#like i know there are probably some food fb groups to post in but not sure which ones

[goatdays]

Hello spinning tumblr! Does anyone know if there are any good places to resale used spinning equipment? (Other than craigslist and fb marketplace). My elderly friend is down sizing her spinning equipment and so I'm trying to help her sale her Jensen Ashley wheel and her Louet carder. I'm just wondering if anyone has advice on places to post them?

Pictures attached for reference:

[stardust-swan]

Hi babe! Do you have any examples on how Lalla Malika has helped you since you are working with her? Also, if can't have a real altar for her do you think e offerings are ok? Thank you!

Well, I've only been working with her for a few months, but I've definitely noticed I receive more material gifts now.

One example (which is honestly kind of weird) is that someone went to my Amazon holiday registry and bought a bunch of things? Now I've never shared this wishlist with my family or on social media or anything, I just have a list to keep track of things I might want to buy in the future because unlike a regular shopping list you can organise a holiday registry into different sections which makes them way easier to navigate. I've been doing this for years but this is the first time someone actually found it and bought from it? A couple weeks back someone bought like 12-15 things from it. A few Burt's Bees things, some books, candles, some makeup, a pair of earrings I'd liked but debated about getting. I looked up the name of the person and they're a lawyer/ex-lawyer (?) in another country who I don't know. I wondered if it was a mistake, but they never cancelled any of the gifts and then today they came back and bought a couple more things off my list. I think she attracted someone who likes being a kind of secret Santa at Christmas time to my list. There have been a couple more incidents like that but not as interesting, just my family giving me gifts or money unprompted.

I also think I've gotten more compliments than normal. When I wear makeup people compliment the colours and application. When I don't I still get compliments but on the quality of my skin and my freckles instead. Usually I'll get compliments occasionally but now it seems more frequent, and I know I don't actually look better than I did before (I probably look worse tbh because I gained weight at Halloween and then again during Xmas season).

I personally think it's perfectly fine to make e-offerings if you can't make a physical altar. If you wish to work with her, it's better to do something than nothing. Plenty of people in the FB group post pictures that remind them of her which is virtually the same thing. If you'd like to make physical offerings but don't have a space for a permanent altar, the official belief is that you should take a tray and place incense, an offering of food, and a piece of jewellery on it, as the tray acts as an altar.

[rederiswrites]

Posted this on FB, and I suppose I can post it pretty much unaltered here, as well:

A lot of you are probably thinking, "Why would you do this to yourself? Do you even have fun at Pennsic?" and like…that's fair. I have a complex relationship with Pennsic, and it's certainly not all positive. I have to evaluate every year whether it's worth putting myself through what I know will be a grueling experience, definitely physically but also mentally. I whine about prep, and I whine while I'm there (just ask Jacob). But I still almost always decide to go.

I do it for the music, I do it for the colorful joy of the whole site, for everyone's willingness to make the best of what they have. I do it a little bit for the shopping, a little for the food, but overwhelmingly, I actually do it for other people. Not, like, selflessly--I want to see those people, and I do want the aforementioned things--but really, mostly, for other people.

For my kids, who always benefit so tremendously from the expanded social opportunities, from overcoming the challenges, from all the chances to spread their wings, for all the immediate reinforcements for good behavior. Who see music and dancing, try new food, see people striving for the heights of their respective crafts. They get concrete ways to help, a smoother transition into the adult world than modern life offers--every year, my kids leap forward during Pennsic. I would hate to lose that.

And for my campmates, who are my family, and a more important part of my life than much of my blood family. To be with them, of course, and also because we all know how hard it is to overcome the loss of even some of our members, in a small group. I would never voluntarily do that to my dear ones. I share the group's dreams for the future, and losing more members just isn't an option.

Yeah, it was too much. Collapsing is about the definition of it was too much. I was physically uncomfortable pretty much the entire time, and in significant pain for most of it. That's actually--well, at least at home relief is more easily accessible. Every year, we look for ways to make things easier, we make changes that we hope will help. And every year, new challenges arise. Some of this year's challenges were pretty awful. Next year, we'll probably do the same-- make some changes, try to arrange things better in advance, do our best, and keep hoping for the best. Because my loved ones are always worth it, still.

[blackrabbittwst]

Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You

A/N: So I was talking to a friend about this Facebook post I saw on a Twst FB group:

So I’m actually vegetarian myself and I thought of some funny headcanons for a Leona x vegetarian reader relationship.

Most of them have some dumb side comments from my point of view, as someone who is a vegetarian, but I hope you like my silly crack pairing hcs (and it does get fluffy at the end).

Characters: Leona Kingscholar

Pairings: Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Gender/Pronouns: Gender Neutral

When you both first meet and he calls you “herbivore”, you just stare at him. You don’t know if you should comment that you really are a vegetarian or just let it slide. He might feel a little guilty later about it, but probably not too bothered if you never correct him about it.

The moment you tell him you’re actually vegetarian, he’d give a narrowed eye look to see if you were kidding. The moment he realizes you are indeed not joking, he’d probably ask why you would deny yourself meat when it is literally the best thing in the world and it’s weird. Also he’d be a little disgusted by the food you eat since he hates his veggies so much (maybe you could influence him to eat them a little more with the help of Ruggie kekeke)

If you did tell him it was for either ethical reasons or even religious reasons, he wouldn’t really comment and just shrug. None of it was any of his business anyways so it’s not a big deal. But he wouldn’t be the type to judge either.

Imagine trying to feed him, holding up a fork with some cooked green beans. He would be giving the biggest disgusted face and looking at you as if you were crazy. He’d probably smack the utensil out of his face, much to your sadness. Maybe if you give him big enough puppy eyes, he’ll have ONE bite. ONLY ONE.

While you both chill out on in the court yard, Leona would casually ask, “Hey, are you hungry?” If you reply, “Yeah, I guess I could go for a snack”, he’d give you a smug smile and say “Well there’s some grass right there, herbivore.” Then you will proceed to playfully smack him while he laughs loudly.

He’d comment one day that he made you food for lunch, much to your happiness and suspicion. Leona… making food?? Doing something domestic???? Are you sure it wasn’t Ruggie? You would open the lunch box to see it filled with tree leaves and you would hear him doubling over laughing on the ground. (Throw the box at him, I won’t judge)

He’d constantly be doing small harmless pranks here and there. Like for Valentines Day, giving you flowers and if you mention there are no chocolate he comments that you are supposed to eat the flowers too (go ahead and kick his shin, he deserves it. Chocolate doesn’t even have meat and if you’re not vegan it shouldn’t matter, so rude lol)

He might make those dumb jokes like “Ah, since you’re not eating the cow, I guess I can eat your portion for you, heh” and you’d give him a deadpan look and he’d realize it probably wasn’t that funny.

He’d even offer you a hamburger once or twice just to be snide and then be like “Oh, I guess the herbivore can’t eat this~” (just slap it to the floor and watch him cry at the wasted food)

If you were enjoying watching an animal like a deer roam around, he might say “Oh, those taste pretty good, ya know? They aren’t too gamey” and you would just stare at him with a horrified face. Like… I’m enjoying myself watching this cute creature and you have the audacity to comment to me that this thing taste good?!

Granted if you tell him some jokes are not funny, he’d feel guilty and stop. (Personally me I’ve heard enough of them that sometimes they bother me since they’re a tad insensitive. Like… don’t hate on my diet because I decided to follow something I’m passionate about. But some people just don’t know that, so communication is the key)

He wouldn’t make you change your diet but he also isn’t going to change his diet for you either. So as long as you’re okay with that, you both should be all snazzy.

He might even give you an endearing nickname like bunny or another plant eating animal you might like. (Call him kitten back in a private setting 😂 he’d get upset but I mean it is his s/o so maybe he’ll give you a pass and think it’s cute)

Despite all his teasing, he’d respect your choices and decisions and even try things for you here and there. He’d also consider going places with you having the meal plan already accounted for your diet. So like if you both go to a movie and then eat dinner, he’d make sure if he was making the plans to go to a place with vegetarian options. He likes the determination and passion you have that then shapes how you live your life. It’s something he would feel a tinge of envy even and maybe even get some motivation to try things.

He also wouldn’t allow anyone else to make fun of you for your diet either. The moment a dumb freshie points it out and tries to make a shifty joke, their blood would run cold seeing Leona’s glare.

Let’s be glad his vice housewarden is Ruggie too. He can whip any kind of dish up for you and actually have it taste good when visiting Savanaclaw. (Some people don’t understand that we don’t just eat salads 🙃 i don’t even like salads that much….) I mean he even tries to get Leona to eat his vegetables on a daily basis by cutting them up so small that he can’t see them (he’s probably be thankful if you could get him to eat more veggies too).

Endnote: I might make another post of this one day but I had to get this out of my brain rot head

[theramseyloft]

7/8/21 Loft Notes

JFC...

Some one DMed me on FB today, casually asking how to save their child's cockatiel whose cage mate just died of psittacosis.

Psittacosis is a zoonotic Chlamydia variant...

Both an emergency vet and a human doctor need to be involved!

Not the pigeon lady you know through Facebook.

They just know me as the person who knows stuff about animals.

Get the body to a lab!!

Get the live bird to the vet.

Get the human in contact with the bird who died of a known zoonoses to the Dr!!

Waiting for Tandy and Acer to come down for photos.

Got Acer.

Just waiting for Tandy.

Being a squeaker playground in the meantime.

They've forgiven me for worming them last night.

Oh!

Dolly is playing with my skirt!

So is Bell!

That will bring them up to Vibe class, if it becomes a pattern.

Bridget and Archie are foraging together.

I'm going to miss Slick.

Mipha is 9 weeks old today, firmly in the Curious class.

Ah!

The peep of Suki's I was worried about is half full today.

Ho-lee gawd, Bijoux is gonna be stunning!

Y'all have seen how shiny black Calypso is.

She looks matte next to Bijoux.

Girl has some of that greenfire shine.

Dolly tried to get into my lap!!!

But Bunny told her to fuck off.

Dolly is now on my foot.

Got spooked off by Pippen.

Immediately returned.

Acer was practice flirting with his Dad.

At the moment, he presents largely hennish behaviors.

Entices Pippin to feed and then tread him like a hen.

He is considering getting in my lap, but not sure.

Bell is on my foot where Dolly was.

Calypso is loafed on my knee.

Bell climbed all the way onto my knee!

And Acer stepped up onto my foot!

Bravest babies!

Dolly hopped up onto my knee!

Just got the call from the post office!

Gonna... Gonna have to continue in graphic.

Brightheart is alive.

They just got very scalped.

Continued under the cut:

Here is the face of a cock bird, who has been a cock bird.

Brightheart is at the vet as we speak.

The bad news: that red thing is supposed to attach that half of the base of her tongue to her skull.

The good news:

She could drink despite it having been severed by her boxmate

The only reason Cody's body didn't look like this when he was tragically killed in shipping is that he was bigger than Cloud, and Cloud could not just overpower him.

Patron: "Jfc. Seems like one more argument for not shipping two birds in the same box."

At least not an adult cock with anything other than an adult hen without a divider.

In both of these cases, the cocks were mellow in the loft.

So the gentleness of cocks can't be trusted as a measure of their safety to box mates they are intended to be shipped with.

Patron: "Can you put dividers in the box?"

They don't come with them, but a piece of cardboard cut to fit diagonally would have allowed Cody and Cloud to travel safely.

Hindsight being 2020.

A bonded pair should be fine.

The issue is with two unbonded cocks or an adult cock and a smaller, younger bird.

Patron: "that's some deep damage, you can see the several layers of skin down to bone..."

"as terrifying as the extensive damage itself is that it likely took a long time of battling to get to that level since pigeons aren't particularly primed to deal such injuries quickly"

Patron: "She can move her head okay?"

She can.

Full range of motion on everything vital.

Bad news is it's infected.

We're going to try antibiotics and pain killers.  But if she goes downhill, we're going to immediately euthanize so she doesn't suffer.

She was just so happy to be here when I set her in the hospital cage with water.

If I didn't think it there was a chance she would recover the way Cara did, we would have euthanized already.

Back from the vet and pharmacy.

Meloxicam for pain.

Sulfatrim pediatric suspension internally.

0.1ml 2x daily.

Patron: "How is she? She's incredible for surviving that"

1% Silver Sulfadiazine cream externally.

She acts like nothing happened.

Preening.

Drank immediately.

Pecking food.

Patron: "I’m so glad the baby is doing ok,,, I m already upset about what happened, but if they didn’t make it I would’ve been heartbroken"

I feel you.

This is how Cody died, and I was very not ok when that happened.

Dr. Mayer and I figure that if she's gonna crash, she'll do it tomorrow. But I'm hopeful.

Patron: "I’ve never seen a pigeon that old get so beat up by another bird. Thinking about it now, it makes sense,, but I had assumed baby was big enough and radish was calm enough there wouldn’t be issues"

Yeah, my thought process with Cody and Cloud was they're related, friends, and about the same size. Should be fine, especially since they go to sleep in the dark.

Patron: "I had no idea anyone else had had it go that badly,,, I probably would’ve asked questions about a divider or something,, with the birds I got recently, there was an adult cock and a younger one that was still peeping that weren’t related shipped together,, I figured it’d work out the same way that did"

Yeah.  I've gotten groups of both sexes and ages too where everyone was fine.

Patron: "I guess it’s good that I know now. I’ll figure out how to make a divider for boxes if I ever ship adults that aren’t paired or adults and babies in the future"

Patron: "I had to wait extra long for a pair recently as the breeder will not send a pair that could be near driving stage, as they say that is dangerous as well."

We spent $78.41 at South Pointe Animal Hospital on an Exotic Comprehensive Exam ($56.00), Meloxicam ($20.75), and Tax ($1.66)

and $25.90 at Hephzibah Pharmacy for 30 days of Sulfatrim Pediatric Suspension ($9.95) and 1% Silver Sulfadiazine cream ($15.95)

Bringing our PayPal Balance to $565.78

[radio-charlie]

Have to take it easier this morning, esp since i got crisis hotline shift from 8 am until noon anyway, so i have time to tell u guys how things went for the kampung aka village that really needed help, and Walaa’s food project

The kampung:

Things are now going awesomely. Colleague brought them food and drinking water 3 days ago, yesterday a friend bought them baby formula, diapers and sanitary pads with money they raised thru FB and drove the stuff over, and Parti Sosialis Malaysia sent a team who brought stoves, masks, LPG (gas cylinders for cooking), clothes, food... u name it. What the DAP team aka Ong Kian Ming’s team brought - I dont know yet, I haven’t been able to contact him yet and probably won’t be to for sometime. Some of my friends have collected household items and have arranged for delivery today. PSM is going to bring sanitary pads, carpets and more cooking stuff over this afternoon as well.

This community really lost everything and they’re part of a demographic many Malaysians are prejudiced against, so frankly, even if they get “surplus” I’m glad. Not like they will be getting that much help from federal govt in the long run...................

Walaa’s food project:

Walaa is a Palestinian home caterer here who has offered to cook 200 sponsored meals (nasi arab) for flood survivors. She just needed someone to coordinate, organise and fundraise for her so I was like ok sure. After approaching Parti Sosialis Malaysia for help identifying communities in need + arranging delivery transportation, and working out logistics w Walaa thru two translators, and then fundraising on socmed/in private group conversations, we met the RM2000 sponsorship target yesterday evening. Especial shoutouts to the angel who stepped in at the eleventh hour and donated a humongous sum to us (you quite literally saved 200 hungry ppl from huge disappointment lol), the three Arabic<->English translators who generously volunteered their hard work all day for free, and Arveent of PSM, who helped us arrange so much all the way from Penang on top of his grueling office job.

So yea now we’re just hoping Walaa and family can get the ingredients and prepare the meals in time coz the 200 packs of nasi arab are due... tomorrow 11.30 am LOL. but they’ve done like 400 meals in two days before so hey you know what, if anybody can pull it off, it’s them.

Ok that’s about it I think. We’re not in the clear yet but at least good progress has been made and everything is moving in the right direction. My most heartfelt thanks to everybody who offered moral support and shared the posts I made about these things even though some of you are many miles away and don’t even know who I am.

[dappersheep]

Food Fantasy: An Analysis on what killed a Golden Goose (2/3)

Welcome back. Before we get started, disclaimers again! I do not own the game or its characters, nor do I claim to know the history and future of the game. What I am entitled to are the thoughts and opinions written within this post. You may or may not agree with the points spoken of here. This post also remains untagged from the main foofan tag. Only my followers will see this.

We are now on the second part, so let's go forward under the cut!

Elex

And here we have our beloved global publisher that most of seem to have Stockholm Syndrome for. Don't lie, at least half of us are still playing this damned game due to sunken cost fallacy, sunken time fallacy and the cute/hot jpegs.

In 2018, everything started out fine. Sure, maybe we had some translation mishaps here and there -coughwe'llgettothatwreckagelatercough- but overall, Elex was running the game fairly well. Rewards were on time, we had active social media and support, and a discord was set up!

Hint: Please note I use quite a bit of sarcasm in most everything I say.

And then somewhere along that road, things got derailed. And I mean it like, we're in the midst of a trainwreck in slow motion and we've only cleared the initial collision and still hurtling forward or backward into a steel wreckage ticking inferno.

Problems started cropping up as early as late 2018, just a few months after the game was launched in July.

⦁ Art contest mishaps. You know when you hold an art contest on Facebook out of all places with its shitty tagging system, you're bound to have entries lost to the void, people forced to register an FB account just to participate (seriously, who even has an FB account that isn't just there to appease family members?) and having to wrestle with figuring out how FB's tagging system works. Add to that the panel of judges happen to be Elex staff who don't have a good eye for good artwork (we actually had a kiddy figure drawing win over a well drawn one during the last contest!) and that they ALSO weren't very good at organizing such contests on FB... well, we had several grievances over that.

⦁ Region blocked FB announcements. Strangely enough, I stopped getting announcements around Father's Day of 2019 while everyone else outside of SEA kept getting updates. Turns out that someone on Elex's staff really didn't like SEA players or was just really bad at fixing the settings for the group and never bothered to revert it back. It didn't matter in the long run though, because...

⦁ Abandoned social media platforms. FooFan Twitter, FooFan Facebook... they all floated slowly into the void and was never heard from again. And this was before the 2020 pandemic.

⦁ Remember what I said about Discord? Yeah, apparently, they opened one up a little too early and the staff in charge of it knew zero about how to setup and mod a discord community, and didn't even have the manpower needed to mod the influx of members that came in! Suffice to say, they had to get help from top players and mods from the FB groups to come in and sort things out because someone kept pinging @ everyone every few seconds other than the usual chaos that comes from a server with no filters and people trying to turn the discord into Global Chat 2.0, minus Russian hours.

⦁ Also in line with the point about abandoned social media platforms, they've also mostly abandoned the discord too and only pop in once in a while to check the bug reports or lost accounts. You have a slightly better chance of response with the in-game support. Only slightly. And there's a running joke with several variations on the main discord that the Owner account of the discord server was manned by an intern-kun who never bothered to pass it on to the next unfortunate soul left to maintain this game.

⦁ Favoritism. Funtoy is also guilty of this but they don't publish the game for Global. If you're a top spender the likes of maxing out your cash rebates within the three months or so and you kept spending even beyond that, Elex could possibly invite you to a funky little club where your voice is more important than say... 99% of the playerbase. On top of that, if you keep spending, you could technically also ask for stuff like getting this frame over that frame, or well.... delay certain features from coming to Global for over a year. Now you can simp AND be heard! (Note: In 2021, it's possible that that club may be dead too, as all things shall be)

⦁ SJW Friendly. I don't know if Funtoy themselves have anything to also do with this particular decision... but it's saying something that after a certain little tiddy tantrum from the community side, Elex decided not to announce anything about a certain event's fate and when asked by it by other parties (not me) they either lie through their teeth, or beat around the bush with a non-answer.

⦁ Partial translations, mistranslations. Now, I understand that a lot of Chinese grammar and semantics are confusing to translate properly into several other languages, but you'd think Elex would have given their translators more context to the character or the mechanic to avoid such mistranslations that later set off gender debates or worded the skill/artifact description a little clearer. That is... unless Elex really is hands-off trying to get to know this IP from the start and only gave it the most bare minimum of English where they can cut costs for it, so people can understand it 'well enough' to throw money at an obviously not beta-read quality game.

⦁ No translations. Yes we do have certain parts of the game that are in Chinese since forever since xx patch. Some characters' voiceline texts are still in chinese, especially during the Pledge scenes. More recent artifacts are also in chinese with no announced translation in sight. And don't get me started on the Food Soul bios, or lack thereof.

⦁ Delayed events. Prime example? We had weeks of minor events/no events and still Elex managed to eff everything up for our second Anniversary in July 2020. We ended up getting the Croissant event in late August with barely any apologies and compensation for the delay... and this likely would have never arrived as 'early' as it did if people hadn't been railing about where our Anniversary event was. As it stands, we are several minor events behind CN, at least a year and a half's worth behind. I know Global had requested heavily for more spaced out events (to save resources, not that it actually worked with all the nerfed rewards we get) compared to CN but this is extremely ridiculous.

⦁ Delayed permanent features. Hm... Guild Wars, Sky Tower, Bar, that Wuchang Fish Showdown... several Quality of Life updates.... that new permanent pool update... Food Souls still missing their JP voice packs... Food Soul Bios... *slowly ticking off more than I have fingers and toes*

⦁ Customer Support is whack. You'd be lucky if you got someone who understood your problem/inquiry right off the bat AND did something about it efficiently. You'd be luckier if they answered you honestly if you were inquiring about event updates or other buggy features or reporting hackers.

⦁ The Great Turkey and Apple Incident of 2020. Well, if you were around for that little SNAFU during the Turkey re-run event, you'd know a percentage of people suddenly got logged out of their accounts and had a baller of a time trying to get their accounts back. You were especially unfortunate if you were playing on an iOS account because even if you did bind it (like a responsible player should be doing), you probably still wouldn't get it back in time to rank properly during Turkey. Some Android players also experienced this, but it wasn't as bad as what the iOS players experienced. And then there was the compensation mishap for that too.

⦁ Hacker-chan and not-so-uwu Hacker-teme. Hacker-chan is a meme. Hacker-chan was a harmless player who regularly topped in Top Showdown every week for a time to send a message to Elex just how easy it is to hack the game in certain rankings and invited Elex to ban them every time, just to test how competent Elex is. In the end, Elex has proven to be incompetent and also glaringly stupid about how their published game works. Hacker-teme is a collective of individuals over time who have cheated the game during important ranking events or in somewhat important permanent battles. If you tried to report a Hacker-teme with evidence to prove it -and trust me, people repeatedly have-, Elex would tell you that they're not cheating and/or lie through their teeth that they're 'investigating the case' and then not do anything about it and let them keep their event ranking and thus get the rewards while someone who actually worked hard/whaled hard to get the spot gets denied. In one case, they believe that if an account has rebate points and the player level is at least around level 80, then the hacker-teme is obviously playing the game fairly. Never mind that their units happened to have low to no artifact nodes opened, and not high in ascension.

And that is the end of the Elex saga. I'm aware there's likely more things about Elex that I've missed, but feel free to add on to this analysis post with your own thoughts.

The last part of this trilogy is probably what many of us are waiting for, for obvious reasons.

[spiritualgateway]

The Next Wave

written by Steven Black:

We seem to be experiencing a boom of old conspiracy theories. Sometimes woven into a new coat, but at the core they are the same old black and white stories. Is it also true that all the conjecture, relativization, fake news and various conspiracy theories that are currently surfacing annoy the hell out of you? I have to be very careful about the sarcastic part of myself and therefore I keep myself from commenting. Not always, but mostly.

Whenever I open my FB Stream lately, I notice a real war being waged by the self-proclaimed awakened against the alleged sleeping sheep. One „have to know“ after the other is posted and „THE Truth About“ is announced – daily. I know this all too well.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Yes, I went through a phase myself where I believed a lot of bullshit or at least thought it was possible. It started in the late 90’s and ended in 2012, and during that time I probably inhaled every existing conspiracy theory and read all the authors who spread it with a fervor of conviction. Starting with David Icke, Jan van Helsing, Robin de Ruiter and countless others, up to Alex Jones. Hell, I myself have contributed to the spread of such stories. The subjects they dealt with back then were not really different from what they are today.  

Me and many other people, we thought we were „awakened“ then, because we believed we could understand the world more and better, like everyone else. Critical comments were countered with „inform yourself properly“ and immediately some links of „alternative points of view“ were thrown behind, which confirmed our own statement. And one could be sure that other participants who took the same bubble would shout down the critic as „mainstream sleep sheep“. No matter what argument came up – it did not reach anyone. In this phase one is not accessible to criticism, one fends it off. But if the criticism is so valid that it cannot be negated, one still had the recourse to some whataboutism.

It was a time when it was all about „the rise“ and all the political or economic daily news was seen as „there is light coming into the darkness“. We knew that the „end of the matrix“ was near and that a worldwide recalibration of consciousness was coming. We thought of ourselves as light warriors, critics of the system, rebels for the good and enlighteners. Fervently inspired by the conviction that we had all taken the „red pill“ and would now be the only ones to see clearly, we wanted to wake up and enlighten „the sleeping sheep“. In doing so, we constantly reminded them that it was absolutely (!) necessary to do research, think for oneself and question everything! Only WE knew, all others were of course stupid, brainwashed or sleeping. We were the judges, jurors and executioners of the worldly realities – self-proclaimed world policemen and smartass activists. We alone knew how the rabbit had to hop and how it „should be right“.

Pffff. When I look back on it now, I can laugh about it heartily. God, what a wonderful mindfuck.  

Yes, if we had done it like that.. If we had heeded this „winged advice“ that we had thrown at everyone, we would have taken it to heart ourselves. If we had questioned the sources we referred to and believed. Instead, our own thinking, research and questioning was limited to almost everything that came from alternative media and supported our views. Official facts, whether political, economic or otherwise, were „mainstream“ and thus fundamentally untrustworthy. It was all just propaganda … (yes no, that’s clear).

This made us susceptible to believe people and media that had either a political or other agenda. Starting with racist Jew haters, religiously dressed up ideologues, political muddle-heads, esoteric concepts without any grounding, up to „doomsday fanatics“.

But we had heard a call from the universe that the time had come for an expansion of consciousness. It felt like a kind of magical awakening. And I, as well as everyone else in that time who was like that, we were not the first. There have been recurring, rather small movements since the 1950s. But there was a really big, concentrated shift of consciousness in 1986, at the time of the so-called „Harmonic Convergence“. One can certainly call this the first great wave of lightworkers and truth seekers that the world has perceived.      

They did not fare much better either. These people, too, had to rummage through various horror scenarios, actual and imagined injustices, as well as their own overflowing imagination. But the basic themes were the same as they still are today. They are power topics (power and powerlessness), money topics, resistance to living, dying and all kinds of heavy, undigested emotional burdens. At that time, all of this was going on a little more quietly, at least in the eyes of the public. These topics were only discussed in small forums on the early Internet.

And today?

Today, the „social media“ are full of them and various shit storms are spilling over into the media mainstream.

Today the exact same process is taking place, in a new wave of people who have come in the beginning of their own awakening process. Awakened can not be spoken of, it is a slow awakening and it usually takes years.

One „wakes up“ from years of unconscious dwelling within one’s own personality structure, which has usually become quite rigid. One gradually enters into a new process of self-discovery, where many things are simply thrown over, which were normal and acceptable until then. The sense behind this is a broadening of perspective and a restructuring of mental expression.

Yeah, right. They got a call from the universe.

And at first you are thrown into confusion and disorientation. You will also have the feeling of stumbling around in a seemingly endless labyrinth. Individually varying degrees of identity loss can occur, which additionally creates fear. Many things seem to make no sense anymore, you part with friends, views and previously held beliefs, while at the same time you have the feeling that you can no longer find a secure hold anywhere. A well known, often observable reaction to this is a devaluation of the human being, the body, the mind or the human identity itself. In the course of this process one stumbles from one conspiracy theory to the next, constantly stepping on a bullshit cookie and sometimes not knowing whether one is male or female.

Can you prevent this? No idea. Most probably not.

That doesn’t mean that everyone who gets into this process is clinging to conspiracy theories and thinking they are THE thing or the only and pure truth. But a lot of people do just that. In a time of great personal uncertainty, the one-dimensional black and white images of conspiracy theories seem to simulate an unpleasant but seemingly stable reality.

Basically, an essential scenario is happening here – your consciousness is being twisted through the wringer and a kind of battle is taking place inside you. A battle between your old consciousness and the new, unknown. The old consciousness knows only defense and projection, but the new one wants to reflect and express itself mainly through self-reflection.

This inner fight has nothing to do with any Rockefellers, Rothschilds, Bill Gates, vaccinations, cash bans, paedophile satanists, mind control or whatever. In reality, „the universe“ is fucking your old consciousness to break you open and dissolve old encrusted structures. And the first, basic reaction is mostly projection and defense.

Hiking through your own darkness

There is a spiritual metaphor that says: „The dark night of the soul. This term goes back to the Spanish Carmelite and mystic John of the Cross. It is a poem written in the 15th century – in prison. For John of the Cross it was about the mystical union of the soul with God. Nowadays this metaphor is used to describe the difficult period of a spiritual development process, where the human personality has to struggle with disorientation, depression and confusion. Its purpose is actually to achieve a continuous, increasing and lasting reconnection with one’s own soul consciousness. This is a time when many things that once seemed normal and safe for the human personality simply seem to break away. Where instead depressive states are experienced, where crises, insecurity and loss of orientation prevail.

I actually believe that we are all in some kind of global dark night – the entire human species, the entire human family. And, of course, that means a process that will last for several years and probably decades. We are going through personal and global, very individual crises and we are coming into contact with our own darkness. With many things that we have been carrying for a long time, but which we are very often simply not really aware of. And a whole lot of situations and emotions are being washed up inside of us, so that we have the opportunity to check if it still fits for us. Yes, in the end it is years of trials …  

It takes a while to understand that expanding consciousness has little to do with any external enemies, but rather with what is going on inside and how to deal with it. Nevertheless, it is apparently unavoidable that you first shoot yourself on everything you find in the world of Scheixxe and what you judge to be „that shouldn’t be like that“. And so one wades for a while through all kinds of dirt, horror ideas, laments about injustice and deals with horror scenarios. Starting with worldwide mind control, up to some omnipotent enemies of mankind. As an antipole you read channelings or inform yourself about natural food.

Basically, projections are a defense mechanism of the psyche. The term projection describes the transfer and shifting of one or more inner psychological conflicts to other persons, groups of people, living beings or various objects of the outside world.

Relatively harmless projections are when we ascribe characteristics, deficiencies or problems to other people, which we ourselves carry openly or hidden within ourselves. A far more serious form of transference is when I believe that the whole world is conspiring against me (or humanity, the whole earth, health, freedom, morality, faith, etc.).

Whatever the case may be, when we project, we thus transfer our own issues, fears or worries, to other people, organizations or groups of people, so that we do not have to feel it with ourselves. And then link these fears to certain events or circumstances that we do not like, which is then considered „proof“. The point is – what we project and transfer to other people are either unrecognized, personal qualities or unprocessed, emotional problems from our past, which we transfer to the present. And often, both variants intermingle. Projection allows us to transfer self-experienced situations or predominant emotional states, in our own consciousness, that are perceived as unbearable, to ward off these emotions from ourselves by transferring them to x-any situation, people and organizations.

And this, whether we want it or not, is unavoidable in a real wake-up process.

We push away what is inside of us and project it onto politicians, Illuminati, cabal, deep state mind control or whatever. To explain to us why we have certain feelings or thoughts. In this way we can continue to fool ourselves that everything is okay with US – only with THOSE out there, there is something wrong with them.

Talmud: „We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are“.

You can of course now despise all this fear porn of various conspiracy theories and call it bullshit – which of course is a good 99% (in my opinion) of all conspiracy theories. But in the end, they seem to fulfill a need that is not quite visible on the surface.

When you get into such a wake-up process – process, mind you – your entire identity structure is „attacked“. All the things and experiences that we hid from ourselves and that we repressed will be flushed up from our inner self over time and our protective and defensive shields will become porous. Most of the time, we have buried them so deeply that we can no longer feel or perceive many things. Deep, formative experiences that reach far back into childhood. All our deep fears, the inner insecurity, the doubts or our real self-esteem will gradually creep to the surface and say hello. Everything that has been quietly there all along will suddenly start screaming very loudly inside us.

Conspiracy theories are theories, not facts. They are extremely simplified black-and-white images and, moreover, highly exaggerated descriptions of a seemingly alternative reality. Mixed and connected with actual, clearly criticizable, political, social or economic processes. Whereby, however, the really criticizable things are completely lost, because the context with which they are interpreted is completely far-fetched.

BUT …

Now, if a Xavier Naidoo in a video cries because allegedly thousands of children are being freed from an underground torture prison where they were abused as human lab rats to obtain an alleged super drug called Adrenochrome and you react emotionally to it, it is because this extremely shocking horror show is arguing with certain experiences of your own past. Maybe from a past life, maybe in this life – does not matter in the end.

But you can suddenly feel THAT. It breaks down your protective shields and your emotional numbness. You can feel this nameless horror inside you, what it must mean to be tortured, abused and trapped. Powerless, to be exposed innocently and helplessly to something. But at the moment you can’t realize that this might have something to do with yourself. And you do not want to feel all the unpleasant things that have to do with you personally. You do not want to feel your personal powerlessness, helplessness or fears. You want to get rid of that.

I’m not saying that conspiracy theories are good. But everyone has to go through his own processes, even if that means having to go through a nonsense of denial of reality. If you bought into it, then you have to go through it. Okay, whatever makes you descend into your own darkness is good.

Of course, there is no such underground bunker and no tortured children to produce adrenochromes. And of course, „St. Donald Trump“ has not freed anyone. This Q Anon story is completely free of meaning and serves nothing else but to secure Donald Trump’s re-election and keep his conservative voters happy. Apart from the fact that there is child trafficking, that there is organized sexual and also ritual abuse of children, there is no truth in the story itself.

These and other conspiracy theories, however, bring you in touch with your own feelings and emotions that are buried deep inside you. The stronger you react to it, the more outraged and angry your reaction is, the more emotional charge you have built up.

The dark and heavy energy, such formatted information, docks fundamentally to the inner parts of the person that are in pain, traumatized or disoriented. This inner pain is often so well hidden and suppressed, so great and unspeakable – because never processed or admitted by us that only a supermonstrous, absolutely malignant source can explain it, who must be behind it. This kind of milkmaid’s calculation, of an omnipotent conspiracy feeds and triggers the fragmented inner child within us, which then becomes angry and projects its hatred, its rage and despair onto the world.

What do you think it does to you when you wallow in assertions and views that the eternal sacrificial existence enshrines? What does it do to you when you think the world is in the iron grip of a global conspiracy, a supposed elite, with the aim of undermining moral principles and ultimately reducing humanity? If you believe that some malevolent aliens have allied themselves with various leaders or secret organizations to rule the earth? And you yourself are completely powerless in this?

Does it make life much more fun? Does it create meaning, love or harmony for yourself and more connection to the world? Does it produce improvements in your personal life? You will have to admit that this is not the case. On the contrary – you clearly feel worse. If you roll around in dirt, you don’t get cleaner, but naturally dirtier.

If you go through this phase, the day will come when you are „done with the world“. Where you feel so weakened, depressed and trapped in your own darkness that you will experience a kind of inner breakdown. You will approach a state where you give up. Which, as weird as this may sound, is a good thing. When your inner resistance and your defense strategies no longer work and collapse, there is only one way out – to work through your emotional burdens. In reality, this is not a breakdown, even if it feels that way – it is a breakthrough.

This is the moment when the real challenge begins and you are so „backed up“ that you are ready to face your own personal issues. And in the end it’s all about that and nothing else. It is about you, not about politics, economics, Illuminati, cabal, Donald Trump, Rothschilds, Soros, Bill Gates or Rockefeller. It is about you personally, in this process. How you feel with yourself, your body and your life.

The Rothschilds are not responsible for how you feel or whether you have too little money in your pocket. Donald Trump is not coming to save you, Germany or the world. God or the universe will not transport you to a light-filled 5 D world where you don’t have to feel all the pain anymore. George Soros is not to blame if you do not take responsibility for yourself. The pharmaceutical industry is not to blame if you are sick. The slaughterhouses are not to blame if you are meat. Reptilian shape-shifters have nothing to do with it if you don’t feel comfortable with yourself or your body. Illuminati or Kabale are not responsible if your relationship breaks down or you are no longer satisfied with it. No one is responsible for whether you can accept yourself, with all your apparent faults or inadequacies. No one, except ourselves …

All these are deeply personal issues and conflicts that should be looked at. No one will come to save you miraculously. You are the one you are waiting for. You are the one who can „save“ yourself.

It is about making new friends with yourself and life. It is about self-acceptance and self-acceptance, exactly as you are. And you will only achieve this if you really deal deeply with yourself. Everything else is just an attempt to avoid yourself. To avoid the pain, loneliness, loss, anger and many other conditions that have accumulated in you for years. And it takes a lot of courage to venture into a therapeutic reappraisal process and to face your personal stories mercilessly.

This is a very critical time when you are extremely vulnerable and unfortunately some people do not manage to take the necessary step and get stuck in the old stories. They get stuck in conspiracy theories and cling to them desperately. And bullet through one wave of outrage into the next. If you don’t do transformation work and don’t integrate all the unpleasant emotions into yourself, you can get stuck in it for a very long time.

I recommend to everyone who wants to hear it, an examination of the Inner Person Model. And I strongly recommend feeling work. Get professional help if you are in this process. You will find it very difficult to get through on your own and if so, you will have to spend much more time with it. So take care of yourself and your consciousness …

Man is basically not a prisoner of fate, Illuminati, Freemasons, aliens, etc., but of his own consciousness, which he does not care about. When you deal with your inner conflicts, your emotional nebulas and diffuse mental states, you regain clarity – above all clarity about yourself. If you are clear with yourself again, many strange convictions you had about x – any external processes will also be cleared. You will then realize that you don’t need conspiracy theories to criticize various processes or states in our society. There are enough factual, fact-based and also technically competent arguments for this.  

For those of us who have been through it for a long time, for those who find it a bit annoying to see all this old stuff reappearing so massively in the social media. But we should remember that we once experienced a similar phase and had to go through it. No, of course these people are not stupid, even if a part of me has the perception that the concentrated stupidity seems to take over the power at the moment. They are merely in a process of transition and one can only wish them good luck and good luck with it. They are not the first and will not be the last. In fact, I believe that this will intensify.

I have a part of me that thinks it could save people from their own experience if they only had enough information. This part of me thinks he would abandon his tribe if he didn’t say anything about it. And so I sometimes make comments to some people when I feel it would make sense to correct the statement. Most of the time it doesn’t take 2 minutes of googling to find out the facts. Meanwhile I make such comments only once, sometimes even twice. But if I constantly get answers to them, which my 20 years younger self has known for a long time, because he himself answered criticism like this, then I stop.

Because the adult in me knows that it makes no further sense and the person has to go through this experience until the end. Once you are in it, there is no other way out than to go all the way through it. Then I just keep my mouth shut and sometimes I unfriend or put people on „sleep“. Especially those who share particularly annoying „alternative theories“. This is pure self-protection. I just try to keep some distance to the experiences of others that don’t fit (anymore) to mine.

It took me a lot of persuasion to make this part of me understand that it cannot protect or prevent anyone from their personal experience. And to feel all the sadness and regret, at the thought that in this process some will „fall under the table“ and may not be able to rise from there. This part of my personality has now understood that his tribe has to do its own personal, very individual work to come to terms with the situation and that this is entirely his responsibility. Or he will get stuck in his experience.

I am also aware that the term conspiracy theorist is considered offensive by many who are in it. Well, they should thank those people who, by mixing up thoroughly criticizable topics with phobias, paranoia, hysteria and pure fantasy, led to a huge accumulation of absurd theories that no clear-thinking person can take seriously. And no, the term conspiracist was not invented by the CIA to silence critics of the Kennedy assassination. It goes back to the Austrian-British philosopher Karl Popper, who coined the term conspiracy theory as early as 1948.

From where I stand today, conspiracy theories make no sense at all. They are packed with emotional dramas and personal imbalances, cause doubt, create fear and feed the hysterical inner child. Never have conspiracy theories led to anything constructive. They simply invite you to let your hatred, resistance, lack of empathy and inner drama queen out and let the proverbial sow run free. To understand this, just look through the commentary columns under some VT Post.

And it is not at all about the fact that there have been or are actual conspiracies throughout human history. But all the things that are manufactured and suspected about it today, so bizarre and excessive, can’t be put on any cow skin anymore. Conspiracies are by definition top secret – they are so secret that any fool with computer access can find them neatly listed on the Internet. Michael from Recklinghausen knows them all, maybe the CIA should hire him …

Makes totally sense, right?

But okay, it’s just basic personal issues that are transported in this way. Apparently, for some of us it is necessary to exaggerate things so much that we are capable of an emotional reaction. Because no matter which horror story is given for the best – it is always MY personal fear that is then triggered. My anxiety, my paranoia, my hysteria – all kinds of emotional instability that exists within myself is reflected.    

And when you are in there, you believe that it is all real. That some reptiles rule the world, that George Soros is using refugees to destroy Christianity, that Angela Merkel, Barack Obama and white-vultures are still reptiles in human form, that the Corona crisis is a hoax, that it’s the pretext for establishing a dictatorship, that all the famous Hollywood actors or politicians are pedophiles and that Donald Trump is liberating Germany. That the Corona crisis would be the final wake-up call for the rise to 5D or would be used by the elite to initiate a system crash and abolish cash or put all of humanity under mind control … etc., etc., etc.

It’s like a huge buffet where you can eat according to your personal taste. You can buy into any of these narratives – but a real danger is that they will swallow and eat you.

Ironically, it doesn’t really matter if things actually have any truth to them. The only criterion is whether or not we believe the narrated things. And what we believe is in turn related to a certain kind of identity. If there is already a deep conviction in our identity structure that we are victims, helplessly exposed to things and life, then it is not very difficult to convince ourselves of a world in which ALL people are victims of a huge conspiracy.

We all know, the world can sometimes be a terrible, unfeeling and cold place. But it can also be a beautiful, uplifting place, full of beautiful people and experiences. Everything this world holds in store is always an expression of people, of dynamics and personal, national and global processes and the consequences of these. If you look at the world in general with a sober view, you can see what a long way we as humanity still have to go.

It is a war that is raging inside us and that reflects its expression on the outside. The war between all the unredeemed and burdensome emotional content, the mental beliefs built around it and the painful attempts to control it and keep it away from us – but which we always lose because the elaborate stories we tell ourselves about it to rationalize and explain the pain away collapse sooner or later and the pain comes back to us with all its force. We can’t run away from it, because we can’t run away from ourselves.

None of us can „save“ the world, but we can „save“ ourselves and do our inner processing work. Imagine that everyone would do this? In no time we would see a completely different world. But since we refuse most of it and think that we ourselves do not need it – it will probably take some time. Nevertheless, this is the path we must take.

Until next time same station …

DISCLAIMER: Nothing you read here is THE truth. It is my truth, my perception and how I see things – now, in this moment.

THE INFORMATION SPACE

[badfey]

is there anything u wish u had known pre-top surgery? I’m trying to schedule mine next yr and I’m worried I rushed into picking my surgeon even tho I looked at a Lot. I’ve got a list of questions to ask but curious if there’s anything you can think of! Thanks, if u get a chance to reply 🥺

firstly congrats and good luck with your top surgery, i hope the wait goes quickly!!

There were a lot of things i wasn’t expecting about top surgery - not necessarily that i wish i’d known in advance, just that i didn’t anticipate. I wrote a document of them not long after surgery which ill post soon and link back to here :) right now ill go through the main stuff i wish i had known, and any questions i had (under a cut because it got long)

Stuff I Wish I’d Known

Some of this depends on how your surgeon does things. I had 6 days before my post-op appointment w chest reveal. 

That first week is tough. Ymmv, but for me it was really hard. I knew that post-op depression was a thing, i didn’t realise what it would feel like. For me it was a lot of being tired and not being able to sleep because of not being able to get comfortable (having to sleep elevated for a few days & pain), so getting more tired and bored but too fatigued to do anything in that classic frustrating cycle. Once i slept decently for the first time i felt human again (nytol is a lifesaver). It’s also tough bc ur sweaty n uncomfortable and u haven’t showered or taken off the post-op binder for a week, and with the dressings and swelling it doesn’t feel like its really happened yet? After chest reveal thats a lot easier

Sometimes moving around you’ll feel something like pull or pop and you get so so paranoid about pulling a stitch i seriously thought id pulled a stitch but its usually like the dressings adhesion or something, you don’t need to freak out. My best friend here was this uk trans fb group because i could search and find years of posts with ppl having the same problems, or ask and ppl would give advice and calm me down, so it’s good to join a community like that ready for if you inevitably get stressed about something (also good for post-op boredom)

You cant use your arms to move. Sounds obvious but like i never realised how much i reflexively rely on using arms to move sitting positions on a bed, and how you need to pay attention to override that impulse. 

Peeing after anesthetic is weirdly hard. It really helps if you practise consciously releasing the specific muscles to pee beforehand 

I was so hungry. I got fed sure (great food too) but i wish i had taken snacks. 

Questions to ask

Im gonna list some stuff that you may already know/have on your list but it might help fill any gaps :) 

When are your post-ops? Are they included in the surgery price? Mine were at 6 days (chest reveal) and 8 weeks (normally 6 weeks but my surgeon was on holiday lol) and both included in the price of surgery (which is standard for here i think). Its good to have rough timeframes in advance so you can plan around it.

Ask about revisions - are they included in the price, what is the timeframe you can get revisions for, how you would start the revision process if you need it? Hopefully you won’t need it but its important to know just in case & so you don’t need to worry about it. I think my surgeon got a bit touchy when I brought up revisions but i was just clear that if I’m getting this surgery and paying a lot of money for it i need to know this stuff in advance which as a professional he should be fine with.

Can you have a say in scar shape and/or nipple size? Usually you can, and this is often at the pre-op when they draw all over your chest before surgery. Don’t feel like you can't weigh in - this is your chest. Also even at consultation they might be able to give you an idea of what your scar/s will look like. 

If you’re getting nipple grafts, ask about their graft success rate!! I was super stressed about my nipples falling off, but my surgeon said that even though stats say about 10% of nipple grafts r unsuccessful, in practise he sees a much smaller percentage than that, and even ones that do reject often grow back (lmk if u wanna know more what i mean) or can just be easily touched up with tattooing. Also if theres anything they recommend for graft success.

Does your surgeon recommend using arnica? Arnica is a homeopathic remedy for bruising, swelling, and wound healing. There’s differing views on whether it actually works, but in my case i took arnica tablets 1 week before and 2 weeks post-op and i think it really helped. They also tasted nice. Some people use arnica gel to aid healing once you can start massaging. 

Where will you be for overnight recovery? Will you be on a ward or in a room? Do you have access to a TV? Do you have access to a plug socket or charging point? Do you get wifi? Chances are you’ll be bored at some point over the time you’re in there, especially if you struggle sleeping. It’s good to know whats available in advance so you can come with things to keep you entertained. 

Does your surgeon use drains? You probably already know/have an idea of this bc its something a lot of ppl consider when choosing surgeons, buts its good to know if you don’t. Also, it can change - I chose my surgeon partially because he only uses overnight drains so you don’t have to deal with them in recovery. When i was there i found out he has stopped using drains altogether for smaller guys so i never actually had them (pleasant surprise). 

Does your surgeon want you to wear a post-op binder? Do they supply the binder? Post-op binders r a good idea they stop swelling soo much, so even if your surgeon doesn’t recommend it i’d definitely ask if it’d be safe for you to wear one. You can't wear regular binders. If you’re sourcing your own, again trans groups r great bc they can give local recs and lots of people sell/pass on their old ones. I am happy to give anyone recs, but they’re all uk based. 

How will you communicate with nurses post-op? Most people don’t live too near their top surgeon, so you’ll probably check-up remotely. I just sent nurses emails of my nips and incisions and anything i was worried about the healing of and they’d let me know if it looked okay. 

If you have any conditions/disabilities/illnesses, ask if they’ve ever operated on someone with them/similar before. I have fibro + hypermobility and tbh it was reassuring to hear him talk about experiences other patients with chronic pain had had before and how they coped.

Okay sorry that was really long, but its pretty much everything i could think of question wise! I hope it helps! Let me know if there’s any other questions you have at all :)

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

The conclusion to the VA/BL reread with Silver Shadows and Ruby Circle (here’s the post on FH, here’s the post on the VA closers SB and LS)

I think I forgot to emphasize this in the last post: it is bullshit that Adrian still had the Alchemist-paid-for apartment after the events of “TFH” and only becomes more unbelievable that Trey has it still in “SS”... I do not get it

Like with SB and LS, I would make a lot of plot changes in the adaptation.

Silver Shadows

Fun fact: her golden lily on this book cover actually flashes a little gold in the right lighting, and I love that

This one, especially the majority of Sydney’s stuff in the first half or so of the book, was much better than I remembered.

Adrian’s stuff had me far less forgiving. I realize he’s struggling with a fictionalized elevated form of bipolar disorder and he developed addictions in trying to self-medicate over most of his adolescence/early adulthood so far, but as far as his actions go... the part where he blackouts for something like three weeks while in Sydney’s chapters she’s so certain he’s going to rescue her... it really frustrates me. Especially because Richelle writes him as self-flagellating over it, but Sydney immediately reassures him “oh, no, I just got the gas turned off, you couldn’t have really done anything...” as if those three or so days weren’t a big deal with the way the time crunch worked out later... it’s one of those heavy-handed things where I don’t feel like Richelle ever actually makes Adrian own up to his errors in the same way the rest of the main characters have to. Including: Wesley Drozdov and his motley crew show up again, and Adrian plays big hero and outs their dabbling attempt on Sydney, and then with Keith later on thinks to himself “at least I’d taken no for an answer from girls” as if he hadn’t insistently pursued both Rose and Sydney (including the scene at Alicia’s Victorian inn in IS) and been revealed to have dabbled at least once. Like, good that he’s trying to make up for past behavior, but again and again it comes off to me as glib or insincere (in the way it’s written- that he’s some model that is exempt from causing harm). This especially pisses me off in the way he treats his mom for sticking in a loveless marriage to his dad (did Adrian forget about his mom’s affair with Ambrose btw?) for financial security, and even with the hypocrisy being pointed out to him and him begrudgingly admitting it in his mind, or he drags Nina to Sonya’s to try and get her compensated for her work and she’s all googly eyes at him, but his acts of chivalry feel empty. And this extends to Marcus, too, to a lesser extent. Look, I love Carly (all the Sage sisters mean the world to me) and I’m glad that she became an advocate for fellow survivors and I get what Richelle was trying to do in empowering survivors with Carly’s character, but Marcus’ star-struck admiration of her (being made speechless by her strength) felt weird and make me uncomfortable.

On to Sydney’s stuff, holy hell her side of the story is dark. And this conversion therapy nonsense in it is part of why I desperately want canon queer leads in the adaptation (preferably Sydney herself, which would yes mean Adrian and probably Rose... that’s my prerogative). Is that potentially triggering? YES. But Richelle took that step when she laid it on so thick with the allegory. In the meantime, I love the supporting characters that Richelle drew up to be in the center with Sydney. Emma, Duncan, and the rest (the fellow detainees- not Sheridan... she can burn) and I want more of them (seriously, Richelle made some great underexplored groups with the Unpromised, the Keepers, the Merry Men, and then these additional Rebelchemists). There is a weird mention of Sydney having arranged some supply closets on one of the floors, despite whatever scene she did that in seemingly having been cut (there was also a line Rose ascribed to Victor at the end of Last Sacrifice about sending Jill away, so it’s not unheard of). When I first read the book (with a long break before), the degree to which Sydney was using magic in there felt illogical, but rereading directly from the other books, it is more justifiable. I think the Detainment, and Sydney’s struggles there, is some of the best writing Richelle managed in the books, and I don’t have any changes to that part.

But the escape... is actively worse than I remember it. There are glimmers of some great stuff in there- I mentioned in the last post how much I love when Sydney wakes up Hopper and sobs over him, and that still is powerful. But omfg Sydney (and Adrian) hold up the stupid stick so many times in these chapters. To be clear, first-off: Adrian should have gotten blood before they ever went into the desert. In the worst case, he and Eddie (the night before the infiltration) should have gone off to the side and done a feeding (doesn’t have to be Eddie, since I imagine he actually has a bad reaction to them since FB, but it does have to be someone willing). Eddie would have enough time to recover, especially with adequate food. Setting that aside, the actual events of the escape work for me. So I guess it’s more the after. Sydney and Adrian should have driven straight to Las Vegas (if they wanted to stop in the other town and change clothes and switch cars that’s fine with me- I even like the senior citizen tour they were on; p.s. we never learn if the Ivashkinator was shipped back to Palm Springs or anything, which is very surprising to me). Their decision to stay in a hotel overnight, even as much as Sydney did deserve that kind of relaxation, was stupid beyond belief. I would have preferred they got to Vegas, were spotted by Alchemists but made it to the Witching Hour without issue, and then Adrian got them a room, and that was the point where Sydney relaxed and slept. Consolidate some of that. Let Sydney have her luxury bath, and a haircut from Adrian, and other stuff there. Let her mention to him that the first photo she saw of him was taken near there, and hey, did he know Rose had bought a car in Russia that Sydney loved. And when Adrian goes down to make some money to further their escape, that’s when he realizes they’re being watched- there are too many yellow and orange auras. Let them have a less exorbitant wedding than in the book- no ridiculous mermaid dress that Sydney can’t expect to move in and that is ridiculously expensive (she can still have a beautiful stunning white dress). Let her start with the blue sneakers. Let Adrian find a place to get the ring made, if that’s necessary (or just use the dang cufflinks as are for the time being and pin them to the fancy attire). And Jill sends the chopper directly to the Firenze for an “Italian” wedding. They can still have the showdown with Sheridan on the roof- just simplify everything.

And then when they get to Court- let Sydney do more of the talking. Let her (righteously) call out the conditions in the reconditioning- the torture because she showed empathy to Renee who couldn’t even eat on her own, the torture they inflicted on Emma to break her- she didn’t betray her own kind, the Alchemists are repeatedly betraying their own kind, pushing them into the darkness of an empty hole. Oh, and this necklace around her neck, that Sheridan took for her own before Sydney reclaimed it, the morning glories were painted by the man she loves. And she rejects the Alcehmists having any authority on her. She’s a witch of the Stelle coven; she’s Sydney Sage Ivaskhov damnit. And when her dad tells her that if she doesn’t come with them, these will be the last words she ever gets to say to him? She gets to ask him if he knew what happened to Carly, if he let it happen under his own roof because he wanted a son like Keith more than the daughters he was blessed with. I want Sydney arguing her case, having her real communion. I said the same for Rose and Spirit Bound, and Sydney deserves the same here.

p.s. there are a lot of structural parallels between this book and BP/early SB- Sydney’s reeducation being like Rose’s time in Novosibirsk, the Tasarov escape from SB (which Eddie directly mentions) immediately followed up with a Vegas trip

Ruby Circle

Dang it. Look, I no longer hate the idea of Sydney and Adrian raising a kid. Their ending in RC was a lot better built-up (and a lot less bitter for Sydney) than I thought the first time. But the road to get there...

I hate the Jill being kidnapped by Alicia part (and I don’t buy the Warriors working with her). Honestly, just let them deal with Alicia during the events of Fiery Heart (when next to nothing else is going on). Like, Adrian and Sydney come off really badly in my head for “causing” her kidnapping because of a personal vendetta against them, when they came there to protect her in the first place (I realize the actual fault was with Alicia, but the feeling stands). Also the pointless scavenger hunt leading them from Pennsylvania (so conveniently, even though Alicia would have had to go there to set her traps after abducting Jill in the first place?) a month after the fact to whatever castle (then to Michigan) then to Palm Springs and the infiltrating the Warriors mission... it’s all too much (also I refuse to believe Sydney cast those stinging demons... that’s so dangerous I can’t even). Given the introduction of the Stelle in FH, and the unnecessary Malachi stuff, it works better to do that all then anyways. (I still want Jackie involved somehow of course) Instead of sidelining Angeline at Amberwood, she should get to be involved in the hunt for Jill (same as Eddie was for Sydney).

In other parts... Wesley Drozdov was never a good character. I really didn’t need even a mention of him in this book. I also... don’t buy how stigmatized Adrian was for marrying Sydney. I can see it being a scandal, or a laughingstock, the source of snarky asides and derision, but Richelle never built it in VA or the earlier BL books to being as heinous as she then tried to make it (so that Adrian could feel suffocated by Court, just like Sydney). I would have been much more interested in trying to see Sydney blend in, and take a stand in the Moroi world (and seeing her try to ally with nonroyal Moroi, but that also still not going super smoothly because they don’t like being on the same level as a human), and maybe her trying out her magic with the Moroi fighters that Mia and Christian had formed (that beautiful, blessed little moment), and then if it integrating there didn’t work admitting that it just... wasn’t going to. Rather than not even trying.

I understand that Richelle was building up with Adrian’s fears of completely losing it with Nina, but she just got screwed over in both of these books. (We’re acknowledging that it was wrong of her to kiss him in SS when he wasn’t even conscious, and moving on). And then Olive got screwed. And Neil got screwed. I said before that I don’t mind Sydney and Adrian raising a kid. But I mind a whole heck of a lot that Richelle killed (essentially) Nina and Olive both (in bullshit, tragic ways) and then wrote Neil off so that Sydney and Adrian would have to raise a baby. Let Sydney be pregnant. Let her be recovering from the most traumatic event of her life, she and Adrian forewent protection on their hectic honeymoon/escape, she’s going to be a mom to a Dhamphir and wow that’s going to be weird for her... and meanwhile this allows her to get through to Olive. To promise Olive and Neil that Sonya and everyone else will not use their baby as a test tube. Nina can still go up to the brink (maybe she passes it and the spirit trio of Lissa, Sonya, and Adrian have to heal her), there can still be a Strigoi attack at the Refuge in northern Michigan, but ffs cut the crap treatment of those three to pass on a readymade kid to Sydrian. It is a trope that I loathe. I also dislike the “ohmigod” fangirl characterization of Mallory, and while the Rand stuff was better than I remembered (that is to say, he is terrible and everyone acknowledges that and no one makes light of it the way I misremembered), I could do without it (especially since I’d prefer that if they keep Dimitri and Adrian cousins, they addres it much earlier).

Honestly, I would do the following:

the start of the season for RC (which doesn’t match its name??) has Sydney and Adrian locked down at Court and they can’t help like they want to, so they try to adapt and do what they can there, including Adrian trying to get Nina to calm down; their friends from Palm Springs and Marcus team up altogether and get an infiltration squad with the Warriors of Light; Eddie gets to participate; they rescue Jill, and get some of the data on the Alchemist/ Warrior collaboration

the Moroi Court finally gets into action on the age and family laws in earnest; meanwhile, Sydney is helping carve out a niche for the rebel Alchemists to work with the Moroi, especially for Strigoi hunting groups like what Mia and Christian wanted to organize; Jill and Sydney are helping each other emotionally recover from their respective hostage ordeals; Sydney realizes she’s pregnant, which helps Adrian realize in a dream with Olive that she’s pregnant, and finally sees her location marker

it’s “rescuing” Olive time; Neil gets to go too- with his presence, things don’t all go to shit; there is a Strigoi attack in retaliation for the new hunting groups, but heroes persevere and protect the commune; the data on the Alchemist/Warrior collaboration, and the Rebelchemists work with the Moroi, gives the perfect leverage now to get the Rebelchemists their freedom and establish Sydrian’s future together

SO, after rereading Bloodlines

I dislike Sydrian less than I did, though I still think Adrian could be vastly improved if adapted as a woman

the second half gave Eddie more to do, but still not enough emotional focus on him

man Amberwood and its supporting characters disappeared; I get that Adrian isn’t likely to settle in California long term, but can I please get more resolution to those characters, whether it comes from more focus in IS, or a graduation ceremony or something?

Abe also disappeared which is strange

man, Sydrian have a lot of daddy issues. because their dads are both abusive jerks. but why oh why did Jared end up collaborating with the Warriors for tattoos? was it because of anger over ‘losing’ Sydney or just greed? I’m glad that Zoe and Sydney at least started to heal things, and that Zoe is ok where she is

we still never got answers on who restored Lee... Clarence only showed up for deus ex machina money and shelter and I guess blood (did Marcus ever get to speak to him again?)

minor grievance: Richelle described the Warrior recruits as being almost evenly distributed between men and women, with a slide toward men, before two pages later saying there were 30 potential guys and 13 potential ladies, and remembering that, oh, yeah, the Warriors didn’t really use women on the front line; I don’t want any of that subplot adapted I just... editing?

#DoBetterByOliveAndNinaAndNeil2030 (who gets to name their kid Declan?), #LetSydneyUseHerBeautifulBrain

[bloomingtea]

Tine thinks he won the roommate lottery  — a college au ↓

Tine has been noticing it since he was like 16: his eyes sometimes linger a way too much on guys, he thinks it must be normal, you know, teen hormones and all that. He still dates girls

“Normal, my ass!” Fong says when Tine comments about it, and the very next moment he regrets and adds “that’s normal actually, maybe just means you are not only into girls.” And gives Tine things to think and overthink about

So maybe he’s bi?

People say that college is the best place to experiment and good thing he’s going soon, moving from his hometown to Bangkok

Bad thing he’s going to college soon because his parent tell him they don’t have money to rent another dorm room, but maybe they could afford an apartment for him and his older brother, Type, who’s already in Bangkok

Bad thing because Type is a clean freak where Tine is kind of your usual teen messy, plus has a tendency to break things, which trigger Type’s tendency to get annoyed over messes

Also bad thing because he’s pretty sure that Type isn’t very fond of queer people

So he talks about it with his one-braincell-group of friends, and Ohm suggests him to look on FB. “There’s tons of posts of people looking for roommates”

So he connects with a dude. A political science student. He has a room free because his friend ditched him last minute and the only requirement is to pay his share before the first week

He seems quite a good dude, almost laid-back, so Tine goes to check the apartment. It’s small but comfortable, near to the campus and to bar&clubs area. So he starts to ask:

“what about the food?”  “we can pay 50/50 and if there’s something you don’t want me to touch, put a sticker on it or something”

“what about study?” “huh….i don’t study, but text me if you need space or quiet, I’ll leave or something”

“what about the bathroom?” “yeah, we’ll need to set some rules. I don’t shave a lot, but I hate to see hairs in the floor”

“and what about….queer people?” the dude shrugs. “love is love, dude. Wait, don’t tell me you’re homoph-bic, because that I won’t stand” “nonono” “great. Also, if you’re gonna bring someone, a heads up will be nice.”

This is too good, Tine thinks. Then the guy says: “oh, also, my friends tend to come here often, hope you don’t mind?” And Tine says no, because he likes to be around people and also it’s his right 

And that’s how Tine and Man become roommates

It goes fine, really. Because Man is friendly and likes to repair things in order to not study, so he doesn’t mind when Tine breaks those things. And takes him to different places to grab food and booze, because Man loves to drink, but never goes really overboard because he’s used to have to drive that old motorbike of his and so he holds himself back unconsciously even if he’s not driving  tonight (except he also never offers a ride bc “sorry Tine, that place is reserved for the future loml”)

And Man even passes the not-really-well-disguised living conditions inspection of Type

(because he’s mostly quiet, for once) 

and when Type leaves, Man says “Tine, I think I like your brother” and, huh, Tine wishes him good luck with that and promises him to ask Type later what does he think about Man-like romantically (Tine doesn’t do it)

Also!!!!! Man is totally fine with Tine listening to Scrubb all day long,  he even invites him to go watch his friend’s band live tonight at the bar, because they’ll cover Scrubb songs!!!

(they don’t, Man is a liar)

But!!, huh, wait, hold on????

Tine had been thinking all his overthinking was in vain because apparently there wasn’t any guy that picked his attention in the month he’s been in college, and maybe it was hormones and curiosity and he only likes girls. But the guitarist.

Handsome, beautiful, freaking stunning. Michelangelo worthy

Tine can’t stop looking at him, the way he plays the guitar?? Give him an award already

Too bad guitarist doesn’t introduce himself at the end of their gig. Now Tine will never know how to refer to his first guy crush

(not that he’ll ever do something like get closer to the guy (that is already circled by lots of girls) and ask him. or his number. Tine is new to this and, you know, kind of shy.)

But Man is not—shy, of course. So he rises his hand and screams a “Wat!!” and you know what? Stunning guitarist dude looks over to them. And comes closer to their table. And smirks

The name’s Sarawat —no nickname

And upfront he’s not that perfect. He has some scars above his eyebrow and upper lip, but that makes him even more charming. Also it attracts the attention to his lips—the fullest lips Tine has ever seen, the fullest lips of Bangkok and the whole Thailand

Tine doesn’t even want to think what it must feel to be kissed by those lips

(freaking awesome, for sure)

And maybe Tine is dreaming or overthinking again, but Sarawat is being flirty???

And Man jokes: “Dude, right in front of my salad?” but he only has a glass of beer and it’s kind of awkward but not really, because they laugh it off and Man then changes the subject asking about band practices, and Tine is a bit confused

They all get drunk and Sarawat drives them home. Because of course the handsome dude has a nice car. And honestly is kind of embarrassing to know he’s wealthy and still invite him to their small apartment

But he’s used to it, apparently. He’s Man’s friend and has been there before

And then he starts to be there. A LOT.

Tine thought that when Man said his friends go often, he meant only Boss. But not. Now is Boss and Sarawat. Mostly Sarawat, with his acoustic guitar.

“The band’s taking a break from practice,” he explains and sits next to Tine, a grin dancing in his lips

Those damn lips

And okay, Tine is not dreaming (but still overthinking), Sarawat is being flirty. He even learnt Scrubb songs to entertain Tine. “I like it when you sing along. Our voices go well together.”

You don’t know how much that means to Tine. Sing Scrubb song together??? That’s the equivalent to be in the same page, to share emotions, to oh mygod

Then Type announces he’ll be passing over and Tine panics

Yeah, another gay panic, thanks Man, but not because of Sarawat. (he’s implied tho)

And when Type comes and squints at them, Sarawat is total and completely unfazed. “Hey. I’m a friend of Man.”

And Type nods back, suspicious. “Hey, Type, why are you here??” Tine asks. “I just came to bring back something,” Type says and from his backpack he takes out a helmet

Man’s old motorbike spare helmet

And what.

(apparently Man roped Type into a date or two. Apparently Man and Type are dating) (when did that happen???)

(right, while Sarawat was at their apartment, monopolizing Tine’s whole attention)

(he still is, damn those full lips)

So, at the end, is not like Type is homoph-bic, he’s just overprotective of Tine (because his brother is precious and no one is good enough for him, not even handsome stunning dudes, yes, talking about you Sarawat) and he has very strong opinions about how queer people are sometimes represented in media, especially on those series where looks like consent is non-existent

Tine finally kisses Sarawat at the end of a band practice or a gig where he plays no Scrubb songs, because that’s not the style of the band, but Tine likes it nevertheless and even learn a few songs (the ones Man said were Sarawat’s favourites) to sing along

“Normal, my ass!” Fong says after Phuak asked “all that in the span of two months??” when Tine tells them everything. And well, yeah, Normal, Fong’s ass.

Tine still is very happy, especially when Man texts him that he has the apartment for himself the whole weekend because he’ll be staying at Type’s, probably banging. And that’s more information that Tine will ever want, but as he replies an emoji and texts to Sarawat, he thinks: best roommate ever. 

 i don’t have time to write it, so i’ll it here ;;

[nifflersgelt]

ok i know this discourse is years old and that it was never even really discourse so much as me ranting at everyone, but

yknow how people are like “the goldsteins aren’t portrayed as jewish bc there’s no religion in hp” i’m not going to unpack all of that bc i already have, but what i will say is, there is such a thing as nonreligious jewishness! jews in 1920s nyc would have spoken yiddish. they would have had jewish friends. they would have lived in jewish neighborhoods and eaten jewish foods. picture old lower east side, pickle stands, etc. 

also, while i don’t know enough about the history of judaica (jewish ritual objects) in america to say, it seems reasonable to me that they would have some? as orphans they would have inherited their parents’ stuff, so if their parents were even given, say, a kiddush cup as a wedding gift, the girls would have it.

i’m not even gonna get into the whole thing with the dinner scene being on chanukah bc i truly don’t believe jkr can keep track of dates well enough for that even to have been an oversight.

“but they’re witches so it’s totally different.” like, maybe! clearly the goldsteins are more integrated into non-jewish society than other jews were at the time -- they have jobs at macusa rather than at a jewish business, for instance. but liiiiike tbh, that’s more of a factor of the author not even having thought about this question, yknow? 

and what does magic use look like in within an ethnic neighborhood? do we assume that every magic user from any minority ethnic background leaves their neighborhood and culture and community to assimilate into white goyish wizarding culture? like maybe we do assume that! but that’s problematic on its own, you?

the goldsteins are most likely immigrants or the kids of immigrants. possible that they’re from an older group of german jews who got to the US in the 1860s, but there was such a huge Jewish immigration wave at the turn of the century that it’s way more likely they’re part of that. to take a brief detour into OP’s family history, here’s a real quick breakdown of how my folks on my dad’s side closest in age to the Goldsteins were vibing in 1926 (based on 1920 and 1930 census data, immigration records, birth records, family memory, etc) Grandpa Samuel (40), having immigrated alone as a young adult in 1905, was living in Brooklyn with Grandma Irene (36), having immigrated with her parents as a toddler in 1891. They had two kids by then, both born in America (in 1915 and 1920).

Grandpa Bill (28), having immigrated as young child with his mom and siblings in 1901, was living in Philadelphia with Grandma Sadie (28), who was born in America in 1898 but whose parents immigrated in 1887. They had one kid by then (born in 1923).

obviously the plural of anecdote is not data, but this is a pretty normal. sooooo they goldstein girls (born 1901 and unclear but maybe 1903ish?) could reasonably have been born in either america in the old country. their parents, though, probably were immigrants.

whiiiiiiich leads us to: what does it mean to be a jewish magic user in a small town in eastern europe? how does the assumption that you’ll assimilate into the non-jewish norm hold up? maybe your town is half-jewish, in which case there is really is no non-jewish norm. but let’s say it’s mostly, idk, ukrainian. or polish. do you assimilate into that, when your community has its own set of customs and vibes? why would you? and even if you do... when you get to america, you still would be bringing some other cultural situation with you -- maybe polish or ukrainian or russian. do we assume that polish wizards who come to america immediately assimilate too? if so, why? like, i’m not saying they wouldn’t, but what’s the mechanism by which this happens? forced isolation from their communities because of Rappoport’s Law? that feels solid (if traumatic - let’s explore that!) - but that assumes that there aren’t enough people from your country to have a little mini-community of polish wizards or jewish wizards or whatever.  side note, it’s fascinating how jacob actually bucks the trend of everyone-assimilates-into-british-or-american-whiteness with his pazckis! this could lend evidence to the wizards-assimilate-and-no-majs don’t theory, or it could just be a coincidence. i suspect the latter.

anyway. what’s my point? i forgot already. but i think it’s worth noting that there isn’t a pan-wizarding culture because there do actually seem to be differences between american and british wizards. buuuuut it’s sure ~fascinating~ that those cultures are allowed not to assimilate into each other, but cultures like jewish are. which... is really reading too much into it. the truth is that jkr just didn’t bother or care about this. or she thinks judaism is a “faith” and doesn’t know jewishness is a culture. oh, right, that was the point of this post. 

anyway, a post-script. there was an article before the first fb movie came out about the fb team going to the tenement museum in NY. having been, i know one of the apartments they show is that of a jewish family, and the docents talk about it. actually, in the cover pic *of that article* there’s a set of shabbos candlesticks on the mantel. but then in the goldstein dinner scene there’s... candlesticks... but they’re mismatched, not next to each, and being used as dinner lighting. oh and it’s the middle of the week. clearly not shabbos candles. so like. they looked at them, heard the docents talking about jewishness, and just decided “meh let’s edit that out but candles are a nice aesthetic.” like, they did make a choice on purpose to de-jewish-ify these characters. and like, it’s not like i expect better. but i do have the right to critique the impulse to assimilate everybody into what’s comfortable for you.

[struwwelzeter]

About the possibility of vaccination passes at the door to cultural events

This is completely off topic to what I usually post here but I wrote it on fb and what the hell, I guess. I’m too mad to shut up.

First of all:

Being Anti Vaccination in general means you are uninformed and missguided and should educate yourself better.

That being said ...

The amount of perfectly sane, nice and conscious of human rights, people, especially in the gig/events economy, who suddenly think it’s completely ok to ask for vaccination passes and who say shit like “people who aren’t vaccinating shouldn’t be allowed in, I don’t give a shit” is staggering to me.

We get it. The prospect of having to rely on the willingness of idiots to be vaccinated for being able to work again is scary, and staggering. Still, it is not how this is gonna work. The problem isn’t that some people won’t be vaccinated. It shouldn’t be. The only indicator for events being possible should be the overall incident inside of the population. That’s it. Events can happen when incidence is so low, the risk of a big event becoming a superspreader that will overwhelm the health care system and lets alot of people die is basically non existent. Yes, that will depend on a lot of people being vaccinated. No, that does not give you the right to ask for personal health data at the door.

Trying to fast track the opening of events with vaccination passes will always include discrimination (more on that later) and that is why it’s not an option. If you think discrimination is ok in order for you to be able to work, I don’t know what to tell you. If you really think it’s better to descriminate against people who want to attend an event and making them responsible for your ability to work, rather than holding a system responsible that has downgraded culture to a profit orientated amusement park for decades, I really do not know what to tell you. I guess you can leave here, we won’t agree.

The events industry has spend an entire year not working - in order to protect the collective health of our society. It’s our duty as a society to protect them back and make sure they still have food and a roof over their head by the end of this. That ist the real problem. If we did that, we wouldn’t even have this discussion, you could stay home in peace and wait until we have herd immunity. It is very shitty that we, as a society, have failed you. However, just because you have been wronged, you don’t get to wrong people in return, especially because the overlap between the people that wronged you, and those you are now planning to wrong, will be relatively small. Again, if you don’t see how descrimnation against people that haven’t caused your predicament just elevate your situation is wrong, I do not know what to tell you.

Now. Here is why no access without vaccination passes will always open the door for descrimination:

1. For the forseeable future, not everybody will have acces to the vaccine. Depending on country, that will mean your great plan will automatically exclude people of a certain age, financial standing, profession or even location.

2. Some people aren’t recommended to get the vaccine by no fault of their own. This includes:

- Pregnant people (which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet)

- Children and youths under a certain age (which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet)

- Immunocompromised people for exemple through cancer treatments (who should be careful regardless but which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet).

- People with a history of analphylaxis (the allergic reactions to the proteins that serve as a carrier for the mRNA that have been observed in rare cases are mostly patients like this. Risk assessment is individual and down to several factors. This group in particular is interesting in this discussion because while some might be recommended to get the vaccine, they have a good reason to chose not to risk it.)

- People who are very prone to auto immune reactions. The stories you hear about the serious side effects of vaccination and that are used to scaremonger people away from vaccination mostly are stories about a triggered auto immune disease. auto immune things can be triggered by a big variety of things, and it is very rare that it does get triggered by a vaccination. However, in most cases of people actually being at risk for this, there are indicators, such as it running in the family or it already having been triggered by something else. Like with people with analphylaxis, the risk varies from patient to patient.

3. Phobias. This will be very few people but some people do have panic and fear issues surrounding needles tnat you can’t even imagine, you know. Mental Health factors are still health factors.

4. Bodily autonomy. Some people simply do not want to be vaccinated and that’s their right. Are their reasons probably missguided? Yeah. Are many of them stupid? Yup. Is it still the right of every person to decide what happens to their body without having to fear exile from social community? Yes. (This one is tricky because on the case of vaccination of course this only holds up when herd immunity is reached and the refusal to be vaccinated isn’t risking the health of others to an unreasonable degree. Still. People do have the right to not get vaccinated on personal grounds because it’s their body, and the information about that isn’t something anyone should have access to.)

Herd immunity does not mean that every person has to be vaccinated. It means that enough people are vaccinated to ensure that if a virus bounces around he will not find enough to cling to and can’t multiply. It means that the immunity of many will protect the few that aren’t able to get immunity. And that’s why herd immunity should be the indicator for the possibility of events, and not the status of personal health data.

Does that mean we are dependent on every person who can get vaccinated to have the sense to do so? Yes.

Is that scary as hell because people are stupid? Also yes.

Should we therefore descriminate against the herd members that can’t get it and pry into deeply personal reasons and health information for not getting vaccinated (such as being pregnant for exemple) instead of holding society as a whole responsible for the survival of cultural events? God, I hope not.

Please just ... don’t be like that. Be better.

Btw: I am 100% pro vaccination and can’t wait to get mine. Vaccination is sexy. Vaccination means we can all go back to concerts, and if we all do it, we can even go back to concerts while being ethical about it. Isn’t that nice.

[whencallstheheart]

Thank you all so much for the questions.  They were fun to answer.  There were some repeats so I skipped over them when they came up again.  If there’s more you’d like to know don’t hesitate to ask!  😀

It’s a little long so I’ll put it under the cut. 

I love a “ask me anything”!! what made you such a fan of the show that you started this blog??

I think I initially saw a tweet from John Stamos congratulating Lori on her new show and that was the first I had heard of it.  I think a couple episodes had already aired.  I hadn’t ever watched anything on Hallmark prior.  I'm a huge Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman fan (which was the first fandom blog I started) and when I watched the first episode it felt sort of reminiscent of that.  There wasn't really anything on Tumblr about it at that time so I started the blog and now here we are.

Are you a fan of historical dramas in general? If yes, have you seen Outlander?

I don't watch many historical dramas but, yes, I have seen Outlander. I'm behind but I do really enjoy that show and plan to catch up eventually.  Another one I liked a lot was Jamestown.  I also enjoy The Alienist.  And Dr. Quinn, of course.  

Where do you live (city) and what do you do to pay the bills?

I live outside Portland, Oregon and I work for a large bank in operations.  Currently working from home.

Were you ever a member of the crazy fanatical hearties group on FB?? Are they really that deluded about the show’s shortcomings?

I am a member of the Facebook group but don't participate or really look at anything but I like to be able to see if someone important posts something.  I just see whatever happens to end up on my feed when I'm scrolling.  Yes, but they're also not allowed to comment anything negative.  It's highly policed so fans can't really have discussions even if they wanted to.

What is your favourite food of all time? The food you would want as your last meal, the food that makes you glad to be alive.

These are hard questions.  Maybe a cheeseburger and fries.  I also really love Mexican food.  One of my favorite meals is something my mom makes which is porcupine meatballs.  It's basically a beef meatball with rice in it with a tomato soup sauce served over mashed potatoes.  Throw some peas on top and I'm a happy camper.

How do you stay so positive about the show when it disappoints you? Like the disaster of season 5!

There were some good things about season 5.  It's definitely just a mindset.  I was sick of people being so negative and dragging me down that hole with them.  I still enjoyed a lot of aspects about the show.  I still cared about the characters.  I wanted to focus on those good, positive things and be happy that we still had a show to watch.  And even now, I don't have many expectations.  I just want to watch and enjoy it and not pick everything apart to the point where I hate it.  It's not a perfect show but it's fun to watch and that's all that matters at the end of the day.  There’s plenty of other things in the world to be mad at and a Hallmark show doesn’t need to be one of them, you know?

What's your favorite pastime and favorite non-Hallmark show? Also, have a lovely day :)

I basically have no hobbies.  Tumblr is my second job.  I watch a lot of TV (too much these days) and I like listening to podcasts as well.  I play games on my phone.  That's honestly about it.  I'm super interesting, obviously.  My favorite show right now would have to be Yellowstone which just ended its third season.  I'm pretty obsessed.  Otherwise, The Killing is high up there.  ER.  Dr. Quinn.

If you could a character on WCTH to hang out with for a day, who would it be? If you could pick an actor on WCTH to hang with for a day, who would it be?

Rosemary/Pascale for sure.

What is your fav color? Music? Other TV shows? Books? What type of job do you have? What State or Country are you from?

Probably blue but it depends on what I'm picking the color for.  

I'm not huge into music or have anyone in particular I really love.  I've listened to The Chicks a lot lately.  I recently watched The Greatest Showman for the first time and promptly downloaded that soundtrack. I don't know.  I just listen to whatever suits my mood. If I'm listening to the radio, it's usually Top 40 stations or sometimes I'll throw a Russian pop station into the mix which is fun.

I watch a lot of shows.  I watch General Hospital and have for like 15 years at least.  Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, Roswell, all the Bachelor nation stuff including some foreign series, Love Island UK, a bunch of ghost hunting and adventure shows lately on the Travel Channel, random shows on Netflix, A Million Little Things, 911 and 911: Lone Star, Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, 90 Day Fiance and all its shows, The Rookie, Prodigal Son, New Amsterdam.  I could go on.

I don't read as much as I would like to.  I enjoy the Virgin River series by Robyn Carr a lot (also a Netflix show now but the books are much better).  I mostly just read the trashy free ebooks in the Apple bookstore.

Realistically, could this show run for as long as Heartland has?? Does it have that kind of staying power with the fandom and l do wonder - is it growing it’s audience in any way? Cos that would help it stick around for longer.

Of course.  I think it'll be around for a long time.  We're at 8 seasons and with the reset, we're basically starting over with Elizabeth which is really exciting.  The audience certainly isn't shrinking.  I think the ratings generally stay about the same but more and more people find the show on Netflix all the time.

This is a very girly question but whose wedding dress is closest to your style - Rosemary’s , Elizabeth’s or Clara’s?

Rosemary's was my favorite.

Do you have a favourite colour?? And a favourite brand of make up?

I only wear mascara now because of masks and I honestly might not go back to wearing makeup.  I don't have a brand in particular that is my go-to but I just stick with drugstore makeup.  It works good enough for me since I don’t really care or spend much time on that stuff.

hi! I have some questions for ya! How did you get into watching WCTH? Do you enjoy period dramas in general? If you do, would you recommend any? Is anyone in your family or friends fans of WCTH? Do you like to read? Those are kind of a lot but I’d love to hear from you! Really enjoy your blog and fellow WCTH fans! Thanks for all you do!

No one I know personally watches it.  Or at least I don't know if they do.

[orionnquartzwater]

In a local witches group on my personal FB page, an admin I look up to asked us what our current altars looked like at the moment to spark up a discussion. I had an offhand picture of recently showing and explaining my faith to a friend of mine, but as I began to reflect on the items, my reply grew longer and longer until Facebook just gave up on allowing me to post it. Still wanting to share, I figured I would host my answer here.

This is my current set-up. Please excuse some of the mess, I'm currently in the process of clearing out the old for the new calender year. I don't work at my altar very often at the moment as life has been a little hectic, but it's right above my fireplace in my living room! ♡

PHOTO DESCRIPTION WITH DETAILS AND PERSONAL HISTORIES BEHIND THE OBJECTS PICTURED: On white shelf above the fireplace in my living room is my altar, lit by a ceiling light that brings the eye to the center of the image where a wall-hanging of the elemental symbols I hand-crafted in branches and black twine covers a large portion of the white wall in the back. In the middle on the top of the hanging decor is a clear hand-crafted witch ball I made several years back when my coven was still meeting and I was teaching some of the history behind them and what they are today filled with many different herbs and a large cinnamon stick. Several natural pieces of twine hang from some of the twigs that make up the elemental symbols, used for tying and drying herb bunches above my altar, currently sitting empty. On both sides framing the mantle on the wall, there two metallic swirling candle holders, one of which has a recently gifted antique bell from my once-ignorant and oppressive grandmother about what my faith truly had meant to me on twine hanging from it. In the dead center of the altar, a large glass candle holder sits containing a layered orange and red candle, burned most of the way down with ash on the insise of the glass as it hasn't been in use for some time. Currently displayed on top of the candle is my own hand-crafted wand that sits perfectly balanced in my hand with the natural curve of the branch. It felt made for my hand as I whittled the top down and used copper and quartz to charge it, wrapping the handle and charging the energy forward with the small point I've had for years until I found why I had clung to it.

Two alabaster statuette busts of the Greek deities Artemis (to the left), and Apollo (to the right) also frame the large glass candleholder. The statues are of the deities who I worked faithfully worked with to recieve my service dog Andromeda, and thank constantly trying to honor, as everything in my life had said I couldn't receive her from time to money to circumstance to lack of outside help, even though everything else about it was said that it was truly meant for me, and I believe to this day it was due to them watching me working tirelessly to do everything on my end including my rituals and asking for their assistance that they granted me a medically healing (Apollo's side) & faithful canine (Artemis's side). I had the statues shipped to me from Greece, and the golden accents on the alabaster textiles and laurel on them are probably my favorite part of them. They're one of my most prized possessions. The two godly siblings face each other with their heads cast in different directions. Behind Artemis, slightly to her right is a black and white painting I did of the forested coast and night sky with a prominent moon bouncing off the waves and a comet in the stars above (Ironically, my dog Andromeda (Andi) was listed as Comit in the breeders list as well, something I hadn't even considered when painting and adding it to my altar). To Artemis' left is a small antler chew we took from my service dog when she was too big to use it safely any longer, as well as a small clay torso of the human form I crafted some time ago. In front of the mini painting is where I currently sit a chakra bracelet gifted to me years ago, and sitting in front of those not too far from the edge is an incense holder depicting a skeleton with roses around it as a memento mori, a circle of life as the ash falls and the incense is burned. To the left of that are some pieces of geodes and petrified woods I have that my grandmother also gifted me, two unused candles in front of those, and a petrified wood piece laying flat that holds two tiny pinecones connected by a stem and two coins for abundance beside a ceramic acorn bowl holding many gemstones collected through the years, including the labradorite my grandmother also gifted me when I was a small child and found myself connecting to the stone as I connected to the faith alone on my own. To the left of that is a tall decorative triple goddess wooden box box my dad's girlfriend bought for me, a small black and white moon phase & elemental symbol zentangle art piece sitting above it that I drew in pen in high school, and in front of them on the altar is an antique taxidermied dog-paw letter opener made of Mother of Pearl, dating the beloved Print's death as Sept 15th, 1867 that I use for directing energy, connecting to the love we hold for those in our lives, and also with connecting to the centuries past in my own hands.

To Apollo's right sits a massive pinecone, and behind him somewhat obscured is a small wax burner currently holding the remnants of the ritual work I had been using to call forth my service dog to me as a variety of herbs, green wax for abundance and coins. To the right of that are a variety of candles, currently perching a bird's nest that had fallen out of and was sitting abandoned from the tree in front of my apartments two years ago that would have been tossed by maintainence or mowed over but found a renewed life in my practice after it sat abandoned for some time. Beside that is a squared lantern of black metal framinh with frosted glass and metallic fir tree silhouettes. Also the right of that, leaning over the edge of the mantle from a small end table not pictured is a twig broom with the bristles up. (On the very edge of the mantle also sits a large bottle of hand-sanitizer constantly in use as I live with a hospital worker, and both cleanliness and healthcare are just as important in our faith, lest we forget to take care of ourselves with the modern knowledge passed down to us now, nor forget to do our part wherever we go.)

— I haven't had the mind to do much traditional work, even here, and this doesn't include the dresser I plan on doing a fuller altar for so I can have a place to be alone, in my space, and wholly enter the circle once more as I haven't been able to do that in a very, very long time, but this one houses most of my items of power, is displayed prominently, and is curated to allow me to remember to honor my faith more and never stop working on it, taking time to stand in front of it and reflect on me, my faith, where I came from and where I'm going as well as spending a moment with the deities I honor. After my birthday later this year growing up in a household of agnostics and the faith and discomfort of my oppressive grandparents, I'll actually have been in the faith for more than half my life as I was only 11 when I stumbled into it alone, celebrated my first Imbolc all by myself by making crafts out of ribbons and buying and lighting candles, meditating reading books. I ran around with my bell wand shaking it at nature to reawaken it for spring, and I knew I would always be in the faith, and want to raise a future family in it, and grow a community of like-minded folks. I'm still always learning, and it makes me equally immensely proud and insanely humbled when I can teach others what I've learned since the faith found me. I can actually remember crying to my grandma about whether or not magic(k) could truly exist in the world and she told me if I believed in it, it DID at that age, and the feelings of finding power in my faith after growing up so alone have been unlike any other. Finding other witches was one of the most impactful moments of my life, especially growing up in a heavily Christian town of just over 1,000. Nothing has made me ever feel more fulfilled than people who know me and know I have been in the faith since childhood coming up to me to timidly ask them to teach them some things and where they could start to learn more, asking questions and finding me with a million resources for them, only to come back at a later date and truly thank me for helping them find their path to deity, to nature, to being one with the energies around us and finding power in their experiences and newfound budding faith and community. I've since found a true passion for anthropology and folklore, and I never feel more whole than working with others who share that with me. I think that my coven was one of the best things I experienced in high school, a mix of young witches learning and finding our paths and bringing our passions to life with each other and what we knew over good food, good friends and good faith wasn't something I got to experience often until then.

I'm still hoping to one day build an establishment where witches and aspiring witches can come, talk, read, ask for recommendations, be taught by local witches, take community crafting classes with history lessons, and be able to continue to provide that feeling to other folks. One of the people I ended up mentoring after they were asking me questions and for book recommendations, for clarifications and good conversation, also reaffirmed my childhood last name of faith that came to me by expressing their gratitude of my mentorship referring to me as "a willow tree I was providing wisdom, knowledge and needed shade to the growing saplings around them," and I actually broke down crying as Willow was the last name I ended up with as child, and Willowtree was the last name I had settled on after my transition. I hate the feeling of buying myself mass-produced items used for making a quick buck off a community rather than fostering the Craft, and the power that's within our tools created by hand or when they're gifted by people who impacted us with the knowledge of what they mean and the things they hold are just so much different than not knowing the ethical conditions of who made the materials, or the companies behind them pandering for money, and it's a bit of a passion project as my physical health keeps me from being able to work much on my own. I often wish I could go back and tell a young me how much I would learn and do, how many amazing people I would meet, and communities I would find, even in the areas directly around me. I think I would have been amazed. After writing all of this, I looked back and realized that my current set-up is actually doing it's EXACT job right now. As I described the objects and what they meant to me when I got them, I got caught up in it the same way I do IRL when I pass by and take a moment to think about what my faith holds for me, where I'm coming from and where I really want to take things from here. I guess it's REALLY just that effective on me that even trying to answer a question about it off-hand in a post really ends up in me really taking a minute to address who I am and the power it all holds to me, especially standing where I stand today.

Blessed Be! I hope everyone has a wonderful week.

— 12.9.2020

[astralscrivener]

the bad kids, kristen applebees, johnny spells, galicaea, thitslespring tree

aaaa thank u for these !!

the bad kids: tell us about your closest friends!

i dunno how much detail to go into but i’ll do my best here and i’m just doin irls bc i have a lot of internet friends i consider close and like, i don’t wanna take all day lmao

beatrice has been my best friend since junior year of high school bc we bonded over a lot of fiction that we had a shared interest in + she like. gets my sense of humor, gets how my brain works, idk we just like. vibed really well?? i dunno like somethin. somethin clicked and now here we are, almost four years later, still being chaotic bitches, ilu bea i have more i could say but. yknow space n shit

wes was my roommate before we were best friends, i met them thru facebook actually lmao. they posted their “hi i’m looking for a roommate pls someone--” post in our university fb group and they listed a bunch of shows they were into and one of them was. v-slur. which i was like. obsessed with (i still.............kind of am but only fanon but that’s not important rn) so i messaged them REAL FUCKIN QUICK and we hit it off SUPER WELL and now look!!! here we are!!!! who else is going to get lost in the woods with me on the first seventy degree day we have??? who else is gonna keep the dorm constantly supplied w chocolate??????? who is going to be the pastel roommate to my emo???????? anyway i could keep going but they are wonderful i love them

nicole became my best friend via a scenario straight out of a fuckin. social media au. we had the same english class fall semester of freshman year but didn’t realize it for like. two fucking weeks. there was an event at the campus lgbt+ center that i didn’t go to, but wes did, and they came back and they were like “hey there’s this person who ids the exact same way u do!!!” which at the time was bi ace and i was like “oh shit???” so i got their snapchat and i made a fuckign. v-slur reference on my snap story. it was a stupid joke abt lance and they were like “OH?” and i was like “OH?” and then we started talking and one night we had some. bullshit reading assignment for class and were bitching about it and then were like “hey wait........wait we’re in the same fucking class--” and anyway ya now we just. torture each other w our writing. angst gang rise up

the other three i will refer to by initials 

nh is like. he intimidated me when i first met him bc he was like. one of those quiet kids??? but one of the really smart kids?????? and he was my DM before he was my friend bc he was getting a group together and sent cola to collect players and so i’m like??? who is this fuckin kid in his stupid green golf hat??? turns out he’s a very cool human to be around and we actually!! share some interests!!!! and his writing is fucking GOOD what the fuck. we finally convinced him to take an english minor. anyway he’s cool and he can do math i’d kill for his brain

bg is just. chaos incarnate when we play dnd but outside of dnd he’s actually really chill!!! and again, big brain!!!!!!!! i have so many smart friends what the fuck!! anyway we don’t hang out as often as we should but he is great

and finally ja. i’m still like, getting to know him bc he transferred campuses this past year (and now quarantine has separated all of us >:(((() but he’s pretty cool. he’s way taller than me so like. if anything were to happen, human shield. 

anyway ya i could keep going but i love my friends

kristen applebees: what would you be the patron saint of?

i would say writing but i feel like that’s getting a little too big for my britches....a lil presumptuous

johnny spells: what loot would you drop if you died?

probably a small moleskin journal with a pen stuck somewhere in it, some bracelets, bluetooth headphones (the kind that go around ur neck, i’m too broke for airpods and i can’t stand apple’s headphone designs anyway). rarer/bigger drops would be like. my jean jacket or my combat boots

galicaea: it’s the middle of the night, and you’re leaving home. where are you going?

if i was on campus, “home” means my dorm, and if it’s the middle of the night i’m probably going to grab food at the union or to dick around in someone’s dorm, or if it’s finals maybe hit up whichever dining hall is running on a late night schedule 

if i was at “home” like my hometown aka my parents’ house.......idfk there’s nothing to do here. probably taking my dog for a midnight pee

thistlespring tree: what does your ideal home look like?

my ideal home has like. a more modern design. it’s not a mansion but it’s not small and i live there with my closest friends and all of our pets and we have a pool in the backyard and a big patio and a nice shady tree and green grass and a garden and maybe a trellis arch that leads to the backyard n it’s just. it’s nice it’s big but it never feels like it’s too much, it’s cozy and it’s home

fantasy high asks!!