#like i know i just spent too many words criticizing it bu that's love baby

[naylar-draws]

She Giggled: Meta-textual Shit About That Time Merlin Flirted With an Underage Girl

So anyways, y’all know that scene? The one people really hate where Merlin flirts with Claire? When I first saw that scene, it made me really uncomfortable, and I had a hard time pinning down why. So I was thinking about that instead of sleeping and now I’m writing this instead of sleeping.

Disclaimer: This isn’t Merlin hate discourse or some shit. I know there’s been discourse about the hate train and this whole rant/analysis has nothing to do with it. I do my best to stay out of fandom discourse and I ain’t gonna ruin my streak because of a crusty old animated dude. If you’re looking for hate, it ain’t here. If you’re looking for analysis on a particular scene in the context of Trollhunters being a fictional text created by real people, then welcome friend. I also know this is an art blog, but I have other hobbies too dammit.

Anywho here’s my humble opinion/analysis on the scene and why it failed: (roughly 1300 word rant/analysis under the cut)

Objectively, it’s gross: an old man flirting with an underaged girl, referring to her as a “lovely creature”, touching her in a non-platonic way etc. these are behaviors that, in real life, shouldn’t be acceptable. These are behaviors that I can say from personal experience are not pleasant to be on the receiving end of. These are also behaviors that women experience regularly and are often told that they have to put up with. Stay with me I’m going more in depth.

So why is the scene within the show unbearable? I’d say because of the in-text reaction to it. (Now I don’t have Netflix this month so I’m going from memory and can’t pull up screenshots bear with me) The response that draws the most attention is Claire’s giggle. She giggles in response. She appears shy at first, Merlin walks up to her and gently lifts her chin, and her response is positive.

Now, one could assume that she was laughing out of nervousness. I could relate to that. The times when I was underage and being hit on by significantly older men, my first reaction was to giggle or chuckle politely, do nothing to upset them, and then extricate myself from the situation however I could. However that’s irl and my being uncomfortable existed with or without any external observation. Trollhunters is a fictional text whose job is to communicate everything it wants to to the viewer. Anything it does not communicate does not tangentially exist. That means that if the creative team indeed intended to have Claire’s giggle be one of discomfort, it would be their job to communicate it to the viewer via cinematography, her body language, dialogue, or an extra scene where she discloses her feelings on Merlin’s actions, that she did feel uncomfortable. All it would take would be a nervous side glance and a brief close-up shot of her face or something of the like. However, the scene only displays her reaction as a surface level giggle, which portrays a positive reaction.

The other reactions in the scene are Jim, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky’s. The issue here is that they don’t react. None of the characters bat their eyes at this. Now there’s that screenshot that I’ve seen going around where Blinky is looking at Merlin with indignation while the wizard is ugh caressing her chin. The point being made, partially in jest, is that Blinky’s angry about it just like the viewer. But that screenshot is actually slightly out of context. During that part, Blinky was reacting to something Merlin had said that was entirely unrelated to the inappropriate behavior. Someone could say that maybe the Trolls don’t know about such human customs and that’s why they didn’t bat an eye, and Toby and Jim are uncomfortable but don’t feel like they’re able to speak up or some manner of such. But, again, nothing in the text shows or says this. Again, all it would take would be a shot of a nervous glance. If you assume that one of the characters did indeed feel discomfort, then feel free to assume it, idc. But at that point it’s a headcanon. And headcanons, while they can make canon more fun, are by no means a way of dismissing canon of the roles it failed to fulfill, or absolving it of issues with its content.

Okay, but maybe someone would say that you don’t need characters to tell the viewer what’s right or wrong. Obviously, the scene was meant to show Merlin as the unsavory sort and somehow also comment on society’s intentional obliviousness to the lighter forms of sexual harassment. To which I would respond by saying that if that were the case, then the creative team would have to communicate that message if not by the characters, then by the cinematography. For instance, a change in shot composition, lighting, camera movement, or by the sound design or the background music. To which that scene has none of that. It is something that happens and then is immediately forgotten about, no significance whatsoever is added to the part where Merlin flirts with an underage girl in the context of the episode or overall show.

If the creative team intended to comment on Merlin’s specific actions of flirting with Claire, then they failed, and it did not make it into the finished product.

People might also say that it’s fine because Merlin, a fictional character created by a group of people, is from the middle ages, and during that time Claire would have been considered an adult. This is an argument I have multiple problems with that I will not get into, but first of all, the show does not communicate this. If they really wanted to address the social changes Merlin has to adapt to, the creative team would have had Toby and Jim onscreen explain to Merlin that 18 is now the age of adulthood, slavery is no longer okay, and equal rights are a thing. Also on a storytelling level, they would need a way to juxtapose Merlin’s way of thinking with another character’s or by cinematography to show that the characters who grew up in modern times don’t think underage flirting is okay like he does. Which I’ve already established did not happen.

So at the end of the day, what does Trollhunters have to say about Merlin, an old man, flirting with an underage girl and, urk, gently lifting her chin like a goddamned creep if in its text all it has is non-reactions, no commentary, and a single positive reaction? Well, perhaps not an endorsement of, but most certainly an unintentional normalization of such an action.

And you know what, who cares? Right? Its just a random kids show. Why did I write all this down? Well, partially because I’m a film buff who over-analyzes fictional texts on my free time. But also because this is just a minor example of how fiction reflects even the less than savory aspects of our society. The creative team of Trollhunters probably didn’t see an issue with Merlin flirting with an underage girl, or if they did, it wasn’t a large enough one that is was removed from the finished product. And also, because this is a very good example of the greater issues of the show. Specifically why Merlin breeds so much hate: because the text of the show does not do enough to comment on his moral ambiguity (he is framed as a morally gray good guy who “looks at the bigger picture”, but not all of his eh, less than savory actions are addressed and it leaves viewer feeling as though some of those behaviors are then seen as normal which can leave a really icky feeling [see the Philadelphia Story to get more of those nasty feelings]). Also the fact that while the show is not overtly sexist, it is most definitely filtered through a, eh hum, slightly uninformed male gaze. Only uninformed males (and maybe some females with internalized sexism) would assume that an underage girl would have a positive reaction to an old man calling her a “lovely creature” and gently lifting her chin and leaning over her so the old man is effectively looming over her and ugh why did it have to be like that. (If people are interested I’ll do an analysis on Trollhunters and gender ‘cause boy do I have things to say about gender and sexual dimorphism in this show)

PS to anyone who says that the creators are just waiting to address these issues in Wizards, no film maker worth their salt would intentionally do that, what the heck? who wants to deliberately make a children’s show and add an underage flirting scene and then just leave it unaddressed for years like jesus mcfeezus I would worry about more than their capabilities as a showrunner

[andreafmn]

Collision - Chapter 1

Word Count: 3,434

Characters: Female Reader Uley Character, Sam Uley, Allison Uley, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan, Seth Clearwater, Billy Black, Jacob Black, Emily Young, Paul Lahote, Harry and Sue Clearwater, Leah Clearwater

Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life at it’s first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. 

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Twilight, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. The only thing I own is Uley Reader insert, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 1/?

A/N: There’s no Cullen’s in the first chapter, we’ll see them soon though. Also, Esme is in the story but her and Carlisle are not together romantically. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Next->

Chapter 1

Going back home felt bizarre for (Y/N). It had been 4 years since she had moved away from the La Push Reservation on a scholarship to a prep boarding school in Seattle. Although students were expected to go back home during summer break, she spent her time in summer taking college classes or attending internships in the area, so going back didn’t fit into her plans.

But she had just graduated from high school and decided that taking a gap year could not hurt. Seeing her family wouldn’t be that bad either.

(Y/N) Uley had not reunited physically with Sam and Allison Uley since she left for school, only calling occasionally but always being to busy for anything else. The mother and son duo had grown accustomed to the short phone calls and vague emails they would receive from their studious family member. The Uley siblings used to be a very close pair, being only a year apart helped their bond. But since (Y/N) had invested all her energy into her high school career, their relationship rapidly dissipated; replaced by untold secrets and life-changing details.

The Uley girl had no idea what was in store when she went back home. She had left when she was 14 and was coming back an 18-year-old with a high school diploma and a bachelor’s degree. (Y/N) had always been an over achiever and applying to the school she had and taking dual enrollment was no surprise to her mother and brother.

The bus ride from Seattle to La Push lasted almost eight hours, so (Y/N) equipped herself with two books, plenty of snacks, and a fully charged iPod to handle the ride. She had gotten the earliest ride available always enjoying the intriguing mystery that 3 am travels brought. Her brown eyes surveyed the curious characters that voyaged alongside her a young woman sat with a sleeping baby in her arms, the dark circles under her eyes signaled the baby was still a newborn getting adapted to a sleep schedule; there was a middle-aged man, his eyes attached to a computer and a briefcase tight to his side; there were two teenagers, backpacks at their feet and shared headphones in between them. They were wearing light blue polo shirt and her school insignia embroidered on the left side of their shirt. She had seen them in passing, two freshmen still energetic and excited for their school life. She looked at them and smiled, remembering being in their shoes four years ago.

Four hours in, (Y/N) had finished one book, and the bus made its first stop in Port Angeles, the place where everyone that traveled with her got off. It wasn’t surprising to see from the top of her book as everyone got off, she didn’t recognize any of them from the reservation so it would have been surprising if any of them had stayed in the bus. For the next four hours, (Y/N) continued to read her second book surrounded by a comforting silence. The sun had risen about an hour ago and a nice warmth was streaming from the bus window and (Y/N) felt herself drift in bliss.

Her eyes fluttered open once again when she felt the bus finally rolling to a stop. She blinked a few times as she adjusted her vision to the bright midday sun and her brain restarted normal functions. The brunette gathered the bag with her travel companions and got up from the chair she had been glued to for eight hours.

“Have a good day,” the driver chimed as (Y/N) was walking down the bus.

“You too, drive safe!” The girl smiled and got her two suitcases out of the side of the bus.

(Y/N) got startled as she felt two arms wrap around her midriff and quickly swung her elbow back.

“Woah, woah, careful with those arms, (Y/N). It’s just me,” the girl turned around, a gleaming grin adorning her face.

“Sam!” She jumped onto the open arms of her older brother, seeing the years that had passed on his tired face.

“Look at you, darling. All grown up,” Allison Uley smiled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“Mom, I’ve missed you.” (Y/N) hugged her mother tightly, noticing the difference in heights of her and her mother. Another thing she noticed was the strain between her mother and her brother. Before she left, they all had a very close relationship but now it felt like so many things had interlaced into their bond. “Let’s go home yeah?”

“I’m, actually I gotta go to my house,” Sam scratched the back of his neck.

“What house?” (Y/N) chuckled.

“I moved out, but I’ll come over for your welcome dinner.”

“Sam, she just came back. Don’t you wanna spend time with your sister?” Allison begged, wanting to have both of her children under the same roof again.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, mom. Leave it.” Sam sighed. “I’ll see you at dinner, (Y/N).”

He kissed the top of his sister’s head and left. He wanted to tell them the whole truth, but he knew he couldn’t. Knowing that information would put them in a level of danger that he didn’t want them to be aware of.

(Y/N) stared at the retreating figure of his brother as he ran down the street, leaving her and their mother.

“What’s up with him?”

“Oh darling, if only I knew.” Allison sighed grabbing one of the suitcases her daughter had brought. “Let’s just head to the house so you can rest.”

“Yeah, let’s.” (Y/N) gave Allison a comforting smile and wheeled the second suitcase towards the truck.

The drive home was as short as she remembered, and the house hadn’t changed a bit. She walked up the steps to the porch and opened the old wooden door; it still made the same creaking sound. The house still smelled of seawater and pine, an odd mix but a comforting scent. (Y/N) regretted all the summers she missed here and all the days she spent away from her family.

She made her way up the stairs and entered the first door to the right. She ran her fingers through the stickers she had pasted on there when she was 13: a wolf, a rainbow, a heart, and a picture of her family. Her name still carved at the highest point of the door and she smiled at the memory of that. She sat atop Sam’s shoulder when she was just 12 years old, a trembling hand holding a pick as she carved as best as she could the name “(Y/N)”.

The doorknob as it was turned let out a squeaky groan and the door needed an extra push to open. The room had not changed at all. The walls were still painted a light green, the light switch still had the pink princess cover, the bedding had the little purple butterflies embroidered on them, and the pillows were all pink and purple. In a corner rested the five boxes (Y/N) had sent to the house from her dorm room.

“It hasn’t changed a bit,” (Y/N) commented as she felt her mother’s presence behind her.

“I didn’t want to change it until you came back,” Allison smiled. “But I’m sure you’d like to give this place a bit of a makeover.”

“Definitely,” she laughed. “I think I’ll go to Port Angeles this weekend, doing some shopping can’t hurt.”

“That’s true.” Allison side hugged her daughter as she laughed. She headed towards the door but stopped when she was called upon by her daughter.

“Hey, mom?”

“Yes, darling?”

“By any chance, do you know where Sam’s living?” Allison’s body stiffened but shared the information with her daughter. Maybe she could figure out why he’d just disappeared.

(Y/N) was surprised to hear he was living with a girl she barely knew. She knew of Emily Young through Leah Clearwater, but not much after that. Last thing she had heard Leah and Sam had been dating. She certainly had missed some very important pivotal points in her brother’s life.

The house wasn’t far, so she decided to walk there. Upon arrival she could feel the warm and inviting aura that the quaint house emanated. The blue door called to her as she knocked on it. It finally opened and revealed her brother.

“(Y/N), what’re you doing here?”

“I’m here to see my big brother. Is that such a crime?” She laughed.

“No, of course. Come in,” he smiled begrudgingly. “I don’t have much time so we gotta make this quick.”

“Wow, feeling the love there,” she chuckled passing through the doorframe.

“There’s just some things that I have to do before dinner tonight.”

“It’s okay, I get it. I just wanted to ask if you could help me on the weekend with my room. I’m bringing it four years into the present, gotta make sure it looks like an 18-year-old sleeps there.”

“Yeah, I’ll come over Sunday afternoon and help you then. Anything else you need?”

“Well, not exactly, but it wouldn’t help to catch up. You know make up for four years of chit chat conversations and get me up to date with at the happenings in your life.”

“There’s not much to say other than I moved out and I’m engaged.” He said nonchalantly.

“Excuse me?! You’re engaged and failed to mention that to me?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, (Y/N).”

“Yes, it is, Sam! You’re getting married and this is the first I’m ever hearing of this or the fact that you moved out or the fact that you’re engaged to your ex-girlfriend’s cousin. I think it is a big deal.”

“Okay, yeah. Kind of a long story on that one.”

“Enough time to tell it to me?” Sam hesitated. He could hear Emily’s truck approaching and two male voices coming back from patrol. He needed to get (Y/N) out of the house before they got here.

“Maybe another time. I’ll call you on Sunday, yeah?” Sam asked as he nudged his sister out of his house.

“I guess.” (Y/N) mumbled as she was pushed out the front door. “Bye.”

“See ya.” Sam kissed the side of her head and closed the door.

(Y/N) left the house with more questions about her brother that she had begun with but didn’t want to press on. There was no use if he wasn’t going to talk, so she walked back home.

Her mother had gone out, possibly grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, giving (Y/N) time to catch up on some much-needed sleep. She walked up the stairs and into her room, plopping down on the bed not caring how she landed. All she wanted was to close her eyes and rest.

By six in the afternoon her eyes fluttered open once again. She could smell the dinner her mother had been cooking. The room had darkened as the sun was going down and thankfully her mother had turned on a lamp for (Y/N) to have some vision. The girl got up from bed and grabbed some clothes from her suitcase to take a quick shower before dinner. She stripped all her clothes off and let the water wash away all the hours of the day. As soon as the water started turning cold, she shut it off and got out.

For a second, (Y/N) stopped and stared at herself in the mirror above the sink. She barely recognized the girl staring back. The bags under her eyes were deeper than the last time she had seen herself in this specific mirror, her cheekbones were more defined than before, her skin paler than usual since she hadn’t really seen the sun in a while.

It didn’t take her long to change into some new clothes and head downstairs, where she saw her mother on the phone. Disappointment evident in her eyes.

“Sam, it’s your sister… please… ok, fine. Just don’t flake on her on Sunday,” Allison sighed, turning off her phone and slamming it on the counter.

“Everything okay, mom?”

“Oh, yeah, darling. Your brother won’t be able to join us, but Billy and Jacob, and the Clearwaters are on their way, and I also invited Charlie and Bella Swan. I hope you don’t mind that they join in.”

“No, I don’t mind. What about Paul?”

“You know I’ve never liked that boy, honey.” (Y/N) stared at her mother. Refusing to continue the conversation until Allison answered the question. “I did invite him, but he couldn’t come.”

“I love seeing you make an effort,” (Y/N) laughed and kissed her mother on the cheek. “I’ll set the table.”

“Thank you, darling.”

(Y/N) grabbed the 10 plates needed for the night and the respective cutlery. She still remembered how her mother liked the table arranged and set it as such. She set the vase filled with fresh flowers in the middle of the table, leaving space on the sides for the dinner platters. The arrival of the guests was soon after. (Y/N) had grown alongside Jacob and Leah, and on the summers, she would spend her times with the Swan girl. Once Seth was born, he became very close with the Uley girl.

“My oh my, (Y/N), how you’ve grown.” Billy Black grabbed Uley’s hand and smiled up at her, with the warmness that summer brought.

“Indeed, I have, and you haven’t aged a day in four years. What’s your secret?”

“It’s in the genes,” he laughed alongside the young girl. She’d always been a charmer, he thought “You remember my boy, Jacob, right?”

“How could I ever forget? Hey, Jake!”

“How you’ve been, (Y/N)?” Jacob approached his friend and wrapped her in a hug. “Been an awful long time.”

“Four years, that’s not much,” she smiled. “Come in.”

The father and son duo entered the house, and next came the Clearwaters. Harry, Sue, and Seth. No Leah. They had always been close to the Uleys, a bit of divide coming after the rupture between the eldest offspring of each family.

“Oh, wow, where has the time gone?” Sue commented, greeting the girl with a tight hug.

“4 years really do go by quick, don’t they?”

“They sure do, Harry.” (Y/N) smiled, motioning the couple in.

Finally, Seth walked in and engulfed (Y/N) in a tight hug. The girl was 5 years his elder, but he considered her one of his best friends. Seth and Paul were the only two people (Y/N) kept in close contact other than her family. For some time, Paul and (Y/N) had drifted apart but Seth always sent his monthly excited letters, updating her on what he had been up to.

“I missed you, (Y/N)!” Little Seth spoke into a bundle of brunette hair.

“I missed you too, Seth.” She smiled as he walked past her, joining his parents.

The last to enter were Sheriff Swan and Bella. The cop smiled at the girl and gave her a quick hug, commenting on how much she had grown, a low chuckle leaving his throat. Bella entered with hunched shoulders, possibly not wanting to be there but she still smiled at her old friend. Vague memories filled the girls’ heads of summer play dates and days at the beach.

“It’s been quite some time, huh?” Bella muttered.

“It sure has. It’s great to see you again,” (Y/N) smiled. “How have you liked Forks now that you’re back full time. Still hating cold weather?”

“Yeah,” the pale girl chuckled. “But it has its better days.”

The girls joined in a quick giggled before joining the rest of the group at the dinner table. Allison had already set the table and had said her hellos to the group.

The three males had engaged in sports conversations and the teens were all huddled in the kitchen munching on cheese and crackers and engaging in small chit chat.

“So, (Y/N), 18 and already a degree, how does that feel?” Jacob asked, stuffing his mouth with cheese and ham.

“Well, as good as it can be. Don’t know exactly what I’m gonna do now. All I know is that I’m taking a year off and taking a breather for the first time.” (Y/N) chuckled.

“I just can’t believe you’d spend all this time going to school, twice as much. I don’t like school at all,” Seth chimed in, picking apart the cheese and filling his mouth.

“So, you spent these past four years studying, including your summers?” Bella added.

“That’s correct,” (Y/N) smiled. “And now I have a degree and nothing to do with it.”

The group chuckled and moved towards the adults as they were being called to dinner. In the center of the table was a big platter of spaghetti and meatballs, (Y/N)’s favorite food, a tray of toasted garlic bread, and a bowl of a colorful mix of spring salad.

(Y/N) always enjoyed her mother’s cooking. Even on her saddest days, Allison’s cooking could warm her heart at any time. She and her mother had a very close relationship, even after four years of distance. Since her father left early in her life, her mother had always tried her hardest to make sure both her children were loved and cared for. And she stayed wondering where she had gone wrong with Sam and hoping (Y/N) didn’t stray away as her eldest had.

The dinner group had all taken their seats at the dinner table and were passing around the various platters, serving themselves their desired portions. Jacob and Seth were overfilling their plates, receiving a laugh from their respective parents. Charlie, Harry, and Billy were filling their plates with more protein than carbohydrates and the moms at the table smiled at the males engulfing the meatballs. (Y/N) looked around the table and smiled. It had been a long time since she had sat down with the important people in her life and was relaxed, even if two of them were missing.

After everyone was served, everything went almost quiet. Some background music could be heard from the living room and the sound of forks hitting plates and mouths chewing filled the environment. Everyone was comfortable with the silence, but there was still one question in everyone’s mind.

“Where’s Sam?” Seth spoke up, voicing everyone’s question. The whole table paused in action and Seth felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Sue softly elbowed her son. “What?”

“It’s okay, Sue,” (Y/N) smiled. “He couldn’t be here, bud.”

“Maybe he was feeling bad, like Leah.” He added earning a burning stare from both his parents.

“Maybe, Seth.”

“I just wanna apologize for our daughter missing this dinner. I know she really wanted to see you, (Y/N).”

“Oh, Harry, it’s really no problem. I’m sure I’ll catch up with her soon enough.” (Y/N) smiled trying to ease the tension felt in the room. She could see her mother gripping her fork tightly as she kept her head down. “But I would also like to apologize on behalf of Sam, I know he wanted to be here.”

Everyone simply nodded and went back to their plates. The rest of the evening was enjoyable. No one mentioned the pair that was missing, and (Y/N)’s past four years were questioned in depth. She had an answer for everything except “What are you gonna do now?”

She didn’t know and that’s what she answered. She mentioned she wanted to study medicine, having finished a degree in biology and always loved taking care of other people. Sue was excited, being a nurse herself. But (Y/N) had landed at a standstill in terms of her life and career. A vast portion of her life had been defined as a student and now that this part was over, she didn’t know who she was.  

The dinner festivities were over soon thereafter, leaving Allison and (Y/N) to clean up after the group. The Uley pair put everything away in silence, exhausted from the eventful day. (Y/N) could see as her mother wiped away a few stray tears, sniffling behind her hair. The girl knew better than to bring the topic back up and left her mother with a kiss on the temple and a good night.

Upstairs, (Y/N) prepared herself for bed. The event had drained nay energy still left in her and she plopped down on the bed with a small thud. She had prepared her clothes for the next day, knowing her energy would also be drained but still excited to have this change. Her eyes fluttered close as she heard in the distance her mother’s quiet footsteps on the staircase, darkness overtaking her.

Next->

A/N: if you wish to be tagged for the next parts, please let me know. I’d be happy to. <3

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO REBLOG THIS SO I COULD ASK. YAY. 1, 5, 11, 14 (WAAO), 17 (croissant croissant oui oui oui plus baguette), 18, 22, 25, 36, 49 and the most important of all, 50. ❤

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

It was more than half my lifetime ago—I was 10!

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I only have a couple, lol, but I’d have to say We Are an Ocean. I’m not sure if I love it or hate it at this point, but I’ve put so so so so much effort and time and love into it! It’s my baby! 

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not on major plot points, but... About ten years ago, I wrote a oneshot based in the late 1940s, and someone pointed out to me that seatbelts in cars weren’t really a thing back then. I did go back and change that, lmao. Fly free, kiddos, you’re on your own in a car crash! 

14) How did you come up with the title for We Are an Ocean? 

I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME WITH IT. I knew I wanted it to be friends-with-benefits turned lovers turned partners in every aspect, but the gradual change there over the course of the story makes it hard to choose a single theme... and I almost always name my fics based on theme! I literally spent two days scouring quotes in about twenty different themes, and finally found the quote I used and decided it was good enough. It was defeatism more than anything, lmao! Here’s the whole quote from which I got the title of the fic: "Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean." -Ryunosuke Satoro. 

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. (I cheated and did three from my ‘oui oui oui plus baguette’ story, as you put it, lmao.)

“Où sont lez… what was it, again?”

“Forget it. Stay close to me and avoid getting lost, because I do not think you will never be able to speak French, Tony DiNozzo.”

“Why would I ever need to, when I have you?”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I have one! It’s a long and sordid tale of heartbreak and drama, lmao, so I’ll spare you the details, but basically, I co-wrote it with someone I was very close to. When we had a falling out, I rewrote much of the story for my own sanity but didn’t post it—it was just for me. Eventually, when I’d gotten whatever closure I needed out of it, I stopped doing that, too. The story still exists somewhere in the format of text messages on an old phone shoved in a drawer somewhere, but what was posted back when that person and I were still close is all that will ever be published. (I did get a tattoo because of the whole experience of rewriting by myself, though... song lyrics from Hamilton! “I picked up a pen; I wrote my own deliverance.”)

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

SO MANY. Actually, I keep meaning to go back and delete pretty much everything I wrote prior to 2019, lmao. Thanks for the reminder! 

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

YES. As you know, I’m an incredibly easy crier. I usually don’t, though... I like to say that I hurt my own feelings instead. When I’m writing, I’m usually so focused on the forest that the trees can’t make me cry, lmao. There’s so much going on in my head—plot, dialogue, word count, staying IC, timing, descriptions, continuity, throwing in pianos to piss you off, pacing, grammar, keeping track of clothes if I’m writing smut, etc. It makes me a little removed from my story until I give it a read-through when I publish it. Once, though, during my RP days... my partner and I were writing a story that I KNEW would make me cry but I still wrote it when I was in public. I was on a long-distance overnight bus from London to Amsterdam with 100 strangers and there were NO TISSUES. I got snot all over myself. Gross. 10/10, would recommend embarrassing yourself that badly in the name of art at least once in your life!

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

Sure, I’ll give you a few! For WAAO, spoilers with no context: guilt/grief/fear/rage all wrapped up in one devastated character, the worst international trip in the world, a therapist, Anacostia Park, and a baby that wants to be passed from person to person every 90 seconds. 

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can, lmao, cause I’m scarred for life. I was roughly 8 years old and even back then, I was very shippy... I was looking for a Harry/Ginny story to read. The one I found involved Harry cheating on his wife with Cho Chang and in the end, Ginny got pissed enough that she straight up murdered him. Wtf. I’m still not okay. 

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

WAIT THIS ONE’S HARD. WTF SOFIA. Ummmmmmmmm... shit. I guess I’m going to go with fluff, because angst is no fun if it doesn’t resolve into fluff anyway, and it’s hard enough to write the occasional smut fic without it being the only thing I’m allowed to write! Yeah, okay, my final answer is fluff. But I don’t like it and you’re on thin ice for asking this question, lmao. 

Fanfiction Writer Asks

[shutupkimjongdae]

[TRANS/ARTICLE] Korean vs Chinese Fans on Gift-Giving Culture; Chinese Fans of Chen Participate in Adoption Programs This is a compilation consisting of the four related written works below:

Title 1: 140530 "From subway ads to a dolphin" Chinese fans' gift-giving culture is on a-whole-nother level

Title 2: 130904 Kim Jongdae received a dolphin as a birthday present from Chinese fans

Title 3: 180628 Evolution of fans’ love, everything about the gift-giving culture

Title 4: Notable animal adoptions made under CHEN’s name by Chinese fans; Adoption programs under World Wildlife Fund - Hong Kong

140530 "From subway ads to a dolphin" Chinese fans' gift-giving culture is on a-whole-nother level

(picture shown above) Caption: Adoption certificate of a dolphin that was adopted by a Chinese fan for member Chen (real name Kim Jongdae) of the group EXO Hallyu (Korean Wave) has almost become a familiar word to us now. Especially in our neighboring country, China, Hallyu has become very popular. China is the second largest country by total area and has the largest population; it's truly a 'continent'[1], and they're huge compared to us. Proportionally, the number of fans in China who love and support K-pop stars is huge. What is the difference between Chinese and Korean fan culture? Then, how does the fan culture in China differ from that in Korea? In order to find out more about the fan culture in China, we conducted both online and in-person interviews with 15 Chinese fans, who are either fans of a K-pop idol or have high interest in K-pop. Surprisingly, the Chinese fan culture seems to be not much different from the Korean fan culture. Fans from both China and Korea are more than willing to follow the idol no matter where they go, frequently interact online, and sometimes even meet up in person. They sometimes buy a gift for the idol together. And most importantly, most of the fans are young women of ages between 12 and 25. We are guessing the fan chants and different ways of supporting an idol that are popular in Korea may have affected the Chinese fan culture since (most) K-pop stars are from Korea. "We are jealous of the Korean fans who have better chances of seeing the idol in person" (ID: zhuangyixinge). "If we like the same idol, that means we are family" (우치[2], 12, Sichuan). Some of them expressed jealousy and a sense of comradeship/relatability towards Korean fans. While doing the interview, the most interesting and noteworthy thing we discovered about China's fan culture is the huge gift-giving culture. "There are two traits that Chinese fans have. First, they're rich, and second, they're rich" (거이몽[2], 23, Henan). "The Chinese fans really give a lot of gifts to the idols" (구이쩐[2], 21, Sichuan). As though proportional to the size of population, the number of wealthy fans among the Chinese fans is also large. In Korea, they call gift-giving to an idol as "paying a tribute", but it seems silly to call the gifts given by the Chinese fans as "tribute" since they are on another level. They even spent tens of millions of wons to put up birthday ads for an EXO member in Korean subway stations The second generation K-pop group who is gaining a lot of popularity in China, EXO, has also received many interesting gifts from Chinese fans. Chinese EXO fans are famous for putting up members' birthday ads in subway stations or bus stations, which usually costs several million won.

Caption: An EXO member Xiumin's birthday ad on a subway station wall Just like the fans of other popular K-pop groups like Super Junior[3], EXO's Chinese fans celebrate the members' birthdays through a bus or subway ad. This March[4], member Luhan had his birthday, and the Chinese fans have put a birthday ad on the 420 bus in downtown Beijing, which costs around 20 million won, for two years in a row. Besides this, EXO is famous for having received unique gifts from their Chinese fans. They used hot air balloons and trucks to celebrate LAY's birthday and to celebrate the member CHEN's birthday, they adopted a dolphin living in the Northern Scotland region under his name, which is very unique. Ultimately, the fans' love for their idols is the same no matter where they are from. There is a small difference in their fan culture, but it could be that the Chinese fan culture was also influenced by Hallyu; there is no striking difference between the Chinese and the Korean fans. However, because there are many fans from China who are well off, some Chinese fans will give such fancy gifts that we can't even imagine. But recently, many K-pop idols have stopped accepting gifts that are too expensive. Even in Korea, instead of physically buying idols expensive gifts, the fans have started to do things like donating money under the idol's name or doing volunteer work, and the fan culture is becoming more about giving back to society and is changing in a positive way. We are guessing the Chinese fans will be influenced by this too, and the idols will be receiving less "tributes" in the future and will be given more heartwarming gifts.

130904 Kim Jongdae received a dolphin as a birthday present from Chinese fans[5]

It looks like they didn’t buy the ownership, but are financially supporting a wild dolphin[6]. Its name is SUN DANCE, meaning dancing in the direction of the sun. I also heard they are building a 'Jongdae library' in Mongolia. Amazing. Chinese[7] fans are another level. Last time they gave him a star as a birthday present.

180628 Evolution of fans’ love, everything about the gift-giving culture

Summary: Interview with Kim Yoonha, a popular culture critic, regarding fan culture. Mentions various idols and what their fans have contributed to the culture. Unrelated parts omitted. Recently, there have been more cases where the fans do volunteer work or other acts of kindness as a gift to their artists. Especially since more celebrities[8] are telling the fans directly that "the love you give us is enough, we will not accept gifts and hope you will use the money on something better". For example, there are many fans who have helped build things like wells and libraries in (financially) struggling areas like some countries in Africa to show their love to the artists[9]. Recently, there were some really interesting gifts. You know, the endangered species[10]. Animals such as dolphins. EXO CHEN's fans, they sponsored wild animals and gifted (Chen) the adoption certificate of a dolphin[11]. Another interesting and popular way of showing love to their artists is buying a constellation under their names.

Notable animal adoptions made under CHEN’s name by Chinese fans; Adoption programs under World Wildlife Fund - Hong Kong

Chenest (2013): Bengal Tiger under Kim Jong Dae

SmileKJD (2014): Giant Panda under Kim Jong Dae

TwinklingChenstar (2014): Chinese White Dolphin under Chen from EXO

far more endangered than pandas and thus is called “panda of the water”

motivation: nickname “one who came from the star of the dolphins” (pun on 2014 K-drama “You Who Came From the Stars”) given to Chen by Korean media because of his high notes of the whistle register (often referred to as dolphin sounds)

also known as “Pink Dolphin” since upon adulthood, their skin turns pink, which is fitting as “our Jongdae likes pink the most~”

Chenest (2014): My Baby Shark Project under Kim Jong Dae

6 young sharks as well as their mother

the sharks’ locations can be seen via Google Maps or Google Earth (location IDs stated on certificate)

5 baby sharks have been named as various forms of Chen’s name: Kim Jongdae, Chen, Chen Chen, 金鐘大 (his Chinese name),, Jongdae; the 6th one is named after Chenest (meaning: hoping Chenest can accompany wherever Chen goes)

Notes: 1. ‘continent’ = slang expression some Koreans use to refer to China even though it’s not actually one; as neighboring countries, both China and Japan often come up in conversation and are referred to by their distinct landforms: Korea as the peninsula, Japan as the island, and China as the continent as it is neither the aforementioned nor landlocked) 2. Names of Chinese fans have been left in their already translated Korean forms due to irrelevance and possibility of inaccuracy. 3. Unrelated (non-EXO) parts omitted. 4. The article said March, but Luhan’s birthday is 4/20 (and thus the 420 bus). 5. Redundant parts omitted. 6. This particular dolphin adoption (by fansite C-C Lemons) is mentioned again in following article. 7. Following from previous note [1] above, this post also refers to Chinese fans as “continental” fans. 8. Chen is one of these idols; he announced on 160719 that he will no longer accept fan gifts. 9. Some known fan donations under Chen’s name: UNICEF, Korean Animal Welfare Association, Save the Children, The Snail of Love, Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation, ALS Association, “Chen” Forest, Siheung Jungwang Social Welfare Centre, scholarship for students attending his alma mater (mentioned on 160921), etc. 10. Other animals adoptions have also been made under Chen’s name. See next part. 11.. We are not sure if there is a particular “recent” dolphin adoption the critic is referring to (as this article was published recently in June 2018). All related information that was found is on adoptions made in 2013-2014, mentioned above already.

source: x x x x x x x translator: jen + phyl please do not repost without permission!

[5hfanfiction]

The Last Person You Love - Chapter 1

Summary: 

It started at a coffee shop, as all cliché love stories do.

~ 

Despite it being mid-September, remnants of summer’s heat still lingered for a few hours a day before the crisp air from the fog took over. It was typical San Francisco - one moment the sun would be shining and all of a sudden a blank white sheet was covering the sky. Camila worked downtown near the Bay and, from her view from the hospital windows, she would often admire how rays of sunlight reflected off the water and skyscrapers to highlight the bridge connecting the city and Treasure Island. As she would bike back to her apartment through nearly sky-high hills, Camila’s lungs heaved for oxygen and would be relieved when the fog rolled in to cool down the sweat falling down her face.

She lived in the western part of the city - opposite the Financial district where all the booming tech companies were taking over and where tourists scoured for the best clam chowder near Union Square. She lived in the residential area by the ocean and just a ten minute bike ride to the beach - although, it was nothing in comparison to the beaches back in her hometown, Miami. Ocean Beach’s sand was too coarse and - as ridiculous as this may sound - the Pacific Ocean just felt different from the Atlantic. It was not as warm and the water against her skin did not feel as smooth. Nonetheless, she still loved it. It was one of her favorite places in the city. She and her best friend, Dinah, often found themselves there, playing reggae and entertaining themselves with a few joints because it was San Francisco and smoking weed in public was as common as wearing headphones on public transportation.

After graduating from New York University three months ago, Camila returned to San Francisco to be with her mother, Sinuhe, and younger sister, Sofia. The three of them moved to the city after Camila’s father died from lung cancer the summer before her freshman year of high school. He was an architect for houses along the coast and, after he died, their home simply felt like a house. So they packed their things and moved to the first job offering Sinu got, which was not too hard considering she was one of the nation’s most renowned cardiothoracic surgeons.

The whole situation was overwhelming for Camila - one moment she was saw her dad take his final breath in a hospital bed and the next moment she was in the middle seat of a plane, admiring Sofi admire the window view from their high altitude. However, San Francisco did her well. She cannot explain it, but it helped her grow in more ways than she believed she would have had she stayed in Miami.

They went from a three-story mansion with a backyard the size of a park to a two-bedroom townhome that was half the size of their previous home, yet double the cost. Camila took the bus every day to her high school, which she had to apply to despite being a public school rather than being assigned by proximity to her home. Her school emphasized service learning and critical diversity, and the foreign language department offered various languages rather than just Spanish. Their field trips were to community centers, museums and gardens, and tech headquarters in Silicon Valley. Camila loved Miami for its rich Cuban culture and laid-back aura, but San Francisco always offered something new. There were endless opportunities and so much autonomy to navigate self-discovery, which is what Camila needed after losing her father.

San Francisco made her realize she was a city girl and, ultimately, made the transition to study in New York City not as overwhelming than if she had moved straight from Miami. At NYU, Camila studied Global Public Health and Science with a track in Biology - her goal being to follow in her mother’s footsteps and be a doctor, too. Maybe not surgery because Camila wanted to form relationships with patients and be part of their lives - not just seeing them once or twice, and saying goodbye after that. Her dream was to foster her passion for underserved healthcare and social justice through comprehensive and compassionate care to long-term patients.

Since Camila finished her undergraduate studies in three years, Sinu let her daughter take a gap year to apply for medical school and gain clinical experience during what would have been Camila’s fourth and final year of college. Through her mother’s connections, Camila was able to get an internship at the hospital Sinu practiced at. Camila was a medical scribe, which was a fancy term for “personal assistant to her mother, who she could not call her mother in front of patients, so basically she was Dr. Cabello’s bitch, which really was not any different than from when she was living home.” Her main responsibility was charting her mother’s interactions with patients, documenting all important notes from their discussions. The job is perfect for her considering she spent most of her high school years typing away her feelings on the Internet. Sinu used to always take away her laptop when she was a teenager because she spent “too much time staring at a screen” and, now, Camila loves to rub in her mother’s face that her word-per-minute count can keep up with how fast Sinu talks thanks to all her tweets and Tumblr posts.

With her mom being her supervisor, though, Camila’s hours were lenient - mostly because her mother dismiss her early to pick Sofi up from her middle school and take her to all her extracurriculars. In between piano lessons and soccer practice, Camila often found herself waiting for her younger sister at her favorite coffee shop near Golden Gate Park. The coffee shop was just another hole in the wall, but she loved its minimalist interior design, fairy-light-adorned patio, and lavender white chocolate mocha. She has been going to this place since she had to study for the SAT. However, with her studying in New York, she never considered herself a regular until she moved back home after graduation. She spent all summer working on her medical school application and published article about her undergraduate research on educational neuroscience, but, now, with both submitted, Camila was able to actually enjoy the ambience of the charming coffee shop.

Taking a break from watching YouTube videos on how to properly water succulents, Camila looked up from her screen to sip her mocha and take in all that was around her. There was a table of three adults in business suits, talking animatedly about the stacks of papers next to their mugs. A woman was breastfeeding her baby as her toddler was playing with the banana bread in front of her. Camila’s eyes scanned the room when they stopped to soak in what had to be the most beautiful being Camila had ever laid her eyes on.

The woman was dressed casually - faint jeans and a white tank top partially covered by a black leather jacket that matched the raven hair twirled halfway down her back. The look was so simple, but Camila could not help but squint her eyes to try and focus on the woman standing in line a few feet away from her table. The mystery woman was texting fervently and her left foot tapped with what Camila assumed to be annoyance. Every few seconds, the woman would let out a long sigh or run her fingers through her hair - both of which were only noticeable to Camila, who tried to hide her gawking behind her laptop and mug.

She could hardly hear what the woman had ordered when she stepped in front of the cashier, but Camila could make out raspy mumbles that intrigued her even more. She looked around her table for an excuse to get up and quickly stuffed the rest of her croissant in her mouth so she could bring her empty plate to the bar. This was her idea of flirting: Sneaking glances at a distracted woman with her mouth too full to even talk. Camila gave a tight-lipped smile to the barista as she finished chewing and swallowed in time to turn around to face the stunning woman waiting for her drink. The woman looked up from her phone to meet Camila’s eyes and it was as if time stopped for a moment.

Camila blushed for having been caught staring, but managed to give a small smile before scurrying back to her table without looking back. The woman stood perplexed at the elegant features of the other woman, wishing she was able to admire more before she basically ran back to her table. Her breath caught at her throat and she was not brought back to reality until her order was called out. She grabbed her dirty chai latte and glanced back at the tables to try and see the woman’s face once more before she had to go to work. Her eyes landed on the woman, but was only able to see the white bow clipped at the top of her light brown hair as she was looking down to write some notes.

The raven-haired woman smiled at how simple yet cute the other woman looked and left the coffee shop knowing it was going to be a good day.

~

Still catching her breathing after her bike ride from work, Camila entered her apartment to find Dinah sulking on their couch with a bowl of ice cream and “Moana” playing.

“Rough day?”

“I miss Mani,” Dinah looked at her best friend and pouted.

Camila simply rolled her eyes at how dramatic her best friend was being. Dinah was so in love with her girlfriend, Normani, that she could not even handle a few days without the older woman. Normani had left just the night before to visit her family and best friend, Ally, back in Texas and Dinah has been acting like a complete baby ever since.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours, Cheech.”

“You don’t understand!” Dinah threw a pillow at Camila. “What’s the point of living without her by my side?!”

“Okay, calm down, Juliet,” Camila sat down on the couch and instantly rested her head on Dinah’s shoulder. “Put the dagger away and just go FaceTime your girl.”

“I can’t. I know she’s having fun and I don’t want to take away time from her family and friends. I just feel so empty, you know?” Dinah sighed and leaned her head against her best friend’s. “Please tell me something interesting that happened today so I can distract myself.”

Camila thought about her day. She just finished a brutal bike ride because there was some convention that caused traffic along her normal route, so she had to take an alternate that included more hills than usual. Her mother was her typical self and kept pestering Camila to have dinner at their house because Sofi was being like any moody middle schooler. Not that she did not love her younger sister, but Camila knew the last thing Sofi needed was some staged intervention by their mother. Sometimes, things just sucked and you needed to be a bitch.

Nothing about her day was out of the ordinary except for the “flirtatious” moment she had with the stunning woman at the coffee shop earlier in the morning. Was their three-second gaze even considered a moment? Maybe it would have been if Camila had not fled in attempt to hide the flush of red that crawled across her face.

“I don’t know, there was this girl at the coffee shop.”

“A girl?!” Dinah’s head instantly snapped up and she bent her head down to look at her best friend with eager eyes. “Spill!”

Camila sat up and shook her head at the mischievous look on Dinah’s face. She shrugged and mumbled, “It’s nothing. We just looked at each other and I ran away.”

“Ugh, not again, Chancho!” Dinah buried her face in the palms of her hands. She groaned at how awful her best friend was at interacting with anyone she found even slightly attractive.

They have been best friends ever since Camila had initially moved to San Francisco and they ended up living in adjacent townhomes. They hit it off right away despite them going to different high schools - Camila at a randomly assigned public school while Dinah went to a private performing arts school on the opposite side of the park. Their families got close as Dinah’s parents always welcomed Camila and Sofi into their homes when Sinu had a night shift, and Camila tutored Dinah in basically every subject except Dance and Music Theory.

With Camila not being the one to really go out and Dinah always getting stuck babysitting her younger siblings and cousins, the two of them basically spent every moment with each other outside of school. They maintained their friendship via constant texting and daily FaceTime sessions while Camila studied at NYU and Dinah stayed in San Francisco to become a dance instructor at the children’s dance studio a few blocks down from their homes. When Camila returned from New York, she knew she would go absolutely insane if she moved back home on top of already working every day with her mother, so she proposed to Dinah that they live together. 

It really was not hard to convince the younger woman to move out of her family’s small townhome with twenty other people.

Their two-bedroom apartment was just five bus stops away from their families, but it was enough for them to feel somewhat independent and in their 20’s. They were able to finish a bottle of wine on a weeknight and not have their mothers scold them for displaying borderline concerning alcoholic tendencies. They rolled and smoked on their fire escape after a rough day - much more convenient than when they would have to sneak out in high school to light a joint at the neighborhood park. They did not have to be second mothers to the little kids running around their homes. They were able to simply enjoy being out of school and somewhat adulting. 

Normani lived with them, too, but, with her working at a major tech company as one of the best computer engineers, she went on several business trips to the company’s other offices - from Seattle and Chicago, to Shanghai and Berlin. You would think with all the business trips the older woman has gone on, Dinah would be used to her absence, but it seemed that the younger woman’s separation anxiety only got worse with each trip. Sometimes, Dinah would be so miserable that Camila sucked up her pride and put on the tightest dress she owned just to take her best friend out clubbing.

Camila may not be able to dance, but her ass was big enough to not have to do much and still have guys fighting over her. She cannot lie and say it did not boost her ego to watch extremely desperate guys gawk at her as she tried to sway her hips the way Dinah so effortlessly did. There would always be a few handsy guys who would grab her waist from behind and try to slam their boners against her, but “D” in “Dinah” basically stood for “Dick Deflector." 

The younger woman never let a guy get their way with her best friend - always shoving them away and grabbing Camila to dance with. Sometimes, Dinah would push Camila against a wall and grind on the older woman just so no guy could get at Camila from the front or back. Sometimes, Dinah would hold Camila from behind and bend her down just to make it clear that her best friend’s Cuban ass was off limits. It was hot for most guys to watch and, honestly, if they were not practically sisters, it would really look like Camila and Dinah had something going on between them. Normani would murder her girlfriend in a heartbeat if Dinah ever danced with anyone the way she did on Camila. The two best friends just worked - there was no other way to explain it. They balanced each other out, always had each other’s backs, and never failed to have the times of their lives together.

So, when Camila admitted she ran away from a girl at the coffee shop, Dinah was not surprised, considering the older woman always ran off to the bathroom whenever someone tried to pick her up at a bar or club. Camila was not experienced with intimacy and romance. In high school, she "dated” a basketball player, Austin, for less than a month before he dumped her because she denied his sexual advances. During her three years of college, Camila only went to a total of seven parties - only four of which she got drunk at and only two of those four instances did she drunkenly kiss someone. She gave Shawn a quick peck on the lips as a rule for King’s Cup and she hooked up with Hailee after she took a body shot from the girl’s cleavage. The girl took Camila to an empty room and showed her what is was like to be with a woman, being the first person to ever see Camila in such a vulnerable state. Camila did not regret having sex for the first time with Hailee, but, prior to their hook up, Camila never considered the thought of being attracted to girls. She always thought girls were pretty and felt more comfortable around them than with guys, but, after experiencing the sheer bliss and passion with Hailee, Camila could not help but think that maybe she was only attracted to guys because that was expected of her and being with a girl was what she truly desired.

This reveal was not surprising to Dinah, who always noticed how flustered her best friend got around boys and caught Camila staring at the cheerleaders more so than the football players when they would go to Friday night games back in high school. She did not care how her best friend identified - all Dinah cared about was that Camila found someone deserving. This was hard to determine when Camila could hardly even flirt. If a decently looking guy tried to converse with her, Camila would stutter and make some excuse about having to pick up her younger sister. Whenever a pretty girl passed by her, which was all the time because women are just so effortlessly beautiful, Dinah would have to physically close Camila’s mouth for her. The younger woman has tried to teach her best friend the basics, but Camila always froze in the moment and resorted to what she knew best: Running off to be by herself.

“I really tried this time, I swear!”

Dinah crossed her arms and gave her an incredulous look. “How?”

“Okay, so I was learning how to take care of succulents, which is much more complicated than you would think, and then I saw her,” Camila stood up to reenact the morning. “She was standing in line on her phone like this and I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something!’ So I did what I thought was the best thing to do in that moment and shoved half a ham and cheese croissant just so I could give the plate to the barista at the bar, where the girl was standing, waiting for her drink.”

Dinah’s mouth hung open at how ridiculous her best friend was, but she let Camila continue.

“When I turned around to go back to my table, our eyes met and holy shit! Dinah, her eyes! Her eyes were like, fuck, I don’t know how to explain it!”

“What color were they?”

“They were green, but not just green!”

“Oh, so like hints of blue?”

“No, no, no,” Camila shook her head furiously as she paced back and forth in front of the TV. “It’s not as simple as that. They were so full. I don’t know how to explain it except that it felt like magic and bliss and warmth and eternity! We looked at each other and time stopped and I felt a rush of comfort take over me as if I have been scouting the universe for centuries and finally found my home.”

When she stopped her movements and looked at Dinah, whose eyes were as wide as saucers, Camila shook her head in frustration at how she could not fathom into words how gorgeous this mystery woman was. She knew she sounded crazy, but, of everyone she has encountered - from Mexico, Cuba, Miami, San Francisco, and New York City - this woman was surreal. You know how everyone has a celebrity crush or that dream person that stars in every fantasy? This woman blew every face imaginable for Camila. Camila did not even understand how a face so perfect could exist - it had to be chiseled by God himself and topped with Midas’ touch.

After moments of silence, Camila plopped face first back into the couch and groaned into the cushions as her best friend rubbed her back.

“Oh, honey…” Dinah cooed. “Should I pop open the red or white?”

“White." 

~

A/N:

This is going to be a very long story… Get ready for an agonizing slow burn… 

I hope you enjoyed - thanks for reading! 

Wattpad: nodustollens7

[thedivinemisshepburn]

Bringing Up Baby - a timeless classic

I can’t give you anything but love, baby

  First of all, I’d like to thank Crystal for organizing the Katharine Hepburn-Spencer Tracy blogathon and for letting me write about one of my favorite Katharine Hepburn pictures. ‘Bringing Up Baby’ was actually the first Hepburn picture I ever saw so it will always be special to me.

On May 3, 1938 the Independent Film Journal printed an article by Harry Brandt titled ‘Box Office Poison’. The piece was written on behalf of the Independent Theatre Owners of American and labeled many well-known movie stars of the time as ‘box office poison’, including Katharine Hepburn. A few months earlier, ‘Bringing Up Baby’ had been released and Katharine Hepburn’s fourteenth picture was another failure in a string of flops that had characterized her career over the previous years. Her last big hit had been ‘Alice Adams’, but that had been almost three years ago. When RKO, her film studio at the time, offered her a movie called ‘Mother Carey’s chickens’, she knew that it was time to buy out her contract and move on to greater things. The movie that had been her last one at RKO and that the New York Times had called ‘a farce which you can barely hear above the precisely enunciated patter of Miss Katharine Hepburn and the ominous thread of deliberative gags’ would also move on to greater things.

In 2000, the American Film Institute ranked ‘Bringing Up Baby’ at number 14 in their list of the 100 funniest movies in American cinema. ‘Bringing Up Baby’ is one of the great screwball comedies which feels timeless and is just as funny when you watch it for the 100th time as it was when you first watched it. The magical chemistry between Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant, the absurd situations in which they find themselves, the song-loving leopard and bone-loving dog, and the great supporting cast  - from Miss Swallow to Major Applegate - all helped make this movie the classic that it has become. This is not so much a review – as I can’t really find anything bad to say about it – as an appreciation, a behind-the-scenes look and an incentive to give this movie a chance (if you haven’t already).

Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant and director Howard Hawks on the set

‘Bringing Up Baby’ is the story of madcap heiress Susan Vance (Katharine Hepburn) and paleontologist David Huxley (Cary Grant) who find themselves drawn to each other, though not in the way you would expect. David only wants two things: to complete his brontosaurus – the last bone he needs is on its way – and to marry his assistant Miss Swallow. That is, until Susan Vance makes a mess of everything. The day before he is supposed to get married, they meet on the golf course. David has an appointment with Mr. Peabody whom he hopes will give one million dollars to the museum where he works. Susan manages to steal his golf ball, his car and his dignity. They keep running into each other, much to David’s dismay. When David finds outs that Mr. Peabody – aka ‘Boopy’ – is a close friend of Susan’s, he asks for her help – that is until he finds himself throwing pebbles at Mr. Peabody’s window in the middle of the night. The next day, Susan calls David because she needs his help. Since he is the only paleontologist she knows, he has to help her bring a leopard (Baby) – which her brother sent her from Brazil – to her country home in Connecticut. David is forced to agree and what follows is a series of absurd events, including leopard hunting in the Connecticut countryside, chasing George (the terrier of Susan’s aunt) who has stolen David’s brontosaurus bone, eventually ending up in prison where everyone involved is suspected of being a member of the ‘Leopard Gang’. The next day, when Susan comes to apologize for everything that happened – she only wanted to keep him near her – she manages to destroy David’s brontosaurus. Even then, David insists that the day he spent with her was the best day of his life.

Shooting on ‘Bringing Up Baby’ began on the 23th of September 1937. It was the second collaboration between Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn after they had starred together in ‘Sylvia Scarlett’ a few years earlier. Howard Hawks – perhaps now best known for directing two of the Bogart-Bacall pictures - directed the picture. Katharine Hepburn had a hard time at first with the character she was playing – often trying to be ‘too funny’. Howard Hawks asked vaudeville veteran Walter Catlett to coach her and Kate was so impressed with him that she insisted he play Constable Slocum in the picture.  

Apparently, the search to find ‘Baby’ the leopard wasn’t easy. One leopard – which was supposed to be tame – attacked a woman who was playing with him and another one was useless after someone thought it would be a good idea to have a puma instead and decided to paint spots on the leopard – which didn’t want to come off after they had changed their minds. Eventually, eight-year-old Nissa was assigned to play Baby. Olga Celeste, the animal’s trainer, was always around with a whip in case of problems. Everyone was afraid of Nissa apart from – you guessed it – Katharine Hepburn. She would put on perfume – Nissa was a pushover for French perfume - to make the animal playful. Everything went fine until Kate put on a skirt lined with little metal pieces and the leopard made a lunge for her back. Luckily, Olga Celeste was around to save the day. Cary Grant never did hit it off with the leopard and a double was used in the scenes where he and Baby were supposed to be together. Once, Katharine Hepburn put a stuffed leopard through a vent in the top of his dressing room. ‘He was out of there like lightning’, she wrote in her autobiography ‘Me’. Of course, the movie stars another animal: George, aunt Elizabeth’s terrier. Skippy, George’s real name, was a big star as far as dogs go. He became famous by playing ‘Asta’ in the ‘Thin Man’ movies and was given the real star treatment (separate dressing rooms, vegetarian diet…). He went on the star in the ‘Awful Truth’ and of course ‘Bringing Up Baby’. At the time, training animals was very important because special effects weren’t yet what they are nowadays.

‘I went gay all of a sudden’ is probably one of the most-quoted lines from this movie. It is uttered by Cary Grant when Susan’s aunt asks him why he is wearing a negligee. Whether or not this use of the word ‘gay’ is the first time in movies that it refers to ‘homosexual’ remains a topic of debate. However, one of the subsequent lines ‘I’m sitting in the middle of 42nd street, waiting for a bus’ might very well indicate it was. At the time, 42nd street was the primary cruising strip for the city’s male prostitutes. Other instances of sexual innuendo are also quite obvious. After all, this is a movie about a man looking for his bone (‘it’s rare, it’s precious’) and a woman looking for her… well, leopard. Luckily for us, the people working at the Hays office didn’t see any problem. The only thing they objected to was showing Susan’s panties when David ripped off the back of her skirt.

For me, ‘Bringing Up Baby’ is the definitive screwball comedy. This genre was popular during the Great Depression until the early 1940s. ‘It Happened One Night’ starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert is often cited as the first true screwball comedy. The main elements are: a female lead who challenges or dominates the male lead, fast-paced talking, absurd situations and conflict in social classes. Ironically, these were the elements of the film that were often criticized at the time. I guess it’s safe to say that ‘Bringing Up Baby’ was ahead of its time and fortunately has now been given the praise it so rightly deserves. Over the years, filmmakers have been inspired by the movie and the 1972 film ‘What’s Up, Doc?’ starring Barbra Streisand was even a homage to ‘Bringing Up Baby’.

‘Bringing Up Baby’ will always by one of my favorite Katharine Hepburn pictures. It’s still as fresh and witty 80 years later. I know all the lines by heart and never get tired of watching it. If you haven’t seen it already, give it a chance, you definitely will not regret it. And my, what would I give to be a member of the Leopard gang!

This piece is part of the Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn blogathon hosted by ‘In the Good Old Days of Classic Hollywood’. Be sure to check out all of the amazing contributions here: https://crystalkalyana.wordpress.com/2017/07/20/announcing-the-spencer-tracy-katharine-hepburn-blogathon/

After all, we can never have enough Spencer and Kate in our lives!