#like ik they could never plot all these stories in a coherent plot but still theg were so good

[irisbellemoon]

every once in a while i remember all the really cool dsmp storylines that never got anywhere and shrivel up inside

[scooburst]

Ima rant about the Minecraft movie cuz I’m bored

First off, I never liked the idea in the first place. I saw it was going to happen and knew immediately it wouldn’t be great. You can’t please the whole fandom. Everyone wants different things, especially with a “story less” game. (MC story mode Ik and the whole ender dragon I know but whatever besides the point)

Then the trailer comes out.

THAT PIECE OF SHIT-

I laughed through it. And not in “haha funny joke” no in “holy shit this is bad” the fucking borderlands trailer was better then this. That movie flopped so hard too.

First off, why is it live action? Animate it.

And if you INSIST on doing live action, at least fucking try. Worst green screen ever. Looked like a green screen kid on YouTube that filmed in his room wiht his brightness up at 11 pm.

Secondly, the outfits are sooo bad. I know Minecraft skins are supposed to be like a free representation or something but WHAT THE FUCK? That just looked horrible. I don’t even have a comparison. Besides didn’t they do the whole “wake up in a video game”? Who the hell wears that in real life, BE HONEST. I’m not one for outfit shaming or anything but seriously.

Adding to that, you ddint even make Steve recognizable. You had to make him SAY HES STEVE. I like Jack Black and all, but wrong choice.

Third. The plot.

They really went for the whole “wake up in a video game” trope. It’s literally jumangi. Again. I don’t even have to say more. There’s no coherent plot at all anyway! What’s the goal! What’s happening that makes this difficult?? WHATS THE HOOK? I could write a better Gacha story than that.

Fourth. The hell was that scenery. Didn’t look like Minecraft. At least try, okay?

And we aren’t discussing the sheep. That was.. bad.

Overall it just looked so unprofessional, like some teens all decided to make a Minecraft movie but worse than that.

And the obligatory apology to Minecraft story mode… I’m sorry for calling you dry and unpredictable, and your better then this. still don’t like the game tho-

I’m done. Might add to this. Idk.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[artlessictoan]

How I’d do Naruto Next Gen

okok I’ve been wanting to do something more in depth and organised than my usual ranting about how everything is terrible now, so here we go! (though lbr this is just my usual ranting but 10x longer)

for the sake of brevity ha and my own piece of mind I’m not gonna go into how unnecessarily hetro the ending was and how everyone should’ve been gay and hey not every couple absolutely had to get married and/or have kids and also nart should’ve gotten the opportunity to realise that becoming hokage wasn’t necessary to achieve his real goal of becoming someone loved and accepted by others and he deserved so much better tbh and why isn’t sak just running the whole show and why isn’t there more sand sibs, bc let’s face it none of that was ever gonna happen, so these ideas are mostly built with the premise that all the canon couples stay canon and all the kids are still around and the product of those ships and the big plot things that happened (like nart becoming hokage and the like) stay roughly the same

forewarning bc else someone’s bound to say something; if you enjoy the next gen stuff? not a problem! that’s great, people enjoying stuff is a good thing! I wish I could enjoy more stuff, bc enjoying things is far more fun than not enjoying things! everyone has a different taste though and for me – and a lot of other people – the way that the next gen has turned out has been a disappointment, this post is for those people, so we can talk about why we think it’s failed and what we would’ve like to see instead, if you don’t feel that way about it.. well just scroll on past this post and keep enjoying the things you enjoy! have an absolute blast, you’ve earned it!

under the cut bc I am apparently incapable of keeping my rambling concise, there’s 2000 words of only vaguely coherent thoughts and tangents, so maybe get yourself a cuppa and a snack before trudging through it (some of this I’ve said in other posts before but w/e)

---

first off lets change some of the kids’ personalities, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with any of them, but like….. 90% are carbon copies of one of their parents (and mostly their dads but I won’t get into that issue rn) which is ridiculous, bc personality traits aren’t genetic?? like my mum is super chill and sensible and my dad is short-tempered, but I’m an anxious mess and my bro is an anti-social control freak.. we didn’t get any of that from either of our parents

while it’s certainly true that you might be influenced by them (me and mum share a lot of interests and tastes), it’s not a hard and fast rule and I don’t find it realistic that EVERY kid takes after their parents, though I probably wouldn’t have such a problem with it if they were more a mix of both parents than just their dads, so here’s some potential alterations:

Boruto. good fucking lord, no, we did not need a clone of Naruto heading another series, if we wanted to see a rambunctious scamp who gets into trouble but loves his friends a whole lot and has a knack for giving inspirational speeches, then there’s already a whole 700 chap manga for that! one with a far more likable and interesting rambunctious scamp tbqh. so how about we make a few alterations, maybe instead of taking after Nart, Bolt takes a bit more after Hinata? a little quiet and a bit of a pushover, but someone who’ll quickly stick up for a friend and has an ease of communication that’s a bit more Nart? not shy so much as laidback and composed, maybe he isn’t all that interested in being a ninja too, like he’s quite skilled but is a pacifist and would much rather get a civilian job as idk a baker or gardener or something

Shikadai. only a few minor changes here bc I really do like the kid as he is, I’d just like to see him using Tema’s abilities too (and maybe also being just a bit more snarky and unyielding like his mum)

Inojin. I’m kinda torn on this one, bc I do like that he’s a lot like Sai (at least in the anime, he seems to have a pretty different personality from what little we’ve seen of him in the manga???), but I think it’d be pretty interesting if he was just not like either of his parents, maybe if he was very quiet and subdued, but also the mastermind behind all the kid’s pranks, has a mischievous streak that often shocks people, but his friends always love hanging out with him bc of it. also why doesn’t he have Ino’s powers? let’s give him Ino’s powers too

Sand Kids 2.0. ok so at this point we haven’t seen nearly enough of them to say much either way but I have negative faith in kishi and ike so I’ll just say that I want them all to be Gaara’s adopted kids (since it’s still unclear if it’s just Shinki or all of ‘em atm) and I want them to be exactly like this shameless plug for me and @spellfire01‘s versions of them which are the best fucking versions and I will protect my children with my life

now some changes to the original cast (this is where I’m gonna get proper bitter, prepare yourselves):

OH NARUTO MY POOR CHILD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU I’ve already talked about this but let me just reiterate in as eloquent a way as I can; Naruto would never become a neglectful father. N e v e r. not after the childhood he went through, no matter how much work he had to do as kage, don’t dare fucking try and tell me that Naruto – "It's almost unbearable, isn't it… the pain of being all alone. I know that feeling; I've been there, in that dark and lonely place, but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me. I care more about them than I do myself, and I won't let anyone hurt them… They rescued me from my loneliness" – Uzumaki would EVER neglect his kids. just fucking don’t. in this version Nart is a doting and involved dad (perhaps a little too much, to the point that his kids find him kinda exhausting and have to ask him to leave them alone sometimes) who sends his clones to work at the office while he hangs out with his family.. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t already do that

let all the girls out of their houses to do some ninja work for the love of god

poor put-upon Shino-sensei is alright.. but we’ve already had that with Iruka, I’d honestly much rather see the Cool Sensei who keeps all the kids in line without even doing much of anything and has a knack for inspiring them and always has a line of students trailing after him asking to hear more of his awesome ninja stories and everyone always trying to show off when he’s around, bc Shino is literally The Best

have Sauce and Saku be divorcees. seriously, are even the people who ship them happy with how their relationship has turned out? they barely see each other and apparently it’s been that way since chap 699, so why not just have them split up? it really wouldn’t change much, just say that, at some point after Sarada was born, they realised that they were both gay incompatible personality-wise and they were both so busy with their individual work that there wasn’t much of a relationship to lose. not only would this be good for both their characters (there’s no reason they couldn’t still be good friends) and just more sensible all-round, but it would also be a nice way to show that not every childhood romance/first love works out and that’s perfectly fine and normal and they can still live happy, full lives afterwards!

speaking of Sauce, let him spend at least a little bit of time interacting with his friends and family in Konoha, even if he’s still mostly travelling around on important missions he should at least be taking every opportunity to visit his daughter when he’s in the area, seriously, c’mon

Temari got done so dirty in that one episode.. here’re some much better words than I could ever muster but generally I’d want her to be less the ‘scary, overbearing, harsh’ mother and more the ‘strict but cool and sneaky’ mother, like she’d honestly be the type to use reverse psychology and gentle manipulation, she’d make her boy do some seemingly meaningless task that somehow makes him have an epiphany and come back to her when he’s done like “I know what I did wrong now and I’m sorry” than just shout at him and refuse to make dinner (also I just really like to hc that she’s a terrible cook so it’s Shikamaru who does all the cooking anyway)

it’d be really great to see Hina either being the new clan head or at least otherwise involved in Hyuuga clan politics, so we could actually see how she’s working to destroy that whole slavery thing they’ve got going, rather than that plotline just being dropped somewhere around the end of the chunin exam arc and never picked up again (I mean I assume that it’s all supposed to be fixed by now, but that’s not the kinda thing that should happen entirely off-screen) and so we can see her life revolving around something other than Nart and her kids, she’s remarkably capable and had so much potential but she’s been denied every opportunity to really exist as her own character by the writers

Kiba…… what the hell is going on with Kiba? where is he? what is he doing? how’s he feeling these days? is he supposed to be married to that nameless cat lady we saw for a single panel? these are things we shall never know I guess. tbh what I’d really LOVE to see would be Kiba-sensei, just imagine him and Shino both being teachers who work in completely opposite ways, Shino is the quiet, inspiring, lowkey scary one and Kiba is the gigantic fucking dork one who cheers his students on way too loud and makes the classes super fun and joins in the kids games, him and Shino have a class rivalry and Kiba is constantly roping students into joining his attempts to prank Shino (they’ve never once succeeded but oNE DAY)

Ino should be the next head of Konoha’s intelligence division, I will fight kishi on this one

why the actual fuck is oroch still happily living it up in his penthouse lab?? kill the fucker. or at the very least imprison the fucker. just say that Mitsuki was an old project of his that somehow kept developing in his absence, or was a product of research carried out by some lackeys’ years after he’s gone, anything that means I don’t have to accept that everyone has apparently forgiven him for everything and knows that he’s still experimenting on kids but just don’t care

and on that last note: Justice for Yamato 2k17

right now let’s get onto the actual plot/story for this very self-pandering au

make Sarada the main char. while I can see why they would choose to go with Boruto, honestly Salad’s more interesting a character and! A Girl!! Main Character!!!! I NEED IT!!!!!! focus on her goal to be hokage and her struggles with her parents and follow up on that ‘restoring the Uchiha’ plot thread that just.. dropped right off the map somewhere between 699 and 700, her reconciling what her clan was with what she wants to make it

get rid of that weird demon-sensing eye thing that’s going on. and the demon thing in general. and also that jarring post-apocalypse future thing they’re building up. I didn’t slog through over a decade of kishi’s bullshit just so my kids didn’t get to live long, happy lives. make the plot just slice-of-life fluff, nothing more dangerous than a bully, just some kids trying to be awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore bc peace and all that

waaay more of Chocho, Himawari and Inojin (at least enough so they all get equal billing)

show how the ninja world has grown and developed since the end of the original series (not just technologically), what do ninja do now that there aren’t any wars and international relationships are at an all-time high? have missions completely gone from being combat and intel based to more about construction and assistance? are ninja numbers actually dropping, favouring civilian jobs in these more peaceful times? how well are people �� ninja or not – adjusting to these changes? is learning ninja techniques still encouraged but in a way that’s more about culture and traditions than actual use in combat (in the same way that swordplay today is mostly practiced for performance, fun and sport, rather than out of any real-life practicality)? there are so many interesting things to explore that you don’t even need to be adding in new threats to keep the series entertaining

I’ve said this before, but I think it’d be really cool and cute if after the end of the war and with some drastic changes to the ninja world’s politics, this next gen is less about becoming ninja, than realising that they’ll never be ninja (at least not in the way that their parents were) and how they react to that. maybe they’re frustrated because they hear so many cool stories about the grand battles of the previous generation and they want to be able to do those things too damnit! so the kids are just going around trying to be super-awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore, picking fights and trying to make their boring d-rank missions seem more important and dangerous than they really are, maybe at some point they learn a bit more about how hard and traumatising that life was for their parents and why the world had to change, until they eventually decide that if the role of a ninja has to change, then together they’re gonna discover what that new role will be, what will being a ninja really mean in this new, peaceful world?

and, a final ending note: fuck ike’s sickening treatment of Sarada with regards to her sexualised presentation and the disgusting reveal that someone taught Boruto (a young child!) the sexy jutsu. Let The Kids Be Kids 2k17

[tiweirdoes-blog]

[Movie and Book Review] The Monuments Men

Disclaimer – I’m writing this 2-3 weeks after the watch and the read without either handy for reference.

Movie Review: Worth a Watch, but Not Good. Okay, at best.

Book Review: Very Interesting read that provides a unique perspective of WW2. It takes a little while for it to get interesting because of a lot of background information (that IS necessary). Much more worth the read.

–

Movie Review

The Monuments Men

Directed by George Clooney; Screenplay by George Clooney and Grant Heslov; Starring George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Hugh Bonneville, Bob Balavan, and Dimitri Leonidas.  

I watched the movie first and was wholly disappointed. After watching the trailer, I had been excited about this really cool depiction of WW2, but it just fell really flat. Perhaps my expectations were too high.

Anyways, the movie felt very very contrived. I knew it was only based on a true story and wasn’t actually a true story, AND all the names had been changed, but still. It was so very typical Clooney group movie where Clooney is the leader with a trusty sidekick who together leads a large group of people to accomplish a mission (See Ocean’s 11, 12, 13). Thus, I doubted the movie’s true merit considering it so simply slid into such a stereotypical setup. So it was cool learning about the Monuments Men, but so contrived that I could not enjoy any of the characters and their contributions to the plot. So really, I hated all the details and enjoyed the general idea. … I guess it’s safe to say I like the trailer more than anything else.

The reviews I read after watching the movie only confirmed the above. Clooney got a lot of criticism for the factual errors. So, I decided to read the book.

Book Review

The Monuments Men: Allied Heroes, Nazi Thieves and the Greatest Treasure Hunt in History

Written by Robert M. Edsel; Contributed by Bret Witter

Details. The number of details that were completely glossed over in the movie are able to thrive in the book that provide a very rich perspective on the Monuments, Fine Arts, and Archives (MFAA) section of the Allied army. A complex task, against the Naxis, with little organization, with little resources, often also against their own side of the war. To say the least, it was a very rough mission.

The MFAA seemed to be a motley group of individuals thrown together. The division had little structure to guide and help it achieve its mission. They also worked alone more often than not. Each assigned to a different part of the Allied Forces and doing their best for a huge area, without transportation, supplies for transporting art pieces, and every once in a while, respect that what they were doing was important.

I would definitely say they accomplished their mission. Though they may have failed to protect certain artifacts here and there, they were able to save so many more. Although the conniving Nazis hiding art in castles to salt mines, often to the deterioration of art, the Monuments Men were able to do so much with such few resources.

It was gratifying to hear how General Ike explicitly enabled the Monuments Men to do their job. The respect that these leaders showed for other nations’ cultures was humbling. His respect was able to spread upon so many people, and that is so important for us as a people. He was a leader that enabled other nations to respect us as a nation as well.

I won’t be able to do justice to all that is the MFAA. The book did do an excellent job considering the many different story lines that had to come together to become a coherent story. It did a much better job than the movie without a doubt.

Some random thoughts about the impression of this book on me as I was reading it –

I loved learning about WW2 from the lens of The Monuments Men. I think I gained an appreciation for not just The Monuments Men, but WW2 and retained way more information about WW2 from this book than any textbook.

I also have a much larger appreciation for art now. If I knew this information when I had gone to Europe two years back, I would probably remember more of the art. Then again, when I was reading the list of art at Autasee, it was totally incomprehensible. I take it back, I know nothing about art.

Speaking of art, I never liked the art piece, the reader. I’d do a new one of me on this ship reading like I am now, under glow of a spotlight while at a large table, people play cards and people walk by.

(2015)