#like idk what my issue is. ik I'm not smart but just get over it!!

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

I'm panicking a bit bc I've done barely any of the gilfest fights. I need to get over myself and just blast through them

[randomblack-girl]

I knew this guy with Uranus conjunct Mars in the 8th house and "it" was huge 😟

Siren in the 6th house have nice bodies

I feel like Jupiter in the first house wanna be thick so badly or they are but they usually have nice bodies

I might have already said this but chiron in the 6th house might have body insecurities or health issues the type to grow up fat then start eating healthy as they grow up or maybe they had bad skin and got into skincare

I hate to say it but it's true pisces placements do be lying especially ones related to the 3rd house/Mercury a friend of mine with Neptune in her first house admitted to lying for fun and an old friend of mine with Neptune in the 3rd house said she'd lie so people wouldn't know stuff about her (Scorpio rising) but I hate saying this because I have pisces/Neptune influence over my chart and I'm not a liar, but it is some of them.

There's definitely a connection between pisces/Neptune people and fishes, mermaids, etc my friend who has Neptune in the first house said she wants a little mermaid birthday party. They do look really good in a mermaid aesthetic, it's giving:

As a Scorpio rising I keep attracting Scorpio moons!!! And I love Gemini risings as a gemini moon and idk bout y'all but I get along better with people with similar placements to mine bc yk people be saying opposites attract...

What's y'all experience with Saturn in the 8th house men? Like what's going on down there? I'm curious 😭😭 I keep meeting guys with that placement I also don't know how to read this placement really, a lot of them seem kinda traumatized and closed off

People with Venus badly aspecting their asc usually think they're unattractive, it's sad

Ok so I have pisces Venus conjunct Uranus in a composite chart with this guy and we like each other but we live in different countries but he literally set the standard for my future bf 😭

On the list of hot voices is mars in the 2nd house. This guy ik has Capricorn mars in the second house and he sounds so smart and like a gentleman but hot at the same time. I also noticed he talks really slowly? Idk but I like it 😋. Sirene, Saturn, and Neptune also aspect his Mercury and neptune is in his 3rd house he has a pisces mercury too. I think pisces/neptune might make your voice nice, I have Neptune aspecting my Mercury and I've been told my voice is soothing. Ok I think Pluto makes a voice hot too because I'm noticing it's Venus, mars, and Neptune that keeps showing up in people's charts who have nice/attractive voices. Saturn can make them sound more mature and Jupiter can make them sound funny/be funny. Jupiter voices also sound deep and pisces/Neptune influence makes someone good with their words/poetic.

Idk if I'd say Scorpios look sexy/mysterious but I do try 😭😭 it's so hard though bc that's not who I am naturally I'm trying to just be myself though, I do notice I am just more reserved/quiet but that's when I'm not around friends or people I actually wanna talk to (Virgo 11th house) bc I don't really become friends with just anybody

I've noticed the connections I've had where the composite chart rising was Scorpio be deep/seem deep I love these relationships as a Scorpio/Pluto dom!!! I feel like we click and can talk about deep things like trauma easily

Idk the thing about tauruses and food is kinda right bc one thing about me...imma eat 😭 and I have a friend who's a Taurus moon who loves food

Let me tell you, having my Aphrodite and Lilith in Virgo and a pisces Venus the one thing I'm gonna do...is wear green, crystals, seashells, blue, etc ITS GONNA EAT EVERYTIME idc same with black but in terms of color? It's gonna be green, blue, and sometimes white (I'm still scared to wear white) but I love white too and omg don't get me started on grey and brown!!!! Or MATCHING SETS!? bye I want some juicy couture so bad!!! I love neutrals as much as I hate so say it bc it seems so basic but they're so easy to pair up and they look good together. But I'm trying to get into color and my favorites so far are green, orange, pink?, And blue also neutrals are easy because most likely it's gonna look good. Color can be complicated it's the same with patterns which is why I have a lot of basic tops now 😭.

Another thing I'm gonna do is wear tight clothes or crop tops 😋 and I honestly find it hard to not wear that or shirts that show cleavage now that I got a sewing machine I make everything a lil bit lower 💅🏾 and I love waist beads!! Emphasis on the stomach

And one time someone said "don't you think Tionna (me) looks good in comfy clothes" which is very interesting because taurus placements do look good in comfy clothes

Btw that picture came from Pinterest!

[prettyboykatsuki]

i’m so over this new era of newgen watchers of rlly anything if i’m being honest. i’m gonna sound gatekeepy and annoying but i’m willing to put up with it if it means i get to rant about this to someone who might understand. i just idk maybe it’s just me but i feel like back then interacting with media wasn’t this popular? not just anime but shows in general i’ll go as far as to say book and movies also? like before covid i know lots of people who would tell me they didn’t watch tv n i feel like after it specially with the rise of tik tok these new watchers don’t know how to interact with said media?? n demonize any kind of movie or show that isn’t ideologically pure?? like idk i just see people n maybe it’s cause i’m on tik tok a lot so maybe it’s on me but i just feel like they don’t know how to watch stuff if it makes sense?? n get fake morally outraged at anything n anyone💀💀 i feel like they never learned how to take the characters out of the context of a story n enjoy them as separate entities?? idk like watching media has become this pseudo intellectual experience where these creators pat themsleves on the back for saying a bunch of words that mean nothing rlly as long as they sound smart. n it’s pissing me off. of course i think there should always be some kind of discourse revolving the stories we are watching but idk💀💀 ik it’s not important what a bunch of teens think of a show i watch but also i’ve seen the power of tik tok n it can be a lil scary thinking about the way they can just influence public opinion if making a tik tok about colleen hoover got z library taken down n the guys who made the site sent the prision

HELLO ANON YOU SENT THIS MANY DAYS AGO AND I REALLY WANTED TO GET TO IT WHEN I HAD A BIT OF FREE TIME AND THAT TIME IS NOW

so the tldr for this is that i agree. like. i don't really think this opinion is gatekeepy at all and i think its one of those things that on the surface seems unimportant but it speaks to how society is function (or in this instance... not function)

there's like. a lot of layers to this particular issue that i think would be very difficult to dissect meaningfully on here but i will try my best to try and explain my viewpoint of what it is. i actually talked about it on my sideblog the other day and i think we're sort of harping on the same point

we're always talking about media literacy on this app and how it's important and a lot of the time - i get feedback from people saying it isn't that deep. sometimes i'm inclined to agree, but i think more and more i'm coming to terms with how people are becoming increasingly... dependent? on escapism and fiction to give them moral guidance and substantiate their own goodness.

it happens especially in teens, especially younger teens but i think young adults aren't exempt from this either.

and the reason i think this is happening is because because of late stage capitalism and the increasingly predatory attempts to market off of fandom culture through sanitization.

this obsession with ideological purity and the lack of empathy towards real human beings is basically one long response to that collective state of exhaustion. 2020 was a year that showed companies how profitable fandom could be and in attempts to increase that profit - there was action taken both in the production and marketability causing the actual processing of content to become extremely evangelical and morally pure.

late stage capitalism has also created a sense of isolation. in karl marx theory of alienation - he details this phenomenon better than i ever could. but the basic concept is that the larger the gap becomes between the proletariat and their labor, the more people will lose touch with their humanity. and in that their sense of self. we're effectively seeing that happen in real time, and it's explanation for all the invasions of privacy, casual bullying, and generally lacking sense of self that people experience.

when you take extremely sanitized media and people estranged from a clear identity - you create a breed of people who are aimlessly seeking to become part of something in order to reconnect. no matter how negative or dangerous (which is also why we've seen a major increase in violent and cult like reform / fringe movements). when production of that media is so fast and so easily available, you get people who are mindlessly consuming things and creating these incredibly pseudo-intellectual and nonsensical debates in order to feel connected to that false identity.

i don't think it's gatekeepy to point out that this is happening. this obsession with creating fake moral panic about problematic and entirely fictious media is doing almost exactly what it's supposed - which is taking away real and legitimate critique of the world around us by ensuring and reinforcing that ideological purity and goodness can be bought in sold much in the same way we buy a can of coke off the shelf.

if you watch the right movies, and read the right books and watch the right shows you can be good without any effort. that's what people are often convincing themselves of. because its both messy and exhausting to confront that goodness within a human being is deeply complex and easier to uphold these weird and impossible beliefs.

[brainrot-stitch]

Thinking of simpler times.. (rant/vent ig)

It's nice just to like

Be able to lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling and hear the crickets outside and no electronic noises. It reminds me of the 2 hurricanes that happened a few yrs back, and like I know it's fucked up to think about because it was horrible, but at the same time it was nice in a way idk how to describe well. It was miserable and hot but I was with family and didn't have to worry or stress about people or grades.. we just kinda existed for a while. I don't want more hurricanes to happen, that would be crazy, but I miss what came after.

Idk I think I've just been getting worked up over a lot of stuff recently and ik other people have it like so so much worse so I don't rlly like to complain abt it, especially in the gc, but nights like these where it's dark and quiet and calm just really get to me I guess. Nights where I can just think about everything and cry before I have to wake up the next day and repeat everything over and over and over. Every day is so bland and numb with sudden spikes of panic mixed in and at the end of the day I barely remember it. I don't remember so so much of my life that I think I should, and I don't know why I just forget. Weather something good or something bad happens I know it will eventually be faded and forgotten just as I will one day.

I'm not really big on being remembered, I've come to accept the fact of mortality and there will be a day where we will each be thought of for the last time and that is when we're truly gone. But for the short amount of time I am remembered, I don't want to be remembered like this. Like who I am and what I do and how I act right now. I don't know what I want to be remembered like, but it's not this.

There's so many issues that seem like the end of the world, that feel inescapable, and I know they're not. I feel like I'm either just being dramatic or gaslighting myself into believing they're bigger issues than they already are. Anything could send me into a spiral that night, from the smallest issue to the biggest one. Even if not, they still have an effect on my day to day life and I don't know how to fix it. And other people are always either confused or upset but they don't understand, and I don't know how to help them understand.

It's hard to care about my grades when there is literally no point and all I do is rot all day. Even if I did care I'm not smart enough to get a college tuition, and we definitely can't pay for it ourselves. They say it's gonna leave a permanent mark that people will see on my resume, but there is a good likelihood I won't make it past adulthood with the way things are going, so why should that matter. Plus it's so so hard to focus. Even if I try I get distracted or start daydreaming or The Thoughts come back. And people will say "oh just pay attention" or "just don't daydream duh" and I cant. Like I physically cannot I am unable to do so. Plus the daydreams happen at random half the time and then I'm not in school anymore I'm in another world and everything's either going really well with things I wish would happen irl or everything is going absolutely horribly and u can't stop it. They're like "just do your work it's not that hard" I hear what you're saying but you're not hearing me bro. I can't 'just do it' and nobody seems to understand that except specific strangers on the internet.

There's other issues too but I am too scared to share them on tumblr rn and I know this may seem kinda dumb but if I live on this will affect me for life but it's so so numb and I'm so SO tired allll the time and sleep never helps at all and I literally just rot all day...

Literally the only reason I take care of myself at this point is so people don't judge me and idk if that's normal or not but I'm assuming it's not.. like if I have to go somewhere ill take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face and put on perfume n shit but if not I will have a 'self care day' but idk if it's self care if the only thing I do is rot in bed all day and only get up to go to the bathroom or (sometimes) get food/water. I sleep so much and the days all blur together and it's so so so soo bad in summer. I think I have like reverse seasonal depression bc like when it's cold and dark and raining I THRIVE like never before (even if the constant tired doesn't go away, even if everything still sucks and I still hate the people I care about the most) it's just so nice. But in summer when it's hot and miserable and humid and my ac doesn't work and you can feel the mosquitos it is such a fucking low for me idk how to even describe it. When when we get the 2 months off for summer break it's so bad bro I think that's one of my lowest points excluding being in school when it's hot. If I didn't have church I know I would go those 2 months and not take care of myself at all and ik it sounds gross and it is and I hate it but why even try if I just fucking rot on my bed like a useless ass beached whale.

The crickets are gone

I miss them 💔

I don't get why it's so hard to sleep when I'm so so fucking tired or why I rot all day or why I'm so fucking angry and irritable all the time for no reason and it sucks ass tbh. And idk why I can't fucking do things like normal people can or why I think differently or why my thoughts are so fucked up and I disappoint the people I love. I don't really wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be here much longer, but I know I have to because if I do it it'll break them in ways they will never be able to fix, and I don't wanna be that selfish. I want to help people, I want to be confident, and I wanna make people smile. I want to be able to ignore the daydreams, to block out the characters in my head and The Thoughts that I hate so much, and I wanna stop doing shit like this when I don't deserve it.

But sometimes all you can do is find a cold, dark, and quiet place, and think for a while.

Sorry for the long post gang, see yall with a silly goofy post another day <3

[w1llb7ers]

MIKE WHEELER IK WHAT YOU ARE /HJ

People hate on Mike too much in my opinion, I'll always be a Mike defender. It's not just because I see him as a realistic teenager, but I see myself in him. He's the first character I've related to in a long time. The way he acts is how I used to act when I was struggling with personal issues (internalized hom*phobia).

Here's some examples of how I acted:

I lashed out a lot and closed myself off emotionally. I had bad anger issues at the time and they were so bad that people told me “Who are you? I don't recognize you anymore.” that sort of smacked me in the face and made me think about how I was behaving.

I pushed the person of interest (my ex best friend) away and tried to ghost them completely. I ended up being successful and now we hardly ever talk. We knew each other for over a decade and all it took for me to ignore them was the possibility of feelings budding in my chest.

I would literally go insane in my bedroom at night after a day at school because I hated the thoughts that ran through my head when they were around me.

I would stare at their lips randomly and tell myself: “You're just kiss deprived. Your boyfriend broke up with you a week ago.” I loved lying to myself.

Then, I left them on read for the last time and we stopped talking for 3 years. Never called. Never texted. And never met up. We used to hang out almost every weekend. The feelings got SO BAD that I actually dreaded them sleeping over. In fact, I lied to them saying “Sorry, I won't be home this weekend.” just because of this.

Therefore, when someone says “He'S sTrAiGhT NoT gAy!!!1!!” I can't help but laugh because 1) I know what it looks like to hate yourself for what you like. 2) If he isn't struggling with IH then he's just an ass and I can't be satisfied with that idea. His character is so much more complex than people give him credit for. If my assumptions are correct, the dufflebags didn't “ruin” his character. They made him go through things internally that would impact how he behaves. He's not just some guy that doesn't give a shit about Will anymore. He DOES give a shit. He is smart, not stupid. He may be clueless but he's got an idea of what is going on. He knew Will was crying (in my opinion), but he didn't ignore him. He didn't want to treat him like a “baby” like Will states in S2. He doesn't like it when people treat him like he's fragile. Even if he is at that very moment. Plus, there were other people around (ie Jonathan and Argyle). They weren't alone.

I know this isn't credible because I'm just some teen girl on the internet, but I know what my experience was like (having feelings for someone you don't want to have feelings for because they're not the opposite gender). And I see it in Mike. His actions, his everything. It's so CLEAR. Yet no one looks far enough into it to see it.

Sorry for the rant I just had to get it off my chest. Ik this isn't the cleanest/ most organized post. However, I am just speaking my mind here lmao no one has to agree with me. This was like a vent a bit tbh idk where it all came from. Thank you for listening!! :)

[darkcrowprincess]

even tho i feel conflicted lol i do agree w u ab nora and george. honestly the episode that makes me think that the most is the episode where nora tries to be a SAHM. ik it was played for laughs like "oh he's just lazy and loved the lunches she was making" but derek was REALLY happy that she was home all the time and I don't think he'd ever admit it but I do think he really actually just did love having an active/participant?? mom (bc I dont think abby was ever that for them I mean she doesn't even have partial custody????). not saying she should have quit her job and dropped everything bc that probably wasn't even possible financially honestly and I dont think they're like, bad PEOPLE, but there has to be a better way to handle this...... idk real life is complicated and we can't always be what we want to be and I have no idea what I would even do in their position and ur right when you say they're not the WORST, but still. I really don't know lol this is why I'm kind of conflicted but anyway yeah sorry for all this I just wanted to say I agree 😅

Oh I agree. Life is messy and you can't control everything. I'd get it for Abby and George if Derek and Edwin were planned and Marti was an accident. But if they all were planned. Heres the thing I'm not saying that you can't have kids and a career. However, having kids is a commitment. It stops being about you. Kids come first because anything you do or don't do affects them(For the Venturi family you times that by 3). You choose to bring up and rase this person. So if you have kids and a full time big career you need to be smart about it. Three kids with full time big careers is a lot. Especially if the timing and age of said kids are taken into an account(managing would be more easier if said kids were all closer in age and or older), derek was headed into being a young teen. Edwin is heading into middles schooler and baby marit. It's not surprising that Abby and George got a divorce. If they willingly had three kids with full time careers, than it tells a lot about who they are as people. If I had to guess if marti was planned, she was probably a lets try to salvage a our marriage with another baby baby. Of course didn't work. I also have to guess Abby was the one who worked a lot. And considering the time period( late 90s early 2000s). That is probably what started a lot of fights. My guess is George and Abby divorced because they both worked too much. Casey's parents (different situation but still problem because Casey and Lizzie are not close in age), probably because Dennis worked too much and Nora didn't see him a lot and or the kids if (I had to guess Lizzie is an accident baby). So when she isn't working she and Casey are probably doing a lot of the heavy lifting. During and after the divorce probably a lot was put on Casey and Derek to take care of their siblings considering no matter how Casey and Derek act towards their siblings they still 100% adore them. It's not ideal but as separate situations it could have been manageable( the situation probably would have been better if George and Nora stayed single or met and dated other people who didn't have a family and didn't mind that they did. But obviously not realistic). Nora and George in their infinite wisdom in four months( it would have been more understandable if they dated for at least a year) decided to get married and blend their families. Two teenagers, two kids in a middle school range, and a 5 year old. 5 kids with two adults with jobs. That means in the course of four months they quickly dated, liked each other, "fell in love" and got married. Lots of changes over the course of four months and after. So it's not surprising Derek and Casey have issues. Life is messing of course. But as the adults Nora and George should have done better. Especially since they both divorced parents. But again we are shown that they are oblivious and if I had to guess don't think things through. Which makes them emotionally neglecteful and or careless. Your right they are not bad people. But that doesn't make it ok( not saying you did. I'm rambling) Love your comment to me. I love rambling and the life with derek situation just makes me think.

[thisdreamplace]

Hi, what would you (or a general person) think/feel/act like if they were happily employed with a major paycheck?

I'm asking coz i feel blockage when I try to imagine living in the state of this manifestation. Fears of being incompetent at interviews and unable to answer questions properly or rambling crop up when I try to even imagine having that amazing job

Worse, I mean not worse, coz ik circumstances shouldn't matter, thing is idk idek the specifics of the ideal company or ideal job post of my desire

Ik I want eg:

an exorbitant salary (financial independence), even tho I fear I won't be able to negotiate at all (I'm not exactly a bargainer)

a role of responsibility where i can learn from the higher ups while inspiring those below, with a level of autonomy

Work that's not tedious or repetitive

So on and so forth

Even tho I don't have much job xp (again, Im prolly invalidating myself here, coz the fact is, I've come to realise even if I win a Nobel Prize, I'll keep feeling I haven't done 'enough'), I do have amazing, hard-as-hell-to-get qualifications (and again... I feel I'm not enough like wth whyyy? ;_; I've met so many people who've got half of these qualifications yet they're more confident and can actually flaunt that while I feel, not like an imposter, but ig worthless when compared)

The worst is Ive always freaking felt it in my bones I'm worthy of a higher role than my current self can achieve (by current self I'm referring to the fact that I do have issues eg nightmare interviews in the past hovering over me, beliefs of being incompetent or unqualified or being unable to answer difficult questions (since I was a child, I've been told, disparagingly alas, that I'm only 'book smart' and could only ace studies by 'rote learning', which is untrue. In fact thanks to that, I actually developed a memory issue whereby I'm unable to memorize stuff easily (btw one of my secrets to academic success has been understanding concepts, mind mapping it all mentally, having a solid grip over foundations etc. Ok I digressed) anyhow, I really do feel unprepared to answer questions (in fact one of my fears is being asked an intrusive question (like hey, why are you eg so pimply? (Btw I'm not, this is just an example) in front of everyone and being at the center of attention in that way 😱) so yeah, I hope you can sense the myriad of beliefs holding me back (and sometimes I feel nauseated to even think of 'facing' these beliefs or fears. Like, it's as I wrote to u rn that I realised I fear looking incompetent, except this case is so severe coz I feel like it's worthless if it's not done perfectly (or as near perfect))

So how do I manifest here? Hell, my mind starts hurting if I assert: okay, let's at least prepare, no, at least LOOK at a job interview question

Ik the Law says I can assume anything and that'll work. So how do I assume I'm, y'know, a confident gal who does not have the aforementioned state of mind? Or how do I defuse the root issues linked to childhood/past stuff? Or better yet, what state should I focus on assuming/taking on? I have no idea how to start. And thanks to analysis paralysis (it took me years to acknowledge this even) I'll end up prolly doing nothing then another month will pass by with me doing nothing and then I'll type another frenzied ask

PS: yep, Im aware of the self concept topic, but I hope u can shed some light on this specific matter at hand, kinda customized?

Ty

😰

So to begin with, scratch everything and literally focus on your self-esteem and your concept of self. No, you don't need a good self esteem to manifest, but I'm really passed pretending like it should be optional. Every one of us deserves to feel good about ourselves, for ourselves. And you're holding yourself back so much by not allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. I mean, you list how accomplished you are and yet it's still not good enough for you?

It's confusing because if you felt in your bones you were worthy of something better, how can you sit there and but yourself down so easily? Your reality is giving you what you actually feel worthy of. And it's not what you desire.

You're the only one holding yourself in this story. You know the law says everything is happening now, meaning all desired experiences and versions of yourself are available to you now. You tap into them by using your imagination and dwelling there. So, stop sticking yourself to this story that doesn't help you. You feel unprepared because you keep saying so. You keep replaying this memory of things going badly, when in reality there's not even a past. You're the one keeping it alive by being so consumed by it and thinking it's so real. But see, the past only exists in your mind. It doesn't exist elsewhere. And just like with everything else in our mind, we have the power to decide what is and is not so.

Plus, the comparison game has got to come to an end. Everyone is you pushed out anyway. A win for one person, is a win for all. Who are you comparing yourself to, besides a reflection in the mirror? There's no point. The more you let go of the old way of thinking and allow yourself to remember more and more who you truly are, the easier it'll be to let go of wanting to compare yourself all the time. It's literally your reality. It's your world and everyone else is just living in it. Seriously. You're literally at the center of your world. You're at the heart of it all, there is no one else but self.

Self concept isn't something to push to the side. I notice a lot of people know about it and then go, "ehh but what else is there?" Like, I did the same thing. And that's why my journey was full of detours when I could have just went straight to my destination.

How do you do this? Well, you do have some idea of who you want to be. I mean, I'm guessing you want to be the opposite of every undesirable trait/experience you mentioned? So therefore, (if you want to write it down, please do), you need to decide the mindset you want to focus on manifesting within yourself. Let the outer world be for a bit, it's time to focus on you and only you. Here's an article that gives an example of how to get clear on the version of you that you want to embody.

And then once you get clear on that, really, the only task you have is to wake up everyday and thrive to focus on keeping that mindset. Sure you might slip up, sure some days you may not do well keeping it at all, but it doesn't matter. You keep persisting and it gets easier and becomes your new normal.

You see, I like how Dylan James says manifesting is not a trying process because it makes sense. For example, you didn't try to end up with the experiences you have surrounding career right now. However, you manifested it due to your concept of self. Change your conception of self and without trying, that perfect career you desire will find you. It can be that simple. But we have to allow it to be. Plus, you really only need to focus on yourself. You don't need to have a list that consists of your must-haves in a job, or anything. (Unless you truly like to make lists like that.) Because the truth is, our desires are from God. Therefore, we never need to worry about telling our Godself what we want. Our Godself already knows. So if you are unclear, you can trust you'll be lead exactly where you want to go. Being specific or being general makes no difference and it's okay to approach manifesting with either one. You'll always come out successful no matter what. But the change begins within. There is no one to change but self.

Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖

[syubub]

Yoongi birthday reading

Okay okay okay. Yoongi my boy. Consider this an energy check up/ general how is this fine pisces boy doing on his birthday.

First things first, I feel like he is being censored in some way. Like he isnt truly able to say what needs to be said/ what he wants to be said. He feels weighed down by some chain. Maybe also guilty. I also feel that he is maybe feeling isolated and a little... disconnected. Whether this be from himself, the band, ARMY or maybe even bighit.

It's kinda like the money isn't cutting it anymore. Like hes tired of being successful. This is a weird thought but I feel like this applies. When you've struggled your while life to get to where you are, the second that struggle stops you feel useless? Like you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop because nothing is easy.

I definitely see him feeling alone or isolated. Maybe indulging in dark thoughts or vices.

As always with Yoongi, theres a spiritual undertone. He is def trying to suppress any gut feelings or intuition or signs. I can see him being like, "ugh, not now. I'm busy" and the universe is like :o

What I would advise our resident birthday boi to do would be meditate. Chill. Relax. Stop worrying about the things you have no control over (easier said than done ik)

Yoongi has done so much growing in just a few short years that I think hes tired of waiting for everyone else to catch up.

I see him taking refuge in his headspace and neatly tucking his worries and issues away in a box to deal with later. (Def have an image of him folding away his worries like he would with laundry)

He might be motivated to try some new things to help further his growth in his career or maybe pick up a personal hobby outside of music.

Channeled message

"Its okay. let what happens happen. It'll be for the best. Guide yourself to be where you need to be"

So. For those of you wondering how I channel and, "isnt that just bullshit?" And, "how can you tell that it isnt just the voice in your head?"

Well, I connect to whatever energy I'm trying to reach and I get mad visuals when I do it's like a little stream of pure energy and i just kinda follow that in my head. Sometime I see the person I'm trying to connect with, sometimes it's a really bright glob thing, sometimes it's their guides, it depends really. And for Yoongi specifically his little energy laser-looking thing is always a silvery blue or cobalt. It's very rarely been red too.

Anyway I digress. When I was doing this reading and connected with Yoon he had like long shaggy black hair and he was wearing red plaid pj pants and he would not look at me. He usually does. (This all sounds crazy and I realize that as I'm typing it out... but my mind uses visuals in order to interpret energy, so.) To tap into a person's energy to get a channeled message from the higher self/ soul or whatever, I visualize putting my hand out palm up and have them rest their palm on mine and I see words? Idk. That's just how my brain interprets.

Instead of holding my hand, Yoon put a silver box in my hand that had a key. So obviously I was like, "Yoongi, what the fuck?" As I was holding that little boxy key thing I got that channeled message. Idk what was up with that.

I whole heartedly think that that is his mantra that he repeats to himself.

So, to wrap up this mess. Yoongi needs to chill, maybe not drink so much or use it as a coping mechanism, yoongi is one intune mother fucker whi needs to listen to himself and his own advice. I feel like he is happy but there is a shadow that's going to catch up with him soon if it hasn't already. He just needs to deal with his emotions instead of solving them under the bed.

Yoongi is a smart man who will continue to be successful and probably rule over all of us one day.

Every day he seeks to improve his life and work on finding his happiness.

Happy birthday, Fish Boy.

[myinnerdemons97]

This week has been really rough on me. It was my baby brothers birthday this week and this year seemed harder than others. He would have been 18 this year and it hurts my heart he didn't get the chance to experience much out of life. I also got super busy and couldn't go visit his grave like a wanted to and now I just feel like garbage.

My older brother has his daughters for part of the summer and I want to spend as much time with them as I can but my brother is absolutely trash at respond and not being a smart-ass about it and it pisses me off and gets under my skin or he flat out ignores me and that makes me feel like literal trash because I grew up looking up to him.

Its June so my little sister's birthday is coming up but she cut me and our other sister off because of a bitch who does nothing but start drama for fun so ill be missing out on another year if her life.. and that still hurts because it was for no reason.

My other sister has her own issues and even though we are close I feel like I can't always come to her about my issues without causing her to go through her own issues. Its just not fair.

My amazing boyfriend tries so hard to be there for me but ik its hard on him when I talk about wanting to self harm and he has no idea how to even help me. I love him so much and I don't wanna hurt him by hurting myself. So I'm trying but its very hard because half of the time I feel like I want to die.

On top of all of that my lip ring fell out while I was at a movie (its still fairly new) and I lost one of the balls and it literally made me suicidal like it was the straw that broke the camels back because I don't have a back up ball for my piercing. Plus ALL the tattoo shops around me closed early even the ones that are supposed to be open super late and that made it worse so I've been crying about that for over an hour now and I'm terrified my piercing is going to close up.

If I wasn't going on a family vacation next weekend I 100% would have cut myself bad tonight. And I still want to and idk if I'm even going to sleep tonight even tho I have work tomorrow. The only reason I won't is so my dad and nieces don't see it. Ik I need help but I don't want to hurt other people in the process...

I'm just sad and angry and don't know what to do about it or with myself so I'm hoping putting it all out there helps a bit.