#like how Maggie and Nina's conversation happens while dancing

[microclown]

I've been stuck on viewing Maggie as Crowley's mirror, and for most of the show I like that interpretation. But once I started thinking of Nina as Crowley's Mirror in the ball scene specifically, I made a connection....

Aziraphale is playing God here. He has a vision- a happy romantic evening where people speak Victorian English, dress nicely, dance, and fall in love -and he wills everyone present to conform to his plan. But Nina doesn't conform. Nina feels like something isn't right. She asks questions.

She asks Aziraphale what's going on, why she doesn't feel sad when she knows she's sad, and Aziraphale doesn't give her a satisfactory answer. He tells her that the important thing is that she's here. She's here to play a role in his great plan. To dance in his ball.

So she expresses her concerns to Maggie. Maggie hadn't seen the issues at first, but she listens to Nina, and Nina gets her to acknowledge the absurdity of the situation just a little bit. Listen to their conversation at the dance again. It sounds SO MUCH like the conversations we've heard Crowley and Aziraphale have a thousand times during their 6000 year dance. Crowley calling out heaven, asking questions, trying to get Aziraphale to consider the absurdity of it all. Aziraphale mostly defending heaven, but listening, and sometimes acquiescing.

And this all falls in line with a point I've made before - In season 2, Crowley's relationship with Aziraphale begins to mirror his relationship with heaven. Aziraphale shows a pattern of not listening to Crowley the whole season, but especially in this scene. Crowley tries to ask him what is going on, and alert him to very real danger, but Aziraphale is dismissive. He is blinded by his desire to see his plan to fruition.

And just so we're clear, this is not an Aziraphale hate post. Rather, I think it might give us some insight into where God is coming from. Because Aziraphale's actions may be dismissive and controlling, but they are motivated by love. Misguided, certainly, but with all the best intentions. I have a feeling, when we finally meet God, it will be a similar story. And maybe both She and Aziraphale will learn that sometimes to love means to let go.

[the-ineffable-dance]

In this post, I took a look at the beginning of the Final Fifteen and how Aziraphale's walk back to the bookshop is not the look of an excited or happy angel... instead, it looks like he's upset and desperately making a plan. Whelp, it's time for the next step of the heartbreak that is the Final Fifteen... Aziraphale's dance.

The first thing that happens when Aziraphale enters the bookshop is Nina and Maggie head out from their chat with Crowley. We follow them out, and the camera leaves them and joins the Metatron as he approaches Muriel on the patio reading a book. He checks in on her, and then straightens up, turning around. This gives him the perfect vantage point to stare straight into the bookshop window right at where our angel and demon are talking.

As you can see in the gif above, Aziraphale can see him from where he's standing. Before he even looks at Crowley, he sees the Metatron through the window.

Crowely starts his confession. He doesn't get very far... but really, he doesn't need to. These are two beings who know each other so well they can tell by tone of voice how the other is feeling. And Aziraphale knows just from the tone what Crowley is trying to say. There's a reason that it's taken them 6000 years to say how they feel... it's dangerous. It was never an unnecessary fear on their part, it was a very real and very present danger. And now, Crowley is about to say all the things that Aziraphale wants to hear, and the danger IS STARING AT THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW.

He hasn't even really looked at Crowley yet... heard the tone that Crowley was using, and looking out the window... Yep! Metatron, right there. Note his hands. Up and down. I didn't watch all of Extraordinary Attorney Woo for nothing! Those are "woah woah" hands. Like, stop talking, stop talking, STOP TALKING.

When he finally does look at Crowley, that's not a happy face. Not the face of someone that's finally hearing the confession they've been longing for for millennia. Michael Sheen has given Aziraphale the most endearing heart eyes throughout season 2...

But no heart eyes here? If everything went great with the Metatron and Aziraphale is completely on board with returning to Heaven with Crowley by his side, why in the world would he interrupt this moment? Letting Crowley profess his love would only strengthen Aziraphale's push to stay together. It is "Incredibly good news" after all. No, things did NOT go well with the Metatron, and they are in trouble. And so, Aziraphale is starting to panic. Crowley isn't paying attention to the "shush" hands, or his repeated looks out the window, so the only thing left is to interrupt. Aziraphale's bumbling rush to cut Crowley off feels a lot like "I can't let you continue so you don't incriminate yourself."

SO!! Azi jumps in with his version of his conversation with the Metatron. The "Good News" - "I... (mouth working furiously without sound)... the Metatron..." I don't think it's 'normal Aziraphale stutter' in the moment between those two words. There are plenty of times when Azi gets a little tongue tied when he's too excited (either due to lying OR trying to impress Crowley). But usually when he does that, he looks up and to the left. Instead, this time he makes eye contact with Crowley and does not look away. If you look closely, I'm nearly certain that he mouths the words "We Need Help."

What convinces me of this even more is that Crowley begins to watch him very intently. He's frustrated... certainly! But he doesn't fall into their normal banter. No quips, no growling at being cut off, no gentle arguing. He can absolutely tell from Aziraphale's tone that this is his "Something's Wrong Voice" and instantly listens.

Then the full dance begins. Aziraphale does begin his normal stutter with the wandering hands... he's trying to not say the wrong thing here and make their situation worse while still being convincing that he's going along with what the Metatron wanted.

Crowley tries to play along... until the offer to become an angel again comes up. I don't think that Aziraphale knows just how painful that concept is for Crowley. And with good reason, because I highly doubt that Crowley has been honest with him about it. Aziraphale loves Crowley for ALL that he is, but since he doesn't know how hurtful this will be, he just blunders right into the offer.

Crowley is so hurt? (Offended? Enraged?) by the concept of becoming an angel again, that he can't keep up the dance they've been putting on for the Metatron. In fact, he immediately fires off "And you told him just where he could stick it then." It's not actually a question for Aziraphale... He knows they're being listened to. He's directly telling the Metatron where he can stick it. "We're better than that" = "We're better than YOU (Metatron)"

And we watch the smile fall from Aziraphale's face. IMO, there is no question that Aziraphale suffers from CPTSD. People (and people shaped beings) with CPTSD can have a very hard time when there is a sudden, unexpected emotional response to something they've done or said. He thought they were on the same page, and suddenly Crowley isn't playing along, and he's angry. Furious. And Aziraphale falls back on old habits as he tries to regain his footing... thus, the unfortunate comment of "You're the bad guys." It's a terrible thing to say. And I'm not trying to excuse Azi for saying it... but it was a trauma response to an unexpected situation.

"Tell me you said no!" "If I'm in charge, I can make a difference."

The dance is over... these lines are not for the Metatron's benefit, or anyone else's. This is real. Crowley wants Aziraphale to say no to the Metatron, regardless of the situation. Aziraphale thinks he can only thwart the Metatron/ protect Crowley and the world by going to Heaven.

Ouch my heart! Onward to Crowley's confession (and possibly a post about the prologue to this heartache and the conversation between Azi and Metatrash)

[ao3cassandraic]

What does Aziraphale know and when does he know it? Part 3, The Fiasco

Prologue, Part 1, and Part 2, for those who need them.

Let's play an incredibly clichéd game about acting: What's My Motivation?

When Aziraphale walks back into the bookshop after his chinwag with the Metatron, Crowley's motivation is singular and steel-strong: he wants to declare his love for Aziraphale and truly launch Our Side. That's it. That's all there is.

If only things were so clear for our poor angel. If we accept my prior analysis, at this point he's got several things he needs to do, all of them in the name of thwarting the Metatron's wiles:

Like Shax, inform Crowley that something -- something still unclear, but definitely something -- is going down in the up. Up up. (Beautiful bookending here. Beautiful.)

Beg for Crowley's help to...

Make a plan to deal with it. (And he's all out of plan-juice after the demon fight in the bookshop, poor angel.)

All this without letting the Metatron know that Aziraphale doesn't trust him, didn't buy his bullshit, doesn't want to accept his job offer but may have to accept to have any chance of thwarting him (or, you know, surviving), and thinks the whole business reeks to (you should excuse the expression) high Heaven. He has reason to think this feat can be pulled off, because he knows from the chinwag that the Metatron is neither infallible nor omniscient.

So yeah, I think there's some playwright or screenwriter slogan about characters who are talking to one another having completely different conversations at the same time? Totally what's happening here.

In a truly remarkable bit of dramatic irony, Crowley, who is usually a stickler for kayfabe, has utterly dropped it -- he's being gorgeously heart-on-his-sleeve sincere -- while Aziraphale, who is often slack about kayfabe, is playacting for the Metatron's benefit like their lives depend on it. This... doesn't help them get on the same page. (Litotes. Your key to quality meta.)

Let's see how that works out for them.

As Nina and Maggie leave after blowing Crowley's brain to smithereens, Aziraphale continues taking deep breaths to pull himself together, pasting on a smile for the ladies... and, as it turns out, for the Metatron watching from across the street.

He who hesitates is lost; the determined, singleminded Crowley starts in. Aziraphale tries non-verbally to stop him. That's what the hands-out pushing-down-and-away gesture is -- with a quick sidewise glance out the window toward the Metatron, no less. But Crowley will not be stopped, so Aziraphale has to use his words -- "hold that thought."

Not "no." Not "I'm talking blithely over you for no reason." Just "not now, please, I need help." And again, I can't blame him. He does need help, urgently, because whatever bullshit the Metatron laid down about "take all the time you need," he's expecting an answer from Aziraphale (and it jolly well better be "yes" at that) and worse, he's not leaving the vicinity to wait for it.

So Aziraphale starts explaining the Metatron's offer, sounding rather forced and inarticulate. None of the bodily markers of true Aziraphalean joy are present. He's holding his torso straight and still, and his hands are not doing the shoulder-level wave of joy -- they're doing the aimless-gesture dance of anxious confusion.

He says, "The Metatron... you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow -- well, I think I might have misjudged him."

When Aziraphale's happy, he tosses around words like "nice" and "kind" and "good." Did y'all hear any of those words? I didn't. I heard another covert call for help: I misjudged the Metatron, Crowley, he's not as bad as I thought -- he's so, so much worse! And he rather reasonably thinks Crowley will pick up on this because they've played a lot of rounds of the kayfabe clue-dropping improv game over the millennia, the last round not fifteen minutes ago.

Then Aziraphale recounts the chinwag. His words appear accurate (the cuts back and forth to the chinwag itself are pretty seamless), though again, we don't know what he might be leaving out.

Crowley is distracted from his purpose by the raised bribe. "He said what?!"

If I'm Aziraphale in this moment, with the Metatron all but physically dragging me back to Heaven, I would want Crowley with me there in the worst way! Going to Heaven together, rather than Aziraphale alone, might be the start of a plan capable of thwarting the Metatron! So I don't think Aziraphale's starry-eyed statement of the offer is about wanting to change Crowley (though the implication absolutely is there for us to pick up on and dislike). I don't think it's about keeping Crowley safe, either -- anyplace with the Metatron in it is categorically not safe. It's a "yes, actually, this might work! do you think it'll work? will you come with me and see?"

Aziraphale then puts on the unhappiest happy-news performance ever. No happy hands. No shoulder shimmies. His voice is in its highest, most anxious register. His smile is decidedly tense and kayfabe-y.

Over the next part of the fiasco, Aziraphale figures out that Crowley hasn't picked up the kayfabe phone; the angel's face visibly falls as he listens to Crowley rant. Crowley's taking all this seriously -- which is also reasonable; Crowley's being honest and Aziraphale, historically, mostly ignores kayfabe. And this is a problem, because Aziraphale still needs Crowley to locate a clue, still needs a plan, still needs help.

So Aziraphale calls back to the s1 bandstand: he starts telling the same old whoppers about good and evil and Heaven and Hell, whoppers so transparent to Crowley (and likely enough to fool the Metatron, what with his contempt for everyone ever) that Crowley must pick up on the kayfabe, mustn't he? Mustn't he?

But he doesn't. Crowley doesn't pick up on it. (Again, fair. He's had to put up with centuries of Aziraphalean unexamined self-righteousness.) He just says "Tell me you said no," with a strong undercurrent of "if you actually care for and value me, you bloody well said no."

And Aziraphale can't, because the Metatron is watching, explain that he didn't say no because the Metatron was not taking no for an answer, and because Aziraphale himself doesn't know what to do, which response will lead to a Metatron-thwarting. He's running out of kayfabe lines to say that will get Crowley back onside, and this desperation shows in his face and his two or three fruitless attempts to speak, before he finally says, sincerely to my ear, that he could make a difference.

Which is what he's trying to do! It's his motivation! He wants to make a difference by thwarting the fucking Metatron! Which may well mean going back to Heaven!

But this isn't the meaning that Crowley hears (and a lot of us missed it too, me included at first -- no shade, Gaiman and Sheen did a lights-out job of trick-with-the-truth with that line). Crowley hears that Aziraphale wants to go work with the Metatron to do Heaven's will, and he'll trample Crowley's very identity to do so. So Crowley, still singleminded, still determined, now as desperate as Aziraphale to be understood, finally forces himself as close as he can get to a declaration of love.

Watch Aziraphale as Crowley declares them a team, a group. He glances out toward the Metatron again. He looks anxious and unhappy, hardly the face of an angel whose long-time unacknowledged partner is finally acknowledging their partnership. This isn't what Aziraphale needs just then. Just then, Aziraphale needs Crowley's help, and he can't for the life of him figure out how to tell Crowley that without tipping off the Metatron to the kayfabe. He's failed at it how many times by now?

Then Crowley pulls a second bandstand: "we can just go off together." Aziraphale, as other meta-ists have noted, can't say yes to this any more than he did in s1. He's got a Metatron to thwart! So he shakes his head, and he begs Crowley to come with him, repeating that they can make a difference. That's sincere! He wants them to! But, to my ear, there's still a teensy bit of possible kayfabe in there, with "second-in-command." That just rings false.

"You can't leave this bookshop." "Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever." Kayfabe, kayfabe, kayfabe -- Aziraphale is a guardian and an avowed and demonstrated preservationist. This line is for the Metatron to buy and Crowley to finally do a proper WTF about.

And Crowley WTFs, all right, but in the wrong way, putting on his shades and heading for the door. Now Aziraphale is truly desperate -- he tries to call Crowley back, and he tells another part of the truth: "I NEED YOU!" To help. To thwart the Metatron.

And yet another part of the truth, duly kayfabed, with the angel starting to be a bit irked at Crowley's stubborn misapprehension: "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." Namely, a chance to thwart the Metatron.

Crowley sure doesn't. He suuuuuuuuuuuure doesn't. He's still having a completely different conversation. Aziraphale gives up in exasperated despair: "then there's nothing more to say." And on his face at that moment: calculation and displeasure, because he still has a Metatron to thwart and it's looking like he'll have to do it alone.

Only Crowley has more to say, about the absence of nightingales and us-es. And Aziraphale's face is all are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Aziraphale still has a Metatron to thwart, and if Crowley won't help, the least he can do is get out of the way, as Aziraphale made him do in their earlier argument over helping Jimbriel.

He looks away, giving Crowley the chance to jump him, haul him in by the lapels, and kiss him. Because that's the conversation Crowley's been having all along.

If I'm Aziraphale in this moment, my brain is exploding in several directions. I have a Metatron to thwart. He's watching this drama from across the street. What is he thinking, and how do I deal with him now? I don't have Crowley's help to thwart him. With that in mind, do I accept or refuse the job offer? I have finally figured out the urgency of the conversation Crowley thought we were having. I'm so terribly sorry I didn't make any gestures toward that conversation, because -- Crowley is actually kissing me, there aren't enough WTFs in the entire history of the entire universe for this!

No wonder his hands are tentative. No wonder the camera doesn't let us see much of his face; the above is a lot to convey for even the mega-ultra-talented Master of Microexpressions Michael Sheen.

Aziraphale, shocked and irked and scared and brain-exploded and feeling new things, tries kayfabe (mixed with truth; he is direly irked at Crowley's obtuseness) one last time: "I forgive you." Surely this time Crowley's got to --

But no. Still no uptake. Crowley leaves. Fiasco complete.

Next post will be the last: The Aftermath. Plus some comment on this as, in my view, the most parsimonious and narratively accommodating read on the scene, ergo (again, in my view) the likeliest.

[noneorother]

The secret timeline inside of Good Omens season 2 revealed, *part2*

Part 1 l Part 2

The ineffable cut is explained in part 1. Please read that first. (I’ve burnt a timecode into this ineffable edit to help pick up the rhythm.)

So now that I've shown you XX:X6 is the number of the beast in the last installment, what else can we glean? Well, it turns out angel numbers (sequences of repeated numbers ex: 22:22 or 20:02) are quite important events in the S2 universe! I've cut together every "Angel Number" I could find in the timeline and put them in order. I first noticed this near the end of the ineffable cut, where Beelzebub and Gabriel hold hands, so I've started with that one just to give you an idea how bonkers this whole sequence is. Don't forget, sound on! Breakdown below the cut.

So we start off with this Beez and Gabriel sequence near the end of the cut. They start singing to each other a little out of time, but lo and behold, at 02:03:20 the music comes in right on time with the seconds ticking by to line them up. By the time they reach 03:33 they're gone.

Aziraphale is excited to get his "record"! He's doing something sneaky, and as a result opens the door to go off to said covert activity on 00:02:22.

Crowley asks "Do they know?" on 03:33. Who are they and why does he want to know? This whole scene is on a St-James park bench so spying and double speak is in progress, clearly.

Crowley then asks "Something big?" on 00:04:44. We get the hint for the main action of the entire second season here. Something's up with the up...

Now the real fun begins! I'll come back to the ones I just skipped in a later post because they're more subtle. Here's the first "real" angel number at 11:11. Aziraphale discovers THE box and touches it for the first time.

At 22:22 Nina and Maggie's signs are "mysteriously" ignored by a human passerby.

This is wild. Aziraphale is learning about the Everyday record and something funny happens. 33:31 Aziraphale says, " Do you have a copy?" 33:32 Maggie says, "Mm, too many of them" and at the same time a car horn beeps twice. 33:33 Aziraphale is startled by the fact that a double car horn happened on a XX:X2 and looks out the window in concern. So the question is: does Aziraphale feel or know the rhythm of the timestamps?? And are things that line up with numbers a signal he's paying attention to?

A funny one! At 44:44 Aziraphale seems to be wanting to check if Gabriel is really who he says he is, and is watching him like a hawk. Gabriel does all he can to do nothing at all and look innocent while the angel number passes by.

Another funny one. Nice. 55:55 reveals that the Bentley likes Aziraphale more than Crowley, and does whatever he wants, including not speeding when he puts his foot down.

This next one's a little peculiar. It seems like an exchange about Gabriel's whereabouts, but it's the halfway point of the edit (1:11:10-11:11:11) of the ineffable timeline and we seem to be having two conversations at once. Shax says on 11:11 "He hates you." Does she mean that she thinks Crowley hates Aziraphale, or... that Gabriel hates Aziraphale. Aziraphale looks noticeably shocked at her reply. After the eyebrow raise of "You don't seem like his type at all" I would bet we're not talking about Crowley anymore. How did she get this information?

01:22:22 Gabriel does a little laugh to himself while signalling with the lamp. What the fuck? Does someone know morse code?

01:33:33 Maggie extends her had to Nina at the ball, to invite her to dance. Nina looks pleased, but doesn't move until... a very odd miracle sound on a XX:X6 happens and she jumps up to take Maggie's hand. That miracle sound is not Aziraphale's, and besides, he would never miracle on a 6. Who's the demon making Nina dance...

Aziraphale's halo toss is the flip from ACT II to ACT III of season 2, and as such, get's a special time right before rolling over to the second hour. He decides to throw it down on exactly 01:54:45, and at 01:54:54 gets a giant tubular bell ring in the music to highlight the action. It lands on the ground at 01:55:01, and incinerates the demons at precisely 01:55:10.

01:59:59 Beez and Gabriel hold hands, and a magical chime sounds at 2:00:00. Maggie start her sentence "Aww, that's really sweet" at the same time, and manages to finish it on 2:00:02. (Dagon politely waits to pretend to barf on a XX:X3 after she's done.)

The last one is a big one : 02:02:02 gets "to face CELESTIAL punishment" by Michael. This is what we've been waiting for the entire season, the Checkov's gun of the book of life. But, where is it? We then get an odd cowboy showdown style stare-off between Michael and Shax. I'm predicting that missing chunk of time in the bookshop before we come back to Michael threatening Aziraphale with the book of life is going to be a pretty interesting reveal in season 3. -------------------------------------------

People, this is the short version of this post. There are SO MANY things to unpack. Next up is doubled numbers. If you want an ides of what it takes to break things down, here's my workflow timeline right now. The stuff after the first big space is numbers I haven't shown you yet... This show is insane.

[portableanimations]

So.. people have been theorising/talking about about season 3 interactions between Crowley and Aziraphale and I’ve seen a good amount of people say that Crowley is just gonna forgive Aziraphale, or that Aziraphale is gonna immediately apologise.

See, I’m one of those people hoping that that’s not the case. I want time to pass and for these two to awkwardly cross paths. I want Crowley to downright say to Aziraphale’s face “I don’t forgive you” if Aziraphale tries to apologise. I wanna see his face contort with confusion because he thinks that’s how it’s supposed to work.. one person says sorry, the other forgives, all done?

I mean, that’s how it’s happened with every other argument/cafuffle they’ve had, right? More or less..

But nope. Because it’s not always that simple.. and it certainly isn’t simple anymore, if it was to begin with. I mean these two have known each other for 6000 years, and have loved each other for so much of that.. but they lack the basic communication skills to just say so.

And then suddenly it is built up in one scene, where everyone wants these two to be officially together. But again.. even around the kiss.. no communication is properly discussed. Sure, they sorta dance around the confession (mostly with Crowley all of a sudden not having the time he thought he had when he had the conversation with Maggie and Nina. And also because of Aziraphale’s already locked in choice to go back to Heaven) that ends with Crowley’s desperate attempt at a kiss to show his Angel how he feels and Aziraphale’s desperate attempt to want to reciprocate but all the while being scared and confused.

I want them both to have a second chance, of course, but I don’t want it to be resolved in the two statements a lot of people want.. I want it to be gritty, I want it so they’re forced to find a way between themselves a better way to communicate to one another, all the while the pair hold onto a bitter(?) kiss and childish resentment to the forefront of their minds.

However, like a lot of things, emotions fizzle. The resentment will fizzle which leaves a hole, one that I hope is filled with fake emotions because they think that’s how they’re meant to feel. And I want them to talk about it, think about it and think about them. How they can make things work out for them, as an Angel and Demon

Betrayal and love are two very strong feelings but mingle them together and you’ve submitted yourself to a whole lot of internal conflicts.

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

NY TIMES: St. Vincent Is Trying to Understand People

As she releases her sixth album, “Daddy’s Home,” the musician expounds on the lengthy documentaries, Janet Jackson bust and Joni Mitchell album that feed her creativity.

By Olivia Horn

May 4, 2021, 10:00 a.m. ET

Despite the hardships of the past year, Annie Clark’s sixth studio album came together with remarkable ease. “Maybe I earned a fun one,” Clark, who records under the name St. Vincent, mused. “Usually there’s some kind of ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ moment. And there just wasn’t.”

Clark, 38, spent much of 2020 shuttling between her home in Los Angeles and her family’s in Texas. But the record (“Daddy’s Home,” due May 14) was born at Electric Lady Studios in Manhattan, where she and her repeat collaborator Jack Antonoff landed on 1970s New York as their lodestar. The resulting songs ease away from the angular art-pop of “Masseduction” from 2017, opting for gentler, slouchier rock. The relative softness corresponds to Clark’s effort to treat the troubled, complicated characters that populate her record with care. Among them are the broke and lovelorn protagonist of the lead single “Pay Your Way in Pain,” Nina Simone, Marilyn Monroe and her own father, whose release from prison in 2019 inspired the title track.

Clark confessed that she did not meet her quarantine goals of learning conversational Italian or writing a tour bus cookbook, but she did read some books about the gulag. Calling from her “utilitarian” Los Angeles studio, she detailed 10 of her favorite things to watch, read and hear — many of her picks reflecting a fascination with history and an eagerness to unpack social and aesthetic violence. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

1. William Scott Sculptures

I discovered William Scott’s work through David Byrne, at his place in New York. And when we were on tour with “Love This Giant,” we went to Creative Growth in Oakland [a nonprofit that supports artists with disabilities]. I had my eye on this bust of Janet Jackson. And then when I was back, I went and bought a bust of CeCe Winans. So I have these busts in my library.

A lot of the artists whose work I collect are people who are marginalized from society in one way or another. What I like about it is that the expression feels very pure. These are people who might not have all of the tools at their disposal or the education, or any of that, but they are compelled to make work. That kind of irrepressible urge in people — that I just find so inspiring and heartening and cool. And it’s completely divorced from any of the status of the quote, unquote, “art world.”

2. Adam Curtis’s Documentary Series “Century of the Self”

The way his work has been described is as emotional history or impressionistic history. The lines that he draws between events and trends are not exactly “A plus B equals C,” but the general thesis is like, “the collective consciousness is saying this.” As a writer, I’m always trying to understand systems and understand people.

3. Ric Burns’s “New York: A Documentary Film”

I used to live in a rent-controlled place in the East Village. But it was shady how I lived there, so I was never able to get utilities in my name. I lived there for 10 years and I didn’t have the internet, so I had DVDs. I used to go to Kim’s Video all the time and buy DVDs so when I would wake up hung over and be like, “Oh, just can’t quite make it out of bed today,” I would have something to put on. If I wanted to watch something it wasn’t like “Netflix and chill.” I associate that Ric Burns documentary with being either hung over or tired or both, and watching it in my bed.

4. Joni Mitchell’s “Hejira”

This is one of those Joni Mitchell records that I didn’t hear until I was in my early 20s. Everybody knows “Blue” and “Ladies of the Canyon,” but this is when I became a Joni Mitchell fan, with a capital F. This record’s just so deep. Her lyrics are … Cubist. I’m thinking of the one where she’s like, “In the mirrors of a modern bank/From the window of a hotel room.” And it’s all wiggles, you know? It’s like water, that record. And I don’t mean to make it about me, but I feel like I can understand some of the things that Joni talks about, like the refuge of the road, or watching the world from an airplane or being in a hotel room.

5. Maggie Nelson’s “The Art of Cruelty”

This is one of those books that I picked up six times and would get through a few pages and be like, “This is really brilliant,” but it felt impenetrable at first. Then I had this one weekend where the clouds parted, and I just could see it and plowed through it. It talks about the ethics of being an artist in a way that is so brilliant, and so not orthodox or finger wagging. I think it’s one of those books you can revisit at various points of your life.

6. Her Own STV Signature Series Guitar

Part of it was inspired by Klaus Nomi’s tuxedo. And I wanted it to hit my sternum in a particular way. I am cis female, so the way that it hits the sternum and then has a little bit of a cutaway, it makes room for my breast. But just one of them. There’s only room for one! I love it. It’s the only electric that I play, with very rare exception.

I saw people’s pictures of it from the Met [in the exhibition “Play It Loud: Instruments of Rock & Roll”], because I never got a chance to go and see it in real life. Most of the time, I just kind of like quietly put my head down and work — and then every once in a while, I look up and see something that I’ve made, and it’s mysterious that it’s in the world.

7. Wim Wenders’s “Pina”

I love Pina Bausch’s work. I was really inspired by “The Rite of Spring,” where the virgin dances herself to death. There’s this one particular movement that was like, drawing your hand above your head, and then when you pull it down, your elbow goes into your stomach — sort of like you’re open and then you’re impaling yourself. It just moved me to tears. So when I worked with my friend Annie-B Parson to choreograph the Digital Witness Tour, I was like, “Can we please incorporate this?” Another big thing: I was obsessed with falling. That was another big part of the Bausch work. How do you fall and make it look violent but not hurt yourself? I’d get a rehearsal room with Annie-B and just practice falling.

8. Vintage RCA 77-D Microphone

It’s an old ribbon mic, and it just sounds so good and warm. I know these are words that might not mean that much — when people describe sound as warm, it’s reductive. But it makes things sound and feel true. I don’t mean that it has perfect fidelity. What I mean is that when you sing into this microphone, what comes back at you feels honest. My friend Cian Riordan, who mixed “Daddy’s Home,” hipped me to this mic.

9. “Hidden Brain” Podcast

There was one recently about the idea of honor culture. You know, if someone is insulting someone’s masculinity and masculinity is tied up with honor, you have to avenge that insult. A lot of these “honor societies” end up with more violence because you have to save face and there’s less ways to assimilate conflict. The premise of so much of “Hidden Brain” is that we live by the stories we tell ourselves. And as a storyteller, that idea is very liberating to me, because if we live by the stories we tell ourselves, it means that when we get new information, we can assimilate that information and tell ourselves new stories.

10. Piazza della Signoria in Florence

The first time I was there was with my mom and sisters. I remember just walking through this piazza and having a wonderful time and wonderful conversation, and really being awe-struck by the architecture and the history, and just that life was beautiful. Another time, a number of years later, I was on tour with David Byrne and we had our last show in Florence, and I remember walking through with band members and then having the best dinner of my life after. It’s one of those places where, at very pivotal points of my life, I’ve been there and only beautiful things have happened to me.