#like im so excited for the intl shows im so glad theyre going to so many different countries/cities

[silverlininghills]

i cant believe today is the last show of the NA leg. it feels like this tour started yesterday

[donghans-moved]

i think you should totally just write a love letter for donghan... can that be my ask? - 🍥 anon

i think it will be a bit too embarrassing to write a love letter so i shall just write whatever comes to my mind!

the first time i saw donghan, i think it was on twt where people were still speculating who is gonna be on the show and stuff (and i was curious because some of the people they said were people i was very interested in) and i saw a photo of him~ when i saw him i was like wooooOOOO he’s a beaut! my two other friends and i were looking up the people we saw and i think i found his instagram and just absentmindedly follow him? because i remember later on my friend sent me his ig and i was already following him and i didn’t know him before that so... yeah thats the only how i saw it lol (he was the first pd101 boy i followed on ig! i followed him when he was at like 10k followers heh kenta was second~) on the things i aw on twt about him i saw that he was a part of busking group D.O.B so i just searched for their videos to peep them but i ended up watching all the donghan focused fancams from this fansite because ??? idk lol they danced really well and i was there for donghan so naturally i watched his fancams and he was a great dancer so i just watched all the videos swdeswdeanywho! the one video i remember looking at on his ig and thinking “yes this is the one i shall stan” (i think i even said it to my gc lmao) was the video with the chicken filter that he deleted now :( BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS OLDER TBH donghan did not look like he was a 98 liner i thought he’d be like 96 or 95? so when his profile was released i was very shocked he was a 98 liner lmao when the naya na video was released i was scared that he wasnt gonna get screentime on the show because i didnt see him much in that video but the first ep came out and he got decent enough screentime? i was excited but of course lmao mnet doesnt like happiness and he was barely seen for the rest of the eps after that until the like last one or two before he was eliminated. i remember in episode one when he was talking to ong i was like damn donghan probably gonna be up that guys ass (little did i know that i was wrong lmao) but also after episode one (or was it two?) a lot of g/g stans were hating on donghan and saying theyre gonna anti him because of something he said and i will never not be angry about this and how rude they were to him about something as stupid as this. you know what he said? donghan said that he likes the boys visuals more than the girls visuals. yes, he got a lot of hate for saying that lmao i remember some i/o/i stans made threads with their caption as something dumb like “since that ugly pd101 boy thinks that i/o/i are ugly heres a thread on blah blah blah” like he didnt say he was ugly he said he liked the male visuals more. it just really bothered me that because he, a as guy, said that he liked the guys looks more, people were hating on him because ?? he should only think girls are pretty?? he didnt say anything to condescend the girls he didnt call them ugly or anything like those stans were implying but yet still they called him a crackhead, ugly, stupid, said they hate him, would anti him an all those things because he said he think the boys are more attractive. idk where im going from this lol but i really love and adore donghan! everytime hes clingy and affectionate to the members it just makes me feel so... happy? i personally am not that touchy with people so i see it as someone who is really comfortable and adore those around them so it warms my heart to see donghan so comfortable with the other members. even with D.O.B’s leader he was really clingy with him and i think thats what really brought me in man, i lOVE seeing it makes me so happy to know he has people he feels comfortable to be around. when he made it into the 35th position i was so thankful but when he said that he was thankful to be given the chance because he ‘didn’t want to leave the hyungs and friends he made’ on the show it really made my heart feel heavy because he barely made it into the top 35 and i saw how fans were acting to get their faves to debut i just had a strong feeling he wasnt going to make it ESPECIALLY because he has a lot of overseas fans in japan and china but they couldn’t vote for him because intl fans couldnt vote. when he was eliminated i didnt cry at first cause i kinda expected it (dummy head went and liked a photo on ig before the eliminations was aired) but after a while i was thinking about what would happen to him, if he would debut because i didnt know of any other trainees besides the ones on the show but sungwook changed paths to a model so i only knew him and daehyeon and i didnt know if oui had more trainees? so i was like, how much longer would it take for them to debut? would he have a successful debut? then on arirang radio with him a daehyeon he said that they were planning to debut early next year and i had hope for that (not really JBJ at the time like idk JBJ was so much of a dream come true i didn’t think it was possible lol it was too good to be true) but then he debuted in JBJ and im seeing so many people love and support him and im so happy for that like thats all i wanted lol i just wanted him to be supported on pd101 which he did get! but it was like, people didnt stan him you feel? they knew of him and liked his dancing and thought he was handsome but they didnt really give him actual support? i hope that doesnt make me sound ungrateful for the support he did get because i am so ever greatful!! but im even more grateful to see him being loved and appreciated while he is actually living his dream! i love donghan soooooo much he means the world to me and i would hate to see him sad so im sooo ever grateful people gave him the chance to be in JBJ with the members who care for him! at one point i felt a lil sad that i couldnt do anything for him like during pd101, i couldnt go out and put up banners, i couldnt give out flyers, i dont even live in korea and i cant even speak korean i felt like i couldnt do muh to help him and it made me feel like a bad fan lmao but i did get a few anons talking to me about how much they love him and that i got them into donghan and it made me feel soooo happy that i couldve given him just that little much~ i love love love donghan i want nothing but the best for him and if i ever could meet him.... i dont even know what id do lmao id love to tell him how proud i am of him and that im so glad hes gotten to where he is now but id also like to tell him that i loooooove him and would gladly die for him and even be his wife if he asked heh ;)