#like it sounds jokey and good-natured but could just as well be a thinly veiled angry threat y'know
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brain just reminded me of a tiny inconsequential thing from work and now I feel absolutely horrible for no reason????
#like why is a coworker scolding me for chewing gum so much of a trigger that i wanna kms over it?????#several factors actually now that i think about it more#chewing gum is my comfort esp. in high stress situations#also super self conscious about having bad breath lol#and the way that coworker reprimanded me sounded way too much like the accusatory tone my father uses#like it sounds jokey and good-natured but could just as well be a thinly veiled angry threat y'know#also the sinking sick feeling of 'getting caught doing something wrong which you didn't even know was wrong to do'???#like it was just a short moment on thursday but this is all hitting me like a ton of bricks right now#idk if i'll be okay...........#was just about to try to fall asleep but now my heart is racing and i feel so so sick#all i wanna do is jump out of bed go outside and run away to somewhere no one will ever find me and become a hermit#totally irrational but it is what it is
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