#like i don't like to air my dirty laundry out on a semipublic platform | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pochapal · 1 year

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trying not to start #discourse over here BUT it needs to be said that i am fascinated by the depths of the average tumblr user's addiction to suffering. go into the notes of any semi-viral positivity/mental health post and it's literally crawling with people going "nice sentiment but it's meaningless against capitalism/trauma/disability/systemic cruelty/the Horrors so fuck you for peddling this delusional bullshit". like yeah bitch the Horrors *are* inescapable! why does that mean you have to be miserable 24/7 about it though??

#:)#been thinking about the chronic impact tumblr dot com's doctrine that happiness is incompatible with hardship had on me #like i don't like to air my dirty laundry out on a semipublic platform #but i think it's pretty evident that i'm a phase of my life where i'm dragging myself up out of rock bottom circumstances #and like even though i am determined to have good things that doesn't make the good things appear any faster #but the more i'm gaining that determined perspective and the more i'm changing as a result #the more i'm seeing that a lot of the last few years was fucked up by the way i denied myself happiness #just because i was surrounded by Horrors even though you can still fully find/create happiness even in hell lmao #and i'm fairly sure this is something that was imprinted on me by this website during my teenage years #so even when there were moments of joy amid my suffering i like. refused to let them exist?#which paradoxically Worsened my existing problems by making me hardcore isolated and defeatist #like no doing things i wanted to and not being lonely and having nice things would not have fixed the horrors #but also the two things can and should coexist lol #and this should be an obvious truth!#but so many people here are bitter weirdos who think being in bad circumstances mean they've forfeited the right to joy #idk man now i'm coming out the other side of it i'm really seeing how Weird this is as a principled mindset

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