#like if you really think about it she has precisely 0 use in the current gotei

[uraharasandals]

Is it just me or does no one else comprehend why the fuck Mashiro was reinstated as lieutenant of the 9th? I presume this is Kensei’s doing because as Kyoraku says, lieutenants are captains’ business and they can do whatever the fuck they want, but like, why would he do this? 

We see their relationship 110 years ago in the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc. It’s clear that there’s no love lost between her and Kensei - sure, he tells her to stop exposing herself so much when she naps, but that’s human decency and his own brand of manners. Mashiro doesn’t seem to be particularly good at Division work - this much is proved by how much she slacks off 110 years ago, and even in the present (Hisagi does all the stuff that a lieutenant is supposed to do and this is clear). She’s a decent fighter, but not to the point where Soul Society actively needs her. She’s also the source of many of Kensei’s vein-bursting moments, and I’m sure many people would agree that his temper and patience would actually improve if she wasn’t there. (Kensei even questions why he took her on as lieutenant 110 years ago) So why the hell is Mashiro one of the lieutenants there? Did Kensei think Hisagi couldn’t handle the work and brought his former lieutenant to ‘help’? Because from what I’ve seen, she just makes those two’s workload increase rather than decrease. The only possible thing that she was even remotely useful for was training Hisagi in the woods, but that’s about it.

I would love to hear people’s opinions on this, actually

[babyrdie]

Some of your posts gave me the impression that you don't post about characters even though you are interested in them!! Is there a reason for that?

Okay

Because even though my account is small, Tumblr is still a very public site. It's not like I can make my account private like I can on Twitter (I think Instagram has that option too). And honestly, there are some things that are better left unsaid to avoid headaches. Sure, I have the option to just not post here if I have a problem with attention, but I like the posting system and I like running a blog, so the most I can do is avoid drawing attention to myself. That is, avoid using popular tags (e.g. tagamemnon) and, in general, avoid interacting too much. I certainly respond to people who start a conversation with me (whether it's in the comments, reblogs, asks, DMs, or by tagging me in a game post), but it's less common for me to go to someone else's post.

For example, I've already received about 4 really annoying asks from Odysseus fans (which is part of the reason why I currently don't allow anon asks). So, no matter how much I like the character, I prefer not to interact with posts about him or even post much about him. Yes, I still post, but not as often as I could. And that's because his fandom has given me a headache. In fact, when I see that an account is 100% Odysseus, I block it even if there's nothing that displeases me. Tumblr's tag blocking system is practically useless, so blocking his tag would be ineffective. The only thing I can do to avoid this headache again is to avoid as much as possible profiles that are very passionate about this character and, since there's no option to mute profiles like on Twitter, the only thing left for me to do is block them.

I don't interact much with Patrochilles posts, even though I'm part of the fandom. And that's because I simply don't fit into the "proposal" off this fandom. Not because I felt bad there, we just don't have the same interests most of the time. For example, they usually have no interest in Antilochus, Teucer, Deidamia, etc. Talking about the couple itself is nice, but I would also like to have the opportunity to talk about their other relationships. And I don't really get to do that in the fandom.

There are certain characters that I don't give much of an opinion on because there's potential for unnecessary arguments. For example, I believe that Helen chose to go with Paris, since I rarely see anything in the ancient sources that explicitly states that she was kidnapped. And no, "Aphrodite influenced" isn't really a convincing argument, many times Aphrodite and Eros were used to represent the feeling and not necessarily to state that the person has total 0 agency. Medea also only fell in love with Jason because of divine interference (Eros), so why doesn't anyone claim that she has no responsibility whatsoever for what her feelings for Jason made her do? And yes, Medea certainly did much worse than Helen, but I used an extreme example precisely to illustrate the situation better. So, for me, Helen chose to cheat on Menelaus and chose to leave her daughter behind. I'm not saying that she WANTED to hurt them, but she certainly hurt them by not thinking better. And by "thinking better" I don't even mean sleeping with someone else (Menelaus did the same thing, after all. He's really not one to talk about fidelity), I'm talking about leaving Sparta. And I don't think Paris is worse than her, I think they were both irresponsible. It doesn't make them the worst people in the world, especially when there are examples of people with worse attitudes in the Trojan War (i.e. Patroclus and Hector wanted to dishonor a corpse, Odysseus and Achilles have countless attitudes on the list, Agamemnon made the people suffer twice because of his hubris… once with Artemis in Aulis, once with Apollo in Troy), but they aren't little silly saints without any flaw. I don't think Helen is a poor thing like the rest of the people think, sorry.

But yeah, you can be sure I've had thoughts about characters I don't post about. Hell, I've even had thoughts about Philoctetes. Like, who thinks about Philoctetes? And you can't imagine how many times I think about Penthesilea and just don't post about it. Even characters that have no relation to the Trojan War, like Medea, Jason, Theseus, Antigone, Cadmus. So yeah, I think about a fair amount of characters even if I don't post about them.

I've had unbearable experiences with fandom on fic sites (deleted accounts), Amino (deleted account), and Twitter (now a private account). I don't want the same for Tumblr, so I'm in this situation. If someone wants to be my moot and wants to interact with me, I'm more than willing! But no, I don't think I really want to draw attention.

[andaniellight]

you're one of the most memorable authors that i liked back in my jujutsu kaisen phase and knowing you're currently into one piece now as a multishipper and i'm actually this 👌🏻 close to have a ship in one piece as well (possibly zolu or zosan tbh) thanks to you, do you ship anyone with anyone else in one piece? if there aren't, can i know your headcanons towards the one piece ships that you ship?

HI ! HELLO ! ! !

Oh, shit, "one of the most memorable authors"? Where did that come from! Genuinely, what a title. Either way, I'm honored tho, thank you so much :D Forever grateful that people letting me know they liked my stuff, so I hope you enjoyed your stay in this shit show of mine (assuming you must've been following me since, what, 1 year ago? 2 years ago?) !!! I truly thank you for giving all of my stories a chance back in JJK phase <3 and sorry if they ever broke your heart......

Now, for other ships in One Piece beside ZoLu and ZoSan (and please keep in mind that that means I also ship ZoLuSan ok HAHAH), I'll have to warn you first that this answer will wander every where since my thoughts are all over the place.

I really like Frobin's dynamics (Franky & Robin). I love them as much as I love Nami and Vivi's dynamics. Thanks to that particular scene where Robin turned into a literal angel growing a pair of wings to save Franky from falling, I guess? Also realized that Frobin is basically a ship of 'a character who has/grew up with siblings x a character who's an only child' something something. And, I know, as I write this down, a lot of people would think that 'oh what a cheap reason to ship characters like that', but I do have the tendencies of shipping characters in critical moments (?)

Or, if I'm allowed to summarize it, my One Piece ships are basically a bunch of "a character with a very specific and precise personal dream to achieve that they don't really think it might effect the others so greatly so long they get to experience a life of their own and feel truly alive" x "a character whose dream is to 'serve' other people because they know they're capable and are willing to go the extra miles to prove that it is such the greatest ability to have"

That's how I started shipping ZoLu in the first place anyway; in a huge critical moment that had a lifechanging impact. Luffy shielding Zoro from bullets on a whim on their first meeting with 0 hesitation not only because he could do it without dying but also he knew Zoro would suffer further in the most unfair way (because bullets hurt normal human, okay? AND ZORO WAS TIED DEFENSELESS) WHICH THEN turns into Zoro repaying that to Luffy right away but still he stayed by his side, even decided to devote his life for this silly lil guy who just saved him despite knowing Luffy must be a much stronger person than him because of the devil fruit he ate the sheer willpower Luffy has and has shown whenever he announces about this dream to be the king of the pirates (an even more insane dream than Zoro's, and Zoro understood this as well).

The same thing for Nami and Vivi. The build up of their bond in Alabasta was just [chef kiss] MWAH. Postponing each other's priorities to prioritizes the other's needs instead. Nami understood what a grave dread Vivi was feeling for her oppressed country she'd rather die than letting her to feel that even longer, shared sentiments and whatnot, but Vivi feared for Nami's life in the brink of death because of a deadly illness and it's louder and fiercer than anyone could expect. Their backstory are so similar in a way but they did what they had to because of different reasons entirely. This kind of mindset I believe was an offspring or some sort from how they grew up where they had to "betray" their loved ones, by abandoning them temporarily, for the sake of their loved ones' safety.

And for Frobin... Robin used to disregard her life so easily because she has no one else left that she cared about, but now, she has a dream to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History of the One Piece world including the Void Century, continuing the research of her mother Nico Olvia and her old mentor Clover. While Franky on the other hand has a dream to build a ship to go on countless adventures and see that ship reach "Laugh Tale", and this dream of his was based on the discipline of kindness he's built along the people he cared about and still continues to care about despite the distance and everything.

Anyways. Those are pretty much a handful of ships that I ship aside from ZoLu that have, at least, "patterns", and a couple of layers of why-s they're interesting to ship, to me. Unlike ZoSan, which, I basically ship solely based on horny reasons-

[bangtanfancamp]

Champagne Silk | KNJ

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⋅summary: Almost year ago, you became the arranged bride of the most powerful man in the city, Kim Namjoon, but this morning, with you, he’s just a man who’s head over heels for you who can’t help getting lost thinking about his future with you.

Alternatively: no matter how powerful a man Namjoon is, he is still a klutz in the kitchen. A sexy klutz though.

⋅ author’s masterlist

⋅part two of the Silk series ( read part 1 here)

⋅also the second installment of breakfast with bangtan series (masterlist here)

⋅pairing: mafia!namjoon x reader

⋅genre: mafia! au, arranged marriage! Au, smut, fluff, angst, established relationship

⋅word count: 15.5k words

⋅rating: mature

⋅warnings: a generous amount of consensual sexual activities 🙃, brief scene of oral sex, impregnation kink, a shared bath tub, multiple instances of christiana being uncomfortable with using proper technical names for genitalia and being intentionally ambiguous instead. (honestly it’s more tame and wholesome than you think but god, if these two aren’t hot for each other )

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“Damn it.” 

The sound comes rumpled from the other side of the kitchen, like someone’s trying to keep it hidden. It’s so subdued and muttered that around anyone else, it might have been successfully hidden. But not right now. And certainly not with you. Because you know the distinct, adorable huff of your husband’s regret in an instant.

“You all right over there, darling?” There’s an innocence in your voice to hide your humor.

“Promise you won’t laugh if I tell you?” 

“Oh, unfortunately I can do no such thing, my love. You’ll just have to brave the odds and tell me.” 

Your smile is benevolent, but unyielding. You politely, pleasantly even, refuse to give him another option, and he knows it. It’s that simple. Even with his back to you, he knows the jig is up. As he hunches with heavy shoulders, he sighs and mutters something too low for you to pick up at first.

“Once more for the people in the back, yeah?” You tease.

“I said, I spilled wine on everything,” he exhales. 

His voice is tinged in shades of caramel, rich with resignation, as he confesses, stepping aside so you can see the mess he’s made. 

“Oh, Joon.” 

A terribly bright fondness pulls your lips into a smile as your clumsy giant sheepishly ducks his head across the room. His once pristine white shirt, his linen pants and your white antique tablecloth are all freshly dip dyed in swirls of Pinot Grigio and rosé.

“I know. I know. You don’t have to say it.” His eyes flit down to the stack of too many wine glasses slotted between his large fingers that have spilled their bounty across every available fabric surface.

“You have no idea what I’m about to say,” you point out graciously.

Crossing the room, you tip up on your toes to press a tender kiss to the spots where his jolly dimples would show if he weren’t so flustered. 

“MmmHmm. Sure I don’t.” He squints at you while you slip one glass at a time out of his grip and reach for a cloth.

“Precisely. You shouldn’t assume, Namjoon. You know what they say.” You smirk, wetting the cloth with water you know will be too frigid for him to stand in this half asleep state he’s in, but the stains have got to go.

“And what exactly do they say?” His large palms dip to rest on his hips as he braces for your commentary.

“Simply that assumptions only make an ass out of you and me so…”

His nose scrunches in distaste, even as he starts to laugh. “What a beastly phrase. I forget how much delicacy Americans have.” 

“Oh heaps of it. More than they know what to do with, really.” You shrug as you wring out the cloth. “Positively genteel. Is that not why you chose to marry one?” You add with a wry smile.

Glancing down at the bands on your finger, you warm at the way they glisten in the bits of lazy Sunday light filtering through the window. Namjoon’s glints golden across the room as he waits for your rescue. Both still new enough to feel like a novelty. Enough to make a small light inside you beam with pride whenever you catch sight of it.

“I chose to marry the only one I could find who was quick enough to get the stains I make out before they set and sweet enough not to give me grief for it.” He arches an eyebrow down at you in challenge as you slip one hand past the deeply undone row of buttons on his shirt to pull the fabric up and away from his skin as you begin to gently blot at the wine.

“Oh no. Well, I hate to inform you of this, but unfortunately, I’m actually 0 for 2 in those qualifications. But I will sincerely try my best since you’ve placed so much trust in me.” You chuckle as you set to work. “Would it be helpful if I mention what a smart wife you have to have ixnayed buying that cabernet sauvignon you wanted so badly, especially given your current predicament?”

Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to your forehead before dipping to press his nose against your own while shaking his head. 

“No. Not in the slightest.”

“See? That’s good to know. Would have been awful if I mentioned the Merlot I put back too then. Can you imagine? Could have been so unseamly.”

He laughs, smiling against your hairline. “Well, what would have been the point of whisking my bride all the way out to a little villa in wine country and inviting guests only to not serve them red wine?”

“The point would have been you not turning into the kool-aid man whenever said wine inevitably spilled all over you. Case in point.” You look up at him through wide, fluttered lashes as you press the icy cold cloth against a particularly bold splatter on his chest. The frigid water grazes his nipple through his thin shirt and your giant of a man winces like he was wounded on the playground.

“Hey, that’s freezing.” He moves to swat your hand away. 

“Would you rather just take this off then? So I can work properly,” You smirk.

“No,” he sighs. “That would just be colder.” 

He looks so adorable right now. The lavender locks you’d once loved so well have been replaced, faded into a dusty blonde instead. His thick hair, usually coiffed so neatly, so perfectly, is currently disheveled entirely. Bits that had been gently curated to frame his face the night before are now plastered to his forehead, others shooting off at odd angles, all from falling asleep on the couch beside you once your dinner guests finally left late last night. 

He’s still in last night's now stained and rumpled clothes, still looking absolutely divine with the sleeves cuffed against his elegant forearms and his now wide open neckline thanks to the buttons undone all the way down past his rib cage.

His body is every bit a grown man, but his sleepy features- those wide eyes and pouted lips- make him look every bit the little boy you saw once in his mothers photo albums the week of the wedding. Big Namjoon still makes the same faces when he makes a mess as little Namjoon, and it makes your heart squeeze in your chest.

“Don’t be such a weenie,” you tease. 

“Careful who you tease, woman. You’re the only one in this city who forgets how many people are afraid of me.”

“This city is half a day’s drive away. There’s no one to fear you here,Joonie. Besides, your enemies have clearly never seen how quickly you’d fall in a battle against the cold or else you would have been displaced ages ago,” you tease with a twinkle in your eyes as he narrows his at you.

“I don’t think you’d like ice water on your breasts first thing in the morning either.” He huffs under his breath.

“You never know til you try,” you wink.

“Would you like to try?” His eyes rake over you salaciously despite the tenderness in his smile. 

“No, I can’t say that I do,” you chuckle, pushing a palm against his chest. “Besides, it’s hardly first thing in the morning, Joon. It’s almost noon.” You nod toward the clock.

There’s still sleep in his voice when he laughs, the sounds rich and resonant where it blooms from his chest. “Well, it’s still morning for me when we didn’t fall asleep til well after 3 because our guests don’t know when to leave.”

You smile to yourself at the memory of time spent with your friends. Well, more accurately Namjoon’s friends, i.e. the members of his crew who have become like family to both of you. Namjoon’s been on the move so much with work lately that there’s been no time to simply sit and enjoy their company. You were in raptures when he suggested they join you for dinner last night.

“It was so good to see Hoseok and Jungkookie though. Their new girlfriends seem so sweet.” 

Namjoon’s gaze seems far off somewhere as he listens to you.“They do, don’t they? JK’s seemed spunky too. She’s good for him.” 

“I think so too. He spent half the night blushing- he was so happy. It was good to see him so over the moon for once, that little romantic.”

Namjoon smiles, a soft thing nestled in the pocket of his cheek, full of fondness for the youngest of his friends. “Yeah, I’m glad he finally found someone so good for him.” 

Pulling you in, he kisses you gently, once, twice before pressing his lips to the top of your forehead, an unspoken “as good as you are for me” hidden his warm brown eyes.

“Big softie,” you whisper, reaching up to cradle his face, thumb brushing over his cheeks. He tips his face toward your palm to plant a kiss there too, his lips just brushing the inside of your wedding band as you smile.

“For you? Always.”

“For me? It was the food last night. God, That charcuterie board Jin brought was positively masterful.” The memory alone has your mouth watering. “Such a shame it was all gone so soon though.”

“Ooo, speaking of,” Namjoon slips out of your grip to rustle around in the kitchen behind you. “Not quite.” 

“What did you do?” You narrow your eyes at him as you settle into a wooden chair to start tending to the swirling stains on the tablecloth.

“Oh, the best thing. Husband of the year level best thing.”

“Husband of the year? Can't wait to see this then. Very moderate expectations, indeed.”

With his back to you, you can’t see what he’s up to, but you can certainly hear it. Especially the low grunt when his hip snags on the new island counter. This poor man was clearly made for a different life than this old world kitchen provides. You wonder which will go first, your husband or the architectural detail. You chuckle to yourself until you realize exactly what it is he’s carrying.

“Kim Namjoon, is that-?”

“A mini stolen charcuterie board? You bet it is,” he winks your way, and a storm of winged things flutter in your stomach.

“How did you even-“

“When you had everyone gathered in the backyard, and Jimin tripped over the cord for the string lights.”

“I’ll never know how such a graceful man can cause such disasters. Or how you managed to befriend the only other man on earth as poised and clumsy as you all at once,” you chuckle, stealing a fig from the corner of the board as he peels back the plastic film covering it. “Oh my god, that’s so good.”

“Mmm Hmm. I knew you thought so,” he taps you on the nose lovingly. “You always ask Jin to make these for you, and then you’re always so sad when all twelve people you invite make it vanish in half an hour.”

“I know. I know. It would go farther if there were fewer people to share it with, but Joon, the boys are like family. I haven’t seen them all together in so long. I couldn’t bear to leave anyone out.”

There’s a twinkle glinting in his eyes as he smiles down at you. He’s glad to see how soft your heart somehow remains despite the life you both lead. 

“Which is precisely why I took the liberty of stashing some of this bounty away while the guests were busy and saving it for you.” 

When he smiles at you like that, all softened edges and warm brown eyes, it’s impossible not to fall in love with him all over again. It’s not like you’ve forgotten how kind he is or how striking he can be when he smiles. It’s simply that the more you see it, the more in love you become.

Rising up in your chair, you reach across the table to tenderly cradle his cheek.

“I hate to say this, because then you’ll know you were right, but this is really is an excellent submission for husband of the year. I would like to point out, though, that you are welcome to make as many entries as you’d like before the panel comes to a consensus, you know.” 

He smiles so wide that his eyes get lost in their beautifully crinkled edges. “I’ll keep it in mind. Now, they do say that you should play toward the judge’s preferences. Would you happen to know any? To help me get that inside edge.”

“Now, now. I can’t help you cheat. You’ll have to conduct your own research.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. We have a strict moral code. They’d ruin me if I let that sort of intel slip.” You tilt your chin up in defiance despite your smirk and laughing eyes.

“Hmm. We can’t have that, can we? Shame. I really thought this was going to be my year.”

“Do you really think the only way you’d win is to cheat? Come now...it can still be your year if you play your cards right.”

Your hand drifts up to his carelessly perfect hair, fingers gliding through it and tugging a bit near his scalp. One of his favorite ways to receive affection you’ve found out this past year. His lids fall heavy before he can catch them, a small hiss catching behind his teeth that means you’ve done it right.

“Careful. You don’t know what you might be starting.” His eyes wander the edges of your lips, trace the frame of your collarbone.

“I’d never take the risk if I wasn’t ready to face the consequences.” The twist of your lips is subtle, as gentle as the seduction you’ve learned is your forte. 

Namjoon licks his lips, the lower one snagging in his teeth as his eyes drift over you. Without breaking his gaze, he takes a champagne grape from the board and lifts it to your lips. You can feel your pulse flutter and quicken beneath your skin. It always does when he eyes you like that.

The man might as well be a snake charmer for all the control you feel like you have over yourself right now as your mouth parts of its own accord for him. But just before the fruit can graze your lips, his grin widens- wicked with delight- as he decides to pop it in his own mouth instead.

His dimples are so deep as he laughs at your flustered state that you wish you could crawl inside them and hide.

“Ha Ha. Very funny, Joon. Tease the woman you claim to love. Excellent way to keep a happy wife.” 

Rolling your eyes, you push off from the table, fully intent on doing... you have no idea what, exactly. All you know is that you need to get away from this table as fast as you can before you knock the carefully preserved remnants of this charcuterie board to the floor and take him on the table.

 The blush that was rushing to your cheeks is now crashing in your ears and all you can think to do is “go,” but before you can get even half a step too far, Namjoon’s warm, impossibly large hand is already wrapping itself around your wrist and grounding you to your spot.

“All I want is a happy wife,” he laughs. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I thought I made that pretty clear from the first day.”

Slowly, he stands as his hand trails its way down to dance across your palm before lacing your fingers with his. 

“Certainly doesn’t feel like it right now,” you pout, despite the excitement thrumming in your veins. You know that look on his face now. The one that’s evil and beautiful, sincere and serpentine. The one that wants to devour you playfully. To love you even as he ruins you.

“Oh no,” he tsks. “That won’t do.” 

Suddenly, he snaps you to him, his hands fastening themselves to the dip in your waist. You gasp, the force making you brace against his smooth, exposed chest to catch yourself.

“It won’t?” Your voice comes out airy, too thin, as the morning breeze billows through the open windows. 

“No. Not at all. So I wanna know: how can I fix this, baby?” His eyes are possessed by something wicked as one hand leaves your waist to trace a thumb over your parted mouth.

“I- I”

“Shh, I made this mistake. I’ll make it right.” He arches a single brow as his tongue wets his lips, and your brain loses any grip on rational thinking.

“And h-how do you plan to do that?” It’s a whisper- too breathy, too barely coherent. His hands are so warm. His touch is like lightning and suddenly even breathing requires too much energy with the way you feel like you’ve shorted out.

“I don’t know. You tell me, baby.” His knuckle tips it’s way under your chin, tilting your face up to his as you follow in obedience.

“But… I thought… I told you. The judge can’t help.” You swallow, lashes fluttering shut as his breath ghosts over your lips.

“Then she can’t get what she wants,” he challenges.

“Fair enough. That’s fair.” Your head bobbles in assent. 

“So I’ll try this again,” his face dips down until his mouth rests just below your ear. “What do you want, baby?”

You feel lightheaded as you melt in hands, rushing out the words, “Counter. Now. Please.”

 Your expression folds in on itself in satisfaction when Namjoon grips you around the waist and plants you on the kitchen island without a moment's hesitation. You gasp, airy and quick, before his palm is fitted against the curve of your throat with just the amount of pressure he’s learned that you like.

“Good girl. Open your legs for me, baby.”

A muffled inhale later, your knees have parted where you’re sat on the island and Namjoon is fitted between them, his hips to the counter as he kisses you in earnest. 

“Oh my god,” you gasp as his tongue and open mouth work their way down your throat, painting wide open blossoms of scarlet and blush along the way. Your hands are in his hair, at his scalp, tugging and grabbing to bring him back to your kiss. His taste is tinged salty and sweet from your skin and the grapes, and your thighs wrap themselves tight around the narrow slope of him.

He’s gotten so broad since the wedding day. If you had trouble composing yourself around him then god only knows how you’ve survived the past year. His shoulders seem wider, his arms more substantial, his chest impossibly inviting as you claw at the last remaining buttons of his dress shirt. 

“Off. Off. Take this off.” You push at the sleeves that bunch around the arcs of his newly swollen biceps, taking a moment to drink in how beautiful they are as you clutch at his golden skin. 

“So eager now. What happened to my shy girl?” His voice is teasing, light, but his eyes look proud of you.

“You did things like this to her, and now she can’t get enough.” Your mouth fits itself to the beautiful stretch of bare skin beneath his ear, suckling the indescribable taste of him before traveling down his throat and across his jaw.

He laughs, something deep and melodic, before his fingers begin to glide over your collarbone and dance over your arms, featherlight, like he always does when he’s trying to rile you up.

“Should I get this out of our way then?” His fingers tug at the slim straps of your champagne blush dress. You’d worn it especially for him at last night’s party. You’d never forgotten his affinity for your skin draped in silk.

“Why? Don’t you like it?”

“Of course I do, baby. It’s perfect.”

“Then why do you want me to take it off?”

 Your voice is sticky sweet with innocence, but Namjoon knows better. He doesn’t know where you got the wherewithal to tease him right now as he holds you pressed against his growing warmth, but when your eyes flick to his, he knows you’ve made the right choice. He likes it when you challenge him. It makes it more fun when he wins.

“So I can do this,” he grins with a flash of his teeth.

Without missing a beat, he’s slipped both straps clean off your shoulders, leaving the dress to pool around your hips, and scoops one of your soft breasts gently into his mouth. Your breath comes sharp, a stuttered, inhaled moan that tastes as sweet to him as the ripened figs on the tray. Deliciously priceless. 

He still can’t get over you. He doesn’t think he ever could. He’s never reached a point where the sounds you make fail to set his world ablaze. He’d like nothing more than to make drawing them out of you every morning just like this his sole profession.

Reverently, his other hand brushes up your side to cradle your other breast beside it. God, they’re so soft. Namjoon is almost ashamed to admit how infatuated he is with your breasts.  It would be embarrassing if you weren’t equally in love with receiving all the attention he gives them.

What can he say? He’s a simple man. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to him and for him? They’re perfect. Even with all the exploration the two of you have shared this past year, he knows this part of your body has got to be his favorite- your skin there is so velvet smooth and supple, so delicately sensitive, so perfectly sized for him to devour to his heart's content.

As his tongue warms the tender skin of your nipple with affection, and his thumb steadily plays with the other, he feels the muscled grip of your thighs tighten against him. The sounds you make for him as you clutch at the edge of the granite might as well be a symphony. He loves you like this. Wild and coming undone at his touch and attention. No one in the world but you and him.

“J-joon, baby.. I-“

Looking up at you through heavy eyes, entirely impressed with himself, he smiles and flicks his tongue against you again. When the jolt makes you jump, he stands to his full height above you, and sets his hands back on your sides.

“What is it, baby? You have to tell me.”

Your brows crumple in softly as you look up at him through your lashes. If you could speak, you would, but the way he plays you like an instrument with no effort at all always seems to dispose of your grace.

“But Namjoon…”  you’re trying and failing to catch your breath as both his thumbs come to lazily torment the soft swells of your chest. 

“You know what you like. You know what you want. Just tell me.”

You’ve barely got enough breath to function as it is, let alone to form a sentence. “But baby, I can’t…”

“Then I’m afraid you can’t have it.” He tuts. “Not if you can’t ask.” 

His grin is wicked, and as much you want to drown in it, something in you wants to wipe it off his pretty face.

“Not… fair…”

He runs his tongue over his teeth as he smiles.

“Really? Because to me, what’s not fair,” he grips your hips, snatching you forward that last little inch to sit snug against his hips, “is me giving you a prize you haven’t earned.”

His hands dip to cup the curve of your backside,

his fingers digging deep into the silk and softness he finds there as he continues.

“ What’s not fair is the way you teased me in this little dress last night when you knew there would be too many people around for me to enjoy it properly…”

Dipping down, his sumptuous lips brush your ear as he whispers, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What seeing you in this dress all night did to me?”  

As yet another lightheaded gasp leaves your lips, a dark, satisfied chuckle leaves his. 

“H-how would I know?” your air comes in shaky as he has his way with you

“You know, baby girl. You always know.”

 As his fingers dip firmly into the globes of your backside, he begins gently, just barely, rocking against you. No hurry. No fuss. Just maddening, slow pressure as he grazes you. When an airy moan comes whimpering from your lips, his strong hands tense, keeping your hips too fixed to succumb to moving with him.

“But you didn’t... say anything.”

Your eyes flutter closed as his face lowers toward yours. You can feel the brush of his lips ghosting over the edges of your cheek, his nose tracing against your skin.

“Don’t act like you couldn’t tell. You know silk always does me in.”

His fingers slip across your stomach where your dress has pooled to rest. They ghost like a whisper over your hips and down your legs until they reach the hem of your skirt. He fits his hands against your skin and drags them up achingly slowly, willing his touch to memorize the feel of your skin along the way as he pushes the fabric up inch by merciless inch- all while never stopping the insatiable way his lips move warm against yours.

His touch and his kiss are languid, unhurried, as he sets you on fire. When he reaches your thighs, his palms splay across them, his thumbs dragging along the inner swell of your legs as your vision begins to blur. 

He’s taking his time. He’s teasing you and enjoying it. It’s evident in the way he slows down the higher he gets. The way his mouth begins to travel down your throat in kisses so soft, so divinely sweet, that you swear you’re growing lightheaded from the swelling rush of pleasure.

His thumbs have made their way to the folds of your hips, his hands hidden beneath the fabric as your body lights up electric at his touch. Like if it shines bright enough for him, he might bless it with all that you know he is capable of. But even though he knows you’re more than willing, your tease doesnt satiate your body or her cravings for him just yet.

Instead, he slows down further. He fits his hands on the outer edges of your hip while his kisses turn gentle, calming, resolving, as if he has no intention of following through further after riling you up like this.

“What are you— why are you stopping?” Your eyes flit between his, a subtle , whining irritation building up beside your impatience when he doesn’t move. He’s quiet at first, in no rush to answer. As his beautiful face hovers over you, he's so smug you almost want to slap him for toying with you like this. 

But that won’t get you what you want. What you need. So Instead, you take one of his hands and press it to your breast as you guide the other toward the center of you.

He plays along at first, until his fingers are about to brush the part of you that’s positively tingling for his touch, and he abruptly pulls back, resting both of his hands on the countertop on either side of you.

“Ah, ah. That’s for when you use your words, my sweet.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, and suddenly, you’ve never been more greedy or more furious. 

Snatching at his waistband, you pull his hips forward and slip your hand over the linen to hold him. His breath catches at the back of his throat, and his eyes go wide, dumbfounded at the shift in power.

“And I said, the judge can’t tell you the answers.”

You level him with a look of quiet confidence as your fingers slip between his skin and the linen to hold him where he wants you most. His brows tip into softened u’s as the coolness of your touch brushes against him.

“Husband of the year should know what I want by now. I shouldn't have to tell him.”

You grasp him, fingers running delicately up the underside of him at the same time that you lick into his mouth. You feel him dip a bit as his knees buckle, making his hands on the counter the only thing holding him up.

“Mother of god,” he mumbles, even as his hips move in compliance with your touch. “Where did you learn that?”

“From the best,” you beam. Your smile is genuine, sweet and blindingly bright. It makes him want to take a bite out of the apples of your cheek, so he does. A playful nip that has you giggling and him pressing his lips together in fondness. 

The moment is sweet, until you catch his eyes with that same saccharine smile on your face, and take your hand away. His mouth opens, about to protest, until he watches you run your tongue in a long, slow stripe up your fingers before reaching back down behind his waistband to run the wet digits over his heated skin as you grasp him.

“Oh my… fuuuuck,” he exhales, his weight dropping to press into the counter. His face dips to lean against yours as he struggles to stay lucid. This feels so good, so out of nowhere, that his body is bursting to life more rapidly that he can keep up with. 

With every movement you make, he moves with you, gasping through his open mouth with every touch as he tries to keep his composure. Leaning into your forehead, he feels his nose bumping against yours as he searches for air. He feels nearly lightheaded but god, you’re incredible. Your touch feels so good- he never wants you to stop. 

Still, he wants control back though. To make you as much of a mewling mess as you’re currently making of him. He was enjoying the game you were both playing before, but he likes the feeling of winning more. However, just when he thinks he’s got a way to get the upper hand back, you ever so lightly twist your grip as you pump him, and suddenly, he can’t tell if he’s dying, ascending or blacking out. 

It feels so good so fast that he can barely remember his own name, let alone stage a coup. Your fingertips gently play with the tip of him at the top of each swell in your fluid flourish, and suddenly he can’t think of anything else to do with all this bursting excess inside of him but to kiss you. So he does. Open mouthed. Sloppy. Full of want. It feels so incredible that you can’t help but laugh brightly into his mouth, ethereally elegant, even as you wreck him. 

As you work, he can feel the way he’s growing harder with your attention, the way his blood feels like it’s singing the longer you touch him. His hips are obeying you like they belong to you, and at this point, he’s pretty sure they do. His mouth is painting your throat, adding swathes of crimson to the blooms he made before until your neck is colored with an entire bouquet of his affection. 

When he closes his eyes, the light behind them sparkles with effervescence as he listens to the quickness of your breath as you work. The sounds, the moans, the gasps you make as you touch him mingle with sounds of early morning nature and Namjoon wonders if this was what the poets meant when they described paradise. 

Pleasure is cresting over him in warm, molten waves now, and as it builds, he realizes he was wrong.

That as much as he loves your luminous eyes, your serene smile, the softness of your breasts, that those aren’t truly his favorite part of you if he’s honest. At least not right now. Not in moments like these. Because right now, with your hand wrapped around him, wrecking him with craving, that title is held by the treasure between your thighs; and as the blood rushes away from the rest of his body and swells where your hand lies, all he can think of, all he wants, is to bury himself in the wet, velvet warmth of you and never leave.

If he doesn’t get you naked with him inside you within the next three seconds, he thinks he might die.

So he does something about it.

“Open, baby. Open your legs for me,” he demands. It’s firm, commanding, but his eyes are so full of needy want that it’s hard to say who’s really in charge right now. 

Pushing your hand away and placing it on his chest, Namjoon kicks down his linen trousers and slides up your dress as you obey. He springs out, the length of him pressing into the meat of your thigh. It has you whimpering before you can catch yourself.

“God, I knew you were a smart boy. You’d figure it out eventually,” your voice is teasing, but your face is so dizzy, so desperate for him, that he could give you the whole world if you asked.

“You ready for me, baby?” His eyes are half blown with lust, his lashes hanging heavy as he runs his fingers over your opening, before collapsing against your shoulder. “ Oh my god.”

“What is it, Joon?”

“Nothing. I just,” he chuckles once, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how wet you get for me.”

With no hesitation, he slips two fingers inside you as your belly contracts. Gasping his name, you can’t help but cling to him as light shoots through your body at the incredibly welcome feeling of his hands there.

“Nam- Namjoon, ah!” Wrapping your hands around his shoulders, you can feel your nails dig into his sturdy flesh as he begins rocking you with a motion so good, so fluid you fear you may simply float away and never touch the ground again.

“Yes, baby? What is it?” 

“You. I want you. Please.”

“You have me, baby.” His teeth are gritted in focus as he works you, his brow dipped low as he watches how easily you come undone with his attention. Warmth gushes over his fingers as he feels your walls contract in tandem with the tug of your hands in his hair. The sting is sharp and sublime as you grasp him tight with every part of you.

“Inside. Come inside. Need you. Now,” you plead. Your other hand trickles down his torso to the soft hair above his member before holding him firmly with a twist of your hand. He moans, hips canting into your delicate palm.

Namjoon doesn’t need to be told twice. Slipping his fingers out of the way, he scoops you safely to the edge of the island, one large hand stroking himself and guiding him to line up with your eager entrance.

The essence of you coats the tip of him without any effort, your body unfolding, so relaxed for him, as he easily begins to slip inside you. It’s so abundant that the slide is effortless, helping him bottom out almost immediately within you. Your head falls back in wonder as he does, your hands quickly planting against the cold counter to catch you. 

Wow. God, Namjoon’s body always has a tendency to overwhelm you, no matter how many times you get caught up in each other like this. You still can’t get over that. Honestly, it would be impossible to when he’s built like he is. 

He’s broad everywhere- that’s obvious to anyone. But here, he’s long and thick, with thighs like tree trunks powering each movement as he glides inside you. Any other time, you might have needed his help to adjust, for him to take his time to warm you up, but this morning? Your body is ready for him, and he knows it. 

It’s unfolding itself for him like a bloom to the sun, and he’s reverent enough to return its worship. You’re so wet that he can feel it trickling down his hip as he pistons into you, and he regrets not dipping down to sample a taste of it before coming inside. But now that he’s here, there’s absolutely no way he’s leaving the warmth of your walls until you're both falling over and spent.

Your ankles are crossed behind him, pulling him as close as you can get him, and his face is pressed against your neck and collarbone as both your hips work in dizzy tandem. The sensation of it sends his consciousness swirling as the pressure in his abdomen builds.

He’s convinced now that you’re a real, actual goddess. There’s no way you could make him feel this divine if you weren’t. Your ambrosia coats his thickness, spilling over him as he thrusts harder, deeper, tilting his hips to curve against that spot inside you that—

“Oh! God! Joon,” you yelp. “Yes, don’t stop.”

His grin is infectious. You can feel it against your skin as you pull him tighter, rocking in time with him as your euphoria builds. Your laugh is bright, sparkling as he licks his fingers and slips them swirling over the sensitive burst between your legs. Your breath catches, his name and profanity tumbling from your lips in equal measure.

You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. Your senses are on overload, your vision darkening around the edges as the pleasure he paints across your body escalates rapidly. Somewhere far off, you can hear his voice. His mouth is near your ear, his breath cooling your skin that’s become sticky with sweat, but you can’t understand, can’t wrap your brain around what he’s saying…

Until you realize that even fully coherent, you’d still be lost because your forever intoxicating husband has slipped back into his native tongue. You love it when this happens. With his senses so thoroughly drowning in you,  translating language just becomes too hard a thing to manage, so the harder and deeper he goes, the lower the bass in his voice becomes as he mumbles in korean against your ear.

You’ve learned enough to catch words like “beautiful” “perfect” and “God, I love you,” but the rest remain a mystery as he captures the innermost parts of your body for himself with swift, perfect strokes of his hips. The depth he’s reaching right now has you in raptures. It has your breath coming in short gasps as your breasts bounce buoyantly with each...incredible… thrust he delivers.

You won’t last much longer. You know it. And All you can think right now is how badly you want to look in his eyes when you come- which you know will happen any second now.

  Between his touch, his voice, the indescribable way he moves his hips when he’s inside you, and the crescendo you feel from the spot he’s internally caressing right now, you know you’re only moments away from dissolving into the atmosphere, yet all you want is more of him.

“Joon, baby, I’m so close. Look at me. Please,” you move one of the hands supporting you to hold his face and bring it to yours.

God, that please of yours. It flows so naturally from your lips when he has his way with you. He doesn’t know how to describe what it unleashes in him, but he knows it never fails to wreck him. “Shh, let go, baby girl. I’m right here. I got you.” 

Before he can think, he’s kissing you deeply, his tongue insatiable as he tastes you. He alternates between kissing you and pulling back to catch your eyes. The depth of affection in his gaze warms you brilliantly from the inside even as you swear you can practically feel his thrust against the underside of your lungs. 

His once seamless rhythm has become all feel and nuance. All order is long lost as he makes his last powerful dives into the depths of you. You can feel it- the tightness in his body, the firm set in his jaw, the profound depth of his voice as he praises your body in Korean. If you were to die like this, caught up in Namjoon’s impeccably loving, gracious body, you wouldn’t have a single regret.

There’s nothing more you could ask for. 

The glittering sensation pulsing through your body let’s you know it’s almost time to surrender, and you’re ready to come undone. Surely, there could be nothing more blissful than this— until Namjoon takes the hand he’s kept gripped around your waist and slips it up to your throat.

Your eyes go wide. 

He really was paying attention. Husband of the year, indeed. 

And just like that, the express trip to ecstasy nearly slams into your body. His eyes are locked on yours. He’s muttering a soft “good girl” and “that’s it, baby” as he works his powerful hips into you. He has one hand clamped firm and perfect below your jaw along your throat, and the other dancing elegantly along the bundle of nerves between your legs. He takes those fingers into his mouth to wet them, his face crumpling in a satisfied moan at the taste of you on his skin, before slipping them back where they belong. 

It’s altogether too much and you are lit up sparkling as the combined sensation of it all builds with the warmth of his body against you, within you. 

“Come for me, baby,” he says it clear and firm, his touch generous to help ease you over the edge. 

“Only if you come with me,” you breathe. Your eyes meet his as you try to find something to hold on to as the tension in you crests. 

He smiles then. All dimples and sweet eyes and perfect lips. He places a sweet kiss on your cheek beside your lips, and that’s all it takes to ruin you.

You feel your body contract around him in bliss as his name spills from your mouth. Making love to Namjoon has never felt commonplace, but there’s something about today. About him. About the sweetness of this morning in the middle of your perfect hidden home with him that makes you burst not only with pleasure, but with love. 

As your orgasm washes over you, you feel illuminated from within like the sun is glowing out of your skin as your body melts against him.

“I love you,” you whisper. “You’re so perfect.”

As your body floats back down from wherever you just astral projected from bliss, you can feel that his body is just a breath away from tipping over the edge itself. He’s pulling back, pulling out, intending to spill himself elsewhere, but in that instant, you realize you don’t want that.

Your memory flashes back to your wedding day. To the moment those hideous people decided to squawk about your child-rearing, heir-producing duty just hours after your vows, and Namjoon had cut them off immediately at the jump and whispered,” don’t pay them any mind. That happens when you’re ready. Not a second before,” soft against your ear. 

It was one of the first instances that made you realize what a good man he was. How willing he was to put your readiness, your comfort, before anyone or anything else. And now, as you take him in, as you remember how truly and deeply you love him, you realize you’re ready for there to be more.

You’ve had countless discussions with him about starting a family, and everytime, without missing a beat, his answer has always been, “whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.” 

You've come to learn over this past year that he’s wanted nothing more than to become a dad since he was a small boy.

You’ve gotten to witness how fun, gentle and gracious he is with his nephews. With Jimin’s daughter, his sweet godchild. For a year, you’ve watched him be good and kind to any child he meets, patient with you, subdued as he hides the depth of his desire to be a father behind his dimpled smiles and suave redirection when you bring it up. 

He’s been willing to wait for you. He never pushes. He never demands. And in this moment, as you study the face of the incredible man who’s welcomed you into his heart and his home, all you want is to begin the journey to give him what you know he will never ask for, even though it’s what the secret parts of his heart want the most. 

“Namjoon,” you whisper,” don’t. It’s okay. You can finish inside me.” You caress his face lovingly as his eyes go wide. 

“Really? But baby… I… what…” Your eternally eloquent man has gone slack jawed in his loss for words as his hips begin to still.

“It’s okay,” you nod. “I want you to. I want to feel you.” You kiss the dip of his dimple.

“Are you sure? i-“ he stumbles before you lovingly cut him off.

“I think it’s about time we start trying for our family, don’t you?” You whisper. Your fingers thread through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes as his face beams with light. His shoulders and chest are shaking with laughter as his eyes flit between yours and he smiles.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” His hands slip up to cradle your face, the most beautiful mixture of excitement and relief and the purest joy making his misty eyes look brilliant in the early light.

“Absolutely,” your voice is soft as you tip your nose against his. Your smile is all pearls and laughter as you reach to grab the full apples of his ass and push him into you.

He’s laughing and smiling and gasping when you do, before happily resuming the final few thrusts he would need to send himself over the edge.

“Use me, baby,” you whisper, eyes alight with the gentle seduction that always ruins him. “I want to feel you when you finish.”

Biting his lip, he swallows and nods, almost too eager, but you’re beautiful and warm and you’ve gotten so tight around him and he can’t help himself. He’s close. He’s already soo close. He’s spent nearly this whole morning trying to contain himself inside you despite the absolutely mind numbing feel of you, and here you are telling him to let go? It’s impossible that you’re real.

Pulling his face to you, he realizes you’re kissing him. Your honey sweet tongue has made a home in his mouth. Your soft breasts brush his chest with every thrust. Your hands are clutching his back and in his hair. Your heels pressed into the back of his legs to pull him close, and now he knows you want to carry his baby.

To allow your body to grow and change just to hold his seed, start his family and realize his dream of not only being a husband to you but a dad to your babies. He’s so in love with you. So maddeningly, ridiculously, stupidly, over the moon in love with you, and all at once, it’s happening.

His release is coming, strong and quick, and he can finally drown in the feeling of it happening while you surround him. His body is reeling at the burst of perfection he feels from losing himself in you like this. The cloud like swells of your thighs pressing around him might very well be the only thing holding him up.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, I love you.” His face is buried in your neck, your chest, your hair, your cheeks- everything all at once- his full lips dropping kisses on your skin like stars falling from heaven. 

When he pulls back to look at you, he can’t even put what he’s feeling into words. But it’s okay. Because you know. He can see it in your eyes.

Cradling his face, you smile up at him, eyes glossy and happy. “You ready?” 

“To have a baby with you?” His voice falters as his smile grows so wide his eyes nearly disappear. “There isn’t anything I want more.”

Pressing his forehead to yours as he hugs your waist, you both press your noses together and laugh. Overcome with something almost too sweet to simply be called happiness. The word seems too small to encompass it all.

“Maybe I’m not husband of the year yet, cause I definitely didn’t see that coming.” He chuckles.

“Oh shut up. I know you felt how you made me finish. You’re just showing off at this point.”

“I can’t have my baby girl leave anyway but satisfied with me.” He winks, and you smack his chest lightly.

“I’d be mad at you for being so smug if you weren’t actually as great as you think you are,” you scrunch your nose at him as he laughs.

“Well, if there are any areas of improvement I can work on, let me know. I hear I'm about to have a lot of time to workshop your suggestions.” Namjoon lovingly nips at your collarbone, and you tingle in bliss at the thought of how many more moments like this lie in your near future.

“Duly noted. On that note then, I feel compelled to point out that what you just did counted as an excellent submission for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” He licks his lips slowly as you nod.

“Remember- you can make as many entries as you want.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Limitless,” you assent. 

“Good to know. I’ll keep it mind,” he smirks, dipping down to lift the fullness of one of your breasts into his hand as he gently kisses the top of the swell of flesh. You sigh into his kiss. This is going to be a spectacular journey— you can already tell.

“Namjoon.”

“Hmm?” His eyes perk up, though his mouth never leaves its preoccupation with your bare chest.

“Is this… is this okay? I hope I didn’t spring this on you too soon or… I don’t know...too out of the blue? Because your comfort is important too, and I—“

You’re swiftly cut off by the sweet press of Namjoon’s delicious lips against yours. “Shh. Yes, I want this. More than anything.”

“So my timing wasn’t—“

“No. It was perfect. You’re perfect,” he kisses the tip of your nose as your lips bloom into a smile. “And if we are going to try to fill that cute belly of yours with a baby, then maybe… maybe this shouldn’t just be a weekend visit.”

Tipping your head to look at him, you feel your brows scrunch. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this has always been our getaway spot. A place to stay safe and lie low when things get jumpy in the city. A place to take you when we want to be alone. Truly be alone. But if…” he hesitates, lacing your hand with his and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “If you’re going to be carrying my baby, I want to keep you safe. I promised you that the day I met you- I’d never let anything happen to you. It’s been risky enough to have you in the city all this time as it is.”

“So...what exactly are you suggesting, love?” You run your thumb lovingly over his knuckles.

“I’m proposing if you do get pregnant, we move you out here. Permanently. Or at least somewhat long term.”

“Wait…” you pull away, eyes clouding as you do. “Alone? Without you?”

“No. No. I didn’t word that right. I’d be here as much as i can, and I’d send the security detail to stay out here whenever I have to leave so—“

“Namjoon, I don’t want to be all the way out here by myself. Surely, that’s not necessary.”

He frowns as he tries to gather his thoughts. “This is coming out wrong...You wouldn’t be fully by yourself. I’d be here as much as I can. I just... want you protected. Safe. And out of the city while you're carrying something so precious.” The backs of his knuckles graze your stomach. 

“But I don’t understand. Why—“

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you.” His voice has turned solemn, his eyes an odd shade of vulnerability when they meet yours. 

“Joon, nobody’s gonna do anything. You’ve made that city so secure-nobody could hurt me even if they tried.”

Something stormy and troubled clouds his eyes.It makes you wonder if there are things he hasn’t told you. Things he’s kept to himself to ensure that your life is as peaceful as possible. You wonder what kind of darkness he’s had to swallow for your sake. 

“But they have tried.”

It's news to you. 

“What do you mean… when?” 

“It’s happened a few times. Nothing ever got far enough to warrant bringing it up.”

“What on earth? Joon, why in the world wouldn’t you tell me that?” 

He sighs once, from some deep place in his bones. “Because i never wanted to have to see the look in your eyes that I do right now.”

Suddenly, any anger you held vanishes all at once. 

“Baby, why are you carrying something like that all by yourself?”

“So you don’t have to. I promised I’d keep you safe, and I meant it. That includes taking care of your peace of mind. Something you won’t have if you knew how many times someone’s shot off at the mouth about coming for you because they’re irate at me or how many times someone has done more than just talked and actually tried.”

It’s a sobering thought.

“Is that… is that the real reason why you never pushed for an heir?” For reasons you can’t explain, the idea makes you want to cry. Namjoon sees the shift immediately, his fingers ready to brush your tears before they even fall.

“Shhh, hey. No. I mean, it’s part of it. You know all I’ve ever wanted was to be a parent. When I married you, please know the idea of you being the mother of my children sent me over the moon, but I know this world. How people take what they want. Do what they want. I wanted better for you.” He runs his fingers soft over your cheek like you’re some spun glass artifact he needs to protect. 

“I wanted to be better for you than the men in this world were going to give you. I promised myself that I was never going to demand anything from you. That’s why I didn’t push for an heir. I meant it when I said we go at your pace. Always.”

Sniffling, you look up at him through wet lashes. 

“Joon, protecting me doesn’t mean you hide the truth from me.”

“Not even if it would hurt you? Scare you?”

“I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to marry you. It’s so kind of you to try to take these burdens so I don’t have to, but then who carries them for you? That’s my job. You have to let me do it.”

Closing his eyes, he exhales long and slow through his nose. 

“You really mean it, don’t you? You really want to know.”

“Yes,” you nod, caressing his face. He looks troubled. You’d give anything to help take some of his cares away.

“Then you should know why we came to the villa this weekend.”

“So it wasn’t just for a getaway?” You brace yourself for whatever it is you’re about to hear.

“It is, and it isn’t. I guess I have to go back a bit for this to make any sense, but my family isn’t from here. You know that. Our roots don’t go back as many generations as yours do, so when the new kid on the block started gaining power in this city faster than anyone had seen before, there were a lot of families that weren’t happy about it.

Especially not when the daughter of one of the oldest families in the city became my bride. There had already been a lot of grumbling against me before I made such a powerful ally, and there were certainly plenty after. Anything we’d stumbled on over the last few months had been mostly hearsay, but…”

“What is it, Joon?” You're worried now. You can hear the way his voice sounds choked.

“There was a deal that went wrong a few weeks back. Just a skirmish with some lower level captains that got out of control, but I thought I’d put a pin in it. Turns out the other family involved hadn’t let it go like I thought …” he stops, eyes going cold as color drains from his face.

“Baby, it’s okay. You can tell me,” you reassure. 

Closing his eyes, he licks his lips and takes a deep breath, his voice lower, raspier when he continues. “There was a hit put out on you this past week.

You’re shocked. “There— what?”

”It’s okay now. Jungkook caught intel on it soon enough that he crushed it before the people responsible could hurt you, but I've never seen anyone get this close. Y/n, I couldn't breathe when he told me. When I found out, I nearly lost my mind. I called you immediately to make sure you were safe— I couldn’t breathe til I heard your voice.”

You had no idea he’d been through that. You can’t imagine what you would have done if the roles were reversed, if you’d been seconds away from losing him. It would’ve shattered you. You’re not sure how he’s still standing.

“Once I knew you were okay, the first thing I could think was that I needed to get you out of town as fast as I possibly could. Something’s building in that city, y/n. The lower families are tired of their rank. They’re itching to get back any sort of power they can- it’s making them reckless. There’s rumors of a war building…I’d dismissed it so far. Didn’t think they were a real threat until they had the nerve to try something like this. We squashed it, but this was too close, and I’m not willing to risk you.”

Realization dawns across your face. “That’s why we left with less than an hour's notice. I’d thought you were just being romantic about a weekend getaway but ...That’s why we came to this safe house and not the one on the edge of town, isn’t it?”

His eyes fall away as he nods, “That’s why our security detail was thicker than usual.”

“But I've hardly seen anyone.”

“That’s on purpose. I didn’t want to scare you.  Didn't want to draw attention to a whole parade leaving town so I had them follow us at a distance. They’re stationed all around the property and schooled to stay out of sight.”

“What about the boys? Was it safe to have them here this weekend with their wives? Their girlfriends? Didn’t we put them in danger?” Your rounded eyes betray the sudden guilt you feel for what you thought had been such a beautiful night.

“Shh, no. Hey, they’re fine. I had them all moved out to safe houses not too far from here with a security detail on them too. They’re just a few miles from here. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about them driving out last night- they didn’t have to go all the way back to the city, just to our guest houses and then their safe houses in the morning….I’m having them all lie low for a little while. Figured they’d want their girlfriends and wives as close to their side as I want mine. Thought having them over was a good distraction for a night.”

You had no idea. Something cold runs up your spine at the thought that this weekend, this beautifully perfect day could’ve been so different. Or perhaps not even happened at all. 

Slipping your dress back into place, you cover yourself. It feels wrong to have this conversation half naked. Namjoon seems to sense it too as he pulls his pants back on. He offers to help ease you down from the counter, picking you up and placing you gently on the whitewashed floorboards, making sure you’re steady before he lets you go. 

Under any other circumstances, you’d laugh at how he has to make you sure you’re stable enough not to keel over where you stand after blessing you with an orgasm so bright it makes your soul radiate around your body. Now though, you find your hand cradling your lower belly, feeling entirely naive for thinking now was the time to bless the world with Namjoon’s child. You should say something, but the words get stuck in your throat…. you feel like a fool.

“I’m gonna make us some coffee, yeah? You want a cup?” Namjoon offers softly. When you look up, he looks so worn out all of a sudden. Like he’s somehow aged years during the course of this conversation. Like he really does need a cup of coffee, if not something stronger.

“Sure, baby. I’ll take one.”

Nodding, he presses a kiss to your forehead before he plugs in the black gooseneck kettle you’d gotten him for his birthday. The gift had been simple, thoughtful, and if he was honest, it was the best present anyone had ever given him.

He practically survives on black coffee most days. At the beginning of your marriage, he was always long gone before you rose most mornings, so in an attempt to slow him down and have more time with him, you’d gotten him a pour over set and a gooseneck kettle to replace his old instant apparatus.

He wondered if you were aware of all the additional gifts it had given him along the way....It required time to steep and brew. Time he’d never given himself before he met you. The methodology of it soothed him, provided his mornings with a small structure and routine he’d never had in a lifestyle marked by so much chaos. 

Taking the time to make his absolutely necessary coffee this way helped wake him up gently, slowed him down enough for you to have the time to slip out of bed and catch him before he was gone, to hold him while he prepared it. To remind him of the precious reason he needed to be careful while he was out that day. 

As the water boils, he turns his back to you. He feels himself melt when your arms wind around him. Softly, you press a kiss between his shoulder blades before your touch slips away as quietly as it appeared. The subtle sounds of your footsteps fading as you walk away and the gentle buzzing of the kettle are all that fill the room in the silence between you.

Namjoon sighs as he turns, his arms crossed as he leans against the counter to watch you.  Without a word, you silently procure a hearty loaf of fresh,crusty bread from the pantry and begin to slice it for breakfast. As your head tips down in concentration, he watches your untamed hair fall in your eyes. It’s beautiful the way it frames your face. It makes something squeeze in the center of his chest.

Crossing the room, he comes to stand beside you, lightly brushing your hair back into place for you with his hand. You still in your task, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes, baby?” 

“If it’s this dangerous…” your voice is barely above a whisper, “this unsafe… does that mean we shouldn’t have a baby?” When you look up at him, your eyes are starlit with tears. Your hands are trembling, and he hates to see you so sad.

“No. You’re ready, and I want a family,”���he soothes.

“But… but if there’s this much risk, how can our child ever have a normal life? Won’t we always be afraid for them all the time? Is that selfish? To make a life that has to live in this world just because we want them to?”

He brushes his fingers over the cascade of teardrops starting to fall from your eyes. “All parents have to worry about that, y/n. This world is still a scary place even outside my line of work.”

“I know. But they don’t have to worry about a hit on their child’s life or a ransom or generation’s old grudges putting their child at risk....They just have to worry about whether or not a child in their daughter’s class has a peanut allergy because little ashley will only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches right now and nothing else.”

You’re talking with your hands as Namjoon gives you a smile that’s equally warm and sad. “That’s a really specific scenario.”

“I went through a phase in first grade, okay?”

He finds your eyes until you laugh before pulling you in tight against his chest. “First of all, that’s adorable. We’ll address that again later because little y/n sounds incredibly cute. And secondly,” he sighs,” you grew up in this world- the same as me- and we both survived. Having a child is expected of us, yes, but if that’s not what you want... it doesn’t have to happen. But, if we both want one… if being a mom will make you happy, then I’m going to find a way to give you that.” There’s a heaviness about him right now. An authority resigned to accept whatever fate weighs on your heart the most as he watches your eyes fill with questions.

“But won’t we be afraid for them all the time? I feel so naive for only thinking of how much I’d like to meet them, how much I’d love them just because they’re a part of you, when I should have known better.”

“That’s not naive. That’s beautiful. No matter what they’re like, we’ll love them. Because they’re ours.”

“What if they don’t want any part of this world? They should have a choice… but can I even give them one or will their only option be serving as the new head of the Kim family one day?” Your face looks stricken. “Did you get to choose?” Your watery eyes flit up to his. 

He swallows, face stony as you survey him. “I did what I had to do so our life can look however we want it to,” he’s sighing again, worn out out by memories you may never see. “Look, you’re my wife, and I’m your husband. As far as I’m concerned, we’re the ones get to decide what’s right for us, y/n. I’ve told you that, and I meant it- that extends to our children too. Their lives don’t have to look like what anyone else wants but them. I don’t care if they want to be painters or accountants or captains in the family. They get to shape the life they want. That’s what I’ve worked so hard for.”

You feel your eyes flutter shut in relief on their own accord. Of course he’s already thought this through to this degree. When has your Namjoon ever done anything less? It soothes your mind to know he’s taken the time to lay the groundwork so you don’t have to. Still though, questions you’re ashamed didn't occur to you sooner rattle through your head and spill from your mouth.

“Do they have to spend their life in boarding school like I did? Are our only options to send them away or be scared for them every day?

“Y/n, no. We’ll find what works for our family. I want that with you- figuring that out and watching them grow. I’ll keep you both safe. However I have to. I promise you.” His thumb brushes over your ring as he holds your hand against his chest. “I promised you.”

And just like that, it hits you all over again- how much you love this man. How deeply you trust him with every fiber of your being. How you couldn’t have found a better man to love you if you’d tried. You two are it for each other- you’ve known it since the day you met him on the steps.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your knuckles,”... but, y/n?”

Your eyes flit up to meet his. “Yes, love ?”

“I meant what I said. If this is all too much, if this scares you, we can wait.” His brown eyes are so deep and sincere. You know every part of him means it, and it’s precisely because of that, that you say the words you do.

“No. I want this. All of this. With you. We’ll figure this out,” you nod, gently pulling the back of his neck down so your foreheads are touching. “I want to have a baby with you. I’m all in, if you are.”

You can feel the rush of tension that leaves his body. He wraps you in his arms, so close and secure, and something innocent comes from him that you don’t think you’ve ever heard.

“God, you know I am. Thank you.”

His voice is as robust and full as always, but his eyes… there’s something so young and soft and terrified in them. Like the weight of all he’s been carrying alone has crashed down on him all at once. “I’m so excited to have a baby with you if it happens. And it’s okay if it doesn’t. But I can’t wait to try.”

You’re nodding and crying, and you realize something that perhaps has never dawned on you before. This is the first time you’ve seen him truly this vulnerable. He’s always so strong, so composed. Too busy holding up an entire empire and caring for you to let his walls fully fall. 

But as he buries his face in your neck, you suddenly feel dampness pooling against your skin and realize he’s crying. You wonder how you got here on a morning that had been so serene and full of bliss. Bliss you now realize has come at a price.

“I was so scared I'd lost you the day we came here.” Slipping your hand into his hair, the other soothes his back as he clings to you tighter. “I'm so glad you’re okay. You’re so smart. I know you are. You don’t make reckless mistakes when you’re out— you take good care of yourself— but I was so afraid. My heart dropped when Jungkook told me what he’d heard. He couldn’t calm me down until I heard your voice on the phone.”

Stroking his hair, you recall the phone call just a few days ago. How strangled and out of breath he’d sounded. How you’d asked if he was okay, and he’d simply said he was now.

“It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay.” 

He takes a moment to collect himself, pressing you so close you may fuse together. It’s unguarded, and precious. Something you know both of you treasure as he nuzzles into your skin in that space along your neck where his face perfectly fits.

It’s as simple as that. You both stay like this for as long as you can, secure in his embrace, your breathing settling until it’s nearly in sync. It’s peaceful for you, cathartic for him. It’s a moment framed by a different kind of intimacy than the one you both shared in this very room less than an hour ago. 

He shows no sign of letting you go until the kettle begins to howl for him from across the room. When he does, his fingers trace the silk fabric along your waist as his lips kiss your forehead. He takes one more heavy breath before he squeezes you in release to tend to the coffee.

“Cream and sugar?” He asks, his voice thicker than usual.

“Always,” you answer.

And so the morning resets itself. 

The day shifts into afternoon. The sun drifting higher, brighter, casting the shadows and ridges of Namjoon’s sculpted body in almost Grecian relief as he carefully pours the water for both of you over the coffee grounds. You finish slicing the crackling bread loaf and bring it to the table to place it beside the remnants of Seokjin’s charcuterie board. 

It’s only when you catch sight of your lacy table cloth that you remember the accident that started the whole morning to begin with. You’d both gotten so preoccupied with each other that you never made it any further than cleaning his shirt and not the rest of the disaster.

Smiling to yourself, you gently slide the cloth off the table and fill the sink with cold water to soak it. Looking over at your husband, you realize wine stains still swirl over the front of Namjoon’s linen pants. There’s a very good chance those are fully set now, but just in case, you might as well try to fix them. 

So, gently, you hook a finger into his waistband and tug. “Let me have these.”

“Round two all ready? Greedy girl.” He winks, his voice soft as follows the drip of his Colombian roast.

“No, smart girl. We did a terrible job of getting you cleaned up.” You pop the p at the end of the word as you snap the elastic on his pants.

Looking a bit lost, Namjoon glances down to see the lovely pastel splashes of rosé running clean down the front of his pants. He’d been too busy to notice once you’d gotten him out of them. Blushing for no reason other than the embarrassment of you having to clean up his foibles, Namjoon dips down to remove the trousers, leaving himself looking statuesque and unreasonably gorgeous in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs in the afternoon light as he tends to the coffee.

You feel terribly immature over how quickly affected you are by the sight of him in his current predicament and carefully take the pants from him, only to turn abruptly in search of some fresh air and relief. Namjoon catches your equally flustered state, smiling to himself, but doesn’t acknowledge it out loud. This spell of quiet that’s settled over the room is too peaceful to break.

Once the coffee’s done, he brings both your cups to the broad heirloom table, and you enjoy breakfast… or, he supposes, brunch at this point...together in the stillness. Every bite you take is piled high with prosciutto and fig while Namjoon drizzles honey on his slices of bread. 

It’s peaceful, idyllic. Tranquil enough to forget the world that awaits him back in the city.

It’s funny, the duality of his life. How easy it becomes in moments like these to lean into the simplicity of breakfast with his lover and ignore the undulating danger and uncertainty awaiting him in the rest of his world. It makes him realize how much he’s come to covet exchanges like this when he gets to feel like you’re just two people in love and nothing else. 

As his eyes trace over you, he promises himself to do everything in his power to make sure your life with him is hallmarked by sweet pockets like these. As many of them as he can give you. 

At some point Namjoon pushes up to get the carafe of orange juice from the fridge, and after assigning your more capable hands the job of opening the champagne, you both polish off your brunch with the tinkling clink of your toasting mimosa glasses. 

Once your bellies are full and satiated, Namjoon looks up at you. His elbows are propped up on the table, chin contentedly resting in his hands. There’s a question hidden in the corner of his lips as his eyes glisten with mischief.

“So… what else do you have in mind for your agenda today, my bride?” He reaches across the table to grab your hand, kissing the back of your palm as you giggle and roll your eyes.

“Well if you must know... I'm thinking I might give my sister a call. See if she’d be willing to come pay me visit.” You offer, pushing one of the last grapes around the corner of the board, avoiding the way Namjoon’s eyes shine. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shrug nonchalantly. “Maybe she could come stay in one of the guest houses. Potentially. Once I move out here. Whenever that may be.” 

“So my baby won’t be alone when I’m gone?” His dimples are popping in his cheeks as his smile spreads wide. It’s a brilliant idea to bring her out here with you until Namjoon can finesse a way to be by your side 24/7. He wonders why he didn’t think of it sooner. Probably because you’re as smart as you are beautiful. 

“Neither of your babies.” You crinkle your nose as you smile back at him. 

“I like the sound of that,” he’s beaming back at you, happy and light. His eyes are misty with emotion he can’t hide, and it only makes you love him more.

“Me too.”

“So, how would you feel about getting to work as soon as possible then?” His eyebrows bounce salaciously your way, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Is that what you want?” 

“If it’s what you want. Always.” Namjoon licks his lips and a crackle of electricity shoots up your spine. The parallels to how this morning started are not lost on you. It makes something in you thrill with excitement.

“Well, I would love to take a bath. Our activity this morning was excellent, but I must say you left a bit of a sticky mess in your wake.” 

“Sorry,” Namjoon ducks his head bashfully.

“So I’m going to break in that beautiful clawfoot tub and fill it to the brim with matcha bubble bath.”

“Mmm. With the orange blossom bath salts too?”

“Always,” you wink as Namjoon bites his lip.

“God, you always smell so good when you use that. It makes your skin so soft.” The thought of your skin fragrant and bare has his blood stirring again as his eyes rake over you.

“Well you are welcome to keep me company and read to me while I soak,” you offer nonchalantly as you walk away. You can feel his eyes on your hips as you round the corner, quickly followed by the sound of his bare feet against the floorboards.

“Or I could join you in the water.”

When he responds, his voice is closer than you expected it to be. He’s caught up to you so quickly with those long legs of his.

“Or you could finish the chapter of the book you were reading to me on the way up. You left me on such a cliffhanger when your hands got distracted on the drive. I’m dying to know what happens next.”

Biting his lip, that wicked gleam is back in his eyes at the memory of the drive up and the things the two of you got up to in the privacy of the tinted, shielded back seat.

“Fair enough, but I get to join after.” His hand is forceful where it slips across your waist. You tumble into him, wanting nothing more than to let him win and start this game all over again, but you had a feeling you were winning this round, and you like to win.

“I can promise you no such thing. We’ll just have to see how the day goes,” you shrug, dismissing him completely to climb the stairs.

As much as he enjoys the view, Namjoon loves the play for dominance more: it’s cute on you. Too bad he’s still got the upper hand. He catches you on the stairwell, turning you around to face him. His hand ghosts down the front of your silk draped stomach directly to the dip between your legs.

 He places enough pressure to catch your sensitivity there, smiling something wicked at the sound of your sharp inhale. He already knows how delicate you are after you’ve already finished once until he warms your body up again. The prospect of starting this dance all over again has him stiffening with delight against your leg when he feels the familiar slip of your essence help the fabric glide beneath his touch.

“Oh baby girl, you have no idea how well this day is gonna go.” His voice has dipped to an octave reserved only for the devil as he smiles at you and lifts you off the stairs and into his arms.

You squeal at the suddenness of it, wrapping your arms securely around his neck so you don’t fall. He just chuckles, something throaty and dark, as he carries you up the stairs and down the hall to the sunlit bathroom. 

Setting you on the counter, he turns to start the bath- scooping in bath salts, pouring your bubbles, raising the blinds so the room is flooded with light. He doesn’t want to miss a single look on your beautiful face when he has his way with you for a second time today.

Not once has it occurred to you to move from the spot where he put you. Instead, you sit perfectly still on the bathroom counter, feeling your nails dig into your palms, your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you watch him. Your pulse is already thrumming with anticipation all over again. 

When he turns back to you, you can see clear evidence of his arousal reshaping itself beneath his black briefs, and suddenly, despite your meal, there’s something else entirely that you want in your mouth. He catches the hungry way your eyes follow him as he walks back to you.

“Can I help you, baby?” His laugh is warm, even if his eyes are sinister. It’s all you can do just to nod your head and slip your fingers forward to tug at his waistband. When it begins to fall, you slip down to the floor, catching him off guard entirely. Not in a million years did Namjoon didn't plan on this course of events, but he certainly isn't unhappy about it. 

Namjoon leans back against the counter in the spot you’d just been sitting in as your hands grasp onto the muscular ridges of his toned legs. You set to work kissing his golden skin on his thighs slowly, indulgently, enjoying yourself as you go. 

You’ve always been weak in the knees for his absurdly gorgeous legs. They’ve only gotten more toned in the last year just like the rest of him, and between his dimples, his arms, his chest, and his legs, it’s hard to know where to begin. Or it would be if there wasn’t something hard and beautiful staring you in the face.

Namjoon is in heaven watching this unfold from above. When you slip him into your mouth, he feels all his rational thought go dark. He’s helpless to do anything but cave in. God, the two of you are like rabbits, but honestly, how can you not be when you make him feel like this? He begins to lose himself in the soft rhythm you create, something lazy and hypnotic, that makes him feel weightless.

He can barely hold himself, but every second is worth it. All he can do is luxuriate in the way you take your time as you bless him. At least, that’s how he always thinks of it because it’s truly nothing short of divine. 

He can’t tell if it’s been a few minutes or an eternity when all of a sudden, you’re abruptly letting him slip from your mouth with a pop and a sultry smile. The cool air rushing against him nearly startles him in the wake of the warmth he’d been cocooned in while your tongue did its incredible work. Because just as quickly as you started, you’re gone. 

He realizes then that the floor is wet. Apparently, You’d both gotten so lost in each other that the water in the tub had spilled over its edges and he hadn’t even noticed. Also, at some point during all this, you must have slipped out of your dress, because you’re lowering yourself into the water now as bare as you were on your wedding night.

Namjoon swallows. His body is ramping with endorphins, and he’s so worked up it nearly hurts. As he makes his way to the tub, you stop him with a dainty hand against his lower stomach.

“Ah, ah. I asked you to read to me.” 

Your eyes are coquettishly round as you bat them up at him. He’s tempted to scoff.

“Are you serious right now? Aren’t we in the middle of something?” His face is serious, focused as he eyes your breasts floating in the water amidst the matcha- scented bubbles.

You push back against his stomach again. “Yes, we were… in the middle of that last chapter. Book. Please.”

There it is again. The “please” he’s always been so enamored by. The “please” that’s usually the product of your need for him. The one he’s so infatuated with that he’d do anything to satisfy it. The one that, up until now, he’d thought you were unaware of, yet here you are using it against him.

That’s when he knows he’s trained you too well. There’s pride sparkling in your eyes as you look up at him, and he can’t believe it. Running a hand down his face, he shakes his head at you. What has he gotten himself into with you?

“ If that’s the way you want to play it, fine,” he squints at you with playful derision. “But I’m reading to you in the tub with you when I come back.”

“Oh please do,” you coo, batting your lashes at him.

Oh, you’re good. 

Namjoon can’t help but laugh at himself as he walks to the bedroom to collect the book. When he met you a year ago- the blushing, soft spoken girl who was too nervous to meet his eyes- he definitely never would have thought that a year later you’d be sending him down the hallway fully naked and half hard to fetch your literature for you while you float in a bath. He wonders when he got so wrapped around your finger like this, but if he’s honest, he doesn’t mind.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

 Being with you is the best his life has ever been. He’ll forever be grateful, that against all odds, you agreed to marry a man who was nearly a perfect stranger and create a life with him.

As he walks back to the bathroom, Namjoon catches a glimpse of your rosy smile flashing his way, peeking at him beyond the wall of bubbles. It fills his chest with something buoyant and light as he makes his way back to you.

There’s absolutely nowhere he’d rather be.

As he sinks down in the water behind you, more displaces, splashing out across the white wood beams and dousing your hair in the process. He apologizes profusely but instead of getting mad, you simply slip the rest of the way under the water to finish the job. When you resurface, you’re laughing so happily that your smile is the brightest thing in the room, putting even the afternoon sunlight to shame.

He pulls you to him, affection for you glowing warmly in his chest as you settle between his legs and look up at him. He kisses your forehead, his heart filled with contentment, before reaching forward to dry his hands on the closest available towel and thumbing through the book until he finds the page he marked.

The two of you stay that way until the chapter is finished and the book is closed. Until the bubbles all dissolve and the water’s gone cold. Even then, once the water is drained, you still stay wrapped in a tangle of Namjoon’s long limbs as you twist to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.

Eventually he straightens out his legs to allow you to climb into his lap so he can find his way home again and slip inside you. Your bodies are swathed in the golden light illuminating the room as the two of you go effortlessly slow and unhurried, taking your time . 

Namjoon sinks into you, lost in the beauty of you and your connection. 

This time, your session together is marked in emotion and security. 

He knows how much you want to start a family with him, and you know how special it was for him to let his walls down, to let you know how scared he was to lose you. Both of you are in awe of not only how attracted you are to each other, but also of the caliber of human you’re currently sharing your bodies with, of how transcendent love making can feel when your hearts and hopes are as interwoven in the act as they now are with all your cards on the table.

When Namjoon finishes this time, it’s in sync with you. It’s the first time that happened for the two of you in tandem. As your eyes search his, you're both aware that this shared state of bliss is nothing short of miraculous. As story-worthy as this act has always been between the two of, this time feels different. Markedly so.

Perhaps, it’s because you’ve both dropped your guards enough to fully let the other in, in a way you hadn’t uncovered before. If the crashing of his heartbeat has anything to say about it, Namjoon would probably guess that you've both sunken so deep into each other that it was impossible for the crescendo of your orgasms  not  to crest all at once for the both of you.

Once you’ve gathered yourself enough to speak, you watch Namjoon with dazed eyes, in awe that someone as incredible as him even exists, let alone that you get to call him yours. As he slips out of you, the warmth of his seed flows out between your thighs, and some ridiculous part of you can’t help but smile.

Namjoon catches it too, and leans forward to kiss you. 

“You’re gonna be a great mom, you know that?”

Your eyes flash to meet his. Your body is spent, your emotions are big and at this point, your heart feels so filled to the brim with affection for him that you fear it won’t fit in your body anymore.

“They’re gonna be the luckiest kids in the world to have you for a dad,” you whisper with shining eyes as you touch his chest.

He dips his head, smiling so exorbitantly wide that it consumes his whole face, and all you can think is that you can’t wait to see that dimpled grin shining back at you from the face of a little boy or little girl down the road.

“By the way,” you begin as his gaze perks back up to meet yours. “You should know that we’ve tallied the votes for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” His brows lift attentively. “Should I pack it up? Is it time to let the dream go? Surely it’s not going to a rookie this year.”

“You’d be surprised,” you tip your head. Taking his hands you place them so they’re cradling your chest. “On behalf of the board and the esteemed academy, it is my honor to present the award of husband of the year to you, Kim Namjoon.”

As he throws his head back, he bursts into a bright fit of laughter and mock cheering like you’re both surrounded by a make believe crowd. 

“Oh my goodness,” he squeezes your breasts in his palm like the globes are irreplaceable awards. “I would just like to thank all the people around the world who supported me and believed me, who shined the light of their support on me even on days when this seemed bleak. We couldn’t have made it here without you guys. This award belongs to all of you.”

He waves to the imaginary audience he’s created before pressing your breasts together and happily burying his smiling face between them. He mumbles something you can’t understand that gets lost in the downy softness of your chest as you laugh at him.

“What are you even saying down there?”

“I’m thanking the people who got me here.” He eyes you soberly like that should be obvious before breaking character and cackling at how ridiculous this is. “I can’t believe we really kept this joke going all day.”

“I can’t believe I got in the tub to clean up the mess you left earlier only to now, once again, be sticky with dried up mess.” You look ruefully between your legs.

“Hey, hey, that mess may very well become your child.” He tuts as you grin and narrow your eyes at him. 

“I don’t think that’s how this works.”

“Semantics,” he shrugs, kissing your nose. You can’t help your eye roll that follows. “Hey,” he breathes, eyes suddenly serious.

“Yes, love?” 

“Please know, whatever happens, I’ll always love you, and I’ll always take care of you. Both of you, if we’re so lucky.” The tips of his fingers rest against your lower belly, and yep. You were right. Your heart bursts clean out of your chest. You can feel the way your eyes glisten, happiness spilling from them as you get lost in Namjoon’s smile.

“I know you will, Joon. I know you will.”

-fin.

[dex-xe]

BBC Ghosts x Eurovision

No one asked for this (and I’ve already seen a few people discussing this but haven’t seen anyone go into much detail) but here are some headcanons about the ghosts watching Eurovision 2021!! Eurovision has been one of my special interests since I was a little kid so combining it with my current special interest just seems right!!

(Also pls comment your own headcanons or even better send them to my inbox AND also send new headcanon topics for us to chat about cause I’ve missed doing that!!)

- Firstly it’s definitely Mike’s doing,, Alison jokes it’s a bit tacky and kinda cringe and Mike is *deeply* offended insisting the tack is what makes it fun.

- Alison also really enjoys it but also enjoys teasing Mike about his affinity

- Alison shows the ghosts a few YouTube clips of old years

- Kitty, Mary, and Humphrey are all well up for watching straight away,, also Pat but we’ll talk about him in a minute.

- Robin doesn’t really get the point (countries are a stupid idea according to him so having a country based competition where people actually get serious about it is just daft).

- Thomas and Fanny both hate the clips they’re shown and call it the “lowest form of entertainment” they’ve ever seen.

- The Captain is also above it... or so he says but he finds his foot tapping along to Emmilie De Forest and is *horrified* at himself

- Julian is straight away racist,, a comment here about EU bureaucracy, another snipe there about Russia. Alison shuts his complaining down very quickly and tells him he can’t say anything he wouldn’t be happy someone saying about the UK or else his phone privileges will be taken away.

- Pat is the only ghost who has seen Eurovision before (Julian has always refused on principle).

- He used to watch it with his family and put on a proper spread for everyone (cause we all know Pat was the family cook). I’m talking mini sausage rolls, tiny sandwiches, a cheese and pineapple hedgehog (totally not what my family does for Eurovision every year... hmmm) and then also a trifle cause it’s the most English pudding ever and you gotta support the home side.

- (I’m hungry,, can you tell??)

- Once Alison has explained to them how the show works, most of them agree to watch - Thomas once he learns of the beautiful women competing and Fanny the same with the men.

- The Captain however begins taking it very seriously once he starts to realise the tactical elements of it,, while he likes the performances, he spends the entire afternoon rewatching previous years scoring segments making mental notes of what gets support and who votes for who.

- The evening comes round and everyone gathers to watch in the TV room.

- The second the flag parade starts everyone is engrossed - even Fanny can marvel at the spectacle of it.

- (I’m not gonna talk about every performance cause Jeez that’s long but here are what I think everyone’s favourites would be.

- Robin really loves Finland and Italy,, anything loud and rocky he’s straight up off the floor and jumping along (same Robin, same) but he falls completely silent and watches in awe at the Spanish entry because of the giant moon (he then also asks Alison to buy a huge moon for the living room - she’s says she’ll think about it).

- Kitty is fully rooting for Malta - Lizzo girlboss vibes is what Kitty lives for. It’s also helped that Alison expressed quite an interest for that one as well.

- Thomas is expecting to like the pretty girls but absolutely falls for Switzerland straight away. Curly haired, blouse-wearing emotional guy with incredibly dramatic dancing is just 😍😍 for him (same Thomas,, can’t decide if he’s very attractive or if it’s gender envy or what??).

- Julian supports the UK... he thinks the song is shit but cannot bring himself to compliment anyone else.

- Pat is an Iceland kind of guy (ily dadi,, you were robbed #eurovision2020winners) and he fully finds himself trying to dance along, smiling all the way through their performance. He likes the weirder ones,, the ones were everyone is clearly just having a blast.

- Humphrey likes the emotional ones,, Bulgaria is a favourite. Righttttt up until France - he picked up a little French from his wife, enough to figure out what Barbara’s talking about and is just in tears by the end.

- Mary actually finds herself enjoying the more folky, traditionally European ones. This comes back to my Morris/folk dancing Mary so I feel like she’d appreciate like Ukraine and Russia - also for the like strong woman aesthetic.

- Fanny is abhorred by the outfits and music but does join Julian in his reluctant support of the UK, she instead prefers to mutter her abuses of the skimpy outfits to the Captain.

- The Captain is also drawn in by the emotional ones like Humphrey, specifically France again. However, a shaggy and shirtless Damiano David jumping about the place in eyeliner and tight trousers awakens something in him he didn’t know was there. He’s horrified by the group and the loudness and the outfits and everything but is also very much intrigued in a way that disturbs him.

- Mike also likes Italy quite a bit cause he’s an Arctic Monkeys/Killers kinda guy (he is,, don’t @ me cause me tooooo Mike) and Alison tends to agree with him but also, like I said, agrees with Kitty on the girl power ones.

- Once the scoring starts, the ghosts start getting noisier and talking amongst themselves about the acts and who they would vote for (they’re not allowed to vote cause Alison refuses to pay for her dead housemates to get a vote each).

- The Captain edges closer to the TV as the others talk over his beloved scoring system, completed overshadowing the research the Captain has done.

- It ends with the Captain sat cross legged in front of the TV with Humphrey in his lap explaining precisely what was happening to Humphrey.

- When it gets towards the end everyone hushes up and they all watch as Italy win. Most of them celebrate.

- Fanny is greatly disturbed by the winners and laments the state of music these days. The Captain vocally agrees but also can’t draw his eyes from the screen.

- Julian has some very choice words for the public for giving the UK a big fat 0.

- Kitty says she’s just glad that everyone had a good time and enjoyed their performances. She also wishes that she could go to the show (don’t we all).

But yeah that’s my collection of headcanons for Eurovision,, once again proving I am a massive nerd who spends too much time putting together little stories.

Anyway,, if you have any more Eurovision headcanons feel free to comment them or send them to my inbox so I can reply and add to them. Similarly, if you have any other shows/music/events/literally anything that you think I should make ghosts headcanons for or that you have hcs for then send them over to my inbox as well!! Love yall stay safe, drink some water if you’ve managed to read this far :)

[jd-arts319]

Transformers oc Renegade

Designation: Renegade/Nirenia

(Others):Chromalight/Ultraviolet(Marine),Switchblade

(As a Cyber ninja):Cybeswift,Switchblade Former name: Artemis Enigma Nickname:Renny,Switchy,Switcher Age: 20(past)

        26(future) Gender: (Mech, Femme)Femme Status: (Single, Taken)

             Single(past)(before orion(optimus)asked her out)

             Taken(future)

Appearance:

Current

(former)

Primary:Teal

Secondary:Black

Tertiary:Grey

Accents:Whites

Color of Optics:Turquoise

(Others):she has teal & white lumiscient hair that is 2-tone hair,with one white streak on the leftside of her hair

She sports a well endowed & athletic, voluptuous figure with some busty parts,she also has a angelic face(she felt awkward as she remembers only being busty,not voluptuous nor athletic,& she also remembers she is plainly beautiful not exotic type).

Her holoform

Size: 7ft Alt Mode:triple changer

-sports car(Corvette stingray)

-jet(windblade & slipstream VTOL alt mode) Speed Limits: - at altitude:Mach 2.35(2,500 km/h,1,550 mph)

-at sea level:1,400 km/h,872 mph Weapon(s): - multi-changing staff(an ancient relic of unknown origins,but believe to be forge by solus prime) -Energon fan(special),scythe,daggers

As Cyberninja

-enegron fan

-hidden blades & weapons

Fighting style:-Panzer kunst,Krav Maga,aikido,Brazilian jiu Jitsu,jeet kune do

Universe: (G1, Animated, Prime, Beast wars, Beast Machines, Armada, Energon, Cybertron, Bayverse,RID,Cyberverse)

-All of them

-Main:Transformers Animated

Abilities:

-she use Aura(Mana) as her basic power,her minors but common power are telepathy,telekinesis,teleportation/spatial,divine prediction & recognition,however their is one uncanny power that she used,but is came from the spectral meter pendant given by vector prime,she recognize it as sci twi’s pendant from mlp eg friendship games.

Faction: (Autobot, Deceptcion, Neutral, Own creation)

-Neutral(but is part of N.E.X.U.S team,she can either stay at autobots or decepticon)

-Autobot Neutral

-(alt.universe)decepticon Primary Class Function:Triple changer,Cyberninja (point one percenter) Secondary Class Function:Warrior,scientist

As Cyberninja:Warrior,espionage,scout

Subroutine Function:Mystery Personality: - an enigma,at first she is seen apathetic,impulsive,dumb & is nihillistic,but once she is focused she is very intelligent,cunning,calm,sassy,kind,nice,sweet,& empathetic,her attitude towards things but she is very much like ratchet except,unlike him she results in more passive-agressive way,she is shown to have at least patience,undersganding & consideration,aside that she will be protective to those who wormed their way into her spark,not only that but she deosn’t easily keeps promise because she knows their some promises aren’t eash to keep.

she has a humorous side as she likes bad puns & good jokes,aside from it their are times she comes off arrogant or who doesn't care but deep down she shows she cares,she isn’t fond of attention as she is currently self-aware who she really is,but she is rather uncanny of her unique abilities & talents.

(there times she questions why optimus end up choosing her among the three well-known femmes as she tries not to have his attention but alas is inevitable,but in other universe,she is a bit like pearl from steven universe,despite she done everything for optimus,he ends up choosing someone else & this cause her to feel ignored,she is now comping of moving on from him & their war all together ) Background story: when she was just a human,who likes anime,transformers etc. & many other things,but suddenly she was transmigrated into a cybertronian,it turns out the primes & primus,saw something in her as she understood about the lives of transformers & their each different unique aspects of their lives in the continuity,because of it she is transmigrated in tfa,as she woken up as artemis & unknown to her,she was gonna change everything.

She soon starts her life slowly as she tries not to get attention from others,but after saving bumblebee from wasp & ironhide up to offering a friendship to orion,she soon gain others attention as she slowly curses of herself,she did not realize she had taken the spark of a certain handsome blue & red truck bot.

As time pass she gain more attention from others as she tries to live her life peacefully while having some odd misunderstandings occurs.

Relationship:

Optimus prime

-great friends/lovers(<in another community),met earlier years before the show begins,she & him become really great friends to one another,however at the starts of the show,she enters the autobot boot camp after optimus enter first,she caught every mechs attention including sentinel,she also met elita who once had the reputation of being the most beautiful & intelligent femme in the boot camp,until she came but she stays close to optimus most of the time,however the arch 7 incident begun & because she wasn’t there at the time,despite knowing what happened she couldn’t help,even though she admits to the three she felt something is not right,it happend & she helps him trying to recover while she gave sentinel a visible dent under his chin,fast years go by she is now in 2nd command of ultra magnus.

Optimus really care for her than he thought because she still believes in him more than anyone else.

(in another timeline ren & optimus are together,but mostly i others she just mostly friends with him)

Bumblebee & Bulkhead:

-friends & respect with admiration,,when she was the sergeant in the boot camp,she always help both bumblebee & bulkhead out of trouble everytime both wasp & ironhide(she saw hope in him),including sentinel who in turn cant talk back to her,she once told wasp if he keeps it up with his bullying he will get karma,months later wasp was arrested for something he didn't do,while ren felt she knew something might happen & after this she once talked to bumblebee about this & said ominously”once you saw wasp again,give me a call,kay?”she gave him a special device to call her,bumblebee still clueless as to why but ren did help him & bulkhead out all time so he kinda owe her,years now when he saw wasp remembering her words he called her & she helps the two,bulkhead admire & respect her because she was the only one who believes in him.

The two are grateful to her & they respect her more than ultra & sentinel.

Prowl & ratchet:

-Friends & respect,prowl had once met her as she was training under yoketron,he thought she was one of those snobbish nobles,however he was proven wrong when she shows tactic & precise through training,over time of their training the two gain each other respect,on the endgame with her help she & prowl manage to save the allspark,Ratchet on the other hand it was a different story,while she may asked for a personal training in medical,but im truth it took awhile for the two to grown each other,she was the one who keeps on a tab on arcee’s state,hearing this he decided to to be acquainted with her & soon they become at least good friends.

They are fine with her,especially since she always helps them.

Sentinel prime:

-love-hate relationship,while the two are torn because of sentinel actions,there are a times they end up acting like they used to,still she was still pissed at him.

Elita one/Blackarachnia:

- same with sentinel,she & elita are once close but the arch 7 incident happens & when meet again their friendship torns apart,while blackarachnia snarky tries to still pins the blame on optimus,Ren decided to give her a run down on everything,reminding her that she also the one insisted,experimented on others,nearly trying to kill others & especially others,she told her that its makes her monster not because of her appearance but mostly her actions,she also remind her she almost have to be saved by optimus far too many times,however she have a little faith on elita.

Decepticons:

Megatron:

-Respect,friends-regardless of their factions,he owes her his life,,it was unknown how the two meet or why,but both stayed in touch most of the time,there isn't much of information about it.

Shockwave:

-Friends,Respect-she saved him before she enters the autobot boot camp,she found his bleeding in a planet where he suppsoed to start his mission but in a unfortunate time,he was bitten by a scraplet,while he kiled the scraplet he was bleeding,she found him & fixed his bitten part of his body & the two become acquintained,to its whether or not she knew he was decepticon.

Strengths: - her friends

-her powers

-the people she cares for

-self-awareness Weakness: - her mind

-her friends

-her empathy

-self-awareness Family: - she was forged & was taken care by the Enigma house -she is a Crescente

-her parents in house of Enigma,is Axel Enigma & Copper 

Friends: - Orion pax/Optimus prime(friends/lovers(?),bumblebee,bulkhead,thundercracker,skywarp(she questions why),starscream(this one as well),Megatron(back then,she don’t know about now(tfp & idw),shockwave,lugnut,blitzwing(bruh??),

ocs:Novus,remix,ideaboard,

Enemies: -tfa(sentinel,council,blackarachnia(mutual)---0

-tfp(council,sentinel,arachnid,M.E.C.H)

-IDW TF(black block consortia,djd,overlord,sentinel---) Favorite Quotes to say: - “....i still think they are cybertronians regardless of their factions,they are like us in many ways of ones,we aren’t that different to begin with”(about the decepticons,autobots,& humans with aliens) Other: (other things about the character) -she was a Crescente & she doesn’t remember her real name,but her bracelet number code is SW1TCH814D3 she is fond of this name but she doesn’t use it,but she was always called Ren,Switchblade was her secondary name & nickname from her full name she can’t remember

-the “Celestyn”was her middle like all her ancestors starts from her 1st ancestor who had Celests,as their middle name

-”Crescente” was named after the moon,they history of their name & family is still mystery

-she has a counterpart who is a cyber ninja known as Cyberswift,born from enigma house & is the student of dai atlas

-she mostly use the energon fan given by dai atlas,who said it was made for her

-she has kids with optimus prime,their name is ortensia,a girl & artemis,a boy,they only exist in tfp & tfa au,rescue bots & rescue bots academy

-their relationship between ren & optimus,is portrayed as romantic in some transformers community & but their relationship is complete platonic in others

-her main universe is tfa & tfp

-the name “enigma”is special since it was rare to have “enigma”part of your name,it was name of the family she is”born”in

-some other universe,megatron becomes her lover instead,they had a kid named terminus

-her real name is Nirenia but changed into renegade,she still kept her real name though

-her nickname”Ren”is shared with the creator(me)regardless of her creator is sometimes called”rei”,but whenever the creator is referred to their other name”Ren”,renegade can be referred by her other names

-she is a point one precenter

-her cyberninja side has an extra but short bio about them

-she is the only one had two counterparts,her real-self & her cyberninja form

-Switchblade was someone else name.

________________

Her other forms

-g1

-rid2015

-tfp

-rescue  bots

-cyberverse

-rescue bots academy

-bayverse! 1&2 vers.

Renegade (c) me

Transformers(all media types) (c) Hasbro,michale Bay

[amnesicmaiden]

A Matter of Choice. . .

[Something I’ve been wanting to write after beating chapter 8, I’m sure I got some thing wrong but anyways!]

SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 8

Sometime after the operation at Chernoborg, The Doctor known as Seira was walking into the medical wards wearing her complete outfit including her mask as she kept hold of her clipboard with a few pages stacked on each other. With her uncharacteristically precise movements, there was an important matter for her to be attending, using her card to enter a more secured room being approached by one of the many medics.

“D-Doctor, are you here to visit the patient. We were told to expect you. . .”

“Eh? You were?”

“Yes, Doctor Kal'tist was here a moment ago to oversee any changes that may be unusual. Once she was finished she left saying “Expect Doctor Seira to come here.” and shortly you arrived.”

“As expected of Doctor Kal'tist, could you maybe tell me how her mood was when she spoke to you.”

“J-just the usual mood. Why do you ask a strange question like that Doctor?”

“I was just curious.”

“Well, we were told to let you in as it was deemed safe.”

“And the patient's condition?”

The medic eyes look down giving anyone that had a basic understanding that it was grim. “We're not sure if he's going to be able to get out of the coma. . .”

“. . .It's going to be like what Kal'tist said. . .” Seira said under her breath remembering the words Kal'tist had spoken to her.

“What was that Doctor?”

“Nothing, I was just remembering something Kal'tist had said to me. Do you mind if I enter the room, in private?”

“. . .You want to go in and be alone with him?”

“Yes? Is that a problem?”

“N-no of course not but we can only give you only a few minutes”

“How much is a few?”

“About ten.”

“I can make do with that.”

“Then we will come around that time and let you know when you have to leave Doctor.”

“Very well and thank you.”

With that said the Doctor enters the room that contains a lot of medical equipment that caused plenty of different kinds of sounds inside and medical equipment attached to a single white-haired Liberi boy who is in a deep deep sleep. Seira stood in front of the door until she heard the door shut with the last medical personal leaving the room and with that she spoke not in her usual friendly matter but in a serious tone that few have only heard her behave like. Slowly she enters the center of the room where the Liberi was located, standing to stare at him through her helmet.

“Still in that coma, Mephisto?” She spoke to the Liberi as if thinking he was listening to her words, walking to his side and pulling a seat next to him.

“Been thinking how it came all to this, how someone can be so cruel and then the next moment desperate enough to use the machine for what? Thought understanding I came out like new you wanted that as well? Is that what you figured? Well, guess the fact of the matter is that we are two completely different people. You came out as a monster bird, spewing toxins and cause something frightening yet Kal'tist was able to operate on you to bring you back like this. As for me. . .”

She paused, looking to her side away from the unconscious body and slowly she places her hand up, removing both her hood and her mask to reveal a woman with long-blue hair and red eyes, a soft gentle face but one that was currently being stern with the seriousness of what the subject is and who she is next to in which she turned back to face him.

“. . . My memories reset after I apparently sustain heavily injury and I was bought here, this healed me and it only made me forget my past. A past that still affects me now, something I did so horrible and maybe even more than that it affects how some people view me. It sounded like I didn't choose to go inside even what I did, I was injured but you. . . You wanted to forget, forget everything that had happen to you and what you've done, when you figured you could use that machine you came to it, and yet this world is always so cruel.”

She took a pause as she lets out a sigh, thinking over the choices she had made and the ones she made concerning the one in front of her. Was it a good idea to treat him like a patient, think of him as some casualty, a lamentable outcome of some hideous logic even seeing the horrible deeds he had done? Perhaps it was the wrong choice to some, perhaps the right choice to others, and a choice that no one can really judge. Then it came up to another thought. . .

“I've killed someone's best friend, someone that was dear to another and that person will hold that against me forever. Even if I have forgotten I still live with those consequences, it's not just Kal'tist but also W who is explicit in making me know what kind of person I am not compared to what I was in the past. Then I guess the only reason I was the right choice to bring back was because of my usefulness and yet Amiya trusts me so much with her big heart. . . Maybe she doesn't know? So, if I came back normal because we are all so different maybe I'm a different kind of monster and I only forgot the kind of monster I was. It's hard to understand but I'm so different from every else and not just what Kal'tist mention. What am I? I can't be Sarkaz, Sankta, Feline, Perro, Liberi, Aegir, Cautus and all the others I know of. . . I'm just, Seira who has this strange body. . .”

After a small pause of the Doctor looking down, a break of a moment as she giggles softly with her voice in a moment of weakness to its usual tone “You know, Kal'tist told me not to say some of the stuff I've said here yet It's not like you're listening as you sleep deeply. Hahaha. . .”

She slaps her own knee gently and continues talking to the comatose body with her voice still in the usual tone that others are used to.

“. . . It would be real bad if you were, but that really depends if you really do wake up. . . “ Then her voice went back to being dead serious.

“. . .I didn't bring you here because I forgive your deeds, rather I want you to face the terrible actions you have done to everyone even if you don't want to remember. So the question is this, in this world that is cruel to the infected and to many others. What is crueler to you, letting you wake up from your coma, being reminded of what you did, and having to face not just your actions but the loss of people you were close to while having an extremely limited time or perhaps you dying right here slowly is crueler, destined to never wake up. As I said, I don't forgive what I know you've done but if you do wake up I'll come to you, and if you do want to proceed forward even if your time is only a few years, a year, 6 months, a month or even a few days. I will help you on your path of redemption as long you seek that hard path. After all, Kal'tist never said a specific short time so perhaps you can have a small-time alive. Whatever this world thinks is crueler is most likely what will happen to you, all I did was make a choice even if there is no real difference to the end result if you are just fated to die.”

“. . . .”

“. . . .Guess my next action is to ask Talulah about you.  I don't want to ask her anything selfish, if she wants to make a decision on what she wants to do she has that freedom. Perhaps I just want to listen to her, know more about her, and learn a little more about Reunion. Of course, not just about you, but also FrostNova and Patriot, right, and what was that crossbow boy's name? Faust? Yeah, it was Faust.”

Seira could help but let out a chuckle, due to her speaking to a comatose body that most likely wasn't listening to her, guess it's a means to speak out her mind to herself using someone as a means while saying things she wanted to say to the boy. “. . . Can't believe I said all this, even taking off my mask and hood, guess it really doesn't matter. Rest well, Mephisto.”

With that said she places her hood and helmet back on, standing up and as she heads to the door the medic she had spoken to was opening to the door.

“Oh, Doctor. . . I was just about to say to you-.”

The Doctor interrupted the medic in her friendly tone. “Ten minutes has passed I'm guessing, I won't be coming back here anytime soon. Although, if I may make one request.”

The medic nods. “Of course, Doctor. What do you want?”

“If there are any signs of him waking up, let me know as soon as possible.”

“Yes, of course, Doctor but. . .”

“. . . I understand, the chances of that is immensely low. Still, the possibility is not 0%. We will do our best for any infected even if the chance is 0.01% so let's do the same here.”

The medic gave only a soft smile. “Yes, of course, Doctor. Can I ask why you wanted to be with the patient alone?”

“Don't worry about it, all I was doing was thinking about how much my choices actually mattered.”

“Doctor?”

“Ahaha, I told you to not worry about it. I'm just being silly~”

With that said, Doctor Seira leaves the medical room, walking out of the medical ward with that thought left all it was now. . . Was that Seira had made her own matter of choice and surely if someone else was in her shoes, they each will have their own.

[saiilorstars]

Chapter 1: Welcome Back

Current Story Masterlist  // Previous story // Maleny’s Masterlist

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x OFC

Pronunciation of OC’s name: Ma-leh-nee

Requested tag: @ocfairygodmother​ @anotherunreadblog​ @transformerfan97​ @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles

Story Summary: As they wait for the arrival of their long lost son, Klaus & his family face the prophecy spelling death for them all. Meanwhile, Maleny comes face to face with a past left buried within her thousand lives. She's faced with the one truth that she never thought would happen. Has her heart always belonged to the same man? The truth may sting and the enemies will take the advantage. Against their enemies and losses, Maleny and Klaus come up with a new promise: they will come back to each other in the end. First, they must save each other.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

The Quarter was having a relatively calm night, as had been the custom for several months now. No one could have ever guessed there had almost been yet another battle among the supernatural. Thankfully, everything had calmed and although there there were still unresolved issues, there was no more threats coming to the Mikaelsons.

Well, perhaps Klaus could think of one but it was no threat to others besides him. He had forgotten how chatty Maleny could be when she learned new things, or when she was simply excited.

"And did you know they made chocolate red!? That is so weird!" Maleny laughed, while flipping through a magazine. "And then I heard about what humans really think vampires are!" she laughed again, "Do you know you're supposed to glitter outside?"

Klaus seemingly paid more attention to the bed covers' edges than her. Maleny was straddled over him, holding a magazine in her hands, and rapidly telling him all she was discovering of the new world. Frankly, that was not what he pictured when he'd suggested they move back to his room earlier in the day.

After a while, Klaus snatched the magazine from her hands, tossing it over the bed. Maleny pouted and gave him a glare, "I was reading that! And you weren't listening!"

"I was, selectively," Klaus said calmly, languidly turning his head to her. He moved up halfway to meet her 'pout' and proved that he was, indeed, listening. "You want to try the red chocolate, you can't believe they put pineapple on pizzas, the fact there's reversible sweaters bewilders you and yes, I did know of that ridiculous glittering rule."

Maleny stared at him a full two minutes before teasingly smiling, "Hmm…" she put her hands over his bare chest, "...all I heard was you watched that Twilight movie."

"I would rather dagger myself than ever watch that," Klaus rolled his eyes, "Humans are idiots."

"So broody," Maleny continued to tease, "How do I make that go away?"

"I have some...suggestions..." Klaus passed a hand down her hair and to her arm.

Maleny chuckled. They had somewhere to be yet they had fooled around for quite some time, and now he was less than half-dressed and she was still in sleeping garments. "While that is mighty tempting, I want to read a little more. Every accomplishment these humans have made is amazing. Is it true there's an actual place in Europe where the streets are full of water? And people have to literally sail on boats to get through?"

Klaus nodded, "Venice is quite beautiful. I suppose you'll have to see for yourself when we visit."

Maleny's eyes lighted up at the insinuation, "We're...we're gonna go? Are you serious?"

"Of course," Klaus reached to run a hand down her loose hair, "I was thinking of a family trip for when Nicolas came home."

"Ooh, I like the idea," Maleny gasped at the idea.

"I thought you would…"

"I do," Maleny grinned, giving him a kiss. One kiss soon turned into a second, which then turned into a third, and suddenly Maleny found herself being flipped over. She now gazed at a smirking hybrid above her, "Don't we have an art exhibit to go to? Your art exhibit?" she innocently questioned.

"It can wait a little while more," Klaus pressed another kiss to her lips, soon turning into dozens more.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah Collins grimly walked alongside Vincent Griffith down a street where police lights were flashing and brightening up the 'do not cross' tape that covered nearly half the street.

The French witch sighed as they grew closer to the crime scene, "Tell me again why it is you decided to call me in?"

"Well," Vincent coughed awkwardly, "to be honest, my first choice was Cami but she's not answering-"

"She wouldn't," Amarrah agreed with a small smile, "She's a bit busy dealing with the matters of this Quarter. Seeing as she's now controlling it, she's got a lot to deal with."

Vincent threw her a playful glare, "Oh, and she's a bigshot now?"

"Hey," Amarrah elbowed him on his side, "she's doing good and you have to acknowledge that."

"True, true," Vincent nodded, "I thought because of her psychology experience she would have some insight on this crime. But you're not so bad, seeing as you were an officer in your days?"

"Detective," Amarrah corrected with a smirk.

"Ooh, maybe you're better than Cami," Vincent shared a chuckle with her. "Now listen, me and all the P.D. have a relationship that goes back to that nastiness with my ex-wife. I'm their expert in anything that even seems occult. And every so often, they come across the aftermath of some black magic and they call me in."

"Hmm, and I'm to assume they've ran into something even you haven't seen yet?"

Amarrah's question was never answered as they turned for an alley where they were greeted by a blonde man, presumably a detective. "Is this your friend the shrink?" he nodded to Amarrah who frowned at such a distasteful greeting.

"Hey, I'm a Detective and you need to learn some manners," she gave him a pointed finger.

Amused, the man smiled, "Detective? From overseas? Well, you should have said so."

"You didn't exactly give me a chance," Amarrah slightly lightened up. "I'm Amarrah Collins."

The man took her hand to shake and introduced himself as well, "Detective Will Kinney. Now, I'm not trying to be rude but I was really hoping the shrink would be here."

"Technically not a shrink," Amarrah clarified, "And she's a bit busy. But I'm pretty good myself with strange cases. What am I doing here?"

"It's an impressionable sight," Will warned as he led Amarrah and Vincent further down the alley.

"Oh believe me when I say I have seen impressionable sights all my life," Amarrah shared a look with Vincent, almost laughing at the irony. However, once they passed a dumpster and saw the corpse, the smile vanished from her face. "Although this would be a first…"

"Maybe now you would consider having your almost-shrink friend looking into this," Will patted her arm before leaving the two.

"Clearly a vampire," Amarrah announced several minutes after the Detective had left.

The victim was a middle-aged man, dressed in a fancy black suit. He had his wrists and elbows held up by ropes, making him seem like a puppet. What had horrified Amarrah was the gruesome, wide slash the man had from ear to ear, still dripping fresh blood.

"Which one, precisely?" Vincent raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, we'll have to figure that out ourselves," Amarrah gulped but could not, for the life of her, take her eyes off the corpse.

While unpleasant, Amarrah found traits she could easily identify from a vampire. She didn't know whether to thank the Mikaelsons for her newfound knowledge of the vampire world or be ashamed of herself for being unfazed with the work before her.

"Well, I'm no forensic psychologist, but whoever did this took their time," she started making conclusions to Vincent, "He bled- a lot- which means he was alive... but it was like he just stood here. These ropes are just for display," she gestured, "He wasn't bound- there are no marks on his wrists, no signs of struggling or clawing…"

"He was compelled," Vincent said what she had been trying to get at, "Maybe Rich-Boy pissed off the wrong vampire."

Detective Kinney came back to join them at the moment and cut off any vampire talk immediately. "How are you guys doing over here? Tell me you got something."

Amarrah quickly came up with a less supernatural conclusion. "It seems methodical. Precise. The wounds might have a special meaning to the killer. Not a formal ritual, but intentional. And, the things we do on purpose, we tend to repeat."

"Well," Kinney looked mildly impressed with her work, "that's not going to bode well for us."

"I'm afraid not," Amarrah agreed with a resigned sigh. She knew the next person they would have to talk to.

~ 0 ~

Now dressed in a white blouse and leather black pants, Maleny strode into the lounge room where Freya was sat on the ground with Hope, attending to her. "You forgot this, Freya," Maleny said, holding a small golden necklace as she joined the two.

"Sorry, I forgot to put it back on her when I took her out of the bath," Freya apologized and moved to handle the matter herself when Maleny waved with a hand she would do it herself.

Maleny pushed her recently curled hair behind her shoulders and got on her knees. "It's fine," she sat back on her legs and gently put the necklace around Hope's neck, "There we go, sweetheart," she kissed the toddler's head. "Now you be sure to show that to your Mummy again, alright?" she raised the necklace's locket and opened it up, revealing a picture of Hayley inside, "Who's that, Hope? Mummy. It's your Mummy."

Freya watched the toddler intently stare at the picture inside the locket. Since breaking Hayley's curse had turned out to be much more difficult than was assumed, Maleny had taken all measures so that Hope never forget who her mother was. The necklace had been a gift from her, and every chance she got she made sure to show the picture of Hayley to Hope.

After a while, Hope looked up from the locket and squealed as she reached for Maleny's golden necklace. Maleny laughed and picked her up, "Excuse you, young lady, I had this one," she pointed to Hope's locket, "bought for you so you could leave mine alone."

Hope paid no more attention as she gripped Maleny's necklace. She babbled to herself instead.

Maleny sighed and looked up at Freya, "Kids…"

Freya knew the word meant millions for the blonde, and especially now considering that Nicolas had made no such appearance nor contact. While Maleny tried to keep strong and simply wait, it was getting more difficult. To say, even Klaus often found himself impatient and broody over the subject. Their patience was slimming and Freya wondered when the couple would reach their breaking point and go in search for Nicolas themselves.

"So, where exactly are you headed?" Freya then asked as an attempt to disway any bad feelings. "If I'm correct Klaus' artwork doesn't open to the public until tomorrow night."

"He says he wants to give me a private tour," Maleny smiled deviously, instantly making Freya raise a hand and stop her.

"Spare me the details or I jump out," she warned. Maleny laughed at the antics but didn't continue.

Elijah walked in at that moment and smiled at the sight of his niece, probably the only thing that managed to make him smile nowadays.

Maleny smiled at him, "You wanted to hold her?"

"No, no, um…" Elijah seemed restless, unable to decide what it was he wanted. In another time, it would have surprised Maleny, but knowing what had happened between him and Cami, it had become a rather usual thing for him.

Freya exchanged a look with Maleny, and partly to help her brother, she offered a distraction, "Were you coming in to make plans for tomorrow? It's the full moon and I assume you want me to go with you?"

"I'd offer myself but…" Maleny made a face, "...I don't think Hayley's quite ready to see me yet. I bet she's still pissed - and with great motives."

Elijah didn't exactly want to agree with her and make her feel worse, so he simply waved a hand and said back, "I thought tomorrow I could just take Hope myself. Give you a night off," he looked at Freya.

"Are you sure you don't deserve a night off?" Freya challenged, "Perhaps several days off...or a week…?"

Elijah looked to the side, aggravated the same thing was being offered to him - take a break from the Quarter. "No, I'm fine, thank you," and with that, he left the room.

Freya shook her head and walked to the couch, plopping down, "Poor brother, he's suffering a lot."

"Yeah, well, he's not the only one," Maleny reminded.

"But it's her fault, you know," Freya shrugged.

"No, it's not. Cami's angry too, and she's hurt. It's gonna be some time before either can move on from what happened."

"If you ask me, I think Cami's doing a lot better than Elijah," Freya gave the blonde a hard look, more inclined to defend her brother. "She's taken the reigns of the city and hasn't remotely directed a word to Elijah, me, or even Klaus. It's like she's trying to forget we exist and frankly I find that rude."

Maleny playfully rolled her eyes, "Oh, Freya, if you knew the Cami I knew, you would see she's barely keeping herself from falling apart."

~ 0 ~

The following morning, the newest leader of the Quarter had gotten up early to train with Marcel at St. Ann's church. The place had been remodeled into a training gym for anyone interested no matter vampire, wolf, witch, human, etc. At the center of the place stood a large cage made of chain-link fence (and reinforced with steel for those tougher visitors). This was where Cami and Marcel currently were, sparring with each other. Marcel was having quite a surprise as Cami nearly managed to get him from one angle. She ultimately pinned him to the fence.

"How's that?" she grinned ecstatically.

Marcel arched an eyebrow, using Cami's momentary distraction to turn the tables over and pin her to the wall. "Now I told you, don't get cocky," he laughed and released the blonde from his neck hold.

Cami rolled her eyes but smiled anyways, "My bad."

"But you are getting far better," Marcel praised sincerely after a minute, "You've improved over these months and I'm proud of you. You'd be quite the challenge in a real fight."

Cami light heartedly nodded her thanks. Although she hadn't explicitly told Marcel the reason for her endeavoring to train harder, he had already made the assumption it was to make sure no one would ever so easily snap her neck anymore - no one would ever break her again.

"Although," Marcel's voice pulled Cami from her thoughts, "if you do get into a fight, you'd have a hell of a backup with the guys," he nodded over to the other vampires working out in the room.

Cami rolled her eyes, "They're not an army. And I wish you'd stop calling them that," she laughed, "One of these days they'll take it seriously."

"C'mon, just a little joke between a previous city holder to the new one," Marcel nudged her, both sharing another laugh.

"You could have been with me, both of us looking after the Quarter," Cami sobered up and warmly looked at her friend, "And the offer still stands, you know. I don't know much about politics and you definitely know how to keep things in order."

Marcel shook his head, patting Cami on the arm. "It's better this way. If I were to take back the Quarter, sooner or later Klaus would endeavor to take the crown again. There's just too much tension boiling. At least with you, we know Klaus wouldn't, and couldn't, hurt you even if he wanted to."

Cami chuckled lightly, shaking her head disappointingly. She had kept her words to Amarrah and done what she could to help more people out. After officially quitting school, she kept the long-ago promise she made Elijah and took her place at the factions meetings. Although it was tough to convince the other faction leaders, which now also included Davina (being Regent of the witch covens), agreed to let her lead the city in a peaceful manner, both for humans and vampires. Because of her, the Quarter had had many months of peace.

That wasn't to say she had much peace, however.

"Cami?" Amarrah called as soon as she and Vincent came into the place. Cami nodded and walked out of the fighting ring, along with Marcel, and headed to the two mortals. "We have a problem," Amarrah announced while Vincent pulled out his cellphone. "Last night there was a murder and we're pretty sure it was a vampire."

"Or vampires," Vincent made sure to add in. He handed the phone now showing the pictures of victim, which Cami took and began to swipe through as she and Marcel studied the injuries.

"Gnarly stuff," Marcel sighed, already beginning to assume who could have done the murder.

"Yeah, the guy was torn apart," Amarrah shook her head, "I mean, there are no obvious puncture wounds, but whoever did that had to be a vampire. And nobody heard any screams, so he had to have been compelled to just stand there and suffer."

"Since when are you into this stuff?" Cami raised an eyebrow, curiously looking between the two.

"I'm a Detective, remember?" Amarrah laughed, "They were looking for you but got me instead."

Marcel stuck to the subject more seriously and handed back the phone to Vincent, " You think this was us? The guys know better than to leave a body in the streets."

Vincent didn't seem to buy it as he gestured to the other vampires in the room, "How well do you know your guys?"

"It doesn't make sense for us to leave dead bodies on the streets," Cami cut in, "That would eventually get into the headlines which would make tourism drop. We don't mess with our food supply, Vincent."

"Maybe someone new lost control?" Amarrah offered an alternative that could very well be plausible.

"Maybe you guys should consider that our guys aren't the only vampires in town."

Amarrah then frowned, even Cami understanding the implication, "You don't think this was work from the Mikaelsons?"

"They're a hot mess whether they want to admit it or not," Marcel put his hands in a neutral manner, "Klaus has 'patiently' been waiting for the arrival of his long lost son who still hasn't even made contacts. And Elijah…" Marcel cast a sideways glance to the blonde vampire beside him, who was already shifting awkwardly, "...kinda had trouble of his own," he left it at that out of consideration for Cami. "Pick one."

"They wouldn't," Amarrah declared, far more sure than the other three with them. Frankly, she was surprised Cami could believe that.

"Listen, I know you all like to think Maleny can control Klaus but the truth is sooner or later he'll cut loose because that's just who he is," Marcel shrugged, not sorry to say the utter truth - at least his view on it anyways. "This is some wicked fairy tale you all like to think, but if you want a real suspect go to the compound."

As Marcel turned to leave, Amarrah mumbled a couple words to Vincent and he walked out as well. Afterwards, Amarrah sharply looked at Cami, seriously asking, "You don't actually think Elijah could do this right?"

Shifting to her side, Cami quietly answered, "I don't know."

The answer didn't seem to please Amarrah, in fact it almost made her angry. "You're not gonna let these feelings cloud your mind are you? It wouldn't be fair."

"Oh none of this is fair," Cami waved a hand at the witch, "I'm only saying that maybe, for a moment, one of them lost control. I'm not accusing them, it's just an idea."

"You're such a liar," Amarrah rolled her eyes, "I'll let you know what else I come up with Vincent. And don't worry, I won't tell Mal any of this nonsense you and Marcel just uttered."

Cami playfully rolled her eyes and waved goodbye to the French witch, choosing to forget the moment they had just passed through. That was what she tended to do nowadays anyways when it came to the Mikaelsons - forget and move on.

~ 0 ~

"Oooh, I like your dress, Miss Mikaelson," Maleny laughed as Freya quickly looked down to her going-out dress as if she'd forgotten what she'd put on.

The two blondes were in the courtyard, Maleny coming down from the stairs, while Freya looked into her bag for her last things before going out.

"You clean up nice yourself, Miss Rowan," Freya winked.

"I don't know, is this what you wear to an art exhibit?" Maleny chuckled sheepishly as she looked down at herself, truthfully unsure. She had opted for a tight dark blue dress that reached above her knees with an open black jacket over it.

"Don't know, but it goes great at a party," Freya nudged her with a smirk, "You said you'd come with me the next time I went to one."

"Ooh, I did say that, huh?" Maleny made a face, clearly remembering the promise she made to Freya after having to decline the same type of offer in favor of a dinner with Cami and Amarrah.

"Get away from my date, Freya," Klaus warned as he approached the two blondes from the downstairs corridors. "She's already said 'yes' to me a long while ago."

"Also true," Maleny pointed to him in thought, "Oh dear…"

"Lighten up," Freya momentarily frowned, "She can come to my party first and then go to your exhibit."

"Or," Klaus gave her a smirk, as they probably assumed what he would say next, "she could go to the exhibit...and stay there."

"She said yes to me before she said 'yes' to you!"

"Okay then," Maleny cut in between the two siblings, holding her arms out to keep the two from continuing arguing, "How about I go to Freya first, party a little, and then I meet you at your exhibit and stay there for as long as you like?"

"Maleny," Klaus tilted his head, his tone implying he wasn't quite agreeing with her.

Maleny turned to Klaus, languidly draping her arms over his shoulders, "Oh c'mon, your sister doesn't know the city as much as I do. I'm there, one hour, two hours and then I switch venues...where I will be all yours."

"Oh, brother," Freya muttered under her breath, almost gagging at the sight.

"Using your charms will one day fail you," Klaus warned her while pushing back a strand of her hair.

"I doubt it," Maleny cheekily grinned, "I learned it from the Mikaelsons - among other things."

"You're almost one of us," Freya spoke up behind them, over her gagging moment and now smiling at the two. "You know...except for that big 'Rowan' at the end of your name."

Maleny blushed and removed one hand from Klaus to stand sideways and glance at Freya, "Well, it is my name," she said quietly, twiddling with one of her blonde curls, blushing fiercer as she felt Freya smirking wider at her.

"You could always change it," Klaus casually said, misunderstanding the implication his sister was trying to give him.

Maleny let her curl drop and lightly sighed, "I guess…" her tone went slightly sour, and disappointed. It's not that she expected something grand for her to truly become a Mikaelson, but she did want a little something more than just 'you could always change it'. Feeling a little more disappointed suddenly, she looked at the two siblings, "I forgot my purse upstairs."

Freya watched the blonde take her sudden leave with almost a sense of amusement. She waited until Maleny was completely gone before teasing her younger brother. "For a man that's lived a thousand years, you sure are clueless."

Klaus arched an eyebrow at the woman, displeased at the insult, "Come again? What, pray tell, have I apparently done this time?"

Freya laughed and stepped towards him, "You really didn't see how disillusioned Mal was after you so poorly suggested she just 'change her name' like it was a piece of paper."

"But...it is," Klaus said slowly, still not understanding the problem, "In fact, with us, it's only a matter of changing how you introduce yourself. There's no need for legal matters."

Freya rolled her eyes, wondering if this was what it was to have brothers. Were they supposed to be clueless? Well, she already had to tend to a clueless Elijah who would simply not admit his true feelings for, and directly to, Cami. And now she had to deal with Klaus, who so stupidly did not see what it was Maleny actually wanted. She supposed with Klaus, it was a little easier considering the two were actually together and in full knowledge of what they felt for each other. It was just pointing out the delicate details that needed to be resolved.

"Let me ask you some simple questions, alright?" she began calmly, "Have you ever pictured anything else for you and Maleny?"

Although Klaus couldn't see what she was trying to get at, he went along with her questions. "'Anything else'," he mimicked her tone, "was simply a child," he smirked triumphantly, "And as we all know, that's been resolved."

Freya upheld her calm look despite it looking like she was losing. "And...beyond that?"

"What else is there, Freya?"

"How about the 'forever' part? The part where Maleny is turned so the 'always and forever' can actually be 'always and forever'?"

The question immediately put Klaus in a mood, "That is none of your business," he declared and made to leave...but Freya wasn't having it.

"So that's your plan, then? Ignore the inevitable truth until Maleny has aged and is no longer that youthful blonde you're so used to?" Klaus stopped walking, but kept his back to her. "Maleny is mortal again, brother, and by nature's law she will age," Freya continued, "Do you intend to leave her like that? Bury her down at the graveya—"

"ENOUGH!" Klaus boomed and turned back for his sister, stalking up to her, "You will desist in any of that sort of talk...especially when Maleny is around."

Freya sighed, completely unalarmed despite having provoked a great rage in her brother. "Don't be upset because I'm calling in the truth. And that was all just to make a point."

"I'm not interested in your point," Klaus scoffed.

"My point was trying to get you to see how disappointed Mal was when you so poorly told her to just change names because she expected more."

"Like?"

"Oh my God," Freya had a small laugh to herself, "Do I have to go buy the ring myself and ask her to marry me instead?" The realization struck Klaus, and hard, and for a minute he was left frozen in his place. Freya laughed again, patting his shoulder, "There we go, brother. Ponder on that, will you?" she looked past him to the stairs, where Maleny was quietly making her way down. "Looks like my date's here—Mal!"

"I'm ready," Maleny assured as Freya walked towards her. "Klaus, I'll be there in about an hour and a half," she called to the hybrid, but he simply waved a hand at her while still overthinking on Freya's "point". Maleny gave him an odd look as Freya led her out, "What's gotten into him?"

Freya snickered, "Some words."

~ 0 ~

Cami walked into her place and flicked the lights on, sighing at the large mess of boxes she still had lying around, but soon got over it upon seeing Amarrah inside. "Uh...hello!?" Cami blinked, shutting the door behind her.

"Hello," Amarrah was sitting on the couch looking through a police file of the same victim she had come to Cami for information on. She looked up with a cheery smile, "I sent Vincent home, thought you could help me better instead. You want a drink?" she got up and walked for the kitchen.

Cami continued to cluelessly blink, remaining in place, "Um...what exactly are you doing here?"

"Looking for more information on the murder case, clearly," Amarrah returned with two glasses of bourbon.

"Why, exactly, are you here?" Cami raised an eyebrow, blankly taking the drink from her once it was handed. "Not to be rude, but...why?"

"Because I thought we could work on it together," Amarrah shrugged and returned to her seat on the couch. She opened up another file and slid to the edge of the table, where Cami was. "I thought you could help me out on the vampire details."

Cami sighed and finally walked over, picking up a paper and skimming it, "I don't know what I can do, Ams. You're the Detective, here."

"Yes, and you're the vampire here. Do you see how we can make the perfect team?" Amarrah tilted her head, giving the blonde a look.

"Alright, fine," Cami put her glass down on the table, "but I still think it's worth asking Maleny about this."

"Absolutely not," Amarrah shook her head as she returned to her work, "I just don't think Klaus or Elijah did this. They've got no reason to do so."

"I still think you should at least talk to them," Cami persisted, leaning back on the couch, "At least give them a chance to tell you if they did it so you quit doing unnecessary work."

Amarrah sighed, finally relenting, "Alright, fine. We can go—"

"Oh n-n-n-n-n-n-no," Cami shook her head and began getting up from the couch, completely refusing the idea, "I am not going anywhere near that compound-"

Amarrah rolled her eyes, "We can ask Maleny and Klaus, they're probably at the art exhibit going on tonight. Plus, I know for a fact Elijah's in the bayou."

Cami narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms in suspicion, "How?"

"Because it's a full moon tonight," Amarrah sighed, thus relieving Cami, as well as also reminding them both of their guilt for still being unable to help Hayley and their closer wolf friends, Alton and Yamilet. "So," she pushed herself up to her feet, "Now you want to come with me?"

"Yes," Cami said, still acting like she was being asked far too much.

~ 0 ~

At St. James Infirmary, the setting for the art exhibit, Klaus had been impatiently waiting for Maleny to finally make an appearance. Two hours had passed and yet there was no sign of the blonde. However, he did get a rather surprising visit instead from an old "friend", Lucien Castle, whom he hadn't seen in over a thousand years. His impatience of Maleny subsided mildly after a couple of drinks with Lucien.

In the end, a blonde did make an appearance...along with a French dark-haired woman.

"Give me a moment," Klaus motioned to Lucien as he got up from their table and went to greet the two women, "To what do I owe this visit?" he smirked, "Mal's not here and I doubt Elijah will be making an appearance."

Cami deeply sighed in irritation, "I'm here on business," she snapped, "And I intend on making it short before you make another round of jokes like you commonly do."

Klaus rolled his eyes, "What do you want?"

Amarrah cleared her throat, "Someone tortured and killed a local. Left the body right out in the open. I think it was a vampire."

"Last time I heard vampire business was now your department," Klaus pointed to the blonde, "Don't bother me."

Cami was near losing her temper with him, "We need to know if it was you or Elijah that did it so Amarrah knows what to tell the cops."

The accusation was surprising but caused far more amusement to Klaus than anger, "You think I left a sloppy mess out in the street? You have confused me for a simpleton, clearly. And as for Elijah, don't bother. He rarely goes out nowadays."

"We're being serious, Klaus," Amarrah gave him a scolding look, "The victim was found like like a-"

But Klaus had lost interest in the conversation and turned to walk away from the two. The only reason he stopped midway was because of the familiar scent that had wafted in from the entrance. Maleny straightened herself up and walked further into the room, but was stopped as Amarrah and Cami passed by.

"You need to teach your boyfriend some manners," Cami snapped, making Maleny rapidly blink, barely able to process when Amarrah added something as well.

"Look, Mal, we really need you guys to look into the latest of murder victims," she pleaded, "I'll send you the file later."

"Wh-what?" Maleny uttered after the two women had left. Slowly, she continued walking and met Klaus with a questioning, yet not completely 'there' look, "Do I want to know?"

"No," Klaus shook his head, quickly instigating her to smile. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he smelt traces of alcohol on her. "Why exactly were you late?"

The grin on Maleny's face widened as she giggled, "I may have...tried some drinks…" she tilted her head to the side, catching view behind him. "Why exactly is that guy looking at me like I'm his next course meal?"

Klaus glanced over his shoulder, following Maleny's gaze to Lucien who was sitting and smirking their way. "Dinner, snack…" he even said to joke, "...appetizer?"

"Klaus," Maleny said, rather shaken up at the man's bluntness.

"He's merely joking, love," Klaus started leading her towards the table, "Although you probably would feel less scared if you hadn't had too much to drink."

"It was a party, what did you think was gonna happen?" Maleny rolled her eyes, "I was being a good friend to Freya who didn't want to drink alone. And don't start with me. Who's your friend?"

"Old acquaintance. Nothing more," Klaus said quietly, a hint of reluctance in his tone that Maleny didn't pick up on.

"Old acquaintance?"" Lucien frowned, feigning offence, "You wound me!"

They came to a stop at the table where Lucien had already gotten up to greet the blonde. She stared him up and down for a minute, "You're kinda cute," she remarked, earning quite a response from both men.

"Ooh, I definitely like your friend, Nik," Lucien laughed while Klaus tried not kill him there and then.

"She's not my 'friend'-" Klaus began when Lucien cut him off.

"Even better," he made one step closer to Maleny but Klaus immediately blocked the way with himself.

"She's not my 'friend', she's mine," Klaus finished with an air of triumph.

Maleny tapped his shoulder, making him look back, "I'm not property you know," she said calmly, the amount of drinks clouding her real emotions. "I do have thoughts and feelings."

"Yes, and at the moment I fear they aren't at their best," Klaus gently motioned her to come forwards.

"They are," Maleny insisted and took a deep breath and started over again. "What was your name again?" she asked Lucien.

"Lucien Castle," the old vampire took her hand and kissed it.

The blonde smiled at him warmly, and as she looked at him she began getting brief flashes of...a hallway?

...My lady, why are you crying?…

…No reason, simple...family issues…

...Absolutely no one should make you shed tears...

Maleny crinkled her nose as a familiar painful jab took over the side of her head. "Oh," she came back with a gasp. She had been sat down at the table, and had both men attending to her as if she were dying. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, still feeling rather hazed, "I don't know what happened…"

"I do, you had too much drink," Klaus frowned, already thinking of berating Freya when he saw her again.

Maleny briefly looked at him for the comment and instead focused on what she had saw and heard in her mind. She knew exactly what they were, or at least what had seemed to happen. She would never forget that type of head pain. It was a memory that had tried to resurface. The scenery was completely new to her, as well as her new persona. Things went by so fast she couldn't understand it. She supposed now that it had tried to come back, it probably would be making another attempt soon. The only thing that concerned her was if it was normal for the pain to still come with them, as this was her original body, her own mind.

"Mal," Klaus' voice brought her back to the present. He was holding her hand, trying to see if she was in yet another trance. "Mal, are you alright?"

Maleny kindly smiled, "I'm always alright. Whatever it was, it passed. However, I do think I should see what had Amarrah and Cami so concerned. It seems like you already found yourself a drinking buddy…" she glanced at Lucien, "...and I definitely wouldn't want to crash a guy's night, so maybe it's best I take my leave."

"By all means, do stay if you'd like," Lucien smirked at her.

"Lucien!" Klaus snapped, making the other vampire raise his hands in a non-threatening way.

"I was being polite!"

Maleny chuckled and got up with ease, "So it's settled. Although," she walked up to Lucien, "You seem like the typical rich vampire guy that knows how to have fun…"

Lucien nodded with great pride, "Well…"

Maleny suddenly turned serious, "Keep your little girlfriends off him," she pointed back to Klaus, "or I will personally drive a stake right through this heart," she tapped Lucien's chest with a wide, sarcastic smile, "Got it?"

"Very feisty for an apparent mortal," Lucien remarked in amusement.

"I look out for what's mine," Maleny calmly declared and stepped back to where Klaus was, now addressing him, "And if you let those hands get on you, I'll kill you. And when you come back, I'll kill you again."

"Understood," Klaus smirked at her, "Ma'am."

Maleny rolled her eyes, "Oh, shut up," she grabbed her purse from the table and walked off.

"Where'd you pick that one up?" Lucien curiously asked as the two watched the blonde leave, "She's certainly no where near like the psychopath you had during our time."

The reminder provoked a tensed silence to break between the two men. In all the centuries, Klaus hadn't once thought about the redhead and he wasn't going to have any details of that time be told near Maleny. However, now that Maleny was gone, his curiosity was able to get the best of him.

"Have you spoken to her?" he quietly asked Lucien.

A grim, distasteful look spread over Lucien's face, "Aurora and I parted ways centuries ago - thankfully. You know I never had desire to see her after what she did to Cecilia."

"Yes," Klaus nodded, recalling the event that had occurred right before his family was forced to run from Mikael again. "The tragedy…"

"It wasn't a tragedy!" Lucien snapped and turned on him, suddenly angry, "It was murder. Aurora killed her out of spite, and ruined—"

"Lucien!" Klaus raised his voice, stopping the vampire midway in his passionate fury, "It's done," Klaus said quietly, not as indifferent as he might have been had he not discovered Maleny had also gone through similar cases.

Still heavily feeling, Lucien snatched his drink from the table and headed for the bar for more, grumbling under his breath.

1002 A.D. France.

Keeping his promise that would save his life, the servant Lucien had introduced the Mikaelson siblings to his master, the Count de Martel, under the name of the real family he had been sent for (but had been killed in a feeding spree by the vampires). He hadn't been sure how the event would go down, for the Count was smart and would be suspicious of the children of the Count de Guise whom had never been mentioned. Thankfully, with his instructions, the Mikaelsons had successfully charmed the Count de Martel and were now taking joy of the party the castle was holding.

Now, as his status only allowed, Lucien stood at the side of the room simply looking at the ongoing celebration when Klaus approached him.

"You've proven to be an immense help," he remarked to the servant, meaning it to be as close to a 'thank you' as it could get.

"Oh. Of course, my lord," Lucien replied, rather bashfully.

"Though, I must say, you don't seem at all disturbed about leading us into your master's home."

Lucien sighed and glanced at Count de Martel, "My master is a cruel drunkard who torments his minions for sport. Beggars who seek supper. Vassals who cannot pay a debt... like my own father."

Klaus nodded with understanding, "Ah," following the glare sent to the Count.

Lucien continued with sudden anger, "All these gentile folk, behind their silks and their jewels, are slavers. Killers. Whatever evil you are, you walk among greater evil still. What do I care if you kill the lot of them?"

But then laughter carried over, grabbing both of the men's attention. It belonged to a dark-haired woman who had taken to a rather odd dance with another young man. And it was as if Lucien had never been angry in the first place.

"Who is that?" Klaus asked, curiously.

"The Count's niece - Lady Cecilia," Lucien replied, never taking his eyes off the dark-haired woman, "Her parents passed away years ago and the Count took her under his protection with his children."

"Children?" Klaus repeated, now more interested in the story.

Lucien nodded and gestured to the incoming young man and woman on the other side of the room. "The Count's children- the Lord Tristan and the Lady Aurora."

Klaus suddenly became more interested in the bright redhead Aurora, "She is exquisite."

"Ah, yes," Lucien agreed carelessly, "Um, as her brother is wicked, might I suggest that you avoid them completely?"

Klaus followed the steps the redhead took, "But would she really be a threat, even to one like me?"

"She is an intelligent one, do not doubt it," Lucien warned, but it went over Klaus' head as he became more entranced by the strange woman.

At a club heavily packed with all sorts of people, Freya was dancing with some new women she had met after Maleny left. She had to stop dancing, however, after her cellphone went off. She covered one ear to listen to Elijah on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Did I misinterpret the kind of exhibition you're attending?" Elijah asked, sounding bemused by the loud music he could hear in the background.

"I switched venues!" Freya chuckled.

"Forgive me for cutting into your free night, Freya, but I am in desperate need of help," Elijah said, sounding equally frantic which made Freya rush to the outsides where she would be able to hear better.

"What's wrong, Elijah?" Freya asked, concerned.

"There are hunters in the bayou and I fear Hayley has fallen into one of their traps…"

Freya's eyes widened, "Oh, dear…"

"I need to search the bayou but I cannot do it on my own. Plus, someone needs to look after Hope."

Freya nodded in understanding, suddenly getting an idea of just who could help him scour the bayou for missing wolves. "Okay, I'll be there - I have an idea."

~ 0 ~

The art show was over, and while the people had left, Klaus and Lucien remained inside, both still drinking yet Lucien still in a foul mood from the earlier reminder. Frankly over it, and partially wanting to get back to Maleny and see how she was doing, Klaus approached Lucien and got straight to the point.

"Lucien- what are you really doing in my city?"

Lucien sighed and turned to him, "News has spread, old friend. Every vampire in the world knows you've been attacked. A number of times, nearly killed."

Klaus rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore the matter, "Oh, well, I can assure you that all those who stood against me ended up either desiccated, dust, or dinner."

Lucien lightly laughed, though still seemed unusually nervous, "Yes, but... what if it had gone the other way, hmm? When Finn was killed, we all learned the truth- the life of every vampire is linked back to the Original who begat the line. Kol's death confirmed it. Two entire lines of vampires wiped out! As you can imagine, the threat level doesn't sit well with those of us who remain."

"Anyone fearing death as a result of my demise should come see me!" Klaus sarcastically smiled, "I'll be happy to reassure them."

"Of course. You and your siblings are mighty, indeed. Though, the attacks on you show that you are not completely invulnerable," Lucien continued, "While you've wallowed in your family affairs, your progeny have grown somewhat... restless. The world is a finite place, territory limited. And even ancient vampires are not above vicious turf-wars. What if I told you there's a growing conflict between the remaining three sirelines? Suppose one of them wanted to annihilate the other? By killing Elijah? Rebekah? You?"

Although the idea was rather unsettling, Klaus easily hid it, "So, you came all this way to deliver a warning?"

"Think about it! Kill an Original, wipe out an entire line of competition! A tempting goal, made more so by the fact that your family isn't so intact with each other."

"My family is hardly weak!" Klaus snapped, coming closer to Lucien so that they were face-to-face. "In fact, we are unkillable- the last of the white oak is gone."

Lucien narrowed his eyes skeptically, "Are you so certain it's all gone? Every last splinter of it? Vanished for good?"

Klaus responded by grabbing him from the back of the neck, harshly squeezing it, "Lucien, if you had even the slightest inkling any fragment of white oak still existed, of course you would tell me."

"Easy, Nik," Lucien cleared his throat as he removed Klaus' hand from his neck. "You are my sire. My fate is linked to yours," he reminded the crucial detail, "If you want to know what I do about the dangers you now face, trust me enough to come with me. There is something that you must see."

"I have other places to be at," Klaus stepped back from him, highly suspicious.

"I assure you want to see this," Lucien insisted, motioning to Klaus for them to leave. "It spells your family's ending, and I think that little blonde of yours wouldn't be so happy."

Klaus sighed, once again caving to something that, one way or another, led back to Maleny.

~ 0 ~

Out in the bayou, Elijah was impatiently sitting at the front porch of the cabin with Hope in her stroller, the setting being meant to have been a Crescent wolf reunion due to the full moon. However now it was going to be a life saving night, or at least trying to find Hayley. Suddenly, Freya appeared a couple feet away from him and Hope...but she was not alone.

"Camille," Elijah breathed in as he rose to his feet, awed to have Cami so close after so many months.

Cami looked to the side, clearly uncomfortable being there. "Freya said there were wolf traps out here and you can't find Hayley?"

"Yes," Elijah nodded.

"I'm here for her, Alton and Yamilet," Cami clarified, watching Freya walk to the stroller. "Otherwise, Freya would have had to poison me to get me here. Shall we get going?" she gestured to the trees behind her.

Elijah nodded silently, and soon the two sped off to begin their hunting tasks. Freya sat down on the steps and turned Hope's stroller so that she could see the baby.

"Hello, sweetie," she smiled softly at the almost asleep toddler. "You'll have to excuse your Auntie Freya, I've had a few big-girl drinks tonight."

Hope stretched her small arms over her head as her eyes slowly closed, falling asleep there and then. Freya sighed and looked out to the dark bayou, hoping that all turned out well for the missing Crescent wolves.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah walked into the lonely Mikaelson compound where after shouting for Maleny a couple of times in the courtyard, she was promptly scolded by the blonde witch.

"There is no need to shout," Maleny appeared from one of the downstairs room, holding a cup of coffee in hand.

"You look plain awful," Amarrah declared after a minute and Maleny came to sit down at the couch.

"And it's not from the special drinks I tried tonight, I promise," Maleny sighed and leaned back on the couch, rubbing her temple. "What's wrong, Ams? And where's Cami?"

"Oh, Freya stopped by and said Elijah needed her help in the bayou," Amarrah decided to cut the explanation short.

Maleny raised an eyebrow, looking surprised, "And Cami just said 'yes'?"

"It was urgent," Amarrah coughed awkwardly, hoping Maleny would leave the subject alone.

"Well, did you need something?" Maleny, thankfully, moved on. "I know Klaus was a bit rude to you guys earlier. What exactly were you talking about with him?"

"There's murder case going on and I'm pretty sure it was from a vampire. The guy was compelled not to scream or call for help. He was left hanging like a puppet on strings with his face cut."

"That's awful," Maleny scowled at the idea, "but why come to Klaus? He's not exactly in charge anymore."

"We just wanted to know if he or Elijah had cut loose or something and..." Amarrah motioned what the others has suspected.

"What!?" Maleny leaned forwards, looking indignant of the accusation. "You think Klaus or Elijah did that? Why the hell would they leave the guy out for everyone to see? Plus," she shook her head, "they wouldn't do that. Elijah's refined, sophisticated, it's not like him to be so messy. He barely leaves the place anymore, anyways. And I know Klaus wouldn't do that either. It's not exactly his forte to leave his victims like a doll. It's not them, Ams."

Amarrah sighed, but before she could say she agreed, her phone rang. She pulled it out from her bag and saw it was from the Detective and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Kinney. Wanted to let you know you were right."

Amarrah gulped, "Oh...really?"

"It happened again. So, if you're not busy, I could use your brain."

"Yeah, of course," Amarrah nodded and hung up. Maleny was staring at her, expecting an explanation. Amarrah thought for a minute and decided she should see for herself what was happening. "Can you come with me somewhere?"

"Just as long as there's no more alcohol," Maleny sipped one last time from her coffee cup and got up, straightening her blouse. After getting home she had changed into more comfortable lounge clothes, consisting of a simple blue blouse with dark jeans and boots.

"I promise you there will be none of that," Amarrah mumbled and grabbed Maleny by the arm to lead her away.

~ 0 ~

Cami and Elijah came to a stop in a small clearing in the woods after seeing a steel-jawed animal trap meant for the wolves. Heavily annoyed, Elijah walked for it and began to break it apart as loudly as possible to get the responsible hunters out into the open. After a few seconds, he heard the clicking of a gun behind.

"What the hell are you doing?" the hunter demanded.

Cami and Elijah exchanged a look before Elijah stepped forwards,feigning innocence, "Oh my goodness, where are my manners? Permit me to explain-"

But he quickly sped up to the hunter and snatched his gun before throwing him to the ground.

"Elijah!" Cami turned just as a second hunter appeared.

Elijah used the gun from the first hunter and threw it at the second like it were a javelin, causing the barrel of the gun to impale the chest. Afterwards, he took the first hunter, who'd been trying to crawl away, by the back of the shirt and put him down to the ground.

"Lesson one of the hunt: Lay the bait," he slammed the hunter's foot into another of the traps, making it clamp down on the ankle.

Elijah remained unfazed and merely stepped back, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. Cami, who'd been only standing so far, roughly swallowed down as Elijah met her stare. She felt a chill run down her back as he stepped towards her. She would never admit it to anyone else, and after admitting it to herself she would try and push the thought away, but she felt so attracted to him at that moment.

The only thing that broke her from her embarrassing thoughts were the three laser sights pointing at Elijah.

Cami whirled around to the direction from which they were coming from. "Lesson two," she mumbled and sped off, leaving Elijah to follow.

It didn't take long for them to corner the remaining hunter in another part of the woods. Being closer, Cami grabbed the man by the neck and raised him, angrily glaring.

"You're gonna give me the precise location of every last one of those stupid traps," she warned him, "And we also want the routes used by any of your other men."

"I-I don't know-" the man barely got to say when a different person, a woman, appeared out of nowhere and lunged for him.

Cami stumbled back from such force as the man was tackled out of her grip. The woman clawed and clawed until the man was dead. For a minute, Cami and Elijah could only stare as the man was marred to death. When it was all done, the woman rose to her feet, and with nothing on, she revealed she was a Crescent wolf.

"Yamilet…" Cami breathed in, both relieved and terrified of the woman's conditions.

"Good to see you, blondie," Yamilet greeted with her usual sourness. "I have a question and I expect to be answered with the utmost truth: Where. Is. Alton.?"

"We...we don't know," Elijah replied, currently looking to the side out of embarrassment and courtesy.

Yamilet wad too preoccupied with her missing boyfriend to care who saw her or who didn't. "There's traps set all over this place!" she gritted her teeth, more furious than ever, "If I don't find Alton rest assured this time I will come after all you Mikaelsons with all I have."

Cami cleared her throat and looked down, "We'll find him, we promise."

Yamilet rolled her eyes, no longer so trusting of them all. "Sure," she sneered, "Right after you break this curse, right? Spare me the crap and let me follow the scent of the remaining hunters, no?" she started picking at the hunters shirt, intending on using it as a makeshift dress until she found proper clothes.

Afterwards, she joined the hunting and followed the scent of the remaining hunters - who all died soon after - and came across a truck. Immediately, Yamilet felt her stomach churn as an awful smell penetrated the air.

Elijah went towards it, hesitating a minute to pull the tarp covering the back. But in the end, he chucked it back, and revealed at least half a dozen dead werewolves.

"Oh my God!" Cami exclaimed, horrified at the sight. She and Yamilet rushed towards it, but in the end only Yamilet dared to touch them.

Yamilet began hyperventilating at the idea that one of those wolves could be Alton. Her hands shook as she reached towards her companions, her eyes watering up.

"Alton? Alton!" she whisper-shouted as if someone would respond back.

Behind her, the feeling of overwhelm started washing over Cami and Elijah. Neither of them knew if Hayley was in there as well, and it just terrified them to their core that they were perhaps too late to help them.

Without taking notice, Cami inched closer to Elijah, close to tears herself. Elijah put an arm around her, bringing her to him, but both were too distraught to remember their situation.

~ 0 ~

Maleny was not one to feel comfortable around police crime scenes. She would never understand how Amarrah once decided to willingly do this for a living.

"Detective," Amarrah came up to the blonde man with Maleny coming in a couple seconds behind. "Oh, um, this is my friend," Amarrah gestured to the blonde witch, "She knows a thing or two about these odd cases."

"I do?" Maleny blinked, looking at Amarrah in confusion.

"Detective Will Kinney," the man shook her hand nonetheless.

"Maleny Rowan," she politely said back, feeling awkward in such a different setting. "So, Ams said you found another victim?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Kinney sighed, looking at Amarrah, "And in the same type of position as the first one."

Amarrah nodded and so Kinney began leading the way to where the victim was. "Of the same background as well?" Amarrah questioned curiously.

"Yes, high status," Kinney nodded, turning for another alleyway. This time the victim was just at the corner. It was another man, dressed in a rich suit, and was propped like a puppet.

As soon as Maleny saw it she became horrified. But no less than a second did she began to feel that annoying jab on the side of her head. For a minute, Maleny felt the world around her fade away as two voices in her head became prominent.

...this is sick torture, Tristan…

...as the son of the Count, I do punishments as I see fit….

...it is immoral, inhumane…

...yet you allowed far more immoral things to continue...

After Kinney had left, Amarrah finally took notice of the distant look on Maleny's face. Concerned, she gently shook Maleny by the arm. "Mal? Are you okay?" Maleny snapped out of it quickly but it still took her a moment to remember where she was. "Maleny, what is it?"

Maleny slowly laid eyes on the victim again, her horror and shock replaced by confusion, and...familiarity. "I think...I think I've seen this before," she whispered with nothing but utter dread.

~ 0 ~

Hayley was angrily screaming and pounding against an invisible barrier Davina Claire had trapped her in. It was beyond ridiculous, and infuriating, to be trapped by a witch on the only night she could see Hope.

Davina returned to the room completely at ease, holding clothes in her arms along with other supplies.

"Davina, let me out of here right now, or I swear I will kill you!" Hayley shouted at the teen but it was of no use.

"You can try," she sarcastically motioned, "Or, we can have a polite conversation."

Hayley was in no mood to 'converse', not tonight at least. "You magically kidnapped me on the one night that I can see my daughter. Do not talk to me about "polite!""

Beginning to grow frustrated, Davina rose her voice, "I drew you here to help you!"

"Amarrah and Maleny asked you months ago to help them break the curse, and you said no!"

Davina looked to the side, trying to hide her guilt, "The Regent of witches can't be seen doing favors for the Mikaelsons."

And though Maleny wasn't technically one, she was already branded as one of them. Since she their fallout of bringing Esther Mikaelson back to life, Davina didn't exactly want to do anything for Maleny and her...people. She was still upset with Maleny for having played that foul trick that cost her Kol's resurrection. But now the tables had turned, and she was in need of assistance...just not from Maleny this time.

"But, maybe we can help each other," she looked at Hayley sternly as she tossed a blood bag through the invisible barrier. Hayley threw her a dirty look but feeling the ravenous hunger inside, she dropped to her knees and started drinking from the bag. Look, I have access to the witch ancestors. I can channel the power of the one who created the spell that cursed you. You can be free, Hayley."

Hayley licked the blood that had gotten on her fingers, and slowly rose to her feet. " Under your terms, I'm guessing." Davina sighed, guiltily looking down, but Hayley saw an opportunity she wasn't going to waste. "Spill."

"There's a witch in the 9th Ward who hates that I'm Regent. She tried to kill me. If I retaliate, I'm starting a civil war, and I don't want to do that."

"Fine," Hayley said without a second thought. "Just tell me who you want dead."

~ 0 ~

After finding another wolf turned human - Jackson - who was injured due to a trap, Elijah had them all return to the cabin. It was there that Cami made her choice to leave, as there was the special hour coming up and she needed to be back in the city to oversee 'feeding time'.

"You can't go," Yamilet said, her no voice no longer sour. She was extremely shaken up by the sight of dead wolves, and the fact Alton was still no where in sight wasn't helping her. "You need to help me." She glanced back at Elijah who was tending to the injury on Jackson's leg. "They won't help me," she shook her head, knowing their main priority was going to be Hayley.

Cami could see that happening, since Jackson had no idea where Hayley was. "Okay," she considered, "then come back with me, and...we can get Ams to do a locator spell. If Alton's human and…"

Yamilet's eyes lowered, quietly finishing for Cami, "...alive."

Cami awkwardly cleared her throat, "Um, yeah. If so, then she'll be able to find him. Okay, so come back with me."

Yamilet nodded, glancing back at the other two men, "I'm going with her," she declared to them, "We have five hours until we turn back and I'm not going to waste it on some woman when my boyfriend's out there too."

"Agreed," Jackson got up, "I want Hayley - she's my wife."

"Then we split," Cami looked at Elijah, doing her best to remain rigid. "I have to get back to the other vampires."

"Thank you Camille," Elijah said honestly, "For your assistance."

Cami nodded and gently took Yamilet away with her.

~ 0 ~

"Are we actually doing this?" Maleny paced back and forth in Amarrah's living room while the French witch surfed through the internet and made notes of the murder cases.

"If you meant 'researching the possible murderer' then yes," Amarrah looked up from her laptop with a sly smile. "What's the big deal?"

Maleny stopped pacing to face Amarrah, biting her lip nervously. "You're kidding right? That's the guy that's apparently friends with Klaus. What am I going to tell him? 'Sorry, my friend thinks that your friend is on a killing spree'."

Amarrah rolled her eyes and returned to her work, "To be fair, Klaus doesn't exactly have nice, sane friends."

"Ams," Maleny sighed, plopping down on the couch chair, rubbing a hand over her face.

"Maleny," Amarrah took on a stern voice, "you said this guy, Lucien, just got here tonight - the same night the murders started. That's worth of suspicion. And Klaus doesn't have to know you told me."

Maleny shook her head, resting her arms on the sides as she thought back to those brief memory flashes. She may have been out of it in the beginning, but she was certain they started just when Lucien Castle returned...was that worth of suspicion?

"What do you know of the guy?" Amarrah asked, missing the thoughtful look on her friend's face.

"Hm?" Maleny's eyes flickered to the dark-haired woman, "Um, nothing really. Klaus just said he was a friend - acquaintance, actually."

"Hm," Amarrah mused as she clicked on a link that led to a video that seemed to be about a donation the man had made. "Well, your boyfriend's acquaintance seems to be some rich boy…"

"Yeah, kinda figured that out on my own," Maleny muttered, flushing when she recalled her imprudence during their first greet and meet.

"He's the CEO of some important company - Kingmaker Land Development," Amarrah continued and unplugged her earphones, pulling out the cable so that the rest of the video she was listening to played out loud for Maleny.

"Listen to the advice of your superiors, then do better! Study the weaknesses of those who outrank you and eliminate them from your own experience. Authority is meant to be challenged! Great achievers refuse to stand in shadows."

Amarrah then paused the video, giving Maleny an 'I told you so' look as the blonde grew concerned. "I need to go talk to the Detective," Amarrah got up and stuffed her laptop in her bag, "I won't tell him anything, maybe just...sidetrack them for a while until you get Klaus to do something about this new friend of his."

~ 0 ~

Freya had gone back to her club as soon as Elijah had returned for Hope. Even though she was still partially drunk, she was relatively surprised to find Cami entering the place. Upon seeing the blonde witch, Cami walked towards her.

"Didn't think you'd be back," Freya mused as she grabbed her drink from the counter.

"I went for my friends, I found one, and now I dropped her off in a place she can get the help I can no longer provide," Cami said sternly, and looked to the side.

"Mmm, just like that?" Freya arched an eyebrow before taking a full shot of her drink.

"Yes, just like that," Cami rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Freya, "Now, I'm back for business here. It's almost midnight, Freya."

"Well, I'm not wearing glass slippers…" Freya began, but soon realized what Cami was trying to say and groaned, "Do you have to turn the best club in town into your personal blood bank?"

Cami lightly smiled at that, "I know, I used to hate it when I finally learned what really went on in this city. But this is how Marcel used to run things and I'm going to follow in his footsteps. It's how it works. We feed on tourists, compel them to forget, locals turn a blind eye. That's how NOLA works. So, unless you want to become an appetizer-"

Freya raised a hand, "Pass," she pretended to shiver and started on her way out. However, as she went by, she grabbed the hand of a young man and pulled him with her, "This one's coming with me!" she announced and the man went with her without a problem.

~ 0 ~

At the compound, Klaus had already returned from his...interesting...visit to Lucien's apartment, and after getting a notice from Elijah that Hayley was missing, he went straight to find Freya. Finding her no where, he opted for a phone call...of course there was no response.

"Freya, I'm aware that 21st century technology remains a mystery to you, but when you see my name pop up on your phone, you answer it," he left her the voicemail in grave annoyance, "Come home. Immediately."

As he hung up, he heard footsteps from the entrance and dramatically sighed when Maleny came in. "Well, and here I thought you would be resting and getting over your 'special drinks'."

Maleny rolled her eyes, "I did, and then Amarrah came over with the news of murders happening outside. Do you know, she's pretty sure your new friend, Lucien, is responsible for it."

Klaus scoffed, "Your friend isn't exactly the smartest—"

"Hey," Maleny scolded him and dropped her bag onto the couch, pulling her phone from her pocket, "she has evidence and it kinda fits."

"So this is what you did in the meantime I was out? Play detective?" Klaus mused, slightly amused as Maleny handed her phone for him to see.

"I know a thing or two about vampires if you haven't noticed," Maleny motioned him to take a look at the pictures Amarrah had sent to her phone earlier. "Amarrah thinks Lucien is torturing and killing humans in the Quarter. There have been two victims so far and," she sighed, "if you ask me, it's just creepy."

"Lucien would never be so sloppy," Klaus rolled his eyes before taking a look at the pictures of the victim.

Maleny arched an eyebrow, "Hm, seems like you know him a lot more than you've told me. For acquaintances, I mean…"

Klaus was too stunned of the photos to respond back, "There is a familiar method to this particular madness…" he said quietly, the face cutting making him slightly nervous.

"You need to make sure the latest victim is the last one," Maleny took back her phone, seeing the brief nervousness flash through his eyes.

Klaus replaced his nervousness with amusement. "Are you suggest I kill my oldest friend?"

"Ah, so he's a friend now," Maleny raised her eyebrows, feigning surprise. "Well, listen, the NOLA PD can't take down a thousand-year-old vampire murderer, but you can. You're the smartest, and the strongest, and the scariest."

"Are you trying to persuade me...or flirt?" Klaus chucked her cellphone to the couch, turning to her with a smirk as he pulled her towards him.

"I'm not kidding," Maleny sighed but suddenly took a sniff, "Um...you smell like perfume," she declared, tilting her head, "And it's not mine."

"I visited Lucien's new place and he had a party," Klaus began but Maleny pulled herself away from his embrace.

"Look, I know you let me threaten you because I can't actually do anything, but it is upsetting when you deliberately try to get women's hands on you," Maleny crossed her arms and looked to the side.

Klaus chuckled in amusement at the blonde. "I assure you nothing was deliberate," he took her hands and gently brought her back to him. She huffed and turned around, giving him her back. "Mal…"

"Don't 'Mal' me," the blonde muttered, "Go get your murderous friend to stop. Next thing we know, I could be the next victim."

Klaus slid his arms around her waist, both amused yet still serious enough to assure her, "If anyone would even consider that, they wouldn't live to see the morning."

Maleny turned her head to meet his look, pleased to hear his response. "Nice to know I'm cared for here."

"Always, my love," Klaus pressed a kiss to her lips, relaxing when Maleny returned the kiss. Although he was basically suspecting of Lucien himself now, he didn't want Maleny anywhere near Lucien, nor researching information on the man. The last thing he wanted was for Maleny to learn of the part of his past Klaus didn't think she was ready to hear, nor one he was ready to tell.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah and Yamilet, who was now properly changed into Amarrah's borrowed clothes, walked down the street in a heavy rush. After Cami had brought Yamilet to Amarrah's, the French witch performed the locator spell on Alton and found a peculiar result across the Quarter. They didn't know if Alton was trying to get to them, or perhaps was lost, or thinking that Yamilet herself had been killed in one of the wolf traps, but they had to get there. Unfortunately, they stumbled across a new crime scene.

"What is going on in this place?" Yamilet muttered to the witch beside her, having been told by Cami of the two earlier murders. "Wasn't Cami supposed to be taking care of the Quarter now?"

"This isn't her fault," Amarrah shushed her as she saw Detective Kinney making way for them.

"Who's that?" Yamilet eyed the blonde man with mild appreciation.

"You have a boyfriend," Amarrah hissed. She didn't exactly want to run into Kinney at the moment seeing her laptop with all her notes on the case had mysteriously gone missing after seeing him last time. She didn't understand how it could have gotten away from her, but it had and she felt overly irresponsible because of it.

"Amarrah?" Kinney came up to the two women wearing a polite smile, "Miss," he nodded to Yamilet.

"Look, I know I'm supposed to be helping," Amarrah sighed, glancing at Yamilet, "but my friend really needs me right now."

"Actually, Ams," Yamilet looked between the two, getting the feeling the man was staring at them a little too suspiciously, "I can go get Alton on my own."

"What?" Amarrah blinked, "But we need to go together. I want to help you-"

"And you have," Yamilet assured with a small smile, "But, um, there's only a couple of hours left until, I, um…" she made a clawing motion to remind of the full moon passing, "...so maybe it's best I start heading out on my own."

Amarrah sighed, "Okay, but be careful. And I will find a way to...help...both of you."

Yamilet nodded, "Good," she meant to so sound authoritative and chuckled, giving the French witch a hug before leaving.

Amarrah watched her go feeling mildly guilty before facing Kinney. "So, what exactly do I do this time?"

Kinney glanced over his shoulder in the way Yamilet walked off in, and responded with a different topic. "You know, I've seen you in town before...with the two blondes - Camille O'Connell and Maleny Rowan. Thing is, the O'Connells have an unusual history with strange deaths, unexplained behavior, grave-robberies, be-headings, missing persons, police reports with entire sections blacked out. Now she's acting like she's the boss…"

By the time Kinney finished, Amarrah was stunned that he had all that knowledge about her good friend.

"And then your other friend," Kinney chuckled a little, "-the irony- has no background whatsoever. No history in the Quarter - she just popped out of nowhere. Only detail available, and only because we can see, is the fact she's with the mysterious philanthropist-slash-artist Klaus Mikaelson. And then you, you just...came out of no where, much like Miss Rowan. Highly praised Detective coming in yet doing no such thing to get herself on the force here as well…?"

Amarrah gaped with an open mouth, "Um, so...what is this? Some sort of accusation I make weird friends and don't work on what I studied to be?"

"No, I just think you three women are a lot more than you're giving off to the public. There's something you're hiding, and I'll figure it out."

"O-okay," Amarrah blinked, still quite out of it after all she heard. She watched the man walk away from her and became nervous. She worried that the man could get himself into trouble over a simple curiosity.

~ 0 ~

Much later, Freya returned to the compound with her new friend she had picked up from the club. It didn't take much to get to the making out part in the courtyard. Of course, Freya didn't count on her brother to come in and interrupt.

"Freya!" Klaus appeared a couple feet from them, unusually bright, "It's about time you brought a gentleman home to meet the family." He stepped towards the young man, "I'm Freya's brother. And you are? No, don't tell me. Let me guess- Brad?"

There came a giggle from upstairs, where Maleny was residing, "Try Chad, they're always called Chad in the movies."

Klaus pointed to her in agreement and continued, "What are your intentions for my sister? Shall we discuss a dowry?"

The poor human man was terrified when Klaus let his hybrid-eyes came out. "Bro, what the...?"

"Leave. Now," Klaus ordered, momentarily serious.

Maleny laughed when the man ran out in terror. "And the award for 'most annoying little brother' goes out to…" she gestured towards Klaus, who only laughed more.

Freya, meanwhile, gave them both a playful scolding look.

"He was drunk! No one will believe his story," Klaus gave her a smirk.

"You two can make out at every corner of the house but you make the first guy I bring home run away," Freya sighed, only lightly annoyed.

"You can still catch him outside," Maleny called as she came down the stairs. "He was kinda cute." At the sharp look Klaus gave her, she reminded, "Unknown perfume still on you."

"I thought we went past that…"

"I may have forgotten a lot of things but not that one."

"Was there something you two actually needed?" Freya cut into the looming argument, "Or did you just plan this little skit while I was gone?"

Maleny took a sigh and nodded, "We need you to perform a locator spell. Hayley's missing. I don't trust myself without anyone with me."

Freya smiled, "You are more than capable of performing that on your own."

"But seeing it's Hayley out there, we didn't want to take a risk," Klaus said that time, exchanging a worriedly look with Maleny. Both knew Hayley was still raging of what had been done to the wolves and honestly weren't excited over this disappearance.

"'ll need the best connection to Hayley. You'll have to wake Hope," Freya announced sadly, hoping to God there would be no more fighting tonight.

After bringing Hope downstairs and using her for the spell, Freya got straight to work and searched for Hayley. However, she only practice for about a minute before she gasped and abruptly stopped.

"I can't find her," she said quietly, eyes looking over the map before her. "There's nothing- ... It's like she doesn't exist."

"...Or she's dead," Klaus offered another, very plausible, idea, not too pleased.

"No! No. No!" came the voice of a distressed Jackson who rushed inside, 'You have to find her."

"You're here…" Maleny blinked, slightly alarmed.

"Where is Hayley!?" Jackson plainly ignored her and demanded from Freya, whom had tried to do the spell again.

"She's...she's not coming up," Freya shook her head after coming up with the same results. "I don't know what's happening."

Before Jackson could say anything back, he doubled over in pain. Realizing he was turning back into a wolf, Freya stopped her spell.

"Klaus, the chains!" she exclaimed.

Klaus handed Hope to Maleny and rushed to retrieve the chains. But even as Jackson went through the pain of the changing, he continued to plead for Freya's help.

"Freya, please! Please do the spell again!"

Freya glanced back at the table, knowing there wasn't anything else she could that would work. Hayley would not come up anymore, the reason why still such a dread to them all. Klaus returned with the chains, and dragged Jackson to a threshold to chain him up.

"I can't go a month withou- AHH!" Jackson screamed, doubling over again.

Suddenly, he stopped. There was no more pain, no more bone snapping. The changing...stopped.

"It stopped…" Jackson said after a while, much in awe as the others.

~ 0 ~

Much later, Davina looked away the special candle that was to keep Hayley and her pack from changing back to wolves. With a normal lock and a magical one, no one would be able to get through to it but her.

When she turned around, she came to find Marcel coming in. "There's a problem," he sighed.

He led the young teen towards a café shop, specifically the one belonging to Karen Nguyen, the very woman Hayley was sent after. Davina was petrified to see dozens of smoldering, ashen corpses lying in a pile over the patio. There were already other witches, loved ones of the dead, crying over the corpses.

Cami appeared beside them, startling Davina, as the two hadn't exactly spoken out of the faction meetings. But of course, this was part of business.

"There's eleven bodies," the blonde said, "a lot of pissed off loved ones. They thought it was a vampire thing, but all our guys are accounted for at the Abattoir."

Davina gulped as they watched the son of Karen Nguyen, Van, appeared at the scene and discovered his mother was one of the victims. That wasn't what Davina had wanted, at all, and now she had caused a massacre.

~ 0 ~

As Maleny placed down Hope in a playpen, Klaus took out his phone to dial for Lucien's number as they had agreed. "Put it on speaker," Maleny said calmly, her back to him as she made sure Hope was fine. "I want to hear what he says about it."

Though Klaus wasn't too fond of the idea, he did as she wished.

"I taught you better than to leave your leftovers in the street!" he began as soon as the line had been picked up, "My streets."

It sounded as if Lucien was a little out of it. "You'll have to elaborate, mate."

"Two bodies were found sporting rather memorable lacerations. Are you exorcising your demons by carving up the innocents of New Orleans?"

Lucien laughed weakly, "Oh, your family is full of unfounded accusations today. And if I was the culprit, why would you care? We used to make fantastic messes together."

Maleny turned to Klaus, giving him another suspicious stare, questioning him over Lucien's last words.

Klaus ignored her as best he could, for her eyes - while shiny and entrancing - could be very ominous and raging. "There is a delicate balance in this city. There are rules."

"Ah, and people you care about. You can't afford to have weaknesses like that right now."

Maleny crossed her arms, further displeased of what she was hearing.

Klaus promptly looked away from her, knowing he would be paying for that one tonight. "Speaking of weaknesses, there is a wolf chained to my wall who claims he took a chunk out of your arm. Come see me. I'll give you my blood in exchange for your word that the killings will stop."

"I'm afraid your family dog missed the mark, friend. Barely a scratch. No venom breached the skin."

"You listen carefully, friend - my city has enjoyed months of relative peace. If that peace is in any way disrupted, the next gruesome murder will be yours!"

"Now there's the Klaus I know," came the amused response of Lucien before hanging up.

With a heavy sigh, Klaus put away his phone. As soon as he looked back to Maleny, she was already in front of him, staring at him in mild irritation. "So, I'm just a weakness, then?"

"Lucien has a way with words that—"

"Mhm, nice story," Maleny cut him off, patting his arm, "You know, I'm starting not to like this 'acquaintance' of yours. He's making you lie an awful lot."

"Mal—"

"Find me in my room when you can get your stories straight."

Maleny gave him a smirk as she walked past him out the door. She wasn't actually angry, but she was mildly annoyed Klaus couldn't just tell her what was the deal with this Lucien Castle guy.

~ 0 ~

The night had almost passed and as it did, Jackson remained chained in case he would suddenly revert back to a wolf. But when he saw the changing didn't happen, and the sun had come out, he was angry the chains hadn't been removed and that Hayley hadn't yet appeared.

Freya stood a couple feet from him, awkwardly trying to see if she could help him in any way that didn't involve a locator spell or taking the chains off. "Can I get you some water, or... something?"

"Let me out!" Jackson ordered, yanking on hid chains, "It's dawn, I haven't turned back yet. It doesn't make any sense. I need to find Hayley."

Freya sighed and came towards him, placing her hands on his chest, using her magic to try to decipher what was going on. "I can still feel the curse in your blood. Something's restraining it, but you could transition at any moment."

However, Hayley appeared and shoved the poor blonde witch into a nearby column that temporarily knocked her out. Jackson gaped at the sight of his wife covered in blood from head to toe.

"Where the hell is that bastard?" Hayley panted in rage as she sniffed out the two culpable people that kept her away from Hope. Getting the scent of one of them, she backtracked and saw someone coming down the stairs in a hurry.

"Freya?" Maleny was calling, having heard a funny noise from upstairs she hurried to see if Jackson was still his human self. "Freya-" unfortunately, she got herself entangled into something worse - an angry mother. "Hayley!" she gasped as the brunette hybrid sped up to the stairs.

Hayley grabbed her in a choke-hold, harshly pinning her against the staircase rail. "Do you have any idea what you have taken from me?"

Maleny was well aware Hayley was leaning her farther over the rails and for a minute became alarmed. Someone in anger was bound to do horrible things. "Hayley, you need to calm down—"

Hayley shook the blonde violently, "Don't you dare tell me to calm down after months of being cursed!" she squeezed Maleny's neck, causing the blonde to gasp for air. "You took Hope from me you—"

"Hayley!" Maleny sputtered, her frail hands trying to claw Hayley's off her.

"How could you!?" Hayley kept squeezing, knowing it would only take a quick snap to instantly kill the blonde.

During her distraction, Klaus appeared from upstairs and shoved her down the stairs, and would've done more if he was not more preoccupied with Maleny's condition. Maleny violently coughed as the air filled her lungs again. Klaus grabbed her forth, quickly checking to see if she was alright. She only had the growing red marks from Hayley's hold but she was going to be fine.

"You want to fight, fine, but be a little more decent and come after one that can give one back," Klaus turned to Hayley, missing Maleny's momentary irritated look for his comment. "Do not ever attempt to do that again."

Hayley picked herself back up, glaring at both. "All I see are the two people that took my daughter away from me."

"Klaus, don't—" Maleny barely got to say when Klaus sped downstairs to start the fight she had foolishly prayed wouldn't ensue. "Stop!"

Hayley roundhouse-kicked kicked him in the face and sent him across the courtyard. She sped up to him and continued to throw punches.

Maleny hurried down the stairs and saw Freya waking up, as well as Jackson breaking his chains and setting himself free. "No!" she exclaimed, causing Freya to look over and see what was happening.

She cast a spell that kept Jackson back and away from the fight.

"Let me go! He'll kill her!" Jackson shouted, both angry and fearful for Hayley.

"He'll kill you!" Freya snapped.

"I'll get them to stop," Maleny muttered and turned back for the courtyard, catching sight of Elijah coming in and trying to intervene. "STOP IT!" she screamed so loud it managed to draw attention, but only for a couple seconds. She sighed and looked all around, seeing Elijah helplessly trying to stop his brother and Hayley, while Freya struggled to hold Jackson back with her spell.

Exasperated beyond all doubt, she drew on her magic, and caused everyone in the scene to get aneurysms. She waited until everyone was down on their knees before she stopped.

"You're all terrible people," she said afterwards, looking worse for wear herself. That amount of power cost her some energy but she was not going to let anyone get hurt, or accidentally die.

"You're one to talk," Hayley spat as she stood up, still glaring daggers at her.

Maleny rolled her eyes, passed from the apologetic, guilty phase. "Oh shut up, you're no innocent dove yourself my dear."

Hayley's hybrid eyes came out and she sped up to Maleny, raising her head as if to show her superiority over the blonde. Not a minute later did Klaus cut in-between the two, pushing Hayley away.

"No, Klaus, let her," Maleny went around him, heavily nervous but more than ready to speak what she had to say. "I'm not going to hide behind you." But still, Klaus didn't move and kept his protective stance against Hayley. Maleny sighed, but figured if Hayley didn't move Klaus wouldn't either and therefore she began her rant. "You're a hypocrite," she declared, only provoking Hayley's hybrid side to re-emerge and step towards her.

"Excuse me?" Hayley arched her eyebrows, "You curse me and I'm the hypocrite here?"

"First of all," Maleny stepped towards her as well, "It was Dahlia who sprung the curse out of nowhere. We didn't plan it!"

"Right, on a plan neither of you thought to share?" this time it had been Jackson who made a response.

"There was no time!" Klaus snapped at him, "Or did you forget you were already midway out of the bayou with my daughter? On the run?"

"We had to get her away!" Hayley exclaimed, "Your family was only hurting her!"

"That's a crappy excuse and you know it," Maleny accused and endure the glare sent her way.

"You can make up excuses all you want, Maleny, but I was only trying to do what was best for her," Hayley frowned. "You two," she pointed at Maleny and Klaus, "took her away from me. You are cruel, and murderers of the very wolves that would have laid their lives for Hope. You took my daughter from me!"

"So. Are. You," Maleny calmly said, bitterly laughing at the accusations and angered Hayley more. "In fact, no one here in this bloody place is innocent. You're a hypocrite for trying to make it seem so."

"What the hell—"

"Or have you told anyone of the massacre you caused over in the witches' territory?" Maleny's questioned left Hayley silent for a moment, and confused the others due to their lack of knowledge of the subject. Maleny smirked at the brunette hybrid. "Thought I didn't know about that? That's what happens when your friend is the leader in the Quarter now. I don't know how you did it, but I'm sure Davina was the one that brought you back and in exchange for a curse delayment, you killed those people. And don't even deny it because all the evidence points to you. You claim we're the evil ones but you're no better. You killed people's' parents and that was on purpose. That was your goal." She then turned back and pointed at Jackson. "And taking Hope and Hayley from where they belonged was your idea in the first place. You were going to take a little girl's father from her. And," she sighed and pointed her finger at Freya, startling the blonde witch that she was now next, "you killed your mother and we never even touched on the subject, but when Klaus did the same to Mikael everyone went nuts. And Elijah," she sourly smiled, "you daggered your brother after taking a decision that did not belong to you. Klaus," she turned to him, "you killed your father, brought back your mother only to be killed hours later. And as for myself, I ensured Kol remained on the other side where he's probably being tortured daily by the spirits of New Orleans as well as letting my friends suffer in a curse I couldn't solve. So," she finally returned her gaze back to Hayley, daring Hayley to challenge her again, "is there any other bloody detail you want to discuss concerning loyalty and innocence?"

Hayley swallowed hard, suddenly all the rage and insults she had thought of gone from her mind. She hadn't quite counted on being put on the spotlight like that, a thought everyone else shared with her.

Maleny deeply sighed, "That's what I thought," she said rather irritated herself. "No one is innocent here. Now, I do apologize for what happened, because that was no where near what we had planned. But we would never take away your daughter from you. Or are you forgetting how someone took mine from me centuries ago? Hope is upstairs, and she does know you love her. But mine? My son has made no contact with me, nothing to show that he's coming. Maybe he's not coming back, maybe he's…" she looked down, the realization finally setting over her shoulders, "...he's over the fact he had parents in the first place. Go see Hope, she's up there, napping."

Being uncomfortable was the last thing Hayley pictured when thinking of returning to the compound. But, she was, and she didn't quite know what to do.

"Go!" Maleny exclaimed, her voice abruptly breaking.

Hayley rushed to go see her daughter upstairs, Jackson quickly following her. Everyone else felt the thick sense of guilt, and melancholy for their previous actions.

After a minute, Klaus went for Maleny, "Let's—"

Maleny shook her head, "I think I just want to be alone for a while." He agreed with a small nod, and only because he saw her weariness from lack of sleep finally catching up to her. Rubbing her sore neck, Maleny walked for the stairs, ignoring the looks she received from all three siblings.

Once she was gone, Freya spoke up, and not pleased herself. "That was nothing of what I was expecting," she admitted with a long sigh.

"Yes, Maleny has always had a way of pointing out our faults without being rude about it," Klaus sighed as well, unlike the others not as surprised of what happened.

"I still believe perhaps we can cut the tension by allowing Hayley and Jackson to have their own space," Elijah suggested, immediately receiving a hard look from Klaus. "Hayley has missed many months of Hope's development, and perhaps this can do well for all. There's a new apartment right across the street, so that Hope would never be out of our hearing-shot."

"I think it would be a good idea," Freya agreed, nodding her head. "Intentional or not, the curse did happen and it did break a lot of families. Let Hayley spend time with her daughter for all that she missed out."

"It's only temporal, brother," assured Elijah, able to see the fear of Hope being, once again, taken flash through Klaus' eyes. Only somewhat on board, Klaus gave the nod and allowed Elijah to go set things up.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah loudly slammed her hand on the top of Kinney's car, startling the man into looking away from the radio. She was unamused, irritated, and frankly indignant. "I've been meaning to talk to you about my missing laptop and notes?" Kinney shot her a wide smile, almost amused with her. That only infuriated Amarrah, "You think this is funny? I could report you for that."

Kinney raised a hand and with the other handed her back her laptop. "All the interesting stuff was password-protected, but I knew Vincent wouldn't just pull you in for kicks."

"He wanted Cami, not me," Amarrah clarified blankly, upholding her annoyed face.

"But he brought you in nonetheless and I doubt he did that because 'there was no one else'. He knew you knew your stuff. You're not an amateur."

"I would thank you for the comment but I'm kinda of upset with you if you haven't noticed."

Kinney smiled smugly as he got out of the car. "I finished up the end of that video you were watching. Lucien Castle? Highly motivating. Feeling like my best self already."

Suddenly Amarrah's annoyance vanished from her face and was replaced with due concern for the man. That was exactly what she wanted to avoid. "Nothing's concrete, I was just...looking into the new tourists that came in yesterday," Amarrah swallowed hard.

"And the brief notes on him?"

"Just...brief. It's nothing set on stone."

Kinney stared long and hard at the French woman before warmly smiling. "You could very well report me but you haven't, because you know I was right about your family. You're not a suspect, Amarrah. I'm actually looking out for you. I think you're mixed up in something much bigger than you realize."

Amarrah would've scoffed at such irony if she was conversing with anyone else. "Trust me, I realize." She was going to add more onto that when she heard snippets of the radio from inside the car. "Wait…" she turned to the car, "Turn up the radio…"

Confused, Kinney reached inside and did as she wanted. As soon as he did, they both heard announcements over the murders.

"While police refuse to release information, sources allege that a manhunt is on for a possible serial killer. Two violently mutilated bodies entirely drained of blood have been recovered..."

"How the hell did they know about the blood?" Kinney anxiously, and beyond confused, looked at Amarrah, the witch unable to come up with anything herself.

~ 0 ~

Back at Lucien's apartment, he had the very journalist behind the newest article that consisted of all the murder details. He took a glass of blood from her and headed into his bedroom, leaving the journalist to look over her article for a while.

He meant to return the briefcase that consisted of ingredients he used to cure himself of Jackson's bite, but became distracted by a leather-bound journal in the trunk. He picked up the journal and opened it up to the same page he always did when he came across it. Even though the drawing was over a thousand years old, he firmly believed the drawing of Cecilia de Ark remained as beautiful as she had been in her time. But then came the memories of her tragic ending, and he felt the fury that he had felt on that day...and never ceased to disappear completely. Those who caused her death would have their ending, and very soon.

~ 0 ~

Freya walked into the lounge room with an ice pack in hand, and found Elijah nervously pacing back and forth. "Dare I ask what's wrong now?" she sighed, slightly amused.

Elijah eyed the iced pack for a minute, when Freya gestured to her bruised forehead, and he dismissed it. "I received some unsettling information from Lucien Castle. I don't trust the source, but I... trust you."

Freya nodded, and in the next couple of minutes she had him and Klaus downstairs in the courtyard, preparing a spell that consisted of Klaus' blood and several other herbs.

"If you fed on this prophetic witch, her blood is still in your system. If there's a weapon that can kill you, we need to know," Freya lighted a tall, black candle and placed it on the center of the table where it would be surrounded by other small, lite white candles. She grabbed the bowl with Klaus' blood and put it down in front of three strips of papers with Norse runes on them, meant to have the names of the three remaining Originals.

Nervously, Freya dunk her fingers into the bowl, thus beginning the spell. "No mentre le prophecie que la otra ve. No mentre le prophecie que la otra ve."

As soon as she did, she felt the overwhelming power curse through her body. Her two brothers became concerned when blood began oozing from her right ear. She chanted louder, and more aggressively, but as she did more blood appear came from her other ear, and nose.

"Freya, stop!" Elijah reached out for her but Freya was now in depth with the visions of the -so-called prophecy.

She saw Elijah's painting that hung in one of the rooms being splashed with blood, as well as a beast with large, long and sharp fangs roaring and blaring out bloody teeth.

Out of the nowhere, the three strips of paper burst into flames. Freya came back, gasping deeply and opening her eyes. Although the flames slowly died out on their own, Freya looked worse for wear.

"It's true," she said grimly, "You have a terrible shadow over you. Rebekah, too. If this prophecy is fulfilled, you will all fall. One by friend, one by foe, and one...by family."

~ 0 ~

New York

A young woman with straight, long black hair, finely dressed and wearing black, rounded sunglasses, walked into a diner, momentarily scanning the area until she spotted the person she came in for. She walked towards a booth where a young man was sitting. She glanced over a map settled on the table, and the laptop sitting in front of the man.

Upon seeing her, the young man smiled and motioned her to sit across him, "I'm glad you came."

"You knew very well I was on my way back to England," the woman berated him in a thick English accent, but smiled widely as if unsurprised the man had pulled that type of stunt. She pulled off her sunglasses, revealing bright blue eyes behind, and leaned forwards, "So, what was so important you just had to pull me from my jet, Xavier?"

The man, Xavier, chuckled and turned his laptop around, immediately capturing her attention. Xavier smiled proudly then, "Good, huh? I found that a couple hours ago."

"Lucien Castle," the woman breathed in, "What about him!?"

"It seems like he's donated a large amount of money to clean up a bayou, near…" Xavier drew out the word as he went to the map of the United States, pointed to the spot of New Orleans, "...here."

"Really? And you're telling me because…?"

"Well, over the last year or so, there have been reports of strange disappearances, and fights in the French Quarter. And now suddenly the old vampire Lucien is heading over there? Why?"

The woman's eyes widened, the delight pouring from her eyes, "You think, that...he's there?"

The man smirked and gave a nod, "I am willing to bet my life that if you were to go there, you would find Klaus Mikaelson."

[megabadbunny]

Of Turns and Tides (Or: One Time The Doctor Was A Giant Arse About Rose's Pregnancy, and Five Times He Wasn't)

Because I don't necessarily think Rose and the metacrisis Doctor would have any children, but if they did, I can't imagine it would go quite the way it's portrayed in The Turning of the Tide. SFW version on FF.net.

Also this fic is dedicated to @davinasgirlfriend​​, whose patience with me is a blessed fucking virtue. Go read her stuff. She's an absolute doll. <3 <3 <3

***

0.

 It’s not like they weren’t careful—Rose has got her shot, after all, and honestly after everything the Cannon put her through, she’s sort of surprised everything still works in there, reproductively-speaking—but it’s just her luck that he would have some sort of Time Lord supersperm in addition to everything else.

“I’m pregnant,” she replies when he asks, in that sometimes-perfunctory way of his, how she’s doing this morning, amidst the bustle of making his tea and his toast and poring over the reports streaming into his mobile. He’s fully dressed (of course he is, bloody morning person) but Rose is still in her pyjamas (if one qualifies one of the Doctor’s tee shirts as her pyjamas, which she does), watching him as he drifts about with his eyes glued to his phone. Rose sits very still, clutching the pregnancy test, has been ever since it cheerfully gave her its diagnosis a few moments prior, and she’s trying not to think about how gross it is, really, that she’s more or less sitting at the kitchen table with a wee-stick in hand, even if it is dry by now. She reminds herself to scrub off extra hard in the bath, give everything in the kitchen a good solid wipedown later.

“How about you?” Rose asks, tapping the test nervously against her thigh.

The Doctor nods. “Good, good,” he says, in a way that very much suggests he is not listening to her even a little bit.

“I went ahead and scheduled an appointment in a couple days, to see how far along things are,” says Rose. “Maybe about seven weeks, going by my period.”

“Mm-hmm, excellent, excellent.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to start having regular checkups and such.”

“Uh-huh.”

“To make sure everything’s going like it should.”

“Well, naturally,” the Doctor replies, staring at his mobile.

“You know. With the pregnancy.”

“Of course.”

“Yep,” Rose says mildly, throwing up her hands. “Not every day you give birth to a lizard, after all. Did I tell you I volunteered for the lizard-mother-surrogate program in Chiswick?” 

“Mmm.”

“Yeah, it’s been in the works for a few years in this universe, human-lizard surrogacy. Big market for it over here. Mum’s had six. Pete’s in line next. Just lizards, lizards all over the place. Like Biblical-plague levels,” Rose continues, staring at him. “It’ll be toads next. I guess I should have asked which you prefer. Would you rather have a lizard or a toad in the nursery, Doctor?”

“Yes,” says the Doctor.

Sighing in frustration, Rose waits. She waits and watches the Doctor as he pulls the toast from the pan (too hot, he burns his fingers on the first try but it doesn’t stop him trying again anyway) and pours his tea (and promptly forgets about it) and removes the jam from the fridge (and promptly forgets about that as well) and shoves the unbuttered, un-jammed toast between his teeth before grabbing his coat and calling out an absentmindedly muffled “Meet you at the car!” around a mouthful of food as he darts out the front door.

The flat is, as always, very quiet without him in it.

Rose sighs again, but she only has half a moment to feel deflated before a soft squeal lets her know that the front door is opening again, slowly, this time. She looks up to see the Doctor popping back in, pulling the toast out of his mouth, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“I’m sorry,” he says, hesitantly. “You’re what?”

Rose nods. “Pregnant, yeah.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Well, probably cos it’s true,” Rose replies, holding up the pregnancy test, its reading displayed on the screen for the whole world to see.

“Ah,” says the Doctor. His stare loses focus, fixed on nothing in particular.

Rose waits, forcing herself to be patient. Not to fidget.

“Well, that’s,” says the Doctor, scratching the back of his neck. “That’s. Hmm.”

Rose frowns. “Are you all right?”

“I’m—yes, of course,” the Doctor says, shaking his head and blinking just a little too fast. “Always am. You?”

“I’m a little worried about you, to be honest.”

“Oh, well, no reason to be, everything’s fine,” says the Doctor as he yanks on his coat, struggling to pull his sleeve over a fist wrapped around crumbling toast. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m perfectly all right. Why wouldn’t I be? Everything’s fine. Everything’s dandy. Fantastic. Molto bene—”

Concerned, Rose rises from the table. “Doctor—”

“Only I’m running a tad late, though, so I’ll just—I’ll hail a taxi, shall I, and let you get to HQ on your own time?” says the Doctor, backing away as he shoves the remainders of his toast directly into a coat pocket. “Sounds good to me, practical resolution, useful all around. I’ll see you at work, then, shall I?”

And with that, he takes off running out the door, before Rose can get in another word.

With a great heavy sigh, Rose tosses the pregnancy test in the bin before plonking back down at the table, shoulders slumping. She can’t say she’s surprised by his reactions; it’s all more or less what she expected, or what she would have expected, had she ever anticipated the possibility that things might fare this way. But still. She’d sort of held out hope, in the ten or so minutes since she’d seen that plus flashing across the test screen, that he would be happy. Rose has never felt that deep urgent desire to have children of her own—goodness knows she likes children, and of course she loves Tony, but becoming a mother has just never been an entry on her list of priorities—but now that the very real likelihood of having a child is staring her in the face, Rose finds she’s warming up to the idea quite quickly. The thought of building a family with the Doctor is nice. Rose is surprised by just how nice that thought feels.

It’s less nice to know that he may not feel the same way.

Shaking her head, Rose chides herself. He had a family once before, she knows, and while she may not be privy to many of the details, she’s sharp enough to know he lost them. She can only imagine the sort of scar that would leave, the sort of bone-deep hurt that would haunt a person after something like that. This is probably quite a shock to him, she reasons. He just needs a little bit of time, and space, and support, and then he’ll come around. He always does. Well, he usually does. Well, the jury’s still out on a few items. But she loves him, and he loves her, and that’s what really matters. Right? And in a few moments, Rose will finish washing up and getting ready for work, and when she shows up at UNIT, things may be a little tense and stiff with the Doctor for a little bit, but he’ll relax back into his usual self before either of them knows it. Neither of them can stay awkward or uncomfortable with the other for too long. No reason for this to be any different. But they’ll get to work in their adjacent departments and the Doctor will loosen up and Rose’s nerves will settle and then things will be fine.

Right?

(Except when Rose arrives at UNIT, the Doctor’s not there. No one’s seen him. No one’s heard from him. There’s no sign of him in UNIT at all, not for the rest of the day; texts go unanswered and calls go straight to voicemail. And when Rose returns home that evening, frustrated and bewildered and hurt, the flat is dark and empty, the Doctor nowhere to be seen.

Well. Fuck.)

 **

 Despite the low background hum of panic buzzing nonstop at the back of her brain, Rose does a marvelous job of not-vibrating-out-of-her-skin-with-anxiety during the next several days, in which the Doctor deigns to make precisely zero (0) appearances. In fact, she does such a marvelous job, it doesn’t even occur to her to jump when he bursts in on her obstetrician’s appointment without warning.

“Doctor,” Rose says amidst the sounds of Jackie’s indignant “Oi, what do you think you’re doing, barging in like that?” But the Doctor ignores them both, proceeding immediately to the nurse’s clipboard where she left it, flipping through the notes with an intensity that borders on the manic.

Rose knows she should feel relief at seeing the Doctor here, now; he may look a bit pale and wan beneath the fluorescent lights, his scruff a little longer than usual, perhaps a little less kempt, but he’s safe, he’s not injured, he didn’t get himself into some kind of stupid trouble, somehow. (Didn’t run away, didn’t just leave her here. Not that she’d ever entertained such a worry. Except when she did.) But once the tide of anxiety ebbs, Rose realizes what she feels now is mostly anger.

A lot of anger.

“And where the hell have you been, eh?” Jackie demands; in lieu of a reply, the Doctor reaches into his pocket for his spectacles, slipping them on as he pores over the nurse’s paperwork.

Rose stares stonily at the Doctor as Jackie tuts with impatience. “Hey, mister. I asked you a question—”

“Height’s off,” announces the Doctor, procuring a pen so he can write over the nurse’s notes with his own. “Too short by 2.3 millimeters. Weight’s off, too, missing a quarter-kilogram or so, they really should get their scales fixed. And the age listed doesn’t account for the disparity between time rates in your original versus current universes. Incompetent twenty-first century medicine,” he adds under his breath. “Might as well be living in the Stone Age.”

Rose’s jaw clamps so tightly she’s surprised she doesn’t crack any molars. With a huff, Jackie reaches for the clipboard, but the Doctor backs away out of reach without even looking. “Don’t they even test for Hepatitis B surface antigens in this universe?” he scoffs.

“No, cos we haven’t got any of the Hepatitises in this universe, have we?” snaps Jackie. “And none of this is any of your business anyway, not until you apologize to Rose for up and disappearing on her. How long’ve you been gone, now, without so much as a word? Three days? Four? I mean really, how could you do that to her, putting her through the wringer like that? And right after she tells you she’s pregnant, too!”

“Yes, yes, I’m very sorry,” says the Doctor absently with a dismissive wave of his hand, his gaze still fixed on the clipboard in front of him, “but we’ve got more pressing things to attend to, so let’s just go ahead and get this over with, shall we?”

“Get what over with?” asks Jackie, as Rose’s fists clench the examination table beneath her, the pleather squeaking under her fingernails. “No,” Jackie continues, pointing an accusatory finger at the Doctor. “Until you apologize to Rose—and I mean apologize properly, you daft alien twat—the only getting you’re doing is out. So send in the actual physician,” she snarls, and now her finger is jabbing toward the door, “and then get out.”

“No can do,” quips the Doctor as he darts away to rummage about in the room’s cabinet-drawers. “Your so-called actual physician’s gone home for the day—seems someone might have hacked his calendar and reassigned his last patient today to one visiting Dr. James C. Noble, a.k.a, me.”

The Doctor ignores Rose’s eyes widening in alarm and Jackie’s splutter of indignation as he pulls out a stethoscope and drapes it about his neck. “And as you know, your actual physician is booked rather full right now,” he continues, withdrawing a blood-pressure cuff and other assorted equipment. “So if you want your checkup done any time in the next three weeks, here’s your one and only opening.”

Hands balled into fists, Jackie draws a deep breath and opens her mouth to hurl forth what will be, undoubtedly, a scathing stream of insults and outrage in an eruption that would put Mount Vesuvius to shame, but she stops when Rose places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Mum,” says Rose, with a calmness she certainly does not feel. “Would you give the Doctor and me a few moments, please?”

Jackie’s mouth clamps shut as she glances between Rose and the Doctor, lips twisting in disapproval. The Doctor either can’t meet their gazes, or he won’t. Just as well; if eyes could truly shoot daggers, Jackie would be gutting the Doctor right about now.

“Mum,” says Rose again, softly, and Jackie relaxes a little, though she’s still eyeing the Doctor with a healthy amount of disgust.

“All right, sweetheart,” says Jackie with a sniff. “But don’t let him off too easy, yeah? You let someone hurt you like that once, they’ll just keep doing it. And you deserve better than that.”

Her eyes flicker meaningfully toward Rose’s belly. “You both do,” Jackie tells her, and sweeps out of the room with a flounce and a huff.

It’s just Rose and the Doctor in the exam room, now. The quiet is loud enough to suffocate. But the Doctor still won’t look at her.

“Well, now that that’s all out of the way, shall we proceed?” says the Doctor, snapping on a pair of medical gloves as he steps briskly over to Rose. “See if we can pick up on the fetal heartbeat, take a few other readings—”

“No,” says Rose.

“—and check on your vitals,” says the Doctor, ignoring her as he plugs the stethoscope into his ears and presses the bell to her sternum, through her shirt. “Seeing as they are, you know, vital—” 

“I said no,” Rose tells him, firmly.

“—and naturally, one must always be prepared for all possibilities, like preeclampsia or fibrinogen deficiency or aortic insufficiency, for example,” the Doctor breezes on as if he didn’t hear her, shifting the stethoscope on her chest, “which reminds me, I should order an echocardiogram, just in case. Of course, there’s always the chance it won’t adequately visualize the ascending aorta—”

“Nothing’s wrong with my heart, Doctor.”

“—but even rudimentary tests are better than no test, though an echocardiogram might not be necessary after all, since the auscultation of the stethoscope combined with my superior auditory capabilities means I can probably detect and diagnose any murmurs without visual aid of any sort. However, the added strain of carrying a pregnancy to term could place undue stress on the host’s cardiac system, so one must diligently keep an eye out for any symptoms of myocardial infarction or peripartum cardiomyopathy developing in the patient’s—”

“No,” Rose shouts, smacking the Doctor’s hand away. “God, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

The Doctor’s face is pinched in discomfort and Rose realizes the smack must have been terribly loud for him, amplified greatly by the stethoscope, but she doesn’t much care right this second. Her blood is rushing in her ears and boiling in her veins and her sinuses are so full of pressure from four-days’-worth of unshed tears (because he ran away, she told him she was pregnant and he ran away, he left her, and even if he came back, it still fucking hurts) that Rose feels like her head is going to burst. 

“I’m not some bloody patient,” Rose tells the Doctor, her breathing rough and ragged, “and I’m sure as hell not a fucking host. I’m me. I’m Rose. I’m your partner.” She feels her expression harden. “Or at least I thought I was.”

The Doctor doesn’t reply, the stethoscope-bell still grasped in one hand, the ends still plugged in his ears. His face is carefully blank, now. That just makes Rose even angrier.

“You left,” she tells him. “The second things got a little serious, you left me.”

“I was only gone for ninety-three hours, Rose,” he argues softly.

“Only,” Rose scoffs. “That’s four days I haven’t heard from you, haven’t known if you were dead or alive or hurt or kidnapped or ever coming back—”

“Your faith in me is truly inspiring,” says the Doctor drily, removing the stethoscope so he can drop it on the counter. “Would you have thought any of that about the real Doctor?”

“Don’t you dare,” snaps Rose, springing up from the examination table. “We settled all that ages ago. I know who you are,” she says, jabbing a finger into his chest, “and you do too, and you are not going to drudge up a petty old row from two years back just so you can use it like a shield against me. I’m angry with you, properly angry, and I’ve got every right to be. You got that?”

The Doctor’s expression doesn’t change, except that he might purse his lips a little in frustration. “Got it,” he says tonelessly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Blinking furiously in an effort to hold back her tears, Rose draws in a deep, steadying breath. “You need to talk to me. You need to tell me what’s going on. I know you don’t want to, but you’ve got to. That’s part of what being a couple is about. That’s one of the rules. One of the biggest.”

A runaway tear rolls down her cheek and Rose angrily scrapes it off with the heel of her palm. “I might not always understand what you’re going through right away, but I’ll always listen. Cos we’re in this together. Right?”

“Yeah,” he replies, his voice clipped.

“Aren’t we?”

A pause. “Yes.”

Another tear escapes and rolls sluggishly down Rose’s cheek, leaving a cold and sticky trail in its wake. Rose doesn’t wipe it away this time, no matter how much she hates crying in front of others (no matter how much she especially hates crying in front of him). “Look at me, please,” she says, her jaw set, and slowly, the Doctor obeys, his eyes meeting hers properly for the first time in days. Only now does Rose notice the dark circles under his raw and red-rimmed eyes; god, he looks tired.

“I know you’ve probably got complicated feelings about all this,” Rose tells him, forcing the words out no matter how much they want to stick in her throat. “And that’s okay. I’m still sorting out how I feel, myself. But you can’t just run away when something’s bothering you, now. Not anymore.”

The Doctor glances away from her.

“Please just talk to me,” Rose says, willing her voice not to tremble. “Just tell me what’s going through your head. Please.”

Eyes sliding shut, the Doctor just exhales, his breath leaving his lungs with a shake. “I don’t…” he starts to say, and stops. He licks his lips nervously. He falls silent. Rose waits for him to try again.

Decades and centuries pass between them.

“I’m not sure how I feel,” the Doctor confesses quietly. “I want to be excited. I want to want this. But I just—I can’t…”

He swallows. “I’m just so afraid. And that fear is drowning out everything else.”

Rose nods, stepping closer to him. “Okay. What are you afraid of?”

The Doctor barks out a harsh laugh. “Is Everything a comprehensive enough answer for you?”

“What’s bothering you, specifically?”

“Really, I should’ve known better, taken better precautions,” the Doctor mutters, more to himself than her, Rose suspects. “I can’t let my guard down, not for anything, not ever. I promised myself I’d never go through any of this ever again. Never again. I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Any of what?” Rose asks patiently.

“Having a family,” the Doctor replies, the words almost choked, like he’s wrenched them out of his chest. “Being a father.”

“You’re afraid of losing your family again.”

“Of course I am,” the Doctor says brokenly. His hands push beneath his specs to rub at his eyes. “Can you really blame me?”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“What difference would it make?”

“Because you’re acting like this is something you’ve got to face all on your own, but you don’t,” Rose tells him stubbornly. “I don’t just need you right now, Doctor. You need me, too.”

The Doctor opens his mouth like he might protest, but Rose doesn’t give him a chance. “You said you want to be excited,” Rose tells him. “Just a minute ago, you said you want to want this. If you take the fear away—easier said than done, I know, but bear with me—how do you feel, underneath all that? Be honest, please. What do you feel when you think of me being pregnant? When you think of us having a family?”

“It isn’t exactly us, though, is it?” the Doctor says, pushing a hand through his hair. “It’d be your body doing all the work. I haven’t got any right to tell you what to do with your body.”

“True,” says Rose, as the ghost of a smile threatens to quirk the corner of her mouth. “But you’re not telling me. I’m asking you.”

She pokes his chest again, halfheartedly this time. “Don’t get used to it.”

The Doctor flashes a weak half-smile her way. “I don’t know, Rose,” he says, and the smile fades like it was never there. “Honestly, it shouldn’t even be possible. It never really occurred to me that this might happen, because it isn’t supposed to. It can’t. Time Lords haven’t reproduced like this for eons. The human DNA shouldn’t be enough to override that basic programming, shouldn’t have been enough to render me anything but functionally sterile.”

He sighs, raking his hands through his hair. “I don’t know. If things were different—if we knew more about the embryonic genetic makeup, if I’d read up more on human-Time Lord crossbreeding when I had the chance, if the TARDIS were full-grown and we had access to anything more advanced than twenty-first century medical equipment, if I felt like I could trust the physicians here properly, if the infant-mother mortality rate wasn’t what it is in this day and age—though I suppose at least we’re not in America, can you imagine?—then I might...”

Shaking his head, he grunts in frustration. “But then I start thinking about how defenseless you’ll be, especially in the later months, and as soon as word gets out, who knows what sort of attention that might attract, everything from overeager paparazzi to potential kidnappers to opportunistic extraterrestrials looking to make a quick buck harvesting rare hybrid children—and that doesn’t take into account anything that could happen to either of you after you’ve given birth, there’s just so much out there that could hurt you, our life together is just so hectic and so dangerous and so much, but even removing those factors from the equation there’s still plenty that’s ready and waiting to kill you right in your own home, and—there are just so many confounding factors, Rose, so many unknown variables, literally anything could happen, and I might not be able to stop any of it, not anymore. And that’s just for the stuff I’m not actively screwing up all on my own—”

“Fine, so don’t go swanning off for days on end next time something freaks you out,” Rose bites back. “That’s half the battle right there.”

“Rose, you’re not hearing me—”

“Yes, I am,” Rose retorts. “You’re scared. Of course you are. I’m scared, too. Anyone with half a brain cell is going to be at least a little bit scared over something like this. So you acknowledge that you can’t control everything, make plans where you can, and learn to roll with the punches where you can’t. You don’t fucking desert the person you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.”

“But I just needed a bit of time, Rose, I never meant—” 

“It doesn’t matter if you meant for it to feel like that or not,” Rose snaps back. “That’s how it felt, Doctor. It was like you left me, after telling me you never would again. After you promised. And it hurt.”

The Doctor doesn’t reply to that, just watches her, mouth working like he wants to argue, but the words won’t cooperate. Tears start welling up again in Rose’s eyes, fat and blurry and thick; the Doctor seems to crumple a little at the sight.

“What if I lose you again?” he asks, defeated. “What if something happens, and I lose you both?”

“I don’t know,” Rose tells him honestly. “But we’re safer together, aren’t we? And better together, too.”

At that, something in the Doctor seems to give way. “Yes,” he agrees, his voice hoarse, his face as open and vulnerable as Rose has ever seen it. “I’m sorry,” he adds.

When Rose can’t make any words come out, too busy fighting back tears, whatever resistance remains in the Doctor seems to drain away and he reaches out to pull her close, wrapping his arms around her like he’s afraid she’ll disappear. “I’m sorry,” he tells her, tightening his hug when Rose starts to shake, unable to staunch the flow of tears any longer. “I’m sorry,” he says again over the sounds of her sobs, muffled against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he repeats, over and over, holding her tight while she cries into his shirt. “I won’t leave again. Ever again. I won’t. We’re in this together. I promise,” the Doctor tells her, holding her close. “I’m sorry, Rose.”

Rose clings to him even harder as she cries.

 **

 They’re both exhausted by the time they climb into bed later that evening (later, but still early, for them), but that doesn’t stop Rose from turning in the Doctor’s arms to press a hungry kiss to his mouth. It’s a claim that leaves no room for question, and even though Rose knows he wants to—We don’t have to, I’ve been an idiot, I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you; she’s heard it all before after a row and she’ll likely hear it all again—the Doctor doesn’t argue. Not this time. This time he meets her kisses in kind, urging her mouth open with his and grabbing her by the chin so he can take bruising control of the kiss.

Relief surges through Rose as he kisses her fiercely, clutching her close. Looks like she’s not the only one who’s starved for comfort tonight.

The Doctor breaks away so he can press a searing-hot kiss to Rose’s jaw, her throat, her collarbone, the swell of her breast. Kissing a line down to her navel, the Doctor hooks his fingers in the waistband of her pants and pulls them off, discarding them; a familiar ache swells between Rose’s legs at the sight of him between her thighs, and she slickens at the sensation of his tongue darting out to taste her, but as delicious as that sounds (and as good as it feels, fuck), it isn’t what she wants right now, isn’t what she needs. She urges him back upward so she can feel the reassuring weight of him pressing against her, his cock stiffening between them, his heart hammering against hers.

They don’t always have time to take their clothes off before sex—two years on, and sometimes the need is still so urgent, they’re too impatient to remove anything but the barest essentials—but tonight the Doctor pulls off his boxer briefs and Rose pulls off his tee shirt and they work together to untangle her from her sleep-shirt and it’s such a fucking relief when they slide together, skin-to-skin, Rose’s nipples scraping sharply against his chest, that Rose can’t help but hum in satisfaction. She needs to feel him, needs to feel all of him, her tongue plunging into his mouth as she wraps a hand around his cock and strokes him hard. He pants against her lips and leans his weight to one side so he can slide a hand between them, his fingers plunging slickly inside her as she grinds her clit against the heel of his palm. It’s only a few moments before Rose is urging his cock inside, wrapping her thighs around his waist and arching needfully upward. She doesn’t give either of them time to adjust, but immediately rocks against him, clenching and rutting and clutching at his back as he thrusts into her, swearing under his breath. It doesn’t take long for the climax to start building low in Rose’s belly so she reaches down between them, intent on urging the Doctor along, but he grabs her hand and pins it to the mattress, her fingers gripped tight and slick between his as she comes with a shout and he follows shortly after.

If there’s something a little desperate in his touch tonight, neither of them mentions it.

 ***

 1.

 After several days and many many hugs and kisses and apologies and promises and two lush bouquets (picked and purchased by the Doctor, one for Rose (for obvious reasons) and one for Jackie (lest she slap him back into the other universe)), Rose is leaving the obstetrician’s office once again, this time having attended a full and proper appointment (also negotiated by the Doctor, as part of his ongoing penance). But this time, when Rose leaves, she’s armed with a series of diagnostics (all of them proclaiming the absolute normalcy of this pregnancy, no matter how the Doctor scrutinizes them) and a couple of recommendations (to up her iron intake, among other things), and her mother is only glaring at the Doctor the usual amount (which is to say, about 25% of the time). With Jackie in the lead, Rose and the Doctor lingering a few steps behind, Rose isn’t half-tempted to make a joke about the Doctor maintaining minimum safe distance from her mum after the events of the other day, but she knows it’s less about that, and more about how aggressively excited Jackie has allowed herself to become, now that the Doctor’s stopped being a giant prat.

(Excited might be an understatement.)

“Oh, sweetheart. This is all so brilliant. I’m so happy for you,” Jackie squeals over her shoulder at Rose, beaming through sparkling tears that threaten to fall and ruin her makeup. “You’re gonna make such a good mum, I just know it! It’s gonna come to you so natural. Well, I mean, there’s books and things to help out with all of that, and they’re good and all, but it’s about instinct, too, and you’ve got that in spades.

“And I absolutely can’t wait to start buying you things. Are you gonna ask about the sex? No, you don’t care about that,” Jackie says dismissively before either Rose or the Doctor has a chance to reply, which is just as well, as this conversation hasn’t actually involved anyone besides Jackie for some time now. “Oh, I do hope the little one likes girly things, though,” she continues. “Lord knows I love your brother, but he’s a bit rough-and-tumble, isn’t he, and I sort of miss all the ruffles and princess things. Don’t get me wrong, he loves a good princess movie just like you did, got all the dolls and stuff, but he’s not much on the dressing-up, and I would just adore the chance to buy some cute little dresses again, and, oh my goodness, Rose, I just can’t believe it, I’m gonna be a grandmum, you’re gonna have a baby—”

Jackie rounds the corner ahead and Rose is surprised to feel a tug on her hand the second Jackie disappears from sight. It’s the Doctor, of course, pulling her back toward him, but when Rose turns to look at him, a question hovering on her lips, he just pulls her gently forward so he can wrap his arms around her, trapping her in a snug embrace.

Her heart pounds in her chest, but not unpleasantly. Emotion swells in her throat as her arms wind back around him, fists clenching in his shirt. His arms tighten around her, almost uncomfortably so. Rose feels rather than hears his breath leaving him, long and slow and measured and just short of reverent. Like a man in prayer. After a moment, he spreads a hand between them, palm over her belly, like it’s just now occurring to him exactly what’s happening, what they’ve started together here, the sheer enormity of it all. He plants a kiss against her head, burying his face in her hair after. Rose tries to remember if she’s ever seen him act quite so tender as this, before.

The moment is over almost as quickly as it begins; soon enough the Doctor is springing away and tugging Rose along by the hand, propelling the two of them toward Jackie, like nothing just happened. But when Rose squeezes his hand (in comfort or solidarity or reassurance; she’s not sure and she’s not sure it matters anyway), he squeezes back, tightly.

“...and oh, do you remember that little garden dress you had once upon a time, the pink gingham with the roses, and the little white patent shoes?” Jackie is saying now, as she waits for the lift in front of them. “You were a vision, Rose. An absolute vision. All the other mums thought so. You were such a pretty little girl. A pretty baby, too. You know how some babies are ugly but no one talks about it? Sort of look like creepy little Gollum types? Well that weren’t you, to be sure. And just look at you now, you’re already glowing and everything, did you know that?” she asks, glancing back at Rose once again with a smile. “Pregnancy’ll do wonders for your skin. Did for me, anyway. Beverly wasn’t so lucky—d’you remember how she puffed up like a walrus, got the eczema all over? Not you, though. You look like one of them Renaissance paintings. Or like an angel, even!”

“Oh my god, Mum,” Rose laughs. “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, someone’s got to say the cheesy things. Lord knows he won’t,” says Jackie, fixing the Doctor with a meaningful stare.

“I’m just waiting for the right moment,” the Doctor replies pleasantly. “As, for instance, the half-second you stop talking long enough to draw breath.”

Jackie flashes a dirty look his way and Rose laughs.

 ***

 2. 

 Everything is proceeding normally for a standard human pregnancy (almost painfully normally, really, even as the Doctor checks and double-checks and triple-checks everything from Rose’s sodium levels to the babyproof latches he’s already installed on all of the cabinet doors to the ambient temperature in each and every room Rose enters because You’re basically a greenhouse, Rose, a greenhouse growing a person instead of plants, and everyone knows greenhouses have to be kept at the optimum temperature in order to flourish), right up to the first day Rose notices her belly, by way of trying to fasten her trousers over it. They do not, of course, fasten, because see above, re: belly.

“Welp,” she says, slouching into the nursery with a sigh. It really is a lovely nursery, if a bit yellow, but the Doctor has insisted that yellow is the optimum color for budding baby TARDISes and larval humans, and this is a hill Rose is perfectly content to not-die-on. “I’m officially getting fat,” Rose announces.

The Doctor tuts in disapproval but doesn’t look up from his task, carefully pruning wayward growths on the TARDIS coral in front of him. “Three additional kilograms hardly qualifies as getting fat,” he says mildly, “although even if it did, and even if you were, it wouldn’t be cause for concern unless there was a non-pregnancy-related underlying health condition we needed to address.”

“Just the condition of my fat,” Rose replies cheerfully.

The Doctor spares his focus just long enough to roll his eyes, the motion even more comical and exaggerated than usual thanks to his work-goggles. “You’re incubating a whole entire person inside of your person, Rose. That’s bound to put on some extra weight on you, even before you start taking into account things like fluid retention and nutrient stores.”

“Fluid retention and nutrient stores. Way to pique a girl’s appetite,” teases Rose.

“Now that you mention it, I am a bit peckish, myself,” the Doctor admits as he works. “What are you thinking? Takeaway? Pizza? Your mum’s fish pie is in the fridge but I’m not certain that qualifies as food so much as kindling.”

Rose chuckles a little. “You really don’t mind?” she asks, scuffing a bare foot restlessly over the floor.

“Not at all. Getting rid of that pie would be doing the world a favor.”

“No,” Rose laughs, the sound more genuine this time. “Not that.”

“What, then?”

“You know. That I’m gonna get all…”

The Doctor piques an eyebrow in suspicion, and rather than risk another lecture by uttering the word aloud, Rose finishes her sentence in pantomime, outlining a large belly in front of her. He stares at her blankly in response, eyes blinking owlishly behind their protective goggles.

Rose sighs. “I’m gonna get big, Doctor,” she says. “Like a big belly. Maybe really big.”

He nods. “Probably. Your point?”

Suddenly unable to look him in the eye, Rose focuses on her foot instead, tracing invisible patterns over the floor. “Just, you know,” she says softly. “Other blokes haven’t cared for it all that much, when I gain weight.”

“That’s because other blokes are idiots,” the Doctor announces, all smiles and bouncy cheer. “Fortunately you’re not stuck in this with any of them,” he continues, pulling off his goggles. “You’re stuck in this with me. And I happen to have very correct opinions about that sort of thing.”

“Oh, yeah?” Rose laughs, something loosening in her shoulders, the release of tension she wasn’t even aware was there.

“Oh, yes,” he says, sauntering over to Rose with his hands shoved lazily in his pockets. “All excellent opinions, each and every one of them. Many of them even backed up by science!”

Rose grins at him. “And when my belly gets so big that I can’t tie my own shoes anymore, or shave my legs?”

“Then we’ll just have to get you shoes that don’t need tying, won’t we? Or I’ll tie them for you. And a hairy leg or two never hurt anyone, but if it would make you feel better, I can always shave your legs.”

“Really?”

He shrugs again. “Really. How hard can it be?”

Shaking her head, her grin broadening until she can’t take it anymore, Rose pushes up on her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. The Doctor lets out a happy little hum against her mouth and his hands leave his pockets to grasp her by the hips, his thumbs tracing a path to the front of her waistband, where the zipper-teeth won’t quite meet and the button only barely won’t latch.

“Yeah,” says Rose, glancing downward. “I’m gonna need new trousers soon.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I quite like them like this,” replies the Doctor, pulling the zipper down until the top of her pants peeks out. “It’s like a little preview.”

“Cad,” Rose teases.

“You’re not wrong,” the Doctor says thoughtfully, before looking back up at her, his eyes full of mischief. “I am, for instance, thinking about how much better your trousers would look on the floor.”

“Oh, yeah?” Rose asks, a shy smile blossoming across her face. His grin, by contrast, is long and slow and wicked, like a bolt of liquid warmth sent straight between Rose’s thighs.

“Oh, yes,” says the Doctor, and he kisses her.

It’s really a very convincing argument.

 ***

 3.

 Roughly twenty weeks in, and really, Rose can put up with most of this nonsense—granted, the dizziness isn’t fun, the headaches aren’t enjoyable either, the ever-swelling belly makes dressing for the day officially A Challenge™, the heartburn is bordering on intolerable, the morning sickness is more of an any-part-of-the-day sickness, and the leg cramps are no walk in the park either (although a walk in the park does at least help a little)—but what she really can’t stand are these intermittent bursts of bloody awful hormones. 

“What’s wrong?” the Doctor asks in alarm the moment she steps through the front door, sniffling and snuffling and trying to hide her tears and her gross blotchy face from the Doctor and doing it very, very badly. “Rose? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” she sniffles as she shucks her boots, fully aware of how pathetic she sounds, and hating herself for it. 

“Are you sure?” asks the Doctor, his face pinched in concern. 

“Yes,” she grumbles, but the Doctor doesn’t seem convinced.

“Are you, though?” he presses, following her as she slumps her way into the kitchen, lowering herself into a dining-room chair. “You’ve been crying. That indicates distress. You’re not hurt, are you? You’re not injured? You’re not sick?”

“I’m fine,” Rose mutters again.

“Are you certain? How’s your temperature? When did you last eat? What did you last eat? You didn’t ingest any deli meat or sushi or come into contact with any cat litter or anything else potentially carrying toxoplasmosis? Are you experiencing any unusual aches or pains? Fluctuations in heartrate? Changes in vaginal discharge—?”

“I said I’m fine!” Rose snaps at him.

The Doctor’s eyes widen, but he stops talking, stops fretting. “Right, you did,” he says quietly, scratching the back of his neck. He steps back and away, his face carefully blank. “Sorry.”

Guilt crashes into Rose like a freight train and just like that, the tears start welling up in her eyes again. “No, I’m sorry,” she says, lower lip trembling, voice watery. “I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m sorry. I just…” she tries to say, and cuts herself off with a sniffle. “I just…”

The Doctor watches her from a safe distance. “Do you need to talk about it?”

“No. I don’t know. It’s just—god, it’s just stupid stuff, but it’s like my brain is going absolutely mad over it,” Rose blurts out. “Just stuff like, they were working on the lift, so I had to use the stairs, and I spilled my tea on the way back down, spilled it all over my shirt—” and she gestures at the front of her blouse, which is indeed no longer pale pink, but now light brown with the ghosts of teastains past— “and that was right before we had that big meeting with Ripley’s team and the French delegates, and I didn’t have anything else to change into, so I had to go in to this big important meeting looking like a total nightmare, and the meeting went on for so fucking long, it was hours, I had to get up to wee like five times.”

She absentmindedly rubs her growing belly-bump, trying to calm herself. “I really liked this shirt,” she continues, sniffling. “One of the only maternity shirts that doesn’t just look like a horrid flowery muumuu. S’like, you get pregnant, and you’re not allowed to try to look pretty any more. You’ve served your purpose, you’re not a woman anymore, now you’re just a whale on a one-way-train to Frumpy Town. Not like I care what other people think but I still want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see, you know? And god, the taxi smelled so badly of smoke I thought I was going to vomit. That sort of thing never used to bother me, but so many smells do, these days. And I’m a puffy horrid mess, and my hair’s doing funny things, and everything aches, and I know nothing’s wrong, not really, but sometimes it’s like there’s this high-pitched squeal in my head screaming that everything’s bad and awful and scary all the time but I can’t take my anxiety meds anymore cos of the pregnancy—and—and—”

She can feel her face crumpling with effort, straining not to burst into the world’s ugliest wettest snottiest tears right now. “—and I just remembered I ate the last of the raspberry lollies last night,” she says plaintively, her mouth twisting in abject misery. “So we’re out.”

“No, we’re not.”

Rose hiccups, thumbing tears off her cheeks. “What?” she asks thickly.

“We’re not out,” says the Doctor, gesturing to the fridge. “I picked some up on my way home.”

Blinking rapidly, Rose bites her lower lip, hardly daring to hope. “Really?”

“Yeah. I thought you might like a lolly or two after dinner, so I made a stop.” He walks over to the refrigerator, pulls open the freezer door, and plucks out a lolly, extending it her way. “D’you want one now?”

Now Rose’s eyes are filling with tears for a completely different reason, her vision growing suddenly blurry and wet as she fights back the pressure with a sob. Through the haze, she can just barely make out the worry spreading across the Doctor’s face.

“Rose?” he asks, panicked, like he’s afraid he’s done something wrong.

“I love you,” bursts out of Rose’s mouth. She launches herself out of the chair and toward the Doctor, snatching the lolly out of his hand and ripping off its plastic wrapping so she can take a huge bite. And oh—

Oh.

Oh god, it’s good.

The scent of sweet raspberry hits her nostrils, first, with an ice-cold bite that predicts the joys to come. She bites into the treat and her eyes shutter at the delicious tartness of the juices, the cold of the ice, the satisfying crunch-slush of it all. Sweet and tart and cold all sing a delightful harmony in her mouth, washing away the dregs of the unhappy world outside, soothing her aches and pains, painting her mind with calm. Another bite floods her veins with sugary pleasure and cool relief in equal turns, and Rose chokes back tears of pure, unfettered joy. 

“I love you so much,” she sobs.

“Just to be clear,” says the Doctor, a small smile spreading wryly over his face. “Are you talking to the lolly right now, or me?”

“Yes,” says Rose, before taking another bite.

 ***

 4. 

 She doesn’t know if she’s ever seen his eyes grow so comically wide before.

“No,” he chokes out amidst the sirens wailing all around them, waving smoke out of his eyes as he heaves himself up from the debris-strewn floor. “Rose, you shouldn’t have—”

“What?” Rose shoots back, hoisting the giant gun high on her hip. “Come to save your skinny arse?”

“You shouldn’t have risked yourself for me!” the Doctor snaps. “Especially right now!”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have surrendered yourself to hostile forces, so I guess neither of us got what we wanted, huh?”

The Doctor glares at her. “I did what I had to! You, on the other hand—”

“Look, can we argue about all this later?” Rose interrupts, rolling her eyes. She gestures to the door behind her (rather, the “door” she just forcefully improvised thanks to a blast from her giant gun). “My back’s starting to hurt,” she complains.

“Which is precisely why you should have stayed put!” the Doctor retorts, anxiously running his hands through his hair. “I told you this would happen, Rose. I told you people would come after you and the baby—!”

“So what, you decide to offer yourself up instead? Without even talking to me about it?”

“Yes!” he shouts, glaring as he stands over her. “I will do whatever I have to if it keeps you safe, and I don’t require your approval and I sure as hell don’t require your permission! Do you underst—”

An explosion rocks the ship, knocking the Doctor flat against the wall behind him. Her belly big and heavy as it is, Rose’s low center of gravity keeps her pretty well-grounded; she doesn’t budge.

“Right,” she says, as nonchalantly as she can while the ship burns and shakes all around them, “d’you want to keep arguing, or would you maybe like to escape the burning spaceship with your very, very pregnant girlfriend?”

He’s still glaring at her, but there’s a smile threatening to tug at the corner of his mouth now. “Fine,” he says grudgingly, pushing off the wall. “But only because you’re very compelling at eight months pregnant, with a giant weapon.”

Rose laughs, swiveling the gun out of the way so she can plant a hard kiss against the Doctor’s lips. He tastes like soot and dirt and sweat and god, she’s so glad he’s all right. That he’s going to be safe, soon. With her.

“I love you too,” she says, and she grabs his hand, and they run.

 ***

 5. 

 It isn’t like they show it in the movies—or it isn’t quite like that, rather. It takes so much longer, and it’s so much messier, and it’s loud and then quiet and frantic and then calm and there’s sweat and blood and pain but there’s elation, too, even before the nurses place the baby in her arms. It’s all compounded when Rose looks down, seeing her child for the first time, all red in the cheeks, ten little coiled fingers and ten little pruny toes and eyes screwed shut and mouth crying out against the harsh light and sound of this strange new world. Rose holds the wailing baby close and her heart swells so much she’s almost surprised her ribcage isn’t cracked from the force of it.

Tutting through her happy tears, Jackie rubs the baby’s back, murmuring words of reassurance, much like she has been throughout the last several hours. Not for the first time, Rose is immensely grateful for her mother’s attention and support. Jackie was surprisingly calm throughout the entire ordeal. She’s surprisingly soft, now, in a way Rose isn’t sure she’s ever seen her before. Being a grandmother suits her, Rose thinks.

Slowly, the baby quiets and relaxes, heavy and solid against Rose’s chest. She smiles. It’s almost too much to bear, all the love that fills her at the sight of this child. She wonders if the Doctor will feel the same way.

(She is not upset that he’s late. He’s been doing so much better about all this sort of thing these last few months; he wouldn’t miss this without a good reason. It’s simply a matter of when he arrives, she tells herself. When. Not if.)

Rose has half-started dozing off when she finally hears his voice.

“Where is she?” his voice echoes loudly in the hall outside. “Is she all right? Did I miss it? Did—”

The door swings open and there stands the Doctor, mouth open and hair mussed and clothes totally disheveled. Rose watches as he frantically takes it all in—the hospital bed, Rose in the hospital bed, Rose in the hospital bed with a tiny new baby slumbering heavily in her arms.

“You’re here,” Rose says, smiling, her voice dreamy and soft.

The Doctor’s mouth closes and his throat constricts, Adam’s apple bobbing with emotion. His eyes flicker up to Rose’s, and he’s sorry, he’s so sorry, she can see it written across his face as plain as day—but he doesn’t seem able to push the words out. His fists clench and unclench at his sides, nervous and unsure.

Next to the bed, Jackie pats Rose’s hand. “I’ll leave you two to it, shall I?” she says, kissing Rose’s forehead before she rises. On her way out the door, she stops long enough to give the Doctor a quick hug, pecking him on the cheek for good measure afterward. “Congratulations, dad,” she says, her voice fond.

The Doctor can’t seem to respond, can’t even seem to move, his feet glued to their spot on the floor for several long seconds after Jackie leaves. His gaze lingers on the baby, like he’s not quite sure what he’s seeing, somehow, or maybe he just can’t believe it.

“Come on in,” Rose teases. “Stay a while.”

Shaking himself, the Doctor starts. “Rose, I’m so sorry,” he rushes. “I had to deal with these people, these bloody water pirates, and they had all these warships and I met this robot worm and he knew who I was somehow and I got dropped in the ocean and I lost my mobile and I had to steal a boat and I might’ve shot a pirate in the foot and—”

“Doctor?” says Rose, patiently.

“Yes?”

“Tell me about it later?”

“Of course.” He grimaces. “Rose, I really am sorry.”

“I know.” She smiles. “It’s all right.”

“It’s not, though. I should have been here.”

Her heart breaks for him a little. “You should have been out saving the world,” Rose tells him gently.

He looks very much like he doesn’t believe her.

“You didn’t miss much, anyway,” Rose adds. “Just the gross stuff. I actually don’t mind you missing that bit, don’t much fancy you seeing me bleeding everywhere or pooing the bed.”

“Are you all right?” the Doctor asks, pushing a hand anxiously through his hair, which only serves to muss it even further.

Rose nods. “They gave me drugs for the pain. I think it’s the loveliest I’ve ever felt.”

The Doctor laughs humorlessly. “But overall, you’re all right?”

“Yeah, Doctor. I’m fine. I’m gonna be sore for a while. But I’m okay. Really.”

“Okay. Okay. Good. And—”

The Doctor swallows hard, his gaze flickering between Rose and the baby. “And, the child...?”

“Also fine. Would probably like to be called something besides the child, though.”

Relaxing a little, the Doctor laughs again and the sound has a little more warmth this time. “I seem to recall that I generated a good deal of names, only for each of them to be shot down,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s got to be something people can pronounce. Human people,” Rose adds before the Doctor can interject. “From Earth. In this century.”

“Cassiopeia’s a perfectly pronounceable name!”

“It’s a mouthful,” Rose laughs.

“And it lends itself very well to diminutives. Cassie, Cass, Cas,” the Doctor continues, counting off a finger for each. “Peia. Cassio.”

“Whatever. Just shut up and get over here, yeah?”

The Doctor smiles. “Yeah,” he says, and he bridges the distance between them, dipping down so he can frame Rose’s face in his hands and pull her in for a kiss. It’s only a little desperate, his hold on her, the slight tremor in his hands; Rose answers by pouring as much love and reassurance into the kiss as she possibly can.

She’s surprised to realize she’s shaking just a little, herself.

After a moment, the Doctor breaks the kiss, one hand cradling the back of her head, his forehead pressed to hers. “I really am sorry,” he says softly.

Nodding, Rose thinks that this would be a good time to reassure him again, let him know he’s forgiven, that what really matters is he’s here now, and he keeps being here. That she knows he needs her, and that’s all right. She needs him, too.

“Hold me?” she says instead, her voice small.

Wordlessly, the Doctor shifts back, lowering the siderail of the bed. Rose expects him to simply lean over the side for a little half-cuddle and is pleasantly surprised when he toes off his shoes and clambers into the bed with her instead, propping himself up on one arm so he can snuggle up against her side, pressing fully against her. The weight of him next to her is comforting, soothing any residual uncertainty or anxiety that might have been lurking in the corners of her mind, and Rose nestles into him gratefully, relishing his solid warmth. She watches him as he reaches out, almost hesitantly, to touch the baby sleeping on her chest, safe and snug between them both.

He gently strokes the baby’s head, his face alight with a quiet wonder, not unlike the expression he wears when stepping onto the surface of a new planet for the first time, Rose thinks. But his gaze is so much tenderer than she ever saw it, any of those times. Soft and open and a little afraid but still so, so full of wonder and awe.

God, she loves him so much.

“You almost forget how small they are,” the Doctor says softly, reaching down to one of the baby’s hands, inspecting five little tight-coiled fingers. “Can you believe all the potential packed inside that tiny little body?”

“It’s pretty incredible,” Rose agrees.

If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was blinking tears out of his eyes as he turns to bury his face in her hair. “You’re incredible,” he says, his voice thick.

Happy contentedness fills Rose’s head like a candyfloss-cloud. “You’re not so bad, yourself,” she says sleepily, and the Doctor chuckles, wiping his eyes.

He loops his arm around her and the baby both, holding them close. He’s unusually quiet as he watches the baby sleep, and Rose wonders if his thoughts are anything to match. Maybe he’s cataloguing everything about their child, about the downy-soft head and warm red cheeks and little button nose, filing every detail away in that massive memory of his, his mind already racing with revelations about the past, how they’ll inform plans and ideas for the future. Or maybe he’s just allowing himself to be present, for once, in the here and the now, with Rose and the baby, no ghosts or worries or unspoken nightmares haunting him for just a handful of moments. Maybe he’s allowing himself these rare few minutes of quiet calm, before the world starts spinning again.

“How long are you gonna stay with us?” Rose murmurs sleepily, and the Doctor’s hold on her tightens.

“Forever,” he says.

******

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[bestworstcase]

Okay but what is the general consensus on Zhan Tiri eating Ri Ni’n I would like to know

:D

the general consensus is. there is no general consensus ALKSDFJK

in ye olden times, by which i mean ~500 years prior to the consumption and earlier, the dominant belief in the citir region where ri ni’n grew was. ri ni’n in a protector/guardian role and the... entity that would become zhan tiri (known by various names but most commonly gat as’la) as this... slumbering devourer figure kept at bay by ri ni’n the gatekeeper. really early on gat as’la was considered... frightening but not evil. a force of primordial violence and part of the natural creation/destruction cycle that the abralians, who were the dominant culture in the area at the time, believed in. this mythology began to drift more and more towards malevolence as gat as’la began to “wake up” ie take more of an active interest in humankind. 

then! during the last decade or so before the shattered era begins, gat as’la encounters dione, who survives. no one has ever escaped before so gat as’la spends the next nine or ten years chasing her until that enmity sort of evolves into a mutual fascination. in 0 SE they make a bargain, gat as’la renames herself ẓanti’ri, and dione founds a cult in her name (the host of the rotted vulture). HRV’s characterization of ẓanti’ri has a lot in common with late-abralian characterizations of gat as’la—a cruel, violent devourer—but with the key difference of there being no notion of ẓanti’ri being held at bay by ri ni’n. she’s already here. they coexist. 

(early HRV ẓanti’ri is a goddess of war and vengeance, pretty much, with a pinch of apocalypse death cult thrown in for good measure. it is not a nice organization.)

*deep breath* 

to zoom out a little, zhan tiri’s domain is hunger and she is, to a much greater extent than the average sublime entity, sort of malleable in nature. most gods form when a significant amount of magic coagulates around an anchor point, and anchor points come from widespread shared beliefs or doubts or feelings about the cosmos at large. so, like, cathay for example began to form once sentient races started asking questions about what happens to people when they die. zhan tiri, on the other hand, actually predates the cosmos by a wide margin. she’s an abyssal parasite that crawled out of the dark country eons ago, killed jinarche, ate part of her corpse, absorbed and corrupted a big chunk of her power, and became... sort of a cosmic personification of hunger and sort of a cursed reincarnation of jinarche. and that cataclysm created the current cosmos with the separation between the profane and sublime realms etc. 

ANYWAY THE POINT IS, zhan tiri is what she eats. i mean this in the most literal way possible. when she struck that deal with dione, dione’s soul became... hm. tethered to ẓanti’ri’s sphere of power, so while ẓanti’ri didn’t eat it in the literal sense it still became, in a way, part of her. likewise for the other acolytes of the HRV. so an unintended side-effect of ẓanti’ri being worshipped is that it infects her with little bits of humanity. this had already begun to happen a little bit during her pursuit of dione (and was the impetus for her to choose her name) but it accelerates as the cult took off.

around 420 SE, ẓanti’ri has a divine existential crisis and spends a few years wandering and brooding until she ends up in the peatland of what would become saporia and meets sorchā, who is a young poet and philosopher afflicted with her own ennui. they talk a lot, and sorchā starts to crystalize her own philosophical theories and, in particular, the idea of “choimghē” as an ideal combination of the profane and sublime. (ẓanti’ri also adopts the spelling of zhan tiri around this time.) the concept of choimghē fascinates zhan tiri, who goes to ri ni’n to seek advice or help achieving it. 

(she goes to ri ni’n because, as the cosmic bridge, ri ni’n is of both the profane and sublime realms.)

now! zhan tiri and ri ni’n are not and have never been enemies. their relationship is more akin to the relationship between zhan tiri and huma or turul, i.e. they belong to the same, in a manner of speaking, family. there’s no like... biological relationship because sublime entities do not have biological relationships, but the four of them all developed around the same time and their spheres of power all overlap pretty extensively, and they’re all, like, compatible with each other. if turul is your patron it would be reasonable for you to petition zhan tiri for a one-off favor, for example, that kind of thing. 

which is to say zhan tiri does not approach ri ni’n in an antagonistic way or at all with the intention of killing her, but... ri ni’n a) couldn’t help zhan tiri with this even if she wants to and b) doesn’t want to, because zhan tiri has spent the last several centuries being horrible and ri ni’n, who understands things like pain and fear because she exists on the physical plane and has a body, disapproves of that. so she tells zhan tiri that the only way to get what she wants is through more violence, which ri ni’n will not under any circumstances help her with, and that if she does go through with it she’ll bear the consequences forever. and zhan tiri is like #YOLO and eats her. 

so like i said, zhan tiri is what she eats, so... there is a strong theological argument to be made that rather than ‘killing’ ri ni’n, zhan tiri engulfed and became her—this is the standard doctrine of the modern HRV. in any case she absorbed all of ri ni’n’s power, supplanted her as the cosmic bridge, and (this part is important) grew a body. (said body is a vast blobby mass of random things but she can smash bits of it into more... uh, coherent shapes when she wants to appear on the planet.) and part of having an actual physical body was that it came with physical sensations and real emotions rather than just vague impressions left by all the human souls she’d collected over the years so this whole process was a nightmare alksdfk and sorchā got to deal with this trillion-year-old god having a sensory overload meltdown for several months. 

the point being, in the aftermath of eating ri ni’n, zhan tiri mellowed out a lot. became... gentler. experiencing pain for herself and the realizing she had done that to people herself was horrifying for her. and this is also when her sphere began to really branch and grow into the eclectic monstrosity that it is today, because while attempting to process all these new things she was experiencing her only real frame of reference was ‘hunger.’

( zhan tiri: love is when you want to eat someone but have them not, like, die because of it right

sorchā: no )

so ANOTHER perspective on the eating ri ni’n situation is that it was kind of a last time pays for all type of thing. zhan tiri slaughtered one of her own siblings for personal gain and, just as ri ni’n warned her, she’s going to carry the consequences of that and every act of violence that came before for eternity and the nature of those consequences also mean she now has the capacity to be better. one last shattering atrocity in exchange for her becoming, not an entity driven by the compulsion to take and take but one capable of choice even though she does still feel that urge. this is the framework the thorn syconium teaches. 

then you also get myths here and there where zhan tiri and ri ni’n are understood as always having been one and the same, and their mythological enmity and the subsequent consumption of ri ni’n is interpreted as an individual entity having an internal conflict with itself, torn between its cruel and destructive urges (represented in the figure of gat as’la) and its compassionate and creative urges (represented in the figure of ri ni’n). in this conceptualization, ri ni’n is actually the triumphant half and zhan tiri’s ‘consumption’ of her is representative of zhan tiri embracing that side of her nature and bringing herself into balance. this view is especially popular with the sect of the HRV that resides in antares. 

then of course there’s another perspective that is more grounded in scholarship on the abralian faith, where ri ni’n was this gatekeeper who kept this dangerous, malevolent force of destruction at bay and guarded the wellspring of life and so on, and from that perspective this is a matter of zhan tiri having triumphed over ri ni’n and the world now being in an apocalyptic epoch that will ultimately end in the utter destruction of everything. 

and there’s the, like, demanitus framework, which is based on his writings and accounts of his battles with not just zhan tiri but also other gods, which takes things a step further to suggest that all gods are hostile to mortal life and the only way to avert the growing apocalypse is to cut off the sublime realm’s access to the profane realm altogether by removing the cosmic bridge. which is precisely what demanitus did when he banished zhan tiri to the dark country.

and then there’s the entities of the sublime realm themselves, who have myriad personal opinions on zhan tiri slaying and devouring another god because she felt like it and tend to pass those views on to their own cults. one of the reasons it is nigh impossible to kill one of zhan tiri’s scions is you would need the help of another god to do it, and zhan tiri is the largest, oldest, and most powerful god around, notorious for being extremely attached to her scions, and also a proven god-killer. nobody wants to get eaten. even cathay, however willing she might be to antagonize zhan tiri in other ways, wouldn’t do it. 

and then there’s huma and turul, who as i said belong to the same ‘family’ as both zhan tiri and ri ni’n, and who i think were kind of like “zhan tiri what the fuck” about it. but it’s not like—despite the sibling analogy i keep using—it isn’t equivalent to the human horror that this situation, of one sibling killing and eating another, would provoke. everything ri ni’n was—her power, her magic, her essence—still exists. she isn’t dead, in the way that gods can die (by becoming unmoored from their domain, which shreds them and causes their magic to disperse into the sublime realm itself). she’s just. part of zhan tiri now. so for huma and turul it’s more of a “why in the world did you do this to yourself” sort of “zhan tiri what the fuck” than it is a “you murdered our sister?!” thing. 

...so yeah. the general consensus on this depends a lot on where and whom you ask gjksdjkf. i think the thorn syconium framework is the one closest to zhan tiri’s feelings on the matter, unless she’s in a mood. 

[rigelmejo]

January Goals Update and Notes

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: Notes lol:

i do not control wtf motivates me. perhaps it literally just is i have to get really attached to a book.

anyway, february is here. i am thinking i may just start listen-reading to Guardian this month. I know I’ve been debating whether to finish Tian Ya Ke first before I started guardian, or do both at the same time. I am leaning toward starting Guardian, sooner rather than later. Even though it’s still me ‘not finishing one thing before starting the next.’

In the end, any studying is better than no studying. And I haven’t been motivated to read chinese lately. However, I have been motivated to read english - and listening-reading will be 1/3 english reading which may help push me to keep progressing. And the 1/3 chinese reading portion is more passive, since I follow along with the audio, so I can have a break from the dictionary for a while. Also... why did I initially start learning Chinese? To read Guardian. To read it in chinese, and english translation. If I’m thinking about my most prioritized goals, this task is more directly in line with what I want to accomplish than finishing reading Tian Ya Ke. Although, both ARE related. 

Also, I think anything I learn from listening-reading to Guardian, will improve my reading/listening skills when moving onto any other priest novel. So it won’t be a detriment, it will only make going back to Tian Ya Ke easier afterward - since I will know more words, and recognize them in listening better (and ideally, pick up some words visually in reading better). So I think... if I do get motivated to start listening-reading to Guardian this month, then I’m just going to start doing it.

A note about Tian Ya Ke and difficulty: I am still noticing improvement. I am getting to the point where 1 page has a handful of unknown words at most, usually only 1-3 getting in the way of me easily following the plot. I am noticing I’m getting better at guessing what an unknown word is supposed to mean, guessing what the idioms that seem vaguely familiar mean (and remembering at least some of the words in them). Reading Tian Ya Ke has gotten much closer to reading Han She in terms of ease. I think I’m running into a similar number of unknown words now. I haven’t measured yet if the chapters are taking me under 30 minutes to read yet. Mainly because lately I can’t get myself to read more than 5-10 pages in short bursts at a time. So I’m not sure if reading speed has improved. But I can say that my reading recognition for Tian Ya Ke is currently better than my listening comprehension. I’ve been scanning the pages I read lately pretty fast as I read, guessing most words fine, and then just double checking their pronunciation/definition by clicking them for audio afterwards. Its currently the checking for precise sound/meaning that’s slowing down my reading of Tian Ya Ke. If I were reading it extensively, only looking up words for crucial meaning clarification, I would probably be reading it decently faster. 

On a general goals note: I am still for some reason managing to focus easily on reading english books, which is not that usual for me (usually I can read 20-40 pages in a book, then can’t read more than 10 pages an hour or slower and eventually drop the book). So I’m going to keep taking advantage of this ability to focus while I’ve got the chance. It’s been really nice to finally start getting through more of my books. Right now about half are mental health related books (which I’ve been meaning to read for ages), and fiction (mostly historical romances as I’m trying to find an author that Clicks well with me lol). I’ve read 5 so far, with 2 non-fiction books in progress and 1 fiction in progress. That is a LOT in one month for me, each book being 200-500 pages. Lets say 350 pages average, I’ve read over 1750 pages so far this year in January. Yes, that might only be the same as 2 ‘big’ books... but in my defense, non-fiction is soooo much harder to focus on (like i said, i get about 10-20 pages read in an hour of non-fiction even now that i’m focusing -o- ), and I just have not managed to read anything considerable in a while. So... while I still have long term language goals, I’m not going to be upset if they end up getting sidelined again this month. Reading more is something I’m enjoying getting back into, and I truly have so many books to finally read... so I’m glad I’m doing it now. 

Things accomplished in January:

Chinese novel chapters read in January: 8 (I’m on Tian Ya Ke chapter 27, page 10. I’m around 33% through the novel. I read around half as many chapters this past month compared to December... and honestly like 4 of these chapters I remember reading one Saturday that I managed to focus. I just wasn’t in the mood to intensively read very much in December).

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 2 (Wow that’s not much... both were Tian Ya Ke chapters. Doing both intensive reading AND listening-reading to a single chapter really burns me out. Again, I just wasn’t in a reading mood, so I mostly skipped l-r to speed up how long chapters took to read).

Japanese Audio listened to: 14 (I was listening through Quicksleur - which is pimsleur but with the silences cut out, there are 3 sections, 30 audio files in each section. I completed 14 audio files in section 1. I’ve been listening to Quicksleur to try and refresh the japanese I used to know. Is it working? Yeah, I’m remembering a fair bit of what I used to know. I definitely think re-reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide or Japanese in 30 Hours would help reaffirm the grammar I used to know - but I haven’t been motivated to read grammar books. I was listening to quicksleur while playing video games, and that worked well as a low effort way to include listening. I will probably just keep listening to quicksleur, then change my audio to japanese and see what vocab I can refresh. Then maybe in a few months, once quicksleur is completed, I may move into using Japanese Audio Lessons and my actual grammar books. At the moment, realistically, I have 0 time for my grammar books. And I want to focus on audio primarily anyway for now - I do NOT want my kanji/spelling knowledge of japanese to affect my chinese reading skills right now. And I know, having tried, that for me they definitely do affect each other - I’ll see kanji and the pinyin pronunciation will jump in my head, or I’ll know a word in japanese and see it in a chinese novel and have to remind myself its a new word there. This mix up happened a lot when I first started studying Chinese - as I’d just come off of studying Japanese for 2.5 years. Which was very weird, it made learning chinese words harder, but the more chinese i learned the easier manga got to Read for a while. Anyway now that I’m refreshing my japanese, even Without seeing kanji on purpose - when I see them in my chinese reading i’m re-remembering the japanese pronunciation and word that hanzi also goes to. Which is already a bit awkward. So I don’t really want to add kanji included study on purpose for a while. I’ll just keep trying this audio focus for now... with the added benefit its easy to include, and doesn’t have to compete for my energy level I have to make myself read. I am well aware I’ll need to go to my long term, more well rounded, japanese study plan later on. But for now this is fine).

Chinese Spoonfed Audio: 0 

Manhua chapters read: 0

Chinese shows watched: 1 (Watched anti fraud league ep 1 in chinese, and again I think some small videos and partial eps of other shows. I haven’t watched many shows period this past month though, so I’m not surprised this is low. 

Personal goals met:

Personal books read: 5 (3 non-fiction , 2 fiction novels, 2 non-fiction in progress, 1 fiction in progress. This is really where my energy has been happy to focus on this past January. The non-fiction I’m particularly happy with as its a lot of mental health books I’ve been meaning to read for ages, and some of them I really think have helped me to cope with my panic attacks better. Lately my panic attacks have been less overwhelming, to a degree I think because my inner thoughts during them are having an easier time getting back to self-soothing patterns so I can calm down, and I’m more willing to openly express I’m feeling so bad which I think is helping me process the emotions faster, which helps them end sooner. I read a few as mentioned, although I literally cannot recommend complex ptsd by pete walker if the subject material is relevant to you. That book definitely helped the most, and the books he recommended within it are what I’m reading through now. The book was compassionate, informative, very supportive and encouraging of the recovery journey and its steps, and had a ton of very helpful exercises that can be put to practical use).  

Continued to get my stomach to not hurt, also got it to work better without medicine. Avoiding very processed carbs - mainly white breads like biscuits, pizza, pie crust, cinamon rolls that come in those cans - has kept my bloating down and the pain down. Eating apples again every day with coffee/tea is helping, both with not needing my medicine, and with foods not hurting me/not bloating me so much. So I guess I have to keep eating apples every single day -o-. I ate pizza several times this past month (with my lactose medicine) and I only bloated a little, it did not hurt, which was GREAT. Eating biscuits from a can still hurt though - happily the bloating only happened a little, but the pain sucks, and definitely is caused by those kinds of carbs specifically. Other then minimizing dairy and that specific carb type, my stomach’s been tolerating other carbs pretty well. I’ve kept my daily bloating low even with some foods that ‘could hurt’ per day, to 1-2 lbs. Which is great. The worst I’ve bloated this month was by 4 lbs (biscuits), which hurt a bit but thankfully subsided after a day, and that is a big improvement over the 7-10 lb bloating I’d get in a single day from one ‘less tolerated’ food choice. I’m very happy I haven’t had to take my medicine daily, hopefully I’m on the way to getting my stomach as happy as it was this summer. 

Goals for February: 

Listen-Read Method Guardian, until I’ve gotten through the entire novel. I will probably start this in February, not sure yet if it will be postponed. This, and goal 2, are the main priorities for chinese and I don’t mind which one happens as long as I do some of either of these goals.

Continue reading Tian Ya Ke. Work on reading through my first complete novel in chinese. This goal has not changed, though I predict it may be postponed as I’m not sure how much time I will dedicate to it in February.

Optional. Audios. Keep listening to Japanese Quicksleur when there’s down time (like playing games), and Chinese Spoonfed audio if I feel like it. 

Personal. Keep reading while I’ve got the motivation to. I am really enjoying getting through all these books I’ve wanted to read for so long. 

So same chinese goals as last month - and I imagine these goals will remain the same into the spring and possibly as summer starts. For japanese, just continuing to progress to refresh my memory is all I am planning at the moment. 

And a note to myself: it is shocking how motivating making a little line item in my notes saying “Personal books read:” managed to be. I added that to my to-do list in the middle of January, and since then have read a TON. So just as it motivates me to read chinese chapters, it looks like that particular motivator can work for more things.

[saiilorstars]

The Beginning of Everything

Ch. 22: The Future Comes Across

// Story Masterlist // 

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Female OC

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Chapter summary: After visiting King Henry VIII, the Doctor doesn’t know how to confront Renata about what happened between them. Renata’s continued silence only makes the Doctor even more nervous. But, there’s more to Renata’s silence than he believes and instead of finding an easier way to come clean to him, Renata comes across...River Song. 

It was a rare sight to see the Doctor so silent and only looking at a screen. Donna didn't think she'd ever seen him like that, which made it harder to break his concentration. She'd tiptoed into the console room, careful not to be heard as she came up behind him. And that's when she saw what he was looking at on the screen.

Ginger hair and freckles. "Is that her?" her soft voice was still enough to make the Doctor jump. Donna didn't mind that he'd swooped to shut down the screen, almost bonking his head along the corner in the process. Donna had seen enough to understand. "That was her, wasn't it? Zuriah? The girl you used to love?"

The Doctor didn't say anything as he moved away from Donna. She watched him walk slowly around the console,, his head hanging low. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you. But...if it counts for anything… she's really pretty."

A light smile spread across the Doctor's face. "Yeah, she was…"

Donna smiled with him. "We're you just remembering her?" The Doctor was about to shake his head but something stopped him midway. Donna studied his unusual expression and ultimately had to ask what was wrong. "You know I won't say anything."

At that, the Doctor smiled again. "It's stupid."

"If it's what's making that face I don't think it is."

The Doctor sighed. "It doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?"

"Zuriah...Renata…" he closed his eyes and let his back lean against the console, "Ever since the whole Agatha Christie incident I can't stop thinking about the moment I kissed Renata." And he wouldn't even mention the kiss they shared a few days ago in Hampton Court Palace. It still made his insides warm up like there was no tomorrow.

"Aah," Donna was fast to smirk.

"I've just been thinking, realizing, that it was very familiar. Everything between Renata and I...it's just so familiar."

"You mean...Renata reminded you of Zuriah?" Donna tilted her head. It was a fair thing considering the two women had been friends long ago. Except, it was one thing was to be reminded of Zuriah because of the friendship she shared with Renata and another thing was to remember Zuriah by kissing her friend.

"I know, it doesn't make sense and it's plain awful that I'm doing this," the Doctor leaned away from the console. He couldn't figure it out. He was just so confused and it was driving him crazy. Worst of all was that he didn't have the courage to talk to Renata about it, at least not yet. It'd been a few days since the whole King Henry visit and while they had shared a wonderful moment, neither seemed to be able to talk about it afterwards. They were still close, they were good friends, but...something wasn't right. It pained the Doctor that Renata wouldn't talk about their kiss, that she wouldn't mention their night adventure through the palace. Had she regretted it? Was she being kind and just ignoring it? Moving on from it?

The Doctor felt his hearts stop each time he thought about Renata moving on from that kiss. Donna was right, he was smitten with Renata. He was so smitten with her.

"Doctor?" Donna called his name when his face had turned pale. "Hey, are you okay?"

"No, no I'm not," he exhaled deeply as he let his body lean against the console. "Oh, Donna. You were right."

"I was," Donna nodded her head firmly before asking, "What was I right about?"

"I like Renata. I really like her and right now...I'm going crazy."

Donna's eyes widened. She thought she would have to work at least a few more weeks to crack the Doctor, but it seems like Renata took care of that already. "Oh, um...well, at least you admit it. That's a good step. Honestly, it wasn't that hard to tell. Anyone could see it."

"Yeah?" the Doctor glanced at her. "What do you think about Renata, then? You think she...reciprocates these...feelings?"

Donna scoffed. "Please! It's so obvious, Doctor! I don't know how you missed it! The way she looks at you! All those little smiles she gives you! How could you have missed it? Well, I suppose the same way she missed the fact you like her too! For two people who are so smart, you sure are dumb!"

"Alright, alright, I get it," the Doctor rolled his eyes. Leave it to Donna to make him smile right now.

"So what are you going to do? Ask her out on a date? Oh, how about-"

"Donna, we kissed. We kissed and now I don't know how to talk to her about it," the Doctor found himself blurting. He couldn't picture himself having this type of talk with anyone, but Donna gave him a sense of security. She would keep his secrets just like he imagined Gabby kept Renata's. He wondered if Renata had told Gabby about their kiss...

"Wow, you work fast!" Donna laughed.

"It's not all so good. I haven't been able to talk to her about it and now I'm wondering if it's even worth doing it," the Doctor sighed. "If she hasn't talked to me about it then...wouldn't that mean she doesn't want to talk about it?

"Not precisely. Could just be that Renata's nervous about it," Donna shrugged. "I've had loads of friends do that."

"So then how do I talk to her about it?"

"Well, first you gotta know what you want to to tell her. I have seen so many relationships fail because the bloke has no idea what he wants. That's a sure way to make a woman angry. What do you want with Renata?"

The Doctor exhaled at the question. If he was being honest with himself, the first thing he would want from Renata was to kiss her again. He'd want nothing more than to kiss her and for a longer time than their previous one had been. "I do want something with her but I also confess that...that I'm concerned."

"Concerned about what?" Donna asked curiously.

"That everything about her is so familiar. It's not fair to her that I keep thinking about Zuriah. And then I don't know why I keep thinking back to Zuriah."

"Maybe you just need some time to sort your head out," Donna suggested. He wouldn't be the first man to be confused between two women, even if one was a ghost.

"I guess..." the Doctor sighed. He might just be horrible though because even though he was confused, he knew that he did want Renata. He wanted her now. It made it incredibly hard to keep his hands from touching her during these past days. He even struggled not to keep looking at her after what was considered normal. He had no idea how Renata was so normal. Actually, maybe he did. She was trained to keep her emotions inside and she was damn good at it.

The Doctor didn't know if she was acting normal because she'd moved on from their kiss or if she was just faking. It was driving him crazy! He needed to figure something out soon because he didn't know how much longer he could last like this.

~ 0 ~

Renata was completely enamored with their current location. It was a huge library that was literally the planet. "This is it," she murmured as she made her way through the reception area. "This is literally my favorite trip."

"We've only been here for 2 minutes," Gabby pointed out but Renata waved her off.

"I don't care. This is my favorite one. It's so big, it's full of books, it's quiet and...normal..." Renata turned to the Doctor, allowing him to view her wide-eyed expression. "Why did it take you so long to show me this place?"

The Doctor smiled a tight smile, one that Renata discreetly noticed. She could only guess what was running through his head. She inwardly sighed to herself. She was ruining things, she knew she was but she was such a coward...and scared. She was so scared.

After their kiss in King Henry VIII's palace, Renata knew there was no way she could keep up her charade with the Doctor. That was ruined the moment she let him put his lips on hers. She loved him too much and the fact he had chosen to kiss her meant that he was starting to feel something for her...but the wrong her. She would truly be the worst type of woman if she allowed the Doctor to develop feelings for this version of her when he didn't know who she really was. That's where she drew the line. She would hurt him even more if she let him believe he was falling for a different woman. But she was so scared to tell him the truth. She had lied for too long that he was definitely react badly to it. It was his right to. He had been fed too many lies, one after the other, that the only thing he should do with her was to throw her out of the TARDIS. Just thinking about it broke Renata's hearts, but she knew she had no right to protest.

If she was being honest, she was disgusted with herself. For too long she had hidden and lied and it was only now that she realized she only set up the path that would hurt the man she loved most. It seemed like she was always destined to hurt the Doctor. Renata hated herself. Every day, she hated herself a little bit more.

"This is the 51st century, right?" Renata crossed the reception, leading the group through a door that would bring them to quite a view. She needed to control her feelings right now. She was secretly flexing her fingers as the familiar warmth spread through them. That energy was getting stronger, like it wanted to burst. "You know, I'm not much of a future girl but I do like the fact that this Century has holovids, direct to brain downloads and fiction mist."

"What? You get a book download into your head?" Donna tapped the side of her own head.

"Yeah, I know, not all that great if you're old fashioned and want a physical copy."

"Oh wow," Donna came first to see the view ahead of them. She walked closer to the rail and saw endless aisles of bookshelves. "It truly is a city!"

"The Library," the Doctor came up beside her to admire the view. "So big it doesn't need a name. Just a great big 'the'."

"A library that's a planet!" Renata laughed as she came to the view as well. "Now this is fantastic!"

"It is," agreed the Doctor. "The whole core of the planet is the index computer, biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Whole continents of Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python's Big Red Book. Brand new editions, specially printed. We're near the equator, so…" he licked his finger and raised it to the air, "This must be Biographies! I do love biographies!"

"Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end," Donna remarked. Gabby cleared her throat and gave her a pointed look. "Right," Donna murmured. The topic about death was a touchy one considering their uptight Time Lady still wasn't being honest about her own death arriving.

Renata had wandered away from the railing and sifted through some books, but she ultimately realized that they were very much alone. "It's so... silent," she remarked. "Where is everyone?"

The Doctor wondered the same thing. He found an information terminal and tinkered with it.

"Maybe it's a Sunday?" Donna said.

"No, I never land on Sundays. Sundays are boring."

"It is library. Maybe everyone's really quiet," Gabby thought next.

"Yeah, maybe. But they'd still show up on the system," the Doctor murmured as he went deeper into the terminal's system.

"I'm beginning to think that there's something going on," Renata left the table of books she stopped by and walked over to the Doctor. "This wasn't your first choice of trips."

"It wasn't?" he repeated, not really paying her attention. The system was a bit difficult to get through.

"No. If I recall correctly, you mentioned something about a beach…"

"Did I?"

"Yeah, so why the sudden change?"

But the Doctor had finally found something worthwhile. "Now, that's interesting. I'm scanning for life forms. If I do a scan looking for your basic humanoids - you know, your book readers, few limbs and a face - apart from us, I get nothing. Zippo, nada, see?"

Renata gazed at the screen herself to confirm what he was saying. "Hm, nobody home I guess?"

"Right, but if I widen the parameters to any kind of life…" the Doctor went in again to change the settings and this time when the scan was done they got an "error; .000; lifeform number capped at maximum record' on the screen. "A million million. Gives up after that. A million million."

"But... there's nothing here…" Gabby gave an unsettling look around the place. She was starting to get a bad feeling. "There's no-one."

"And not a sound," the Doctor added. "A million million life forms, and silence in the Library."

"But there's no-one here. There's just books. I mean, it's not the books, is it?" Donna wanted to laugh but then she realized she'd seen crazier things before. "Wait...can the books be alive?"

Renata turned her head slowly at the nearest table of books. She wanted to think it was a crazy idea but, like Donna had also thought, they'd seen far crazier things already. She cautiously moved to the table and reached for a book, readying herself in case one of them snapped to bite her-

"Welcome!"

Renata actually yelled and snapped her hand back to her chest.

"It came from in there!" Gabby pointed in the direction they'd come from. They all bolted back and searched for the source of the unknown voice.

It turned out to be a Node, a statue with an actual face on its head. "I am Courtesy Node 710/aqua. Please enjoy the Library and respect the personal access codes of all your fellow readers regardless of species or hygiene taboo."

Donna couldn't help but stare at its talking face. It was too creepy. "That face, it looks real."

The Doctor knew where she was getting at and wondered how badly it would get to her. "Yeah, don't worry about it."

"But a statue with a real face, though! It's a hologram or something, isn't it?"

"It's got to be," Gabby said instinctively but then shot a look at Renata when the doubt got to her. "Right?" Renata didn't say anything but the face she was making had all the answers. Gabby wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Oh, that's gross!"

"Additional," the Mode started up again. "There follows a brief message from the head librarian for your urgent attention. It has been edited for tone and content by Felman Lux Automated Decency Filter. Message follows. 'Run. For God's sake, run. No way is safe. The Library has sealed itself, we can't...oh, they're here. Arg. Slarg. Snick.'" Message ends. Please switch off your mobile comm units for the comfort of other readers."

"So that's why we're here…" the Doctor murmured. "Any other messages, same date stamp?"

"One additional message. This message carries a Felman Lux coherency warning of 5, 0, 11…"The Doctor could not deal with the legalities and hurried the Node along. "Message follows: 'Count the shadows. For God's sake, remember... if you want to live, count the shadows.' Message ends."

There was a collective fear that spread amongst the group.

"Everyone...stay out of the shadows," the Doctor warned as he himself made sure not to stand over a shadow that wasn't his.

"This is supposed to be a library - what could there be in the Shadows?" Renata could not believe that something as simple - as peaceful - as a library could be ruined.

The Doctor couldn't answer correctly, so he started leading them through another door to come across a huge aisle of bookshelves. It was several floors high, possibly endless since they couldn't even see the actual top.

"Alright Doctor, the jig is up," Donna said, shooting him all her suspicious looks. "We weren't just in the neighborhood. Why are we here?"

The Doctor supposed she was right. Better to start with the truth if they wanted to focus on figuring out what was wrong with the library. "Yeah, alright, I kind of, sort of lied a bit. I got a message on the psychic paper."

"You did what!?" Renata groaned. She should've known better than to believe he would openly come to a place like this when the only adventure were the skyscraper bookshelves.

He showed them his psychic paper which had a message left for him. ' The Library. Come as soon as you can. x'

"What do you think? Cry for help?"

"Cry for help - with a kiss?" Gabby raised an eyebrow at him. "Looks more like a message for a date."

"Who's it from?" asked Renata with an unusual hardness in her tone.

"No idea."

"So then we have no idea if this has all just been a big ole trap?"

The Doctor briefly looked to the side. "Uuh…"

Renata groaned. "This is why we do environmental checks before we leave the TARDIS!"

"I didn't think we needed one! This is a library!"

"Those were the rumors until a statue told us to run!"

Gabby didn't want to listen to them bicker so she looked away, but in doing so she noticed that the lights were going out at the end of the corridor. "Uh, guys! The lights!"

The Doctor and Renata quit arguing to see what Gabby meant and we're equally horrified to see darkness coming towards them.

"Run!" the Doctor ordered before taking charge. They came to a locked door and despite attempting to use his sonic, it wouldn't budge. "Jammed! The wood's warped!"

"What? And the sonic doesn't work!?" Donna exclaimed.

"I can't, it's wood!"

"What?" Gabby nearly keeled over from shock. "That thing can do hundreds of things against aliens but it can't open a stupid wooden door!?"

"Dare I ask about mine?" Renata waved her own sonic in the air.

"I...wouldn't," the Doctor sighed and tried fiddling with his sonic again. There had to be something he could do. "Hang on, hang on, if I can vibrate the molecules, fry the bindings, I can shatterline the interface…"

Donna groaned. At this rate they would die faster. "Oh, get out of the way!" she shoved the man to the side and kicked the door open with all her might.

"Alright Donna!" Gabby laughed, impressed with their friend's quick thinking.

"Yeah, yeah, get in!" Renata ushered them in first then pulled the Doctor behind her.

Together they quickly shut the door and used a book to bolt it. When the Doctor turned around to see where they were, he found a small girl standing a few feet away.

"Oh! Hello! Sorry to burst on you like this. OK if we stop here for a bit?"

But the girl blinked and turned into a sphere instead.

"That's...new." Gabby blinked. "Can we expect more little girls turning into spheres?"

The Doctor, not amused with her question, shot her a momentary glare. He rushed to pick up the sphere and sonicked it. "Security camera. Switched itself off."

"Why would it switch off?" asked Renata when she joined him. It looked high tech, definitely something a library like this one would have.

Somewhere along the sonicking, the sphere gave a high pitched scream. It almost sounded like it was…

"Wait, stop!" Renata snag he'd the sphere from the Doctor's hands. "Look!" she turned it over from him to see the words running along its screen.

'No, stop it, no, no!'

"Ooh, I'm sorry!" the Doctor put the sonic away for the moment. Scanning it wouldn't be an option anymore. "I really am, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's alive," Renata carefully put the sphere back on the floor.

"I thought you said it was a security camera," Donna eyed the sphere as if it would move on them.

"It is. It's an alive one," the Doctor said.

"Look, it's saying something else," Gabby saw new words running across the screen. She bent down beside it to read aloud. "The others are coming?" she looked up at the alien pair, confused and a bit afraid. "Who are the 'others'?"

"I'm afraid to ask what that even means," sighed Donna who then noticed another Node in the room. "But I guess we'll have to." She walked up to it and, despite however creepy it was, she asked it a question. "Excuse me, what does it mean, "others"?"

"That's barely more than a speak your weight machine, it can't help you," the Doctor pointed out before she wasted more of her breath.

"So why's it got a face?"

The Node took care of the answer "This flesh aspect was donated by Mark Chambers on the occasion of his death."

Donna leaned forwards when she thought she heard wrong. Even Gabby had gotten back on her feet to stare in horror.

"It's a real face?!" Donna almost shrieked.

"It has been actualized individually for you from the many facial aspects saved to our extensive flesh banks. Please enjoy."

"Enjoy?" Gabby repeated.

"It chose me a dead face it thought I'd like?" Donna turned away from the Node, almost outraged. "That statue's got a real dead person's face on it…"

"Unfortunately that's not so uncommon here in the 51st century," Renata said with a crinkled nose.

"I want to leave now," Gabby resolved and turned away from the Node as well. She was about to walk away when the Doctor shouted for her to stop. He dove forwards to yank her in the opposite direction.

"What!? Ah!" she pushed him away in fear.

"The shadow, look!"

She'd been about to step on a dark shadow behind her. "What about it?"

"Count the shadows."

"One. There, I counted it, one shadow."

"Gabby you're not getting it," Renata seemed a bit more afraid than usual. "If that's a shadow...what's casting it?"

Gabby froze with wide eyes. Donna quickly looked around her immediate area to see if there was another unaccounted Shadow nearby.

"Oh! I'm thick! Look at me, I'm old and thick!" the Doctor banged a few fingers against his head. "Head's too full of stuff, I need a bigger head!"

"I think the world would literally explode," Renata couldn't help make the remark. It did elicit a smile from him though, a rather nice one.

They followed the Doctor towards a corridor and saw that it was pitch dark except for one lamp still blinking.

"Power must be going," Donna concluded.

"This place runs on fission cells. They'll outburn the sun," the Doctor said.

"Then why is it dark?"

"...it's not dark."

Donna went wide-eyed and turned away, only when she did she realized that the shadow Gabby had nearly stepped on was no longer there. "That shadow. It's gone."

That was it for the Doctor. "We need to get back to the TARDIS." Of course for Gabby and Donna it was very weird behavior.

"Why?" asked Gabby.

"Because that shadow hasn't gone. It's moved."

"Doctor, I don't like this place anymore," Renata was frantically searching for more Shadows trying to literally creep up on them.

"Reminder," the Node started again, "The Library has been breached, others are coming. Reminder: the Library has been breached, others are coming. Reminder: the Library has been breached…"

Another door in the room flung open and allowed six people - dressed in white spacesuits - inside. One of them, presumed to be the leader, walked straight to the Doctor, an action that made the man backtrack a couple steps.

The spacesuited person switched their visor to transparent to show their face. A woman with ashy brown hair and blue eyes smiled at him. "Hello sweetie."

Renata raised an eyebrow at her, but the Doctor had only gotten the fact that there were 6 unidentified humans trespassing into a dangerous place. "Get out!" he ordered them. "All of you, turn around, get back in your rocket and fly away! Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived, they won't believe you!"

The woman inside the spacesuit paid him no attention and turned to her crew instead. "Pop your helmets, everyone. We've got breathers." At her command, everyone removed their helmets.

"How do you know they're not androids?" one of the females in the crew asked her.

"Cos I've dated androids. They're rubbish."

A bald man went straight to the group, looking just as displeased with them as the Doctor was with the crew. "Who is this? You said we were the only expedition, I paid for exclusives."

The woman shrugged. "I lied, I'm always lying. Bound to be others."

"Miss Evangelista," the man barked at a petite woman. "I want to see the contracts."

"You came through the north door, yeah?" the ashy-brown haired woman asked the Doctor. "How's that, much damage?"

"Please, just leave," the Doctor went flat with his tone. "I'm asking you seriously and properly, just lea... Hang on. Did you say expedition?"

"My expedition, I funded it," the bald man made sure to clarify it.

"And how are you feeling about it?" Renata questioned him since she was sure they'd probably come across the fearsome shadows.

"Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists," the Doctor rubbed his face in frustration. That's the last thing he needed.

"Got a problem with archaeologists?" the lead woman asked from him, sounding amused.

The Doctor dropped his hands to his side. "I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists."

"Well that's not nice," Gabby chuckled. The woman spared her a look that wasn't too...kind. It quieted Gabby down in seconds.

"Who are you?" asked Donna. She wasn't given any type of look.

"Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist."

"River Song, lovely name. As you're leaving, and you're leaving now... you need to set up a quarantine beacon," the Doctor turned her around for the nearest door. "Code-wall the planet, the whole planet. Nobody comes here, not ever again... not one living thing, not here, not ever."

"Wait, stop!" he heard Renata cry. He'd turned to see one of the female crew members had nearly stepped on a shadow. "Trust me, you don't want to go anywhere near a shadow. "What's your name?"

"Anita," the woman responded shakily.

"Anita, stay out of the shadows, alright?"

"Yeah, we got that," River cut in, sounding a bit irritated with Renata. Like Gabby - though more - Renata was getting a similar cold look.

"She's right," the Doctor agreed with Renata. "Not a foot, not a finger in the shadows till you're safely back in your ship. Goes for all of you. Stay in the light. Find a nice, bright spot and just stand. If you understand me, look very, very scared."

"Those aren't very good instructions," Gabby remarked.

The Doctor could agree but he worked with what he had. He suddenly pointed at another man of the crew. "You, who are you?"

"Uh, Dave."

"OK, Dave-"

"Oh, well Other Dave, because that's Proper Dave the pilot-" he pointed to the last man of the crew, "-he was the first Dave, so when we…"

The Doctor didn't want to listen anymore, not when their lives were in danger. He grabbed Other Dave and walked them to the open door. "Other Dave, the way you came, does it look the same as before?"

"Yeah. Oh, it's a bit darker."

"How much darker?"

"Oh, like I could see where we came through just like a moment ago. I can't now."

The Doctor took that as the red alarm it was. "Seal up this door. We'll find another way out."

"We're not looking for a way out," the bald man said in a snark.

"Oh, so you want to die," Renata said as the only logical reason behind his choice.

The man glared at her but called for the petite woman from before. "Miss Evangelista?"

Miss Evangelista gathered the travelers together to hand them each a pile of papers. "I'm Mr. Lux's personal... everything. You need to sign these contracts agreeing that your individual experience inside the Library are the intellectual property of the Felman Lux Corporation."

"Humans," Renata looked at the Doctor and this time he couldn't really say anything to her. Instead, he ripped up the contract, prompting the others to do the same.

Lux nearly lost it at their outright disrespect. "My family built this Library. I have rights!"

"You have a mouth that won't stop," River promptly corrected and turned to the Doctor with a sweet smile, as if she hadn't just been rude. "You think there's danger here?"

The Doctor's expression was flat. Was he not being clear when he tried throwing them out? Did he have to speak louder? He cleared his throat and went ahead and explained one more time, "Something came to this Library and killed everything in it, killed a whole world. Danger? Could be."

"But that was 100 years ago. The Library's been silent for 100 years. Whatever came here is long dead."

"Or it's just something that's really patient," Renata offered an alternative she believed could be very true. Unfortunately, River ignored her.

"What are you doing?" Lux asked Other Dave when he caught the man locking up the door.

"He said seal the door!"

"Torch!" the Doctor said right before snatching a torch from Lux's hand.

"You're taking orders from him?" Lux glared at his crew member for the blatant disobedience.

"Spooky, isn't it?" the Doctor found the time to smirk at Lux as he walked to the other side of the room. There were so many things he could look through, but he doubted one of them would give him an idea of how to get everybody out of there unharmed. "Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark. But they're wrong. Cos it's not irrational. It's Vashta Nerada."

"Vastha what?" Gabby raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh not that…" Renata brought a hand to cover her mouth. That was seriously the last thing they needed. That lesson she learned very fast in the academy - mostly because it had scared the living daylights out of her.

"What's Vashta Nerada?" Donna asked the same question in hopes of finally getting the answer.

"Bad, just very bad," Renata dropped her hand to her side. "It's what's in the dark. It's what's always in the dark. So it makes it harder to fight...I'd rather see Weeping Angels. Doctor," she marched for him, missing the way River watched her, "How do we fight Vashta Nerada without getting killed?"

She'd stopped him momentarily from his search, but it was only for him to see her honest fear. He didn't want to tell her that he had no idea, but…

There's always something, he reminded himself. He looked around the room for the slightest of things that could help. "Lights!" he exclaimed. "That's what we need, lights. You got lights?"

"What for?" called River.

"Form a circle, safe area, big as you can, lights pointing out."

"Oi! Do as he says!" River told the rest of the crew, even clapping her hands to make sure they heard her. Despite Lux's defensiveness, the crew followed River's instructions. "Anita, unpack the lights. Other Dave, make sure the door's secure, then help Anita. Mr. Lux, put your helmet back on, block the visor. Proper Dave, find an active terminal. I want you to access the Library database, see what you can find about what happened here a hundred years ago. Pretty Boy, you're with me. Step into my office."

Renata shot River a look for her choice of words. She seemed to know the Doctor but...he didn't seem to. But she was a bit...distant with the rest. She'd already noticed long ago that River had only introduced herself because Donna asked her but even then River had yet to introduce herself to Gabby or Renata herself.

"I have no idea what's going on," Gabby came over to Renata, heaving a big sigh. "All I know is that I should be afraid...of the dark. Did I get that right?"

Renata hated to nod her head, but she had to. "We'll get out of this, we always do."

"Pretty boy, with me I said!" River's call for the Doctor garnered both their attention. The Doctor had yet to notice he was being requested.

"And should we be worried about her?" Gabby whispered to Renata while discreetly pointing a finger at River. "We have no idea who she is."

"No, but…" Renata brought her arms over one another, her tongue swiveling inside while she tried calming herself, "...she seems to know the Doctor very well."

"Doctor, for goodness' sake!" River got tired and motioned the Doctor to join her.

"Oh was I Pretty Boy?" he stopped to question his companions.

"Yes," Donna answered flatly then thought to the side for a moment. "Did that come out a bit quick?"

"Pretty?!"

"Meh."

Renata smiled at Donna. When the Doctor finally joined River at a different table, she was rummaging through her bag. She pulled out a dark blue book with the TARDIS pattern on the cover.

"Thanks," she said.

"For what?"

"The usual. For coming when I call."

The Doctor blinked, almost tempted to take his psychic paper out to reread the message again. "Oh, that was you?"

River smiled but it was one that led to confusion. "You're doing a very good job, acting like you don't know me. What did I do this time, according to Gabby?"

"Gabby?" the Doctor repeated, briefly glancing at the girl. Renata was keeping her and Donna busy in safe zones, as well as overlooking what the others were doing. "Why would she say something?"

"Well, one never knows with her but since she's always with Renata I'm always prepared," River grabbed her TARDIS colored blue book. The Doctor caught onto the extra emphasis River put on Renata's name and it didn't exactly sound friendly. "OK, shall we do diaries, then? Where are we this time?" she searched his face for any type of clue but all she saw was that he was very young. "So I'd say it's early days for you. So, um…" she opened her book and skimmed a few pages, "Crash of the Byzantium, have we done that yet?" the Doctor scrunched his face, giving her the answer she needed. "Oh, how about the Silva gemstone hunt?" The Doctor was silent. "Blimey, very early days, then. Huh, life with a time traveler, never knew it could be such hard work." She lowered her book and really examined the Doctor's face. She blinked when it hit her. "You're so young."

"I'm really not, you know…"

"Nah, but you are. Your eyes. You're younger than I've ever seen you."

"You've seen me before, then?"

River stiffened when a new realization struck her, the possibility of it making her shake for a moment. "Doctor... please tell me you know who I am?" The hope on her face made the Doctor feel terrible when he asked her who she was. He always remembered everyone he met, but River was not one of them.

An alarm rang in the room, but it was a strange type. Still, it made everyone in the room jump.

"Sorry, that was me!" Proper Dave cleared his throat. "Trying to get through into the security protocols, I seem to have set something off. What is that? Is that an alarm?"

"No…" Renata looked at Gabby and Donna, the answer right at the tip of her tongue.

"It's a phone!" Gabby exclaimed first.

"I'm trying to call up the data core, but it's not responding. Just that noise," Proper Dave explained.

"No buddy, that's a phone," Gabby wanted to walk over to him but as soon as she took a few steps towards him, Renata pulled her back. "Okay…"

"Let me try something," the Doctor headed for the terminal that Proper Dave was working on. He noticed the screen was showing the same symbol the security camera they'd found earlier had. Access denied. "OK, doesn't like that, let's try something else." He did a bit more tinkering and was relieved to see that this time the screen was brightening up. "OK, here it comes. Hello?"

The screen showed a little girl who looked perfectly normal, though very much confused. "Hello," she came closer to the screen. "Are you in my television?"

"Well, no, I'm, I'm... sort of in space. I, I was trying to call up the data core of a triple-grid security processor."

"Doctor, she doesn't understand that," Renata laughed at him and moved up to stand beside him. "Hi there sweetie," she smiled at the girl. "Is there an adult with you, by any chance?"

"My Dad is," the girl smiled back at her. She tilted her head suddenly, examining the pair on her end of the screen. "I know you! You were in my Library."

"Your library?" the two Time Lords repeated.

"The Library's never been on the television before. What have you done?"

Renata turned her head at the Doctor, her expression nearly asking him the same thing.

"I-I didn't do anything!" he exclaimed. "I just rerouted the interface…"

But the connection broke then.

"Who was that?" asked River as she walked on over as well. The screen returned to its 'access denied' bit.

"I need another terminal!" the Doctor decided and ran to where River had set up her station. There was another terminal beside it. "Keep working on those lights, we need those lights!"

"Is there anything we can do?" Gabby caught River by the arm but the moment she did River jerked away...almost in fear. It froze Gabby in her spot, but it didn't keep River at bay.

"I told you to never touch me!"

"I didn't mean-"

"Keep your butterflies off of me!" River's voice, though threatening, had an underlying shakiness. River soon met Renata's gaze and gave the Time Lady a cold glare. "She touched me so don't even start!"

Renata blinked with bemusement, something that further angered River. "I have no idea what you're talking about." River scoffed. "I really don't." Renata said calmly. She wasn't much for stand offs, especially with people she didn't even know. "But please don't yell at my friend. She hasn't done anything."

"Renée?" the Doctor called to the Time Lady. Renata's eyes lingered on River's glaring gaze, wanting to figure out the puzzle right in that moment but it was impossible. So, she walked away to reach the Doctor. "What was that about?" he asked her quietly.

"I don't know," Renata shrugged. "But maybe you'll find out considering she seems to know you...and very well by the looks of it."

The Doctor's brow furrowed at her accusation. "What are you trying to say?"

Suddenly, Renata saw them back in King Henry's palace with the Doctor accusing her of having an affair with the King. She was getting the same feeling, the same urge, to ask the Doctor. She didn't have the right to. She couldn't be even worse than what she already was. "Nothing, I'm sorry," she sighed.

"Renata," the Doctor started with a new nervousness that hadn't been on his face seconds ago, "I've been...I've been meaning to talk to you..."

Renata swallowed hard when she presumed where the conversation would steer to. In her attempt to look away, she spotted River's diary on the table. "What's that?"

"Hm?" the Doctor followed her gaze to the table and saw the diary. "Oh, uh, it's hers. It's her diary."

"It's just like the TARDIS…"

"Yes, I've noticed."

"Don't touch it," River came by to take the book off the table. "You're not allowed to see inside the book, it's against the rules."

"What rules?" frowned Renata.

"Yours," River made a nod at her then the Doctor.

"Ah." Renata wouldn't even question it then. She was about to turn away when books started flinging off the shelves.

"What's that!?" Donna ducked and yanked Gabby down with her before they were both smacked in the face. "Doctor!"

"I didn't do anything!" the man cried. "Did you!?" he set eyes on Proper Dave.

"No!"

"Doesn't matter who did it - someone stop it!" Renata covered her head with her arms.

The Doctor returned to the terminal without being hit - yet - and saw the screen were now blinking 'CAL'. "What's CAL?"

The books eventually stopped flying off, letting the crew and the travelers get back on their feet.

"This is beyond crazy," Gabby said after being able to stand again. "What's causing the books to fly off the shelves? The Shadows?"

"Don't be ridiculous," River rolled her eyes. "It's probably the girl."

"Begging the question of who is that little girl," the Doctor took in a deep breath. Nothing was making sense. "What's she got to do with this place? How does the data core work? What's the principle? And what's CAL?"

That last question River could answer. "Ask Mr. Lux. He owns the place."

"CAL, what is it?" he turned to the man in question, expecting an answer but instead god a sneer.

"Sorry. You didn't sign your personal experience contracts."

The noise that slipped through Renata's lips was not a kind one. "Humans!" she gestured to Lux as her prime example. "We're all in danger of dying but you care more about protecting a patent!? Doctor!"

"Yeah, alright, I'll give you that one," the Doctor raised his hands. Today was not a good day for humankind.

"I'm protecting my family's pride," Lux tried defending himself but his answer was no better than the first.

"Well, funny thing, Mr Lux, I don't want to see everyone in this room dead because some idiot thinks his pride is more important!" the Doctor snapped.

"Then why don't you sign his contract?" River made him pause where he was. Of course before he answered, she grinned mischievously. "I didn't either. I'm getting worse than you."

"Okay, okay, okay. Let's start at the beginning. What happened here?" the Doctor really tried focusing this time. If he couldn't figure things out from where they stood, but maybe if he started from the beginning, things could change. "On the actual day, a hundred years ago, what physically happened?"

"There was a message from the Library. Just one," River answered. ""The lights are going out". Then the computer sealed the planet, and there was nothing for a hundred years."

"It's taken three generations of my family just to decode the seals and get back in," Lux added.

"Did you ever think that was a clue not to open it?" asked Donna. If she saw three different, high tech locks on a door she would take that as something that shouldn't be opened under any circumstances.

"Um... excuse me…" Miss Evangalista tried to cut into the conversation but Lux shut her down without even sparing her a glance. She'd actually found something on the wall.

"There was one other thing in the last message…" River said after a moment. As soon as she admitted it, Lux threw daggers at her.

"That's confidential!"

"I trust this man. With my life, with everything!" River's certainty left various reactions amongst the TARDIS travelers.

Both Gabby and Donna were in similar states of surprise considering the Doctor had never even mentioned that woman.

Renata was simply stunned. She'd never met anyone who had that same belief in the Doctor. It saddened her a bit to realize that she - Zuriah - was no longer the only woman to have had that type of faith in the Doctor. You made everything happened, she blamed herself. He had no obligation to stay alone because she made the wrong choice. But it made her wonder just how well River actually knew the Doctor and vice versa. River was clearly from the future and Renata didn't even know what the future held for herself anymore.

The Doctor didn't know what to do with himself. He felt guilty that River trusted him when he really had zero clue who she was. She was so sure and yet clearly hurt that he didn't know her. That was time travel, unfortunately. Sometimes not everything happened in order.

"You've only just met him!" Lux barked but he was no match for River's voice.

"No, he's only just met me!"

"Um. This might be important actually…" Miss Evangelista tried once again but the conversation was too heated for any interruptions.

"In a moment!" Lux shouted at her and that was it for her.

River sighed heavily and went for her PDA left on the table. Better to get things moving before they were killed, after all. "This is a data extract that came with the message." She came back to the Doctor to show him the complete message.

He took it from her and saw the main reason they were in the building. ""4022 saved. No survivors."

"4022, that's the exact number of people who were in the Library when the planet was sealed."

"But how can 4022 people have been saved if there were no survivors?" Donna inquired. So far the building had been absolutely silent. Unless these people were seriously good hiders, the building was empty.

"That's what we're here to find out," River told her.

"And so far, what we haven't found any bodies," Lux added.

"Well that's good isn't it?" Gabby's question earned her some strange looks. With a nervous smile, she elaborated. "I meant, if there aren't any bodies yet, it means there's a chance they're still alive.'

"Yes but where are they?" River hurriedly asked but didn't give Gabby the attention to even listen to her theories.

Suddenly, Miss Evangelista screamed but the crew and the travelers realized that she wasn't even in the room.

"When did she leave!?" Renata asked after a quick, frantic search for her in the room.

"Never mind that, c'mon!" the Doctor led the chase for the source of the woman's scream.

They came to a lecture room but all they found was a skeleton on the ground...wearing the same spacesuit Miss Evangelista was.

"Careful!" the Doctor warned the group as they gathered around the skeleton. "Everybody, careful! Stay in the light."

"Because of that, obviously," Renata gestured to the skeleton then glanced at Lux. "You wanted a body, there it is."

"Is that...is that Miss Evangelista?" River was horrified to see what was left of her co-worker. As if she couldn't fully believe it, she grabbed her communicator built into her spacesuit and called into it. "Miss Evangelista, please state your current…" but at the same time she spoke, her voice was heard in the spacesuit of the skeleton. She lowered her hand and carefully walked up to the skeleton. She pulled out a piece of the spacesuit's collar from its back and revealed a communicator that was still blinking green. "It's her. It's Miss Evangelista."

"We heard her scream a few seconds ago. What could do that to a person in a few seconds?" Anita asked, though she wasn't very interested in the answers. All she was interested in was getting the hell out of there.

"It took a lot less than a few seconds," the Doctor murmured. He felt at sole blame. He'd been so focus on figuring out who River was that he...he didn't even see when Miss Evangelista wandered out.

Renata didn't have to be telepathically connected with him to know where his thoughts were. She scooted to his side and touched his arm, giving him a small smile when he looked her way. "It's not," she said softly, hoping he would take her words seriously.

It seemed like he did. He found his own smile that he gave her and took her hand from his arm to hold in his own. It was a small moment but a moment nonetheless, and it was enough to give the Doctor the same feelings he'd been getting about her lately.

'Hello?'

River blinked at the sudden call from Miss Evangelista, but she secretly thanked it for cutting the two Time Lords apart. It was just like Renata to play soft when the moment called for it, but God forbid the Doctor did something wrong. "Um, I'm sorry everyone, um, this isn't going to be pleasant. She's ghosting."

"She's what?" Donna didn't know whether she should be looking for a ghost around.

'Hello, excuse me? I - I'm sorry, hello? Excuse me?'

"That's...that's her, that's Miss Evangelista!" Donna wondered, for a brief moment, if Miss Evangelista was still alive somewhere. Perhaps the skeleton was a decoy.

"I don't want to sound horrible, but couldn't we just... you know?" Proper Dave made a gesture to cut off the communication, but River frowned at him.

"This is her last moment... no, we can't. A little respect, thank you!"

'Sorry, where am I? Excuse me?'

"But is that really her, though?" Gabby Miss Evangelista.

"It's a data ghost, she'll be gone in a moment," River sighed and reached for her communicator again. "Miss Evangelista, you're fine, just relax. We'll be with you presently."

"What's a data ghost?" Gabby y turned to the Doctor and Renata for the answer. She got a feeling the first answer was all River would give her.

"There's a neural relay in the communicator, lets you send thought mails," the Doctor pointed to the blinking green lights on Miss Evangelista's spacesuit. "That's it there, those green lights. Sometimes it can hold an impression of a living consciousness for a short time after death. Like an after image."

"My grandfather lasted a day. Kept talking about his shoelaces," Anita said with her head hanging low.

'I can't see, I can't... Where am I?'

"She's just brain waves now. The pattern won't hold for long," Proper Dave said.

"She's conscious! She's thinking!" Donna argued.

'I can't see, I can't... I don't know what I'm thinking.'

"She's a footprint on the beach. And the tide's coming in," said the Doctor.

'Where's that woman? The nice woman... is she there?'

"What woman?" Lux looked around but as far as he knew, Miss Evangelista barely had friends.

"She means... I think, she means me," Donna realized after a few seconds. She'd only talked to the woman for a few minutes but...she was nice, probably nicer than the rest of the crew.

'Is she there? The nice woman?'

"Yeah, she's here, hang on," River turned to Donna. "Go ahead. She can hear you."

Donna fervently shook her head. "No!"

"Donna," the Doctor inched closer to the ginger. "Help her."

Donna felt like she was being asked the impossible. They wanted her to talk to the dead? That was too much. "She's dead!"

'Hello? Is that the nice woman?'

"Donna, she's fading," the Doctor tried again. "It's just for a few seconds. Help her."

Donna sighed. "Yeah, I guess... I'm here." She only took a few steps towards the skeleton. "You OK?"

'What I said before, about being stupid. Don't tell the others, they'll only laugh.'

Donna felt like shooting the crew a glare for how they made that poor woman feel all the time, but what would be the point? At least they have the decency to look ashamed of themselves. "Course I won't. Course I won't tell them."

'Don't tell the others, they'll only laugh…'

"I won't tell them. I said I won't," Donna promised her.

'Don't tell the others, they'll only laugh.'

"I'm not going to tell them."

'Don't tell the others, they'll only laugh.'

"She's looping now. The pattern's degrading," River said once Miss Evangelista started stuttering. Eventually, she had to shut the neural relay down.

"That was... that was horrible. That was the most horrible thing I've ever seen," Donna covered her face for a moment to calm herself down.

River was glaring daggers but at nothing in particular. "No. It's just a freak of technology. But whatever did this to her, whatever killed her... I'd like a word with that."

"I'll introduce you," the Doctor was on the same level of anger as River. He stormed out of the lecture room, leaving the others to follow, and returned to their room. "I'm gonna need a packed lunch."

"Hang on!" River exclaimed and went to retrieve her bag. She seemed to know exactly what he would like and that was simply shocking for Renata.

"So are we ever going to figure out who she is?" Gabby quietly made her question to Renata and Donna. The Doctor was working on his own but River seemed to linger around him in case he needed some assistance. "And how she knows the Doctor?"

"She's a time traveler, isn't it obvious?" Renata folded her arms over her chest. She couldn't help the irritation towards River, but what else could she feel? She hated to admit that she was jealous, like she had any sort of claim on the Doctor. The disgust towards herself might have raised in that moment.

"Ren?" Gabby touched her arm. "Hey, whatever you think...it's not."

Renata shook her head, smiling sourly. "It doesn't matter, Gabriella. I have...I have no right." She turned away, about to walk when she felt the warmth again only this time it sort of...hurt. She made a face and raised her hands, only to stop midway with a yelp. Something hard hit her stomach from the inside. "Ah!"

"Ren, you okay?" Donna heard the yelp along with Gabby.

"Y-yeah…" Renata tried her hardest to keep her next yelp inside. Her face strained to keep her mouth shut, but the fact she was wrapping her arm around her stomach gave her up.

"Renata!" Donna reached over and turned the Time Lady around, gasping when she saw how pale Renata had gone. She even felt a crazy heat from Renata's arm, through the Time Lady's coat, and backtracked.

Gabby had seen the whole thing and panicked. She thought the worst. "Doctor!"

Hearing her call made the Doctor whirl around. "What!? Gabby!" He then saw Renata's current state and bolted for them. "Out of the shadows! Out of the shadows!"

"No, no, there's no shadows," Renata found her voice, although she had to take several deep breaths to continue talking. "They're just being-"

"She looked like she was in pain and she's really warm, Doctor," Donna told him, her voice going right over Renata's tone. "Is it a fever? Can Time Ladies get fevers?"

"I do not have a fever!" Renata shouted, far louder than she had intended to.

The Doctor planted a hand over her forehead - making her lean back a few inches - and immediately felt the heat Donna was talking about. "That is-"

Renata swatted his hand away from her and glared at Gabby and Donna. "I'm fine, stop being over dramatic." The pain had subsided like it never even happened.

"Yes, please," River may not have been right next to them but her sharp voice was enough to pull the group apart.

Renata didn't know whether to be mad with River for her attitude or to thank the woman for cutting them off. She touched the Doctor's arm and offered him a soft smile. "I'm really okay," she said in a whisper, but the Doctor wasn't very convinced.

He stepped closer to her, leaving barely enough space between them. There was nothing but concern in his eyes for her. "We talked about this," he reminded her. "We need to be very cautious about your health…"

He hated to admit that her health was declining, not noticeably but steadily. He'd done new exams after visiting King Henry and was startled to see that the energy was further mutating inside her. There was no clear reading that could tell the Doctor why it was happening and much less what it was becoming. But it was interrupting her daily life, he could see it. There were moments were Renata got tired easily without doing anything in the first place. Then there was the strange heat flashes, warmth that came directly from the energy levels spiking. And the gold flicker in her eyes...that's what truly let him see that there was something inside Renata. It scared him to the bone what was lurking through her insides, hurting her...

Renata cupped his face, offering him her best smile. She was doing what she did best: hiding her feelings. "I'm okay Doctor. Really. Don't worry about me." He looked at her for a long while then, as if he was about to leave, but instead he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead again. She was really hot. "Vashta Nerada," she reminded him. "It will kill everyone in this room. Don't stop for me."

The Doctor hated to leave her, but she was right. Vashta Nerada would kill all of them if they didn't get out and what good would he be to Renata if they were all dead? With a sigh, he nodded his head. "Donna, Gabby, you keep an eye on her alright?" he looked directly at the women, expression close to dark with a warning. They were not to leave Renata's side.

River watched the Doctor return to his work across the room and waited a few minutes before making her own way up to Donna, Gabby and Renata. "You're Donna?" she stopped in front of the ginger. There was a glint of fascination in her eyes, but Donna also swore she saw...pity? Was that right?

"Yeah, yeah, I am," Donna nodded. "But it's not like you asked us who we are, right?" her gesture at Gabby and Renata flew over River's head. "Something you want to say?"

"No, uh, well actually yeah…" River paused for a second, glancing at the Doctor with a soft smile on her face. "Thank you." Donna blinked, not expecting for River to say that out of all things. "Thanks."

"Come again?"

River returned her attention to Donna but her eyes flickered to Renata still preoccupied with her hands. "What's wrong with you?"

Renata blinked up from her hands and frowned. "Excuse me?"

"We are in danger and you're distracting the Doctor with something, no doubt, dramatic."

Renata was stunned at the woman's brashness. "I-I don't intend to-"

River scoffed. "Sure. Listen, if you don't mind, we'd sort of like to get out of here alive and you being dramatic is not going to help anyone."

"I wasn't!" Renata exclaimed. She balled her fists once the warmth reflourished under her skin. She really shouldn't be arguing with anyone right now. "Look, River, I don't...I don't know why you're so upset with me but it shouldn't be a priority right now, don't you think? It's like you said, we need to get out of here alive."

River visibly tensed up. Renata always did that. River despised the annoying talent Renata had to always rearrange things so that she came out looking right while the other person, usually River, came out looking like the bad person. Even now, she still had the stupid talent and it was infuriating. She had said they needed to get out first but somehow Renata repeated the same thing and now both Gabby and Donna were looking at River with disapproval.

Renata was a master at reading faces. She had to be in order to know how to best please them. Her family taught her how to do it and how to always pick up on the right quirks. Right now, she could easily tell that she'd just further irritated River...but she wasn't sure why. She could barely argue, she couldn't move around a lot...what could she have done?

"I'm sorry," she felt compelled to say but even that was wrong.

"Oh, of course," River seemed to be expecting that...and she was. At one point or another, it almost always came up. Apologizing. That always made Renata look better in front of people, in front of the Doctor. "Save it, he's not watching!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Stop it!" River snapped, getting more frustrated with each of Renata's attempts.

"You know what-" Gabby suddenly yanked Renata back, leaving the poor Time Lady to stumble backwards for Donna to catch, "-you need to back off!" She got right in River's face and since Gabby was smaller, she had to be on her tippy-toes. "Ren's not doing anything! You want to save people? Then go do it! Why are you being so mean? In case you haven't noticed, none of us-" she gestured to Renata, Donna and herself, "-know you! That means whatever you're mad about, we haven't even done yet. That makes you an extra type of prick."

"Gabriella, stop it!" Renata hissed and pulled the girl back, never having seen Gabby so worked up and much less having a stand off with anyone. She never wanted to see that even if it was on her behalf. "We are not going to waste time with silly arguments. I won't have it."

"It's funny, Gabby, you're so young. Nothing's happened to you but even now, you're still just like her," River's eyes flickered to Renata for show. Her previous hardness faded into strain. She wanted to appear brave, to be strong in front of those two women who were known to be strong. She was brave and strong and clever. She was really clever and she wasn't going to let some early baby versions of Renata and Gabby make her doubt that.

"Then that means I'm going to become a really good person," Gabby said confidently and glanced at Renata with a warm smile.

Renata blinked tears away. Her hearts warmed for a second with Gabby's utmost belief in her words. Gabby really thought that being like her would make her a better person.

"OK, we've got a live one!" the Doctor suddenly called, completely in the dark about the side conversation (or argument) that'd been going on. He was circling a shadow on the floor, careful not to step on it. "That's darkness down those tunnels, this is not a shadow. It's a swarm. A man-eating swarm." He used one of the chicken legs from River's lunch as bait for proof. He chucked it into the shadow and it was devoured before even hitting the ground. It left the entire group horrified. "The piranhas of the air, the Vashta Nerada. Literally 'the shadows that melt the flesh'. Most planets have them, but usually in small clusters. I've never seen an infestation on this scale, or this aggressive."

"What d'you mean, most planets? Not Earth?" Donna, along with Gabby, had an inkling feeling that it wasn't the case.

"Mmmm, Earth, and a billion other worlds. Where there's meat, there's Vashta Nerada. You can see them sometimes, if you look. The dust in sunbeams."

"Doctor, not to question your expertise but…I think we would've noticed if we had killer shadows on Earth," Gabby said, but her nervous smile faded with his long stare.

"Normally they live on roadkill. But sometimes people go missing. Not everyone comes back out of the dark."

"That's a lovely way to put it," Renata warned him with one of her own looks not to go into further detail. It was a fearsome idea that Gabby, nor Donna, were ready for.

"Every shadow?" River asked him, half curious for the real answer but the other half of her wanting to end such dramatics again.

"No. But any shadow."

"So what do we do?"

"Daleks - aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans - back of the neck. Vashta Nerada... Run! Just run."

"Run? Run where?"

"This is an index point. There must be an exit teleport somewhere," the Doctor searched the room rather urgently but settled for anything Lux could offer. The building was his after all.

"Don't look at me, I haven't memorized the schematics!" the man barked.

"You know," Renata stepped up beside River, "You can hate me all you want, but the one thing we can agree on is that he-" she nodded towards Lux, "-is no help at all."

"Mm," River hated to agree but she was right.

"Doctor, the little shop!" Donna had spotted a smaller room at the other end of the room. "They always make you go through the little shop on the way out so they can sell you stuff!"

"You're right! Brilliant! That's why I like the little shop!" the Doctor beamed.

"OK, let's move it!" Proper Dave exclaimed, ready to head out when the Doctor shouted for him to stop.

"Actually, Proper Dave, could you stay where you are for a moment?"

"Why?"

"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. But you've got two shadows."

Everyone's gazes immediately fell to the double shadows below Proper Dave. It definitely kept the man still.

"It's how they hunt, they latch on to a food source and keep it fresh," the Doctor muttered.

"What do I do?"

"You stay absolutely still. Like there's a wasp in the room, like there's a million wasps," the Doctor was very careful how he moved around the room. If the shadows were moving then any one of them could be next.

"We're not leaving you, Dave," River promised the terrified man.

"Course we're not leaving," agreed the Doctor. "Where's your helmet? Don't point, just tell me."

"On the floor, by my bag."

Anita retrieved the helmet for them and handed it to the Doctor. "Thanks. Now, the rest of you, helmets back on and sealed up. We'll need everything we've got."

"I would like to point out that we do not have helmets," Gabby cleared her throat to say.

"Yeah, but we're safe anyway," the Doctor said dismissively.

Gabby exchanged looks with Donna, both being confused by that statement. "How are we safe?" Donna asked him.

"We're not, that was a clever lie to shut you up!"

"Well, rude," Renata crossed her arms. "But he's not wrong so Gabby, Donna just...just stay with me alright?" The two women in question nodded.

"Professor, anything I can do with the suit?" the Doctor turned to River for help.

"We can increase the mesh-density, dial it up 400%. Make it a tougher meal!"

"Okay!" the Doctor pulled his sonic out and used it on Proper Dave's spacesuit. "800%! Pass it on!" he was about to hand River the sonic when she revealed her own...a rather familiar one though.

Renata nearly keeled over when she saw it. The Doctor was frozen in his spot while River went around the crew to sonic their suits.

Renata moved past Gabby and Donna to get closer, coming to a stop beside the Doctor just as River returned. "That's my screwdriver," Renata blinked.

"No, it's not," River said with a deep scowl.

"Yes, it is," Renata was sure of it. "It's my sonic screwdriver - fancier, but it is." And before River could deny it again, Renata pulled hers out as well. Both sonic screwdrivers were embedded with the same gold and white shades. River's gold was stronger and the tip seemed to be more high tech, but all in all it was the same sonic screwdriver.

River seemed just as stunned as Renata now. "How did…" her eyes flickered to the Doctor, accusing, "That was a cheap trick!"

"What?" he frowned, having no idea what she was going on about.

"You told me you made this!"

"He probably did," Renata murmured sadly. So much for being special.

The Doctor didn't know what was worse: seeing Renata's disappointed face, or seeing River's furious face. He himself was just...so confused. Why would he make a sonic screwdriver for River? He didn't go around making them just for anyone - by that logic, he should've made one for Gabby and Donna, or even Martha! How important could River be? And more to the point, why would he make one using the same schematics he used for Renata's?

Renata put her sonic away and sighed. "It's mine," she assured River. "But before you throw it away, if the Doctor gave it to you, it's because you would need it. Think about that, please."

Of course River was thinking about it. How stupid did Renata think she was? The Doctor never did anything without a good reason. She curled her hand around the sonic, gripping it tightly. She should've known better than to fully trust that he made the sonic all on his own. Renata would never let a project like that be done without her knowledge.

"Fine," River muttered and went on her way.

"Ren..." the Doctor tried touching her but she stepped away from him, an action that actually hurt. If she was stepping away then she didn't want to be near him and much less want him to touch her. And as of late, he discovered that he really liked to touch her. Hold hands, be close...

Renata yelped in surprise when the Doctor gently brought her from her side to his front. Her free hand had come to rest over his chest and her other hand seemed locked under the Doctor's free hand.

"You had fun?" the Doctor asked quietly though with his ragged breathing it came out a little louder than intended. They were both still trying to catch their breaths, they could feel it. Renata felt the Doctor's chest heaving up and down under her hand and since Renata's chest was pressed to his, the Doctor could feel her own heavy breathing.

The Doctor felt his breath leave him. What he would give to relive that moment again and not this one.

"We need to get them out of here," Renata's quiet voice pulled the Doctor out of his thoughts, missing the blush that crept over his face. He followed her gaze over to Gabby and Donna and realized she wanted to transport them back to the TARDIS. Neither of them knew what would happen with the Vashta Nerada around.

"You're right," he agreed. "Donna! Gabby! With us!" he made the motion as he and Renata led them towards the gift shop Donna pointed out earlier.

"What are we doing, we're shopping? Is it a good time to shop?" Donna understood his brain worked far differently than theirs but this one had to be a bad idea.

"That sonic...why was it like yours?" Gabby stopped to ask Renata that. She knew exactly that it was Renata's because she'd been there when the Doctor had made it. Granted she didn't know half the things that went into the sonic but the idea was the same.

"I don't know," Renata put on her best smile as she ushered Gabby onto the small platform of the gift shop. "Just stand still, okay?"

"Donna, you too," the Doctor tried to hide his grimness as he brought Donna over to Gabby's side.

"What is this?" Gabby looked down to the ground. There were odd circular patterns on it.

"It's a teleport. Stand in the middle. Can't send the others, TARDIS won't recognize them."

"Wait, what are you doing?" Donna started to look around more frantically.

"It's like Gabby said: you don't have suits, you're not safe!"

Gabby seemed to be closer to realizing what he was going to do. "Neither do you!" she exclaimed. "You and Renata are in as much danger as we are!"

"Thing is Gabriella, you haven't lived and you have no business being in this kind of danger. You and Donna are our number one priority right now," Renata smiled kindly then looked at the Doctor, giving him the nod to activate the teleport.

Donna's eyes widened. "Doctor, don't-"

But the teleport activated and pulled them out.

"You know, Renée-"

Renata raised a hand to stop the Doctor from even finishing his sentence. "Don't. I'm not going anywhere. I made that mistake once, I'm not doing it again."

The Doctor paused to give her a strange look, of course puzzled about her words. What could she have meant?

"Doctor!" River called from the other room.

The two hurried back and went straight to Proper Dave. They saw that he'd lost one shadow.

"Where did it go?" the Doctor quickly searched the immediate area. He pulled Renata's arm to bring her to his side. For the time being, that was the only area safe enough to stand.

"It's just gone. I... I looked round, one shadow," Proper Dave said

"Does that mean we can leave?" River urgently asked, ready to make a run for it. "I don't want to hang around here."

"I don't know why we're still here," huffed Lux. "We can leave him, can't we? I mean, no offence…"

"Seriously?" Renata glanced at River, gesturing at the man to prove he was still the only thing that could agree on.

"Yeah, fine!" River exclaimed. "Mr. Lux, shut up!"

"Did you feel anything?" the Doctor preferred to focus his attention on Proper Dave. The Vashta Nerada leaving him it made absolutely no sense, which made him drunk this was all a trick that would end with their lives. "Like an energy transfer? Anything at all?"

"No, no, but, look, it's, it's gone!"

"Stop there, stop, stop, stop there, stop moving! They're never just gone. And they never give up!" the Doctor sonicked the only shadow Proper Dave had. "Well, this one's benign."

"Hey, who turned out the lights?"

"No-one, they're fine."

"No, seriously, turn them back on!"

River was clearly confused but she wasn't the only one. None of them understood what was going on. "They are on."

"I can't see a ruddy thing!"

The Doctor straightened on his feet, expression even more dark than earlier. He had an idea of what was happening. "Dave, turn round."

Proper Dave turned back to the group but his face was completely in the dark. It looked like his helmet had it's visor tint back on.

"What's going on? Why can't I see?" Proper Dave helplessly asked. "Is the power gone, are we safe here?"

Renata swallowed hard. She liked to be realistic and seeing this… indicated what was about to happen.

"Dave, I want you to stay still, absolutely still," the Doctor warned but he caught the light stiffen that Dave suddenly did. "Dave, Dave? Dave, can you hear me, are you all right? Talk to me, Dave."

"I'm fine, I'm OK, I'm... I'm fine."

"I want you to stay still, absolutely still."

"No, Doctor…" Renata slowly walked up behind him, pressing a hand to his shoulder. He barely looked to her when Proper Dave started stuttering the same few words over and over.

The lights on his communicator were blinking, just like Miss Evangelista's was earlier too.

"He's gone. He's ghosting," River lowered her head with a sigh.

"Then why is he still standing?" Lux retracted a step for good measure.

"Hey! Who turned out the lights? Hey! Who turned out the lights?"

The Doctor attempted to move closer to Proper Dave but Renata gripped his arm. "Please don't," she whispered. Behind her, River pursed her lips together. She'd been about to say the same thing to him.

"Dave, can you hear me?" the Doctor he gently removed Renata's hand from his arm, his expression promising her that he would be careful.

"Hey! Who turned out the lights?" Proper Dave seized the Doctor's neck and gripped it with incredible force.

"Doctor!" Renata exclaimed.

Proper Dave's helmet was finally lit and it allowed for the others to see what was left of him: a skeleton. "Who turned out the lights? Hey! Who turned out the lights?"

"Excuse me!" River shoved Renata to the side and used her upgraded sonic on the skeleton. However, instead of the usual flashy lights like previous screwdrivers...this one released a particular interesting type of energy.

A swarm of golden butterflies emanated from the tip of the screwdriver and raced towards the skeleton. It was enough to force the skeleton to release the Doctor. The Time Lord coughed as the air returned to his lungs.

"Back from it, get back, right back!"

"Butterflies!?" River seemed even more outraged with her sonic than earlier when she discovered it was from Renata's schematics. "Are you kidding me!?"

"Those are my...my butterflies," Renata whispered in horror. She looked down at our own hands, remembering when the same golden butterflies that had surrounded her at Zhe's gallery.

"I hate butterflies," River gritted her teeth together.

"Let's go!" the Doctor yanked River back since she was too preoccupied with her screwdriver to notice Proper Dave getting closer to her.

"Doesn't move very fast does it?" Lux inquired about the skeleton's awkward manner of walking.

"It's a swarm in a suit. But it's learning," the Doctor said.

"Not very promising," Renata said then and not a moment later saw several shadows reaching out from proper Dave's body. They were coming for them. "As is that…" her voice shook with terrible fear.

"What do we do? Where do we go?" Lux frantically asked.

"See that wall behind you?" River turned around to face the group. "Duck!" those in question docked as she blasted a hole in the wall with a particular type of weapon.

"Squareness gun!" the Doctor laughed at their luck, but River focused on getting them all out of there first. They made a run down an aisle that was far too dark for their liking.

"You said not every shadow, right?" Renata's head wouldn't stop turning from one side to the other thinking that the next shadow they would come across would be Vashta Nerada.

"Right, but any shadow!"

"Hey! Who turned out the lights?" Proper Dave - or the Vashta Nerada - was following them and quicker now.

"And GO!" the Doctor yelled at the group who needed no other command to pick up their pace. The Doctor took Renata's hand and yanked her forwards, but even as they ran he could once again feel the insane heat from her skin. And when he happened to side-glance her, he was shocked to see how pale and weary she was.

As soon as they could find a refuge, the group sealed the door of the new room as best as they could with what they had. The Doctor left Renata somewhere she could rest, after sure there were enough shadows but her own, then hurried to the nearest lamp to get more light. River neared him a few seconds later.

"Trying to boost the power. Light doesn't stop them, but it slows them down," he said during a struggle with his sonic. There was light but a weak one.

"So, what's the plan? Do we have a plan?" Seeing his struggle, River used her own sonic to strengthen the light.

The Doctor eyed the golden white sonic. "Your screwdriver...it looks exactly like the one I made Renata."

Remembering that made River frown. "Yeah, I know. You tricked me."

"I did?"

"You said you made it but you never told me it was the same basic idea you used for Renata's first one."

"First one?"

River exhaled. "Sorry, spoilers. I just…I can't stand when you trick me like that, alright? You know I trust you with everything I have and…"

"Who are you?" the Doctor got tired of asking and never getting the answer. "I don't get it. I would never give a sonic screwdriver to anyone-"

"That isn't Renée, I know," River mimicked his tone then rolled her eyes. "That's why I can't believe I fell for it."

The Doctor inwardly sighed. His eyes flickered to Renata who seemed to be getting back on her feet, but still seemed very weary. "What's wrong with her?"

River briefly expressed confusion but she followed his gaze towards Renata. The Time Lady was once again studying her hands.

"How can I help her?"

River still didn't understand the question, much less the gravity of it, until she realized where in the timeline they were. "She's ill." She turned back to the Doctor. "This is when she's ill because...because she's been infected."

The Doctor winced at the word. Infection. How could he have let that happen? "I wasn't careful and she got hurt."

"No," River said sharply. "It wasn't your fault. She should've been more careful. Not everything that happens to her is on you, Doctor. Sometimes it's her own fault."

"How could you say that?" the Doctor frowned at her. "She didn't ask to be infected. She's innocent."

River almost laughed. "Ha! Renata is anything but innocent. Good people don't lead you on, Doctor. You know she's keeping a secret from you, right?"

"You're not supposed to tell me anything-"

"I know but I can't stand it! You always think that she's such a sweet, innocent woman but you never remember how you two started out: with lies. She's been lying to you, Doctor. Future you can be mad at me he wants but I know that I am right. I've always been right. But you…" she sighed as if she'd been tired for centuries now, "You have always been blind when it comes to her." That was her sad reality, a reality she'd tried to accept now that everything had passed...had been done...but it still made her angry just as the first time she learned everything.

"I don't believe that," the Doctor said quietly, though River wanted to believe she saw a flash of curiosity on his face. "So you're not going to tell me how to help her, then?"

"I don't know," River answered honestly. "I know about her getting sick but I don't know how she became...what she is later on." The Doctor narrowed his eyes on her, willing her to speak the truth. "I really don't!"

With a sigh, he turned away from her. He came to Renata and, without even asking, pressed his hand to her forehead. "You're still burning hot…"

"Maybe Donna was right, I am running a fever," Renata said with a weary smile.

Remembering their companions, the Doctor checked his sonic to make sure they were safe and sound in the TARDIS. His stomach churned when he saw that it wasn't the case. "They're not in the TARDIS."

"What?" Renata saw his horrified face.

"They're not there. I should've received a signal, the console signals me if there's a teleport breach."

"Well if they're not there, then where are they?" Renata leaned away from the table she was supporting herself on.

The Doctor had no idea. And that scared him. He ran to the nearest Node available to get some answers. "Donna Noble, Gabby Gonzalez. They're somewhere in this Library. Do you have the software to locate their position?"

The Node turned its head to the two, horrifying them with Donna's face planted right on it. "Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have left the Library. Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have been saved."

Renata nearly fell backwards if the Doctor hadn't latched a hand to her arm.

"Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have left the Library. Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have been saved."

"But how can it be Donna? How's that possible?" River came rushing up behind them.

"G-Gabby…" Renata knew very well that wherever Donna was, so was Gabby. "Oh my God, where are they!?"

"Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have left the Library. Donna Noble and Gabby Gonzalez have been saved."

"Hey! Who turned out the lights?" Proper Dave appeared in the aisle, ready to chase them again, but neither the Doctor not Renata had the energy to keep going when they had no idea if their friends were even alive.

"We have to go!" River called to the others. "Doctor, we've got to go, now!"

"But where are they!?" Renata shouted at the Node. "Where are Donna and Gabby!? Where are they!? Where…" she felt her chest burning with her yelling, or perhaps for something else, and leaned over.

"Renée!" the Doctor meant to help her but River yanked him back.

"We need to go!" she shouted, but his voice roared over hers.

"I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HER!"

Renata coughed horrifically, as if she were about to throw up. Her upper body was leaning down, hands on her knees, as she tried to catch a literal breath. She could feel the outrageous heat trying to burst from her again but she didn't know how to let it go.

"Renata, look at me!" the Doctor frantically tried to straightening her so he could see her face, but she shook her head and kept coughing.

"Doctor!" River called again. "It's coming!"

Proper Dave was dangerously close to them.

Renata coughed particularly hard one moment and widened her eyes when she saw a wisp of golden energy slipping between her lips. The first thing that popped into her mind was regeneration.

The Doctor saw it as well and gaped. "What the-"

River had angrily come for them both and grabbed them by the collars of their shirts. "We have to GO!" She was not going to let one die because the other was being dramatic. Tale as old as time!