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#like if you say ohh my gender is Cat i do atcually almost get it
cube-cumb3r · 2 years
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ok im ONLY writing this here to resist my great temptation to argue with people on reddit and bear in mind im not like A Guy Who "Gets" Xenogenders etc but like. i know im a guy because it feels correct to be seen as a guy and be treated as a guy and i feel most at home in like a Male social role and in a (what societay considers to be) Male body. but i cant like defineeee what maleness "is" right, despite my jokingly defining it as like pain and balls or whatever the hell i wrote in the tags as a joke right.
and since im a guy who mostly defines gender by being a social roles you inhabit, there Is no like role to fill for being nonbinary. and you could argue hey maybe thats good maybe we should do away with the roles entirely, but as someone who like defines myself by like the role i want to fill in like the world like... i Get the urge to want to like create a concrete non-ambiguous box for yourself where you can say well if youre That, then i'm This. and if that's the case i also think it makes sense for someone to want to be clear that no I am not just neither male nor female, but this other thing that is not defined by its relationship to maleness and femaleness.
and the thing is like maleness and femaleness has like over millenia been like constructed and been defined and has expectations and associations (many of which yes are constrictive and oppressive, but also many of which are just random but harmless) and you can criticize this reality but there Is a way to Be male and to Be female, there is a way to "look" male and "look" female and there is a "maleness" and "femaleness" and its arbitrary and defined by the culture youre in right. And so that begs the question then, well what Is nonbinary, and how do you Be that. and some are happy to go well its just something that is neither those other two things, or its a role you inhabit where you dont inhabit those other two roles. and thats fine, but some just like to get concrete and specific and try their darndest to like attempt to describe and communicate something that is stupidly abstract and vague and that i cant even like define for my own binary gender. and when they describe it do i like fully "get" it?, no i don't get it at all. similarly to i dont get maleness and femaleness either. yknow?
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