#like i get they probably wouldn't afford it and all
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i wonder if akasaka maybe just grew to,,, not necessarily hate or dislike, but maybe,,, kind of resent his own story?
like, yes, he had the ending always planned that way and probably also just wrote himself into a corner due to that,,, but it partially feels like he didn't enjoy writing it as much as he did in the beginning. like he was just trying to get it over with?
obviously we don't know what is going on in his head, i could be wrong, but still,,,
I think Akasaka definitely just got kinda burned out on OnK and was just ready to move onto his next project, which is totes understandable. He's been grinding away at it weekly for four years at this point and god knows however much extra work its explosion into success would have landed him - I think folks outside of Japan don't really understand just how insane OnK's popularity is over there because it didn't really explode in the same way in the West (tho it obviously did very well) but OnK has become not just Popular For An Animanga Property but straightup part of mainstream media at this point which is crazyyyyy.
On top of all that, tbh, I wouldn't be surprised if he was feeling kinda salty that Renai Daikou, which he was probably enjoying writing, got axed and he had to rush it to a premature end. Not only that, but OnK was certainly... not axed necessarily but I think it's pretty obvious that Akasaka was probably told he had to wrap everything in XYZ amount of chapters to make room for other things in the magazine and to make sure all of OnK's main story could be fit into a four-season anime.
Obviously that doesn't explain or excuse all the issues with this ending, but the weekly manga industry is such a hellhole that I tend to give authors trying to make art within its confines a lot more grace than I might necessarily afford them lol
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Headcanon time!
In my head there is a specific reason the Beetles have that house in the show.
Is it because they're poor? That can play into the whole ordeal, of course, but it's not the main reason.
The main reason is they got scammed.
Picture: it is the late 1990s/ early 2000s, and unless you had someone you knew, moving from a whole continent to another wasn't that easy. You had to make plans for even years, search around agencies for a house, buy tickets and decide if you were gonna move ALL YOUR STUFF (aka, more time and money to spend) or if you were gonna buy the place empty and then decorate it from 0 (less expensive, but where the hell are you gonna sleep?).
By the way the house is furnished, I think they went for a mix: some stuff was already there, other stuff was imported, more stuff was bought.
But even if that was the case, it must've been really expensive for them to even just buy the house; you don't pay just for the house, but also for the agency (or agencies) that helped you get the place, the moving etc.
So, of course they wanted something cheap. I know they are played like stupid idiots, but come on, even an idiot can see how bad that place is! So, why don't they move? If they were able to afford a pool, why not a new house?
And here we go to the first point: they got scammed.
They got the house and trusted the agency about the whole procedure. Probably this agency showed them fake pics of another place to sell the thing. It happened a lot and still happens sometimes, unfortunately. So they might've thought they bought some other place for a good price, what a catch!
Of course the agency had them sign papers that wouldn't allow them to get their money back once they got the keys, or some other fishy clause to make sure they wouldn't be able to get out of that situation easily. They had to save their butts knowing they were in the wrong. Probably did something illegal regarding their documents, IDs etc.
So yeah, they move, arrive at the house and... it's shit.
Total shit.
And they can't opt out because they spent all their money for that place, the agency "mysteriously" disappeared, their documents are not all legal so they can't contact police or they might lose the house completely... and they were left with trying to make that place at least look as good as possible and as close to an inviting home for Wally and his future friends.
The end!
#world building#headcanon#knd#kids next door#beetles family#finally let this put ahhhhhh#now I'm gonna work on Charlie's questions!
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Are you still heterosexual life partners if you're married? Asking for a friend
#found this ancient picture from last year#also yes#it is unfinished#i had computer problems and was deleting files I didn't need while working on this and...#you know how the story goes#saw this in my phone gallery and my friend convinced me to post it#disco elysium#jean vicquemare#harry du bois#jeanharry#harryjean#i talk about cannibalism but man#i need them soft#and married#like i get they probably wouldn't afford it and all#but like#let me be delusional#i say this as my biggest hc is that revachol doesn't allow same sex marriage#why?#cuz my country does that#anyway#my art
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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.
This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.
[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]
For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.
Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.
Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]
Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!
Sam's Part
I was a ten-year train wreck
Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.
In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."
I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.
It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.
With a last-call longneck
Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.
I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad
This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.
I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)
Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back
This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.
If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.
Not your fault, I was scared to fall
This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.
Darlin's Part
You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back
We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.
"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
They scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."
They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."
In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
They think about dead stars.
They think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.
"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.
Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers
'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)
[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]
Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined
Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.
The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.
Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to
These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.
I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.
"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."
Equally Applicable Lines
And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break
Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.
(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.
But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)
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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]
#redacted audio#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted playlists#redacted asmr#redactedverse#music stuff#Spotify#Seven's Blorbo Songs#<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more#gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em#good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours#don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good#there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are#i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system#i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs#or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post#anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog#about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time#and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another#(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways#anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes#but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal
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"Oh we're an indie company doing a new form the ttrpg meant to be an evolution of dnd 5e"
Yeah so unfortunately you evolved into using their same business model of $30 for a fucking pdf
#girlbob.txt#i know i know it's hard work to make an entire system and stuff but like it's 30 usd and that's only the player handbook#it's like. 85 total for all the gameplay stuff#and then there's a bundle for 95 that includes stuff i wouldn't want#but also is the only affordable way to get the $15 oneshot collection and the $25 adventure so like#this is all just pdfs. these are downloadables. they come in fucking zip files probably
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You know now that Daniel Craig is finally free from Bond and has shown to the general public that he can play more than just an action hero with Bneoit Blanc I just hope we get to see more of these artsy emotional dramas he clearly wanted to do more of earlier in his career before he became Bond. If he still wants to do them that is. Tbh I just want him to act in whatever he wants and has fun in but he has such an amazing range, like he could literally play anything, and he was drawn to more emotional hitting roles than just action heroes before so I would love to see him in a very emotional drama or somethong else completely left field idk
#daniel craig#don't mind me I'm drunk I'm just thinking about more dc films because I NEED them#and yes I know he just did Glass Onion and Queer is next up in filming and that that will be probably more of a gay drama#and I love that#but I just want even more of emotional hitting stiff#*stuff#cause he is such a damn incredible and amazing performer he would smash whatever part he get into the park#butI'm a sucker for highly emotional movies so I NEED even more of them with him in it#also wouldn't mind if he did theatre again (as long as it's in London this time caise that's where my German ass can afford to go to)#like to all the people who have seen him do theatre shows live how does it feel to have lived my dream?#enough rambling now sorry#mystuff
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Tell the truth comic fans challenge. When's the last time you read a comic and how many have you actually read?
P.S. This isn't me being gatekeepy btw I'm being genuine because I'm gonna be honest I've probably only actually read about five series and every thing else I've gotten from movies/series, online, or fanon. I know all the important events. Have I actually read them? No because my ADHD just wouldn't. And I can't be assed having to read important events if it's in a shit run by a bad writer.
#Also ngl I was determined to read from the very start but. I would not have the time for that in any life so lmao#I have read quite a few of the early Batman comics and do actually hope to read as many of his as possible#But I have not actually sat and read all of the Batfam origins yet tho I intend to#I know them all and I've seen the panels just never actually sat down and gone through it all#I also have read a lot of the Golden Era Batman and Superman team up comics where they basically act like parents#Taking Dick out on family day trips. It's a fun read tbh#And back when I was a early teen and couldn't afford comics I watched YouTuber who would read them for you and tell you about them/show you#So I've read half of Batman Eternal from that but he stopped uploading vids about it which made me really sad lmao#So I need to get around to reading the rest myself/rereading it because it's been a while#I think I liked the story but wouldn't canonise it in my mind#I also read a bit of Suicide Sqaud that way I think? So that too#I totally don't pirate read Injustice#I like it but I think some of it is iffy. But that's the case with comics in general#Batman: Wayne Family Adventures is the only I actually keep up with#Probably because it's more accessible but also because it's the kind of comic I've wanted about the Batfam for ages#There's room for improvement and I would like to see how one similar to that style would be made like. In the fully canon mainstream comics#Because I'm aware it's very fanon/fan servicey but honesty after all the DC chaos we deserve it. But I would like to see more family#Urban Legends is really good. But Idk. I'm very particular about my vision lmao#Let me be a writer is what I'm saving. Or make a competant TV show *Glares at Titans*#Titans is good but God do they fucking butcher Jason and Bruce. I am sick of DC TV and film adaptions doing the Batfam dirty#Like. The animated movies#Tim just is never a thing ever. Why#Titans does have him and I like that. But I haven't watched that season ngl because I don't like how they write Bruce#Like. He doesn't. Look for cjild soldiers bruh. I'm disappointed with Titans because they coulda done so well#But Bruce is far too old and they made Dick almost murderous with him and they fucked up Jason. I haven't seen Tim's-#-Characterisation yet but I'm scared to at this point#Alfred must be fucking dead because he would be SO OLD if Bruce is already like 60 bruh. No offence to the actor but yeah.#Chella Man is the best thing about the show. Tbf I adore the cast other than Bruce. But everyone is just so OOC and it doesn't-#Stick to the comics at all#Idk it just. Isn't it lmao
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Feeling a little bummed (read: succumbing to existential despair) abt the fact that I haven't had time or energy to work on my comic art or script editing and if current trends continue I won't have either of those things for the forseeable future either but. I did manage to update my spreadsheet
#wastepaper basket#Feeling increasingly trapped in my own life between work and my living situation and all I rly want to do is take the next 3 months off#to work on this which I could theoretically afford with part time work but my mum would not allow me to do that despite me being almost#fucking 30 and I definitely wouldn't be able to afford my own place if I did so like it seems like I have to choose to get out of one or the#other but not both. Unless I can find another job doing remote work or something which is also stressful bc it's freelancing which means#having to constantly job hop once the contract ends would probably also mean no time for personal work so like!!! How do I win!!!!
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will zero finally go back to school... stay tuned and find out
#not to keep using this blog as a diary but ANYWAYS#so got confirmation i'm basically in the middle exit phase so my last day will probably be in mid-december#which is actually really good timing all things considered#so i can either plan to get a new job at the beginning of the new year OR think about going back to school#starting during spring is kind of awkward so unless I find a really good situation i'd probably go for fall of 2024#tuition is obviously something i have to think hard about since i'm also balancing a mortgage... but the benefit of me doing nothing but#work my ass off for the last 4 years is that i do have the money saved. like unless i go to a super prestigious school i can most likely#afford it on my own. ofc the question is am i willing to spend it all for a degree that might not even be of any benefit to me. who knows#i also don't even know what i'd go back for. it wouldn't be pure CS but probably something adjacent or bio-related#another reason I want to go back to school is honestly for social reasons. networking and finding new friends#i'm not the most outgoing person but in an academic environment i was infinitely better at socializing than I am now lmao#and sharing classes with folks will definitely help. i'd definitely pick up TAing again as well if possible#i also talked with my manager a bit about this and he was also like yeah at your age and situation now is actually a really good time#anyways. we shall see#0.txt
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vent iii.
#yeah i could just make a 'read more' post but tags are better for me#more hiding#anyway#i have this problem where my sister is probably moving out next year but she can't rly do that without me bc her dog has issues#and i would have to take him out and feed all the animals while she's at work during the day bc nobody else can#but even with that being taken into account she would still charge me over double what i'm paying now for rent and i cannot afford that#and she says i'd have to get a job too but excuse me how am i supposed to work when i also have to be home to look after your animals??#barn job would be nice bc short hours but it also wouldn't be enough to pay what she'd charge me#so i'm screwed there#anyway i WISH i could make enough money to live on my own but i CAN'T#ik i probably sound very lazy and spoiled and i get that i am definitely priviliged to get to live at home for cheap rent#but it also fucks with my mental health so bad living here. and i want to live on my own but it's just not an option rn#i have dreams and they're such basic sad dreams that i still don't think i'll ever accomplish#like i want to live in my own small travel trailer. that's all. my own space. or a tiny falling apart cabin that i can fix up#that's all i want and it seems impossible for me#i'm not built to live in this world. my body and mind cannot take it. i have tried. i've tried so hard#honestly if i had to work full time again i don't think i'd actually be able to stay alive to benefit from it. it would burn me out too bad#there's no win for me#i'm still trying to figure something out but i'm honestly not hopefull at all
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>grow up among the working poor in a politically tumultuous subterranean society
>engage in interdimensional shenanigans
>get teleported to a grand ball in a lustrous, thriving kingdom from another world
>fancy time.
#inspired loosely by fashion from the Regency era#Sterling's trauma traincar stole the heart from my chest. but god damn did we serve#traditional art#pencil#digital art#autodesk sketchbook#dnd#somewhere between#ocs#ilamine#character design#Ilamine tried her hardest to make money in her home city. she really did. but even if they gave her money the wealthy still imidate her#scare her even#hence her avoiding direct interaction with them. like she wouldn't go out of her way to talk to one (...and probably get spat on)#esp when they already ignore her existence for the most part#what am I saying. anyways my point is Ilamine has never had much money at all. she could never in her lifetime afford a dress like this#but the interdimensional warp decided ''you're going to dress the most extravagantly you ever have and ever will''#january 19
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why the fuck do vaccines cost so much
#I hate thissssss#I'm uninsured I can't afford all the vaccines I missed and a physical checkup along with it#Pardon me for ranting in my own tags for a moment but#I fucking knew my parents wouldn't deal with shit once I turned 18 regardless of how much I had asked for it beforehand#dentist appointments/vaccinations/physical checkups that they SHOULD have been scheduling but stopped doing when I was 13 or sooner#Like to an extent I can understand it because we were struggling but I was still a kid in their care and needed that stuff#and trying to handle /how/ to set up appointments or even finding out where is frustrating (looking at the checkup one for this)#Especially because it feels like stuff I should already know how to do since I'm 19 next month#I'm already well aware enough of how I fall short of general life experience for my age so it's just ( ._. )#At least I know where to get vaccines at due to some help and the internet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#Ughhh anyways I'll probably delete this it's just been sitting on my chest for a while
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#i am BEYOND pissed at my coworkers for coming into work super sick and not taking ANY precautions#two of them were so sick last weekend that i just KNEW i wouldn't be able to avoid catching something#and here i am! riddled with illness!#i have been writhing in pain for DAYS#about 90% sure i've got covid#my partner is picking up a rapid test kit on his way home bc we had run out and forgot to restock#i am just fucking FURIOUS that the people i work with are so careless!!!!#my one coworker had to sit out half her shift bc she needed to keep ice on her head for her fucking fever!#and management looks down on people calling in sick#so they sure as shit rarely send people home for being sick#i'm lucky i had booked a few days off after a minor medical procedure i had on monday#otherwise i would've been anxious as shit about calling in#as it is i am supposed to go back to work on saturday and i am genuinely concerned i won't be able to#and saturdays are our busiest days#so fml if i have to try to call in#i could also barely afford to take time off for my procedure but it was necessary#i just can't afford to miss more work i seriously can't i'm barely going to make rent this month#and stressing about that is probably not gonna help me get better 🙃#i just feel like crying but i keep stifling it because crying rn exacerbates all my symptoms to an unmanageable level#and this already feels stupid levels of unmanageable#personal
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things the watcher guys could do that aren't CREATING A WHOLE ASS NEW STREAMING SERVICE THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED:
put seasons of their shows out on DVDs. bonus if you can add behind the scenes content or even commentary that would then only exist on those dvds, so people have more reason to buy (leave the originals up as they are, though).
put their shows on already existing streaming services, preferably ones that are already popular rather than really niche ones, though I do understand that maybe getting your stuff on a popular streaming service is harder than on a less popular one so i wouldn't flame them for that.
idk sell more and better merch? like I've looked at their merch before and none of it seemed all that nice to me even though I am an impulse buyer and always wanted everything by the people I'm a fan of (you wouldnt believe the amount of clothes i have that are straight up youtuber merch. we're talking more than 2/3rds of my wardrobe). probably would have actually bought some of watcher's merch if it was better. the only thing I was ever tempted to buy was the professor plushie.
also lowering the price of good merch even marginally (without making it not-profitable) = more people can afford it = you earn more.
create a new show that isn't already available for free and put that on your patreon or something. give your viewers who can afford it a better reason to pay you.
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My Lovely Melody
Yandere!Rockstar x GN!Reader
CW: yandere is a playboy before he meets reader, suggestive (creepy) thoughts, minor obsessive behaviour
🎸 Axel's been in many relationships with both men and women alike, but all of his little flings felt nothing more than that, just flings.
🎸 And he was content with it, I mean being a famous rockstar meant lots of people wanting a chance with you and he indulged in that fact.
🎸 He could sleep with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and he wouldn't have to deal with the commitment that comes with dating or any of that messy stuff.
🎸 So why the hell can't stop thinking about you ?!?!?!!
🎸 He scratched his head trying to make sense of it, his messy hair getting even more ruffled as he tries to get the image of your smile out of his head.
🎸 You were in a miscellaneous store full of alt clothing, trinkets and various other stuff when he walked in with his bandmates.
🎸 It was fairly normal when he came in the store. It was dim with some random punk song playing faintly in the background. His friends started exploring, looking at the graphic t-shirts and mugs shaped like skulls and the like.
🎸 He got a bit bored and wandered to the other side of the store. It had posters, candles and..who's that?
🎸 There you were, staring longingly at a plush toy sitting on one of the shelves, just standing there.
🎸 He didn't think much of it, probably just some person baked out of their mind. "Hey buddy, you doin' good?"
🎸 You snap out of your gaze and look at the big hulking man in front of you. You stutter out an apology and explain your little misfortune.
🎸 "So you want this..toy...but you can't afford it..?" He raises a brow at you as you nod, making him chuckle.
🎸 He thought for a moment, looking at the stuffed creature, well it wouldn't hurt to buy it for you, he's pretty well off from all the gigs and concerts he's been in so...
🎸 "How 'bout I buy this thing for ya then? But you owe me~" He winks, thinking he could score some quick sex for being such a 'gentleman'
🎸 But no, instead of a blush or a knowing smirk, you just looked at him with the widest, most innocent eyes he's ever seen, you were practically shaking with joy as he said it.
🎸 You thanked him profusely before listing off things you could do in return, treating him to some food, buying something for him in return, plain paying him back..he was a bit surprised.
🎸 "O-oh...uhm that was a joke heheh, y-you don't have to do all that babe..." He blushes.
🎸 The two of you head to the cashier, his friends spying from behind the aisles as his gaze is locked on the little ball of cuteness beside him.
🎸 Seriously? Did you even know who he was? This has never happened before...most of the time, he would pay for someone's drink or something and they'd be on his dick in seconds, but you, you were so..different...it felt nice..
🎸 You didn't even get it in a bag, you immediately took the plush after it was paid and hugged it close.
🎸 so cute so cute so cute so cute so cute!!!
🎸 "Hey uh..so me and my buds are in a band and uhm..wanna maybe..watch our next gig?" He asks nervously, he's never been so shy towards anyone!!
🎸 You agree, thinking it's the least you could do for what he did for you.
🎸 You take out your phone, Axel can't help but grin at the case, it was cute, like you~..
🎸 "Here's my number if..you need it.." You smile at him, that smile..that damn cute smile...you had his heart wrapped around your finger at this point.
🎸 "Th-thanks sugar..I'll see you there.." He smiles back as you part ways, he heads back to his friends who were bombarding him with questions as he watches you skip out of the store with your new little soft friend.
🎸 That night, he was getting ready for the show when he got a message notification and sees that you sent a picture of the show from one of the seats with some text "Good luck out there!"
🎸 His face was on fire as he realized you were there, he peeks out in the crowd and there you were, your little plush toy in tow.
🎸 You look so out of place from the people in spiky jewelry and dark outfits, you were just in a hoodie and baggy pants, albeit the hoodie had a MCR design on it, but you can tell it was very soft compared to the rest of the audience.
🎸 Finally it was time for the show to begin and it was the most passionate he's been in a while, it seemed as if the words he was singing were dedicated to you and you alone.
🎸 The little glances at you made you giddy, like a friend seeing their bestie perform, you were cheering excitedly for him, not in a fangirly way, but one of genuine support and amazement.
🎸 After the performance, Axel tried finding you, but the crowd was too big and he assumed you must have left already.
🎸 Wait..why is he being so buddy buddy with you? You just met today! It's not like you two were best friends or anything!
🎸 He tried dismissing the thought of you, tried distracting himself by flirting with other people, but he could only think about you, and making you smile like that again..
🎸 no no no! get out of my head!
🎸 Maybe a little fling can ease his mind?
🎸 Even on his bed with some random girl after show, he can still think of you.
🎸 Would your skin be as soft? or maybe softer? How would your hair smell? He bets your moans would sound delicious..
🎸 shit FUCK!!
🎸 Even after his one night stand, he kept thinking of you
🎸 He stares at your messages, you sent a lot of pictures of your plush toy doing goofy things to him, so cute..so silly...he can't help but smile.
🎸 He decides to look you up on social media and..
🎸 Wait a minute...you make music too?
yep this was a bit short but idk man i love making you guys suffer <3 stay tuned for part 2 (i am actually out of ideas guys please request me please please ple-)
#yandere#yandere x reader#male yandere#oc yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere oc#yandere male#tw yandere#yandere x male reader#x reader#rockstar x reader#x gn reader#gn reader#oc x reader#yandere x you#opossumdoodles
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anyway, since im in financial aid hell with my school rn....
simon riley who really is only an acquaintance to you, some guy you're friendly with because you seem to have a similar routine when it comes to the cafe two blocks from your house and the physical therapist office you both attend.
simon, who's on extended medical leave from a torn rotator cuff surgery and six weeks into twelve of his own physical therapy treatment.
simon who overhears you with a friend in the cafe one morning venting your frustrations with the cost of school and the limits of your own finances. who doesn't mention it until you're both in the waiting room, sitting with one chair between you as usual (he's a big guy, he likes the space to spread his legs. he pretends he hasn't seen your glances).
"going back to school, then?" he asks, quiet and gruff as always.
you wrinkle your nose at the reminder of your current stresses. "yeah," you say, staring down at the carpet. "dunno if i can afford it, though. rent's already so high, and groceries, and then this..." you gesture vaguely, but he knows you mean whatever condition it is you're here for is bleeding you dry.
"shame," he says, and leaves it at that.
"what do you do?" you ask after a long moment of silence. a muscle in his thigh twitches.
"military," he says, meeting your eye when you finally look at him.
you nod, a puzzle piece sliding into place about why he must be here in this office with you. "ah."
"benefits aren't bad," he says, quietly. "medical's paying for all o' this." he nods around the room, a much more leisurely mirror of your earlier hand gesture.
"i should hope so, considering they probably put you where you got whatever it is you're here for." the corner of your mouth lifts in a wry smile.
the conversation stops there when one of you is called in to your appointment. simon doesn't bring it up again, not until something changes.
you run into each other at a bar.
simon's got a beer in hand, something cold and refreshing while he catches up with soap and gaz in the corner. they're on a brief leave and stopped by to visit for an evening before fucking off for a week to wherever it is they have plans to be. simon won't ever say it in as many words, not right now, but he's glad to see them, happy to listen to whatever story they're telling him, until he sees you.
he downs the beer for an excuse to go get another, waving off the two men who offer to go get it when he says "need to stretch my legs," eyes fixed on you the whole time.
"celebratin'?" he asks when he slides into an empty space beside you at the counter, catching the bartender's attention for a refill with a lazy raise of his empty bottle.
"simon," you greet in surprise. he nods at your drink and your slight smile slides away. "not really," you reply to his question. "more like drowning my sorrows. i don't think school's gonna happen this time."
simon frowns, eyes scanning you up and down. your drooped, sad shoulders, the sad, slightly bitter smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
"you know," he says, slowly, as if hesitant. normally wouldn't even dare to think it if he hadn't had just enough to drink. "there's plenty scholarships for military spouses."
it's a wonder he can keep a straight face at the shocked raise of your eyebrows.
#IDKKKK IM JUST AAAA#school hasnt even started and im STRESSIN!#sugar daddy for mage when??#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#x reader#gn!reader#did not edit did not think just blarfed into tumblr text post box vent style#simon ghost x you#cod ghost x reader
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