#like it was kinda sweet farkle asked if he may hug her

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Kinda weird right after we get told Isadora is autistic and Farkle actually respects her boundaries by asking if he may hug her, episode proceeds to have a moment of Lucas putting his jacket around her, aka crossing her boundaries.

[licenselesswriter]

Jumping

- How's my tie? - Lucas asks for the fourth time to Zay, the one who was pretty tired of his nervous questions.

- Lucas, it's perfect, your tie it's fucking perfect and if you ask me about another thing about the incredible suit Farkle gets you, I promise, I'm gonna slap you in the face so hard that Maya would think that you are wearing makeup - Zay replies, having his own mental breakdown after more than 23 questions about his outfit - Do you want to hear your future wife mock you in the middle of your wedding ceremony because you are wearing makeup? - He asks his best friend.

- Gee - Lucas replies stepping away a few centimeters from Zay - I just want to be perfect for her, that's all - Lucas adds, only to be interrupted by Farkle.

- Lucas, you get Maya to say yes when you propose to her, I think that makes you perfect, for her - the younger Minkus says, making Lucas felt a bit relieved.

Until he saw the worried face of Riley, running down the aisle.

- Oh no - Lucas says -  It's my tie? I told you it was my tie - Lucas adds.

And just like he promises, Zay slaps him in the face really hard, making all their friends look at them.

- I told you - Zay says before Lucas was able to say anything.

- Hey, can I borrow the groom for a few minutes? thanks - Riley says and fastly pull Lucas to the side - Before you say anything, she still wants to marry you - Riley adds, allowing him to blurt his tensions in relief.

- Then what is it? - Lucas asks Riley. She only looks down, pulling his nerves out from him again - Riley! - he says raising his voice a little, startling the brunette.

- Yes - Riley says coming back from his spacing - Maya wants to see you - she adds.

Lucas just looks at her with a weird look, then look at Cory who was in the first row - Can I do that? - he asks his history teacher.

- Well, if Riley says "it's for the bride", then you can - Cory answers getting a bit nervous.

- It's for the bride - Riley fastly says. Lucas smiles to her and unbuttons his jacket, running down from the rooftop.

It took him mere 4 minutes to cross with Shawn, who was outside Riley's room - It's up to you now buddy - Shawn says to Lucas and pats him in the shoulder, walking to the stairs, to give them some privacy.

Lucas stood in front of his future wife best friend door for 2 minutes, thinking how to start. A joke? maybe not the greatest idea, nervous speech? worst, so he decides to go with honesty.

After all, being honest with her was what put them there.

- Maya, what's wrong? - Lucas asks her, hoping she still wants to marry him.

- Huckleberry? - Maya asks through the door, surprised that he agreed to come.

- Yep, what's wrong? - Lucas asks again.

- Nothing - Maya answers, making him felt the relief he needed - Well, I'm nervous - she adds. Lucas can't avoid letting a soft laugh escape - Don't laugh asshole - she recriminates him.

- Sorry, but I'm nervous too, it's my first time getting married - Lucas jokes. He hears a soft laugh accompanied by an idiot in the same tone - You still want to marry me? - Lucas asks this time, in a more serious tone.

- 100% sure - Maya assures him - What about you Huckleberry? still, want to marry me? - she asks.

Outside the waiting room, Lucas just smiles - Since the day I thought I would lose you to England - he confesses.

Maya smile and then did the math - Wasn't that 13 years ago? - she asks with an unconscious smile on her face.

- Yeah - Lucas answers with a laugh - Can you believe I've been in Love with you for all that time? - Lucas asks, making her laugh again - Maya - he calls her - I don't know what is making you nervous, but I want to promise you that no matter what, I won't run for the hills unless you agreed to go hiking in Texas again - Lucas adds.

- That would never happen again - Maya replies making him laugh.

- Come on, it was fun, and there were a lot of stars - Lucas recaps their trip - Also, remember what else we did? yeah? that was pretty awesome - he adds.

Maya smile remembering the first time he invites her to Texas as his girlfriend - Lucas, I won't ever have sex with you on a hill again - she says, putting a smile on his face.

- Anyways, Maya, I think I already told you this, but I want you to be happy, and if you're not sure about this, it's ok, I just want you to be happy, with or without me - Lucas says looking at Shawn waiting in front of the stairs to the rooftop - Of course, I highly suggest you be happy with me by your side, because you know, I Love you and I kinda want to spend the rest of my life with you - he adds, making her smile again - Well, it's up to you now, if you want to get married, you know where to find me - he says, walking out the Matthews apartment.

- Did you solve it? - Shawn asks Lucas when he saw him walking his best friend’s apartment.

- There wasn't a problem - Lucas replies with a smile - But if she decides to run away from the wedding, I'm telling you now, I'm gonna drink everything on the reception - he adds with a smile, making Shawn laugh hard.

Shawn hugs Lucas tight - Go get your place - he says with a huge smile on his face.

Lucas takes a jog to the rooftop to be greeted by his bests men.

- Are we good? - Riley asks Lucas, he just smiles back at her.

5 minutes later, everything starts again for Lucas. The soft accords of Sweet Creature on an acoustic guitar make him smile, he knew she did that for him. everyone gets up. Shawn appears first, and after him, Maya. Lucas can't avoid feeling his eyes getting a bit watery by looking at Maya, she was gorgeous as usual, but looking at her wearing a wedding dress makes everything more brilliant for him.

Shawn offers his arm to Maya and she gladly grips into it, He laughs a little and comforts her by caressing her hand. The walk slowly to Lucas, and Shawn feels how his eyes imitate his.

- Don't cry, it's for the bride - Maya whisper to Shawn.

- Let me be - Shawn replies. Finally, they both get to the altar, Shawn looks at Lucas, now almost a head taller than him - You know I can still kill you, right? - he asks his future son in law.

- You think you can get to us before she kills me first? - Lucas asks back cleaning the tears of happiness from his eyes while Shawn laughs again.

- Shush, it's my moment - Maya says to Shawn while she takes Lucas' hand. Lucas looks at her like the first time - What? - she asks him.

- You're beautiful - h Lucas replies.

- You're not bad - Maya replies and fixes his tie.

- I ask you about my tie - Lucas says to Zay while he holds Maya's hand, walking close to the altar.

- Leave it like that, your tie looks good - Mr. Feeny says looking at the couple.

Maya just looks at Shawn and he just answers with his thumbs up.

- We are gathered here today to witness the union of this young couple: Lucas Joseph Friar and Maya Penelope Hunter - Mr. Feeny starts looking at the smiling couple - Before continuing with this ceremony, I invite you both to share your vows - he adds. Riley fastly put a ring in Maya's hand. She grabs Lucas' hand and caress it, he let a short laugh escape.

- Lucas, I don't know what I did in my life to be blessed with such a Huckleberry like you - Maya starts, making herself and their friends laugh - I'm glad that I found you, I'm glad that I had a 10 second relationship with you, I'm glad for sharing most of my life with you, I'm glad that I let you love me and most important, I'm glad that I would be able to share the rest of my life with you, sap or not - she adds, making Lucas laugh while she put a ring on his finger.

- Mr. Friar, you're up - Mr. Feeny says to Lucas, the one who only holds onto Maya's hands - Something wrong Mr. Friar? - Mr. Feeny asks him, he just nods denying.

He looks at Maya's eyes - I was saving this moment on my memory because this is my moment and my moment only - he says while Zay put Maya's ring on Lucas' hand - Maya, I Love you, I love that you want to use me as a canvas when you're bored, I love the way your nose scrunches when I ate the last taco and you say you don't care, I love that I took me years to convince you to give me a chance. I love many things about you, but I have only one regret on my life and that's not asking you to marry me sooner - he adds, putting a smaller ring on Maya's finger. Smackle caresses Riley's shoulder and everyone close enough can hear the "I don't take it personally" that Riley whisper to Smackle - Here - Lucas says pulling her hand and put it between his jacket and his shirt - Can you feel that? You and only you can make it race like that - he adds, making Maya bite her lower lip.

- I'm gonna give you both an A+ for those vows, they were beautiful - Mr. Feeny says clearing his throat - Maya Penelope, Lucas Joseph, join hands please - he adds. Lucas just grabs her free hand but don't let her take her other hand from his heart - Do you, Maya Penelope, take Lucas Joseph to have and to hold until death do you part? - he asks the bride.

- I Do - Maya answers. Lucas smile grows 3 sizes while his heart races an entire marathon.

- And do you, Lucas Joseph, take Maya Penelope to have and to hold until death do you part? - he asks the groom.

Lucas just smiles to Maya - After all this time and always, I do - Lucas answers.

- Then I pronounce you Man and Wife, you may kiss the bride - Mr. Feeny says. Lucas and Maya take a moment to look at each other and then they kiss.

- Are you crying? - Zay asks Farkle.

- I'm not crying; you're crying - Farkle answers.

Lucas just look at his friends, then looks at Maya, she grabs his hand and he interlocks his fingers with her, putting a little smile on her face.

- Lucas - Maya calls, his now, husband.

- Yes? - Lucas answers the call.

- We jumping or what? - she asks him, making Shawn smile on the back.

- Always - Lucas replies. Maya kisses his cheek while they walk down the rooftop.

[smilzforlife-blog]

It Still Doesn’t Matter

A/N: Rucas. As requested many months ago here is part two to It Doesn’t Matter. I’ll work on the last part of this trilogy and hope to get it out sooner than this part. It’s been 3 years since Riley left New York and found new happiness on her side of the country, until one visit turns it upside down. Enjoy!

Another three and a half years have come and gone since our senior year. I am now in California and two semesters away from graduating. I can honestly say moving away from everyone and everything in New York was the best decision for me. Of course I still talk to everyone here and there and we all get together when we can (though both seem to be fewer as the years have gone on), but I love being on my own side of the world.

The one thing I feel guilty about is how much I don’t visit or talk to them. It’s just that Farkle and Smackle are constantly doing research, Zay decided to double-major and add a minor, so he’s even busier than your typical college student, Lucas has been working his butt off to get into veterinary school, but I talk to him more than the others.

And then there’s my sweet peaches, Maya. She’s been going to school, working at an art gallery and really focusing on her art. I’m so proud of her.

I learned the spring semester of our freshman year that Lucas and Maya had broken up and Lucas transferred to the same college as Zay in Texas. I asked about it, but all that either of them would tell me was that it was a long time coming.  

I hate to admit how happy I was when I found out. They aren’t together anymore, but it still doesn’t matter. Lucas and I could never be together anyways.

I get back home from work and all I want to do is curl up in bed and take a three hour nap. But as soon as I change into my comfy clothes, I hear the door open. It can only be one person.

“Hey babe,” he tells me with a wide smile.

I smile back at him. He’s someone I’ve come to love these past three years. He’s taught me to love my imperfections and he loves me for who I am. He makes me happy and all the moments we’re together, I forget about Lucas. But it still doesn’t matter, because a part of me still loves Lucas and probably always will.

He gives me a kiss and sets his things by the couch. “So, do you wanna go to the gym with me before dinner?” he asks.

I raise an eyebrow and shake my head. He asks me the same question every time he comes home and every time I tell him no. He thinks eventually I’ll say yes.

He goes to our room to change, muttering something along the lines of “you’re missing out” and I laugh silently to myself. He comes back from our room with his gym bag in hand, kisses my forehead and leaves.

I sit on the couch and take out my phone and press on the unsent text to Lucas in my phone. All it says is ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to send it. It’s been weeks since we’ve last talked. Just as I set my phone aside, I hear it ring and see that it’s Maya.

I smile before answering. “Peaches!”

We talk for a while (she is mostly raving about this artist who’s become her mentor) before she asks if I would come to an opening where one of her pieces will be displayed. I tell her of course I will.

I hear a low knock on the door and tell Maya I have to get going. I answer it without seeing who it is and as soon as I do, I wish I had.

My heart stops for a split second and then I feel it quicken its pace. I blink a few times to see if he’ll disappear, but it’s no use. He’s really here. It’s Lucas.

He smiles at me and I suddenly feel all my breath escape me.

“May I come in?” he asks politely.

I nod my head and say nothing as he enters. My eyes stay on him the whole time. It had been so long since I’ve seen him in person, it’s as if I’m seeing an illusion.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, I finally find my voice. “What are you doing here?”

He tugs on the straps of his backpack and looks down at his feet. It’s as if he’s trying to come up with an answer. Finally, he looks up at me with a half-hearted smile.

“I don’t really know. I just wanted to see you.”

He just wanted to see me? Did he miss me that much that he had to come all the way here to see me? Whatever his reason, it still doesn’t matter.

“I mean, I know we facetime almost every day, but I can’t hug you over the phone or anything like that, plus I missed you,” he says while rubbing the back of his neck.

I can’t help but smile at him. “Would you like to sit down?” I offer, walking towards the kitchen table. He sits and places his backpack next to him. “Want anything to drink?”

After I get him a glass of water, I sit across from him. While he’s looking around my apartment, I study him. His hair is still the same, just a little more unkempt than I remember; there’s some stubble around his jaw that I didn’t notice at first; small shadows cast under his eyes as if he’s tired—which I’m sure school is the likely cause. But overall, he’s still the same Lucas I remember over the years.

His eyes return to mine and we both just smile at each other. “So, no one else wanted to come with you here?” I ask.

He looks down for a moment and shakes his head. “No one knows I’m here,” he says.

I raise an eyebrow and look at him confusingly. “No one? Not even Zay?” I ask.

He shakes his head again. “Nope. Let’s just say that this trip was very impulsive. I went to the airport right after class. Next thing I knew I was standing outside your door, hoping you’d be here. I just hope this wasn’t a bad time.”

I want to say yes; it is a bad time. But he’s here and I can’t ask him to leave now. I honestly don’t want him to leave. I’ve missed him.

“No, of course not. I’m glad you’re here.” I smile at him and when he smiles back, it’s as if it’s just me and him–nothing else matters.

“Me, too. You’ve got yourself a nice little place here in Cali,” he says, looking around once more.

His story and observation got me thinking. “How did you even know where I lived?”

He lets out a sigh before speaking. “Well, you see, during the winter break, we went to Maya’s one time and there was an envelope on her desk addressed from you. And I may have taken a picture of it just in case I decided to come visit you.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise and let out a quiet “oh”. I had forgotten I sent Maya letters, only for her to just call me back in reply. “You could’ve just asked me,” I say shyly.

“Sure, but what fun would that be. I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t want you to know that I was thinking about visiting you,” he says playfully with a smirk across his lips.

I blush at his statement. I wish he wouldn’t do that, but at the same time, I’m happy he does. “So, how have you’ve been?” I finally ask.

The smirk disappears as he licks his lips and the playful look on his face turns serious. “I’ve been okay. School’s stressful, but I’m managing. I start applying to vet school soon.”

I reach my hand out to his and gently squeeze it, smiling at him. “You’ll get in. You’re going to be an amazing veterinarian.”

He puts his other hand over mine and a jolt of electricity radiates up my arm. He looks as if he feels the same thing, but I doubt it. He’ll never feel the same way about me the way I do him.

“Thank you Riley, for always believing in me.”

“Of course. I’ll always believe in you.” He smiles back at me gratefully.

Before either of us could speak again, the front door opens, and I quickly whip my head towards it and remove my hands from Lucas’.

“Babe, you really missed out on a good workout today. Let me tell you…” he trails off as soon as he sees Lucas. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know we were expecting company,” he says, dropping his gym bag at the door.

As he walks towards us, I get up and briefly look down at Lucas, who appears more hurt than confused. “Kevin, this is Lucas Friar. Lucas, this is Kevin…my fiancé,” the latter I say hesitantly.

Lucas’ eyes dart up to mine and I can’t imagine what he’s thinking at this moment, but the hurt look on his face hasn’t disappeared.

Kevin is next to me now and has his arm around my shoulders. “Looks like the cat is out of the bag,” he says and sticks out his hand to shake Lucas’. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Lucas. Riley’s told me so much about you.”

Lucas looks from me, to Kevin’s hand and then at Kevin, who’s smiling and waiting patiently for Lucas to react. “Thank you,” Lucas finally says. “It’s nice to meet you too,” he replies as he shakes his hand.

I let out a breath of relief and smile a little. “Well Lucas, will you be staying for dinner?” Kevin asks.

Lucas opens his mouth, but no words come out. “Oh, you should stay. I’m cooking tonight,” I chime in.

He nods his head. “Sure, that’d be great.”

Kevin clasps his hands together in delight and walks back to get his gym bag. “Great! Now if you’ll excuse me, I kinda smell and need to shower,” he says, closing our bedroom door behind him.

Lucas is still sitting on the chair, staring at the empty space before him. At this point, his expression is vacant –no emotion. I’m not sure what to make of it. The only thing I can say is, “So, do you want to help me make dinner?”

He turns his head in my direction and his once vacant expression, now shows a hint of anger. “Fiancé?” he asks.

I turn towards the kitchen sink and grasp the edge of the counter, shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath. Without answering, I walk to the refrigerator to get everything I need to make dinner.

“Riley!” he shouts.

His voice startles me as I drop everything on the counter. I run my fingers through my hair and finally look at him.

“What? What do you want me to say? That he’s not really my fiancé?” I retort.

He looks taken aback by my comment or the tone of my voice. Maybe both.

“I’m sorry. I’m just…confused.” I wait for him to continue. “I mean, out of all the thousands of phone calls with you for the past three years, you never once mentioned him,” he says, with his thumb pointing towards my bedroom.

There’s anger in his voice after the last sentence. But he has no right to be angry. “You never asked,” I say coolly.

His face contorts into confusion again. “Of course I have,” he answers back.

I shake my head. “No, I ask you, but you never once asked me back. You just assumed I wasn’t dating anyone.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh really? Then why have you never asked?”

His eyes lower and move quickly from left to right, as if trying to search for a believable answer. He finally looks up at me with a look of realization.

“I don’t know,” he says quietly.

After that we don’t talk, only to finish dinner. Kevin ended up helping us since nothing really got done while he was showering. Everything is going surprisingly well –Lucas and Kevin are chatting about things that don’t interest me. It’s only when my name is mentioned in conversation that I pay attention.

“So, Riley tells me you’re going to be a veterinarian. That’s awesome!” Kevin tells Lucas.

Lucas nods as he finishes chewing his food.  “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“I think it’s so awesome. It’s not an aspiration you hear nowadays. If I had any connections, I’d put in a good word for you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. So, um…what is it that you do? I can’t remember if Riley mentioned it or not?” Lucas sits back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest, waiting for an answer.

I give Lucas a look that he ignores, and glance towards Kevin, who only smirks.

“I’m actually a lawyer.”

Lucas raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, wow. That’s cool. Did you know Riley’s mom is a lawyer too?”

I roll my eyes and shake my head subtly. What was he trying to do?

Kevin just chuckles. “Yes, I am aware of that. She’s the one who got helped me get the job at the firm.”

It wasn’t the response Lucas was hoping for by the looks of his expression.

“So…how did you two meet anyways?”

I look at him and he’s staring at me. I want to say something, but his stare and the tension between us render me speechless.

“In one of Riley’s classes her freshman year,” Kevin answers.

Lucas looks towards Kevin now.  I let out a small sigh of relief. “Were you her professor or something?”

Kevin looks slightly offended, but laughs it off. “Not quite. Teacher’s assistant. Fell in love with Riley at first sight,” he says, grabbing my hand and squeezing it gently.

I only smile at him. I didn’t have that reaction towards him right away. There’s only been one person I fell in love with at first sight –and he is sitting across the table from me.

“It took a while to get her to go out with me, but I finally got her to agree and the rest is history.”

It did take some time for me to agree. Between our four year age difference and the fact he was my TA, it seemed weird for us to date during the semester. I thought I could love him…I do love him, but it still doesn’t matter, because my heart still loves another, who doesn’t love me the same way.

The conversation veers from Kevin and mine’s relationship and onto less personal things. After a while I look at my phone and notice how late it is.

“Is that the time already?” Kevin asks looking down at my phone too. “Gosh, I gotta go in early tomorrow to prepare for court,” he says as he gets up from the kitchen table.

Lucas also gets up from the table. “I should probably get going myself,” he says, reaching for his backpack.

“Where are you staying at?” I ask. It’s one of the first things I actually say to him throughout dinner.

Lucas looks down at his feet and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure. I figured I’d just find a hotel for the night.”

“That’s nonsense. Don’t go spending money for one night. Stay here. We have a spare bedroom. You can be the first guest to try it out,” Kevin says with a big grin.

Lucas looks between me and Kevin, unsure of how to respond. “Please stay,” I say with a half-hearted smile. I genuinely mean it, hoping he’ll take the offer.

His eyes light up, or so I think, and he smiles back at me. “Okay,” he answers.

“You two should continue to catch up. I’ll make sure the guest room and bathroom has everything you need before I go to bed,” Kevin offers.

Lucas sits back down and watches as Kevin finishes up in the guest room and closes the door to our room behind him. “He’s very nice,” he says, turning around towards me.

I raise an eyebrow. “Were you expecting him to be a jerk?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Kinda.”

I roll my eyes and run my fingers through my hair. He’s smiling at me, or more like mischievously grinning. “What?” I ask.

He laughs. “I’m just wondering how your dad reacted when Kevin asked him for your hand in marriage. I can only imagine.”

I sigh. “Well, you’ll have to keep imagining. My parents don’t know. No one does. You’re the only person we’ve told.”

His face goes stoic. “Wait…he never asked your dad for his blessing?”

I shake my head no.

“I can’t believe he didn’t. I would’ve asked,” he says, placing his hand over his chest. “I even asked your dad for it to just take you out on your first date.”

I don’t understand why he’s angry. I’m not even sure why he cares so much.

I cross my arms over my chest and sit back. “Well, I’m not marrying you, I’m marrying him. And he’s not you, Lucas. He didn’t have to ask my dad.” I can feel the tears surface, but I hold them back somehow.

Lucas notices and comes over to sit next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “I-I’m sorry Riley.”

I turn my head to look at him. “Why do you even care?”

He takes his hand off my shoulder and looks away. “I don’t,” he says.

I roll my eyes. I can tell he’s lying. “Lucas, tell me the truth.”

He finally looks at me and sighs heavily. “I…Riley, you’re one of my best friends, of course I care. I don’t know him. I don’t know if he’s good enough for you. I mean, why didn’t you tell anyone about him?”

That was the question I was afraid he’d ask and he did. “It’s hard to explain,” I respond.

He’s smirking. “Try me.”

“Ok. It’s really not that hard to explain, I just don’t think you’ll understand.”

“Riley…”

I sigh. “Fine, fine. I’m happy. I’m happy with him.”

His eyebrow raises slowly and he sits back into the chair. “Really? Because that sounds like the opposite of why someone wouldn’t want to tell their friends that they met someone and they’re getting married.”

I throw my hands up in defensive. “I know. I told you, you wouldn’t understand. It’s just that…every time I told you guys something I was happy about, it somehow got taken away from me. And I wanted this happiness to last until we told everyone.”

He looks down and bites his lip. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” he says, sincerely.

I know he’s staring at me, but all I can do is stare at the way his lips move. All I want is to feel them one last time on mine. But then I look towards my bedroom and remember the man I’m marrying is a few feet away from me.

“Riley, when do you plan on telling everyone about this?”

I finally look at him and shrug my shoulders. “We plan to this summer, when we go to New York.”

“Oh,” he says.  “Look, it’s getting late, I’m sure you have an early day tomorrow, too,” he says getting up.

“Surprisingly, I’m off from work and school tomorrow, but you’re right, it is getting late. What time is your flight tomorrow anyways?”

“When I book it, I’ll let you know. But I’ll try to get one at the earliest tonight. I don’t want to intrude any more than I have.” He’s halfway to the guest room.

I stand up and watch him. “Lucas…” He turns around. “You’re not intruding. Book a late flight. Let me take you around the city tomorrow and I’ll drive you to the airport afterwards,” I offer.

He’s smiling, which makes me smile. “Sounds like a plan. Good night, Riley.”

“Good night, Lucas.”

“I’ve had a wonderful day so far, thanks,” Lucas says as we get into my car.

“I’m glad. So, how much longer until you need to be at the airport?” I ask.

He turns his left wrist over and looks at his watch. “Probably in about an hour and a half.”

“Okay, so where else do you want to go? One more thing you’d like to see?”

He doesn’t answer right away. I turn towards him and he’s just looking out the window. I see a hint of a smile from the side and he looks at me. “Take me somewhere only you go, somewhere no one else goes, but you.”

I take him where he asks. It’s nowhere special, but it’s special to me. It’s near a neighborhood by my apartment, along a walking trail –a small bridge that overlooks a lake. I go there to think, to take a walk, or to just watch the ducks swim casually across the lake.

We walk along the path towards the bridge. He’s just slightly a step ahead of me, stretching his arms above his head, his chest puffing out a little, breathing in the fresh air. “So, this is where Riley Matthews comes to be alone?”

I lean and rest my arms on the railing of the bridge. Lucas’ back is against it and his arms are across his chest.

“Yeah, my little island of quietness.”

“It’s beautiful,” he says.

From the corner of my eye, I see he’s looking my way. When I turn my head to the side I see him looking at me, smiling. I can feel myself blush and quickly look back towards the lake.

“I thought Maya was supposed to visit you a few months ago?” he randomly asks.

“She was supposed to, but she had to cancel last minute.”

“She’s your best friend Riley,” he points out.

I give him a look. “Thanks for reminding me.”

“Why haven’t you told her of all people? Is she someone who takes your happiness away?”

I’m taken aback by his question, that a breath escapes me. I look at him stunned. “What? No, of course not, why would you even think that?”

He puts his arms down and turns around to grip the bridge railing. “Then why not tell her?” he asks.

I roll my eyes. “I will, in the summer.”

On the subject of Maya, all I want to do is ask him. Ask him why he picked her all those years ago. Ask if him I ever stood a chance.

But I say nothing. I just let the wind hit my face and mess up my hair. After a moment, I take another look in Lucas’ direction and when I do, he does the same thing and looks at me. He moves a little closer and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. And then he hugs me, making me feel secure and comforted. I hug him back, not knowing what else to do. He places a gentle kiss on my forehead and I freeze.  

His lips linger there longer than I expect. And then he whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry if I ever took your happiness away.”

It’s a gut-wrenching apology and I feel my eyes water. If only he knew.

By the time we know it, it’s time for me to take him to the airport. It’s a silent car ride and I’m thankful for it. I park at the drop-off area and get out to say good-bye.

I hug him and say, “Thank you for coming to visit.”

He rubs my back with his hands and I just want to stay in his arms a while longer. “You’re welcome,” he responds.

We let go and I put on a half-hearted smile. A part of me just wants to leave with him, but the other part of me remembers I have a fiancé here. “Have a safe flight. Text me when you get in.”

He chuckles, “I will.”

“And look out for your save the date and wedding invite in the mail!” I may have said that a little too enthusiastically by the looks of his slight frown. He just nods his head, gives me one last hug and walks away.

I watch him disappear into the crowd of people, wishing he could stay another day. Wishing things had turned out differently. No matter how much I try, there’s no denying it –I’ll always love him, but it still doesn’t matter.