#like im getting the feeling im running into danger when i see those numbers go up like that

[ganondoodle]

this tweet of mine is blowing up (unexpectedly) on twitter and i cant say i am not afraid of it spreading further

[iamtired10]

out of focus

pairing - ??? x female reader x ???

synopsis - you have two sides to run from, but both are dangerous.

genre - yandere, stalker fic. nothing cute here

warnings - stalking, death threats, extreme, blood, idk, idk², cliffhanger ending, strong language, reader being dumbass, sorry to hyein, pt. 2 coming soon.

word count - 2.6k

a/n - lame-ass fic, im illiterate, my dark romance era is back!! imma write more yandere fics❤️

the first message had unsettled you, but you’d shrugged it off as a minor, albeit eerie, incident.

an unknown number had texted something vague and unsettling:

i’m watching you.

it seemed like the kind of thing you'd hear in some horror movie, but reality?

that felt unlikely.

it could have been a prank—a bored teenager with too much time on their hands or someone testing a spam bot. you rolled your eyes at the thought and went about your day.

but the messages didn’t stop.

in fact, they grew more frequent, more specific.

at first they were merely creepy—just enough to make you glance over your shoulder, but nothing that couldn’t be brushed off.

however as time passed, the texts grew far too detailed.

someone out there knew things no one should know: the exact time you left for uni every morning, what you were wearing, even the tiny, unnoticed things, like how you tapped your fingers on the counter when you were anxious or the way you hummed under your breath when you were deep in thought.

and then came the photo.

the one that made your skin crawl.

it was of you—sitting alone in your room.

the image had been taken from outside, through your window, the angle unmistakably clear.

whoever was sending these messages wasn’t just toying with you from a distance anymore.

they were close.

so close you could almost feel their eyes on you.

you tried to make sense of it, but there was no logic to be found.

every message came from a different number, each with a distinct tone.

some were desperate, almost pleading, demanding your attention with phrases like

why r u ignoring me? i just want to talk.

those ones felt needy, like a strange, twisted longing.

others, however were chillingly emotionless.

u need to be more careful.

those messages felt more like warnings, threats whispered in the dark.

cold, detached, and calculating.

it felt like you were caught between two different people.

one seemed desperate to get close to you; the other wanted you to protect you.

maybe it was just one person.

maybe they had split personalities, switching between obsession and cruelty. or maybe this was a sick game, a test to see how far they could push you, how much fear they could instill.

despite the growing dread, you tried to ignore it.

life continued, even as the dark presence lingered in the background of your mind.

your best friend, hanni, had been the only person you confided in.

she had always been your rock, grounding you when the weight of the situation became too heavy to bear.

when you told her, she didn’t hesitate. “i’m staying over,” she had said, her tone firm, no room for protest. “you’re not going through this alone.”

and for a little while, with hanni there, you’d managed to convince yourself that things were going to be okay.

but now, hanni had too much on her plate.

you didn’t want to burden her further, so when your other friend, hyein, invited you over for a sleepover, you agreed.

maybe a change of scenery would help.

maybe being at hyein's place would give you the distance you needed to think clearly.

you leaned against the cold metal wall of the elevator, the phone pressed to your ear. “i’ll be there in about 30 minutes,” you said, forcing your voice to sound light, normal.

hyein had picked up on it, though. “unnie, are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.

“yeah, i just haven’t been sleeping well,” you lied. “i’m looking forward to tonight.”

she didn’t push further, and you hung up, exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

just as you slipped your phone into your bag, it buzzed again.

you froze.

unknown number [+82 67 3573 2345]

dont leave ur house

your heart skipped a beat.

it was that unknown number again.

the familiar sense of unease crept up your spine.

a second message quickly followed. . .

unknown number [+82 67 3573 2345]

if u leave, u’ll regret it

a threat. this was a threat, wasn’t it?

your pulse quickened, and your hand trembled slightly as you clutched your phone.

did they know where you were going?

how close were they?

were they watching you right now?

the elevator dinged as it came to a stop on the ground floor, but your feet felt glued to the floor. your mind raced, spiraling into a storm of questions and panic.

should you go back to your apartment? but what if going back gave them more power, made them think they could control you?

what if tomorrow you received another message, telling you not to leave again?

how long could you play by their rules?

but then what if ignoring them was worse?

what if disobeying meant they’d escalate?

you stepped out of the elevator, the chilly evening air hitting your skin.

the world around you seemed oblivious to the terror that had taken root in your life. people passed by, chatting and laughing, completely unaware of the invisible danger lurking around you.

your phone buzzed again. this time, it was hyein.

hye🐣👶🏻

see you soon right?

be careful on the way unnie (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

you stared at the message for a moment, feeling the weight of the decision pressing down on you.

if you went to hyein’s place, maybe you could escape the immediate threat.

after all, the stalker hadn’t done anything physical yet…

but how long until that changed?

you slipped your phone back into your backpack after finishing the text exchange with hyein.

just as you were adjusting the straps on your shoulders, you suddenly bumped into someone. the impact was light, but it was enough to knock the other person off balance, sending them crashing to the ground.

“shi—! i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to—” you started apologizing hastily, looking down at the person who had fallen. your words trailed off when you realized who it was.

“oh… hey, haerin-ssi.”

it was kang haerin, a junior at your university.

you had crossed paths with her before—usually in the library, where she often sat alone, nose buried in a book. your classmates had often teased you, claiming the quiet, cat-eyed girl had a crush on you. you’d noticed her occasional shy glances, but you always brushed off the idea. still, there was something about the way she quietly observed you that made you feel… watched.

“hey, sunbae-nim…” haerin’s voice was barely above a whisper. she had her hood up, almost like she was trying to hide.

she seemed to be in a hurry, her posture tense.

your eyes darted to her phone, which had slipped from her hand during the fall. “oh, let me grab that for you," you offered, kneeling down to pick it up.

but just as your fingers brushed the edge of the phone, haerin's hand shot out, grabbing it before you could. “no!! i can get it myself...” she blurted out, her voice suddenly panicked.

you blinked in surprise.

this was the first time you'd seen her react like that—so flustered, so defensive.

you stood up slowly, eyebrows raised. “uh, okay, but i heard the screen crack. you sure it’s not broken?”

haerin stood up quickly, clutching her phone tightly. “you don’t need to worry about that, sunbae-nim,” she muttered, her gaze avoiding yours.

before you could say anything else, she brushed past you, her shoulder bumping into yours as she hurried away.

you tilted your head, watching her rush off in confusion. “weird…” you muttered under your breath. “what’s she hiding on that phone?”

you shook your head, her sudden panic almost… cute, in a way.

later that evening, you were sprawled on Hyein’s couch, half-watching a movie.

or at least, hyein was watching.

your mind had checked out long ago.

every few minutes, your phone would vibrate in your lap, each buzz pulling you further away from the screen and deeper into a pit of anxiety.

then, a new message appeared, and your stomach dropped as you read it:

unknown number [+82 78 3573 1638]

darling my darling

u're going to regret what u've done

i told u not to leave last night

but look at u, out having fun with that kid

watching a movie like nothing’s wrong

you blinked at the screen, then quickly locked your phone, shoving it into your hoodie pocket.

“unnie, anything wrong?” hyein asked, turning her attention away from the movie to look at you.

“yeah, it’s fine,” you lied, glancing away. “just the stalker sending me another love notes, as usual.” you sighed heavily.

you had reported the stalker to the police, but they’d been no help. whoever this was, they were too good at covering their tracks.

changing numbers constantly, sending messages from random places—it was like they were a ghost, slipping through every crack and loophole in the system.

the police couldn’t pin them down, and it left you feeling trapped, helpless.

another vibration.

unknown number [+82 78 3573 1638]

r u u still ignoring me huh?

r u really having that much fun w her?

w that lee hyein?

is she that much better than me?

what r u going to do next?

sleep w her? w a kid? ㅋㅋㅋ

huh is that it?

this one was different.

more direct. more cruel.

the words cut deep, and something inside you snapped.

enough was enough.

you quickly typed back, your fingers flying across the screen:

stop messaging me

she's a hundred times better than u.

u’re just a pathetic loser who doesn’t have the guts to face me in person.

and dont u dare think about her again

you hit block for what felt like the hundredth time.

but even as the message disappeared, you knew it was only a matter of time before another number popped up, and the cycle would start all over again.

no matter how many numbers you blocked, the stalker always seemed to have infinite patience.

more patience than you, that was for sure.

you stared at your phone, frustration bubbling up inside you.

how long could this go on?

how long before they stopped playing games

and did something worse?

and it had gotten worse.

much worse than you could have ever imagined.

you hated yourself for going to hyein’s house that day.

every terrible thing that had happened to her was because of you.

the guilt gnawed at you like a beast with no mercy.

you stared at hyein, lying in the hospital bed, still unconscious.

her ankle was broken, a bandage wrapped around her head.

the doctor said she was lucky to be alive, but you couldn’t shake the words that haunted you:

unknown number [+82 90 5874 3663]

got a surprise for u, my love.

u're going to like it.

go to the gymnastics building.

i love u. so much

that’s where you found her.

hyein, crumpled at the bottom of the staircase, blood pooling beneath her.

someone—your stalker—had pushed her down the stairs.

the sight of her lying there, so still, so vulnerable, was burned into your memory.

and then the next message arrived.

unknown number [+82 90 5874 3663]

told u to stay away from her

but you didn’t listen

she’s lucky she’s not dead.

but the sound of her skull cracking was loud enough to satisfy me ㅋㅋㅋ

anyway i love u, my darling.

remember this is just a little showcase. i can do worse than that

all of this... it was because of you.

you couldn’t forgive yourself.

the guilt was unbearable, consuming you from the inside out.

mrs. lee’s sobs echoed in your ears as she clung to hyein’s brother in the waiting room.

the grief in their eyes was too much.

they loved her like you did, but they didn’t know the truth—their daughter, their sister, was in this hospital because of you.

you bit back your own tears, but they came anyway, spilling down your cheeks.

hyein had always been like a little sister to you, someone you wanted to protect. now she was hurt, possibly broken, because of you.

the thought of her dying because of your choices was like a knife twisting in your chest.

the stalker had done this.

and they could do worse.

much worse.

the only sliver of relief was that hyein was stable, though she hadn’t regained consciousness yet.

but you didn’t know if the stalker would come after her again.

that thought paralyzed you.

“it’s okay…” hanni’s voice broke through the fog of your mind.

she was sitting beside you, pulling you into her arms.

her hug was warm, firm, as she rubbed your back gently. “she’s going to be fine. don’t worry. she’ll be okay.”

her words were soothing, but they didn’t reach the gnawing fear inside you. “i’m here, okay? no one’s going to hurt you again. the police are here. we’re all here for you. you’ve got me. it’s going to be alright,” hanni whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as you collapsed into her, sobbing into her chest.

“h-han, i’m so scared…” you stuttered, your voice broken. “why is this happening? why can’t they just leave us alone? why can’t they leave me alone? what do they want from me?”

hanni held you tighter, her voice low and serious. “love…,” she murmured.

you blinked and looked up at her, confused. “h-huh?”

she sighed, then met your eyes. “i mean... they’re obsessed with you. they want your attention, maybe more. maybe love. i don’t know... but let’s not think too much about it right now, okay? just focus on being here. on being safe.”

you swallowed hard, nodding as you let out a shaky breath. “o-okay…”

just then, minji’s voice interrupted the quiet moment. “are you guys leaving soon?”

she stood at the door, her eyes flicking between you and hanni.

you tried to pull away from hanni’s embrace, but she held on tighter.

“no—” you started, but hanni cut her off.

“yeah, i think y/n needs rest,” hanni said firmly, smiling softly as her hand continued to rub soothing circles on your back. “she was awake all night, and she’s exhausted.”

you shook your head. “but i need to stay for hye—”

“she has her brother and minji. doctors, nurses, and the police are here to protect her,” hanni interrupted gently. “you were here all night, y/n. you didn’t sleep. you need rest.”

you wanted to argue, but you were so tired.

the exhaustion hit you all at once, like a wave crashing down. you sighed in defeat.

minji nodded. “okay. i’ll keep you updated when she wakes up or if anything happens. and if you need anything, call me. do you want a police officer with you for protection?”

before you could respond, hanni spoke up confidently. “no, i’ll be with y/n. the stalker can’t do anything to her while i’m there.”

minji raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. “alright. . . just let me know if you need anything.”

she gave you both a lingering look before walking away.

hanni finally let go of you and stood up. “i’ll grab your backpack. don’t move, okay?”

you nodded as you watched her walk off, the quiet hum of the hospital surrounding you.

nurses bustled about, doctors talked in low voices with patients, and the distant sound of machines beeped steadily in the background.

it all felt surreal, like the world was moving on while you were stuck in this nightmare.

and then your phone buzzed.

your heart stopped as you hesitantly pulled it out of your pocket.

you glanced down at the screen, and your blood ran cold.

unknown number [+82 67 3573 2345]

is typing. . .

dont go to her house

a/n - fell asleep while writing it -_-

my brain, butt, back, neck, fingers hurts 😣

[gatorbites-imagines]

the request for hobie and the icp spiderman reader has intrigued me and I would like to see hobie x male reader who isnt a spiderman but a civillian, hes the lead guitarist for a metal band and hobie shows up to the venue for the readers concert as theres a gun threat or something along those lines (if thats ok ofc )

Hobie Brown x lead guitarist male reader

Headcanons

I think im experiencing writers block again.

You two most likely met at one of your concerts, or one of Hobies’ for that matter. Maybe it was an event where multiple bands would play.

You would both be amazed by the others playing, and before either of you knew what was happening, you two could be found flirting in the corner of the room. Everyone else faded into the background as you two got to know each other.

Time would pass, you two would text as you shared numbers that night, you two would go to each other’s concerts, all the shebang. Sadly Hobie had to slow down on his own music as all the spiderman things started going down, but that doesn’t stop him from coming to see you.

He can always be found in the crowd somewhere, easily spotted thanks to his height and his hair. Seeing him there always makes you feel better, and you tell him he’s gotta be your lucky token, as you’re playing always sounds better when he’s present.

It would be no secret that you two were dating, as it becomes a common sight to see you jump off the stage after concerts, maybe even throwing yourself as Hobie so he has to catch you. It becomes part of the experience for the people going after a while.

Your band probably isn’t that big, maybe more of a local famous band, but that’s exactly what Hobie loves anyways. He doesn’t approve of the larger music industry and how it relies on nepotism and money.

A gun threat could happen for many reasons, maybe they don’t like the music or your bands message, maybe they don’t like that the lead guitarist is so openly gay, maybe they just did it because it was somewhere with a lot of people.

Because the world you guys live in, you all get down when the person with the gun appears, waving their weapon around and threatening the people around them.

Of course, you have to play hero, so when they are threatening to shoot someone, you jump off the stage to get their attention. Right as the gun turns towards you and they are about to pull the trigger, Spiderman shows up and takes care of the perp.

If hes being extra rough with the perp, no one will notice. Its of course because Hobie was terrified you would get hurt, especially if he knows about canon events at this point, and has seen how the lovers of spiderpeople always end up hurt or dead.

He can’t go scoop you up as spiderman, so he quickly wraps up what he needs to do and comes back as himself, making it seem like he was there the whole time. Your band would be fuzzing over you, whilst also calling you cool for stepping in like that, when Hobie comes running.

Your bandmates only laugh as Hobie picks you up, checks you all over, and kisses you, telling you to never do something so stupid again.

After that Hobie would be on edge for a while, tense and paying closer attention to you than normal. He would stick closer to you during concerts, always eyeing the people around and staying close to the stage so he could pull you to safety if needed.

Your bandmates and the locals would just accept it, seeing it as one of Hobies quirks, some would even find it romantic that he watches out for you so much after the threat. They just think hes a protective boyfriend, they have no idea your protective boyfriend is spiderman though.

If he has no choice but to patrol on nights you have concerts, he always sticks close by and swings past where the concert is happening, to see you, but also to keep an eye out for any danger. It becomes a joke that spiderman is a big fan of your band, which you find humorous since he is, everyone else just doesn’t know.

It would take a while for Hobie to calm down, though the caution is always there but it’s always been there, as it comes with being spiderman. Just expect to be kisses before every concert now except for after, just in case.

[damagedcoda6669]

hiiiii!!!! i was wondering if u could share some of the most common to least common bpd symptoms?….and maybe ones u struggle with??? <:3

ive been thinking i have bpd for awhile,, (since i was 15,i’m almost 18 now) BUT i dont wanna self diagnose bc i don’t wanna offend anyone……is that offensive? to self diagnose? idek <:p

there isnt rlly least 2 most common, bpd is a spectrum and has a wide range of experiences!!! but i will list the diagnostic criteria 4 u, and explain it in a way some1 first learning abt bpd can understand ^w^

u must experience at least 5 of the 9 symptoms from the criteria in order 2 be diagnosed!!!

1: frantic efforts 2 avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this means an intense fear of abandonment. if u have bpd, being abandoned by those u love is most likely ur biggest fear. ik its mine!!! xD this can look like a number of things. this can include an avoidant attachment style, pushing ppl away becuz u feel a need 2 abandon them first b4 it happens 2 u. u might do the opposite and cling rlly hard. u might resort 2 manipulation tactics n threats 2 try 2 get them 2 stay even if its not in their best interest (not every1 w bpd does this, and not every1 w bpd doing this is doing it on purpose. ive done this in the past b4 i reflected on my own behavior and realized it was wrong. we r not abusers by default and we dont have bad intentions.) u might beg them 2 stay, promise them things, try 2 change urself 4 them, yell at them 4 wanting 2 leave. its terrifying what the fear might do 2 u.

2: a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation.

this ones pretty simple, consistently unstable relationships throughout ur life!!! but it might get a lil confusing at "extremes of idealization and devaluation", so ill try 2 explain that using a term from the bpd community, "splitting". splitting is when u switch from one extreme view of a person, object, character, pretty much anything, 2 the opposite. it USUALLY means going from loving some1 2 hating them, but it can mean the opposite (hating 2 loving), and it can apply 2 anything, not just a person. a good example of splitting is when ur fp (favorite person, another term from the bpd community) disagrees with u abt smth, or u see them hanging out with other ppl, u mightve viewed them as perfect b4 and now u feel an intense hatred and can only see them as a bad person. 2 other ppl, experiencing such a drastic change in perception over smth so small is seen as ridiculous, but rlly its entirely valid. its part of the disorder, its okay.

3: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.

u dont rlly know who u r a lot of the time, u dont have a strong sense of identity, if any at all. u might change styles often, change the way u talk, the jokes u make, ur beliefs, ur interests, ur hobbies. u might find urself basing ur entire personality on those around u. a common experience is that when ur favorite person or favorite ppl leave u, u dont know who u r anymore, becuz ur entire sense of self was mirrored from them. its like being a chameleon, but ur constantly mirroring other ppl, and ur nevr rlly ur own person.

4: impulsivity in at least two areas that r potentially self damaging (the examples listed in the DSM-5 include spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating, but i will provide moar examples!!!); this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this ones also pretty simple!!! but personally i find that i become moar impulsive while in a bad headspace, or while im having a bpd episode/suicidal outburst. moar impulsive actions may include property damage, physical fights, running away, cutting contact with ppl, getting in contact with ppl who u know r dangerous, etc. those r all i could think of off the top of my head and they may not be the best examples, srry!!! :(

5: recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats, or self mutilating behavior.

i would like 2 say that self harm doesnt just mean cutting!!! self harm includes burning, hitting, ripping out hair, picking at skin, stabbing, and many moar. personally ive always been a cutter and i started when i was 9 or 10, but i want every1 2 know that all self harm is valid and this is a safe space 2 discuss it. im not gonna make any1 feel ashamed of it <3 also!!! suicidal threats and gestures may come across as manipulative, but that is almost NEVR our intention. we may act out in suicidal ways becuz its the only thing that gets us any sort of attention or care that we desperately need. i dont give a shit abt "ew theyre threatening suicide 4 attention, lets ignore them" becuz attention is a basic human need, and some1 threatening suicide REGARDLESS of their intentions is always a concern. whether its a call 4 help or not, they need help. dont disregard their mental health becuz their suicidal ideation doesnt present in an "acceptable" manner. all suicidal ideation, IS suicidal ideation. whether its passive, 4 attention, active w a plan, its all valid and requires attention and care.

6: affective instability due 2 a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely moar than a few days)

intense mood swings!!! u can feel happy one moment, and then switch 2 being depressed or anxious, and then go back 2 "normal" 10 minutes later. sometimes it just happens 4 no reason!!! absolutely fucking sucks

7: chronic feelings of emptiness.

this one is hard 2 explain and can mean varying things 4 different ppl. 4 me, it means i will never be happy in the long term (maybe with medication, but.. rawdogging life? bad idea) nothing gives me any sort of long term joy and i dont feel like i have a purpose. its like theres a hole in my chest that will nevr be filled. nothing will make me complete.

8: inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)

angy

(also not every1 w bpd gets in2 physical fights or r angry at other ppl often, some ppl r moar angry at themselves)

9: transient, stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

paranoia is a symptom of bpd!!! although its shortlived in nature, and as stated above, stress related. dissociative symptoms can also present in a variety of ways!!! u can present with a fractured sense of self which may actually lead 2 u developing headmates iirc, but with them usually appearing as other versions of urself. or u might just dissociate due 2 stress or ur brain wanting 2 remove traumatic memories, 4 me dissociating feels like the whole world is fuzzy and blurry and i cant form any thoughts or emotions. i have dissociative amnesia and experience memory loss when this happens, which sucks becuz i dissociate at least once everyday. my memories r incredibly spotty and unreliable, its liek my brain is made of swiss cheese!!!

personally, i experience all of the symptoms from the diagnostic criteria, and they all effect my life on a daily basis. but that isnt 2 say that u need all of them in order 2 have bpd, as i said b4, u only need at least 5!!! there r also different types of bpd (not medically, theyre labels created by the bpd community) look in2 it if u resonate with some of the symptoms but not all of them!!! a lot of ppl who suspect they have bpd but dont present in a stereotypical way often relate 2 the term "quiet bpd", i recommend looking in2 it!!!

self diagnosis is entirely valid, and most of the ppl who r offended by it r neurotypical or they dont have the disorders that ppl r self diagnosing with. it stems mostly from ableism towards autistic ppl, specifically autistic ppl who self diagnose becuz they know theyre autistic but dont have the resources/time 2 get a diagnosis from a professional. if u believe ur borderline, and u've done ur research, i believe u. self diagnosis is not actually offensive 2 those who have mental disorders, im pretty sure the bpd community is accepting of self diagnosis!!! and if u cant find a community of ppl who r accepting of ur self diagnosis, just know that i believe u and this is a safe space 4 self diagnosis and ppl w bpd :3

bpd is also incredibly hard 2 get diagnosed with. its one of the most stigmatized disorders and often mental health professionals have a bias against it. sometimes, professional diagnosis is not an option 4 us. i knew i had bpd 4 years b4 i was able 2 get diagnosed. good luck!!!!

[bigmack2go]

Newsies as Things my friend and me have said bc im shocked i haven’t done this yet

Sarah: THIS!

Sarah: *points at tailor doll*

Sarah: this is the reason i‘m into women!

(Sarah *in a whispered sob*: my hand fits her waist so perfectly….)

Race after getting one single question wrong: if you’re alowed to be dumb, so am i

Albert *shocked*: why is there no crossover of „sing“ and „zootopia??“

Albert: i mean—… NOT EVEN A FANFICTION!

Jack: there are very few names that are acceptable for sausage dogs

Jack *clears throat*….

Jack: NUMBER ONE—

Race:*wakes up david from his much needed afternoon nap*

Race: do u ever mix up the feeling of attraction with the one of jealousy???

Les: so if harry potter is an otter—

Les: and ron weasly is a weasle….

Les: whats hermione??

Albert: anyone else ever wonder how it would go if henry danger went to hogwarts?

Davey (in the middle of a conversation about hotdogs or smt): is there a place where you can give emoji suggestions??

Hotshot: what are you doing?

Autistic!Spot *squatting*: i need to make sure these pants don’t give me over sensory issues

Race: i dont get hyperfixations

Albert: you— you litteraly memorised Hamilton

Race: IT WAS TO KEEP MY BRAIN IN FORM

Katherine: why is it, whenever i find someone hot, they get a haircut???

Albert: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE— YOU LITTLE… i can’t think of an insult but imagine something thats really bad just so you know i am in fact very mad

(Race: woah who would have thought i’d live to see the day albert dasilva isn’t able to think of an insult)

Albert: ok but like… the characterbuilding of pawpatrol is like,,, really fucking good

Albert: like that shit deserves an oscar

Spot: did it hurt when you fell—

Race (litterally from down on the floor): when i fell from heaven?

Spot: no when you-

Race: when i fell for you?

Spot: RACE YOU JUST F E L L OF THE STAIRS

Jack: ah where did i put my crutchie?

Jack: GAYS HAS ABYONE SEEN MY CRUTCHIE?

Jack: damnit why do i keep losing i— ahhh there it is!

Elmer: ask for forgiveness, not permission

Hotsot: *sighs exasperated while watching elmer proceed to pull out a baloon sword with a genuinely evil look on his face*

Jack: you ever notice how you can deescalate literally any situation by [doing smt] as long as the situation is right?

Davey: *blinks* what?

Smalls: soooo i think i may or may not have just accidentally invented backwards stealing

Jack: ugh! Nephew, grandson! Wheres the difference, really??

Jack: i just stepped on my painting

Jack: haha! Look at those cute lil paint pawprints on the floor

Jack:

Jack: wait why do my feet make pawshaped pawprints???

Davey: thats it. Im done. I quit.

Elmer: quit what?

Davey:

Davey: life.

Spot: im trying to work on my anger issues

Albert: you literally just punched somebody

Spot: and it made me less angry

Mrs Kirby: buttons what are you doing here? This isn’t your classroom

Buttons (shamelessly): avoiding my teacher hopefully for another….

Buttons (squinting at the clock):

Buttons (happy as ever): 36 minutes!

Graves: my bf is being homophobic

Hotshot: youre single???

Graves: exactly!!

Davey: i may be antisocial but im still a socialist

Albert: spot, if i dropped dead here and now and race wasn’t there to witness that you didn’t murder me, what would you do with my body?

Spot: bold of u to assume I didn’t murder u

Spot: or need race as a witness

Spot: or—

Albert: OKAY I GET IT

Albert *putting on creme-deodorant*:

Jack: is this hair wax you’re putting under your arms???

Albert:…

Albert: yes.

Albert: it blocks the sweat glands.

Jack: *proceeds to go on about a ten minute speech about how tiktok spreads false information and life hacks*

Race: ow ow ow ow

Spot: what?

Race: i put on the wrong glasses

Spot: race w h a t

Albert: im a left handed green eyed ginger and thats not even the worst part—

Race: there are four types of people.

Race: watch.

Race: *shoves crutchie so he falls*

Jack: *gasps and runs to fight race*

Davey: *gasps and runs to help crutchie*

elmer: *gasps and laughs at crutchie*

Albert: *gasps and laughs at race*

Race: see

Race: *the most satisfied hes beenin his life*

No one:

Absolutely no one:

On this entire planet no one:

smalls *giving b i r t h*: ow ouch ow ah- yeah that does in fact hurt, owowow

[hurricaness]

how old r u?

u could go to a few clubs after 10 pm and ask around if ur not shy, but that’d be one hell of a mission, cause you’d probably meet someone who’d direct you to someone who’d direct you to someone etc etc until u found a plug that has what ur looking for, and if you don’t look like the type of person who does drugs (or if u look too young or too old) ppl might be reluctant to actually help u out — and if they do, expect plugs to charge u 3x what they charge ppl who are in the scene (and there’s not much u can do ab that tbh; drugs are expensive and we need customers like u for the profit to actually be worth the risk of getting caught). BUT BE CAREFUL if youre going to shady clubs or “trap houses” without someone experienced with you — it’s not as dangerous at it seems, really, most users and local dealers are nice ppl just tryna do their thing and stay out of trouble, but ofc there’ll always be bad ppl tryna spike up ur drink or smth, so don’t let ur guard down

but frankly, i think ur best option is to ask someone u know irl. like, go on instagram and look for that 1 chick u went to high school with that used to smoke weed, even if you’ve never even talked to her. i know it’s easier said than done but don’t be shy, i promise u ppl rly dont give a fuck

regardless of how you do it, if ur friendly and ask around enough, you’ll eventually find someone who has contacts for everything. for me thats my ex bf (who’s still one of my best friends); he’s very extroverted and friendly and outgoing and he could get me anything. before i met him, i could get pharmacy drugs (shit like xanax, adderall, codeine, etc) easily cause i have infinite prescription talons, and i could easily get weed and coke if i wanted to (i very rarely feel like it) cause there’s a point of sale for drugs in a park/square in my neighborhood where i used to hang out a lot so i’m a familiar face there and i know who to approach for those, but i had trouble getting anything else (like lsd and mdma, which are favorites of mine). even though im in the scene and im sure i could find sources for other things if i asked around enough, i avoid doing that cause i’m introverted and actually pretty shy irl, not to mention i have to be extra careful ab who i talk to since i myself sell too and already got a reputation in my neighborhood, so i cant risk talking to a tattle. so i only managed to get my hands on shrooms, lsd, and some harder to find stuff like muscimol, dob, dom, etc, when i met my ex bf — he’s like a walking phonebook of drug sources cause of how extroverted he is + he works in politics and, yk, politicians are all involved with these things. (and he grows his own shrooms for money but also for fun, it’s really sweet how much he loves working in his “garden”). but i’m getting really off track here

if you want, we can exchange numbers and i could also send u some links of trustworthy websites that sell shrooms. they’re all run by people i know personally (friends of my ex) and they don’t usually do international shipping but if i ask my ex to talk to them and ur willing to pay for that, they’d probably agree to it. if u live in north america or europe, that would actually probably be cheaper than buying from a local plug, you’d probably only spend ab 20 dollars for 3 grams (the usual starter dose for shrooms — but i’d advise you to buy another 6 or 7 grams so you can have an intense trip some other time if you enjoy ur first, beginner one) + shipping, cause my country’s currency is really “devalued” rn so even tho it’s expensive here, it’ll turn out pretty cheap when u convert it to dollars or euros. and i have no idea how much shrooms cost wherever u live, but it’s probably more than that, cause these guys actually dont profit much, they sell for 25% more than what they spend on growing the shrooms, and it’s a lot of work (seriously, i see my ex doing it and i’ve tried myself and it takes several hours of meticulous, annoying work for days just to get a few). but even tho i can vouch for them, you’d still be giving money and ur address to a stranger on the internet, and who’s to say i’m not scheming to steal ur money, yk? (i’m not, i wouldnt even be profiting from it, but ofc you’d still be taking a leap of faith — and so would i, cause who’s to say ur not a narc lol). but i’d only feel comfortable helping out if u can prove that u are at least 16 years old

i’m guessing you’ve already done ur homework on shrooms, but i could also help out if u have any questions ab it, it’s a subject that i love chatting ab — one could say drugs are even a special interest of mine fr, i like studying them even more than trying them out; i study medicine and pharmacology. getting high is just chemical reactions, pure science, and at the same time it’s a deeply spiritual and philosophical experience that a lot of people report to be life changing. and i believe that if u study those chemicals and human physiology enough, you can “control” the spiritual part of it and make sure that you find what you’re looking for in ur trip

I want to try shrooms for nerdy spiritual reasons, but like how do you even begin to find a plug or trip sitter when you don't have irl friends all of your friends are straight-edge and also I'm scared of the Dark Web :3

[shroomi1e]

realistic reasons why genshin men are undatable

pt. 2 ft: ayato, scaramouche, dottore, pantalone, heizou, venti (part 1)

cw: light cursing, mild violence

a/n: WOO IM BACK FROM HIATUS🥳 im treating this as a warm up and just kinda throwing it out there, ill start working on more content so stick around for that :)

· · ───────────── ·𖥸· ───────────── · ·

ayato

well....

he's incredibly overworked, constantly running around trying to carry his clan and the yashiro commission on his shoulders

and him being a powerful person, it's likely that you'd be put in constant danger from those who want his position

he might be overprotective because of that, and would very much like to stick to your side 24/7 but obviously he can't

so try to get used to having bodyguards and the shuumatsuban tailing your ass all the time

but on a lighter(?) note: he probably plays really dumb pranks on you☠️

we already know that he's into seeing people struggle and squirm

so i can imagine he purposely sets things up to make you uncomfy or make it easy for him to tease you

he's still very much a gentleman so he won't push it too far but... that doesn't change the fact that he's a sadist

he's not as bad as diluc or childe, but he definitely needs some getting used to

scaramouche

well for starters, he greatly lacks in emotional capacity, he might not even tell you he has feelings for you

he's definitely bossy, does NOT want to be told what to do, even if it's "kind suggestions", he will not be tolerating anything

because of this, it might be difficult when trying to teach him about romantic relationships, he just kinda does whatever he wants to protect his pride

i feel like he'd also be rly pissy, he probably throws tantrums over the littlest mistakes or inconveniences

not to mention he's possessive, i can definitely see him as a more yandere-ey type

so say your final goodbyes to your friends and family because it's likely you're not ever seeing them again☠️

but before you lose hope! if you manage to get on dottore's good side, he might just help you do a factory reset on him

but then it wouldn't be the little electro gremlin we know and love, so you're better off just trying to change him by yourself (you can't)

dottore

i feel like he's similar to albedo, except he's sociopathic and a little more cynical

it's pretty obvious, he's experimented and hurt countless numbers of children and god knows what else

his experiments are on par if not worse than alice's experiments

dottore is most likely desensitized from this and rarely worries about your safety, brushing it off by saying, "I can fix it later"

but if we get past all the dark stuff, he's probably a nerd. a huge nerd.

since he was always an outcast and has been lonely for a while, I can imagine him rambling about his project for hours and hours on end

gets really really excited and happily tells you about how he's successfully chopped someone's limbs off☺️🥰

(I mean it's lowkey cute but like...)

he's always been shamed for what he does, so when you finally accept him he is determined to never let you go. ever.

keeps you around at all times, you're almost like a doll to him

he has some redeemable parts, idek at this point to be honest

pantalone

as of now, the only information we have on him is the harbinger trailer so this one is a little difficult

since he essentially manages the finances of the fatui, he's rich, even more so than childe

holds money to a very high regard, thinking it can solve and fix any problem

of course money can work in many situations, but rarely does it ever solve relationship issues

will give you gifts and money and other luxuries, but never sacrificing anything else for you

if you complain about him not giving enough affection or time to you, he'll simply state that he is indeed giving his love to you, just in a different form

has a hard time understanding that not everyone thinks about money like he does

he has good intentions and genuinely believes that throwing luxury items at you will convince you that he loves you

but unfortunately he's very set in his ways, i believe it will take some time for him to understand and relate to you

i think he is definitely better than childe, scara, and dottore

as of now it is assumed that he hasn't committed any violent or heinous crimes other than corrupting other nation's economics

heizou

he's perfect.

venti

he's the type to just sing anywhere and everywhere, it's tolerable since he's a great singer but itd be lowkey embarrassing

drunk 24/7

an extremely heavy drinker, always reeks of wine/alcohol whenever he walks by

requires assistance for when he blacks out while drinking, sobering him up will be a routine

but on a more serious note, he is an archon, an immortal being, while you're a human

much like zhongli, he might not even consider staying with you

he is the god of freedom, and the last thing he'd want is for you to be chained down to a relationship with someone like him

will respect your wishes if you insist on staying by his side, it just hurts knowing that you'll age and grow while venti never looks any different from the day before

even as an archon, he has his own issues to, such as his trauma from losing his friend

you could work him through it, though it might be difficult since he's lived with it for thousands of years

you might also fix his drinking problem if you work out his dead-friend trauma, you'd have to have his trust though

he is most definitely messier than zhongli, but i can see him being a genuinely kind person minus his chronic alcoholism and messy trauma

[marcsburnerphone]

His lady at the bar (tangerine x f reader)

Part two of ‘lady at the bar’

Warnings: Alcohol, flirting, SMUT (in future chapters), kissing, cat calling.

Summary:

Tangerine was always sharp and dapper, intimidatingly classic man. He never found the time to experience romance of any sorts. Lemon begged him to get out there and if he found the right one and he empathizes the RIGHT one she would love him despite his work field.

He found that to be absolute nonsense he believed there’d never be anyone for him till he found you.

————-

You called the number tangerine had left you nothing .

You called again nothing.

You sent a “hey are you free?” Text, nothing.

You gave up.

——————

It was Friday night your off day you’d promised yourself you’d treat yourself to some fun with your girls.

You got up, went for a run, made breakfast, scheduled classes and then proceeded to shower and get ready.

You were going to the same bar in London where you

Met the now mystery man who you had mistakenly captured his attention.

You wanted to look sexy and feel sexy and no color does it better than black.

Doing natural makeup and finding a classy black dress with a corset top and silk loose bottom and some low heels you bee-lined straight to the bar to meet up with them.

“Im gonna get round two I’ll be back.” You went to head to the bar then you seen him as dapper as ever rings on those hands hair pristinely slicked back you went straight back to your seat.

“How about you go get drinks and I’ll get round three.” You pointed to your best girl friend who you’d told abojt mystery man to.

“O-okay yeah okay I can do that.” She got up and you sat down focused in on him you should’ve known he wouldn’t reply.

Something in you felt a bit jealous was here with someone else or was it normal for him to handout his number just not answer a call.

“Y/n you okay?” Your friend Jess asked noticing you weren’t involved in conversation.

“Yeah yeah I’m sorry got lost for a sec.” You replied refocusing your attention when you swore you felt his eyes on you.

His ears masterly perked at the sound of your name the woman whom never called.

He needed to clarify this and turned for a quick second to see you completely dolled up with some Mates beautiful as ever. he knew it too good to be true but something about tangerine was he never took attention to anyone like he took it to you and now it was yours completely.

His eyes followed you wherever you went he counted that pattern of your steps or the men who wanted your attention or your small laughs too. What they were saying didn't look genuine. As to your friends he had no clue as to where they gone.

You felt his eyes on you and some part of you felt safer your friends had left to a club and you felt not in the mood to party so you stayed for a while longer but now getting ready to head out.

“Hey pretty girl.” This creep had been saying nasty remarks to every woman in his path so you sent him a side eye to get your point across.

“Come on slow down.” He grabbed your arm harshly jolting you steps back.

“Let me go.” You were scared petrified really.

You watched his eyes turn to the side of your head where a dangerous man strides torwards tou snaking a hand around your waist.

“Do we have a problem here.” You knew that voice and ever better his scent your heart beat now racing for other reasons.

“No sir we do not.” The mans grip on your arm fell to his side.

“Are you sure cause too me-.” He’d let go of your waist to grab the man by the arm the same way he grabbed yours and made him stand closely.

“It looks like you were giving my lady unwanted attention.” You rolled your eyes. So not only can he not answer he can watch you from afar and swoop in to not only be your savior but also “his lady”.

“I’m really sorry about that I hadn’t known shed been yours.” He glanced back at your nervous or annoyed expression.

He’d settle for less than a fight tonight.

“Well never again then.”he threw him into the counter the man stood in front of before.

“Apologize.” He spoke sternly the man regaining some of his balance muttered apologies your way pathetically.

His hand found its place on your lower back guiding you out of the bar and onto the busy streets.

“Ah, so the woman who doesn’t call.” You outright laughed, throwing your head slightly back.

He was confused and his Mouth fell agape a bit. Do you think this was funny?

“Yeah right, more like the man who doesn’t answer.” He was definitely confused by this. Now your laughter died down quickly at his expression.

“Wait god are you serious.” You’d tilted your head and then began to fish your phone from your bag.

“Yeah, does it look like I’m joking.” No it really didn't, he looked quite scary actually.

“I called you twice and even left a pathetic message you twat.” You were a bit encouraged by your two drinks to continue.

“And not only did you not answer, you showed up tonight and saved me like some damsel in distress I mean and “my lady” really!” You shook your head a bit, his eyes were slightly wider.

You looked extremely sexy like this and the temptation to lean in on you was flooding his veins. But quickly got back to conversation. Have you called?

“I haven’t gotten a call so really don’t know what your talkin about!” You held your phone up to him and yeah you had called he went to look at the number and would you look at that.

“Oh darling, that's the wrong number.” He laughed slightly because he found it humerous and secondly because it was a bit embarrassing.

You laughed again, genuine and hard, you hadn't been stood up, he just made a mistake and noticed your absence in calls.

“That's right one I’ve now taken yours also.” He handed it back to you, his hand brushing yours slightly.

“I’ve thought all week you just ignored me.” You placed it back in your purse with a small half smirk. He felt a bit bad it had been his fault.

He threw caution to the wind and let out a breathy “fuck it”.

He leaned in strongly wrapping a hand behind your neck groaning a bit at how easily your mouth melted to his how you tased of coffee and liquor.

Your hand snaked to his beautiful hair and tugged his presence was so strong and protective it felt like you’d been claimed by him in the small lit street. But he knew he’d take it to far if he continued.

He pulled back from your perfect pout. “Delicious,” he whispered at the sight of you lips slightly swollen eyes. Lust dazed he wanted you so bad.

“It’s your bedtime darling I hope to see you soon.” He hailed you a taxi and slipped the driver more money than needed.

“Make sure she gets home safe or I will find you.” He shut your car door and watched the car leave.

He was just shy of obsessed.

He returned home sending you a goodnight message which you quickly replied to good girl he thought.

“What’s got you so chipper.” Lemon said from the kitchen counter.

“Nothing goodnight lemon.” Tangerine walked to his room trying shaking his thoughts of you he needed to see you.

————-

Part two moment!!!!

(Part three here!)

Leave some advice commment and what not its greatly appreciated and motivating thank you

[frenchrebelfries]

Fury’s Daughter

AN: Idk wth I just wrote... I just got this idea so yeah... Happy Reading!

.

You are the adoptive daughter of Nick Fury, when you were 5 he adopt you when your parents died on a plane crash that was cause by Hydra, your parents and Nick were good friends that’s why he took you in.

You were a smart kid, always analyzing things, Fury told everything to you and never lie. To protect your identity Nick made you a new one as you volunteer to be an agent of Hydra to gain information and was branded by the organization. You did dangerous mission and always getting out alive.

You were then sent back to and joined the Avengers initiative but the avengers were suspicious of you as you came out of nowhere, no files, no nothing but a name and Fury’s trust.

No one knew who you are to protect your identity in recon so the avengers treated you coldly but you didn’t care, you didn’t tell it to your father about the situation you are in because you were train to adapt and you did. You were kind to them and all as you and Natasha got closer… like really close. Out of all Natasha Romanoff is the one you have trusted the most.

.

.

You got out from the elevator after a short report you did to Nick about the information you got for the Winter Soldier when you heard the laughing of the team as they sat in the living room with pizza on the table as they talked and laugh at each other.

The laughter halted when they all noticed you and silence came… you knew you were never welcome her but your father trust them so you really had no choice but to put up with it, sensing their discomfort you just gave them a nod greeting them.

“Good evening Avengers” no one answered as you expected and left and went to your room, you heard a light foot steps following you and a hand holding your wrist and seeing a familiar red head you have fallen with for the past few weeks.

“Hey Y/N, I’m sorry about the boys you know how hard headed they are” she sincerely apologized to you as you gave her a soft smile

“it’s ok Natasha, I know they still don’t fully trust me and I understand why, so it’s cool” you replied to her as she looked at you suspiciously searching your face for any lies but you being good at hiding your emotion she immediately gave up when she didn’t find one.

“So… Movie night?” she asked cheekily at you as your brows furrows

“what about the others?” you asked her as she started pulling you towards her room as she shrugged

“they can take care of themselves, come on!”

.

.

One day when you were alone practicing in the gym at 6 am of the morning you accidentally took off your clothes leaving you in your sports bra forgetting that Steve Rogers is always awake at that time and saw your Hydra mark on your chest and thought of you as an enemy and told the team as they planned to eliminate you on the next mission.

To eliminate the Hydra scum.

.

.

“can I get a hand over here?” you heard Clint said in the coms as you took down the last guy from your floor inside a hydra base that you’ve been recon last week

“I’m coming on your way” you answered running to Clint’s direction knowing the base like the palm of your hands as you shot a Hydra soldier who was sneaking behind him

“Thanks” you nodded at him you continue your pursuit taking down agents as you skillfully glide yourself on the battle field.

The battle had stop when Clint finished the last guy as Steve and Natasha immerge from the control room with a case on hand.

They must have gotten the information

“Mission complete, how’s the perimeter Tony?” Captain said on the coms as you get close to Natasha scanning her for any injuries and sighted in relieve when you found none.

“Perimeter is clear as the sky Steve were ready to go home” you smiled at the thought of home… Fury promised you a dinner with Maria and Coulson when you get back since things have been busy these couple of week and you were really excited about it since it’s going to be your first dinner with them again since you got back from recon.

“time for phase 2 then, Romanoff” you frowned at Steve’s word

Phase 2? You never heard about it when at the briefing

You were still in confusion when Steve called Natasha and you felt a searing pain by your side

You wiped your head to your side seeing a knife… a knife you gifted to Natasha lunge by your side.

You looked at her eyes full of betrayal and so as Clint and Steve who was in there with you.

“Phase 2 complete, were leaving, now die you Hydra scum” Steve said voice full of spite hearing a ‘good job’ from Tony and a ‘let’s go’ from Clint as you fall down on your knees looking at their retreating figure leaving you.

The last one you saw was the red headed assassin taking one last look at you as they close the door as your whole body fall down on the cold ground.

You shakily grabbed your phone dialing your father’s number as he answered rather cheerful

“Y/N why are you calling me? Is your mission done?” you heard your dad’s voice making you tear up a bit

“D-dad…”

“get your ass here kid Maria and Coulson just arrived here and im about to finish cooking these turkey”

“c-can I have a rain check on the dinner dad… I kinda messed up…” your voice was now shaking and you are feeling colder than usual the blade may have a poison as you felt a burn and getting light headed faster than normal.

Fury must have sense that there is something wrong by the way your voice sounded

“Y/N what happened? Are you ok?” you can hear his voice full of worry as you heard Maria and Coulson from the background asking what’s wrong.

“I-I think I was the p-phase 2 of S-Steve’s plan dad… it’s really g-getting cold here ya know” blood tricked on the ground from your wound

Your vision darken as flashes of memories filled your eyes.

You can hear the shuffles from the other line saying they are tracking my call and will be sending medical help

“I’m s-scared d-dad… I still d-don’t wanna go” you cried,

“Help is on the way Y/N keep holding on I’m here for you kid” you can hear the shakiness of your father’s voice, you kept trying to keep your eyes open and now seeing dark spots forming.

“T-thanks for everything dad… tell Maria and Coulson I love them…” your voice was barely audible hearing their cried for you to wake up.

“Keep your eyes open for me kid… please”

“I-I think a need a nap… l-love you dad” and you were gone.

They kept calling for you but you never answered back.

.

.

Fury along with Maria and Coulson with a medical team arrived at the base eyes redden because of crying as they found you on the cold ground with your phone by your side and a stab.

Fury cradle you like a baby as the medic announced your death with Maria and Coulson crying by the side.

.

.

“Did you check the monitors?” Fury’s cold voice echoed in a quinjet as your cold body layed beside him with your head on his lap stroking the hair that is covering your face.

“you’re not gonna like it boss…” Maria said with blood shot eyes as she played the video of Steve ordering the Phase 2 and Natasha Romanoff stabbing you as they left you.

“call them up at SHIELD… they would pay for what they did to her” Nick ordered as Coulson took his phone out to call them.

Nick glanced at you as he swiped some blood by your mouth hugging your corpse closer to him.

.

.

.

They avenger’s arrived at SHIELD seeing Fury holding Y/N’s hand as she lay dead on the table with Maria and Coulson by the back holding back their anger.

“what is this Fury?” Steve stepped out in confusion to why they got the body of Y/N

“What is the phase 2 Captain” Nick’s voice was colder than usual

“… to eliminate the Hydra-“ Steve answered as the other’s stayed silent

“and who is the Hydra?”

 “Y/n…”

 Then there’s silence, the team were uncomfortable with the silence but Steve was getting impatient with all of it.

“Look I don’t know what is your point here but you should thank us for killing the mole here Fury”

Fury looked at them as Coulson held Maria who was about to attack Steve as Fury spoke…

   “I see no dead mole here Rogers… all I see is my dead daughter”

  The team’s eyes widen as they froze from there spot

“W-what?” Bruce asked

“Y/N Fury... is my daughter who you called a Hydra scum”

“B-but she had the brand-“

“She had the brand because she was undercover inside Hydra that gave her the mark to extract information for your missions that is saving billions!” Fury angrily shouted making them all flinch.

All of it dawned to them as Natasha fall into her knees realizing she killed a hero… she killed her friend who trusted her… she killed the person who loved her…

“I pulled her out of the recon to keep her safe knowing her all her covers were blown, I put her into your team so she can be protected thinking after all those years of being away we can have a normal dinner like she wanted for years, I trusted my daughter in your hand yet you are the one who killed her…”

Fury stood up tears streaming down on his face

“Avenger Initiative’s termination is effective immediately, all of you would be put in maximum security prison for killing Y/N Fury” Agents entered taking their weapons and cuffing them

 “Nick… I’m sorry” Steve’s voice filled with regret rang out as Fury looked at him coldly throwing a file on the ground in front of him as the content spilled revealing pictures of the Winter Soldier.

 “Y/N wanted to give you this information from the last recon she was put in to, James “Bucky” Barnes is alive and now known as the Winter Soldier who is working for Hydra and has killed thousands”

Steve’s face was full of shock knowing his best friend Bucky is alive…

“Nick-“

“I’m sorry to cap…” Fury cut him off and coldly apologies to Steve who is now confuse to why as everyone in the room looked at them in silence.

 “you took someone dear away from me… and now I’m taking yours, Good Bye Avengers and thank you for your service” before Steve and others could react they were all tranquilized knocking them out cold and only waking up in a glass cell with Ross smirking at them as they sat there in silence thinking the things that they have done for you.

“welcome to your new life Avengers…in prison!” and a loud laugh erupted from Ross as he walked out as ex-heroes gazes followed his exit.

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[moririki]

⤷ SAFETY NET

FATGUM & HAWKS X READER -> 1.1K
when partnered with another pro hero, expect them to look out for you and have your back when in danger )

REQUEST -> n/a
CONTAINS -> pro hero reader, reader falling off a building but not like that, reader thinking they might die for like two seconds in hawks' but they do NOT, fanon hawks(?) kind of im sorry, lazy plot
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> idk remember that tiktok trend around january where someone pretends to fall off a building and then make a swift getaway???? yeah it's just that basically

❍ FATGUM

-> "hey, get back here!" you ignored the angry voice, sprinting harder as you made your way to the roof of the building while cursing under your breath

-> when you clocked into work this morning, you didn't expect to be infiltrating a villain's headquarters in order to steal some documents to be on the agenda

-> neither did your partner fatgum

-> you shared an incredulous look before being given directions and a debrief

-> since fatgum was a rescue hero, there was an agreement for him to linger behind as backup while you went inside

-> though your quirk was nowhere near suited to this mission, you were still the better option to do so

-> you spoke into your earpiece quickly as you threw open the door to the roof, getting hit with the fierce wind

-> "you better fucking catch me, toyomitsu," you muttered to yourself, clutching the documents to your chest

-> you ran to the edge of the building, sucking in a deep breath as you saw how high up you were

-> but if you were to squint, you could make out the faint yellow blob that was your partner

-> "i'm right here, y/n," he chirped through the earpiece. "well, i'm a few stories down"

-> despite the adrenaline coursing through you, you giggled a little. you were about to respond when the door to the roof banged open again behind you

-> you turned to see several men, with guns, run out and surround you

-> well, it was now or never

-> "you've got nowhere to run, hero," the ringleader snarled

-> you tried to sound confident, racking your brain for any witty one-liner

-> "maybe not run, but..." you trailed off, raising your hand in a mock salute before steeling your nerves and taking a step back off of the ledge

-> you would have laughed at the way the ringleader's eyes looked like they would boggle out of his head, but the horrifying feeling of freefalling invaded your senses

-> maintaining your death grip on the documents you had risked your life to get, you shut your eyes and curled in on yourself as you braced yourself for any impact

-> sure, fatgum said he was here, but the wind rushing through your hair and the way the roof got further and further away wasn't instilling much confidence in you

-> but after those worst moments of your life, you felt your body hit something soft

-> it happened fast, but one moment you were gaining momentum, and the next you were safely engulfed in the familiar warmth of fatgum

-> his arms were wrapped around you, and you sucked in a breath that you didn't realise that you were holding in

-> you didn't move, just letting your heartbeat return to normal and for your senses to come back

-> you vaguely became aware of the way toyomitsu was patting your head in some attempt to comfort you, and you clung to him gladly

-> "right now, you're probably my favourite person in the entire world." you finally let out a breathless laugh, and you heard the comforting rumble of fatgum's in return

-> "well, i'd be a terrible partner if i didn't catch you. i guess i'd feel bad, too." you giggled as he finally set you down on your own feet, though he still stayed close

-> "now, how about we go get something to eat?" he suggested

-> "you read my mind," you beamed at him

❍ HAWKS

-> when you, two young aspiring heroes, had initially been assigned to work as partners there was a great protest

-> both you and the winged hero were adamant about working best on your own, but it was out of your hands

-> so for the past few months, you adapted to having a partner during your hero work

-> the amount of squabbles that the two of you had over which one of you was the sidekick was exhausting

-> with your quirk being accustomed to land and his to air, it was a bit of a mystery as to how you were supposed to work together

-> but you made it work

-> both of you were extremely capable as heroes, and quickly adapted to each others' quirks

-> there was a reason for you both being placed in the top ten, after all

-> but when hawks wasn't taking down villains, he gave no indication of being ranked 2nd in the country

-> "aw, c'mon, y/n, don't tell me you aren't hungry," he complained

-> "keigo, we aren't going to the fried chicken place"

-> the man almost pouted

-> "why not?"

-> "the last time we went there i had to sit and watch you eat them until you were sucking on the bone. i'd rather not have to see that again, ever"

-> hawks opened his mouth, probably to sulk, when you both heard a some screams from around the corner

-> exchanging a quick look, both of you prepared wordlessly and started to approach the scene

-> from what you could see, there was a villain stood outside of a jewellery store, with several civilians scrambling for cover

-> you couldn't see any major damage, but your eyes widened as you saw how one man in a suit was suddenly launched high into the air by the villain

-> "looks like i'll handle that," hawks muttered, quickly taking flight and catching up to the guy

-> you sprang into action too, helping to evacuate the area while the villain's attention was diverted by your partner's flashy wings

-> you had just ushered a woman to safety when you felt the ground slip away from beneath you and start to shrink as you were flung away at an alarming speed

-> well, fuck, you thought. i guess this is it.

-> as you reached the apex of your trajectory, you felt your stomach drop as you began to return back to earth

-> you felt a bit pathetic as you pictured the headlines- "number three hero dies from being thrown too hard, did nothing to prevent fall"

-> but when the slam of concrete never greeted your body, and an arm wrapped around your waist and jerked you swiftly upwards again, you were reminded just why you had been stuck with a partner

-> "geez, was a bank robber too much to handle for the number 3 hero?" you heard hawks' smartass comment, and you glared at him in return

-> "you really left it until the last second, huh?" you poked his shoulder in annoyance, and felt him laugh as he readjusted his grip

-> "maybe if you agree to go to the chicken place after arresting this guy i won't drop you"

-> "deal"

take a look at the menu - ,, 🍡 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[moxfirefly]

How about #25: can you help me with the zipper? And #35 spanking with our favorite purple genius?? Spice things up lol

👁👄👁 I am-

Y’all heathens, I’m more than happy to.

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

Stepping into the Lair you took in the serene and quiet atmosphere. It was late, very late to be honest but work parties can get pretty crazy after all. Regardless it had been fun, tiresome but fun.

Originally you were going to go home and crawl under the duvet for about ten years if possible.

But you missed Donatello.

You couldn’t drag him anywhere and while sometimes you wish you could it wasn’t best to dwell on it. Heels in hand you patted through the living room area and into his lab where you could hear him speaking. Judging by the time you figured he was doing his part time job. He had picked up the thing out of pure boredom and to actually have some income for future supplies. It was child’s play for him, with nothing too above his skill set. Usually you sat and listened to the colorful array of clients and had a good laugh while doing so.

Most times you liked just hearing him giving the step by steps of things, or how he remotely accessed the person’s computer to fix the issue himself. His distaste over viruses and worms while he angrily typed away. So what? You were hella in love, the mutant terrapin had slithered his way into your heart.

But you kinda wanted him to slide in your pants, or well dress.

You entered his room with sly smile, Donnie was bouncing a little ball while he spoke in his best ‘customer service voice’ as you liked to joke about. He gave you a tired smile, bouncing the ball towards you which you caught. “Well sir, if you in the near future receive an email stating some prince from Asia is trying to protect his rubies it’s adviced that you don’t give out your social security number” He briefly muted the microphone. “Hey beautiful” He greeted you as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“That ruby scam is honestly my favorite of this week” Came your muffled words, Donnie chuckled and rubbed your back. “He’s called me every name under the sun, brb” He clicked a button on his headset and kept up his polite tone. Reluctantly you let go of him and placed the little bouncy ball on his desk. “Can you help me with the zipper?” You whispered at him to which he happily obliged.

Giving a set of easy to follow steps to the nasty customer, Donnie gripped the delicate zipper and gently pulled it down. His gaze followed each patch of soft skin being reveleaed to him, which he couldn’t help himself but touch. You felt the palm of his hand on the middle of your back, the sweet gentle caress made you roll your neck until it popped a few times. As he continued his argument with the customer he let both hands wander, kneading the flesh presented to him, much to your delight.

“I’m more than happy to remove those viruses but the rest has to be solved with your bank, in the mean time I’ll email you a forum to fill out about the incident while I work on this” Donnie’s voice could be described as a verbal version of an eye roll, so much sass he possessed. Again he muted the microphone and sighed. “Men truly are stupid,” He gripped the straps of your dress and pushed them aside and down your body they slid. “I’m glad that even as a large mutant man you can accept that” The two of you chuckled.

You felt his lips on your exposed back and caught the small inhale he took of your scent. “Where’s your bra?” He peaked over your shoulder and made a soft surprise sound. “The lines ruin the dress so I put these nifty little cups on” You grabbed his mug of coffee and took a generous sip.

Then you felt him tap your rear.

“You gotta learn to share your coffee, babe” You smirked at his disapproving noise, he could be quite greedy with his caffeinated beverages. “I share, but I’ve seen you chug my coffee before” He sat back down on his swivel chair and shamelessly ogled you.

Donnie’s hand landed on your rear, palm caressing the left cleft of your cheek. “Shifts would be a lot more exciting if this is what I had to look at all night” He gripped the flesh, enjoying the silky material of your underwear. Looking over your shoulder you raised an eyebrow at him, not minding in the very least his ministrations.

Not even when he let go only to smack your bottom with a little more force, enough to make you grip the table for support. “Jerk, you get handsy when you’re running on three hours of sleep” You placed your palms on the table, leaning a somewhat forward and giving him a better view of your bottom. “Five actually, managed a nap” He pulled your underwear down to your surprise and leaned in to give the reddened flesh a soft kiss.

Then he gave a series of much harder taps, nothing to brash for it to be loud but enough to make you bite your lip. “You haven’t clocked out, you know?” You wiggled your rear to tease him, enjoying the happy content sigh that escaped him. “I’m supposedly fixing the mess this guy has on his computer,” He gave your rear two more hits before gripping the burning flesh. “But this is way more exciting” The outline of his hand on your bottom made him smile, job well done in his mind.

He pulled you back onto his lap, back to his plastron and used his own legs to keep yours spread. That delightfully merciless hand of his gripped your core, the warmth making him hungrier with anticipation. “Don,” You sighed his name enjoying the lazy outline he mapped out around your core.

Then he switched the mic back on, your eyes widened. He greeted a new customer with the usual name of the company and his name just as he spread your lips. “I’m sorry to hear you’re having difficulties with your new system ma’am” You wiggled in his grasp trying to glare at him but could only muffle your sounds when said digit dipped inside. Your back arched as he thrusted indolently, enjoying each squirm and quiet gasp. “I’m goin to walk you through some basic steps if it’s alright with you” He spoke dangerously close to your ear, tongue sneaking out to lick the shell of your ear.

You almost moaned right next to the mic of his headset.

It was torturous.

The call was reaching the half hour mark from what you could see on his computer and by now he was fully rubbing your clit. You prayed the wet noises couldn’t be heard through the call. Each swipe made your toes curl, sweat had already broken out on your skin and you had bitten down on the inside of your cheek with enough force for it to throb with pain. You knew you wouldn’t last long, and the feeling of Donnie’s hard on against your rear was driving you crazy. You smacked his thigh signaling him you weren’t going to make it.

“Ma’am Im going to be placing you on a brief hold, thank you and my apologies” He muted the mic quickly and grinned when your body went stiff. “OhFUCK!” You gave a loud and lengthy shakey moan as Donnie continued to rub you through your orgasm. He pressed his lips against your cheek, tapping your sensitive nub, clearly entertained with each tremble you gave. “I think you’re the happiest customer I’ve ever had while working” You chuckled breathless, smacking his leg again.

“God you’re such a jerk! They could’ve heard me” Your cheeks flushed embarrassed. “Half the fun if you ask me” He whispered it across your skin as you felt him shove his sweats away then lift you by your thighs. Your eyes nearly bugged out, he couldn’t possibly...?

He entered you, the position making it a tight fit and causing the two of you to moan.

“Can’t make a peep, darling” He thrusted lazily upwards. “Don- theresOH- don’t switch back to the ca-“ You covered your mouth when he unmuted the call.

“Sorry for the delay ma’am, as I was explaining” He cleared his throat, feeling the effects but recuperating quickly. His hips moved lazily, hands gripping the backs of your knees firmly. You caught a glimpse of his blissed out face through the monitor, god you bit down on your bottom lip and moved with him.

You were in for a long shift.

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

[batfamtv]

me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ

kambal x reader; established relationship

gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)

sfw

the three idiots

seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around

this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done

that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances

alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out

absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language

people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud

with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you

basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes

the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”

when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around

the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on

other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”

in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins

they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”

with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)

when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway

the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you

you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping

so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves

you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!

and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap

crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies

the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”

“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”

a huge cuddle pile

both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them

both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice

they still, however, snore quite loudly

crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in

basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock

most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you

really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to

crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you

basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol

nsfw under the cut

nsfw

threesome? threesome

boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well

you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much

you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat

crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read

meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him

like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants

he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”

crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”

and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(

but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear

holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”

you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss

basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress

crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”

basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are

basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt

you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”

you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes

you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building

basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock

immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock

basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”

crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest

basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly

you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt

“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”

your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit

“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”

speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm

he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”

you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock

a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s

crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm

“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”

crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”

[smutsonian]

the mobster’s little girl

pairing: mob!steve rogers x reader

summary: what happens when the big bad mobster gets blackmailed by your father to marry you? (kind of fluffy kind of not. kinda dark kinda not.)

warnings: smut, violence, death, obsessive behavior kind of, poorly written smut (for real i skipped some), innocent reader (kind of?), lil bit of angst, drowning, accidents in the kitchen, reader getting burned, not proofread, a lot of mistakes for sure (It’s a long fic and im too lazy to find the mistakes), loss of virginity skskks, oral deed (f & m), fingering skksks, kind of a handie, please let me know if i skipped some, please read at your own risk, rumlow is a warning periodt, this has crack vibes i swear idk what i was typing at some point, ddlg? (is this ddlg? jesus fuck idek anymore), dub-con but like not really?, the POV gets fucked up towards the end so goodluck with understanding this piece of sheeet

word count: 11k (what da actual fuck? this is loooong)

a/n: df am i being awkward while writing them warnings for? Holy shit that’s a long list of warnings

big thanks to @buckys-forgotten-plum​ for helping me edit <3 luv u mwah

this is a combined request of a mob!steve x innocent!reader + steve teaching reader to suck his ding-a-ding-dong

this has a sucky ending. i hate the fucking ending. 

also, i don’t got no clue on how to do spacing on tumblr so im terribly sorry for that.

masterlist

Maybe it’s because they were terrified. Maybe it’s because they know what’s out there and what evil lurks in every corner of the city. Whatever the reason is, her parents hid her from the outside world. Never was she able to step another foot out of the gates of her home. No matter how huge the mansion her parents keep her in, it still feels small and lonely. Instead of the friends that she should’ve made in kindergarten, she became friends with her parents’ employees. Instead of the high school friends that she was supposed to have, she has the few cleaners in the house. She didn’t feel like they work for her because they’ve become her friends that keep her sane for being in one place for her whole life. Being able to go somewhere that’s not the garden, the gazebo, or even the lake that became her favorite place has always been in her mind but never her heart never really demanded to go out. She gets curious at times but it’s not enough to make her go against her parents’ number one rule.

 “Never let yourself be known and never talk to anyone outside this house. If possible, keep yourself away from the entrance gates.”

Being the obedient daughter you are, you followed that rule without question. You became the daughter that your parents wanted you to be. You learned everything from your tutor. The basics of economics but mostly proper etiquette. You didn’t know why you had to learn those but you did what your parents wanted you to do without question. You always do…

 That’s why when your parents told you that you were to marry, you agreed with a little bit of hesitance. “It’s for the best, princess.” Is the only thing that your father said while your mom looked at you with a small smile. You thought that it was going to be like the ones in the movies. You imagined a magical wedding but you didn’t even have one. You were told to sign some papers and just like that, you’re married to some man you don’t even know. A man that you didn’t see until a few days after the signing of papers.

  Steve never felt so disrespected in his entire life. He’s so used to being the powerful man of the city, the country even, that never did he expect some feeble man to come barreling into his business. The Y/L/Ns… He knew of them but he knew little about them. The family is so secretive but are known to be powerful. Nobody knows how they do it but now he has been graced to learn how.

Blackmail… Along with bribery. How fucking pathetic.

He didn’t know how the man managed to acquire his plans for a rival gang but somehow, the fucker did. The rival gang that he was trying to take down for so long and managed to make a plan of action until this fucker messed everything up. The bastard wanted to marry his daughter off to him for a powerful alliance. Saying something about how both of their names would benefit from the marriage. The bastard also promised a fat amount of money that he’ll receive once he marries his daughter. The bastard knew that money has always been a problem for him by the smug look on his face. 

“It’s simple. You provide us security, we give you money. We seal the deal once you sign the papers to be my daughter’s husband.” The old fucker says with such pride in his voice. Steve gritted his teeth before making a move to toss the man out but the fucker clicks his tongue at him. “Ahh, we also wouldn’t want Rumlow to know about your plans on attacking his turf a fortnight from now, do we?” The old fuck stares at him as he waits for his answer.

 Having no other choice, Steve says yes with flared nostrils. He glares at the way the man smiles giddily while walking towards the door. Before the old man could leave, he turned back towards Steve with a serious look before pointing a finger at him. “One more thing… My daughter will be your wife but you are not to touch her. You live at the mansion with her but you ain’t allowed to touch her. Do get out of her way as much as you can. You get all the money you want by following my orders. That easy. Nice dealing with you.” The man was out the door in an instant as Steve glared at the closed door before picking up a wine glass from his desk and throwing it against the door.

   “It’s a bit weird, mother.” Is your reply when your mother came to visit you in your room and asked you about how you’re feeling given your situation. She continues to brush your hair with her fingers as she hums in response.

 “It’s not like the ones in movies, that’s for sure.” You joke, earning a chuckle from your mother.

“My situation… It’s not really normal, correct?” You pull away from your mother’s hands and turn to look at her. She lets out a sigh before turning you back around and resuming to play with your hair. “No…” She says. “We might have been a bit strict with you but we only did it for your safety. The world out there… It’s not safe.” She continues. Once again, you pull away from your mother to fully give your attention to her. “But you and father are always out there. You put yourselves in danger on the daily so why can’t I?” You look at your mother who was looking at you with an unamused expression. You let out a sigh before sighing. “I know... I know. It sounds a bit silly to ask myself to be put in danger… But what about marrying me off to some stranger! You told me that father is bringing him here after he signed the papers. He’s to live here with all of us. Mother, we don’t even know him. Why would you let a stranger into our home?” You reason out, making exaggerated hand gestures to back yourself up. When your mother makes no effort to respond to you, you retort with a scoff and an eye roll. 

“You’re so hell-bent on keeping me inside this place, claiming that it’s to protect me that you failed to realize that you’re putting all of us in danger by letting an unknown man live with us. Seems kind of idiotic to me.” 

 *SLAP*

 You look at your mother with wide eyes as you hold your left cheek as it is stinging in pain. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was disrespectful of me. I’m sorry.” You scrambled to get away from your mother, ignoring her calls as you left your room to run down the long hallway and down the flight of circular stairs. You went out of the mansion and started running down a pathway towards the lake. You were so upset and focused on getting to your destination that you didn’t see a strange man coming out of a black SUV just as you walked out of the mansion.

 You ran down the wooden dock, frowning at what you had said to your mother. You couldn’t believe how you acted just now. First, you disrespect your mother. Now, you hide yourself away like a child that got reproved for the first time. You clicked your tongue in annoyance, an action that you got from your father, as you paced around the wooden dock. “Of course, they were just trying to protect you, you stupid idiot.” You hit your forehead with your palms over and over before tilting your head backward to stare at the sky, not caring at how your eyes hurt at the blinding sun. 

 You closed your eyes after a few seconds, sighing out as you figured that you should probably go back. Your so-called husband was supposed to arrive today. You start to walk back when your foot slipped and suddenly, water enveloped your body. 

 You fell into the lake.

 You would think that being locked up in a big mansion would give you a lot of time to learn how to swim but with your luck, no one ever thought you how so now you couldn’t do anything but drown.

 Your arms flopped around you as you kicked your legs all over the place just to get some air down your lungs but you only found yourself sinking further down. You couldn’t even scream for help because you know that if you did, you would only be swallowing a whole lot of water. 

 Before you could lose your breath entirely, something grasped your flailing hand. You would’ve screamed if you weren’t pulled out of the water. Turned out, it was a hand. Not some kind of creature from the fantasy movies you’ve watched.

 You were sitting on the wooden dock, gasping for air when the sound of an annoyed huff caught your attention. You tilt your head up to see a man looking down at you with an annoyed expression. Your brain started clicking and then it hit you. He must be your husband.

 “You’re here early.” You whisper, looking down. You weren’t sure how to act around him. Around your husband. You would base it on the movies you’ve watched but so far, those movies were nothing like your life. You were sure that if you tried to act like one of the characters there, you would look like a complete buffoon. 

 “So glad to know that I’m married to a dumbass.” He cuts your thoughts off with a sneer. 

 “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall and drown like that.” You remember the lessons you had. About not engaging in someone else’s hostility. You looked down in embarrassment. You’ve never been called something vile like that so you must’ve made him really upset. He scoffs before shaking his head and leaving you on the wooden floor as he walks away.

After that encounter with your so-called husband, you never really saw him again, even though the two of you were living in the same house. It was a few weeks after the drowning incident and you made sure to not tell anyone about it and you only hoped that Steve (you had to learn his name from your mother) didn’t tell anyone about it either. You and your mother are in good terms again and she’s currently in your room again, telling you how she and your father are to spend a few months in Prague to deal with a few business hiccups. You didn’t bother to ask if you could come with but you did bother to complain about them leaving. “You’re leaving me alone with a stranger under the same roof as me?” You exaggeratedly widened your eyes at your mother. “Oh, stop it. I’ve gotten to know Steve myself. I’m sure you’ll be safe with him. He seems like a nice guy. Although, I think your father gets a little bit on his nerves.” Your mother giggles to herself and you look at her with an amused grin. “You’re closer to my husband than I am with him.” You joked which earned a sympathetic look from your mother.

 “Talk to him. He’s your husband after all.” She caresses your face. You hold her wrist as you push your cheeks towards her hold. “I’m pretty sure he hates me, mother. I have a feeling that he’s scrupulously avoiding me.” 

 “How about you bake him something, hmm? You’re wonderful at baking!” Your mother grins at your excited reaction to the mention of baking.

 “I do love to bake…” You hummed in thought before giving your mother a faux pointed look. “Alright, I will bake but only because I love to bake. So if he doesn’t want to socialize with me, then so be it. I wouldn’t care.” You huff proudly as your mother looked at you with a grin and a hint of playfulness in her eyes.

 “What is it?” You ask her.

 “Why do I get the feeling that you want to impress Steve?” She chuckles at your stunned expression.

 “You have completely lost your mind, mother. Haven’t you got a plane to catch? Go on. Say hello to Prague for me!” You push her out of your room, her laughing at your antics before placing a kiss on your forehead and leaving you to yourself.

  “Ooof!” You hissed as your finger touched the hot tray when you were pulling it out of the oven. You were making the third batch of cookies and somehow, you managed to burn your finger now. You quickly pulled the mittens off before putting the hot finger into your lips, as if sucking the pain away is possible. 

 You heard footsteps coming over and when you turned your head, you saw Steve looking at you with something you couldn’t comprehend. “H-hey.” You pulled your finger out of your mouth before hiding it behind your back like a kid. You tiptoed over the counter to reach the plate of cookies before walking over to him. “I made cookies. Would you… like to try some?” You moved the plate closer to his face but he only scowled at you before taking your right wrist and surveying your hand. He found the finger you were sucking on earlier and muttered something under his breath. You thought you heard him say ‘dumbass’ again like the last time.

 “Put cream on it.” He grumbled before leaving the kitchen. You glared at his back until he turned back around, making you wipe the glare out of your face before smiling bitterly at him. He walked towards you with a dark look until he was inches away from you. The position you two are currently in made you realize how tall he is. How he’s towering over you and how his biceps are poking out of his shirt. His crystal blue eyes are staring deep into your soul and you were almost hypnotized by it. You gulped in nervousness. You remember all the things you told your mother about this certain stranger that could possibly be a danger to you until he smirked and took the plate of cookies from the table before walking out once more, leaving you gaping at the door in confusion as your heart was beating faster than normal. From fear or something else, you do not know.

 ----

 Steve was deep in thought as he chewed on the cookies she made. It was really delicious and he hated that he liked it. He did his best to avoid the girl. He’s trying his best to avoid the girl. He did his best to hate the girl so things would be easier for him. He’s trying his best to hate the girl. He didn’t have time to babysit her. Her father is not someone he wanted to have ties with but he is. Steve didn’t want anything that has to do with that man and that includes her.

 But why is it so hard for him to keep her out of his mind?

 The first time he saw her, she had that cute little frown on her face but he found his heart skipping a beat at the sadness in her eyes. He knew he would regret following her but then he didn’t. He saw her as she fell down the dock and he didn’t know why he felt like his world stopped when he saw her gasping for air but it did. It took him his best efforts not to just dive into the lake to save her. Instead, he took her flailing hands and easily pulled her out of the waters. He wanted to keep her warm when he saw her shivering on the wooden floor but he suddenly remembered the deal. His worry was quickly converted into anger and annoyance so he managed to leave her alone, something heavy in his chest as he walked away from her.

 He hated the way she made him feel so he avoided her like a plague. Their home was big and avoiding her was really easy. It was stopping himself from going near her is the hard part. Her mother is the total opposite of her father. Her mother is a nice woman and living with the Y/L/Ns didn’t feel like a job other than her horrid father. Steve got to learn more about her through her mother. She talked about her so dearly. Steve felt his heart fall at the mention of her not leaving the mansion. It sounded like she was an animal caged in better surroundings. Steve realized why she acted so differently when he’s watching her. She seemed so… innocent. 

 Then he caught her baking cookies. It took him his best not to run towards her when he heard her hiss in pain. He watched as she tried to hide her injury from him. He didn’t know if he found it cute or annoying because she shouldn’t hide injuries from him. From anyone. If she was injured, she should get it to check as soon as possible. Then she offered him cookies. Steve swore that his heart leaped in adoration but he took the offered plate in front of him as a chance to check on her hand. He observed her fingers, internally flinching as he saw the burnt area on her index finger. “Such a clumsy little girl…” He muttered under his breath. Steve caught himself though. Why was he so worried about her? He quickly composed himself and dropped her hand. Before turning to leave. He heard her huff and he couldn’t help but to chuckle at that. He turned around to see her frowning at him only to have her eyes widened in surprise. She gave him a stubborn smile as he walked over to her, teasing her and testing her to see where her cuteness could go. Where her STUBBORNNESS could go. Did he really just say cute? 

 When he thought she had had enough, he smirked and took the plate of cookies before leaving.

 The plate of cookies that he’s currently munching on. 

 The more Steve thinks about it, the more he’s realizing that he couldn’t keep her out of his mind. It was impossible.

 The more he sees her, the more he wants to be with her. The more he sees her, the more he wants to protect her because it seems like she has a way of putting herself in danger.

 So innocent.

 So pure.

 He wanted her and he didn’t know if he could control himself anymore.

  A week has passed and things with your husband seemed to have gotten better, if one is optimistically speaking. 

 He no longer avoided you so that’s better than before. He doesn’t acknowledge you much though. He only speaks to you to correct your every move. Called you out when you were walking barefoot around the mansion, mocked you when you walked around the docks, and even demanded you to leave the kitchens alone because according to him, you don’t know how to properly use it.

 He only ever opened his mouth to speak his mind of his distaste towards you and you were starting to miss the times when he completely avoided you.

 But you ignored the insults and kept your head high up. You aren’t going to sulk. Especially not when someone’s clearly made it his goal to make you feel just that.

 That’s why you’re currently making pasta. Ignoring his demand and continuing on having adventures in the kitchen. You just finished making the sauce so now you just have to cook the pasta. You took a pot that was way bigger than your head and proceeded to fill it with water from the sink.

 You struggled to carry it over to the stove, letting out a relieved sigh once you managed to set it down. The problem though, the bottom of the pot somehow got stuck on the burner plate. You clicked your tongue in annoyance before grunting and attempting to pull on the heavy pot. It remained stuck so you exerted more effort, succeeding but managing to tilt the pot towards yourself. You let out a yelp as the cold water inside the pot spills all over you. 

 “Y/N!”

 You felt his hands before you heard his voice.

 ——

 Steve heard clanking noises from the kitchen and he just had to roll his eyes at the thought of her prancing around the kitchen. Didn’t he tell her to leave the kitchen alone? He’s just trying to stray her from the harm she could put herself in. Not that he would ever admit that out loud.

 He walked into the kitchen, just in time to see water spill over her from the boiling pot. His blood went cold as he felt his heart stopping. “Y/N!” He rushed over her knelt body, covered in water. He cautiously touched her face, being careful not to hurt her possibly burnt skin. Why can’t she just listen to him? He told her not to work in the kitchen for a reason. 

 As he touched her seemingly cold cheeks, he watched as she looked up at him with an innocent confused look. “Steve?” Her voice was so meek yet it made his ear start to ring as his heart started to beat back to life. She must’ve seen his frantic expression because her eyes widened in realization before she’s shaking her head and pointing at the fallen pot. “I haven’t boiled the water yet! See? I’m fine. I didn’t burn myself.” She had the audacity to smile cheekily at him and he didn’t know if he should be leaping in joy with her or reprimanding her for being so careless.

 Steve clicked his tongue at her, something that he must’ve picked up from her, before leaving the kitchen with a huff. Something that he’s been doing a lot whenever he’s with her.

 ��—

 After he left, you took a seat on one of the chairs, recalling what just happened a few moments ago. He thought you were stupid enough to pour boiling water all over yourself. Does he really think you’re that stupid? He looked so worried though. You smiled at the thought of him possibly caring about you. 

 You let out a short squeak when you felt something falling at the top of your head. A towel. Steve wrapped it around you until your head was the only part exposed. “Whatcha grinning on about, little girl?” His voice was stern but there was a teasing tone in it. You looked up at him as he watched you. You shook your head before furrowing your eyebrows when he bought the pot towards the sink, filling it with water.

 “What are you doing?” Your voice is small as you asked him.

 “Can’t trust you with this. You might boil yourself the next time you even try.” He clicked his tongue before effortlessly bringing the pot to the stove and lighting it up. After that he walked back towards you and sat at the chair beside you, turning himself to stare back at you.

 “I thought I made it clear when I told you not to work in the kitchens?” He mockingly tilted his head before raising one eyebrow at you. You stared back at him, not knowing what to say so you just tilted your head down like a chided kid. 

 “Uh uh uh…” You felt his long fingers under your chin as he tilted your head back to face him. “What’s the matter? Did you manage to burn your tongue as well? Hmm?” You didn’t know why but the way he was talking to you is making you feel something unfamiliar in your stomach.

 When you didn’t answer, he put the hand that was on your chin to the side of your mouth, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your eyes fluttered when he managed to poke his thumb into your mouth and pressed it down your tongue gently.

 “Seems pretty alright for me…” He mumbles. You watched as his eyes widened in surprise when you sucked on his thumb absentmindedly. You realized what you were doing and stopped immediately. “No. No, don’t stop. Do it again.” He watched you with bright eyes as you hesitantly sucked on his thumb once more, feeling your body warming up at the current situation. 

 He slowly pulls his thumb out before rubbing it around your lips and leaning his face closer to yours. You could feel your heart panicking in fright or in excitement, you weren’t sure. You saw him close his eyes before he let out a sigh. He pulls away from you then ruffles the towel on your head. “Why don’t you go ahead and put dry clothes on? I think the pasta’s ready.” He grins before walking back toward the stove to start preparing the meal.

 You stumbled to your feet, mindlessly walking towards your room with a clouded mind.

 What was that all about?

  All Steve could ever think about was her. Her beautiful lips. Her eyes that glisten with innocence. Her nose twitches whenever she’s focused on something. The way she fits in his hold. The way she reacts under his touch. 

 He couldn’t forget about the way she sucked on his thumb unknowingly and the way her eyes became hooded from his touch. It’s obvious that she had no idea what was happening and what she was feeling and that only fueled his hunger more.

 The thought of her being hurt made him furious. It made him protective. He wants to protect her at all costs because not even the ends of her hair should get hurt. No. Not on his watch.

 Steve couldn’t take her out of her mind even if he wanted to. That’s the problem. He doesn’t want her out of his mind anymore. He doesn’t want to avoid her anymore.

 Steve accepted it. 

 He knows that he wants her and he knows that she’ll be able to have him wrapped around her precious little finger if she wants to. 

 He realized how she has a tight hold over him without even knowing it and he’s accepted that fact. 

 He’s ready to do everything for the girl and she doesn’t even know it. He’s ready to give her everything he has and everything he is. 

 He’s ready to give himself completely to her. Of course, it is if she’ll have him.

  After that encounter with Steve, you finally followed his instruction and stopped trying to make various meals in the kitchen. 

 You were craving cake so you asked one of the cooks to bake you a cake. That’s why there’s a whole cute pink cake in front of you at the kitchen counter. 

 You’re currently staring at it, thinking it’s too precious to destroy and eat but after a minute of your mouth watering, you give up and run your index finger on the sides until it is covered in icing.

 You licked your finger before sucking on it and humming at the sweet taste of the icing while your eyes are closed. When there is none left on your finger, you take your index and middle finger before sliding it on the sides of the cake to gather twice as much as the previous one.

 Your eyes are closed and lips parted slightly apart, ready to suck on your fingers one more time when a hand grips your wrist. Your eyes fly open to see Steve holding your hand while he’s looking down at your face with a boyish grin. Your eyes widened for the second time when his tongue darted out of his mouth and started licking the icing off your fingers.

 He was staring at you as he continued to lick the icing and you were starting to pull away when his lips parted wider to start sucking on your fingers. You’re frozen in shock as your eyes twitched at the sight of him sucking on your fingers. 

 You feel your heart drop when he starts groaning against your fingers. The unfamiliar feeling in your stomach made itself known again and you bit your bottom lip anxiously at the strange feelings you always get whenever Steve’s with you. 

 Your eyes follow Steve’s lips as he pulls your fingers out of his mouth with a silent pop. He looks at you with a smile before furrowing his brows. “Did you bake this?”

 “N-no! I had someone to bake it for me.” You’re quick to let him know that you didn’t make the cake. He smiled again and you just realize how giddy you feel when you’re able to make him smile like that. 

 “Really? So you finally listened to me?” He chuckles when he sees you nod shyly at him. “Aren’t you a good little girl.” He cooes before looking at the cake with a smirk. “This cake is really delicious…” He leans back to stand straight and you nodded at him in agreement. “I wonder…” 

 You let out a loud squeal when he suddenly puts his hands under your arms before pulling you up and sitting you down on the counter. You look at him with a stunned expression. “Wha—“ 

 “But I bet you taste better than this cake.” You couldn’t respond because he immediately connects his lips with yours, making your eyes pop out in shock as he continues to attack your mouth. You let out a small whimper when you feel his tongue pushing past your lips and roaming around the inside of your mouth, tickling the roof of your mouth.

 You start chuckling against his lips and he stops, looking at you in confusion. “You’re tickling me…” You point at the top of your mouth and Steve’s frown turned into a grin. His hand found their ways on the top of your knees and then he’s pushing them apart. “I know a place where I can tickle you... I’m sure you’ll like it.” He pulls you closer to him so you slide against the counter. He carefully pushes your shoulders until your back is laying on the cold kitchen counter. You feel him hiking your skirt up and pulling your underwear down before he sets your feet back on the counter, knees bent, and far apart. 

 You could feel him breathing against your skin and you could feel your body running hot while the hairs on your body stand in attention. You feel something wet run against your skin and you yelp as you sit on your elbows, looking at Steve alarmingly. His face was just in front of your core and tongue is just retreating your skin. 

 “Wh-what are you doing, Steve?” You bite your lip as you watch him stand up until he’s face to face with you. “I’m trying to make you feel good, baby. Do you trust me?” He presses his lips against yours and pulls away, waiting for your answer.

 “I don’t know…” You admit, stomach dropping at the sadness that flashes over his face.

 “Then let me show you that you can trust me. Can you let me do that?” He looks at you and smiles when you nod at him. He presses his lips on you once more, pushing you against the kiss until your back is back on the counter. He pulls away, pecking you one last time before going back to press kisses in between your legs.

 He licks up your skin, hands pressing down on your hips when you begin squirming around. You feel his mouth sucking on the bud before flicking his tongue over it. He doesn’t stop until you’re whining under him, unsure if you want him to stop or to do something else.

 “What do you want, little girl?” He breathes against your core, making your legs shiver at the sensation. 

 “I don’t know…” You whine, eyes staring at him as he stands over your body. He raises his right hand, fingers fluttering in display as he gives you a questioning look. “You want me to use this on you?” You could only nod in desperation because the feeling of emptiness when he pulled away from you is becoming too much.

 “Good girl.” You hear him whisper before going back in between your legs. You feel his fingers playing with your bud instead of his tongue and it feels overwhelming when he uses his tongue to press it against your entrance. 

 “Mmmhm” You close your eyes in delight as he continues to play with you. The familiar feeling in your abdomen makes itself known once again and this time, it’s stronger. You need more.

 “P-please…” You mutter under your breath, pulling on Steve’s hair to catch his attention. He looks at you with a proud smile before asking. “What is it? You need more? Want me to put my finger inside you, is that it?” 

 ——

 Steve smiles when she nods her head eagerly. So innocent, can’t even tell him what she wants. What she needs.

 He rubs on her clit a few more times to wet his fingers before lining a finger against her slit. He looks back at her as he starts pushing the finger in, slowing down when her hand grips her arm. 

 Steve groans at the tightness of her walls against his finger and starts to slowly pump it as he watches her face contort into a pleasured frown. When he feels her loosening up, he adds another finger that earns a low moan from her. Steve stiffens for a second when he feels his pants getting tighter in the crotch area. His cock is begging him for attention but he pays no mind, focusing on the angel in front of him.

 He spreads his fingers apart inside of her as he leans down to start flicking his tongue against her clit, smirking against it when her thighs shiver against his head. He feels her breaths starting to become uneven and he knows that she’s just about to cum so he doubles his effort, sucking her clit harshly and curling his fingers inside of her.

 Her back arches off the counter and Steve hooks an arm under her to pull her up and press her against his chest. She shakes against his hold as he helps her get through her high. She slumps against his hold, head falling down the side of his neck. 

 Steve tilts his head to look at her face, eyes hooded and forehead sweating. She looks so adorable like this. “That cake gave us such a rush, huh?” He chuckles before hooking her legs around his torso and hugging her body close to his. He feels her dozing off as he carries her to her bedroom. 

 He lays you down on the bed and tucks you under your blanket before studying your face. So peaceful. So relaxed. A smile forms on your face and Steve finds himself smiling as well.

 “Goodnight, my sweet little girl.” He presses a kiss on your forehead before walking out of your room. 

  It’s currently four in the afternoon and Steve is currently sitting on a couch in the massive living room, thinking about the night he has planned for him and his little girl. 

 After that time in the kitchen, things have been great with them. It’s been a few months and he became someone he didn’t know he could be and it was all for her. He wants nothing but the best for his girl. He gives her the ‘special treatment’ or ‘reward’ whenever she asks for it. She’ll do something nice for him to receive his special kisses but Steve knew that he’ll give her anything without her working for it. He just likes the attention he gets from her when she gets a little needy.

 Steve feels his crotch stirring under his pants at the thought of eating his little girl out. He always eats her out and makes her putty with his fingers but his cock remains abandoned. 

 He didn’t think she was ready. He didn’t want to scare his girl. He’ll wait as long as he needs until his little girl’s ready for him. For the time being, he’ll make sure to keep his little girl happy and satisfied.

 Steve’s thoughts were cut off when his little girl walked in front of him with a weird look on her face, a phone held against her right ear. He sits up in attention, his body becoming alert at the way her face scrunches up in fear as she looks at him.

 “What’s wrong, little girl?” His voice is a whisper but his tone is hard. 

 She looks at him with a frown before handing him the phone. He looks at it and listens to her as she speaks.

 “Father called… Which is weird because he never calls when they’re on a trip. Let alone a business trip. He told me that the trip would be a few months and I didn’t think they would be in some kind of situation after being gone for almost seven months… They’re usually gone longer than that. But then that guy—” She points at the phone in Steve’s hand before continuing her explanation.

 “—That guy took the phone away from my father when he’s explaining something to me about telling something to you, Steve. His name is Rumlow and he’s got a very foul mouth—” He watches as her nose scrunches up, probably at the memory of the man’s words on the phone but Steve didn’t care about that. He’s worried about Rumlow talking to you. Through your father’s phone at that!

 Steve presses the phone against his ear before asking who’s on the other line.

 “Ahh, Rogers… Where’s the little brat? I thought she’s enjoying the things I’m promising her. Told her about how my cock will make her cunt cry—” Steve feels his blood boiling at the way Rumlow is talking about his little girl.

 “What are you on about, Rumlow? What are you doing with that phone?” Steve cuts Rumlow off, voice so harsh that he sees her flinching at his tone. He smiles at her before ushering her back to her room.

 “You see… Your girl is supposed to be mine. I saw her first but imagine the surprise I got when I ask her dear daddy for her hand and he tells me that she’s married to a Steve fucking Rogers.” Steve hears Rumlow’s bitter laugh before hearing her little girl’s father groan in pain, no doubt that he took a blow from Rumlow.

 “I just want a simple deal here, Rogers. I’ll text the address and I expect to have the girl and a bag filled with… I don’t know, ten million dollars? If you’re too broke then just bring the girl. I’m sure she’ll make the lack of ten million with her pretty little cunt.” Rumlows cackle was heard along with the cries of your parents. He must’ve held them as hostages. 

 “Do that and her parents stay safe. Be here at 9 pm sharp or it’s bye-bye for her lovely parents. Tik-Tok, Rogers. Tik-Tok…” Steve almost crushes the phone into pieces in his hand when Rumlow hangs up on him. Rumlow holds your parents as hostages and dares to speak about you like that. He’ll fucking kill him.

 The phone buzzes and he sees the address Rumlow sent him. They were no longer in Prague. They’re back here...

 Steve makes a move to call his best man, Bucky, when he hears sounds coming from her room. He quickly runs over, throwing her door open to see her shoving a bunch dollar bills into a huge bag while a phone is pressed against her neck and her shoulder. 

 Steve’s heart falls at the sight of tears falling down her face. She must’ve heard everything with the connecting phone lines. He sighs before walking over to his girl and steadying her by holding her shoulders in a firm grip. “Everything will be alright. I’ll call someone to fix the problem. They’ll clear the building, catch the bad guy, and then your parents will be home in no time!” Steve gives her a smile but it doesn’t work. Her face is still wet with tears as she shakes her head in disagreement.

 “No! The b-bad guy will harm my parents if he sees your men without me! I don’t w-want anything bad happening to my family, Steve. I-I don’t want that!” He pulls her against his chest as he sobs and shakes against his hold. Steve runs a comforting hand on her back before sighing in defeat. 

 “Fine. We’ll save your parents but I have to call my friends for backup. And you have to stay as far away from the fighting. I’ll have my best guy, James, be with you the whole time. You can trust him, he’s my best friend. You need to stick with him because he’ll keep you safe, got it?” He gives her a firm yet gentle look, jaw clenching when she nodded eagerly at him before continuing to fill the bag with cash. 

 He makes his calls and in no time, they’re driving towards the address Rumlow sent him.

  Steve parks the car a few miles away from the building where her parents are being held as hostages. He looks at his little girl who’s currently wearing sweatpants and his hoodie which looks pretty big on her. He smiles at the sight before letting out a shaky breath. 

 “You gotta stay here, okay? I promise that I’ll get your parents out safely. You don’t have to worry about them because I’ll protect them for you, okay? You trust me, little girl?” He watches her as she reluctantly nods her head. He sighs at that before handing her a pistol gun. “You know how to use one?” He asks, surprised to see his little girl nod. She must’ve seen his surprised look because she looks down before explaining, “I had basic shooting lessons.”  He smiles at his little girl before nodding. 

 He gets out of the car before walking around and opening the door for his girl and helping her out. He sees James walking over to them and he nods at his friend in acknowledgment before looking back at his girl. “This is Bucky. He’ll keep you safe. Stick with him, alright?” He watches her girl as she observes his friend with her adorable curious eyes.  

 “The others are already surrounding the building. Backup is also ready. Just say something and they’ll attack. Good luck out there.” He smiles at Bucky’s words before kissing his girl’s forehead.

 “Please stay safe, Steve.” His girl mutters and he feels his heart skip a beat at that moment. “I will. Anything for you, little girl.” He turns to leave, hearing his girl one last time before disappearing. 

 “That’s a nice-looking vest, Mr. Bucky.”

  Everything was going well for Steve. Rumlow’s men are really weak and easy to take down and when Rumlow realized that, he ran. He ran away like the coward he is. He ran out of the building and that was that. At least, that’s what Steve thought. 

 He was able to see her parents and he quickly untied them, her mother thanking him endlessly while her father only grumbled his thanks once. 

 He was guiding the couple out of the building, surprised to see his little girl standing a few miles away from them with Bucky. He sees her eyes brighten in relief that made all his worries disappear. 

 He was walking with her parents when he heard the cocking of a gun beside his head. 

 “Not so fast.” A raspy voice speaks beside him.

 Rumlow…

 Before Steve could even move, a bang was heard. Followed by another bang that has his ears ringing in pain. He closes his eyes to ease the aching in his head or his body. Was he shot? 

 His eyes fly open when he remembers that his girl is also out in the open and his eyes quickly darts over towards her.

 To his surprise, his girl is holding the gun he gave her earlier in his direction. 

 Steve quickly scans the couple near him for injuries when he hears someone groaning below him. He finds Rumlow laying on his back, legs bleeding while his arms are spread out. 

 He looks back at his girl, a sense of pride filling his system. His girl just did that. 

 He watches as his girl runs towards him with her arms wide open, ready to envelop him in a hug. 

 Steve grins before he hears Rumlow muttering and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. 

 “If I can’t have her… Then nobody can!” Rumlow spits before a loud bang go out.

 Steve’s eyes grow wide when he sees the bullet piercing through his hoodie and into his girl’s chest. 

 His heart stops when he sees her falling down into Bucky’s arms and onto the cold ground. 

 Her mother’s cries filled Steve’s ringing ears as well as her father’s curses as he tried to console his wife.

 Steve quickly kicks the gun from Rumlow’s hand before kicking the bastard’s face repeatedly until he’s unconscious. He releases all his anger on the bastard who shot his little girl by bending down and throwing punches down the unconscious man. He keeps punching until he sees Bucky carrying his girl towards them. 

 He pulls back from a bleeding Rumlow before running towards Bucky and taking his girl from his best friend. He brushes some stray hair away from her forehead before observing her face. 

 “Call the fucking ambulance!” He barks at nobody but Bucky follows his order, quickly fumbling with his phone and calling their mob doctor. 

 Steve was about to rip his hoodie off his girl when her eyes suddenly flew open, gasping for air. 

 Steve’s heart stops for a second, he doesn’t know if it’s from shock or relief but he’s grateful to see his little girl alive and breathing. He feels her wrap her arms around his neck, burying her face on the side of his neck as she catches her breath. He wraps his arm around her shaking body, gripping her tight and pulling her body against his like he’s afraid that she’ll slip away from his grasp.

 “Mother. Father. I’m so glad you’re okay!” He hears his girl talking to her parents who are currently behind him. He should let her go to reunite with her parents but he doesn’t. He keeps her against his body. 

 “Are you okay, dear?” Her mother asks and he feels his girl nodding against his neck. His girl finally pulls away from him before tugging on the hoodie she’s wearing and pulling it up to reveal a bulletproof vest. 

 Bucky’s laughter fills the air and everyone turns to look at him. “You little genius!” He exclaims before pointing at his little girl. “She kept bothering me about my vest and didn’t stop until I gave her one! Ah... You got yourself a keeper and a smartass, Steve!” He continues to laugh, her parents soon follow Bucky until everyone is laughing as well. 

 Everyone’s laughter is cut off by Rumlow waking up before gasping for air just like you were a few moments ago. 

 He pulls his girl against his chest, blocking her view from Bucky who gets his gun out before pointing it towards Rumlow’s head. 

 Steve covers his girl’s ears before another bang goes out. The last one for the night.

  “I’m really fine, Steve. Dr. Banner said I was fine! No scars and all, see?” You pull your hoodie up to assure him. You watch him stare at your skin, probably looking for scars before he forces your hoodie down with a frown as he bites his lip. 

 “You can’t just pull your shirt up like that. People might see.” His hushed and commanding voice makes you gulp and nod apologetically. 

 You look around as he walks the both of you towards the lake. “But there’s nobody around, Steve.” You whisper, looking down at the dirt as you walk with him. 

 You feel his warm fingers under your chin before your head is tilted up so you’re looking directly up at him. “You really are a smartass, huh?” He smirks, feeling your body warm up against his hold before throwing his arm around your shoulders to continue walking.

 Steve holds you close as the both of you walk down the dock under the darkness of the night. He stops just at the end of the dock before turning to face you. 

 You admire his face, looking so enchanting under the light of the moonlight. “You remember the first time we met?” He asks, grinning at your embarrassed reaction which is you chewing your bottom lip. He caresses your face before running his thumb across your lips, stopping your teeth’s attacks on your lips.

 “How you’re taught to shoot a gun but not how to swim will always be a mystery.” He chuckles, smiling down at you and you watch him as he does just that. He’s just so pretty to look at.

 “You really scared me tonight, little girl…” His sad tone made your eyebrows shoot up in worry. “I-I didn’t mean to, Steve! I’m so sorry.” You frown at yourself but he brushes his fingers on the wrinkles you made between your eyebrows which makes you relax just a bit.

 “I was supposed to be the one protecting you. Not the other way around.” He lets out a sigh before looking at the water. “But thank you. Thank you for doing that. And for trusting me. I know you were a little hesitant with trusting me but you still did. So thank you for that. It means a lot.” Steve looks back at you and smiles. You feel your heart fluttering at his smile but it also breaks at his words. You wanted to tell him that he’s wrong but you are cut off by a bunch of lights.

 You gasp at the lights that start to flicker all around you. You do a slow full 360, looking at the trees that are covered with fairy lights, the side of the docks are covered with lights as well, and the darkness is soon replaced by a whole bunch of lights. Your heart starts to jump when you hear slow music playing in the background and it feels like every time you do a full 360 turn, something new presents itself. 

 Everything seems so magical, so pretty and so… Something straight out of the fairytale movies that you watch. 

 You turn to face Steve again only to find him gone. You frown before looking down to see him down on one knee, a red velvet box in his hand which he holds towards you.

 You feel yourself grinning with so much joy running through your system and you can’t help but to let out a squeal when the velvet box opens to reveal a very pretty diamond ring. 

 “Little girl… Will you make me the happiest man alive by marrying me?” He asks, uncharacteristically shy which makes you giggle. You start giggling more which makes Steve lick his lips as his eyes flash his nervousness. 

 “Steve, you’re so dumb.” You mumble through giggles. 

 “Huh?” Steve slowly stands up, looking at you with sad eyes.

 “We’re already married! We both signed the papers!” You point out the obvious, stopping your giggle fit before kissing him on the lips.

 “Don’t be sad, Steve… I accept your proposal… Even though we’re already married.” You giggle once more before letting him put the ring on you.

 He guides you until the both of you are sitting on the edge of the dock, feet dangling down the water.

 “I just wanted you to have a normal yet magical experience even just for a moment,” Steve whispers after a few minutes of silence.

 “That’s kind of useless.” You automatically say.

 “What? Why?” Steve feels his heart fall at your words. Is he doing this whole thing wrong?

 “I already feel like that whenever I’m with you.” You state, looking at him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 Steve feels his heart beat an extra mile but he also feels relieved that he’s indeed doing it right. 

 You grin at the sight of Steve blushing in front of you. You never thought that the man who was so hard on you the first time you met was going to be a blushing mess in front of you right now.

 “Hey, Steve?” Your voice cuts the thin air and he looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah?”

 “You know how I saved your life earlier…” Steve smiles at your bashful expression that he finds so adorable.

 “Mhmm…” He nonchalantly hums.

 “Well… I was thinking…” You bite your lip in nervousness and embarrassment at the question you’re about to ask him.

 “What is it, little girl?” His voice is matched with a chuckle as he gives you a grin.

 “Can I have a reward for that?” You blurt out.

 Steve feels his cock stir in his pants at her words. He bites his lip before standing up and helping her up as well.

 “I’ll give you everything you want, little girl. It doesn’t have to be a reward. You ask for it, you get it, is that clear?” He gives you a questioning look before smiling when you nod eagerly at him.

 “Now, what is it that you want as a reward?” 

 ————-

He trails kisses from your forehead to your nose, nose to your cheeks, cheeks to your neck. He purposely skips your lips with a grin and starts feasting on your neck. He licks and sucks on a spot he knows too well, earning an adorable squeak from you when he teasingly bites on the skin. “S-Steve!” You gasp, hands going straight to his head, fingers sliding through his soft hair. He continues nipping on your neck until your head tilts back and a quiet moan escapes your lips.

 He pulls away to look at you and then smirks.

 “You want me to give you those special kisses for your rewards?” He cocks a brow before smiling when you nod your head eagerly at him. “Y-yes please.” 

 Steve wastes no time to pleasure you. His little girl.

 He dives for your glistening core and groans in pleasure at your taste. He uses his tongue to stimulate you through your clit, enjoying the way your body shakes under his hold.

 Steve listens to your moans and whimpers like a song and uses it as motivation to keep you a writhing mess under him. “Please, S-Stevie…” He hears you cry under him, reaching your hands towards his hands and pulling it closer to his face as he tongues your clit. 

 Steve chuckles at your needy behavior but complies, not missing the nickname leaving your lips. Anything for his little girl.

 Steve easily enters a finger into your wet core, groaning at your warmness and wetness before adding another finger. He sees your face contorting into a mix of pleasure and pain. Steve leans down to kiss your clit and flicks his tongue faster to distract you from the pain.

 “A-aah” He watches your eyes rolling back when he begins to spread his fingers inside you. Another finger enters and you’re crumbling against his fingers, walls closing around his fingers as you cum undone under him. He pulls away from you before reaching for your face and kissing you hungrily. He smiles against the kiss when he feels you return the kiss with the same hunger.

 He feels you pulling away and he lets you, frowning a little when he sees you looking at him timidly. His hand carefully reaches for your face, knuckles gliding down for cheeks smoothly. “What is it, little girl?” 

 He watches you bite your lip before looking at him with half-lidded eyes. “I w-want to give you special kisses too…” Steve freezes as he feels his cock getting harder than before. He feels your hands reaching for his member, giving him a look before gulping. “C-can you teach me? I want to make you feel good too…” 

 Steve doesn’t know which is beating harder; his cock or his heart, maybe both… Probably both. You do that to him. Only you. His little girl. 

 Steve finds himself gulping as well. “You don’t have to, litt—” 

 “I want to!” You’re quick to cut him off. Almost eager, he notices. He lets out a nervous laugh before nodding. “Okay, okay… I’ll teach you.” He doesn’t miss the way your eyes light up from his approval. He smiles at you before guiding your hands that’s currently holding his hard member.

 “Just do this gently…” He guides your hands up and down his shaft, head going crazy at the sight of your hands not being able to cover his huge cock. He bites his lip, willing himself to hold on and not cum on your hands so early.

 “C-can I kiss it now?” He looks down at you, sitting on the mattress as your innocent eyes look up at him while he stands on the ground. “Go ahead, little girl. Try it.” He encourages you, smiling when you press a quick kiss on his tip. His jaw clenches when you press another kiss, longer this time. 

 Steve’s eyes flutter when he feels your tongue dancing around his tip. You begin to lick along the shaft and then under, making Steve groan wantonly. 

 Steve lets out a frustrated huff when you quickly pull away from him. “I-I’m sorry. I was just doing what you did to me. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Your eyes are teary and Steve realized that his moans made you think that you hurt him.

 He sighs before leaning down to your face, giving you an assuring smile before kissing your nose. “You didn’t do anything wrong, little girl. You’re doing everything right. In fact, you’re doing so great that my friend down there couldn’t help but to go wild under your touch.” He points at his member before grinning at your widened eyes.

 “I’m going to guide you. There’s no reason to be afraid. If you want to stop, just tap me and we will stop. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, okay?” He waits for your response and lets out a breath of relief when you nod.

 He stands back up, putting your hands on his behind and guiding your face just in front of his cock. “Open wide, little girl.” He sings and grins when you do as told. He holds the back of your head but never pushes you, leaving you to go at your own pace.

 You push yourself forward, taking him halfway before pulling back and pushing yourself back to him. His moans of pleasure push you to do more so you do. You swirl your tongue on his tip as you bob your head, smiling at the loud moan that leaves his lips. 

 “You little tease…” He breathes out, his grip on your head getting tighter but not enough to hurt you. He feels the vibration of your laughter on his cock and he lets out another cry of pleasure.

 Feeling confident with yourself, you push yourself forward until his tip hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

 He helps you as you pull away from him, looking down at you with his flushed face. He studies your face, eyes shadowed with lust, making his heart do somersaults. He wipes the tears on your face before saying, “Breathe through your nose, okay?” He watches you nod and chuckles when you go back for his cock, taking him deep at a slow pace and staying there for a second before pulling slightly away. “That’s my good girl…” He moans as you continue to take him, teasing his tip with your tongue when he suddenly pulls you away from him.

 “Did I—” He cuts you off with a kiss, groaning against your lips and pushing you until you’re lying on your back with him on top of you. “You did great. I just want my cum somewhere else…” He catches your lips when you bite on them, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth.

 He pulls away, guiding your body until he’s kneeling between your thighs, one hand on his cock while the other is on your thigh. “Is this okay?” He asks when he places the tip of his cock on your slit.

 You gingerly nod, whimpering when he slides his cock on your sensitive clit. “P-please…” You have no idea what you’re begging for but he seems to know what he’s doing. 

 “Do you trust me, little girl?” Steve asks, looking at your face with hopeful eyes.

 “Yes, Stevie. I trust you.” Steve’s heart warms up at how fast you answered his question. He nods before sliding a few more teasing thrusts into your folds and clit before slowly sliding his tip into your slit. He stops to look at your face that’s contorted into a frown. He leans down your face to kiss your frown away and kisses your lips as well, hoping to distract you from the pain. 

 Steve pushes his cock deeper when he feels you relax under him. He pushes slowly and stops when he’s fully in, groaning when your walls hug his member tightly. “Fuck!” He hisses before looking at you. “You okay?” He asks, smiling when you nod at him, eyes closed. He kisses your lips before pulling halfway and thrusting into you once more, earning a little whimper from you.

 “How are you feeling, baby?” You try to ignore the nickname, opening your eyes and looking straight at his eyes. “G-good. Please move, Stevie.” You press your palms against his chest. He pulls halfway out before shoving himself inside you again, repeating this action until you’re moaning loudly under him and clutching his biceps for support.

 Steve feels your walls fluttering around him, alarming him that you’re close. He knows he’s close as well so he helps you reach your peak by rubbing your clit with his fingers, groaning at how your walls tighten around him.

 Steve listens to your cries of pleasure as your walls clamp down on his cock as you cum, making him cum as well and milking him. Your body shakes under him and both of you breathe heavily as you try to catch your breath. He falls to your side, his arms enveloping around you to pull you against his chest into a warm and strong embrace.  

 “It’s official. We just consummated our marriage... I’m all yours just as much as you’re all mine.” He stares at your face, watching your eyes as you fight yourself from falling asleep.

 “I fucking love you, little girl.” He lazily says, brushing your face with his fingers. You stare at him sleepily, listening to the beat of his heart.

  “The fuck is he doing?” Your father grumbles as he watches Steve prance around the kitchen.

 “He’s making our daughter breakfast. I think our daughter broke him.” Your mother snickers at the way your father looks at Steve in disbelief. 

 “You tellin’ me that he touched Y/N?!” Your father fumes, getting ready to walk up to the man in the kitchen before your mother stops him.

 “Oh, hunny. Would you stop that? They’re married. And Y/N is an adult. They both are. They can do anything they want. And I can see that Steve really loves our daughter. The way he acted after Y/N got shot. Not to mention the part where he literally saved our asses. Your ass.” Your mother berates your father who just huffs in response before leaving. Your mother chuckles before following her husband, ready to give him a piece of her mind.

  “You made cookies without me?” Steve’s heart flutters as you pout at him. “I want to make cookies too…” You mumble under your breath. You just woke up from your sleep when Steve entered the room with a plate full of cookies.

 “I didn’t want you getting into any accidents, little girl.” Steve chuckles when you take one cookie before grumpily munching on it. He watches as your eyes light up before covering it up with a frown. “Will you stop calling me little girl?”

 “Never.” He simply says. You huff and Steve couldn’t help but to chuckle at your cuteness.

 “Your cookies aren't even that good. I make better cookies.” You mumble before taking another cookie from the plate and munching on it. Steve raises an eyebrow at you before shaking his head. “I know you do, little girl. I know you do.” He smiles at you before making a move to sit beside you. 

 “No! Wait! Stay there.” You point a finger at him before fumbling around the sheets as if looking for something. 

 “You okay?” Steve asks, eyes shooting open when you jump out of the bed to stand in front of him, only the sheets covering your body. You realize this and quickly pull on the hoodie from last night before looking back at Steve with a grin.

 “Hi,” You start, earning a confused look from Steve. “Hello?” He chuckles when you look at him with so much excitement that you’re literally bouncing on your toes.

 “I want to give you something.” 

 “What is it?” Steve watches your fist as you hold it against his face before opening it, revealing a gold ring that looks to be vintage or a hundred years old.

 “Where’d that come from, little girl?” Steve whispers.

 “Can I put it on you? Will you marry me too?” You ignore his question, too excited to listen to anything. Steve laughs before nodding, watching you with adoration as you giddily put the ring on him. 

 “There! So pretty! You’re so pretty, Stevie!” You continue to admire the ring on his finger when he takes your chin with said hand, making you look up at him. 

 “Thank you, little girl.” He leans down to press a kiss on your lips before pulling away with a smile.

 “My father gave it to me.” You blurt out, making Steve’s eye widen just a bit. 

 “Your father?” He asks, not sure about what’s happening.

 “Yes. He came here earlier. Told me that you deserve the ring and that you should never make him regret anything?” Steve listens to you, you obviously don’t know what your father did but it’s enough for Steve to understand.

 “Oh… And Stevie?” He looks at you, smiling and asking you if you need something.

 “I love you too.” You grin at him.

 Steve stares at you for a moment before feeling tears sliding down his cheeks.

 He makes a quick move towards you, pulling you in a tight embrace and pampering your face with kisses.

 “I love you, little girl. Thank you for saying it back.” He mumbles against your hair before pressing a kiss on your lips once more.

 “Stop calling me little girl!” You grumble against him.

 He only chuckles at you before shaking his head. “No. You’ll always be my little girl.”

 ----

a/n: omfg if you finished all that, congratulations you just wasted a whole lot of ur time but thanks for wasting it on me 3;-)

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this