, ‘have never seen a live performance of anything before — they’ve simply never had the opportunity — unless it was the village amateur dramatic society, I suppose. It’s truly wonderful, Christopher — we’ve had letters from people who tell us that we’ve opened up whole new worlds for them! War does break down barriers — as dreadful as it is to think of it doing anything beneficial!’

‘I’ve often heard – um, the young woman who was my driver – I’ve often heard her say much the same thing.’

‘Would that be Miss Stewart?’

‘Oh – yes.’

‘We’ve heard some very encouraging things about her.’ Pamela smiles and sips her tea. ‘As it happens, CEMA is looking for a regional officer for the Hastings area. We have someone in Brighton, but she has her hands full with that region — and she’s expecting a baby in January.’

‘This a paying position?’

‘Oh, of course! Not lavishly, I’ll admit — two guineas per week to start with, plus travel expenses.’

‘That isn’t too bad,’ Christopher considers. ‘If I can think of a likely candidate I’ll let you know.’

‘I’d be quite grateful for that.’

Modern as the flat may be, it has a hearth and a mantel, with a clock sitting atop the latter that now strikes the hour.

‘Charles promised to come home at a reasonable time today,’ Pamela notes. ‘Christopher, I ought to tell you that he left here this morning in — I was about to say “in a foul mood,” but “in a highly unsettled state” might be a better way of describing it.’

‘What about?’ her brother-in-law asks, trying and failing to picture this.

‘I don’t know! I can tell you what brought it on, though — a letter that arrived in the morning post. But I didn’t see it — not the letter itself, I mean — and Charles didn’t tell me what was it said. All I know is that it seemed to agitate him a good deal. He took it away with him. Well, when I say that I didn’t see it, what I mean is that I didn’t read it,’ she goes on. ‘Of course I didn’t. But I did see that it was typed — on rather better paper than one is accustomed to seeing nowadays, and that the paper was marked.’

Christopher smiles dimly.

‘I’m no longer with the police, Pamela,’ he reminds her.

‘Well, no. I know that, of course. But isn’t it interesting, nonetheless?’

‘Depends on what’s in it.’

When the door to the flat opens a few minutes later; Pamela excuses herself and goes into the hall to greet her husband. Foyle hears both of them saying his name, and Charles using the words apologise and upset. After a few moments the Howards return to the sitting room.

‘Christopher! Wonderful to see you! Thank you so very much for joining us,’ Charles begins, shaking his brother-in-law’s hand. ‘How was your journey up? We’ve been hearing the most terrible stories,’ he goes on. On the surface he’s the same as ever, but something has changed behind his kind eyes. Something has rattled him.

‘Oh, can’t complain,’ Christopher replies.

Charles asks after Andrew and – with a vagueness that seems almost deliberate, as though the subject were slightly too indelicate to bring up – enquires as to whether Christopher is keeping himself satisfactorily occupied these days. These subjects having been discussed, there is a short silence during which he looks first pensive, then determined.

‘Pamela tells me that she’s put you in the picture about my... well, my loss of an even keel this morning.’

‘Well, um, she told me that it occurred,’ Christopher replies.

‘Mm. There was a letter in the morning post that gave me quite a shock. As the day went on, though, it dawned on me that it concerns both of you as well,’ Charles continues, glancing at Pamela and then back to Christopher. ‘Please correct me if I’m wrong, Christopher, but I don’t believe that you ever met my brother – and of course I know that you never did, Pamela.’

‘Knew him only by reputation,’ Christopher affirms. Captain Nicholas Howard, 4th Battalion, Royal Surrey Regiment, had been killed in action on the first day of the Battle of the Somme and was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross.

‘Yes. Well. It seems that there was at least one thing about him that I didn’t know either.’ Charles falls silent again, looking perplexed. He reaches inside his jacket, brings out an envelope and removes its contents, which he offers to his wife and brother-in-law. ‘Perhaps it would be best if you both simply read this.’

He watches for a moment as Pamela and Christopher stand side by side, each holding an edge of the letter paper, taking in its contents. Then he looks out of a window.

[47pictures]

“All-Star”

Link to original r/nosleep post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mv9j9a/for_my_blog_i_toured_a_movie_studio_to_find_the/

________________________________________________________________

I finally made it to Hollywood… at least, I suppose that’s what I’d say if I were trying to make it big. That wasn’t exactly the case, though. On the contrary, my old hometown friend was the one who I’d say ‘made it big,' and she was the only reason I managed to get there. No way in hell I could just stroll through these Hollywood gates without some sort of reputation associated with my name.

I’m currently pursuing a degree in journalism, and right now I’ve got a pretty successful status as a blogger, and hopefully podcaster in the near future. My topics typically cover things involving entertainment, specifically movies, television, some celebrity gossip here-and-there, the ins and outs of the film and occasionally music industry, nerd topics about comic books or comic book movies, and I could go on. Essentially, all the things you’d expect from an entertainment blogger.

I don’t have a secret or special tip for how I grew a mass following. It just sort of happened. I did it since I was in high school - sophomore year, to be exact, and it started mainly as a hobby. Most people are surprised to hear that I was such a good writer and articulate for my age when they look back on the articles I’d put up during that time, speaking on topics such as the ‘downfall of blockbuster films,’ and the ‘toxicity of media's body standards on the youth.’ Truthfully, I didn’t know all of what I was saying half the time. Writing was sort of just my natural gift that I honed to where I could essentially bullshit anything well enough to make a great story. However, being ethical always remained my moral code.

The topic I was covering now involved my own personal ‘investigation’ of a famous movie studio known as Gemini Films. They’ve put out several flicks now that have garnered what most would consider moderate success (they're no Warner Bros. or Paramount, that's for sure). They deal mostly in the thriller/horror genre, sort of like Blumhouse. I’m a bit more in the sci-fi, comedy realm when it comes to my tastes, but really, I’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to scary stuff.

So why am I 'investigating' them? Well, as it turns out, it's their amazing use of special effects. Yep, that’s it. Special effects, that thing we fell for as children we called ‘movie magic,' and growing up learned that some of it were all the crafty work of well-put CGI. Though that’s usually the case, this time, something about Gemini Films seemed different. They’ve always been praised for their ‘hyperrealistic’ visual effects and pulling off stunts that would otherwise seem impossible. I was watching one of their action/horror films titled Last Thorn, and in a particular scene, a character’s on-screen death is, well, very lightly put, gruesome. I’ve seen my share of on-screen gore and played plenty of Mortal Kombat growing up, but I gotta say, I found the scene hard to watch. To clarify, it involved a character literally exploding before the camera, and from the way it was shot and the lack of cuts and edits typically required to create the illusion of a scene, it seemed quite real. A little too real…

They’ve done other things aside from their special effects department that some people on internet discussion forums found a bit too impressive. Take the actors, for instance. In their dramatic scenes, especially the horror flicks, I’m almost always convinced that the actors are actually going to die on screen. I’m surprised all of them haven’t been given Oscars yet, ‘cause goddamn, you’d think the director was holding them at gunpoint. We all saw just how amazing the acting was in films like Hereditary and The Babadook were, but I gotta say, after watching these films, they make those two look like child’s play (no pun intended to the Chucky series). I was so impressed with the actors that I had to look them up and see what other work they’d done, but from what I did find, their resumes didn’t seem that much greater than the work they’d done for GF. It was almost as if that was the peak of their careers unless they decided to further their contracts to star in any more of their movies. Anything else they did pale in comparison that showcased their acting chops.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jamie Douglas.

It had somewhat of household name potential, I thought. She was the next rising star. She’d just won a Golden Globe for her leading role in a TV series I’m sure no one had high hopes for in the beginning, and her name was now attached to an Academy Award-winning film for Best Original Screenplay, all at the age of 22. Her acting was stellar, always had been even growing up back in high school when we did theater together. I was never for the acting side of things; I always preferred the technical realm and behind-the-scenes work. She, however, had the ‘it’ factor. I never once doubted that she’d be famous. It was destined for her.

The taxi driver dropped me off in front of a luxurious one-story home in the Beverly Hills neighborhood, surrounded by other similar houses with a property value larger than what I’d probably make in my lifetime if I was being honest. From the outside, her home reminded me of that gilded, golden age of Hollywood back in the 60s, with a slanted roof and art deco-styled exaggerated features. It was nice and simple. But that’s how Jamie was. Nice and simple.

I could see her peeking through the curtains of her window before she came running out the door to meet me in the front yard. That big beautiful smile and those joyous eyes came rushing at me with open arms.

“Christian!” she screamed my name with excitement, as she gave me a big, suffocating hug.

I hugged her back with my free arm, as my other one was still carrying my trolley bag and she had that one pinned in her grip.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, I made it to Hollywood, right?” I dryly humored.

Jamie giggled as she began to pull back from her hug and put both her hands on my shoulders.

“Yes we did,” she said with a big smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “We sure did.”

She led me inside the house and gave me a tour. Compared to the outside, the inside was the complete opposite in regards to the decorative era. Whereas the exterior was ‘groovy’, the inside was a bit more with the times. Wide-open spaces, tan or beige-colored furniture and walls, a wide sliding door for the backyard where you can see the pool. Jamie recently moved into the house, so I figured there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill it up with just yet.

“Someone said Bette Davis used to live in this house, which I knew was bullshit, otherwise the value on this home woulda been way outta my league,” Jamie commented.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think you’re well on your way, trust me,” I reassured.

I was going to be staying with her for a week while I did my journaling/blogging. We did tons of catching up. She gave me all the inside scoop of what goes on in Hollywood - or ‘Hollyweird’ as I liked to call it - and even some of her other famous neighbors you might recognize living double lives on the down-low. She said she’d been to a couple of big mansion parties as well, where you’ll see all sorts of celebs from different categories of entertainment. Actors, athletes, musicians, models, influencers, you name it. But Jamie insists that she doesn’t attend those very often, if hardly at all. She prefers to be a homebody when she’s not seeking work through her agent, and her extraversion mostly comes to play when it involves networking.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the night we stayed up watching TV and YouTube videos. One that fascinated both of us was a video explaining how scientists managed to find a way to make a perfectly cooked steak from a cow, but without actually harming or slaughtering it. Instead, they extracted a small sample of the cow’s cells and took it to a lab where the cells would essentially grow into muscle for it to be cooked later.

“I’d consider that over going vegan,” Jamie said.

But I grimaced at the thought. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right,” I remarked.

"What, are you vegan?"

"No, not that. Just the thought of cloning animals, ya know?"

“I mean, it’s not like they’re killing the cow or anything. They said it’s perfectly unharmed.”

“I know, but still…”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning was day one for me. Jamie had the right connections to get me an on-set tour of the studio lots associated with Gemini Films. I was greeted and led by the third assistant director (or AD as they’re commonly referred to).

“Hi, I’m Tiffany, nice to meet you,” she said, with a rather forced smile and handshake.

She carried a clipboard in her other arm, as well as a hand-held radio clipped to the pocket of her jeans, and I saw that she also had an earpiece nestled in her right ear. I could tell she was about her business and probably didn’t have time to be overly nice or talk too much.

I got a sneak peek of their most current production under the production title *"*Cold Silence", which required me to sign an NDA beforehand, of course. That wasn't actually their final name for the movie, but it's a common thing for them to do when shooting a film when either they haven't decided on a name yet or to keep the nature of the project a secret. It sort of took me back to my theater tech days with all the set designs and props lying around, except these were much more detailed and intricate thanks to their higher budget than what my high school had at the time. Here, there was limitless potential. Tiffany also introduced me to the other ADs, PAs, boom operators, cameramen, make-up artists, and then last but certainly not least, the director.

“Jeffrey?” Tiffany called to the man sitting in the director’s chair. The man turned to face her and then me. “This is Christian Watkins. He’s the man we’re giving a behind-the-scenes scoop for his… blog?” She looked to me for confirmation, to which I nodded. “Yeah, for his blog.”

The man in the big chair stood up with a cool smile and classy charm and extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, nice to meet you,” the man spoke in a tenor pitch. “Jeffrey Bachmann,” he introduced himself.

I didn’t take too much time last night trying to read up on his bio, but from what I could tell at first glance I knew that he was about in his mid to late fifties, as his hair was greying and skin was starting to wrinkle, and I could see that he had a surprisingly calm and laid-back demeanor. Surprising to me, at least. I always thought directing was a high-paced, chaotic mess that never ceased to present a myriad of complications onset that’d make any man want to pull their hair out. But Jeffrey seemed calm, collected, and very personable.

“Hi, thank you for having me,” I replied. “Seriously, this is like a really cool opportunity for me and my blog.”

“Hey man, it’s my pleasure,” Jeffrey said. “I heard you got a big following behind your name. Props to you. I respect the work ethic, especially giving your readers what they really want to see, ya know?”

I shrugged modestly. “Well thank you, but this time was mostly in my own interest to seek out this idea for my current blog,” I said.

“Ah, an interest in GF, huh?” Jeffrey replied. “Well, what would you like to know? We’ve got nothing but time today. In fact, we’re just getting ready to shoot the mangle scene for today and then we’ll wrap it up before we review the dailies.”

“Mangle scene?”

“Oh yeah, if you’ve got a weak stomach or aren’t into gore you don’t have to watch.”

At least he gave me discretion. “Hmm, I think I’ll tough this one out,” I said. “For the blog.”

Jeffrey gave me a sincere but slightly unsettling grin. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

He was a nice guy so far, but you know how you just meet certain people that for whatever reason, out of their control, their aura seems off? Maybe it was my preconceived notion and warranted cynicism I had of people working in Hollywood. Just a bunch of sharks in a pool with hungry eyes for desperate young talents eager to take a dive in the spotlight. But as I’d imagine with any field, there had to be a decent share of lambs among the many wolves.

Suddenly, one of the makeup artists scampered over to us, their attention directly at Jeffrey.

“Hey,” they said to him with a noticeably fake inflection.

“Hey, what's up?” Jeffrey returned.

“Savannah? She’s losing it back there. Said she wants to talk to you and only you.”

Jeffrey nodded. “Don’t worry, I got it,” he said, as he patted his hand on the MUAs shoulder. He then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Christian, duty calls, but hey, Tiffany?” he looked to the stern AD. “Make sure he gets a front-row view for the martini shot.”

“Yes sir,” Tiffany replied.

Jeffrey and the MUA stepped off to handle whatever business needed handling regarding one of the actresses backstage in the dressing room.

“Martini shot?” I asked.

“Last shot for the day,” Tiffany explained. “For me, that’s a term I like to take literally.”

She seemed so serious all this time that I found the joke almost funny.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was now quiet on the set. Shooting was about to start shortly. At this point in the movie, the main character has a stand-off that turns into a big fight scene with the main bad guy at a warehouse factory building. At first, there’s a gunfight, then eventually they both run out of ammo and it comes down to a fistfight before finally having a standstill on top of a rail just over a giant industrial shredder.

Right now, the actor playing the bad guy, Will, is hanging on for his life over the rail above the shredder, while Thomas, the main good guy, is standing over him victoriously. My question was, is the shredder real? ‘Cause it sure as hell looks like it. It wasn’t turned on yet, but just from a glance it seemed legit enough that if I dropped something as sturdy as a microwave in there, it’d come out jelly on the other end.

For the blog, I told myself. For the blog…

Suddenly, my suspicions were confirmed once Jeffrey called to have the shredder turned on. The machine roared to life, the inverting sharp metal gears rotating past each other being a black hole eating everything that passes through it with no escape. Holy shit. It was actually fucking real.

Jeffrey gave the nod to the 1st AD, and the AD returned the same.

“Action!” the AD called.

Based on what Jeffrey showed me from the script, Thomas is supposed to stomp on Will’s hand that’s gripping onto the edge of the rail, causing him to fall to his death into the shredder. The camera was now rolling, yet, I didn’t see Thomas do the deed. Was he pausing for dramatic effect? Was he acting for the camera? I wasn’t quite sure why he was hesitating.

I peaked over to notice that Jeffrey, the once calm and collected man I met backstage earlier, was now beginning to seem noticeably impatient and about to snap at any moment. There was now that dark edge I noticed about him from before but couldn’t quite put a finger on that I could see now coming to light.

Hesitation filled Thomas’ veins, about to raise his foot, then not, dragging on the scene longer than intended. From this distance, I tried to see Will’s own expression, and I regret ever doing so. Surely he was acting, but I’ll be damned, it was too good. Whatever fear he portrayed transmuted itself into me now. It was the kind of fear that I didn’t think could be replicated on command. Jeffrey stood up from his seat, but just before he could say anything or call ‘cut’, Thomas stomped his foot down on Will’s hand, and we all watched as his fingers slip from the railing. Will sent out a bloodcurdling scream as he plummeted to his ‘death’. What followed will haunt me forever.

Do you know what it sounds like to have a person’s body mangled to death? Have you bitten into the bone of any sort of meat? Heard and felt the crunch? Or maybe even the crunch of celery? I myself have never broken a single bone in my body, but imagining what it might sound like other than what I’d heard in movies or video games all seemed elementary now. At first, I had to look away, but what forced me out of my seat to leave was Will’s horrifying screams. He’d fallen feet first into the shredder, so his lower body had to suffer first before reaching his upper body and finally silencing him at the head.

I ran to find the nearest trashcan and hurled. I guess I really didn’t have the stomach for gore, at least, not to this degree. Will’s screams kept looping in my head. It was a new primal sound that evoked a dread within me that I wish I never discovered. The sound of torment. One thing was for sure, Will was one fucking hell of an actor - if this was acting. But the shredder…

It seemed so real. And there was no greenscreen besides the ones to be used for the background later in post-production. I saw him fall right into the damn thing. With my own eyes. In living color. There were no edits, no crazy tricks, no lighting effects. There couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was sitting down trying to recuperate, as everyone else around me was wrapping up set for the day. Tiffany came over and handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it.

“You feelin’ better?” she asked.

“Hmm,” I answered with a scoff, raising both my eyebrows and taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m surprised you stuck around if you had such a weak stomach. I mean, he at least warned you.”

“I usually don’t. But that?” I shook my head. “How do you guys do it? It looked so real.”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I almost vomited too my first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

If it was a shame to flinch at something so vile, I don’t wanna know what goes on in Jeffrey’s mind to even come up with such a scene. Speaking of which, I still didn’t get a one-on-one interview with him as I’d hoped. All I had was the end result of his ‘movie magic’, but not how he did it. At this point, I'm not sure I really wanna know.

I went to go get my belongings, which were left in one of the dressing rooms, and was stopped by the sound sniffling from the one a couple doors ahead of mine. I looked on the door to read whose room it belonged to. It read: SAVANNAH YOUNG. She was one of the lead actresses in the movie, or rather I should say the only actress in the whole film. With the makeup artist and Jeffrey thing that happened earlier, it was evident to me that something sour had gone on behind the scenes I didn’t know about.

The door was cracked open and I couldn’t see her face entirely from my view, but I knew she was sobbing. She looked to be sitting in front of her mirror. I was about to just ignore it and go on about my business.

I lightly knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” I asked.

She stopped and I could hear her get up and approach the door. She pulled it back just enough to where I could see her whole face. She was beautiful, just like Jamie, even if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah said. “Thank you.”

There was a brief awkward moment of silence between us. Clearly, she wasn’t fine, but I didn’t wish to pry any further than that.

“Are you one of the new PAs?” she asked. I arched a brow. “Production assistant?” she clarified.

“Oh, no, I’m just a visitor,” I assured. “Writing for my blog. I was supposed to be writing about behind-the-scenes things and how it all works around here, but I bitched out from the ‘mangling scene’.”

Savannah gave a short nod. “I see,” she said. “Well… I don’t blame you.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or just from the state that I was in, but her words gave me chills.

“I should get going,” I told her. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and then shut the door.

I got my stuff from the dressing room and got ready to head out. I wonder what could’ve made Savannah so down to where the director had to get involved and set her straight. Jeffrey seemed pleasant to work with at first glance, but who knows, maybe he had a mean streak to him after all, especially the way he looked during the shooting of the scene. God, I just wanted to forget about it. I can’t unhear the sounds. The bones crunching, the blood splattering, and the screaming. The fucking screaming…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I was leaving the studio lot, I noticed the cleaning crew of two men dump a large amount of black bags in the dumpster. From the way they swung the bags over into the bin, the shit didn’t seem light. The bags were in several different sizes, some small, some big, some disproportionate. I stood there and watched as the two men finished disposing of the junk and walked away to go about their other duties.

Regular, common sense me would’ve just picked up the phone, called Jamie to let her know I’m ready to get picked up, and go about my day. But the nosy blogger me kept itching…

I made sure the coast was clear and made my way over to the bin. I can’t believe I was actually dumpster diving, and for what? What did I really expect to find? In my head, I knew the answer, but was avoiding it, either out of how ridiculous it may sound or, God forbid, I was right.

The trash wasn’t stacked high enough from the bottom for me to simply reach, so I had to literally get in there myself. I climbed over on the other end, raised the lid, and jumped down on the piles of plastic bags, holding the lid up with my arm and my breath so I didn’t get a huge whiff of the smell. Though, if I did need to puke again, I supposed this would be the place to do it.

I immediately noticed the bags the men threw away, but in order for me to check what was inside, I’d have to crouch down and let the lid close on me. Fine. That’s what the flashlight on my phone was for. Surrounded in darkness and garbage now, I turned the flash on, illuminating the four dirty walls around me and I pulled back one of the bags. I felt around to try and see what sort of contents might be inside. Mush. It felt all mushy with chunks of solid and a little bit of liquid.

This was stupid, I thought. I realized how stupid I probably looked right then and there, sitting in a bin full of filth looking for clues like some sort of private detective. My followers have no idea how far I’d go, but this was ridiculous. Oh well, I’m too deep in it now, no pun intended.

I held my phone in my mouth as I used my hands to rip open the plastic. My heart began pounding as I slowly pried the bag open. Once I got a peek inside, shame and embarrassment came over me.

Food.

I should’ve just called Jamie to come get me. Had I really become that desperate? I threw the bag over and out of my way. Then I noticed the bag underneath had trickles of fluid. Curious, I shined the light down on it. They were red trickles. Considering how I’d just overreacted only to find a bag full of thrown out lunch, I wasn’t about to get all up in arms about finding red drops behind a Hollywood studio lot. I didn’t know the full recipe for fake blood, but if I recall correctly, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate when they filmed the shower scene from Psycho.

I tried to follow the small trail and see if it led to another bag. I slowly pointed the light further up and it led me to the bag just behind the one I tossed to the side. Looks like it had a small bust that caused it to leak. When I pulled this one over, a very noticeable smell filled my nostrils and erased any other scent of the trash that surrounded me. It was a metallic, rusty sort of odor, like copper from a penny. However, that smell also belonged to something else…

I ripped open the bag, and with the shine of my light beaming down, I was welcomed to a bright crimson sight of mashed blood and guts. It had to be fake, I thought. It had to… but the way I recoiled from the putrid metallic fresh scent of carnage, my primal instincts told me that wasn’t the case. I innately knew that it was real. I was staring at Will’s mangled body.

Frozen from fear, I sat there for who-knows-how-long. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d call the cops first, of course, but they would need evidence, and even then they’d probably dismiss me after I told them I dove into the dumpster of a movie set where fake blood is a common prop. I’d tell Jamie the same, but she’d look at me crazy, too.

I unlocked my phone and started snapping pictures. As much as I could. I even opened some other bags and did the same. I tried to snap every bit of remains that was left of Will and saved them into my phone. It felt like a sick test to see how long I could hold my breath so I wouldn’t gag, and I think I broke a new record that day.

I snapped probably about 47 pictures on my phone before I finally shot up and threw open the bin. The wave of fresh air hit me like a truck, and enjoyed it for only a brief second before turning to see Jeffrey, Tiffany, and the other AD standing by his side. My soul left my body right then and there.

“Christian?” Jeffrey said, sounding concerned.

Fucking say something, I told myself. I did my best not to stutter and look stupid.

“Hey, Jeff,” I said, raising the inflection of my voice, probably sounding dumb.

“Going for a swim there?” Jeffrey joked.

I fake laughed, then put on my best acting skills. “I cannot for the life of me find my ring.”

“Your ring?”

“Yeah, my mom’s ring?”

Then, with the slick subtle motion, I hid my hands to where they couldn’t see them behind the walls of the bin, and with careful coordination used my fingers on my right hand to pull the ring I already had on and flicked it down onto the trash below. I shuffled my feet over the bags I stood on to make noise so they wouldn’t hear the ring drop. Please God, don’t let the ring hit the hard bottom floor or one of the rusty walls, I thought. To my relief, it didn’t.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Christian, I haven’t seen it,” Jeffrey said, as he looked at the other two as they also shook their heads. “But we can definitely look around again and let you know if we find anything.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying not to make my voice tremble with anxiety.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get you outta there,” Jeffrey said, waving his hand over.

I nodded and shot a quick timid smile. I climbed out of the bin and faced the three before me, wiping myself down.

“Hands a little messy there,” Jeffrey said.

Anxiety raced through me again, but adrenaline had my back to make sure I didn’t fuck up by saying anything dumb.

“Oh, the fake blood?” I chortled. “Yeah, you guys lots of that shit in there. Smells like a chocolate factory.”

Jeffrey fell for it, and laughed. Good. But he could just as easily be playing me right now.

“Given how you ran off earlier back there I’m surprised you can stand to look at it, better yet, touch it,” he remarked.

“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered but stayed on track. “It’s just… I now see for myself, no one does it like GF.”

“Haha, you don’t have to flatter me to get back my respect. Don’t sweat it. I totally understand.”

Is that so? I thought.

“You could use that martini shot right about now, huh?” Tiffany joked.

Definitely not with her any time soon. Or any of them, for that matter.

“Well we’re just heading out for the day, you got a ride?” said Jeffrey.

“Yeah, I should probably call Jamie now and let her know I’m done,” I replied.

“It’s no problem, man, I can give you a lift. I can drop you off wherever you need me to.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I insist-”

“Jamie and I got a spa appointment to catch in a bit. Otherwise I appreciate the offer.”

Jeffrey had a brief look in his eyes, a glint of what I could only compare to a wolf’s gaze hiding behind that sheep’s clothing he carried himself around as, and then smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Christian,” he said. “Once again, nice to meet you and I hoped you enjoyed the tour, and hopefully make some good content for your blog.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Thank you so much again. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing, Chris,” Jeffrey said, throwing me off a bit. “Can I call you, Chris?’

I shrugged. “Sure. I mean, I called you Jeff by accident,” I said.

“It’s fine. Chris and Jeff it is.”

I needed to get away from here. Now and as fast as possible. But I still needed to do one more thing.

“Any chance I can wash these off inside?” I said, raising my bloodied hands.

“Oh of course,” Jeff said.

“I can lead him back,” Tiffany said, ready to go with, but Jeffrey stopped her.

“Ah, he knows his way in, right?” Jeff looked to me for reassurance.

“Yeah,” I answered confidently.

“Good, well hopefully I’ll see you around, Chris, and you enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, Jeff. And you all do the same.”

As I walked past them and towards the studio lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being set up. Why hadn’t he let Tiffany escort me back inside? I’d think that would be customary for them to do for visitors entering and exiting the building. But I felt that they were watching me from behind, and with every step, I grew more and more anxious.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’d made it inside and the lot was now nearly empty and quieter. I didn’t see a single person in sight, and only a few lights remained on, making it mostly dark. I hurried the fuck up and did what I came to do, as I didn’t wanna be here any longer and didn’t feel safe.

Down the hall where the dressing rooms were, I rushed over to Savannah’s door, and saw that it was closed. I tried opening it only to see it was locked. Looking down, there was no light shining through the cracks either, meaning there was no one inside. She wasn’t there. Shit.

I washed my hands in the bathroom, scrubbing the dried blood off as thoroughly as possible, getting under nails and all, cringing at the thought of it being Will’s. Suddenly, I heard a noise from outside the hall leading to the bathroom. Petrified, my heart sank into my chest, and I froze. I shut the water off, and carefully approached the door. I listened for any other sounds as I placed my ear closer. After a few moments, I heard the noise again, but then realized that it seemed to be coming from one of the dressing rooms just outside in the hall.

Since I carry a notebook around most of the time for jotting down notes, I certainly always carry a pen. What most people don’t know is that I carry a military tactical pen for a variety of uses, and in times like these, it can be used as a subtle but effective weapon. I switched the tip from an ink ball to a small slick blade.

I opened the bathroom door and crept through the hall over to the dressing room door that made the noise, holding the pen underneath the breast pocket of my sweater. On the outside of the door, it read, “WILL BANKS.”

Confused, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Common sense me once again kept barking in my brain telling me to GTFO, but I had to be sure. I gave three shy knocks and waited. There was definitely someone in there because whatever noise I thought I heard from behind came to an utter halt. I could hear faint whispers of someone’s voice, and then another. There was more than one. My hand trembled as it tightly gripped the pen underneath with sweat as I heard whoever it was on the other end of the door approach.

It swung open, and there stood Will Banks, the man whose blood was just on my hands moments ago, alive and well, in the flesh. It couldn’t be, I thought to myself.

“Can I help you?” he said.

I just stood there, baffled, without answering. Behind him, I saw Savannah, who instantly recognized me and came over.

“Hi,” she said. “I thought everyone left.” She looked to Will. “He was visiting the set today for his vlog, or I’m sorry, blog.”

Will nodded, understanding now. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you. Will Banks,” he said, pointing at his name on the door. “As you can see.” Savannah chuckled, and Will extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, or Chris,” I said, releasing the pen from inside my sweater and reaching my own hand out to take his. "Whichever you please."

He had a firm shake, and it felt uncanny considering what I’d just witnessed. I was touching him, feeling his skin and bone underneath, the warmth of his body temperature through the flesh. He was real. He was alive and breathing. That couldn’t be faked. That couldn’t be a visual effect. This was real. After we let go, suddenly my hand went cold. Everything about this seemed off and downright strange.

“Did you stick around for the shoot?” Will asked.

“I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, what’d you think?”

I wanted to say so many things right then and there, he had no idea.

“Um... y’all are some damn good actors,” I said.

Will laughed a bit, accepting my sham form of flattery, but Savannah, not so much. She gave one of those forced gestures as to not make it feel awkward, though, I noticed it right away.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“I would give you some artistic bullshit answer like ‘study your craft’ or ‘years of training,' things like that, but honestly… it just kinda clicks, ya know?”

I fake chuckled. “No, I don’t. It looked kinda real from my end. Too real, I might add. Care to go into detail how you guys pulled it off?”

“Well, uh-”

Savannah interrupted. “Wait, you know what Jeffrey would say,” she whispered to him.

“I know, but it’s for his blog,” Will argued.

“But still.”

“I mean, Jeffrey’s not here, right?” I chimed in.

They both looked at me, then at each other. There seemed to be some sort of nonverbal understanding between them, and Will looked back at me.

“All right, for the sake of your blog, I’ll give you what I can to the best of my wording, that sound good?” Will proposed.

I took the pen back out from inside, switching it to the ink ball with a short click, and whipped out my small notebook. “Hit me,” I said.

“Get ready for this one. Basically, we’ve been using a new thing in the biz lately sort of like mocap but it’s not exactly. It’s also kinda like hologram sort of tech?”

“Really?” I said, eyes widened with interest as I wrote words down.

“Yep. That’s how we did it. What you saw, was as real as the hologram thingamajig allowed you to.”

“Hmm.”

“The shredder, too.”

“What?”

“The shredder. That was a hologram also.”

“Really? Okay…”

I finished writing on my notepad then turned it so that Will could read it.

BITE ME, I wrote with a big circle around it.

He laughed. Savannah did, too, but, again, in a strange nervous and restrained demeanor.

“That’s a nice story,” I said. “So if you’re ready to quit bullshitting with me, and tell the truth, I’m ready,” I spoke in a playful yet no-nonsense tone. “How’d you do it?”

“You’re good, man,” Will said with a smile, pointing his finger at me. “Like a true journalist.”

Any other day I’d be pleased to hear that, but I was serious. I needed to know, so much that I’d forgotten how long I’d actually been here. I told myself I was gonna leave as soon as I could, but now, for some reason after talking with Will and seeing how personable and genuine he came off, he put me a bit at ease. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. But then the screams echoed in my head again, and the smell...

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” I said.

“Look, I wish I could, honestly, but if I did, Jeffrey may not be too happy with either of us,” Will responded sincerely. That much was true, I could tell.

“All right, I think I tortured you enough,” I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words.

“No worries, man. Nice meetin’ ya. Good luck with the blog.”

“Thanks.”

I looked at Savannah one last time, and she looked back with a serious and almost scary gaze as though she needed to tell me something very bad. That’s who I came back for anyways. But that opportunity was a lost cause now, as I left with nothing and still no understanding of how Gemini Films did their visual effects? And I lost my mother’s ring. Fuck, I didn’t have time to go get it right now. I didn’t wanna risk being seen again. Hopefully, Jeffrey keeps his word and they somehow manage to give it back. That being said, I'd be fine with not having to see him ever again.

Whose blood was that? Whose body was that in the dumpster? Was it real? Was it actually just that well made to where the average person could be fooled into thinking it was actual flesh? Who’d go through the trouble of all that?

The screams of losing your life inch by inch, the sounds that would haunt me forever. And the smell of what was inside that bag. That instinctual gut feeling… how was it not real?

[fallen-in-dreams]

Chasing A Dream

Links: FF.net & AO3. Pairing: Sakura/Kakashi. Summary:  Her mother always told her to follow her dreams. In this case, her dream happened to have silver hair, mismatched eyes, and a smile that took her breath away. And she was determined to follow him all the way, even if he decided to break her heart. KakaSaku AU. Status: Complete.

Enjoy. ^_^

.:.

Sorry I have to leave so abruptly, Daddy. I’ll come back as soon as I can, okay? I know you’re disappointed in me. I wasn’t trying to shame you. I love you. I love you both. I’ll see you soon. Tell mama I’m fine. I always know my way home. - Love, Sakura.

.

Sakura Haruno walked for half a mile to get to the service area where she knew that drivers congregated before leaving Wajima. She did her best to dress like a foreigner and not show her Roma origins—nomads (Sanka) were considered as un-Japanese as any foreigner (Gaijin). She wouldn’t win the sympathetic ride with a stranger wearing her usual bodice and scarf.

She decided on a simple shirt and her nice jeans; they fit comfortably and hugged her well. It was cold out, even in the middle of the day, so she brought a heavy coat; one that was still easy to wear with her travelling backpack.

Her goal was to hitchhike her way to Tokyo. Depending on traffic and how long it would take to get a ride, the trip would take about seven hours. It would be expensive if done with public transportation; she had to save what little money she had for those things once she actually got to her destination.

To him.

And she was unfamiliar with the more typical ways of travelling through Japan. This was her last option; she had put this off long enough. For the first time since the last time she’d seen him, she wasn’t running from her problems; rather, meeting them head on. Before her father got it into his head to ruin things with that famous temper of his. Images of silver hair and mesmerising, mismatched eyes, invaded her thoughts unbidden and she sighed deeply before looking around contemplatively.

Service areas like this all over Japan made hitchhiking that much easier. Cars, trucks, motorcycles—there was a plethora of drivers to choose from. Sakura had hitched before—her first time had been when a second cousin went into labour. The pinkette was twelve years old at the time, and her parents were nowhere to be seen, so she’d had to make her way to the hospital on her own. It was easy, safe, and fun, really.

If you were careful.

A girl on her own was an easy target for perverts and predators, but Sakura always made sure to go with families or women; she was a good judge of character, so that elderly man had been a smart choice, regardless. But she wasn’t a weakling; she knew how to handle herself. Anyone who tried something with her would get a twisted arm and a swift kick to the shins or balls. Whichever one tickled her fancy.

This place was perfect; away from the expressway and most people here were headed in the same direction.

A few minutes into her perusal, a teenage girl waved at her and Sakura waved back. She looked to be with her parents. They had a Suzuki and ample room. She approached them with her sign; it read ‘Osaka’.

Sakura put on her best friendly smile and fake accent. “Konnichiwa.”

“You going to Osaka?”

The pinkette nodded silently, remembering that while it was uncommon for Japanese people to hitchhike there were no laws against it; it was just best to appear to need help, like a foreigner rather than a local.

“You speak Japanese?”

Maybe it was her hair, but she was often treated like a foreigner no matter what she said or did; she didn’t understand it. But she always just went with it. The key was to look as harmless and friendly as possible.

“Hai.”

The girl conferred with her parents and then came running back over to Sakura and threw her arms around her. “You look like you are a good person. We can take you as far as Toyama, okay?”

“Hai.”

“Okay!”

The girl talked Sakura’s ear off the whole time, going on about her family vacation and how she loved Winter so much.

So bloody much.

But Sakura kept her smile on and upon disembarking at a service area near the Toyama train station, felt compelled to show her appreciation. She bowed deeply. “Doumo. Arigato.”

Alone again, she sighed nervously.

One ride down.

Shifting the weight of her backpack out of nervous habit, she ambled her way through the crowd of vehicles, glancing at the faces of the drivers and any passengers they might have. She was looking for the concerned face, the curious face; the honest face.

Found three.

It was a couple and their six-year-old boy, wearing matching outfits, looking like they were heading for the Alps. They accepted her quickly, saying how they didn’t want to leave her here on her own, and looking so vulnerable.

“There are some sickos these days,” the mother muttered, while the father nodded in agreement.

They seemed sane to Sakura.

“We’re going to Myoko,” the little boy said excitedly, the moment the pinkette climbed into their Subaru.

Sakura humoured him, listening to him talk about all the skiing he was going to do, and that he had to go to some boring wedding instead of the night-time Onsen. He was really cute, and she found herself feeling wistful and nervous, thinking about what awaited her at her destination. So much so that she gave in when he pestered her about where she was going. She told him almost everything...

“Sayōnara, Sakura-chan! And good luck!”

Left again at a service area, Sakura quickly got to work scoping out the people and their vehicles again. The next car she got belonged to another group of friends, middle-aged women on their way to some kind of religious retreat. She listened to their excited chatter in polite silence but was glad to be on the move again.

Next ride.

It was like riding a bike now; her instinct didn’t fail her as her eyes zeroed in on five people who looked around her age, almost twenty. They turned out to be college students on holiday and could take her all the way to Tokyo—their ultimate destination was Yokohama, where apparently, they all had family.

They were so boisterous and so energetic that it was contagious. Sakura found herself laughing for the first time in months. It made her temporarily forget her imminent problems. They were so warm, she found herself drawn to them. A loud blond guy in particular, seemed to just radiate kindness, and the banter between him and the raven-haired guy she assumed was his best friend, was the highlight of the trip.

When they made it to her drop off point, she was disappointed.

The blonde girl took her elbow and stopped her from leaving dejectedly. “You need money for the bullet train? They’re faster and will be safer this time of night.”

Sakura shook her head as they suggested giving her the money. “I couldn’t–”

“You can.”

“We insist. Go get your man!”

A wad of cash was shoved in her hands and bouts of cheers from the group followed her as she walked away, and Sakura blushed heavily. That little boy with the concerned parents had opened a floodgate and she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut! This was highly unusual behaviour. Did everyone around here give money to strangers?

That had been a particularly rowdy group of college students, she decided naively. Definitely out of the norm.

Best to just accept the money and get on the train.

Sakura waved back at them and made her way in the direction they’d indicated. Tokyo was a very odd place. There was a bus station nearby, and the train station was lit up and dazzled her. She strained her neck looking around; its services also included commercial centres for shopping, dining, and entertainment. Everything was so big and lively! She spent a few minutes just gaping like a tourist before remembering why she was here.

Sakura steeled herself and took the directions the students had given her to the correct station and line.

She bought her ticket from the vending machine and passed through the Fare Gate, rushing to get onto the locomotive. She just wanted to get this part over with. The Tokaido line would take her directly to her destination.

Sakura pulled out a piece of paper as she took her backpack off and sat down next to it in her seat. All she had was an address, and vague directions; she’d gotten it from her father’s own journals. She read it silently, committing it to memory. This was it. This was what she’d been dreading and anticipating. When she would finally see him again.

Sighing, she settled into the seat and stared out the window, her eyes taking in the beautiful landscape as the Shinkansen Bullet Train started moving. It was this kind of view that she loved most about travel. Having been a part of her family performance group her whole life, she was no stranger to moving around. Japan was truly the most hospitable and exciting country; even when they did stick to the Ura-Nihon (the backside of Japan).

And it was that lifestyle that had gotten her into her current predicament.

She remembered it like it was yesterday.

.:.

Gypsies, tramps, and thieves: dealings with those unwanted was not something most businessmen would risk. That was why just talking to Kizashi Haruno was considered on par with black market dealings. Moving things across prefecture borders via Roma who performed shows for a living supposedly came with all the mystique of illegal dealings but with none of the danger of dealing with the Yakuza.

It was the preferred choice for shady men who were too cowardly to deal with the real crime syndicate.

And Sakura was both repulsed and intrigued by her father’s dealings. Every client had their own story to tell, though, and she was a sponge for information. Every negotiation and patented deal were slightly different to the last, but they were all conducted the same; in brisk, formal manners with no-nonsense chit-chat and a back-and-forth debate that seemed redundant.

Eager to listen in, she always took the initiative to pour the tea for her father and his clients when they met in his tent. They paid her no mind as they continued to talk business—after all, what would a little girl know about the price of illegal dried meat or black-market liqueurs? She learned a lot from listening in but could only linger for so long.

Several months after her eighteenth birthday, a new business associate of her father’s caught her eye; and this man did seem to be bothered by her presence during their talks. He was so no-nonsense that Sakura imagined he’d have her standing to attention and saluting if he’d wanted to, but he also greeted her father with a smile that seemed genuine (a twinkle in his eyes) and a handshake that didn’t look designed as some macho display of dominance.

It took her breath away.

He was… different from the others. And his visits lasted longer; her father seemed to like him more and more every time they sat to talk business. And when Sakura poured the man’s tea he said, “thank-you” when none of the others would even look at her, probably thinking her some simple serving girl. When she froze in shock for a few seconds, he raised an eyebrow at her and waited for her to move away before taking a sip from his drink. When she didn’t leave the room immediately, his gaze would flicker to her curiously.

She often felt his mismatched eyes on her as she left the room. He didn’t dare to stare at her in any disrespectful way with her father in the room—he definitely wasn’t as ignorant or creepy as her father’s other clients. She had no idea why he was there because, instead of paying attention to what he was saying, she would be focused on his voice. And he would stop talking once he realised, she was listening in.

His curious looks turned into intense stares and she would give him a shy smile before exiting the tent. It was an interesting back and forth—kind of like flirting. Sakura had never flirted before, so she wasn’t sure if she was doing it right. Her father had been in talks for a few weeks in order to marry her to the son of a friend (a well-placed man in their Roma clan), so she was expected to avoid boys, sex, and the like. But Kakashi Hatake was responding to her awkward flirting, catching her eye when her father was distracted, giving her a dark, penetrating look when she was doing chores and he was passing by with Kizashi leading the way out (or in) to their encampment.

He wanted her.

And she had to admit, it felt good to be on the receiving end of his obvious need, though she considered him a gentleman, since to the casual observer, he seemed to treat her well enough; his smiles were innocent and his choice of honorifics when addressing her were appropriate for their non-relationship status. He was just a business acquaintance of her father’s and nothing more.

At least, that was what she thought. She was soon to be betrothed, after all.

But she couldn’t help imagining her life however, if Kakashi made a claim for her and took her away to live with him. She fantasised that he would save her from her boring life; she loved her family, but Sakura craved more. She had no idea what his life was like, but she wanted it. The sexual tension between them would not go away; a sense of both trepidation and anticipation filled her being. Sakura knew it would be frowned upon, that her father would rage, but she wanted him too.

Didn’t men usually make the first move in these situations? She’d heard they did.

Maybe he was just biding his time?

On what was apparently his last dealing with her father, Kakashi found himself in a pickle; his ride home had abandoned him, and her father insisted on letting him hitch with them, as they were headed in the same direction, come morning. His mind was made up and that was the end of things. Kakashi Hatake gave a grateful smile, his eyes twinkling when they met green and Sakura blushed under his gaze, her own smile eliciting another one of his dark, penetrating stares. She could feel a heat building up inside her as he licked his lips and exhaled deeply.

“Sakura?”

Her mother’s voice snapped her out of her reverie and Sakura dutifully left to help her, with whatever she needed. It was almost dinner time.

Supper was a nightmare. Sakura rubbed her thighs together, trying to hide her obvious interest the entire time. Luckily, only Kakashi noticed.

That night, long after her parents had gone to bed, Sakura Haruno lost her virginity.

He’d come to her tent, knelt down in front of her, parted her legs, and taken his time introducing her to sex. It had lasted for hours. And he spent most of the night inside her before slinking back to his own tent after she’d fallen asleep. When she woke, the only proof he’d been there were the indent from his head on one of her pillows, the foreign soreness between her legs, and the smell of sex that still lingered in the air.

She was profoundly disappointed.

And he’d seemed to have gotten what he wanted, acting normally on the rest of their trip, giving only a minute longing glance in her direction to show her she hadn’t imagined it before leaving their caravan behind.

“He’s such a nice man,” her mother said, watching him go. “And so handsome,” she added, fanning herself. “We should have him over more often.”

Sakura swallowed back a sob and forced herself to pretend everything was all right, so she could go back to her normal, boring life. But three months later, a discovery upended her life, and everything changed.

 .:.

“Forty-Six, forty-seven...” Sakura counted off the numbers as she made her way through the hallway. Kakashi Hatake lived in a luxury high-rise building with a view of the waterfront as well as a park. She wondered idly how many of his illicit dealings paid for this place. He had to be no normal smuggler to afford a place like this; it was far out of her reach, even if she were to drain her father of the combined intake from his clients.

She stopped at the correct number and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

This is it.

Yep. All she had to do was ring that bell and wait.

And wait impatiently.

Is he even home?

She’d heard the bell ring through the apartment from her position but there was no other noise inside.

The passing maid gave her a strange look, adding more to Sakura’s embarrassment; reminding her she wasn’t dressed to match the décor. She sighed, undid the buckles on her backpack and slid down the door to sit to wait for him to turn up. It wasn’t the middle of the night—just barely ten o’clock—so surely, he wasn’t fast asleep yet?

Speaking of sleeping; Sakura drifted off so quickly she didn’t remember falling asleep when a hand was gently shaking her awake. It seemed all her worry had exhausted her more than she’d realised.

“Sakura?”

That familiar voice had her freezing instantaneously, then slowly looking up into the mismatched eyes of her lover. That thought made her blush, but she fought it down. He knew better than to ask if her father was aware, she’d camped out in front of Kakashi’s door; what they had, what they’d shared, no-one else could know.

The energy between them shifted; it had always been electric.

As he stared at Sakura, Kakashi couldn’t help but think that everything was about to change.

He sighed, rubbed his left eye tiredly, and helped the girl up, off the floor. She was exactly as he remembered, except that she wore normal clothes instead of the bodice that had flared at her breasts, giving him an ample view of her goods. He smirked inwardly, remembering rubbing his hands over those very supple goods not three months ago.

Was that why she was here? He was confused. He cleared his throat.

“Do come in.” He unlocked the door and swung it open to let Sakura into his apartment, taking note of her sudden and obvious nerves, not to mention that she had a death grip on her backpack. “Please take your shoes off. The maids here are vicious if they catch even a whiff of the outside on these hardwood floors.”

Sakura nodded and looked around for a shoe rack.

“Here.”

Kakashi led her off to the side to place her things.

“Do you want some tea?” He might as well play the good host, considering her father had always been gracious to him.

“N-no.” Uh... “Yes,” she amended after shivering.

“What kind?”

“Hot.”

He didn’t bother pointing out to her that tea came in hundreds of flavours and was always “hot”. Well, all the tea he’d bother drinking, anyway. He busied himself in the kitchen, instead. “Make yourself at home!”

Sakura carefully placed her shoes on the rack and shrugged off her coat. Her hand went to her stomach and she felt mild panic; this was why she was here, but it was terrifying. She closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds of Kakashi moving about in his kitchen, preparing their tea.

I can do this.

Gingerly, she made her way into the kitchen, too nervous to take in the large and gorgeous apartment he owned. It had never occurred to her that he wasn’t single… but now the question tormented her brain. The idea that she’d slept with someone’s spouse, that she had trekked across the country to see him and was laying her pregnancy problems on someone who was spoken for… she suddenly felt cheap.

Sakura stopped a foot from the kitchen and glanced back at the living room, eyes darting about and looking for clues of a girlfriend or wife. There were none. But she wasn’t going to stop panicking until she knew for sure. Taking a deep breath, she entered the kitchen, laid her coat on one of the kitchen stools, her eyes on the back of Kakashi’s head as he whistled along with the kettle.

When he turned to face her, she felt her insides squirm in nervous anticipation; but the kitchen island bench was high enough to hide her small protruding belly. He smiled that award-winning smile.

“I’ll just be a minute, you can wait in the serving room if you want, then we can talk about what brought you to my humble abode, yeah?”

She wasn’t sure how to interpret that hopeful look on his face, but she nodded, waiting for him to turn back to the tea before slipping out into the other room like he suggested.

Oh gods.

Her nerves had just skyrocketed.

Sakura studied the pictures on the opposite wall to the tatami mat, entwining her fingers as she attempted to simmer her nerves. None of the people in the photos looked like his “other half” so to speak; there were people in business suits and an elderly couple in several that looked like Kakashi’s parents. The one that stood out was a photo of Kakashi and two others—a guy and girl, but the way those two were holding each other, she figured she didn’t have anything to worry about.

I hope.

She spun around quickly as Kakashi entered the serving room, like she’d been caught reading his dirty magazines or something. He wasn’t looking directly at her as he moved to place the tea try on the low table in the centre of the room. He looked up and her breath hitched.

“Oh, you took the coat off? I turned the thermostat up, so you don’t have to keep that heavy jacket on–” He paused. “Uh, Sakura?”

His eyes fell to her stomach and widened. “W-what?”

His eyes roamed over her shirt; with the coat out of the way, he could suddenly and terrifyingly understand why she’d come all this way on her own.

“Hai, Kakashi, it’s yours,” she said, to break the silence.

That made it easier. She was showing already, but it was mostly still just bloating; she’d deliberately worn a tighter shirt and cosy jeans to show it off. After taking off her coat, her baby bump was difficult to miss. To the casual observer, she didn’t look pregnant until she’d removed the coat.

Kakashi continued to gape at her.

“Kakashi?”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, quickly recovering his speaking ability. “It’s just... a shock.”

She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry too. But I didn’t know how else to tell you. Daddy...”

She trailed off and he understood. Kizashi was going to kill him. It didn’t matter that he needed the Hatake business right now, his daughter had been defiled and impregnated. No decent father would just let that go. And Kizashi was as decent a father as Kakashi had ever seen. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where the older man wouldn’t yell at him and call him every name under the sun for this.

He swallowed heavily.

“Where does he think you are right now?”

“Not at home.”

He chuckled humourlessly. “I suppose so. Uh,” he motioned to the tea. “Don’t want to waste my hospitality, right?”

She nodded and sat down; he ran a distracted hand through his odd hair and sighed, moving to pour her tea for her, before allowing her to pour his. They sat in silence, across from each other, avoiding eye contact and just enjoying the rich flavour of the tea he’d chosen. She wanted to ask what flavour it was but was feeling too nervous to start idle chatter. She was as nervous as he was, looking everywhere but at Kakashi as she delicately sipped at her tea. When they were both done and the silence dragged on, Sakura was beginning to worry he was going to send her on her way with little but a “I’m too old to have a kid” or some such nonsense.

She cleared her throat, her eyes lowering to her hands, sitting in her lap and twiddling like a schoolgirl. The fear and dread came rushing back when Kakashi seemingly had nothing to say and she didn’t know how to start the topic of what to do now. Her fidgety hands moved from her lap to her knees, back to her lap, and then finally to the serving table. She splayed her hands out, faced down, frowning at them.

Sakura only had to wait a few more minutes after her fidgeting stopped before the father of her unborn child finally broke the silence, causing her to look up at him, now fixated on his mismatched eyes.

“I don’t regret it,” he said slowly. “I…” He held a hand over his face in an attempt to cover his blush, but the look on her face told him he was busted. Kakashi chuckled, resting the hand on hers, instead. He rubbed his thumb over her hand. “It was amazing. You were amazing.”

It was her turn to blush.

“What I’m trying to say is...” He sighed. “I... don’t regret it.” He chuckled at his own expense again. “I’m not really helping, am I?”

She smiled. Sakura appreciated what he was clearly trying to say. She had him tongue tied, apparently. It was a good feeling, surprisingly. It meant she wasn’t just a notch on his belt—she wasn’t forgettable and unwanted. She cleared her throat again.

“Where do we go from here?” She asked, her voice trembling. She was scared of the answer, but also… not. It was strange.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair—he did that when he was both nervous and unsettled, she’d noticed. Or at least, she gathered so. He wasn’t the most open person, that much was obvious.

“I–”

Whatever Kakashi was going to suggest was drowned out by a loud, abrupt serious of knocks on his front door. Whoever it was wasn’t bothering with the doorbell and sound irate and impatient.

Sakura paled immediately. Her father might’ve put two and two together, somehow… she’d told her friends where she was going. But the caravan answered to her father, so if he really wanted to squeeze information out of them...

Oh my god.

“Hatake!”

Yep, that was Kizashi Haruno’s angry voice.

Kakashi and Sakura stared mutely at each other. They both knew that the longer they took to answer it, the more hell there’d be to pay.

“Kakashi I swear, if you don’t open this damn door–”

Kakashi quickly strode over and swung the door open before Kizashi could finish that sentence.

“Daddy?” Sakura squeaked, standing up.

Her father’s eyes dropped to her protruding stomach as her hand fell to it instinctively. For a moment, it looked like the wind had been knocked out of him; then his face screwed up and he shoved his way inside, leaving Kakashi to close the door in an attempt at some kind of privacy.

Kizashi spun around and growled audibly, his eyes narrowed in on his business partner.

This was it. Sakura knew what was coming.

Kizashi Haruno was infamous for his temper, and when he was at his most angry, her father was a rambler.

His hands flailed and gesticulated as he ranted. “Kakashi, you bastard! What the hell did you think you were doing with my daughter!? She’s soon to be betrothed, not the concubine of a low life porn smuggler!”

Sakura’s eyes widened at this piece of information.

“She’s supposed to lay with her husband, not some one-off, out-dated lady’s man! She deserves better! She deserves more respect than this! To think that Mebuki thought you were a good guy. What the hell is wrong with you, Hatake? I don’t care that you’re a staunch bachelor, you will do right by my baby girl and marry her before it’s too late! And don’t you dare try to blame my little girl for your midlife boner. Take some goddamn, fucking responsibility!”

Silence met this proclamation, but the air was still rife with the tension created by Kizashi’s anger. He huffed and attempted to calm himself; he wasn’t normally a violent man, but he really wanted to punch Kakashi’s lights out. But there was no way he would stoop to that level in front of his little girl. He would deal with that urge later.

Kakashi, for his part, looked thoroughly shamed. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair (again), and nodded toward his future father in law.

Meanwhile, Sakura’s heart was racing. When the hell had this escalated to marriage? The logical part of her brain knew she could no longer marry that son of a friend within their Roma clan, but to marry Kakashi… Well, it wasn’t a horrible idea. But her brain had yet to plan ahead that far, so she was gobsmacked by her father’s insistence; not to mention Kakashi’s strangely immediate acquiescence to this demand.

“Sakura!”

“Daddy?”

Kakashi took the hint and stepped into the kitchen to give them privacy, a little too fast for Sakura’s liking.

Kizashi sighed, one hand falling to her stomach as he kissed her forehead. “What am I going to do with both of you?”

“Daddy, I—”

“It’s my fault. You felt you couldn’t talk to me. Did he… uh, take you against your—”

“No, daddy,” Sakura said, clasping his hand that was still on her stomach. “I wanted it.” She blushed as he glared up at the ceiling. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I got your letter.” He sighed as her face dropped. “I just want what’s best for you and I’ve failed you. Now you’re trapped with Mr. King of Black Market Erotica. Nothing immoral,” he assured her when she scrunched up her face in disgust. He sighed again. “Hatake! Get your arse out here!”

Kakashi did as he was told and waited until Kizashi had finished ranting at him again before seeing her father out. “I’ll be in touch for preparations,” her father said, before the door closed.

“Well, that went well,” she chuckled nervously.

They stood in silence again. It felt like she’d aged ten years in the last ten minutes. But as Sakura rubbed her stomach, and Kakashi couldn’t help but watch the motion carefully, she thought maybe that was okay. The father of her baby was no spring chicken. She smiled and he stepped over to her cautiously, placing a hand on her stomach.

Those mismatched eyes of his stared down at her and her breath caught in her throat as they twinkled, and he smiled. He was so beautiful. She suddenly couldn’t wait to see what their child would inherit from him. Sakura stood on her toes, held his face in both hands, and kissed him. He responded immediately; every inch of her body hummed, reminding her of their night together. Of their connection.

“I’ll do good by you, Sakura. I promise,” he said, once they were forced to stop in order to breathe.

And she believed him.

.:.

[purplesurveys]

1085

survey by -egocentricity-

On Myspace, what was in the last bulletin you posted? I haven’t been on Myspace for well over a decade; and even when I was there I didn’t have any friends added nor did I remember ever posting anything. Friendster and Multiply were a lot more popular.

When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I took a selfie last Saturday in the dining room. It’s of me holding up the vape pen that Andi lent me for the meantime to show Angela, since she wanted to see what it looked like.

Have you ever been scolded by a mall cop? I remember being lightly chided once when I was like, 7 – I was leaning on a glass wall of a store in the mall, so the guard from that store nicely told me to get back up to be safe. Overall, I don’t think I’ve ever exhibited behavior in public that should’ve gotten me into trouble.

How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? Definitely not so much these days. I need to keep being preoccupied with work or other things to do/accomplish since my daydreaming always seems to end with thinking of scenarios that now upset me, like, idk, happier times with my ex. I’m tired of letting that happen and always being upset in the end, so I try to avoid getting lost in my thoughts anymore.

What's your favorite thing to think about as you're falling asleep? Idk about you but thinking in general keeps my mind up and racing lol, so when I’m trying to sleep I do my best to black out my mind so that I can doze off.

Is there anything that you want to do, but won't because you're too afraid? So I went to college with this girl - I believe she’s several batches older - who, as soon as she graduated, set out on a hitchhiking journey across the world. She’s been doing it for four years, and I believe she has finally made it to Europe after being stuck in Kazakhstan for a year due to Covid. She’s amazing and her spirit is so fucking beautiful. She has a Facebook page that I actively follow detailing her experiences; but as great as her journey has been, I don’t know and I highly doubt that I can set out for such a demanding, commitment-heavy challenge myself.

Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom is the only person who does that, but she hasn’t done so in a while.

Who gets up the earliest in your household? The latest? My dad, since his work starts the earliest. I will sometimes hear the car engine purring by 5:45 AM. The latest would be my sister, since she stays up the latest as well. I think she’s up by 8 AM, but she doesn’t show up outside of her bedroom until 10 or 11.

Have you ever had a pet walk across your keyboard while you were typing? No, and I am glad that’s the case because both of my dogs are too big and I fear that they could actually snap my laptop in half.

What political issues do you think deserve less attention/worry? No political issue deserves any less attention than others. Political issues always mean that someone is on the losing end and I don’t think it’s fair to compare and decide which ones can be put on the backseat. 

Anyway, I do believe it’s not so much the issues that should be compared, but the people in politics who are given the spotlight. Here in the Philippines especially, a lot of celebrities want to have their own political careers (and usually win a seat) despite their zero experience and the media gobbles that shit up all the time, which is disgusting. Related to this, I hope the media makes a consicous effort to wipe Trump out of the headlines once he’s out of office.

Which political issues are you most passionate about? I dunno if I can measure that since I’m pretty vocal about a lot of things. What I can tell you is that in the political issues I have a say in, I always side with the marginalized and the oppressed. IPs, POC, LGBTQ+, immigrants, factory workers, jeepney drivers, contractualized employees, activists, student-activists...my heart has always been with them and their cause.

You're going to your favorite foreign country; what landmarks do you go see? I’m not sure if I have a favorite country, but I’m very picky about landmarks in general anyway. I’d rather experience the local life and eat at smaller local places and go to lesser-known beaches and stuff.

What is the longest amount of time that you have spent away from your home? A little longer than a week, and this was usually when I traveled abroad.

Did the last movie you watched have any emotional effect on you? Yeah, so much so that I was unable to finish it and I had to show up at dinner while still fresh from crying.

What motivates you to go to school? Not applicable to me anymore, but I suppose this can be easily rephrased to mean work. Honestly, my main motivation is the desire to have a perfect record at work lol. I’m super neurotic about this and I hate the idea of being absent or late. Money comes second; I rarely buy stuff for myself so I mostly don’t even realize the money coming in to my account every two weeks. Then third is the desire to be good at my job because I do want to get promoted and rack up more positions as I go along.

How much caffeine have you consumed in one day? The most cups of coffee I’ve had in one day is 3, and that was not an enjoyable experience ha. Right now, I’m on my first cup of coffee.

Are you more hyper and up-tight, or laid back and relaxed? I guess it depends on the situation. I can definitely exhibit either, but my behavior will vary based on the people I’m with and/or how comfortable I am in a certain situation.

When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? Around a week ago. My parents were having dinner separately and I heard my name being mentioned in a few sentences.

How did you pick out your last outfit? I wanted an outfit that was chill and easy to carry around, but would still make me look like I put some effort into picking it out.

When buying shoes, what do you look for in the product? I admittedly like brand names, so that’s the first thing I look at. I also like to keep up with what’s trending, so I look at items in a brand’s catalog that I see more and more people wearing. If it matches with my own personal style, then I keep an eye on it/purchase it altogether.

What happened to cause the last mess you made? The last and current mess I have on me is my work desk, which I’ve since abandoned in favor of my bed + portable desk as my new workspace. Idk, over the Christmas break I just ended up stacking up so much shit on the desk until it became a little too cluttered. I’ve cleaned it up here and there to make the space look neater, but there’s still a lot of stuff.

Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? Not embarrassed; I just find it unnecessary. My bedroom is too small to host guests and the only times I’ve let someone in there is when I had a significant other. I prefer people to stay in the living room.

When was the last children's birthday party you attended? It was my third cousin Isabella’s 7th birthday party at a Jollibee. Her family has been living in Australia for a while, but I guess they wanted to host a party with their Filipino family so they flew back here to stay for a few days. Because she is my third cousin and because she’s been living in Australia all her life, I don’t actually have any sort of relationship with her lmao but I still made an effort to greet her and stuff.

Are you good at reading other people's body language? Yes, to the point that it contributes to my overall anxiety.

If you're sick, do you go to school or do you stay home [usually]? I rarely get a fever so when I do it feels like actual death. For that reason, I usually have to skip the day and focus on feeling better.

Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I never had it whenever I’ve felt like crap in the past. I don’t really like soup though, so on a personal level I doubt it would have any effect on me.

What is one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? I don’t have a go-to meal because again, I rarely get sick.

Think of the last survey you filled out; did you enjoy it? Sure, it was easy to digest and it’s the kind that you can take over and over again.

Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? I’ve fed bread, but to fish in the sea; not ducks or geese since idk if we have either here other than in zoos. In our trip to Mactan in 2010, I remember how we were allowed to pay a certain small amount to get bread from the resort and proceed to feed the fish swimming around in the beach.

Is it hard to imagine you were ever as small as a 1-2 year old? Yeah, I definitely feel that way sometimes.

What set the tone for your mood today? Eh, I wouldn’t say I had an overall mood today, honestly. It was a normal day at work, maybe a little more uneventful than other days; and I was on top of my tasks so there wasn’t anything to dread or worry about. I was just concentrated on getting the day over with and wasn’t strongly attached to any emotion.

Have you ever set out to ruin someone else's day? I don’t think so.

Have you ever felt like the whole world was against you? It happens sometimes.

The name of the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8 probably? It’s been a while but it’s all I play if I do play a video game, so it’s a safe guess.

The name of the last board game that you played? We whipped out my old box of Trivial Pursuit last November when we didn’t have electricity and internet because of the typhoon.

What was the last thing that you told yourself? I don’t remember the last time I talked to myself, but like two minutes ago I was starting to feel sad so I silently reminded myself to think of positive things.

How many times a day do you wash your face? At least once, in the morning before I start work. I’ve learned that cleaning myself up, even if it’s just splashing water on my face, super helps if I want to start working in a good mood.

Do you remember your D.A.R.E. officer's name? I didn’t have one of those, anddd I’m sure we didn’t have that program here.

Someone throws hot coffee on you; how do you react? It’s taken me a whole goddamn week to finish this survey, lels. Anywho... I think out of instinct I would scream out in extreme agony first? And I’d probably spend the first immediate seconds to try and process what just happened. I don’t know if I would fight back because I’m pretty sure the burns would be hurting too badly for me to focus on revenge.

Is there a high school or college that you would rather be attending? I attended one school from kindergarten to college, and I can’t imagine having attended anywhere else. I had one dream university and I ended up attending it.

Have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? Yes, both. My parents lived in an apartment for a few months when I was a newborn. From ages 2-10 I lived in my childhood home, which is actually a duplex. The other house belongs to my grandpa’s late sister and her family.

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? Sure, but I care so little about my weight that they don’t really have an effect on me. The most common one I get is to “eat more.”

Where do you stand when it comes to sexual intercourse? Erm not really lmao. Just do it?? Idk. And just make sure consent is mutual and that you aren’t doing it out of pressure.

Name a show from the 90's that you miss? I guess ‘miss’ is the wrong word since I never watched it while it was ongoing, but I do love Friends. I’m excited to see what they have planned for the reunion episode.

Who provokes your sarcastic side the most? Bad co-workers, but luckily I haven’t had to pull that side of me in a while.

Have you ever thought about joining the military? Never.

When you were little, did you ever stare at disabled or "different" people? Being a kid, I probably did but never thought anything of it during those times. My mom certainly would’ve whooped my ass if I tried to comment anything mean or be a smartass.

Could the contents of your bedroom get you in any trouble? The one thing that would piss my mom off are my vape pens. I still have Gab-related stuff in my room that I’m too lazy to throw out, but I doubt I will get into trouble from those anymore because there has been no relationship to speak of in the last four months.

Do weather patterns sometimes have an effect on your health? Not on my health, but on my mood.

If it snows a lot where you live, do you experience cabin fever? It doesn’t, so idk what this would feel like.

When was the last time someone disapproved of something you were doing? Not entirely sure; this hasn’t happened in a while. Admittedly, as a people pleaser, I thrive on doing what people would want me to do lol.

How good are you at getting along with other people? On a scale of 1 to 10, probably a 9? I’m super nice to everyone and in the end it only really boils down to whether I have chemistry with them or not. If I fail to feel comfortable around someone I’m more likely to stay formal, but I do try to be lively and crack jokes with everyone as much as I can.

Do you consider yourself to be approachable? I want to be and I always try to come off as such, but my resting bitchface hurts that chance sometimes haha.

Do you know anyone that's a little emotionally unstable? Uhm, no one comes to mind.

Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Yes.

Has anyone ever suggested that you might need "help"? I don’t recall being told this by anyone before. But with the way I broadcast my anxiety and sadness from time to time, I’m sure people have thought of it.

Do you take offense to things easily? Yeah you can say that. I’ve always been more sensitive than most.

How do you respond to cheesy pick-up lines? As with any pick-up line, I inwardly roll my eyes and move on.

Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine? It’s such a waste of time and energy for the most part, so no. But if I feel petty, I have no problem doing it.

How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? It was...fine. Nothing to write home about. It was unlimited Korean barbecue and they actually had a system in place where they gave us a link to some internal website they kept, and we could simply order from there to minimize contact with the servers. I will say that I never got the kimchi jjigae I had ordered, but it was fine because I was full by then lmao.

Are you ever jealous of happy couples? No. I mean, I guess I’m reminded of my loneliness when I see couples in public, but I don’t get jealous or angry. I just shake it off and try to focus on myself.

Describe a thought that is sticking with you today? That I can’t wait for Friday.

Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind? I’ve been thinking more of my anxieties than certain people, tbh.

In a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? Air conditioning. Though sometimes it’s nice to have the windows down, especially when I’m driving within my village or up a mountain.

When was the last time you did anything to your playlist? I made an angst-themed playlist over the weekend.

Is there a new song or band you've discovered? Massive Attack. Hayley Williams did a super great cover of their song Teardrop, so I checked out the original version which I also ended up enjoying. Olivia Rodrigo too, who I found out is part Filipino yay!

Which teacher gives you the most homework? My Journalism Ethics professor will probably rank the highest on this list.

What type of personality do you find most annoying? Idk, condescending ones maybe? There are a million kinds of personalities lol, but yeah I hate those who make you feel dumb, and feel good about doing so.

How did you hear about Bzoink? If my memory serves me correctly, my 10 year old self just wanted empty about me surveys to answer. Bzoink was always one of the first websites to come out if I searched for surveys on Google.

How long did it take you to sign up for an account - if you have one? I don’t think I ever made an account on there since I was too shy to share my answers.

Are you punctual? Yes, very.

Have you ever howled at the full moon? No.

Have you ever seen yourself on camera? Like if I’ve seen photos of myself??? I would be very surprised if anyone can say they haven’t.

Do you give any consideration to what's said in your horoscope? No.

When was the last time you felt like you were being followed? This has never happened before, thankfully.

[ilovejevsjeans]

How another Aussie champion helped Ricciardo recover from horror start with Renault

As beginnings go, it was less than auspicious. Mere seconds into the first race of his high-profile Formula One move to Renault, Daniel Ricciardo's 2019 Australian Grand Prix disintegrated into a shower of broken carbon fibre, the front wing of his car smashed to smithereens after he ran off the side of the Albert Park circuit and clipped a trackside ditch.

Things didn't get a lot better in the early races of 2019 for Ricciardo who, so accustomed to fighting at the front with his former team, had to sate his hunger with occasional crumbs dropped by the Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull outfits that annexed the available podium places. Top-10 qualifying efforts were rare, decent race finishes largely out of reach. He couldn't recapture the feeling on the brakes in his new Renault that had made audacious, last-gasp passes his trademark at Red Bull, and he knew he was over-driving to make up for the performance of his car and his own frustrations, determination to fix one mistake inevitably leading only to another.

Ricciardo's signature smile was still there, but those who know him best could see the grin's wattage was dimmed. Ricciardo knew something needed to change – and another high-profile Australian athlete unexpectedly provided the impetus.

"It was April last year, the season hadn't been going all that well for me, and I was spending some time with [Australian snowboarder] Scotty James," Ricciardo tells The Age.

"Scotty's a good friend. He writes a daily journal, and he was telling me about how much it helped him focus on his goals, what he wanted to achieve, and how regularly writing things down for yourself forces you to be honest and accountable.

"I started one myself to see if it would make a difference, and it definitely has. I'm being honest with myself and it's for my thoughts and my eyes only, and it's something I look back on. It could be something as simple as 'how did I feel today?', 'how did I feel how I felt about that race?' and so on, and then going back and trying to understand why.

"It's just me and my thoughts, and it has definitely given me some clarity. I never sit down with a plan of what to write, but in the writing process you answer questions you may have about something, and that's really useful for me."

Ricciardo's season eventually recovered to some degree from its stuttering start, and while ninth place in the championship didn't get his pulse racing after a pair of top-three finishes with Red Bull in 2014 and 2016, he comprehensively out-performed the driver in the sister Renault, German Nico Hulkenberg, and achieved the team's best result with a storming drive to fourth in Italy in September.

A strong finish to the year gave the 30-year-old reason to be optimistic about the 2020 campaign set to start in Melbourne next weekend, but it's a season he realises comes with questions he can, so far, only take an educated guess at answering.

Ricciardo's knowns for 2020 are few, yet indisputable. One, he's in the second and final year of a deal with Renault that hasn't yet delivered on its considerable promise. And two, there's little chance the West Australian will see the view from any step of a Formula One podium given drivers from Mercedes, Red Bull and Ferrari have annexed the top three positions in all but six races over the past four years.

Can Renault show enough progress that he'd consider re-signing? Might Mercedes or Ferrari, both of whom have driver vacancies next year, remember Ricciardo's recent past in a race-winning team and come calling? And what of 2021, where a significant shake-up of F1's rulebook could completely change the sport's pecking order, as Ricciardo discovered the hard way the last time the regulations were rebooted seven years ago?

"This year definitely carries more weight than most," Ricciardo admits.

"The chaos that surrounded my move from Red Bull to Renault, I don't expect it to be anything like that. But there's a lot happening. I'm 30, so whatever I do, it's a case of 'how many more contracts will I sign?'

"The easiest decision would be that if my year is going well [at Renault], then I'd feel like we were only going to get better and I wouldn't even think about the what-ifs or maybes elsewhere. Even though next year is going to be a new car, I think if we were able to make some big gains this year with Renault, that would give me enough confidence that whatever happens in the future would be good, but you never know how these things will play out.

"I certainly see myself in the sport for at least five more years, but every year I'm one step closer to when my career might end. You're not thinking like a 20-year-old anymore."

While Renault's preference is to retain their combination of an established race-winner in Ricciardo and French youngster Esteban Ocon for the first season of F1's rule reset, chances to drive for Mercedes, the dominant team of the past six seasons, and Ferrari, still the sport's biggest name despite not winning a drivers' title since 2007, are rare.

When the lights go out at Albert Park, Charles Leclerc will be the only driver among the sport's two biggest teams to have a contract beyond this year, the 22-year-old Monegasque inking a deal with Ferrari until 2024.

Reigning world champion Lewis Hamilton's retention by Mercedes appears a formality, but the futures of 2019 Australian Grand Prix winner Valtteri Bottas (Mercedes) and four-time world champion Sebastian Vettel (Ferrari) are murkier, particularly with Ferrari banking its future on Leclerc with such a long-term investment.

Ricciardo openly expresses his admiration for what Mercedes, who won a record sixth consecutive constructors' championship last season, have achieved since the advent of the sport's V6 turbo hybrid engine era in 2014, which brought down the curtain on a reign of dominance by a Vettel-led Red Bull as Ricciardo joined the team that same season.

Mercedes debuted a revolutionary dual-axis steering (DAS) system at February's first pre-season test in Barcelona, a hydraulically powered innovation that allows their drivers to adjust the angle of the front wheels to gain lap time by pushing or pulling the steering wheel while the car is in motion.

Rival outfits were blindsided by the DAS concept when it was unveiled, Renault's sporting director Alan Permane commenting the team was "wide-eyed" about something Mercedes admitted they had been hatching in secret for a year, but Ricciardo says Mercedes' relentless pursuit of progress should be lauded.

"Hats off to them because they have been dominant this whole turbo era, yet they are still the ones pushing everyone else," he says.

"They're not getting complacent, and I think that's why they've been so dominant. They're setting an example right now and as a competitor, I certainly respect that."

Further clouding any picture Ricciardo paints of what 2021 may look like are rule changes that will make the grid that appears for next year's race in Melbourne almost unrecognisable from next Sunday's starting line-up. The next generation of cars will feature significantly different bodywork and low-profile tyres on larger, 18-inch wheels, while a cost cap, set at US$175 million ($A263 million) per team per annum, will halve the budgets of the sport's biggest spenders at the flip of a calendar, creating, in theory, a more level playing field.

The sweeping changes have the potential to make more of an impact than the implementation of the current iteration of rules in 2014, which propelled Mercedes from the midfield to a team that has won more than 80 per cent of grands prix since.

Pre-season testing threw up enough clues to suggest Mercedes, who never really showed their true pace in Barcelona, may just demolish the field again from Melbourne onwards. Should that happen, and with little carryover between this year's rules and next, expect their rivals to switch their focus to 2021 early.

Driver market intrigue, short of Leclerc and Max Verstappen, who is contracted to Red Bull until 2023, will be the narrative of the season, and Ricciardo will be in the middle of it.

[thebiasrekkers]

Star of Fate [Vampire!VIXX]

Plot: The longer you stare into darkness, the more you realize that something could be staring back. Even more so when that darkness doesn’t want to be brought into the light and will do anything to stay that way.

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Vampire!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut

Pairings: OT6 VIXX x OC(s)

Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Additional Warnings: Office Microaggressions | Bullying | Toxic Work Environment

Previous Chapters: Prologue

Links: FAQ || VIXX Masterlist || Admin L’s AO3 || Admin L’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,682

AO3 | WP

Tag List: If you would like to be added to this list, just drop us an ask!

AN: So…I know we said this was coming soon and I’m very sorry that this got started so late! I hope to have this out every two weeks, maybe more depending on the future. So please give this a lot of love and we hope you enjoy the ride!

Chapter 2- The Ghost Woman and the Hunter

Calling on your sins you're here in my dreams a desert place I'm not alone Do you really want to be me?

Her eyes popped open, the realistic feeling of falling completely disorienting her as she shot up from her bed. It had felt so real to her that her body jerked itself awake. Light danced its way in through the blinds, chasing away all signs of shadow. Never had she been so glad that she hadn’t purchased black out curtains than in that moment. She needed to see the sun and all of its glory to help the dream fade away into existence. Well, at least certain parts of it. There was a wistful part of her that still wished that she could be on that dance floor again with the handsome and darker skinned man. 

“Oh my….FUCK!”

Lucky yelled as she looked over to her alarm clock, realizing that it was the source of the chimes that she heard in her dream. Throwing off her covers, she scrambled to get half-way put together so that way she wouldn’t be late to her job. She even called a cab to get her there faster which was unlike her normal routine. Unless there was inclement weather, of course. 

During the ride, she kept an eye on her phone--it lighting up every few seconds as she checked the time. She made it to her desk just in time to receive the stack of papers from some of the other people there. Normally she wasn’t such a space case, even showing up early to get whatever else she missed the previous day. Lucky was a hard worker, nobody could deny that but it was that fact others exploited hence the reason why the stack seemed to get larger and larger by the week. The world of office politics seemed to be much like high school but it paid well enough for her to put up with the majority of it. 

She straightened out her hair as best as she could with it being so long and settled down to start on her work. Most of it had been reports that she had to pencil push and correct, which was easy enough for her because all the information had been just sitting there inside of her head. However, the more difficult stuff came along when the Vice-President stuck his fingers into everything. She couldn’t help but groan when she looked at some of them, saving the majority of them for last so that way she could take extra time on them. 

“Job finally getting to you, Leonora?”

Lucky didn’t realize how long she had been working on them until the voice pulled her out of the zone she had settled into. Turning around, she saw another coworker standing right behind her with a slight smile on her face. No matter how many times she tried to be friendly to some of them, they insisted on resisting any attempts at professionalism and decorum. Well, unless someone higher up was around. Not to mention the fact that they also insisted on calling her by her government name instead of the nickname that she preferred. She gave the sweetest smile she could muster and stood up, green eyes twinkling. 

“Oh, there you are Nancy! I got so caught up in fixing your mistakes that I forgot to give you this folder back! Everything in there should be up to date now and I even took the liberty of sending off the final draft for you. It was the least I could do since I was the last one that had hands on it. You’re welcome.”

She gaped at Lucky for a moment and flipped open the folder to read what she had fixed. Nancy’s ears started to go red and her thin lips flattened as she pressed them together in anger. Lucky raised an eyebrow at her reaction, knowing that she saw what had been edited by her. It had only been a few mistakes but they were some that would have made their department look bad. Plus Lucky also added her name to the document as one of the contributing factors, more so because she went through the trouble of fixing everything. 

“I hope this teaches you to quit pushing your work off on me, Nancy. Have a good day.”

Lucky turned away from her and sat back down at her cubicle, leaving the sputtering woman there to be embarrassed. Even though she had her own computer there, they all had shared files that they could all access and she lived up to her nickname that she had the time to quickly edit everything before emailing it out. It had been one of the rare times that she was able to stick it to them and it honestly made her feel a sliver of satisfaction at the situation. 

Because she was just a little bit petty. 

The sudden ringing of her phone took her away from the moment, the voice of her boss calling for her. Lucky was a bit confused as she looked at the time as she wondered why he had reached out so early. It normally was after lunch that she would meet up with him to go over various things pertaining to her new position. Lucky had been promoted to be the Personal Assistant for the Vice President. Naturally, he had more than one that would work together with him being at such a high level but most of them had quit because of various rumors of his misogyny and unrealistic ideals. Hell, she was even friends with one of them when she found out that she no longer worked there. Rumors circulated with her leaving and even more when she was appointed in her stead. 

Now, Lucky was one of the very few left so that meant that she had been picking up a lot more work than normal. Not that she went out much anyways with the amount of work she had. 

She walked the halls to his office, only to be greeted by the desk clerk. The tiny lady handed her a folder and suggested she find something appropriate to wear. Confused, Lucky looked through the folder and saw that there were some instructions as well as some papers with details on the new VIP’s that they had recently joined with. 

“What the actual hell? Does he expect me to drop everything that I’m doing to go to this event with him? After hours, no less?”

The lady just shrugged and went back to her work. Lucky could feel her indignation rising but left before causing a scene. It was one thing if it was an actual work trip that she had to attend but that had been some sort of event to flaunt and rub elbows. There wasn’t a real reason why she needed to be there so why all the preparation? She returned to her desk and went through the folder in detail. The only promise that she would receive was an extra amount in pay if she went, something that actually interested her. She grumbled as she leafed through it but decided that it was just for one night and that if it happened again, she would put a stop to it. The bright side to it had been that she could take off early to prepare for the event. That was always something she could look forward to especially that day since she moved like hell to get there on time. 

The one person that she could freely talk to in the office came up to her with a grin on her face. She had originally been offered the position but declined it because of family reasons but she was nice to talk to regardless. 

“So Lucky.. I heard from a little bird that you’re going to the VIP event tonight with Mr. Randall.” She wiggled her eyebrows and elbow at her while Lucky just scoffed. 

“Yeah, I guess. I wonder how in the hell does crap go around here so fast? It’s like the freaking flu!” 

“You don’t sound so enthusiastic about it.”

“Ashleigh, I really don’t want to go but they’re promising extra pay this time if I do. I haven’t been sleeping well lately and now I gotta go to this… grandstandin’ event. I wish someone else could go.”

Her coworker leaned thoughtfully on the cubicle wall before leaning down to whisper. It was only times like that when they would get a bit of privacy. 

“You could always quit and get some more sleep? I heard that the other assistant quit as well. I thought, at first, that you had too when you didn’t arrive when you usually do. They’re saying that the abuse from the VP is to blame.”

“Yeah well, tell the handsome man in my dreams to quit bothering me so I can go by to my normal schedule and ignore some of these chickens.” Lucky’s hand motioned like a beak as they both had a laugh over that before returning back to work. However, Ashleigh’s words stuck with her. The VP hadn’t been shy about voicing his displeasure to her about various things, even requesting that she cut her hair but she respectfully declined his request. All she stated was that it was within the guidelines of the company and left it at that. Something that didn’t win her any favors. 

And if the other girl quit too, then the sinking feeling in her gut proved to be more of an ominous feeling. Either way, she would have to go and see how it played out. 

When time came for her to leave early, Lucky instead went shopping for appropriate attire for that night’s event. Even neatly braided her hair to keep it out of her face. Simple, neat and just a tad bit sexy in the red dress. Once satisfied with her result, she waited outside for the driver to come around and pick her up. Upon seeing the expensive car, Lucky suppressed a shudder when the door was opened to reveal Mr. Randall. It wasn’t necessarily seeing her boss after hours but more of a combination of the car and him. Small vehicles caused her a bit of stress since she was involved in an accident many years ago. Since then, normally she would either take the bus or bike when the weather was nice. 

Thankfully, her boss wasn’t too interested in making small talk with her once they got on the road. The city was left behind soon and various gas stations and trees zoomed by them. She didn’t put too much thought into it until the driver turned onto a long, paved road after a set of gates. The mansion that appeared made Lucky’s eyebrows shoot up, something picking at her brain. She couldn’t quite figure it out but it was as if she had seen that place before. She had to shake those thoughts from her head as she concentrated on remembering the information that was given to her earlier that day. 

Knowledge was power and she needed it to navigate that world if she didn’t want to embarrass or otherwise offend anyone. 

Upon exiting the car and entering the elaborate place, Lucky felt all the eyes in the world stare at them. Putting on a gracious face, she walked slightly behind her boss as they were greeted by some of the others there. A few moments chatting with some of them, she soon found herself alone in the area while the others mingled. She wasn’t anyone of importance and therefore not worthy of anyone’s time, for the moment. She would let her boss do all the talking. 

Lucky gravitated towards the hors d'oeuvres while everyone talked among themselves. Plucking a few to put on a plate, she watched the room for any sign that she would be needed. Several of the clients that were in the folder she received were there and they were laughing alongside everyone else. A couple even approached her, asking questions about the company and trying to get a little information from her about how to deal with her boss. She couldn’t honestly say anything to help in that situation because she usually just listened to him bark his orders before correcting anything she needed to. 

She was left alone for another time, only appearing at her boss’ side when needed as the night went on. Soon she felt herself grow tired of all the people and the politics of said beings. Lucky had several drinks before that point and was in the process of acquiring another when a voice nearly made her jump out of her skin. 

“They’re almost like vultures, are they not?”

She looked around and up at him as he was much taller than her, even in heels. The man knew he was handsome, smiling prettily at her as he held up his own glass of red wine in a toast. Lips full and round eyes, Lucky had to appreciate his looks before replying. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say that in particular.”

He gave a wide smile, eyes almost disappearing as they snickered at the rest of them. Lucky found herself talking more and more to the man who seemed just as bored as she was with the party. The more that she looked at him, the more that he seemed familiar to her and it dawned on her that he was one of the men from the folder. He had a nice voice, a bit higher than most of the men there but he didn’t hide it one bit. 

Lucky also noticed that the attention had been drawn to them just from them standing and talking to one another. He introduced himself as Jaehwan and they talked for another 15 minutes, slipping into easy conversation to keep themselves entertained. His jokes nearly had her spilling her drink, the folder not at all correct with the man before her. He was one of three men with his business, including one brother that rotated about in their company. 

Still, even with the jokes and the amicable banter between the both of them--her boss found that he had only missed the presence of Mr. Lee before her. 

“Ah. Leonora, I didn’t realize you had monopolized Mr. Lee’s time here tonight.” Her shorter framed boss then looked to Jaehwan with an apologetic look on his face, “Otherwise I would have saved you sooner!” Mr. Randall gave a laugh, expecting Jaehwan to laugh with him but didn’t. It surprised Lucky that her new friend didn’t go along with him on that but only sighed, looking to her in apology before speaking. 

“Leonora? And you said you were Lucky…” He grinned at her, ignoring her boss. She could see Randall’s face that he was growing annoyed, a face that showed up when things didn’t go his way. 

“Oh that’s just my assistant’s nickname that she tells everyone to call her even though we should be more professional. I’m her boss, Nicolas Randall. Vice-President of Nexus Assurance.” He held out his hand to shake but Jaehwan kept grinning at Lucky. His eyes suddenly were hyper focused on her, the doe eyed look that he did have--dissolved away. Almost like he had found something he really wanted.

“Uh well, I’ve been known to be lucky--hence the nickname.” She nervously laughed, highly aware that the tension was rising. Her eyes darted between Jaehwan as he continued to ignore her boss and the latter as he was getting more upset that the scene was even happening. That strange and ominous feeling was back, churning about the contents of her stomach. Jaehwan slowly turned from the friendly and open persona that he had while it was just the two of them, to something a bit more aggravated the longer her boss was there. There was a glint in his eyes that suggested something unfriendly was fighting its way out. 

Suddenly Jaehwan blinked rapidly before excusing himself but not before taking her hand and kissing it. Bewildered, Lucky watched him weave expertly through the crowd before taking a peek at her boss. 

And he was not pleased. 

[nicolacoughlanbigheartfanpage]

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

New interview for German media (2020)

Translation

He is what Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 1990s. But Timothée Chalamet is not only enthusiastic as an actor. With his appearance, feminine and still male, he is also considered a model for a young generation. And he understands his work more politically than his predecessors did. Allow: the future of Hollywood!

NZZ am Sonntag magazine: Timothée, the story of a gay love "Call Me by Your Name" made you an international film star and earned you an Oscar nomination for best actor. What memory do you have of the evening in March 2018?

Timothée Chalamet: Oh, that was a fantastic evening! I went there with my mom, she was my date that evening. For me, a dream came true that day. I was so thankful to meet all these stars that I look up to. I had already met her at other events from time to time in the weeks before, so there was almost a buddy feeling - crazy! Friends of mine were also nominated, Saoirse Ronan and Greta Gerwig. And James Ivory even won an Oscar for our film, for the script. That was the most incredible moment.

In 2019 you were nominated a second time for the Golden Globe as the best supporting actor in «Beautiful Boy». Is that becoming the rule for you now?

I don't expect it in the near future. But of course I wouldn't mind if it works again at some point.

How has your life changed since the great success of "Call Me by Your Name"?

Oh, I don't think about that very much. I am happy that I have more options now and prefer to concentrate on doing good work and finding roles that challenge me. I've always been a violent film nerd, I grew up with indie films, I love this job - I was just extremely skeptical that young actors would get any chances out there. But the reactions from the audience confirm that it is worth being an actor. You can inspire people like that. We really wanted to say something with “The King” too. I love the language of the film alone - it is a cross between Shakespeare and “Game of Thrones”.

The drama “The King” deals with political issues such as abuse of power, manipulation, betrayal and trust. Did you learn anything personally from the subject?

When I was playing I noticed something: power feels very different than you think. Because you always feel yourself as a normal person, never as an overpowering figure or one of the most important drivers in the world. There are no machines even in the control centers of world politics. When I was in my costume and had to take on this leading role, I felt exactly like my young regent, who is faced with great tasks and challenges and who is not sure whether he can master them.

How does a young man, who carries a film of several million on his shoulders, who is quite slim by permission, deal with self-doubt? Didn't the heavy armor bring you to your knees, not to mention that you wielded the sword for hours?

The director wanted dirty, hard sword fights, and that's exactly what we shot. I gained a good seven kilos of muscle for this role. Of course I'm far from being a handsome warrior. If the director had wanted that, he would have taken another one. What we paid attention to was the attitude with which I went to war. It shouldn't be an invincible king, but one who just barely survives. The bottom line is that he still faces the fight. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun with it. I was able to bring the ten-year-old to life in me.

Even if “The King” is not a superhero movie but a modern allegory, many young people will probably only watch the film for your sake.

Phew, it can be, of course I don't know. But if I can make these important issues accessible to the masses, then I'm happy. It's about what makes power out of people who only came to this position through privileges or their family tree. Yes, I was still at school six years ago and I remember how hard the teachers tried in vain to get us excited about politics. Today it really worries me which regents are currently in power.

You've been dating Lily-Rose Depp since the shoot. Now you are both considered new Hollywood royalties like Brangelina once. How do you like being such a modern prince?

Now I have to think carefully about what I say. Modern Prince: Somehow this description doesn't suit me at all. My career was not a straight line that quickly led to great success. I would describe it as a zigzag. I always chose very different projects, sometimes they ran better, sometimes worse. First I made small independent films. It was only last year that the projects suddenly got bigger, but "The King" and "Dune" were not filmed in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Honestly? I don't even feel like a movie star.

Do you still feel the pressure from your fans? Do you want to live up to expectations?

No. What I feel is really just a big thank you. Because films are important. I believe that films can change the world. You are just my big love. I am incredibly happy that they obviously want to see me in it. It's fantastic how much films can move, isn't it? I remember seeing the Oscar-winning drama "Moonlight" in a sold-out movie theater and how it was felt after the show how deeply the whole audience was touched by the story. I work to make moments like this possible!

And what about your own life? Do you also allow space for all the successes?

To be honest, I struggle quite a bit: to find a kind of balance or rhythm between my complete dedication to playing and a normal one - if there is any! - Development of my living conditions. At 24, that's easier than when I'm 17. But I still have no idea what is good for me, apart from playing.

How old were you when you realized you really wanted to be an actor?

13 years. That was in high school in New York, we had an acting class that I was enrolled in. And after a few hours it was clear to me: "That's my thing!" But maybe it wasn't that coincidental. I grew up in the show business environment. , 

Your mother was a dancer, your uncle is director Rodman Flender, your grandfather is screenwriter Harold Flender, and you went to the acting and art specialist high school La Guardia, along with Madonna's daughter Lourdes. , ,, , ,

 But what really shaped me was the experience of performing something on stage with other people and thus generating deep emotions. When I finished high school, I immediately looked for an agent and started going to auditions. During an audition I met a colleague who had just got a small role in a TV series. That was when I felt my ambition for the first time: I wanted to achieve something. I really wanted to be part of a really good project, whether on TV, cinema or theater. ,

In any case, you've worked hard over the past few months.

But how! After “The King” came Greta Gerwig's historical drama “Little Women”, followed by Wes Anderson's “The French Dispatch”, and finally the sci-fi adventure “Dune” for six months in a row. That was a lot, but I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunities. The good thing is that you don't have time to think about all the work, you just concentrate on the task in front of you. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Who is a source of inspiration for you personally?

Talented colleagues with whom I work, for example Greta Gerwig, with whom I have already made two films.

What seduced you to “Little Women”, which now starts in late January?

Greta as director and Saoirse Ronan as main actress, whom I also knew from Ladybird before. We are already something of a gang. I am very proud of “Little Women” and will soon see it together with Saoirse, that has already been agreed.

Do you mind if fans are more interested in your amours than in your work?

What can I say? I can hardly influence what people think. Fortunately, it doesn't feel like many are interested in me privately. I know that it can be dangerous for young people if they focus too much on what the public thinks about them. So I decided to just focus on my job and my work.

What is going on in you when you are greeted and cheered by thousands at premieres in Toronto, Venice or anywhere else in the world?

In Venice I was just happy that so many, especially young people came to the premiere. It's not like people go crazy every night when I leave the house. A premiere like this is an exceptional situation, and that's exactly how I perceive it. It is not real life.

[argylemnwrites]

OTP Questions

Thanks for tagging me @addictedtodrakefanfic, and thanks for building this list of questions @mskaneko! I always find things like this crazy fun!

1. What other couple would your OTP get along with?

Like, in universe? They get along very well with Liam and Iris (who I will write more about going forward), although Iris and Riley are closer in the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe even though they see each other in person less often.

2. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

Not really, most things have a way of coming out with these two, and most of their “secrets” aren’t something they intended to keep from the other, it just never came up in conversation. The closest is probably that Drake slept with a woman Riley knows at court years before they met, but when Drake tried to tell her, Riley said ignorance was bliss and that she did not want to know that detail.

3. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus on the small details?

Riley is a big picture optimist (”everything will sort itself out” type of thought pattern most of the time) usually, whereas Drake tends to focus on the details, even though they often frustrate him.

4. Who does stuff on impulse?

The one who moved to Cordonia with guys she’d known for less than 24 hours on a whim, hahaha!

5. What is their favourite holiday?

Drake loves Christmas, Riley loves Halloween.

6. What is their favourite board game?

Drake prefers card games, but he does enjoy Risk quite a bit (Riley refuses to play with him because she finds it painfully dull). Riley likes Clue and Monopoly.

7. Who would go out of their way to do something silly to make their partner laugh?

Riley

8. Favorite canon moment of them?

When Drake asks Riley if things would be different between them if they met under different circumstances after the Tariq incident. The moment is such a perfectly vulnerable one for him, that it just holds a special place in my heart.

9. Least favorite canon moment of them?

“I don’t know what to say. My kid sitting on the throne? I mean, it would be an incredible honor.” - Drake Walker, on his honeymoon, agreeing to King Liam’s plan to name his yet-to-be-conceived child heir to the Cordonian throne before discussing it with Riley.

10. Who is the competitive one?

They are both incredibly competitive. They both insist the other one is more competitive.

11. Who likes to go on drives to nowhere in particular

Seeing as Riley never got a driver’s license growing up in Manhattan and feels incredibly uncomfortable behind the wheel, we’ll go with Drake here. I could see him doing this to clear his head on trips to Texas.

12. Who sings along with the radio?

Riley will if she’s in a good mood. Drake will if he’s drunk.

13. Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?

Riley. Not only is she a mediocre cook, but she’s more easily distracted and might tend to forget she left something on the stove.

14. Who is more seductive when they are drunk?

Drake gets really affectionate and cuddly when drunk, but whiskey dick is a thing so... Riley is a happy drunk primarily (unless she is drinking to cope in which case she is a very sad drunk), not so much a horny drunk. She does get pretty handsy when she’s just tipsy, though.

15. Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had?

Neither. Riley is difficult to wake up, so Drake wouldn’t bother when he could just tell her later. Drake is such a light sleeper that Riley wouldn’t want to be one more disruption to his sleep just to tell him about an interesting dream.

16. Who asks weird questions in the middle of the night?

Riley, if they’re both still awake. Otherwise neither.

17. Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

Okay, so all this makes me think of is the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is dating a woman who chooses to be naked all the time and it brings up the discussion of good naked and bad naked. Riley is prone to stripping down for “good naked” tasks pretty often. Sometimes it’s just to flirt and tease, but other times it’s to persuade Drake to do something he doesn’t want to do. He catches on to this tactic pretty quickly, so he will tell her to cover up and that it isn’t going to work if he suspects she has ulterior motives. This behavior pretty much comes to a halt once Riley is pregnant as she isn’t as confident given the changes that are occurring to her body, and after they have a kid, nudity as a flirting and/or manipulation technique just doesn’t happen all that often.

18. Who is always ready to have sex at any time, at any place?

Both of them, although Drake won’t at his work functions/parties in the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe because he’s too nervous they’ll get caught and he’ll get fired.

19. Who likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

They both buy each other things, but Drake’s gifts to Riley are more practical (he’ll grab her granola bars or creamer before she runs out) whereas Riley chooses more random fun items that just made her think of Drake.

20. Where did they take their first picture together?

Maxwell snapped a pic of them walking back from the first cronut run together.

21. Who knows the most useless facts?

Drake. Riley often questions how accurate his claims are, but he’s right more often than not.

22. Who is more likely to forget their own birthday?

Neither, but Drake is far more likely to try and downplay his birthday. Riley never lets that happen.

23. Which bad habit of their partner do they find the most annoying?

I don’t know if these are truly bad habits or just irritating ones, but Drake cracks his knuckles absentmindedly, which can get on Riley’s nerves, and Riley never returns food to the same spot in the refrigerator, which really annoys Drake.

24. Who is the better driver ?

Definitely Drake. Riley doesn’t really drive, though Drake has attempted to teach her during trips to Texas. She’s just not that interested in learning.

25. Who is more likely to admit they are wrong in an argument ?

This is a struggle for both of their stubborn asses. Drake is more likely to say he’s wrong, but Riley truly means it more often when she says it.

26. What is something that reminds them of one another?

The smell of peaches reminds Drake of Riley. Probably an obvious answer, but whiskey reminds Riley of Drake.

27. Would they get matching couple tattoos? If yes, what it would be?

Nope, neither one of them are tattoo people.

28.Who sleeps wrapped up in a cocoon of covers?

Neither. Both prefer just a sheet and a thin blanket, plus a quilt/comforter if it’s winter.

29. Who would win in a pillow fight?

Riley’s agility and impressive aim give her the slight edge.

30. Who likes to take photos of the other when they’re not looking

Riley would be more likely to do this

31.Where would they go to get away from everyone else and just be alone?

In canon, Drake goes fishing at a small creek between the capital and Valtoria. Riley goes to the undercroft area of their estate. If they are looking to get away together, they go camping on the grounds of their estate, cycling between a few different locations so it’s harder for the staff to track them down.

In It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment, Riley is very willing to share “her beach” with Drake. If they are looking for a longer getaway together, they’ll rent a car and get out of the city to go camping.

32. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?

Riley likes seeing Drake dressed up in a simple suit since it’s a break from the usual. Navy would be her preferred color. Drake would have Riley wear a slim cut red dress with a length short enough to be sexy but not so short that he feels that everyone is going to be checking her out.

44. What do they love most about each other?

Drake loves that Riley has a bit of a temper, but uses it for “good,” such as calling out stuck up, snobby assholes (He loves that she swears up a storm with her temper, too). Riley loves the way nothing she can say or do phases him.

Bonus: 3 random HC about your OTP

In canon, they host a Superbowl party every year, even though neither one of them really cares about American football, because Riley feels this is one America tradition they can still embrace without it being seen as a “thing” by the press (They drew some flack when they tried to have a July 4th barbecue with fireworks because that was seen as too political)

In It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment, they attempted to rent a cabin to get out of the city for a couple of nights around New Year’s Eve to escape the insanity that first year, but Riley did not have a driver’s license and Drake’s Cordonian license was deemed insufficient, so they had to text Liam to emergently transmit them some additional documentation. He essentially just wrote a three sentence letter on stationary with the royal seal stating that Drake had a driver’s license in good standing.

In any universe, they will intermittently have intense poker nights (just the two of them), that devolve into drunken rounds of strip poker and insane bets.

Tagging @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @ravenpuff02 @omgjasminesimone @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ if any of you are interested in joining in the fun (sorry if this is a repeat tag for any of you), or anyone else who sees this and wants to play along!

[loudsuitlover]

Love is a lot of texts

Part 1. Love is a lot of doubts 

Luke

Luke: I have to send you a voice mail telling you what happened to my wound

Anna: What happened to your wound? Oh boy! I can’t leave you on our own, can I? 

Luke: Haha nothing happened to the wound don’t worry 

Anna: Oh, thank God! My little girl! I have treated that wound with more love than I treat some people

Luke: lol it’s just they didn’t take out the stitches yet so I’ll have to go to Germany with them on haha family trip with stitches included haha If you want you can come to Germany with me, we have a spare spot, so you could continue taking care of it 

Anna: And of the wound as well ;) Like your personal nurse hey? 

Luke: HAHAHAHA you’re too much 

Anna: You make it pretty easy... Do you think you’ll surive all the way in Germany without me? Please don’t hurt yourself again, you won’t have a Med student around to take care of your injuries...

Luke: I don’t know... I’ll try... But in case I do get injured, I’ll think of you 

Anna: Given how clumsy you are, if you think of me every time you get injured you must be so in love by now... 

Luke: I’ll be careful then... I need to forget about you... 

Anna: Will you stay above me? Look my way, never love me. This is a joke only well-versed in music people will understand...

Luke: Of course I understand, you idiot. Your jokes keep falling, your jokes keep falling. 

Anna: Alright your chill hour of music before sleep was enough for that. 

Luke: It helps me fall asleep and forget people like you

Anna is writing....

Luke: who show up so frequently in my mind

Anna: I was writing that you’re despicable but you fixed it with that so I won’t. 

Luke: Haha we always end up talking about the same... Why is that, Anna? You tell me. 

Anna: Haha Idk...But they say between joke and joke the truth is shown ;)

Luke: Well, if you want me to show you something else, you just have to say the word ;)

Anna: haha you’re good. Maybe when you come back from Germany you can come over and show it to me. 

And the wound too. 

Luke: I’d love to, as long as some other time you come over and show me something else. 

Anna: Done ;)

                                                            - --- -

Harry 

Anna sent a youtube video: Carrot cake with MasterChefStyle

Harry: bitch

Anna: Handsome. Love you. I’m gonna grab my headphones. I want to listen to MasterChefStyle before going to bed. I really do love you. 

Harry: Dude, I don’t know in which moment I thought it was a good idea to tell you about this. I changed my name afterwards. 

Anna: Don’t worry MasterChefStyle. Your secret is safe with me. 

Harry: To MisterChefystyles 

Anna: HAHAHAHA I was going to criticize you for changing such wonderful name 

Harry: Full incognito

Anna: But then I read the y in MisterChefystyles and I said mate just when I thought it couldn’t get better

Harry: That’s me

Anna: Did you wake your mum already or you’re still on the way? 

Harry: Actually I just got here, listen.

Harry sent a voice mail. 

Anna: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Your poor mum had to send you to hell 

Harry: I’m in for some slaps

Anna: Like the ones you gave me last night? ;) Oh boy, even me myself got scandalized

Harry: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anna: Thanks for sharing this moment with me really. It’s like just on one night I’ve gotten to know you like I’ve known you for years. You tell me about your sister, you show me videos of your family, I listen to your mum’s voice and I found out who MisterChefystyles was. I haven’t been happier in my entire life. I adore you. 

Harry: Yeah you’re really finding out about all my secrets... You’ll end up finding out the truth about my micropenis. 

Anna: That’s everything I want in life. 

Harry: Oh, no, another? It seems to be a lot of people’s principle goal. 

Anna sent a photo. 

Harry: Oh no. How do you even have that photo? 

Anna: Because I keep everything of yours because I love you. 

Harry: Oh boy.... I’ll believe you in the end. 

Anna: You can believe me. I never lie. 

Harry: You lie more often than you talk, Annie haha Good night beautiful X 

Anna: Good night MisterChefystyles xx 

                                                             - --- -

Luke

Anna: Oh boy, nobody cares about your stitches, except from me... You see when I’m a doctor this won’t happen to you. I might kill you with a wrong diagnose but you’ll never be unattended 

Luke: hahaha Idk what I prefer... But I actually believe in you even though you don’t haha 

Anna: Hey that was actually sweet. I love you shit. 

Luke: I do love you shit. 

Anna: Oh <3 x 

Luke: Got rid of the stitches :) 

Anna: Really? Awesome! Did it hurt? What did they say about the scar? That it looked so good because someone must have taken really good care of it? :)

Luke: haha it didn’t hurt and it was all very fast, they didn’t even say anything about how it looked haha but I know it’s all because of you if that means anything

Anna: Of course it does :) Anyway, how are you? How is Germany?

Luke: It’s actually very very pretty. It’s such a shame you haven’t been here, I reckon you’ll love it but don’t worry Anna, someday we’ll make a trip over here and I’ll show you around :) 

Anna: Well that would be great! I would love you a lot! 

Luke: Could you even love me any more than you do now? 

Anna: It’ll be hard that’s for sure...  And if you want we can rent a car and I can show you how to properly drive. I know you manage more or less but I’ll let you learn from the best.

Luke: HAHAHAHAHA very funny! You’ll be lucky if I let you drive at all. 

Anna: Of course you’ll let me drive! I’m such a good driver 

Luke: I’m actually curious about how bad you actually drive so I’ll let you even if it’s just to find out. I love you anyway but you already know that. 

Anna: hahaha you’re by far the silliest person I know. When you’re back I’ll win you at an illegal race in order to shut up that mouth of yours. 

Luke: If silly is the one who makes silly things then I admit I am sometimes but so are you ;) Illegal race her? What a good driver, lady! Challenged accepted. 

Anna: Actually, thinking it through, you already have a scar on your skull because of an opened window... I wouldn’t want you to kill yourself trying to pass me because then how would I get over that? 

Luke: Don’t worry, I won’t need to pass you because you’ll always be after me 

Anna: Excuse you, but you’re the one who’s always after me ;)

Luke: I don’t know if it was intentional but I got the double sense there and just so you know in that sense you’re actually the one who’s after me, I already got ya, love. 

Anna: Well it took you long enough! I don’t wash the hair of just anybody... 

Luke: Haha just thinking about it makes me laugh. Sometimes I still can’t believe you actually washed my hair ;) You’re funny, Annie, you should make stand up comedy... Or we could make a show together but we let’s do it soon

Anna: And the show as well. 

Luke: The show can wait 

Anna: And you?

Luke: I can’t wait to be back but it all depends on my brother... He’s sick and we’re still in the hospital, we don’t know what’s going on, some infection or something. 

Anna: Wait, are you serious? But how is he? Is it serious?

Luke: He’s good, yeah, he’s just got a fever and this belly ache that won’t fade away but don’t worry. I’ll keep you inform we just don’t know much yet. 

Anna: I’m so sorry, Luke. I hope it’s nothing because your mum already has enough on her plate worrying about you. 

Luke: hahahaha very true. She’s a saint. 

Anna: Well she’ll be proud of you when you introduce me to the family. 

Luke: Or maybe she disinherits me 

Anna: I hate you. 

Luke: Wow, that’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever said to me. 

Anna: Idiot. 

Luke: Look, our first fight. 

Anna: hahaha now the reconciliation. It’s your turn to wash my hair 

Luke: hahaha It’d be my pleasure. One of these days we can meet up and I’ll wash that beautiful hair of yours. Best plan ever. 

Anna: haha now I love you again. Can’t you see how easy it is for you? 

Luke: Yay! Does that mean I don’t have to wash your hair anymore? Nah, I’m kidding. Really I even want to haha 

Anna: Whenever you want. 

Luke: Want me.

Anna: I already do and if you wash my hair even more. 

Luke: Your house or mine?

Anna: I have a bath ;)

Luke: Then it’s settled. 

Anna: I don’t even know if you’ll manage. 

Luke: Why wouldn’t I? 

Anna: Because you’ll get nervous and get shampoo on my eyes. 

Luke: hahaha I would never do that! And btw the doctor just said the fever is gone and he’s free to go so we’re flying back home in the morning so he can go to the hospital at home and stuff. 

Anna: That’s so great! I’m so happy for my brother-in-law! I hope he gets well soon.

Luke: hahaha he said thanks but he still doesn’t aprove of our romance. 

Anna: He knows I’m too good for you...

Luke: hahaha I believe he thinks the exact opposite but whatever helps you sleep at night. 

Anna: I sleep perfectly fine thank you, I have no doubts. I think we all know what this is about already. 

Luke: I don’t ;)

Anna: Well if you’re as slow driving as you are thinking then I already won the illegal race

Luke: Thankfully I’m only slow on certain things... And driving is not one of them ;) 

                                                 - --- -

Harry 

Harry: Well if I do the masters degree I’m not doing it here. I think I want to go to France for a while. 

Anna: Nooooooooooooooooooo

Harry: You’re going to Italy so don’t complain! Hey where the fuck are you going to be in August? 

Anna: Here :) And I’ll come back from Italy, it’s only for ten months not “for a while”

Harry: I’ll come back too. For you. I think. And if you’re gonna be here in August, get some of the guys together and come visit me to my sister’s :)

Anna: I’ll remember that

Harry: Or you could come on your own :) But it’s kind of far away... And you’ll probably forget because you’ll meet an Italian guy and fall in love with him

Anna: I can drive up to your sister’s and I won’t get a ticket because I do respect speed limits :) And I won’t fall in love with anyone. Now that I know God I won’t pray to saints.

Harry: I don’t know what to say to that. I’m speechless. 

Anna: hahah Cook me something

Harry: Anytime haha you’ll come then? To my sister’s? :) 

Anna: Yes :) I’ll surprise you guys. 

Harry: Stay for several days, we’ll spend the day at the beach and then you’ll sleep in my bed

Anna: Will I have to go in through your window like a thief? 

Harry: It has fences but I’ll get a rotaflex, don’t worry.

Anna: HAHAHAHA Yeah, surely your mum won’t hear that. 

Harry: well that’s okay, she’ll be proud when she sees you.

Anna: Yeah, right, like when my Aussie exboyfriend’s dad found us on the pool... Not cool. 

Harry: Wait, whaaaat? lol

Anna: Haven’t I told you about that? 

Harry: No. I mean I think you haven’t. You’ve told me many things but since you’re life is so fucking interesting

Anna: That was the cruelest joke you’ve ever said to me. 

Harry: It wasn’t a joke, silly. I’m serious. You’re probably the most interesting person I know. If only you ate meat... 

Anna: Well I don’t bite meat but sometimes I suck on it HAHAHAHA God I love scandalizing you. I know what face you made when you read it. 

Harry: I almost have a heart attack 

Anna; I love saying these things to you because I remember that one time we were playing truth or dare and you ask me something and I didn’t quite understand so I answered wrong and now you think I’m like such a fucker and I love that. 

Harry: What do you mean? 

Anna: You remember when you asked me if I had been with more than three guys?

Harry: Yes. 

Anna: And I said “sure”?

Harry: Yes.

Anna: Well I thought you meant kissing. That’s what I said sure like that, like it was so obvious that I had been with more than three haha 

Harry: Oh haha I mean it’s fine either way haha 

Anna: I know but it’s just not true and since you know so many things about me now, I thought you should know that too. 

Harry: Okay. So with how many have you been? Just curious. 

Anna: But what do you mean with “been”? Like- naked?

Harry: Well then you’d count that one time you went to the nudist beach with your girlfriends... I mean fuck for God’s sake. 

Anna: Hahaha then 1

Harry: THEN YOU LIED! 

Anna: hahaha no I didn’t lie! I told you! I just understood you meant kiss! And I mean I was three months living on my own in a foreing country... Of course I’ve kissed more than three guys... But this is a secret between me and you because I have no clue why but somehow in my group of friends everyone thinks I’m a sex goddess haha but it’s not true 

Harry: Don’t worry about that, you’d still be a sex goddess even if you were a virgin. 

Anna: HAHAHA I don’t know how I got that reputation but I kind of like that nobody knows the truth about that haha well now you do but you won’t tell 

Harry: Of course I won’t, don’t worry. And I don’t know either but to me ever since I met you you’ve been like the female version of Joey. Well no, you’re actually more like Barney Stinson. Yeah, that’s you, 100%

Anna: What? Haha that’s so funny. I must be so snobby then because that couldn’t be farthest away from the truth haha 

Harry: No, you’re not snobby at all because it’s not about what you say. You don’t ever brag about that. I think it’s just the way you are, you know? Like how you talk, the way you look, the way you smile... You’re confident and very attractive so... I guess we all just assume haha 

Anna: Are you serious? I don’t ever get anybody’s attention! That’s what I thought of you when I met you, you know? That you probably get any girl you want.

Harry: Oh, come on! Don’t come to me with the false modesty! And me? Getting girls? HAHAHA I am terrible at flirting! I always mess it up haha Everything I’ve had I’ve had it because it had practically fallen on my lap. If it had been for me I’d still be a virgin. 

Anna: Then just like me.

Harry: Yeah, right. You’re a goddess, mermaid. 

Anna: And you’re an idiot haha I’ve had guys rejecting me since middle school.

Harry: Did you check if they were blinds? 

Anna: Haha can you stop? I’m being serious!

Harry: So am I! But please do tell me, open up your heart. 

Anna: Well, you know how silly I am! I mean I did tell you about Lorenzo. 

Harry: Well, yeah, but that was just a bump in your impeccable carreer. 

Anna: Not at all haha I’m just an idiot, that’s it. When I like a guy I get all weird with stupid jokes and then guys just never notice me. 

Harry: Hahaha I can’t believe you. That’s impossible. 

Anna: Haha alright, we’ll see if you say the same five years from now when I’m a single surgeon. 

Harry: Trust me, what will surprise me about that would be the surgeon part. 

Anna: hahahaha you’re such a jerk! 

Harry: The only reason you’re single is because you want to. 

Anna: Don’t think so.

Harry: Know so. And anyway, you have a gay best friend. You’re already safe. You’ll always be the woman on his life. 

Anna: That’s true. Cody I love you. 

Harry: And if not, I can be you plan H. 

Anna: You’re my plan A. 

Harry: I think that’s the most beautiful thing a girl has ever said to me. Only second to my mum’s “you’re the most handsome guy in the planet” 

                                                      - --- -

Luke

Luke: Hey if you’re up tell me a funny story. 

Anna: Sorry I was asleep but I’m up now :) What was it? How are you? 

Luke: Well I was a bit worried because the doctor said the blood tests weren’t all that soothing but then he explained everything and it’s better. 

Luke sent a voice mail. 

Anna: Oh, well, chronic diseases do suck but at least they know what he has? I don’t really know what to say to you but just know I’m here if you need me, yeah? And you know I know nothing about medicine but if you wanna talk about alpacas just call me :) And I love you. 

Luke: HAHAHAHAHAHA I don’t know how you do it but you always get smiles out of everyone even when it looks imposible. I am so grateful I know you. Alpacas hahaha You always make me laugh. Thank you. 

Anna: Oh boy, you’re gonna make me blush haha 

Luke: Don’t get nervous ;)

Anna: So you still wanna hear a funny story?

Luke: I’m always in for that, am I not?

Anna: Well in that case. I’ve been playing on my own with one of the toys of the girl I nanny for like 25 minutes. She got tired but here I am still painting with these things. 

Anna sent a photo. 

It’s so calming. 

Luke: Hahaha that’s just pitiful. Where’s the girl you nanny? 

Anna: I’m not actually nannying now. It was her birthday and she invited me so I came, 

Luke: You went to the an eight-year-old birthday party for free?

Anna: She invited me! I couldn’t say no. She’s like a little sister to me now.

Luke: You’re something else. Anyway, tell her happy birthday from a random stranger. 

Anna: Will do :)

Luke: Thinking it through, I’m not even a stranger... If she’s like your sister, then she’s like my future sister-in-law...

Luke sent a photo. 

Btw that’s the best part of your drawing. 

Anna: Did you really just spend all this time searching for the error? 

Luke: I mean it wasn’t that hard to search. 

Anna: Yeah right. 

Luke: Hey Anna 

Anna: Yes?

Luke: I actually can’t wait to see you. 

Anna: Neither can I :)

Luke: And before we start declaring our love to one another, did I just see a picture of your dog on a mat in the middle of your pool? 

Anna: HAHAHA Yes you did! She’s so annoying! She wouldn’t let me lay under the sun because she just keeps laying on top of me and licking me all over so I have to get on the mat on the pool but now she jumps in there too. There’s no scape! 

Luke: Well they say love between two female dogs is the strongest ;)

Anna: Mate then if you come here, she’ll go crazy! 

Luke: Crazy jealous of seeing me with you

Anna: Haha She’s not jealous and I’m sure she’ll love you, don’t you know they say dogs do like their owners? 

Luke: Somehow that was actually beautiful. If you keep it up with those you’ll have my heart in no time. 

Anna: Good then :)

Luke: Good :) 

                                                           - --- -

Harry 

Harry: Tell me another song. 

 Anna: You already learnt the last one? Man you’re fast. 

Harry: There’s nothing to do but play the guitar at my sister’s. 

Anna sent a song. Andrew Belle Pieces Acoustic      

Anna: I love that song and I think it’s easy on the guitar. You can learn it so you can sing it to me when you ask me to be your girlfriend. 

Harry: hahahaha I’ll hire eight to ten mariachis for that. I’ll search the chords but yeah it seems easy and I like it too. Thanks, muse. 

Anna: Haha you’re welcome, artist 

Harry: I think I can learn it and sing it to you on Tueday when I’m home

Anna: Wait, you’re coming home on Tuesday already? :)

Harry: hahaha no, I’m only passing by but I’ll stay a day or two. 

Anna: What for? 

Harry: I’m picking Mum up from the aiport and then we’re driving back to my sister’s. 

Anna: Oh, thank God, I thought you were just passing by because you couldn’t live without me and I was thinking how is this guy going to handle next year when I’m gone? 

Harry: Please don’t remind me. And even though it’s true I can’t live without you, that’s not the reason I’m driving three hours there and three hours back as you can see. Anyway, when the fuck are you coming to visit? Because I saw Cody two days ago and I told him something and I said “don’t tell anyone, not even Anna” and he said “no I won’t tell her because I want to see her face when you tell her”         

Anna: Hahaha I love that that’s the reason he won’t tell me. So you’re not telling me either until I go visit you. 

Harry: That’s right, you got it. 

Anna: Okay well I’ll go after you pick up your mum from the airport. 

Harry: In fact, why don’t you come up with us? 

Anna: In your car?

Harry: Yes, I’ll respect speed limits this time, don’t you see my mum will be in the car too? 

Anna: A three hours ride with your mum and you? Haha And then how do I get home? 

Harry: I can drive you. 

Anna: Three hours here and three hours back? 

Harry: I could still a day or two too. That way we’ll spend more time together too. 

Anna: Mmm I’ll think about it. 

Harry: I don’t wanna beg but I will if I have to

Anna: Haha you don’t have to. I’ll take it as the beginning of our visits. I visit you at your sister’s, you visit me in Italy.

Harry: Right cause it’s the same thing haha 

Anna: You have to come anyway, otherwise I’ll step on your throat and never talk to you ever again. 

Harry: Wow, so agressive. I don’t know what’s worse. 

Anna: That’s sweet? I guess? 

Harry: Haha Well, I’ll go but then you’ll have to come visit me when I move to Norway. 

Anna: You’re not moving to Norway because I don’t want to live there. It’s too cold. 

Harry: I don’t want you to go to Italy and you’re going anyway. 

Anna: It’s not the same because Italy is closer and the weather is nicer and I’m coming back. I’m not moving, it’s just a scolarship. Just wait for me, when I’m back I’ll confess my love to you. 

Harry: Didn’t you just do it? Now I won’t be able to look surprise when you get on one knee and ask me to marry you.

Anna: Well I wasn’t going to ask you to marry me so soon. I was just going to ask you to be my plus one to the family reunion, like my formal boyfriend as my grandma calls it. 

Harry: I thought that was Cody? 

Anna: Cody is my brother. 

Harry: Does he know that?

Anna: Cody is gay. You know what? I’ll have to invite another guy who understands my relationship with Cody. He’s more than a friend but less than a lover. You had everything Harry, if only you had understood that... 

Harry sent a photo. 

Harry: Cody says “siblings don’t know the way you taste” 

Anna: Cody if I end up single because of you I swear to God I’ll cut you from your throat to your anus and I’ll hang you from the wall like a salami. 

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA Don’t worry Annie. You won’t end up single. 

Anna: Well I don’t know because Norway is far away and it’s too cold and they see so little sun :(

Harry: Well okay, you win, I’ll stay home. 

Anna: I mean we can go elsewhere if you hate home so much. Just somewhere not that cold. 

Harry: I don’t care where if it’s with you. 

Anna: Oh, I love you. 

Harry: I love you too. 

                                                         - --- -

Luke

Anna: Remember when you told me I was going to break my back one of these days? I think the day has arrived :( 

Luke: What do you mean? Are you okay? 

Anna: My back hurts a lot :( I need a massage. 

Luke: Does your back really hurts or you just want a massage? haha

Anna: Well you’re a physical therapist, aren’t you?

Luke: Student* 

Anna: And you’ve never given me a massage 

Luke: I was going to say you’re a med student and you’ve never heal me but that would be lying

Anna: That’s right. That’s why you need to give me a massage, a good one that leaves me with a feeling of euphoria and light-weight

Luke: HAHAHAHA I’m so sorry to inform you I don’t think I can do that. So far I can only give therapeutic massages and trust me they don’t live you ephoric and light-weighted lol If you want euphoria you should try drugs

Anna: Man you’re idiotic. I had made the joke so easy for you, it’s practically told on its own but you let the opportunity passed. I’ll remember this. 

Luke: You mean I have to get myself another girl who actually appreciates my therapeutic massages? 

Anna: I think I could get over it

Luke: Well I guess it was beautiful while it lasted Anna. 

Anna: No, no, I take it back. Don’t get yourself another girl. 

Luke: hahahahaha what is it gonna be? 

Anna: Actually if you want, try to get yourself another girl. Let’s see if you can find some who washes your hair like I did. 

Luke: lol okay after this reflection time I’ve decided to keep you but on one condition: next time, don’t wash just my hair ;)

Anna: Well alright but I hope you know what you’re doing and by that I mean if you fall hopelessly in love with me I won’t be responsible for that 

Luke: hahahahaha I think I’ll take that risk

Anna: Good ;)

Luke: Anna my nose is bleeding. Come heal me. 

Anna: Are you serious? You’re always giving things to do haha What’s your problem?

Luke: You are! Nah, really I’ve always been a lot of work

Anna: Well that’s good, entertaining 

Luke: Yeah, I was very naughty when I was a little boy 

Anna: So was I. I know it’s hard to believe because I’m adorable

Luke: It actually doesn’t surprise me from you haha I just used to play hide and seek without warning. Mum wasn’t happy about it haha What was your problem?

Anna: I was just evil. My mum always tells the same story to illustrate my wickedness. When I was four years old I filled the bathtub and told my older brother that mum wanted him to have a bath with his clothes on so he did and then when mum found him I said “mum look! My brother got on the tub with his clothes on!” 

Luke: HAHAHAHA that’s just cruel! 

Anna: yeah I know, I’m not oroud 

lroud*

proid*

proud* FUCK

Luke: HAHAHA what’s wrong with you?

Anna: I get nervous talking to you Luke 

Luke: I can tell haha Don’t be

Anna: Well what’s important is that I’m not evil anymore. Now I’m only naughty in my room ;) 

Luke: Now it’s you who’s making me nervous hahaha 

Anna sent a photo.  

Luke: And now you sent a picture of baby Anna after making me think of you being naughty in your room. I don’t know how I feel about that haha But you had such a good girl’s face! In fact you still do. Those are the worst...

Anna: I want to see a picture of baby Luke 

Luke: Oh, I wish I had one here but I don’t. 

Anna: Don’t worry, your mum will show them to me when she embarrasses you showing me pictures of little Luke nude like all mothers-in-law do 

Luke: Impossible. I look cute in all of them. 

Luke sent a photo. 

Luke: My mum just me that one with my brother. 

Anna: Which one are you?

Luke: That’s what I was going to ask you ;)

Anna: I hope you’re the one smiling into the camera. 

Luke: Do you really not recognize your future husband? 

Anna: Haha just tell me who you are! I’m going crazy with the zoom. The two of you are crazily cute anyway, my man and my brother-in-law even though I don’t know which one is you. 

Luke: lol okay well when we were little people thought we were twins so I’ll let you live with this because of that... I’m the one looking into the camera 

Anna: Really? Yay! The one I wanted! Our kids will be so cute! 

Luke: As babies yes, then they’ll grow and get uglier like we all do 

Anna: They won’t if they look like their dad. See how nice I am? You just get your brother in the bathtub once and you’re the devil. 

Luke: hahaha yeah how can I trust you won’t get our kids on the bathtub with clothes on just for fun? And btw I didn’t even know you have a brother?

Anna: Yeah well he doesn’t live home anymore but yes I do, he’s one year older than me. 

Luke: Really? 

Anna: Yes, Dylan’s the name of your brother-in-law

Luke: Mate, I know nothing about your life and you know everything about mine haha

Anna: I’m very shy 

Luke: Yeah, with me you are but I reckon that’s because I make you nervous... Oh I didn’t tell you! You know my hair is blond where the scar is? Because of you and the oxygenated water lol

Anna: Oh boy, really? I’m sorry! 

Luke: Don’t be. I like it, it reminds me of you. 

Anna: Oh <3 I’m gonna tell you something but don’t let it get to your head. I’ve looked up in our thread to when you told me you were coming back in five days because it’s feeling like an eternity. I mean if that’s not something a kind person would do, I don’t know what is...

Luke: Aaww Of course I know you’re kind- you’ve been nothing but kind to me- and it’s okay that you miss me, I miss you a lot too :) But don’t let it get to your head either hey? 

Anna: Don’t let it get to your head he says... Tonight I’m sleeping like this :D 

Luke: To be fair you won me over tonight with that looking up in the thread thing. If only we slept together tonight...

Anna: Slept... lol

Luke: What? haha What else would we do, young lady? 

Anna: Well you know... Watch Disney movies... Or read French poetry

Luke: Read French poetry haha You’ll have to read it to me cause I don’t speak French but we can hang out one day for you to read French poems to me. But just for that. 

Anna: Just for that. 

Luke: I gotta run but before I go I want to tell you that I’ve laughed a lot with you tonight and that you really always make me happier. Good night princess X 

Anna: Just come back 

Luke: I wish 

                                                            - --- -

Harry

Anna: I’m home. I love you a lot <3

Harry sent a voice mail. 

Anna: I didn’t get anything you just said haha you’re so wasted Harry 

Harry sent a voice mail. 

Anna: I would have gone home with you. You just had to invite me officialy. Then I would have gone. But you didn’t. 

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Harry sent a voice mail. 

Anna: HAHAHAHAHA 

Harry: I erased the other three voice mails because I listened to them and I thought they were so pathetic... I mean if this wasted I thought they were bad, just imagine how pathetic they must have been  

Anna: More pathetic than you bailing out on that naked girl at the beach?

Harry: Oh, don’t remind me

Anna: haha it makes sense now that Cody would want to see my face when you told me haha And there I was thinking you got all the girls 

Harry: See? I told you I suck at it. But anyway I did good. Her friend told me she does that with all the guys.

Anna: So what? Her friend was just jealous. 

Harry: Well, that’s okay. If she wants me, she’ll have to proposition me again knowing I’m a slow guy. 

Anna: Oh how I wish I was her 

Harry: Dude, don’t tell me those things! You love teasing me. You know you just gotta say the word. 

Anna: That’s not true haha You just told me you liked this Maria girl! 

Harry: Well she’s not you. 

Anna: You should have officially invited me home

Harry: Dude I’m retarded. I just dig my own grave... But anyway if it means anything, even if you had come over... I’m so drunk I think when I get home I’ll just probably hit my head against the door of my room and fall on a coma on the corridor. 

Anna: Hahahaha you’re the funniest person I know I love you! But anyway I just wanted to sleep with you. Maybe even cuddle. Nothing more. I mean the other thing... I used to want it but... After the Maria thing... I am not so sure... 

Harry: Look Maria has nothing on you but anyway I’m reaching negative levels of dignity so I better just shut up. And fyi cuddling with me is such a privilege. I might even let you be the little spoon.

Anna: I should have gone home with you but boy your “you can crush at my place... if you want” didn’t seem like the kind of invite one takes. But anyway I should have accepted because we would spoon each other now but tomorrow morning... I’d wake up good. 

Harry: Fuck.

Anna: hahahah no, but really I give up on you. I didn’t know there was this Maria girl who has a history with you... I’ll just wait. 

Harry: Listen Anna, Maria is just a hook up. Well not even because I’m retarded but she’s just a girl. You are.... I love you. When you come back from Italy I’ll be waiting for you.

Anna: Don’t say things you don’t mean. 

Harry: Now that’s the pot calling the kettle back. 

Anna: You’re just drunk haha And so am I. I am actually making myself some soup. 

Harry: I wish you were cooking for me. 

Anna: Plus I’m on my underwear.

A thong. 

Harry: Fuck me. 

Anna: hahaha

Harry: Well no, fuck you. I’m gonna have a shower. 

Anna: At 4.30 am?

Harry: I could shower with you but no, the lady had to take an uber and go to her house and make vegetable soup. Fuck ubers.

Anna: hahaha I’m not going to Italy

Harry: I wish

Anna: I wish I was your room so you’d always sleep inside me. 

Harry: Fuck. That’s it. If you keep it up when you actually want to fuck me you’re gonna have to tell me “Harry make me yours” or I won’t take you seriously. 

Anna: Harry between joke and joke the truth is shown.

Harry: yeah, go on

Anna: hahaha just come see me when I’m in Italy 

Harry: And then we’ll fuck?

Anna: hahaha 

Harry: I hate you. I’m going to bed. I don’t hate you, I love you.

Anna: Love you too X

                                                  - --- -

Luke

Luke: So what plans do you have for august? 

Anna: None haha I want to save money for Italy so I’m not going anywhere. 

Luke: Good! I’m staying home too. 

Anna: Nice! Do you want to go watch the Lion King to the movies?  

Luke: Yes, I’d love to! What theatre do you usually go to?

Anna: Well this summer I’ve gone to the Odeon a couple times, I’ve also been to Icedure and obviously my beloved Eastside Movies in my hood but don’t worry I won’t make you come all the way to my hood haha 

Luke: No, that’s fine! I can drive there and you can show me around. I’ve never been on the suburbs :)

Anna: Are you serious? haha

Luke: Sure! It’s fine for me but whatever you want is fine by me really.

Anna: Okay well that would be very sweet of you actually! I can take you to the bars too! You’ll see how cool they are. You’ll be my third visitor :)

Luke: Cool haha Really? You poor thing! Well you can get happy because I’m the third visitor :)

Anna: I am happy! You’re the best! 

Luke: Don’t make me blush... I just want you to worship me like a god. 

Anna: Give me a massage which makes my toes curl and I will

Luke: hahahahaha so it’s not impossible! I’ll fight for it. 

Anna: The day you finally give me a massage I’ll have to look for another goal in my life. Maybe I even start crying because I’ll feel happy but empty in a way like- what now? 

Luke: hahaha Thank God you explained it cause otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do about the crying. Well, don’t get your expectations too high or I won’t be able to please you 

Anna: I’m sure you’ll be able

Luke: 100% sure?

Anna: 100%

Luke: Thank God

Anna: I trust you on this massage because I trust you on everything, except on changing lanes on the road. 

Luke: hahaha that was all Harry’s fault, the bastard sped up.

Anna: Sure

Luke: If you want to see how good of a driver I am, I’ll give you a ride when we go to the movies 

Anna: I know you’re a good driver, silly. Everyone says so. 

Luke: Who’s everyone?

Anna: Cody, Zara and Harry.

Luke: Harry? Lol I wasn’t expecting that

Anna: Haha he said you’re a good driver even though every time you’ve driven him somewhere you’ve gotten nervous and mess up a little

Luke: That’s not true! Fucking liar! 

Anna: Haha that’s what he said

Luke: Well, looking at it from the bright side, this just means you’ve been around talking about me and my driving skills... This proves how you can’t stop thinking about me. 

Anna: That’s right. I have another plan for us but we’ll have to do it some other day 

And the plan as well ;)

Because otherwise it’ll just be a way too cool day.

Luke: hahahahaha I’m all ears 

Anna: There’s a pub with a pool table. I’ll win whenever you want ;)

Luke: Wow you’re talking to the pool master 

Anna: Then you already won cause I’ve never played haha Just always wanted to 

Luke: haha really? That’s cute haha I’m pretty good at getting it in the hole

The ball

Shit I didn’t do it right

And the ball too*

Fuck, too late.

Anna: HAHAHAHA you’re so adorable

Luke: Not too much I hope haha Well whenever you want

Anna: Whenever I want what? 

Luke: The pool ;)

Anna: Alright.

Luke: Practice some first because otherwise I’ll get bored... 

Anna: If I eventually win I’ll never let you leave this behind

Luke: You wanna bet, clown? 

Anna: Whatever you want. 

Luke: Go. Just ask.

Anna: Mmm... Well you already know what I want. 

Luke: True. You know what I want too.  

Anna: Do I? I don’t remember now. 

Luke: I want a full body wash of course.

Anna: HAHAHA

Luke: Nah, I’ll have to think about it. 

Anna: That was funny. Unexpected and funny. 1000 points for the man with the scar. 

Luke: hahaha I really want that but I’ll think of something for general audience. What you want is the massage, right?

Anna: How clever, how wonderful. 

Luke: See? Now I just have to think about what I want...

Anna: Shouldn’t be so hard 

Luke: Do you have any suggestions? Any secret talents that I might want to benefit from? 

Anna: You tell me but don’t be shy because in the face of the vice of asking, there’s the virtue of not giving. 

Luke: I want something that implicates my five senses. You gotta work with that.

Anna: Done. 

Luke: What do you mean done?

Anna: I already know what I’ll give you if you win.

Luke: Well what is it?

Anna: Win and you’ll find out ;)

                                                     - --- -

Harry

Anna sent a voice mail. 

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA I love your family 

Anna sent a voice mail.

Anna sent a video.

Harry: HAHAHAHAHA LOL Mate! Your brother is God! He does not have the voice you say he has. And he looks a lot like you.

Anna: That’s only because he’s not giving me a lecture in the video.

Harry: Seriously I’m still laughing. Eventually you’re going to get me to date you just so I can be a part of your family. In our anniversary I’ll be like “I’m hanging out with your brother” 

Anna: HAHAHAHA No way, you’re going to fall in love with me. I’ll make it, Harry.

Harry: Sure...

Anna: I just haven’t started my plan yet because I’m going away for ten whole months

Harry: Nah, you already did. The problem is just that, that you’re going away and you’re going to break my heart. Cody and I were talking about it the other day and we almost cry out there like the two grown up men that we are.

Anna: I’m going to miss you both so much. 

Harry: He said he had considered hacking the ministry of justice so he could give you a criminal record and you wouldn’t be allowed to leave the country but that then you wouldn’t be able to be a doctor either so he couldn’t do it. 

Anna: lol these are the reasons I don’t want to go to Italy...

Harry: I wish I had known you like this before you asked for the fucking scolarship. I would have convinced you to stay. 

Anna: No, you wouldn’t. You’d be supportive of me because you’re an angel.

Harry: I’m very selfish. I think I would have made you stay with me and for me. 

Anna: You probably wouldn’t have gotten my hints and wouldn’t even know I liked you.

Harry: Truer words have never been spoken, especially considering it’s you we’re talking about, the queen of inappropriate jokes. 

Anna: Yeah I know I joked too much about it. When I come back from Italy, I’m gonna have to press reset. Otherwise you’ll never know. 

Harry: Exactly. Well, maybe when you come back from Italy I’m already married. 

Anna: Well in that case I’d abandon my plan of conquest. 

Harry: Don’t. 

                                                          - --- -

Luke

Anna: Hey! Do you still want to go to see The Lion King? I mean since you’re so “fed up” with home blablabla I thought maybe you didn’t even want to go anymore. 

Luke: But what does one thing have to do with the other? Sure I want to. 

Anna: Okay, cool. When?

Luke: If you’re the one who doesn’t want to go just say it ;)

Anna: I’ll go with you anywhere even though you say I’m usless as a co-driver, you wouldn’t let me drive your car, you tell me I’m not singing when I am and you don’t want to have a swim with me...

Luke: All of that is completely taken out of context haha

Anna: I beg to differ

Luke: I was gonna tell you you were lying but actually all of that is true except from the swimming part because I am dying to go swimming with you. You were driving me crazy with your fucking bikini today.

Anna: You’re such a liar. You are the one who’s going to drive me crazy. I actually hate you for that.

Luke: I’ll take it because there isn’t love without a bit of hate. 

Anna: You’re the worst. 

Luke: xx

Anna: I’m gonna play the piano. Fuck you.

Luke: Yes, play some so you don’t sound like a robot next time ;)

Anna: Excuse me? I won’t play for you ever again for saying that, mister.

Luke: No! Please do play for me! You were the one who said that!

Anna: But it’s not the same when I say it that when the man of my dreams agree... 

Luke: Who is the man of your dreams?

Anna: You know what? I’ll stop so you don’t have to play it dumb anymore hahaha

Luke: I like playing dumb :) 

Anna: Sometimes I really think you’re not even playing... Like you just are that dumn.

Luke: What are your plans for tomorrow? 

Anna: Idk

Luke: Okay then we’re going to the movies. I’ll pick you up and you show me the way. I checked and they’re showing it at 19, 20.30, 21.30 and 22. Which one do you prefer? 

Anna: I think 20.30? 

Luke: Cool! 

Anna: You can still bail out. I mean if you want to go to another theatre that’s closer I understand. 

Luke: Oh boy, how many times do I have to tell you? If you don’t want to go there you can say it haha 

Anna: No, no, it’s perfect for me. 

Luke: Cool, it’s perfect for me too. 

Anna: Okay, then see you tomorrow.

Luke: Can’t wait xx  

[marveling-chrisevans]

What If - Walk of shame

What If - Walk of Shame 

Chris Evans x OFC

Chapter six - 1932 words

Part One | Part Two | Part three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six 

Warnings: uh swearing maybe? 

Summary: What if. What if you out of the blue and on an impulse applied for a contest, and what if you won that. What if you met someone who didn’t know you existed, and what if you asked them for a drink after.  What if this impulse changed your entire life.  ** note I didn’t win so I don’t know how all this would go down but this would be how I would have loved it to happen.. the first chapter completely happened.. the texts might not be the same. But it happened**  

 Tag List: @smoothdogsgirl​ @torntaltos​ @patzammit​ – If you wanna be tagged just make a comment below and I am happy to do that or just DM me, whichever

This story is fully caught up and posted on AO3 and Wat pad. I am going to be combining chapters to catch Tumblr up. but if you would like to read everything right now then go ahead. Also please 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/184900452-what-if

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506152/chapters/43856086

Faith woke up in a daze, she was laying on her side as she slowly opened her eyes to the sun streaming into the room. She saw the view of Hollywood from the hills, She was confused at where she was. The last thing that she remembers was that she was in a car on the way back to the hotel, then everything went kinda blurry. She looked around the room, and smelled food. She was extremely hung over and wanted some food.

She got up and wrapped the sheet around herself cause she didn’t have any clothes, and couldn’t find her dress, that she wore last night. She got up, walked toward the door that was closed and then walked out into the open lay out of the room. You could see the living room to the kitchen, seeing Chris was standing behind the island of the kitchen talking to what looked like his sister and his mother. She quickly backtracked into the room.

She didn’t escape unseen. Dodger jumped up and barked slightly as soon as she disappeared behind the door. She pushed it closed but didn’t get it all the way there as dodger pushed it all the way open. Faith Grabbed her phone and escaped onto the on suite bathroom and found her way into the tub..

Faith looked at her for the first time in most likely 12 hours, and saw that she had like 9 missed calls and texts from rose, and one from her brother. She slide into the tub as dodger jumped up to join her in there and started licking her face which made her laugh “hi puppy, can you stop?” She wondered as she called rose..

Rose answered the phone “Well fuck thank god your not dead, where the hell are you! Ive been worried sick!”

Faith laughed slightly “currently in a bathtub, with a dog, dodger actually in Chris’s Bathroom.. uh naked.. we had sex last night. Apprently, I mean I remember most of the night but then it gets fuzzy..”

Rose gasped on the other end of the phone “how was it, I want to know everything don’t leave out a single thing, oh my god.. I knew it.. MY SHIP IS ALIVE”

Faith pulled the phone from her head “hungover” she angry whispered in the phone “and I don’t remember much of it. Like I said fuzzy, but I can tell you it was the best sex I’ve ever had.. Oh god I hope he used a condom” she said back into the phone

“i did” Chris replied with a smile on his face. Faith looked up to where the voice came from “it was really good for me too”

“i gotta go rose I uh, gotta go uh ill be back in a little bit” Faith said and hung up the phone sliding further into the bathtub to hid which made dodger thing that it was okay to start kiss attacking her again.

“Dodger out” Chris said as dodger then stopped and put his head on the side of the tub looking at the owner “Glad to see you are awake.. I put your clothes on the bed, I washed them this morning. Also there is some coffee in there, I have to go do something with the avengers. I also put my number in your phone. Take as much time as you need, shower do whatever my family just left to go to the beach so you are the only one here” he replied to her

“and where is here so I can uh summon an taxi” She asked looking up at him trying not to make this all awkward more than it already was. Because its be honest it was really awkward for her “also just so you know I didn’t mean for this to happen.. I got way to drunk and I don’t do this, and oh my god did I say, ‘im feeling it now mr. Krabs?” She wondered looking at him

He nodded and laughed slightly “you did and Faith its alright, you are an amazing girl, and like I said last night id love to get to know you more.” He said “i gotta go but can I see you before you leave tomorrow?”

Faith answered her phone as it rang “yes this is Faith Young, Wait what? Are you serious yeah I can be there for an interview tomorrow morning” She smiled “yeah also that would be cool have always wanted to attend one, yeah two tickets. Thanks” she said back to the person and then looked at him and bite her lip as she pulled herself out of the tub making sure the towel was wrapped around herself “uh I guess not, I have an interview tomorrow, for my dream job non the less. So uh maybe? If its later today” you replied “but maybe not? I don’t know” She smiled “maybe we will just have to leave at it as what it is. A winners trip to Meet Chris Evans at the Premier of EndGame” Faith said back to him as he nodded

“I hope that isn’t the case, I have a feeling we will run into each other again” Chris replied as he walked over to her and kissed her one last time before he left the house

Faith closed her eyes when Chris kissed her and wished It would have lasted a little longer. The linger feeling of his pillow soft lips against hers. She stood there a while longer with her eyes closed wishing he never left. She heard the door close and dodger come back in and looked at her.

Faith got up from hiding in the tub, and went out and found her dress. Like he said it was laying on the bed. She wasn’t about wearing that home for the walk of shame. She went and showered in his shower, then raided his dresser and found a basic t shirt and just some smaller looking sized sweatpants.

She then called herself an Lyft. Headed back to the hotel she couldn’t believe that she just slept with her celebrity crush. The one guy who would have been on her exception list when she got married. She took a deep breath as she waited on the street for her ride. She had managed to get out of the house without running into his family. She thanked whoever was listening for that.

On the drive back to the hotel she made basic small talk talk with the driver. Once getting to the hotel she thanked the man and Gave him a cash tip as she had some from the night before, knowing that these drives prefer that over the tip in the app so they can use it right way.

Riding the elevator and going into the room felt so basic compared to her last 12 hours. She came in the room and flopped down on the bed next to Rose.

Rose sat up from where she was on her phone in her bed and looked at Faith “So are you going to spill the tea or are you just going to walk of shame?” She wondered looking at her friend “also are you in Chris’s clothes, because we could get serious money off of those

“Rose I swear if you keep yelling or talking loud or whatever I am going to punch you in the face. Also its not a walk of shame if you're not ashamed it happened?” She questioned back before she kept talking “Also we are not going home tonight, You know that job I told you applied for about a month ago for my jobs tv program, to be a project manager, well apparently I got accepted and They want me to go there for the keynote program tomorrow to show me off or something, give a presentation. I am not sure as I stopped listening when I heard I got the job.” she said back to her with putting her face into the bed sighing heavily ignoring the last comment about eBay comment.

“it can still be a walk of shame..” Rose countered back

Faith got up and walked over to her suitcase shaking her head, “remind me when we finally get home to look at my Lyft pick up history to send these back” She said to rose knowing she wouldn’t remember because she was going go from one project to another and just throw everything in the laundry

Rose smirked “ not gonna do that, but before we hop on another plane I do wanna go to this event at the Chinese theater I heard about, also the walk of fame is over there.” Rose replied knowing what she was asking and what was going on. Faith listened to her talk as she flung on some leggings and a flowing crop top that just showed a little of the top of her midriff. Running a brush through her hair. “okay fine let me take something for this headache and along s we stop at a coffee place I don’t care” Faith replied fixing her make up touching it up and throwing on a pair of sunglasses grabbing her bag “lets go”

The two walked out of the hotel stopping at the first coffee shop for Faith, then finished there walk to the walk of fame. Looking at the stars, stopping for the ones they loved posing and stopping at a few stars as they go. They were across the street from the Chinese theater as faith looked at it confused “what did you say was going on here?” Staring at the arch with the original six in it “Rose if this is an avengers event I don’t wanna be here, I embarrassed myself and then slept with one of the stars.. uh no”

The announcer started to announce the actors as they came out one by one and the producers. Faith of course started to try and hide behind the Camera people and taking a few steps back to be more blended into the crowd

Rose smirked “oh its not like he is going to see you standing in the crowd” she replied back as She went back to cheering as they came out. Faith kinda just tired to blend in and not bring attention to herself. Making sure her sunglasses were firmly in place. Faith hid the best she could till he looked out in the crowd. Even tho the both of them were wearing sunglasses, your eyes connected. You quickly turned your head to look at something else. She could feel his eyes linger at her.

Chris lingered his eye on her, it was the same girl he was with last night. He knew that hair and those lips anywhere. He felt it in his soul. Someone said his name which caught his attempting which made him loose her in the crowd. That could have been because she quickly went and hid behind the building.

Faith took a deep breath as it felt like her heart was in her throat she didn’t know what to do. She went and sat down on the bench that was near by and texted rose her location, and waited for her to come to her. After the ceremony, Rose Found faith and they did the rest of the things tourists do when they are in LA, before going back to the hotel getting their stuff and flying on the plane to the next location in California, this time for Faiths job.