#like include some of that please it'd be so funny and we're gonna need it

[bberry005]

season 2 of the pitt taking place on fourth of july is so funny. the cases they're gonna get are about to be ridiculous. one time i had to use my wilderness first aid training on myself because i was collecting sparklers from 8 year olds and held the hot part against my finger ON PURPOSE. they better lean into how hilarious that shit can be instead of it just being traumatic case after traumatic case because it's a holiday for the drama

[couldtheybekira]

Catching Kira is overrated. Let's talk about not getting caught as Kira.

This is the reverse of @couldtheycatchkira where I give you a character and you determine if they could survive as Kira.

Important note: Assume the character is completely willing to be Kira. @wouldtheybecomekira already exists.

Second important note: "Being Kira" just means continuous use of the Death Note to kill. They don't have to get into the whole "God of a New World" thing if they don't want to.

There are six categories:

Never caught or suspected: Not only does this character live to actually create their new world, but nobody ever suspects it was actually them! I better not see you vote people into this category just because you like them or it'd be funny. Actually it being funny is valid

Suspected but never caught: It's about a five percent chance. They live to make their new world, and while people have certainly suggested it being them, and some believe it, there's just not enough evidence to convict them

Suspected only by whoever caught them: The general public was fooled, but someone, likely an enemy of that character in their canon, caught on to them and brought them to justice.

Suspected and eventually caught: Look, not even Actual Kira was perfect. They slip up little by little, and they get caught.

Caught almost instantly: Oh, all of that character's worst enemies die day one? Yeah, if they don't stop to think, it's pretty easy to lead investigators straight to them before Ryuk has the chance to not tell them some critical information.

Known, but can't be caught: In other words: "I'm Kira, whatcha gonna do about it?" For characters whose abilities outside of the Death Note mean that facing the law is barely even a possibility for them. (This one is a late addition, so early polls won't have it.)

(Results/Unqualified To Say): If you don't know, don't answer. I do try to include supplementary information when I know the character, and get it out of the submitter when I don't, though.

When you submit a character, please include their source media, and if you can, an image of them from their source media.

Additionally, ever so often we'll run polls about the Shinigami Eyes Deal and Relinquishing the Death Note and your memory of it.

For the Shinigami Eyes Deal:

Takes the Eye Deal instantly: As soon as it's on the table they accept. Yes, they did hear the part about losing half their remaining life span. They said they accept.

Takes the Eye Deal eventually: They'll come around to it, or if they think they don't have that long a natural lifespan left anyway.

Takes the Eye Deal due to desperate circumstances: They're forced into a bad spot and just need to get someone off them right now, or their life is gonna shortened by a lot more than half.

Uses someone else who took the Eye Deal: You can choose who, and what circumstances allow this to even be possible.

Never takes the Eye Deal: They just don't. Ever. It's either not worth it, it's too easy, whatever.

For Relinquishing the Death Note

Relinquishes Death Note permanently; no longer needs it: They've done what they needed with the notebook. I know I said we're assuming they're completely willing to become Kira, but we never said anything about staying Kira.

Relinquishes Death Note permanently; only way to survive: Investigators are getting too close to their trail and if they're interrogated they'll definitely crack. It's possible they also make someone else become Kira, but this is a one-way street. They do not remember this, ever.

Relinquishes Death Note temporarily; never regains it: It's very hard to stick to a plan you don't remember making. They relinquish the notebook with the intent of getting it back, and simply never do. Either to a change of heart, circumstances not allowing it, or what have you.

Relinquishes Death Note temporarily; regains it: The perfect alibi, perfectly executed. You can fill in the blanks for what their plan was and how it works, they're Kira, they'll do it.

Never relinquishes Death Note: Again, they just don't.

And also also, you can submit strategies for what you would do if you're Kira! These can be found under the tag "Kira's strategies," and are polled with the following options:

Flawless Strategy; Why didn't Light use this, is he stupid?

Great Strategy; On par with Light

Okay Strategy; Anyone could think of that

Poor Strategy; You've made some critical oversights

Terrible Strategy; This would get you caught faster

[iri-desky]

○ Hi, TikTok people! ○

Soooo, I rarely ever make posts that address current events like this. Additionally, I doubt that most people on TikTok will be take refuge on Tumblr of all places. That being said, if you happen to be a newcomer to this site who came from TikTok, welcome! It's so nice to have you here!! We're so glad to see you. Now, here's the thing about Tumblr-- Tumblr and Tiktok are basically polar opposites. Lemme rephrase that; there's a lot to learn if you don't know much about here.

So, here's some tips to get you started!

[ Press "keep reading" to continue! ]

• Reblog, reblog, reblog. Reblogging is a way for artists, text posts, and other posts to get seen! It shows them to more people since this site really doesn't have any algorithm. You can reblog literally anything you want as long as the post doesn't have reblogs turned off. Did that text post make you laugh? Reblog it! Did you like that fanfic concept? Reblog it! Did you like that art? Reblog it! You don't need to if you don't want to, but it's very much allowed. "Will I cross someone's boundaries if I reblog too many times?" Nope. Reblog as much as you want, be as weird as you want. Plenty of artists on here take it as a compliment and a sign of excitement. You don't need to be as afraid on here.

• THERE IS NO ALGORITHM!! Everyone on Tumblr over here is equal and clout means basically nothing over here. We just like cool art, funny stuff, and cool ideas. Post your stuff to the tag and just watch as people who are interested in it come to you. We're just here to have fun--this isn't a game of clout. Sit back, relax, and find your people! The days of clout are no more.

• We Tumblr users LOVE reading and writing! It's in our nature. So you're probably gonna see a lot of long posts on here with blocks of texts. Don't be scared of it, check some of them out! That said, short but sweet posts are fun over here too. Feel free to type as much as you want. We have unlimited text over here! It's so cool.

• Speaking of writing and tags, remember how you had to censor your words on TikTok? No need. You can say literally whatever over here and you don't have to fear getting banned. The days of "unalive" and "sewer slide" are ALSO no more. SPEAKING OF WHICH. A lot of users still put tws on their posts and tags. If you're shoving it in the tags, PLEASE do not censor it. It won't filter it if they're using a blacklist.

• The first thing you should do over here after you get your account set up if make your blog look special. Change it to whatever color you want, change the font of your title, change your title to something funny, and change your pfp and banner. It's all to make it you! It also doesn't matter if it's something random for now--us Tumblr users are very wary against bots, and we often block anyone who doesn't have a customized account. Just take your time and have fun, but make sure you don't get blocked by the people you don't want to block you over something silly like looking like a bot!

• You can post videos on here too! Feel free to upload old TikToks you save! I've seen a lot of other TikTok refugees who want to see some old content. I never was on TikTok, though I think it'd be neat to see your old stuff.

• There's lots of communities on here for even the smallest of stuff. If you have a niche interest, go ahead, include it into your introduction-- no one will judge on here and you just might find someone else who's just as crazy over it. You can check the tags for other people who posted about it, too! It's fun to go scrolling through the tags. I included Ducktales 2017 in my interests list--I didn't lose any cool points. I even still post about it! Literally be as weird as you want. We don't care, you have no limits. This is a fandom haven!

• You can have opinions here. Post about the most random crap you want and spit whatever opinions you have, people are very non-confrontational on here. Use your blocklist, you have it for a reason. Blacklist tags you don't want to see. Again, be as weird as you want. You WILL find your people. Just don't go fighting people--unlike TikTok, we'd rather live our lives on here and having beef with other people isn't going to give anyone any clout. You're GOING to see upsetting stuff and opinions that conflict yours (after all, there's no algorithm), but that's okay. Just engage in your interests, speak your opinions, block when you neef to, and enjoy.

Other tumblr users, feel free to add any extra points in the replies!

Oh, and if you're a TikTok refugee who happened to read this, feel free to introduce yourself in the replies. I like meeting new people and it'd feel nice to know this helped someone!

~ Sincerely, Iridesky, a weird individual who loves writing and has way too many interests to count

[mekkatoniks]

Alright y'all, first Sunnyblr post but this one is real important to me because it includes both something that is threatening TO ME as a writer and also something I see as mischaracterization which is something I despise. My apologies if I can't put this together in a better way, I feel real anxious right now lmao. You may have seen the clip, maybe two, of Glenn talking about AI. This has caused a major reaction, originally down on Twitter (bcs. of course) and I guess I'm here to provide the whole thing, in writing.

First thing's first I wanna reassure you that Glenn did not use AI in the writers room. He views AI as a threat.

I watched the whole interview when it came out and here's the summary: He says he was personally surprised by the quality of the AI at writing jokes, some time after Matt expresses that he doesn't view ChatGPT/AI to be "good enough" to really interfere with writers (may have to check up on this wording). They did not use this material in the show. Charlie and Glenn did this only to test it. This follows by him saying he thinks we're gonna get to a point where eventually we'll have to accept the way things are going (at the point we're at already I think we can't really fight AI here, but put protections in place for writers against AI and its improper usage, so using it to solely generate ideas, using it as a replacement for writers as a whole, etc), that it's a tool people will have to learn to use, but that ultimately there'd still need to be at least one human in the room to curate it all because there's never really going to be a fully finished product (which isn't an endorsement of that type of heavy AI usage, seems more like an observation and that AI will always still have limits).

Jay continues from this saying that even if it does create a fully finished product, there'll still be the appetite for people to tell stories to other people, and that for every big shift it stays the same. Jay is also in agreement that it'd be a tool but that it isn't something to be scared of, just more aware of; he doesn't view it as a threat. Glenn replies that he does view it as a threat and continues to talk cynically about it, saying we could be close to having just one guy and then your writers room is entirely chatbots (this is not spoken as a good thing obviously. It's kinda comedic but there's truth in it especially for cynical people I suppose). Matt makes a joke about that being Glenn's dream and Glenn laughs about it (it was pretty fucking funny) and is like "i'm a bit misanthropic ur right lol". When Matt begins speaking again Glenn jumps in to say that he is not saying that it's a good thing, which is more likely to be in reference to AI as well. At the end of the question Jay says he stands with the WGA and Glenn agrees. That is all that is said in that portion of the interview. So I suppose the end point is... he doesn't support AI, certainly not to the extent some are making it seem.

I get major anxiety when it comes to things like this - as in, people reacting to something in a way that indicates they have misinterpreted or don't have the full thing or anything like this, it legitimately makes me feel sick. I can understand people's reactions at least because AI is a threat! That's why the WGA wants protections for writers from the improper usage of AI, because they've drawn similar conclusions and want to prevent it. Fuck, I'm a writer. I of all people would understand how this affects anything. But this specific situation is not one that really calls for the type of reaction it has received? It's gotten to a point where people have started attacking him for real petty reasons like appearance because of it. It's immature, unnecessary, and really just low.

If I've had the most uncritical thinking moment in the whole universe and you think there's something really wrong with the way I have viewed the situation, that I've been the one to misinterpret it, then please be civil about it. Or even if there's a point you want to just bring up. Due to issues I have, I avoid posting about a lot of things because I'm always focused on getting things right and the idea that I may be getting it wrong, in a space where people can see (and let's be honest there's always a chance of seeing the most vile shit in response and I feel anxious over it for days which is unhealthy), is distressing to me. But I'm slowly putting myself out there lol, I mostly just came here to give comfort to anyone or assuage much of their anxiety as possible. I do not at any point want to look like I'm dickriding but this is something I feel has truly been perceived wrong by a lot of people! I think the timing of everything, being asked that question and answering it during the strike, has definitely contributed to a lot of this and tension is high for a lot but I genuinely think Glenn's answer as well as Jay's were nuanced for the time they had to answer it (they can't go on too long) and I appreciate that. Thank you for reading!

[gren-arlio]

I think we're back to being consistent for a bit. Welcome to Part 1 of Episode 2 of Waku Puyo Translations.

(I'll run out of cool pages eventually. Also, Schezo always seems to be connotated with flowers from my knowledge. Wonder why.)

Hello everyone, it's the funny man who does translations, and after so long...my computer is finally working as intended. Extras can take a break, for the main series is FINALLY back to business...even if this is a two, possibly three parter. This is a tiny bit late because I slept early on the weekends, but we're still alive.

I swear it won't always be like this

I'll start with the big announcement:

I have a teammate now.

Good pal of mines @kirstenonic05 will be doing things related to shop menus and the sort. So for the time being, I'll be skipping shop menus and leaving it to her. She's currently making I believe a Google spreadsheet of a TON of the items you can find in the game, including many I've missed, so...when it releases, check it out. Might help someone's run. I'll still be translating key items though, don't worry.

The plan is to finish this episode fully, drop an Extras episode, and call it a year. If something else happens...wahoo.

Anywho, here's the video itself.

Timestamps:

Bulletin and Info with Kikimora: (0:00)

Trap ability: (1:58, and completion is at 5:20)

Fufufu Info: (5:45)

"Have You Been To": (7:15)

Draco Appearance: (8:02)

There's two things I want to mention.

A lot of this is info related stuff, so enjoy Kikimora and Fufufu for a while.

Part 2 will have Sasori Man, Draco, and MORE MENUS...Yay.

With this, enjoy.

----

Intro: (0:00)

(Ah. Info boards. First menu goes:

Listen

Rank

Bulletin <-

Back

Then:

To You Who Has the Grimoire (1, I'll be numbering based off what he chooses.)

Fire Mountain (6)

Water Paradise (5)

Starlight Stage (4)

Identification Recommendations (3)

Trap Warning (2)

Back)

Grimoire stuff:

Bulletin Board:

I've found a Grimoire and I have it on me. Let me know when you want it.

When you have a Grimoire, if you can memorize it, you can learn its magic.

But if someone who can't use the powers reads it, they won't learn the spell, and the Grimoire vanishes.

It'd be a waste of treasure if that happened. Might as well sell it.

Please don't throw it away because you can't use it.

- From: A certain genius witch. (Thanks Witch.)

-----

Trap Warnings:

Kikimora:

Hello there! I'll explain traps for you.

Arle:

Alright, I was gonna ask you for a favor anyways.

Kikimora:

Alright then.

Traps are so annoying, you can't see them until you get hit by them, it's frustrating.

Arle:

Yeah, You're right.

Kikimora:

As for me, I prefer to clean them.

Arle:

Clean?

Kikimora:

That's right.

And with all the traps...All of items AND the magic circles will be clean and fresh!

Arle:

Eh? Even the items? I really hope you don't do that.

Kikimora:

Oh...I got off topic.

But really, if you can raise the level of the traps, they're not too scary.

Arle:

Level of traps?

Kikimora:

If you have the trapping ability, whenever you're caught in one, or miss one,

You can gain experience, and with that, you can get better at avoiding them.

Arle:

Trapping ability? I don't have that....

Kikimora:

What? You don't have the ability to remove traps?

Arle:

N-no...

Kikimora:

In order to remove traps, you need thr ability to see them.

Let me guide you to a special room.

----

Trap Ability (1:58-5:20)

Arle:

Wow, this is a big room...

Kikimora:

Welcome to the training room! It's a big room, and looks normal, but,

A number of traps are set up to obstruct your path until you reach the exit.

But if you make it out, I'll happily give you the trap ability.

Arle:

Really? Is that so? Then I'll do my best!

Kikimora:

Would you like some tips on how to clear this?

(They say yes)

To know the location of the the traps, you must find "The Scroll of Light."

Arle:

Yeah...but what if I don't find it?

Kikimora:

...Then you have no choice but to fall right into the traps.

Arle:

Oh, is that so...

Kikimora:

(Well, if you can fly...)

Arle:

What was that? I can't hear you!

Kikimora:

No, it's nothing.

Arle:

Hey! You better give me a better answer!

Kikimora:

Oh well...if you're in danger of getting caught in a trap...

Don't be stingy with your recovery items. Use them.

There's a few items in here that may be of good use.

Arle:

Huh...

Kikimora:

Now then, please do your best.

---

Trap Ability Completion:

Kikimora:

Congratulations! Now, I'll give you the ability to see traps.

(Arle has gained the trap ability.)

Arle:

...Am I finally going to be able to remove traps now?

Kikimora:

Yes.

...But without experience, I'm afraid you're still going to run into them.

Arle:

Aw, really? Guess I gotta practice a lot.

---

Fufufu Info: (5:45)

Fufufu:

Fufufu, I'm glad you're here.

Arle:

You're going to tell me about Identification?

Fufufu:

Fufufu, the items you see in the attractions are a mystery.

You really don't know what they're called or what they do.

Arle:

Yeah, I guess so.

I can tell if it's an item or food, but not what it does.

Fufufu:

Fufufu, in that case, you identify.

You lose MP though. But you know what the item is at least.

But if it's rare, you use more MP, so be careful.

Arle:

Alright, I see...

MP is important, but using an unknown item...isn't exactly safe.

Fufufu: (from here on I legit forget if he says fufufu or nah, so...I won't be adding it.)

In that case, you identify it.

If you identify, you do lose MP, but if you don't, you can't use the item.

Arle:

Hmm... is there a better way?

Fufufu:

Actually, if you do Identification, you gain some experience.

The more you identify, the more EXP you'll get, and it increases your identification level.

So with a higher level, you're more likely to find rarer items.

Arle:

Huh...

Fufufu:

If your Identification level is too low, it'll be hard to identify.

So failing to identify costs more MP, and by then, you'll be out of it.

Arle:

Hmm...By the way, how do you know your Identification level?

Fufufu:

You can check it in "Special Abilties", at the Status menu.

Arle:

I see...thank you! I'll try to identify items often.

Fufufu:

Fufufu, I wish you luck.

-----

"Have You Been To": (7:15)

There'll look weird so bear with me.

Bulletin Board:

Have you been to the Starlight Stage yet?

The attraction is filled with enemies who control sound and lightning, along with traps.

If you're not good with loud sounds, proceed with caution.

---

Have you been to Water Paradise yet?

The attraction has enemies that can control the water and the cold, along with traps.

If you don't like being wet or cold, proceed with caution.

---

Have you been to Fire Mountain yet?

The attraction holds fire-controlling enemies and traps.

If you dislike the heat, proceed with caution.

-----

Draco Appearance: (8:02)

Draco:

(I can't translate it well but she's literally breathing fire.)

Arle:

You! What're you doing!?

It's dangerous to just blow flames here! Watch where you're doing!

Draco:

Gao! You can't go through here!

Arle:

Why are you so rude to me!?

Draco:

I can't let anyone in without a ticket.

Arle:

If it's tickets-- I have them!

Draco:

Really? No way!

Arle:

What? But I have the ticket?

Draco:

Ugh, you're persistent! I can't let you in without a ticket...

Arle:

You're the persistent one! I've been telling you that I do have tickets!

Draco:

Eh? You sure?

Arle:

It's what I've been saying. I have tickets, here!

Draco:

You know, you could've said it from the start!

Arle:

I HAVE!

Draco:

I know, can't help myself sometimes. You can enter.

Arle:

I'm tired...

Carbuncle:

Gu!

----

And with that, Part 1 is finally done. It's nice to be back to the groove of this. With this, that'll be all for now.

Adios.

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 14: Alibaba’s Answer [Part 2]

With no context it's like they're just chatting

This is still so fucking hilarious. The fact that he just went and said, yeah, pretend we didn't lose any right and all that, pretty please

She needed a moment to process it.

I feel like the manga showed better how Alibaba's 100% aware his argument is bullshit, but this one might be a bit overthinking on my part. In the manga simply Alibaba's and Ka Koubun's thoughts align, where here we only get Ka Koubun being like this is bs, and Alibaba thinking the argument is forced. It's not as jarring as many other changes, but can be misunderstood if you're not paying attention.

When the princess actually decides to tell the Emperor about some bratty prince's pseudoarguments, rather than disregard them entirely right away.

It's a slight difference here. In the manga Alibaba thinks more about Kougyoku's lack of authority and the fact that she doesn't want to get married, while in the anime he comments how she folds easily under pressure, and then the marriage thing. Obviously, I like the manga version more - there's more of Alibaba understanding the circumstances, but the anime isn't that bad either, as it frames it as him just being able to read her that easily.

One day his bs will save your country, you don't even know

Still, you gotta appreciate the fact that she didn't actually fold that easily.

Also, yeah, yeah, Kougyoku spam. She's my beautiful daughter, I'll do what I want.

Your time to shine, Womanizer of the Seven Seas (fuck you, tho, not literally)

But also Jesus fuck. I wasn't sure bc of the wording, tho looking back, yeah, it was obviously that, but he's just saying that, yeah, Balbadd's joining the SSA, so it'd be hard for the Emperor to try to conquer Balbadd, and I'm like, bro, you've been waiting for this moment.

Ok, a change, in the manga Sinbad is surprised to have Alibaba join in. And also Alibaba is, once again, much calmer about it. Here he does kinda look like he's clutching at straws, while in the manga he was talking like it was obvious, how did you not know about it?

But also, it does make me think about that time he later used Sinbad's name to get the pirates sent to Sindria, rather than potentially becoming slaves and all that. It's kind of funny. But in his defence, Sinbad started, and he just rolled with it, and also later did the same again, so.

God, she looks so tired.

Can't blame you, girl.

Grl no

The way he's just running after her yelling "Himegimi! Himegimi!" XDDD

"This really just happened?"

The way his shoulders just fell

Proud dad

Honestly, that's a really sweet moment

Shame it's about to get really, really bad soon

Grl no

GRL NO

NO GRL NO HE'S AN ASSHOLE

Live Ka Koubun reaction

Ok, so, stuff changed. In the manga Alibaba tells them more to do, Sahbmad & Barkak included, while some stuff is skipped, which, alright, but then we have Barkak being like, yea, people will call for our execution alongside the previous kind, so let us atone for our sins by death, and like ???? First of all, in the manga it's Alibaba who says that people will want 23rd executed, but he'd rather send him to be held in confinement, since he still doesn't want to kill his own brother, and then he's like there's no laws yet, anyway. In the naime there's, like I've said, this whole Barkak being yo so we're gonna die, too, k, and Alibaba's like how about no there's no laws for it anyway, I need you guys to help build a republic, and like. Is it for the sake of drama or what. Also he kinda makes it sound like he wants 23rd to help, too, he doesn't even mention the confinement.

Kinda lmao

speech time

Huh, I thought it'd be a bit longer, but we cut to Banker really fast

I mean. It looks a little silly. I know it's about there being a lot of them, but it looks like these birds are simply that big

I can't believe Aladdin just exploded

Bye bye, Aladdin!

Ok, back to speech. And also the building is so pretty.

How loud is he speaking, actually.

Oh, hi there, in the manga... tbh, I don't think we know where you are in the manga.

You're about to stop smiling very, very soon

: ' )

Also, ngl, The Bravery is growing on me a little bit. It has that nostalgic feel to it, y'know? It reminds me about SAO's Crossing Field a little.

[warrior-cats-hot-takes]

Pinned Post

Guidelines! They are very important for a confession blog because people can VERY easily get out of hand! 1) Confessions that include usernames will not be posted.

Like, callout posts? If you send in something like "I think that [person] is a racist because they like berryheart", that is not gonna get posted. However! If you send in something like, "I think people who like Berryheart are racist", I WILL post it. So that you can get clowned on.

2) Me posting a confession does not mean that I agree with it.

I might, I might not, there's no way to know so do not try to ask. If you ask for my opinion on something, there's a low chance that I'll actually respond.

3) Really fucked confessions are not going to be posted.

If you have death threats in your confession, it is not going up. This includes joking about it, such as, "I'm going to [something something] Squirrelflight fans because I fucking hate her!" I do not care if you post character hate, but don't include fucking death threats? That's weird, bro.

Rules will be added as they become necessary! I am forgetful, so I won't know right away what needs to be prohibited! Please be patient with me ^^" As for other information, that section is right here! Below the little cut off line so that this isn't too long and rambly! (It's nothing totally important, you don't need to check before sending in a confession, just a little mascot character!)

I'm gonna talk about the blog mascot and just how they will work and function?

This is the guy! He's a silly character with a silly name, not meant to be taken seriously at all. I also don't plan to add reaction images for every post because that sounds exhausting, but when you think "who is the blog admin?" think of him! He's. basically a fursona I guess??? Like he's not but also yeah that's the purpose he is gonna be serving here. Some information about the character: - Their eyes stay closed most of the time, rarely ever open. They're practically unseeing? Like, most of the day they just rely on their ears and whiskers to get them where they need to go. This is because the world, as they see it, is overwhelming. It's too bright and it hurts their eyes. But they do open them sometimes! - I thought it'd be silly and fun if their eyes were like "based or cringe"? Like, if you drop a bad take around her then she's just gonna slowly open the red-x eye to look at you judgementally? I thought it'd be funny! - Curiousmind is not in a clan at all, and nobody really knows what clan they originally started in? He just stays with a clan for a few days and then goes to a different one. When he visits, he hunts for them and helps with any chores. If you asked me why the clan cats LET him do that, especially since we're experiencing A Starless Clan rn which is all about the borders and the crossing of those borders, I,,,,,, don't really know. I don't have a reason, that's just what Curiousmind does. If he ever is attacked and told to leave, he will do so right away and then tattle to the other clans about it.

[aetheternity]

I promised a post about Mika and how Hoyoverse fucked him up forever ago but I was trying to finish like fifty other wips. I'm nearly done with one at the time of writing this so here's the Mika post absolutely no one asked for.

Let me start off by saying I think this little munchkin is adorable. He definitely has the same kind of things going for him as every other playable character up until this point. A lot of random accessories like tassels, belts etc. And the symbols on his clothes feel very Mondstadt. I enjoy characters the most when they have very aesthetically pleasing outfits. (Venti and Aether are the best examples of this for me). So Mika's outfit was automatically very eye catching for me.

However I do believe he does not look like he belongs in this game. I've noticed other people saying it too but for me personally he just feels so oddly disconnected from the other PC's (I'm just gonna write PC's for playable character instead of spelling the whole thing out over and over and over again.)

Like every PC is automatically noticeable and obvious if you stand them in a group of NPC's but for Mika he's got this brighter color scheme that clashes with character's like Jean and Kaeya who when he stands next to them have darker colors on their outfits. So he stands out more than they do. Maybe if he stood next to like Venti it'd be less noticeable. His hair also is so so bright and most Mondstadters have darker hair or natural looking hair colors except for Sucrose, Klee and Diona (even perhaps Bennett and Razor.)

Like seriously look at him in comparison to everyone else in this shot. He's almost more of an eye sore than Traveler. I'd actually argue that he is more of an eye sore than Traveler. But to be fair Traveler's outfit has gotten two years of time to get used to in comparison. But you know what enough about that let's discuss why Hoyo fucking hates him.

Not only did they give Mika the Scaramouche treatment. Which btw is far far worse for Mika seeing as he is the second to last introduced Mondstadter. He was also dropped right in the middle of: Cyno's first banner (a character people have been excited for for two years). The second part of the Sumeru archon quest, Scaramouche's reintroduction and backstory drop and in an event that already had so many beloved characters that we are already extremely accustomed to/love!

This event will also be gone in a couple more weeks (at the time of writing this.) So people who start playing after 3.1 aren't even going to completely understand how egregiously Hoyo fucked this poor baby up. He's had no mentions literally anywhere before this and was thrust upon us with no warning in the worst way possible. Funny that a post I made like a month or two ago is relevant again. The part where I said Hoyo screws their four stars with shitty writing tactics.

He's supposedly a character that was on Eula's exploration team and they made him feel like he was just created a couple weeks before the update dropped. Why has Eula never mentioned him before???? In fact no character has mentioned him before now. They threw in some random voicelines for him from a couple of the knights and called it a day.

Idk maybe this wasn't their fault and they were forced to include him for some behind the scenes reason but this is the worst character introduction they've had so far.

The worst part for me is that he has nothing to even stand out now that he does exist. He's a cryo polearm apparently so he's gonna automatically be outshined by Rosaria game play wise. Not to mention we one hundred percent didn't need another polearm user.

They gave him far too little screen time to really judge his personality which means we've gotta wait till he shows up again and lord knows when we're gonna get another Mondstadt event. Because I highly doubt they're going to drop him into any story quests any time soon. And who knows if/when he's getting a hangout because the Sumeru four stars are definitely getting their's first. This is definitely the most frustrated I've been at a character introduction in this game.

Also I had no idea where to put this. But his weird little ponytail thing annoys me a little. It reminds me of when I was in high-school and a girl would offer to put a boy's hair in a pony tail. But his hair would always be too short so she'd tug the tiny near nonexistent strands into a hair tie and it'd end up looking similarly to that.

Like it's so stupid just cut that part off or let those hairs roam free it's so weird looking 😬 anyway. I'm done ranting if you read this far I'm kind of shocked actually but regardless thank you. This is such a random post but I needed everyone to know how frustrating Mika is to me.

I still want him though. I just wish Hoyo didn't fuck him up like this.

[punkscowardschampions]

China & America

China: [After School] China: Where are you? China: You left your clothes on the bathroom floor and he's threatening to ✂ them up and she's just sitting there nodding America: ✂💳 after buying new 👌 China: Hilarious China: but you'd have to pry his wallet out his tight arse first and he's waving the ✂ about like right now America: 😐 America: terrorist negotiations are a no no China: Oh, believe me, if he knew you were on the 📞 he'd be straight on to shout at you himself America: if he wants me to walk around naked that's his damage America: she's guaranteed not sitting there 😶 when I do China: They're your best jeans China: you already don't have enough decent gear, you're seriously going to risk it? America: they'll be my best denim cut offs America: I don't come running for him China: Because it's not freezing 11 months and a half out of the year, Ricky China: I don't either but like fuck would I let him trash any of my stuff America: move us 🏝🧉 Gaz 👏 China: You want to fake as delusional as her? China: Fine, I'll be the only one living in reality, trying to talk some sense back into the woman and stopping him from ruining literally everything we've got America: back into? America: you've got jokes China: Please China: She was never this bad before China: or at least for this long, it'd be three weeks max of the lovesick bit and then she'd always come back and be mam again America: from your 🏰 that's the view China: There's nothing about this house that's castle like but he's definitely taken the only appeals it had away China: you miss having the parties and the hangs too America: they're still happening America: Gaz doesn't run the 🌏 America: can't roll out of 🛏 onto a dance floor but it's not 😢 China: But it was better when we could throw them China: and there was no rules around here, period China: You're just giving him reason to stay, the man's a raving lunatic, instead of saying no tah it's like his new cause to fix this family and save us both China: Must've been a fucking general in a past life America: there still aren't, his don't count America: & you're not giving him a reason to fucking go so 🤫 China: You say that but any time we have to be here China: and we do, at least some of the time, we can't do what we always did before and he's calling the shots China: I'm trying to figure out what the hell that would look like, what are you doing? America: watch me America: I'll throw a party right now China: Really China: Good luck with that China: Jesus, he'll lock you up, you know he will, if he doesn't do worse beforehand America: What's Daddy Garry gonna do? Hit me? America: They'd lock him up America: & his head'll 🤯 before mine does China: You don't remember some of the boyfriends she's had China: it's not funny, for fuck's sake China: I want my life back America: the trauma hasn't run deep enough to give me memory loss & you're not old enough to play that card America: it can be anything I want, it's my life America: I remember when we had live laugh love on the kitchen wall China: You know what? China: Let him rip up all your sketty clothes China: you're being selfish, why should I help you America: now the 👖 don't know whose side you're on America: they were THE BEST when you wanted me to come back China: I'm on the side of this family China: but you only care about yourself, apparently America: you're on your own side America: you care about having your life back, not what mine looks like China: I'm the one here arguing with him for your stuff right now China: and I just want things back how they were, for all of us China: him gone and her like an actual person with thoughts and emotions about anything that ain't what he wants America: you said yourself he won't leave if I act any kind of way America: he's crusading America: & I don't look old enough to get high enough to do a mam impression America: what do you fucking expect me to do, Chi? China: Help me work this out! China: Together China: you're still here, you don't get to wash your hands of it and ignore it like Zsa does because it doesn't really matter to her China: as long as he isn't hitting any of us and maybe even then, who the fuck knows with her America: don't ! at me America: if it were that simple, togetherness could get fucked China: It ain't, that's the whole problem and what no one else seems to grasp right now China: we act up, he's got more cause to stay and get progressively worse until we can't do anything and go anywhere China: we do what he wants and stay in line, he'll probably get such a boner he'll try to marry her and adopt us America: the audacity of me taking a 🚿 in my own home China: I know China: why is he not telling her to do more washing? America: be a controlling fuckwit but make it useful America: you could be wayyyyyyyy more productive with this, sir China: I'm not saying that's right either but it's all about how WE have no respect China: she's stopped doing anything that isn't doing her 💅💄👗 for him and we're meant to do it all, apparently America: Mam has respect for his 💪🍆🍑 China: 🤮 China: It goes without saying, but he's literally fuck ugly America: but I DEMAND it's said America: he needs to know on the regs China: He's got this one wrinkle on his forehead that's so deep I reckon it could hold a ✎ China: I hate him America: if you put your 💄 in there next time he's 😪💻 , I'll let you use a DIFFERENT ONE on me China: Alright China: I'll use one of hers America: would she end it if he had 0 hair? America: or eyebrows China: His hairline is dead and she acts like she don't notice China: It's like a spell, or something America: I know someone who'd come over for a face tattoo America: or 🍆🍑 if that's all she cares about China: You do not China: and he doesn't have enough of either to cover, shh America: I do TOO China: Who? America: Si is bored enough without your parties he bought a tattoo gun online China: Oh God China: do not do it he'll be so bad, never mind the hepatitis America: & he's dyslexic China: 😂 China: I can't wait to see what bullshit he decides to misspell on himself then America: [sends her some pics because imagine] China: He's so lame China: I can't believe Gary has wrecked my chance with Jake America: his da is a fuckwit too you'd think he'd be more understanding China: like I wanna tell him anything about this China: it's shaming enough we can't throw the parties no more and everyone knows why America: he's part of the everyone, he already knows China: doesn't mean I want to go and cry about it China: I've got some pride, thank you America: he should have some America: never throws a party at his own house China: That was one of the only things we had going for us America: weakkk America: you have things going for you, ask mam when she recovers from this illness China: Okay, the main thing China: but he's going to start going out with Lucie now instead, I know it America: Lucie's been out with half his friends before him America: not a ringing endorsement, like China: Yeah, she's a right slag, and she'll do it anywhere so she don't even need the free house America: get nan out of hers, she'd do it for the sake of your love life China: We have bigger problems China: sort that one and the rest will fall back into place, yeah America: biggest problem that we don't know how to sort it America: I'll get him to hurt me 🚨🚔 we're almost there China: That's not a solution China: and they won't do fuck all about it until it's serious China: too serious to control America: is if it works America: we know he wants to throw me out the window with the 👖 America: & maybe all the boys will think I'm into some hardcore bdsm shit China: Shut up you don't know anything about that America: 👌 Jake's vanilla that's a shame China: You're 12 and that's not the kind of reputation you want or are gonna have China: that's for girls like Lucie who have fuck all else to offer so they have to go hard with that degrading shit America: told you there was more on offer from us than a free house 😛 America: but stop walking into all my traps that easy China: You're such a dick 🙄😏 China: I didn't mean that was all but fucking hell, it was clearly a big draw China: so many people are airing me right now America: you know who doesn't care about parties? America: the people you air China: Who??? America: [a list which obvs includes Bobby and Libi on it and probably Beck as well] China: So you're just going to list every random loser in school for what? America: 😐 America: & you're gonna kid yourself that there's not at least 3 boys on there hotter than Jake America: get out of your fucking ⬛ China: it's not JUST about hot though, is it China: it's all the rest America: what else has Jake got? China: He's cool America: he's not cool enough to throw a party for you America: you're bored China: I am bored right now America: What's the point of Gaz if he doesn't take her anywhere anymore? America: why's she not bored? China: Yeah get this China: they're talking about redecorating America: what.the.fuck. China: I know China: it's looked like this our entire lives because she can't afford it China: now he thinks he can come in and whitewash everything America: remember when that one before offered to put up a roll of wallpaper and she looked at him like he said he wanted to beat you to death with it America: she'd let Gary kill us China: say goodbye to live laugh love China: it'll be RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT America: he needs to fuck off or I am China: Where to China: no one's got a sofa comfy enough or the desire to do any more than offer a night America: I know plenty of people I can get to desire me China: 🖕 China: not falling for it again so soon America: no 🕷🕸 America: they're not people I want, I didn't say that China: That's not a solution, again China: this is our house China: and our mam China: we need to sort it America: I know China: I can't think around them though China: I need to get out America: meet me [wherever the hell she is rn] China: Okay China: as I have nowhere else to be rn America: bring me a jacket China: assuming you've got one left after his tantrum China: that WILL be resumed, when you're relocated 🙄 America: if he's that desperate to text me China: He's that desperate to shout 'til he looks like a 🍅 America: 😋🤤 China: If you liked it or him at all, you'd be here America: I'm waiting here for you America: with ☕ China: I'm on my way America: I'll text Jake to be here & 🏃👌 China: You will not America: you wanna see him & you're not gonna hit send China: Because I have dignity, I don't know why that's a foreign concept to you China: and I don't even want to see him America: you do, you're losing it that he doesn't wanna see you China: Don't be dramatic on my behalf China: and getting my little sister to beg for me, that's hardly going to win anyone over America: I was gonna pretend to be you China: Ha! China: I'd love to see that, not America: party trick America: if we ever have one again China: If anyone wants to come by the time we've worked this out, it'll be a miracle America: it is getting 🥱 China: Seriously China: not getting aired for no reason America: you should listen to me about nan America: have one there China: The only person who would have a party at their nans house is Libi Foley America: it is mint there China: 🙄 America: it is China: Why? She got a trampoline? 👌 America: getting low if you're getting jealous America: [but whatever pics or vids we have from being there however many times we have like] China: I don't know what you reckon is cool in [whatever year they're in] these days America: her 🏠 America: some of her friends America: but I think I scared her off China: Well forget her China: She thinks she's something special but she's so not America: you're not describing her China: Sure China: If she's making you feel shitty she's hardly the 😇 everyone thinks she is America: how did you twist it to be her fault from what I said? America: 🤯 China: You aren't scary, she can't hang America: she didn't have you green lighting her on what cool is America: that's why I can China: She's super immature America: that shit must fly cos she's super well liked too China: With other people on your list, maybe America: you know she's got friends on friends, we don't have to downplay it America: it's not gonna make us feel a new way about any of the 💩 going on China: Literally why are we talking about her China: I've got so much more on my mind America: You brought her up to veto nan's house as a party place America: cos you don't want her to hate you too China: It isn't a party place, she's an old lady China: that would be so lame China: she doesn't have a boyfriend, where are we sending her? America: bingo America: use Zsa's flat then, she has a boyfriend, he's all she ever talks about China: Her tiny one bed China: I could have a few main people, potentially America: Princess and the pea isn't a sexy story America: if you're gonna kick it like that with Jake he will fuck Lucie in the PE block China: That's his prerogative if he wants to catch herpes America: everything doesn't have to be perfect America: you 🔊 like Gary China: If Asia is going to stop talking to me, it needs to at least be worth it America: you could trash the place and she'd think she did it 🔎 for her fake gucci belt China: 🙄 China: at least we don't have to worry about her man lasting America: ✂��💖 China: I don't know why they do it America: what are you doing with Jake? China: I'm not China: not like them America: I don't believe you China: Well first off, he's actually decent looking and cool China: and that's the difference China: Gary isn't, and whatshisname isn't either China: and I'm not throwing myself at him America: he isn't cool to me America: if it was so different you'd care about that China: How is he not? America: 🤡 China: What the hell does that mean? America: he thinks he's funny and he's not China: You don't have to think he is China: you're not interested and he's not interested in you China: that's a bit different to Gary fucking up our lives and taking over our mam America: he doesn't need to talk about me ever then China: I'm sure he won't...? America: 😐 China: He's not talking about either of us right now America: 🎊🎉 China: Happy for you America: I'd be happy for you if you used the Gary situation to get a boyfriend who's less of a dick China: Like who? China: [list boys from that list] China: LOL America: 🖕 America: [because we know the boy she likes is on that list honey] China: Who do you fancy then? America: dream on, shady bitch America: I'm not revealing my secrets now China: 😂 China: Omg go on China: I'll work it out America: if Gaz keeps treating me like a little girl without the choking, spitting in my mouth or giving me euros to spend, it's not gonna matter America: he'll think I'm immature China: You're such a dick China: but he's older then China: narrows it down America: as old as you, not as old as daddy Gary China: Well I can work out who it isn't then America: you've got other shit to prioritise China: You should get a boyfriend your own age America: I'm not getting one China: When you do, then America: when I do I won't be doing a poll of our year America: he's fun that's why I like him America: the 2 years aren't what's making me 🤤 China: What's fun mean America: he can hang China: I know who it is America: happy for you China: He's okay, I guess China: if you like that sort of thing America: what the hell does that mean? China: He's a bit China: but if you like him America: a bit? China: Annoying China: but you don't have to see him around school America: I thought you had a real concern! China: I'm not mam, we've still got one China: I just don't think he's cute but he's not like, the worst China: I don't know why he hangs around with who he does though, maybe he's weird America: Jake is who you think is cute & cool so 🤫 China: He's the hottest boy in my year China: who isn't like, the preppy sporty type America: & he acts like it America: talking down to everyone China: You're dramatic America: 😐 America: he is, behaving like 👑 China: You're acting like I'm married to him, for starters China: we were never even officially going out America: cos he wants to fuck around & find out who else is 🤤 China: He can do what he likes America: with Lucie & you won't care at.all. China: 🖕 America: me getting 🍆 could bring mam out of her coma China: If she finds out before Gary China: that might actually be a decent way to look into it China: 'cos clearly, 👑 has failed to save us all America: 👌 I'll do what I can China: all you have to do is heavily hint you are, in the 0.2 milliseconds he leaves her alone America: I'll stand on the 🚽 while she's 🛁 China: Take a piss test China: that should trigger the fear response America: they're expensive America: be going in Gaz's wallet again China: nah, you can get them for a euro in dealz China: market for the skanky slags like Lucie, duh America: I'll go after school tomorrow, he won't be leaving her alone tonight after ✂👖 China: Ew China: I'm definitely finding somewhere else to be America: seconded China: This is ridiculous China: Nan's going to get fed up of us crashing at hers America: that day came a month in China: but like, fed up to the point he'll talk her out of letting us because we should 'be at home' or whatever the fuck China: 🕠 running out America: What a flirty little game of 🐈 & 🐁 America: game on, Gaz China: 🙄 China: We've got no choice so, yeah America: Where are you gonna go? China: 🤷 China: I don't know America: come with me China: Where are you going? America: When you've got nowhere else, 3rd degree questioning's pointless China: Why is it hard to answer a question? America: I don't have an answer yet China: Right China: well, whatever then America: whatever yes or whatever no? China: So you need a dedicated answer, do you? China: You invited me, shouldn't make any difference if I do or don't come, as you've got no idea where you're going America: & you think my pretend babydaddy is annoying China: He very literally is China: if you wanna talk about thinking you're funny, Jesus America: he has a basis for it America: he's got jokes that aren't about what every girl at school looks like China: He's got adhd China: I think America: When he said he was on 💊s not what I thought he meant China: He must have it bad he's so twitchy still China: and he never shuts up China: which is probably why he's friends with the deaf kid America: I take it back, you and Jake are well suited 🤡 China: What? That's not a joke China: it just makes literal sense China: he's so loud America: You're being a dick China: Oh I am not China: it's not like I'm saying it to his face America: you know I like his face & you're saying it to me China: Well you know I like Jake and you're being a dick about him so in that case, we'd be even America: he can help having a shitty personality, that's not the same as an adhd diagnosis China: okay then China: an excuse to have prescribed speed America: what's your excuse for not calling the deaf kid by his name? China: Why does it matter? China: You knew who I meant America: it matters that you're back in your 🏰 China: 🙄 Shut up China: again, not talking to him, just you America: no shit, you don't talk to anyone outside of your ⬛ America: just me China: We're sisters so China: we have to talk, so sorry America: I know how to do a smoky eye & take a drink, that's your main criteria for what a cool girl is China: You wish America: it's not something I'm prioritising pre or post Gary America: you're stuck with me anyway China: And you're stuck with me China: at the minute, that's basically all we've got China: Zsa is literally not taking it in, no surprise there China: and nan is drinking the kool-aid on him now so America: I'll bring mam back with my 🤰 it'll be fine China: **fake 🤰 America: I assumed that was clear cos of having no real 🍆 inside of me before tomorrow America: Gary probably doesn't want to kiss & make up like that, I'm only 12 China: What do you mean tomorrow? America: assuming I do the test in front of her then China: Don't require you to actually do the deed, idiot China: s'all fake, we don't need you to go have a fake abortion, Jesus America: I'm just saying we don't need to waste time typing out a distinction like **fake when it's obvious China: Don't be a twat, I was just saying China: you're so bloody pedantic today, my God America: Don't be putting some kind of tempting fate 🤰 hex on me before I've even done anything with any boys China: Don't be a little slag and nothing will happen China: not going to be me or fate doing anything about it, you're in control America: right now Gary is America: 🚫🍆 China: It's about more than that America: I know China: You don't get it America: What don't I get? China: I've lost loads of friends China: maybe all of them America: you'll get them back the parties are America: when* China: yeah America: I'm fixing it China: **WE are America: did you save my 👖? China: Yea China: I put a load of washing on China: so now you're gonna owe me a thank you China: didn't know what else to do, he likes pitting us against each other I reckon America: I bought you ☕ ungrateful bitch China: UM, I meant you're going to owe me a grovelling thank you arselick because Gary says so China: I'm behaving and you're not, right now, cheeky cow China: anyway, I'm nearly there so don't fucking bin it America: I'll put washing on when my newborn is sleeping China: Fucking hell 😂 China: It's tragic, isn't it China: I can't think of anything more tragic China: poor mam China: poor nan America: how old do you have to be before they let you get sterilised? China: Oh, so old China: tell 'em you want to live off the state forever and have 14 of 'em and maybe they'll change their fucking mind America: Gary would do it for me if he was any fucking use China: If you ever really get pregnant, the botched abortion would do it America: I'll pitch the idea to my 1st boyfriend China: Good luck America: we're in the right place 🍀 China: Are we? China: Doesn't feel like it America: for a backstreet foetus killing scheme anyway China: Whatever brightside, I guess America: you sound as tired as I feel America: how early did he wake you? I think it was still fully dark out China: I swear, only solid he's done me China: loads of time to do a full hair and make-up routine America: What classes do you even have with Jake? Like 2 China: Oh, so now just 'cos I don't want to look like a bag of shit that's all about him too? China: Are you sure YOU aren't like them? China: Ugh America: you don't look like 💩 America: it's about him if you suddenly think you do China: I don't think that I just China: I'm not winning anyone back 'round if I do America: it's about the lack of parental supervision not your lack of split ends America: on every level you know that China: It is not China: that's a big part of it, but it is not all of it America: if it's not all of it where are they all? China: There's plenty of boys who care about pretty China: even if Jake isn't one of them China: if I have a desirable boyfriend, that's fucking something America: Jake does care about pretty, that's his main priority America: & why he's a dick to me China: You should've said China: you fancy him America: I'd fuck Gary before him, you delusional cow China: Ha, okay China: you're the one who's so hung up on how he treats you China: I'm so sorry he doesn't fancy you back but I'm actually not because you know I like him America: cos I want you to give a shit that your not boyfriend is like bullying me China: Wow, bullying now, really? America: you're asking for me to throw this ☕ at you China: I won't even come if you're going to be this China: melodramatic China: what do you mean bullying you? America: I mean every party you've thrown he's said something unnecessary to me China: Can you be more specific or America: can you not take my fucking word for it? China: Well not really China: like, if he's just made some passing comments it's not really bullying, is it America: 😐 America: 👌 make excuses for him & keep telling me you're doing things different China: For God's sake China: since when are you so sensitive? America: I've kept my mouth shut until literally now China: As you said, literally, he's joking America: I'm tired & I've typed the name Jake more times than I've ever wanted to China: You can't just accuse people of shit they haven't done China: if it was that simple, we'd say Gary was touching us and ta-da, problem solved America: I'll go down that route if the 🤰 fails China: It's not a fucking joke China: fuck this America: it is if you think I'm living like this for the next 6 years minimum China: You think 4 makes it any more palatable? America: telling a lie to get rid of him is the least of what I'm prepared to do China: I can't think straight right now China: save your ☕ I'm gonna go somewhere else America: Chi China: It's fine America: you're basically here China: I'm going China: I've got plans now America: you do not China: I do now America: with who? China: None of your business America: with who China: Who do you think China: happy now? America: what.the.fuck. China: Leave it alone America: Have you been talking to him all along? China: No, actually China: though I'm sure you won't believe me America: can't believe a word any of you say America: I hope he gives you herpes China: Nice America: You're not, why should I? China: You started this China: and for your information, I've never slept with him, or anyone else America: I did NOT China: then you got in my head America: not on purpose China: I've got my own life America: that wasn't in question China: I don't need your pity America: I don't feel sorry for you China: Good America: I'm fine too, thanks for asking China: You've got friends, who don't just use you for parties China: as you've been so keen to rub in America: & you're calling me over sensitive China: Joke all you lie China: k* America: you think Jake's are better China: Yeah, I do America: 👌🍆😗 China: Jealous much America: LOL China: Enjoy pining after Tweak America: 🖕 China: Enjoy your evening, that's my plan America: talk yourself into it harder America: maybe you will China: 👌🍆😗 America: 🤮🤮🤮 China: I'm not faking a pregnancy America: Lucie's not fake swallowing China: Ugly girls have more to prove America: you 🔊 like Jake America: he'll be excited as hell China: yeah he will America: 🎊🎉 he can stop trying to suck his own dick 🥳 China: you're just a kid China: let me know where you end up, Zsa's or nan's China: and I'll take the other 👌 America: you can take either cos I'm doing neither China: You know what, fine China: I shouldn't be the one doing this America: What this do you mean? Whoring yourself out to Jake or pretending you care what I'm going to do China: Looking after you China: are any of them in your messages? doubt it China: he's got no right and he goes too far but at least he'll be giving a shit where you are America: I don't need tabs kept on me, I'm going to MJ's not to 🍆 or 💊💉 China: 👍 America: I had a feeling Gaz wouldn't be stepping up to make 🍝 China: I can thank him for the diet too America: he'll be thrilled to hear about the 🍆😗 part of it China: I'm not planning to regale him with it China: 'cos not tempting an assault tah America: Mam & Zsa will have more useful tips China: I don't need them China: thank God America: just Jake telling you what he likes 💖 China: Piss off America: 🏰👑💖 China: Yeah, really feel it America: he'll make you feel really good about yourself China: What would you know about it, Ricky? America: it's what you want him for, I know that China: Why wouldn't I want that? China: Just because you've not had it ever America: Why can't you get it from someone else? China: Because I like Jake China: end of America: 😐 China: and every girl but you does too America: [lists all the girls that don't aka the lesbians, other girls he has shaded and girls like libi who are shamelessly in love with someone else/have boyfriends they care about even a little bit] China: 🙄🙄 China: You've got too much time on your hands China: not going to list every girl that does China: you know who I meant and that it's true America: I just spent a decade I won't get back waiting for you China: I wasn't about to come to MJ's and beg for food with you so America: I didn't invite you there, it's where I'm going now since you're on a Jake's jizz diet China: Don't be gross America: It's you who likes him 🤢 China: It's you who keeps talking about his dick China: like, stop America: I'm desensitising you America: so you can bear to look at & touch it China: I don't need that America: then this is me 🤫 China: 👍 China: Thanks China: Guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, or just before, pretending we've been 🛏 or purposely showing we're just coming in China: who knows what will be more effective in the AM America: you do one, I'll try the other China: Yeah China: know which one you'd prefer China: I'm not playing nice so you don't have to, like I always have America: you weren't playing when it was just you & mammy America: neither was I China: She was fun China: before America: I know China: What's not to like America: as her favourite, you would say that China: 🙄 America: & it doesn't matter who she was America: she's a zombie now China: we'll get her back America: What's the cure for swallowing Gary's bodily fluids? China: She's had worse China: equally as bad America: built up immunity China: There's no immunity to shitty men America: as you've proven China: pot kettle America: I don't like Jake, you're deluded China: I wasn't talking about him, moron America: 🖕 China: No, he seems like SUCH a cool, chill guy America: you'd be a shady bitch whatever you think he's like cos you're mad I don't wanna hop on Jake's 🍆 China: Yeah, SO mad China: you're twisted China: and delusional if you think it'd be any kind of competition America: you admitted you want me to be jealous & that his appeal is everyone likes him so yeah America: your priorities are twisted China: When did I? America: read any of this chat back China: 👍 Good one China: I really don't care what you think China: your taste is clearly trash America: I'd follow your ☕ into the bin but it'll make me late for 🍝 China: 😱 China: Can't have that China: I'm waiting for my bus, talk later America: 👋

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Roussimoff vs Hogan (Fic part 119) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

"Mon sauvage, I love you so fucking much." She whispers as she kisses his jawline.

"I love you so much too. More than anything."

"More than anything, hmm? Including pancakes?"

"I'd give them up for you in a heartbeat."

"I won't say what just popped into my head, you'd laugh." She murmurs.

"Only if it's funny." He grins.

"I was gonna suggest you pour maple syrup or whipped cream on me instead of pancakes." She whispers.

"It'd be sticky as hell with syrup, but whipped cream is something I'm definitely up for."

"You'd be up for covering me with whipped cream? Would you like to lick it off my body?" She teases.

"That's the idea. And maybe not your whole body, but parts."

"Like my boobs, is that where you imagine this idea going?" She questions, kissing his neck and nipping at his flesh.

"That's one location, yes."

"Where else, baby daddy?" She purrs in his ear as she gently grinds her hips against his.

"Along your back. That beautiful line up your back that divides your muscles"

"You like my muscles, don't ya Shaney?"

"Absolutely love them."

"So you don't mind that my arms are covered in tattoos, or the fact that I have scars for dumb reasons, you genuinely have nothing but love for me." She whispers before kissing him deeply.

"How could I have anything but love for you?"

"I don't know, but I just like hearing about how much you love me, it makes me feel beautiful."

"You are beautiful. So goddamn beautiful."

"I think you and dad would have agreed on that. Dad would tell me I was the cutest kid he'd ever met, he would tell me every time I felt bad about myself that, one day, I'd grow up to be a beautiful woman, with a brilliant mind."

"Somewhere, he's bragging to everyone who'll listen that he was right."

"Drinking a hundred beers and bragging, yep, that would be my dad." She chuckles gently.

"He's proud of you."

"I just realised something, I was orphaned twice. I hope no one else ever goes through that."

"Some people do. It's the worst, but it happens."

"It'll never happen to our kids, never." She states matter-of-factly

"Course not. We're not gonna kick any bucket for a long time"

Kirby pulls Helms into a tight hug, "mine, my husband, Shane." She whispers to herself in an attempt to keep composed.

"Yours. Forever."

"We should go to work, mon mari."

"Guess so, huh?"

Kirby pulls away, wiping tears away from her eyes and breathing deeply, "yeah, don't want to risk being late."

"Let's go kick ass."

"Yeah, or rather, let's go get written off tv for a while." She jokes as she grabs her satchel, making sure she has everything she needs.

"I'll kick ass and take names. You take ass and kick names."

Kirby shakes her head, trying not to laugh at the comment and grabbing the car keys before walking out of the room. He locks the room behind them and takes her hand as they walk down to the car.

"Have I told you how handsome you are, mon ange?"

"Maybe, but I still like hearing it."

"You're incredibly handsome, mon amour, perfection made human."

His cheeks get a little pink at the praise. "Wouldn't go that far." He chuckles.

"Why not, it's true." She states matter-of-factly.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, you are perfection made human, Shane. Shane 'Perfection' Helms'."

"Shane's my middle name, you know that." He laughs.

"Yeah, but who names their kid 'Gregory'?" She teases.

"My parents." He laughs.

"Your parents should have just named you Shane, would've made things easier. I just realised something, babe, if I went by my middle name I would literally be called Andrea Roussimoff."

"Don't say that out loud, or Vince is gonna love it." He chuckles. "To be fair to my parents, I wasn't even gonna have a middle name until hours before I was born. 'Shane' just happened to be the movie playing in the waiting room."

"That is actually adorable." She murmurs, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss.

"I thought so too."

"Weird question, but do you reckon our kids would go by their first or middle names?"

"Depends if we give them good or bad names."

"Well I'm not suggesting we name any of our kids 'Gaylord' ... I actually knew a kid in elementary school, with that name." She murmurs.

"Think that was Fraser Crane's kid's middle name."

"Might have been, never watched 'Fraser' but had the entire first season re-told to me by Trish."

"Well, he had the kid when Cheers was still on." He shrugs.

"I watched Cheers but kinda forgot that Fraser was on the show, haven't watched tv in ages though, like, since Eighty-Nine, I think."

"Okay, I'll give you that. But he definitely debuted no later than Eighty-Five." He teases.

"Shane, I have slept since then, I forget things."

"Just teasing, sweetheart."

"Don't make me go all motherly and call you by your full name." She warns jokingly.

"If that happens, I may have to kiss you."

"Oh really?"

"Kiss you right into submission."

"And how do you plan on doing that? Mr Gregory Shane Helms." She teases.

Without warning, he pushes her up against the hallway wall and begins kissing her ravenously.

Kirby smirks, "if you want to have sex, we're going to have to get to the car." She teases.

"No sex. Just like getting you riled." He grins.

"Oh really, you trying to rile me up, Hurricane." She whispers as she lifts him up, making him wrap his legs around her waist and kisses him deeply.

"Damn right, sweetheart."

Kirby smirks as she puts him down, "you're a cheeky little beast, aren't ya." Her eyes seem to glass over with rage as she looks past Helms, growling out the words, "Fucking Hogan, why's he here?" As she looks down the corridor, spotting Hogan entering his hotel room.

"He got bought back with the rest of WCW."

"Yeah, and much like Nash, I thought he had elected to sit out his contract, I'm gonna fucking kill Vince if he's hired him again." She grumbles, pushing past Helms and storming to the stairwell.

"Kirby, hold up." He calls after her.

Kirby stops momentarily, holding the door to the stairwell open for Helms.

"Thanks. Now, sweetheart, you know this business has assholes in it. Guys who have no business being here. Unless they actively hurt or attack someone, there's nothing we can do about it."

"Hogan could singlehandedly destroy a whole company by political bullshitery."

"Yeah, he could. But he's also likely the biggest star that will ever be in wrestling. Until his misdeeds outweigh the money he's made Vince, he's going to look past them."

"If he comes near me, I'm knocking him out."

"I'll make sure he knows that."

"He may have been a friend of my dad, but he's always been an asshole towards me."

"He's not gonna be anywhere near you"

"He's a fucking dick head, he's just... ugh, I hate his fucking guts."

"Same."

"I wanna fucking strangle him, or kick the shit out of him."

"Not without provocation, sweetheart."

"Why not, he deserves it."

"Because outside of the ring with no cameras on, that's assault and it's a felony."

"Alright, fine, I'll restrain myself from kicking the shit outta Hogan."

"Thank you."

Kirby stays silent for the rest of the walk to the car.

"You good to drive?"

Kirby shakes her head and hands Helms the car keys. He's concerned that she isn't wanting to drive, but he isn't about to ask questions. She's understandably damn frustrated by Hogan's presence.

"I don't want to talk... I just want to go to work."

"I understand."

"I'm probably gonna be in a bad mood all day, and... ugh, just, ugh."

"You really think Hogan deserves to be in charge of your moods?"

Kirby goes silent.

"You're giving him a power he hasn't earned."

"I know." She mutters.

"Just something to think about, my love."

Kirby nods, keeping to herself.

"Can I get a kiss?"

Kirby looks at Helms for a moment before pulling Helms into a gentle kiss. He kisses her back softly, just as a quiet reminder about how much she's loved. Kirby pulls away, getting into the passenger's seat and sighing deeply. Helms decides not to push much harder than that. She's not running and probably just needs a little quiet. Kirby stays silent for the rest of the car ride to the arena. Kirby's seemingly on auto-pilot while backstage. Helms keeps an eye on her the whole time, making sure she doesn't look like she's gonna run. Kirby's so much in her own world she doesn't even notice when the Dudley boys start trying to piss her off. Helms eventually shoos them off. Kirby stays in 'work mode' for the entire show, and is still in her 'work mode' after the show ends. Helms puts his all into the performance, but is still worried as hell about her, wondering what kind of shit Hogan put her through. Kirby stays silent, shutting herself in the bathroom to keep composed. Helms eventually seeks out Big Show to ask him for help. Show's hanging out with Kane and Undertaker, the three guys know something's off by how Helms looks.

"What do you guys know about how Hogan and Kirby get along?"

Undertaker whispers an "Oh God" and Show looks like he's having war flashbacks as he struggles to find the right words.

"Is it that bad?"

Kane nods, not even trying to sum up the relationship verbally.

"What'd he do?"

"Right, at the very beginning of Kirby's career in the WWF, Hogan refused to call her anything other than 'André's kid'. Then it graduated to him ignoring her opinions in meetings and match planning. After that, he would try and say that Vince only hired her because she's André's daughter, and said she couldn't wrestle." Undertaker explains.

"Typical Hogan egomania and lies..."

"That's not even the end of it. Hogan would regularly make jokes to the NWO about her while in WCW, and threatened to slap her if he ever saw her again or send threatening letters to her house to make her stay off tv if he 'had to or felt like it'." Show adds.

"That's horrible..."

"Why do you ask? Hogan's not here is he?" Show asks, suddenly getting cautious.

"Saw him in the hotel this morning. Guess he got hired sane time as me."

"Doubt it, Hogan will sit out his contract until Vince gives him a good offer." Taker states matter-of-factly.

"Course he will, the asshole."

"Go, comfort her, she's probably crying in the bathroom somewhere." Kane suggests, trying to be polite.

"Goddammit..." Helms hisses, pissed off at himself.

"Don't hate yourself, hate Hogan!" Show calls after him.

"Hating both!" Helms calls back.

Kirby's breathing hitches as she wipes away tears, trying to calm herself as she sits in her dressing room. Helms knocks on the door gently, hoping he hasn't abandoned her for too long. Kirby gets up to open the door and pulls Helms into a tight hug. He hugs her back just as tightly, cradling her head in his hands.

"I don't want to be near Hogan." She whispers.

"You won't be. I'm keeping him away from you."

"Can you drive us somewhere, I don't care where, preferably somewhere with food."

"Just as far away as possible from here, right?"

"Yeah." She nods

"Let's go."

Kirby follows Helms, sniffling and wiping away tears. He takes her hand gently, keeping her close behind. Kirby tries to calm herself, their stuff's already in the car and Kirby's breathing hitches on occasion as she chokes back tears. Helms drives away as fast as possible to get as far away quickly.

"I love you." Kirby murmurs.

"I love you too."

Kirby goes silent, trying her hardest to stop crying.

"Let it out, my love. It's what you need."

"I don't want to work in the same company as Hogan, not after last time, not after the threats and the yelling and shouting and... everything."