#like im sorry 99% of food on earth tastes like shit

[riderandspider]

I just have to vent.

Having an arfid is miserable.

Growing up being told "I feel sorry for whoever wants to take YOU on a date" and "If you were my kid I would've made you starve!" And "you're so spoiled because you are a picky eater" is so fucked up when none of it is your choice.

Living your life worried about how *other people* look at your meals is fucking awful. Coming home from dinners hungry is fucking awful. Being seen as a problem bc of your limited diet is fucking awful.

And trying to explain it when people get so offended. "It's not a texture issue because these two foods are pretty much the same texture so you should like both!" and "but this is my family recipe and I made it so im going to be hurt if you don't suffer through it and pretend that you like it!"

I just hate food. It's not my bc of my body, it's not my weight, it's not bc I'm disrespectful or vain or spoiled or whatever else.

Neurotypicals stop caring what other people eat or don't eat challenge.

[myficsknowwhatyoudidinthedark]

Maxx Danziger x Reader “Maxx Tries Something New”

Ok! Here we go. You can already tell by the title what this is based off of. At least I hope you do. If not, Go on youtube and type the name of this fic in to the search bar. Enjoy! (Feel free to change any of the names in my fics. I use them so I don’t have to constantly type Y/N)

(Lara’s POV)

     Maxx was currently setting up the camera for Set It Off’s newest youtube video. The fans never really got to properly see or hear from me so we figured we would throw me in this video. He finally sat on the edge of the bed and pats beside him. I scoot up and he begins to record.

     “What’s u-” Maxx began as he was cut off by me sneezing.

     “Oh. Bless you love” He says as he turn back to the camera as I laugh at his reaction.

     “What’s up you guys, So here’s the situation. I was a very, very picky eater growing up. And by that I mean I had like, Pizza, Hotdogs and that was it. I haven’t had like 99% of the food on planet earth. And by haven’t tried most food I mean like, I haven’t had strawberries, I haven’t had a kiwi, I’ve never had a pear before. Almost any vegetable on Earth.” Maxx says as he talks about how little food he eats.

     “On the plus side, He is extremely easy to buy food for. You want in to the store and then walk out of the store. That’s what food shopping for Maxx is like.” I say as I laugh and he turns and laughs and nods along. He knew that statement was extremely true.

     “True, True. So as i’m speaking to you right now, the rest of the guys are at a grocery store getting a ton of food, weird food probably, for me to try for the very first time. We figure it’s a new year, it’s 2017, year of new experiences, and because of that, i’m gonna try some food.” He says and then turns off the camera then turn to me.

     “Why am I letting them do this?” He asks. I just shrug and laugh at him. He then just leaned back on the bed and turned the television back on. He slowly made his lazy ass up to the pillows and laid back.I just laid next to him and he pulled me close so I was cuddled in to his side. Throughout the course of the wait my phone would occasionally go off with Cody texting me about how crazy they look with just one of everything they got and how Zach dumped most of the stand of pistachio's in the basket even though they aren’t buying them.

     I then texted Cody to pick up some cookies for Maxx, after he eats the food they got him and he obviously thought it was a good idea knowing Maxx’s love for chocolate chip cookies. The last text I got before they left the store was that they bought something that was so foreign that they couldn’t find the code for it. Maxx and I where still cuddling and Pistol had made her way on to the bed at some point as well. That’s when I hear the front door open. Maxx was too lost in the show to even hear it so I just stayed. I then hear profuse chopping and yelling which is quite obviously Cody cutting things. Oh boy, here we go.

     So eventually the guys make there way upstairs and tell us that they got the food. As we get up to go Zach proceeds to mention how he wishes he cause Maxx jerking off and they walked in on him. To which I reply.

     “ZACH! GET YOUR OWN MAN!” And everyone just busts out laughing. When we get to the kitchen they ask Maxx what he thinks they got. “Ok. So I assume you guys got some sort of fruit. Some sort of vegetable. Something fucking disgusting and yeah I think all the others are going to be fucking disgusting.” He says as Cody replies with, “Your honestly not far off at all.” and Maxx just smiles and goes “good,great” as they all laugh.

     “Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to Maxx tries something new.” Cody says as I sit next to Maxx and he goes, “here we fucking go.” And we all just laugh.

      They all huddle and point to a plate and bring him a kiwi. “Ooooohhh, Your going to like this one babe.” I say and he just looks and goes, “So do I eat this slice or....” to which I must point to the slice of kiwi. He eats the kiwi and he just goes “Hmm, That’s pretty good. That’s not bad at all” He says and puts up the ok hand motion.

     They once again huddle around the counter and then bring another plate with a green pepper on it. Maxx’s immediate thought to it being “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!” and we all can’t help but laugh. “I honestly can’t tell if that’s a vegetable or meat” and then picks it up and goes “it’s a pepper for sure.” and then continues to examine it.

     “BABE! Jesus Christ it’s a food not a fucking painting just eat it!” I yell and then he just stares at me with a fake shocked face and a smile and then bites into it. And according to Maxx the pepper “Tastes like water”. I just put my hand over my face as the guys laugh at him. “What is this?” He asks. Cody had to once again establish that “It’s a green bell pepper.” With Maxx immediately following with “It’s ehh”. I couldn’t help it. I just grab his head and press it againt my chest and he just lays there as I pet his head and laugh silently at him. “You heard it the verdict is ehh” Zach says as they all join in on the ehh part.

     Once again they huddle and all I could hear was “ I don’t even know what the fuck it is” from Zach. I lean over to Maxx and say “I don’t think your going to like this one babe.” I say as he turn and smiles at me. “Thanks for the warning baby girl” He replies as he kisses my cheek and the guys put it on the table. They all do a quick awww and then Dan puts a weird ass fruit and yells ‘OW’ repeatedly. 

     “That shit looks more like a weapon than i food” I say as I pick up my arm and make it look like i’m throwing something. Zach laughs along with the guys and goes “Your going to have to eat it with a spoon.” Once again, Maxx’s first reaction to it, is to compare it to a plumbus from Rick and Morty. And then says “I have no fucking idea what this is” As he waves his hands around with the fruit.

     “If you had to name this, what would you name it?” Cody asks. “Spiky no no plant” Is all Maxx says before Cody tells us that it is called a ‘Horned Melon’.

     Maxx digs right in causing it to make a nasty sound and all the guys to yell and laugh about the noise it made. After he tries it he claims that it’s like eating tadpoles and picks up the fruit and squeezes it making it seem like it’s talking and says “Im going to give this one a zero.” and everyone to laugh along. (Im so sorry im rambling. It is 6:15am and I am watching the video as we go. Im going to skip ahead a bit.)

     Within the next maybe 15 minutes of laughing and funny comments, Maxx had tried, Tuna or as he calls it “Cat food”, A pear, Which he liked but nicknamed it “the boogieman” from nightmare before christmas or an apple that just woke up one say and said “Whatever”, and Sour Kraut or “Onions that gave up” which he almost died from.

     Then Cody starts talking about how they kinda put him through hell and they knew he wasn’t going to like everything so they got something to as they said “Soften the blow”. And Cody turns to me and nods. They has told me where they put them through a text message so I just nod and Maxx looks kind of confused but excited. and goes “Is it more sour kraut?!” and they all joke about how it was more sour kraut. I get up and go to the fridge and get the cookies from the top which I had to get on my tippy-toes to get. 

     “So your lovely girlfriend suggested that we get you...” He starts as I turn around and he yells “OOOOOOHHHH SHIIITTTTTT! I have had those before.” and then goes for some cookies. “Do I get to keep the lovely lady as well?” He asks as I sit down next to him again and he puts his arm around me then pulls me to his lap. The guys just laugh and nod informing that he can indeed keep his girlfriend. And he then screams “BEST PRIZE EVERRRRRR!!!!” and then stack 2 chocolate chip cookies to make a cookie sandwich. He takes a bite throws it on the table and yells “100! ALL DAY BABY!” and throws his hands in the air. Then they did the whole outro thing.

     After they finished they talked for a few minutes and then me and Maxx head to our room by a well timed yawn on my part. Maxx then grabs me by the waist and throws me over his shoulder and begins to walk up the stairs as everybody yells a goodnight. Maxx throws me on the bed and then pushes my legs so that he can lay down. I just take off my pants leaving my in just a shirt and Maxx takes off his shirt and pants, as the man always has on skinny jeans and then gets under the covers and pulls me close. “Man, You really where the best prize today” He says as he wraps his arm around my waist and puts his head in to the crook of my neck and breathes in. 

     “Ehhh, I think the cookies where better.” I reply as I wrap my arms around him. (They are facing each other. Its kinda like a hug) “Yeah right. The difference between you and cookies are that they will eventually go bad. But you, you will always be perfect” He says as he then flips on to his back leaving me to lay on top of him.

     “You are so corny” I say as he just smirks and goes “Sorry, but i’ve never eaten corn. How corny can I be.” (I don’t know if he’s never had corn or nah) I just laugh and lay my head on his check. Little did we know, the guys where behind our door recording what we where saying and where going to edit that into the video.

     God. How could anybody not Love Maxx Danziger.

(Hope you guys liked it. I know I rambled and I’m so so sorry but I got distracted and before I knew it this was so long. But anyway I should probably get sleeping it’s almost 7am and I haven’t slept yet. Much Love Guys)

                                                                                        ~Astral

[cynical-bee]

I DARE YOU TO DO THE 200 things you can put in my ask TEXT. YOU HAVE TO. I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU.

You suck, so much, Nen 

200: My crush’s name is:

me myself and I

199: I was born in:

the island of Oahu.

198: I am really:

GAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

197: My cellphone company is:

verizon

196: My eye color is:

green bitch

195: My shoe size is:

7 ½

194: My ring size is:

uhhh i dont wear rings my high school one is the only one i own and i wear it on a chain cause its too big

193: My height is:

5′3 and ½ but mentally I’m 6′2

192: I am allergic to:

raspberries, wool, and bad attitudes 

191: My 1st car was:

a 1999 blue Taurus 

190: My 1st job was:

A farm hand

189: Last book you read:

Jane Austins Pride and Prejudice

188: My bed is:

Nice? comfy? the place that i love?

187: My pet:

IS THE MOST ADORABLE DOGGOS EVER TO DOGGO

186: My best friend:

is really a bombass person i couldn’t have survived without her

185: My favorite shampoo is:

Redkin

184: Xbox or ps3:

PS3 i dont do xbox 

183: Piggy banks are:

my best friend, i have a cool coconut cat one that i named 

182: In my pockets:

i don’t have pockets but if i did

and it wasn’t fucking 4:16 in the morning

i would probably have my phone and pocket knives in them and my wallet

181: On my calendar:

I need to buy one of those

180: Marriage is:

a huge commitment 

179: Spongebob can:

wash my dishes

178: My mom:

is the strongest woman in this world.

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Omnia- prayer, one way living, and freedom song

176: Last YouTube video watched:

it was about making a giant slingshot rifle

175: How many cousins do you have?

dude i honestly cant even count that high

174: Do you have any siblings?

4 full blood, one adopted, 2 half blood and a lot of illegitimates that my dad has from affairs.

173: Are your parents divorced?

thankfully yeah 

172: Are you taller than your mom?

no, i wish she’s really fucking tall she’s 5′8

171: Do you play an instrument?

i play the guitar, flute, piano, and my throat

170: What did you do yesterday?

I hung out with my family and took my dogs for walks and shizzzzzz

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight

: no you cant love someone without knowing them

168: Luck:

Luck of the irish biiitch

167: Fate:

heck yeah man you don’t fuck with fate

166: Yourself:

ha sometimes 

165: Aliens:

there is no way our dumbasses are the only creatures living out in this space junkyard

164: Heaven:

i believe in the afterlife just not organized religion heaven

163: Hell:

i do, i believe in hell very much so

162: God:

i believe in spiritual beings I’m not sure about one god or whatever but i believe in a feeling i guess i believe theres probably something out there 

161: Horoscopes:

i think they are nice to know of but they don’t define anything 

160: Soul mates:

i believe theres many soulmates for people that everyone has someone somewhere that would be a great match for them

159: Ghosts

: i do i strongly believe in ghosts 

158: Gay Marriage:

marriage is a right not a privilege. love is love 

157: War:

i come from an army family and no one likes war but i believe war is necessary sometimes 

156: Orbs:

i don't even know what this means man the fuck are you asking me

155: Magic:

to an extent i do

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses:

Hugs 

153: Drunk or High:

high 

152: Phone or Online:

online i never call places to order because i get nervous and stutter 

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black hair. i don’t like redheads ( sorry kyle, rachael, and declan) 

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

i like both equally

149: Hot or cold:

Hot weather is preferred over cold cause when its cold i don’t know where to put my hands 

148: Summer or winter:

winter because its acceptable to wear pants 24/7

147: Autumn or Spring:

autumn because when leaves change color its beautiful also its my birthday season 

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

both a chocolate vanilla twist is my favorite thing on earth

145: Night or Day:

night, it may be dark but its quiet and i feel like everything runs slowly and it just makes me feel more comfortable

144: Oranges or Apples:

apples but only the green ones.

143: Curly or Straight hair:

both but i like curly a little more,

i might be biased 

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

ew no fast food is disgusting. 

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

milk chocolate 

140: Mac or PC:

i have a MAC but i like things about PCs a lil bit more I’m waiting for the love child between the two

139: Flip flops or high heals:

 uhh i don’t like flip-flops much but i don’t like heels much either can i get a pair of doc martens and call it square?

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor. i would never want to be rich just to be rich (this pertains to personality right???)

137: Coke or Pepsi:

i don't taste a difference

136: Hillary or Trump :

Hillary. i wish she was my president.

135: Burried or cremated:

Im not sure but i mean I’m dead so i guess it won’t matter 

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing i cant dance for my life and the only time i do is in my room 

133: Coach or Chanel:

uhhhhh what even

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

i don't know who these people are but i don’t like the name Taylor anymore so lets go with the Nanny Mcphee chick.

131: Small town or Big city:

i like both but recently I’ve been craving city life probably cause i spent everything before now in small towns and army bases 

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

Target fo sho 

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler 

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

neither i don’t like when people touch me like that 

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East coast i grew up on the west 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

neither, holidays make me sad in all honesty.

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers, if someone gives me flowers i get really happy they’re much more special than chocolates 

124: Disney or Six Flags:

i haven't been to an amusement park since i was 8 so idk man. but i guess Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

YANKEES!!!!!  FUCK THE SOX

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War:

War is a necessary evil from time to time.

121: George Bush:

He is a great Texan man.

120: Gay Marriage:

IS A RIGHT!

119: The presidential election:

 people need to actually start going out to vote 

118: Abortion: …

117: MySpace: ha this is so fucking old 116: Reality TV: trash

115: Parents:

also trash sometimes 

114: Back stabbers:

need to not 

113: Ebay:

is a lie and a very untrustworthy site

 112: Facebook:

is where people go to be fake ass bitches 

111: Work:

monaaayyyyyyyyyy

110: My Neighbors:

are really fake 

109: Gas Prices:

too high man 

108: Designer Clothes:

are dumb and honestly just a ploy

107: College:

is necessary for a good job yet so fucking expensive and really stressful I’m dying please help me 

106: Sports:

are my life 

105: My family:

is a mess 

104: The future:

is unknown 

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone:

 uhh like 3 days ago

102: Last time you ate:

i don’t remember 

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: 

uhhlast week sometime

100: Cried in front of someone:

last wednesday is the last time i fully broke down in front of people.

99: Went to a movie theater:

uhmmmmmm…last monday????  to GOTG2?

98: Took a vacation: 

I’m on one rn 

97: Swam in a pool:

dude last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

yesterday

95: Got my nails done

: i cant remember 

94: Went to a wedding:

last week 

93: Broke a bone:

3 years ago

92: Got a peircing:

dude so fucking long ago 

91: Broke the law:

ALL DAY ER DAY BITCH

90: Texted:

i don't know i think like maybe 2 hours ago

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

 Kyle probably 

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my bed and my moms voice

87: The last movie I saw:

in theaters- GOTG2 , at home- Pride and Prejudice (1940)

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

seeing my friends 

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

having to interact with a lot of people

84: People call me:

Lou, Louie 

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

Be heard

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

never 

81: My zodiac sign is:

Virgo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

 Kyle i think

79: First time you had a crush:

uhhhh i had a crush on Connor Tustin and we pretended to be married in kindergarten 

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

honestly probably Nen they see right through me 

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

like an hour and a half ago

76: Right now I am talking to:

Margaret

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

Be famous duh, nah imma be a scientist bitch

74: I have/will get a job:

i have one and i need another

73: Tomorrow:

is saturday and i have a busy schedule 

72: Today:

is friday and i have so much shit to do man

71: Next Summer:

i need to work harder

70: Next Weekend:

i cant plan that far ahead

69: I have these pets:

Roxy and Dino

 68: The worst sound in the world:

 when their voice cracks when they’re crying 

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

uhhhhh?

66: People that make you happy:

my friends 

65: Last time I cried:

3 days ago…did i not just answer this????

64: My friends are:

bunch of fucking nerds

63: My computer is:

a mac and is dumb but also nice 

62: My School:

is religious and hates me 

61: My Car:

is dead and totaled 

60: I lose all respect for people who:

cheat, lie, and anyone who is disrespectful to strangers.

59: The movie I cried at was: 

guardians of the galaxy 2

58: Your hair color is:

Dirty blonde 

57: TV shows you watch:

Orphan black, game of thrones, OUAT, etc.

56: Favorite web site:

tumblr ( i have no life)

55: Your dream vacation:

backpacking across america a new country each summer 

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

when i broke my ankle.

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

carrots 

52: My room is:

miiiiineee get out 

51: My favorite celebrity is:

Evelyne Brochu

50: Where would you like to be:

Idk man i guess Paris would be pretty chill

49: Do you want children:

i am not pushing an alien out of my stomach

48: Ever been in love:

yeah.

47: Who’s your best friend:

Im not sure i learned some stuff about best friends earlier from Declan and Nen and i don’t really know if i can have one

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I’m friends with more guys 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

brushing my teeth man its so fucking fresh 

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

 i don’t like people 

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

academically yeah 

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

I have

41: Have you pre-named your children:

no who the fuck does that 

40: Last person I got mad at:

Myself 

39: I would like to move to:

NYC, Hawaii, or Florida, or maybe out of country

38: I wish I was a professional:

Idk man something that makes money

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy:

Twizzlers 

36: Vehicle:

Jeep Wrangler 

35: President:

Teddy Rosevelt 

34: State visited:

NY

33: Cellphone provider:

Verizon? how do i favorite a provider????

32: Athlete:

i don't have one 

31: Actor:

Evelyne brochu

30: Actress: 

Evelyne Brochu again

29: Singer:

STEVIE NICKS 

28: Band:

Omnia 

27: Clothing store:

Platos closet 

26: Grocery store: 

Publix 

25: TV show:

Orphan Black

24: Movie:

Pride and prejudice 

23: Website:

Vat19.com

22: Animal:

Lions 

21: Theme park:

Hershey park?

20: Holiday:

Halloween

19: Sport to watch:

baseball

18: Sport to play:

Rugby

17: Magazine:

uhhhhh do people actually read those?

16: Book:

Pride and Prejudice 

15: Day of the week:

i like wednesdays cause they’re the middle 

14: Beach:

ANY OF THEM

13: Concert attended:

Stevie Nicks 

12: Thing to cook:

Mac and Cheese 

11: Food:

Spaghetti 

10: Restaurant:

Mexican Food Factory 

9: Radio station:

92.5 

8: Yankee candle scent:

I don’t have a favorite but probably something like cinnamon or piney or something 

7: Perfume:

Daisy by Marc Jacobs 

6: Flower:

Skullcap

5: Color: 

Turquoise

4: Talk show host:

Colbert 

3: Comedian:

Amy Schumer 

2: Dog breed:

Beagle/ Basset Mix, or English Setters 

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

i did indeed