#like i do see the point of some takes saying that stalyan was also in a bad situation with her dad

[whiskyarts]

any thoughts about eugene/lance and the stabbingtons (and maybe stalyan?) when they were younger…….ur stabbingtons content intetests me im curious about how you’d interpret that dynamic….i would also just LOVE to see how u draw lance im so desperate for content of him and i think hed look so good in ur style 😭

Oh my god I'm so totally normal about them ALL. So sorry if this reply is really long lmao

I'll be honest, I Did Not Give A Shit about the Stabbingtons as anything more than a plot device to make Eugene's life harder until a friend said "Sideburns Stabbington trans" and that perfectly lines up with my philosophy that "the only people with sideburns are transmascs and JSchlatt" (/j) which made me actually think about them more, lol. THEN, I read the Lost Legends book, The Rise of Flynn Rider and y'all it was all over for me after that. The Stabbingtons are carnies that worked at The Baron's circus, and like, my love for anything clown, circus, and carnival related grabbed my by the fuckin throat and there was no coming back from that one sjsskssk

So most of my HCs about the group come from that book specifically, which takes place when Eugene is 12 (almost 13) years old! Lance is the same age, and the Stabbies are "a little bit older".

Without going into a synopsis of the whole book and trying to stay on topic, Lance and Eugene met the Stabbingtons after joining The Baron's traveling circus. They also met Stalyan during that time, and Eugene specifically described her as "the only girl he'd ever met who wore pants" lol

And with that, here's some HCs lol

Despite Lance and Eugene being super close, I don't think they were all ever friends, moreso just working for the same people and working together when it was convenient outside of that. (ie, they all worked for The Baron at some point, but in the movie Eugene works with the Stabbies outside of that)

Sometime in their teen years, the guys all tried stuff together, like, "experimenting" with their sexualities for lack of a better term. Horny teens, lol.

Lance and Eugene dated for a while at some point, but eventually realized they weren't really into each other romantically or sexually, and would rather just be friends!

The Stabbingtons are 100% the type of guys that would do some gay shit, then call Eugene or Lance a slur for doing the exact same thing (wow, they're gay AND homophobic! /j)

Stalyan and Eugene dated on and off for YEARS like that one prep/jock couple from highschool that you never know when they're together or not because one of them will talk about marriage while the other says they're "taking a break"

I'm too eepy to be more coherent and this post is already so long but I have so many thoughts about The Rise of Flynn Rider, and the Stabbingtons specifically dskjfhdjksf like how the book straight up tells us how Eugene's mom died, and gives us small stuff that I'm latching onto so hard like where Lance got the name Lance Strongbow, and part of why Patchy doesn't talk, and that he likes the color green dfgdfgf

(also i prommy i'll draw lance just for u)

[kingreywrites]

in what ways do you think stalyan abused eugene?

My exact words were that some of her behaviours "evoke" abuse, and I'm saying it again because it's important to see that none of what i'm gonna say is an irrefutable interpretation. I, with my personal experiences in mind, see a lot of... bad things when I look at the relationship Stalyan and Eugene seem to have in BTCW but it's not like, outright canon 

That said, here are some stuff that makes me think of abuse: 

- when we're first introduced to her, one of the first thing she does is slap Eugene, but not because she's especially angry - she just. does it, and he doesn't even say anything about it. And just after, when he starts to babble about leaving her at the altar, she just has to say "stop talking", and he immediately stops. I feel like, more than anything, Eugene's difficulty to fight back with his words when he's never been shy about annoying the people who hate him before, was always the first thing that I felt was worrying 

- not necessarily about Eugene and Stalyan specifically but she very clearly doesn't mind that Lance could die painfully. She's shown multiple times looking at him before smirking, and it might have been her dad's idea, but she's clearly comfortable with it. When Eugene nearly begs her for an antidote, she makes once again her little speech about being meant for each other, and when Rapunzel & co crash the wedding, she still doesn't consider giving up. She was straight up ready to kill someone she most probably worked with to guilt Eugene into marrying her, and that's? fucked up? like her character is straight up cruel in BTCW, which does not help interpret her other actions in a good light 

- speaking of that the whole thing about them being meant for each other... and how she knows Eugene, better than he does so he should listen to her... that's emotional manipulation 😬 And the thing is, she keeps insisting on how he's still a bad person deep inside, again and again until he starts to believe her, which is... I mean I really think it evokes abusive situations because the idea is to make him feel like the only person that will welcome him, no matter what, is her, and that everyone else will hate him - for good reason, because he is someone terrible, or at least that's what she wants to make him think 

- btw the line "I know what's best for you Rider, I always have" implies clearly that this dynamic isn't new. And like... it definitely sounds like something an abuser would say to me 

- that also ties into refusing to call him by his chosen name. Since she "knows best", she decides that he's Flynn, and it's not really because she thinks he hasn't changed at all, but because that's who she wants him to be, that's the identity she wants him to assume again. She's not stupid, she sees that he's not willing to marry her, but she's definitely ready to do whatever it takes to make him into the person she wants him to be 

- okay last one but I think that's the one that really touches me personally: when she hands him the key to free himself. Because the thing is, by doing that, she makes it his choice to stay there to marry her, he could very well escape but since he doesn't, then he must see that this is the only logical explanation. Except that he's not actually free to go, he's not going to leave Lance to die here - honestly... how many abuse victims have been told they could have just left, that it was their choice to stay? Like ofc my interpretation =/= absolute truth, but I was really hit by this when I first watched, because a lot of time abuse victim are blamed for not leaving, even though the "choice" they had wasn't really one

I'm not saying the two situations are the same, but like, think of Rapunzel in her tower: technically, she could have left the tower when she wanted. But she couldn't, because Gothel's abuse and manipulation effectively robbed her of that choice by making her believe that going outside would not only get her hurt but would also destroy the relationship she was entirely dependent on. Saying that she chose to stay would be ignoring all the emotional manipulation that made it impossible for so long, and would erase the incredible bravery she had needed to go outside anyway

To come back to Stalyan and Eugene, yes it's not the same, but the imagery of being given the keys to his own cell, and given the choice to leave even though it wasn't a choice at all in the end, definitely made me think of these kinds of abusive situations 

Once again I don't think there's only one way to interpret Stalyan, especially since The Eye of Pincosta retconned a lot of what we saw in BTCW to make her sympathetic. It's just that, when you only take BTCW, it always painted a pretty grim picture of what their relationship had been, and imo, clearly made it look like an abusive situation.

[tangledgal]

Lance Strongbow Appreciation Week: Bonding with Rapunzel.

I’ve said it before; I’ll say it again: No Time Like The Past - time travel + Rapunzel and Lance bonding + new dream agreeing to disagree on Cass = potentially perfect episode.

The original draft I made was in bullet points, but to write in long, boring essay form:

(doing this in 3rd person because extraterrestrial aliens could write dialogue better than I)

Rapunzel starts the day like she always does: early and ready to get things done. She gets distracted when Lady Crowley appears to have moved all of Cass’s things out of her bedroom. Rapunzel protests against this and an annoyed Lady Crowley tells her to put her things back herself if she’s that insistent.

Eugene is hesitant to help (and Lance is just being goofy Lance) while Rapunzel reminisces over Cass’s old treasures. Eugene suggests that Rapunzel just let Cass go. Rapunzel responds insistently that friends don’t leave friends behind and Eugene sternly replies that Cass was the one who left her behind. Lance awkwardly finds himself in the middle of their exchange as Rapunzel solemnly takes a crate of Cass’s things up to her room.

(alternative episode: go!)

Rapunzel mopes in her room, looking through Cass’s treasures, remembering their good times together. As the minutes tick by, Rapunzel hears a knock at her door. It’s Lance. Rapunzel reluctantly lets Lance in and it appears that he’s brought some treats from Atilla & Monty’s bakery and some drinks with him. After offering some pastries, he tries to lighten the mood by cracking a few jokes with Rapunzel, but nothing seems to boost her mood. He then tells her some stories about him and Eugene as young thieves.

He shares his tales about them in the biggest and grandest fashion he can muster. Stories like their first big hiest with the Stabbingtons, beyond terrifying introduction to the Baron, daring escape from Eugene’s (almost) wedding with Stalyan, bizarre adventures in the circus and, reluctantly, a tragic incident regarding a broken window. Rapunzel listens in awe, engaged in all these fascinating adventures until the brink of dusk.

Through all these stories, Lance explains that Eugene has learned to be incredibly cautious of people, especially of “friends” who’ve betrayed him. Through a life of constantly being on the run and having to leave anyone or anything behind when necessary, it only makes sense for Eugene to be weary of Cass after her betrayal. Rapunzel rebuttals with the fact that Lance not only betrayed Eugene, but her as well. (The Return of Strongbow) However, since then, he’s only changed for the better and has been nothing but sweet and loving to all his friends and the citizens of Corona. Lance can only suggest that she go talk with Eugene and settle things out.

As Rapunzel goes to put Cass’s crate of treasures back, she’s surprised to see the room almost fully refurnished, with a perplexed Eugene trying to decide where to put Cass’s various trinkets. Eugene admits that he shouldn’t have been so harsh, but also states that he may not be able to forgive Cass after what she did to all of them, especially Rapunzel. However, he recalls his promise to be patient with her and at least make Cass’s room presentable if she ever decides to come back. Rapunzel apologizes for her dismissal to Eugene’s point of view and, thanks to Lance, can now understand where he’s coming from.

The three of them finish up furnishing the room by nightfall. Rapunzel and Eugene agree to disagree over their lost friend and finally make up. Lance finishes off the rest of his drink, knowing that he’s successfully prevented a potential crisis.

(Play Natasha Bedingfield’s “More of Me.”)

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Day of the Animals

While perhaps not my favorite episode this season, Day of the Animals is easily the best written story of season three. Even so, it still has problems due to the third season’s poor approach to characterization. 

Summary: Rapunzel, Varian, Angry and Red are returning stolen loot that the two girls had stolen years ago. They are accompanied by Max, Pascal, Ruddiger and Hamuel who all cannot stop quarreling with each other (or in Hamuel's case, just being useless). While messing with a sea shell pendant, it magically transports the humans into it, leaving the animals to fight over it. A minor thug named Dwayne, steals the pendant forcing the animals to work together to retrieve it. 

So Why is a Polynesian Inspired Kingdom Within Riding Distance of a Northern European Country? 

If you’ll remember my review of Beginnings, Neserdina’s princesses were wearing Polynesian garb and dancing the Hula when prepping for the competition. Now I’ve already went into length as to why that’s not good representation, but in addition to that it’s also just plain dumb. You can’t just transport one ethic group and dump them into another part of the world because it’s convenient for you. You don’t earn any brownie points for doing that. Especially when your fantasy world is still based off of our own historical earth. 

To make things even more confusing, we actually saw Neserdina way back in season one in Way of the Willow. It’s where Willow bought the gremlin knock-off. 

That is an island. How the heck do you get to a volcanic island riding in a horse and cart? And don't tell me they’re riding to a port, because Corona is a port city already. They could have gotten there by boat. It’s also can’t be too far away from Corona’s borders if Angry and Red were able to get there on foot during their year long travels. 

The only explanation is that the entirety of the Tangled crew doesn’t understand geography, and this won’t be the last example in the show to back up that statement. 

So Why Is Rapunzel Here?

We get explanations for why everyone is on this road trip, except for the main character herself. Red and Angry are trying to return some stolen loot. Varian is wanting to pick up rare alchemy supplies at the market and was invited along because Raps hopes it’ll be a chance for Ruddiger and Max to get know one another better. 

But why on earth does Rapunzel feel the need to come on this trip herself? Doesn’t she have a kingdom to run? While I’m sure Eugene is more than capable of handling things, this doesn’t reflect well upon the writers supposed plan of making Rapunzel appear more responsible. 

Literally any other adult could have come along on this trip. This wasn’t something Rapunzel needed to waste time on. Lance especially would have been more appropriate here as he’s the one who’s suppose to eventually adopt Angry and Red.  And the sad thing is, all they had to do was give Rapunzel a line about needing to attend some sort of diplomatic business in Neserdina. That’s it. 

In a show that’s supposed to be all about Rapunzel; Rapunzel sure doesn’t have a whole lot of reasons to exist in the majority of the episodes. 

Lack of Worldbuilding Strikes Again

At this point I’m kind of numb to the whole “magical thing just exists for no adequately explained reason” and so I’m not as upset as some people are about the shell necklace. But it’s still not good writing. 

Why does this thing exist? How did come to be cursed? How did it get mixed in with their stuff? What activated the magic and why did it only effect the human’s even though the animals were closer to it? 

Just something show. Anything. You bothered to give use rules for how this thing works and even stuck to them this time, but you can’t just make the last leg of the trip and give us some exposition? 

Yeah, okay. 

So Where Exactly Are We in Relation to Corona?

We can see Pittsford and Ivangarr on the road sign and we have to be in riding distance to Neserdina from Corona, but like are we in Corona still? Are we in Koto, which is Corona’s nearest neighbor to the east according to season three. Are we in some no-man’s-land where none of the kingdoms have control, or are we already in Neserdina itself? 

The series gives us no sense of direction nor any firm placement for Corona within it’s world. I only know it is a Northern European country because Corona itself is a peninsula with a north sea, uses French, English, and German fashion/customs, and Rapunzel is a Germanic fairy tale. But like those clues are thrown into a blender and contradicted several times over, on top of never being told where it’s closest kingdoms actually lie. 

All of this matters when traveling and exploring the wider world are big themes of your show. You need more solid and consistent world building than this. It also impacts how much authority and control your main character has within the episode itself if she range of political power is limited to one area. So like we need to know where the heroes stand here. 

(FYI I personally headcannon Corona as former Prussia which was once part of Germany and it’s alliance of smaller kingdoms. It’s also a peninsula next to the Curonian Spit) 

This Is Not Progress

Okay so the idea here, is that the show is implying that Rapunzel is trying to improve Corona’s justice system over Frederic’s previously inhumane crack down on crime. However, this is terribly executed. 

For starters the show has never called Frederic nor Rapunzel out for their previous misbehavior. You can not change any system for the better without acknowledging the flaws within said system first. Therefore this comes right out of nowhere and doesn’t stick around long enough to stay within the viewers minds for later. 

Secondly, Rapunzel is incredibly fickle about who she does and doesn’t set free. The Saporians were still in the dungeons last time we saw them, Caine was shipped off to the prison island and left to die there as far as we know, and the Stabbingtons are shown shackled together in the wedding short even though they supposedly changed their ways and befriended Eugene again. 

Meanwhile Dwayne and Stalyan are free to go their marry way and continue their life of crime, Varian is only released from his overly harsh punishment because he kissed Rapunzel’s ass not because it was wrong to imprison him in the first place, and later Cassandra gets away scot free because she’s Rapunzel’s bestie even though she committed the worst crimes out of everyone in the show and for very little reason. 

That’s not justice. That’s not compassion. That’s not progressive reform. It’s just nepotism, and it’s every bit as corrupt as Frederic’s classism and totalitarianism. 

Just because Rapunzel is “nice” it doesn’t mean that she is kind. Real reform has to treat everyone with equality and have a set of base standards that are beyond one person’s personal judgment. She is still a dictator and an abuser even if she lets the occasional person go free on a whim. 

Finally, Rapunzel’s methods are just downright ineffective. Dwyane may not be a threat to our heroes, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a threat to other people. He’s not actually sorry about trying to rob people at knife point and he fully plans on continuing being a thief after feeding Rapunzel the lines she wants to hear. 

Furthermore, we don’t know if this course of action is born out of malice or desperate need. He half heartily comments about finding ‘an honest job” but can he even do that? Is it even a realistic option for him? The series has been weaving this class inequality theme through out it’s past three seasons and directly connecting that to Corona’s crime rate. 

Eugene had a hard time finding a job during season one directly due to his past record, remember? A life of crime he was forced to lead in order to survive, and he’s the Prince Consort! What chance does Dwayne have? Did Rapunzel even try to help him find work or did she just wag her finger at him and told him “Now, now, stealing’s not nice.” 

The show wants to act like Rapunzel is this progressive reformer but then they turn her into a Republican instead. That’s not me being sarcastic either, this approach to criminal justice is the foundation of conservative belief and has been for centuries. The right are not interested in why people commit crime. They don’t care about addressing the fundamental problems in society that lead people to break the law. Let alone bother to analyze why those laws exist in the first place. Instead they resort to doublethink and survivor bias to either write off those that fall through the cracks or make excuses for why their policies repeatedly fail, often ignoring the fact that things aren’t actually working for whole swathes of people who aren’t themselves.  

Tangled the Series is far too simplistic and childish in it’s approach to deeper subjects like this to enforce the messages it supposedly wants to enforce. Rapunzel herself relies on magical thinking, double standards, and personal bias to see her through every and any problem and the show just rewards her for it rather than challenging her to grow and in doing so winds up supporting people like her in their authoritarian ideas, whether that was the writers’ intentions or not. 

In short, Rapunzel shows no interest in putting in the real work it would take to implement genuine restorative justice. She doesn't honestly care about Dwyane or his victims. She’s just posturing here for the sake of her self image.  

You’re Not In Any Position to Talk Rapunzel 

Speaking of Rapunzel being a hypocrite.... The entirety of season three’s main conflict is her having a petty bitch fight with her supposed best friend and needlessly dragging everyone else into it.

In fact that’s the whole show. Rapunzel repeatedly failing to get along with other people because she’s deep down a shitty person despite the veneer of ‘friendliness’ she slaps on to hide it. Having her just say she knows better does nothing to convince me that she’s actually learned anything. You have to show that she’s learned it first, and that requires acknowledging her own wrong doings.  

Varian’s face here just tells it all. Rapunzel is full of shit and no one in the show knows it better than him. Why are they even friends again? Why should we trust her with the three kids she neglected more than once? Why should any of these people take what she says seriously? 

Well This is Contradictory

Also, since we brought up double standards, here’s Varian undermining that whole “jail is bad” thing Rapunzel is trying to push with Dwayne and later with Cass. Not only is the show under cutting it’s themes for a joke, but it just reinforces the abuse Varian received. He’s now bought into Frederic’s stupid beliefs and winds up reinforcing to the audience that that his ‘reform’ was due to his past imprisonment.   

As an adult watching this series, Varian’s supposed redemption continues to increasingly look like a victim complying with their past abuser out of fear of further harm rather than anyone genuinely learning to be better.

Can We Please Stop Infantilizing the 16 Year Old

As if to deflect from Varian’s past mistreatment and continuing parentification, the show then goes on to showcase the opposite extreme whenever possible. I know it’s hard to tell just from these few screen shots alone, but over the course of season three Varian is spoken down too and treated condescendingly by the rest of the cast, and by Rapunzel in particular, even as he enters his later teens/early adulthood.  

Some of this is just to due to Rapunzel being her usual holier than thou self, but there’s also times, like here, where Varian is lumped together with the actual children of the show, even though he’s 6 to 8 years their senior. 

In fact out of everyone Rapunzel interacts with, Varian’s actually the closest to her in both age and development. Queen for a Day forced the two of them into a power imbalance due to a mixture of classism and society’s ongoing unhealthy (and often artificial) divide between younger and older teens, but as we get further and further away from that point in time and as Varian nears the same age Rapunzel started out as, that imbalance becomes less and less relevant. 

Look at how this scene is framed, He’s standing between Angry and Red and is placed lower than them to make it look like he’s one of them. He’s not. 

Varian may still look 12 with his big old eyes and short stature, but seeing as how we’re past Hearts Day, he’s actually close to being 17, if he isn’t already. The timeline gets even wonkier after The King and Queen of Hearts, but trust me, we’re close to being two years past Queen for a Day, if not more so. 

Varian, for all counts, should be Rapunzel’s equal by now in terms of story. Not only is he closest in age to her, but he’s also the only other person going through a coming of age arc. And of the two, Varian’s the one who has actually learned and grown as a person. He has more real world experience than Rapunzel ever will and knows how to implement that experience. (He’s also the more mature, but that’s more of a failure to write Rapunzel competently than a reflection of his capabilities.) 

No matter how you slice it, Varian shouldn’t be taking orders or advice from Rapunzel; no one should be, really; and he most certainly shouldn’t put up with her condescension. Rapunzel is not his nor anybody else’s mother. She’s not even a big sister like figure, and at no point should be treated as the leader of anything or anyone. 

Rapunzel is a Poor Man’s Rose Quartz 

I typically try not to draw too many comparisons between Tangled and other shows outside of the occasional parallel, as a show should be able to stand on it’s own for good or for bad, but it’s hard not to discuss the series without also discussing Steven Universe in some way. 

Steven Universe is this generation’s Batman the Animated Series or Scooby Doo. It’s the game changer that everybody else is trying to copy in some manner. Chris desperately wants Tangled the Series to be the next Steven Universe, right down to how the show is structured, paced, and what themes are presented. But unfortunately Chris has no idea why Steven Universe works the way it does. 

For starters SU adjusted it’s pacing as it went along, smoothing out its rougher edges while Tangled doubled down on its filler. SU had a planned arc from the get go and stuck to it, so that by the time the twists came they made sense. SU kept it’s focus on Steven purposefully so that the story unfolded from his view point while making to sure to acknowledge the importance of other characters around him and their conflicts. It didn’t make him infallible nor shove aside everyone else’s arcs.  

But most importantly, Steven Universe was written by a bisexual nonbinary person who set out to make a show for people in the queer community like themselves. Meanwhile, as a middle aged white man, Chis hasn’t a damn clue about his primary audience and has shown no interest in connecting with them. 

This isn’t to say that Steven Universe is a perfect show. No show is beyond criticism. Nor is this to say that straight white cis men can’t write; many of them do and can portray characters unlike themselves competently enough. But if you’re completely disinterested in other points of view than you can’t be a good writer of fictional stories, that’s just a fact. Because in order to understand proper characterization you need to acknowledge that not every character ever will be like you and that even you’re main heroes will hold beliefs and experiences different from yourself. Otherwise there is no genuine conflict to build off of. Either no one will disagree with each other or the conflict will come across as flat and forced, complete with lopsided bias. 

Therefore, in the end, Rapunzel winds up being less of a Steven and more of a Rose Quartz/Pink Dimond. Both are spoiled princesses/co-rulers of a kingdom that mistreats it’s people and anyone outside of it, who rebelled against their guardians, supposedly out of a sense of justice, but really for themselves and their own freedom, only to make things even worse for everyone. On top of that they both accidently harmed their friends, freindzone their best friend while also bossing them around, are condescending to their love interests, is controlling of people who trust them, and throws temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want, oh and neglected someone for an inhumane amount of time. 

Even then, Rapunzel winds up being the worst of the two. 

The whole point behind Rose was that she is someone whom the main characters place upon a pedestal and as the series went along slowly had the scales fall from their eyes and learned to view her for who she really was flaws and all. By the end, in Future, she is even metaphorically removed from her pedestal when Steven removes her picture from the wall.  

Rose also grows as a character, unlike Rapunzel. Her story is deliberately being told to us backwards. The awful person she was in the past was no longer who she was by the time of her death. True she was still flawed, and the consequences of her actions continued on even after her demise, but she actually tried to be a better person. She got called out for her behavior, she wasn’t excused for actions even when the show explained why she did what she did, and she stopped doing harmful actions whenever she realized that they hurt someone. 

Greg was allowed to stand up to her and show how she was wrong, and she respected him for it and later fell in love with him because of it. She tried to better control her temper when she wound up hurting her friend. Her failed revolution and her mistreatment of Spinel was actually born from a misguided desire to help, rather than outright selfishness. 

Rose Quratz/Pink Dimond is a brilliant fucking character. You may not like her, but you can’t deny that she is one of the most complex figures in children’s media to ever be created. She is real, nuanced, and multifaceted. He role within the story is complicated, messy, and intricate. She is the most well rounded female character I’ve ever seen and she is what I had hoped Rapunzel would be when I first watched season one, only even more so as the actual focus. 

I want women in cartoons to be people! 

But Rapunzel fails at every turn to follow through with this promise. She is not a deep complex character. She’s not a flawed and complicated heroine. She’s a blank canvas in which the creator can shove his creepy ass views upon. She is never taken off her pedestal, she’s never allowed to be wrong, and she is forced to spout the the creator’s personal bias against other characters. 

Rapunzel isn’t a person. She had the chance to be one, but then was reduced to .. to this. As a woman, the treatment of Rapunzel and Cassandra in this show is just flat out insulting. 

So What Is the Difference Between Angry and Red Now?

I’m all for character growth, but at this point Angry and Red are just interchangeable. Anything that made them uniquely them has been lost, and they’re now just fulfilling the generic rambunctious little kid trope. Red becoming more assertive shouldn’t mean she stops being an introvert altogether; that’s not how that works. While Angry shouldn’t lose her temper completely just because she’s wiling to open up more. 

So Why Dwayne?

I like Dwayne as a character and in truth I don’t mind his existence here, and unlike that werewolf hunter last time he at least was established in a pervious season. But this is still time that could have went to a more important antagonist. 

Also notice that Dwyane gets a villain song, but not Lady Caine or Zhan Tiri. Just saying. 

Rapunzel Has Not Earned the Role of the Wise Sage and Mentor 

Rapunzel has never learned to listen to others. Ever.

On it’s own this might have been a good speech, but when taken in context of the wider story it just makes Rapunzel look like an ass. 

A year traveling does not make Rapunzel suddenly all knowing. She is not wiser nor more experienced than anyone else in this scene. She’s also a crappy leader and big fat hypocrite.  

Even when she’s technically right, as seen here, she’s still in the wrong because she never follows through and acts upon her own advice; making this whole story pointless in the grand scheme of things. 

And that’s the core problem with season three. Rapunzel is shoved into a role she is not designed for and the whole premise of the series runs right off the rails. You’re main heroine in a coming of age story can not inhabit the mentor role. She can not simultaneously learn and grow and be always right while instructing everyone else. 

All through out season three Rapunzel is either rendered completely useless in her own damn series, or she utterly fails to fulfill any sort of narrative promise laid out for her while she infuriatingly hijacks the story from more interesting and dynamic characters. 

Behold The Only Reason Why Varian was Included in the Episode 

Speaking of hijacking things, Rapunzel of course has to get the idea to save everybody, even though what she thinks of isn’t anything special. It’s not derived from her character as an individual nor from all that experience she supposedly has. It’s literally an idea anyone could have come up  with and the show just hands it to her in order to justify her exitance. 

Meanwhile the character who actually is useful to the plot is sidelined and reduced to just a plot device. And not just here, Varian is rendered practically pointless in all but two episodes in season three, even in episodes that he actually should have more impact in, like the season opener and series finale. 

Good writing treats characters as equally contributing to the plot in ways that complements who these characters are.  

Ok I’ll Admit That This Line Is Funny

Look, I know this whole review series is about pointing out the negative, and I stand by my opinion that Tangled the Series is one of the worst written shows I’ve ever seen, but I want to make one thing clear.... I do not hate the show. If I hated the show I would not waste my time reviewing it. 

Yes the over all writing is shit, but there are a lot of good things to be found in the series beyond just the crap story arc. The humor is usually solid, the animation is gorgeous, the music is a delight, and the majority of the characters are likable even though they don’t develop in the ways that they should. There’s a lot of talent that went into this show and there’s a lot of potential to be had in it’s set up and lore. 

Being critical or negative about the aspects of something doesn’t mean you dislike it, or that you’re not a real fan, or that you’re just a ‘hater’, and I actually find TTS to be fascinating because it’s such a mess. I write reviews because they’re fun and because I genuinely think there is something to be learned from Tangled’s mistakes. 

So Why Do We Cut Back to Rapunzel Here and Not Varian? 

This is such an odd framing choice. Varian is the one who is talking and reacting to what’s happening. It’s his pet that’s in trouble and therefore he carries the emotional weight of the scene, and yet it’s Rapunzel’s shocked face we focus on? Why? What’s the point of that? She has no business being the center focus here. The action does not involve her. 

If you wanted to include her for a later set up then why not have both her and Varian present in this shot? Usually I can at least count on the story boarders to frame things better than this, but they really missed the mark here. Unless Chris is just that stupid and petty that he over ruled them and forced Varian out of the scene, but that seems like a pointless fight to pick, even for him. 

See This is How you Fulfill a Narrative Promise 

The conflict between Ruddiger and Max was set up in season one with What the Hair, then it was reiterated a few episodes ago during The Lost Treasure of Herz Der Sonne, and then it was reintroduced in this episode along with a stated lesson about working together that they needed to learn. By they end of the episode, guess what, they’ve learned to work together. That is how you properly set up and resolve a conflict. 

It’s clear from this that the writers of Tangled the Series know the basic tenants of writing and how to fulfill narrative promises. So the fact that they don’t follow through with this in the majority of the show’s episodes and ongoing story arcs just baffles me. 

Is it negligence? Is it hubris? Is it incompetent management and editorial mandates? Is it just one asshole ruining everything or is this a failure in the writers room as a whole? 

I just don’t understand what the fuck went wrong here. There’s no reason for why the show got as bad as it did. How does the most acclaimed animation company in the world put out such amateurish tripe? 

Just... wow. 

Now you know why I’m mesmerized by this show. It is a mystery to be solved, like trying to figure out how the crew on the Titanic fucked up so badly or why Hindenburg blew up. You just can’t look away. 

Conclusion 

Like I said at the start, structurally speaking this is the strongest episode of the season. I personally enjoy Lost Treasure a little more, just because Rapunzel annoys me less in that, but it’s not a bad story. However when you’re best episode in your final season is filler, then you know you’re in trouble. 

If you like my reviews and want to support my writing endeavors you can drop a tip in my kofi https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[ladyfawkes]

[I know what you're thinking -- and the answer is NOPE. THIS IS NOT A REPOST. THIS IS THE ACTUAL THIRD UPDATE (count 'em, THREE!!) in less than a month!! WOOPAH!!!] Tangled Just Before Ever After Chapter 4: Down the Hatch Current word count: 10103 Chapter 4 Summary: How in the world does Eugene answer Rapunzel's question??? Can the author manage to eek out yet another chapter from within the Tower??? WILL OUR COUPLE EVER GET BACK TO CORONA?!? S0ooOoo MANY qUeStiONs!!11!!

Eugene gulped hard several times; the silence stretched a bit too thin between his forthcoming answer and Rapunzel’s question. Eugene could feel that old standby instinct of wanting to lie through his teeth threatening to take over. But this was Rapunzel before him…. And this much he’d learned by now; if an honest woman confronts you about your past hookups, you should level with her. Though Eugene would've told Rapunzel whatever she wished to know, no matter when she chose to ask. After he’d been exploited for so many years by the likes of Stalyan and the Baron, Eugene had reached a breaking point fairly early on where he couldn’t bring himself to seduce the innocent anymore. He’d never liked doing that in the first place since it made him feel cheap, sleazy, and just all-out gross. Even grifters had to draw the line somewhere. It was yet another reason why he’d left Stalyan.

Eugene also knew that if he had to start running interference regarding his past during his first day as Eugene Fitzherbert the gentleman ….then he’d have to keep lying forever afterward….just like Flynn had. And Eugene was simply tired -- no, exhausted -- from all of the running, running, running. Flynn Rider had been on the move ever since he ditched the orphanage before his 10th year all those years ago. No more running, Eugene resolved. Even if leveling with the princess means she wants me out of the picture, so be it. She deserves to hear the truth from the source.

“Rapunzel….” Eugene began delicately, “the short answer to your question -- I’m sorry to say -- is far too many. But I’m requesting that we put a bookmark in that answer; we’ll circle back around to finish it.” Eugene nearly lost his nerve to continue after seeing the crestfallen look in Rapunzel’s eyes. He instead busied himself by locating the ring-shaped pull embedded in the trapdoor of the floor. After tugging on it, he noticed it wouldn’t budge. Without prompting, Rapunzel volunteered further information, explaining how when the princess was still little, Gothel always made her go up to the loft before she opened the trapdoor for her trips away. The crone never wanted the girl to figure out how to operate it. Thus Rapunzel said, “But you’re good at finding your way out of places. I figured you could make the mechanism work -- even without having seen Gothel’s trick to unlatching it.”

No sooner had Rapunzel said the word “unlatching” when a sharp click-THUNK issued from the floor. “Found it,” announced a smirking Eugene, as he moved the toe of his boot off of the otherwise camouflaged mechanism. He couldn’t help feeling a little smug after having effectively outthought that diabolical dead woman….again. The young man repositioned himself to again tug the metal ring and sure enough, the trapdoor swung open this time.

“After you,” said Eugene, gallantly gesturing Rapunzel down the next set of stairs.

“If only I had met you sooner,” Rapunzel said wistfully, as she shook her head. She’d tried to find that hidden mechanism in the floor for years. Eugene had discovered and figured out how to disarm it in mere seconds.

Eugene could not help his contrite chuckle. “Rapunzel, if we had met sooner -- even one year earlier, I doubt I ever could’ve left this place the first time. But it would’ve been for an entirely different reason.”

“Oh, yeah?” Rapunzel challenged, an unexpected edge to her voice. She folded her arms and demanded, “And what’s that?”

“Well, for starters,” said Eugene, his voice becoming far more subdued, “you never would’ve reached the fateful decision to enter a trust agreement with the kingdom’s most disreputable scoundrel. I mean….how could you?” Eugene pondered softly. “Especially based on the faulty info you’d been given about the world in general, you wouldn’t have had a reason yet to take the chance on our deal. Gothel’s control freakishness….hadn’t yet pushed you to the brink. Instead, she would’ve come home, you would’ve had no choice but to tell her that you’d caught me breaking in, and….well….”

“Don’t say that,” Rapunzel abruptly cut him off, abandoning her walk down the stairs, instead rushing over to grab Eugene’s free hand. “Don’t you ever say that,” she admonished, eyes wide. “Even if you had remained a perfect rogue stranger to me, Eugene Fitzherbert, I never would’ve wanted that old crone to hurt you on purpose. And especially not like... this,” finished Rapunzel, once more stretching her palm and pressing it against the jagged bloody tear in his doublet. A renewed ember of hope sparked inside him. And before he knew it, Rapunzel was apologizing, of all things!

“I….I’m sorry I put you on the spot that way regarding, ah, any prior relationships. It wasn’t fair of me to throw something like that on you so suddenly.” Meekness overtook Rapunzel and she looked at the floor, absently tracing out an invisible half-circle with her big toe. “Besides,” she confessed, “I only did it to distract you from my own awkwardness. But….but you kept…..insisting I should tell you what was bothering me since you are trustworthy.” Eugene was swift and carefully set the trapdoor down with the hinge open outward. He also briefly removed and set down his satchel.

The anxious young man went directly to Rapunzel with open arms but halfway through the motion thought that perhaps he shouldn’t, because Eugene didn’t want her to feel obligated to reciprocate. So the keyed-up man kept his fingers curled into his palms rather than reach out, and he kept his arms from raising above waist height. He was half-frozen, trying earnestly not to telegraph what he truly wished to do.

Eugene’s own thumbs must’ve betrayed him, though, as they involuntarily flexed, splaying outward from his balled fists. Rapunzel approached him and briefly gazed into his eyes with a hint of smile behind her own. She proceeded to lean over and take each of his hands, in turn, and tenderly kiss each errant thumb, in turn. Yet any embarrassment Eugene felt over her keen perception would soon melt away. For the princess took his left wrist and placed his arm over her right shoulder, took his right wrist and guided his arm around her waist, and then she mirrored the gesture with her own arms around him. The pair had briefly stopped their world to oh-so-carefully melt deeply into each other. After some time, they briefly broke their embrace. Rapunzel drew her arms in and criss-crossed her upper body with them, tucking in right up against Eugene’s chest. This allowed the sweet young man to attentively draw the princess into himself so tightly, nearly tight enough for him to wrap his arms around her twice as he buried his entire face into her silken hair. Each time they embraced….Eugene was simply floored with just how perfectly they “fit” one another; she could nestle comfortably and flush against his own shape, creating a head-to-toe highway of warmth and love.

Eventually, contented humming issued from Rapunzel’s throat. “I’ve never felt this safe before,” she murmured in awe, her face still pillowed against Eugene’s chest. “Nobody’s ever held me like this before either.” This realization had moved the princess to tears. Eugene leisurely placed a ring of popcorn kisses around the crown of her head in effort to soothe. “Dearest Sunshine of mine,’ he whispered into her hair, “I can promise you there’s so much more where that came from…..” and he was able to draw her imperceptibly closer into himself.

Soon moisture pricked the corners of his own eyes, for Eugene had a similar epiphany to Rapunzel’s. In all his years of relative isolation on the run, Rider never once allowed himself to partake in anything on this type of intimacy level. He’d always been keen to its existence, though. And he knew it was so much deeper and more meaningful than sex. And being the secretly sensitive person Eugene was, it was something he furtively craved but couldn’t bring himself to put that type of expectation upon another human being, knowing the unfavorable lifestyle he led.

And here this fractured thief managed to get caught up within a perfect healing ray of sunlight….and she was willing to take him on along with all his demons, even without knowing the full story in advance. And boy, did he ever have more than his fair share of demons. In spite of himself, Eugene had to say it again. “Sunshine…..I don’t deserve you.”

He immediately heard a tiny huff of impatience from her. “Eugeeeeeene,” Rapunzel overemphasized with mild vexation, “deserving or not, I’ve chosen you. You are forever my new dream. So….so start acting like it….please?” she implored, gazing at him with wide-open concerned eyes. Even her pep talk to him had proven about as rough and tumble as dandelion fluff.

“For you, Sunshine.” Eugene caressed her cheek. “It’ll be a struggle for awhile….but I will no longer speak of ‘deserving to have you.’ I shall instead focus on ‘building new dreams with you’.”

“Thank you,” Rapunzel said gratefully. “It….just….hurts me to see you thinking so much less of yourself due to circumstances now beyond your control.” She slipped her hand into Eugene’s own. And it was that moment he finally found an opening to finish what he started.

“Circling back to the bookmark in our conversation…. Rapunzel…. Ever since the first time you chose to address me as Eugene, everything...the past few days...has been unlike anything I’ve ever felt or experienced with any woman before. It’s all new….all of it. So many firsts already. Nonetheless, you still have every right to ask me about whomever I’ve been with prior to when we met. And while I do intend to eventually tell you about those encounters -- if that’s what you want -- you should also be aware that for me, Eugene Fitzherbert, it’s still a little too soon to openly discuss much of anything just yet. But I will try for your sake, if that’s what you need.” He briefly bowed his head, his eyelids automatically sliding shut.

Rapunzel was so fleet-footed that Eugene had not heard her change positions to where she grabbed his satchel, immediately encouraged Eugene to open his eyes and to help a struggling Pascal who was now lugging a forgotten cast-iron frying pan, and she started down the steps at long last. That was….abrupt, Eugene thought to himself. If Rapunzel was perpetually so talented at keeping him on his toes, then he’d best get himself some better boots -- and soon!

“You okay?” asked Eugene, just to make sure. He grabbed the brass ring of the trapdoor and just before he closed it…..he looked around the Tower one last time. He knew that he should feel the most ominous and terrified that he’d ever felt, especially upon glimpsing his own bloodstain on the floor. But something…..someone was protecting him. And even though he was neither superstitious nor believed in ghosts, once in awhile he would privately allow himself the indulgence of conjuring up invented people and imagery from his past. Fleetingly an image of who could only be his mother comes to mind; it was her spirit that must’ve been shielding him from the worst of today’s trauma, he decided. Thank you, he mouths the words to a seemingly empty Tower, pulling the trapdoor tight shut forever.....

“I’m more than okay,” Rapunzel replied enthusiastically, as she made her way down the dingy spiral staircase. “Who cares about past relationships when you can tell me about all of those firsts you just mentioned instead?”

Eugene almost -- almost -- laughed aloud with relief. Here he had been so worried about past relationship questions when Rapunzel instead wanted to be told all about the present. Three days, and this was the only thing he’d come across so far in which Rapunzel was anything like any other woman he’d met. And Eugene was more than happy to indulge her need to know just how special she had become to him and why.

A/N: I hate to do this (haven't done it here before) but I'm getting next to NO feedback and the same goes for reblogs. If you enjoy my writing, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE -- even if you write no review--reblog this?? It's the only way this story goes out anywhere. It's an author's life blood. You all know how isolating and ridiculous tumblr's stupid search algorithm is.....

[roseworth]

Who You Care For (Chapter 1)

word count: 3.2k

description: Flynn Rider had a lot of enemies. The thing about enemies, though, is they'll always want their revenge, and they'll take drastic steps to get it.

warnings: violence, some swearing

AO3

chapter 2

If Flynn had to choose a least favorite way to wake up, it would probably be on the ground tied to a pole in a place he didn’t recognize.

He blinked his eyes a few times, hoping that somehow he was still dreaming and he would wake up any second now. His ears were ringing and the light of a lantern next to him was making his head pound. From what he could tell, he was on the floor of a tent, empty except for him and the lantern on a table next to him. There were footsteps outside as a few people passed by, but he couldn’t tell who they were.

He had no idea where he was or how he got there. Clearly, someone wanted revenge for something he did, but he had no guess as to which person he wronged it could be. Given the fact that he didn’t have a sword through his head already, he assumed it wasn’t the Baron. Could be one of the Baron’s associates, though, and they just wanted to give him or Stalyan the opportunity to kill Flynn themselves. He chose to ignore that possibility and hang on to the hope that he would make it out of here alive.

His hands were tied behind his back and attached to a pole in the center of the tent. He tugged on the ropes to see if they would give, but they were secured too tightly to let him move at all. He was pretty sure he had his knife in his pocket (if his kidnapper hadn’t taken it, that is), and if he could just find a way to reach it, he could cut through his restraints.

Before he could even try, the front of the tent opened and someone stepped in. It was a tall man that Flynn didn’t recognize. He racked his brain for who this person might be but was coming up empty. That was probably not good. “Sorry, this room is occupied,” he said sweetly. The man shot him a glare, crossing his arms and looking down at him.

“Flynn Rider, right?”

“That’s me,” he answered. “And you are?”

“They call me Morrighan.”

“What a lovely name! Did your mother give it to you?”

“You don’t make yourself easy to find, Rider,” he said, ignoring Flynn’s remarks. “‘pparently a lot of people have scores to settle with you.”

Flynn snorted. “Well, you don’t become a thief to make friends. Criminal networks aren’t exactly sororities.”

Morrighan grunted and slowly walked forward. Without warning, he kicked Flynn in the stomach, causing all the air to leave his lungs. He coughed and tried to catch his breath. He wasn’t given the chance to prepare for the impact, so the kick threw him off more than it should have.

“The hell was that for?” he said roughly after regaining his breath. He had known that he was probably in for an ass-kicking as soon as he woke up, but usually people had the decency to at least gave him an explanation before beating the shit out of him.

“You took something from me, Rider. Something I can’t get back from you.”

“Well, we just established that I’m a thief, so if you could be a little more clear-”

He was cut off with a punch straight to his jaw. “Shut up.”

He was mostly annoyed that he didn’t even get to know what this guy wanted revenge for, and apparently he couldn’t even ask. Not that he would want to ask now, though. His jaw was stinging from where he got hit, and he wasn’t in the mood to move it. He spat out the blood that was starting to collect in his mouth onto the ground beside him.

“You slept with my wife, you little bastard,” Morrighan said angrily.

“Can I talk now, or are you gonna hit me again?” Flynn asked raspily, trying to ignore the shooting pains in his face as he moved his mouth. He took the fact that he wasn’t immediately punched to mean that he was allowed to talk. “Who’s your wife?”

“My Sarah. We’ve been married for years and now she wants to leave me.”

“Hm… Sarah?” He pretended to think hard to remember her. Of course he knew who the man was talking about, he just wanted to piss him off. After a few seconds of mocking being deep in thought, Flynn smiled cheekily. “Ohhh, her. Yeah, I definitely fucked your wife.”

Morrighan let out an anguished yell, then punched him full force in the nose. I probably should have seen that one coming, Flynn thought as his head was thrown back by the punch, causing the back of his head to slam into the pole behind him. His nose started to drip with blood, and he tried to lift his hand to his nose to subdue the bleeding but was held back by the restraints around his hands. He settled for just tilting his head up to hopefully slow the blood down.

“Hey, it’s not my fault she doesn’t want you. She approached me first, said that you had some anger issues and she wasn’t happy,” he said, really just trying to press Morrighan’s buttons at this point. He was already going to get beat to a pulp, might as well irritate this guy as much as he could, right?

“Shut up!” Morrighan shouted, punching him in the jaw again. That one hurt a little less than the first time, given that it was already starting to go numb. It did cause more blood to fill his mouth, though, along with more blood to come flowing from his nose.

Morrighan unsheathed a sword and brought it right up to Flynn’s throat, pressing just hard enough to break skin. He tried to move away from the blade, but he was stuck in place as it left a stinging cut on his neck. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

“I don’t think your wife would be too happy about that,” Flynn answered with a smug smirk. He sucked in his breath as the sword was pressed harder against his neck. He knew he would need to start backtracking if he was going to make it out of here alive. “Listen, man, a lot of people want me dead. You’re gonna have a ton of people on your back if you kill me now.”

“I’d be doing everyone a favor by getting rid of you.”

“Well, you could say that, but also they’re all pretty determined to be the one to get to kill me. If you kill me now, the Baron and his daughter are gonna be especially mad,” he reasoned, hoping the desperation wasn’t clear in his voice. It wasn’t really a lie, though. He guessed that the Baron had told his men not to kill Flynn if they found him, which was the only reason he had managed to stay alive this long. If someone did bring him to the Baron someday, though, he was definitely dead.

This argument seemed to work on Morrighan, at least enough to get him to pull his sword away. Flynn coughed up a bit of blood as soon as he could breathe without getting sliced. He looked up to see the man staring down at him, hatred evident in his eyes, but there was a smile growing on his face. That was never a good sign.

“I won’t kill you. At least not yet. I want to make sure you’re alive to witness me killing everyone you love before I kill you.”

Flynn laughed at the threat. “Nice try, but I don’t have anyone I love.”

“Everyone has something, Rider. You have a family, right?”

He shook his head. “Never had, never will.”

“What about your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” If this guy was about to call one of his random hookups his boyfriend, then he was setting himself up to be disappointed.

“Oh really? What about that big guy you’re always with?”

He felt his throat close up as he realized who Morrighan was threatening.

Lance.

“Pfft, that guy? We’ve just pulled a couple of jobs together, I don’t care about him,” he said nonchalantly. He tried to keep his face steady despite the fact his heart was racing at the thought of someone wanting to hurt his closest friend.

“So you don’t care about anyone, and the only people that care about you are the ones that want you dead,” Morrighan summarized.

“Well, when you say it like that, it just sounds sad,” Flynn joked. The other man rolled his eyes.

“I’ll keep you alive for now, but I’ll get my revenge. Mark my words.”

Flynn stayed quiet as Morrighan stormed out of the tent. As soon as he was gone, Flynn groaned quietly and let his head fall in front of him. His entire face was going numb so the pain wasn’t as bad, but his stomach still burned whenever he tried to take a deep breath.

He had to get out and warn Lance. But if anyone saw him with Lance, they both be in danger. Shit. He and Lance had enough enemies together, but knowing that Flynn’s enemies would try to hurt Lance to get to him didn’t sit right with him.

First things first, though, he needed a way to get out of this tent. Eventually, Morrighan was going to realize that his excuses were bullshit and come back to kill him, so he had to get away before that happened. There was no way anyone was simply going to let him go, so he had to find his own way out.

He shifted where he was sitting to see if he could feel the knife in his pocket. He let out a short sigh of relief when he felt it, still in his pocket where he left it. Apparently, Morrighan hadn’t bothered to take his weapons when he kidnapped him. It’s my lucky day, he thought dryly.

He shifted his body towards his tied-up hands so he could reach into his pocket. Once he got close enough, he stretched his fingers as much as he could until he felt the handle of his knife. He celebrated quietly as he managed to pull the knife out of his pocket and tighten his grip around it

He lifted the blade up to the rope and sliced through it, taking a bit of skin off of his finger in the process since he couldn’t angle it well. He cursed under his breath, pressing his hand to his shirt to try to soak up the blood as he stood up.

Standing up wasn’t a very pleasant endeavor. He could feel his entire body protesting while he stretched up, his abdomen especially aching from where Morrighan’s boot had smashed it. He leaned against the table next to him as he tried to breathe normally again. He needed a way out, preferably an easy one so he didn’t have to run. He wasn’t sure he would even be able to run in his current condition.

He couldn’t exit through the front of the tent or he would be caught within seconds. Instead, he took his knife and cut a slit through the back of the tent, and poked his head out to check for anyone walking by. Luckily, the sun had gone down so the darkness would aid in his escape. He kept his head low, making his way away as quickly as he could without drawing attention. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he would figure it out after he got away.

There were tents set up all around him. He assumed it was so Morrighan and his crew could leave in a hurry if need be. They didn’t seem like the type to stay in one place for long, so they took their base with them wherever they went. Not a bad strategy, given that criminal groups like that were on the run constantly.

As soon as Flynn got far enough away from their campsite that he was confident they wouldn’t be able to see him anymore, he dropped to his knees and took a struggled breath. The numbness in his face was starting to fade away, meaning he could feel the stinging all over it. He spat out more blood onto the ground, then stomped it away with his foot to mix it into the mud so no one could track it. He ripped part of the sleeve off his shirt to soak up some of the blood that was still dripping out of his nose.

He considered just falling asleep right there on the ground. He knew it was too close to the people he had just run away from, but he didn’t have the energy to go any farther. He found a nice bush that would probably be enough to hide him, and he curled up and shut his eyes, trying to let his body relax.

He hoped they wouldn’t look for Lance after they realized he had gotten away. Lance really was the only person in the world he cared about, and he would never forgive himself if anything happened.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? He cared about Lance, and that care was putting him in danger. That’s what happens when you care about people: they get hurt because of you. Maybe it’s better to just not care about people in the first place. Being close to people would drag them into all his messes. Lance did nothing wrong (well, not to Morrighan, at least), but would still be targeted just because Flynn cared about him.

Was it worth it?

The next morning, Flynn woke up feeling at least slightly better. The pain all over his body had turned into a consistent buzz instead of a throbbing pain, which was an improvement. He continued his trek away, though he still didn’t know where he was. Currently, his brilliant plan was to wander around until he found something familiar then go from there.

After about 10 minutes of walking, he started to recognize his surroundings. On the bright side, he knew where he was now. Unfortunately, “where he was” was hours from where he had been. He had to hand it to his kidnappers, though. He wasn’t sure how he had gotten knocked out, but it did the trick if they were able to take him all the way to the other side of the forest without him waking up.

He sighed and continued his sad and stumbly journey back. Everything in his body ached when he moved, but the alternative option was to sit out in the open and get re-kidnapped (and probably killed).

Hours of tired trudging later, he finally arrived at where he and Lance had set up their own temporary shelter. He looked at it sadly. It was good for what it was, but it still wasn’t much. Just a couple of makeshift beds by a campfire, with trees to cover them in case the weather wasn’t on their side. He didn’t have a lot to compare it to, he hadn’t had an actual bed in years. A place to stay where he wasn’t constantly in danger of being kidnapped and beaten would be nice, but clearly that was too much to ask for.

He sighed and sat down, leaning against a tree. He planned on just resting his eyes for a few seconds, but he was awoken hours later to a familiar figure standing over him.

“Damn, what happened to you?” Lance asked teasingly, though there was worry plaguing his face. Flynn gave an attempt at a smile.

“You should see the other guy.”

Lance didn’t seem satisfied with this answer, but he shook his head and moved on nonetheless. “You’re never gonna believe this job I found, there’s a vault filled with treasure that we could get into after you’re all healed up,” he said proudly.

Flynn felt his stomach shift. “Ya know, maybe you would be able to do that job better if you did it by yourself,” he said as casually as he could. “Plus, you wouldn’t have to split the bounty, right?”

His eyes shifted to the ground so he didn’t have to see the look his oldest (and only) friend was giving him. He mostly seemed confused with a hint of upset, so Flynn continued. “I mean, we’ve been in the ‘partners in crime’ business for years now, but maybe it’s time to split up? I think we both work better as separate ‘Lone Wolves,’ right?”

Lance didn’t answer for a moment. “Hey man, you don’t need to start trying to spare my feelings. Just tell me that you don’t want to be partners anymore, I understand,” he said with a slight laugh, trying to hide his crestfallen expression.

Flynn cleared his throat. “Yeah, I just think it’d be better for both of us if we went our separate ways, you know?”

Flynn was being as insistent as he could without drawing suspicion. As much as he didn’t want to leave Lance, he also didn’t want to watch his broth-- his friend get killed.

“Well, uh, it’s been a wild run, buddy. See you in another life,” Lance said, patting Flynn on the shoulder.

It was a very underwhelming goodbye. They were both trying to act like it didn’t bother them at all; they never really did the whole “emotional” thing, and they weren’t going to start now. But the two of them had been best friends and partners in crime for as long as they could remember. Flynn couldn’t help but feel like he was losing a part of himself now that they were going their separate ways.

He was still trying to think of a last-minute plan that would let him keep Lance out of his problems while still being his friend, but was still coming up empty. This was the only way to make sure he would be safe, even if it hurt.

He left his last friend behind. It was probably better this way. If he didn’t have anyone near him, then no one could get hurt. It’s a foolproof plan! He would handle himself now, and only himself. If he was in a mess, it was his mess. He wasn’t accountable for anyone else.

But as soon as he was sure he was alone, he broke down. He closed his eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to spring out. He wouldn’t cry. He was stronger than that. He hadn’t cried in years, and there was no reason he should now.

It felt like all the wounds he had been ignoring decided to start hurting ten times worse, andh he felt more defeated than he ever had before. All he knew was that he was going to have to get used to this loneliness. He had dug his own grave and now he had to lie in it; he was going to be alone forever.

(chapter 2)

[rabbitsparklez]

Alright, I was going to explain this to respond to an ask, but I elaborated and made another long essay, so I made it a separate post. Here I’m rambling about Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship and why it’s not unhealthy, as some people say.

Every relationship has flaws, and truly, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But it’s the way the couple handles those flaws and tries to improve them that defines whether they have a good relationship or not.

Rapunzel and Eugene sometimes had communication/understanding issues, and people said that Rapunzel condescended over Eugene, or that he is obsessed with appeasing her and always lets her have her way, etc. These are partially true, and partially a horrible exaggeration.

Rapunzel never condescended over Eugene or disrespected him. There were times where she chose someone else’s wishes over his (like in season 1), or didn’t know how to open up to him, but seeing how far she would go to save him in times of distress (especially in Cassandra’s Revenge) shows that she prioritizes him over everyone. Rapunzel is a very preoccupied and busy person, being the queen, and she can’t spend every second of every day with Eugene. If she cast aside the kingdom, her responsibility, so that she could go on dates with him every day, that would be selfish and irresponsible, and Eugene knows and understands this. Rapunzel grew up under domestic abuse, and to be honest, I think the reason she always appeased Cassandra and tried so hard to be her friend was because she was used to that kind of behavior in her surrounding people. It’s not that she respected her more than Eugene: Eugene was tolerant and Cassandra wasn’t, and this is why Rapunzel listened to Cass so many times. She was used to having someone tell her what not to do, who not to trust, and how she should live her life, and Rapunzel didn’t realize it but Cass was treating her the way Mother Gothel was (being her daughter, I don’t think these parallels are a coincidence.). Often Rapunzel did listen to Cass instead of Eugene, but over the next two seasons, she grew firmer and no longer allowed her to backlash her choices. People are always saying that Rapunzel’s pining onto Cass in Season 3 was toxic, and I agree, but whenever Cass threatened her or Corona, she defended herself and didn’t put up with it. Sure she didn’t want to, and the writers tried hard to convey the message that Rapunzel can save anyone and has mercy on everyone, but what people didn’t see was that she fought back and defended Corona. She didn’t want to fight Cass, but she did when she had to. (sorry I was kind of rambling about Cass for a while). Back to the topic, the reason Rapunzel apparently “cast aside” Eugene, as some people say, was because he didn’t interfere with her life the way Cass and others did. He’s patient and tolerant, and Rapunzel knows this, thus she didn’t bend her back forward to give him what he wanted.

Regarding Eugene’s tolerance, I see it as a way that he heals her from her past life. Aside from Pascal, Eugene was the only one who truly witnessed and understood Mother Gothel’s abuse towards her. I personally believe that Stalyan domestically abused him, judging by the way she manipulated his decisions and beat up his self-esteem, and I think that Eugene understands Rapunzel so much because he knows what she went through. He knows what it’s like to be treated like a machine and used only for your abilities, and he realized that Rapunzel was going through the same thing when she opened up to him. Eugene wants Rapunzel to regain her self-esteem and be independent, and that’s why he always lets her make the calls. He believes in the strong, confident young lady behind her insecurities, similar to how she believed in the good, selfless man behind the cocky thief. But he doesn’t bow down to her feet and give everything to her like a toxically obsessed person would: in Season 3, he came to realize that he wanted to be more than just her boyfriend, and wanted an identity and a purpose. He did take it too far by giving into her, and they worked through that.

In the past, has Rapunzel forced Eugene to have feelings about something? No, she hasn’t! and Eugene argued with her when he felt like it was necessary, but in they end, they figured things out. In “You’re Kidding Me”, she personally thought he was being too strict, but expected him to figure it out himself (which he did, thanks to her advice). When he left to take Lance to the bathroom, Rapunzel said to Cassandra something like “he shouldn’t be so hard, but that’s why I’m glad that we approached our relationship patiently” or something like that. She trusted that he would figure it out himself, while letting him know how she thought kids should be treated, so in the end, he figured out himself that he should’ve been softer on Lance. Rapunzel didn’t force Eugene to think that way; she gave him her perspective and eventually he realized that she was right. In “There’s something about Hookfoot”, they also had opposing opinions about something and sort of argued about it, but in the end, they saw each others’ perspectives with no hard feelings. Sure they may have communication issues, but they fought their flaws and tried to make things better, while trying to understand each others’ point of view. Sure they may have had different perspectives on things, but every person is different, and even the most kindred of spirits don’t agree on every single thing. The way they handle those differences and take action when the other makes a mistake is what makes them a healthy couple.

The episodes like “No Time Like the Past” where she goes back in time and ironically changes his mind or “Flynnposter” where Eugene’s feelings towards his identity weren’t addressed from his perspective made people think that their relationship was toxic because Rapunzel “didn’t let him have an opinion” were just poorly written episodes to make the plot happen; they weren’t supposed to be partial to their relationship. “No Time Like the Past” was just a way to get Eugene to accept Cassandra, and “Flynnposter” happened to late, thus there wasn’t enough time for the writers to address Eugene’s feelings. The writers bent the plot towards Cassandra and Rapunzel’s conflicted relationship, and they made writing mistakes in the process.

People are so quick to point out the flaws in their relationship, but they don’t even try to understand the reasons for them or how they handle them. People who dislike something tend to be biased, and that makes me sad.

[linenflower]

Tangled alternate universe

Little clarifications.

I thought about this idea while in the shower

My first language is spanish, I apologize for any mistakes

The history is a lot similar to the original with some changes

This could be cringy

This is entierly my imagination and I'm not flawless

Finally, this is my first time writing an idea like this

I was thinking in some kind of alternate universe, like a parallel timeline and I came up with something incredible.

So, what if when Rapunzel traveled back in time during the episode "No time like the past" she created a whole new series of events and a new chronology. When she lectures Eugene, his personality changes and he mentally grows in another direction. He values friendship and companionship more. He reflects more on his actions, he's a little less egocentric, he's still with Stalyan but they are still a couple of thieves.

By the time Rapunzel is 18, Eugene steals the tiara with his girfriend/fiancee (during the years and a new point of view, they have grown closer and they are a more mature couple, they really know each other, and as we saw during the series, Stalyan isn't really a bad person). The pair arrives at the tower, followed by Max, they are knocked out by Rapunzel, the story continues in a similar way as the original movie: the deal about the tiara and the lanterns. During the I've got a Dream song, Eguene and Stalyan want an island filled with money away from the Baron (In this timeline, both had escaped Vardaron and the Baron hoping to create a new and free life, the Baron hires the Stabbington brothers to bring the couple back).

Following the reveal of Rapunzels powers, during a midnight conversation, Rapunzel is amazed by the love displayed betwen Eugene and Stalyan. Her dream now is not just seeing the lanterns but also falling in love. Gothel confronts Rapunzel, mother knows best reprise, and all that. By the time they arrive at Corona, Eugene and Stalyan had become like big siblings to Rapunzel.

During the day celebrating, Rapunzel sumbles upon a handmaiden from the castle, their eyes meet for just a second, both felt something in their chests for just a second, the woman became lost within the dancing crowd. Rapunzel was left confusied, only remebering those beautiful hazel eyes in a light blue dress.

In the night, the trio saw the lanterns, Rapunzel praises and thanks Eugene and Stalyan for everything, she gives them the tiara, they refuse it. In land, Eugene and Stalyan argue about the tiara and finally being able to live freely. Stalyan says that they can now leave everything beyond but Eugene is hesitant. Suddenly the Stabbington brothers appear catching them off guard. Like in the movie, Gothel had manipulated the brothers, the boat setup happens, Rapunzel is brought back to the tower and the death sentence.

With the help of Max and the Snuggly Duckling gang, Eugene and Stalyan escape prison and head to the tower. While climbing the tower, Stalyan is able to enter but Gothel stabs her and closes the window. Stalyan tries to crawl near Rapunzel but Gothel stops her. Gothel then tells Rapunzel how Stalyan was willing to leave her with the tiara. Rapunzel starts to cry but Stalyan, seeing the end near tells her about being scared, about how she has been scared of her father in the same way Rapunzel is scared of her mother, but unlike her, Rapunzel was willing to stand up and build her freedom.

Rapunzel then confronts her mother, saying that if she doesn't let her heal Stalyan, she will cut her hair. Gothe agrees and sets Rapunzel free, she aproaches her friend and when about to heal her, Stalyan apologizes and cuts Rapunzels hair. Gothel panics and taking advantage of the situation, Pascal commits murder opening the window and pushing Gothel out of it. Eugene finally enters the room only to find her love lying in the ground. He starts crying, making Rapunzel do the same.

When the first of Rapunzels tears land on Stalyans face, a light starts to emerge from her wound. Fine yellow strokes of the sundrop comence to flood the room. Stalyans eyes open and she thanks Rapunzel for giving her a the leap to have strenght in herself.

The trio travel again to Corona so that Rapunzel can reunite with her parents. They hug Rapunzel and shortly after Eugene and Stalyan too. Smiles and tears are shed.

The history ends with Rapunzel narrating her history, now wondering about her life in this new happily ever after. Eugene is seen holding the tiara and running in the palace halls trying to escape Rapunzel, only to trip over the new princess' lady in wating. She then gives the tiara back to Rapunzel, making their eyes cross again. Rapunzel thanks her and both share a smile.

The end

Congratulations to those who made it this far!! Well, so that's it, my reimagination of Tangled. Fell free to comment, I accept polite critique. Imaginig this scenario was awesome and if any one is curious, yeah, I made all this alternate universe so that Rapunzel is single when she meets Cassandra. In the future I'll try to expand in the history, maybe create a real fic or something, but only if the college lets me. Anyone is free to base more tales, draws, comics, or anything from this.

That's all for now! :D

[bestworstcase]

6, 7, and 9 for the Tangled ask meme!!

post-series questions

6. What did you think of Zhan Tiri as the big bad?

stares at blog    Well, 

watching season three was a bit of an exercise in managing expectations and constantly reminding myself that at the end of the day this is a children’s show on disney channel and they were never going to go as hard with the horrifying protean eldritch horror angle as i would have liked, but i’ve been super into zhan tiri as a concept since queen for a day and when i watched painter’s block for the first time i was delighted because it seemed like a pretty strong signal that zhan tiri wouldn’t be a one time deal; i love the lore and her eclectic aesthetic and her quirky followers and the gremlin baby look (shdhsfbdsh), i love the manipulative chessmaster angle.

also season three validated a lot of the way i wrote zhan tiri pre-season three; i had her pegged as a skillful manipulator and in once a handmaiden in particular… man, the bitter snow vibes were strong in handmaiden. and it’s a sort of small silly thing the way she introduces herself to rapunzel and cassandra by making them say her name gave me so much life because that’s how i did it in bitter snow too (and so did pathygen in strings which everybody should read) and i love winning

and when season three wasn’t validating my headcanons it was very politely leaving them untouched. i think the only zhan tiri headcanon of mine that season three broke was the specific nature of her manipulation of demanitus, wherein i imagined her betraying him first. 

my one disappointment is with… sort of everything after she actually gets her hands on the drops. my favorite thing about zhan tiri throughout the rest of season three was that, despite her evidently having powers once she was released in cassandra’s revenge,* she still relied on manipulation to get what she wanted. she earned every single one of her wins by out-thinking, out-planning and out-maneuvering her opponents and i love that it’s so unclear whether being in the lost realm for two thousand years weakened her or if she just prefers to achieve her ends through cunning and artifice. also a boomerang is such a thematically perfect weapon for her to use because it requires precision, skill, and forethought and it attacks in ways and from angles that most people don’t think to defend. 

(*she floats in cassandra’s revenge; teleports in race to the spire at least once and i think arguably twice [the spire appears to have only one entrance, and ziti either sneaks back in through it while rapunzel and eugene are right there, or she teleports in behind the staircase]; possibly teleports and possibly is invisible in tale of two sisters given how quickly she pops in and out and the fact that cass doesn’t see her even though she’s in cass’s line of sight when she slips the broken mirror into rapunzel’s bag; gives cass some kind of telepathic glimpse into her own mind in handmaiden and again, more implied teleporting and invisibility plus the grapes and potion which personally i think she just conjured; and in plus est en vous we see her shapeshift on a small scale when she goes full gremlin and hisses at rapunzel. plus there’s the recurring theme of her shadow appearing as the monster form.)

my absolute favorite zhan tiri moments are when, in race to the spire, she steals the key from rapunzel by throwing the boomerang directly underneath rapunzel’s hand, causing rapunzel to reflexively lift her hand into the returning flight path, allowing the boomerang to snatch the key on its way back; and the implication in plus est en vous that zhan tiri (1) knew cass didn’t trust her, (2) would react to this distrust by putting her in a rock cage, and (3) would forget to extend the rock cage through the floor on which it sat, and to counter this she picked up a vial of acid in the demanitus chamber hours before cass actually turned against her. both are small moments that suggest so much cleverness, foresight, ability to improvise, to use people’s strengths and weaknesses to her advantage, to always have a contingency plan. also it’s funny as hell

so when she got her hands on the drops, turned into a giant monster, and just clobbered everyone through raw brute strength… i mean, don’t get me wrong, that was cool and i loved every second of it but it was also, kind of, zhan tiri where did your brain go? and i know the point is that she gets what she wants and arrogantly assumes nobody can stand against her now, but the thing is… zhan tiri just spent a whole season running around in the tiny body of a six year old and relying on mundane methods and the occasional magical party trick to get what she wants so it does feel a little out of character to me that she would take this left turn into Raw Power Is The Only Thing That Matters when cleverness has always been her greatest asset.

then again if she had kept her brain she probably would have won so like +1 for the demonic idiot ball for saving the day lmao

bonus round: look at all my ziti discord emojis i love her SO MUCH

7. Do you have any post-series headcanons?

almost all of my non-zhan tiri headcanons revolve around bitter snow / the saporian cass au/rewrite thing i’m writing so i haven’t even begun to consider post-series headcanon stuff but i will say that immediately after the group shot at the end of plus est stalyan dumps brock and hooks up with caine and they run off and become pirate queens together and also sing a lot it’s a crime they didn’t let laura benanti sing

9. Pick your top 3 favorite songs from the series.

1. crossing the line 

2. waiting in the wings

3. ready as i’ll ever be

[sonnenstola]

below the cut is my essay of thoughts on sunday’s episode because i don’t want to Spoil anything big for those who haven’t had the chance to watch yet!!

okay, so i want to start by saying that this episode wasn’t as cringe-inducing as i’d feared. because i wasn’t ready for proposal 2.0, honestly. i wouldn’t make it through another public proposal and rejection. i’d be closing shop and skedaddling my way out the door to canon divergency. but the fact that he didn’t outright ask and knew to backtrack ( however poorly ) was enough to keep me rooted in my seat, though i do want to pause and go over the proposal and his intentions real quick.

i would like to remind everyone that eugene died for rapunzel’s freedom. because he loves her and understands how much her freedom means to her and this should be recognized more. yes, it’s his dream to settle down and live a relaxed life with the woman he loves because he’s done the adventure thing as flynn and is ready to close that chapter, but because rapunzel is experiencing it all for the first time he’s willing to journey on beside her. he’s seeing the world fresh, as eugene fitzherbert instead of flynn rider, and he’s finding new things about it through rapunzel’s wonder and enthusiasm for the world!! he appreciates said wonder and enthusiasm!! so can someone please tell me why the assumption is that he expects an immediate wedding post-proposal??? 

maybe the first time around, sure, but as he admits ( not to rapunzel which i’m still salty about ) it was out of fear that what he had was good and he didn’t want to lose it. this second time they’re out on a mission-- to find out what the black rocks are leading them to and how they can save corona. they’ve been on the road for a week, and he’s planning on proposing again. there’s no way he’s thinking ‘if i propose now and she says yes we’re gonna turn around and have a wedding and just settle down’. he’s not trying to immediately tie her down and throw a big wedding and lead domestic lives at the castle. they were still going to go through with the mission and have the grand adventure that goes along with it! i just don’t understand the train of thought here because eugene fitzherbert cherishes rapunzel and her feelings and dreams and wouldn’t actively try and cut her wings.

that said, i think the ‘people telling eugene the proposal is dumb’ thing got waaay overdone in this episode. we already had him dealing with people giving him a hard time in the season one premiere, it really wasn’t necessary to have so many people continue to harp on the subject this time around, especially not after he did it and clearly didn’t want to talk about it anymore. but honestly, bless cassandra for stepping in and being the one to point out that eugene was clearly not behaving like himself/something wasn’t right. that whole scene showed so much growth and i loved every second of it. 

i’d like to point out the eugene and stalyan dynamic now. because hoooo there’s a lot to unpack there. i was right to be wary about her character, because she was manipulative and downright a stereotypical mean girl love rival. the fact that her face kinda looked like jane’s from tarzan threw me for a bit, but i did like some of the material given to her. while it made me want to fight her, i did enjoy the way she refused to call him eugene and stubbornly just called him ‘rider’, as it made the way rapunzel say his name become something emphasized. stalyan’s repetition of ‘we’re meant to be’ and ‘this is how it’s supposed to be’ and stuff along those lines was oddly contrasted by her ( in my eugene-loving opinion ) gut-wrenching ‘do you really think it’s fair to ask a girl who spent the first 18 years of her life in prison to give up her freedom for a lifelong relationship with someone like you?’. it sounds like he’s not worthy of rapunzel, yet stalyan’s fighting tooth and nail to have him for herself. of course this is a manipulation tactic, trying to knock down his esteem and faith in his relationship with rapunzels and its strength, but it just comes off a little backwards. but man, the look on his face when she said that made me want to cry. you can see him doubting for a moment, doubting that he was enough for princess rapunzel of corona.

i want to know exactly what went down between him and stalyan. i want to know why they were going to be married, what the circumstances were, and why it fell apart. he clearly didn’t have any genuine feelings for her based on the way he reacted to seeing her, because there wasn’t any guilt to be found there. if he truly cared about her, he’d have felt some guilt for ditching her at the altar! my assumption ( which may or may not turn into headcanon based on the information the series gives us if it gives us more on that whole shebang ) is that it was a way to get closer to the baron’s wealth, or at least the status of thief flynn was aiming for. he may not have planned to follow through with the wedding, but an engagement was a way to get him into that inner circle. whatever he did to her, whether he used her or not, i still fumed when she smacked him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also can we address the fact that eugene fitzherbert was willing to give up his dream, everything he had and made for himself, for lance? lance is really the only family he has, the closest thing he’s ever had to it at least, and it makes total sense that eugene would sacrifice all he has to save him. lance didn’t have to stick around, lance didn’t have to make the attempt to stick to the straight path, but he did and eugene is grateful to have such a dear face who knows all sides of him around. the guilt he must have been wracked with that whole time must have been overwhelming, and it shows in the constant concern he shows whenever lance is near. eugene recognizes that this whole ordeal is his fault, and takes responsibility for it too. so rather than let the person most important to him die, eugene is willing to sign himself up for a lifetime of misery, danger, and loneliness ( he’d miss the life and love he had ). the fact that eugene was able to tell lance that he loved him was just. really special to see and it definitely stuck with me. 

on a final note because this has run on waaay too long as it is, it’s never really explained why rapunzel wanted to propose. was it guilt? fear? regret?or did she genuinely want to marry him? it’s a very awkward bit of dialogue, him shutting her proposal down and her dealing with it. usually it’s fairly easy to tell how a character feels through expressions/voice inflections/etc, but rapunzel was a hard read in that moment. obviously eugene still wants to get married, and now we’re sort of set up to believe rapunzel does too, but?? she doesn’t fight him on it, insist it’s what she wants, but she doesn’t look relieved to hear he’s compromising either, despite her saying that she was glad they were on the same page. i just. i want to know what her confusion between saying yes or no was, and how she feels about marrying eugene now. 

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Eye of Pincosta

So this is an episode that really didn’t need to exist, and I say that as a Styalan defender. The writers took a perfect opportunity have the characters actually learn and grown and bypass it all for a contrived performative fake out redemption. 

Summary:  The group arrive in the town of Pincosta, but Eugene is immediately thrown in jail for having previously stolen the town's largest diamond, the Eye of Pincosta. The sheriff declares Eugene to work in the deadly copper mines and soon the rest of the group are thrown in jail. Rapunzel negotiates with the sheriff, offering to find and retrieve the Eye of Pincosta in exchange for Eugene and the group's release. The sheriff agrees, but on the condition that Rapunzel returns in two days. Rapunzel confronts Eugene about the theft and reluctantly, Eugene reveals he previously worked together with Stalyan, forcing Rapunzel to seek out Stalyan and persuades her to help.

So Why Didn’t Eugene Just Stay Behind With the Caravan?

Like it doesn’t take all six of you to buy and carry food back to the caravan; which they don’t take into the town anyways. Especially when you have two horses you can use. So why bring Eugene along when you know he could be arrested? 

Pointing Out the Flaw In Your Writing Doesn’t Make It Any Less of a Flaw

No seriously, why didn’t he stay with the caravan? You need someone to watch over your stuff anyways if your going to leave it behind and Eugene is the perfect candidate for that. And even if you did need everyone to stick together, which you don’t, then bring the camper with you and let Eugene ride inside of it unseen. It’s not like the towns roads are too small for it or anything and it’ll save you from having to carry your stuff. 

If you have to turn your characters into sudden idiots for no discernible reason to make your plot happen then you haven’t a good plot. Start over and come up with something else. Like maybe have Eugene not realize that he is wanted here because it was so long ago or have the guards randomly check their caravan where he’s hiding out because Styalan’s back into town, or something. Anything so long as it doesn’t make the mains stupid. 

You’re Literally The Princess of Powerful Kingdom; Use That! 

Ok, from what background info we get here, Pincosta isn’t even a fully fledged kingdom. It’s a hamlet, which is smaller than even a village. We get no indication what ‘land’ it belongs to, but it shares a kingdom with the larger town of Zulberg, which is one of the running gags in the first half of the episode. 

What all this means is that Rapunzel is still the most powerful person in the room. She’s the heir apparent to the throne of a prosperous kingdom that has ties with a large trading network with bunch of other power kingdoms. Locking up her boyfriend and the future prince consort of said kingdom can be perceived as an act of war. 

The series is trying to lead into Rapunzel becoming queen, but that means she needs to take advantage of her position and perform queenly like tasks. Like negotiating international incidents like this one, and simply complying to the city’s laws as if she was some random traveler doesn’t cut it. 

Oh, So Now You Care!

Rapunzel, where the fuck do you think that prison barge was heading to just two episodes back? The same prison barge that your friend Attila was being threatened with. The same prison barge that victims of Corona’s corrupt justice system, like say Varian, are threatened with on top of the inhumane conditions of those dungeon cells that you locked your two best friends in back in season one. 

Do not tell me Rapunzel is some kind and caring person if she only gives a damn about unjust treatment when it only affects her or someone she already cares about.     

This Is Stealing Agency Away From Eugene 

Rapunzel is not the one responsible for Eugene’s mistakes. She can help to some degree, like using her political power to pull some strings, but she doesn’t need to be the one to make reparations for his actions; that’s on him. 

Or rather it should be on him. This should be his episode. The one where he grows as a person as he makes up for past deeds. Because redemption isn’t just about never doing bad things again, it’s also about making amends for what you did wrong. 

That’s where this series fails and why the whole ‘It’s Rapunzel’s Story’ mantra is hollow. For starters it’s not just Rapunzel’s story. The series isn’t structured to be that way because it’s based off of a movie with two protagonists. It’s Eugene’s story as well. It’s also Cassandra’s and Varian’s story because as the main antagonists they further the conflict. 

But it also fails because Rapunzel is just thrown into other people’s stories instead of being given her own. Rapunzel never learns anything from this adventure. Stalyan does, and Stalyan is never seen again after this episode. Having Rapunzel teach other random people lessons is counterintuitive to what the series wants to be. If it’s meant to be a coming of age story where Rapunzel learns about the real world, then she can’t be automatically in the right every episode.   

Well Ain’t That Convenient  

So Stalyan is needed to find this diamond that she and Eugene stole in order to free Eugene. Yet it’s never stated how Rapunzel finds Stalyan, especially so quickly. Last we saw her she had just left Varados and that was months ago. She could have been anywhere by this time. 

So why is she near the same town where she’d still be wanted for arrest at? Where’s a her dad, who was dying from poison when we last saw him? What has she been up to? How did Rapunzel even know she was here? 

Like you need to establish crap like this, otherwise it’s just a major plot hole. 

So Why Stalyan? 

This episode could have gone to just about anybody. Eugene, Lance, Lady Caine, fucking Shorty... Like I’d even take Hookfoot over this. He’s at least there for more than two episodes. 

So why Stalyan? Why does she get a focus episode when we’ll never see her again? How come she’s ‘redeemed’ but not any of the other criminals on the prison barge? Like the series wants to act as if Rapunzel is this really forgiving person who believes in second chances but only four villains out of twenty get redemptions. 4 out of 20! What makes Stalyan so special that she gets to be one of those few select four and not say Lady Caine, Dwayne, or Andrew and the Saporians? 

This Should Have Been a Lance and Rapunzel Team Up Instead

Keep in mind when I say this episode could have focused on anybody, I do mean it. You get creative enough this initial setup could have featured any two characters you wanted interacting. Lance and Eugene, Eugene and Rapunzel, Eugene and Stalyan, Eugene and Cassandra, Lance and Cassandra or maybe even Caine and Rapunzel, and reveal how Eugene knew Caine back in the pilot episode. Like there’s a lot of possibilities here. 

For my money though, this should have been a Lance and Rapunzel episode. Because we don’t get any Lance and Rapunzel episodes. We don't even get any Lance episodes after his introduction. All his development, what little there is, is shoved into the b-plot of other characters’ focus episodes. He also barely interacts with the series main character despite being her boyfriend’s BFF and living with her on the road for year. That’s ridiculous. 

All you needed to do was make Lance Eugene’s partner and have Lance make up for his past deeds to try and free his friends. Boom! 

Why Didn’t You Bring Anything With You Raps?

We see at the end that the caravan was parked outside of town this whole time. She still has the key to get out any money that she needed, the pick of two horses that can’t fit inside of a cell anyways, and oh yeah probably a canteen to use.

Furthermore, she’s a fucking princess!!! She’s has credit and clout and can just get whatever she damn near wants just by asking; because she’s not your average person on the street like us. 

I’m not going to feel sorry for the main protagonist when the main protagonist is an idiot who does these things to herself and makes life harder for everyone needlessly.  

Rapunzel Has a Stunted Grasp of Ethics 

Stalyan’s not wrong here. Unless you have an alternative, like your own horse or money to buy horses, that you decided to leave behind as well for some undefined reason, then yeah, you needed horses. Your friends lives are at stake woman! 

I touched on this back in my TAR review, but the show leans heavily into authoritarian beliefs because it provides childish lessons for adult situations.  

‘Stealing is always wrong no matter what’ is the thought process of a child. It does not take into account how systems of governments can stack the deck against certain groups of people, nor how sometimes emergencies come up and you got to deal them in the moment and make amends later. 

And you know what, I’m not taking ‘it’s a show for kids’ as an excuse here. Children shows very much can introduce comlex themes and grey morals and plenty already have. If you make classism a major theme of your story then you need to actually address it, and that starts by having your main character acknowledge it. 

This could have been the perfect opportunity for Rapunzel to grow. Up till now she’s always had her physical needs provided for her. Since her escape from the tower she’s also been thoroughly spoiled. Have her come down off her high horse and see how the other half lives. See first hand what Eugene and the pub thugs had to do to survive before they met her.      

Have her things actually be confiscated. Have her princess title mean nothing cause no one knows her or believes her. Have Corona not recognized in this part of the world. You want to be the underdog then make her an actual underdog and have her learn from it.  

Because Rapunzel having the moral outlook of child makes sense given her backstory, but she can’t stay that way. We all have to grow up sometime, we all have to learn the harsher truths of this world, and this is suppose to be a coming of age story. 

So How Does Stalyan Know Where the Eye Is But Not Eugene?

If Eugene is the one who lost it, then how come he didn’t know where it was at? Why couldn’t he just have told Rapunzel all of this and left Staylan out of the picture? Also how do you know if Goodberry even still has it if it’s been years ago? How do you know where Goodberry is? It’s awfully convenient that he never moved in all that time and that he’s so close to the town of Pincosta. 

Once again, plot holes. 

Stalyan is a Poor Man’s Sadira

So for those of you who aren’t 90s kids like myself, Sadira is a villian from the Aladdin tv series. She’s basically Stalyan but done better. 

Things they have in common 

their goals are to marry the main hero, who are ex-thieves

both are jealous of the main heroines who are princesses 

both are thieves themselves and have lived their whole lives as such 

both believe they belong with the hero because they come from a common background 

both resort to dubious means to win the heart of the hero

both try to get rid of the heroines but never resort to killing them out right 

both are redeemed and eventually befriends the princesses 

You know what the difference between the two of them is? 

Sadira is actions are actually worse than Staylan’s but she’s given enough screen time and focus to come across as sympathetic to the audience. 

I’m serious. Stalyan is an ex who was left at the altar by her douchey boyfriend, but their relationship was so toxic that she can’t understand that she’s actually better off without him nor accept that he left her for someone else. So she tries manipulating him into coming back to her, while her dad does some messed up blackmail and poisoning that she didn’t agree to but went along with anyways. 

Meanwhile Sadria is a straight up stalker. She doesn’t even meet Aladdin until after the events of the first film, and he makes it clear to her from the get go that he’s in a committed relationship with someone else and isn’t interested in her. But Sadria tries episode after episode to ‘win’ him resorting to mindwipes, kidnapping, and even alternating reality. 

But we actually see things from Sadria’s perspective. It’s made clear that she has no one and nothing. Aladdin is the first person to show her kindness and so she latches onto him. Sure it’s unhealthy and the series calls it out as such, but by the time she has acknowledged this and befriends Jasmine the audience now understands her and feels sympathy for her.   

We get no such focus for Stalyan. Not even in her redemption episode. We still don't know why she wants to be with Eugene after he’s treated her so badly. We still don't have any clue what their relationship was like before the breakup, or even when the breakup happened. (I still think it was during the events of the movie and that he left her for Rapunzel, but it’s left open) It’s hard to relate to or feel sorry for Stakyan when we know nothing about her and haven’t seen this ‘good side’ Rapunzel keeps talking about for ourselves. 

Even though theoretically she should be very sympathetic because of the way Eugene treated her, and because her actions thus far are relatively tame compared to most of the villains in the show. 

Just Because Other Places in the World Are As Bad as Corona, Doesn’t Mean That Frederic Is Excused For His Behavior 

This show thinks it’s a okay to introduce horrible crap so long as it’s done in a comedic way and not focused on, but this isn’t The Office. You can’t use a corrupt legal system and authoritarians abusing their power as the crux of your main conflict in season one and then expect us to just laugh off jokes like this one. Or the one about tailor getting locked up for ripping Frederic’s robe. Or find young Lance trapped in a cell with Shorty being fed gruel as funny. 

Like, even if you do laugh at these jokes at first in the moment, once you stop to think about them, it just shows how awful Frederic and Rapunzel are, how awful the system is, and that change needs to happen. But it can’t happen if Rapunzel and the show doesn’t acknowledge that such things are wrong. That they are more than jokes. 

The serious story that the writers want to tell is undermined by the comedy, and the comedic moments are undermined by the existence of the more serious drama.   

So is this a sitcom or a drama? It can’t be both, not when dealing with such high stakes. 

Sitcoms work because they’re low stakes. Few characters are affected and most situations aren’t life and death. Even in dark comedies where death is often the joke, it’s because death is seen as unimportant, something to be casted aside, and it’s funny because it’s disrespectful. But the moment you call to attention just how messed up everything really is, and how awful death can be, then it’s suddenly no longer funny. Especially if it’s innocents who are getting hurt. Dark comedies also work because it’s often computuance for characters who are awful people. 

That’s not what TTS is, so it’s attempts at being like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Rick and Morty just doesn’t work and comes across as tone deaf. 

Also why are the dang horses in the cell with the humans? They’re horses! 

So What Exactly Is Stalyan’s Plan Here?

No seriously, what is her thought processes here? The audience isn’t mind readers. We need know why the characters do the things they do. 

Why is Stalyan still hung up on Eugene? Why does Stalyan think he’ll take her back if she shows up to free him without Rapunzel? What is she going to say when he asks about Raps and why would he even believe her to begin with? 

What does ‘A thief belongs with a thief’ even mean!!? We have no context for this cause we have no context for their relationship! 

This episode could have provided us with some context, some cule of why Stalyan and Eugene were together for so long, why they broke up, why she still wants to be with him, why she thinks he’ll return to her even now, but nope! We gotta have a stupid parody wrestling match.  

Oh joy. 

This Is a Guilt Trip, Not a Redemption 

Rapunzel is full of shit. 

If she honestly believed that there was ‘good in everybody’ then why did she send Caine off on the prison barge without even trying to relate to her? Why didn’t she try to befriend Weasel instead of fighting him off? Why is Varian currently sitting in a jail cell right now!!!  

Here’s why Stalyan was ‘redeemed’ and not the others. 

Rapunzel needed something from her. 

Rapunzel guilt trips, manipulates, and coerces Stalyan into helping her. She doesn’t actually give a damn about whether or not Stalyan ‘does the right thing’ so long as she gets what she wants; Eugene’s freedom and his heart.

Sure Stalyan probably should turn away from her life of crime. She should let go of her obsession with Eugene. She should return the eye that she stole and start making up for her past. But you know what? 

None of those things have anything to do with Rapunzel! 

Stalyan needs to come to those decisions herself in order for this to be a proper redemption. If Rapunzel is involved in any of that then it can’t be with the condition that she’s gaining something from it. It’s not true compassion if you have an ulterior motive for what you do.   

This Confession Might Actually Have Meant Something If We Had Any Actual Context! 

This doesn’t tell me anything. 

Why would Stalyan only see ‘a thief’? She loved him enough to want to marry him and has known him for years. Sure she may have accepted that he was a thief, encouraged it even, but there’s got to be other reasons why she dated him. Other reasons for why she wanted him back. 

Also why does this come back to Rapunzel specifically? Is she the reason why he left Staylan at the altar? And even so, why is that a reason to give Eugene a free pass? Is it just because she’s the protag and now they’re friends suddenly? 

In fact if you are friends now, then Rapunzel deserves to know the truth of who she plans on marrying and come to the decision if he’s worth it. If he really has changed, not just in terms of being an ex-thief but also in how he handles relationships. 

We the audience deserve to know too. 

Redemption Shouldn’t be Tied to Friendship With Rapunzel 

Eugene becoming inspired to be a better person because he fell in love with someone is one thing. Rapunzel only forgiving people because they’ll befriend her is entirely another. Especially when two of the main villains become villains after they stop being friends with her. 

It sends out a really gross message of favoritism and not letting go of toxic relationships, while also placing Rapunzel too high upon a pedestal.   

Rapunzel Can’t Forgive Stalyan In Eugene’s Place 

I’d be pretty upset if my current spouse just said that my abusive ex ‘was not that bad’.

Like, fuck both of you. 

And yes, I did defend Stalyan in Beyond the Corona Walls, and I did say that we didn’t have enough context to claim she was abusive when they were in a relationship. After the breakup tho? Yeah, yeah she was abusive then. You don't have to be in a relationship in order to bully someone; you just have to have power over them. 

Stalyan hurt Eugene, not Rapunzel. That’s why any redemption with her needed to be with him. They both needed to make amends, forgive each other, and move on. 

This isn’t Rapunzel’s show. 

If the creator wanted it to be her show then he shouldn’t have introduced conflicts that don’t actually involve her, nor characters with higher stakes then her. 

This Doesn’t Feel Earned, and So the Audience Feels Cheated 

And so Stalyan rides off into the sunset rich to live happily ever after presumably as a thief still, and no one gave a shit.  

No one was asking for this. No one cared about Stalyan. Worse the writer failed to make us care. Ergo this whole episode feels like a waste and it is. 

Conclusion 

Much like the rest of season two this is pure filler, and not even good fun filler; like with the mermaid episode or the pirate episode. Worse it’s very existence actually diminishes Rapunzel as a character rather than build her up. So it fails in its sole purpose as a story. 

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Beyond the Corona Walls Part 2

Part two is here, so let’s get on with the rest of the stupid shall we...

You can find part 1 here - https://rachelbethhines.tumblr.com/post/624977559380213760/tangled-salt-marathon-beyond-the-corona-walls

Summary: Rapunzel and the group return to Vardaros to find Eugene, only to learn about his engagement to Stalyan, leaving Rapunzel heartbroken and regretting her decision on rejecting Eugene's marriage proposal. However, after being encouraged by Cassandra, Rapunzel returns to Vardaros and stops the wedding between Eugene and Stalyan. Meanwhile, Adria gives Raps another piece of the scroll and an ominous hint to her future. 

So Why is the Baron Still Operating If Both Raps and Eugene Know Who He Is?

Keep in mind this guy still has a house in Corona that they know about, he’s still a crime boss who’s criminal actions still affect their kingdom, and they both have the ear of the man who is in charge of running things and who has had a vested interest in cracking down on crime for the past 19 years. So why hasn’t Frederic gone after this dude? You can’t say it’s because he’s hiding out here, when he has a base of operations and living quarters in the kingdom itself. And if it’s because he has money, then that’s just further proof that Frederic is corrupt. 

The Writers Undermine Themselves When They Try to Make Conflicts Lopsided

So the writers are trying to have their cake and eat it too in this episode. They want to make Stalyan just unlikeable enough so that the audience won’t hold Eugene accountable for his past actions, but not so unlikable that she’s irremediable later. Hence the excuse that the blackmail is her dad’s idea and that she still believes that Eugene is really in love with her and is just playing hard to get. 

The problem is, by having Stalyan still aware of the situation and complacent in this plan instead of fighting against it, the audience isn’t inclined to see things her way and less inclined to give her a second chance when they try to pull her redemption later. 

Moreover, this also undermines Eugene’s character arc as well, because him learning to be more responsible has to include acknowledgement of his past wrongs. Instead all he does is make excuses or look vaguely guilty over shit that’s only implied not stated. There’s no outright admittance of wrong nor apology for the way he treated her. 

Staylan can’t be sympathetic later on if don't show things from her perspective in the now and Eugene can’t grow as a character if he doesn’t realize what he’s done wrong specifically. 

Context Is Key 

Yeah, that’s a lot of screenshots, I know, but you need to hear/read the line in full. Because there’s not enough context within the episode to make this line work. 

What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up? When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar? Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps? And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less! 

Now we get hints to answer some of those questions, but none of those hints are in the actual episode itself. Hence the main failing of the episode. That’s because the writers still don’t want to admit fault in their mains. Because, at the end of the day, for all of their talk about how ‘it’s not a kids show’, they can’t or won’t tackle actual mature topics like ‘relationships are hard and failed ones can be the fault of both parties or neither party’. 

‘Contrived Misunderstanding’ Is Literally the Dumbest Plot Point Ever

Unless you are the Bard of Avon risen from the unholy grave himself, don’t fucking do this. Even then I still criticize Shakespeare heavily for bullcrap like this. It’s lazy and more over it’s not fun. 

We already know what the ending outcome is going to be so there’s no tension to be had here. It’s just a cheap way to have conflict between the mains without having them actually address shit or grow as people. Instead of having believable conflicts where people have competing needs or desires, they just throw Stalyan in here to be a scapegoat; and then throw the Baron in here on top of that to be her scapegoat. 

So Let’s Talk About Staylan’s Thought Process Here

Okay, if we’re to make any sense of Staylan’s actions here, we have to answer some of those above questions. 

What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up?

We honestly don’t know what their relationship was like. We never see them before the break up, only afterwards, and that’s not a good indicator of anything really. All we know are five things; 

Eugene wasn’t a very good person during his Flynn Rider days

He is hinted to be a former womanizer in both the movie and during certain points in season one (the threesome joke in TRoS comes most to mind)

He left Staylan at the altar instead of being the bigger person and breaking things off with her respectfully

He’s known Staylan since they were both teenagers (he’s had a crush on her since they were 15/16) and they’ve been in some sort of long term relationship for some undetermined amount of time

They use to pull jobs together, with Staylan sometimes goating him on, possibly taking charge most of the time.

That’s it. That’s all we got. You can’t really judge Stalyan based off that information alone. All we get from this is that she’s sometimes bossy and probably a little spoiled, but so is Rapunzel honestly, and neither of those things mean that they’re abusive on their own. If anything, knowing those things actually puts Eugene in more of a bad light, but he’s pulling the woobie card here; so you’re not meant to think about those things in the moment which is manipulative writing.  

When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar?

Now here’s the million dollar question, because honestly the show doesn’t give us a consistent time frame of events and contradicts itself all the time. Some have argued that the break up happened eight years ago when the Baron screwed Eugene and Lance over during that robbery flashback in TRoS. Yet in Flynnpostor the Baron says that he had hired Eugene to steal the crown in the movie indicating that they were still working together all the way up until he met Rapunzel. 

So which is it? Cause either answer drastically changes the context of his relationship with Staylan, their subsequent break up, and informs the motivation behind Stalyan’s words and actions. 

Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps?

Here’s what I think went down, and what I think the writers are trying to poorly imply here. 

Eugene and Staylan had a tremulous on again/off again relationship for several years; where she’d be bratty and controlling and he’d cheat on her and/or leave, only, for whatever reason, to come crawling back and she’d ultimately ‘forgive’ him and they start at square one. The ‘leave her at the altar’ can’t be a one and done thing otherwise she wouldn’t be conditioned to take him back so readily, nor believe his relationship with Raps isn’t serious. 

In fact, if we take ‘stealing the crown for the Baron’ thing at face value then it implies he stood Stalyan up just to be with Rapunzel. Which makes sense as no self respecting woman would wait around for 8 flipping years. One year is already pushing things as is, but if Eugene has a history of con artistry and cheating then, yeah, she could convince herself that Eugene is pulling a scam and still loves her instead. 

To Staylan’s mind, she’s just trying to convince Eugene to give up his cushy life of royalty to live with her in a less comfortable but ultimately ‘truer’ way of life. She doesn’t see it as asking him to choose between her and Rapunzel cause she doesn’t see that what he has with Rapunzel as love. She thinks he’s faking it, like always. She thinks that ‘Eugene’ is his latest con and that Flynn Rider is his true identity. 

And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less!

Well the real reason is cause the writers have really messed up ideas about marriage, but the in universe reason is that Staylan sees ‘love’ as ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eugene, or ‘Flynn’, doesn’t have to pretend with her. She knows every awful thing about him, been hurt by him, and she still takes him back, and vise versa. Their on again/off again relationship has convinced her that putting up with mistreatment means that you must really love that person. She doesn’t understand that people can change and grow and that being in a healthy relationship requires both of those things. 

That’s the only interpretation of their relationship that actually makes sense of Stalyan���s actions to my mind. Feel free to interpret it another way if you’d like, because we really have no clue. Just don’t try to pass off you’re interpretation as fact. And if you still see Staylan as the only person in the wrong here; I have to ask you to ask yourself why? Is it the manipulative writing, is it cause she’s not conventionally ‘nice’ like Rapunzel, or is just cause you see her as a threat to New Dream? Because holding her actually accountable for her actions is one thing, calling her ‘a child abuser’ (fandom’s words not mine) just cause she’s a bitchy and bitter ex is another thing entirely. (also they’re the same freaking age what the hell tumblr) 

This Song Would Hold More Weight If They Gave Us an Actual Real Interpersonal Conflict 

I’m just going to split ball a few ideas here, just to show what we potentially missed out on..

Stalyan is blissfuly unaware of the Baron’s plot, meaning Eugene now has to wrestle with admitting the truth of his past actions to her, along with keeping Lance safe, and trying to figure out a way to save his relationship with Rapunzel 

There’s is no Baron involvement, Stalyan is his ex, but he comes to realize that they have more in common than he and Raps does. Meaning that the narrative has to actually address his and Rapunzel’s relationship issues; like their lack of communication and their seemingly conflicting life goals 

Once again, no Baron involvement and Stalyan is his ex, but she’s just a victim Eugene screwed over when he was still Flynn Rider. She warns Rapunzel of what he use to be like and she has to confront the fact that she rushed into a relationship with someone she barely knows while he has to confront the fact that simply giving up his ways isn’t always enough and other people are still hurt by his actions 

Dump the ‘ex’ plot altogether and have Rapunzel meet someone new instead. Have her question if a committed relationship is what she wants, and if Eugene really is the person for her. Address the fact that she has no experiences to in which to judge their relationship by. 

What makes these options stronger is that there’s no clean cut bad guy (except for the Baron). There’s no right or wrong answer to the problem; no easy solution. The less sure an outcome the more tension you can add to the conflict, and these conflicts can go any number of ways; from a temporary break up to a reaffirmation of love.  

That’s mature. That’s complex. That’s not reaching for the easy low hanging fruit. The creators seem to think thing dark, edgy, and shocking is ’deep’ but it’s actually quite shallow, especially when you constantly present one sided conflicts like today’s episode. 

Your Name Literally Means ‘Lettuce’, Rapunzel

Unlike some fans, I don’t mind Rapunzel being jealous and hypocritical. As I said before, I like my heroines to have actual flaws. The problem is that the show goes out of its way to justify her bitchiness instead of calling it for what it is. 

I Don’t Usually Bring Shipping Into These Reviews But,

Eugene and Lance have the healthiest relationship in the show. Like there is zero competition, here. Outside of a few ‘not-so-serious’ crack pairings, like Pete/Stan/Willow or Caine/Trevor, I don't really have any other ‘canon’ ships. I’m like 90% of the time shipping crossover pairings and 90% of those are Varian ships.   

But this is still a flaw because it’s not intentional. The writers genuinely think that New Dream is a healthy romantic pairing and that Cass and Raps are a genuinely good friendship/sibling relationship, but they aren’t. And before you say anything, Casspunzel, isn’t the intent of the creators; regardless if you or some of the non-writing staff ship them. Like, it’s okay to ship them, but they aren’t intentionally written to be romantic any more than Lance and Eugene. 

My point in bringing up all this up is this: A bunch of male writers only knew how to portray a male friendship well; not a female friendship, not a sister relationship, not a mother and child relationship, not a father and child relationship, not a gay romance, not even a het romance. That tells me that the creators on this show have an extremely limited world view. Which you need to expand upon if you have any inspirations as a creative writer.   

You’ll Have an Ice Sculpture of Shorty at Your Wedding, Raps. 

You don’t get to judge, woman. 

I Usually Love the Art Direction on the Show, but, Not Gonna Lie, I’m Disappointed We Didn’t Get an Actual Wedding Dress for Stalyan

This is animated in what? Toonboom? Flash? Would it really have been that time consuming just to make a palette swap of her regular dress here? I mean you made a bunch of new character designs and gave Raps a new outfit just for this episode so clicking a few new swatches on an already existing model doesn’t sound that hard. 

But yes, I’m nitpicking here. That’s cause I hate where all this is going, and I’m trying to put off the inevitable. 

Deactivating the Rocks Was a Mistake 

Like I said, making the rocks no longer a threat means that our heroine no longer has a reason for her quest. You’ve just ended your main conflict and now we’re going to have to sit through a whole season of watching the creators spin their wheels trying to find a new one. While also invalidating both the previous and future conflicts cause all she had to do was touch a rock and that’s it. That’s what this whole story amounts to. 

Also you’re telling me that the main hero was just now willing to risk the life of a bunch of innocent bystanders just cause she be jelly? 

Lack of Remorse Undermines Stalyan’s Future Appearances 

If you want to pawn off the blackmail stuff onto her dad then you need to have her stand up to her dad on screen. Because we get no indication that she learns anything from these events in this episode, we have no reason to root for her redemption later. I mean she’s literally declaring revenge here. 

Say it with me; It’s a lack of setup and resolve. 

Nothing Is Resolved

Rapunzel tries to hold an honest conversation for once and Eugene just shuts her down. Yet, this is presented as a form of positive growth for him? The whole point of their relationship problems is their lack of communication and Rapunzel not being assertive about what she wants. But sure, let's have them still not communicate and have Eugene actively talk over her in order to drag out this plot point that doesn’t need to be dragged out. 

Stop Treating Marriage as a Trap

Okay, first off, she was about to ask you to marry her, you dolt, so stop assuming. Second off, this a really bad lesson and the fact that Rapunzel now feels pressured to lie through her teeth about what she really wants contradicts this whole ‘Rapunzel needs to choose for herself thing’ the story’s got going on.  

I want to make it clear that the writers threw in this ‘forced marriage’ plot not teach Eugene responsibility, you know the thing he actually needs to learn, but to teach him that ‘marriage is bad’. Even though respectfully asking the person you're already in a committed relationship with to marry you is not in any way, shape, or form the same as a bitchy ex blackmailing you into doing something you don’t wanna do. 

Marriage is Not a Trap; Stop Treating It As Such. 

Oh Look, Now It’s Eugene’s Turn To Have His Feeling Ignored

Yes, how dare Eugene have an opinion that different from Raps. 

Remind me again which relationship was the toxic one? 

‘Destiny’ Is Not a Reason

Like ‘destiny’ in a narrative sense means that there’s either an unavoidable consequence for not fulfilling it, a fate that can’t be avoid no matter how hard you try, or a prophecy to help show the characters what needs to be done. It’s a tool to create tension and foreshadowing. It’s not a goal in of itself. But the series never expands upon this ‘destiny’ stuff. It’s treated like an end all and be all for the characters actions, but that’s not how its supposed to work. 

So, What Was the Point?

You’ll hear me ask this question a lot during season two. But for this episode specifically there’s barely anything worthwhile to the ongoing narrative here. 

None of the mains learn anything, none of the side characters learn anything, the Baron and Stalyan wind up not adding anything to the overall narrative, and Vardaros and its inhabitants never come back into play after this season. So what was the point? 

The only reason why I don’t recommend skipping the episode altogether is because of Adria’s introduction, the DK flashback, and the scroll pecice. But all of that is so divorced from the episode’s A plot that it might as well not have been here.You could have taken nearly all of Adria’s scenes and fitted them into another episode. Meaning, you could have easily cut all of Vardaros, the Baron, and Stalyan out of the show and it wouldn’t have made a difference to the story arc. 

Conclusion

I’ll give the opening this much. It lets you know what your in for for the rest of season; lots of filler, a disconnected arc, and no Varian (or other main threat) to be seen. Ugh! 

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Beyond the Corona Walls Part 1

Ah, now we’re finally here at season two; the dullest season. Yet there’s still plenty to talk about so let’s dig in. 

Summary: Rapunzel has begun following the Black Rocks and joining her on her journey are Eugene, Cassandra, Pascal, Maximus, Fidella, Owl, Lance, Hook Foot and Shorty (who stowed away). During this time, Eugene is planning on proposing to Rapunzel again, but when Rapunzel accidentally reveals herself when he is practicing it causes an awkward situation between the couple when Rapunzel doesn't give him an answer. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and the group are making their first stop in Vardaros, a city Eugene and Lance previously visited in their past, but discover it has become overrun with criminals. While Eugene and the boys remain in the city to gather supplies, news of Eugene's arrival quickly spreads among the citizens, including the city's leader, the Baron, a criminal kingpin who previously worked with Eugene and Lance in the past and seeks revenge. Eugene, Lance and Shorty are quickly captured by the Baron's men and taken to his castle where they met by the Baron and his daughter, Stalyan, Eugene's ex-fiancée. The Baron threatens Lance's life unless Eugene marries Stalyan. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Cassandra meet Adira, a mysterious warrior who harbors knowledge on the Black Rocks.

The Audience Needs More Than Just Single Lines of Exposition 

(Yes, that’s a lot of screen grabs and this is where a video review has the advantage, but I’m not fooling with editing, so there ya go.)

King Edmund of the Dark Kingdom here is talking about the moonstone and how he wishes to destroy it. 

But how has it destroyed lives? What has it and the black rocks done besides some property damage? Why is he only now just considering this option when the moonstone has been there for centuries? Why leave to prevent people from using it, when the whole point of having a strong hold there is to safeguard it in the first place?    

There’s lots that we can theorize here; I’m of the mind that his wife was impaled on a black rock, myself, hence his break down here; but the series doesn’t show us that. Telling us that the moonstone is a threat isn’t enough, you have to prove that it is. Cause right now only the rocks have been shown to cause damage and in this very same episode they stop being a threat and don’t do anything. 

Well Looky There, Cass Got a Promotion 

So this line, plus all of Cass’s previous guard duty work coupled with her protective nature this season, more or less cements that she was personally appointed by the king to be the princess’s bodyguard. She’s no longer a handmaiden. 

Now watch as the show completely forgets this little plot point. 

Why Are You Here Hookfoot? 

As I said earlier, I do like Hookfoot, and in theory I don’t mind him coming along to round out the group. But in practice he doesn’t really add anything. You could slot nearly any other character into his place and nothing would really change. In some cases, things would even improve without him. 

Really Raps? More than Anyone?

More than the poor orphaned boy that you stole that scroll piece from and threw into a dungeon? The one that spent months translating that scroll and trying to figure out the rocks while you sat on your ass and did nothing? 

Oh, yeah, Varian is currently in jail by the way, and Rapunzel fully knows this, despite Frederick promising to try and help him. 

I can understand the mains not letting Varian come along on this trip, but keeping the character who thus far has the most connection to your ongoing arc away from said arc entirely is bad storytelling. There were countless ways to incorporate Varian this season that didn’t involve hiding him away for a year. Including having him come along on probation, because he’s the only one who can read the your dang macguffin. 

Marriage Isn’t a Trap, Stop Acting Like It Is

Marriage doesn’t stop you from living your life. You can be married and still do whatever it is that you enjoy. If it’s a healthy marriage then you and your partner will work together to help each other fulfill their dreams. Especially, when you got the money to do it, which, as royals, Eugene and Rapunzel both got in spades. 

Also we aren’t even talking about getting married right now, just getting engaged. An engagement can last however long you want it to. There’s literally no reason why Rapunzel and Eugene couldn’t have been engaged, or even married, for the rest of the series. 

I know you got a time frame show and this is suppose to lead into the Happily Ever After short, but then you need to give like an actual physical reason why they wouldn’t want to marry yet, cause otherwise you’re just spinning your wheels and wasting the audience’s time with this melodrama. 

Why Are You Here Shorty?

Shorty’s inclusion doesn’t bother me as much as Hookfoot’s. A. Because he’s a movie original and this is a spin off, and B. Shorty doesn’t take away anything. Including him doesn’t steal screen time from anybody else since he gets no real focus. It just also doesn’t add anything either since he gets no real focus. Your mileage may vary on how detrimental this is. It personally doesn’t bother me, but I’m not going to act like it’s great writing or anything either. 

We Needed More of This

Remember how I said that there’s no longer any threat this season? 

The rocks themselves could have been enough to push the narrative forward, same as they did in season one, if the series had bothered to show their destruction more often and claim that finding the moonstone could help fix things. But all we get is this one scene of a once prosperous town being junked. After that the story never focuses on it. The townspeople more or less get on with their lives, the rocks stop doing anything, and we see no more damage beyond this point.  

Also keep in mind that we are never told what taking the moonstone and reuniting it with the sundrop would do, nor how it might help anyone. Rapunzel has no longer has a reason to go on her road trip.     

In fact this whole season long quest now becomes pointless because not doing anything would in fact be the better option. Which in turn undermines all of season one as well, because we just spent 24 episodes saying that not doing anything is bad. So which is it show? Make up your mind. 

Once Again, Marriage Isn’t a Trap

I wouldn’t mind this kind of talk so much if the show was using Lance and Hookfoot here to set up a later contradiction and challenge this kind of thought process. Cause as is, this is a pretty toxic and sexist mentality. Ladies are no less ‘free’ when they get married. Eugene doesn’t like own Raps just cause he becomes a husband. She can still do whatever the heck she wants. But no, the show only validates this outdated thinking instead.

Cass Deserves To Get Her Butt Kicked 

Can’t spell Cass without ‘ass’, hun? 

Adria doesn’t do anything here. She cheerfully asks to talk to Rapunzel alone, respectfully requests not to to have her personal space invaded more than once, and even then she tries to deescalate the situation as Cass tries to pick a fight over nothing like a school yard bully; even going so far as to shout elementary insults at her. Which Ardia takes all in stride.

If you’re wanting me to take Cassandra’s side in the Cass vs. Adria fallout later, show, then you’re doing a poor job of setting that up. Being cautious with a stranger is one thing, getting butt hurt after being rightly called out on your BS is another. 

Let’s Talk About the Slap Here, and the Fans Misportrayal of Stalyan

Most of the fanbase hates Stalyan, and rightly so. She’s not meant to be likable. She is a villian and the show portrays her as such. However, certain fans like to take things a step further than that and take scenes out of context to imply that she is somehow even worse than she actually is. Scenes like this one for instance. 

Keep in mind, Eugene stood her up. He left her at the altar. As in, he didn’t have the decency to break up with her face to face like a respectful human being. The whole point behind Eugene’s character development is that he use to be a jerk. 

I’m not going to act like Stalyan is a sweet and wholly innocent victim here, but you look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t slap your cheating ex too when you finally saw him again after that? And yes, it is implied that Eugene use to cheat on her. More on that in part 2.  

The point is you can’t just shout ‘abuser’ when all you’ve seen of a relationship is the post break up. Cause you have no idea what went down, and people aren’t always friendly with their exes. 

Now we most definitely should have gotten more info on what their relationship was like and more context around the break up, and that is a failing of the show. But a good chunk of the complaints hurled at Stalyan aren’t based off anything she actually did and is more rooted in sexism and fandom’s toxic shipping habits. 

What you can rightly criticize Stalyan for is inconsistency. 

Stalyan’s Actions Don’t Mesh With Her Motivations 

So does she want revenge or does she want to marry him? Which is it? Cause those two things aren’t compatible. 

If she still loves Eugene and still believes that he would come back to her, than she wouldn’t be threatening him now. Like I said, marriage isn’t a trap. It’s not punishment. It’s a thing people actually want, and they want their partners to want it too. If her goal is to convince him to marry her, as stated, then she’d wouldn’t be mean to him right now and she wouldn’t be going along with this 'force him into it’ plan. 

Look, this entire plot needed a rewrite. I’m not saying that you need to make Stalyan nice nor have her be wholly forgiving of Eugene’s past actions, but you really, really, needed to keep her in the dark about the blackmail. Especially since they try and fail to make her sympathetic later on. 

As is, Stalyan is just a confusing character. You gotta do a lot of reading between the lines and digging for exposition (some of which we don't even get till the end of season 3) to make any sense of what she says and does. 

But I’m going to give it an honesty try come part two. 

Conclusion 

I’ll give my finally thoughts in the second half of the episode/review. But for now the only interesting thing is Adria herself. The Baron stuff just drags and feels like a waste of build up. 

[kingreywrites]

You’re always there, mon frère

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 3004

Summary: "Flynn! Buddy, do you hear me?!" The voice was directly above him now and it was- Flynn was pretty sure that it was Lance, but with the rain, his friend sounded weird. A little choked up, perhaps. And how could he be above him? "Flynn!" Lance called desperately, "Flynn! Answer me buddy!"

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Note: Happy Teengene Appreciation Day!! Thank you @carlyrider for organising it, I hope you’ll enjoy this!

Flynn was cold. That was the first thing he noticed, but it wasn't enough to wake him up fully because, after all, he was used to sleeping in the cold. And the wet - it was wet too, he realised, but once again, not the worst conditions he had slept in. Well, most of the time, he and Lance would- not cuddle, he wouldn't say cuddle, but they would manly share body heat and Flynn would often snuggle- uh, get closer to Lance because he was a literal human furnace, and things would be okay.

Lance wasn't there, though. He was cold, and wet, and Lance… Where was Lance?

"...ynn! Bu…"

It was raining, Flynn understood, a little more conscious now. It was raining heavily, and there was thunder, and he was wet because… he didn't find a roof? It was weird. He always managed to find a roof in these circumstances - he hated the cold with a passion and once, Lance got so sick that he feared-

Yeah. He hated the cold. Where was Lance? Was he cold too?

There was some noise above his head, and he felt something that was definitely not rain fell on his face. Pebbles? He should really find a better place to sleep, but he was too tired and too cold to move now. His head hurt. And he was tasting dirt, somehow?

"Flynn!" someone called from faraway. "Flynn, where are you?!"

Flynn groaned, and got more dirt in his mouth for his trouble. With all of this rain, his hair must be a mess now, he would have to take care of it thoroughly. Would Lance accept to go steal more hair products? It was a vital necessity, for sure, Flynn just had to convince him of that - and considering Lance didn't exactly have hair, it would be difficult, but Flynn Rider wouldn't back down from a challenge. Except if that challenge was getting up because, for now, that wasn't happening. Maybe he could borrow something from Stalyan? Nah, not worth her anger, Flynn thought with a frown that he regretted immediately as a flash of white hot pain made him groan once again. Ouch. His head hurt. Where was- where was Lance?

"Flynn! Buddy, do you hear me?!" The voice was directly above him now and it was- Flynn was pretty sure that it was Lance, but with the rain, his friend sounded weird. A little choked up, perhaps. And how could he be above him? "Flynn!" Lance called desperately, "Flynn! Answer me buddy!"

Flynn grimaced and opened his mouth, but no sounds came out. Why was Lance screaming in the middle of the night? Why were they both outside? His head hurt more and more as he woke up progressively, and Flynn had half a mind to simply go back to sleep. It would be less cold, less wet, and definitely less painful.

Then again, Lance sounded really scared. Maybe Flynn would stay awake a little more - just to check that it wasn't another spider related incident.

"Flynn! Fly- oh come on, Eugene Fitzherbert!" Lance yelled, his voice echoing sharply inside Flynn's head.

"Hey," Flynn groaned, louder this time, "don't call me that." His exclamation wasn't that loud, but thankfully, Lance heard it anyway.

"Sorry, sorry, I just wanted a reaction," Lance apologised, still sounding far away.

Flynn shifted and regretted it immediately, stars bursting behind his eyelids as he cried out. He might have lost some time, because when he finally felt like he wouldn't be sick, Lance was back to calling his name frantically.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake," he coughed into the dirt, before taking a deep breath and - finally - turning entirely on his back. It hurt, to say the least. Gasping, the rain falling right into his mouth, Flynn finally realised that Lance wasn't above him because he was flying, but because he was down in a… ravine? Random crack on the Earth? Anyway, not good.

And, if he had turned the other way, he would have fallen to his doom. Further down to his doom, exactly.

"Flynn, buddy, please stop moving," Lance pleaded, his head popping up a few feet above him. "I'm coming to get you, okay? Just- stay put!"

"Not sure… where I would go," Flynn breathed in answer, but Lance was already gone. And, it was still raining. What a day.

Honestly, he didn't remember how exactly he managed to fall here - he assumed he fell, since his entire body was screaming at him, most of all his head. Gingerly, he tested his hands and feet, and thankfully, he didn't seem to have anything broken. Being a thief didn't really allow for broken bones, and Stalyan would have probably been angry with him for being incapacitated - even now, she would probably blame him for his injuries. To be fair, he didn't remember how he got them, but innocent until proven guilty - it was not his fault until he discovered it was. Sadly, Stalyan often assumed the reverse stance, blaming him for things he didn't even do until he apologised for it. He was already imagining the argument about this in his head, and how he could try to calm her down, when it struck him.

He wouldn't argue with Stalyan. He- he left her at the altar.

Suddenly, everything came back to him in a rush - his decision to leave her, supported by Lance; taking part of the Baron's treasure for themselves as a goodbye gift; being chased down by his men, fighting under the rain, being pushed… being pushed to his death by The Weasel.

He remembered falling, and thinking that this was it. He was going to die. And the worst thing? He didn't even regret leaving Stalyan behind. She- they- Lance had been right about her since the beginning. Then Flynn hit the ground and didn't think about it anymore. He had been lucky to fall on something midway, instead of all the way down the ravine, because that was probably the only thing saved his life.

Well, lucky wasn't exactly the word here, but he would take it.

"Flynn! Still awake down there?" Lance yelled before leaning over the edge again.

"Yeah," he answered half-heartedly, shivering from the unrelenting rain.

He wasn't sure Lance heard him, but he must have seen him move enough to be reassured, because he turned back for a moment. Flynn waited in silence, feeling oddly numb as he thought back over everything he did to get them in this situation, his head still pulsating painfully with his heart. Gently, he put a hand above his ear, but took it back with a hiss. Between the darkness and the rain, he wasn't exactly sure that it was blood on his fingers, and decided to act as if it wasn't. If he didn't see the problem, there was no problem, for sure.

Lance threw a rope down. He pulled it harshly three times, but whatever he had anchored it on held.

"Lance," Flynn called, trying to sit up and failing miserably, his arms too shaky under him.

"Flynn, don't move, I'm coming!"

"No, no, Lance, it's too wet," he yelled back, "you'll slip!"

Even from down there, Flynn could see the glare Lance threw his way. "If you think I'm leaving you here, you're wrong!"

"The rule is-"

"I don't care about the rule! Jail is one thing, I won't leave you to die here!"

It was rare for Lance to sound that angry. Flynn closed his mouth, biting back his answers, because he knew he wouldn't be able to convince his friend not to do it. Which didn't mean he wasn't scared off his wits when Lance started to make his way down as carefully as possible. Lance nearly lost his grip at one point, and Flynn nearly had an heart attack at the sweet age of sixteen, but, thankfully, Lance caught himself and only kicked down pebbles into Flynn's face. On purpose, he'd bet, because he thought Flynn was being an idiot.

Lance jumped the last few inches, immediately going to Flynn's side, hands hovering above him.

"Are you okay? Is anything broken? How many fingers do you see- wait, I'm not supposed to hide my hands behind my back, I-"

"Lance, Lance!" Flynn interrupted, bating his hands away feebly. "I'm fine, help me up."

Lance nodded, put one arm under Flynn's and yanked him upright which- bad idea.

Very bad idea.

When he came back to himself, Flynn was on all four, heaving, and Lance had one hand around his waist to keep him off his face, and the other doing soothing circles on his back. It would have been sweet, if not for the nearly constant hysterical babbles in Flynn's ears as Lance panicked. Flynn didn't know where Lance heard all this stuff about head injuries that he was reciting, but it did sound grim worded this way. He really didn't want to slip into a coma either.

"So," Flynn croaked, "what a break up, huh?"

If he hoped his joke would calm Lance down, he hadn't anticipated the tears in his best friend's eyes as he looked at him sadly. Flynn sighed and - carefully - sat up, Lance steadying him.

"I thought- I kept searching for you, but I thought-"

Lance swallowed, unable to finish his sentence, and Flynn thought he understood. Falling in a ravine didn't have the best chance of survival. He would say he was sorry, but he didn't think Lance would appreciate it, so he patted his arm feebly instead. His head was pounding right up to his eyeballs, which was weird sensation in itself. Lance rubbed his eyes to get rid of his tears, and Flynn didn't even tell him that it wasn't useful since it was still raining on them - he was nice like that. And tired. Very tired.

"C'mon, don't fall asleep on me," Lance said, jostling Flynn enough to make the pain flare up again. "Sorry, but we need to get out of here."

"I- I don't think I'm climbing up that rope, buddy," Flynn answered, shivering a lot more now that Lance had gotten up again.

He also felt woozy and since, despite all appearances, he wasn't a complete idiot, he knew his hands were shaking way too much to have some sort of grip. Especially under this rain. Take that, Stalyan - he did know how to think before he leaped. Which wouldn't help him out of this situation but at least he could finally have the last word on that argument. Why was he thinking about her again? His head hurt a lot.

"Yeah, we'll find a doctor, don't worry," Lance said, and Flynn realised he must have talked out loud. He wasn't sure any doctor would accept them as patient - they didn't have any money left - but it was a nice sentiment. "And you won't have to climb up, I'll take care of it."

Before Flynn could wonder what that meant, Lance was back before him and, in one swift movement, got him on his back. He would have sputtered a protest immediately, if not for his spinning head.

"A piggyback? That's your grand idea?" Flynn hissed through his teeth as he breathed against the nausea, arms tightening unconsciously around Lance. 

"You've got a better one?"

"No! Doesn't mean this one isn't stupid!"

"Well we can't stay here! You need help and we need a warm shelter and-"

"If you slip we're dead!"

"Don't let go and I won't," Lance snarked back, squaring his shoulders and jumping to start climbing up. Flynn yelped, and tightened his legs around his waist, not about to deconcentrate him now that their fates was in his hands. Quite literally.

From his vantage point, Flynn could see how Lance was straining to get both of them out of here. He could see him palms get hurt against the rope, could feel the rain running down his hair, could hear Lance's grunts and realised that he was glad to have him in his life. Maybe Flynn was an idiot - but at least, he had a best friend.

"I'll miss Stalyan, though," he whispered vaguely, forehead on Lance's shoulder.

"Hey, hey, you promised you wouldn't let go Flynn," Lance said in a panic, feet slipping against the rock.

"Didn't promise anything."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too! You've got a concussion, my word is worth more than yours," Lance concluded harshly, "so don't sleep."

Flynn hummed, Lance grunted, and thunder roared above them - it was all very dramatic. Once Lance was less freaked out about it all, he'd probably appreciate the setting of his daring rescue, since nothing was cooler than appropriate scenery. It would be a story for the ages... if they didn't die.

Lance cursed under his breath as he heaved himself up for the last few inches, falling heavily on the ground with Flynn still on his back. He crawled to get them both further away from the edge, before sprawling entirely on the ground. Flynn though he should try to move, since he was essentially squashing Lance, but his head was pounding and he really didn't want to.

"We're alive," he drawled ironically, and Lance snorted in answer. They were alive, and soaked to the bone, his head was still hurting, and he was pretty sure that Lance's hands were too, from the friction. Ah, and the Baron's men were probably still on their tails - or Lance's, at least, if they thought he was dead already. Yeah team.

After a while, Lance helped him lie down on the ground as he sat back up, and Flynn looked at the sky, trying to stay very still. The clouds were still dark and menacing, but he felt like the rain was falling a little less heavily. Flynn raised his hand to his head again, still flinching when he made contact, but with this new light, the fact that he was bleeding was undeniable.

What was the protocol in use when he did see the problem? He didn't remember right now, but it wasn't good.

Lance leaned over him and Flynn realised that he was talking, but he hadn't listened. He felt dizzy, as if his head was slowly floating away from him and that- that was weird. Lance frowned, moved away, and Flynn nearly asked him to stay, before he caught himself. Huh. The head injury was really messing with him. That, and Lance was the best way to keep the rain out of his eyes. Yeah, that was totally it.

Flynn closed his eyes but Lance immediately shook him, trying to keep him awake. Sadly, it only heightened Flynn's dizziness and pain, and he thought he mumbled something that made Lance look scared, but he didn't remember what - he closed his eyes again and lost consciousness before he even understood what was happening.

------

Flynn was warm and dry. That was a nice change from the last time he woke up, though he didn't realise it immediately, still too groggy. His head still hurt but the pain was dulled now, something faded in the back of his mind. Right here and then, as Flynn woke up slowly, he could have swore he hadn't been this comfortable in years…

If it wasn't for the elbow digging in his ribs.

Once he felt it, Flynn was unable to ignore it. He tried to shift away slowly and, when that didn't work, he pushed the arm away. At first, he thought he won that battle, but the arm came back with a vengeance, covering his stomach in a heap as a loud snore escaped its owner.

"Lance," Flynn growled, already missing his sleepiness, "move."

"Shut- Flynn?!" his best friend yelled, startled awake, while Flynn cringed away from the loud noise. "Flynn," Lance said more softly, "you're awake!"

"Yeah," he grumbled sarcastically, something that Lance obviously didn't get as he started talking fast about how worried he had been. Though, Flynn knew his friend - he totally got that he was being annoying, only, he liked to be.

Now that his eyes were open, he saw that they were both on a bed that Flynn didn't recognise at all. His hand climbed to his head but only felt the bandages that were on top of his wound.

"Told ya I would get you to a doctor," Lance winked, proud of himself.

"Yes but how are you planning to pay them?"

"I... uh, have my ways?" he answered nervously.

Flynn frowned, and saw that weird tick Lance always had when he was feeling guilty about something - his eyebrows took this strange position on his face and it outed him as a liar every time. His thought process was slowed due to his head injury, but it didn't take long for Flynn to understand what exactly Lance could be feeling guilty about.

"Oh I can't believe you," Flynn complained, "you stole from our stolen treasure?! We said we would do fifty fifty!"

"See, I wouldn't say stole, exactly-"

"Of course you wouldn't!"

"It helped you in the end! That has to count!" Lance insisted, and Flynn punched his shoulder in answer - not too strongly, but Lance was a big baby and whined about it anyway.

Then, he settled back on the bed, ready to go on with his nap.

"Isn't this my bed?" Flynn grumbled half-heartedly, getting comfortable again.

"Hmm."

"And you- ah, doesn't matter," he sighed, accepting his cuddly fate.

Only because Lance was a warm presence beside him and that he was still feeling cold. And maybe because he seemed to have scared Lance back there, so he wanted to make him feel better. And perhaps it made him feel a little better too, to have his best friend with him - because, despite their ups and downs, he knew that Lance would always have his back, even if it meant going to pick him up from a ravine.

Lance snored and hugged him closer - and Flynn smiled and went back to sleep warm, dry, and happy.

[kingreywrites]

All that I have to lose

Fandom: Tangled

Words count: 2352

New Dream Appreciation Week Day Seven: Happily Ever After

Summary: Somewhere between meeting Stalyan and being betrayed by Cassandra, Rapunzel changed her mind about her opinion on weddings and happily ever afters. It could have been the natural progression of her thoughts on the subject, once she stopped seeing marriage as a prison instead of the new adventure that it was - but sadly, there was one event that served as a definite turning point, and she hated it.

Ten months after leaving Corona, Eugene got sick.

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Note: I can’t believe this week is already over! This was absolutely awesome, thanks again to the people organizing it, you’re incredible! <3

@our-newdream

Rapunzel hated that she could pinpoint exactly the time when she changed her mind for sure about marriage, and about what living happily ever after truly meant. Until then, she had always felt like it would be the end of her story - she and Eugene would settle down, happy and content without any new adventure to live through. It was okay, but she hadn't felt ready to give up on exploring the world quite… That is, until she understood that her definitions were wrong. But that didn't mean she liked her turning point. In fact, she hated it, because she knew that she had felt progressively more open about marriage during their journey, and she knew that she didn't need a life-changing event to understand that it wasn't the end of her adventures but the start of a new one. She would have come around, and had been nearly there after the whole Stalyan mess - but then, something happened to change her mind immediately and she hated it.

Eugene got sick.

To be precise, Eugene had left the caravan because they all wanted some air and had stopped in the middle of a clearing to do so. He went to the forest and came back some time after, and everything had been okay. It should have been okay. But then, Eugene had started acting weird - he kept drinking water, complaining that he was thirsty and that everything was too hot. He bickered with Cassandra, but lost his train of thought halfway through a curse, which never happened.

By the time Rapunzel was sure something was wrong, he had a raging fever and started talking about things that weren't there. It was Cass who finally understood what was wrong - she found berries in his bag, that weren't berries as much as it was belladonna.

Poison.

The following minutes were a blur to Rapunzel - she knew they had pushed Eugene into the caravan and bundled him into bed, despite his growing confusion and panic. She knew she had been panicking too, reminiscing about all she knew about belladonna which terrified her even more, but had also kept it all to herself behind a cheerful facade, because Eugene wasn't making sense and kept asking about her wellbeing. She couldn't worry him more.

By the time they agreed to rush back to the city they left two days ago because it was the closest one, his breathing was ragged and uneven, and his fever was through the roof. Rapunzel couldn't leave his side, because he would panic otherwise - and she didn't want to leave him anyway.

"Rapunzel," he gasped at some point, startling her, "you- you okay?"

"Don't worry Eugene," she soothed for the umpteenth time, hoping that he wouldn't notice her wobbly voice, "I'm fine."

She wasn't. Of course she wasn't, not when the love of her life was in such a state - in the throws of nightmares without even sleeping, begging her for water that she knew he would throw up right after. She had never seen him like this - had never seen anyone like this, really, but especially not him, who hadn't even caught a cold since they met. She did, though, she had fallen sick once or twice already, and he had been by her side to reassure her each time, assuring her that he had a strong immune system and that he rarely got sick.

She hoped it would be strong enough to fight this until a doctor could help.

"You're not allowed to eat berries anymore," Rapunzel whispered some time later, when his hallucinations seemed to have abated and they had needed to stop for the night, because the horses were exhausted. "Never ever."

"Did I-" He swallowed harshly against the dryness of his throat and tried again, looking heartbreakingly lost. "Did I confuse bimberries and dimberries again?"

"Something like that," she sniffed, getting his sweaty hair out of his forehead and cringing at the heat that was still here.

"Don't let Cassandra kill me."

"I won't. I won't let anything kill you," she promised, and Eugene smiled, but it was still vague and confused, as if he was indulging her without really understanding what she was saying.

His face and neck were covered by splotches of red, and he kept tensing his muscles against his will - the jerky movements scared her, and hurt him, and she hated it. She knew a lot about belladonna, because she had read again and again, during eighteen years, one of her three books that was about plants. She knew its effects - she knew everything that could go wrong, every potentialities, but it had never been terrifying until it was Eugene's symptoms. As she listened to him breathe, she kept fearing that his heart wouldn't have enough energy to pump anymore, or that his lungs would give up, or that another delirium would make him hurt himself further, and she had to do everything in her power not to cry.

She kept thinking about him dying, and she understood that she couldn't have an happily ever after without him. All the freedom and adventures would never make up from the sheer happiness he gave her every day, just by existing. She always knew this fact, in a way, but now it was a thought that choked her and made her hands tremble as she put a cold cloth over his forehead - because, until now, it hadn't been a true subject of doubt since he died that first time.

"I can't- I can't-" he muttered some hours later, never able to finish his sentences as he struggled beneath the bed sheets. Neither of them had gotten any sleep yet - neither of them could, Eugene because of the fever, and Rapunzel because of Eugene. "Blondie-"

"I'm here," she whispered, her hand cupping his cheek, making him look at her even when his eyes kept straying to the left, seeing something that wasn't there. "I'm here Eugene, I promise."

"No, no, I can't-" He sounded gutted, and one of his hand went to his stomach, clenching unnaturally over it.

Rapunzel worried that he was feeling sick again, because he hadn't managed to keep anything down, but when she tried to make him lean over the side of the bed, he fought her off.

"I can't let you do this," Eugene insisted, trying to get away from her.

"What? Eugene, please-"

"If you do this, you will die!"

With wide eyes, Rapunzel took in his appearance - the bags under his eyes, the unnatural blush on his cheeks, his heaving chest and his hand, not over his stomach because of nausea but over a familiar spot, that she should have recognised immediately. She exhaled shakily, her eyes burning as she tried once again to get close to him, careful not to spook him even more.

"Eugene, it's over. She- Gothel is dead. And you're fine."

"N-no, I… My side…"

Gently, she put her hand over his, not even flinching when he tried unsuccessfully to cringe away from her. She kept her fingers right over his and didn't move - not when he called her name in panic, not when he tried to convince her that he wasn't worth her life, not when he begged her to just let him die instead. They were tears falling from her eyes, but she didn't move.

"It's over," she whispered again when he calmed down on his own, his pupils blown but looking directly at her this time. "We're safe. I'm safe, because you saved me and you're safe, because I saved you."

As she talked, she slowly removed his hand from his side, taking it in hers and squeezing as hard as she dared, hoping it would ground him as much as it did her. Eugene kept watching her, mouth slightly open as he panted, but he didn't fight her anymore.

In a surprising show of strength, he raised himself quickly and brought her on an half-sitting hug, his head resting on the crook of her neck. She scootched over, bringing him to her lap as she hugged him back as strongly as she could, feeling like they would both fall apart if she didn't. He was mumbling things against her skin, his fever still high, and she didn't understand everything but she felt his relief in her bones.

"I'm glad you're okay," he muttered more clearly, and Rapunzel hugged him tighter, hoping that he wouldn't see the tears gathering under her eyelashes. She shouldn't have worried, because she felt his body go limp, Eugene finally succumbing to sleep now that he was sure she was safe. She kept holding him though - focusing on his weight against her so as not to drown in the emotions his hallucination brought back.

That was her turning point - the one event that rushed her natural train of thought straight to its conclusion, the event that she hated so much.

Because, at this exact instant, with Eugene's burning skin against hers, after ten months on the road toward her destiny, Rapunzel suddenly understood the feelings that she never managed to voice - she finally understood why she kept rejecting his proposal, and she understood why that didn't matter, in the end.

She was scared that her happily ever after meant the end of her adventure. She was scared that once they settled down, they would be safe and sound and locked inside forever, as naive as it might sound. For a long time, happiness had meant staying where she was meant to be, high up in her tower, making someone else happy - but now, she wanted to experience it all, be the person she knew she could be, make her own life and her own happiness...

But she wanted to do all of that with Eugene.

She had been scared that marriage would mark the end of her journey, but how could it, when Eugene was with her? It all seemed silly now, when she was holding him as tightly as she could while his ragged breathing tickled her neck and made her heartbeat speed up with worry. It all seemed silly, because Eugene was her happily ever after and had always been - he was her dream, he was who she felt free and wanted to go on adventures with.

Here and there, as she brushed his sweaty hair out of his face again, she realised that she would sacrifice it all if that meant saving him. Her adventures, her freedom, her destiny, it all meant surprisingly little compared to the knowledge that Eugene was safe and in good health, able to talk and laugh and smile as much as he wanted. He had told her, after the mess that was her coronation, about his fear of losing her like he lost most good things in his life - he had told her about his abandonment issues, and how that made him want to propose because he couldn't imagine his life without her. He had also apologised for it, apologised for not considering her feelings better, for proposing out of the blue because he was scared when it should be a shared choice between both of them.

In hindsight, she wished she could go back in time just to insist even more that he shouldn't apologise so much for it. She understood now - she thought she did before, thought her first-hand experience with losing him gave her more perspective than most, but she had somehow forgot how raw it felt to see him hurt. Now, faced with the too real possibility of losing him again, she wished she could propose to him right now, wished that they could get married and go hide out in the castle forever, if it meant he was safe with her forever too. She could accept any happily ever after, as long as it was in his company. And, the thing was, she knew it wouldn't be a sacrifice - she knew she wouldn't be unhappy, because she knew Eugene's happiness also relied heavily on hers. They made each other happy.

Eugene mumbled something incoherently, his lips right on the side of her jaw, and Rapunzel realised that she was crying, silent tears making their way down, to form dark little spot on his clothes. She shifted, to have one hand to dry her tears, and he twitched.

"You 'k?" he rasped once again, like he had done dozens of time since he ate those damned berries, because sickness or not, she was always his first concern.

He hadn't even opened his eyes. Rapunzel cupped his cheek with her free hand, stroking it softly with her thumb and erasing the rare teardrops that made their way here. 

"I'm okay," she answered, not willing to share the jostling thoughts in her head screaming that she wasn't, she couldn't be when he wasn't. "I'm okay."

"Good," he said simply, before falling asleep again, a gentle smile on his lips and an unnatural blush still on his cheeks.

Rapunzel curled up as much as she could around him and cried.

In the end, they arrived in a day and a half in the village and they broke the doctor's door down in their panic. Thankfully, said doctor was a nice little old lady who looked suspiciously like old lady Crowley - but she clearly wasn't the evil twin between them. She didn't take offence in her broken door, and didn't even argue with Rapunzel when she insisted to stay with her when she treated Eugene.

By the end of the day, his fever was barely one, and he wasn't hallucinating anymore. The following morning, he woke up, completely clear-headed if a little confused about their whereabouts.

"You're okay?" he asked Rapunzel when she took his hand and, for a moment, she wanted to beg him to never ask this question ever again. But, on the other hand, she understood - he was her first concern too. Maybe she hadn't understood that fully before, but she was completely certain now: him being safe and sound was her happily ever after.

"I'm okay," she settled on, and it wasn't a lie anymore.

[bestworstcase]

bro can you just do like the entire ever on meme, I could read your headcanons and commentary all day (but for real, your takes are super interesting!)

a n o n. bsdhfsdh

How many kids do you want Rapunzel and Eugene to have?

in all honesty i Literally could not care less. maybe twins as a nod to the original fairytale, but like, a good ten years into the future. rapunzel deserves a nice long stint of just Living Her Best Life before she even thinks about having kids

Where do you want or see Cass going?

answered here. also, self indulgently, in my head at some point she ends up in antares, which is a city-state near the dark kingdom which i developed for bitter snow. it’s big and old and crowded and given that it’s built on top of a bunch of huge black rocks we’re going to just... ignore what happened to the black rocks in canon when the sundrop and moonstone fused, k?

What are some of Queen Rapunzel’s new policies?

blah! i like to think she would also institute widespread public schooling, because she’s so curious and so many of her skills are self taught out of passion and personal interest and i think she would want to inculcate those values in the children of her subjects. coronan literacy skyrockets under her reign

What will Varian think of next?

i think it’s sort of funny to take varian at his word when he calls himself an alchemist and assume he is, in fact, in a perpetual state of trying to make a philosopher’s stone. 

How many partners will Cass have, if any at all?

i mean look at her she could have her pick of any gay woman on the continent. um. in bitter snow she dates or has flings with 2... people, maybe 3 depending on how exactly we define “dates.”

What will Captain do now?

he will grow an ever more glorious beard. also this.

How will Hector, Adira, and Edmund live in the Dark Kingdom again?

they’re going to have a very welcoming immigration policy otherwise dark kingdom 2: electric boogaloo is not going to last for very long, now is it.

i think adira will spend a lot of time being the voice of reason considering that edmund lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and went a bit funny while hector lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and turned into a feral tree man and then got possessed. i also think the dark kingdom will be instrumental in the development of fantasy-telegraphs, because they do after all have a pretty pressing reason to do so

How are Stalyan and Brock doing?

stalyan met brock in, like, a dive bar somewhere and went oh my god you have to come to corona with me and pretend to be my date it’ll be so fucking funny so that’s what they did. anyway caine happened to be out on parole at the time and they bumped into each other and stalyan was like 👀 and caine was like 👀 and they’re pirate queens now. stalyan and brock are still bros.

How are the Stabbingtons doing?

they’re like three months away from getting out for good behavior. eugene is so proud.

How many times will Andrew keep trying to escape?

He Will Never Stop

How will Vex and Quaid rebuild Vardaros?

i mean we’re all basically agreed that quaid is an expy of sam vimes, right? right? which is to say they’re going to drag vardaros kicking and screaming out of the hole its in through sheer raw stubbornness and innate sense of justice and fair play. also at some point quaid is going to arrest a dragon, probably

How will the Baron react to Stalyan dating Brock?

you think stalyan is still in contact with her shitty dad? HA! it is to laugh

How are Hookfoot and Seraphina doing?

seraphina did several months of community service due to her sentence being considerably lightened after her willing return of the stolen pearl and she has since gotten her life in order and is doing a tour of the coastline with hookfoot while she tries to figure out what she wants to do with her life instead. possibly she will become a singer, since she is, as you’ll recall, immensely talented in this department.

How will the Pub Thugs react to reuniting with the Hook Brothers again?

all i know is big nose is going to ask seraphina if she has any mermaid friends she could set him up with and she is going to give him the most withering look on the planet and he’s going to write bad, sad poetry about it for at least a week. also there will be a dance party

Will Varian talk to Quirin about his mother?

my headcanon is that varian is old enough to remember his mother, and that she died when he was perhaps eight or nine. i think after the series quirin would understand that shutting down and refusing to talk about things with varian doesn’t help either of them so they will be able to have normal conversations about her sometimes.

Will Varian have his own adventure?

in all honesty i don’t think about post-series varian all that much outside of the canonical royal engineer thing so instead i’m going to talk about bitter snow varian and say that: yes, he gets a hell of a lot more adventure than he ever bargained for. 

Does Varian have a room in the Castle now? Or does he stay in Old Corona?

i mean he’s like sixteen i assume he’s still living with his dad for at least a couple more years. he’s more urban than quirin is so when he comes of age i think he’ll eventually get himself a nice little flat in corona somewhere. 

Will Faith stay as Rapunzel’s lady-in-waiting? If so, will they be close friends?

i think in once a handmaiden faith booked herself passage on the next carriage to koto and is living her best life there. it’s what she deserves

Will Nigel ever reunite with a dragon again?

[gets on my soapbox] nigel’s story is a cautionary tale about the perils of taking wild animals out of the wild and attempting to keep them as pets and having seen firsthand the dangers of doing so nigel is never going to make the same mistake again. however, he learns to appreciate them as they are, in their natural habitat, living as they please, and will one day found a dragonspotting club. [/gets off my soapbox]

Will Eugene ever talk to Edmund about his mother?

yes and edmund will tell eugene like nine million stories about her and show him the letters she wrote for their son on her deathbed and eugene will realize that he actually has more in common, personality-wise, with his mom than his dad and will end up feeling very close to her even though he never got the chance to know her. 

Is Lance still smitten over Adira?

nah not really, though he still admires her very much and i think they end up having a decent friendship. they’re foodie buddies and whenever she passes through corona she teaches the girls survival skills or practices fighting techniques with them.

Did Max and Pascal rescue the wedding cake?

probably

Will Varian and Cassandra keep in touch?

i think she’ll keep in touch with him as much as she keeps in touch with any of team corona, really. they’re friends but not especially close, yknow?

Who will Cass run into on her adventures?

like i said in one of the other asks i think she passes through ingvarr at some point and maybe bumps into the princesses there. i definitely think she encounters caine and stalyan at least a couple times in contexts that range from adversarial to reluctant allies. the idea of her passing through vardaros and helping quaid and vex out with some mystery is kind of fun. 

Will Cass become a famous adventurer or live elusively?

cass is going to fall into the sam vimes camp of her reputation preceding her completely by accident

Who will be at Rapunzel and Eugene’s child(ren)’s christening(s)?

i assume, like, all the important people. fred and arianna and edmund, lance, varian, cass if she’s around. plus they’re royalty so like, a lot of noble types and diplomats and whatnot. 

What will Rapunzel and Eugene name their children?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Who from their adventures will Rapunzel and Eugene visit? The Lorbs? Calliope? King Trevor? Vex and Quaid?

i think there will be occasional trips to the dark kingdom via hot air balloon and they’ll probably check in on vardaros from time to time. can’t see them visiting calliope unless they absolutely have to. diplomatic visits with equis are... probably unavoidable, but filled with Regret. i think the lorbs would probably be happier if the crazy fleinfloofers didn’t keep coming back to the island to trigger horb the lorb’s various failed magical cures for depression, all things considered.

Will Rapunzel make amends with Lady Caine? Will she pardon her father and let him reunite with Lady Caine?

i think caine’s dad is dead. and i think rapunzel would try to make amends, but caine is in the category of... things can’t always be made better? her father was taken from her in a horribly traumatizing way and then in all likelihood either executed (remember that corona canonically hangs thieves) or died on a prison barge years ago, and there’s nothing rapunzel can realistically do to make that better. sometimes an apology isn’t enough, you know? i think she could provide caine with some closure by helping her find out exactly what happened to him, but caine would never harbor any positive feelings for corona or for rapunzel.

Will Cassandra settle in Corona, abroad, or remain indefinitely itinerant?

i think she’ll eventually settle down but i also see her as developing a real love for travel and continuing to do it frequently even after she finds her home base, so to speak. i also tend to lean on the side of she comes back to corona to visit but doesn’t have enough positive connections to the place to ever feel completely at home there. 

Will Madame Canardist ever learn of Vigor’s origins?

madame canardist is a racist romani caricature and i don’t like thinking about her if i can possibly help it. it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

Will Varian rebuild any of Demanitus’ work?

dunno, maybe? varian is a demanitus fanboy for sure and if he encountered a demanitus blueprint for a machine that he could put to good use i think he’d absolutely build it at the first opportunity. i can see him rebuilding the weather device just in case zhan tiri’s blizzard were to reoccur, for example. but also, a lot of demanitus’s inventions were pretty dangerous (see: the portal to the lost realm, the body-switching ray) and varian as of season three has learned his lesson about doing Reckless Science so i think he would approach with a certain amount of caution.

Will Cass be nervous when meeting her New Dream nieces and nephews?

...a bit? maybe? i guess? prior to this i spent literally 0 braincells thinking about new dream children so i dunno. i’m not a kid person and i rarely if ever speculate about non-canonical children of fictional couples. she’d be the fun adventuring family friend i suppose.