#like im v much still leaning towards masc

[honeybyte]

its also crazy bc in the past few years ive changed so much in how i present myself. since i was in middle school i used to hate how feminine i looked, and i would actively try to appear masculine, and felt my skin crawl whenever i was referred to as a girl. and now im in a place where i can look and feel feminine and not hate myself for it

dont get me wrong, i still experience dysphoria! esp abt my chest. but ive done a lot of internal work to find myself at peace w how i look. there's certain aspects of myself that will always catch me off guard or bother me, but at least i'm not scared of myself anymore

[hillbillyoracle]

Androgynous/Masc Leaning Capsule Wardrobe Ideas

In honor of International Nonbinary People’s Day, I offer you the clothing advice I wish I had like 15 years ago. I prefer a small well curated wardrobe but it is so tough to pull that off as a nonbinary genderfluid person. I spent years struggling to make my capsule wardrobe work for me. Every example I saw was either with feminine clothes or with the world blandest men’s clothing. 

For reference, I’m AFAB and live in Kentucky - very hot and muggy in summers, can get quite cold (-20 F) in winter but it’s usually mild with highs are in the 30F-40F range most days. This is the advice I’d give my younger self if I could. 

Focus on 10-15 Core Items

While I am fluid, I consistently spend most of my time “inbetween” these days. Having a neutral to masc learning main wardrobe with some feminine items to mix in wound up working best for me. So here’s the masc leaning base wardrobe I recommend. 

~3 x Button Ups - I went with short sleeve Hawaiian shirts for myself because I love bold patterns. You can find a lot of Hawaiian shirt these days that don’t have stereotypical “island” patterns on them while still being pretty light and breathable in summer. If your style leans more classic, consider oxford cloth button ups. You might need more button ups if you work in a business casual setting. 

~3 x Tees - I like graphic tees, specifically hand screen printed ones so that’s what I go with. But if your style is more classic then consider investing in some good quality solid color tees. 

~3 x Casual Tops - for me this is a tank top, turtleneck, and a Henley. But you might consider a collarless button ups, plain long sleeve shirts, and ringer style long sleeve shirts. 

~3 Pants - for me, I have black and stone washed denim since those are my favorites. I look for tapered fits over skinny or boot leg where I can. I have one pair that’s a jogger style I quite like. You might look for chinos or khakis if you have a more formal dress code at work but they’ll still work with graphic tees and other tops if you style them right. 

~3 x Layers - for me this is a cardigan, a flannel, and a hoodie. You might consider v neck or crew neck sweaters, cable knit sweaters, and fair isle sweaters as well. 

Feminine Clothing Module

What’s nice about this approach is that you can then create a feminine clothing module that plays nicely with your main wardrobe. 

For me this looks like

1-2 Dresses - I have a maxi tee dress and a long sleeved linen dress since that works more for everyday wear for me. 

1-2 Skirts - I don’t have any presently but the next big feminine swing I have I’ll be ordering a nice linen skirt in my favorite color. 

1-2 Casual Tops - I don’t have any presently after my last big wardrobe edit but business casual shell tops, camisoles, and cowl neck tops work well here. 

1-2 Layers - I have a linen blazer in a women’s cut and a long striped duster. You might consider a kimono style shrug/wraps, sweaters in a more feminine cut, and women’s cardigans

You don’t need a lot here because so much of the main wardrobe can be mixed with a feminine element or two and it becomes much more feminine - especially if you’re AFAB but even if you’re AMAB. It doesn’t take a lot a feminine clothing to make an over all outfit look more feminine and subtle touches work just as well as more overt styles ime.

Sizing

Sizing is tricky as hell. I’m plus size (size 18-20 in women’s pants) and especially trying to find masculine stuff with the right fit is a pain. I really recommend going in to try things on if you’re able but if not get comfortable with the idea you will likely need to send things back. Yes you can take measurements but those measurements are still listed with different proportions in mind. 

For men’s clothes I lean toward a slightly oversized fit - as most men I’m around do. For women’s clothes, I lean toward a slightly tight fit - as most women I’m around do. Look at the people around you and see which fits they lean toward and opt for that where you’re able to for yourself. 

Shoes, Outwear, Special Occasions

Shoes - I tend to opt to go neutral in my shoes and outerwear. Not in color or pattern mind you but gender. For shoes, I currently have 3 pairs - a pair of crocs (with spikes), running shoes/sneakers (old Champion brand slip ons), and a pair of Doc Martens. These are good options if you’re AMAB too because the sizing is unisex or available in similar styles for men and women. Other good options are Vans, Chucks, any hippie sandal brand you can think of. “Nicer” shoes are great but often pretty gendered. I lean toward getting “nicer shoes” that are opposite my assigned gender when I do grab them. 

Outerwear - I also tend to opt for gender neutral options for outerwear too. Since it doesn’t get terribly cold here, I stick to a micropuff jacket from North Face and layer a black denim jacket over it when it gets cold. When I wear it with masc stuff, blends in. When I wear it with feminine stuff, it adds a slight edge I like. Pea coats are decent options as well. If you live some place real cold, a lot of the long winter coats are basically the same between genders, just different fits. 

Special Occasions - I would recommend not worrying about special occasions until or unless they come up. I have the same two “special occasion” dresses that I’ve been using for years because they come up so rarely and I can’t bare to spend too much money on something I’ll wear maybe once or twice a year. Formal wear is highly gendered and if you learn androgynous it’s a tough needle to thread. For those events with hosts you know, it’s worth reaching out to them to see what they think makes an outfit “formal” - could be nicer cuts or materials, could be rigid gender norms - can’t know until you ask. 

For most special occasions, I do not know the host, so I default very structured looks in accordance with my assigned gender. Still feels a bit edgy but no ones gonna have the guts to say it’s wrong. For AMAB folks you might do the inverse, more flowy looks and colors while still adhering to your assigned gender. All depends on the level of familiarity you have with the hosts and the flack you’re willing to catch. 

Outfits

Some masc leaning outfit ideas: 

button up, hoodie, pants, boots

graphic tee, flannel or cardigan, pants, sneakers

turtleneck, pants, boat shoes

button up, tie, cardigan, pants, chelsea boots

Some fem leaning outfit ideas: 

button up, cardigan, skirt, sneakers

shell top, wrap, pants, sandals

graphic tee, skirt, sneakers

dress, sandals

Conclusion

Hope this was helpful to someone out there! 

[blvckfeint]

ive been thinkin a lot abt gender identity and how people say that its never a choice but theyve been that identity the entire time and its like

i never gave much thought to my gender or how i presented but before i questioned my gender i just dressed femme bc that was the norm for me and i didnt have any problems with it?? like my parents never enforced anything ever i just got girly clothes for like christmas n stuff bc??? i was a gorl n thats how i identified n it was gucci. and even back further during elementary to high school (kinda) i never wore feminine clothing. maybe a v-neck and some top w a girly cut but before then all i wore were t-shirts and jeans. i was never rly feminine when i was younger and i only started getting *slightly* into it when i went into highschool bc i wanted to look more mature.

and then when i was encouraged to experiment w gender like sophomore year of college i found that ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, at my core, i am nb. it took a lot of thinking and i id’d as cis and questioning for a lil bit bc i doubted myself so much but the night that i told myself out loud that “i am nonbinary” i almost literally felt a huge weight fall off my shoulders and it felt so much more natural than calling myself a girl

and during my questioning i started thinkin back to my past and things that kinda made sense abt it like being a tomboy and not being far into traditionally masc nor feminine things and im like huh?? and it makes me wonder if the “i didnt choose to be [gender] ive been [gender] the entire time” thing is true to me or if im some Fake Nonbinary Curly Headed Fuck

ive started leaning more towards the label of genderfluid or genderflux bc it describes me but i just??? havent settled on one and i think thats why im all [holds head] abt my gender atm. i wanna experiment more w gender expression and lookin andro????????? but even tho this has been a thought for Quite A While im still wondering if im truly doing what will make me happy with myself and the way i present myself, or if im just doing it for validation and being more widely accepted as a nb person even tho thats a Shitty fucking thing to think

im le Fuckin tired