#like i can See the opposite but imo it hits harder when the girl falls harder

[clairenovaking]

i am a 'sam fell first / rowena fell harder' truther you can pry that belief from my cold dead hands

[whumptimemain]

Cracks knuckles, this is my brand of autism, let me go in. I picked the big guy/girl, or what I usually refer to as the tank. I'll get into that in a moment, but let it be known I was SAD to see it as the least voted option amongst the five traditional roles. Regardless, as someone who almost exclusively writes whump in a five man band setting, let me get into why EACH role is great for whump. The hero/leader This role *can* be the main character, though personally I believe they shine the most when viewed from the perspective of another character. The Hero is a self sacrificial character, whether for a cause or for their found family or what, they are decisive. Due to their capacity to lead, the are AMAZING for hidden injuries, exhaustion, and general "brave face" whump. Favourite Tropes: human shield!hero, martyr!hero, hidden injuries On the other hand, the Hero is also an amazing perspective for angst in general, especially survivors guilt. Please write more heroes with survivors guilt, and then tag me cause I WANT TO READ THAT!!! The Lancer/Sixth Ranger

Do I know that these are separate roles? Yes. Do I think that, most of the time, they share the same purpose? Also yes. The Lancer is in opposition of the Hero, while still being a team. They challenge the Hero's actions, beliefs, yadda yadda, and in the end it makes the whole team stronger. Shame is a great tool when whumping a Lancer, whether that be shame in themselves, or an "I told you so" moment after someone (maybe even them) gets hurt. **EXTRA NOTE** Heroes and Lancers get shipped a LOT. They just kinda have that dynamic. Lancers are very fun caretakers too, imo. Like, imagine a bitter Lancer patching up a Hero after they did something stupid (read as: self sacrificial) and then imagine the difference in tenderness when they patch up, say, the Heart. They're also amazing for holding in captivity. There's a really common trope of the Brain getting captured and the angst around that, but personally I think it hits even harder with the Lancer, because all the Lancer does is argue with the Hero (in their perspective), why would the Hero spare any resources to save them? I'm a sucker for Lancer whump haha. Still not my favourite though. The Heart

Listen. It is SO easy to fuck up the Heart, like, character development wise. It is hard to make a character genuinely so likeable that it makes sense why an entire group would fall apart without them. I know this because there are so many Hearts that don't work. This section is about Hearts that do what they're supposed to for the narrative. Easily, the most impactful character death you can implement is the Heart. The Heart is there to get the group through emotional hardship, so by taking them away, you are leaving your characters without their usual coping mechanism for distress, loss, and mourning. I'm not the biggest fan of whumping the Heart themself, moreover I love using them as a tool in the whumping of the other group members, to demonstrate the ways the group needs to grow into the loss. Without the Heart, characters are rash, aggressive, not thinking straight, and that is a beautiful recipe for whumpy disaster. If you're familiar with Dungeon Meshi, Falin is the heart. She is the drive of everything that party goes through. That is where I believe the Heart shines the most. The Brain

Typically, the Brain is not my cup of tea in most sci-fi/fantasy iterations of the Five Man Band, so let me first go over a couple other ways the Brain can manifest: - The one with the most common sense - The one with the niche, but important information - The one with the most emotional intelligence - The one with the most analytical approach The Brain can be anyone from an engineer at a space station to a bimbo who knows everything bit of gossip about everyone. Regardless, their importance to the group is based almost solely in what they can provide, which is ALWAYS a great starting place for angst.

Erase their memory. Hold them hostage for information. Gaslight them. Make them stop believing they're right about anything. On the other hand, throw them into a situation where they are completely out of their element, or expose them to a trigger from their past that completely unravels their logical ways of thinking. Turn them into someone unrecognizably insecure. The Tank

Of course, I saved my favourite for last. Oftentimes, the Tank is depicted as being a very physically imposing character. This isn't a requirement of the character archetype. What really matters is dynamic with the other characters. The Tank is always hit first. The Tank is always hit hardest. This is why, in my opinion, they make for amazing whumpees, because maybe they can handle that at first. Maybe the first few fights, they shake it off. But then they start getting chronic injuries. Then they start taking longer and longer to heal. Then the nightmares from the fights creep in and deprive them of sleep. The Tank is the first to take a hit, and the last person anyone expects to fall, and nobody knows what to do when they *do* fall. It's glorious. Anyways, I was just beyond surprised that the big guy/girl was the least voted for out of the roles, so I had to share!

[kevinwastaken]

okay so idk if anyones done this yet, but this has been in my mind ever since i got into omori lmao

so uhHhHhhh heres my idea for an identity v omori crossover! just because i think it would be neat

this is going to be a super long post (probably), so if you want to read it, just hit read more or whatever

i also want to say that some character choices are gonna be taken from my friend, @/kami.rikki on instagram. but she didnt think as hard on these as i did so like idk

there Will be spoilers for omori, so just be warned of that lmao

so as i said before, this has been on my mind for a HOT minute. and i think it would be a cool collab

for starters, this crossover will be split up (as is every other crossover) in two parts, with one hunter two survivors. i know essence usually have one hunter three survivors, but theres not enough characters for that, and six can be split up evenly sooo

i was thinking that the skins could be like the ones from the persona 5 crossover. like, they can be “awakened” in a sense. the base costumes will be the dream world versions of everyone, while the awakened costumes will be the real world versions. i wasnt here for the persona 5 crossover, so idk how many of those spirit things you had to collect, but i Do know that omoris spirit things could be. uh

well actually i dont know. initially i was thinking lightbulbs, like the one in white space, but the lightbulb isnt too important in the game i dont think? and im not sure about clams either. i know theyre dream world currency, but??

oh actually, maybe you can collect Something to awaken the costumes. because something is a representation of the truth in sunnys mind, and by awakening the costumes, you get to see the characters as their real selves. yeah lets go with that, you collect something from the essence

i swear ive been thinking this out shut up

the hunter costumes wont be awakened though, and i have a reason for this

anyway

part one

the characters that will be present in part one are sunny, basil, and aubrey. i chose them first because. ofc, sunnys the protag, basils his best friend and helped cover up maris death hes important to the story but anyway, and aubrey is <<33 yuh

so heres whos going to be who:

sunny/omori as wu chang

so let me preface this by saying that im not a hunter main. never have been, never will be. and ive never played wu chang. but i swear thisll make sense, im doing research

wu chang is actually composed of two characters, with two different stats: xie, the white guard, and fan, the black guard. i cant tell the difference while im playing, considering the fact that my ass is either running away or decoding. but theres a difference i looked it up

sunny would be the white guard. xie is a fast chaser, but has slow attack speed. ie, slow hits, slow pallet breaking, that stuff. this reflects how sunny is in the real world. he can run, yes, but hes still physically weak due to being locked in his house for four years and spending all his time sleeping. he would be better for chasing than attacking

omori would be the black guard. fan is the opposite of xie, having slow chasing speed but faster attack speed. this reflects in omori. omori is Very apathetic, and really, i dont think he would care to chase anybody unless it was for a quest. though, i guess killing survivors Is a quest for hunters, but. anyway

in battle, omori is a good fighter. his attacks are strong, (although not as strong as say. aubrey or kel. but who am i to say, the playthrough i watched had omori constantly sad) out of him and sunny, omori would be the attacker. so theres my choice for them

the umbrella can probably be switched for a knife. maybe an elongated knife. im not entirely sure, but i know the umbrella wont stay as an umbrella

basil as kurt frank

so i know what youre thinking. why is basil “the explorer??” hear me out this is actually a really good idea

the true best choice would be emma, since shes the gardener, but idv doesnt like giving characters skins of the opposite gender if you know what i mean. anyway

basil isnt a fighter. hes an assist, yes, but that was only for a crime four years ago. not my point, he wouldnt want to be in the action

i think he’d be a really good decoder. especially a good kurt

i originally wanted him to be prisoner, out of no bias whatsoever (/j) but kurt is a good fit for him

basil hides. he hides from things. he hides from the truth just like sunny, and he hides from others. albeit he still goes outside

i will not lie, i have a very personal grudge against kurt players. i dont want them to have anything because every kurt main ive come across was toxic to me specifically. but anyway

so one of kurts abilities is that he can go smaller to run around undetected and/or hide. i find this perfect for basil, because. yknow. hiding

his other ability is to find password pages and use them to decode ciphers faster. i think this would be funny because basils existence in headspace leads sunny to remembering the truth about maris death. i mean, if he werent in headspace, omori and the gang would continue going on adventures like nothing is wrong, so basil sort of speeds up the acknowledging process

this sounds dumb actually. but it makes sense in my head

anyway, the book would be turned into basils photo album, and he wouldnt have a backpack like kurt does. theres my answer

and finally,

aubrey as margaretha zelle

aubrey was actually really hard to pick out. none of the female survivors really fit her, aside from maybe coord, but i dont know what her gun would turn into. i will admit that her section wont be as detailed as basil or sunnys. but anyway my choice is with margie

aubrey imo would be a good kiter. she has strong stats all around, so i feel as if she’d be a great fit for margie. not to mention her speed boost when falling from large heights, which would make her a faster runner and harder to chase if used right. aubrey would be more physically fit since shes a fighter and seems to do a lot of stuff with the hooligans, which also helps prove that she should be a kiter. ANYWAY

so margie has these music boxes that can mess with the hunter, right? some of aubreys attacks can mess with enemies iirc. soooo theyre kind of similar in a way, arent they?

im not exactly sure what the music box can be turned into. maybe a small piano? aubrey cares about mari a lot, and the reason shes so pissed at everyone and rebellious is because she felt like everyone had forgotten about mari and moved on with their lives. so the music box could be a tribute to mari

i dont know how many changes they made with ann tamakis costume in the persona crossover, other than cosmetics for the skin only, so im not sure if the music box was changed at all. i can dream though

in the case that its changed, the blue box could be the song from the playground in headspace (yknow the one) while the red box could be the final duet song. but just with the piano, not the violin

essence

because yes, i thought about the essence too

of course, aside from the skins, there will be other stuff in the essence too. so itll be as follows:

for portraits, theyre going to be the neutral battle portraits from headspace. aside from basil and mari, who do not have battle portraits. theirs will just be of their neutral expressions with the neutral emotion backround behind them. i would add pictures, but the character pictures add up to six, so i’d run out of room before reaching part two

for graffiti, im not really sure. maybe everyones overworld sprites in headspace? along with maybe one of Something

for accessories, i actually have an idea of what thesell be. theyre going to be character exclusive accessories, just like how tpn did theirs

for aubrey, she’ll have mr plantegg. i was thinking of maybe having her bat as an accessory, but

OH ACTUALLY her bat could be a shop accessory that changes the music boxes!! probably an a tier tbh

anyway, the essence accessory for her is mr plantegg, and its there strictly for cosmetic purposes. for basil, he’d get either a pair of garden shears, or a basil plant, since yknow. his names basil. this is also for cosmetic purposes

they all are. i should say that now, the accessories are all cosmetic except aubreys a tier shop bat

finally, for sunny, im not entirely sure what to give him. i could give him a knife, sure, but then he’d have two knives because of the umbrella. maybe a steak? or a pair of red hands? im torn on this

and that concludes part one

part two

**PLEASE BE AWARE THAT MARIS IMAGE HAS THE PHOTO FROM THE TRUTH ALBUM WHERE SHES HANGING FROM THE TREE. IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT, SKIP PAST IT. SHES THE FIRST CHARACTER IM PUTTING ON HERE

part two consists of mari, hero, and kel. do not separate them </3

here are my character choices:

mari as yidhra

so i know yidhra may seem like a weird choice. i originally thought of maybe mary, but this makes sense to me

yidhra herself will be mari. im not sure which version, but even though i have real world mari in the photo, maybe headspace mari would be better. nobody can see her anyway lmao

yidhras servants will be, again, mari, but she looks as she did when basil and sunny hung her on the tree. her hairs covering her face, with her right eye being visible. kind of like the girl from the ring, but anyway yeah

yidhra is the dream witch. she haunts your dreams and she haunts mine when i go against her. maris death haunts everyone, especially sunny and basil (whom know the truth of what happened,) so this just seems like a perfect fit

her death is “leeched” onto everyones minds (pun entirely intended), so attaching herself to survivors with only her death appearance visible is mmmm

instead of an axe, maybe her weapon can be the jump rope she was hung from? and it can be used as a whip? that makes the most sense to me idk

im not good at explaining things, but if you were to see dream witch in a match, youd know how good this would work

also brings a new meaning to “my thoughts will follow you into your dreams” HELLO

hero as norton campbell

so hero was kind of hard for me to pick too. i wanted him to be a support character, but looking around, there are. barely any that would work. my closest choice was victor, but?? the letters???? they dont correlate

hero doesnt give me kiter vibes, but nortons good at rescues too, as long as youre in an area with obstacles. and usually, when someone dies in battle, hero can make life jam to revive the fallen party member

nortons magnets are used to either bring the hunter closer to him, or push the hunter away. both can be used to stun with obstacles. while hero doesnt have any stun attacks that i can remember, he does have charming abilities that can be used to take damage for the other party members. so similar stuff? idk

i guess his magnets can be turned into chocolate chip cookies, since thats what he uses to heal everyone. if not cookies, then i dont know

oh actually one of nortons abilities is called “attract.” thats so funny if you put hero as him lmao

heros section is kind of short, my bad

kel as william ellis

come on. who else were you expecting me to use? its the basketball man as the football man

while kel is a fighter in battle, he can also be used as a backup healer. aubrey is the main fighter of the group, and hero is the main healer. so hes kind of a catch-all in a sense

kels an athlete. he plays basketball. williams an athlete. he plays football. need i say more

im not gonna lie, this is kind of a don tpn situation where it just Makes Sense that kel would be william

the football will probably be replaced with either a rubber ball or a basketball, depending on which skin youre using. the former is for headspace kel, the latter for real world kel

the buffs and debuffs for william makes sense on kel too. kel would probably have trouble with something as (probably) complex as the cipher machines, and the struggle and vaulting buffs show off his athleticisim

same with the football, using rush to rescue is such a kel thing to do

essence

for part two, there will be about the same things as part one

the portraits will be the neutral battle portraits, this time with the real world counterparts of everyone. basil and maris will be their neutral expressions on the neutral battle background. though, since mari doesnt have Real real world portraits, i guess they could use the one from the one i used on the mari yidhra picture

for graffiti, it can be the real world overworld sprites

in terms of accessories, theyre still cosmetic and character exclusive. maris can be the white egret orchid, since thats the flower that represents her. heros can be a spatula, as thats his weapon of choice in headspace. for kel, im not sure. hes using the ball as a weapon so???

maybe he can get a cactus, because thats his assigned plant

in terms of shop items, i think i know the perfect thing

mewo as a pet

mewo my beloved. nobody could ever forget you

mewo would be a hunter pet. she would be cool for survs too i guess, but considering both her owners are hunters.....

mewo would probably follow the hunter around, not really doing much. i think it would be Extremely funny though if every time a survivor was chaired, she just chilled next to them in the pose shes always in in white space

thats pretty much it. if you got this far, thank you!! i spent like two hours writing this whole thing out LMAO damn

[markoftheasphodel]

When Xmas Cavs Grow Up

Just to get all my thoughts in one place, especially as a) I haven’t talked about Seth & Orson in a long time and b) FE15 happened.

One of the (cough) archetypical hallmarks of Fire Emblem casts is the “Cain and Abel,�� meaning not murderous siblings but a pair of matched knights who are friends or friendly rivals. One wears red and one wears green, one is loud and the other is quiet, one is serious and the other is fun-loving, often one whacks things with a sword while the other spears things with a lance. It’s a consistent enough trope to get its own page (70) in the 20th anniversary artbook.

But what happens when these bright young things grow up? Well, a couple of FE games have given us a glimpse of it.

Spoilers for Archanea, Jugdral, Magvel, and Valentia follow.

Archanea: Cain and Abel

“I work with a knight called Abel. I tend to get carried away, but he balances me out with his calmness.”

“When there are two precious things in your life… you must choose between them.

So, during the War of Heroes (FE3 Book II/FE12), Cain and Abel aren’t "the Cain & Abel” anymore. A new pair of trainee knights, “rowdy” Luke and “steady” Roderick, fill those roles with Roderick’s love interest Cecil rounding them out as a trio of cavaliers. So what’s become of the OG Christmas Cavs?

Yeah, OK, I think everyone here knows this story. If you don’t, FE Heroes gives you the Cliff’s Notes versions. Cain stayed at Marth’s side, trained a new crop of knights, and per FE3 Book II was trusted enough to help govern Altea when Marth went on missions elsewhere, and became Marth’s advisor after Jagen’s iron bones finally rusted out. Cain’s loud, he likes training, he’s nicknamed The Bull, he’s basically got no life outside of serving Marth.

Meanwhile Abel, the suave Panther to Cain’s Bull, retired, got married, opened a shop, and got dragged back into the war when his wife Est got held hostage by the bad guys, betrayed Marth, got forgiven for it, and then disappears forever after the war, chasing after an equally forever-disappeared Est. We know he and Cain are BFFs because Fire Emblem lore consistently tells us they’re friends, not because they actually have any scenes together or anything. They’ve been imitated, echoed, expied, et cetera.

Cain joins the party in FE12 as an unpromoted Level 9 cavalier, Abel joins many chapters later as a Level 1 paladin. (Don’t ask me how he got that promotion.)

Highlight: You get a better sense of Cain&Abel’s eternal legend from their expies Sully and Stahl in FE13 than you do from the originals.

Jugdral: Glade and Finn

“Glade, this is just the beginning. We still have a long way ahead of us.”

“Yes, we must return to Lenster and restore the flag of the Gae Bolg… That’s when we can finally have a drink together again.”

Archetypes weren’t really a thing during the SNES era but there were definitely call-backs even in the first five installments and FE5 had more than a few callbacks to FE3 specifically (hi, Asvel! Hi, Shannam!). Enter our next pair of veteran BFFs. If you only know Glade as the punchline to the Choose Your Heroes poll them I recommend reading this on Reddit as a primer.

Glade fits into what’s generally seen as the “Cain” archetype– maybe not as naturally talented as his BFF but known for his hard work and enthusiasm. He’s outspoken enough to criticize allies– even (allegedly) royal allies– who are letting down the cause and he’s openly affectionate with his wife Selphina. Life in the resistance has been hard and he’s accumulated a lot of regrets but he’s still in there trying. Finn is the more introverted of the pair, less willing to go on the record about his opinions, less able to demonstrate affection– which impacted his relationship with his own MIA apparent-love-interest Lachesis and is contributing to a strained relationship with his daughter Nanna. His sole passion, if it counts as one, appears to be geopolitical. “Another Abel with the same shitty taste in women,” one member of the FE Subreddit called him in a thread where passions were running high, and while that phrasing isn’t really fair to anyone involved, the underlying connection is legit IMO, though maybe not in the way that poster thought.

Glade and Finn aren’t polar opposites so much as they are variations on a theme (they even use the same weapon), in large part because Glade appears to be Finn’s deliberate foil, spun off to do the exact things FE4!Finn was doing that didn’t gel with where his FE5!characterization was taking him. They’re both loyal, patriotic, and so forth, and they’ve both suffered hardship for the cause of Prince Leif and Leonster, but whatever stroke of fate let Finn catch Prince Quan’s favor when they were kids while Glade stayed behind in Leonster has put a gap between them that friendship can’t bridge 100%. Glade’s doing his job and accumulating worldly success, Finn’s on a crusade that entails high personal sacrifice. Glade’s got his regrets, Finn’s outright broken inside. Glade’s a leader; Finn’s a hero. Glade makes history; Finn becomes a legend.

Unlike Cain & Abel they have actual in-game dialogue, plus the Leonster’s Fall short story in the Thracia artbook to give a sense of who they were as young knights before everything went to utter shit. There’s a lot of emotional build-up to their mid-battle reunion, which itself isn’t that emotional a scene but does include the “we’ll have a drink later” line that seemingly evokes the dialogue between Sigurd and Eldigan early in FE4. Given how that friendship played out, this would seem ominous… but, as it happens, fate has pretty much done its worst to these two already. There’s no betrayal, no falling out. After the war Glade enjoys his hot wife and promotion and makes New Thracia into an efficient and modern war machine. Finn disappears into the desert for three years because Reasons but he does come back. Remake plz?

Finn’s in Leif’s starting party as a Level 7 unpromoted unit, Glade joins in Ch13 as a Level 2 promoted unit.

Highlight: In spite of all the ways in which Jugdral is hell this is the only world in which our Veteran Cav BFFs might have the chance to continue their friendship later in life.

Magvel: Seth and Orson

“If Orson can turn his back on Renais… We remaining knights will have to work all the harder to prove ourselves!”

“You’re an impressive knight, Seth. You would sacrifice your life for king and country. Not even a moment’s pause. It’s a pitiful, unrewarding life, through and through.”

One of my contentions about FE8 has always been that, despite the mechanical similarities to FE2 (dual lords, monsters, etc) that the plot was a reworking of the War of Heroes, with more emphasis on character development and far less on the overall heroic myth. Given the shit that dedicated knights go through for their Lords, it was only a matter of time before we got to see what happened when somebody actually snapped. Abel betrayed Marth and all but he didn’t mean to, and Marth forgave him, and he’s just kind of an incoherent mess (see: FE Heroes) thereafter of his loyalty and his love for Est and his regrets for his treason. Finn breaks inside but keeps going on his impossible path despite a wasteland of collateral damage (including Glade at one point) around him and stakes that rise from “stay alive” to “reclaim Leonster” to “unify all Thracia” to “liberate entire continent from Dark Lord” because well, that’s what he does. Either way, they lose the girl (to say the least). Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

Enter Orson, who looks at this particular bad deal being offered and says “to hell with that.”

So Orson and Seth are knights of Renais. Orson seems to be the older of the two. He’s got a quiet and serene personality (so, he’s the Abel) and he’s got a wife named Monica. Seth is the commander of the Knights of Renais, is renowned as The Silver Knight, has the other young knights looking up to him. He’s not boisterous like some of the Cain-types but he’s got the red hair, the training-freak personality (see: FE Heroes), and so on. Seth in typical Cain fashion doesn’t have a ladyfriend… yet. Hold that thought.

Long story short, Orson doesn’t betray Renais because Monica’s being held as a hostage. He betrays Renais because Monica’s already dead and in the grave six months and Grado’s dark powers offer her back in some horrible fashion. He sells out his country to enjoy alone time with the ghastly puppet of his wife, and when Seth finally confronts him mid-game Orson’s just sane enough to offer a concise and brutal takedown of the whole knighthood thing. And this hits Seth hard, because Seth’s been keeping his own secrets– specifically, his improper feelings for his liege lady princess Eirika– and FE8′s story is an entire gallery of bad examples of what twisted love can do to a person. Orson, Carlyle, Lyon himself– this roll call of the mad and the damned is what’s held up to Seth as his fate should he give into his heart: “there but for the grace of god(s) go I.”

But Magvel is surprisingly kind to Seth, offering him a happy ending with Eirika in spite of his own protests or a union with the lovely priestess Natasha. Orson gets a dirt nap in the company of what’s left of Monica.

Seth joins at the start as a Level 1 Paladin, Orson joins in Ephraim’s first chapter as a Level 3 Paladin before turning his colors.

Highlight: This is the only case in which the Veteran Cavs are not in some sense a retcon onto the source material.

Valentia: Clive and Fernand

“Enough, Fernand. You’ve suffered enough. You needn’t flog yourself any further.”

“Good… I am…rather tired. Tired of despair… Tired of rage… But Clive…I’m glad I got to see you one last time.”

FE2 didn’t have anything mapping to the "Cain & Abel” Xmas Cav archetype because it wasn’t an archetype yet and definitely didn’t have any take on the adult version thereof. FE15, besides retconning Forsyth into the ambitious Green Knight to the stolid Red Knight played by Lukas, plum invented an entire “veteran cav BFFs” tragic subplot for us to enjoy. Nice.

So on the one hand we have Clive. Clive’s the leader of the rebel group known as the Deliverance, has impeccable breeding and a glowing reputation, a sizable chunk of the playable cast has the hots for him, etc. He’s got a canon love interest, the glamorous paladin Mathilda, so you might expect based on the above that the plot-gods are about to take a wrecking ball to Clive’s life.

Except Clive also has a BFF and his BFF has problems. Orson at least has the pretense of being on the lords’ side before Seth unmasks him as a traitor. Fernand’s a prick from the moment he shows up on screen and promptly flounces from the Deliverance all in a froth over being led by a “farmboy” like Alm and lends his services (such as they are) to Rigel’s Lord Berkut. There’s also a hint that Fernand is actually into Mathilda himself (oh noes), but the entire Deliverance scene is rife with homoerotic subtext[*] and Fernand’s got a pretty bad case of it. Since Clive still cares a lot about his BFF we then have to make the attempt to redeem Fernand, which of course fails, so this particular version of the veteran cav subplot ends with a big dramatic death scene with a CG and lots of ellipses and everything. 

Their whole subplot is wrapped up in an interesting if maybe not entirely successful take on what knights exactly are for– what kind of ruler is a legitimate ruler? How is that ruler best served? Unlike all of the previous examples, Clive and Fernand started their careers as knights sworn to a shitty, useless, negligent king, one whose bloodline was apparently extinct by the start of the game. There’s never any question that Cain serves Marth, that Glade and Finn serve Leif, that Seth serves the twins of Renais. If Abel and Orson waver it’s not because Marth or the twins are not the right lords to serve, but because Abel and Orson have personal weaknesses. But Clive and Fernand both have to make an actual conscious choice as to whom they are going to serve, and Clive makes the right choice (with a lot of second-guessing along the way) and Fernand doesn’t, the end.

Clive joins as a Level 6 cavalier; Fernand is not playable in the main game.

Highlight: These guys get their own prequel in the Rise of the Deliverance DLC, wherein Fernand is playable .

* Xmas Cavs and their grown-up equivalents generally do have some measure of that goin’ on (Seth and Orson being an exception), but the Deliverance is pretty hard to overlook.

[crippling-amxiety-and-depression]

Memories of You (Journal Entry #10)

Ah yes, the inevitable Stef post. This one was coming in eventually, just cause it’s crazy to thing how much someone can have an impact on your life without even having that much of a personal connection with them. I bet for all 5 of you reading this, you’re probably thinking, “Oh boy another video game song!”. Well yeah, but for good reason. I played through the game that this song is from, Persona 3, during my Junior year, around the time this shit happened. So anyways in order to explain sophomore/junior year Stef, I first have to explain 8th grade Stef. So Stef was this really nice girl who I knew in middle school. During that time when hormones are running rampant and kids are just figuring out what attraction to others is, having a crush on someone was a pretty common thing imo. Like it feels like something that naturally happens at that age to every kid at least once just cause it’s a part of growing up. Anyways, since my days as a wee lad, I never really had friends of the opposite sex. Idk why really, but throughout my life (even to right now to an extent), I’ve always had a fear of talking to people of the opposite sex for some reason. Idk if it’s a normal thing or not, but I’ve just always been like that. So throughout middle school, it was pretty natural for me to only hang out with guys just cause that’s where I felt comfortable with myself. Around 8th grade, I was able to befriend Stef fairly easily and for once I didn’t feel all nervous and giddy around her, I just felt normal. It was nice, having a friend who was a girl for a change of pace. Our friendship wasn’t too deep, since I never really got to know her that well, but it was still a nice friendship. She had a couple of boyfriends that year and I even remember shouting at him “If you ever hurt her again I’ll kick your ass!” (Which is a total lie since 8th grade me was a 4′7 kid who had yet to hit puberty). If it was to the point where I felt defensive about her like that, I’d say we had a decent friendship. So when we started high school, I ended up kinda losing contact with her since we had different lunch hours and schedules, so I never really saw her. But come sophomore year, we ended up sharing a class where we almost always had free time, so we were able to catch up and rekindle that nice friendship from two years prior. At this point I was a major dork and I was able to make her laugh quite often, and making her laugh so often and just telling stories and talking about anime and what not was just so fun. At this point I was still developing that strong ass friendship I had with the boi Frank, and although I had other people to hang out with, I didn’t have that same dynamic with anyone else. It was a really unique feeling, being able to bring happiness to someone else like that on a nearly daily basis for a year. Before I knew it, I started falling for her and I let my imagination run wild. I was an inexperienced high schooler who was a dork and had never been in anything inherently close to a relationship yet, so I didn’t really know what to say or do. Around this time I met a really cool dude named John (s/o to you you’re chill af man never change <3), and it turns out he had dated Stef during our freshman year (when I didn’t have contact with Stef at all). I ended up telling him how I felt about her (at the time I had no idea they had dated) and I asked him what should I do about it because I sure as hell had no idea what to do about it. He told me to just go for it, and that if anyone had a shot with her it would definitely be me. We had this conversation around March, and I came so close to asking her about it so many times, but I could never bring myself around to doing it. Spring passed, and so did summer, and I still hadn’t acted on my feelings at all. When school started again in August, I would see her every morning walking to class, and I would always smile and say Hi, but never anything else. I still had lingering feelings for her, and I thought of so many different ways of trying it out. Like I knew where her locker was, I easily could’ve just dropped something in there, or asked to talk to her sometime after school, but I never did. I ended up going to the LA county fair towards the end of September, and I think that night was the turning point for me. I was separated from my family for a few minutes, and something about the atmosphere that night really got to me. Seeing all these couples having the time of their lives, and me just sulking around like a sad sack of shit alone really got to me, and left this empty feeling inside of me. I told myself, “If I had told Stef since March, she could’ve been here with me right now. I can’t hold this in anymore”, and from that moment I had decided that the next time  I saw her, I would ask her to the homecoming game/dance and I would at least hear what she had to say about it. Never in my life did I ever feel like my heart was gonna leap out of my chest, I was so nervous that the first time I was gonna tell her I ended up just croaking out a greeting and left as fast as I could because goddamn it was so bad I was just sweating bullets and it was awful. The next time I would see her was in between classes, and for some reason, my dumbass decided, “I have 2 minutes to chat it up, now’s my chance!” (pro tip for all you youngsters out there, trying to do some shit like this in 2 minutes is impossible, abort mission). Instead of my original intention of “Hey do you wanna go to the homecoming game and dance together?” I ended up nervously splurting, “HEY DO YOU WANNA BE MY GIRLFRIEND???” Which by the way I shit you not I said it exactly like that and oh boy i fucking regretted it so much as soon as I said it like man you don’t even know. ANYWAYS MY TERRIBLE GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE ASIDE she said no in the nicest way possible, but ended up saying six words that would fuck me up to this very day. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”. At first I was just relieved that we both got this out of the way and I didn’t have to worry about it. But afterwards I started to think about it and that damned question haunted me. It’s silly to say this to a bunch of strangers, but even though Stef and I never had anything going on, it still hurt a lot. I would see her every morning when i walked to my first class, and I would just smile and say hi like everything was fine, but all this was a real blow to how I would interact with people who I liked. Like from now on a constant thought in my head was “I have to say something now or it’ll be too late” or “it’s too late I blew it”. I would see her walking around with other people after school from a window in night school, it really hurt. I had these massive ups and downs for the rest of that school year, and whenever I would go out to the mall or even if someone knocked on my door I would legit freak out because I thought it was her for some weird fucking reason, idk how to describe it but maybe paranoia is the proper word for it? Idk all I know is that I felt like total shit because of this and I honestly felt that if I had just kept my stupid mouth shut things would’ve been so much better. Later on I found out that she was actually really weird and had tried getting with two of my best friends at some point (the fact that she had never even bothered with me despite being willing to date her just rubbed salt in the wound), and that she was overall a really messed up person. Some would say that I really dodged a bullet there (in my case the gun was never really loaded in the first place but I think you get the point) but the whole experience really fucking sucked. I went through so many ups and downs, and hit tons of low points in so little time that I legitimately hated myself, it really sucked. But if all this taught me anything, it’s that you really should keep yourself in check, and don’t let your head run wild with thoughts, cause when it all comes crashing down it hurts even harder. Anyways it’s 2:30 am and I haven’t dropped the song link yet, give this song a good listen some of the lyrics remind me of a shittier time but in a good way, especially since I beat this game during one of my ups and it was just overall a feel good moment ^~^

Kimi no Kioku (Original Jap. Version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-CSZDbKuL4 Memorie of You (KICKASS COVER BY AN AMAZING HUMAN NAMED SAPPHIRE, GO CHECK HER OTHER SHIT OUT THIS SONG MAKES ME SO HAPPY AHHH): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOKyf_7J6sA