#like i think she will be a good therapist but i hope it doesn't discourage her | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silenthillmutual · 1 year ago

Note

do you mind expanding on why you don't like CBT? i'm just curious cause i also have various things wrong w me (including baaddd fatigue) & i've been doing cbt for like 6 months for anxiety :P

i don't mind! but there's not really a ton to my answer. i expect that a part of why cbt doesn't work for me is because my mother is a therapist who used cbt (and judging from some things she's said about my childhood, probably aba) with me growing up, and it just... didn't work. it never lessened my anxiety. back in undergrad i had a cbt workbook, thinking it would help me work through the problems i was having, but every time i tried to use it, it just made me more stressed out.

sort of related, but the apa's page on cbt starts off by talking about how it's the most effective for of treatment for pretty much everything, better than medication, but the page doesn't link to any studies about this and i'm not sure if thats something you even could objectively measure. but the idea that it's 'more effective than medication' for even 'severe mental illness' feels like complete bullshit to me, and i think it creates a bias in some therapists, as i felt discouraged from taking medications in the past.

i don't deny that cbt helps some people, but i also don't believe it's possible to simply problem-solve your way out of, for example, hypo/mania or even depressive episodes when youve got bipolar disorder. which is, i'm guessing, part of why it doesnt do shit for people with cfs. the idea that someone experiencing a flare up can rationalize their way into feeling better is utterly ridiculous. cbt is, i am fairly certain, the main treatment for ocd, but how is it supposed to help me when my borderline delusional brain has already rationalized both the obsessive thought and the compulsive behavior?

i agree with the central tenet that coping skills are important, but something about the way cbt has been used with me has consistently made me feel like it was my fault that my brain works the way it does, and whenever i bring up something that happened in the past i feel dismissed. ive literally been told by therapists that since i no longer live in a bad situation, i should no longer act like i do, despite having lived in that situation for 84% of my life. it just feels like a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' approach to therapy that does not click with me at all.

regardless of my personal problems with it, i do hope it helps you, anon - and if it doesnt, i hope you find something that does! i think a lot of younger therapists are taking the approach to use a variety of therapies instead of sticking to just one. good luck!

#harker answers #idk how to tag this

15 notes · View notes

despair-to-future-arcs · 4 months ago

Note

I hope Koyuki’s doing well!

MIAYA: That's... really unfortunate, Mikan. I'm so sorry that happen; but I'm sure Mrs. Hirawa wouldn't blame you for what happen.

Bu-But she died because of me, i-if I just follow orders and got the male nurses, th-then maybe-.

MIAYA: She would of still gotten hurt, it appears that man got really impatient and strike her, as say it wasn't your fault and even then I don't think she was trying to discourage you from going to Hope's Peak but figure you still needed training and help.

Hu-Huh? Bu-But she seem to be against it...!

MIAYA: No, she say it was 'too soon', correct? She thought that maybe you should try and get help with your trauma and traumatic past, it doesn't mean she isn't saying you should never go but saying you should wait until your ready, there's a difference.

Ri-Right, she did say that... An-And at least that man was arrested, still I wish I knew what happen to him but probably he's dead.

MIAYA: Right, I'm sure he was; well... anyway, what happen after?

We-Well, after that; I still worked as a nurse and continuing studying and then the day of me going to Hope's Peak arrive...

...

Date: March 31st, 2010

Okay, everything has been packed and I'm ready to go...

Th-Thanks for helping me with packing, Mr. Hirawa; it was nice of you to offer.

KOU: Heh, of course Mikan; as say before, my wife spoke of you pretty positively and I feel that while stern you seem like a good kid despite some issues...

Ri-Right, I suppose so, huh? Still, I don't think I deserve any kindness after what happen to her.

KOU: Look... none of it was your fault, okay? It was just an accident and you were trying to help, just that the guy had some problems so don't blame yourself too much...

I su-suppose so...

KOU: ...But, I do agree with her; you need some mental help since you seem trouble.

Huh? I do...?

KOU: Yeah, I've work with abused kids and you do remind me of them but I don't think not sending you to Hope's Peak help either, so I figure I give you this before you leave. *gives Mikan a card*

A card...?

KOU: Yeah, it's for a therapist at Hope's Peak I heard about, her name was Miaya Gekkogahara; she is apart of Class 75 and I think she can help you so maybe go meet her when you get the chance.

O-Oh, I...I see then, thank you very much sir; I'll be sure to do that when I get there, will uh... since tomorrow, I'll be going to Hope's Peak, we should eat something, right?

KOU: Yeah, don't worry I'll drive you tomorrow there and get you ready, so let's enjoy ourselves.

...

Date: April 1st, 2010

S-So this is Hope's Peak Academy...?! I...I can't believe I'll be attending this place for 3 years...

Bu-But still, maybe now I can change for the better and work on my talent I mean; I really want to find a future of my own and find a better life...

Ye-Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine! I will finally work on my future here annnnnnnnnn-!

'Then after that I don't remember what happen, the last thing I recall was stepping towards the school gates and then the next thing I knew, I woke up in a pod... that's all I remember...'

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #ds:rw #despair side: re write #ds ep 11 #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #dr3 #danganronpa 3 #miaya gekkogahara #mikan tsumiki #anonymous #spyrkle4

0 notes

nsk96 · 1 year ago

Text

Personal rant

So, my school requires us to do these "co-curriculars" and there's a type of co-curricular called a "health fair" and this is when we do vaccination drives, health screenings, patient education, etc. for a community.

Today I had a health fair at my school's pharmacy and everything was going good until near the end of the shift. One of the doctor's on campus came in to get his flu shot and all was okay. He joked around with us and the pharmacy staff while he filled out his paperwork.

Once he was done, I carried his paper to the pharmacy tech so she can enter it in. Once she was done, she handed the paperwork to one of the pharmacists there. The pharmacist looked around and was asking who was going to prepare the syringe. She looked at me as well, but I didn't say anything. Then my friend, one of the people who helped organize the health fair, came up to the counter, realizing they need help, and asked this pharmacist if she needed help. The pharmacist said yes. So, my friend came back to behind the counter. She was handling the syringes the whole shift so I know she knows where all the materials are, so I was happy that she came up. I went with her to prepare the syringe.

Once done, I carried it over to the same pharmacist to check it, and at the same time, someone else was carrying the doctor to the room to give him the shot. I was confused because the one we were preparing was for him. The pharmacist turned to me and loudly said, "who even are you?" before I even spoke. I didn't know what else to say so I just said my name and that I'm a student for the health fair since she seems to have forgotten. Then she was like "you're supposed to introduce yourselves" (which we did at the beginning of the shift). Then she sarcastically said, "so we're just drawing up syringes?" Like, she was just going off and I froze and went blank. There were no thoughts going through my head. I couldn't feel my body like I was nonexistent or something. I could hear what she was saying but I couldn't understand what she was saying in the moment. It was like my mom yelling at me, except it wasn't my mom. I was only able to recall what was said at a later time. My friend was next to me at this point and thank god she was there. She explained the situation to the pharmacist and helped cleared up the fact that we were not aware that someone else was preparing the doctor's vaccine. Then she calmed down.

Afterwards my friend was irritated and I was still trying to process what just happened. When I got home and told my mom everything, she said, "just tell yourself not to freeze." So helpful right? 🙄 It's something that just happens and I seem to have no control over, how am I supposed to tell myself that, if my brain goes blank or if my brain decides to think of something else like it normally does. Then she said I need to bring out a firm voice and "send it back to her (the pharmacist) in a polite way." How tf am I supposed to do that all of a sudden? This is a skill that is learned from the years of experience I don't have. When I said, I think it's too late to learn it, my mom said, "it's not too late. I learned it later than your age." Which for a second gave me hope until I remembered that my mom forgets how old I actually am (she estimates down). Also, not to mention, she has a lifetime in the customer service field which she has been working since, what...18??? She's now a senior citizen??? While when it was my chance, she discouraged me from getting a job at every turn. Only now she wants to encourage me to get a job but I'm in pharmacy school now and need every minute for studying and therefore can't balance a job with school no matter how much I want with my whole heart to have a job. I can't because my brain won't let me and my mom doesn't want me seeing a therapist nor psychiatrist before I get a job....

I feel like if I don't get the treatment I need, I won't last one week at a job. There's so much I got away with on IPPE rotations just because I am a student. As an employee, they will think of my spacing out in the middle of receiving instructions and bad memory as not caring about the job. They'll think my inability to have a conversation about something (unless it's about something I'm passionate about) as me not wanting to talk. They will see my silent panic as incompetence or lack of intelligence. They will see my inability to defend myself as a sign of weakness and will therefore make me their punching bag at work, or just let me drown and take the blame for everything. Heaven knows how they will see my other issues like my inability to stay still for long periods of time fighting the urge to tap on the desk, or start randomly dancing to the song I suddenly remember, or my inability to be organized when I'm overwhelmed (and I get overwhelmed easily), how difficult it is for me to stay on schedule as well as create a schedule when I have none, how I procrastinate for days only to complete everything last minute, etc,.

The inability to defend myself is my mom's fault though, I'm not denying it any longer. How am I supposed to learn how to defend myself all of a sudden, when I wasn't allowed to defend myself in my own home? That every time I tried to speak up for myself, it was treated as an act of disrespect or aggression. I try to fix this shit myself, but time and time again it's proven to me that I can't do it alone.

When I see my friend again tomorrow I will thank her. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would have happened.

Also, if you're reading this, don't forget to get your flu shot this flu season. Stay safe <3

#personal rant #pharmacy school adventures #pharmacy student #childhood trauma

0 notes

fazeruined · 11 months ago

Text

The problem with these bits of footage was exactly that, they were bits. The rest was seemingly long lost, and with it, the full context. Those remaining bits surviving until someone could find them were nothing short of a miracle-- or a damnation, for Gregory.

He could scream and cry that it was self-defense all he wanted, but without evidence to back up his claims, he could hardly make a dent against the remaining evidence that now damns him. Not to mention he has already shown to be dishonest, lying to escape the consequences of his actions. His words have to be taken with a pillar of salt at best. Anything he says can be a lie-- he's already lied to Freddy, who's to say he's not lying to Cassie right now? He must be. He's already lied to her before, promising to help her get to safety... only to send her plummeting down. He likely hadn't counted on her surviving the elevator he dropped with her to her death, so now he must be trying to trick her again.

He fooled (then betrayed) her once. It won't happen again.

Because she'll never trust him again for that to be possible.

Seeing how terrified he got when she threatened to let Freddy know who his 'superstar' really is gave Cassie an odd sense of relief, albeit small. His response was clear that she had poked just right on a weakness. Good. But, she also knows better than to just dive in-- she did just that once, to save who she thought was her friend, and look where that got her-- besides, who's to say Gregory won't try and 'sic' Freddy on her to 'finish the job' the elevator didn't, before she can expose him?

No. They say revenge is best served cold, after all.

" Oh, I can't? " She says, almost tauntingly, but her anger still shines through. She scoffs at Gregory's 'defense,' clearly not believing him. She's known these animatronics since she was very little, long before even meeting Gregory. They put nothing but joy in her heart and smiles on her face, and it held true to just about every other child that's visited the PizzaPlex. The claim they were trying to kill someone, a kid no less, for no reason, was absolutely ridiculous.

" You really expect me to believe that, about these animatronics that I've known since I was like a toddler? " Even the bits of footage with the lost context made it harder to believe-- nothing the animatronics said in those remaining recordings seemed hostile, on the contrary, they sounded reassuring.

"Are you hungry?" "Let me take you to your parents." "We're only trying to help."

They really seemed to be acting just as intended in face of a trespasser. If they were hostile, it must have been after as a result of Gregory shattering them then stealing from their broken bodies to further rub salt on the injury. Why wouldn't someone be angry after that?

And as far as Cassie's concerned, he also intentionally tried to kill her despite them being friends before then, so she's not holding it past him to do despicable things to others, animatronic or human, selfishly.

She's lost her mother to a Fazbear employee as their therapist, then lost her father to a work-related incident (or so that's what it was labeled as, though at this point she doesn't quite believe that.) Gregory had freaking vanished, and the PizzaPlex was no more. She had literally NOTHING but her life left. Then that old endoskeleton tried to use her to free itself by pretending to be Gregory-- and she of course dove in, hoping to have at least one of her friends again, on the way she finds Roxy and the others (or what was left of them,) and slowly gathers that Gregory took them and the PizzaPlex away from her in a way; and after everything, he tried to take her life too. Or so she thinks.

" Almost everything I had, YOU took from me one way or another! Why shouldn't I return it!? "

It seemed she was going to say or do something more, but a garble of static interrupted her. Still keeping her sparking Faz-wrench pointed at Gregory to discourage him from trying anything 'funny', she reaches with her other hand into her waist under her blouse, pulling out a Roxy-talky.

"C- Gretel?" It was Roxanne Wolf's voice speaking through the device, clearly nearly slipping up before using the fake name. "Where are you? Did something happen!?" It was audible that Roxy was alarmed by Cassie not showing up wherever they agreed to meet after they were done with whatever they were after in this warehouse.

Cassie looks back at Gregory, clearly debating what should be her next move.

" ... you know, if I told Roxy you're here, you wouldn't even know what got you. She still remembers you very well. " The silently threatening way she said that was chilling, obviously implying Roxy did not remember him fondly. Still making eye-contact with the boy and her Faz-wrench pointed at him, she brings the Roxy-talky closer to her mouth and speaks.

" ... sorry about that Roxy. It's nothing, I just got distracted. I'll try meeting up with you and the others soon. "

"... well, okay. But please try not to take too long." Roxy could be heard before the communication ended. Cassie put away the Roxy-talky, but didn't bring her hand back yet.

" You're lucky I have far more pressing matters at the moment. " Like repairing Roxy and the others. They're far more vulnerable in their broken state, and Cassie would never pull them into a risky plan unless they were back in their former glory and thus much more stable and resilient. Right now they all need to heal before anything else. So she's willing to let Gregory go.

... but she also pulls out something else.

She covers her face with her Vanni mask, the familiar smily rabbit face staring blankly at the boy with crimson eyes, Cassie's eyes staring from behind.

" I have a long and hard work ahead of me, of trying to help clean the mess YOU made! To help make it better to those YOU broke! "

Unbeknownst to Gregory, the mask highlighted some things on him in Cassie's vision... like the Fazwatch on his wrist. Looking down at the little screen of her Faz-wrench through the mask lenses displayed the watch's signature trace, which she opted to save by discreetly pressing a button on the Faz-wrench.

... meaning she can track his Fazwatch from now on.

But she tells him nothing about that, opting to not let him know-- she wants to keep the advantage of the surprise element. Besides, she doesn't plan to do anything with that now, it's just going to the back-burner. Like she said so herself, she has more pressing matters.

" And if you're lucky, it'll take me months, maybe even years. " She says, removing her mask again. " Now, if I stick around here much longer, Roxy will probably come over here herself, and if she spots you... "

Freddy was nowhere in sight. Even calling him on his old Fazwatch did nothing, which must have meant that he was too far away to help. It made sense, considering Gregory left him to charge, since he had no other options than to use the battery they - Gregory - stole to finally escape the PizzaPlex.

It didn't help that he left his Fazerblaster back at the van as well, not that he'd use it against Cassie unless it was absolutely necessary. But was needing to defend yourself from someone attacking you out of nowhere an absolutely necessary situation?

And was it out of nowhere?

Cassie certainly had a point about what happened to the animatronics, and Gregory was completely silent in his shame. It was true. As soon as he entered Parts and Service to rescue Freddy from the Daycare Attendant, he saw the blueprints on the wall, he saw the upgrades. They would help Freddy, and they would help him escape too.

Everything he did to get those upgrades was planned and thought out, there was no denying it. But that wasn't the full story!

For the whole night, Gregory had been terrified, running on instinct and adrenaline alone. And everything he did was what he thought was necessary. Yes, those updates were beneficial for Freddy, but it also helped him get away from the animatronics who were trying their best to kill him. Surely Cassie must have seen that on the footage as well.

And breaking - shattering - the animatronics hadn't been such a huge benefit to Gregory in the long run either. They were still dangerous and violent, and with each incident, Gregory still ended up hurt. A sprained ankle from avoiding Montgomery Gator, a broken wrist from the fall in Roxy Raceway, bruises covering his body from getting dragged by Glamrock Chica. He never emerged unscathed after one of those... incidents.

But he was aware of how it looked. No matter how it was presented, Gregory planned their downfall. Did it matter that he was scared? Did it matter that he was hurt too? Did it matter that they would have killed him if he didn't break them first?

Gregory was silent the whole time. There was nothing to do or say. Until Cassie mentioned telling Glamrock Freddy about everything that happened, and his face turned pale from the fear. No matter how kind Freddy is, he wouldn't stand for Gregory lying to him all this time. He raised his head to look back at her, eyes wide with fear.

"No... No, Cassie, you can't!" It wasn't like Gregory could stop her if that was what she wanted to do, but the thought was terrifying. What would Freddy do? Kill him? Or worse, leave him behind? Leave him to fend for himself out in the cold again?

"Cassie, please! You're right! I shattered them on purpose, I lied to Freddy! But I had no choice! They would have killed me first! They did try... I'll take anything you give me, but you can't tell Freddy! He's the only thing I have left..." Yes, that was true. But Gregory hadn't taken the fact that Roxy was one of the last things that Cassie had left, did he?

#6am saveme #6amsaveme #;returning guests will be granted free admission to the pizzaplex;; f2f #v; black stars over the horizon;; fnaf sb ruin escaped end 2 #dw youre good👌#also now the thought of cassie after some time tracking gregorys fazwatch to find freddy...... ooohohoho #i noticed you also rp freddy... we could do a sequel thread after this... :3c #;stick to the schedule;; queue

9 notes · View notes

ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years ago

Note

I’m not the previous Chris anon but I have been thinking about this lately so I hope this is fine to share? To be clear I love all your characters and find you a marvelous author and also if Chris were real I would 100% be his best friend. But sometimes it did get under my skin how coddled he is compared to the other characters? Like, most of the time he does nothing and people are just willing to walk on coal for him. I understand that he was rescued very young and it was only natural for Nat and Jake and the others to take on a more parental role than with the other rescues, but it does feel kind of… unfair at times, how even way later as an adult Chris is still this boy who can do no wrong. I think it’s been on my mind since the therapy piece with Nova. Obviously Nova was in the wrong! but seeing that even their therapist inwardly admits to favoring Chris even when she knows she shouldn’t is… Idk, I feel like if the others sensed that that would be pretty discouraging, especially considering he got, like, adopted by Jake too and everything? But then again they probably wouldn’t mind cuz it’s Chris. Again, Chris is obviously loved by many and I would never try to diminish the significance of his story (I myself have read all his pieces, so, you know)! And I wouldn’t even say it’s unrealistic because there are definitely people who are just like that, who naturally make those instincts kick. Chris isn’t even a “perfect victim” or anything, so for me it’s not really his characterization personally but more to do with how everyone else treats him in-universe? It makes me think if he would’ve gotten the same treatment if he was taken in older or even if he were just more assertive! Or perhaps he gets the most help (or it seems like it) because he knows how to accept it and people can sense that? I can’t really blame that when the other rescues are often understandably bad at receiving help, so it does make sense. I’m so sorry for how all over the place this is! I’m constantly thinking about your characters and Chris has just been at the forefront recently so I had to take the opportunity lol

Also: OH and I also wanted to say that I feel like perhaps the reason that can be frustrating is that it can evoke this feeling of “well, I relate to Chris and nobody would treat ME like that if I were vulnerable” — but I think that’s also the significance of his story, because when you get over that defensiveness what you’re left with is that everyone deserves that, actually, and there are people out there who are genuinely willing to let you rely on them. At least that’s been my experience with Chris!

Ooooh, yes. Actually, let me tell you why that detail in the therapy piece really resonated with me. I do tend to write therapist that largely know what they're doing, and are very good at their jobs. But in this case, that sort of ran head first into my need to write real people who are three-dimensional and imperfect.

Dr. Berger knows she shouldn't let her feelings on Chris change her way of treating Nova - and it doesn't, not outwardly - but she is human, and therefore prone to mistakes.

Nova is low-empathy, while you could say that Chris has hyper-empathy in a lot of ways. On the surface this makes him more immediately endearing to people, although it also makes him more dependent on receiving positive emotional reinforcement and attention than she is. Nova is actually self-contained in a lot of ways, although she very much misses human contact and seeks out affection. Sarita balances that well with her!

But yeah, Dr. Berger inwardly prefers Chris as a patient. And recognizes that fact, and takes care to make sure she still treats Nova with the same dignity and care as Chris.

There's an AU of him where he isn't taken in by anyone until he is in his early twenties, and he is even more dependent and frightened of the world after years of living on the streets. And he struggles a lot more with panic responses and how to moderate behaviors. It would be interesting to think more on that and how it would affect him in the safehouse.

#chris asks

22 notes · View notes

darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years ago

Note

I feel uncomfortable related to the mental state of the read in Stranger at the Door.

Like I was in her place mentally, but I got good mental help, even my family (mother) isn't the best at least isn't that abusive.

So this fic makes uncomfortable but in good way, like, the worst way that I can ended...

And some details that I have seen and I don't know if I image:

The unhealthy and abuse mother, like when reader told her that she wanted to look for a job, the "mother" makes her feel unable and he emotionally blackmails her.

How the mother likes her now out of her way, but no out, like don't break my illusion of perfect romance, but say and complet my "perfect family". Like mam, isn't normal to engage to some one that your child isn't uncomfortable, yes, she is an adult but lives under your care and home.

It's. Not. Normal.

Because your child is an adult your work isn't done, you still in charge of them (and more in the case of the reader, because if I'm correct, the shitty psychiatrist gives her the legal guardianship, that makes me think that this case have been even worse) and that doesn't give you the right to abuse them.

We don't have here good sides here only bad and worst. Bad Loki because being a and abuser (and Thor too) and worst the mother for being one AND bring home another abuser plus be a horrible mother overall.

Her shitty psychiatric, like, your patient who was remarkably improving suddenly has an episode and regresses significantly, blame her; do not pay attention to the fact that a strange man walked into her home, her mother needs more therapy than her, and that, very importantly, she has just confessed to you that she was sexually abused. Like, is a textbook example! A young, vulnerable and dependent girl with a recent entry of a male relative into her home has a horrible regression to the point of being in a catatatonic state, and the first thing that crosses the mind is that she is being abused; it literally checks all the points of sexual abuse.

(Sadly sexual abuse occurs in the family, to the weakest members, and is well known by any health and legal professional)

I hate mental professionals that do their work like shit, that's even worse than the mother, he knows it's wrong and chooses to ignore it. The one how professionally trained, chose to do the exact opposite of all that is been recommended and taught.

I have been in her position, depressed and auto isolated, but I have been lucky to find the best psychiatrist for me (I have been to countless mental professionals but I didn't connect with them) who I can trust and have treat me with respect and decency.

Yes, my mother haven't change, but at least I have some one who understands that I not broken (and, said in my family, mad) and has the right training to help me.

Sorry for the TED talk, but I see myself in this reader (with the distances that, fortunately, I did not have to go through sexual abuse)

I love this fic, and I know that this is a tragedy, but I don't expect a comedy either (a play with a good ending), I hope for that but I know that you don't write that. I love your tragedies ♥️

Firstly, thanks fo sending this and thank you for reading!

I'm happy you go appropriate help and the therapist in this story is not a good doctor at all. I hope we all can have good help one day.

The mother sets up the reader to be stuck. Somehow she is encouraging bu discouraging. She no doubt has her seeing a doctor who feeds into her own self-righteous opinion that she's her daughter's keeper and has kept her safe. The mom is very selfish and borderline narcissistic.

Loki definitely doesn't help. He's opportunistic and cruel. He sees reader as vulnerable and knows the mom is easily sweet talked and fooled. He easily uses mom pent up resent against the daugter and for his own ends.

Im sorry your mother hasnt taken the effort to look inward but it's a hard fact to sccept that not everyone wants to get better or change. Sadly. And i know for a fact how toxic parent can be.

Wishing you peace 💗

11 notes · View notes

epajournal · 8 years ago

Conversation

Anonymous9837 Not seeing new messages? Click here to correct.

Anonymous9837: