#like it was funny but dude the angst from them just interrupting her and trying to coax frost out bc hey they dont need caitlin anymore
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moonastroellie · 5 months ago
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Ellie being the bully of reader but secretly being like very obssesed and possessive over them. Maybe even in a secret casual relationship but being rlly jealous.
I've decided I will make this into a series, so please enjoy!
"shup up Ellie"
Warnings; transgender!ellie, semi enemies to lovers, Ellie plays rugby and so do you, weed usage, Ellie is a jerk lol, pure angst and fluff.
fynn = brother
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Ellie fucking Williams, your brothers best friend- she was probably one of the biggest bullies towards you, even after you graduated high school, she would constantly throw slurs at you or make you feel bad about what you were doing. It never mattered what it was, you could just be making food and Ellie would comment on how you're making the food wrong even if you were doing it right.
"Fynn! Come have a look at this fucking idiot" she called your very stoned brother over who laughed at you after you spilt chocolate powder all over yourself. "Ellie it's not funny"
"It's fucking hilarious dude" Fynn says trying to calm his breathing as he laughs even harder, "funniest shit ever, anyways me and Ellie are going to go play video games, don't interrupt us" you scoff, before moving to grab a cloth to wipe up the floor, looking up from the floor you see Ellie still staring at you.
"Bro what do you want?" you ask her and she shakes her head "you look pathetic by the way, you're clumsy as fuck and you need to stop spilling everything" you wanted to cry, Ellie always bullied you, even if she took it too far she never apologized to you. "okay" you say with a tired tone, so done with her shit.
It was 9pm and your parents weren't home yet, but at least you finished baking your brownies! You sigh before grabbing a few and putting them onto a plate, making your way upstairs quietly and knocking on your brothers door softly to see if he's still awake after almost hot boxing the entire house.
Ellie opens the door and a massive amount of smoke blows into your face, you cough and start moving your hands to get rid of the smoke "bro what do you want?" Ellie says with a frown.
"I just wanted to see if you wanted some brownies I made, nothing personal" you hand her the brownies and she looks at you, maybe the only time you've seen her genuinely thankful for something you gave her.
"thanks bro" she mutters under her breath and you give her a subtle 'you're welcome' before shutting your brothers door and making your way to your room...
You sit cross legged on your bed and open your mac book to finally get some school projects done, before you know it three hours had passed and there's a knock at your door.
"come in?" your voice low, but sweet. it was so intoxicating. it was Ellie, you have a confused look on your face- her eyes red and looks like she had been crying but it was just the weed
"it was uhh." she itches her ear, "it was good, thanks" you study her face, and she's being genuine "if you want more go for it" you sigh, closing your laptop.
"you coming to the game on sunday?" she mutters out, "ellie if you're here to bully me or whatever just don't bother with it, I'm done with your shit"
"i'm trying to be fucking friendly for once" she spits out and it gives you a slight shock "right" you nod, she rolls her eyes and slams your door pretty loudly, making you flinch.
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You ended up going to the game on Sunday, which fucking sucked- you and Ellie were on the same team during rugby and your team lost by almost 30 points and you didn't know what to do...
You were sitting in the locket room with Ellie, fiddling with your bracelet begging Ellie won't try to talk to you.
"you did good out there" she mumbles to you "huh?"
"I'm saying you did good, we probably would've had it if Bredon didn't fucking injure his foot half way through the match" you giggle and agree.
"Nice bracelet by the way, where'd you get it?" Ellie moves her attention from your wrist to your eyes, you hum and decide if you should tell her or not "my grandma gifted it to me before she passed away"
"Oh- I didn't know I'm sorry for your lost" she says in a sympathetic tone, to say the very least you were confused about why she was acting nice to you... It was slightly overwhelming, you decide the tension is too think and you can't handle it anymore, you say bye before grabbing your gear and going out the locker room.
"Hey hun, that was amazing!" your mom hugs you tightly, you roll your eyes knowing she was only trying to be nice even though you lost, by A LOT.
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Ellie was going insane, she felt crazy for the awkward interaction with you "really Ellie?! Fucking 'nice bracelet'" she groans, pulling out her phone and sitting on her bed defeated- she knew what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't help it, she was obsessed and it was unhealthy, even she knew it.
She unlocks her phone before typing in your name on Instagram and following you, she sighs and flops down onto her bed.
Before she knows it, you accept her request and text her.
She shoots up and looks down at her phone to see your notification that says 'hey, did u mean to follow me?' she groans loudly, feeling awkward and didn't know what to say to you.
Hey yeah I did mean to..
Oh k
I don't wanna seem weird rn but what you doing over the weekend?
nm, y u askin?
Wanna come over to mine?
els if this is a game, just don't
Her heart thumped at you calling her els, she hearts the message and replies back fast.
Its not, I'm being genuine
Come over at 7pm tmmr?
sure cya then
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a/n: part 2?
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blazethecheeto · 7 months ago
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DON'T LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS HELLO
the sad part is they brought up such amazing plot points for caitlin after s4 and THAT'S WHEN SHE JUST STARTED TO...NOT BE IMPORTANT TO THE SHOW???
ugh i forgot about the blood on her hands, which reminds me about amunet and how frost was working for her in s3-s4 time skip.
like hey do you know how absolutely incredible an episode would have been about them navigating the criminal world together? because by this point frost was her protector but caitlin tried so hard to push her away. so imagine while frost is on a particularly gritty job, in a fight or talking to amunet about a deal, and caitlin just fronts unexpectedly.
and she sees the blood on her hands. she was working as a bartender one moment, and woke up surrounded by gang members. she would have been terrified. she would have been confused.
i mean the amount of times that could have happened, OR the opposite. she fronts right after the danger. she doesn't know why she feels sore. she doesn't know what frost has done. she doesn't know frost is doing it FOR them.
the guilt and fear cait must have felt, because she was alone and she thought she would be forever.
anyway that's just one example of my brain going into overdrive whenever i think of potential caitlin plots and it makes me so sad and makes me wanna write fanfiction lol
hey hi this might just be my obsession with her but hey. what happened to caitlin's screentime. i miss her. i miss when she had relevant plot and the writers cared about her and didn't just show up to say some science exposition then disappear for another two episodes.
i thought she was one of the main characters. LIKE SHE IS. it just feels like they forgot almost every plot point they have with her until the next caitlin centric episode. whcih gets more and more sparse each season.
s6 was actually brutal, she had virtually no screentime or episodes, it was all about frost, which i get that they wanted to do something different, but caitlin shouldn't have been completely pushed aside. like, i feel like after s4, they didn't know what to do with caitlin. if she doesn't have a love interest or her storyline with frost, they have no idea what to do with her plot.
so they don't include her at all.
WHICH PISSES ME OFF? BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH. SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR CAITLIN STORYLINES THAT DON'T INCLUDE FROST.
those brief, beautiful moments where she gets a chance to shine or have her angst, like when the flashbacks showed her getting fucking run over??? by her dad?? which she repressed for 20 years??? and that's not good plot material for the writers??
in 7x08, when caitlin just breaks down because she doesn't want to live a life without frost?? 2x22 when caitlin thinks she sees jay everywhere and is terrified?
they have an actual goldmine of a character with built-up plot and lore and angst and personality and she's literally my favourite flash character ever and they just. push her aside.
they have deleted scenes of really good caitlin stuff with danielle acting her ass off and they just scrap it because hey we actually wanna see more of another wells or cecile or allegra or whoever they decide to focus on today :3
guys i promised myself this wouldn't be an anti-flash rant, istg im just so sad. i love caitlin. i love frost. i love their storylines.
it just sucks the show doesn't seem to think they matter.
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minkkumaz · 1 year ago
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ALL GUMMED UP INSIDE
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no matter how hard seungheon tries, the hole in his heart grows deeper as you feel almost unreachable. small mistakes that grow into awkward situations. but he just doesn't know how much you like him too.
DISTANT LANDS AND OTHER ADVENTURES series
PAIRING lee seungheon x fem!reader WC 2.6k TAGS adults dni. friends to lovers trope. school au. fluff. mutual pining. crying. angst if you squint. cussing. they're extremely clueless. like very clueless. OMI NOTE this series keeps producing bangers i literally could not giggle any more right now. i'm sososo proud of this so i hope all the minors (adults pls get out u weirdos) in the 8turn fandom are fed.
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a void deepened in the confines of seungheon’s body, inching closer and closer to his soul. as if a foreign substance called love crawled its way to strangle him when he was most vulnerable. this feeling was constantly recurring, consuming him whole.
seeing the way your lips perked up into a fond smile when you heard a funny joke, throwing your head back in a fit of giggles. the crinkles on your forehead appearing when there’s a math question you don’t quite understand. it was impossible to look away.
of course, the endless teasing from his hyungs never faltered, but in a way he was too entranced to care. every emotion he felt was worth it to continue seeing you exist. the only shame being the mixed signals you sent. being unable to determine if the touch of your hands was a delusion, or if the spark existed.
every move he made felt like another mistake, staring hopelessly into your clueless eyes. it wasn’t you’re fault that you couldn’t catch on, but you weren’t completely oblivious. you felt it to, but random incoherent babbles came out instead of a clear ‘i like you too’
“why haven’t you just told her yet instead of trying to drop hints?” yungyu questioned, snapping seungheon out of his staring contest with the door.
“it’s not that easy dude. you’ve never had a girlfriend before, let alone a crush!” he whined, burying his face in his hands.
“you’ve never had a girlfriend either! i’m just saying if she hasn’t picked up on anything you should just flat out tell her.” yungyu suggests, ruffling the boys hair.
“i’m better off asking minho or haemin for help.” he groaned in annoyance.
“trust me, they’re going to tell you the exact same thing. take it or leave it.”
seungheon rolled his eyes, throwing a worn out eraser in his friends direction. the two boys had always been close, basically embodying a brotherly - like bond. when he wasn’t with you, he was stuck to yungyu’s side. though when all the fun passed by, he knew gyu meant well. 
the weight of staring at the door, hoping you’d pop in soon, was slightly lifted off his shoulders for the mere second he was distracted. love influenced him in mysterious ways, almost making him feel silly. was this love, or an idiotic perception to mess with his head? despite this, he appreciated the first conclusion a bit more. the sound of a door sliding open interrupted his thoughts suddenly.
when you saw him, your face visibly lit up. an award - winning smile appeared on your lips as you entered all the way into the classroom. you were slugging around a heavy bag on your back, looking as if you could almost topple over. stumbling in your black mary janes, you rush to seat yourself in the empty desk next to him.
“heonie!” you inhale and exhale quickly, dropping your backpack on the floor next to you and practically falling into your seat.
“good morning, y/n!” he greets you, mood immediately much brighter after seeing you, “why such a load?”
“it’s the first day of school! and i might’ve gone overboard with school supply shopping this year?” you shrug, “but look at all these cute pencils!”
you unzip your stationery pouch, pulling out an assortment of colorful led pencils with different patterns and little animals. one of them had a cute panda with puffy cheeks on the side, with a little charm to top it all off.
“here, i got this one for you.” you take his hand suddenly, placing it in his palm. your touch was warm, sending fireworks up his arm.
“for me? i already went school supply shopping, y/n, you really didn’t have to!” he fidgets with it in his fingers.
“well yeah, but i have a matching one!” you hold out another animal themed pencil in front of his face, “see? now it can be special to you.”
“thank you then!” he grinned sheepishly, clicking the end of it to watch the led protrude from cone at the top. 
“y/n, why didn’t you get me a cute pencil?” yungyu complained jokingly from the other side of seungheon’s desk.
“get a grip yungyu, you know i like heon more than you.” you scowl at him.
and on the other side of the spectrum, you and yungyu had a playful rivalry. everything was light hearted one hundred percent of the time, feeling the need to fight for seungheon’s attention. while he knew it was all friendly, his breath grew unsteady and his face began to burn at your words. 
“ouch.” yungyu smirked, giving seungheon a very dramatic wink before trying to go back to whatever he was doing. 
“ask yoonsung for matching stationery or something.” you recommend him.
“maybe he’ll get us some pens on top of that, better step up your game–” the loud blare of a school bell cut him off, initiating the start of classes.
turning your head from him, you took out the rest of your supplies and notebooks just in case you needed to write anything down. the rest of your classmates did the same as the teacher followed in shortly. you nudged the side of seungheon’s leg with your shoe, making him look in your direction.
‘lunch later?’ you mouthed sweetly, making him nod happily in response.
class was always a bore, long lectures giving you the most insufferable headaches ever. the teachers voice being toned out by any thought that decided to surface in your brain. each student almost looked like they were going to pass out, first days of school were like that sometimes. it was either basic instruction that you’ve already heard hundreds of times, or a review quiz.
what you mainly looked forward to in the day was lunch, like many others. this was when you got to spend most of your time with seungheon during the school day. your stomach fluttered with joy (and hunger), getting flashbacks to times when you’d sit closely to share a meal.
everyone filed out into the hallways, rushing to get to the cafeteria in time for the best food options. grabbing your backpack, you rustle through your things in search for your lunchbox. yet alas, that attempt was proven worthless as it was nowhere to be found. a groan left your throat, making your friend look over.
“did you forget your lunch at home again?” seungheon asked you, standing up from his desk.
“bro yes, how come i always do this?! that’s so lame i packed something so yummy too..” you grumble, begrudgingly slipping your arms into the sleeves of your backpack.
“jeez how can you be so adorable sometimes.” he said under his breath.
“you better be whispering about how to solve my lunch problem.” you quirk an eyebrow.
“i’ll just buy you lunch, so don’t worry about it.” he offers.
“aww heonie.” you cheer internally, “you’re too cute. i’ll make sure to pay you back tomorrow, pinky promise.” 
“no it’s fine! i uh– enjoy taking care of you, so really, don’t even think about it.” he acts casually, despite his marathon - winning heartbeat.
“ah.. thank you then.” you say flustered, darting your eyes to the floor.
awkwardness soon surfaces, covering the two of you in a blanket of silence. both of your heads were reeling, trying to comprehend what flirting was and if that conversation was anything close to that. naivety often caused problems between emotional teenagers, and you were no exception.
he enjoyed taking care of you, those words rang through your head like an insufferable telephone. maybe he cared for you more than you perceived him to.
“right, let’s go before they run out of your favorite.” he breaks the tension in the air.
“wait they have my favorite today?” you perk up.
“wouldn’t want you to miss it.” he walks in front of you towards the door, leaving you to catch up behind him.
running over to meet his side, the two of you make your way down the halls to ease your hunger. you’re shoulder to shoulder with him, arms bumping together occasionally, sometimes pinkies. to you, it was mundane being this close to seungheon, but it made you feel like you needed to scream into a pillow.
the cafeteria was bursting with conversation, everyone with their established friend groups and a few lonely stragglers. still following closely behind the boy, you quickly grabbed lunch and sped off to your designated spot with trays in hand.
it was a secluded place, close to the field but not far from the school. shaded off by tall trees, leaves threatening to fall from the branches and be replaced with pungent flowers. you sat criss cross on a bench, flattening your skirt with the palms of your hands appropriately.
“i’m so hungry i could eat a whole building right now.” you rip off the plastic covering your utensils, crumpling it up and placing it under your tray.
“hey slow down, or else you’ll choke.” he cautions as you dig into your food.
“worried you’ll have to pull a heimlich on me?” you say with your cheeks stuffed.
“well i don’t want to but if i have to.” he furrows his eyebrows, making you giggle. 
“you’re dumb heonie, i won’t die in front of you. i’ll probably look funny and that’s embarrassing.”
“the thing you’re worried about isn’t dying, but looking weird?” he laughs, “you’re really pretty either way, that shouldn’t be much of a concern you know.”
“pretty..?” your breath hitches slightly, the tips of your ears already beginning to burn up. 
“uhm– yeah i think you’re–” he swallows, “really pretty–”
“seungheon!” a voice yells from behind him, appearing to be an eager yungyu with minho attached to him.
“i’m going to go to the bathroom real quick!” you squeak out, excusing yourself hurriedly to the bathroom. he lets out a defeated sigh.
the interrupting boys drew closer to you and seungheon’s spot at the bench, confused why he looked so out of it, and why you were walking away from him in panic. a hand landed on his shoulder reassuringly.
“why the long face, seungheon? are you okay?” minho asks, worry lingering in his tone.
“this is just stupid. i can’t keep pushing this down any deeper.” he frowns, “but why do i keep trying if i can’t reach her?”
“what happened exactly?” minho wonders.
“i– i called her pretty and then she rushed to the bathroom out of no where.” he runs a hand through his hair.
“maybe she just really had to pee?” yungyu tries to comfort, earning a light punch on the arm from minho.
“i don’t even know anymore. i am genuinely desperate to know what it’ll take to finally be with her.” 
“telling her straight up is what will probably work the best right now seungheon..” minho told the distressed boy.
“see, i told you!” yungyu added.
“are you guys.. completely positive that will work. because otherwise this feeling is going to consume me whole waiting for this thing to start.” he pleads with his friends.
“positive.” they both say simultaneously.
“okay, fine. then how do you guys suggest i do it?” seungheon gives in.
“whenever she comes back from the bathroom, just say you have something to tell her and lay it out. no use waiting anymore.” minho proposed a plan simply.
“i’ve seen the way she looks at you seungheon, i promise she’ll like you back.” yungyu pat seungheon on the back.
“alright.” seungheon said hesitantly, “you guys better get out before she gets back, or else she’ll think i’m plotting something.”
“aww that’s my little underclassman.” minho pat his head.
“dude don’t be corny..” yungyu gives him a disgusted look, minho mirroring it almost exactly.
“just go! i think she’s coming back.” seungheon swats them away, visibly paranoid.
they trot away quickly, leaving seungheon alone with his thoughts. everything he’s imagining gets notably louder as he waits for your figure to appear back around the corner, borderline hallucinating any movement. this wasn’t anything he’s ever done before, you were his first crush after all.
and because of that, maybe there was more pressure to see whether you reciprocated his feelings or not. first loves never seemed to go away no matter how hard anyone tried, and he doesn’t want to have to imagine you absent in his life. 
once you finally do come back, his stomach is doing somersaults, and his heart palpitating. theres still a slight blush on your face when you sit down on the creaky bench, soon meeting his eyes once you’re fully settled down.
“hi, i’m sorry if i took awhile!” you brush off, twiddling your thumbs together, “what did minho and yungyu want?”
“oh! it’s not that important but um, i wanted to talk to you about something.” seungheon brings up, hands shaking slightly in his lap.
“of course, whats up?” you respond nervously.
“for the longest time, you’ve been one of the closest friends in my life.” he started, “and the last thing i would want is to ruin anything between us.”
“are you saying you don’t want to be friends anymore..?” you almost choke out.
“what? oh my gosh, y/n, no! well, yes but–” he pauses, reaching over your trays to take hold of your hand, “i like you a lot. and it’s kind of been killing me every time i drop a hint that goes unnoticed.”
your lips part like you’re about to say something, but no words come out. instead tears begin to well up in your eyes and your bottom lip quivers, making it painfully obvious that you’re about to cry. a droplet falls from your eye, immediately making seungheon’s eyes widen in horror.
“y/n! please don’t cry i– i didn’t know you were going to react like this i’m so sorry!” he raised his hands to cup your face, wiping your under eye to rid it from any tears.
“seungheon..” you sob out, leaning into his palm, “i didn’t think you were going to like me back.”
“why wouldn’t i like you– wait what?”
“i thought you were just being nice this whole time, i had no clue how to react and– i wasn’t sure how to make it obvious that i liked you.” you sniffed, “that’s why i got us pencils, they even had little hearts next to the panda..”
“and i thought i wasn’t being obvious.” he smiles at your words.
“heonie!”
“i’m kidding. god we’re so stupid aren’t we.”
“maybe a little bit.. but you’ve had me teetering on the edge all day! first you say you liked taking care of me, then you bought me lunch, then you called me pretty?!” you mentally facepalm.
“at least thank minho and yungyu for knocking some sense into me, i was probably going to walk you home next.” he remembered the rest of his plans he had in stow.
“you can still walk me home today..” you stammer, head still resting in the comfort of his hands.
“i wouldn’t plan on having it any other way.” he sighs with relief, stroking away any remaining tears.
“there is one thing we’re missing though!” you mention suddenly.
“bro was i supposed to get you flowers..?” he gasps, moving his hands away to dig for a makeshift gift in his backpack.
you bring his head back to you, placing a soft peck on his lips. it was something new he’s never exactly felt before, but he wouldn’t have it with anyone other than you.
“now we are official. that’s how couples solidify things, right?”
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DISTANT LANDS AND OTHER ADVENTURES series
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chrisevansjellybeans · 4 years ago
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Happier|Part Three
A/N: Here is part 3!! Sorry it had taken so long, I had gone back and forth on deciding if this would be the last part or not. I decided to make it an even four so there will be a Part Four! Hope you enjoy. It’s another chapter of angst! (What’s new) All mistakes are my own! 
Part One|Part Two
Word Count: 1800
Warnings: swearing, angst 
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You sat awkwardly between Scott and Lisa as they continued to have a conversation that you were trying your hardest to pay attention to but you were having no such luck. Your gaze and your mind kept wandering over to your best friend who was currently standing in the corner talking with a buddy. Chris’s eyes darted towards yours and you immediately diverted your eyes anywhere else. 
You had been doing this for the last two hours. Neither of you is willing to make the first move to go over and talk to each other. It had been three weeks since the incident during the girls night. Chris had texted you about twenty minutes after you left, but you didn’t respond. That became a trend for about two weeks before he just stopped texting you all together. Quite frankly you had forgotten about the bitch incident two days after the fact. But you kept telling yourself that putting space between the two of you was what you needed to get over these feelings that you just couldn’t get rid of. 
Because six months of being in a different country wasn’t space enough. 
And you know what they say: distance makes the heart grow fonder. 
But Carissa had insisted that you come to her little birthday gathering that she was having at the house. So now here you were, being completely miserable in a room full of party goers.
You turned your focus back on the other Evans’ in your life and smiled when Lisa made a joke, but still contributed very little to the conversation. 
“I’m going to go get a refill.” You wiggled your half empty cup for emphasis before excusing yourself. 
You let out a sigh of relief when you noticed the kitchen was fairly empty, only a couple that you didn’t recognize talking in the corner. You grabbed the pitcher of margaritas and filled your glass before taking a huge sip and then filling it again.
“Margaritas that good?” You spun around at the unfamiliar voice. Your face grew hot as you came face to chest with a very tall, very handsome man. His dark eyes were raised in question but his lips were settled in a knowing smirk. “Or are they just bad enough to make you forget something you don’t want to remember?” 
“A little bit of both.” You replied, taking another sip. Mystery man laughed and you smiled. He reached past you to grab his own cup to fill up. 
“I’m Marcus.” He said simply, his eyes raking up and down your body. You internally rolled your eyes but decided to play along. He was hot and you were lonely. 
“Y/N.” You held your hand out to his. “Nice to meet you.” 
“Likewise.” He smirked. 
“So how do you know Carissa?” 
“I don’t, funny enough.” He explained. “I’m here with a friend.” 
“Ahh.” You raised your eyebrow asking the silent question. 
“His name is Brady.” Marcus laughed. 
“I see.” You took another sip of your margarita, a smile hiding behind the cup. 
- - - - - - - - - - - -
You were shocked at how much fun you were having talking to Marcus. He was funny and charming and knew all the things to say to make you blush and yet you couldn’t help that your eyes would wander over to where Chris was sitting, Carissa perched on his lap. 
Your attention was snapped back to Marcus when you felt his hand rest on your cheek, his thumb brushing against your lips. 
“Sorry, you have a little…” He trailed off as he wiped his thumb across your parted lips. 
You were sure he was going to kiss you.
And you were sure that you might just kiss him back. 
Marcus leaned forward and you felt your eyes flutter close, anticipating the kiss. But it never came. 
“Hey.” You and Marcus both turned to see Chris stalking towards you, his eyes narrowed. 
“Hey man,” Marcus moved away and reached out his hand but Chris didn’t slow down. You watched in horror as Chris walked right up to the two of you and threw a punch hitting Marcus square in the face.
“Are you fucking crazy?” You cried out as Marcus fell to the ground clutching his nose. Chris stood over him, his shoulders rising with anger and his fists still clenched. “Chris!” His eyes snapped to yours and they softened slightly. 
“What the hell dude?” Marcus groaned from the floor. 
“I think it’s time for you to go.” Chris growled. 
Marcus stood up with the help of some other people before being escorted out of the kitchen, leaving just you and Chris and the small pool of blood on the floor. 
You looked down at Chris’s hand which was covered in blood. At first you thought it was just Marcus’s but then you realized that there was a large cut running across his knuckles. Sighing you pushed him out of the kitchen towards his bedroom and to his ensuite. 
“Sit down.” You pushed him onto the toilet before going to the cabinet where you knew the first aid kit was. “I can’t believe you.” 
“You can’t believe me?” Chris snapped. “What the hell were you doing with that guy? In my goddamn kitchen no less.” 
“We were having a conversation, you Neanderthal.” You answered, as you rinsed off his cut. Chris hissed in pain as you ran an alcohol wipe over his knuckle. 
“Looked like more than that.” 
“So what if it was, Chris. And if I remember correctly, it was only a couple weeks ago that you and Carissa were telling me to get out there and meet someone.” You raised your eyebrow slightly. 
“She said that, not me.” Chris looked away from you. 
“So what? I’m just supposed to stay single? Is that it? I’m not good enough for your friends? Or do you really think that there’s no one out there that can be with me?” 
Chris’s eyes snapped to yours, the blue darkening. “First of all that jackass is not my friend. And second of all, I didn’t say that. If anything you are too good for the losers out there. You’re too good for anybody.” 
“Well then who?  Who gets the Chris Evans stamp of approval? Please tell me, so I can go and find him.”
“I don’t know! Just not that guy.” Chris stood up towering over you. 
“God, you know you are so fucking annoying.” You pushed against his chest as you turned to walk away from him.  “I’m just trying to be happy. Why can’t you just let me be happy?” 
“You’re going to be happy with that jerkoff?” Chris stepped closer to you. He pulled you back towards him, spinning you around so that you were looking at him. He lifted your chin so you were eye to eye. “You think that guy is the one that’s going to give you everything that you need? That you deserve?” 
“Well the guy that I want I can’t have, so I guess he’ll have to do.” Your heart fluttered as you realized just how close you and Chris had gotten. Your noses were touching and your lips just a breath away from each other. Chris leaned forward slightly, his mouth open but no words coming out. 
“I’m sorry.” Chris sighed, his head dropping. 
“For what? Punching out the first guy to take interest in me or calling me a bitch?” 
Chris winced, his eyes full of regret. He looked like he was about to respond when a voice interrupted the both of you. 
“Chris? Y/N?” You and Chris immediately separated at the sound of Scott’s voice echoing through the bedroom and into the bathroom. 
“In here.” Chris cleared his throat as he called out to his brother. 
“Jesus Christ, Chris. What was that?” Scott threw his hands up. “Carissa is pissed.” 
“I know. I just…” Chris trailed off as he cast a sideways glance in your direction. You refused to look at him, only focusing on the pattern of the floor tile. Chris let out a sigh as he rubbed his face with his good hand. “I’ll go talk to her. Where is she?” 
“Last I saw she stepped outside to check on the guy you fucking decked.” 
Chris just nodded, looking at you once more before brushing past Scott and out the door. 
You and Scott stood there in silence. 
“So how long?” He asked, finally breaking the void.
You looked up at the younger Evans brother, whose hands were now on his hips. 
“What?” 
“How long are you and my idiot older brother going to pretend that you aren’t madly in love with each other.” 
Your heart dropped to your stomach at Scott’s words. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You stated incredulously. 
“I’m talking about the fact that my brother basically broke some poor guy’s nose for even looking in your direction. Or how you guys have been looking at each other like forlorn lovers this entire night.” 
You turned your head away. 
“It’s not like that, Scott.” You whispered. “He’s my-he doesn’t look at me like that.” 
“Sweetheart, are you dumb or are you stupid.” Scott’s words held a joking air to them. He stepped closer to you and took your hands in his. “You should tell him how you feel.” 
“Scott, stop.” Your eyes blurred with tears. “I love him, he’s my best friend and I’m not willing to lose his friendship over a stupid crush that will eventually go away.” 
“Honey, if it hasn’t gone away in the last five years it’s not going away anytime soon.” 
You stared at him with wide eyes as you processed what he said. 
“You think I didn’t know this whole time? Hell, I think the only person who didn’t know was Chris.” 
“Oh god.” You groaned, dropping your head. You were officially embarrassed. Had it really been that obvious for so long? 
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, honey.” Scott soothed as he  grabbed your hands. 
“I need to go. I shouldn’t have come anyway.” You mumbled as you pulled away from Scott. 
“Y/N...you don’t have to leave.” 
“Yes I do.” You shook your head, refusing to look at him. You booked it out of the room and down the hallway, making every effort to avoid anyone and everyone. You walked out to your car and paused as you noticed Chris and Carissa standing by the side of the house. You tried to walk by without them noticing you but as you heard Carissa’s voice call out to you. You had a choice: stop and talk to her or walk the five steps to your car and leave the night behind you. 
Before you could truly over think you rushed to your car, got in and drove off. 
Tags:
@username23345 @thesecretlifeofdaydreams @stopbeingcurious​ @lharrietg​ @officalmarvelwhore @memoriesat30​ @mydarlingharry​ @kelbabyblue​ @evansphnx12​ @thegreentwin @denisemarieangelina​ @joannie95​ @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjeans​ @jennamarieee623​ @undecidedsworld​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @lovelyladymayyy​ @mindfreakswaggy​ @before-we-get-started​ @patzammit​ 
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graykageyama · 4 years ago
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do you get déjà vu, when I’m with you?
SYNOPSIS: you’re the new girl in his life, but he treats you the way he treated his ex. does he remember his ex when he’s with you?
PAIRING: Kuroo x Reader
GENRE(S): angst to fluff
WORD COUNT: 2.9K
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Waiting outside the building, you decided to check the notifications from the recent post you had posted: pictures from your anniversary date with Kuroo. But when you opened the application, your eyes focus on a shared post from your boyfriend’s ex. It is a memory from 2 years ago where your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend had reshared into the feed. Your finger hovers over the screen as you contemplated checking out the comments of the previous post, but curiosity got the better of you.
“Really thought you guys were a match made in heaven.”
“Look how happy he is around you! Ughhh he was such a lucky dude!”
“Omg!! He can’t keep his eyes off you”
“Girl you better keep him wrapped on your finger, çause he’s a keeper!”
“I hope my future boyfriend would stare at me the way he does to you”
The first photo looks basic enough, a typical couple’s photo in a photo booth with your boyfriend’s arm wrapped around hers as she gave her brightest smile while holding a peace sign. But your tedious eyes scanned through the second photo as you took in how your boyfriend lovingly stared at his ex’s side profile, possibly thinking how lucky he is to have such a gorgeous girl standing right beside him. His ex standing underneath his secured hold over her shoulders as she closed her eyes, and poked her tongue out in a childish manner. The third photo once again showed her boyfriend staring at his ex, but with closer distance than it did. His half-lidded eyes matched his soft smile as he leaned closer to his ex’s cheek. The girl, oblivious to her then-boyfriend’s antics, made another childish expression of rolling her eyes while pouting her lips to a duck face expression. But the fourth photo caps off how sweet and romantic this couple could be. With your boyfriend pressing his lips to his ex’s cheeks, nothing could compare to how adorable it looked as it matched his ex’s surprised expression.
The original caption, as corny it may be, brings a slight tinge in your heart.
“I’m yours always, my downtown man. My rooster face.”
Your breath hitches as you notice how familiar the photo’s background and layout are. It did not help when the new caption of the shared post stated, “Brought an ex here at Tempo, and he loved it. 10/10 would still recommend!”   You suddenly remember your first-anniversary date with him.
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“Come on, kitten. We’re gonna be late for our reservation.” Your boyfriend called out to you from the living room. “It’s already a quarter to 7 o’clock.”
“Alright, I’m coming!” You shut the bedroom door as you walked down the hallway. “Oh, wait I forgot my purse. One second!” You rushed to the table to grab your things, while failing to notice the loving stare from your boyfriend. As you approached him, you saw the corners of his lips quirk up and his eyes shifting to a teasing look. “So that’s why it took you ages to dress up. You look stunning, kitten.” Kuroo reached out to put his arm over your shoulder as he placed a chaste kiss on your temple. 
“Oh, shut up. And you say that you already fixed your hair.” You giggled as you both stepped out of your apartment. You shivered when the cold wind hit your exposed skin. Kuroo notices this as he takes off his coat, and puts it over your shoulders. He’s such a gentleman, I’m so lucky to have him, you thought. His coat hugs your frame as it reaches your knees. 
 He opened your car door and motioned you to get in. “But you look amazing too, love. Any chicken would fall in love with you too,” you chuckled, proud of your little teases. His eyes furrowed as he closes the door, but smiles as he walks over to his side. 
“HAAA, you say that but we all know you love this rooster face.” He replied in a childish tone, as he pouted. 
You looked over to him, and smiled. “Yeah, unfortunately, I do. A rooster face stole my heart.” 
“By the way, you look so cute wearing my clothes, kitten,” he chuckled. He started the engine and drove to the restaurant. 
You both arrived in a vintage-themed restaurant named Tempo. It was beautiful. It felt like you really were thrown back to the 1900s. It was an Italian restaurant, and you knew that they served the amazing pasta here. You both enjoyed your time together during dinner as Kuroo’s eyes briefly looked over to where a vintage-style photo booth was located. He looked at you with a smile, “You wanna give it a try?” You nodded as he led you to the booth. 
He chose to have 2 sets of photos, one for each other to keep. With both of your fun and teasing personalities, it was honestly chaotic. 
You tackled him with your arm over his shoulders as you both gave your widest smiles. 
Another photo as he pinched your face to a duck face as you placed a peace sign over his head. 
One where you both jokingly glared at each other. 
And ending the first round with both of your side profiles pressed against the side of the other, faces squished together.
You glanced at him briefly before the second round of photos began, and you noticed Kuroo’s playful and evil glance. The countdown began… 3...2...1… when you suddenly felt fingers at your side, tickling you mercilessly which sent you to fit of laughter. *click* You turned to grip the cheeks of your boyfriend as you forced him to stare at your “I’m not pleased at you” look. *click* But your boyfriend was not afraid to the slightest, rather he placed his hand to your chin and stared lovingly to your eyes. *click* You felt him leaned closer and pulled your face towards him as he placed a soft kiss against your lips. *click* You heard the photo booth processing both photos as you playfully slapped his arm, “you’re so mean, I must have looked awful.” He grabbed the photo strips, and immediately handed you one. “Here’s yours, let me keep this one please?” He gave you the first photostrip. 
“Hmph fineee, but may I please see the other one? I probably look like a fool.” You sighed as you rubbed your temples. 
“Nahhh. You might get mad and tear it up, kitten. Won’t risk it.” He teased and winked at you as he placed the photostrip iside his wallet. You pouted as he pinched your cheek. “Let’s go home, yeah?” You nodded as you both approached his car. 
The drive home was silent, but was interrupted when Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” played. Your eyes staring at the passing buildings as you belted out the verse. Before singing out the chorus,  Kuroo called your attention, “hey kitten.”. You looked over to him and raised your brow. With his left hand on the wheel, he grabbed your hands with the other and rubbed your knuckles. He looked over at you through the corners of his eyes and said, “ask me what I not trade for anything, like anything in this world.” 
You looked at him with questioning eyes, “umm, okay. What would you never want to trade for anything in this world, like even for 100 million bucks?” 
He smiled, “it would be the ability to make you smile. There is nothing more priceless than your smile and laughter, kitten.” Kuroo glanced at you for a moment as he continued to rub your knuckles. “ I will always choose you, now and every day of our future. Happy anniversary, kitten. I love you.” 
Your heart pounded as you squeezed his hands. “Happy anniversary, Rooster Face. I love you too.” 
Photo strips. Uptown Girl. Billy Joel. Romantic vintage restaurant. True gentleman. 
Today was amazing, Tetsu. Thank you for making me feel so special. 
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It isn’t the first time his ex did that though. She loves to reshare memories of them whenever you post a sweet moment of you together. 
When Kuroo gave you your favorite flowers, hand-picked tulips, his ex would post the 2 dozen bouquet of roses Kuroo had given her.
When Kuroo brought you out to stargaze with him at the park, his ex posted a photo of them having a picnic together at the park. 
When you and Kuroo posted a funny selfie, fries sticking out your upper lip which made you both look like elephants, his ex posted a status update, “Looks like my joke made you laugh, too.” 
You continue to think over the times she did it. Were you really just Kuroo’s rebound? Was he doing these things because it reminded him of her? Was he really reusing his old moves on her to me?
“Y/N?”
Your thoughts are cut off as you glanced over to who called you. “Hey, kitten. I’m sorry for making you wait. Let’s go home?” You reply with a nod as Kuroo hugs and leads you to his car. The drive home is quiet, but it is not the usual comfortable silence you both shared. You feel uneasy, and Kuroo could feel it - taking a mental note to ask you later about it. 
Both of you arrived home, with you still ignoring him. It’s not like you choose to ignore him, you are just really not in the best mood to face him. You changed into your loungewear, then went to the kitchen to prepare some dinner for the both of you. Kuroo took a shower, and then you both had dinner together after. She’s really lost in her thoughts. Kuroo thought. After washing up the dishes, Kuroo grabbed your hand. 
“Hey, kitten. You seem off today. What happened?” You looked away as you replied, “I’m fine, Tetsu.” 
“You really think I’d believe you? Come on, kitten. I promised you I’d make you smile everyday for me.” He gives you a nudge, but gets no response. “You know you can also tease me, kitten. If it makes you feel better, go call me your rooster face.”
With a sharp intake of breath, you said. “Do you get déjà vu, when I’m with you?”
Kuroo, shocked by your words, replies, “wait, what? What do you mean, kitten? Deja vu from what?” 
“When you took me to the restaurant on our first-anniversary date, who introduced that to you? Why do you like photo booths so much?” Your eyes pierces Kuroo’s as you question him. “ Why do you take me out to the places you’ve been with her? Why do you keep on blasting Uptown Girl when we’re together?  Why did you bring me to the park when you went there already with her? Why did you bring me to a place she introduced you to on our anniversary date? Why do you treat me so much like the way you treated her?” You rocked yourself from side to side as you hugged your frame. “I thought it was special you know? I thought I was special, and that only we had those moments. I thought it was our thing.” You grip your shirt as you look down on your knees. “I feel so reused. When we do those things, does it remind you of her? Is that why you’re treating me that way too?”
“No, what? Why are you suddenly comparing yourself to E/N? What’s wrong? She’s an ex Y/N, there’s nothing to compare between you and --” 
“I’m jealous, okay? I’m so scared that you only dated me since we’re both so similar. Rhyming names, we almost look alike to be honest, but she’s prettier than me! I saw how she keeps on trying to reach out to you..” 
“There’s nothing to be jealous of, Y/N. I’m even igno---”
“Do you miss her?” 
Kuroo shakes his head as he tries to reach for you. You eventually gave in to the comfort of his chest as he hugs you tightly, rubbing the back of your head as he spoke. “Yes it’s true. I did take you to the same place where E/N had introduced me to. Yes, it’s also true that we loved listening to Billy Joel. Yes, it’s also true that I treat you the way I have treated her before. But no, it is not because I miss her. I don’t love her anymore, I don’t even see her as a friend nor do I care about her anymore. I broke up with her because I don’t see her as someone I would still want to be with in the future. I knew to myself that I will not be choosing her everyday for the rest of my life. ” He paused as he took a deep breath. You felt him hug you tighter.
“I think E/N made me a better man for you. Based  on my experience, I continue to do these small antics for you because I know it’s what you deserve. If I did not have E/N as my girlfriend before, I don’t think I would be treating you the way you deserved to be treated. Heck, I had no idea how to be a proper boyfriend for you. ” Kuroo broke the hug as he cupped your face in his hands. He wiped away your tears as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “And no, I do not see her when I look at you. I see someone so much more who deserves more than what I can offer, but I won’t be the guy who gives up on his girl just because he knows his girl deserves better. I want to become the better guy for you.” 
One hand gripped your waist as the other cups your face, forcing you to look at him. “About my decisions on taking you to these places, let me explain myself. I knew you loved to watch the stars in the mountains, and name out the constellations - even though I probably did not understand half of what you were saying.” Both of you giggled. “I chose to bring you to the park since I know it was the best place to stargaze and honestly it was the only spot in the city which can pass as a hill to be honest. City have no damn tress around, you know?” You laughed at his attempt to make you smile. “It’s true that I gave E/N 2 dozens of roses but I chose to give you your favorite flowers, tulips. But I haven’t told you how I got them for you. Ever since the day you told me it was your favorite, I planted some and took care of it as it grew. And to add to that, my dear kitten, I’m growing another batch soon so that I can see your beautiful smile once again when you receive them.” He smiles as he pinches your nose. “And for the anniversary dinner, I know you loved Italian, kitten. Your eyes literally sparkled when the food came. I also knew that you were a sucker for old-style photography, which is why I thought you would love to keep a photostrip for ourselves too” 
“You looked like you were head over heels for her in your photo though.” You pouted as you showed him the post. Kuroo’s eyes furrowed, but he took out his wallet and showed you the photostrip he had kept. “Tell me, kitten, which photo do I look the happiest in?” Staring at the set of photos, you blush at the photo of you being kissed by your boyfriend, and you can’t help but admire how candid it all looked. 
“What about the elephant joke? The one with the fries? She said she was the one who came up with it.” 
“HAAAAA? How dare she take credit from my joke? I was the one who made it! I used the trick to also serve as my vampire fangs when I was young. I can’t believe she would take credit for it.” He grumbled. 
You let out small sobs as you felt him hug you again and rested his head against your shoulder. “ I’m sorry I questioned your intentions Tetsu. I just got so fed up with her blowing up my feed with both of your memories every time I post a new one of ours.”
Kuroo looks at you, deadpanned. “You know, kitten, there is a thing called blocking someone right? You’re just too nice, and it won’t benefit you at all if you keep on seeing her posts if it bothers you. And it’s not good for us to be concerned about our past relationships.” He grabs your hands and places it on his lips as he gives it a sweet kiss. “But even though you should not be jealous of her, and you have nothing to be jealous about, I will not get tired reassuring you that you are the only one for me. Although it may look like I'm bringing you to places where we had been to, trust me, that I was thinking about you all the time. I always considered what you would love best, kitten. As promised, I will always choose to make you smile everyday.”  He places another tender kiss on your lips. He asks as he shifts your hair away from your face, “Why don’t I make it up to you? Do you want to go on a  date with me to the zoo next weekend?” Teasing, he adds,” I promise that I didn’t bring E/N there. ”
You laugh as you give an excited nod. Diving into his chest to give him a bear-crushing hug, you said. “Thank you Tetsu, for making me feel so special.”
“You deserve it kitten ‘cause you are my special girl. And the only one I would want to make memories with. I’ll always choose you.” 
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A/N: I got really inspired with Olivia’s new song, but I really wanted to know how the new girl would feel. It sucks to be replaced but I also think it would suck to know you’re just the rebound or your partner only loves you because you remind them so much of their ex. 
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hangovercurse · 4 years ago
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Studio Nights
You and Kells spend time in the studio together.
Part ii of Losing a Friend
Colson x Reader
Warnings: cursing
A/N: the first few parts are a lot of fluff, building relationships and such but soon we’ll get into the real angst 😊 
Word Count: 1501
i < ii < iii
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September 2016
You had hoped that after 3 months of hanging around the guys, you would have gotten used to their constant energy. But sitting in the studio, you realized you might never get used to it.
Lazily you spun yourself around in the rolling chair at the monitor, Kells sitting next to you with his back to the desk. “Dawg, I’m telling you, you were wasted as fuck,” his loud voice rang through your ears, making the headache you were nurturing even worse.
The boys were having a conversation about something that had gone on in the club the other night with Rook, who was arguing that it wasn’t as big of a deal as Kells was making it out to be. To be fair, Rook was that drunk, but it really wasn’t all that funny.
You tuned them out as best as possible, turning back to the computer and looking at the track again, sighing at the thought of hearing it blare through the headphones. As Slim, Baze, and Rook continued arguing, Kells turned to you.
He seemed to look right through you, taking in the bags under your eyes and the slight frown on your face. “Hey,” he spoke quietly, “you okay?”
You gave him a small nod, placing the headphones over your ears with a fake smile. His hand reached out and tugged them gently off your head. “Seriously, you look like shit.”
Rolling your eyes, you gave a monotone answer, “thanks, Kells. You sure know how to treat a lady.” You let out a dry chuckle as he continued to stare at you, a teasing pout on his face, “I’m fine, I just have a headache, it’s nothing.”
He swiveled his chair so that his front was facing your side, reaching out and turning your chair so you could be face to face. His knees bumped up against your own lightly, “we can take a break if you want, pick back up tomorrow.”
You shook your head, “I’m fine, there’s just a lot of noise right now, but it’s nothing. I just want to finish this song; we’ve been working on it for way too long now.” You tried to play off the throbbing in your brain as Slim and Baze laughed obnoxiously a few feet away from you.
He rolled his eyes, “You are the one that keeps editing it.” His tone was teasing, but you couldn’t help but agree. There was something about the track that just wasn’t right yet. “But it can wait another day, go home. Or I’ll send these fuckers home.”
You chuckled, “aren’t you guys technically at home?” He sent you an unamused look, making you pout, “look, I can’t figure out what it is, but something needs to be fixed.”
He let out a breath through his nose, imitating laughter, “I know, you keep saying that. And I trust you, but you’re not going to figure it out if you’re in a mood.”
A glare came over your features, directed at him, “I am not in a mood.” You shoved him playfully, his chair spinning slightly, “I’m just in pain. My head feels like it’s eating itself.”
“That’d make a good lyric,” he commented with a smirk, shoving you back. “Go home.”
You smacked his hand away lightly, “don’t tell me what to do. Now let me work.” You tried to turn back to the computer while placing the headphones back over your ears, but Kells just spun you back towards him.
“How about you let me listen to it for once,” his tone was playful, but you couldn’t help but gape at the audacity.
You handed him the headphones, “I have been trying to get you to do that for the past 3 hours!” He chuckled, placing the speakers over his ears, and pressing play. “Is this what it takes to get you to work? My pain?” you teased halfheartedly.
Truthfully, Kells had a way of distracting you from whatever happened to be bothering you, including your headache. It was one of the many reasons you liked being around him so much.
He nodded his head to what you assumed was the beat, making you giggle lightly. He paused the song midway, taking off the headphones and frowning. “What if we tried carrying the initial guitar riff through at that little middle part.”
You raised an eyebrow, turning to the computer and fidgeting with the track to add the raw guitar into the space. You didn’t notice, but you and Kells were very closely huddled around the computer.
The other guys in the room, however, did take notice. Slim elbowed Rook, pointing over in your direction as you and Kells cracked lighthearted jokes and worked on the song together.
Rook let out a chuckle that was lost on your ears as Baze quietly teased, “I give it two months, max.”
The younger boy shook his head, “hell naw, you think Kells is gonna wait that long?”
Baze flicked Rook in the head, “that’s why I said max, dumbass.”
Rook shoved the older one, starting a small war between the two of them. Slim rolled his eyes, speaking over the two’s fighting, “she’s way too smart for that, it’ll take way longer for her to come around to that.”
After another 15 minutes of you and Kells working intensely on fixing the music and the guys teasing you about how cute you were behind your backs, you could listen to a rough sample of your new and improved track.
“This is fucking fire, dude,” Kells said loudly as he listened with the headphones. You laughed at the volume, feeling better than before and giddy at the thought of having fixed the track.
Once he had finished, he placed the headphones over your ears and played the song in its entirety, your voices flowing together naturally over the music. When the revised part came, you were shocked at how much better it sounded, even if it was still just a rough edit.
You took the headphones off, beaming at him, “you are a genius.”
He teased, “so I’ve been told.” You rolled your eyes, knocking his knee with yours playfully. He shoved your shoulder softly, voice lowering, “you should go home. We can polish this part tomorrow and get it ready for a release.”
You shook your head, volume matching his “I’m fine, Kells. It’s just a headache and we’re almost finished, I can manage.”
“I’m not touching another button today and you are going home, end of story.” You whined but gave no real protest, reaching for your purse and keys. He patted you on the head mockingly, “good girl.”
You glared up at him, “call me that again, and I will hurt you.” He chuckled, standing up with you, and walking you to the door.
He called to the guys, “thanks for all the work today guys, really helpful.” His words dripped with sarcasm, making you giggle.
Slim shrugged, “looked like you two had it handled, we weren’t gonna interrupt.” Rook and Baze snickered, making you roll your eyes.
“Well, I’m out. See you guys tomorrow.” You threw up a peace sign to the men.
Baze checked his phone, “are you sure you want to drive this late? It’s almost 3 am.”
You sighed, realizing he was right. A pout fell on your face as you muttered, “it’s fine, I’ll be okay.” You turned to head out the door, throwing a smile at the boys. Kells followed you out to the main area of the house, grabbing your wrist gently in the living room to stop you from leaving.
“You can stay here tonight if you want. It’d probably be better anyways if you still feel bad.”
His gentle touch on your arm seemed to send a soft feeling throughout your body, something unfamiliar to you. You shook it off, giving him a small smile. As much as you knew you probably should stay, you needed to get out of this house before any other unexplained feelings arose. “Thanks, Kells, but I’ll be fine. I live all of 10 minutes away.”
He shrugged, acting nonchalant, “fine, just text us when you get home.”
You rolled your eyes, walking to the front door, “okay, Dad.”
He chuckled, “shut up, loser.” You flicked him off playfully as you left, the door closing behind you.
Mere moments after you left he heard three laughs from behind him, “oh Y/N! Please stay the night with us.” Rook mocked an overly dramatic Kells impression.
Baze continued with a “I’ll do anything for you Y/N, I’m just so in love with you!”
Slim shook his head, walking over and clapping his best friend on the back, “ignore them.” He said, “we all know you’ll confess to her in your own time.”
Kells scoffed, an eyebrow raised, “I am not in love with Y/N. She’s just a friend. A better one than you three.”
The boys laughed and rolled their eyes, “okay,” Rook said, unconvinced.
tag list: 
@bakerkells​ @elviablo​​ @iambashfulperson​ @sunflowerbebe107​ @crystalbaby12​ @stormrider505​ @ticketstomydaydreams​ @mvrylee​ @daddyavesxx​​ @pettyvxbes​ @prettydreamboy​
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jean-kayak · 4 years ago
Text
Too Many Feelings
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Summary: You becoming pretty friendly with Iwaizumi makes Matsukawa come to a stark realization
Pairing: Matsukawa Issei x black!fem!reader
Warnings: mattsun fighting his feelings, oikawa makes an appearance, little bit of violence, angst, mentions of reader being drugged (it’s very brief but if this triggers you, pls read at your own risk), some fluff thrown in there, smut (18+!!), unprotected sex, fingering (f.receiving), nipple play, daddy kink, dirty talk
Word Count: 4499
A/N: LMFAO this is part 3 of Highlight Of The Summer, and I did not know that it was going to do so well, but I really like this story, and I’m a whore for mattsun so I wanted to write it again
PART ONE//PART TWO
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You seriously didn't think that Hiro was actually going to kick you out. But here you are, moving in Mattsun. You really didn't have that much stuff considering that you only packed clothes for the summer, so it wasn't that bad, but it was still a pain in the ass to haul it all over to Issei's place.
You thought it would be kind of weird at first, but the awkwardness was soon left behind, and you realized that living together really wasn't any different than when he would visit Hiro's place. The sex was still amazing, and then you both were waking up next to each other in the morning.
For you, the only true difference was that you got to watch Hiro and Issei play video games from Issei's perspective. Whenever they played and when you were still staying with your cousin, you didn't really pay it any mind, tuning out the groans of frustration that would come from him.
Now, Issei always had you in his lap, but your attention to whatever game he was playing didn't change, opting to tune in every now and then, but your attention was mostly on your phone, aimlessly scrolling through to keep yourself entertained.
You know Mattsun's either not playing anymore or Makki went to go do something because you feel his hands on your body. For Issei, nothing was different for him either, and he frowns when you laugh at your phone.
"What's so funny?" he asks, an amused smile on his face.
You glance at him before showing him what he finds out is a video. "Iwaizumi sent this to me."
Oh. Yeah. That's what was different.
He nods his head as he watches the video, putting on a fake laugh as you go back to your phone, and you chuckle again as he watches your fingers move across the screen.
"You and Iwaizumi are pretty friendly, yeah?" he asks, and you raise your eyebrows as you turn your head towards him before you shrug.
"I guess." He can't decide if that answer is good enough.
"Have you guys slept together since then?" He hates how that question has been burning in his mind, but he can't help but feel relief that he's finally asked you.
This time you keep your attention on him longer than a couple of seconds. "Without you?" you ask, and he hesitantly nods, and he hides his sigh of happiness when he sees you shake your head. "No," you respond easily. "Why? Has he asked?" you tease, and Issei just shrugs.
"No, I just wanted to know." Luckily, before you can say anything else about it, Makki's back, and Mattsun turns his attention back to the computer screen in front of him.
The truth is, Iwaizumi has actually asked if you guys could do it again, specifically with you. And he always finds a way to change the subject, finding some bullshit excuse like he'll ask you later or something. He almost didn't give Iwaizumi your number.
But he went and fucked up. He caught feelings, and now he doesn't know if it's one-sided or reciprocated. He could ask, but you haven't really hinted at anything, and he doesn't want to ask just to get rejected.
He mostly blames it on the fact that he's living with you now. It's only been about three weeks give or take, and that's all it took for his heart to change his feelings about you. And also the fact that you're basically in every room that he's in.
But then he realized that he was the one somehow coaxing you into whatever room he was going into, and it makes him want to facepalm every time he comes to this realization.
And then what happens if you don't feel the same way? Where are you going to go? Back with Hanamaki? But what happens then?
There's too many questions that Matsukawa doesn't have the answers to, so he just pushes them to the back of his head and hopes he can tune them out.
"Hey, we have a friend coming back home. If you wanna come with us, you can," Mattsun offers, and he doesn't have to catch himself to know that he's making an excuse to be in the same room as you.
"No! She is not coming!"
You and Issei laugh softly, your cousin's protest heard even by you through Mattsun's headset. "Okay, so that means I'm coming."
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"Wow, professional volleyball in Argentina? I'm impressed," you muse, making Makki roll his eyes.
"He's taken, y/n, so you can't sleep with him," he says quickly, and you give him an unimpressed look.
"Fuck off, Hiro," you say, raising your voice just a little bit so that he can hear the venom in your words over the music.
You were sitting in a booth in the corner of some high-end club that you didn't even catch the name of and Mattsun's sitting on your left with Oikawa and Hiro across from you.
The conversation between the four of you flows pretty easily, the talking interrupted when Iwaizumi's coming back with a tray of shots. "And who's paying for all of this?" Makki asks, taking a glass off the tray as Iwaizumi sits next to you.
"Oikawa obviously." You chuckle against the rim of your glass as you see Oikawa's mouth drop open, an indignant squawk being heard over the music.
Mattsun's chuckle falls flat when he sees Iwaizumi turn your attention towards him, and Issei finds himself subtly rolling his eyes when Iwaizumi has you wrap your arm around his before you both take the shot. Both of your faces scrunch up before you laugh, and then he's asking you if you want to dance.
He scoffs to himself as he downs his shot as he watches the both of you slide out of the booth, and Mattsun can't help but watch the both of you walk to an open section in the swarm of bodies on the dance floor.
He finds himself clenching his jaw as Iwaizumi jokingly dips you, Mattsun feeling like he can hear your laugh from where he's sitting. Iwaizumi spins you around before bringing your back flush against his chest by your waist, jealously raging a huge fire in Issei's chest as he grabs another shot.
He thinks about how he wants to snatch Iwaizmui's hands off your body and replace them with his own, and he downs the shot, slamming it on the table as he looks away. "Are we feeling something tonight, Mattsun?" Oikawa teases.
"Go suck a dick," Issei sneers, probably a little bit more aggressively said than it should be, but he can't help it right now.
"You gotta crush on my cousin, dude?" Makki asks, but he doesn't seem to be totally upset by it, not that Mattsun really cares about that, and he doesn't really know how to answer. He just focuses his attention on the table, playing with his fingers before changing the subject.
He's not even paying attention to the conversation, he asked how Oikawa's been doing, but the only thing he can focus on is why he didn't ask you to dance or something, and he's also focusing on not looking back at the dance floor.
He checks his phone, noticing that it's been roughly thirty minutes since the both of you left, and he'll just look to make sure you're still there. And he turns his head, seeing that the spot you both were in is empty.
He finds himself frowning slightly. Shouldn't you have come back by now? There's no way you would dance for more than an hour. But then he wonders if you're with Iwaizumi. Wondering if Iwaizumi's kissing down your neck against one of the bathroom stalls, and he feels his fist clench on the table before he's getting up quickly.
"Bathroom," he barely says when Makki asks him where he's going, and he's keeping his eyes out for mostly you, and he practically slumps in relief when he doesn't find you in either bathroom, but then he's worrying again. Where could you be?
He's pushing through the crowd, looking everywhere to see if he can catch even a glimpse of you, but he can't even find Iwaizumi. Before he's even thinking about it, he's rushing out the door, his head turning in every direction as he looks for you.
He's in a near panic now, and he jumps violently when he feels a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong with you, man?"
"I can't find her," he practically yells, and he's back to searching for you as Makki's face drops.
"What do you mean you can't find her?"
"She's fucking gone, Makki! She's not in the fucking club anymore!" He's starting to become hysteric, and Iwaizumi is nowhere to be seen.
Matsukawa doesn't know what to think. There's too much to think about and not enough time to think. "Okay, okay, relax. Just relax. She couldn't have gone far. Where's Iwaizumi?"
"I don't fucking know!" Along with panic, Mattsun feels anger running through his veins. If you really went home with Iwaizumi...
"No, let me go."
Mattsun barely hears it, but he knows it's your voice, and he's rushing towards it, running across the street, and his eyes fall on you when he looks down the sidewalk. He almost grabs his chest in relief, but then he's frowning again when he sees someone trying to pull you away.
"Let me go!" you yell, and Mattsun's feet are moving before he can even think, and the first thing he does is grab you, yanking you out of the guy's grip, and his eyes widen when you practically fall into him.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" he yells, and the guy seems to freeze as Makki runs up beside him.
"Is she okay?" Makki asks at the same time the guy speaks up.
"Minding my fucking business," he spits, reaching for you again, and this time it's Makki who grabs you, pulling you away from him, and his eyes widen like Mattsun's when he feels you drop against him.
"What the fuck were you doing?!" he asks him again, and when the guy tries to make a move towards Mattsun, he's quick to shove him back.
"Mattsun, wait!" Makki tries when Issei gets him on the ground, but he can't let you go. All of your weight is on him, and he looks down at you, and he knows instantly that you're more than drunk.
Hiro hears something crunch, and he can barely pull Mattsun off the guy, using one arm to hold you up while he uses the other to try and pry his friend off the guy. "Issei, dude, stop! He's not worth it. y/n is who you were looking for," he tries again, and he's grateful when Mattsun slows down his punching before he gets up.
He gives the guy one last look before turning to you, cupping your face in his hands. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asks, his breathing rapid.
Your blinking is slow, but you manage to open your eyes, the deep frown on your face barely leaving. "Issei?"
The look of concern on his face gets worse when he hears your word slur even though you only said one, he can still hear it. "Baby, where's Iwaizumi?" he asks you softly, and it takes you a moment for you to answer.
"Iw-Iwaizumi?" you correct yourself when he thinks your words are about to come together again and he nods, but all you manage is a shrug.
"Look, man, we need to get her home, okay? I'll find him," Makki says, and Mattsun nods as they both start to walk back towards the club, and that's when he sees Iwaizumi when they cross the street.
Iwaizumi's jogging towards them when he sees them. "Oh, thank God she's okay--"
He's cut off when Issei grabs his shirt, shoving him against the wall. "What the fuck did you do to her?!"
"Matsukawa, relax, I--"
"What did you put in her drink?! Why did you let her out of your sight?!" He's surprised he hasn't knocked him out right here.
"Issei, relax!" Hanamaki yells, Iwaizumi's hands up next to his head.
"Dude, I didn't do anything. I swear. She told me that she was going to get more drinks, and when she didn't come back, I went back to the table. Oikawa told me that the both of you had left, and he hadn't seen her."
Mattsun's hands are shaking with anger, but he doesn't hear any lies in Iwaizumi's story. "What the hell is going on?" Everyone turns to see Oikawa walking up to them, and Mattsun lets go of Iwaizumi's shirt as he sighs. "Is she okay?"
"She's been fucking drugged," Mattsun hisses, making both Iwaizumi and Oikawa's eyes go wide.
The already strung tension gets even tighter, and Oikawa sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, I think this enough excitement for tonight," Oikawa starts, but there's no amusement in his words. "Let me get you guys home."
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Oikawa drops off Iwaizumi first, deciding that he was tired of suffocation in the tension, and Hanamaki moves to the front as Mattsun stays in the back, your head on his lap as you sleep.
"Listen, Mattsun, I know you're probably not going to want to hear this right now, but just talk it out with her. Okay?" The only response he gets is a sigh. "And Iwaizumi," he adds, and Mattsun huffs softly as he looks out the window.
"You know that if Iwa knew, he would back off in a second," Oikawa reasons. "You just didn't know this was going to happen, and you're scared."
Mattsun scoffs as a small smile comes over his face. This was the exact reason why he told him back in high school to remind him to not become friends with him.
Makki goes into Issei's place with him, making sure that you're feeling alright, and you stir when they finally get you under the covers. "Hiro? What're you doin' here?"
"Just checking on you," he says softly, and you smile sleepily as you nod.
"Aww, you do care about me," you tease, your voice quiet, and Hiro finds himself laughing.
"Yeah, well, our moms would kill me if I didn't," he teases, rubbing your head gently before turning his attention to Issei. "Call me when she's feeling better, okay?" Matsukawa gives him a small nod, and Hiro gives you one last look before walking out the room.
Issei looks at you to see that you're already sleeping, so he carefully makes his way into the bed, trying his best not to wake you. He manages to lay down, but as soon as he rests his head on his elbow, you stir, turning on your side so you're facing him.
"Issei?"
He smiles softly at you. "Yeah, pretty girl, I'm right here," he whispers, rubbing a finger over your face gently. "How ya feeling?"
"Weird." Your voice is barely audible and your voice is still slurring, and he smiles softly as he continues running his finger up and down your face.
"Yeah?" he responds softly. "Get some sleep, okay?" You give him a small nod, and you try to move closer to him, so he helps you move onto his chest. He starts rubbing up and down your back, and by the time he kisses your forehead, you're already asleep.
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Matsukawa already knows who's at the door when he hears a knock, and he sighs heavily, debating on whether or not he should answer it. "Hey, can we talk?"
Matsukawa doesn't say anything, he just steps to the side to let Iwaizumi in. The tension is tense between the both of them as Mattsun sits down on the couch. "How's she doing?" Iwaizumi's the first to break the silence, and Issei rubs his hand over his jaw before he speaks.
"She's still sleeping," he tells him, gesturing to his room with his head. He doesn't look at him, keeping his eyes somewhere else, but he can see him push his hands in his pockets in his peripheral.
"Listen, Matsukawa. You know that if I had known, I would've stopped."
"Known what?" he says quickly, and Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows.
"Come on, Issei, do I have to spell something out that you already know?" Iwaizumi asks, and Mattsun finally looks at him. "What's so wrong about how you feel?"
He tries to say something, but Iwaizumi knows it's an excuse and cuts him off. "I know it's not that easy, but just tell her. All of us except you want you to accept your feelings."
The silence falls between them for a second before Iwaizumi's sighing. "I didn't come here to push you towards a confession, for the most part," he tacks on, making Mattsun raise his eyebrows at him, but before he can finish, you're walking in the room.
"Iwaizumi? What're you doing here?" you ask, walking up to him, and he glances at Issei before he speaks.
"I just wanted to apologize," he starts, and you frown, a confused but amused smile on your face.
"Apologize? For what?"
"For letting you get drinks by yourself. I should've gone with you," he says, and you're quick to wave him off as you shake your head.
"Oh, no. You do not need to apologize. I was not your fault," you tell him. "Okay?" you add when it seems like he doesn't believe you. He gives you a small smile before he nods. "Is that all you wanted to say?" you ask curiously, and he's nodding quickly as he walks back towards the door.
"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Oh, okay. Well, thank you," you respond, and he barely gives Mattsun a look before he's out the door, and you're frowning as you watch him disappear. "Is it me, or was he acting weird?"
You turn to look at Issei, seeing that he's already next to you. "He probably has a reason for it," he lies, and he's quick to change the subject. "Are you feeling okay?" His hands come up to rest at your waist, and you give him an easy nod.
"I'm okay. My head hurts a little bit, but I took some medicine, so it's kicking in." You chuckle bitterly. "Just feeling kinda stupid that I let what happened last night, happen."
He's quick to pull you closer to him, his hands tightening on your hips. "Hey, don't. Don't feel that way. Do not let that asshole make you feel that way, okay?"
You give him a firm nod, and he looks like he's going to tell you something else, but then he's wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. You raise your eyebrows at how tight he's holding you, and your hands come up to rub his back.
"Everything okay?" you ask, and he lifts his head up to look at.
"Do you just wanna lay around for the rest of the day?" You don't say anything as you lead him to his room (or yours), and you quickly climb into the bed, but he doesn't climb in after you.
You frown as you watch him sit down on the edge of the bed, his back towards you. You watch him for a bit before you move towards him, wrapping your arms around him as you hook your chin over his shoulder. "Are you okay?" you ask, concern laced in your voice.
"I don't like you hanging out with Iwaizumi," he says suddenly, and you jump back a bit.
"Oh," you start. "Okay. Can I ask why? I thought you were cool with him."
"No, it's not--I don't want you--" He cuts himself off, turning his head to look at you. "I want to be the only one you're sleeping with," he tells you softly, and your face drops slightly.
"Issei, you are the only one I'm sleeping with. I told you, I haven't slept with Iwaizumi since then." You're frowning again when he shakes his head, and then he's sighing heavily.
"No, I--" Fucking hell, why is he struggling so much?
"I want to be the only one you're sleeping with, but I don't want to just be sleeping with you," he finally manages, hesitant to keep his eyes on yours as he waits for your answer.
You huff softly as a smile comes across your face. "Really?" you start, and he feels his body relax. "And?"
"And I really, really like you," he finishes, a smile matching yours appearing on his face.
Your smile widens as you lean in closer to him, your noses almost brushing. "You wanna hear a crazy story?"
He nods softly as he feels his cheeks start to hurt from how hard he's smiling. "Yeah."
"I really, really like you, too." He glances down at your lips before the both of you start chuckling softly.
"Yeah?" he says again, and when you nod, he turns his body to face you as his lips meet yours. He can't even break his smile as he pushes you down on the bed, his lips never leaving yours.
He moves you further up the bed as he deepens the kiss, his hands moving up under your shirt. "Say it again," he breathes against your lips, and you give him a chaste kiss before you pull away, a small smirk on your face.
"I'm all yours, Daddy," you coo, making a sly grin spread across his face before he's ripping your shirt over your head before he does the same with his, kissing down your neck when he throws the material to the side.
He spends an excruciatingly long time on your neck, making sure to suck and bite at every inch of your skin as he fondles with your breasts, pulling and pinching your nipples. He starts to move down when your whines and moans start to become higher-pitched, and he spends his time sucking at one of your tits as his hands yank your shorts down.
The material barely makes it to the floor before he's running his fingers through your folds, moving over to suck at your other breast, his tongue circling around the hardened bud before sucking it into his mouth.
Your hips are coming off the bed as he stretches you open, not wanting to wait any longer. "Daddy, please. Need you inside me," you whine, your patience running thin, and you tug at his hair when he seems to ignore you, opting to curl his fingers to hit that spot that puts stars in your vision.
Your toes start to curl as you feel your orgasm coming up, and just as it's about to crest over, he's pulling away from you entirely. You huff in disappointment, a pout on your face as your chest heaves, a thin layer of sweat on your skin.
He's standing up to get rid of the rest of his clothes, his eyes never leaving your body as he takes you in, reminiscing in the fact that you're his and no one else's. His movements become antagonizingly slow once he gets rid of his clothes, slowly crawling back onto the bed, and you're grabbing his shoulders to pull him closer to you.
He chuckles softly at your desperate state, feeling his dick grow harder when he runs the head through your glistening folds. "Daddy, stop teasing, please--"
He cuts you off as he slides all the way in causing your back to arch as you claw at his arms. He settles for shallow movements of his hips as he hovers his face over yours, one of his hands trailing up the lower half of your leg before gripping behind your knee and pulling it up to your chest.
"Say my name, pretty girl, I wanna hear it," he says, and he knows what you're about to say, and he cuts you off with a sharp, deep thrust. "My name," he emphasizes, his hips snapping into you so hard, you can barely focus. "I'm waiting."
"Issei! Please, fuck, right there, don't stop," you babble, and he hooks his arm around your leg, his hand reaching for yours to intertwine your fingers beside your head.
"Who's fucking you this good? Huh?" he asks, shifting his hips and smirking when his head hits that bundle of nerves, making your eyes roll. "Who, pretty girl?" he pushes.
"You, Issei, 's you." Your words are slurring together, drool slowly dribbling out of your mouth as you start to go dumb.
"That's right," he growls, his pace only seeming to increase. "I'm the only one who can fuck you this good, yeah?"
Your nod is almost invisible with how much you're moving with every thrust. "O-Only, you." He chuckles internally at your state; you're so far gone that you're saying anything without even thinking.
He brings a hand down to rub at your clit, your orgasm not far away as he pulls you into a sloppy kiss before pulling your lip between your teeth. "You're my pretty girl, right? My good girl?"
He needs to hear you say it. He needs to make sure that you never think of Iwaizumi ever again.
You don't respond, and he slows his pace down, taking his fingers off your clit which makes you whine in protest. "You gotta answer me, baby."
"Yes, yes, I'm your good girl. Please, Issei, I'm your pretty girl." Your words are so thrown together, that he can barely make them out, but it's enough for him because he starts moving again.
"Yeah, you are," he groans against your lips. "Be my good girl and cum for me." A pinch of your clit and a couple of perfectly aimed thrusts send you over the edge.
Your back arches off the bed, your nails digging into his arm just shy of painful, and the sound of you screaming his name and your walls clamping around him, sends him over the edge. His face falls into your neck as he coats your walls white, fucking you through your highs before stops moving, staying snug inside of you.
He lets go of your hand so that he can let your leg down, but his fingers are right back between yours as he kisses you until you're both pulling away for air. "Seriously? You want more than just sex?" he asks, and huff contently.
"Yes, Issei. I like-like you," you tease, and then he's giving you a blinding smile.
"I like-like you, too," he replies, kissing you on the nose, and you let go of one of his hands to rub your fingers through his curls.
"Are you usually this sappy, boyfriend?" you quip, and he hums as he looks at you with a fond look in his eyes.
"Only for you, girlfriend."
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tags: @iwascrybaby​, @mxhriii​, @cinnitsuki​, @that-chick212​
95 notes · View notes
seostudios · 4 years ago
Text
mark’s dad.
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pairing: johnny x fem!readr
genre: fluff + smut (like little angst) info: dilf!johnny, son!mark, best-friend!mark, aged-up!johnny warnings: age gap, unprotected sex, masturbation (fem) wc: 2.1k
note: hi i wrote this on my phone at like 1-3 in the morning... sorry if it’s bad but i wanted to put out something! i hope you guys enjoy it though cause dilf!johnny is so sexy
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i think my son ditched you for haechan today, dear.” mr.suh informed you as you stood respectively in front of him, wearing an oversized sweater and basketball shorts. “aw man, i drove all this way for a movie with mark, and he ditched me for his other best friend...” you quietly sneer, the obvious jealously making an appearance. johnny chuckled, hands resting on his hips. he felt bad you came all this way for a simple movie night. “how about this?” your eyes look up, to the terrifyingly good looking man. “i will treat you to a movie and popcorn!” he suggested, knowing very damn well he’s going out of his way to possibly spend time with his son’s best friend, who he has known since they were sewed to the hip in sophomore year, now in university. “i-i don’t think that’s be appropriate,” “why? because i’d like to spend time and get to know the friend and possible love interest of my son? i don’t see any harm in that. i’ll get my coat.” he quickly responded, saving himself.
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you knew he said you’d watch a movie together but you didn’t expect to get yourself two tickets to go watch a movie at an actual theatre. “that was amazing mr.suh-“ johnny looks down at your tiny figure holding the popcorn, “-i mean johnny!” if you’re being honest now, it was really nice getting to know johnny, besides the age difference and the possible complications with your amazing friendship with his son, you liked him. making your way over to his car, you listen on as he rambles about how he hasn’t this much of an outing since mark was in high school. “now he’s clinging onto me like we’re dudes, like i’m his dad not his bro.” he laughed, starting the car. “that’s so sweet though!! my mom never gave an effort to trying to be my friend even when i tried,” although you kind of party pooped the mood, you can literally reverse uno it right there. “but whatever!! she still brings me shopping which is good enough,”
nearing midnight and you know god damn well your mom would’ve killed you if she knew you took a taxi home alone in the middle of the night. johnny picked up on this, and even if he saw you in a new light today, a light which could possibly ruin his relationship with his son and a possible one with you, he couldn’t have let you home alone. “you know what? marks sleeping over at haechan’s anyway. i’ll call your mom and tell her you should stay over.” nodding, you let yourself in and up into his (messy) bedroom.
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“hope you enjoy peanut butter and jelly for dinner, i kind of forgot to buy groceries...” johnny said handing you a plate of mini sandwiches. you mutter a quick thanks before digging in. tonight you saw johnny not as mr.suh but as johnny, the hot ass mother fucking dilf of the neighbourhood. you thought you were just a regular teenager to him, but you thought wrong. feeling his gaze on your exposed neck, lips. how his breathing would quicken whenever you leaned in to grab another sandwich. “wanna watch america’s got talent?” you asked pointing towards the couch. he shrugs agreeing, “why not?”
you had insisted on cleaning the dishes, i mean it was the least you could do. “so what’s the point of this whole show? to humiliate people or actually scout out people?!” johnny questioned staring at the screen, not noticing how you went from being on opposite ends of the couch to being almost inches away. should you initiate something? no, that would be overstepping into something erasable.
“this is so wrong,” you tell yourself before abruptly standing up. johnny turns his attention to you, trying to foreshadow your next moves. however, he didn’t expect for you to turn back around and straddle on his lap, “whoa..” he said, gripping onto your hips. “i want you.” his mind goes blur momentarily, “i-i cant, your my son’s best friend...” god, you looked so hot with your shorts bunched up as far as they could as you slowly grinder down onto his (huge) clothed cock. “fu..fuck,” he moans aloud, pushing all thoughts aside except for the one that kept telling him to ruin you tonight. the night was going better than planned, since you were in straddled on a topless johnny with only your bra and shorts on... probably a good twenty five minutes into kiss play, but mark chose the best time to unintentionally cockblock you and his dad. “y/n!!”mark shouted through the phone loud enough for johnny to hear (and the speaker wasn’t even on!) “yes markie?” you cooed, using one hand to speak on the phone and the other to signal johnny to keep it quiet. your hands trailed overtop your breasts, cupping them through your bra and pinching your hardened nipples, soon bringing your cold fingers down to the waistband of your shorts. “it’s fine. we can always watch a movie next weekend, i literally see you everyday! go hang out with hyuck,” you encouraged. past the waistband and under the hello kitty panties your hand comes in contact with your sensitive (dripping) folds. “a-ah, m..mark i gotta go...” “are you getting laid or something? i’m out.” he quickly ends the phone and you made sure to turn on ‘do not disturb’ incase he calls again.
“go on, i’ll watch.” johnny said seductively observing you as you toyed with your sensitive clot. “i’m close johnny!” you quietly moan into his ear, rubbing faster. “cum on your fingers, now.” he ordered, feeling you twitch underneath him, grinding as you had an orgasm. “dirty girl...” he groans watching you pull your fingers up to suck dry. now, you were a filthy girl, tasting yourself without being told to, cumming in your panties which you knew damn might have to force you to go commando tonight in marks bed. it was like a slap in the face when johnny lifted you up to stand, “it’s late. i- we should head to bed... i can give you some new shorts... since you know,” he quickly stammered before swiping his shirt off the floor, heading upstairs.
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it was almost nine in the morning when you woke up, you knew johnny woke up around seven to eight so the sizzling smell of bacon wasn’t just some evil mind games. after last night, you felt, intense shame and guilt. did you seriously just betray your best friend for a lousy orgasm you could’ve done alone in the bathroom. “your up! i made breakfast, go ahead and dig in, i’m just gonna be cleaning up my bedroom.” he sounded as if you didn’t cum all over his lap not even 12 hours ago, but i guess he shouldn’t dwell in the past especially this time.
“mr.suh! my mom’s here! thank you... goodbye!” you shout from the front door. “anytime! bye!” he replies before you jolt out the door.
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it’s been a couple days and johnny hasn’t left your mind. you always think about what stopped him, was it the age? your friendship with mark? that fucking phone call? johnny and you that night was like no other, you saw him for johnny, not mr.suh and it made your panties soak at every thought. how his ink black hair is always combed and in the most attractive middle part, how his broad should could feel when you hold yourself while being railed by his enormous cock. it was big, would it even fit? you’ve been with men before but the bulge you felt poking you in then thigh was something else compared to the other men.
you roamed his mind freely too. spending his day drinking hours, pondering over you, will you just slap him in the face and let him know you want him and you don’t care? he hopes. but it’s wrong. “dad! y/n’s coming over to study today,” mark shouted running down the stairs to his father. “so don’t snatch her up and take her away for a movie date, we got an exam this monday.” he said nonchalantly, the mention of their little outing slipping oh too casually. “w-what?” he asked surprised. “yeah yeah, i know about your little date and hook up” “- we didn’t hook up.” johnny interrupted, “well whatever you were doing for her to end my phone call like that,” he goes to the fridge to grab some milk, “so...” johnny said, eager on his son’s say on this. “so..? do you want me to be mad, dad?” i was lying if i said johnny was chill now... “no!!!!” he shouted, which earns a couple laughs from mark. “hey, dad,” mark sits down infront of his father. “it’s okay, y/n probably likes you back so you can do whatever you want with her, except hurt her cause i’ll kill you.” he deadpans before letting him off with a laugh. “so she can be your new mom for all you care?” he asked, playfully of course, waiting for the “hell no” and “what the fuck dad?!” to come but... “i mean she bags and tells me what to do, she helps me with school, laundry and chicks so... i don’t see why not,”
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ding ding ding ding ding ding now what? hopping off the bean bag you were binge watching the office on, you head over to the door, not caring what you look like, just shut up to whoever had the audacity to spam a doorbell. “hello?!” you look up, “hey y/n,” johnny said with a small daisy in his hand.
“let me be your boyfriend,”
“what about mark?” you asked, staring at your feet wiggle in anticipation. hoping he’d tell you he doesn’t care and we could do whatever we wanted to. “funny you asked, he said for all he cares you could be his step mom.” you threw your head back laughing “he what?! no he didn’t....” the laughter dies down soon enough to get back to seriously listening in on what he has to say but did mark really not care? “your girlfriend huh?” you asked, raising a brow. he nodded. johnny proceeds to take the daisy and place it behind your ear, “you look like shit, but that is sexy as fuck.” he said, caressing your cheek before leaning in to place a peck on your lips.
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“i don’t get why you drove half an hour here to say that, when i was already coming over to study.” you tell your boyfriend, johnny, as your backs his mattress. it was seriously an eventful day, wasn’t it? “i thought i should be romantic,” he shrugged turning to his side to wrap his large arms around your waist pulling you in closer. “i like this...” he mumbled into your hair, slowly drifting off to sleep.
“are you falling asleep?! we need to leave in ten minutes!!” you shouted, attempting to free yourself from his hold but he was knocked out and not letting go any time soon. “i hate you.” “i think it’s the quiet opposite y/n dear,” he replied, burying himself in the blanket, bringing you with him. “now let’s take a quick nap, mark can wait,” you sigh in defeat, “okay fine... twenty minutes!”
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five months later, and you couldn’t believe having a relationship with your best friends dad was oddly working out perfectly. “johnny! fuck! baby your so good!” you whine as he penetrates into you against the wall. your legs wrapped around his waist as his cock rubs around your g-spot stimulating you into your third orgasm of that night. mark had recently gone travelling with jeno for fun so that meant you and johnny could’ve have your own fun in the empty house. “you can cum for me one more time can’t you?” he begged, placing you on the kitchen counter, kissing down your stomach. “answer me...” he sucks harhly on your clit. “yes! i can!!” you whined, squirming feeling johnny licking up your juicie; which sure as hell was mixed with his own cum, lapping his tongue around until you were shaking under his mouth and curling your toes to his mouth’s magic. “i’m- i’m cumming!!” you scream, releasing your juices onto the man’s face. “my favourite meal of the day.” he playfully joked before pinching your nipple. “tired?” he asked, as if he hadn’t been using you as a cum dump for hours. “mhm,” you reply opening your arms for him to carry you up, because “no way in hell am i walking up the stairs today after being railed by a monster cock.” you said snorting with a laugh. nonetheless, johnny swoops you up and gracefully carried you up and into his bed, “we can clean up tomorrow, let’s sleep now.” he said, feeling you wrap around him like a koala. “mmm goodnight... i love you,” you said in the crock of his neck, right below his ear before drifting off, “love you too,”
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anxiousstark · 4 years ago
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Gone with the waves | JJ MAYBANK
Request:  Could I please get an imagine w JJ where everyone knows that you’re his only weakness and then something happens so y/n gets hurt so we get protective and worried JJ🥺 maybe Barry or someone else hurts her
I wanted to be original, and I got this idea! I believe it is quite cool? Hope it’s up to the anon’s expectations and that you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it! I’m quite proud of this tbh!
Warnings: Mentions of severe injuries, shark-related content, blood, swearing (a lot). Angst, but really just protective JJ confessing his feelings.
Word Count: 2067
All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.
A/N: If you guys like Teen Wolf or Dylan O’Brien, I have a Teen Wolf Rewrite. I would be so happy if you guys check it out.
BIG MASTERLIST
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People screamed, cheering on. Smirks decorated their faces while their eyes followed the waves of the sea and the people riding the waves as if they were controlling them. Plastic bags were everywhere, hoping that people would throw their trash there, avoiding more sea pollution while they enjoyed the tournament.
A cold object against the back of your neck made you jump, a tiny screech coming out from in between your lips. "JJ, you scared the shit out of me." The blond boy smiled, sitting down on the sand, next to you. His fingers gripped a cold water bottle, extending his arm and offering it to you.
"The sea it's going to be colder today." He brushed his hands together, trying to get rid of the sand as he wanted to take off his shirt. You tried not to make it obvious that you were glancing at his body. "Nervous?" He grabbed your bag, pulling his shirt inside.
Swallowing two big gulps of freezing water, you nodded. "Yeah," You gave him back the bottle, which he gratefully grabbed, taking some sips. "It's been so long."
A couple of months ago, you had arrived at the Outer Banks with your big brother and his soon-to-be wife. Sadly, your parents passed away when you were younger, but you were lucky to have someone like Scott, your big brother. Emily, your sister-in-law, was also marvellous.
Back where you used to live, surfing was what kept you from wanting to give up. The heat of the day against the cold water, both fighting to change the temperature in your body. The sound of the calming waves, elegantly getting bigger and louder. The way your fingers grazed the water, helping to get you deeper into the sea.
However, two years before you had an accident.
The day you arrived at the Outer Banks, you spent the night wandering along the seashore. For you, the sound of the waves at night was magical. You were completely sure it had healing properties. The calm of the night was interrupted by a storm. A storm rounded by pretty girls, trying to flirt with him. A storm with blue eyes and blonde hair.
Without noticing, you got closer to the storm, which is something no one in their right minds would do. His name was JJ Maybank, and he was telling the story of how a shark had bitten him. You snickered, and he noticed, asking what was so funny about something that almost got him killed.
JJ Maybank didn't expect seeing you rolling your pants up, showing a real shark bite. For him, it was cool and badass. He immediately wanted to get to know you. He was even more mesmerized when he knew you were new to OBX. He wouldn't have forgotten your face so easily if you were from there.
For you, it was terrifying. It made you fear what you loved the most. The sea. It also meant that you weren't able to get into the sea. The physical and emotional pain being too much to withstand.
Now, exactly 11 months after arriving at the Outer Banks, you were ready to participate in your first Surfing tournament after what happened. You had to thanks JJ, who walked beside you, helping you get over your aversion towards the sea.
"Where are the others?" You asked, fingers slightly grazing your surfboard.
"They went to buy some food and drinks." He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the breeze caress his hair. He completely ignored the people screaming, and the ones that were participating in the tournament. "Told them to buy you something for when you come out of the water."
You hummed. Your heart started beating wildly when some of the participants came out of the water, meaning that the next ones would have to start getting ready. It was your turn.
"We are here!" Kiara's mouth was full of french fries, hands tightly holding a brown paper bag, offering it to the blond sitting next to you. The others were back too, sitting behind you two, knowing that your anxiety was kicking, and knowing that JJ was the only one capable of soothing you.
"Please, from number 5430 to number 5440. Get ready." The voice sounded all around the beach, making you gasp, trying to breathe.
"Okay," JJ moved, now looking directly at you. His hands grasped your thighs, moving you, so you were staring at him. "Did you warm up?" You nodded. "Did you put suncream?" Nod. His hands went down to your ankles, fingers rubbing circles, massaging them. "Any pain?" This time you shook your head. "Alright. Did you have a good breakfast and long ago?" Again, you nodded.
"Please, from number 5430 to number 5440. Go to the seashore. You know how this works. Every surfer will have their judge. They will take into account the precision to ride the waves, the height of the waves, time taken by the participants to ride them, times you fall, and times you continue trying. Have fun and enjoy the waves."
Maybank got up from the sand, one hand helping you stand. His other hand grabbed the surfboard, without any trouble, placing it under his armpit. He walked with you towards the seashore.
The surfboard was stuck into the sand, he turned you around, pulling up the zipper of your neoprene suit. "You got this." He whispered. When he stood in front of you, his eyes examined yours, knowing you were anxious. He bit his lower lip. "What did the great white shark say to the surfer?" You gazed at him, confused by his words. "Don’t worry, I’ll catch you."
You gasped, not being able to hold your laugh. "JJ, stop!" You groaned, a smile still in your face. "Don't do jokes like that!"
"At least you smiled!" He grinned, kissing your forehead. "You better concentrate on how loud I'm going to cheer you up." His hands squeezed your shoulders. "I believe in you. Good luck."
When JJ went back to the others, he couldn't eat his food. His stomach was upset enough to make him bite his nails, no appetite. "Should I say it now?" Sarah voiced, glancing at John B, who nodded. "Topper is in the tournament."
The blond moved his head so fast that he almost got dizzy. "As in at the beach?"
John B shook his head, burger being left on top of a brown paper bag resting on his lap. "As in the tournament. He is participating."
"What number?" JJ asked, glaring at them.
"5433." A voice behind him sounded. When JJ turned around, he saw Rafe Cameron, a smirk decorating his stupid face. "Isn't Y/N 5434? Aw, they are going to be next to each other."
Blue eyes snapped to the blue sea. You were already sitting on your surfboard, like the other participants, waiting for a great wave to come your way. Topper was a couple of meters away from you, but still quite close, also ready to ride those waves. "I swear to god," He suddenly got up, pushing Rafe. "If Topper does anything to her I will drown you both with my own hands." His fists clenched as he saw how Rafe walked away, smiling to himself. JJ turned around, looking at his friends. "Why did no one told me about Topper before Y/N went into the water?"
"Dude," Pope decided to speak. "Even if we had told you, you can't forbid her to get into the water just because of Topper."
"I can." He was convinced. "I can if I know Topper is in there. You guys know he doesn't play fair. She doesn't need to go through any of his fucking insane jokes."
"She's going to be alright." Kie tried to calm down her friend. However, she was terrified of what Topper could do. He wasn't going to play fair. He would do anything to win, especially when money was involved.
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You kept calm, remembering all the things JJ had taught you. You were so thankful. Not only had he taught you to enjoy the waves again, but also to keep calm. At first, it was difficult. The fear of something big swimming under you, ready to attack, being fascinated by the smell of your blood. It terrified you more than ever.
There was no time to get lost in your thoughts as you perceived a magnificent wave coming your way. "This is it." Your chest was immediately pressed to the surfboard, arms moving faster, taking you to your destination.
You could hear people cheering back at the beach. They were cheering for you. You were riding the biggest wave of the day. Smiling to yourself, you forgot about concentrating because you were enjoying it, which was better than focusing.
However, you felt your surfboard abruptly shifting. Thankfully, you were able to maintain your balance. "Yo, get out of my wave." You snapped your head quickly, looking behind you. Then, concentrating on your balance again. Topper was so close to you. He was in YOUR wave, the front of his surfboard hitting the back of yours.
You could hear the commotion on the beach. Not only the judges had noticed that Topper was getting too close to you, breaking the rules. Not willing to follow the rules. "Stop," You screeched, your entire body tensing as you felt him hitting your board again.
Everything happened so fast, one minute you were telling Topper to get away from you, the second you were falling out of your board. The fins of Topper's board slicing your left shoulder. The sea consuming you.
Back at the shore, everyone fell silent, gasping. JJ held hands with John B, eyes wide open, dry mouth, heart beating like crazy. You weren't coming out of the water.
His hands went to grasp his hair as he saw three red boats getting father into the water, hoping to find you. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He gasped for air. "Oh my god." He aggressively rubbed his face. "I'm going to kill them."
JJ thought he couldn't feel as worse as he felt at that moment. However, when the boats came back with you, he almost passed out. You were violently sobbing, blood covering your entire left arm. One of the lifeguards was pressing as many clothes as possible, trying to cut the blood.
The blond boy didn't think twice, running towards the boat. He was scared of touching you, terrified of hurting you. "Oh my god." He didn't dare to ask if you were okay, you clearly weren't. "I-I-."
"Hey boy, who are you?" The lifeguard asked.
"She's my girl." He nodded, eyes not leaving your wet face. "Yeah, I'm her boyfriend." The man explained to him that he had to press the clothes tightly against your shoulder as he had to run back to the tower, getting what he needed to take care of you while the ambulance was on its way.
"S-so I'm your girl now?" You continued whimpering, avoiding looking at the blood dripping down your entire arm.
"Always were." He offered a quick smile, swallowing hard. "Just making it official."
As the ambulance came and you were taken into the back, JJ held your hand tightly after telling the others to meet you two at the hospital. He sighed. "I-I thought you were going to die." He started crying, tightly holding your hand.
"You aren't getting rid of me so easily."
"I think you are too busy not trying to bleed out, but you won."
You groaned, whimpering a little due to the pain. "Did I win because of this?" You referred to the wound. JJ shook his head, letting you know that it was already decided before Topper threw you off your surfboard.
"You are bleeding out, I thought you almost died, I'm going to kill Topper and you are 100,000 dollars richer."
"50,000 dollars."
"No, the prize is-."
"I know." You turned your head to look at him. "My intention all along was to give you half of the money if I got a big prize. All if I got a small one." JJ's heart thumped painfully. "You deserve it, and you need it." He was going to complain, but you didn't let him. "Just a girl sharing her prize money with her boyfriend." You grinned.
"Well, at least it wasn't a shark this time."
"JJ!"
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xsarcasticwriterx · 4 years ago
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I hate you
Summary: In a world where your enemies name appears on one wrist and your soulmates appears on the other but what happens when it's the same name on both
Pairing: loki x reader
Warnings: fluff but some major angst at end, swearing,
Notes: Finally not bucky pfft anyways i got this idea from a post I saw on instagram hope ya like it :) oh and this takes place during ragnarok and infinity war also yes i know the lines aren't the exact same but i tried to keep it similar.
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You hated loki no hate wasn't strong enough you despised the god. With his tricks and mischief. with his knifes and need to simply be an absolute dickbag. all of this is what made the position you were put in even more confusing and messy.
You stared down at your wrist looking at the names well name. singular. The names were supposed to be one of your enemy and one of your soulmate which of course frustrated people to the end of which name suppose to take what role. Yours might seem simpler but it made it more complicated.
there was one name. loki. It sat on both your wrist being there since the day you were born. at first it confused you and your parents why the name was the same. Then the confusion grew when a few days later a prince was born named loki odinson. 
So your enemy was loki but was also your soulmate. The more you were around loki the more you understood the enemy part of it. He'd pull mean pranks and constantly pester you. you assumed the names on his wrist were in the same case as yours making his constant bother make sense.
Of course now wasn't the time to rehash all of that. you currently were going through something that felt similar to an acid trip. They spoke something of the grandmaster and how this planet was created or whatever. you simply felt sick and like someone stuck your brain in a blender. 
you open your eyes not even realizing you had closed them at some point. looking around you are sat next to thor and in front of you is a strange man with eyeliner who looks like a dude going through a midlife crisis. 
behind you are rainbow guards. confused you turn to lowkey who looks just as confused as you. “well aren't these two just marvelous. he and a she right?” he ask looking up at a girl. she nods “yes he and she” she smiles at you two. “see this is why your amazing. what do i always say when she shows up it starts with b” he says looking to another girl. “trash” she says glaring at the other girl. “wha- no were you just looking to call her trash that doesn't even start with b” he said confused and shaken. “booze hag”
you cant help but snicker at this. “I- what no i'm sorry i always say your the best god. she brought me my champion y'know” he says with a smile. “so you say every time shes here.”  she replied jealousy thick. “how much for them” grandmaster ask. this shakes you up and throws even thor off guard. “hi yes excuse me were not for y'know sale”  you say like its an outlandish thing. “10,000″ the girl says. “I am not for sale” thor says ripping his arms out of the chair. “ooo a fighter I like it” he says then the girl presses a button and thor is shaking like he was tased. 
“Y'know actually i think i'm ok being sold off can I just nooot have that happen to me?” you ask with a wide grin. “I like her shes funny” get her out of the chair” the grandmaster says. “give her the credits hurry” with a grumble the girl gets paid. “you will pay for this.” thor says to the scavenger. “no I got paid for this.” she says smugly walking off. your chains are released and you stand up rubbing your wrist. “do you got any lotion or anything cause that shit made my wrist all dry” you say nodding towards the chair. 
“Get the girl some lotion go go” he says to the other. “come follow me” he says after you get handed some lotion. you walk into a room full of people thor following behind on his chair. The room seems like a party people are chatting music is blasting. “I am the god of thunder!” thor says. tiny thunder comes out his fingers making you chuckle. His hammer being broken but be affecting him more than expected. “well there's no thunder but you did create little sparkles there.” he says walking to a dj panel.
“hey y/n get me out of here” thor whispers to you. “Man i don't even know how i got out ok guess you gotta just be awesome like me” you look around and spot someone who for once actually made you smile “or like loki apparently.” you point out to thor. “loki!” he yells. you hit thor's arm “shut up” you say. loki looks at you two confused.
“loki!!” thor says happily. you simply facepalm you didn't want to talk to loki nor did you want grandmaster from finding out you know him especially if he's caused as much chaos here as he has on asgard. loki looks concerned and does a fake smile and goodbye before walking towards yall “shhh sh” he says. “what are you doing here” he ask “Me and y/n were put in a chair she was released wheres your chair?” thor ask. “i didn't get a chair” loki whispers back. “well get me out of this one” thor ask “i cant.” “get me out” “I cant” they debacle before you interrupt “how did you get here?” you ask. “I was here a few weeks ago I gained his trust i know hes strange but im in the good with him” loki says.
“what are we whispering about” Grandmaster sneaks up on yall. “jesus fuck what are you a mouse?!” you ask feeling your heart pounding like drums. “you know this lord of thunder?” grandmaster ask loki. “god of thunder heh tell him” thor says nodding. “i've never met this man in my life” loki says with a nervous smile. “their brothers” you chime in “adopted” loki clarifies. you smile at the grandmaster. “well if you want to get back to assguard or-” grandmaster starts “asgard” thor clarifies. “Only those who defeat me beloved champion can leave.”  grandmaster said with a smile. “just send him that way he’ll stab whomever whatever to get back home” you say. thor nods with a smirk.
and off he goes. not long after loki nods towards where thor was sent and you nod back. As much as you hate loki it was nice having 2 familiar faces here. You walked after loki and snuck into the room. loki was making hand gestures as thor threw a rock through him. “course” you say with a shake of your head. loki and thor look towards you. “why did i actually think for once you'd be nice and actually be here” you say rolling your eyes. “Never put faith in my brother to be nice” thor says throwing another rock through loki. loki rolls his eyes “You don't want my help then i'll just go.” loki says turning around then turning back. “I haven't seen this champion but i know he is unstoppable and terrifying. I have placed a large wager against you won't let me down.” loki says walking off.
“He's right ya know, loki, this champion is a champion for a reason and you don't have your hammer anymore you cant even do your cool lighting trick you barely got it out your fingers...just don't get killed out there please. Loki won't admit it but he cares about your dumbass and so do i so do us both a favor and don't get killed” you say walking out the room. loki was right at the other side and rolled is eyes. “that was cheesy” he says. “shut up i just don't want you to be more annoying than usual if he fucking dies.” you reply with a grumble.
Soon enough the battle comes and you sit next to loki. your nerves become evident the more time passes. loki puts a hand on your bouncing leg. slowly it calms down. his hand stays there as thor walks out. you gulp deeply. they announce the champion and out walks.....hulk? “I have to get off this plant” loki says starting to walk off. you giggle. loki's experiences with hulk were far from fun.
“where are you going?” grandmaster ask walking loki back to his seat. “Hey! I know him! hes a friend from work!” thor says yelling. you bite back a smile. “ahem yea we kind of all work together” you say with a smile to grandmaster. his smile falters. loki looks nervous. as much as you wanted to laugh at his pain hulk throwing you around can be quite traumatic. “hey you're up here...hes down there” you say “hes not coming after you ok hes controlled its ok.” you say to loki. he nods.
The fight goes on and right when you see an end that scared you thor got his powers and blasted hulk. “oh shit” you mumble. “of course” loki mumbles. thor lost the fight that's the summary of it. You and loki ended up wondering the place. “shouldn't we try to find thor?” you ask. “if you want thor i can take you to him but i figured id take you somewhere” loki said. “uh yea sure” you said with a shrug. 
You a loki end up at the top of a mountain the view looks beautiful. the sky was many shades of blue from dark to light. “this is...this is beautiful” you say. “yes it is” he replied looking at you. you turn to him seeing him look at you. you smile...maybe loki wasn't so bad after all.
Then an alarm goes off “My precious champion is missing that seductive lord of thunder as stolen him” a hologram of grandmaster says. “shit....thor” you say. “follow” loki says. he grabs your hand and you two end up in the grandmasters office him and the scavenger who brought you and thor is there debate who can bring thor and hulk in faster. “Well i come as a pair” loki said holding your hand up. “uhhhhhh suppose so?” you say with a shrug. “i woke up wanting an execution but ill settle for this little ‘who gonna get him first’” grandmaster says. 
you three walk out. “now why would you help my brother escape” loki ask “I help no one but myself” she replies. loki and her end up fighting as you just sit back and watch what can be said watching loki get his ass handed to him was fun. when she knocks him out she looks to you. “do i have to knock you out too? or i can just use this.” she says holding the remote. “uh see i'm not really with him but ya see he makes a great partner in crime but ill just follow willingly.” you say putting your hands up. “good choice” she says.
“Should probably get your name if your going to take us hostage” you say. “valkyrie” she says. you two walk in silence into a room as she ties him up. “i’ll be back keep him there” she says walking out. you sit next to loki and sigh. “your my soulmate...you? i don't know if i have the worst luck.....no i have the best luck.” you say with a smile. one of his sleeves is slightly up and you can see your name on his wrist. “how did we get stuck like this...together.” you ask. loki looks so peaceful asleep. this trip has made you see a vulnerable and kinder loki.
you kiss his cheek before seeing him squirm. his eye open and he looks around. “course she made you babysit” he grumbles. aaaaand he ruined it. you roll your eyes. “shut up and make this easy on both of us and just stay.” you say. “what am I a dog?” he says with a huff. “well you were a snake one time” you say laughing at the memory. he laughs “fair enough” he replies. He starts to say something else when the doors open. thor and bruce walk in. “y/n!” he says excitedly. “Bruce” you say happily hugging him. You two had been close before he disappeared to well here. loki grumbles and bruce turn to him. “last time i saw you, you were ready to kill us where are we at now?” bruce ask. “it varies moment to moment” loki replies. 
bruce looks at you concerned. “he's on our side for now.” you say sitting next to loki. “look we need to get out of here.” he points to a portal outside “through there” he says. “through the devil's anus?!” valkyrie ask. you burst out laughing. “I wasn't aware it was called that when i picked it” thor says slightly embarrassed. “well we need a ship mine wont make it through that” valkyrie says.
They then nerd out about ships as loki struggles in his chains. “Don't even try there stuck there” you whisper to him. he sighs and gives up. “I just so happen to know the codes to grandmasters ship keep” loki says. “and your just ready to help?” valkyrie ask “i have run out of favors with grandmaster sO” he says and sighs. you side eye loki suspicious. he smiles you and you look to the others. 
“what the worst he betrays us? Would just be another day with the odinson boys.” you say standing up. So that was that. You,thor, and loki would go get the ship. you two were at a door when thor started “I suppose we should talk.” he said. “i disagree,open communication was never our family's forte” loki said. “you have no idea quite the revelation sense we last spoke” thor says
“hello” thor says to the people...things that see you 3 come in. “hi” loki says making you smile “sup” you say before you 3 blast them. “Odin brought us together” loki says as you 3 hide from the shot fired back. “Its almost poetic that his death should split us apart.” loki continues. you sigh “loki why are you so prominent on keeping this angsty wall of yours up” you grumble earning you a side eye. you three then finish them off walking to another key pad. “We might as well be strangers now” loki says ignoring your statement.
“Two sons of the crown, set adrift” loki says. you'd love to say something or really just slap loki so he stops pushing his brother away further and further with every words but you let him continue. The door opens and a man points a gun at loki making him backup and you giggle as thor blast him to the ceiling. “thought you didn't want to talk about it” thor says walking into the elevator. loki puts a finger up “here's the thing” he says stepping over the body. you roll your eyes and follow.
“im probably better off staying here on sakaar.” loki says. that's not what he wants. you stare at thor which he clearly doesn't get cause he then says “That's exactly what I was thinking” 
loki makes a stunned face and looks shocked and confused. “Did you just agree with me?” he says shocked. you hit loki's shoulder “what its surprising” you roll your eyes. “come on this place is perfect for you. its savage,chaotic,lawless. Brother you're gonna do great here.” thor says matter of factly. you title your head up and sigh. “morons” you grumble earning two confused looks.
“Do you truly think so little of me?” lokie ask. you shake your head. they really are stupid aren't they. “Loki, i thought the world of you.” thor says. finally now loki dont fuck this up. loki's face soften ups and you smile at it. “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever” thor continues. come oooon.  “but” fucking hell thor. “at the end of they day your you and i'm me” thor says with a shrug. loki looks hurt now. “i don't know maybe there's still good in you. but lets be honest our paths diverged a long time ago” he finishes. fucking hell thor you just had to go and fuck it up. loki contemplates what was just said looking between the floor and thor. 
he sighs and nods. his face is full of hurt. you grab his hand softly and give him a small smile which he reciprocates. you may hate loki which lets be honest even that was falling apart but you still wanted him happy. you hated how hurt he looked. like a kicked puppy. “yea...it's probably for the best that we never see each other again.” loki says voice full of pain and almost desperate for thor to deny the allegations.  “that's what you always wanted” thor says patting loki. “yall are the most idiotic gods there could be” you say taking thor off guard. loki simply laughs. thor shakes his head and turns back to the front.
“hey lets do get help” thor says happily. this wipes the hurt from loki and replaces it with confusion. “what?” he ask “get help.” he says again. “no.” loki says shaking his head. “come on, you love it” thor says excitedly. “I hate it” loki says shaking his head again. “Its great it works everytime” thor says “its humiliating loki says swinging his hands bringing attention to you two holding hands. This earns a smirk from thor before he says “You have a better plan?” he ask.
“no” loki says. “were doing it” thor says with a smile. “we are not doing get help” loki says matter of factly. next thing you knew loki was limp over the shoulder and thor was yelling get help before throwing loki at the guards. you laughed falling onto your ass. “see this is why i didn't want to do it” loki says nodding to you. “im im ok im good” you say trying to stop laughing. you get up but not far before loki does as loki does and betrays yall. he twitches on the floor and thor walks off. “i'm gonna stay here with him” you say. thor looks suspiciously at you before carrying on. 
“if you just hadn't been so stupid and said how you felt and what you wanted from thor we wouldn't be here and now im stuck taking care of your dumbass once again. God i don't even know why i stay anymore when all you do is exactly what would hurt me what you trying to fulfill the enemy part of our deal?” you ask lifting up your sleeves showing the two loki names. “I mean really loki why do you keep doing this please just explain it to me. I started to see a side of you the side that I actually cared for and saw us being real soulmates but then you pulled this crap again and now i don't even know what to feel.” you say before the doors bust in. a rocky man and a group of others walk in. picking up the remote and stopping loki's twitching. Loki looks at you with soft eyes before turning back to the men smuggly. “you look like your in desperate need of a leader” he says. you huff and he looks at you and smiles.
“why thank you” the group says. With that y'all are off on a ship. “sooo where are we running to now” you ask loki. “no more running were going to asgard and were going to kill my sister.” he says with a nod. you smile. you grab lokis shoulders throwing him off. “whatd i do?” he ask. for the first time ever he seems like he'd do anything for you. “nothing” you say with a smile. you kiss his cheek. he looks around confused before clearing his throat. “ok good um ok” he says turning to the panel. you giggle before walking to chat with the others. finally you arrived at asgard which is on fire and surrounded by death. “read?” he ask. you grab his hand. “always” you say turning to him. he smiles and nods. the ship door opens and you all run out and attack.
when the fight seems like a dead end thor blast the whole kingdom with lighting and launches himself out to the bridge. loki smirks slightly which you see and smile yourself. “your late” thor says  “your missing an eye” loki says. “ok enough let clear these out and-” you start before hela emerges. what the actual fuck. “hit her with lighting” loki says. “I just hit her with the biggest lighting bolt and she acted like it was nothing” thor yells. “wait....what if this isn't about stopping ragnarok.  what if it was about causing it”
thor looks at loki who looks surprised. “this is insane even for me” he says walking off. “Loki!” you yell. he turns around. you grab him and kiss him. its soft and its like the world stopped just for a moment before you have to pull away. “don't get killed” you say. he nods and smiles “anything for you darling” he says with a wink before running off. thor clears his throat. “let's fight” you say. with that you and valkyrie fight with the others as thor hold hela off. you worry for loki how he’ll get out.
Then ragnarok emerges and fire is everywhere. hels is distracted and you and the others run into the ship. flying away Taika says something about the foundation. then it explodes. a few minutes later loki is next to you. “hello darling” he says. you smile and grab onto loki pulling him into a hug. “loki thank god” you say pulling away. you kiss him deeply. “don't ever do that shit again” you say.
You all spend 3 months flying around before coming across a teeny tiny issues heh. you sat in a pool of blood of your friends. people you grew to care about. you tried to scream but were muffled by the guard on your mouth. After the 1st scream they put the guard on to stop the noise. thor was tied down. Heimdall was dead and hulk had been blasted away.  You tried to scream again but it stopped as soon as it exited.
Thanos had just decided earth was where needed to be next. “if i might interject, if you are going to earth you might want a guid” loki says appearing. he walks towards thanos. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena” loke says walking up to thanos “if you consider failure experience” thanos said. “I consider experience experience” he said firmly. “All mighty thanos, I loki, prince of asgard, odinson, the rightful king of jotunheim,god of mischief.” he starts spewing off his titles. you see him make a knife appear and you try to scream once again. “Do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.” he says starting to power before trying to stab thanos. thanos stops it. “undying” thanos says. “you should choose your words more carefully.” thanos says as he forces loki to drop the knife. 
Thanos grabs loki by the neck chocking him. you scream but no sound escapes. tears flood your eyes. “you will never be a god” loki says with his last breath before thanos snaps his neck. thor tries to scream too bt fails.thanos walks over and drops loki's body. “no resurrections this time” he  says before lighting everything on fire and leaving. with that your guards are released. you run to lokis body. 
you sob and scream. “y/n” thor tries. “shut the fuck up thor” you yell at him through gritted death. you hold loki. your enemy, your nemesis but more importantly your soulmate. rolling up his sleeves you see the one with your name. grabbing the other you see a different name. Luca. you knew him he was annoying as hell. of course now he was another corpse among the rest. you weren't his enemy. He was only yours. Everything he did everything that annoyed you was him trying to be close but in loki's own way. Loki Laufeyson. your enemy and your one true love.
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comphersjost · 4 years ago
Text
All for You | 4 ➸  Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk
thank you all so fucking much for all of your kind words and support and love. i though about making an epilogue type of part to tie up loose ends, if that’s what you guys want. let me know?
A week after Matthew walked out on you at the arena, his teammates show up at your door, dragging their wreck of a teammate to the only one he wants - but refuses - to see: you. 
word count: 3.5k+
warnings: alcohol, using alcohol to cope, mentions of sex, quite a bit of angst
part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
masterlist
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The moment the vibrating starts on your bedside table you know that something’s wrong. The Caller ID reads Noah Hanifin. You should have deleted his number really. Especially after the trainwreck of a game last week. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it, needing some sort of lifeline to Matt. 
You watch as your phone stops ringing, revealing the notification for 4 missed calls from Noah and the time: 2:04 am. The screen lights up with a photo of him again, and this time you pick up. 
“Hello?” you answer groggily, sitting up to turn on the lamp as you rub the sleep out of your eyes. 
“Open the door.”
“What?” Your head feels heavy from being woken up in the dead of night. “Noah what are you-” 
“Is that Y/N?” you hear through the chaos in the background, and your sleep addled brain faintly registering that the words came from Elias. 
“Y/N!” you hear another voice exclaim, and suddenly you're wide awake. “Hi, Y/N, Hanny, dude, tell her she's the most beautiful girl in the world - Hanny listen to me - and her Instagram post was so cute - hey, Hanny!” 
You hear more shuffling over the line, and a sharp “Shut up Chucky!” from Noah. Suddenly there’s silence, and Noah’s voice comes out clearer than before. 
“Hey,” he says, “We’re bringing Matty up in the elevator, please open the door.” 
“Why?” you ask, “He made himself pretty damn clear at the game that he didn't want to see me so -” 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Noah interrupts, voice seeping with frustration. “He won't let us take him anywhere but here, okay? He saw you post that photo today and got all sad and mopey when he left practice and then Lindy and I found him like this. He’s been drinking since like 6 o’clock and we barely managed to cut him off like an hour ago and he's a fucking wreck so, please, Y/N, just open the door.” 
Maybe that lifeline was a good idea after all.
Cursing under your breath, you reluctantly get out of bed, turning on the lights as you make your way through your apartment. Just as you're swinging the door open, Matt is stumbling out of the elevator, each of his arms thrown around Noah and Elias. 
Matt’s eyes light up when he sees you, attempting to escape the grasp of his teammates to rush towards you. “Woah!” Noah says, grasping Matthew’s arm so he doesn't go anywhere. “Dude, relax, you can barely walk.” 
You see Matt pout as they get closer, and for some reason the sight makes you tear up. There's something about the way he looks right now, helpless and wide-eyed, being carried by his teammates like a child, that makes your heart ache. When they finally reach your door you try to hide your grimace at the smell of liquor on his breath. 
“Hi pretty girl,” Matt slurs with a grin, his head lolling to the side. “Did we wake you up?” 
“Yeah,” you say softly, stepping aside to let Noah and Elias practically drag him inside. “That's okay though.” 
Matt mumbles something unintelligible as his teammates deposit him on the couch. Noah turns to you when he’s sure Matt won't fall over. 
“I'm sorry-” he starts but you put your hand up to stop him. 
“It’s okay, Noah,” you reassure him, eyes flickering to the curly-haired boy on your couch. “Is he…?” 
“No,” Elias pipes up from beside Matt. “He's the furthest thing from okay, Y/N.” You flinch at his harsh tone, even though you knew he was right. This was your fault. Elias’s expression softens when Noah shoots him a reprimanding glare. “I'm sorry,” he steps towards you, “I didn't mean to-” 
“You're right,” you say abruptly, gaze focusing on Matt’s face. His eyes are closed but he's not sleeping, that lopsided grin still on his face. “You're right, Elias. Thank you for bringing him here.” 
Noah opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a complaint from the couch. 
“Why are you guys still here?” Matt whines, “I wanna hang out with my girl.” Noah and Elias both glance at you sideways at the last words, but you just sigh. 
“You guys can go,” you say softly, “I can take care of him, I got this.” 
The two men hesitate for a moment, glancing at each other and seemingly having a silent conversation. They seem to come to an agreement as Elias claps Matty on the back and stands from the couch. You follow the two of them to the door, leaning on it as the two turn to you. 
“Guys,” you say, stopping them as they turned to leave. You pause, unsure if you should even ask but- “What did Brady say on the ice?” 
Elias inhales sharply, looking at Noah as he attempts to mask the reluctance in his eyes. 
“Please,” you whisper. 
Noah looks at Elias for a split second before he sighs and his shoulders slump. “He said-” Elias cuts him off before he can finish. 
“He said that if Chucky wasn't such a wimp that was afraid of his feelings he could’ve been the one to get the girl.” 
You stop breathing. 
“That little shit,” you seethe, curling and uncurling your hands before you punch something. “He's such a fucking instigator I'm going to kill him.” 
“Why?” Noah asks, tilting his head in confusion. “I mean, Matty came at him for it but, he’s right isn't he?” 
“What?” your head snaps towards Noah, eyes wide in shock. “What are you talking about? Brady and I tested the waters and figured we’d be better as friends. He started a fight because he could.” 
“No way,” Elias says, “Chucky said-” 
“He would have known if he just listened to me!” Noah steps back at your exclamation, glancing to each side down the empty hallway. Your voice drops to a hoarse whisper, “He would have known if he stayed in the fucking trainer’s room and let me explain!” 
“You fucked his brother,” Noah reminds you. 
“I was in love with Brady, Noah!” you snapped, “That was the point of this whole thing - of everything! And then he told me he loved me out of nowhere!” 
Noah scoffs, though he doesn't miss your use of past tense. “It wasn't out of nowhere, Y/N, and you know it. He brought you to games. He brought you to team events. He bailed on us at least once or twice a week to hang out with you. Have you ever even seen him flirt with a girl since you've moved to Calgary?” 
“I didn't know what to do! I’m sorry!” 
“You don't have to apologize to us,” Elias reminds you, motioning behind you. “He needs you, he's been needing you and I don't - he can't keep doing this to himself. If he's not at practice or a game he's drunk off his ass and even then he can't stop fucking talking about you. God, Y/N, do something and fix this.” 
You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I'll try,” you whisper. “Thank you for bringing him here.” 
The two bid you goodbye, leaving you alone with Matthew for the first time in months. 
“Hi Matty,” you say gently as you find your back to the living room. You brush your fingertips against his forehead, pushing his hair back. His eyes flutter open, adoration and sadness practically shining through his gaze. 
He reaches for you, making grabby hands until you sit beside him, maneuvering the two of you so that his head was in your lap. He hums contentedly as you run your fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp lightly. 
“I saw your Instagram post,” he says quietly. “With you and the ice cream? I love that place, it reminded me of when I took you when you first moved to Calgary.” You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips as he rambles. “I cried when I saw it. I cry a lot lately.” Your chest aches. “I thought it would be easier by now. I thought it wouldn't hurt as much but -” he cuts himself off. Neither of you speak for a few minutes, sitting in silence as the thoughts whirl around your head. 
“Y/N/N?” The use of your nickname has you humming questioningly. He hadn't called you that in nearly a year. Whatever it is you thought he might say, nothing could have prepared you for the next words out of his mouth. 
“Why don't you love me?” He doesn't sound sad, but his tone tells you he's given up, and you can feel your heart shatter. You stay silent, unsure of whether or not he even wants you to answer. You know it was the right decision when he keeps talking. “Like, why him? Why not me? I love you, did you know that? You know that. I told you, right? You're so pretty Y/N/N, did you know? And you're funny. So funny. And my friends like you, my friends never liked girls I brought around before you moved to Calgary. I didn't like them either - isn't that weird? I don't know why I even bothered. It was always you. Even when we were kids.” 
You freeze your movements at that, holding your breath and waiting to see what he says next. 
“I mean, I didn't like, know that, yet,” he continues, words slurring slightly. “I always just thought that like, if you asked, I guess, I don't know. But it's always been you. But you kept picking him and I just wanna know why I wasn't enough for you, you know? Elias keeps telling me I’m being dumb and shouldn't be mean to myself or whatever but like, you're it for me, and I just want you to love me like you love him.”
“Matty…” you start, but you're interrupted by a squeaky hic from Matt. You stare at each other for a moment, before the two of you burst into giggles. 
“I have the hiccups,” Matty snickers, one hand coming up to grab yours. He intertwines your fingers together, squeezing as your laughter dies down. “God, I love you. You probably don't wanna hear that huh? Well, I missed you. So much.” 
“I missed you too Matty,” you lean down to whisper the words against his forehead, kissing the spot gently. “I wish you would've let me explain.” 
“Why?” He asks, scrunching his nose. “You love him don't you? I promised to help you and I-” his tone falters for the first time since he got to your place, and he pulls his hand away from yours. “I did what I promised and I thought - I thought maybe when you saw that I loved you like you wanted him to that maybe you'd realize. I thought maybe if I didn't tell you about Autumn you'd finally see that it was me that loved you this whole time. But then you just, you left when you found out and I - I’m sorry, Y/N. I should have never kept it from you. But it's always been him for you right?” 
“Not always,” you say quietly. “Not since last year.” 
Matt pulls away from you, staggering for a moment from dizziness as he stands up too quickly. 
“You can't say that!” he cries desperately, tugging at his hair. “You can't say that to me when you're - when Brady - you and him -” 
“Me and him, what, Matty?” you stand up as you ask, taking a step towards him and grabbing his collar to make him look at you. “Me and Brady, Matt, we’re not - I didn't mean for this to happen.”
“I know,” Matt murmurs, eyes flashing to your lips before he squeezes them shut. “I didn't mean for it to happen either.” 
“He's still my best friend.” Matthew’s eyes fly open at the statement. 
“Wha-what do you mean?” His voice is shaky and uncertain, but there's an unmistakable hint of hope. “Last week - at - at the game?” 
You open your mouth to reply, finally say what you've been meaning to for so long and - Matt sways where he stands, his hand flying to cover his mouth as he turns on his heel and runs. You follow him quickly into the bathroom as he falls to his knees in front of the toilet just in time to retch out the contents of his stomach. 
You rub his back gently, murmuring sweet things in his ear when his stomach has finally stopped heaving. He coughs a few times before slumping over to the side, head lolling back weakly. You clean him up as much as you can and flush, attempting to help him up. You struggle slightly as his 6’2 frame slumps against you. 
“Matty, you gotta help me out here,” you nudge him gently, “I can't carry you, bubs, c’mon, stand up okay?” 
He mumbles something about how tired he is, but still stands up as straight as he can. With Matt’s arm around your shoulders, you manage to get him to your bed, letting him slip out of your grasp as he collapses on your bed. You turn to leave the room but a soft groan from your bed stops you. 
“Please don't go,” Matt whines softly, grabbing your hand, eyes shut as he lies still over the sheets. “Please.” 
“I won't,” you brush his hair away from his forehead affectionately. “I just have to go turn off the lights and get you some water okay?” He hums in acknowledgement and reluctantly drops your hand. You turn off all the lights in your apartment as quickly as you can, grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen and a bottle of ibuprofen before going back to your room. 
“See?” you said as you placed the water and pills down on the bedside table. “Not even two minutes.” Matty grumbles “Still too long” under his breath and you snort in amusement. You pull his arm so that he's sitting up on the bed, kneeling in front of him. His eyes flutter open, blurry for a moment before focusing on you. A dopey smile spreads on his face as he watches you take off his shoes and socks. 
“C’mon, arms up,” you instruct, rolling your eyes when he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you. “Matt, you have to go to bed, arms up.” He sighs and relents, letting you change him out of his clothes without any more suggestive looks. You manage to get him into a pair of sweats and t-shirt he’d left months ago. 
“Is this mine?” he asks tiredly, smiling softly when you nod. “Thanks for keeping it.” 
“I don't steal your clothes just for the fun of it you know, I actually wear them?” you tease, pushing his shoulder lightly. He lets himself fall backwards when you do that, sighing as he pulls the sheets over him. 
“You'll stay, right?” he whispers into the dark room after a moment. “Even if you kick me out in the morning, and Brady beats me up again, right now just, please don't leave me again.” 
“I’m right here, Matty,” you reassure him, scratching lightly at his scalp. “I promise I'm not going anywhere.” 
“Y/N/N?” 
“Matt, what part of you need to go to sleep don't you understand?” 
“I know lemme just -” he rolls over to his side to face you, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand. He stares at you for a few moments, blinking slowly to try and fight the exhaustion. “I'm sorry for fucking everything up.” Before you get a chance to respond, Matt is out cold. 
-
When your eyes flutter open a few hours later, Matt is still dead asleep. It's times like these you're thankful for your body being used to waking up semi-early. You figured while Matt sleeps his hangover away you could make him breakfast, and maybe actually have a long overdue talk. 
You're flipping the last piece of french toast when you feel eyes on you. You turn to see Matt standing awkwardly in the entrance to the kitchen. He seems hesitant, closed off, and you notice he’s wearing his clothes from the night before. 
“Hey, good morning,” you smile gently at him, “I was just making some -” 
“I should go.” The words are abrupt, and they feel more like a knife to the gut than a slap to the face. “I'm sorry about last night, it won't happen again.” 
With that he's turning towards the door but really - you've had enough. 
“Sit. The fuck. Down.” 
He spins around quickly, eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown. “I really shouldn't be he-” 
“No!” you shout angrily, ignoring Matt’s taken-aback expression. You transfer the last piece of french toast to the place and turn off the stove, taking a deep breath. “Do you remember anything about last night?” you ask quietly. 
“Not much, bits and pieces.” 
“Well you're not walking away from me again,” you hiss, pointing at the dining room table. It’s already set, the only thing missing being the plates of french toast and eggs in your hands. “Sit.” 
Surprisingly, Matt does, watching you carefully as you set the plates down and sit. 
“Why didn't you tell me about Autumn?” you ask slowly, watching as he tenses, sitting up straight. “Tell me the truth.” 
He's silent for a moment, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to get the words out. “I was sick of seeing him hurt you,” he finally admits. “I watched him hurt you for so long, Y/N, I held you while you cried and I - I never want to be the one to make you feel like that.” 
“It hurt more when Brady said you knew.” Matt grips the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turn white. “And then you said that you loved me and - we’d spent so long trying to get me to tell Brady how I felt that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what else to do except walk away.” 
“I know,” he says quietly. “I'm sorry.” 
“I know,” you repeat. 
Matthew clears his throat, eyes focusing in his lap as he says his next words. “Living without you is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life. And I know it’s my fault. It’s all my fault. And I’m sorry.” A tear slips down his cheek and you hesitate for a moment, before reaching out and brushing it away with your thumb. You tilt his head towards you, taking in the defeated expression on his face. He keeps talking. “I should have - I shouldn't have told him for you, I shouldn't have told you that I loved you and I - god, Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry for everything.” 
“You didn't let me explain last week either,” you remind him.
“I know,” he says, “He just - he said -”
“I know what he said,” you cut him off, “Matt, when you saw me and Brady in December-” 
“I really don't wanna hear about you and Brady’s-” 
“Shut up, Matt!” You know you're probably being too harsh on him, but you're so incredibly tired of feeling like there's something - someone - missing, and you need his stubborn ass to just listen to you. “Brady and I are not together.” Matt’s mouth drops open, before he frowns. You know what he's going to say and you speak before he can. 
“I didn't just fuck him just because Matt, we were - we were testing the waters, okay?” You pause for a moment to try and discern his reaction. When he says nothing, you take a deep breath and say what you've been meaning to for too long. “It didn't work, Matt. Brady is my best friend but, he's not it for me.” 
Matt’s eyes are wide, cheeks reddening with every passing second. He grabs a piece of toast and shoves half the thing in his mouth. He chews for a moment, swallows, and then clears his throat. 
“He's...not it for you?” You shake your head. 
“And…?” 
You laugh, reaching for his hand. “And you are, Matty. It just, it took me a little longer than it should have to figure it out.” 
Matt seems frozen in place, unsure of what his next move should be. Instead of speaking he wolfs down the rest of the toast. 
“So you mean to tell me,” he stands, pacing in front of you, “that Brady was fucking with me?” 
“Of course he was fucking with you,” you said exasperatedly. “It’s Brady. He's a dumbass though so he fucked with you over something that was causing you real pain. I - I was causing you real pain. And myself. And I’m sorry.” 
Matt freezes, turning on his heel to face you. 
“Say it,” he says, reaching a hand out to you.
A grin spreads across your face as you take it, letting him pull you up until you were standing chest to chest with him. He looks down at you with bright, hopefully blue eyes. He's already leaning down to meet your mouth with his when you say it. 
“I love you too, Matty.”
fin (sort of)
365 notes · View notes
rowyn-writes · 4 years ago
Text
Funny Business
Warnings: Angst, fluff, language
Pairings: Gabriel x Winchester!Reader
Characters: Gabriel, Dean, Sam, Castiel, Rowena, Jack (mentioned only)
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: You’re Dean’s daughter, and you’re all getting ready to go to apocalypse world to rescue Jack, your best friend. When Gabriel sees that you’re upset about Jack’s absence, he tries to cheer you up and confesses that he likes you.
Requested by @daisyelll​
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You missed your best friend.
It felt like Jack had been in apocalypse world for centuries. Of course you missed you grandmother, Mary, but you weren't really that close with her.
Yeah, Dean Winchester was you father. He had you at a young age, 22, to be exact. Your 'mother,' wasn't really ready to be a mom yet, so she had given you to Dean in hopes he would be a good father to you. And he was.
Dean didn't want you to grow up the way he did, so he never took you traveling. Most of the times, you would stay at Bobby's house, but your dad called to check in every night and to say 'I love you,' before you would fall asleep. Whenever he was in between hunts, he would always come see you and do a 'Daddy-daughter date,' where he would take you to the movies and go out to eat.
When Sam was stuck in the Cage with Lucifer, Dean came and got you, taking you to live with him, Lisa and Ben. You loved your little dysfunctional family. Lisa was a good female influence in your life, seeing as how your own walked out on you. That's why you were devastated when Castiel wiped Ben and Lisa's memories of the Winchester's.
But that all happened when you were a kid. Now, your 21, and desperately trying to find a way to bring your best friend back from apocalypse world.
You had never connected with someone like you connected with Jack. He was like your brother, and you'd kill to protect him.
"Where is the Witchy Winchester?" A Scottish voice filled the air. That was a nickname that Rowena gave you. A few years ago, you had dabbled a bit in magic, and ever since, she had been adamant on training you.
"Rowena!" You said happily, hugging the woman.
"Y/n Winchester." She smiled as she looked at you with sad eyes. "How are you, deary?"
"I'm powering through." You assured her. "I'm just ready to get my family home." Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.
"We'll get them back, sweetheart." He kissed the top of your head.
"It would be a lot faster if this dumbass, impotent archangel would grow a pair and lend some grace!" You growled loudly enough for Gabriel to hear from wherever he was in the bunker.
"Oh whatever, Baby Winchester! You try being tortured by a Prince of Hell and see how you feel." He called back.
"I was." You deadpanned. "And do you see me acting like a little bitch? No." Sam and Dean snickered at your comment.
"Alrighty then," Rowena said before your argument could continue. "Let's get started." She set down a large bowl on the table, along with a bunch of other ingredients. "Fruit from the tree of life." You began gathering your things, such as clothes, non perishable foods, water, and of course, weapons. You and your father had argued earlier on in the day about you joining them to go to apocalypse world, which ended in a screaming match that you won. You definitely got your temper from you father. "Blood of a most holy man." Sam tossed over a pack of glow sticks that you put in the bag. "And ah. . ." Rowena reached up and plucked a hair out of Dean's head.
"Ow!" He complained, rubbing the back of his head. You rolled your eyes as you continued to pack.
"Something from the other side." Rowena finished, adding his hair to the mix.
"Hey. How’s Gabriel." Sam asked when Cas entered the room.
"He said he needed a minute alone." He said, his voice a low rumble. "He wanted to extract his grace by himself. In private." You shivered at what the Angel told you. You did not want to imagine what he was doing to extract his grace. Your uncle and father had the same disturbed look on their face as you did. "So I left him alone in Dean’s room."
You bursted out laughing, your eyes crinkling at the edges like your dad's did. "You what? No." Dean seemed very grossed out at the thought of what Gabriel was doing in his room.
"I hate to interrupt, but I can’t be the only one to noticed the rather glaring hole in this plan." No one seemed to pay attention to the witch as you continued packing up for the trip. "We open up the rift, it gives us a day to find and save your Mom and the boy. And it’s a very big world over there, and you’re not even sure where they are, so. . . "
"She's right." Cas spoke up. "The clock may run out on us."
"Yeah. It might." Sam seemed indifferent and unconcerned. You couldn't help but feel the same way. All you wanted was your family back together. You tucked your loaded gun into the waistband of your jeans, covering it with your flannel shirt.
"Yeah, well we don’t have any better ideas." Dean shrugged.
"Mm, that’s inspirational."
"Here it is!" Gabriel exclaimed, walking in with a very dim looking vial of his grace. " The final ingredient - a fresh serving of archangel grace."
You raise your eyebrow, tilting your head to the side. "That's pathetic." You announced, earning a snort from Rowena.  "Dude, I could give more 'grace' than that, and I'm a human. You could do better." Gabriel scoffed at your words.
"That is the jet fuel of divine emissions." He proclaimed. You gave a little gag, as Dean and Sam gave him disgusted looks. "It’ll be more than enough to get the job done."
You, Rowena and Cas gave each other skeptical looks. You all knew that there was no way that was going to work.  You shook your head as Rowena added more ingredients to the spell. You strapped two katana's on your back, adjusting them so they fit comfortably.
"Ya know, we won't judge you if you chose to sit this one out, kiddo." Your dad tried to convince you to stay back once more.
"Dad." You whispered, linking your hand with his. "I want to go. You're my family, and we don't leave family behind. Never." Dean gave you a small smile as he squeezed your hand. You noticed from the corner of your eye that Gabriel was watching you with curious eyes.
Rowena called you over to her, needing assistance with casting the spell. It was a rather powerful one, meaning it might need two witches instead of one. "Ready, deary?" You nodded.
"Koth Munto Nuntox." You both bellowed, motioning your hands towards the place where the rift was supposed to open. It gleamed orange, but you could tell the light was fading. There was no way anyone was going through that rift.
"Okay, everyone ready?" Cas asked the group.
"Yeah, all right." Sam nodded.
"Let’s do this." Dean agreed.
"Let's get our family back."
As you go to step through the rift, just like you expected, it began to fizzle and lean to the side. You all tilted along with it.
"Okay, that was very, very fast." You noted. The group seemed to agree with you.
"One could even say premature." Rowena remarked, making you laugh. Gabriel seemed to be flustered by you laughing at Rowena's joke.
"Um. . . I thought it would be enough." Gabriel coughed.
"All right, great. What do we do now?"
"I think we all know what to do." You said grimly. Rowena sent you and Sam a terrified look. You gripped her hand to give her reassurance. "I don't like this as much as the next person, but we need an Archangels grace. And it seems there's only one left on this god forsaken world that can actually provide his grace."
"No." Sam shook his head.
"We need to get Lucifer."
.
. .
. . .
You had decided to stay back while Sam, Dean, and Cas went to get Lucifer. Gabriel had already offered his assistance before coming back to the bunker. You were holed up in the library, starting at old pictures and videos on your phone. All of them were of you and Jack.
You giggled as you watched a video of Jack trying ice cream for the first time. "Ah!" He exclaimed, rubbing his temples. "Is it supposed to hurt? Is this some kind of torture that humans use on each other?"
The video shook as you began to laugh. "No, silly. You just ate it too fast. It's actually really good if you slow down and savor it!"
You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you scrolled through pictures of the two of you. He was your best friend. Your brother. And it hurt like hell to be so close to getting him, but still not quite there.
"Hey, Baby Winchester!" Gabriel said happily, walking into the room. "Guess who just captured Lucif-" He cut himself off as he saw the state you were in.
You quickly wiped away your tears, exiting out of the video app on your phone. "What do you want, Gabriel?" You sniffed.
"Are you okay?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned, which shocked you. The Archangel never cared about anyone but himself.
"I-I'm fine." You nodded.
He frowned as he approached you, sitting down in one of the arm chairs. "Hey, what's with the waterworks?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, shaking your head. If you spoke, you were sure to sob. You calmed yourself before you began to speak. "I miss Jack." You confessed. "He could always make me laugh when I needed to. And right now, I really need to laugh." Your voice broke as you talked.
Gabriel's frown deepened. He knew you to be this strong warrior, this tough young woman who feared nothing and no one. And to see you so broken hurt him. He stood up, snapping his fingers as he did so. I Wanna Dance With Somebody began to play.
"Really?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at the man.
"Yes, really. Now get your ass off that chair and come dance with me. You know, many women would kill to be in your position." You glared at him, feeling skeptical. It was known that Gabriel was a huge flirt. Hell, not even two hours earlier, he was flirting with Rowena, who quickly shot him down, clearly not interested.
"If you try anything, I'll kill you faster than you can say uh-oh." Gabriel held his hands up in surrender, silently promising that he wasn't going to pull any funny business. You slowly got up off the couch and walked towards him. He extended his hand, which you hesitantly took. Gabriel spun you around, making you gasp in surprise.
"I'm quite the dancer, if you didn't know." He smirked. You still weren't in the mood to put up with his bull shit. "I'm going to make you laugh, if it's the last think I do." He promised.
"Why do you care so much if I'm unhappy. You barely know me." You mumbled as Gabriel led you around to room.
"Because, from how little I do know about you, I know that seeing you cry is a rarity. You're this badass warrior goddess that supposedly doesn't have any emotion." You were about to question him when Gabriel interrupted you. "You're a legend in the Supernatural World." He explained.
"Yeah, for being Dean Winchester's daughter." You said bitterly.
"Ah, now why is that such a bad thing?"
"Because I want to be known for the people that I've saved and the good that I do. Not for just being my dad's daughter."
"Well, trust me, sweetheart, that's not all you're known for." You looked up at Gabriel as he rocked you back and forth to the music. He clearly wasn't pleased with the fact that you were still frowning, so he picked you up off the ground and twirled you around.
You gave a giggle of excitement as he did so, earning a proud grin from Gabriel. He began hopping around the room, making you laugh harder. "There's that beautiful laugh."
"Beautiful." You scoffed. "Yeah, okay."
"Why do you find it so hard to believe that someone would use that word to describe you?"
You shrugged. "Because no one thinks of me that way."
"Now, that's not true. I'm sure many, many men and women would love to be with you." Gabriel insisted, which made you blush.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" You asked.
"Well, if I told you, I think there would be a multitude of people trying to murder me." He confessed.
You gave him a questioning look, not realizing what he was trying to tell you.
"Jeez, you Winchester's are so oblivious. I like you, Y/n. But I know if I acted on anything, you're family would murder me in a heartbeat."
You looked at him for a moment before grabbing his jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. It took him a moment to kiss you back, but when he did, you were breathless. "Then we don't tell anyone. Not yet at least."
"Ooh, a secret love. I like that sound of that, Winchester." He murmured as he kissed you again.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I can promise there will be a part two, hehe. 
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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years ago
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A Long Way From The Playground | Charlie Gillespie
Requested by @faithie-brock-gillespie01​: Can you make one where me and Charlie go out to hang out around the town and I get pinned to the wall by man who hasn’t left me alone all day (like he attacks me when Charlie just goes to the bathroom or something) and then all of a sudden Charlie comes back and saves me by pulling the guy off. They get into a small fight and he ends up growling “mine” and pointing at the guy as I pull him back and out of the place. After I pull him out and get him home. When home I patch him up (because he has a few cuts on his face) and he ends up confessing (after I ask why he did it) that he hates to see me get hurt so he saved me. We end up confessing to loving one another.*My name: y/nMy nicknames: sweetheart, sweetie, love, Princess, queen, angel, nugget (Or whatever you can think of. )*charlies nicknames: Char, King, Baby Boy, My Prince, My Prince Charming, My Love, Babe, Sweetheart, baby, love bug, sweetie, sweetheart,  my prince, baby, baby boy, sweet cakes, babe, sweetie, or even Troy (like I use it as a funny thing to mess with him, because he’s kinda like my Troy), real life Luke (because it’s again a funny thing in the relationship or like because he acts like a real life one hence the real life part), (Or whatever you can think of. )
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Reader
Warnings: angst, sexual harassment, fight,
Words: 3,426
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You’ve been friends with Charlie for ages. The first day at Kindergarten, a mean girl had pushed you off the swing during recess, and when Charlie saw this, he came up to help you. He pushed the girl off the swing she stole from you and then rushed to your side to help you up. He accompanied you to the school nurse and even stayed after the wound on your knee had been taken care of. The nurse had given both of you a lollipop and allowed you to wait in her office until recess was over. Ever since that day, you and Charlie had been inseparable. You went through life together, supporting each other’s decisions and helping out whenever the other was in trouble.  It was really hard on you when Charlie went to LA to pursue his acting career, but you supported him nonetheless. This was his dream, and as a best friend, it was your duty to let him go and pursue that dream, even if that meant leaving you in Dieppe all by yourself. Your relationship never really suffered from the distance between the two of you. There were consistent FaceTime calls and constant texts, it’s almost as though he’s not even gone. The only thing that might cause disturbance is your feelings for him. You were eighteen when you first realized that you’d much rather kiss Charlie than hug him, when his otherwise platonic touches were felt everywhere. Everywhere. But, of course, you decided not to say anything because it might just ruin what you have, and what you have is really special. In 2019, Charlie asks you to come along with him to Vancouver where he’s going to be shooting Julie and The Phantoms, a Kenny Ortega project. You, being a big fan of the director and Charlie, decide to come along. You deserve a little break, and you’ve missed Charlie too much to pass up this opportunity. “Bubbaaaaa!” you shriek as you run up to him in the grand hallway of Vancouver International Airport, leaving your luggage somewhere along the way. He’s holding out his arms, ready to catch you as you jump up and into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist, clutching onto him like a koala bear. Passengers leaving or arriving give you weird looks, annoyed at the disturbance in their day, but you don’t care. It’s been months since you’d last seen this man, and you’re way too excited to  be in his arms again. “Hey Nugget,” he mumbles in your hair, inhaling the fresh scent of  peonies, his most favorite. “Gosh, I missed ya.” He loosens his arms a little to put you back on your feet, but you don’t want to let go yet. A chuckle vibrates through his chest and travels all the way through yours. “I missed you too, Bubba,” you say back and then let go of him. You just needed a few more seconds in his arms. After grabbing your luggage where you left it, he takes you to the apartment he’s sharing with one of his cast mates, Owen, who’s sitting on the sofa as you arrive. The tall blonde man gets up and makes his way over to you with a wide smile on his face. “Hi!” he greets, opening his arms to give you a welcome hug. “I’m Owen.” “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you,” you say back when the two of you pull away. “I’m gonna show Y/N to their room and then we can maybe get some lunch together?” Charlie suggests to the both of you. After exchanging a glance, you and Owen nod agreeingly. Charlie then excitedly grabs your hand and leads you towards one of the rooms. “This is my room, but you can sleep here and I’ll sleep on the couch,” he explains softly. Your head snaps up at this, wondering if he’s serious about his suggestion of sleeping on the couch. He’s looking at you expectantly. He is serious about sleeping on the couch. “Dude… We used to sleep in the same bed during our sleepovers in Dieppe all the time. Just sleep in this bed with me, alright?” You almost sound angry at the audacity of him suggesting doing otherwise.  “Right, yeah! Of course,” he utters, his eyes lighting up, “I just-- didn’t want to force you to sleep in the same bed in case things… changed…” You let out an airy laugh, shaking your head in disbelief whilst throwing your luggage onto the bed with a dull thud. “Nothing could ever change things between us, Char,” you mutter, but in your mind know at least one reason that could change between you. You hear him chuckle as you grab an entirely new outfit from your suitcase, wanting to change out of your disgusting airplane clothes. “Can I take a quick shower before we go to lunch?” you ask, and he simply nods his head and guides you out of the bedroom and to the shared bathroom. While you shower, you think of all the possible ways this week could go. You want to tell Charlie how you truly feel. You can’t just be friends with him anymore. It’s been three years since you figured it out. You’ve spent three years trying not to scream whenever his fingers left a burning trail on your skin or when his glances made you tingle everywhere. But now you’re done trying to pretend nothing’s going on. You’re done pretending not kissing him isn’t killing you. Though the multiple possible scenarios make for a bad movie, you’re willing to at least try and see what he’s going to say or do. This could go either way. Little do you know Charlie’s having the exact same thoughts, only he’s saying them out loud to Owen, one room over. “You gotta tell them, man. There’s no way you’re gonna be able to hold out much longer,” says Owen to his distressed friend, “This is making you crazy.” Charlie doesn’t disagree. It is making him crazy. Maybe this week might give him some clarity as to what to do about this entire situation. Once you’re ready, the three of you head out into Vancouver to grab some lunch. While Charlie and Owen bicker about which restaurant would be best to take you to, you give yourself the opportunity to look around, rewarding your eyes with the beauty that is West End Vancouver. The difference between Dieppe and Vancouver is fascinating, to say the least. It’s funny to you because wherever you go or turn in Dieppe, there’s a natural flair to the streets, while everything in Vancouver is made of brick. Or at least this street is. “What about sushi, Y/N?” Owen asks you, making you snap out of your thoughts. “Ooh! I love me some sushi!” you reply, your mouth already salivating at the thought alone. “Told ya, Char,” he says to Charlie, “Who’s really their best friend, huh?” Charlie playfully punches the blondie in the shoulder, inducing a laugh from him. “All right, kids, where’s this sushi place? I am hella hungry!” you exclaim, interrupting their banter. They both point to a building on your right. You’re now looking at a townhouse, all brown bricks and teal framework around the windows and balconies at the top, whilst the ground floor has a black finish and black canopy with the sushi bar’s logo on it in big, white lettering. Before you can say anything else, the two have pulled you inside already, finding a spot near the back. Charlie slides into the booth next to you while Owen takes the opposite side. The waiter’s quick on his feet and brings you a menu and asks what you want to drink straight away. All three of you order some sodas, and then the waiter leaves you to choose. While you’re scanning the menu for something you like, you can feel a pair of eyes burning your skin. You look up for a moment, locking eyes with a guy that doesn’t look that much older than you. Awkwardly, you shoot him a smile before turning back to the menu. You look up again every now and then because you want to check if he’s still looking, and every time, he is. By the third time, he shoots you this disgusting smirk that sends physical shivers down your spine, shaking your entire body from head to toe. “You okay?” Charlie asks, feeling you shiver. “Yeah, just got the chills,” you reply, not wanting to make this a dramatic thing. It’s just a man staring at you creepily. Nothing you haven’t experienced yet. That’s what you get for wearing such extravagant clothes. “I’m ready to order, what about you guys?” you change the subject quickly, more for yourself than anyone else. You need to focus on other things so as to not feel too uncomfortable.  The three of you order your food, and you start to ask the boys some questions about their new project together, and you even ask Owen about his show Knight Squad. You did watch that with your younger siblings when it ran on Nickelodeon. All of it helps keep you occupied and not at all thinking about the creepy man that’s still there. “I gotta go in for a fitting, but I’ll see you guys at the apartment later, okay?” Owen says after lunch, scooting out of the booth. “Can you cover my part of the bill, Char? I’ll pay you back later.” The boy next to you simply nods his head. “Kay, thanks. See you later, Y/N,” he offers you a wave before leaving the joint and leaving you and Charlie by yourself. “Can we go?” you ask when you notice Creepy Guy again. “Yeah, sure,” Charlie replies and scoots out of the booth. “Are you okay? You’ve been fidgety ever since we got here…” Of course he’d notice your change of demeanor. The Creepy Guy’s eyes on you at all times has made you quite nervous. “Oh, no, yeah… I’m fine,” you try to smile as convincingly as possible. “I gotta go to the toilet real quick, I’ll be right back, okay?” You slowly nod your head, unsure if it’s such a good plan to leave you by yourself with Creepy Guy just a few feet away.  At first, you can keep your nerves at bay by pulling your jacket on and tugging at your shirt to make sure nothing’s on show. Then, you decide to take your phone out and aimlessly scroll through social media. It’s not like you’re actually picking things up from the things people posted since you’re trying to listen if there are any feet approaching. Your ears betray you today as there’s a tap on your shoulder. Hoping and praying it’s Charlie, you slowly turn around, only to find Creepy Guy in front of you with that disturbing smirk on his face. Chills run down your spine again as your thumb blindly finds its way to your contacts in your phone. You know Charlie’s name is at the very top of your recent calls, ready to be pressed in case of emergencies. “Hello, Gorgeous,” Creepy Guy says, “Noticed your two boy toys left you all by yourself, thought you could use some company.” He’s shuffling closer and closer, his breath hot and foul on your lips as you’re backing  away until you feel the wall behind you. You’re frantically looking around for someone to notice and help you. A waitress behind the counter has a phone pressed to her ear, and you’re praying she’s calling the police.  “What’s wrong, Angel Face? Are you n--” he’s cut off and pulled away from you all of a sudden. You have to blink your eyes a couple of times before you could properly see again. The whole situation made you black out for a couple of seconds. But now, your eyes land on Charlie, punching Creepy Guy in the face and getting hit a few times in return. For a moment, you’re frozen to the floor. Firstly because seeing Charlie fuming and punching a guy is kind of hot, and secondly because you’ve got no clue what to do. “Charlie,” you finally manage to bring out and place a hand on his shoulder. He turns his head at you, dark and angry eyes softening at the sight of your scared expression. “Let’s go,” you whisper, and grab his hand. “Hey, are you okay?” the waitress asks when you pass her, “I just called the cops, they’re gonna be here soon.” You glance at Charlie, his face all beaten up and bloody from the impact of Creepy Guy’s fist. “They’re gonna want you to make a statement.” “Fine,” you sigh. You wished you could forget about this whole thing quickly, but the girl just wants to help. “Could I get your first aid kit to take care of him first though?” You point at your best friend’s face, and the girl nods her head. “You can do it in here,” she says, beckoning you to follow. She hands you the small box and then leaves the two of you alone as though she knows you need some privacy. You sit Charlie down on the chair and perch yourself on the table next to it whilst going through the first aid kit. It’s silent for a while as you’re cleaning up the cuts on his forehead and cheeks. “Why’d you do that, Charlie?” you mutter, frustrated that his hot-headedness got him into this mess. He hisses as the disinfecting product you’re dabbing on his wounds starts stinging. “I hate seeing you get hurt, Nugget. Seeing that man practically groping you sickened me to my stomach. It hurt me as much as it hurt you, Y/N,” he exhales sharply and grabs your wrist to stop you from undeliberately hurting him some more. “Babe, I need to clean out these wounds,” you grumble, trying to wriggle your hand loose. “I’m fine, Y/N. They’ll heal,” he tells you, though you know those wounds are hurting. “No, Char. They’ll infect if I don’t clean them out properly,” you cup his face on one side, softly rubbing your thumb against his cheek. “You’re gonna have to grin and bear it, baby. Let me take care of you, okay?” His eyes soften as does the grip on your wrist. You continue cleaning up the wounds in silence, only Charlie’s soft hissing filling up your ears. “There you go,” you whisper when you’re finally done, “You’re as good as new.” Charlie offers you a thankful smile, which you return quickly before getting off the table to throw the used gauze into the bin in the corner of the room. When you turn around to return to the table, Charlie’s right behind you, making you jump out of your skin as you didn’t expect him to be this close. “Jeez, Bubba, I didn’t hear you sneak up,” you say in a hushed voice while clutching your heart. He’s staring down at you, his twinkling eyes flicking from yours to your lips and back. “What?” you ask softly. Your brain is going a mile a minute and your heart is pounding out of your chest. Besides hugging him, it’s been a while since you’ve been this close to him. You’d almost forgotten what that did to you. “I just--” he visibly swallows a lump, and then a smile plays at his lips, “Remember that first day we met? When Jade pushed you off that swing?” Though you’re confused as to why he’d bring that up, you can’t help but smile. “I still have a scar on my knee from that fall,” you reply, remembering the day clearly. “I thought you were super sweet to stand up for me. I even found it a little funny when you pushed Jade off the swing in return.” A chuckle escapes from him. “Yeah, Miss Edwards didn’t find it quite as funny,” Charlie adds. “But I knew from that day on that you were gonna be special to me, Y/N. Gossipping at the nurse’s office about who we liked and didn’t like, our mutual love for coca cola lollipops and The Rugrats.... I just knew I never wanted to be friends with anyone else in my life.” Your lips turn up into a tender smile at his sweet words. “But things have changed, haven’t they?” Your smile disappears at this. Where is this going?  “I’ve been trying to find the right words to say this, but I could never come up with anything that could even come close to how I’m feeling…” he lets out a shaky breath, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of help. “Charlie… What are you getting at?” you ask, the fear taking over your voice with a quiver. “I might totally ruin our friendship with this, but I have to tell you because it’s driving me crazy…” Your eyebrows furrow, worry growing within you. “Charlie, stop babbling and just tell me what you wanna say! This is kinda nerve-wracking!” you raise your voice a little as a nervous chuckle breaks up the words ever so slightly. “Y/N,” he scoffs, “I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen, and no, I didn’t get that from a One Direction song, though I’m pretty sure that one would’ve been accurate to sing to you right now. So, I’m just gonna quote that…” Your breath hitches in your throat at his confession. The thing you’ve been so afraid of for years is something that’s been bothering him too. At the exact same time. “Long before we both thought the same thing,” he continues, still in his normal speaking voice until the musician in him comes up. “To be loved or to be in love. And all I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, oh. I wanna love like you made me feel… When we were eighteen…” He stops singing and looks at you for any sign of reciprocation. You’re frozen to the floor in absolute shock. This is what you’ve been dreaming about for so long and now that it’s finally here, you’re not even saying anything. “Y/N? I-- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve just kept these feelings to myself. I totally ruined everything now, didn’t I? I--let’s just forget about this whole thing, yeah? Just wake up tomorrow as if nothing ever happened. It’s okay, I--” You finally spring into action. But instead of saying anything, you simply grab him by his shirt and pull him into you, pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss. He’s startled at first, but quickly melts into your lips and lets his hands find their way to your face. “I’ve been waiting for three years, scared you didn’t feel the same…” you whisper as you pull back, finally having found the words. “We’re both so stupid, Bubba.” He chuckles softly before kissing you again. “We literally could’ve been doing this for three whole years!” you exclaim, shaking your head in disbelief. “Yes, Princess, I know. Now, shut up and kiss me, we’ve got three years of this to catch up on.” A smile tugs at your lips as he removes the remaining space between your lips again. You’re a little too caught up into the kiss, you don’t even notice the knock on the door. “Guys, the--” you break apart, wide eyes staring at the door where the waitress stands with a sheepish smile. “Sorry… The cops are here,” she throws her thumb backwards. “Ugh, right…” you groan, but Charlie takes your hand and leads you out into the sushi bar again. During your statement, he stays with you at all times, holding your hand and watching you closely with a sad smile on his face. He hates the fact you have to go through all of that again as if you didn’t go through enough already. “That’s all we need from you, miss Y/L/N,” the officer says after a while. “You’ll hear from us soon. You can go home now. As for you, mister Gillespie, I’d do something about that anger of yours.” Charlie curtly nods his head before taking you out of the restaurant. The two of you head back home, and once there, you immediately head into the bedroom. There’s a lot of catching up to do from those three lost years. Your friendship has come a long way from the playground.
Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay​ @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​ @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug​ @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​ @kcd15​
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jaefluenza · 4 years ago
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My Fate Blooms | J.Jaehyun
“We can’t happen..”
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Genre: royal!au, angst, fluff
Pairing: fisherman!jaehyun x princess!reader
Word count: 14,4k words (oop- and that’s a long ass ride)
Summary: You never imagine meeting your own prince charming, but somehow, you did. He’s not a royal, nor a conglomerate, but you found yourself falling deeper into him. But of course, nothing works easily for you, the next queen of the northern kingdom.
playlist; Give You My Heart - IU; I Miss You - Soyou; Sweet Night - V; Sunny days, Summer nights - Sam Kim; Like You - So Soobin, SOHEE; Let Us Go - Crush; But It’s Destiny - 10cm, etc.
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“How much do I have to tell you, mother? I don’t want to marry that guy!” You throw away your royal necklace, pissed off by the routine of your mom always lecturing about how to be a graceful soon-to-be-married princess.
“He’s not just a guy. Watch your mouth, he’s the rightful future king of the southern nation.” Your mom put her hands on her waist, utterly shocked by how you behaved tonight. “Oh, you told me that as if I’m so clueless about it! As stubborn as it might sounds, mother, I don’t care!”
gasp! “How dare you speak like that to me.” She said coldly. How dare you slap your own daughter like that?
“Now, listen. Want it or not, you’re gonna marry the prince. I am doing this only to save the kingdom, the place where you get to enjoy every royalty and comfort even in your sleep. So, bare with it, princess. Do I have to remind you that every single day?” The queen raised her voice before leaving your room, stomping the floor with anger.
You let yourself fall, leaning your arms on the edge of your queen-sized bed. “This is not what I wanted.” You wipe your tears harshly, trying not to look weak even though no one could see your worse condition right now. “I just don’t want to marry an evil guy who will torture me in his dungeon, what is so wrong about that?”
The next day, you prepare your mental state that you have to wear a fake smile again as usual for the rest of the day. It’s an engagement dinner between two kingdoms, where you’d meet the person you don’t want to marry. You hate formal dinners and meetings like this, it’s boring and it’s just not you. You prefer eating alone in your room with your cats, or maybe enjoying dinner at the maid’s kitchen with Olly, your personal maid, rather than joining dinner with people you don’t even know. They aren’t even interested to know you, as what they care about is only about the kingdom and politics.
You feel one of your cats scratches your leg, making you wince in pain. “Shirley, as much as I want to play with you, I want to leave this goddamn room too. I know you’re bored, please hold on for a few minutes before I-” You turn your head up at a nudge in your left arm. “Are you crazy? Why are you talking to the floor?” Prince Han glares at you as if you’re a madwoman.
You rolled your eyes, “I’m talking to my cat. I’m glad that I’m not the only person here who thinks that this whole thing is boring.”
“So talking about me and the marriage is boring huh? I think you’re too idiot to realize that thousands of princesses of nations would kill to marry me.” Prince Han lifts his head proudly, making you cringe and you were glad he lifts his head high enough that he probably won’t see you making a face.
“Then, maybe you should marry those stupid blind princesses.” You rolled your eyes over and over again before you stand up and excuse yourself in front of all the higher-ups and leave the grand meeting room. Prince Han was not untrue at all. He has the look enough for the girls to melt by his graceful presence, and that was one of the reasons why your mother was so elated to choose him as the marriage candidate. But even though you know the girls would kill to be in your position, you’re sure that they would think twice after knowing what is the prince like in real life.
You got lost in your deep thoughts before someone interrupted you by taking hold of your arm. “Wait, princess.” You sigh when you heard the familiar voice, wondering why would he follow you out of the room. “What?” You turned at him, hands on your waist, and waiting for him to say what’s on his mind.
“I know that you despise this marriage, and as much as you do, I do too. But if this thing works we’ll get so many benefits. Just bear with it and be a good princess for once.” He looks down on your eyes, threatening them intensely as if there are fire coming from his eyes. “The benefit is for you, not me. Why would I trap myself in a relationship that I don’t wish to be in?”
He gets back to his former position, standing highly like a crown prince should be. “Oh, Y/n. I really hate to say this, but you don’t want me to take over, right? Once I take over the whole situation, you’re doomed. For now, I’ll stay put. So don’t get on my nerves, or I won’t take it well.” You stutter upon hearing the threat he sent you. This is what you hate about him, and the whole arranged marriage thingy. He’s a crude and abusive person. He knows how to put pressure on someone, especially you. You blinked in fear before he takes your silence as a yes and walks away.
“Just bear with it? Now he sounds like my mom as well.” You rant.
You put on your bathrobe, preparing for a warm bath after a rough day. “Finally, my lone time.” You dip your leg on the tub, feeling the warmth slowly surfacing your leg before sitting your whole body with a sigh in relief. “So warm.” Raised in the northern kingdom, you’re used to the coldness of the nation. Snow falls every two months and spring comes only when it wants to. You wear warm fluffy coats almost every day, as if the coldness of the people around you was never enough. You wonder if there’s a place meant for you to live in. You wonder if there is somebody out there who actually care for you, as a human and not a princess.
“This is crazy, this is pure madness.” You claimed to yourself as you start thinking of something crazy. An escape? A runaway? Sounds like life. Your marriage is coming in two weeks, you definitely have enough time to leave the cold palace and free yourself to smell the flowers, the life outside the dungeon you called home. And as if your thoughts weren’t crazy enough, now you start to think of the way to start the important mission to save yourself. 
If there is not any charming prince who can save you, then you can save yourself, you thought.
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“Ella, not now. I need to do some spying activities tonight. I can’t rub your neck at the moment.” You whine when your cat keeps following you around while letting out some meowing sounds which echoed around the hallway walls.
Ella walked away as if she understood your rejection to play with her. You shake your head as you witness her walking sassily with a seemingly visible scoff. “Dude, even my cats are breaking the rules. I’m a proud cat mom.”
You continue to spy around the palace, looking for some information that may help you leave the palace and all the terrifying things in it. You were walking around the hallway towards the palace kitchen when you heard the cooks and some assistants gossiping. You use the echoes of the grand wall of the hallway to catch what they are talking about.
“I heard the queen will be attending a party held in the southern nation. Of course, the princess will be forced to attend too. I pity her, most of her life spent on this kingdom, with no freedom or chance to find her own happiness. She never eats well like she’s supposed to in her age, because of her royalty image diet.”
You couldn’t hold your tears not to come when you heard how much the palace workers care for you. You pity yourself too, after all, the painful truth is instead of your mother, the only people unrelated to you were the only people who care.
So, the queen will bring you to the southern kingdom? That will be good timing! All you need to do is just pulling a good act in front of your mother so she might believe that you’ll come along with her, just in a different little carriage. And you officially do the plan.
“Mother, what kind of party would they hold there? I think I’m getting excited.”
Your mother gives you a look. “Why are you excited?” You tried to avoid looking so awkward like you have something to do which is actually true. “Oh! Are you finally getting closer to him?”
You sighed in relief mentally, before nodding excitedly at your mother. “Yeah! I hang out with Prince Han the last time he visited us. He is actually a funny person.” Duh.
“Okay, that’s a good thing! Thank god you finally make me happy!” Haven’t I?
“Well, they will be holding a garden party since it’s summer in the southern nation. I’ll prepare a beautiful summer dress for you, oh, I’ll have to make sure that my daughter, the fiancé of the prince, will be the most beautiful girl at the party!” Okay, this is great.
The party night comes, and the crazy idea of escaping your royal prison has been a big burden on both of your shoulders. You put an exciting act in front of your mothers and also other people. You can’t even feel your face after all the bold makeup they put on your face. The big luxurious dress tightly hugging your body makes you hard to breathe, you wonder if it will be able for you to run in this kind of dress. After all the servants leave your room, you go to speak to your cats.
“Sergei, my royal king. Please take care of the others while I’m gone. And you, Shirley, my royal queen. You should not wander off the palace because you will get hurt. Wait, I’m the one who’s gonna do that. Alright, whatever. Oh, and my baby princess, Ella. You’re the cutest baby of all the demons we got here. You can’t just come to people and ask for belly rubs cause... I’m the only one who can do that to you. If I’m able to come back, I’ll give you thousands of belly rubs and treats!”
All of the royal cats give you their unamused look as if they know that you won’t be able to escape this prison. “You guys think so too? Thought that I couldn’t make it out of here? At least, let me try.”
Your mother knocked on your door before entering the room. You quickly fix your gown and your hair, as if you are ready to leave for the party. “Hey, mother.” She smiled sweetly upon seeing your graceful appearance. “The prince will absolutely love you. Let him brag about his wonderful fiancé to the world tonight.”
“Well, there’s this thing that I would like to request for tonight, mother...” You started. “What is it? Tell me, honey.”
“Since I will be the most beautiful woman in that party, I want Prince Han to pick my hand himself as soon as I step out of the carriage. Which means, that I have to be in a different carriage from you. Can I ride in the diamond one, tonight?” You asked her nicely. Please say yes...
“That’s a great idea. Yeah, you should ride in a different carriage from me. Maybe you won’t be able to get back at the same time as me, right? You got to have a blast tonight! Sure, I’ll tell them to prepare the diamond carriage. My sweet daughter, I’m so proud of you!” She holds your chin gently, praising you for your wonderful idea. Little did she knows...
So you ended up in the diamond carriage alone, waiting anxiously for the right time to kick your horseman away. You glance over the window, looking at how far you’ve let the northern kingdom. Will you be ready for this? Will you be ready for whatever happens if you leave the palace, and the royal engagement? Are you ready for a new chapter in your life? Will you be happy? You don’t know, but something inside your heart says that it’ll worth for every single psychological torture you received in the palace. You take a deep sigh before opening the front door to the footman sitting behind the horses.
“Where are we now?” You whisper to the footman. “We’re about to reach the south side. In fifteen minutes, we’ll be able to spot the southern sea.” Great, we’re getting further from the kingdom.
“I’m so sorry, but... goodbye.” The footman gives you a disoriented look before losing his balance following your hard kick on his ass. He screamed loudly as he fell into the ground, rolling asides before losing his consciousness.
“That was a great ass-kick.” You praised yourself before taking over the handle ungainly. You stare at the horses in front of you with tactless eyes, realizing something. “I may have learned how to ride a horse, but now... I have four horses to handle?! Oh shit!” You notice the horses start to move like they’re mad. There was when you realized something, you don’t have any control over those carriage horses, and now they have no signal or tasks to do, and now they’re mad. The carriage starts to wobble, there’s no indication that it’s slowing down, even though the road in front of you is getting rocky and uneven.
You feel the wheels start to wobble out of place and when one of the wheels hit a quite big rock, the carriage was broken off from the horses. You watched the horses run away in agony before the huge carriage toppled over into a hole and you lost your consciousness.
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You woke up with a lightheaded feeling as the warm sun rays stream right into your face. You glance around the room, this was definitely not your room. Not at the small windows across your bed, and not at how there’s a warm sunshine filling up the room. This is not the northern kingdom. So where are you?
The door opened before you know it, which makes you flinch at whoever coming into the room. “Oh, you’re awake?” Said a grown-up man with a tray of redolent food which you assumed is a bowl of eggplant and ginger chicken soup. You were left speechless, not because you don’t want to speak, but you don’t know what to ask first. There’s a lot of questions you have in your head, but you were blown away by the fine visual of this man.
“Uh... are you okay?” He asked with an awkward smile as he went closer to the bed you slept on. You blink as you stare right into his sharp eyes, and his pointy nose and his plump lips. Screw those girls who screamed about how much of an art Prince Han is like, they must have yet to see this man in their whole life before.
You watch him in awe as he puts the tray on the nightstand beside you. “Have some breakfast, you must’ve felt terrible last night.” He smiled, and oh, that smile would’ve killed thousands of women.
“Thank you very much. May I ask... where am I right now? And, what happened last night?”
He nods, and immediately sits down on the edge of the bed. “Let me introduce myself, I am Jung Jaehyun. I am a fisherman and so does my family. Last night, I was walking back home from the harbor when I saw a broken carriage in a pit of water near the northern kingdom gate. I saw a person on the edge of the hollow and that was you, so I brought you home and my family took care of you.”
You watched him as he spoke, focusing on his visual instead of listening. You were glad that someone this fine would save you last night. Sometimes, life is full of surprises. “Oh, I see. Thank you for saving my life. So, am I in the southern kingdom?”
He shakes his head, “No. Me and my family live in between the southern and northern kingdoms. Well, it’s safe to say that you’re in the middle of an unknown village. The people here live independently without a king. We keep our lives by being a fisherman or farmer and selling our yields at the market in the middle of the village.” He smiles as he explains where you are right now.
“Ah, I see. I never knew that there’s a little village between the northern and southern kingdom. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Y/n, the prince- uhm I mean, daughter of Madame Yoon from the northern kingdom.”
You raise your hand for a handshake and he immediately shakes your hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/n of the northern.” It seems like he doesn’t know anything about the northern’s ruler, which is your mother. It’s great, he doesn’t have to know that you’re a princess of the kingdom. He probably won’t be your friend if you tell him that.
“The food smells nice. I’ll dig them in now..” you smiled before grabbing the tray and taste the food. He nodded before leaving the room, saying that he needs to prepare the toils for his work.
You quickly dig the food in, shrieking in awe as if you’re tasting the best food cooked by a world-class chef in all kingdoms. “Oh my god, who the hell cook this best quality food..” You finished the bowl within ten minutes, before rubbing your belly with satisfaction. “Ah, right. I have to wash the dishes, I can’t be a troublesome in this house.”
You grab the tray and the dirty bowls as you keep them steady on your hands. You were about to open the door when something catches your attention. “Oh, wow.”
You’ve never seen yourself in a simple dress like this. The outfit you wear right now is like the ones that your maids in the palace would wear. But you never knew that it feels really comfortable rather than the overwhelming dresses in your closet. Also, you feel so fresh that you finally feel some heat surrounding your body, for you’ve always been wrapped in coats since the northern kingdom is either snowy or stormy. “This is all new.”
What you saw first when you stepped out of the door was a little stairs. You use them slowly, balancing yourself as you kept the tray steady on your hands, when suddenly a voice greets you merrily. “Good morning, lady.”
You glance at the person and it turns out to be an older with a stick in his hands. You bow yourself like you used to greet older people in the palace. “Good morning, sir.” He laughed upon seeing you bow, gathering another reaction from everyone in the small house. You look around you, there’s a grandma in the living room, possibly the grandpa’s wife, and there’s a middle-aged woman in the kitchen who’s seemingly the mother of Jung Jaehyun, and finally, a little boy, who seems so excited upon seeing you.
“Ooh! She’s awake! Hi! I’m Yuno! Are you feeling better?” He waved after running in your direction, greeting you excitedly. You greet him enthusiastically, feeling warm that finally someone is actually excited to see you. “Hi! Yeah, I’m more than better! Thank you for asking,” you smiled. “Let me take care of the dish,” Yuno gives you his cute eye smile, which makes you pinch his cheek, thanking him in advance.
“Hello. Welcome to our family house. Though, our house is not as comfortable as the ones you live in.” The middle-aged woman approached you gently, smiling with visible wrinkles around her face. You shake your head in panic, “No! This is more than enough, madam. Thank you very much for saving me, I owe your family so much. Please tell me if there’s something I can help today..”
That afternoon, the family gathered around in the strait dining room. You sit next to Yuno, playing rock-paper-scissor. You laugh at how serious he was, tongue sticking out as he concentrates to guess what you’d pull out. After Jaehyun helps his mother, he goes to sit next to you, watching how you play well with his brother. “Hey, you two, do you want to go to the market this evening?”
Yuno looks at his brother, “Really? Sure! We have to bring Y/n to the market, I heard that they are selling some summer candies! You have to try it, Y/n.” Jaehyun looks at you, waiting for your reaction.
“Ooh! Candy? Yeah, let’s go!” You replied enthusiastically. Jaehyun tries hard not smile, even though your reaction makes him blush so hard.
As much as excitement fulfilled your whole body, you also worry about how people might recognize you at the market. Both kingdoms must be in great chaos now that you’re disappeared. Should you disguise yourself? But they will be suspicious of you. Well, since Jaehyun told you that this village is in the middle of an unknown area, you probably shouldn’t worry about your identity. You only pray that they don’t have any idea about the southern nor the northern kingdom.
“Hey, Y/n. Are you ready to go?” Jaehyun tilts his head upon seeing you daydreaming. You flinch when you see him right before you. “Yeah, I am. Let’s go..”
You watch the two boys messing around with each other as the three of you walked through the small patches with tall trees around. You smile in amusement, for there are no such things in the palace. Everything is fake, manipulative, and political. You can’t believe you finally found a simple life outside the palace, and now you feel happy because you left that place.
“Hey, we’re leaving Y/n behind... Y/n, let’s walk together!” Yuno goes behind to walk alongside with you. You smile and nod. Jaehyun also goes behind to your side and walks along with you. “So, that night when I saved you from the pit, I noticed that the carriage has diamonds in it. It was actually beautiful. Perhaps, are you coming from a wealthy family?”
You glance nervously at Jaehyun, confused on how to reply. “I..uh.. I was going to attend a party at the southern kingdom, before the accident. So, my mother gave me a beautiful carriage to go as a gift.”
He nods, and as soon as you see him about to open his mouth, you point at the shining market. “Oh, we’re here!” Yuno grabs your hand, practically dragging you to run with him into the market.
“Let’s try all the candies!”
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That night goes perfectly for the three of you, after you discovered the little festival they held at the market. You spent the night playing happily with Yuno and Jaehyun. And now, it’s time to go back home. Yuno falls asleep on his brother’s back while all of you walked back home. He must be so tired after playing with you all day.
“Aren’t you tired?” Jaehyun asked you who’s walking excitedly beside him. “Not really, tonight was spent really well. I really enjoyed hanging out with Yuno. He’s a bright kid.”He smiled before he keeps his glances at you. “Y/n.. for a lost person in here, you look like you’re not planning to find your way back home.”
You look elsewhere, surprised by how he gives you such a strong point. “Well, I.. I want to go back home,” No, I don’t. “But not now.” Maybe forever. “I might’ve been here for only a day, even so, I enjoy being here. I’d like to stay longer, I promise in two days, I will get myself a place to stay.” Jaehyun narrows his eyes, “Why would you get yourself a home? Just stay in our place, if you’re comfortable with it.”
Your eyes lit up in delight, “Really? If that so,” You nodded. “I’ll stay and become your family member. But, won’t I be a burden or something? I mean, I eat quite well, hehe.” He chuckles upon your frank remarks. “Well, who said you can live in our place for free? There’s a fee for that.” You widen your eyes, already panicking inside for you don’t have anything with me except your wrecked party gown and the accessories.
“Assist me in the ocean and help my mother with farming. That’s what you have to do.”
You sighed in relief, “Oh, thank god it wasn’t money. I thought I’d have to remove all the diamonds on the carriage to pay my rent fees.” He laughed upon seeing your face, which makes you feel like butterflies are flying around in your belly.
The next day, you found yourself trailing behind Jaehyun as he prepares the toils. You feel unfamiliar with all the equipment around him, and you don’t know what to do to help. “Uh, Jaehyun.” You called him timidly. “Yeah?”
“Is it gonna be rough when we sail? Well, I’ve never been in a fishing boat before...” You told him timidly, folding your hands anxiously in front of him. He stands up from his spot, his hands on his waist. Is he judging me?
“Don’t be scared, I’ll protect you... I’ll make sure that you’re safe.” Oh, the smile that gets you every time. At the moment, you feel like it’s a deep promise coming out from him, as if he will always protect you from all the chaos you’re surrounded in. Jaehyun pats you gently, before signaling you to come with him and you only trail behind him, smiling like a stupid girl.
You stare at the man, his arm muscles appeared strong and prominent from bringing the fishing equipment in both of his hands. You spot the most easy thing to bring in his left hand, the fishing bucket with a few tools in it. You grab the bucket from his hand, smiling coyly. “Let me take care of this one. I want to help with whatever you need.”
He smiled sweetly, “Thank you. You know what, this is my first time having someone other than my father on the boat.” You give him a disoriented look, “Oh, is that so? Well, have you bring Yuno before?”
“Nuh-uh.. he’s a scaredy-cat.” Jaehyun shakes his head quickly and you just laugh.
Fifteen minutes later, you found yourself shaking in fear as he turned on the boat engine. He takes both of you to the fishing spot between the limitless ocean and the shore. “There we are.. let’s make sure that we catch a lot of fish today!” He shakes in excitement.
You asked him to teach him and as soon as you spread out the fishing rod, the hook starts to shake. “Ooh, ooh!”
“Pull that in! Roll it, roll it.” You tried to do it, but you were too scared to pull it properly. “I.. can’t!” That was when Jaehyun thought he could help, but...
gasp! He got the fish, which is a good thing, but the position of both of you right now.. is not quite right. His hands are around you as he was hugging you from behind, previously because he was in a hurry to catch your first fish, and he had no time to check what to do with the position. His body was so close to you that you could smell his manly smell.
Jaehyun moves his body away from you, blushing madly while showing his innocent dimples. “I’m sorry...” No words are coming out from you, as you still processing what just happened, until he speaks up again, “Here’s your first fish..” You happily look at the first fish you have ever in your whole lifebefore you frown in disappointment. “Awe, I killed it.”
He laughed at your expression. “Cute... it’s okay, can you hold it?” You glance at the poor fish, trying to hold it until it jumps in front of you, while you gasp in shock. He once again laughed upon seeing you shake in fear. “It’s only a fish, it won’t hurt you.”
You tried once again to be brave in front of him, reaching out your hand to grab the breathless fish, when it stayed and you finally grab it with your own hands. “Hey! I did it!” You happily put the fish into the bucket and gives him an ear-to-ear smile. “Good job, you got your first fish.” Jaehyun only watched you being happy with catching a regular fish for the first time, but what he’s feeling is extraordinary. It’s like there are a lot of things going on in his stomach, and he’s just praying that you won’t hear the loud beating sounds coming from his chest. He doesn’t even understand why his heart is beating so fast like this.
Night comes, and you found yourself sitting at the front porch of the small house, gazing at the stars. Even though you love being here, you can’t help but worry about what you should do onwards. You sigh, not knowing what to do, and feeling unsure of life. You’re scared that he and his family will find out about who you are, and you’re gonna lose all the happiness you feel throughout this little new journey. You feel like, everything will get back to where your life used to be, and that everything will be temporary.
“What are you doing?” Someone taps your shoulder, making you flinch at the sudden contact. “Oh, hey. Nothing, just stargazing.” Jaehyun sits behind you, looking at your face instead of the pretty view of the sky. “What are you worrying about?” He asked once again. You turn your head from the sky to him. “Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah, you know.. you’ve become a part of this home. We, especially Yuno, love your presence here. You make him very happy, you know. So, I- uhm I mean we, want to help you keep your smile too,” He explained. “Honestly, do you know who I am?” You asked. He tilted his head, thinking hard, before he answers, “Uh, Y/n, the daughter of Madam Yoon, from the northern?”
You laugh wholeheartedly. “Yeah, that is right, though. But the truth was more than that. Are you sure you want to know?”
Jaehyun realizes that this matter has become serious and he decided to appreciate whatever you might want to tell him.
“Even though I am so embarrassed to say this, I still think that you have to know the truth. I..” you paused with hesitation. You were so scared that he might turn against you after knowing that you’re someone he was not wishing to be. “Hey... it’s okay. Whoever you are, and whatever happened about you, I will give my support.” He smiled as he put his hand on top of yours, somehow soothing your worries away.
“I.. actually, am a princess. I am the true heir of the northern kingdom, the daughter of Queen Yoon, Y/n.” You confessed with a glassy eyes, staring right at his eyes, looking for a certain reaction. He says nothing, but his eyes widen in shock. And you knew what he’s going to do, which makes you prevent him from doing so. “Don’t bow! Do not.. bow to me... I don’t like that!” He blink in nervousness, but then sit back to his earlier position. “But, you’re a royal family member.”
“No, as long as I’m here, I’m not a royal family member. I’m your friend, your family. See, as soon as I told you about it, it gets awkward between us..” You sigh in advance, not knowing what to do with the situation. Jaehyun kept his mouth shut, before using the opportunity to get to know you more. You immediately tell him everything, about your engagement with the southern prince, and your political mother, and your life as the only princess in the southern kingdom. You also told him about how the carriage accident wasn’t an accident.
Jaehyun sighs, “What should I do? N-no, now that you’re here, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna hide here forever? I am pretty sure that they must have been searching for you everywhere. It can be dangerous for you,” He said with worries in his eyes.
You feel so grateful that even though you’re the only one being a burden in his own house, he still is worried about your safety. So, this is how it feels when someone actually cares about you, without any personal needs in between. “Jaehyun, I don’t think you should worry about me now. The only thing matters right now is your family. The fact that I’m here, is dangerous for all your family members. They are not playing when they come to seek what they want,” you explained.
Once again, he gives you his soothing smile, showing you his deep gummy dimples. “It’s alright, Y/n. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re more than worthy to be cared of, I’m here for you.”
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The next very morning, you help madam Jung in the field to grind the rice under the shiny and warm sun rays. “The view here is so beautiful. I love staying here.” You uttered. Madam Jung smiled at you, admiring your beautiful figure even though it has been an hour and you still look like you’re fresh out of the shower.
“I’m glad if you’re happy being here. I’ve never had a daughter, and you make me feel like I have one. Thank you so much for coming into our household, Y/n.” If heart eyes are real, you’d say you saw them in her eyes. That makes you feel appreciated and accepted. All this time one of the things you have been looking for in life is validation. And started by how Yuno greeted you that day, you found out what validation feels like. “No, the one who should say thank you is me. Thank you so much for accepting me in your house, and because of your son, I can make it out alive. I owe your family so much. One day, I will pay it off to all of you.”
The tall trees line up around you, and at the edge of the cliff, you can spot the limitless blue ocean. There was one time when you went to the ocean, and the very next thing happened was you were drowned in the sea, slowly getting dragged by the alluring waves. That is why you always feel so nervous every time Jaehyun takes you to the sea, but with him, you can sense the protection and calmness he gives you. You know that you’ll be alright when you’re near him.
So, now that he walks beside you to the shore, you no longer feel nervous or jittery like you used to feel. You walk happily beside him, swinging the fishing bucket playfully as the wind gently blows your hair. “The weather is so nice today! It’s the best day to go to the ocean.” You fling out your hand, feeling the warm summer breeze. “So, are you not afraid anymore? Last week when we sailed, you were shaking so bad I thought you wanted to pee or something.” He teased.
You let out a mischievous smile, as you look at him from behind. You were about to tickle him when suddenly a bunch of girls surrendered him with flowers in their hands. “Good morning, Jaehyun! Perhaps, did you have breakfast? I brought you breadsticks and milk!” The most charming girl in the group greeted Jaehyun with a tone that makes you cringe. “I brought you flowers! It’s Bougainvillea... do you like it?”
As the girls surrounded Jaehyun and bombarded him with lunchboxes and flowers, you feel yourself get kicked out of the crowd. You quickly pout, looking at him giving his smiles to the girls, so you decide to walk ahead of him to the shore. “Hey, Y/n! Wait for me,” he shouted at your direction before jogging into your side, and the girls following him after.
“Jaehyun, who’s this? Perhaps, your cousin?” One of the girls asked. Jaehyun looks at you awkwardly, not knowing how to answer. “She’s... she’s my..”
You cut his words, “Girlfriend. Yeah, I am his girlfriend.” You give them a mischievous smirk, as they gasp in shock. “No way, there’s no way he has a girlfriend!” You look at Jaehyun, whose eyes are wide awake at your remark. “I-i.. uh... yeah, she is.” Your smile only gets wider when you thought that you won in front of the girls.
After the girls disappeared, both of you continued the walk to the shore, and here you both now, in front of the boat. “Uh, actually, I.. I said that I’m your.. girlfriend, to make them get away from you. Is that okay?” You asked him because the rest of the walk was filled with awkward silence and you hate awkward situations. “Yeah, uhm, it’s okay. Thank you for saving me, I guess...” He gives you a little smile.
As you both head to the fishing spot, you try to think of something to start a conversation. “I didn’t know you are that famous in this village.” Jaehyun looks at you, shaking his head in advance. “No.. I’m not.” Before silence takes over the small boat.
You sighed, “Why did you become so quiet? Are you upset about what I did earlier?” You asked frankly. He looks at you with an unpredictable expression, which makes you feel so anxious. He also sighed, before shifting himself closer to you. “Honestly, I was so shocked, when you said those words... I..I might’ve imagined if what you said was real.”
This time, it’s your turn to widen your eyes in shock. “What do you mean?” You asked with a tiny voice. “I might’ve hoped that it was real, too. But.. you are too far for me to reach. You actually are.. someone who I can’t just go and walk with, you are too far above me, Y/n.”
You look at him with disbelief, “What makes you think so? I am also a human, Jaehyun. The thing is, if we share something in common, we can be something more than this. What you imagined can be real, because I’ve been feeling the same too.”
“Really?” He asked, before you nodded and pull him into a delicate kiss. His hand slid behind you, holding you closer to his body. He loves the way you feel so sweet in his lips. The innocent kiss continues under the blazing sun, as the both of you close your eyes and forget everything at the moment.
That day becomes the happiest day in your whole life as you walk hand-in-hand with him, smiling as you both start to count the days as lovers.
It has been a month since you live with the Jungs and you’ve become pretty close with few people in the small village. Jaehyun introduced you to the villagers, and they loved you, except the girls who were in love with the most charming man in the village. He taught you a lot of life lessons, which made you want to stay near him longer.
You knew that both kingdoms of Southern and Northern are holding a big search for you around the domain, as not too long ago, Jaehyun and Yuno found a newspaper with you on the cover. That was how the family found out who you actually are, and to your surprise, they support you and want to protect you. They helped you put a disguise on yourself and let the villagers know you as a different person.
Sometimes, the southern guards and armies come to the village to check, but it’s quite hard for them to inspect the whole village because the villagers loathe them, since they became an independent village.
“We have to get in and check the whole area, you can’t forbid us when you don’t have any authority around here.” The chief withstand the higher-up when they stand against the village gate, resisting the armies to enter. “Have you forget? This area is not under the authority of the Southern, so why should we open the gate for your people? We had an agreement.”
You watched bitterly behind a big oak tree, curiously trying to find out what has been going in your kingdom. When you were about to leave the scene, you heard a familiar voice from the crowd. “Good afternoon, gentlemen.” You gasp, Prince Han?
You quickly run towards the Jung’s house, hurriedly looking for Jaehyun who turns out fishing in the ocean at the moment. You ignored Yuno’s concerned holler before locking yourself in your room. You feel your tears fall like a waterfall as your body shakes in fear. The trauma of him pulling your hand harshly, frequent shouting at your face, and threats over the kingdom are taking over your mental state.
Madam Jung knocks on your door, concerned by your weird act, presumably told by her youngest son. “Y/n, is everything alright? I’m here to help you, sweety.” When you heard her soothing voice, you moved to open the door. Madam Jung was startled when she saw you crying like a mess, but she remained calm as she makes the both of you sit on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong? Will you tell me?”
“He’s here... he’s here.” You repeat the same words as they are the only thing in your head right now. Madam Jung doesn’t fully understand what you’re saying but she only hugs you to calm you down. A few moments later, Jaehyun rushes into the room, panting loudly like he just ran in the marathon. “Yuno told me something bad happened, what’s wrong?” He looks at his mother, and then you who’s crying loudly. Madam Jung shakes her head, having no clue about what happened that makes you shake in fear.
Jaehyun goes to take over you to his body, hugging you closer as you lean your whole weight on him, still trembling in fear. “Hey, it’s alright... I’m here for you, we’re here for you.” Jaehyun helps you breathe properly and you gain your calmness right away. You let out a big sigh, before looking up and trying to speak.
“Prince Han... he’s here. I saw him trying to convince the villagers to agree to the inspection. What if he found me, Jae? I’m scared.” He sighed, knowing that this kind of thing will happen as he knows that Prince Han is the most capable person in the country. “It’s alright, we’ll find a way. Do you believe in me?” You nod right away, for you believe that when you’re near him, everything will be alright.
Meanwhile, in front of the gate, the prince spotted you running away from the crowd. He actually saw you hiding behind the tall oak tree. It’s not Prince Han if he doesn’t have a pair of eagle eyes. He calculated every path you left while trying to convince the higher-ups to allow him to inspect the area.. “I’m not here with my men to wreck this beautiful independent village. I’m here to bring you fortunes. Would you like to have something in exchange? Come on, I know that this beautiful village will be happier if you get a little bit of power to your economy. Isn’t that right?”
After an exchange of advantages, the higher-ups let the armies enter the village. Prince Han and his horse immediately go towards the route you took that leads to the forest.
After discussing an alternative plan, Jaehyun decided to hide you in his boat, and sail you to a deserted island that he frequently visited during the fishing season. But Yuno informed him that the armies are getting near, so he decided to put you in the small basement of his house, which used to be a small boat workshop. He told Yuno to hide with you. So there you are, with Yuno under the darkness. You knew Yuno is not a quite brave kid, so you hugged him tightly, making sure that he feels safe.
After a while, Prince Han found the house in the middle of the woods. The first thing he saw was an elderly woman sitting on the front porch. He greeted the woman as he climbed down his horse. “What a good day, ma’am.”
Grandma Jung knows what to do, this is not something she unexpected. She greeted the prince warmly, like she used to receive a guest. “Hello, young man. What can I help you?”
“We’re having an inspection around this area, and allow me to introduce myself. I am Prince Han from the southern. I’m looking for a young woman who probably has come here, seeking for help. For she was poorly lost by an accident that happened around here a month ago. That woman is my lovely fiancé. May I perhaps, look around your house?”
Grandma Jung tries to act like she has no idea about it, “Oh, what a poor young man. We never had a guest nor someone seeking for help these past few months, but you can go inside.” Prince Han entered the house as soon as he got the permission. He checked through the house, but he found nothing. There were no traces of you that he could find, until he entered the last room upstairs. The room was filled with nothing but a shabby interior that he was about to close back the door until he spotted something shiny in the drawer.
He furrowed his eyebrows while approaching the old cupboard. He opened it and smiled in satisfaction. He found your tiara. He quickly excused himself out of the house before calling all of his men to leave the village, promising the higher-ups of the villagers to make his promise as soon as possible.
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A week later, there is no army of the southern looking for you anymore, and your days become calmer than before. But being a protective lover ever, Jaehyun never brings you out of the house ever again, and madam Jung never brings you along with her to the field either. You spent your time playing with Yuno and doing housework.
Today, you were cleaning the front porch when Jaehyun prepared himself to go to the shore. “Be careful, alright?” You smiled as you put your hands around his waist, feeling his warmth against your body. “Yeah, I’ll take care of myself well. And you too, shall stay in the house and don’t go anywhere. Wait for me to come home, alright?”
You nod, “Alright, my prince.” He rubbed your nose against yours, before cupping your cheeks gently, and gives your forehead a peck. After he left the house, You get inside to play with Yuno as usual. You love your routine now for you used to live a dull life as in learning how to walk like a royal princess, and taking political lessons almost every day. But now, all you got to is doing fun activities, as in playing cards with Yuno, cleaning the house, and having a good deep talk with the grandparents.
You were about to take a nap upstairs when Yuno excused himself to go outside to play with his friends until you heard Yuno’s yells at the front door. You vaguely hear him scream, “No! Don’t enter the house, you bad guy! Ouch!” You immediately went to the noise until you freeze in your spot. The guy you feared the most is in front of you. “How’s life outside the palace? Fun? In this miserable place? Are you happy?”
You stutter upon seeing the mess in front of you. You look at Yuno on the floor as he cries in pain, possibly pushed down by the monster in front of you. “You don’t know what kind of mess you put into both of the kingdom, princess.” You ignored the threatening sounds coming out from his mouth. You think of what possibly happens if you keep insisting on being here. The possibility of this family getting hurt because of you, oh, you don’t want that.
You look at the prince’s eyes, begging him to give you mercy, but it looks like he won’t give you what you want. “T..take me with you.”
Yuno stops his crying, “No. Y/n! You shouldn’t go!” You look at Yuno with a sad smile, “No, Yuno. This is my time to go. Please tell your brother my goodbye. I’ll visit if I have time.” No, there will be no time. This is my end.
You surrender yourself to the prince’s hand as he takes you on his carriage. You glance at Yuno and the house for the last time. Maybe happiness and freedom was not meant for you. But the short moment you had there was a gift for you, and you couldn’t forget that forever. Your moments with Jaehyun, all the sweet kisses, and love you received from his warm family, there’s no way you could forget them.
Prince Han takes you straight away to the palace of the northern. The cold breezes blow against you as soon as you stepped out of the carriage, reminding you of how cold and dull your life used to be. You quiver in the cold, as the only thing you wear right now is only the summer dress madam Jung made for you. Prince Han noticed your trembling figure and decided to put a little stunt in front of the people who surrounded the place to see your arrival back to the kingdom.
He puts his coat around you, putting a fake smile as the people cheer for you both. Little did they know, the words he spat on you while he’s on his little sweet act, “Behave, little princess. Or I’ll show you what happened to bad girls since I’m the one who takes over the whole situation now.”
You tried to fake a smile in front of the people as they cheer loudly for you. You only watch bitterly as the spokesman announced your arrival loudly for everyone to hear. “The lost princess is brought safely by her fiancé, the prince of the southern!”
You were brought to the queen’s room, still trembling from the cold and also fear. You stare ahead as the guards open the door for you and you step into the room, timidly presenting yourself. “Mother...” you quietly uttered.
The queen turned herself quietly, while you expect a harsh slap on your cheeks. You close your eyes tightly, head hanging low to the ground, waiting for words spat in your face. But instead, you were wrapped in a big hug. You feel your mother’s tears on your shoulder as she starts to sob on your shoulder. You open your eyes slowly, trying to absorb the surprising moment.
“My daughter, my child.. oh my sweet daughter. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. You’re the only family I have in this huge palace. Don’t ever get lost again... please.” You start crying as soon as you listen to her wailing. “Mother.. I’m back..”
“Thank you for coming back alive, my dear...” The queen mumbled. You nod, feeling relieved that finally, your mother accepted you for who you are. “I’m sorry, mother. I’m sorry...” You cried harder in her arms like a little baby. You feel your mother shakes her head lightly, slowly turning your head to face her directly.
“No, don’t say sorry. While you’re gone, I have reflected on what I’ve been doing to my own daughter, and I was really terrible.” She paused before crying again, “From now on, Let it be your own happiness that happens, dear. Let’s pursue it together, that’s the most important part. I will love you with my whole life as a mother.”
“I will not lose you again, my dear.” Your mother finished the heartwarming reunion with a tight hug, and that day, you finally eternally full.
Meanwhile, outside the door, Prince Han was listening to the whole conversation and he felt like something bad will happen. He was not going to let that happen.
The first week of coming back as the royal princess was great, you start doing what you like to do. The queen lets you learn things that she used to strictly forbid you to do. However, even though you’re doing what makes you happy, you still feel somehow empty. Yeah, you’ve been missing him. Jung Jaehyun, and also the little warm family. You never separated officially from him, so you wonder how he’s been doing and if he misses you too.
It has been bothering you so much that you start to space out during breakfast and dinner. The queen clear her throat to wake you up, and you flinch from that. “What makes you look so bothered? You’ve been out of place lately.” You pucker your lips in response, sighing loudly. “I really want to tell you this, but please don’t get angry.”
The queen nods in agreement, she smiled widely at how you’re eager to tell her something. “Whatever it is, I’m listening.” You fold your hands on the table, preparing the words to say to your mother. “So, when the carriage toppled over and I lost my consciousness, someone saved me and brought me to his house.” Your mother cuts you off, “His? As in, a man?” You pouted once again, “Yeah, but hear me out first.”
“So, his name is Jung Jaehyun, and he was a little bit older than me. His family welcomed me very well, and I got close to his little brother as well. I helped the family as in fishing in the ocean and grinding the rice in the field. Amazing, right? For the first time, I lost my trauma in the ocean, and I also know how to fish!” You tell her excitedly.
She nods as she gently caresses your head, admiring your experience while you were out of the palace. “You were what? Fishing in the ocean and.. grinding the rice in the field? Terrific!”
“Yeah, mother. But the thing is, after knowing him for almost a month, we shared romantic feelings towards each other...” you uttered.
“You what?” The queen tries to get a hold of herself when she heard your shocking story. “Uh, so... did you date him?” You nod slowly. “Mother, he was the man I’ve been looking for. I love him. And every time he’s near me, I feel like my heart is about to burst. Even talking about him now makes my heart race like crazy.”
The queen adores your happy smile, witnessing how you fall in love reminds her that you’re no longer her baby, but an adult. An adult who can find her own true love. “Do you really love him?”
You blinked after hearing the question. What does this mean? “Yeah, mother. I love him so much. But if marrying the southern prince brings you happiness then I will-” The queen cuts you off. “No, let’s reverse that sentence, shall we? If being with that lovely young man brings you happiness, then I will let you be with him.”
Your jaw drops as if it falls and start touching the ground. You hold the neck of your fur coat tightly, while looking at your mother in disbelief. “Is that true, mother?” To your surprise, you didn’t hear it wrong as the queen nods in admission. “Oh, thank you mother, thank you very much! I love you!” You went to hug her while both of you laugh in happiness.
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Two days passed and today is probably the best day for you, for the queen has decided to grant your wish to visit the independent village. You decided to bring the Jungs some gifts. You brought Yuno a cute royal summer outfit and your hand-baked pie. You brought Jaehyun a new and modern fishing kit, even though you went through a hard time looking for them, as the northern kingdom rarely fish in the ocean.
You excitedly step into the carriage, along with the queen. You hold her hand tightly, thanking her for granting your biggest wish. As the horses are running along with the carriage, you feel your heart beating very quickly. Finally, we’ll meet.
The carriage stops in front of the small house. You look around as the tall trees bring you a lot of memories. “Finally...” you mumbled. The horseman opened the door for you and seconds after you stepped out of the carriage excitedly. “It’s kinda hot in here..” The queen mumbled. She takes off her fur coat to adjust well in the semi-tropical weather. “Trust me, mother. The weather is so refreshing! We can feel the sun every day here!”
Yuno goes outside after hearing all the noise. His eyes widen upon seeing your arrival. “Y/n!!!!” He came running to you like he used to do every time you woke up in the morning. “Yuno! Oh, you don’t know how much I miss you!” Yuno hugs you tightly, as if he doesn’t want to lose you again. The queen smiled upon seeing your interaction with the little boy. “Oh, Yuno. Allow me to introduce the graceful woman we have right here, my mother.”
“Oh my god, the queen of the northern!” Both Yuno and his mother scream in delight. You didn’t even notice her standing in front of the door with shocks drawn all over her face. “Oh my god, Yuno. We shall bow to the queen.” Your mother holds madam Jung’s hands to prevent her from bowing, just like what you did to Jaehyun when you told him that you’re a princess. “No, don’t bow to us, for we don’t deserve it. Please take my gratitude for saving and taking care of my daughter while she was out of the palace. Here’s a little gift from us.”
Your mother ordered the horseman to take out every present you brought for the family, as madam Jung starts thanking the queen in advance. While the two are chatting like they already know each other for a long time, you feel yourself blushing hard even though Jaehyun is still not on your sight. You turn to Yuno, “Where is he?”
“Oh, he’s fishing like usual. He might be back in half an hour.”
And half an hour later, You feel his presence even before he reached the front porch. You run towards him, your smile only gets wider when you saw his startled expression. “Jung Jaehyun!” You shouted happily. But as strange as it might look like, but there is no sign that he looks happy to see you. The expression on his face remains flat. But you set aside the negative thoughts, maybe he was just tired, or maybe he just couldn’t believe that you’re here.
You immediately wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly that he feels like he can’t breathe. “I miss you...” you mumbled against his chest. You feel his hands wrapping themselves around you as well, before he pulls you out of his body. “Hey, I.. I, uh, didn’t expect you to be here.” You were taken back by the fact that he pushed you off, but the need to tell him everything takes over all of your questions as you smile widely at him.
“So, that was how my mother agreed to us being together. She also agreed to come here to meet you and your family. Oh, you don’t know how happy I am!” You told him excitedly.
He gives you a small smile, nodding lightly. “I see. But, hear me out, Y/n. On the day you disappeared, when I found out that you surrendered yourself to safe my brother, I did a lot of thinking.” There are thousands of expressions in his face which you couldn’t identify, but you decided to listen first. “What did you think of?”
“I think of how you’d live without me, you can be happy without me on your side. I realized that you’re no longer a person I can reach out as I please. Besides, you already have a perfect life in the palace, your mother finally loves you for who you are, and accepted you no matter what kind of person you are. I can’t protect you, Y/n. That gives me more reason for why I can’t get near you.”
As he explained, your tears fall along with your quivering lips. “Jae, I thought we talked about this. I said we can happen.” You shake your head vigorously, feeling broken that he wasn’t that excited after seeing you. “Please don’t tell me that kind of words, Jae. That is not right, cause I love you! I know that you-”
“No, Y/n. Don’t let me repeat myself. We can’t be together. I’m so sorry, Y/n, but maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”
Jaehyun gets up from the seat, ready to leave you. You get up as well, “You said we’ll find a way, and you told me to believe in you.” You cried hard for him to hear you. He turns his head to you, “That won’t work anymore.” He said coldly before leaving you alone.
That day, you went back home sobbing in the arms of your mother. Telling your mother that the love of your life no longer needs you, hurts the hell out of you. But even though the chapter of Jung Jaehyun just ended in the way that you don’t like it, the memories remain fresh in your mind. He remains beautiful in your heart.
Meanwhile, after leaving you alone to go further into the woods, Jaehyun gives himself time to break down. Holding out his emotions absorbed a lot of his energy, especially when he saw you crying. He really held himself for not hugging you right away, and tell you he was only lying. But he couldn’t do that. He’s more than nothing to even be allowed to touch you. His heart craves for you, but reality makes a great wall between himself and you, and there’s nothing he can do about it.
A month after visiting the independent village, your life has never been the same. Every day, minute, and second reminds you of him. But now, you have your own fight. A fight against the southern’s crown prince. You recently called off the engagement and he was so angry. The whole parliament of the kingdom agreed that a future queen doesn’t have to marry another kingdom’s heir. So, it’s safe to say the southern prince had a big grudge against you.
Today, another big news come to your ears like you were hit by a baseball bat. “What?” You stand up from your seat. “Did I hear it wrong, mother? You hired what?”
Your mother cringe in nervousness, “I think it might be a good decision to bring him close to you. Besides, he’s the one who agreed. I only asked once, and he answered yes right away. And it’s a good thing too because he’s the right person to be your personal guard.”
“Mother, he literally said that we can’t be together, why would he want to be near me. This is weird.” You put your finger on your chin, thinking hard even though you can’t help but get excited. “I probably should prepare for his arrival, don’t you think?” You leave the dining room running excitedly as your mother laughs at your silliness.
The reason why he accepted the offer to be your personal guard was because of the help of the queen when his mother fell sick. He can’t go to the ocean anymore, the cost to bring his mother to the healer was more than what he’d achieve in a year. The second reason was because he wants to be near you. Keeping you safe may not be a regular job for him, it was like his dream. So, to accept the offer was an easy thing for him.
After telling Yuno what to do to take care of their little family, he goes to the northern kingdom with a hidden excitement. Nevertheless, he knows that he should hide his lingering feelings towards you. He should keep being aware of the difference between himself and you, and that the reality wall will never disappear even though he’s being close to you.
Arrived at the palace, he stared at how huge and majestic the palace is. He was welcomed by the head of the palace security guards and immediately escorted to know what to do with his important job. “Your job is to keep the princess’ safety 24/7. You have to stay near her even at night, and follow her everywhere to keep her safe. The queen didn’t officially tell us the details, but maybe you can get the detail from the princess or the queen. That’s all.”
So he ended up in the queen’s office, standing nervously as the queen smiled at him. “Well, your job is to keep my daughter safe of all time. That’s easy. But what I want for you to do was actually to be her companion. Is that even easier?”
Jaehyun promised with all his life that he would keep you safe and also, be a good companion for you. It’s an easy job for him cause he would eventually do it without getting paid. 
“Jung Jaehyun...” His name was the first thing out of your mouth the moment he came to see you in the quiet garden. Jaehyun gives you a smile you couldn’t identify, because the last time you saw him, he looked like he doesn’t want to catch a look on you. And now, he’s waving to you beautifully, and as he walks closer in your direction, everything feels like a dream.
“You’re really here,” you muttered as he now stands in front of you. You tried so hard not to wrap your arms around his built body, scared that if you do that, he’ll run away again from you.
“Yeah, I’m really here, princess. I’m here to guard you, protecting you from whatever that could possibly hurt you.” He keeps smiling at you, which makes your lips curved up into a smile as well. Jaehyun leans onto you until he reach the side of your ear. “Even roaches and insects, I’ll protect you from them, princess.” He whispered before laughing softly.
He looks at your glassy eyes, a frown starts to grow on his face. “Y/n, I’m sorry about what I said to you. Would you... forgive me?”
You ignored his apology, but instead, “You said we can’t work. You said you can’t get near me. I think you owe me an explanation.”
Jaehyun’s eyelids stutter as he tried to look away from you. “I don’t think I can tell you, Y/n.”
“You do know that I’m quite the person ruling both kingdoms. While you here, is nothing but a powerless piece of trash. So, clean all your dreams to be with the princess. You might’ve saved her life, but nothing do you have to be with her, to even get near her. Don’t ever dream about it. As you already know, I can crush anybody who restrain my will, even her.”
You frown, “Another rejection, I see.”
He takes your hand in his, “Forgive me, your highness.”
You look at him with doe eyes, trying hard not to smile while you feel his delicate touch on the back of your palm. “How can I stay mad at you? I eventually prepared something for your arrival.”
Jaehyun squeezes your hands as a smile grows on his face, “Thank goodness. Now, may I embrace you, your highness?” You smile widely as you voluntarily wrap your arms tightly around his waist, face pressed against his chest as he wraps his arms around you as well, giggling softly. “I’ve been missing you, princess.”
“I don’t care about whatever you said to me that day, Jae. All is well now that you’re in my arms. Don’t ever leave me again, my guardian.”
“I’ll keep you safe, princess.”
“Then all is well, indeed.”
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You woke up with a smile on your face. Stretching your body to erase all the stiffness of your body, for you slept in the same position. “Good morning, Shirley, Sergei, and my love, Ella.” You went forward to your cats, and they gladly accepted your presence in the peaceful morning.
“You know what, babies, my prince charming is here. Oh, no, not that boring and abusive prince. My true prince, Jung Jaehyun, in case you all want to remember his name.”
After changing into your usual warm fluffy coat, you immediately walk to your door. As soon as you stepped out of your room, you were greeted by a luscious smile. “Good morning, your highness.”  You smile upon seeing him, and then you were instantly reminded of what you want to do while he’s here. “Come in, before anyone sees,” you muttered before pulling him into your room and close your door.
“Uh, your highness, I don’t think I can enter this room as I please.”
“It’s alright, you always have my permission. So, I need you to wear this.” You hand him the beautiful coat you’ve prepared for him. “You’ll have to wear more coats from now on. Oh, my poor baby, you’re gonna miss the beautiful weather back in your hometown.” You cup his cheek with one hand, brushing your hand gently on it.
“Thank you, although you’ll always be my warmth.” He paused as he pulls you closer to his body and embrace you in a warm hug, making the fancy fireplace in your room lose it’s point to Jaehyun’s own warmth. “Did you sleep well?”
You nod softly as your head leans comfortably on his shoulder.
The first week with Jaehyun being at the palace brings you all the happiness you never knew you needed. The queen herself was very well aware of this. She regrets nothing by recruiting the most important person for her daughter to be her own guard. It’s all for you, as the queen said. 
You attended every royal lesson with Jaehyun, and he keeps company with you in your other classes too. And with him always by your side, means that attending political meetings with your mother is also fun. Like when you both sneaked out of the party, hands tangled to each other, running towards a little private balcony you discovered earlier. 
“The meeting was so utterly boring,” you muttered. Jaehyun only smiles, “Well, I couldn’t agree more, Y/n. At this point, I might as well say that I’m quite glad that I’m not a royal.” 
“I know right,” you replied as you rest your head in your hand boringly.
“Well, you’re gonna bear with it more when you become a queen.” 
You give him a look, before agreeing in advance. “Well, you’re not wrong. But you’ll bear it along with me though, future king.”
“Future king?” He stuttered. You nod as you hum, “Will be you be my king?”
Jaehyun lets out a small laugh, “Really? Though it should be me asking you that, I would. I would, my princess.” He took your delicate hand and brought it up exactly under his chin, before pressing a tender kiss on it.
You flash a smile upon his acceptance, before step ahead to embrace him lovingly. “Please stay with me, jae.”
Well, as if a month of happiness couldn’t be enough for you, the prince of the south returns to the palace, equipped with his dreary winter coat, and a few of his men trailing behind him. You stopped him in the hallway, with Jaehyun staying right behind to you to prevent unwanted things to happen before you speak up, “Why are you here? I thought our business was done.” 
Prince Han scoffs as he gives Jaehyun an unacquainted look. “Don’t worry, princess. This is not something that goes between you and me. This matter goes between the kingdoms.”
You could sense anything bad from his return, and it’s not gonna be about you. “Having a new companion, I see..” He muttered and you blink in nervousness. It turns out that your fear of the abusive prince still exists as sweats start coming out around the surface of your palms.
Prince Han left with his men straight to the conference room, where the queen already expected him. Jaehyun immediately goes next to you, “Princess, are you alright?” He brings your vision to him only, making sure that you’re aware that you’re safe. Your eyes quiver at the thought of something bad happening to either you or Jaehyun. “He’s back...” you mumbled.
Jaehyun tries to soothe you back while giving supports through his eyes. He closes the distance between you both to make your breathing steady again. “Hey, listen to me. Everything will be alright. Do you believe in me?” He asked slowly.
You listen to his voice, eyes glued to his, before you breathe normally again. “Yeah, Jaehyun, I believe in you.” He hugs you tightly without crushing your delicate figure. “Everything will be alright,” he whispered gently.
After the conference ended, you went straight to your mother, who had a blue expression on her face. You sit next to her, gulping your saliva anxiously. “Mother, may I know what acquires a conference between you and the southern kingdom?” You asked carefully. The queen gives you a look, and then a sudden dread smile. “Mother?”
“I have both great and bad news for you, my daughter,” she uttered.
“Tell me the great one first.” you replied.
“Our kingdom has been struggling with armies and territories. Now that we ended our marriage agreement, we lost a lot of things as benefits to the kingdom. But the southern king has just informed me, that they needed our help as well. The agreement will no longer be a marriage, but additions of men and machines.” 
“That’s good, mother. That means no one’s getting hurt, right? By no one, I mean-”
The queen cuts you right away with a frown. “And here comes the bad news, my dear.” You flashed her a look before proceeding to listen.
“I told the crown prince that we’re fine by adding some of our best men and also recruiting as many people as possible from our country. But then, I realized, one of our best men is..”
“Jaehyun, is it? No, mother. I won’t allow it to happen. He just got trained within a month, how is he supposed to go into the war?” You argued. “I know, dear, I’m very well aware that he was only recruited to keep you safe. But, we’re in a crisis, honey, and you know his capability. Becoming the number one between those senior guards only in a month, isn’t that amazing? You should consider letting him go, my dear.” The queen paused. “I asked nothing from you, my daughter, but only to put your trust in him.”
You shook your head in denial, before a familiar voice bursts into the room. “The queen’s right, your highness.” Jaehyun bowed at the queen before turning himself to you. “But, Jaehyun..”
“She’s right, all you need to do is to trust me. You said you believe in me, didn’t you? He gives you a glazed look and you waver at the thought of letting him go into the war with the southern prince. You immediately head to his side, “I trust you, but.. you should never get hurt, jae. I don’t want to lose you.” you muttered against his chest.
He pats your back gently, while feeling a little bit embarrassed to hug the princess in front of her royal family. “Remember what I said, sweetheart, everything will be alright.”
As Jaehyun won the argument that day, you eventually prepare for his departure. You provide him with food, self-care, even some comfortable clothes. You still pack some of the things he would need, when Jaehyun plays with your cats. “At this rate of care, you will see that my fellow troops will get jealous at me.” He scoffed. “Quiet down, young man. As I said, it’s either you’d leave this place with these, or you stay safe here with me, my future king.”
“Yes, ma’am.” 
You smiled after making sure he has the things packed well before you let him depart with the men. You walk towards the end of the bed, and Jaehyun immediately goes next to you as you sit with a particular pose. “You’re going to leave me for months, don’t you think you should leave something important in me?” you uttered.
Jaehyun tilts his head, puzzled at your suggestion. “What should I leave in you?”
“Marks. Claim me as yours tonight, my future king. Tell me that this will not be our first and last, jae.” You leans closer to him, and a coy smile draws upon his face. “As you wish, my princess.”
At dawn, you awakened with the touch of him putting the blanket on your bare figure. You blinked in drowsiness, before coming into a realization that he has to leave in a moment. You quickly rise from your bed and grab your night rope. “Jae,” you called his name with a raspy voice before wrapping your arms around him tightly. “Ouch, I..I can’t breathe, princess.” He cackled as he hugs you back delicately. 
“Please return safely. We’re all waiting for you here. I love you,” you uttered.
Jaehyun nods against the nape of your head. “I’ll come back to you, my home. I love you too.” A tear slips out of his tears, as he feels somehow fearful and worried, like any other human being. “I believe in you, Jae.”
With that, he left with your kisses in his cheeks, and you only look anxiously from your balcony, praying so hard to whoever up there to let him make it out alive.
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“Raise up your appetite, dear. You shouldn’t live like this.” The queen uttered. You heave a sigh, putting down your spoon to stop playing with your food. “I’m sick of waiting, mother. I need to know if he’s safe, and.. alive.” You lowered your voice while mentioning the word ‘alive’, a word that you apparently despise these days. 
“Don’t worry, my child. Jaehyun is a strong warrior, he’s not the number one for nothing.” The queen goes to your side as you sob miserably at the thought of missing him. “I miss him, mother.” “I know, dear. I know,” the queen kissed the top of your head while muttering words to soothe your restless figure.
As the time passes on quickly, you distract yourself from the thought of Jaehyun by taking care of some of the royal cases. You attended every boring conferences you told Jaehyun about, and ended up reminiscing how he would bring you water and roses to help you relax. You also attended every archery classes, and would end up getting reminded of how he would help you straighten your back while aiming the target, about how his hands linger on you.
You’re very well aware that you’re gonna be pretty much insane if you don’t hear about him in less than a month, but you kept your patience, and so, two months passed along with your struggle.
You run past every man who just came back from the war field, looking for one particular man between all of them. “Jaehyun.. Jae?” You call out his name, but no one answers. You kept looking for his figure until the person you didn’t wish to see stopped in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the sight of him, but you know that he actually can give you the information you needed. 
“Prince Han, w-where’s he? Is he coming late or? Tell me, please.”
He dragged you to somewhere quiet until you brushed him aside. “Just get straight to the point. Why can’t I find him anywhere?”
Prince Han looked at you with a sorrowful look, before he opens his mouth. “I’m sorry for you, princess. But, he’s not coming back.”
Your entire world seems to collapse the moment he uttered those words. Your head starts to spin like you were hit by a dangerous storm. “Impossible,” you mumbled. 
“No, there’s no way he couldn’t survive- I..he-” you stuttered as words can’t seem to get into your head. Prince Han holds you closer to his frame, as he watched in agony. “Jae.. my jae,” you mumbled against his chest while sobs flowing throughout your eyes. 
He pats your back gently as guilt start to surround his guts. Now that he watched you mourn to someone who’s not him, he knows that you truly love that person.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. You never imagined that you would pass any more weeks than you’ve expected. Everything felt unreal for you, it’s like you’re living in a nightmare. You crave for him every night, yearning for his touch, just like when you said that night. Was that really your last time with him? You can’t even conceive it anymore. 
The day when you and the queen went to his family’s house was the worst. You fell down to your knees, begging for the family’s forgiveness. You swore you’d kill yourself when you saw Yuno crying over his brother. You couldn’t even look at her in the eyes when his mother told you to get up, saying that all of these was his choice, and that Jaehyun would be sad if he saw all of you cry over him.
You took the whole family to live at the palace, as an act of apology. Day by day passed as you’d watch over Yuno, your new companion, every day. A little version of him, you would say. You hang around Yuno at the library every night, the both of you would end up crying whenever Yuno told you stories of his brother’s little habit.
Today is the day when you have to truly let go of him, as you built a warrior statue of him, as a mark of remembrance, that he would always live in your heart. You bring the whole family behind you to put some beautiful flowers over the statue. You walk ahead with Yuno, him holding a bucket of fresh white Lilies.
After a small mourning event, you kindly requested everyone to leave you alone near the statue. You immediately fall to your knees when everyone departed away. “You said you’d come back. You broke your promise again, you fool.” You smile through all the tears that flow like a waterfall on your cheeks. 
You put the last flower on top of the other flowers. “You’ll forever live in my heart, Jae.” Your shoulders shake as loud sobs start to be heard. 
“I’m sorry.” A familiar raspy voice appeared like a fantasy. You scoff, “Even now you sound real too, I should be imagining things, right?” You look at the flowers as you wipe your tears harshly.
“Y/n,” he called again. “No, don’t be like this, Y/n. He’s not here and you’re just imagining things-” 
Before you know it, a pair of hands wrapped you in hug tight. Your eyes widen in shock, as you recognize his scent. “J-jaehyun?” you muttered slowly. 
He let go, before looking straight at your round orbs. “Yeah, I’m here. I’m alive, my darling.” A tear rolled out of his eyes, and you swear that everything around you stops in a moment. You keep your eyes still in his disheveled look, afraid that the moment you blink, he’ll disappear. “How? Are you... are you real?” You asked.
Jaehyun nods gently. “I’m here, baby. I came home. I’m sorry I arrived late.”
You break into a loud sobs, as if a hundred kilo of weights are being lifted from your back. You hug him tightly, afraid of him leaving again. “You, evil little thing! You made us all worried. Please don’t ever scare me like this again.” You sob while hitting him lightly, throwing all of your sorrow to him. He stayed still while receiving his little ‘punishment’, before stopping you by pressing his lips into you.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Oh my god, look at your arms, there are bruises everywhere,” you babbled when you check out his disheveled figure. “Let’s get you treated,” you uttered.
Jaehyun gives you a small look as he wraps his arms around you once again, “You don’t even know how happy I am to come back to you, my home.”
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After getting him treated, the queen held a fest to celebrate his return. You also held a little celebration with him and Yuno. And that night where you dressed up as the white queen swan and him as your white king swan, as always, the both of you sneak out of the party, bringing a lot of snacks and drinks to enjoy the night alone, away from the crowds. 
He told you everything about how he ended up in a puddle of mud, and how his life flashed before him when he was dying. He also explained how some people found him and helped him until he was ready to go back.
“I miss those times when we’d stare at the starry sky. I miss your hometown, the village was so lovely.”
Jaehyun nods, “I miss wearing my loose shirt and carrying my toil and sail through the ocean.” You give him a look, “Do you want to go back? Let’s go to the small island you told me.” 
He cups your cheeks delicately, “Anywhere with you sounds right, baby.”
You peck his tempting plump lips, and you both spend the night filling all the moments he was away from you. Now that he’s back in your arms, which is his home, he gladly told you that this is not going to be your last.
Years later, you both vowed after the preacher with a long-lasting marriage kiss, before the queen crowned you as her heir, as the next queen, alongside with Jaehyun as your king. He’ll be by your side forever, no matter what happens, as a part of your happily ever after.
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inkwell1013 · 3 years ago
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Feeding the Starving artist - Persona 5
Pairings: Various platonic ships. Mostly Yusuke and the Phantom Thieves, but also includes Yusuke and Sojiro (familial)
Genre: Angst, but also fluff, oneshot, found family, friendship
Word count: 5.2k
Warnings: This fic deals with some difficult topics including disordered eating habits and child abuse/neglect (implied/referenced).
Summary: Yusuke Kitagawa is the epitome of a starving artist - in more ways than one - and when Ren find out that his friend is dangerously underweight, he and the rest of the Phantom Thieves hatch a plan to help Yusuke with his bad eating habits. Because sometimes the solution is just as simple as it sounds.
- - - - -
Yusuke was stick thin. He always had been, even as a child. The reason was simple: he had never had enough to eat. When he lived in the atelier, complete meals were rare, and he was used to eating meagre scraps of whatever Natsuhiko could find in the cupboards. There just wasn’t enough food to go around.
Even after he left that place in the wake of Madarame’s arrest, unable to shirk the dark memories that clang to it like a thick fog, Yusuke stuck to those same eating habits. It was a comfort. It was familiar. It was enough.
As much as the school nurse told him that he was underweight and insisted that he needed to eat more, he refused to believe her. He was eating the same amount that he ate as a child and saw no reason to change his habits.
He was fine.
In truth, he was not fine. His diet was beginning to affect him, as much as he hated to admit it. He was tired constantly, and every time he stood up too fast, he felt his head spin wildly. Yusuke’s constant exhaustion meant that he was falling asleep at every possible opportunity – on Ren’s shoulder while they drove around mementos, at his desk at school or while they were just hanging out. No one minded, just like no one minded how Yusuke stole food from them when he thought they weren’t looking, chalking his behavior up to his usual eccentricity. It took a few months of this for any of them to notice that something was wrong.
And it was easy to not notice, as Yusuke was good at coming up with excuses. “I’m fine,” he would say. “Just stayed up late finishing a piece. Don’t worry about me.” Or “I just forgot my lunch. Thought I’d borrow some of yours.”
Even so, the more perceptive of the phantom thieves, especially Ren, Makoto and Haru, couldn’t help but worry about their friend.
It all came to a head during their summer vacation. Yusuke had come to visit Ren and left Le Blanc at about six o’clock, insisting that he needed to get back to the dorms before curfew. Ren had gone to take out the trash a little later that evening, and found his friend, sprawled out on the ground, unconscious.  
“Sojiro!” he yelled. “It’s Yusuke. He’s fainted!”
“What do you mean he’s fainted?” asked Sojiro. “I swear to God, if this is some stupid prank…”
“No. I swear he’s really unconscious. I think he might be hurt. Please.” Ren could hear the terror in his own voice, and he knew that Sojiro could hear it too, because there was a great clatter in the kitchen and Sojiro came running. He swore under his breath when he saw Yusuke, and quickly placed a finger to his wrist.
“His pulse is weak, but it’s there,” he said finally. “We need to get him inside. Can you pick him up?”
Ren dug his hands underneath Yusuke’s shoulders, and hoisted him upright, throwing one of Yusuke’s arms over his shoulder and putting his arm around Yusuke’s waist. He was horrified to see that he weighed almost nothing. “Is he heavy?” asked Sojiro. “Do you need help?”
“No… I don’t. He weighs nothing.”
“He can’t be that light. Pass him here.” Ren complied, allowing Sojiro to take on most of Yusuke’s weight.
Sojiro’s eyes widened. “He’s lighter than Futaba,” he whispered.
Futaba was a good foot shorter than Yusuke. He should have weighed much more than her, not so much less.
“We need to get him inside,” said Ren. From his hand’s position on Yusuke’s side, he could feel every one of his ribs. This was bad. How did he not notice that something was wrong before?
He shouldered Yusuke’s slight frame into Le Blanc and laid him down in one of the booths. “Fetch the doctor,” ordered Sojiro. “I’ll watch him.”
Ren wasn’t a particularly fast runner; he wasn’t slow, but he wasn’t especially fast either. Even so, as he ran to fetch the doctor, the world became a blur behind him. A single word repeated in his mind, repeatedly:
“Shit. Shit. Shit.”
He burst into Takemi’s clinic, grabbing her by the arm. “No time to explain,” he panted, trying to drag her out the front door. “You have to come.”
“Give me a second to lock the door kid,” said Takemi. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Yusuke… my friend… he fainted… and somethings really wrong. He weighs literally nothing. He’s so light.”
“That does sound serious. Where is he?”
“Le Blanc. Hurry.”
***
Takemi’s face fell when she saw Yusuke - who had thankfully begun to stir slightly - and Ren understood why. Yusuke’s appearance was almost ghoulish, he was white as a sheet and there were deep bags under his eyes.
“Is he another one of yours Sojiro?” asked Takemi, in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. “How many kids do you have tucked away back there?”
“No, he’s not,” said Sojiro. “He’s… He’s Ren’s friend. Just spends a lot of time here. You know how it is.”
“You called the doctor?” whined Yusuke, trying to sit up. “That was completely unnecessary. I’m fine.”
“Yusuke, you literally fainted. You’re not okay,” said Ren, placing a hand on Yusuke’s chest and pushing him back down. “Don’t try to stand up, you might faint again.”
“But I’m fine!”
“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you,” said Takemi, reaching into her bag and pulling out a stethoscope. She pressed it to Yusuke’s chest, and listened a moment. Frowning, she lifted in away. “You have a weak heartbeat. I’ll bet you have a dangerously low blood pressure too. Do you feel any numbness or coldness in your extremities?”
“A little. I thought that was normal.”
“It’s a sign of poor circulation, likely due to your weak heart. Do you know how much you weigh?”
“Umm… the last time we had physical examinations at school I weighed fifty-three and a half kilos.”
“And how tall are you?”
“A hundred and eighty-one centimeters.”
Takemi pulled her phone out her pocket and jabbed a few numbers into it. She scowled. “Your BMI is 16.3. You’re severely underweight. It’s no wonder you’re having health problems.”
Somehow, to Ren, even the word ‘severely’ feels like an understatement.
“I’m surprised your parents weren’t contacted,” she continued. “This stuff is serious.”
Yusuke stared down at the ground, not saying anything. Sensing the tension, Takemi spoke again. “I feel like I’ve touched on a sensitive issue here. You are under no obligation to tell me, but is everything alright at home?”
“He’s in jail,” came the quiet response. “My fathe- my mentor got arrested… for child abuse. And my mother is dead.”
Takemi took in a sharp breath, looking desperately at Ren and Sojiro. “You have a place to stay, right?” she asked. “Because if you don’t, I’m sure Sojiro will…”
“I’m living in my school dorms. I’m fine.”
“That’s good. Look, I can prescribe you some medication to lessen some of your symptoms, like your fatigue and low blood pressure, but the best thing you can do is try to get to a healthy weight. Given your height, you should aim to gain roughly ten to fifteen kilos over the next few months.” She handed him a business card. “If you need any further help, you can call me or come to my clinic.”
She packed up her things and pulled Sojiro to one side, safely out of earshot. “This kid has some serious problems,” she whispered. “I don’t know if it’s an eating disorder or just bad habits, but he’s going to need help. I know it’s a lot to ask but—”
Sojiro interrupted her. “I will. I’ve done this before with my daughter. She had similar issues. I know that I can help him.”
Takemi nodded, begrudging respect in her eyes. “Besides,” continued Sojiro. “The kid has good friends. I’m sure they’ll help him out too.”
Sojiro saw Takemi out the door, but once he was sure she was gone, he headed back to check on Ren and Yusuke. Sojiro’s heart broke a little in his chest as he saw Yusuke’s expression. His eyes were watering, and he looked so confused and lost. When Ren patted him on the shoulder, Sojiro couldn’t help but notice that Yusuke jumped a little at the touch.
“I need to get back to the dorms or I’ll miss curfew,” he mumbled, sitting up.
“Let me drive you,” said Sojiro.
“That’s not necessary,” replied Yusuke, a tad sharply.
Sojiro sighed. “Just accept my help kid. It won’t kill you.”
Yusuke begrudgingly allowed Sojiro to drive him back to the dorms, after Sojiro insisted that he’d rather not find him passed out on the street again.
By the time Sojiro got back to Le Blanc, Ren was already asleep upstairs. He went to lock up the café, craving a cigarette for the first time in years. For the first time since… Since Wakaba died.
It was funny to think that just a few years ago he didn’t consider himself to be a fatherly person and now he had a whole troop of kids. Sighing, he put the key in the lock and turned it, before making the slow trudge home.
***
Ren let out a deep sigh. Pulling out his phone, he made a group chat and invited all his friends, save for Yusuke.
Ren: I’m calling an emergency meeting. Don’t tell Yusuke.
Ryuji: Why not?
Makoto: This is about him, isn’t it? About the thing we discussed.
Haru: I hoped we were wrong.
Ren: Yes, it’s about that.
Ryuji: Why are you all being so cryptic?
Ren: Meet me at Le Blanc at 10am tomorrow. Don’t be late.
Ren: That means you Ryuji.
Ryuji: Dude!
Ren: @Ann Make sure Ryuji gets here on time.
Ann: Will do.
Ryuji: Don’t encourage him!
Ryuji: Seriously, what’s going on? I’m so confused.
Ren: I’ll bring Futaba. Remember, do not tell Yusuke. He can’t know about this.
Turning off his phone, Ren set it down on the table and took in a long, deep breath. He needed to tell them. He needed to be a good leader. He needed to be who everyone else needed him to be.
He was a Joker, expected to fit into any gap, and designed to be a wild card. He could do anything, fill any role, and tomorrow, his role would be that of the messenger, bearing terrible news. He didn’t want to do it, but he had no choice.
***
When Ren stirred the next morning, memories of the previous night flooded his mind. Shit. He dragged himself out of bed and went to feed Morgana. Anticipating the promise of food, Morgana jumped off the windowsill, and onto the table, where Ren portioned out a tin of tuna for him.
“What are you sighing so much for?” asked Morgana between bites. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s about Yusuke,” explained Ren. “And it’s pretty serious.”
“How serious?”
“I had to call an emergency meeting.”
“But those are only for—”
“When someone’s life is in danger. I know.”
Morgana cocked his head. “It’s that bad?”
“Yeah, it is. He fainted, he’s so thin, he’s not eating enough, and I’m really worried about him.”
Morgana flicked his tail. “I had to deal with some food insecurity back before I met you all,” he began.
“When you were a stray?”
“I wasn’t a stray. I’m not a cat!” snapped Morgana. “But yes, when I was homeless, food was hard to come by. Maybe Yusuke’s dealing with something similar?”
“Maybe. He is technically homeless…”
It sounded bad when he said it, which it was. Yusuke had technically been homeless for several months. Even so, it had never been a problem, as he had been living in the Kosei dorms since Madarame’s arrest. It wasn’t like he was out roaming the streets or something.
Maybe the dorms were the problem. There was no one there to check that Yusuke was eating. He could engage in whatever unhealthy habits he wanted, and no one would ever find out.
Ren threw the empty tuna can in the bin, and went to help Sojiro with the café, hoping that having something to do with himself would lessen his anxiety somewhat. It worked, but only a little.
 Ren dragged Futaba - who was still groggy, having just woken up moments ago - to the meeting, before setting her down at the table with a fresh cup of black coffee. Morgana came slinking down the stairs a few minutes later. Makoto was the first to arrive after that, followed shortly after by Haru.
Ten minutes after the agreed upon time, Ann and Ryuji both burst into the room, bickering as always. “I can’t believe you made us late,” snapped Ann, sliding into the booth.
“I didn’t make us late,” replied Ryuji. “You were the one who just had to fix your hair before we left.”
“Only because it got messed up while I was helping you find your housekeys.”
“I didn’t know they would be under the sofa! I have no idea how they even got there!”
“You’re such a moron.”
“And you’re not much better.”
Ann rolled her eyes. “I love you anyway dumbass,” she said, giving Ryuji a peck on the cheek.
Once everyone was settled at the table, Ren retold the story of the previous night. A hush fell over the table, and Ryuji was the first to speak up.
“What can we do to help?” he asked.
Ren sighed. “I really don’t know. This is some serious shit. I mean, you guys weren’t there, but it was terrifying. I could count his ribs through his shirt.”
“We have to do something,” said Makoto.
“But Yusuke doesn’t want to be helped,” sighed Ren. “He insisted that everything is fine, even though we both knew it wasn’t.”
“We could just… give him food,” said Ryuji. “We don’t need to make this complicated.”
“Don’t be stupid Ryuji,” snapped Morgana. “There’s no way that would work.”
“No, I’m with Ryuji on this one,” said Ren. “It’s a simple plan, but it could work. So, are we in agreement?” There was a murmur of acknowledgement around the table.
“Alright. Let’s do this,” said Futaba, taking a sip of her coffee.
***
Makoto - always the most organized of the group - was the first to enact her part of the scheme: making Yusuke eat lunch. Her plan was simple and would hopefully work. She had prepared the first phase of her plan that morning, all she had to do now was ‘coincidentally’ run into Yusuke and enact phase two.
It wasn’t that hard to spot Yusuke on the train platform, as he tended to tower a good few inches over people, just as he was doing here. She reminded herself to play it cool.
“Hey Yusuke. Fancy seeing you here,” she said, walking up to him.
“Ah, Good morning Makoto. It’s not that unusual. We do catch the same train line up until the first stop.”
“You’re right,” said Makoto, shifting a little in place, and rearranging her grip on the bag she was holding. Just come out and say it already… The words just wouldn’t form on her tongue.
Thankfully, Yusuke brought it up first. “What do you have there?” he asked.
“Oh this? I accidentally made too much lunch today, and the rest wouldn’t fit in my backpack. It’s such a pain to carry it around though…”
Come on. Get the hint already.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Yusuke, glancing up at the noticeboard for train arrival times. This absolute moron…
“Why don’t you take it?” she offered. “You’d be doing me a favor; I really don’t want to have to carry it around all day.”
Yusuke frowned. “Are you sure? It’s your food.”
“I’m certain.”
“If you insist.” Yusuke took the bag from Makoto with a cautious reverence. He glanced at her one last time, as if making sure that it was really okay to take it, before opening his backpack and placing it inside.
“Oh. I’ll need the lunchbox back,” said Makoto. “You can just come by my house after school and drop it off.” At that moment, the train came screeching onto the platform, and she and Yusuke both stepped in.
Mission accomplished.
***
Yusuke was working on a new painting when his phone rang. He was about to decline the call, but he recognized Ann’s number and picked up. Clearing his throat, he spoke. “Good afternoon.”
“Hey Yusuke! I’m going to that new café in Shibuya tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?” asked Ann.
“Are you sure?” asked Yusuke. “I don’t want to be a bother.”
“It’s fine. I want to hang out with you.”
Yusuke thought for a moment but shook his head. “As kind as that is of you, I must decline, as I don’t have the money.”
“I’ll pay for you. Come on, it’s my treat.”
“I really shouldn’t…”
“I have pictures from that art showing I went to last week. I could show them to you.”
Yusuke was about to scoff – did Ann really believe that he could he bribed with pictures of an art showing? – but he stopped himself at the last moment.
He really wanted to see those pictures. He had been unable to attend the exhibit as it was during his exam week, but he had been following the artist online for some time and found their work both beautiful and inspiring.
Who knows if he’d get this chance again?
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll come.”
The next day, he arrived at the café at precisely the agreed upon time. Yusuke was one of those people who believe that being late was a terrible sin, comparable only to leaving one’s brushes in their water pot or wasting paint.
His eyes swept around the small café, and recognizing Ann’s distinctive blond hair, he walked over and sat down. There was already a wide array of cakes and pastries spread out across the table. Yusuke couldn’t stop his mouth from watering at the glorious sight, but he quickly reminded himself not to be greedy. This was Ann’s food, not his. He pulled his hands onto his lap, restraining himself.
Ann gave him a bright, cheery smile, and slid a slice of lemon cake towards him. “Here,” she said. “You like lemon cake, right?”
Yusuke stared down at the neat piece of yellow cake in front of him. His mother had made lemon cake for him once, when he was young. He didn’t remember the occasion – a birthday perhaps – but he remembered how it tasted. It was sour, yet sweet, and blindingly bright, like a drop of sunshine.
“Its my favorite,” he said, forcing back the memories. It wouldn’t do to cry over a piece of cake, like some kind of idiot. “How did you...?”
“Do you remember when Haru brought over those pastries the other day? When she offered you one, you reached right for the lemon cake without even stopping to look at any of the others. I assumed that’s because it was your favorite.”
“That was weeks ago. You remembered all this time?”
“Of course. It something that makes you happy, so I remembered it.”
“Huh.” Yusuke took the fork from the plate and cut himself a slice of the cake. It tasted just as good as he remembered.
He couldn’t help but remember what his mother said, as she handed him the piece of cake all those years ago. “That’s the great thing about this recipe. It lets you take something bitter and sad and turn it into something of melancholic beauty.”
“So, you wanted to see those paintings from the exhibit,” said Ann, pulling out her phone.
Ah, yes. That’s why they were here, wasn’t it? Yusuke almost didn’t care about it anymore; he just wanted to savor this flawless taste for one more moment. Blissful.
Even so, he pulled his attention towards Ann’s phone, where she had various pictures from the exhibition. He studied the artwork with a careful dedication, trying his best to etch every line and color into his mind. It was just as good as he expected from the young artist whose early work had enraptured him so.
As Ann rambled her way through many interpretations of the art that was on display, she made a point to push a few plates of sweets in front of Yusuke, who ate them dutifully.
Ann gave a secret smile.
***
Yusuke damn near tumbled over as Ryuji clapped him on the back, and he had to take a moment to steady himself. “Sup dude,” said Ryuji. “I’m going to the gym later. Wanna come?”
“I’m not really a fan of… those places…” mumbled Yusuke.
Ryuji was blissfully unaware of his friend’s apprehension. “I’ll treat you to beef bowl afterwards,” he offered.
Yusuke’s mouth watered at the promise, and he found himself nodding, quite without the preapproval of his mind. “Awesome man!” beamed Ryuji. “You don’t have to workout or anything if you don’t want to. You can just spot me. Anyways, I’ll see you there. What time do you wanna meet up?”
“Whatever time works for you.”
“Is like… five o’clock okay? I have to get changed into gym clothes and stuff.”
“As do I.” Did Yusuke even own gym clothes? He wasn’t certain. He had dropped out of gym class at the end of his first year of high school and never looked back. Even so, he was sure he’d find something to wear.
Rooting around in the deepest, most forgotten crevices of his drawers, he managed to find a pair of frayed, grey shorts and a tank top. These were classed as sporting attire, right? He pulled on the clothes and felt them completely dwarf his body.
He really didn’t want to ‘work out’ as Ryuji would put it. The last time he had done any massively strenuous exercise outside of the metaverse, which was sometime the previous year, he had fainted rather dramatically. It had been a particularly embarrassing moment, as it had happened in front of his entire class during gym and ended with him being carried off to the nurse’s office. He couldn’t help but fear that history would repeat itself.
He took a deep breath that did nothing to quell his nerves and left the dorms.
The gym smelt bad – that was Yusuke’s first thought. It absolutely reeked of sweat, and Yusuke couldn’t help but be a little intimidated by the various pieces of exercise equipment scattered around him that, in his opinion, looked more like torture devices.
Sometime while he was thinking, Ryuji snuck up on him and gave him a bone-crushing hug. “Sup dude. I’m so pumped about this!” said Ryuji. “I was gonna start with some cardio and then do some lifting. Do you want to join in?”
“Um… maybe?” mumbled Yusuke.
“Let’s just start and you can see how you feel. But go at your own pace and don’t push yourself too hard.”
Yusuke let out a murmur of agreement and headed towards the treadmills. If he was remembering correctly, running was cardio. He really didn’t want to run - it just made him feel tired and dizzy - but Ryuji was already setting up his machine, so Yusuke couldn’t drop out now.
He fiddled with the buttons until the treadmill was moving at a suitable pace and set himself into motion. It was invigorating, in a strange way. He even found himself somewhat enjoying the feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins.
And then, once around half an hour had passed, Yusuke stumbled and had to grab ahold of the handle to keep from falling flat on his face. How graceful.
Ryuji turned off his machine and turned to his friend. “I think you’re a bit worn out,” he said. “Let’s take a break.”
Yusuke nodded breathlessly, and scrambled off the machine, desperately trying to catch his breath. When did he get this out of shape? He was startled when Ryuji threw him a bottle of water, which nearly smacked him on the side of the head.
“Go on,” said Ryuji. “Drink it.”
Yusuke’s thirst had gone unnoticed up until then, but he gratefully gulped down the drink. Somehow it had stayed graciously cool, even in the summer heat. Once he had drank all the water, Ryuji pressed something into his hand, going to drink his own bottle.
It was a protein bar. Yusuke had never had one of these before, but he knew that athletes ate them a lot. Even with the promise of chocolate chips – the message for which was printed on the side of the packet - Yusuke was cautious; he had never been a fan of new food.
He watched Ryuji tear open the packet of his bar and take a large chomp, looking for… something, though he wasn’t sure what. Permission maybe? He was used to asking others for food, whether that be Madarame, Natsuhiko or the school cook, and he wasn’t good at just taking things for himself.
Ryuji looked at him with a quizzical expression. “Why aren’t you eating? It’s really good. Give it a try.”
That’s all the permission Yusuke needed, and he took a bite. Not bad, actually. No one was more surprised than him when the entire bar was devoured in seconds. Maybe he was hungrier than he realized…
Ryuji took the empty bottle from him and threw it back into his backpack, before tossing the empty wrappers into the bin. “I’m going to do some weightlifting,” he said. “Will you spot me?”
“Of course.”
***
It was a hot day, and Yusuke was sweating like a pig. His back hurt too and he slightly regretted offering to help Haru with her gardening. Even so, Yusuke was a man of his word, and stubbornly refused to quit because of something as trivial as a little pain.
He rubbed the sweat from his brow and bent down to pull up the radish he was attempting to harvest. The damn thing just refused to move. He gave it one last tug and it suddenly came loose, sending him stumbling backwards, only just catching himself before he fell. Throwing the radish into the cardboard box at his feet, he went to start on the next row.
Haru appeared behind him and passed him a can of soda. It was chilled – she had probably got it from the vending machine – and Yusuke gulped it down in one go. Haru sipped her own can, glancing over at the box of vegetables she and Yusuke had spent all morning pulling out the ground. There was a good collection in there: some carrots, some radishes, a decent sized head of lettuce, a bag of green beans and more potatoes than Yusuke could count.
“We’ve had a good harvest,” said Haru.
Yusuke hummed in agreement, going back to pulling up radishes. Around an hour later, they were finally finished, and Yusuke said his goodbyes, about to collect his things and leave, when Haru stopped him.
“Wait a moment,” she said, pulling a plastic bag from her coat pocket, and picking a few handfuls of vegetables from the box. She handed them over to Yusuke with a smile. “Here, take these.”
“Are you sure?”
“Think of it as payment for your hard days work.”
Yusuke tightened his grip around the handle and nodded. “I’ve got to get home,” said Haru. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
***
Yusuke had spent the day with Ren, doing nothing in particular. At half past six, he announced his departure, but when he tried to leave, Sojiro stopped him, setting a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. It was a strangely gentle touch, something Yusuke wasn’t used to, but he tensed under it regardless. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?” offered Sojiro. “I’m making curry.”
Ren appeared in the stairwell. “When are you not making curry?” he said.
“Watch your mouth young man,” laughed Sojiro.  Futaba giggled from her seat, and Ren smirked too. Yusuke couldn’t help but feel a little melancholic at the sight, longing for something he never really had. His hand twitched toward them, greedy and wanting, but he stopped himself.
“I want to stay,” he said. “But I’ll get in trouble. Curfew is at seven.”
“I’ll call your school and explain things. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Hesitation fluttered through Yusuke’s mind, but he forced it down. He wanted this, more than he had wanted anything in a long time. “Okay. I’ll stay.”
He let Futaba drag him all the way to Sojiro’s house, rambling all the way about an anime that she was watching, while Ren and Sojiro exchanged a secret grin behind him.
Yusuke had been in Sojiro’s house before, but this was the first time he had gotten a good look around. It really was just a normal house, with a slightly less normal family inhabiting it. Ren went to set the table, and Sojiro went to serve the food, Futaba helping him. Yusuke was caught in the middle, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to get in trouble for doing something wrong, but at the same time, he hated just standing there, useless, and idle.
Eventually he settled for helping Ren lay the table, desperate to be at least a little helpful, and Ren did smile as he went over, which was a good sign. They laid the kitchen table together, and Yusuke surveyed the landscape. The kitchen was quite small, but a good enough size for a family of three. He wondered, briefly, if they ate breakfast together in the mornings.
The realization came to him, deep and cutting, that he hadn’t eaten breakfast, let alone a complete meal, with anyone since Natsuhiko left.  These days, he had grown used to eating his meals, when he remembered to eat them at all, alone in his dorm rooms, usually while working on something else. Food was always an after thought for him.
It was strange how much he missed it.
Sojiro came over, holding two plates of curry and Futaba trailed behind him, doing the same. Futaba handed a plate to Ren and Sojiro handed a plate to Yusuke. Once everyone was sat at the table, Yusuke waited for permission to eat, but wasn’t granted it.
It took a few moments for Ren to notice that something was wrong, but he eventually did, giving Sojiro a sharp nudge in the side and gesturing toward Yusuke. Sojiro quickly got the message and asked, “Why aren’t you eating son?”
The reply is simple, at least to Yusuke. “You didn’t tell me I could.”
“You can always eat here,” said Sojiro. “Whatever you want, and whenever you want it.”
Yusuke nodded slowly, picking up his spoon. Taking one last glance around the table, checking that it was really okay, he took his first bite. And then another. Soon, the plate was empty, and Yusuke had never felt so full in his life.
Futaba brandished her plate towards Sojiro like a knife. “I want seconds,” she demanded.
“Okay, okay. I’ll get you some more,” said Sojiro, standing up.
“I’ll have some more too,” said Ren, handing Sojiro his plate with just the slightest hint of a cocky smirk on his face. They all cast an expectant look to Yusuke.
Why not? He had room for a little more. “I’ll have seconds too,” he said. Sojiro smiled at him – a real genuine smile, something he had never seen from Madarame – and Yusuke decided he liked the feeling.
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bestworstcase · 4 years ago
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farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 16-17
back at it.
re: romance novel: “I saw a patch of red flowers, and I thought they would be striking against Cass’s dark hair. She wasn’t exactly a flower wearer, but maybe she’d let me pin one on her dress? The color would set off her fair skin so perfectly. And she could at least keep some in a vase by her bed. I refused to believe there was a person alive who didn’t feel better with freshly cut flowers in her room.” that’s gay rapunzel
i do admittedly have some ambivalent feelings about this passage. on the one hand it’s - yes, very gay. but also it feels to me like such a clear illustration of the difficulty rapunzel has with empathy and listening to other people when their experiences or expectations or needs diverge from hers; she acknowledges that cass isn’t into flowers, but follows it up with “but maybe i can get her to wear some anyway,” and of course there’s the whole refusing to believe anyone could feel differently about having flowers in their room than she does. and it also has this weird undercurrent of - god, i don’t know how to phrase it in a succinct way.
this specific passage was on my mind when i wrote this bit in moonless air chapter 4: 
Still. She plucks at the stitches of her jack-of-plate, self-conscious.
It’s the nicest thing she owns. Soft green velvet sewn over sturdy layers of canvas and steel. Armor. She’d saved up for more than a year to buy it for herself on the anniversary of her adoption two years ago, and at the time it had been nothing but a frivolous luxury. Stupid, really. She’d never had real reason to wear it in Herzingen, not for anything besides teaching herself how to move with its weight and entertaining ridiculous fantasies—but last night, Moira had intimated that their destination in Vardaros is fancy as well as dangerous. So the jack seemed… appropriate.
Sharp. She twitches.
Clothing—fashion isn’t– Cassandra’s always hated dresses. It’s a trait that demands a certain amount of indifference to what other people think of her appearance.
And she can do indifference. Cassandra has indifference in spades. But nobody’s ever paid her a compliment quite like that before: baldly appreciative. Straightforward. Not like all the times Rapunzel coaxed her into tolerating crowns of late-summer flowers because the colors look so nice with your complexion! and not like the Commander’s gruff praise for how grown-up she looked in the hideous pastel gowns that had come with the lady-in-waiting gig.
because – like, cass is butch, and “not a flower wearer,” and here in lost lagoon we have this passage where rapunzel expresses this pretty straightforward attraction to cassandra but in the context of imagining cassandra presenting in a much more feminine way than she is comfortable with - in a dress with flowers in her hair etc - and it just... rubs me the wrong way a little bit. and this is not to say like cass can’t be butch and put a flower in her hair but when it’s paired with rapunzel specifically acknowledging that cass doesn’t WANT to wear flowers then it - yeah i feel weird about this passage. 
and that translated into cass having a whole little crisis over being complimented for her appearance without implicit pressure to be more feminine for the first time ever
anyways
i still can’t get over the name monsieur lefleur 
rapunzel summarizes hervanian culture as “brash but can be funny; distrustful but not mean-spirited” so, basically, they are americans
she is feeling very Prepared to meet with them, in contrast to every other time she’s met with foreign dignitaries or nobility before this. eugene tries to warn her that cass is PISSED with her and she just brushes him off, as one does, by saying that cass is “not all bubbles and moonbeams” but that she is “a softy” inside. 
of course this leads up to cass blowing up and going off while rapunzel tries to calm her down and just - groan this line. 
“People don’t change! You told a criminal a detail that puts my entire future at risk!”
how many times have i said “cass doesn’t act this way in tts” i feel like it’s a constant drumbeat. but i have to say, again, that cass doesn’t act this way in tts. i don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to think like this, given that her father is essentially corona’s chief of police and she idolizes him, but i feel the need to reiterate that there is zero sign of cass having this mindset in tts proper. and it does sort of bother me when people read this into cass’s character because it undermines and delegitimizes her dislike of eugene in early s1. 
which like. tts itself sort of frames their mutual dislike as a mutual problem, but it’s... really not? and imo the best illustration of this is in this exchange from cassandra vs eugene: 
CASSANDRA: Unbelievable. Did you eat all the cookies?
EUGENE: I’m not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies; I’m saving mine for later.
CASSANDRA: Ugh– you are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader!
EUGENE: [scoffing] You know, I can rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality, too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn’t feel right about doing that!
this is the dynamic every time they squabble in early s1. 
1 - eugene does something selfish or thoughtless - in this case taking all the cookies and milk for himself. 
2 - cassandra calls him out for it, and he doubles down, often taking a potshot at her in the process. 
3 - cassandra gets mad and calls his behavior what it is (self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant)
4 - eugene gets defensive and insults her as a person, typically with variations on calling her icy / unfeeling / humorless / joyless. 
which is to say, their fights are initiated by eugene’s poor behavior, and cassandra attacks his behavior but eugene attacks cassandra herself. like, eugene is the dude who insults you and then goes “pfft why can’t you take a joke” when you get upset with him. that’s what this is. 
moreover, when eugene’s, for lack of a better term, residual flynn rider-ness starts to taper off, cassandra’s criticism of his behavior also tapers off, AND she gets much gentler about how she phrases this criticism once he starts to actually take it on board. but there’s no accompanying shift in the way eugene speaks to and about her - the jibes about her being humorless or cranky or soulless literally never stop and at no point does he ever seem to consider that cass might not appreciate them as much as he thinks she does. 
(to be clear, i don’t think they bother cass very much if at all - but they do create and reinforce a perception on eugene’s end that cass Doesn’t Have Feelings and the background radiation of that contributes to the toxicity that develops in season 2.)
like again, pulling from cassandra vs eugene here, eugene is extremely insulting towards cassandra even when he’s ostensibly coming to her defense: 
RANDOM THUG: Look at that, Fancy-Boots has got something to say!
EUGENE: Name-calling? Come on, we’re better than that, aren’t we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other—tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided decision making skills, but do you really want to go down that road?
ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY - besides demonstrating an obvious willingness to give eugene another chance once he starts doing the bare minimum to not be a dick to her, cassandra doesn’t like eugene because eugene is an asshole to her and takes the enormous privileges he is given completely for granted. 
saying “well she doesn’t like him because he was a criminal and she doesn’t believe criminals ever change” erases that completely and reframes the conflict as cassandra treats eugene unfairly because of bigotry that she needs to unlearn. lost lagoon takes this even one step further in that lost lagoon eugene is genuinely trying to be responsible, he is taking his new lot in life seriously. he doesn’t need cass to tell him off for acting like an ass because he doesn’t act like an ass. he shows actual interest in getting to know cass and makes an effort to break through her hostility in order to get along. unlike his tts counterpart, lagoon eugene really doesn’t do anything wrong, and that makes cassandra’s intense hatred of him on the grounds that he was a thief look completely irrational and, like i said, bigoted. 
it’s just very frustrating to me.
anyways
rapunzel tries very hard to persuade cass that it’s actually totally fine that she told eugene the secret because she just can’t keep secrets from eugene (except the lagoon which she has arbitrarily decided is totes fine to keep secret and i am pretty sure this contradiction never gets pointed out) - and cass is having none of it, and of course arianna interrupts before anything can get resolved. 
they rush out and monsieur lefleur interrupts them, asking questions about the lost lagoon. he reveals that he heard an ~elegant cloaked person~ inquiring about it in the library. he asks for the book. they say no. the red herring smells to high heavens, and the chapter ends with rapunzel subtly telling cass to hide the book ~for the safety of the kingdom~ and oh my god i just can’t handle the low stakes. 
seventeen picks up from there with cassandra’s point of view; she’s suspicious of lefleur and angsts a lot about how she has no time to train and she needs to get out of corona yada yada. her plan is literally to just walk until she finds someone to hire her on as a guard which. lol. this kid.
i feel like this is the strongest passage in the whole book: 
She said there couldn’t be any secrets between Eugene and her. But why—especially when it meant sacrificing my future and everything I held dear? I’d read about romantic love in poems, and it seemed to me like a spell. Sounded great for the lovebirds, but what about the other people.
Did I just not matter in the face of this love, even though I had been the one to risk everything to show Rapunzel the world? Was I just supposed to fall on my sword because Eugene was uncomfortable that he didn’t have every last piece of information about Rapunzel?
she has a brief argument with owl, who is a pretty obvious stand-in for her own doubts / feeling that she truly belongs in corona and doesn’t actually want to leave. but she has no choice! but it’s stormy, so she can’t leave! oh no!
(i think if tts really strongly felt she had no choice but to free corona, a measly thunderstorm would not be enough to stop her.)
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