#like i took an Honest Accounting ov the Good things that have happened this year that arent like.
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I know I'll feel better after my injection and everything feels so much worse bc I'm late on it but really fuck this whole year it's been actually so bad so far
#like i took an Honest Accounting ov the Good things that have happened this year that arent like.#sullied in retrospect yk. and its like.#cute valentines gift from gabi and collar from gabi.#meanwhile on the Bad end like.#2 year relationship breakup. friend od. cousin suicide. ex took cat in the breakup.#attempted a trip back to where i considered to be home just for no one to want to see me when i was there.#didnt even get to see my first irl jewish friend & peer's grave bc nobody would fucking talk to me.#lost my job bc the group ran out ov money. RIGHT before we were going to go to print too.#so the thing i spent a Year working on i have little to nothing to show for it in terms ov finding Future work.#its all so fucking bleak man.
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Never Alone💚🖤(Sylki)
***Lamentis-1***
It was over, all hope now lost. Loki and Sylvie had just ran and fought through what seemed like a small army of guards, all the while dodging falling meteors and debris from buildings around them. And yet, it was all for nothing. For the Ark that they fought so hard to reach had been destroyed by an incoming meteor just seconds after takeoff.
The sight left Loki and Sylvie there, shocked, winded, and hopeless. To the point where Sylvie had left Loki to stand there in shock while she walked off.
It took a moment to come down from his adrenaline rush for Loki to realize he was alone. Looking around, he noticed Sylvie was nowhere around and ran off to go find her. That didn't take too long as he soon found her in an abandoned bar that they had ran through for cover a little earlier. He walked in and joined her at her place at the bar and took a seat.
"Well, other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" He joked.
That earned him a confused look from Sylvie as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"That's something I heard back on Earth." He explained, "Humans use it when a situation turns out to their misfortune."
"Right," she replied, still quite surprised as she poured him a drink as well.
When she finished pouring, she pushed Loki's glass to him and he took it with a half smile. "Thank you." He thanked her and she nodded back.
"To us, then," he stated, holding his glass up. Sylvie snickered at that and clinked the butt of her bottle with his glass and they both took their drinks. However, she actually 'bottoms upped' the bottle and took a few gulps which took a whole half of the bottle within those gulps, almost like superspeed. Seeing this surprised Loki and made him laugh lightly. "Well, you certainly drink like an Asgardian." He joked.
Hearing that, she paused and let out a hearty belch before slamming the bottle down onto the counter, but not too hard to break it.
"I'll take that as a compliment." She replied, giving him a momentary smile before leaning forward on the counter. With that she sighed heavily and shook her head.
Loki noticed all of this and could tell her mood was down. He knew it might not be the best question, but he still wanted to show some form of... compassion to Sylvie. So he went ahead and asked, "Are you alright?"
The blonde lifted her head and look at her counterpart before looking off and shaking her head.
"You know, I honestly don't even know why I'm so upset about it right now." She stated.
Loki furrowed his eyebrows at that. "What do you mean, upset about what?"
"This, Loki! The Ark, trying to get to it in time! I already knew it wasn't going to work, and yet I still ran..."
"We both did. You didn't do it alone. I was there too, remember?"
"Yeah," she hummed, "I suppose that's true."
"And yet you still went along with the idea, my idea mind you, and we both ran and fought together to try and get there."
As much as she hated to admit it, Loki was right. She had done all of that. "Touché." She replied, earning a laugh from them both. Loki's more lively than hers and hers was more suppressed.
Their laughter was cut short when the ground and building shook on account of another meteor impacting in the city outside. The quake lasted only seconds before slowly calming down. As it did, Loki let out a sigh of his own. This truly had been quite a day. First he'd met "The Variant", Sylvie she called herself. And she was quite fetching, formidable too. Just like him...no pun intended. They'd snuck onto a train, shared secrets, thrown from the train and tried to reach a rescue vehicle known as The Ark. Failing miserably in the end. And now, here they were. In a bar, awaiting their fate.
With that thought in mind, Loki's thoughts seemed to drift to him and Sylvie. All that they were able to do when they worked together. They actually worked so in sync, quite the dynamic. In fact, it actually made him...curious. "So why'd you do it?" He asked.
Sylvie looked at him with a side-eyed look. "Do what?"
"Run with me, go with my idea? If you knew the Ark was going to be destroyed regardless, why did you go along with it?"
And right there, Sylvie couldn't speak. Well, not that she "couldn't", but the answer to that was somewhat hard to put into words...for her, that is.
"Oh, I figured a good run would be fun before we die." A sarcastic smile showing as she said that, but Loki wasn't amused. Instead he still sat there with an eyebrow raised, awaiting an answer. Seeing this made Sylvie sigh and reach up to rub the temples on her head. Finally coming to terms with it, she reluctantly spoke it. "I was ready to give up and just about kill you too, to be honest...but, when you said that thing about the Ark never having us on it, it...it made me think...'maybe, just maybe we could do it.'...But it's over now and turned out to be a waste of time."
Hearing Sylvie explain that gave Loki a warm poke to the heart and a bit of pride too. One of his signature devilish smiles made it's way to his face and he gave a light chuckle. Sylvie noticed this and looked at him curiously.
"So you're saying that I...gave you a bit of hope, as it were."
Sylvie rolled her eyes at that but couldn't fight back the smile that came to her face as well. "Oh shut up, you!"
"Oh no, it's quite alright." The God of Mischief said, still holding that smile, "in fact, it's quite flattering to know."
His counterpart laughed and looked at him unbelievingly and shook her head before he gave her a wink.
This made her laugh a little harder at him, as did he With the moment. But their laughter was cut short by another piece hit outside, making the whole pace shake.
This made them both perk up, having almost forgotten what was happening outside. The shaking only lasted about two seconds before it slowly died down.
As it did, the two slowly began to settle back into their spots.
Loki, not wanting to end so...quietly, thought up a way to somewhat ease the tension. "Well, seeing as how we haven't got much longer, is there anything you'd like to say?"
"What're you talking about?"
"You know, like any last words. Maybe of sentiment, regret... confession." He gave a shrug.
Sylvie merely scoffed at that and held her look confusion. "Since when did you become so emotional? If you're anything like me, you ought to know that I don't do teary goodbyes or anything like that."
She had Loki there, that was true. But he also had a hidden ace to toss back. "And if you're anything like me, you know that you don't because those kind of moments make it to where we merely choose not to." When he said that, Sylvie knew she was cornered...so to speak. "Come on, Sylvie. We may not be honest to many others, but can't we at least be honest to each other?...I thought we trusted each other."
It was that last sentence, that last sentence that did it for her. Her breath hitched in her throat and her heart began to beat like a drum. Deep down, Sylvie sadly knew Loki was right. This might be the only chance she'd get to have some last tender words...and be honest about them too. And if there was anyone she could share them with, Loki for sure would not be her first choice. But he was currently all she had at the time so he'd have to do.
Before she could actually reply, the ground vibrated and the building shook as another meteor hit the moon outside. The shockwave from it hit them and shook the place once again before stabilizing soon after.
"Right, well...I didn't get to finish my mission, and now I get to die with a stupid parallel version of myself."
Loki simply closed his eyes and chuckled to himself before opening them again to see Sylvie smiling cheekily at him before wiggling her eyebrows at him as she had done earlier that day on the train.
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked.
"No, you're right, it was quite nice." She smirked, her words dripping with sarcasm and tease. "Your turn."
Loki actually took some time to "Well, to be honest, I don't have much to say."
"Well that's a first." She quipped with a smirk.
Loki looked to her, feigning hurt before expanding. "What I mean is, I've only a mere handful of actual good memories, the majority of them were before I grew into my adolescent years."
As he spoke about that, Sylvie listened and her breath hitched a bit. Because that was exactly how it was for her too.
"But, I can say that...well...as far as family goes, my parents were quite... interesting...I do suppose I'll miss them...more or less. And as for Thor, as annoyingly valiant as he may be...he was always trying to look for the good in me...sometimes even at the cost of his own life." Loki thought back to his video file he watched back at the TVA headquarters, when saw and heard Thor say that he believed that there was good in him and that her still stand with him, despite all he'd done in the past, he still would. Tears began to well up in Loki's at that, and it seemed to hit him. He actually missed Thor, he truly did. "I honestly couldn't have asked for a better brother...one I don't even deserve...but I'm glad I had him...yeah."
And that bit right there made Sylvie's heart pinch, and a tear began to form in her eyes. From the sound of it, Loki had had people try to be there for him since Day One. Even when he did bad things, they still showed him loved and mercy, giving him another chance...something she never had.
"Wow," she said out loud, "sounds like you had it all."
Loki shrugged at that and wiped his tears, composing himself. "Well, what about you?" He asked, getting the topic off him, "What about this 'postman' of yours? If he was here right now, what would you say to him?"
"That uh...that was really a joke. I said it to try and shut you up, but that obviously didn't work."
"Ohhh. So then, you don't have anyone waiting for you after all, do you? No family, no lover...not even any friends?"
Sylvie merely gave him a silent shake of the head and began to feel tears forming in her eyes. "When you're on the run from an organization that has control over all time for over twenty years...you doing exactly have much time to stop and make friends."
"So you truly are alone..." It was more of a 'realization' statement than a question, and it was confirmed by the silent nod and saddening look forming I'm her face.
Now, Loki felt a few years coming himself, or at least the need to. Here was a girl who had everything taken from her, lost much in very painful ways, and...who wanted to belong. All of these, seemed to define him currently right now. It was then Loki felt something he hadn't for quite a while...empathy.
"I'm sorry..."
Sylvie lifted her head at that and looked at him. "For what?"
"That your life was broken by the TVA, that I've intruded on your plan...And I am especially sorry that you've been alone, all this time."
Hearing this fro. Loki hit Sylvie like a ton of bricks. These was something she hadn't really heard throughout her years much. They were words of comfort and empathy, she was able to see. But she felt as though there was more.
"And for what is worth, I promise you," Loki continued, reaching for her hand and giving it a firm squeeze, "you won't be alone when this moon is gone...not this time."
Looking into him deeply, Sylvie could see there wasn't one hint of deception within his words. They were all sincere, caring and compassionate. She couldn't help but crack a smile at his words. "Thank you." She tearfully replied, sniffling a little.
Loki gave a short nod and smiled, not letting go of her hand. And she didn't let go of his either, instead holding it tightly herself.
Since the moment was tender and open, Sylvie felt a sense of safety and comfort with her next words. "Listen, Loki, since we're dying soon, I think I should confess something to you. About you, actually."
"Alright, what is it?"
"Back on the train, when you tried to tell me what love is, or how you understood I should say," she tried.
"Yes?"
"Well, your dagger metaphor was actually quite... accurate."
Once again, his smile returned and he had a light chuckle. "Did you just compliment me?"
Sylvie rolled her eyes and chuckled herself. "Don't let it go to your head."
"Oh no, but that's the best part of it! Not letting that go, ever."
"Well since we're confessing something, I guess I can share this." The God of Mischief let out a breath before continuing, "I do feel bad that there isn't anyone waiting for you... because if they were, they would have...quite the enchantress to expect. And I mean that in every sense of the word."
A twinkle in her eyes as Sylvie took in those words and felt her cheeks hear up. "That may be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"Well I'm honored to be the first." Loki smiled and took a dramatic bow, earning a other laugh from Sylvie.
Suddenly, another ground shake came, this one more severe than the last. And then more kept coming simultaneously. From this the two Variants could tell, the moon's end was among them.
"It seems as though our time is up."
"Yep," Sylvie agreed.
"Not exactly how I pictured dying this time, but, looks like there's no escaping this one."
Suddenly, an idea popped into Sylvie's head. "What if there was?" She asked Loki.
"What?"
Sylvie held up one of her hands and tapped her temple, referring to her power of enchantment, "If you let me in, I could use it to send you to a place within your memories and you won't feel it when the pain comes. It'll be just like a light turning off and turning a room dark...A peaceful ending."
While the idea did sound quite an appealing alternative to what was coming from outside, there was still one thing that worried him. "Well what about you?"
At that, a soft smile came to Sylvie as she heard the worry in Loki's voice. "It's ok, I'll be alright."
"No!" Loki retorted, determination in his eyes. "I will not let you send me off to some mental paradise while you stay here and endure this death alone! No, I made a promise that when you died, you would not do it alone. That I would be RIGHT HERE to suffer through it with you, and by Odin, I'm sticking to it!"
Like a hunter after prey, Loki was determined to stick with Sylvie. Now truthfully, she could've put him into his trance as he was ranting to her. Yet, she was mesmerized by the loyalty and compassion that Loki displayed in this very moment. Dare she say, she actually found it...attractive.
"Well what do you propose we do then?" She asked sweetly.
Almost instantly, Loki thought of an idea. "We could both could go. We could send each other into my memory and ride it out together."
From this a light smile came to her lips and a tear escaped from her eyes. Yet again this " idiot" she'd grown fond of thought up a way for them both still to work together and still have a peaceful ending. However, there was also one more sad factor that was left out. "But you don't know how to do it."
"Teach me, right now. Crash course lesson."
A look of hesitation appear in her eyes, but another squeeze from Loki's hand seems to break the ice as she let out a sigh and gave a short nod. "All right. First thing, go into your mind and think about a place you've been that you want to go. Once you find it, hold it there."
With those instructions, Loki them closed his eyes and began to think of a place. It took a moment and his thoughts surprised even him, but he finally found one and held on to it. "Ok, I've got it."
"Got it? Ok, now," Sylvie brought her hand up and positioned it as though she was getting ready for an arm wrestle. Fortunately, Loki knew what this meant and met her halfway, locking his hand with hers. "for this part, you need to clear your mind. Clear it out and focus on my voice. You should be able to see into my mind now...can you see me...can you?"
Loki searched and searched through the darkness, at first nothing. But what he found that helped was focusing on the sound of Sylvie's voice. He listened to it and it echoed throughout his brain. Focusing on it seems to make everything thing else around them slip away. Suddenly, a green spark of power emanated from his fingers and against her temple. He could feel her there and mentally moved towards her. The more he did, the brighter a small light which represented her presence seemed to shine until it shined purely within the darkness. He'd found her, he'd done it!
Eyes still closed, he smiled happily as he nodded. "I did it, I found you!"
Sylvie smiled at this and shed another tear of joy. It was working! She could feel him within her mind and he her too. "Good job! Now think back to that place you want to be...And take us there."
Finally, Loki focused on the place in his mind and also Sylvie, bringing her with him. Aaaaannnd...
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It seemed to happen almost like a flash, but when the two opened their eyes and looked to see where they were, they could see that they weren't in the bar on Lamentis-1 anymore. Well, at least not physically.
They were now on a cliff that was somewhat familiar to Loki. He learned of it at the TVA when he watched his file on video. And now, here it was. A mental reality for him and Sylvie.
At first glance, Sylvie could tell they were in the countryside of some area. But curiosity still plagued her.
"Where did you bring us?" She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Looking out to the open sea before them, Loki began to feel tears form once again. "...This is where my father died."
Sylvie's head swiveled to look up at Loki, her eyes wide with surprise after hearing his words. "What?" She breathlessly asked.
Loki silently nodded, letting out a heavy sigh through his nostrils. "I saw this place in my file at the TVA...It's actually from my...well, what would've been my future."
Sylvie's heart began to ache for Loki. He truly had, in a way, come full circle, and yet it was still fraught with pain.
"I'm so sorry, Loki."
"It's ok. I'm sure my father was peaceful here when he died...He told me and Thor to remember this place...home."
"And you did," Sylvie lovingly commended Loki, looking him straight in his eyes, "and for the next few minutes or however long we have, it's our home now." She hugged him from the side to which he tearfully smiled and immediately hugged her back.
As he did, he thought about her previous words. Those were truly sincere and, well, loving. And he loved it. Opening his eyes to look at her, he noticed how close his face was to the top of her head which was buried in his chest. Feeling a sense of boldness, he lowered his nose into her hair and took in a good whiff of her scent. This did not go unnoticed by the woman as she perked her head up and eyed Loki with a teasing look.
"Were you just sniffing my hair?" She asked, already knowing the answer, but she still wanted to hear what he'd say.
Loki tried to play it off, but failed miserably. "No." His crooked smile was almost a dead giveaway.
Sylvie lifted an eyebrow with an "Oh really?" look before looking at his chest where his heart would be and smirked, she could feel his heart beginning to speed up. "Liar. Your body betrays you."
I'm that moment, Loki chuckled nervously and began to blush. Something that didn't really happen to him very often, if at all. "Can you blame me?"
Back in the real world, the two variants, while still in their deep-minded states, shifted their hands to interlock their fingers, strengthening their bond.
A small burst of green energy flashing their interlocked hands.
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***Cliff, Loki's Subconscious***
Loki and Sylvie were still locked in their embrace until they say down on the huge boulder, still holding hands and looking out onto the open sea.
"It's beautiful, " the blonde variant stated, smiling at the water that reached all the way to the horizon.
"Right, beautiful," Loki agreed. But Sylvie felt that they weren't talking about the same thing. Turning her vision to him, she saw him staring at her instead of the horizon. He obviously found this view far more beautiful than the nature about them.
This caused to Sylvie to smile shyly before blushing herself. She lowered her to hide the red coming in her cheeks, but it was brought back up by Loki who had a finger under her chin. The feeling giving the blonde a warm feeling in her face and all over, while it gave Loki another small burst of courage.
Taking the hand already under her chin, he moved it to cup the back of her neck and slowly lean forward. To his surprise, Sylvie followed suit and leaned in as well. They kept nearing until they were just a lips distance away from each other.
"Loki?"
"Yes, Sylvie?"
"Thank you for not leaving me alone."
"Never."
With one final smile thanks to that, it was Sylvie who leaned the rest of the way in and brought her lips to his, cupping his cheek as she closed the small gap between them. Once their lips collided, Loki felt a strong wind blow, as did Sylvie. But this was the good kind, the kind that came when your heart is bursting with excitement.
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***Reality***
The green swirls that surrounded the two grew stronger and shined brightly as the meteors outside came hurtling down, cracking the ground and taking out multiple buildings in the process. The moon had only seconds left.
Everyone outside had either sought shelter or ran frantically to avoid the incoming shower from above. But in this building, these two, Loki and Sylvie were oblivious to the forthcoming horrors of the outside world. For they were happy within their own little sanctuary, content with each other.
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***Loki's Subconscious***
After what seemed like a glorious eternity, the two variants finally broke their kiss and came up for air. They breathed heavily and leaned their foreheads against each other and looked into one another's eyes, breathless smiled coming with them.
And though they wanted to continue, they resisted the urge and kept their eyes looked on each other and decided this was how they wanted to end. Looking into one another's eyes, the eyes of the one they had...the one they had fallen in love with.
"This is it." Loki stated.
"I guess so," Sylvie agreed.
The two took the other's hands and held tightly. Their end close at hand.
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***Reality***
A huge junk of the cracking planet was now hurtling toward the moon, and it's landing point would be RIGHT in the city of Lamentis-1. None of the people within a mile of there would survive, more specifically, Loki and Sylvie, who were still in their enchanted state, would not survive.
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***Bar***
Suddenly, a golden time portal opened up within the bar and Hunter B-15 and two other Minutemen came through and Saw the two variants they had searched relentlessly for.
"Get them!" She ordered.
The Minutemen complied and marched over to the bar and grabbed Loki and Sylvie, pulling them apart.
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***Cliff, Loki's Subconscious***
Loki and Sylvie awaited their fate, hands together and foreheads connected. With eyes locked in each other until...
Everything went dark.
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