#like i would've left ages ago IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FEAR

[robinsnest2111]

manifesting a version of myself that is not his parents' little bitch. please come soon you glorious fucker and free me from this hell

[froggywritesstuff]

not so sweet 16th | rise!leo

ship/pairing: Rise!Leo x g/n!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic)

fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

warnings: crying, breakdowns, fear of growing up, definitely ooc but it could've been worse, slightly proofread

word count: 896

A/N: incredibly self indulgent, i had this exact breakdown the night before my 16th birthday a few months ago 

Leo sat up in his bed when he saw the message notification from you, his face screwing into an expression of worry as he read your text. It wasn't unusual for you to invite him over in the evening or at night. He didn't have to worry about someone seeing him if it was dark. But it was almost midnight, far later than any time you would've normally invited him over on a school night. He hurried out of his bed and texted that he'd be there soon. Slipping out of his pj's and grabbing his ōdachi, he wasted no time making a portal to your room, praying that his portalling skills wouldn't let him down. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when he recognised your room, but the relief disappeared as quick as it appeared when he saw your shaking body hidden under a blanket on your bed. He approached you cautiously, his heart sinking as he heard your quiet sobs.

"Hey," he says quietly, sitting on your bed beside you, "Everything ok?" most of your face was hidden by the blanket, but he could see you looking down at your lap, your hands holding onto your phone so tightly he was worried it would crack into pieces in your hands.

You just shake your head, tilting your phone screen his way and showing him a timer counting down with only minutes left. Leo saw it and the time on your phone clock and instantly knew why you were upset.

”Is this about your birthday?” he asked despite knowing the answer.

You nodded, swallowing nervously “I’m not ready to be 16.” he watched as you finally turned your head to face him, your tear filled eyes meeting his as the blanket fell onto your shoulders, “I’m scared, Leo.”

Leo wrapped his arm around your shoulder, wanting to be as comforting as possible while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, “What… why are you scared?” he asked, his voice as soft as it could possibly be.

”Because,” you breathed out, wiping your eyes, “15 to 16 is basically the transition from people treating you like a teenager to a young adult. People start expecting you to start thinking about adult stuff, like driving, and university, and it’s ok if you don’t know what you wanna do after school but also you should definitely know. And… I’m just not ready to stop being a kid.”

Leo felt your head lean on his shoulder, small tears beginning to drip onto his skin. “All this adult stuff, it sounds scary. But it doesn’t mean you have to stop being a kid. At least around us anyway.”

”In two years I’ll legally have to stop being a kid.” you spoke, your voice thick with tears.

Leo chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking before speaking, his hand rubbing small circles on your shoulder, “Well anytime you wanna get away from the law, you can call me, or Donnie, or any one of us, and you can hang in the lair with us. We won’t call the cops on you for watching cartoons made for kids, or falling off of a skateboard.”

Your body shook with a small laugh at his words, “Shut up, I don’t fall off anymore.”

A smile grew on Leo’s lips as he heard your laughter, “Oh you definitely do.”

”Well with a teacher like you…” you trail off, suppressing a smile as you hear Leo’s offended scoff.

”Wowww. Not even my age and you think you're better than me." he drawled teasingly, though his words held no ill intent.

His words drew a sigh from your lips, and your head tilted down to your phone screen, "Two minutes."

Leo's smile fell as he saw your entire demeanour change. He took a breath, before gently placing his hands on yours, slowly pushing the phone away from you, "Look. I... I know you're scared about all this, which I get, I'm not tryna tell you not to be. But I don’t think watching that will make you feel any better.”

”Yeah…” you huff, putting your phone down, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from your cheeks, “you’re probably right… do you have any other ideas?”

Without another word, Leo stood up from the bed, unsheathing his ōdachi and proceeding to wave it around, making you hold up your arms as a shield. With a slight woosh and a faint glow of the colour blue briefly illuminating your room, Leo turned to face you, his once proud demeanour suddenly defeated at the sight of your arms up in defence.

”Do you have no faith in me?”

At the sound of his voice, you rested your arms and shrugged at him, “There have been many portalling incidents before, you can’t blame me for being cautious. Also is that cake in your hands?” you changed your tone at the sight of the dessert in his hands.

”It is.” he sat back down, making sure to hold the cake up high above his head so you couldn’t reach it, “Unfortunately, it’s only for kind people who don’t mock me.” 

You frowned, "You can't make an exception for me? The soon to be birthday kid?"

Handing you one of the two forks on the plate, Leo sighed, the corners of his lips tilting upwards slightly, "Just this once."

[ahdraftingco]

Oneshot: Trouble

Pairing: Dark!Joel Miller x Innocent!Reader

AO3 Crosspost: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44157645

Summary: Ellie's gone. She ran away a while ago, after she discovered Joel's lie. It was a lie he had to make for his own sake because he couldn't handle losing her but still, he lost her. Now, he walks the wasteland alone, searching for purpose…and that's when he stumbles onto you. A bright, young woman who had gotten through the worst of it without losing her innocence to a world gone mad. If only you knew what was in store for you now that Joel has found a new person to latch onto…

Word Count: 8.2k+

A/N: As always, please read through ALL the warnings before proceeding: porn with plot, dead dove: do not eat (this story is not for the faint of heart so don't say i didn't warn ya), borderline non-con, dark!joel miller, loss of virginity, dom/sub undertones, age gap, use of the word "daddy"/"baby girl", bondage, forced orgasms, gunplay, praise kink, somnophilia, size difference, genuine fear/peril, death threats, cum play, rough sex, sexual coercion, squirting, breeding kink (unprotected piv, possible pregnancy/pregnancy talk), angst, mentions of violence, degradation, references to death

This fic will contain spoilers to TLOU Part One, so if you haven't played the game, please be aware that I will be referencing canon events. Hope you enjoy the sinister Joel I've made up and yes, I did based the physical description off Pedro Pascal's portrayal of Joel ~ ♡

It's been months since Ellie left Joel. He had gone out to look for supplies, since she had been sick. It wasn't until he got back and saw that she had taken up everything she could carry that he realized it had all been an act to let his guard down.

He had thought they were past what had happened at the hospital, since it's been almost five years, but the truth is…he knew what he had done was unforgivable. She was the cure. She wanted to die for the cause. She knew what she had to do but he was the one who wasn't ready to let her go.

This is the price he will pay for it.

It breaks Joel down more and more every day that passes as he scavenges the east coast, hoping he'll find clues of Ellie's whereabouts somewhere. Though, he taught her well, which meant he was almost certain she'd be hard to find.

If she's smart, which he knows she is, Ellie would've made it to the north before the winter began. That way, there's no chance of Joel ever catching up to her in the snow.

With a heavy sigh, Joel makes his trek up the state highway, weaving through abandoned cars. He'll be in New York soon. There once was a station there, but it quickly grew overcrowded and fell soon after.

Not enough food for people to eat, not enough protection for people to survive.

The infected would be roaming in the city, but Joel knew to avoid the densely populated areas. He didn't want trouble.

And yet, trouble always finds him.

Trouble had a name this time. Your name, though he didn't know it just yet.

Instead, as he watches you from a distance, Joel calls you baby girl in his mind, seeing how much younger you were than him. It was obvious you were older than Ellie though. You were an adult, a young one, but an adult all the same. It makes him wonder how you ended up here all alone.

You're humming to yourself, as if the thought of a threat nearby didn't phase you. It's a song he has heard before. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks. He can almost hear the guitar riff, but it wasn't anything he could play.

However, at this moment, he wished he could.

Seeing you happily whispering the lyrics to yourself as you take down your laundry fills Joel with a kind of desire that taints his soul. It's dark and twisted, the way he wants to bottle up your joy and keep it all for himself.

How could you be so carefree in a world gone mad? It's as if no one has ever hurt you before.

Maybe…you didn't even know the infected existed.

That's impossible, but it looks like you're completely self-sufficient. You have a lake house and he can see the fishing equipment. You also have a garden with rotating crops that are growing well despite the incoming winter.

Who taught you to live life like this?

Peaceful, alone, without a care.

Joel is almost…disappointed. He'd imagine if anyone else had stumbled upon you, you'd be taken easily. You were like the easiest prey for a hungry predator, since you were clueless to the danger you could be in.

It makes Joel want to protect you…but it also makes him want to own you. There's an insatiable need to show you how much you need him to keep you safe, from people just like him.

So, that's exactly what he's going to do. Joel will make you his. He will weave himself into your life until you can't possibly live without him anymore.

That way, you'd never leave him like Ellie did…

❅❅❅❅❅

Today's catch went swimmingly, as it always does. You reeled in enough to have extra to dry into tasty jerky. Winter is approaching and you start to see your breath in the air, knowing that a storm is brewing. You'll have to start chopping some more firewood to store in the basement in case it's an extra cold winter. The temperature has been dropping every passing year, while the summers have gotten hotter.

You're thankful you won't have to think about summer preparations right now. Having to deal with those forest fires took up so much of your time. Winter is destructive as well, but at least it requires you to stay in instead of slave away all day.

Another winter alone, though. You let out a sigh at the thought. How long has it been since everyone you loved passed away?

You're tired of burying people…

Last month, you had to clean up the house a few miles down the lake. You hated having to do it, but your parents taught you well. The moment someone died, you needed to put them out of their misery or they'd fester and become worse creatures than the resurrected undead.

So, you put a bullet in their head and dug a grave for them. Then, you would spend hours rummaging through their house for any supplies before giving it a good thorough cleaning. It was your way of laying them to rest.

You'll miss that man though. Neither of you exchanged names, but you would trade fish for some of his pepper plants. Sometimes, he'd have canned goods for you that he had made himself. You still have some in your basement now. That'll help for the winter.

All these thoughts help you get through deboning your catch. You light up your wood fire stove so you can make a serving of stew and start the dehydrating process. It isn't until everything is in the pot that you register the rustling outside.

Is that the wind or…no, it can't be.

No one ever comes around these parts. It's so hidden by the trees that only an experienced person would think someone lives out here. That's sort of why your parents bought this house. It was secluded in the best kind of way, which aided a lot when everything went to shit. You were born here, raised here and will likely die here.

However, you weren't expecting that day to come so soon. Whoever is out there…they won't hurt you, will they? Your nerves heighten as you walk towards your door, debating if you should grab your gun.

You don't, because the person knocks.

It's a gentle knock, just three light taps. You calm down a little at that. You figure if it was a malicious person, they'd just break down your door. You haven't ever encountered a malicious person before, since you try not to believe everyone is bad. The people you know have all been kind, despite everything.

You hope this person will be the same.

So, you open your door and…

"Hello there." The older man at your doorstep says in his southern accent. "I was just passing through and I noticed you had a fire going. I don't mean to bother, but would it be alright for me to spend the night here, away from the cold?"

You look the man up and down. He doesn't seem like a threat, though he does have a rifle on his back and a pistol tucked at his belt. He's wearing a brown jacket with a flannel underneath along with several other layers that look like they're getting soaked through from the light snow that's starting already. He has a patchy beard with some grays in it along with soft brown hair that matches his eyes.

The man doesn't look intimidating, besides the weapons he's carrying.

So, you do what your parents had always done when people stumbled upon your little house and tell him, "you can stay the night if you agree to bury your weapons somewhere outside. There's a shovel out back. Choose any spot away from my garden, please."

"I will happily take that offer, thank you." His voice is smooth and gentle, so you ease up a little as you watch him leave to go fulfill your request.

The man returns later with just his bag and as a show of faith, he empties it at the doorstep so you can see what he has in it. You notice how few supplies he has, so you sift through your cabinets for some spare canned goods.

"You can have these." You bring them to him. "I've got plenty."

"You're very kind." He gives you a brief smile before taking the cans from you. "Are you always this welcoming to strangers?"

"I wouldn't call you a stranger. You're simply a traveler passing through. Nothing strange about that in our world."

You quickly leave after you say that to give him a change of clothes, since his are soaked and the spare in his bag doesn't look very warm.

"Would you like to use my bath?" You ask, pointing over at the bathroom down the hall. "I haven't heated any water, so it'll be a minute, but you can take a nice, warm bath if you'd like."

"That sounds wonderful." He seems pleased with your offer. "You're a very good girl, treating me with such hospitality."

"We all deserve some normalcy." You leave him with those words so you can go start the fire for the bath water.

It takes around half an hour to boil enough water in intervals, since your stove is quite small and you can only carry so much water at a time. Though, the man, who lets you know that his name is Joel, helps with that, lugging the pot of water back and forth for you until the tub is filled. You tell him to take his time and that dinner will be ready whenever he's done.

When Joel finishes his bath, he meets you in the kitchen and you pour him a bowl of stew, which you invite him to eat by the fire. You've already eaten your portion so you opt to spend time organizing stock since the storm is coming in stronger than you anticipated. You haven't harvested your winter vegetables yet and you should probably do that now before they get buried.

"Something on your mind?" That southern accent sounds close now and you look up to see Joel standing beside you, empty bowl in his hand. "Thanks for the stew, it was delicious."

You smile, taking it from him so you can quickly wipe it clean and set it aside. Then, you answer his question with a light sigh, "I didn't expect the snow to start falling so quickly. I need to go out and salvage what I can from my garden before I'm snowed in."

"Can I help with that?" Joel offers and you shake your head.

"I can't ask you to do that. You just bathed, plus you're my guest."

"I can always bathe again. You shouldn't be out there alone right now. Let me help." His voice has this tinge of leadership in it that makes you want to follow him, so you eventually agree.

"Alright. In exchange, you can have some of the harvest." You make him a deal.

"Can I ask for something else?" Joel catches you by surprise with that. "Would it be okay if I stayed here until the storm ended?"

"Oh…" He's right. If the storm has started already, he'd be stranded out there if you kicked him out tomorrow.

But, is it really smart to spend an entire storm with a man you've just met?

You can't let him trek through the storm though, so you tell him, "if you help me with some repairs around the house, then you can stay as long as you'd like."

"I'd like that." His smile makes your heart skip a beat.

The rest of the evening is spent shoveling snow and pulling out as many vegetables as you and Joel can carry back and forth to the house before the storm gets significantly worse. You're both soaked head to toe and you're freezing once you both get back into the house. The fire isn't going to warm you up, so you'll definitely need a bath. But, you don't want Joel to get sick, so you offer to have him bathe first, but he declines, since you need to too.

"One of us is going to get sick waiting to bathe." You tell him as you start boiling the water for the bath.

"Then why don't we bathe together?"

Your ears must have been deceiving you and you turn to Joel, who is peeling off his soaked outer layer. He doesn't seem phased at all by what he just said but you're flustered.

"H-how would that work?" You're suddenly feeling warm all over, despite your shivering.

"It'll be like sharing a hot tub." He says with a chuckle. "Just keep your underwear on. I can keep my shirt on too, if you're more comfortable that way."

Now you're embarrassed for a whole other reason. Why did you just assume he meant getting into the bath with him naked? There's no way he'd ask that of you and you feel bad that you even thought such a thing.

"That would work. You don't have to keep your shirt on, but I think I will." You're too shy to be that bare in front of him, but keeping your shirt and underwear on is fine. He doesn't say anything else about it as you both start prepping the bath once again.

When it's ready, you realize there's another problem with this scenario. It's not all that big of a bath. How would you both fit?

"You'll just have to sit between my legs." Joel tells you while he strips. "I'll get in first and guide you into a comfortable position."

You let him take the lead, though you turn away when he pulls off his shirt and don't turn back until you hear him get into the bath. Then, you strip as quickly as you can, leaving yourself in just your shirt and underwear. Joel puts his hand out and you take it, letting him help you in. He has you sitting between his legs, with your back against his chest, and…it's oddly nice.

The bath water is very warm and your shirt rises a little since there's air under it, so you try your best to smooth it out, though that doesn't help much.

"Do you want to take it off?" Joel asks you, his warm breath tickling the back of your ear.

"I…" You would but… "I'm not wearing anything underneath."

You aren't the biggest fan of bras. They're only good when you're exercising or doing some heavy lifting and don't want your breasts to get in the way. So, you don't wear them regularly unless you feel the need to.

"I won't look." He rests his chin on your head. "I'll keep my eyes up so you can get comfy."

That would be nice. It's odd how easy things are around Joel because you feel like you can trust him to do as he says, so you opt to pull off your shirt, tossing it aside. It hits the floor, the wet sound echoing through the room. You adjust yourself so that your breasts are submerged beneath the water and when you tilt your head up, Joel has his lifted to the ceiling, not stealing any glances at you.

Though, it wasn't his eyes you should've been worried about. You hadn't noticed where his hands were resting until you felt one of them slide up to cup your breast and the other slips down into your underwear. You're about to say something but then Joel rolls his thumb over your nipple and you can't stop the light moan that leaves your lips at the sudden sensation.

"Does that feel good, baby girl?" He whispers right into your ear with such sultry affection. "Do you want daddy to keep touching you like this?"

Before you can reply, Joel presses a finger against your entrance and forces his way into you, making you gasp. Your toes curl when his finger does, filling you up so much out of nowhere. It's nothing like when you touch yourself and in combination with his other hand teasing your breasts, you can't hold in the soft whimpers from how good it feels.

You need to tell him to stop, but then he thrusts another finger inside of you and you cry out from how much he's stretching you out. You've never been this full before.

"You're so tight." That word lingers in the air and you're getting dizzy from his seductive tone. "Has no one ever touched you before?"

You shake your head, not knowing why you're able to answer him but not able to tell him to stop…

"Are you telling me this is all mine?" He pushes up against a spot inside of you with his fingers that makes your whole body shiver in reaction. "You're sucking me in, baby girl. I'm jealous of my own fingers."

There's so many questions you want to ask him, like why he's doing this to you and why it feels good even though you shouldn't want a random man you just met to touch you, but none of those questions can be asked when every breath you take is stolen by a moan or whimper.

Something's building inside of you, that tension you've only felt on occasion when you've been bored and masturbated. However, this is even more intense than those times, because you're not the one setting the pace.

Joel is aggressive with his touch, fingering you at a pace you wouldn't be able to. Then, every now and then, he spreads them, reminding you of how big his fingers are as they stretch you out.

You're on the cusp of your orgasm and that scares you.

Why are you about to cum from this?

Why aren't you stopping him!

"Don't hold it in." He urges you to let go. "Cum for your daddy."

You're not my—you can't seem to finish your own thoughts because he's forcing your orgasm onto you, his fingers ruthlessly grinding against that spot inside of you that makes you cum hard. You're thankful you're in the bath right now because you swore, you squirted for the first time. You've never came that much before, tears streaming down your eyes from the intensity of it.

The pleasure sears every inch of your skin, making it hotter than before and the steam from the bath isn't helping your mind calm down. You're getting lost in that daze and it's not ending.

Especially not when Joel keeps going and he adds another finger, spreading you wide open. You're gasping for air from how filled you feel and he must not like that because he takes his other hand and shoves his fingers into your mouth. You gag on them, not expecting to have his fingers invade your mouth, but he doesn't care that you feel that way.

Instead, he goes, "be a good girl and enjoy yourself."

You wonder how you're supposed to enjoy yourself when your mouth is as full as your pussy is but soon enough, you understand. Every moan you want to make is forced back down your throat by his fingers and it's hard to breathe like this but that just causes your body to tense up more around his fingers. They're hitting you so deep inside that you're going to cum again all too quickly.

You try to tell him to stop but your words come out all gurgled up from the saliva pooling up in your mouth since his fingers are playing with your tongue. You're practically drooling and you try to swallow, but that means you have to suck on his fingers to do so, which only riles him up more.

"That's good practice, baby girl." He encourages you to keep doing that to prepare yourself for something else. "I can't wait to bury my cock in this pretty little mouth and your tight wet pussy."

You're on the verge of tears again and you don't know if it's out of fear or arousal as you get closer and closer to your next orgasm. You don't want his cock anywhere near you but you realize then that he's been pressing his hard cock up against your back this whole time. If you thought his fingers filled you up, you were certain his cock would break you.

You start to panic, trying to shove his arm away from you so he can stop fingering you but that only angers him. So, Joel retaliates by pulling his fingers out of your mouth and wrapping his hand around your throat, squeezing it hard.

"Don't make me kill you." He threatens and you go completely still. "I don't want to, but if you keep misbehaving, I will."

"Please…" You sob out of pure fear. "Don't hurt me."

"I would never want to hurt you. You're my precious girl, so don't make me do anything I don't want to, okay?" He lightens his hold on your neck then and you inhale as much air as you can, trying to find your composure. "You're going to cum for me again and then I'm going to take you to bed. Understood?"

You don't want to say it but he'll kill you if you don't so you nod and tell him, "I understand."

"Address me correctly when you're talking to me." His fingers press into your neck, as a little warning.

You swallow your nerves then go, "I understand, daddy."

"Good girl. Daddy likes it when you listen." He gives you a soft kiss on the cheek, changing his tone all too easily. "Now, let me spoil my baby girl."

You brace yourself as his fingers curl their way back inside of you, going much more gently this time. Strangely, it's not enough to get you close. His pace is too slow, too soft, and you're trembling from how much you want him to be rougher with you.

"Say what you want." It's like he can read your thoughts. "Tell me and I'll do it for you."

You shouldn't say anything but your body is craving that feeling too much, so you give in and say, "more, please. I want more."

"Do you want me to go faster?" He asks as he does exactly that and you nod profusely. He suddenly slows though, so you know what you have to do.

"Yes, daddy, please go faster." You say what he wants to hear and he ramps up the speed again, giving you what you need. "Please don't stop, I'm so close…"

"I want to see it." Joel growls in your ear before you hear a pop and the plug in the tub is no longer in place. The water suddenly drains out rapidly and you stiffen at the cold air hitting your warm skin. "You better cum a lot for me."

You don't know what he means until he starts to move his fingers side by side inside of you and you squirt uncontrollably, screaming from how forceful he is at drawing your orgasm out of you. You can't think straight because you can't stop cumming, every orgasm gushing out of you against your will.

"Stop!" You shout because it's too much, you're too sensitive now and you're going to pass out. "I keep cumming, I keep–"

"That's good." He slowly corrupts you. "You want to keep cumming. You want to drown in the pleasure only I can give you. Enjoy it, baby girl."

And you do.

You hate how much you end up enjoying it, bathing in such bliss. It consumes you completely…and you faint somewhere along the way. You've never felt so good before. Your body can't handle it and you pass out from the high…

❅❅❅❅❅

Joel dries your hair for you while you're unconscious. He likes how peaceful you look, having fallen asleep to the orgasms he gave you. He wants you to look like this everyday and he'll make sure it happens.

A sweet girl like you deserves to be treated well.

Maybe that's why he can't resist touching you in your sleep. Joel watches as your chest begins to rise and fall more and more with every gentle stroke of his fingers. You're getting so wet for him now. He wonders what you're dreaming of and if he's in it.

He'd like to be. He wants you to only think of him. He's the only one that you need. He's the only one that matters. No one else will take you from him.

Joel refuses to make the same mistake twice. He loved Ellie like a daughter, raising her to be a strong woman. A woman strong enough to leave him in the dust because of a lie he made.

So, he has to be more careful with you. You're malleable, he's certain of that. You'll need some persuading, but you'll listen to him. First, out of fear, but eventually, out of love.

All he needs to do is tie you to him the only way he knows will work…by making you fall for him.

❅❅❅❅❅

It isn't until you wake that you realize your body is still heated from all the orgasms. You're aching from the waist down and you wonder why…until you see Joel between your legs, his tongue dragging up and down your pussy like he's starved for your taste.

How long has he been…you can't even formulate the sentence because he flicks your clit with his tongue and you squirt just a little from how overstimulated you are. A whimper leaves your lips because of it that draws Joel's attention to you and he smiles, happy to see you awake.

"How did you sleep?" His voice is so eerily calm…

You're unsure of how to answer that, so you ask back, "did you sleep?"

He nods. "I slept great, holding you in my arms."

"How long have I been asleep?" You're confused…

"A little over two days."

Your eyes widen at his words. Have you really been passed out for that long?

"Why are you down there?" If you've been asleep, why is he touching you?

"I needed to make sure whenever you were awake that you'd be nice and ready for me." He teases your entrance with three of his fingers before slipping each one inside of you slowly.

You brace yourself, expecting for the sudden stretch to hurt but…it doesn't. His fingers feel thick inside of you, but it's not anything you can't handle.

What did he do to you while you were asleep…

"You're almost ready for me, baby girl." His thumb presses lightly on your clit when he says that, sending shivers through you. "I've opened you up as best I could."

"Please, Joel…" You plead to him. "I don't want this."

"Your body says otherwise." He tells you as he curls his fingers and you nearly cum just from that. "See, you want this. Why are you running from it?"

"You're not giving me a choice." He's throwing himself at you and you're unable to stop him.

"I did give you a choice." Your breath catches in your throat when you hear the safety of your pistol flick off and Joel presses the barrel against your bare chest, right where your heart is. You only notice then that you're completely naked. "Either I kill you, or you enjoy my touch. I had assumed you'd chosen the latter, but if I'm wrong…"

His finger hovers over the trigger and you shake your head profusely, not wanting to die like this, not when his fingers are still teasing your insides. It's unbearable, the weight of the gun on your chest while his fingertips drag along that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl.

So, you succumb to the scenario you've found yourself in, "you're not wrong. I want this. I'll enjoy myself. I promise."

"Then, cum." He commands, keeping the gun steady on your chest. "Show me you're being honest."

You bite your lip and choke back your own dignity as you grind your hips against his hand, thrusting his fingers inside of you the way you need them to. You gasp when he starts to follow your rhythm, pushing you closer to the edge. It's a great distraction, because you barely notice the way he's trailing the pistol up your chest, but you're well aware of it when it brushes against your lips, forcing you to part them open.

Before you can beg him not to, Joel rests the barrel of the pistol in your mouth, the cold metal coating every one of your taste buds. You gag a little when he drags it against your tongue, but you can't focus on it while his fingers are inside of you. Tears start to stream from your eyes out of sheer terror and the most warped and frightening smile curves on Joel's face the moment he sees you.

That's when he undoes the safety of the pistol yet again and rests his finger on the trigger, his voice more menacing than ever as he goes, "cum for me right now or I'll blow your brains out, baby girl."

Every muscle in your body tightens at the threat and that's all it takes for the tension in your body to explode. You can't tell if you're screaming or moaning as your orgasm ripples through you violently, locking up every sense with nothing but pleasure. You can't feel, you can't see, you can't think.

All you can do is cum because that's what he wants from you.

Relief washes over you when Joel pulls the gun out of your mouth and tucks it away behind his back. His fingers release you from their hold and an empty feeling is tainting your mind. You've been so full for so long that it feels…wrong to be hollow.

How much has he corrupted you? How long is he going to stay until you're exactly what he needs you to be?

His baby girl…

You need to get out of here. You need to run. You need to fight Joel for your life back because you can't be his.

And yet, you can't find it in yourself to shove him away.

Not when he's whispering so softly to you, "good girl, that must've felt great. Let me make you feel even better now."

It isn't until you feel the tip of his cock press against your pussy that you snap back to the reality of it all. You're going to have your first time right now and he's going to fuck you raw.

The last bit of rationality courses through you as you plead, "please, don't do this. I don't have any condoms, I don't want to–"

"It's okay, darlin'." His southern accent sends shivers down your spine. "This is what you were meant for. This is what your body craves. Just let it happen and I'll take care of you."

You claw at his chest the moment he starts to force his way inside of you, his cock stretching you out more than his fingers did. You've never felt this kind of pressure before as he opens you up with every thrust. He doesn't like that you're trying to fight him, so the next time you shove at him, he smacks you right across the face. You gasp at the feeling and he pushes more of himself inside your swollen pussy then, smiling.

"You're so tight and yet you're taking every inch of me." Joel suddenly grabs you by your hair, pulling you forward so you can stare at the way his cock is slowly disappearing inside of you. "Almost there, just a bit more."

"Let me go." You cry out, wanting him to take his hand out of your hair. "Please, it hurts."

"Grab onto the headboard and I will." He makes you a deal and you listen, wrapping your hands around the metal.

His hand leaves your hair, letting your head drop back onto your pillow, and you relax just a bit. It doesn't last though, not when he pulls out a piece of fabric from his pocket and binds your wrists.

"Now, hold on tight, baby girl." His hands rest at your hips now, gripping your flesh. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

You don't understand what he means until he pulls his cock out of you and rams it back inside, hilting all of a sudden. He's too deep, too big and all too much for you.

You try to say something but he raises his hand at you before you can, instructing, "if you want to speak, you better address me correctly or I will have to teach you a lesson."

You swallow at his threat, your throat going dry. Goosebumps rise on your skin and you're scared to say anything but you want him to be gentle. He'll break you if he keeps being this rough.

So, you stuff your pride away and beg, "please go slowly, daddy."

His smile softens then, liking how you've listened, and he rewards you by rolling his hips, letting you get used to him being inside of you, grinding himself back and forth against every spot that makes your pussy tingle.

It's starting to feel good and that's frightening because you're biting back your whimpers. You can't enjoy this. It's wrong. He's taking you by force and yet your body is desperate enough to meet him halfway, wanting more.

"Does my baby girl enjoy being fucked?" Joel adjusts a bit so that he can thrust upwards into you, hitting that spot that makes you see stars. "Tell me you do."

You keep your mouth shut, not wanting to say a word, and he doesn't like that at all. So, when you're right at the cusp of your orgasm, he pulls out of you, leaving you struggling against your restraints.

"If you want it, say it." He starts to rub his hard cock against your pussy, teasing your sensitive clit with the tip of it. It's torture because it's not enough to get you there.

You need more. You need him inside of you.

Joel takes his time to torment you, dipping into you just a bit before pulling out, dropping his cock over and over again on your pussy, rubbing circles around your clit.

Eventually, you can't handle the denial anymore so you cave and go, "please fuck me. I want to cum."

"Say it again." He wants you to embarrass yourself further and your skin burns from it.

"I want to cum. Please fuck me. I need you, daddy." You add on, hoping that's enough.

It is, because the moment he thrusts inside of you, you cum. You cum all over his cock and he rewards you by fucking you harder, making your orgasm even more intense. You're gasping for air because it doesn't seem to stop. You're throbbing inside and every thrust sends such waves of pleasure through you.

"You're milking my cock so well." He praises you. "Someone's desperate for my cum."

Your eyes widen when you realize he must be close from the way he's pumping into you and you panic, "please cum outside, don't cum in me."

"How am I supposed to cum outside when you're not letting me go?" He tries to pull out but your pussy is gripping onto him too tightly.

"No, don't, please." You can't get pregnant. You can't have a baby with a man you've just met. You can't…but he won't let you decide otherwise.

"You'll feel so much better once you're all filled up." Joel reassures you in the worst way possible. "Soon, you'll beg for it."

There's no way you would. Why would you ever want such a thing?

"Enjoy it." He says sweetly to you, looking at you with such affection. "We won't be able to fuck much when you're pregnant, so it's best to make every time count."

You want to ask why he wants you of all people, a random girl he met in the middle of the woods in the winter, but you're certain he won't have an answer. Perhaps this was all just bad timing and even worse luck.

It doesn't feel like much at first, when he finishes inside of you. It's hot and it spills out of you when he pulls away. Joel takes his time, pushing as much cum as he can back inside of you. You hate the orgasms you have from that simple action.

It isn't until the second time that it feels…primal. You can't explain it, but when he's fucking you like a feral animal, you find yourself leaning into it. Your body isn't in tune with your mind anymore. It's not listening to your pleas because it knows it feels good to be taken by him. He never hurts you unless you do something he doesn't like, which is rare. He only ever wants you to feel pleasure.

Days go by of this, of just…constant breeding. You will sleep, then wake up, fuck, have breakfast, fuck, have lunch, fuck, do house chores then fuck in the shower afterwards, then eat dinner which always ends with you bend over the dining table because you're the meal he's actually hungry for. This cycle repeats until you get your period.

The disappointment on Joel's face stings. It's like you failed him. You couldn't give him what he wanted. You don't like the feeling…but a tiny voice in your head reminds you that you shouldn't want to please him anyways.

During your period, Joel teaches you how to suck his cock, since he can't fuck you. As a reward for learning, he caters to you, helping you with your cramps, rubbing your belly when it aches, cuddling you like you're the love of his life. It's…jarring, to say the least. You'll go from him fucking your face to him caressing your back and whispering sweet words to you.

Run. That tiny voice yells into the abyss that is your mind right now. Run far away from here.

You want to listen but…where would you go? You grew up here. You don't know anywhere else. This is your home and he's the intruder.

An intruder who's making himself at home.

"Does your stomach still hurt?" Joel asks because you've tensed up against him, your thoughts influencing your nerves.

"A little." You lean into his chest, not because you want to, but because he's warm and the winter has been cold. "I'll be okay."

"You'll always be okay, baby girl." He presses a soft kiss on your forehead, taking in a long breath before saying, "I'll keep you safe."

Safe from who? You wonder, because you aren't safe from him…

❅❅❅❅❅

Another month passes and you're late. You counted the days, mainly because Joel made you, and you're late. You've never been late before, which can only mean…

"We won't know for sure, but we can find out." You suggest. "There's a convenience store a few miles up. There's no food there, but there's plenty of pregnancy tests. I remember seeing them."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, hoping he'll take the bait. Please say yes.

You need to get him away from your house. You need to kill him but you can't do it here. You need to do it somewhere he isn't familiar with.

A place where you know a gun is hidden.

"Better to be sure." Joel agrees to the trip. "But you're coming with me."

"Okay." You knew you'd have to. "I'd like to walk with you. It's a nice hike, now that the snow has melted."

The rest of the day is spent preparing for the day trip. When it's finally time to sleep, you're surprised to feel Joel's cock harden behind you as he spoons you. He rubs himself against you and you hate how your body reacts to it, leaning into the feeling.

"Just to be sure." He whispers to you and you know what he means. He doesn't have to say much else.

You feel him nudge you until you're on your hands and knees and he's situated behind you, pulling down your pajama pants. Joel lines his cock up at your entrance and in one single motion, he fills you to the very brim. You can't hold in your moan, not when his body is pressing down onto you, engulfing you completely as he starts to pound into you.

"How does it feel to be mine, my sweet baby girl?" He asks, his hips meeting your ass perfectly.

"So good." You don't lie because you know it'll be the last time you do this with him. "Please don't stop, daddy."

"Never." He says, grabbing you by your hair so that he can kiss the back of your head. "I wouldn't dream of letting you go."

With his hand still in your hair, Joel continues to fuck you from behind, tugging you back to meet him. His lips on yours are sloppy, but you kiss him back, feeling connected with him on all levels. Your body moves against his in perfect harmony and you drown in the moment

It isn't until he whispers the words "I love you" that your heart pinches just a bit, remembering the reality. You're going to kill him tomorrow, this man who loves you in a sick and twisted way.

"Fill me up." You whisper back, giving him something else, since you can't give him your love. "I need you, Joel."

That's enough for him to finish inside of you, the heat spilling into you in waves. His cock pulses inside of you for a few moments before he pulls out and lays back beside you.

You go back to the way you were laying before, and he spoons you to sleep. You wonder what it'll feel like to sleep alone, now that you've slept with someone for this long.

You're going to miss it…maybe even him too…

❅❅❅❅❅

Now that the snow has thawed, the ground is much less muddy. You still had to wear your boots, which aren't uncomfortable but they're harder to run in. You don't think you'll need to run but…you want to stay prepared.

Joel tells you a bit more about himself on the walk to the convenience store. You're unsure if you want to know more about the man you're about to kill, but you can't refuse him, so you listen.

You don't expect him to tell you about Sarah…but now everything makes sense. Perhaps, he's been waiting for a chance to make things right. To raise a child who won't end up dying in his arms and leaving him forever.

You clutch your stomach when he's not looking, scared of your own mind. Scared that the tiny voice in your head is now whispering guilty thoughts…

You can't. It's not reasonable to have a child in a world like this. Especially not with a man like him.

You say that, but Joel has warped you in a different way. You won't lie and say you won't miss him when he's gone. It's hard not to miss someone you've spent the last two months getting to know in more intimate ways than two normal strangers would.

As a war breaks out in your mind, you and Joel get to the convenience store. The front glass is shattered, but it's always been like that. Looters at the very beginning of it all broke it, which is why there's moss going on the shards that were left behind. That's what your parents told you.

You miss them more and more with each passing day. They were well-prepared to have you, knowing they've set up a little oasis in the middle of disaster.

You can't have this child with Joel. You're ill-prepared to be a mother. You're unsure if Joel would even be a good father, even if he claims that's all he wants to be.

Would a good father taint someone else's daughter the way he has tainted you?

You hold back your sigh as you and Joel walk over the glass to get into the store. It's a small store, so it's not difficult to find what you're looking for. You wonder if these will even work, since they probably have an expiration date, but you just have to know.

For your own sake, more than Joel's.

Once you've packed a fair amount of pregnancy tests into your bag, you tell Joel that you've stashed some canned goods behind the counter in the off chance you might get stuck out and about, and you wanted to check if they were still there. It's not a lie, but you stashed a gun there too.

So, you go to the floorboard you hid everything under and pull it open and—

The sound of a gun's safety flicking off freezes you in your tracks. You swallow, hard.

Fuck, did Joel figure it out? You're too frightened to look up, scared that you'll be staring into the barrel of a gun.

But then, a new voice appears and she goes, "step away from her, Joel."

You glance up then and your eyes meet the girl's for a second. She's young, maybe barely eighteen, and yet she wields the gun you had hidden in the floorboards like she's used to handling them. That thought should worry you, but you're more worried about how she knows Joel.

Did he…do something to her too?

"Ellie, please." Joel pleads, his hands up. "Don't take her away from me."

"I know what you did to her." Ellie has her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot him. "I saw what she put in her bag."

"She's pregnant. We're going to be a family." He tries to reason with her. "Come back with us. We have a home. You'll have a little brother or sister soon. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"You're sick, Joel." She gestures for you to come over to her and even though Joel's eyes pierce into yours to stop you, you still make the trek over to her. Once you're securely behind her, she continues her harsh words to Joel, "you don't know what it means to be family. Family wouldn't do this, wouldn't do the things you've done."

"I can change. I can do better. I'm sorry."

You've never seen Joel so weak before. The once scary man that held you captive is now cowering before this girl.

"Sorry won't bring them back." Ellie tells him and you wonder what she means by that. "So, don't come looking for us. I'm taking her and I'm leaving now."

"Please, don't take her." He begs, his voice cracking as he goes, "I love her."

You open your mouth to say something, but Ellie stops you. Maybe she knows what you're about to say, or maybe she just doesn't want you to say it back to him. Not that you would…right?

"This isn't love, Joel." She tells him for you. "Whatever this is…it sure as fuck isn't love. I'm sorry. You did this to yourself."

The moment those words leave her mouth, she shoots Joel. You cover your ears at the sudden sound as it echoes through the quiet.

You hear Joel scream and you realize then that Ellie didn't shoot him in the head. She shot him in the leg, so he couldn't catch up to you two.

"We have to go, now." She grabs your hand and you both start to run.

Run, that voice comes back in your mind, run and don't look back.

❅❅❅❅❅

You and Ellie take a break once you're a good distance away from the convenience store. You give her some of your water, since it looks like she's low on supplies. She asks you about what happened and…you tell her. Not in full detail, but enough.

"That fucker." She seems angry at Joel for more than just what he did to you, but you won't pry about what exactly.

"Who is he to you?" You ask Ellie, wanting to know that instead.

"He's trouble. The kind of trouble I need the strength to take care of before he hurts anyone else…" She says, the anger leaving her voice as a sadness seeps in, "but I'm not strong enough yet. I couldn't kill him…but I will one day."

You can tell she doesn't want to, and you understand why. You might be the only one out there who understands her because you feel the same way.

There's no way Joel isn't looking for you two.

So, your journey with Ellie begins. You're both on the run from Joel, but also finding the will to hunt him too. All while wondering if he's imprinting himself onto you the way he wanted to.

You press your hand on your stomach and chills run through you.

You should've known Joel was trouble the moment he walked through your front door…

A/N: I've always wanted to write a villain!joel since I feel like it actually fits his character a lot, if he was given the right set of circumstances. I also am a big fan of the "I need to kill him before he kills me" trope, but with a twist! The addition of Ellie in this part makes me really happy and gets my mind rolling. The latter half of this one-shot is very plot-heavy, which is new for me but I kind of like it? It really builds up to a possible sequel! So, if you're interested in a sequel, please let me know! This really does have the potential to be a whole series ♡

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 2

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javier is 40 and reader is 27), talks of baby loss, talks of pregnancy, angst, cheating, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Rating: +18 (not explicit)

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

A/N: here you go guys!! Second chapter is up!! I'm feeling so much better from my stupid cold. I would like to keep a schedule with posting, my goal is to post at least one new chapter every week but I had a cornea transplant less than 5 months ago (I still have 14 stitches on my right eye) so sometimes I need to rest my eye from screen time or the pain sometimes gets too bad and I need to rest in general, so I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal every week, sorry in advance. I hope you guys like this new chapter!! <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

Javier wipes the sweat of his hands on the front of his jeans for the fourth time in the last hour since he started getting ready to go to Maria´s house, he looks at his reflection on the mirror, he can feel fear engulf his body, fear of disappointing Maria, he wasn't the same man he was when he left for Colombia. That day…

His mom, Alma, had been diagnosed with lung cancer four months before it happened, when Lorraine had told him that she was pregnant, he was shit scared, how could he be a father? He didn't know anything about being one, he was only 27, he assumed that he had at least 5 or 6 years more before even thinking about having a family of his own.

He didn't hesitate to get on one knee and proposed to Lorraine, part of him was happy that his mom would be able to meet at least one of her grandchildren; the doctors had already prepare them for the worst, the cancer was very aggressive, and even if his mom was still young, only 44, they had detected it very late.

The night before the wedding Lorraine showed up at his parents ranch, crying her heart out. They were sleeping in different houses since it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. He got really worried, he didn't believe in that tradition, she had been the one very keen in doing it so it was already rare that she had showed up there unannounced but even more that she showed up crying.

“Lor? What happened?” he had been sitting on the front porch when she appeared, he got up from his seat quickly and headed to her putting his hands on her cheeks “What is it Lor? Is the baby okay?” he asked her with so much worry in his voice.

Lorraine only kept saying sorry and shaking her head no again and again. “Please baby, tell me what is happening, are you hurt?” he pleaded her.

“I'm sorry Javi… I'm so sorry… There´s no baby…” she said, not able to meet his gaze.

“What? Baby…” he could feel tears in his eyes already, he thought that she had lost it, he never would've thought that she had done what she did. He tries to make her look at him ¡. “Baby…Lor, look at me. Baby it's not your fault, we need to take you-” he was interrupted by her.

“No, Javi… There's no baby, there never has been a baby…” she took a step away from him, feeling shame in what she had done.

“What? Lorraine, this is not funny… Stop it” that was the only possibility in his head, she must have been pranking him, she would never hurt him this way, she loved him, right?

“I'm so sorry Javi, baby…” she tried to reach for him now but he didn't say anything and just walked inside without a word.

The next morning no one could find Javier, until his mom saw a little note on the kitchen table where he had written that he had accepted the job with the DEA in Colombia that the rest could be explained by Lorraine.

You were only 14 when you were sat down by your mom and Alma and got the news about her sickness, that was your first heartbreak, but definitely not your last. You loved Alma like a second mother, she was there when you said your first words, she had been the one encouraging you when you took your first steps… You couldn't imagine a life and a world without her, without her smile or her kindness… No, it had to be a mistake, the doctors mixed up some papers and they gave her the diagnosis of someone else, she couldn't leave you…

When Javier left, you weren't given the real reason from the adults around you, they told you that he and Lorraine weren't together anymore and he had to go work in Colombia, that was it. Obviously, living in a place like Laredo you heard the truth very soon, and felt heartbroken all over again for him, as big as your crush for him was, when you saw how excited he was when he talked about anything related with the baby in the weekly dinners your families shared, it filled your heart to see him just happy, so you couldn't understand how Lorraine had been able to break him like that, she said that he loved him and wanted to spend her entire life with him but then do that? How can you be so cruel to someone that you supposedly love?

A year later from Javier´s move to Colombia, Alma passed away, you only remember crying for three days straight without even sleeping. You remember your mom telling you that “Javiercito is coming for the funeral, he'll be here tomorrow morning”, then the next thing you remember is been dressed in all black, that made you think that Alma would´ve hate it, then not been able to see the casket through the tears and the last thing you remember of that day was how Javier had put his arms around you, caressing your hair and telling you how much Alma loved you and that would never leave you. It never did, you could feel her love everyday, in little things like the chirping of the birds outside, the warm sun, the little desserts you would bake with her recipes, etc…

That was the last time you saw Javier, when you were 15 and crying for the biggest lost in your life.

He parks his truck on Maria´s driveway and gets out with a nervous sigh. After he knocks on the door twice, you open the door with a big smile, fuck, he thought you wouldn't be here. He didn't have a problem with you being here, on the contrary, he was very happy when he saw you the other day, it had been way too long without seeing you. But the problem was that you had grown up… And fuck, did the years had treat you amanzingly. You were a full on woman now, and he didn't like that, because it made his body feel things that it shouldn't. If Maria or his own father could read what had gone through his mind since he first saw you a few days ago, he would definitely be six feet under.

“Hey! You're here!” you say with that big smile on your face. He doesn't say anything, just nods and gives you a tight smile back.

“Come in!” you move a little to give him enough space to come inside. “Mom is still cooking what must be her twentieth dish” you chuckle. He slips inside but you hadn't anticipated how broad his shoulders were so he bumps one of his shoulders into you.

“Oh, sorry” he apologizes and you can't help but feel a million goosebumps all over your body. “She shouldn't have trouble herself…”

You shake the feeling away, you weren't a stupid teenager anymore. “yeah, tell that to her” you smirk knowing he would never dare.

He walks to the kitchen with you behind, he remembers the way as if no time has passed, as if he hadn't gone through more than a decade without putting a foot in this house. When he makes it past the arch of the kitchen, he sees your mom, her back facing him, he can see the grey conquering her whole hair. For a moment he can almost see his own mom beside her cutting some vegetables.

Seeing his silence, you decide to clear your throat to make your presence known to your mom. She turns around starting a sentence that sounds like a question about who was at the door, but as soon as she sees Javier there, before her, her mouth shuts and she freezes. Knowing they'll need a moment, you walk around them to the stove to continue to stir whatever dish your mom is making now, so it doesn't burn while they catch up.

“Javiercito!” she almost screams, launching herself into him, a hand on the back of his head and the other arm across his back.

“Maria…” is all that he can get out of his mouth, apart from the biggest breath out that he has ever let out. He didn't even know that he was holding that breath for so long.

“Déjame verte bien mijo (Let me get a good look at you, my son)” she pulls away from him and pushes him a little back by the shoulders, then looks him up and down like she was examining that he isn´t missing anything.

“Ma, esta bien, no le agobies (Mom, he's fine, don't bother him)” you say from the stove, not even looking at them.

“¿Bien? (fine?) Have you seen him? Está demasiado delgado, gracias a dios que prepare suficiente comida. Siéntate, mijo. (He's too skinny, thank god i´ve prepare enough food. Sit, my son) I'll bring you some food right away” She says, patting his cheek and signaling with a hand to the kitchen table, then she goes back to the stove and replaces the place you were filling.

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief. “Do you want something to drink, Javi?” you ask him while opening the fridge to get a beer for yourself.

He talks again after feeling overwhelmed by the situation. “Sure, whatever you´re having” with that you pull out another beer for him and after uncapping them, you hand him one. “Thanks” he says, not meeting your eye.

You sit across from him on the kitchen table and take a sip of your own beer. Your mom puts a bowl of Pozole in front of each of you, and while you eat, she and Javier talk about a million things, how things around the house had been since your dad died, how you and her go to Chucho´s every now and then, how you help Chucho everytime the fruit trees need harvesting (which brings a blush to your cheeks when Javi asks if that's right and looks at you), and of course your mom starts to let Javi know about all the gossip he has missed in Laredo, which by his face, he couldn't care less to be honest but i guess your mom didn't want to pick that up. He just nods and hums while eating, while your mom tells him about how the girl from the Gonzalez´s was seen in the local theater every week casually talking and giggling with the guy working there; after a bit something pricks his ears, specifically when your name is mentioned.

“And you wouldn't believe all the commotion that it caused , pff, nos tuvimos que quedar en casa varios días antes de que ella se atreviera a enseñar la cara (we had to stay at home for a few days before she was brave enough to show her face)” she says while picking up both of your bowls to bring to the sink. You don't know where to hide in that moment, you couldn't believe your mom was telling him about that.

“Ma…” you say, trying to make her drop the subject. She obviously doesn't want to catch your desperation.

“What? Sorry i was lost in my head for a moment” he says not realizing that you don't want the subject to be brought up.

“Ay mijo, te estaba diciendo (i was telling you) about how she used to go out with the Lopez´s boy, Diego, and she heard from Doña Lucía about him and a girl, that no one knew, been seen in Jacinto´s ice cream shop, then she decided to confront him that same day, but she instead saw him and the girl on the town square just there,” she makes a dramatic gesture with her hands like she was physically pointing at them right there. “just sitting on a bench, muy acaramelados los muy sinvergüenzas (very lovey-dovey, those scoundrels). Doña Lucía told me that she just took the lemonade in the girl's hand and threw it to him, allí delante de todos, ¿tu te crees, mijo? (in front of everybody, can you believe it, my son?)” she shakes her head in almost disappointment.

“Well, if I'm honest with you Maria. Creo que le hizo poco, yo le hubiese dado un buen puño” you can see how his hands become fists, and his jaw becomes more tense. Javi feels a fire inside of him that he hasn't felt since he left Colombia, he already knows that if he crosses paths with Diego Lopez, he won't be exactly kind towards him.”Wait, he cheated and you had to hide at home?!” he asks, now looking at you.

“I didn't hide, she did” you say pointing towards your mom, who's washing the dishes, with your head. “I was just going through a breakup like a normal person” you shrug your shoulders to try to take some weight off of the conversation.

He nods, understanding now the situation. “Good, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, it's his loss” he huffs “He must be as stupid as he was when he was a kid” he says more to himself than to you, it makes you blush again.

“Javier Jesús Peña!!” your mom scolds him from the sink, turning her head towards him. Javi for a moment feels like a teenager again, being scolded by Maria and his mom for saying a bad word in the kitchen of Pena´s ranch while they make empanadas.

“What? No podes defender al desgraciado, hizo daño a nuestra vampirita (you can't defend that bastard, he hurted our little vampire” he chuckles sincerely now. You gasp at the mention of your old childhood nickname he gave you for being obsessed with the book Dracula when you were 9 years old.

“You don't want to play that game, Peña” you challenge him, squinting your eyes at him, but a little smile in your lips betrays your facade. He laughs with his whole belly now, throwing his head back. You decide right then that you like seeing him laugh sincerely a lot.

After some hours of more delicious food and banter, Javier informs you that he needs to go back to the ranch before his dad comes looking for him for leaving him all day alone with the chores.

You walk him to the door, his arms full of mountains of tupperware full of leftovers that your mom had insisted him to take for himself and Chucho.

You open the door for him since he has his hands occupied, those hands that you´ve been stealing glances to all day, you wonder how rough they would feel around your own hand, around your neck, around your- “Thanks for um… everything” he says interrupting your thread of thoughts.

“Don't mention it” you give him a shy smile, like he could´ve read what you had been thinking. Next thing you know, your mouth is working by it´s own mind, you ask without thinking.”Are you going to the barbecue at Doña Lucia's house this Sunday after church?” when you realize how eager your voice sounds about the prospect of seeing him again in less than two days you add “I believe she invited Chucho the other day, and i'm sure she did it in person with the sole purpose of having you at the barbecue and confirm the rumors of you being fully back home” you chuckle trying to play it cool, god you felt like you were 15 again, drooling for him.

His dad had told him about the gathering but he wasn't planning on going, but now, seeing the slight spark your eyes got when you asked him about his possible attendance, he couldn't think of a better plan for Sunday. “Yeah, my pops told me the other day. I take you´re going too?” you nod with doe eyes and he can't help his eyes for going down to where you tongue tips out of your mouth to wet your lower lip, he gulps and can feel a drop of sweat going down his spine; his mind wondering how you tongue and your lips might feel against his own, against his neck or his chest…

Your mom suddenly yells your name from inside the house. “Dani is calling you, mija!!” you both can hear her voice coming from the living room where the telephone is.

“Dila que voy ma!! (tell her i'll be right there mom!!)” you yell towards her, turning your head over your shoulder, then you turn towards Javi again. You guys keep looking into each other's eyes for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time until you decide that if you don't stop it, your mom will come over and ruin the moment even more. “I'll see you on Sunday then?”

He nods and then does something that makes you melt into a puddle of water into the ground, he kisses your cheek and with a breathy and deep whisper wishes you a good day to then turn around and walk to his truck on the driveway. You can't help but to stay right there frozen with your heart going way too fast and an almost shocked expression, watching how he puts the leftovers on the passenger side then gets behind the wheel and drives away; it isn´t until your mom calls your name again that you defroze.

Next chapter

[stevesxyellowxsweater]

Waking up in Vegas {Chapter 2; Eddie}

PAIRING: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader WC: over 2000 CW: Minors do not interact!! No use of y/n, use of she/her pronouns, slow burn, hints of abuse, swearing, i think that is it. SUMMARY: Enzo's 8O'clock, you're off to meet Eddie. Some very unexpected things are about to happen AUTHOR NOTES: Here it is everyone, the first part of Waking up in Vegas, feed back is very appreciated. Also reblogging is very much encouraged. Thank you once again to @entermxnson for literally being the character I base the reader off, (well as a mix of her and her fantastic Original Character that I love very much) Also for reading this as I write it, and giving me feedback. You're truly wonderful and I love you so much. Credit to @cafekitsune for the amazing dividers, i seriously love them.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Your clothes are thrown all over your bed. You didn't pack for Vegas, thinking you'd be going on a date with a rockstar. Was It a date? Could this be classed as a date? You'd looked up Enzos after Wayne had told you. It was a rather fancy place, and you didn't have much in the way of fancy clothes in your bag. 

Finally, you decided on a pair of fishnets under a pair of shorts and one of the few non-band tops you had in your bag it would have to do. The outfit you'd chosen was typically only to be worn with friends. Adam constantly told you that you dressed too young for your age and it was time to get new clothes. Ones appropriate for your age.

It was that sort of thing that made you question your with him. His friends wore band T-shirts, and he had even brought you one back when he saw Queen a few months ago. You remembered how he'd tried to make you jealous, but you'd smiled and told him while you respected Adam Lambert and knew that Freddie would've wanted his songs sung well into the future. But you couldn’t see Queen. Not without Freddie, it wasn't the real Queen experience.

He still tried to make you jealous, however.

You'd spent your afternoon finding a lawyer who would do an annulment. He'd given you the papers you needed and explained you both had to fill them out and sign before he could get you in front of a judge. It looked like a long process, but you just hoped it would be done before the six weeks were up.

It was finally time to leave. You could feel your heart pounding hard as you left the hotel. You decided to walk to Enzos, not because you were drinking but because it was around the corner. You could see your hands shaking with nerves as the restaurant came into view. 

You were finally catching up with Eddie. That was the scariest part of all of this. The anticipation filled you full of fear. You didn't even remember the last conversation you had with him, and you didn't even remember marrying him. So, this was a terrifying moment. 

You stared at the stage. Corroded Coffin were on fire. You'd been forced into a veil and sash for the evening, which caught Eddie’s attention. 

“I can feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart, I can see through the scars inside you!”

You stared in awe as he sang, his eyes locked on yours. He gave you a wink before he played his solo. You couldn't stop staring at his hands. The way he moved so skillfully through cords. The way his fingers glided up and down the fretboard. You’d started to bite your lip close to breaking the skin as you watched him finish your favourite song.

Arriving at Enoz’s, you swallowed hard and opened the door. Stepping into the beautiful, warm and friendly candle-lit restaurant, you looked around and smiled gently as a waitress approached you. 

“Reservation for Baggins.”

The waitress smiled and nodded. 

“Right this way.” 

Following her across the room, you saw him. It was like your heart stopped beating at that moment. The leather jacket settled nicely on the back of the chair, a crisp white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up showed off his tattoos, and you could see his combat boots and black jeans below the table, helping you feel less underdressed. 

Then there was his hair. He had it down. He’d hardly ever worn it up; never in photos of the band or magazines did he have it up. You could see he was playing with it like he was nervous. What did he have to be nervous about? He was a Rockstar. Your heart fluttered as you stepped closer to him, a feeling of nervousness bubbling up inside.

“Mr. Baggins, your guest has arrived.”

Eddie turned around; it was like something in a romantic comedy. His face turned into a bright smile as he stood up. As he did, he bumped the table, causing water to spill over the tablecloth.

“Fuck.”

You couldn't help yourself. A smile broke out on your face as you looked at the flushed face of the rockstar you were meeting.

“Let's get you two a dry table, yeah?” 

You smiled at the waitress and followed her to a different table. You smiled as Eddie pulled out your chair and pushed you in. The waitress placed the menus down and then left the two of you alone. 

“Hi.”

You looked up and smiled as you saw how awkward he looked.

“Hi.” 

There was an awkward air between the two of you as you sat together, your eyes on each other. Eddie’s eyes were hypnotic up close; you could get lost in those chocolate swirls. Picking up your glass of water, you looked down only to find they still needed to be filled. You couldn't help the look of embarrassment.

“Thank you for wearing jeans, by the way. I was worried I'd be really underdressed.”

Eddie laughed as he fiddled with the napkin on the table.

“Business up top, party down below.”

“Like a mullet.”

Eddie got excited at this, nodding and pointing. 

“Exactly! My friends didn't get it.”

You laughed, a sense of pride filling you at that moment.

“A clothing mullet, that's a first.”

You mused as you tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled. Eddie looked at you and grinned.

“I figured I better look smart for my wife.” 

The second that word left his lips, your heart thumped hard in your chest. It sounded so wonderful coming from his lips. Part of you felt like you couldn't breathe, and you wanted to keep that title of Eddie’s wife.

“I shouldn't have left you with Tammy, and I'm sorry I did.”

“It's okay, though I wanted to hit her round the head. Rude bitch.”

Eddie laughed as he leaned back in his chair while the waitress filled your glasses. You were surprised at how easy he was to talk to; he seemed happy being around you. It made you happy. 

“I lost a bet. That's the only reason I employed her.”

You stared at Eddie, your eyes wide at his admittance.

“I'm sorry, you only employed her because of a bet?” 

You watched him playing with his hair, using it to hide his face as he looked at you.

“Yeah. My friend Steve bet me I couldn't get her to come to my Halloween party dressed as a muppet.”

“Why?” 

“Steve and Robin say she sings like a muppet. If I could pull that off, it would've been an amazing moment of entertainment for both of them. But she came in this dress thinking there would be some big musicians and managers there.”

You stared, slightly dumbfounded at his admittance. 

“I have to employ her for a year. She's not even good at her job.” 

“So I noticed.” You commented with a smirk. “What would you have gotten if you won?” 

“I wanted him to be in the He Is video, he won though sadly.”

You couldn't help but smile at least neither of them had some sort of sexist bet over a girl. One was to give her a decent-paid job, while the other was to get a friend in an awesome video. You couldn't help but admire that.

“So, about Veg-”

“Are you two ready to order?”

You looked at the waitress, trying hard not to be annoyed that she'd just interrupted you. 

“I'll have the carbonara.”

You smiled when Eddie ordered. He seemed to know what he liked. Scanning the menu, you found the vegetable lasagna and decided to settle on that. 

“So about Vegas.” 

You started once again; after being left alone.

“I found a marriage certificate in my bag, we apparently…”

“Yeah, we got married.” 

He was so casual about it as he leaned back in his chair. 

“I don't remember it.”

“Well, that is what every groom wants to hear.”

Eddie joked with a smirk.

“You're serious? You don't remember it?” 

His tone became slightly serious as you shook your head.

“I went to a lawyer, and he said we can get it annulled. We just have to get some papers filled out.”

“What if I don't want to?”

You frowned as you looked at Eddie. You hadn't thought of that. What if he didn't want to divorce you?

“I'm kidding.”

You let out a sigh of relief.

“Good, because I'm getting married in six weeks.”

“I know.”

“What?” 

You stared at Eddie. You were stunned. He knew you were getting married, but he married you anyway?

“You told me about Adam, and then we drank some more.” 

You felt angry, he knew. Yet he had the guts to fucking marry you.

“You… you asshole!” 

“Oh Princess, look I am so-.” Before he could say anything else, you threw your glass of water over him and stood up. Shaking your head at him, you walked out of the restaurant. You couldn’t help but feel frustrated, angry, confused. What type of guy did something like that? “Princess, come on.” 

Eddie had thrown money onto the table and rushed out after you, and he was dripping wet. His shirt was starting to cling to his torso. But you didn’t care right now. You were mad, you were going to walk away, regardless of how fucking hot he looked. 

“Princess, please.” 

“Stop calling me that!” 

You snapped and turned around to look at him. Your eyes couldn’t help but glance down at the fabric sticking to his stomach. No matter how mad you were, it made your stomach twist and turn slightly. All you could think about was Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” 

“No, it’s not okay. I am getting married, and you married me and then ran away. I had to follow you to this tiny ass town to make sure I could still get married.” 

“Even if you’re making a mistake?” 

You stared at Eddie, your lips parted as you looked at him. A shiver ran down your spine as he spoke words that you’d never dared think about. 

“You know nothing about me. You know nothing about me and Adam.”

“No? I know that he doesn’t like you working. He constantly criticises your clothes: and your friends, he makes you feel small. Makes you feel worthless.” 

You looked at him, blinking as you tried to prevent the tears. Adam did every single one of those things and so much more. He never touched you, but it didn’t stop him from speaking to you like you were shit. Causing you to feel like you’d been punched in the gut. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

He wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he bit down on his lip and looked at you. A puppy-like look appeared on his face as he slowly stepped toward you and reached out and touched your arm. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you.” 

He slowly moved his hand to touch your cheek; his eyes bore into yours.

“I’ll sign the papers. I have one condition, however.” 

You kept your eyes on his, your heart fluttering as he stood this close to you. You couldn’t pull your eyes from his. 

“What?” 

“Stay the week. Attend all this awful wedding stuff that being a single person can be hard to endure, and once the wedding is over, I'll sign the papers, meet the judge and you can be on your merry way.” 

Silence took over the pair of you. Nothing but the distant chatter of people and cars driving past. 

“You want me to come to some stranger's wedding as your wife?”

“No, as my friend.” He replies softly and gently.

“But then why won't you sign?”

Eddie looked at you. He didn't want to admit that he hoped he could change your mind and get you to call off your wedding. He didn't care if you wanted to stay with him. He just felt as if his mother had sent you to him to protect where he failed to protect her.

“Call it insurance? We don't know each other that well… or at all really and this way we both keep our promises.” 

You swallowed hard, one week. Just one. You could do that.

“Fine, I'll have to go shopping though I don't have anything for a wedding.”

“I'll pay, there are several different functions.”

“I don't need you to pay.”

“I didn't say you did, but it's a gesture.” 

“I can pay for myself.”

“Then let me at least put you up, you can stay at my place and I'll stay at Wayne’s.”

“Eddie…”

“No, no arguing. Treat it like an air BnB or something. You get my place. Then you don't have to stay in the inn.”

You sighed, gently but then nodded softly.

“Okay.” 

“Great!”

Eddie smiled as you came to a stop walking outside the inn. 

“I'll be here to pick you up in the morning.”

“Okay.” 

He took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you.

“For your number.”

You smiled gently and put it in (you had to use your phone cause you never remember it) then rang yourself to get his number.

“I'll call you in the morning and we can figure out a time.”

“Okay, sounds good to me.”

You stared at each other for a moment, your heart thumping as you handed back his phone and your fingers touched his.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Goodnight.”

“Eddie, wait.” 

You stepped closer to him, looking up at him.

“Yeah?” 

“What happened in Vegas?”

Eddie smirked, looking down into your eyes with a cocky little smirk. Leaning in, he whispered in your ear his voice causing goosebumps up your body. You watched him walk away, the chill in the air wrapping around you as his words echoed in your mind.

“I'll tell you tomorrow Princess.”

Tag list: @entermxnson @hellfirenacht @ali-r3n @bookdrunkdemigod @peachysink @emotionaldreamer @mimsie95 @corrodedcoffincumslut @emxxblog

[drdemonprince]

That ask about small talk and fear reminded me: a few days ago my partner and I were at our local café. I went to use the restroom and found the toilet seemingly backed up, so went and told a worker since I didn't want to try using it and then make it worse. A random guy who'd been there for a while came over and said "Want me to take a look at it?" We all thought it was Weird and Creepy but he genuinely just wanted to help, and managed to fix it! It was great! He was just a kind stranger wanting to help. And as we left later it hit me how sad it is that fear was our initial reaction. I wish I would've thanked the guy instead of being awkwardly frozen. But it also gave me a little hope and a reminder that most people are just like me, just a person trying to enjoy the life we have and be nice to others.

Yes, I really do believe that if we are invested in mad pride and disabled liberation at all, we gotta take that initial knee-jerk reaction of "this person is weird" or "this behavior is breaking unspoken social scripts" and throw it into the fucking garbage.

No one is a bad person for feeling wary in that way, it is a socially conditioned response -- but it is very dangerous. It's the same kind of thing that leads to people covering their homes in security cameras and calling the cops on children knocking on their neighbor's doors in search of their missing cat. You probably would never do anything of that nature, of course! But it's all part of the same social ideology. And that ideology keeps you isolated and less likely to seek help -- it doesn't keep any of us safe.

Personally I LOVE talking to fucking WEIRD PEOPLE. I spent an hour this summer at a picnic table talking to a tweaked out guy covered in facial tattoos and scales about my aura and the psychic journey he was on and shit. It turns out that he was a trans woman in the 1980s but he didn't have the language for it! He was drawn to me because he could tell I was gender-weird too, and because he said I had a very open looking soul. I could scoff at that or I could be afraid of him, but why??? He was fucking cool! he had a ton of fascinating life experiences and is friends with a lot of the other people I see on the streets in my neighborhood. Turned out we were both Aries' and we talked about that a ton too.

I also met a guy in a dusty old cowboy hat in the park by Loyola beach who told me he is the official 'patriarch of the park' and gets to decide who he allows to pick up litter there. He pointed to a very clean-cut white woman stabbing at trash with a stick and a needle and told me that he had given her personal clearance to clean up "his" park. She might seem like a fussy white suburban type lady, he conveyed, but she was interested in making the space better for everyone and wasn't doing any Kareny shit, so she was welcome.

Last weekend I was going to a free concert in Ping Tom Park and edgy 19 year old punk kids danced next to 70 year old Chinese retirees and middle-aged yuppie parents and their toddlers and homeless people and 50 something Mexican old head techno fans and it was the loveliest fucking thing in the world. A guy up the street from the park was selling dozens of old back packs and coats and electronics on his front lawn and I dug through them and chatted before getting there.

Living in a city and spending a lot of time outside, I meet people like that a lot, and my life is immeasurably enriched by it. It makes me sick and sad that so many human beings never get to talk to strangers like this, recoil from homeless people or people on drugs, and fear any stranger's intrusion into their life. I think even a lot of left leaning, queer people harbor these reactions and chalk them up to things like "being afraid of men" or "being afraid of straight people" and we even promote that kind of thinking within our communities at times. I find it very damaging. Some of the most wholesome experiences in my life have been random nice/warm things cishet men on the street have done for me.

[littlesparklight]

Hey, sorry if it bother you, but would you be on board to do fanfictions-like posts (like the wonderful ones where Perseus call Polydectes uncle) on Teucer, Ajax (his apparently protective brother who's bond with Teucer was compared to a mother protecting her offspring), Hesione, Ajax's mother and Telamon? I learned Teucer was the son of Hesione and thus part trojan through the wonderful (but basically and most likely definitely dead) comic Age of Bronze, and then I saw some of your stuff regarding him and I know your writing is great, so I would love to see it. I especially am interested about moments in their youth, how Hesione deal with having had Teucer and also her thoughts on her owner's trueborn (husband literally can't be called what Telamon is to her honestly) caring for her son, but also how she deal with her son preparing to bring war on Troy. Honestly, that last point would be horrifying for her I think, especially when Teucer carry the bow, the same weapon used by Herakles to kill her father, and intend to use them to kill her nephews, and also due to how many versions have it that Teucer did not partake in the oath, meaning his presence would be due to lack of care for Troy's fate and, or solely, because of his loyalty to Ajax the Greater.

Hahah well, all the Perseus posts were snippets from an actual WIP that I posted up whenever I've gotten inspired to write (because I got pissed off at a shitty post about Perseus or another).

If I get any inspiration to write for Teucer, you'll know!

All I currently have is a post-war WIP meant to follow Teucer to Cyprus I'm not working on right now due to other ideas, but have a snippet from it:

He and his ships could have continued on after he'd found what ships he had left, since Salamis was hardly much further than Athens, but he'd wanted to be sure the ships were sea-worthy.

Also, he had to admit, because finally going home meant facing his father.

Without Ajax.

Teucer almost choked on the surge of grief, throat closing up and his chest too tight to breathe. Not forgetting what he'd been thinking about, but rather it seemed to matter very little against the loss.

"Teucer? You need to eat," Tecmessa said as she came up beside him, drawing Teucer's attention back to both the here and now and what he'd been worrying about just before the reminder of the loss of his brother had overshadowed everything else.

He took the bowl thoughtlessly, but looked up at his brother's widow, slim and outlined by the ruddy light of the setting sun. That Ajax wasn't here to present her to Telamon would matter, to her too. Whether she realized that just yet or not, he was aware of it. More aware of it than he would've been years ago, certainly. More aware of it than he'd been back when he knew his mother wasn't treated exactly the same as Ajax's mother, but never thought of it much for she was still treated more like a lady than a slave. Partially because Eriboia had grace beyond what her husband possessed.

Tecmessa, however…

"How's Eurysaces?" Teucer asked, not yet reaching for the spoon stuck into the bowl.

His nephew would be well-cared for, no matter what happened to him or what his father would make of Ajax's widow. Eurysaces was the only thing left of Ajax, and so he would be welcomed and treasured by his grandparents. Some part of Teucer wished he didn't care enough about his brother's last wishes to fulfil them, for it'd be a way to get back at his father for what he was very sure was coming. A way to protect Eurysaces too, even if Telamon would raise his grandson well. He would just not raise him as Teucer thought Ajax's son deserved to be raised.

What would all those expectations do for yet another child under his father's care? One carrying not just Telamon's expectations on a son of his, but also the expectations on a son of Ajax's.

"He was more interested in tossing the food around than eating it," Tecmessa said with a little laugh, steadied now from the trembling fear when they'd first landed here after the storm had blown over. "I need to put him to bed."

[nicolesainz]

Within The Limits (Ben Chilwell x Jenson Button x OC) Chapter 5

warnings: angst, slight sexual themes, fluff and possessive jb

next chapter

author’s note: i have to clarify that I LOVE JENSE! he is one of my fav ex drivers and he is behaving badly in the story solely for the plot! as for benji, i love him as well and remains a sweetheart everywhere!

“Have you seen that guy around the neighbourhood?”

“Who?”

“Chelsea’s guy, friend, boyfriend, I don’t know what he is to her.”

“Ah, you mean Jenson. Not really. I mean, I did just move in a few months ago and so far whenever I see her she’s alone. I don’t know if he’s ever sneaked in or anything.”

I have never seen a guy this jealous before. I don’t know if Jenson has noticed the way Chelsea looks at him every time he talks to the camera or their co-workers. She must admire him very much. And yet it seems like all she is to him is a girl to mess around with.

"Why do you care this much Chilwell? Huh? Already smitten?" Mase is trying so hard to force the feelings outside as if he isn't gonna be the first person I talk to about Chelsea.

"Again, not a pervert. I just want to make her feel more welcome to England again." Must be difficult travelling the world every other weekend. Plus, getting to know her better, wouldn't hurt, right?

Well, it would hurt me if Jenson ever saw me close to her again.

"You're so sweet it almost breaks my heart. But in all seriousness, I will praise you in Chelsea's eyes. She seemed to be really fond of you. Barely even looked at me during the tour."

"You are so sneaky. How did you manage to get the tour with her? And its wasn't my first Grand Prix you know. I have visited Silverstone before."

"Yeah but she doesn't need to know, right? Plus, Lando and the rest of the drivers really love her, given she is our age, so they want her to leave behind a sort of 'legacy' in the f1 commentating world."

"They clearly love her, especially Jenson. Did you even see the way he was grabbing her? Mate, I would have punched him right there and then if I had the guts to." Remembering that moment, makes my blood boil. What an absolute dick he is. Groping her in front of so many people and co-workers.

"Easy there loverboy. Plus, you've got a reputation to maintain too. And yes I saw, it was truly horrible. I understand to do such things privately but Jesus not in front of so many strangers and coworkers. That was borderline weird."

"So you don't know if they are dating or not?"

"Nope, sorry. But why don't you stalk her insta a bit? It's public and I am sure you will find something juicy in there."

Should I? That does sound kinda creepy. On the other hand though, she would've given me her insta right? Better now than never, I guess. And I am not gonna like, stalk her. Maybe give her an innocent follow. I can't look through her profile like a pervert.

“Here’s here insta if you wanna check it out. I shared you the link. I’m sure she’ll be happy to follow you. After all, you’ll probably be seeing each other every week.” Mason says and I click on her profile.

“I don’t know. I’ll think of what I’ll do. Thank you eitherway Mase.”

“Don’t waste this opportunity buddy. She’s a good girl and people like her don’t come around very often.” He usually doesn’t say things like that without a reason hiding behind it. Why is he saying all those things?

I lay my head on the pillow and think of how things will be after I come back in action. I can’t wait to play football again and feel alive. It’s been quite the time and I need this trill again.

—————————————————————————-

A trail of kisses is being left on my body as Jenson scans me one last time. He looks so vulnerable yet so pleased. I can’t read him like an open book anymore and I fear that once I leave for England permanently, it will get worse. I love him very much but what’s the point of even being with me if he can’t trust me when my job requires to be around a bunch of men?

“I love you so much Chelsea, you don’t understand.” He kisses my temple before taking me into his arms.

“I love you too Jenson. So much.” My response has a cold hint to it, which Jenson spots immediately.

“But?”

“What do you mean ‘but’?”

“There’s clearly something else you want to add here. Come on, tell me.”

“Why don’t you trust me, Jenson?”

“Of course I do. Why are you talking nonsense?”

“Didn’t seem like it today. You were so scared of me being around Mason and Ben, constantly touching me when you’ve clearly said that public display of affection isn’t really your thing. Not to mention how you were holding onto my ass during an interview. What is going on, this isn’t you?”

“All those footballers want is to get in your pants, just so you can spare them a good word or two once you start commenting on the games”

I get out of bed and collect all my clothes, wear everything I was before hand and walk out of the room before Jenson can react. I don’t even manage to make it to the elevator when he comes running towards me with just his pants on. He tries to hold my waist but I slap his hand away from me. How dare he?

“I’m not some kind of slut, that will open her legs to a man just to please him, if that’s what you’re trying to say. And before we got together I had feeling for you and I remember very fondly of you praising my work and professionalism with the drivers and team principals.”

“I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not you who I don’t trust. It’s them.”

“And yet you said it Jenson. What you were trying to say doesn’t matter anymore. The damage is done. Goodnight.” I walk into the elevator and watch his saddened expression pierce my heart as the doors shut.

I take out my phone and the first thing I see brings a smile to my face.

user benchilwell wants to send you a message

‘Hey Chelsea. It’s me, Ben, although you can tell from the username and the fact that all the pictures are filled with my face and a few of my teammates. I hope you’re doing well and uh, wanted to text you before I followed your insta. Anyway, Mase gave it to me but I couldn’t follow you like that out of the blue. Didn’t want to seem like a weirdo or anything. So yeah, see you.’

—————————————————————————————

My phone clings and underneath the message that Reece had sent me, a notification from instagram had appeared.

user chelswinster3 started following you

[pirataimperatix]

Peroration

@wintermulitplied

“Nem fogsz visszajönni.” (You will not be coming back.) Liliána accused, tears already glistening in her eyes. Her mother's silence was an admission on its own, causing helpless anger and fear burst from and coat her heart.

“Apa haldoklik, és te is itt hagysz.” (Dad is dying and you will leave me too.) The daughter of the Devil and Sea hissed through a curtain of tears, cutting straight to the point, just as she learned

“Kislányom-” (My little girl-) Rozália tried before an another outburst cut her off

“Meghalni jobban szeretsz, mint engem!” (You love dying more than me!) Liliána's black pearl eyes flashed dangerously; truly the perfect combination of them.

“Ha ez igaz lenne, akkor visszamentem volna az országba, amit egyszer hazának hívtam.” (If that had been true, I would've gone back to the country, that once I called homeland.) Rozália dismissed that belief sharply “Te nem látod a gyásztól, de én igen. Lassulok, kislányom. Érzem.” (You cannot see it from the grief, but I do. I'm getting slower, my little girl. I feel it.) The Duelist -no longer the best since the title was won by Liliána five years ago- Captain, the Empress of the Caribbean admitted

“Ne akard anyád lógni látni. És azt se kívánd, hogy az emberek elveszítsék a tiszteletet, mert öregszem. Mi történne veled, amikor széttépik a holttestem? Hogyan gyászolnál és lépnél a helyembe egyszerre, tiszta tudattal?” (Don't want to see your mother hanged. And don't wish people losing their respect for me because I'm getting old. What would happen to you when they are tearing my dead body apart? How could you grieve and step into my place at the same time, with a clear mind?) By now Rozália was holding her sobbing child, desperately clinging to her mother the very last time.

Her arms equally as tight around her, this wasn't a decision that she made easy. Continuing after losing James was an entirely different kind of agony, now Jack also at the door of death...she couldn't let him go through it alone. No matter how her other instincts and part of her soul screamed at the thought of separating from Liliána, this decision, in this world ensured her survival. Both pirates and empires feared her, her fleet. She can't allow a change in that state. Cannot allow to risk her daughter.

“Mindennél jobban szeretlek, utolsó gondolatom is te leszel. Gyászolj, majd lépj helyembe. Tudom, hogy képes vagy rá. Búcsúzz el apukádtól, biztos hiányzol neki.” (I love you more than anything, my last thought will be you as well. Grieve, then step into my place. I know you're capable. Say goodbye to your dad, I'm sure he misses you.) Kissing her tears away Rozália slowly parted, no matter how her heart twisted at the movements. How she had to bite her lips with sharp gold sewing them shut after Liliána's I love you too mom, to prevent herself from calling after her to reassure, to hug, to cry. She stood until she disappeared from sight and decided to visit the graveyard.

“We're coming James. You don't have to wait long.” One might mistake this lush part of the bay for an oasis instead, vivid green leaves and uncountable kinds, colors of flowers lined the crescent land. It disappeared during high tide, the sea taking all gifts left by relatives, friends. It was the cemetery of the old Vihar crew as well; her whole family and their memory rested here.

She couldn't bear the thought of throwing them into the sea, but eventually they became sailors, pirates, especially James. This was a compromise, a tiny cheat of habits, as most of them eventually found love and children even. And Rozália had to be able to visit them.

“I miss you. Have been ever since; like I'm not complete.” hands now marred by tiny wrinkles traced gently the wooden albatross, Jack's latest gift.

Two years, yet it felt as it happened yesterday. Even at 62, Rozália led every attack and defense with the Vihar, a living legend of that age still the best, the first to arrive, the last the leave the battlefield. She wasn't fast enough. It was too late when she noticed the man charging at her with the bayonet already within too close range to evade. But James managed to be faster, killing the man while metal burrowed deep into his body. The fleet switched to defense, Jack soaring across ships to reach his husband. World seemed to stop as the two of them cradled the ex Admiral, who even in death joked: why wouldn't he not do that? He would've gone mad if he only had Jack as company. James Norrington fell in battle, succumbing to his injuries in the arms of those who loved him the most.

Of course Rozy tracked down the source of the attack and burned Port Royal to ashes, the scale of mayhem, the raw insanity in her vicious eyes rekindling the stories of the Hungarian Devil. Those tales mentioned nothing of her anguish. “I'm sorry.” and she didn't know what she was apologizing for, only shifted in the sand, kneeling hurt, so did walking. No matter the mobility aids, herbs; she permanently ruined her knees with her inhumane fencing style. About that, she had no regrets and would do the same even if she knew where it led.

“I love you. We're coming.” one last loving kiss against the sun warmed wooden albatross, her fingers parting with difficulty.

“Barátaim, családom. Mindent köszönök. Itt ér véget a történet, de a legenda századokig megmarad. Megtiszteltetés volt veletek lenni.” (My friends, my family. Thank you for everything. Here is where the story ends, but the legend will stay for centuries. It was an honor being by your side.) The Captain stood tall, emerald eyes glassy at her goodbye to the legendary Vihar crew, the family who saved her decades ago.

Captain Jack Sparrow's last journey. Picking the crew for this voyage took a day, the most trustworthy and in a way pure hearted sailors allowed on board of the Black Pearl, his ringed fingers resting on the railing of the quarterdeck. Sharp eyes overseeing the bustling of pirates under his command. Both him and Rozália giving a last hug to Liliána, their miracle. One last shout of ‘I love you!’ ringing together before the sails unfurled gracefully. They were out of sight when she collapsed sobbing.

Rozália felt before she saw him join her, salty spray of the sea restoring some of his vitality. He took her in, one last time basking in sunlight. By now few strands of silver woven in her short, unruly hair, haven't lost the slightest from her towering height nor danger laced charisma and there was still plenty dynamic strength within. Her eyes the same pure color but ultimately not the same ones he used to get lost in. Something changed after James and he couldn't blame her for it. Perhaps he was the same way.

His time seemed to arrive, sneak in unnoticed, brushed off as exhaustion after a long day, blamed on age, until everything was harder, harder and then impossible. Something icy settled in his chest along with the knowledge. Still, he faced it with all his remaining dignity, he had done this before, although the beast was...vastly different than what was coming.

“You're beautiful Love.” he smiled at last, well aware every moment was his last

“So are you, Love.” dexterous fingers gently squeezed his, raw sincerity dripping from her words.

The sun dimmed slowly, the piercing pain especially in her right knee flaring told Rozália what was ahead. And she couldn't think of a more fitting final stroke to their grand epos told by many future generations to come. The wind was picking up, the crew about finishing tying every sail in position, longboats ready. A little boy just arrived back with rum, his face gleaming when Jack asked him for it. He didn't know he brought the legendary Captain his last drink, only knew his kindness and playful ruffle of his hair as thank you.

The darkened sky was the indicator, final glances at the Captain as the deck eventually emptied, boats slowly distancing from the Pearl and the storm she was about to go into.

“Maradsz, ugye?” (You're staying, don't you?) Jancsi, the last one of the Vihar crew fought with his tears at the realization. He didn't need a yes as confirmation, he should've known she simply couldn't live without him.

“Vigyázz a lányomra, amíg gyászol.” (Take care of my daughter while she grieves.) Rozália issued her last command, causing the emotional barrier breaking in the now 55 year old man, shattering further when he felt her hug farewell. His head burying in her shoulder and cried softly as if he was a little boy again.

“Megtiszteltetés volt minden perc.” (Every minute was an honor.) He eventually managed to choke out, his life flashing against his eyes from the first moment he sneaked onto the rescue ship

“Úgyszintén.” (Likewise.) Rozália kissed his cheek before letting go of her first mate. “Elboldugolok majd a hajóval egyedül?” (Can I man the ship alone?) she asked softly

“Igen. Minden...jól van. Biztosan- biztosan-” (Yes. Everything...is well. It will surely- it will surely-) Jancsi simply couldn't finish that sentence. Not if he wanted to avoid a complete breakdown.

“Jó. Ne keressetek minket, se a hajót. A Vihar és a Végzet flotta új kapitánya Liliána Thalassa Véghváry és te vagy az első tisztje.” (Good. Don't look for us, nor for the ship. The Vihar and the Végzet fleet's new Captain is Liliána Thalassa Véghváry and you are her first mate.) She named her successor, put her in the arms of the very few she trusted. Jancsi stood straighter at the well known news, she could see he would go any lengths to protect her.

“Viszlát...Rozália.” (Goodbye...Rozália.) One last tight hug as farewell before the man descended into the last boat, cradling his chest where the warmth of her touch lingered.

With a heavy sigh, she turned, not surprised to see Jack glaring at her.

“You're still here.” an acknowledgement with no surprise behind it. She knew he suspected her plan all along and only didn't try to change it because he wouldn't be able to convince her to leave.

“Do I look like a ferryman to you? Who will only lead you to the door and not through it?” Rozália challenged, noting his sickly pale complexion and shivers with the weather change

“Does Lili...” he choked, those eyes still burning with life

“She knows. She will fully understand later. This wasn't a choice I made on the whim or with an easy heart, Jack. I cannot live any longer. Especially not without you.” by now only they remained so she allowed her pained limp to show before she embraced her soulmate.

“Retire to your cabin, Captain. Wait for me. There was a reason why James' speech missed the ‘till death do us part’. Because not even death can or will separate us.” Rozália smiled, supporting him all the way to the door with a shattering heart. “Rest. I will join shortly.”

The Black Pearl tossed around like a toy among the abyss waves, both the sea and the downpour flooding the deck. Her hair wildly whipping in the wind and she refused to give up her fight with the helm, driving the prized ship further into the vicious storm, perhaps the worst she had seen. Tightly corded muscle fought with the very strength of the sea, defiant, no matter how many times she was knocked from her feet. At last the course and outcome set in stone. The Devil turned her head towards the pitch dark sky and roared one last time, fangs bared, lightning flashing in the storm like her swords did.

She turned her back to the elements to wrestle herself through the cabin door, water already ankle deep.

“Jack?” she called, her heart settled when she saw the slight raise of his head. Shaking her soaked coat off, slicking her hair out of her face, she immediately joined him, her soulmate in her arms' gentle yet protective hold. Still, she winced as the Pearl's hull groaned, drawing a fond smile from Jack.

“Just look at me darlin’. Nowhere to else. Look at me.” Rozália could hear the plea underneath the comfort, draping her body closer till they couldn't be told apart. Light...not from outside but...the ghost wings she had seen plenty times on him. Golden sparrow wings were dimming rapidly, his body more and more lax in her hold.

“Jack, Jack stay with me a little longer. Please hold out just a little longer. I know you can.” saltwater from her hair mixed with tears at the sight of her dying soulmate, just one last look. A few more moments. His eyes gently fluttered open, some of the glow returning to the wings but not steadily.

“Anythin’ for you.” his easy smile made her bring their foreheads together, her only relief that she will follow him soon.

The sea seemed to still, the raging storm pausing noticeably enough for her head to jerk up; did she accidentally navigate into the eye of the storm? The water now lapping at the bed trembled and morphed into a familiar shape.

“You know what happens now, do you?” Calypso, the Goddess asked, melancholy heavily tinting her accented voice. Rozália only could nod carefully cradling Jack's head

“His time has come. Yours, no.” the Goddess' glare bore into the woman who outright denied her in response.

“Yes it did. I lived on my own terms. I will die the same way. And I decided I will, today, with him. I am in control of my fate.” she sit straighter, emerald fire burning in her eyes, rebellious, strong, undeterred and unapologetically fierce.

“Be it then.” Calypso sighed, not bothering hiding the pain at the sight of the soulmates about to perish in each other's arms “I will make it quick.”

“Wait!” Rozália cried suddenly, before she could sink back to the ruthless sea she emerged from. The urgency in her voice making her pause with a piercing gaze.

“Thank you. For Liliána. For Jack. For giving me a true second chance to live. For granting us this death. Please sometimes look towards our daughter, she's also yours.” her throat was closing in, overflowed with emotions, fragments of her life

“Bring us under. Don't let anyone find the Pearl...or us.” Jack rasped his last request

“Fine. Farewell Sparrow and Phoenix.” with the lingering cryptic message, the goddess dissolved into droplets, back into the depths she had risen from.

“Rozy...your...wings” Jack whispered and for the first time she also saw them. Enormous phoenix wings arched gracefully from her back, closing around him protectively. They burned bright, with ferocious intensity, his glow nowhere near hers but at least steady. “I'm sure I didn't drink enough rum to see” the signature hand gesture at his own ones “this”

Calypso's gift. It was unsaid, along with the fact they only had moments remaining. Her lips on his soft, careful and passionate “Szeretlek.” (I love you.) Rozália said with a teary, loving smile. Safe in her wings, shielded by the rage of the world, Jack reached for her face, strength dissipating from him with every lazy heartbeat. Unlike her, he couldn't call a language his own, unless...“Én is téged.” (I love you too.) A kiss with his last breath.

The sea seemingly split open, waves reaching mountain heights, accompanied by the largest lightning ever cutting across the sky they crashed down the Black Pearl, bringing it down to its final rest and extinguishing the two burning souls.

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Liliána Thalassa Véghváry was just as feared and respected as her mother was. As her fathers were. She fenced like Rozália and James combined did, navigated better than Jack and led people just as effectively. The sea what ultimately claimed her parents seemingly always favoring her, almost akin to an apology. Despite Jancsi's tremendous support, there were still times when the agony became unbearable to keep locked within. After a sleepless night, she stumbled to the deck of the Vihar at the very crack of a misty dawn and screamed silently with tears like translucent pearls sliding from her cheeks, soaked up by the wood.

Eventually, she rose, straightened just like they would've wanted. In the distance she noticed a ship...not a traditional one, more akin to the Flying Dutchman? Flinging herself against the railing, Liliána stared at the three figures standing united on the deck. Bright seafoam, blazing emerald, brilliant black pearl eyes looked at her tenderly, full of pride and love.

[attroxx]

❛ @metrictita said . . . “do i look like a monster to you?” (from yuna, for axel… oh the tension in these are so good i cant i canttt ✨) ❜

𝘼𝙓𝙀𝙇 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒𝙎 𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀. at such a very young age he'd been shown exactly what monsters look like. they appear like anyone else. they appear loving, attentive and present. until one day they aren't. until one day that facade crumbles and you're left with someone who isn't the person you thought they were. axel knows all too well how many monsters walk amongst us everyday. never once had he figured she'd be a literal monster though. somehow despite her words, despite the almost threatening look she offers he doesn't find himself scared . . . although it took quite a lot to really scare axel anymore.

the blood is the only thing making him cringe. the scent is enough to trigger a sense of fear. the feeling that he wants to desperately run away and never look back. the urge to hide, the urge to crawl under something and not come back out. had this been a few years ago he would've been rendered useless, a mess on the floor unable to move. but here he is standing tall and only shaking just a little. the scent is one he was so used to he hardly smelt it anymore.

❛ no. ❜ he says truthfully. maybe he was wrong, hell he probably was but he wasn't scared of her nor did he want to run away. instead he stays planted firmly to the ground, ignoring the bloody scene as much as possible. ❛ are you a monster ? you tell me. ❜

horror inspired meme . . . accepting.

[azielgordy]

WHO: @thecursed-starters WHEN: 31st of May, 2024. Type: For Vampires. Vampire only bar. WHERE: Elliot's Bar, 5* Plaza — New York City. (NOT ATTENDING CARNIVAL)

The rain-soaked asphalt stuffed itself up his nose, the outside of Elliot's looking inviting after the day he'd had.

The off-kiltered, dingy orange neon sign flickering, the grime of the years passed clinging to the light. Just a year ago, he would've never stepped foot inside a place like this. Had no need too, but even now he could feel that burning fire in his throat, the way his skin felt a little too tight, too dry. There were a few places where his kind could come, where it wasn't acceptable to drink — to take what he needed.

He'd never wanted this life, but albeit, he wasn't ready to forfeit it.

Aziel hadn't long left work, his muscles ached, not from over-exertion but from the similar aching in his gums, that endless stabbing pain -- alerting him to what he already knew. He was hungry, starving, even. Dressed in a three piece off-grey tailored suit said what it needed too, that a corporate man was entering the facility. But here, it meant jack shit. In this world, tapping power came from age and alliance...the corporate world still held weight, especially when two vampires were partnered together. Still, Aziel moved with as powerful a stride as he could muster, jaw tight as he pushed through the doors to the bar.

Walking in, the hum of conversation dipped momentarily, eyes flicking towards the new arrival. Aziel was no stranger to such scrutiny; his life had always been a performance, a delicate balance of power and perception.

Sharp features suited Aziel perfectly, but it'd never been that way before. Back when he'd been human. At 39, he carried the weight of his crumbling life, the way each day felt like a battle to keep hold of something he'd once had. His father’s stoic teachings,his mother’s moral compass shaped him into the man he was today, yet the foundation of conflict that had settled within him had been from the actions to save his father's business: a hostile takeover was no easy feat. But he'd done it. At his own expense.

His wife, his strength, deserved better than the monster he feared he was turning into.

"O negative, please." the words falling from his mouth, turning to lean his back against the bar, his lips setting into a thin line. "Any news?" the words were quiet, although he was aware of his current company. Silence, momentary, passed.

"Not for a week. I heard that there was another shipment in a week." The bar man, Albert, stated while preparing the drink. They'd met a few times, easygoing and laid back was how he seemed nintey-five percent of the time. But if you looked a little deeper, there was something different. Darker, more intelligent.

"They're trafficking blood, Alb. That's..." He still had a moral compass.

"I know, Az."

Aziel scanned the room, noting the varied clientele – a mix of regulars and drifters, all seeking something their craving. He was just another one among many, each with their own battles, their own stories. How many had been turned against their will? How many were there like him in here alone? Or who'd made the choice for a life of eternity. His wife, no doubt, was looking at the clock, imagining all kinds of scenarios in her head. But what could he tell her?

That he was a fucking vampire? No, he thought, not. He'd been normal. Once.

The bar offered no answers, just his meal. Tomorrow, the world would demand more of him – his company, the hunger, the façade he attempted to maintain. But for now, in this small pocket of time, Aziel allowed himself to simply be. A man, a husband, a son.

"Let me know if you hear anything -- " He stopped, lips parting. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

[elixpierce]

✦ MICHAEL B. JORDAN, CIS MAN, HE/HIM ✦ ELIJAH PIERCE the THIRTY- FIVE year old has been in the QZ for FOUR YEARS. The LOOK OUT is/are said to be DEDICATED and WORKAHOLIC but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves.

BIO: (tw: death mention )

Elijah was born and partially raised in Houston, Texas. He is the oldest of the Pierce children.

He was fifteen when the outbreak took place, and he can still remember the day it all went to shit for him and his family; it's a day that plagues his nightmares almost every night and deprives him of most of his sleep.

Him and his sister were separated from their parents only a year after the outbreak took place, taken by a group of raiders in hopes of being able to train them up to be part of their gang. Despite how often his younger sister tried to remind him of the warmth they once held in their lives, Elijah turned colder with every day they spent in training.

He adapted to the ways of his raider gang family more than his sister could and eventually it led to her running away from the camp. He couldn't' blame her, although he wished she would've at least informed him of what she had planned. After a month of being held captive by the people who at this point had practically raised him, having to convince them that he had no idea where his sister had gone, he eventually was deemed innocent of her 'wrong' doings.

One day they were getting ready to raid a town, they needed a new place to settle in, and it was on this day that Elijah's life changed forever. He was told the town was mostly made of middle-aged citizens who seemed clueless enough, and he went ahead with the mission with simply this knowledge. It wasn't until they were already inside with the place half ablaze that Elijah realized he had been lied to. Families were being torn apart, kids hiding in fear, elderly shoved to the ground, and it all gave him flashbacks of when it happened to his family. He helped as many as he could to escape that day and then left in the middle of the night in search of a new way of living.

He came across the Dallas QZ four years ago and has since been enjoying his more peaceful life. He hasn't told anyone of his past for fear of them wanting to kick him out or not trusting him anymore. Not that he could blame anyone for that reaction, he would probably have the same one had it been someone else in his shoes. At the moment, around the QZ, he is known as a hardworking individual who has a good sense of humor.

He likes to make people laugh as much as possible, enjoys his drinks at the bar as any other person in the QZ, and takes his job as one of the lookouts very seriously. While he is on the clock chances are you probably can't distract him much, unless you're someone working alongside him.

sexuality:

he is undecided what his sexuality is. he's never been truly interested in a guy, but he has been curious on what kissing one would be like. he hasn't taken that step because all of that is new to him and he is very nervous when it comes to it, if only because he has no idea what he's doing. when it comes to women, he can be either way. sometimes he is outgoing and other times he is a bit shy to approach them.

relationship status:

he's single, but he says he's married to his job.

connections:

ride or dies

drinking buddies:

casual hook-up:

enemies:

ex of sorts: ex fling, ex partner, ex friend, etc!

[eddieheart]

OLD WORLD

Fandom: 911

Pairings: NONE

Words: 771

Description: Buck is hiding something, he didn’t go to high school

It had been years now and still some days there were things that shocked and surprised him. The same things he'd seen for years now, still amazed him.

The alarm at the firehouse, the fire trucks themselves, cell phones, TVs, alarm systems, airplains that can carry water, all the normal things people around him had seen for years and yet they still brought him unimaginable joy.

Buck was 19 when he left home, his parents had tried to keep him, not let him go on rumspringa after what happened with Maddie. He'd begged and pleaded, secretly stashed away money in a jar in the neighbour's barn.

He'd snuck away in the night, packed a bag of all his important things; photos his parents would've beaten him for even looking at, Maddie's old doll that he'd kept in secret in fear of retribution from his parents, a blanket his Oma had made him, other knickknacks from his friends.

All wrapped up in a leather satchel with all the money he'd ever made. A measly 400 dollars, it had seemed like more than enough before he'd realized he had no place to stay and no easy way to get there.

He'd traveled all over the world, working his way from Pennsylvania down to South America, Asia, Europe and back. Itching to see the world and all the things he'd missed. Buck had seen the world, but all he really wanted was his family, a family.

His parents weren't blessed with fertility like the others in their community, they only had three children, Evan, Daniel and Maddie. Daniel dying at such a young age meant that the later was the only parental figure Buck had ever known, until she left for Doug that is.

Yearning for a purpose Buck joined the Seals, who'd helped him get his GED and given him a home for the time being. But it turned out the structure was too rigid for him after just barely escaping his parents and their iron grip on his life. So he'd moved on to greener pastures and become a firefighter.

It was a dream come true, the family he's always wanted coupled with the new experiences he yearned for. Things only got better when Maddie found him.

If only it stayed that way.

The team didn't know about his or Maddie's childhood, about the sibling they'd lost, arranged marriages or daily chores. About how Buck had only seen a cell phone for the first time seven years ago.

Nor did they know about his GED or the Seals, until now that is.

"High school was the worst time of my life, I got bullied everyday, had no friends..  except for Mr. Mayhew the janitor." Chimney said with a chuckle.

"You think your high school was bad, I was a black lesbian in Inglewood." Hen replied with the same air of humour.

The group let out a loud laugh, Buck along with them. He didn't understand but he couldn't help but feel awkward and left out of the conversation.

"C'mon look at us, I don't think any of us had a good high school experience. Except maybe for Buck that is, handsome, jock like yourself."Eddie said with a smirk.

"Yeah Buckley, what was your high school like?" Chimney asked.

Buck bit his lip and swallowed thickly. It wasn't that difficult of a question, why was he feeling like this? Maybe just the thought of the life he left behind was enough to send him into a panic.

"I didn't go to high school." He replied, looking down at his lap, a slight tone of embarrassments his voice.

"What do you mean? You need a diploma to be an member of the LAFD." Eddie asked, leaning forward, placing his shoulders on his knees inquisitively.

"I um... I have a GED, so an equivalent. Um... I needed one to joint the Seals so they got me into a.. what did he call it um.. GED plus program, y'know to help pay and stuff." Buck wrung his hands together and leaned back in his chair, worry creeping up his spine.

"I didn't know you were in the seals." Eddie replied, an emotion Buck didn't recognize in his voice.

"Yeah and I didn't know you didn't go to high school. Why not anyway?" Chimney asked.

His throat felt like it was closing in on him, he stood up quickly bringing the dirty plate in front of him to the sink.

"I don't want to talk about it." He mumbled out.

The group looked at each other in question, they'd never seen Buck act like this.

Part 2:

@buggylad

[spooksofhorror]

Saturday Story #2: Down By the Bay

In the several years I've lived in this small town, it never rained. I remember growing up, not knowing what rain was until my parents and I visited extended family in another state. During the week we were there, there was a day where it downpoured. I remember sitting on one of the couches in the living room, curled up out of fear and asking my parents what was going on. They told me that it was raining and explained very broadly how the water cycle works. It was such a brand new and interesting concept to me. The instant returned home, I wanted to tell my friends about rain. My parents told me not to, that we were living in a decade long drought and that bringing up rain would make people sad. I didn't want to make anyone sad with my excitement, so I simply forgot about telling anyone.

Then I remembered.

About a year ago, a new family moved into town. They seemed like a run-of-the-mill, suburban family. Their eldest child, the daughter Korie, was my age (16), and their youngest, the son Thomas, was seven. They moved right into our neighborhood, right down the street. We were on summer break at the time with only two weeks left until school. And when school did inevitably come around, I decided to try and make friends with Korie.

Korie was probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. She was calm and would always strike up a conversation with me before class started. She had this way of talking to people that would instantly put them at ease. Countless times I would make jokes that she had some sort of undiscovered super power, or maybe she was a long lost goddess. She would always smile, giggle and shake her head at me. I'd invite her over after school and sometimes on weekends if her parents didn't have any plans. It was one of these weekends that Korie would inevitably ask the question.

"Isn't it weird that it doesn't rain here?"

"What?" I replied, somewhat caught off guard.

"Yeah, haven't you noticed? Ever since I moved in it hasn't rained once."

I remembered what my parents told me; "It's because we're in a drought. It's lasted for decades at this point."

"A drought ?" Korie looked at me, confused, "Weird. I feel like my parents would've known about one before we moved in."

We were both silent for a moment before Korie's phone buzzed.

"Parents need me to watch my brother, I'll see you later."

Then she left.

I had lived in this town all my life and never thought the drought was weird. No one else did. And maybe her parents just never looked into the town's history far enough to know about it. Maybe all they knew was that the crime rate was low and the houses looked decent.

Never did I think that maybe, just maybe, there was a secret being kept, that even I didn't know.

Life continued on as it was. Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, go to school, get home, do homework, hangout with Korie, go to bed, and repeat. My usual boring routine, interrupted by a knock at my door on one Thursday afternoon when Korie had stayed home.

It was Korie's dad.

"Hey, kiddo. Your parents home?"

"No, my dad's at work and mom's running a bunch of errands before her shift."

"Oh," There was something in his facial expression that I couldn't place. It was like uneasy curiosity. "Would it be alright if I asked you something then?"

"Uh...sure?" I scanned over him, a little freaked out. I didn't know Korie's dad that well, and absolutely wasn't sure of his intentions in that moment.

"So, Korie mentioned to me that this town is in a drought, and that you were the one to tell her. I was just wondering if that's true?"

"I mean, it's never rained once in my life since I can remember, so yeah, I think it's true."

"And everyone in the town knows this?"

"Probably, a lot of them have been here for generations."

Korie's dad just stared at me as he thought. It felt like I could see the gears turning in his head.

"Okay, well, thanks for the talk, pal. I'll uh, I'll see you around then." He gave me an awkward smile before stepping off the front steps and heading down the street. I figured that would be the last time Korie's dad would be interested in the drought. It wasn't. Soon after, he started protesting at Town Hall and trying to publish articles in the local newspaper about how a town was trying to hide a drought from the media. He created conspiracies over it, things like the government was doing some sort of testing, or this was once an uninhabitable site caused by radiation. He went crazy. All over a drought. A lot of the townspeople simply huffed and shook their heads at the whole thing. A few tried to argue with him, and some even tried to silence him. That was the weirdest part. There were a handful of people treating this weird guy's dilemma like it was taboo. Not like he was crazy, but like he shouldn't be talking about it. It confused me, all of this over a drought? Why would people even bother?

My attitude quickly changed as soon as Korie went missing. It happened a week ago. Her dad reported her missing when she didn't come home from school, after he rushed over to our house. He looked so disheveled and frightened. I didn't know where she was either, I thought she had stayed home sick that day because she wasn't at school. The town joined the police's search efforts. We were out looking for hours, some of the adults posted things on social media for their friends in neighboring towns to see. News stations covered it. I was so shocked, scared and confused. I prayed that no one in the town had taken her. I prayed that she wasn't hurt, hoping that her dad's outburst hadn't caused someone to go over the edge.

I've been crying for the past few days. She was my best friend. Everything feels off. And today, when I looked out my bedroom window, I saw it.

The town has been in a drought for decades.

Today..

it finally rained.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

A decade on this hellsite (affectionate)

So, while I'm working on putting the finishing touches on this chapter, and am getting ready to work on other stuff as well, I...I have an announcement....

This is something I should've said yesterday, but I misremembered....

Uh...

I dunno how to say this super eloquently, but....yesterday was my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr! Wooooo!!

Yup! I joined Tumblr on November 6, 2013, and I've stayed here ever since! W-well, give or take a few hiatuses, but....I-I never LEFT, and that's what I'm celebrating....XD

When I first joined Tumblr, I did so to please a couple people I looked up to, who wanted to talk to me more. I'd been lurking on the website for quite a while beforehand, and didn't have a blog because I thought I wasn't an interesting enough person for one....and I also lowkey feared being made fun of. Yeah, I thought that Tumblr was a competition to get the biggest following, and if no one paid attention to you, you might as well not exist. That kind of mentality was pretty much drilled into me by the state of my current fandom at the time, which was ruled by a select few popular blogs and everyone else had to either conform to what they liked and hated, or get mocked.

How stupid of me, right? Tumblr is more than just the fandoms on it. Tumblr is literally whatever you make of it. You choose what to do and say, and who to engage with. Heck, even if you don't wanna talk to ANYONE, you can still use it for yourself. XD

Originally, this was purely a Total Drama fan blog. Then, over time, as I got more and more comfy with it, I talked about personal things more often, and then branched out, and just made it a me blog, in around 2015 or so. This ended up being the right choice. It became a second home, and grew with me over the years. I've gone through a lot - different special interests (many of which ended up being very important to me), a lot of personal changes, getting more comfortable with certain parts of myself - and Tumblr has captured all of that. At this point, I don't do anything for the attention. I just like putting it out there.

I've even accomplished things that 2013 me would've never tried...like, slowly embracing self-shipping culture, and all the fics I've written because of it. In 2013, I had my fictional crushes, but I was embarrassed about them and usually hid them behind OCs. And I'd never written a full fanfic. I was a former roleplayer. And now....Holy crap, I'm not saying I'm a GREAT writer, but...t-to try it, like it, and then KEEP DOING IT?? I call that an accomplishment....

I've met many people, including good friends, and....I-I like to think that....I-I've matured thanks to it. When you're in one place for a decade, it really influences you a lot, even in less obvious ways. I was a LOT more spontaneous ten years ago. I-I said some insensitive stuff that I didn't realize at the time. I stuck my nose in places it didn't belong, and I let myself get too pressed over the opinions of people I didn't even like. I don't do any of that anymore. I'm a lot more picky with what sides of my fandoms I talk to now. I'm still not perfect, but I've grown a lot, and it's cool to think....that this blog is essentially a document of my emotional journey.

(Not to mention all the Eurovision seasons, heheh....)

Does that mean my old posts from 2013 and 2014 are worth reading nowadays? HECK no, but I'm happy they exist.

I-I'm sorry that this is so word-vomit-y, but......point is, thanks for ten years. Here's hoping I'm still here in 2033. Until then.....I-I have an update:

I dunno why I didn't do this sooner, but I have a "Current Interests" page now, which I plan to update frequently. This'll make it easier to keep track of what I'm into at the present time. So that I no longer have to hide anything....just...laying it all out there for people.

I thought I needed it. I've just been lazy for waaaaay too long. XD I need to act my age and let people know what they're getting into.

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

You understand why Aemond calls her a whore? Wow, that's something.

Rhaenyra has three sons who (in the books is harder to determinate if Laenor is the bio dad or not) legally speaking aren't bastards, but I suppose that would've had been hard for a eleven year old Aemond to understand as it seems to be hard for many adults.

Being a bastard is a social and legal position. Why? Because being born out of wedlock doesn't make you different in any way to people who are born to married couples. Children were born when the concept hadn't been invented. So they aren't bastards.

Show Rhaenyra slept with Daemon some days after Laena's death, but Aemond doesn't know that, in fact in the show the only one who may know It is Otto and he can only assum. In the books Rhaenyra and Daemon didn't slept together until months after Laena and Laenor's death. Also they got married soon after.

In the books (and the show too) Aemond has no way of knowing anything about Rhaenyra's life other than what his mother tells him or what he hears from her allies. Show! Alicent was already telling Aegon he'll be king since episode six, wich is treason. Aemond was aware of his mother's intentions as well, because in the beggining of episode seven (before the Daemon/Rhaenyra scene) Aemond calls Helaena "your future queen" when talking to Aegon about their bethroal.

Why exactly you understand Aemond calling Rhaenyra a whore?

Daemon didn't do any of the things Green stans hate him for in the books. And the only ones that he did on the show where killing Rhea and choking Rhaenyra. Both situation where invented by the showrunners, just like the feet one or Alicent's rape, in the show they love to make women little more than victims. I don't like how George adds abuse of any kind to every female character, but this situations where completely show inventions.

Where the hell did you see Daemon insulting any woman above him or women who he can't sexualize? I don't remember him insulting any women other than Rhea and Alicent. Or Mysaria that one time he called her a whore, wich was her job last time they saw each other. Not to mention he hates Rhea and Alicent. You never insulted someone you hate?

Rhea: he calls her "Bronze Bitch" and he hates her. In the show he killed her (something the writers invented for the show) and in the books he went to collect her inheritance after her death, but Lady Jeyne denied him anything. Daemon was forced to marry Rhea when he was sixteen, she was either the same age or older, and due to Rhea been the Lady of Runestone he had to go to the Vale and leave behind everything he knew. So I get why he hates her.

Alicent: I only remember him insulting Alicent after the death of Viserys. Again, he hates Alicent, hates the Hightowers and he just found out his brother died.

So...yeah those are the insults, maybe I forgot others.

It wasn't really mentioned in the books if Rhaenyra studied politics after being named heir or if she was good or bad at it. In the shows we see her in the small council after giving birth, one can assume she'd been attending meetings as long as Alicent during the time jump. Rhaenyra raised good points in that meeting, but Alicent shut them all down out off spite. So saying that Rhaenyra has no preparation or is bad in politics would be false in the show.

Book! Rhaenyra stayed in Dragonstone after the fight because her father ordered her to. Show! Rhaenyra went to Dragonstone because of the rumors the Greens spread all over court and Criston and Alicent's behavior towards her and her children, not because of the fight. Also Rhaenyra stayed in Dragonstone because is her seat as heir.

In episode six she says to Laenor "I've should've left years ago" that was before the fight. And sure, It was in part for the rumors after the training yard incident, but it wasn't the only reason.

I understand Alicent anger and fear, she has a right to be angry about what happened to her, but she throws all of her anger to Rhaenyra. I get she was angry over her lie, but Rhaenyra was also protecting herself (and Criston) by not saying anything. In Rhaenyra's position I'm not sure I could trust Alicent either. She went behind Rhaenyra's back to see her father (I know she didn't have a choice, but does Rhaenyra know?)so how could she trust her with something like that. Even if she did know Alicent didn't have a choice and she didn't mean to lie to her, Alicent is still controlled by her father Who was the one ordering her to go to the King in the first place. So if Rhaenyra tells her anything eventually Otto would know.

Also in time of the Dance there is no law that says "boys go first" is tradition. Sure, Alicent follows tradition, but tradition and law is not the same thing.

Aemond being the biggest misogynist in the main group of green faction getting killed by sword of visenya was truly beautiful!

I don't think the show writers got why aemond was the way he was in the book, influence of alicent and cole and their constant insults of rhaenyra and lucerys, jacaerys and joff being whore, bastards and sinful, why his first line is about "kissing the old whore's cunny"

yes the strong speech but that isn't a direct quote like this one, it's more paraphrased

His end is not only justice for killing an innocent for his eye and starting a war, but also a thematic justice for being a woman hater. he's being peireced by the sword of a woman warrior! How is that so hard to understand!

Vhagar fumbled like balerion did at the end so I don't have anything to say about why she chose who she chose