#like i just have brainrot about my own cleric in general but then i think about whatever the FUCK would be going on w her and astarion

[rodimissliveblogs]

Gnawing on the dialogue option "I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador" because like. that is the inevitability of vampire lords! Fucking Strahd, who is the vampire lord, is a monstrous man who has near-complete control over all the people of Barovia and keeps them trapped within his domain, but he is also, just as literally, trapped there himself. He's spent 400 years pursuing the reincarnations of a woman who wants nothing to do with him, and if he does manage to turn her into a vampire spawn, he then just locks her up in the crypts beneath his castle and never bothers with her again. He's miserable and pathetic and is never going to be satisfied and is never, ever going to be free, either literally or figuratively. That is what comes of being a powerful vampire lord.

[illithussy]

tav q's! 1, 3, 4, 5, and 14!

thank you for asking!! i'm gonna do this for nedwyss since she's the one i'm playing as rn

1. Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision?

nedwyss is a cleric of lathander, light domain. she's a seldarine drow and goes by she/her. she was raised in the underdark, as most drow, but later left to join the clergy. i think her family were the stereotypical drow™, praising cruelty, ambition and competition. nedwyss was decent at playing pretend for that role for a while, but eventually decided she couldn't go on, and that's why she became a cleric of the morninglord. she's not a dark urge because i wanted to save that storyline for someone who wasn't made with the goal of being a tentacle enjoyer. nothing wrong with enjoying some tentacles, but y'know.

3. Has your Character been using their illithid powers?

in lore/headcanon? yes, she starts using them because she believes it's a way to go good. the source of the powers may suck, but she has them regardless, might as well use them to protect innocents. but i haven't really been using them in-game, mostly bc i haven't unlocked any truly fun ones yet.

4. Do you remember in which order you recruited your companions? Which companion introduction would have felt the most familiar / like home to your Tav / Character?

i don't recall the exact order, but it was probably something like shadowheart, gale, astarion, lae'zel, wyll, karlach. wyll is probably the companion she feels is most like her, they share the kindness and the desire to protect innocents, but lae'zel (and perhaps later shadowheart) reminded her of her childhood, the cruel and unforgiving society she was raised in. so wyll was "home" in a way that home is where your heart is, but lae'zel was home in a way her literal home was like.

5. Do you remember the first humanoid enemy your Character killed? Was it the first person they've ever killed, in your opinion? Would they have been bothered by it?

the forgotten realms wiki says goblins are humanoid, so the first one she killed was the bunch that attacked the grove when you first visit it. i don't think it was her first kill, but she definitely doesn't have a high count of souls she took at that point. killing that particular bunch didn't really upset her -- they attacked first, after all -- but she was bothered by having to slaughter the goblin camp, including the children. in nedwyss' mind, there is a difference between defending innocents from an attacker and going into someone's territory and becoming the attacker herself. so for her, it was no different from what the goblins attacking the grove did, and she felt awful, no matter how illogical that was.

14. Do you have another NPC you loved from a faction not mentioned above? What about your Character?

i mean we both know the answer don't we. of course it's the emperor/guardian. brainrot maximized. he's so friend shaped. i loved him because on my first playthrough i was playing as a clone of my character from another game and made the guardian look like her LI from that game. brainrot carryover y'know. he is incredibly fun on his own too, but i think it's that blorbo familiarity that led to me loving the guardian (and afterwards the emperor) so much. as for nedwyss, she shares my adoration because she was literally tailor made for empy romance shenanigans because the first time she saw the guardian was just after clearing out the goblin camp, and as i said, having to do that really upset her. his presence was comforting, reassuring, he was protecting her from turning into a mind flayer and generally was a kind, supportive person, he was exactly what she needed in that moment of distress. so she had a silly little crush that is going to turn into a corruption arc <3 i haven't decided yet whether i'll make a happy ending (or something as close to it as possible, considering the fucked upness of it all) for these two, partially because i'm not sure if that's a pussy move, partially because i actually don't know what happens in the "control the netherbrain, become the absolute" ending. we'll see.