#like i feel like the funny term built different but in a shittyway where i’m basically an alien who doesn’t know how to interact w ppl
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i am a wretched little unlovable creature and a clown for every time i try to pretend i’m not<3
#could be rsd beating me into the next week rn idk but haha what’s up#i’m just so boring and yea i’m funny and have some interesting anecdotes i guess but. the shine wears off#and i can always feel ppl lose interest and haha hahaha hahahahahahahaha#but maybe im just paranoid and crazy and idk#idk but i want to isolate again but i know i’ll go insane if i do but i also can’t stand being the one who like…#idk i feel like i’m just forcing ppl to acknowledge me and pulling teeth#by like kicking a dead horse of friendship like haha look it’s me I exist and we’re Friends right#and I start to panic and not know how to get ppl to still like me and not know how to talk to them anymore and#but then this whole post and things like realizing I’m so fucking boring and incoherent and apologizing is like… wild!#like idk it’s wild to be like haha so hi ah but shit sorry for talking#but it’s the ye olde rsd i guess and fear of being annoying and I know not too long ago i realized like idk so what if I’m annoying but#jk we’re going to take 1 step forward 2 steps back in self growth ig idk I’m just sad and alone and scared#like i feel like the funny term built different but in a shittyway where i’m basically an alien who doesn’t know how to interact w ppl#haha yeah haha aunaxincsincsinschihixahixa fuck idk 4am insane lonely hours#i’m sorry ugh this feels like a guilt trip of a post but that’s not the intent I’m kinda just panicking a little and breaking my own heart#god i hate feeling things haha hahahahahahaahah idk#there’s only a couple ppl who follow me who I’d consider something like close friends or . something. who might see this anyway and uh#if ur reading this and u consider us friends haha hi and sorry and fuck and hhhhhhhhhhh idk i’ll probably be fine at not 4am and normal and#i need to go back to bed or watch some fuckin naruto and maybe I’ll calm down<3
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