#like holy shit Garrett

[tiafrye]

Solas in Vows and Vengeance be like

Before receiving the artifact: polite, tired

After receiving the artifact: AWWWWE YIS BABY *hot delulu trickster mod ON* Oh, do not be afraid, LET ME DEMONSTRATE 8DDDDD

[cherrrydragon]

➤ find something worth saving (it's all for the taking)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

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SUMMARY ↳ Not everybody takes time to appreciate the holidays, it seems. Damian’s brow furrows as he inspects your arm. “You were…” “Awesome?” “Reckless.” pairing: jon kent x gn!reader x damian wayne warnings: nada wc: 3.2k

totally forgot to mention this last chapter, but this fic now has an official playlist!

It takes some convincing from Damian and Jon for them to let you go back to work. Jon says you shouldn’t be back so soon after getting shot. You tell him that your body is fine and ready to go, and also remind him that one of the first things you did when you were better was spar with the whole damn Batfamily. He looks properly sheepish after being chastised.

Damian says that you don’t need the job anymore, since you live with his family now. You tease him, asking if you technically classify as his sugar baby. He scoffs, turning away. It gets him off your case.

Sam damn near jumps over the counter to get to you when they see you walk in. “[Name]!”

At Sam’s shout, Carrie and Garrett pop their heads out from the back. Carrie’s face lights up, smile lines showing as she rushes over to join you and Sam’s hug. Garrett lets one of his rare smiles show, patting your head.

“You shouldn’t be back so soon,” frowns Carrie, pulling back.

You would lift up your shirt to show that you were fine, but she’s right, you shouldn’t be back so soon. A bullet wound on a normal person wouldn’t be completely healed just yet, but, you know, super healing. You’ve been left with a very faint scar. Jon spent his time tracing it, eyes hard and lidded. It gave you goosebumps when his fingers would pass over it.

You wave them off, laughing softly at their concern. "I'm fine, guys, really. It's good to be back."

Sam eyes you skeptically, arms crossed. "You better take it easy, though. We can handle things here."

Carrie nods in agreement, though she's smiling. "Just don't overdo it. We were worried sick about you."

Garrett gives you a nod of approval, his expression serious yet supportive. "Glad to see you're up and about, [Name]. Take care of yourself."

You promise them you will, appreciating their concern and warmth. Sam ushers you behind the counter, immediately putting you to (light) work, much to your amusement.

"So, spill," Sam insists, leaning in conspiratorially. "What happened?”

“What do you mean?” you ask as you organize some sugar packets.

“Dude, Robin and Superboy literally hauled your ass out of here.”

“They just took me to the hospital, Sam,” you sigh. “I got shot, it was pretty urgent.” Shoving a pastry in Sam's mouth, you push past them to ready the coffee makers. “In other news, I moved in with my future rich spouse.” It’s a way to distract them from questioning too much.

Predictably, Sam chokes on the bun. “What!? Hold on, back up a minute, when did you start dating somebody?”

“It was a joke, we’re just friends,” you chuckle. “He’s a huge worrywart and refused to let me go back to my apartment. Could barely walk out of the front door this morning. Said I didn’t even need this job anymore, basically said he’d take care of me.” He didn’t really, but whatever. “Isn’t he sweet?”

“So you’re telling me he basically said you can be the rich trophy partner? Why the hell are you here then?” Sam deadpans.

You match their expression. “Wow. Nice to know I was missed.”

Sam rolls their eyes. “You’re impossible. Who’s the guy anyway?”

“Damian Wayne.”

Sam blinks. Once. Twice. “Can you repeat that? I could’ve sworn you said Damian Wayne. Son of Bruce Wayne. Heir to Wayne Enterprises.”

You huff, placing a hand on your hip as their brain fumbles. “Dude, you bagged the big one. Holy shit, I didn’t know you could pull like that.”

“I told you, we’re just friends.”

“I thought he was, like, stuck up, or something. Cold ice prince type.”

You feel the need to defend Damian’s honor, even if Sam has no true ire towards him. “He’s nice. A good friend. He’s just… awkward.”

Sam takes time to look at you, a brow raised. You hope they're not doing that thing when they just look at you and know all of your secrets. Eventually they hum, dropping it.

“...You think you can ask his dad to pay my tuition–”

Tonight marks your first official patrol with the Batfamily. You're already suited up, crouched on the ledge of a rooftop with Damian. His cape billows in the wind. The city below is alive with lights and sounds, a symphony of Gotham’s nighttime pulse. You adjust your stance, feeling the adrenaline start to course through your veins. Damian is focused, his eyes scanning the streets for any sign of trouble.

"Keep your eyes sharp," Damian says, his voice a low murmur. "Gotham's quiet tonight, but that can change in an instant."

You nod, your own senses heightened, every sound amplified in the quiet of the rooftop. The tension in the air is palpable, a reminder of the city's ever-present dangers.

Damian glances at you, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "You ready for this?"

“Been ready, are you?” you challenge with a smile.

Suddenly, a voice speaks into your ear. It's Barbara. "We've got a situation near downtown. Reports of a robbery in progress."

Damian tenses, his eyes narrowing. "Let's move."

You both leap from the rooftop, descending into the city's shadows. The thrill of the chase ignites your senses as you navigate the rooftops with practiced ease. Damian is a blur of motion beside you, his movements precise and controlled.

Your arm muscles tense and release with every web swing. You take time to twirl and flip around Damian in an elegant dance as he swings with his grappling hook. The two of you move around each other in synchronized harmony.

As you near the location of the robbery, you spot the scene from above. A group of masked men are trying to break into a high-end jewelry store. The glass is shattered, and the alarm is blaring. Damian signals for you to flank them from opposite sides.

You land silently behind a dumpster, observing the thieves as they hurriedly shove jewelry into bags. Damian moves in from the other side, his presence a shadow in the night. You wait for his signal, your muscles coiled like springs.

With a sharp nod from Damian, you spring into action. You leap out, webbing one of the thugs to the ground before he even realizes what’s happening. Damian disarms another with a swift kick, his movements fluid and efficient.

The remaining thieves scramble, but they're no match for the two of you. You dart between them, your webbing and acrobatics keeping them off balance. Damian is a blur of motion, his strikes precise and powerful. Within moments, the robbers are subdued, webbed up and disarmed.

Damian steps back, catching his breath. "Nice work," he says, his tone grudgingly approving.

"Were you practicing those moves to impress me?” you ask cheekily.

“Why, were you watching me?”

“I just can’t take my eyes off of you,” you sigh dramatically.”

“Stop flirting, losers,” Stephanie teases on the comms.

Just as you're about to talk back, a low rumble echoes through the alley. The ground shakes slightly, and you exchange a wary glance with Damian. A nearby manhole cover bursts open, and a hulking figure emerges from the sewers. It's Killer Croc, his massive form towering over you both. What the hell.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Croc growls, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent.

You throw up your hands. “Come on man, I wanted an easy night.”

Croc advances with heavy footsteps, his massive claws glinting in the dim light. Guess he’s not in the mood for chit-chat. Croc chuckles, the sound sending a chill down your spine. "Think you can stop me, little bats?" His voice reverberates through the space, filling the space with menace.

“I am not a bat,” you mutter. “Only in spirit I guess." Killer Croc has a similar demeanor to that of Rhino, at least in terms of size. You’ve dealt with more than enough of them to be well equipped to deal with this situation.

You exchange a quick nod with Damian, silently communicating your plan. "Let's do this," he says, his voice low but determined.

Without hesitation, you both spring into action. Damian charges forward, engaging Croc head-on with a series of lightning-fast strikes and evasive maneuvers. Meanwhile, you use your agility and webs to dart around Croc, aiming to distract and disorient him.

Croc swings a massive fist, aiming for Damian, who narrowly dodges and counters with a precise kick to the knee. You take advantage of the opening, firing webbing at Croc's arms, aiming to restrict his movements. The webs hold momentarily before Croc tears through them with brute force. Boo.

"Keep him distracted!" Damian calls out, his voice cutting through the chaos.

You nod, focusing on keeping Croc off balance while Damian assesses the situation. With each move, you gauge Croc's reactions, looking for vulnerabilities to exploit. His strength is immense, and you start to hope this won’t take long. You’d like to get a decent rest tonight.

Damian maneuvers around Croc, striking with calculated precision. His training and experience shine through as he lands blows with pinpoint accuracy, each one aimed at weakening Croc's defenses. You watch in awe, both of Damian's skill and the sheer determination in his eyes.

As the fight wears on, Croc becomes more aggressive, his attacks growing wilder and more unpredictable. You dart in and out, using the environment to your advantage, hoping to find an opening. It's a dangerous dance, the alley echoing with the sounds of combat and the occasional growl from Croc.

Croc is getting overwhelmed, which means he’ll get desperate. His eyes keep darting to the window. He’s gonna try to escape, shit.

He shoves Damian to the side with his arm. For a split second, you want to make sure he’s alright, but you know he is. Trust that he is. You seize an opportunity to leap onto Croc's back as he charges out of the alley and onto the street. The sudden movement sends pedestrians scattering, and cars screech to a halt to avoid the monstrous figure rampaging through the city. You wrap his shoulders, providing you some extra distance from him as he tries to reach for you. He bucks and twists as he runs, trying to shake you off.

Croc flips up cars as he runs. Your claws dig into his shoulders as you steer him out of people's way the best you can, while simultaneously trying not to get thrown off. People scream and flee as cars swerve to avoid the chaos. With each passing moment, your muscles strain under the weight and movement of the monstrous villain.

“Should you be on vacation or something? It’s the holidays! Take a day off, Christ,” you grumble.

Croc chuckles dangerously. “Hang on tight, not-bat.”

It’s your only warning (aside from your senses screaming at you to get out of the way. Too bad you can’t) as Croc makes a superhuman leap, crashing straight through a window of Gotham Mall. Your suit protects you from the glass as it crashes down around you. Shoppers scream and scatter as the massive creature barrels through the aisles, sending displays and merchandise flying.

“Do you have any non-destructive hobbies?” you huff, dodging his grabby hands. Croc cuts a corner narrowly, slamming you slightly into a wall.

“Swimming. In the sewers.”

“Well, of course, where else?” Oh shit, there’s a baby in the way! You throw a web from each wrist, pulling yourself over to the stroller. You pick it up and narrowly move it out of Killer Croc’s way, putting it down next to the mother and quickly webbing yourself back onto Croc.

“Thank you!” the mother cries.

“You’re welcome!” is all you can say before your web pulls you back onto Croc. You curl your hand into a tight fist and hit him right in his head as you return. Croc staggers from the force of your punch, shaking his head as he attempts to regain his bearings. His momentum slows, giving you a moment to catch your breath.

“Spinnerette, report,” Bruce asserts in your ear.

“Uh, Killer Croc’s rampaging in Gotham Mall. Trying to minimize the damage,” you breathe, dodging another swipe from Croc. 

The noise of glass shattering and displays being knocked over is deafening. You hear Damian's voice cut through the chaos over the comms, “I’m en route. Hang tight.”

You cling tighter to Croc, using your agility to stay out of his reach as he wreaks havoc through the mall. “Yeah, hanging tight is kind of the plan,” you mutter, half to yourself.

You web his face, causing him to growl in frustration. Croc has a thick hide as protection, so your fangs won’t be able to pierce him. Your venom is useless here, which sucks because it would’ve been really nice to have in this situation.

Okay, you’re on the third floor of the mall, since the bastard jumped real high. How can you trap him? His advantage is his strength, so you need to restrain him so that he can’t use it. The whirring of a grappling hook catches your attention. Looking behind you, you see Damian swinging over to you, surprisingly gaining speed.

You spray a web towards him, catching him by the chest. Damian grips it as you pull him towards you. He lands with ease on top of Croc’s back. Croc's roar of frustration reverberates through the mall as Damian joins you.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you quip.

"Thought you could use a hand," Damian replies, his eyes never leaving Croc.

You grab his hands and wrap them around the makeshift web reins you had attached to Croc. “She–” you tap the ring you gifted him you know is under his glove, “–will tell you what to do. Don’t let him hurt anybody.”

Damian tries to catch your hand as you swing away, but you’re too quick for him. You gain speed, swinging ahead and away from Croc. “Tell me where a big glass window I can crash through is, K.”

“Take a left here.”

You swerve to the left. You can hear the commotion behind you as Croc thrashes and roars, but you focus on finding an exit point.

“Straight ahead.”

There. A large window overlooking the city. You see other buildings sparking with lights. Bracing yourself, you send yourself hurling into it. The glass shatters as you crash through it, arms out in front of you to protect yourself. Screams of people fade away behind you as you fall into the air. You’re lucky, there’s an intersection below you.

You swing onto a nearby lightpost. “I need the biggest and stickiest web you got, K.” You launch off and aim your hands in the middle of the intersection.

“Certainly, but it won’t be big enough for Killer Croc,” she says as a good and proper spider web slinks out and attaches to nearby light posts and buildings. The spiral pattern doesn’t extend to the radius of the web. “You’ll need to spin the rest of the web yourself.”

Bouncing off the center of the web, you start spinning the web across the intersection. The web begins to take shape, forming a large, intricate net that spans the entire intersection. Civilians look up in awe at your work. 

“Spinner!”

You look over as you hop across the web to see Nightwing grappling over. “Get the civvies out of here!”

He pauses, then nods. He swings down, quickly directing people away from the intersection to safety. He enforces power into his words, arms gesturing for them to go.

“Robin and Killer Croc are approaching.”

Using the web as momentum, you launch yourself and spray a web onto the ledge from which you jumped off. Climbing up, you stare down the large hallway of the mall. Croc is running straight towards you. He hasn’t thrown Damian off yet, so that’s good.

“Come on! I’m right here!”

“What are you doing–” hisses Damian in the comms.

Killer Croc growls, charging at you. His steps are thundering, echoing in the mall.

You brace yourself, waiting for the right moment. Croc lunges forward with a roar, his massive form barreling towards you. You time your move perfectly, leaping to the side just as Croc lunges out of the window space. You grip Damian’s cape, tugging him off of Croc as he begins to fall. The web bounces up and down as he lands in the center, trapped.

You pat Damian’s shoulder before jumping off the ledge after him. More webs spray from your wrist as you restrain Crocs arms to the web. You ignore his curses and yells as you struggles against your trap. It’s no use, the web holds firm.

“Holy cow,” whistles Dick, walking over. He reaches out to poke the web, but you snatch his hand away.

“Do that and we’d have to amputate you. It’s really sticky,” you frown solemnly. You’re joking of course.

Dick pulls his hand away, holding both of them up and a surrender gesture. “Okay, okay, I won't touch it,” Dick says with a grin, clearly amused. He looks around at the chaos in the mall, where people are cautiously peeking out from hiding places or rushing to leave.

“You know, you’ve certainly made a mess,” he comments, gesturing to the shattered glass and displaced merchandise around you.

“Actually, I think I’ve done worse.”

“Guess you’re fitting right in,” Dick remarks, his tone light but approving.

“Have I earned my rite of passage?” you smirk.

“Maybe if you can survive a month without causing a city-wide panic,” he teases, flashing you a grin.

Damian lands gracefully behind you, his cape billowing dramatically behind him. He surveys the scene with a critical eye, his expression serious and focused. You can tell he eyes Croc’s trapped form before he hurries over to you.

You hear the sirens of Gotham’s police force wail closer. “Always late to the party, it seems,” you hum, pursing your lips. You groan and flex your shoulder, still tingling from your little wall slam earlier.

“I’ll take it from here,” Dick reassures as the cop cars come to a stop near the scene. “You crazy kids go.”

Damian seems to have no qualms about that, since he grabs your hand and tugs you away. You let him drag you around, swinging with him as he grapples away. You swing through the night with Damian, adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

Coming to a stop on a rooftop, Damian’s hand runs down your arm, squeezing gently. “Are you hurt?” he asks gently.

“A little bruised, but I’ll be okay.” Your arm tingles under his touch. You chalk it off as pain.

Damian’s brow furrows as he inspects your arm. “You were…”

“Awesome?”

“Reckless.”

You catch his hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I knew what I was doing, birdie.” He sighs, a mixture of relief and frustration evident in his voice. “I know, I know,” you reply softly, bringing his hand to your lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “But I’m here, and I’m fine.”

He meets your gaze, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You handled yourself well back there.” The moment lingers between you, the adrenaline of the night’s events slowly fading into a quiet calm. Damian’s thumb strokes over your hand, a silent gesture of reassurance and gratitude.

Damian holds your hand tight as he guides you home.

The next day, Spinnerette is trending.

notes: short chapter because its really just a filler but next one is gonna pop off i PROMISe

also, i hope i captured killer croc correctly? have literally never watched or read anything with him in it so im SO sorry if he is nothing like how he is supposed to be

also i straight up yoinked this scene from Spider-Man: Miles Morales, just replaced rhino with croc.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Cop Dad Swap

I made my way to the kitchen, expecting some good alcohol since Brittney was rich. Holy shit! There was a huge variety of everything! Now THIS is what I expected at a college party! Who fucking cared if I wasn't even in college yet, or old enough to drink? This shit is crazy!

"What would you like my good sir?" asked some random guy at the table. I didn't think he was an actual bartender, since he was wearing normal clothes. Probably just some weirdo.

"Oh I dunn-" I didn't even finish my sentence when he put something into a shaker and poured it into a red plastic cup. He then handed it to me. Well, I guess if I'm at a college party, I gotta act like a college party guy. I chugged it all down in a second. Suddenly my throat burned like hell.

"Fuck man, one step at a time! Save the chugging for cheap beer. These drinks are classier." He poured me another. "This time baby steps my man."

I was kinda mad, but accepted the drink anyway. I walked back into the living room where people were on the dance floor. I saw my buddy Trent dancing with yet another random girl he just met. I swear that dude solely exists to break hearts.

"Hey! Garrett! Did you get the drinks?

"I got one. If you want one, go get it yourself."

"Ah fuck you! But seriously though aren't you scared your dad's gonna show up? I mean he IS a cop around here."

"Probably not. I'm sure there's lots of parties going on right now. What are the chances that he'd come to this one?” I noticed someone started talking to Brittney. It must've been bad because she widened her eyes and turned the music off. With the new silence in the room, we could hear the blaring police sirens outside.

"Shit who called the cops?" Someone said. The door opened and none other than my stupid dad appeared. His ugly bald head reflected the multicolored lights and he looked around at everyone, while I tried to hide myself behind the crowd. Beside him was the sheriff, Marty. My dad may have been good friends with Marty but he didn’t have to bring the fucking sheriff for something as simple as this.

"Allright allright, party's over. Nobody's getting arrested as long as you cooperate." Everyone started walking out the door and I was exposed. My dad widened his eyes when he noticed me.

"Garrett?! What the fuck are you doing? You know better than that!" He just HAD to start the lecture NOW out of all times, embarrassing me in front of everyone.

"What? I can't come to a party now?"

"Don't try excuses on me! I saw that cup in your hand. What? You expect me to believe that's water? Get in the car. Everybody else move it!” We both started walking outside while Marty stayed to lead the others.

Inside the police car, we were silent for a while until he blew up on me once again.

"I can't believe you were fucking underage drinking! Do you have any idea how irresponsible you are?! You're in your senior year of high school. Do you really think that’s going to be a good habit when you go to college?! You're grounded until graduation. I don't care how harsh that sounds. Graduation you hear?” I knew that nothing I said would change anything so I kept my mouth shut the rest of the car ride. 

Back at home, we said nothing to each other as I walked up to my room and slammed the door. About an hour went by and I heard a knock, followed by my dad coming in.

"Hey."

"Go away."

"I just wanted to say that I overreacted a bit back there. It made me so angry seeing the type of person you might’ve ended up as." He was fumbling with his wedding ring. I don't know why he keeps it on anyway. I never knew my mom, and it's clear my dad is divorced so why does he wear a damn wedding ring? He needs to find a girlfriend or something!

“You have no idea how stressful it is! Why can’t I go to some little party just to unwind?”

“I was young once too! I just don’t want you to go down a bad path. You have so much more to learn. This isn’t a good habit to form when you go to college.” It was then that I blew up on him.

“Hey at least I am going to college! Unlike a certain dumbass cop…” His eyes widened and I saw nothing but pure anger on his face,

"I was going to shorten your grounding sentence, but after that attitude not anymore!" He then slammed the door once again.

Trent texted me a bit later, asking if I was going to be able to go to Brittney’s homecoming party. Shit! I forgot about that! There was no way I was going to miss it so we devised a plan for me to sneak out.

The night arrived and I had my plan all set. Trent was going to call the cops on some other party to lure my dad away. When he leaves, Trent will come and pick me up and it's party time! I was in my room pretending to be bored, when right on schedule, my dad came in.

"I got another dumbass party to shut down so stay here, and don't even think about leaving this room. You're still grounded." He had a serious look in his eye.

"Sure sure. I'll be good," I said sarcastically. I looked out the window and as soon as his car was out of sight, I texted Trent. Within minutes he arrived. I quickly got dressed and he picked me up.

"Dude, you're either the bravest guy ever, or the stupidest."

"Hey, I won't stay too long. Just enough to see what it's like really. And then I'll be back in my room before he comes home."

The house was easily twice as packed as the last party, it was incredible. Brittney came down the stairs and approached me with a confused look on her face.

"Hey, wait I thought you were grounded or something. Aren't you afraid your dad is gonna come back? He better not."

"Nah, relax. He's doing some other stupid police work. I won't stay too long anyway."

"Allright, if you say so."

I went to the kitchen, like last time, to find an even bigger variety of drinks! Nobody else was in there so I thought I'd experiment myself this time. I picked up the shaker and started pouring drinks, even though I didn't know what the hell they were. But I didn't care! I'm just glad I was able to sneak away from my dad. I tried the drink and…well it was actually awful. Oh well. I headed to the dance floor and started showing off my moves. I could hear everyone cheering me on until I felt a bit faint. The last thing I remembered was falling over and a couple people looking at me concerned.

When I opened my eyes, I was outside in the dark. What happened? Was I that drunk and they kicked me out? I felt pretty normal though. I walked back up to the door. When I closed it, a draft flew in, which was especially cold on my head for some reason. I let out a deep breath and when I turned around, everyone was staring at me. But it wasn't the type of confused stare I expected; it was a terrified stare. The music stopped and it felt like they were staring into my soul.

"Uh, I'm ok now.” My voice sounded really weird. There was an awkward silence until someone shouted in the back.

"Well party's over…AGAIN!" As everyone started walking out, I noticed Brittney was yelling at someone on the floor.

"Nah, fuck you Garrett. You're not allowed here again. Get up!" Weird coincidence that there was a guy with the same name as me on the dance floor too. As the crowd cleared, I felt a chill down my back as I found “Garrett” looked exactly like me! He seemed to be unconscious. When I approached him and Brittney, she looked up at me…which was weird because we were the same height. Did she get shorter or something?

"Oh uh, he didn't get beat up or anything bad. Just had a few drinks I guess." She spoke so compliantly, unlike the normal way she gives me attitude with every sentence. I noticed the guy on the floor was wearing my clothes too. He didn't just look like me, he WAS me! Was he a clone or something? What's going on? A breeze came through the still-opened door and hit my head again. Why is it so cold up there? I touched the back of my head, and felt a smooth spot. What the fuck? I searched around for my hair…for ANY hair! But all I could find was a smooth bald head. It couldn't be…I looked down at myself and found I was wearing a police officer's uniform, complete with the badge and full utility belt. Brittney stared at me, concerned.

"Is uh everything all right, officer?" No no! Don't call me that!

"I uh, can I use your bathroom?"

"Uh yeah, it's up the stairs and to the left."

As I made my way up and through the hallway, I stared down at my hands, noticing eerily similar things - a wedding ring and a watch that looked exactly like the one my dad wore. I opened the bathroom door and quickly locked it. I gazed into the mirror to find my fears had come true. I turned into my dad!

I grabbed my cheeks and tried pinching them, to make sure it wasn't all a prank and I was just wearing a mask, but nope. I could feel it all. It was real. Fuck! I saw how smooth and shiny my head was; I knew he shaved his head every morning, but I didn't realize how smooth doing that actually made it. It's like a fuckin bowling ball. I hate this! I had long hair before and now it's just all gone! It was freezing up there! I hated cops, so it was really uncomfortable wearing an officer's uniform too.

"Hey are you ok in there?" It was Brittney. I faked a flush and washed my hands.

"Is Garrett still asleep?" It felt weird referring to myself in the 3rd person.

"Yeah he won't wake up."

"I'll just carry him to the car."

Brittany walked to the kitchen, probably to clean up the alcohol before I saw the amount of it. When I got to the living room, I found Marty standing there. He looked up when he approached me and pointed at me. 

“Hey you! What do you think you’re doing?” Shit. Does he know?! 

“I’m sorry I-” He turned his fake frown into a smile.

“Don’t be. Sometimes we just can’t let anything else come before our duty. Even me.” He leaned over to kiss me. What?! What’s going on? “I guess we’ll have to reschedule that date to some other time.”

A date? Does this mean the whole time, my dad was gay? And for Marty? Was the whole wedding ring thing a facade? Marty actually had one too so maybe they both did it to prevent a scandal within the police department or something? I snapped back to reality when I noticed Marty was still waiting for an answer.

“Uh yeah, sure. Of course!”

“Good! Let me know!” He rubbed my bald head. It was then that I started getting hard …my dad's cock was getting hard. Marty wasn’t my type though! But suddenly the thought of him was making me feel good. Is this because I'm in my dad's body or because he's flirting with me? 

I picked up..myself..off the dance floor and put him over my shoulder. I walked over to my dad's police car, and reached into my pocket for the keys to open it. I placed…myself inside, buckled him in, took my phone out of his pocket, and sat down in the driver's seat. I always hated my dad and hated cops in general but it felt pretty awesome actually sitting in the driver's seat of a police car. Like one of those movies where they have to steal one to save the world or something. The flashing lights were still on, but luckily I knew how to turn them off. I pressed the button and began driving home.

When I got home, I picked up my body once again, and carried him. It didn't really occur to me earlier, but if I'm in my dad's body, does this mean he's in my body? Fuck, I can't stand the thought of my dad going around embarrassing me in front of everyone! But he still hadn't woken up yet. What if whatever magical spell made us swap was keeping him asleep? But if he does wake up I need somewhere to put him at least. I walked upstairs and towards his room, and placed him on his own bed. I guess that'll do. I went over to my own room and plopped onto my bed, the pillow feeling extra comfy touching my bare head. I rubbed it again, actually kinda enjoying how it felt. Even though the body belongs to my dad, I'm still borrowing it right now. So I guess I have the freedom to touch myself anywhere. Not that I would want to go…down there. That's my dad's cock, gross! But I'm gonna need to jerk off eventually; I'm already feeling kinda horny now…but why? The thought of Marty crossed my mind and I suddenly was imagining him naked. Shit, not this again. He kinda was cute though, in like a lame cop kinda way. Man, I honestly wanna fuck him now.

At this point my cock was getting so stiff that I could barely take it. I started stripping, taking the heavy utility belt off first. Each garment came off until I was just in my dad's boxers.

I can't believe I was about to do this. I felt around my new dad bod, then peeled the underwear down to see my dad's cock. It was actually pretty big, maybe like 10 inches or so! So nasty…but I had to focus on the thought of Marty to stay hard. I took the underwear off so I was fully nude, laid down on my bed and started jerking it. I imagined Marty cornering me against the wall, kissing me until he grabbed my cock. He then got down on his knees and started sucking it until…I was pulled out of my fantasy and came. The white load shot all over my bed, much further than I could ever do in my body! After the climax wore off, I realized how gross it was that my dad's cum was all over my bed. But it felt so good! Actually, I have no clue how long I'm gonna be like this, or how long my dad is going to stay asleep so I could definitely take over his life for a bit. I'm not grounded anymore! Even better, I guess I'm a cop now so I have power and authority! I took my dad's phone - I mean MY phone - and called up Marty.

"Hey Marty, I have an idea…”

[panlight]

hi! i’ve been really enjoying hearing your thoughts on the whole “olympic coven” thing (tbh it wasn’t something i had really thought about a lot before — i always just thought of them as “the cullens” lmao so i’m learning lots of new things)

but omg let me just say re: your possible alternative names post — “st. carlisle and his disciples” is canon!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!

i feel like to a lot of the other vamps the cullens do seem kinda cult-y, and even to the ones who know/like carlisle, it does kinda feel like there’s a little bit of an eyeroll and a “yeah my weird friend carlisle who likes helping humans — strange but charming i suppose”

i guess maybe it wouldn’t be like an “official name” but i absolutely 10000000% can see other vamps calling them that casually, or maybe it’s one of those things that was a joke one time and then it stuck

anyway, i just wanted to say that reading “st. carlisle and his disciples” sent me into absolute hysterics and then i was like “oh shit that’s so good tho like that’s literally them”

i hope you have a lovely day!! 🥰🥰

I'm sure I'm not the first person who has used some variant of that, but I find it so funny too and it seems like human nature--or, well, vampire nature--that Carlisle's whole deal would rub some vampires the wrong way, or they'd be inclined to tease him.

I sort of imagine it really started in Volterra, with its proximity to Rome/the Vatican and the seat of the Catholic power. Carlisle's not Catholic, but I'm sure to ancient vampires who pre-date Christianity, that distinction is hardly important. "The Vatican's that way, Your Holiness," etc.

I also suspect that early on Carlisle was probably a bit more "preachy" in the sense that he was 'young' and native and idealistic and the first few times he met another vampire he had probably assumed they'd be THRILLED to learn the Good News that animal blood was enough and they didn't have to kill people. And he'd give them this pitch that probably sounded like the vampire equivalent of someone knocking on your door and trying to convert you to their religion.

There's also this thing people do where they get kind of . . . defensive, in a weird way, when they meet someone who opts out of doing something that 'everyone' else does. For example, I don't drink alcohol. Not for religious or moral reasons, but more about family history, mental health and a genuine lack of interest. But some people get SO WEIRD when this comes up, like they think I am judging them for drinking or think I think I'm better than them for not drinking. And I imagine Carlisle gets this from other vampires, too that even if he's not proselytizing, other vampires still get this defensive reaction and respond with "okay St. Carlisle we get it, you're pure and holy and we're soulless demons."

But yeah, pre-BD I wouldn't have guessed he has as many friends as he does; I had kind of gotten the impression that only the Denali coven and Aro liked him and everyone else found him kind of annoying, the Ned Flanders of vampires. BD paints a different picture of vampires who like him, would risk dying for him, but I imagine there's still an element of teasing there, especially with the likes of Siobhan and Garrett. Maybe less the off-putting religious zealot who tries to convert you and more like the weird hippie vegan friend who lives on a commune. Nice guy, means well, but super weird.

[xoxo-sarah]

I Wanna Be Yours || Part 8

Part 7 | part 9

↝a/n: I am sincerely apologetic for not updating this series in so long. I hope you still like it!

↝pairing: Robin Buckley x fem!Wheeler!reader

↝Warning: slightly proofread, cannon events

↝⎙ 2.16.24

Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Buckley, or any character from Stranger Things. I only own y/n (reader's character) and any characters I create with my own brain. If you have a problem with my work, send me a private message. Thank you.

“Oh shit.” Nancy parked the car.

So many people stood around, gawking, standing on their tiptoes to look over other people's heads and shoulders. All to see what was going on. Whatever was happening, the news trucks and cameras didn't help with privacy. They were broadcasting everything to the whole town.

“C'mon, this way.” Nancy walked behind the white and orange van, watching as the new sheriff, Powell, talked into the cameras that were right in his face, “reporting a homicide here on the lake. Officer Callahan here and myself arrived first on the scene. We made our way to the shore of Lover's Lake, about ten yards from the house you see behind me. Uh, it was there that we found the victim, an 18-year-old senior from Hawkins High, Patrick McKinney.”

You scoffed as Powell went on to show a picture of Eddie, the 'person of interest'.

“Oh, man.” Steve sighed, “This is not good. Really not good.”

Powell walked away, the crowd following with even more questions.

“Dustin? Can you hear me?” Eddie's voice crackled from the radio. “Wheeler?”

Dustin yanked the radio from his backpack, turning around for some privacy.

“Eddie. Holy shit. Are you okay?”

“Nah, man.” You could hear his voice muffled, probably from running his hand down his face or something. “Pretty-pretty goddamn far from okay.”

“Where is he?” Robin spoke up.

“Where are you?” Dustin echoed.

“Skull Rock. Do you know it?”

“Uh, yeah.” Dustin answered, unsure.

“New Corn Wallis and-” You began, furrowing your eyebrows. You hadn't been there in forever.

“Garrett, yeah. I know where that is.” Steve finished for you, making his way back to the car.

“Hold tight. We're coming.”

You hadn't gotten off the radio since you got in the car. You had all but yanked it from Dustin's grip and began talking about any and everything with Eddie. Maybe you were trying to lighten the mood, Robin didn't really know. Your mood had taken a total change.

You were cracking jokes and replaying memories to the guy on the other side of the radio.

You eventually stopped, still smiling at the one memory of Eddie nearly falling on his face your first day of high school. He had been trying to impress his friend but miscalculated his steps and fell right as you had walked by. It was a funny first encounter.

It was quiet for a moment.

“I'm going to go to prison, aren't I?” Your smile fell. How were you to tell him that you didn't know? Sure, you were going to do all that you could not to let that happen. But you can only do so much.

“No. No, I don't think so.”

“Y/n,” Eddie's voice trailed off, not entirely believing you.

“No, you're not going to prison because you haven't done anything wrong. Everyone else thinks you did because they don't know any better. They don't know what's actually going on. Can't really blame them, right? It's easier to blame a kid than something nonhuman.”

Eddie waited a moment to reply, digging his palm into his eye socket. “I guess you're right.”

“Of course I'm right.”

Steve and Dustin continued to bicker from their pace in front of you.

Robin walked beside you, Nancy on her other side.

Glancing back at Max and Lucas, Robin scoffed. “Oh, my god. They're so adorable. I just wanna squeeze 'em, you know?”

You nodded, glancing back, yourself.

Nancy stayed looking forward, brown paper bag in hand.

“If I'm permitted to see a silver lining in the end-of-the-world doom and gloom, it would be the rekindling of some old flames that, frankly, never should've been snuffed out.”

At the glare Nancy sent, you couldn't help chuckling, just listening as the two went back and forth.

“I didn't mean that as a hint or anything.”

“Right.” Nancy rolled her eyes.

“But,” Robin continued, “If I did mean it as a hint, would that be so terrible? To wish for happiness for my friends?”

This time, Nancy stopped in her tracks, scoffing as she turned to Robin. “You think I'm not happy?”

Robin fumbled over her words, “I-I'm sure you are. It's just, the other day in the library, I mentioned Jonathan and you sort of flinched or winced or something like-”

“I didn't flinch or wince.”

“Okay.”

“Jonathan and I are fine.”

“Got it.”

“We're good.”

“Right.”

“Guys.” They looked at you for the first time since they began talking. You pointed at Steve and Dustin, who were only getting further ahead. Nancy turned and began walking.

“It's just…” Nancy trailed off, going back to the Jonathan topic. “He was supposed to be there for the break, and then he backed out last minute for some vague, mumbly Jonathan reason. And, to be honest, I'm not that surprised because I've been feeling him pulling away lately. I don't know if it's because we're 2,000 miles away or if he's met someone new or what. Now I can't find out why because apparently, he's blown up his family's house phone or something.” She took a much-needed breath, before continuing. “So, yeah. If the mention of his name caused a slight muscle spasm on my face, that's probably why.”

“Seems like a perfectly reasonable reason to flinch, wince, or something.” Robin offered a small smile.

Nancy smiled back. “You said ‘the happiness of your friends’, so, does that make us friends? As in, officially?"

“Uh, yeah. I mean, right? Everyone here is my friend. Right, Y/n?”

“I guess.” Your nose playfully crinkled. Robin had always found that adorable. Especially when you were picking at her.

“Right.” Nancy looked between the two of you.

"Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. “In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face.” Steve bragged, taking in the beauty of the rock he was all too familiar with.

“Doesn't make sense.” Dustin mumbled, looking around, and at his compass.

“Yeah, yeah. Even with it staring you in the face, you can't admit it. Just can't admit you're wrong, you little butthead.”

You walked around the bushes, further ahead of the other 4. You saw Dustin and Steve just as Eddie jumped down. “I concur. You, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.”

“Jesus. We thought you were a goner.” You couldn't help but smile as you watched Dustin hug Eddie, who probably smelt rank.

“Yeah, me too, man. Me too.”

You were right about Eddie smelling. He held you under his arm, all his appreciation for you being expressed in the bear hug. You just wished your nose didn't work at that moment.

“When I got back to shore, I tried calling you guys, but, uh,” Eddie took a swig out of the canteen with his other hand. “My walkie was busted, man. Drenched. So, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran.” He chuckled, no humor behind it at all.

“Do you know what time it was? The attack?” Nancy questioned.

“Yeah, no- I know exactly what time it was. My walkie wasn't the only thing that got soaked.” He threw his watch in her direction.

“9:27.”

“Same time our flashlights went kablooey.”

You looked at Robin confused. She mouthed 'I'll tell you later', you had yet to be let in on all that had happened when you were at the funeral. You just felt like they weren't letting you in on everything on purpose, not because they just forget.

“Which means what, exactly?” Steve asked.”

Apparently, you weren't the only one who was confused about all of this.

“That surge of energy was Vanca attacking Patrick.” Nancy threw the watch back.

“Well,” Robin tried, “We're one step closer. We know how Vecna attacks.”

“And where he attacks from.” Lucas adds.

“So, now we just need to sneak into his lair in the Upside Down and drive a stake through his heart.” Max states.

Robin scoffed, “If he even has a heart.” She glanced at you, thinking of how you and Max are currently on edge, scared if you'll even get the next second to live. The rest of the group were worried about Max, with her coming out and telling everyone everything that had happened. She saw you, saw how you didn't want to worry anyone. That's how you have always been.

“A stake? Is he a vam- is he a vampire?!” Steve looked around.

“It was a metaphor.”

“A bullet should work on him, right?” Eddie offered.

Lucas shrugged, “I say we chop his head off.”

“Colorful ideas.” You gawked at them. These are children ready to murder whatever is making your lives a living hell.

Nancy nodded at you, “I'd say all of the above, but we can't do any of that 'til we find a way into the Upside Down.”

“We need El to get her powers back.”

“Everything was way easier.” Steve turned to Eddie, “We had this girl. She had super-.”

“Superpowers. Yeah, you've mentioned her.”

You lost it, “Let's stop talking about El, alright? She's over 2,000 miles away with Mike and Will. They're having fun, and they can't help us here. So, just stop talking about her and her powers that made things so much easier.”

Everyone shut up, letting you breathe.

Eddie spoke up after a moment, “Hey, uh, Henderson's not cursed, is he?”

Dustin, who hadn't said a word since you had made it to the rock, was pacing, but stopped short and stared into the woods.

“Cursed? No, no. He's fine. Mental? Absolutely.”

“Boom!” Dustin's outburst had everyone jump out of their skin. “Bada, bada, boom.”

Steve was utterly confused, a little concerned about his friend.

“I was right.”

Steve's eyebrows dropped, a sigh rolling out of his mouth as he rolled his eyes. “Skull Rock was north.”

“Seriously? You're serious?” Steve couldn't understand why this kid couldn't just be wrong.

“Mhm!”

“This is Skull Rock! Okay?!”

“Mhm.” Dustin was as calm as can be, while Steve was beginning to get agitated.

“You're totally, absolutely, 100% wrong. Right now.”

“Yes-”

“What?!"

“And no.”

“Oh, my god.” Steve put his hands over his face, dragging down.

“This compass worked correctly when we left the Wheeler's. It was correct when we got in the car on Kerley. But it started to slip the further east we went. Now, it's way off. When I was leading us here, I wasn't wrong. The compass was.”

Steve threw his hands up. “So, you're using faulty equipment. You're still wrong.”

“Except it isn't faulty. Lucas, do you remember what can affect a compass?”

“An electromagnetic field.”

“Yep.”

“I'm sorry. I must've skipped that class.” Robin shook her head.

“In the presence of a stronger electromagnetic field, the needle will deflect towards that power. So, either there's some super big magnet around here or-”

“There's a gate.”

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

• My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

🫧 Taglistׂׂ ૢ ~ @overtrred28 @ihatepeanutss @jovana1234578 @dobbycarl @kyleeservopoulos

[vampirekangaroo]

So five thousand years later, for those who follow me, here is my Daredevil duo op. Life happened and I haven't been able to be around outside of basically liking posts here and there until today.

I'm kind of posting these completely backwards. Like when I tell y'all my nerves were SUPER high knowing I was going to meet Charlie, it was ridiculous. Like even talked to this guy in line about it and he was like you'll be fine. He was right. I was fine. Mostly. I met Jon Bernthal a couple of years ago, a super nice guy as well if you haven't met him. And I told him, they are gonna stand on the opposite side of their characters, I can feel it in my soul. Which I think is hilarious cause Jon's hand is covering up Daredevil's head a bit, which is slightly amusing as well.

But anywho. This is the photo I sent my friends like I SURVIVED, SEE. Well, I sent a picture of me holding the photo all SEE. I might see if I can find that to post here too lol. But here is my more in depth story about this. I walked in and Jon put his hand on my arm and leaned down and said, "Hey it's so nice to meet you, thank you for coming." And then was like okay you get here between us. And I legit was like OMG I CANNOT in my head. 1) because hello clearly the Punisher haircut. and 2) my mind was very OMG IT'S CHARLIE still. I've only ever had that experience one other time and it was with Garrett Dillahunt and Jenna Elfman. I might just start having random posts about my con experiences and tell these lovely stories after this. But for now, I'm gonna try to concentrate on this one and tell you this story.

Now let me explain my con experiences. I normally NEVER get two pictures with the same person at the same con. I've done maybe 5 group ops total ever, and I told myself don't buy this, you have the solo. But then I told myself, maybe you need the buffer between actually meeting him and the solo op and autograph line. Which y'all, I did. I really did. I'm not sure I would have been able to talk to him at his table if not. But I'm now rambling and telling mini stories throughout the actual big story moment.

The picture was taken of course and I was like okay I need to exit. Well, that is when Charlie did the same thing as Jon and took a second to put his hand on my arm. He also leaned down to thank me for being there and said, "It's so nice to meet you." And it was in that moment we are all lucky my ass didn't pass out. Cause I was thinking, "Holy shit your face is so close to my face and your accent and your eyes and Jesus please let me remain upright and not faint." And then of course I tried to exit the wrong way and I was like, "Oh right. Of course." I've always prided myself on following the arrows and whatnot but yeah I was too flustered, which I said out loud. And the photographer said, "I get it" and I said "it's hard not to be flustered around them? I mean my god." They laughed and smiled because of it but I was like OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU ADMIT THAT OUT LOUD? as I went to get the picture. And to answer that it's cause it's me and I'm too honest for my own good lol.

Meeting them both reminded me of meeting Jeffery Dean Morgan in all honestly. He too took time in both the ops I've had with him (though the one is with him and Norman). It's really special though when the person you're getting an op with takes the time to say those things. Mainly because those photo op lines are crazy so the fact they each took a second to say thanks just meant a lot. It always does, because at the end of the day it really is about the little things.

[totallysora]

West Side Story (2021)

I HAVE SM TO SAY ABT THIS MOVIE IT’S UNREAL 😭 Ok so I finally decided to watch it for the first time in like,,early January and it has actually changed me 😭 IT WAS SO GOOD?? LIKE THE CASTING WAS JUST MWAH I LOVED IT SM 😕 Anyways here are some of the things (from what I can remember, I haven’t actually had time to rewatch it since 😔) that I loved about it!

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!

The jets were amazing, fight me

Ik that’s kinda controversial cuz they’re horrible people, and yes I absolutely get that, and do not support their actions at all (If ur a jets apologist pls leave 🥰) but GOD THE CASTING?? UGH IT WAS JUST SO PERFECT 😭 All of their songs were literally so good?? The Jet song is unfairly catchy, and Gee, Officer Krupke?? It was actually magical (THIS IS WHY WE CAST BWAY ACTORS IN MUSICAL MOVIES PEOPLE 😻‼️)

That scene with Anita?? It honestly made my blood boil, which is actually like,,the best thing ever?? Ik that sounds horrible but I mean it in a way that if a scene is meant to make you feel disgusted, or completely angry, and it succeeds?? That’s how u know it was good acting

On the topic of the Jets, MIKE FAIST?? UM HELLO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HE WAS PERFECT CASTING IT’S UNREAL

I struggle to differentiate between actors and characters, so the whole rumble scene was a lil bit of a mess for me at first cuz I adore Mike sm, however when I thought abt it more, and how Riff acted, I was able to think of him as Riff, not Mike, and realised holy shit yea he actually kinda deserved what happened to him yk

THE RUMBLE OML 😭 THE ACTING WAS JUST SO UGH I LOVED IT SM - Unliked in the 1961 version (which I haven’t actually watched but have seen clips of!) you could actually tell it was like,,serious yk?? And when Riff got stabbed?? Holy fuck the emotion in that scene was unreal

Also the way David and Ansel acted straight after it happened?? I kinda got a ‘I didn’t actually want to kill him’ kinda feel from Bernardo, and honestly I kinda felt for him man 😭

I love the way that this rlly showed why Tony was the leader of the Jets, the way he beats Bernardos ass?? You can see why he led such a strong gang

Completely unrelated but the fact that this whole thing was basically a newsies reunion 💀

like Mike, Kyle, Jess, BEN? GARRETT?? THE TWINS???

I will forever adore the casting tho like honestly it was so good

Also the Sharks were robbed of screen time Icl 😭 They deffo should’ve been on screen more man

RACHEL MF ZEGLER 😻‼️ The fact that this was her debut will literally never not shock me

Like this girl was 17 and could sing like that?? No wonder ppl love her sm like damn 😭

People can actually fight me on this but Ansel was such good casting for Tony

I’ve seen people bash him for it but he was literally so good?? Like sorry but I refuse to accept anyone else (obviously excluding bway lmao)

On the topic of Tony the ending actually made me cry?? Like I was fine untik they picked him up and started carrying him after he got shot 😭

Icl halfway through the movie I googled if anyone died so I was prepared for it to happen but doesn’t mesn I didn’t still cry 😕

ARIANA DEBOSE 😻‼️ HER ANITA WAS SO PERFECT OML 😭 LITERALLY NO ONE CAN BEAT HER SHE WAS SO GOOD ITS UNREAL

ALSO DAVID‼️ I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE DONT FOCUS ON HIM ENOUGH LIKE CMON HE WAS SO GOOD??

RITA MONERO 🥰 She was in the og movie and I am so glad they got her back cuz she was a m a z i n g

Also the fact that she sung her song live?? Cmon man she’s so good

Ok so Josh Rivera 😻 Although I didn’t rlly like Chino at first he definitely grew on me the more I thought about it - Ik killing Tony could be considered extreme, but realistically?? I totally get where he came from, it was an incredibly difficult situation, and I can understand why he did what he did

THE CHOREOGRAPHY ‼️‼️ LITERALLY WHO CHOREOGRAPHED THIS MOVIE IT WAS SO GOOD?? THE WHOLE THING WAS FILLED WITH AMAZING CHOREOGRAPHY AND IT WAS JUST SO 😫 If I could marry that choreography I would

Ok but the singing in general?? Like Ik they wouldn’t cast bad singers but be fr literally all of the songs slap

Ik I’ve said it before but I will say it as many times as I need to THIS IS WHY WE CAST BWAY (OR THEATRE) ACTORS IN MUSICAL MOVIES 👏👏

The soundtrack is actually so good tho like I pretty much wouldn’t skip any of it

Ok completely random but I couldn’t understand half of the movie 💀 cuz they spoke spanish and although I had subtitles on it just gave me the spanish in spanish subtitles, so half of the time I was guessing or just hoping I’ll get what’s going on 😭

If u couldn’t tell I cannot speak spanish (and tbh I’m not doing that well in it at school so 😔)

There is so so so much more I can say about this movie, and once I’ve posted this I will definitely plan a part 2 specifically focusing on the songs, and a part 3 on characters (possibly in the opposite order tho) because this movie was a m a z i n g and I could actually talk about it for h o u r s

[theluckywizard]

In Search of a Wayward Bronto

Summary: Desperate to find his brother, Garrett Hawke heads to a blight-ruined stretch of Orlais to search for the Wardens with Varric and Alistair. Amid their misadventures and unending banter, Garrett grapples with past failures and his growing love for Inquisitor Rose Trevelyan.

WC: 6585

Rating: Teen

No CWs

Excerpt below the cut 👇

“I think there’s sand under my eyelids,” complains Varric. “Sand in my shoes. Sand in my hair. Sand in creases I didn’t know I had. And now my Maker-damned eyelids.”

“Hawke, where’s your spyglass?” asks Alistair.

“Check the outside pocket,” says Garrett, taking a swig from his water skin and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He squints through the darkness, scanning for the ritual tower that’s supposed to be right bloody here. They’d sent Liska and Feyrith on to the Inquisition camp ahead of them to reduce their party size on these vast stretches of sand and salt.

Instead, Alistair pulls out that well-worn copy of The Fires of Satinalia Garrett kept, his eyebrow arched high, wrestling with a tenacious grin and losing.

“The Fires of Satinalia?” chuckles Alistair. Garrett plucks it from him and thumbs randomly through the pages, laughing in preparation for the roasting. Alistair snatches it back, dancing out of reach. “Hey Varric— look what Hawke’s had all this time. Contraband.”

Varric saunters over, catching the book Alistair tosses. “Maker, Hawke, really? I thought you were a few pegs above the target audience for this shit.”

“You seem more like a Lurid Lust Charade man, to be honest,” says Alistair. “Or maybe The Pleasure Château.”

“Bit quick on the draw with those titles, aren’t you?” asks Garrett, flashing a grin. He leans into it, desperate for something to lighten his mood. “If you must know. It’s sentimental.” He braces for another savage tide of comments.

“Sentimental? Of velvety candlelit nights with your hand in your drawers?”

“How scurrilous of you, my sweet prince,” rejoins Garrett. “Try ‘velvety candlelit nights making my lover snort brandy through her nose’.”

“Really didn’t need to know that,” says Varric. 

“Pish posh. You’re just envious of my good fortune! How long’s it been for you? Four years? Five?” Varric waves him off.

“Keep your sodding smut,” says Alistair, chucking the book at Garrett’s chest. “Just hang a sock on the tent before you cozy up with it.”

“Spoken like a true connoisseur.”

Alistair huffs an indignant laugh and taps his temple. “I certainly have no need of such things.”

“You never had a stack of poorly drawn tits hidden under your mattress? I find that highly doubtful,” says Garrett.

“The way the sisters would scour the dormitory?” he chuckles. “No.”

“Probably behind a loose brick in the base of a statue of Andraste that they’d all know about,” theorizes Varric.

“Well— it was Hessarian,” admits Alistair, finally fishing out the spyglass. “Impressive guess though.”

Varric smirks. “Adolescents are nothing if not predictable.”

“The prevailing rationale was that Andraste’s holy bosoms would draw suspicion,” says Alistair. “They were— remarkably shapely.”

Read the rest here!

DAFF Tag List:

@warpedlegacy | @rakshadow | @rosella-writes | @effelants | @bluewren

@breninarthur | @ar-lath-ma-cully | @dreadfutures | @plisuu | @hekaerges

@ir0n-angel | @inquisimer | @crackinglamb | @agentkatie | @oxygenforthewicked

@about2dance | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @blarrghe | @delicatefade | @leggywillow

[pengweng-quack]

Being a Witch with Vampires

Carlisle Cullen x Witch!OC

Summary: Stella (A witch) and Carlisle (A vampire), and how they blossomed from roommates to friends(?) to partners

Chapter 6/7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This was inspired by this fanfic on tumblr by lis-likes-fics titled "In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised"

This is also on Ao3 under the same title and same username too if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448940)

Posting is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

This is officially the last chapter before the end, and holy shit thank you so much for the support that you've shown in this series, you guys are all wonderful!

As I have said, I do have another Carlisle series in the works, but I will most definitely post some other things before that so make sure to leave a follow if you're interested in some of my other works

Word Count: 2722 words

TW for this chapter: Death mentions

Timeline: Breaking Dawn

Masterlist

There were 18 vampires in the Cullen household, all either willing to fight or be witness against the Volturi, and a Jacob, and Sam (who Stella has convinced to be of witness for them as well)

“Carlisle might not ask you to fight, but I will. For the sake of my family.” Edward started, his desire to protect his family higher than ever “But also, for yours. And for the way you want to live.”

“The packs will fight. We've never been afraid of vampires.” Jacob immediately started

“I will fight alongside.” Sam announced as well “The Volturi have terrorized our home, and the home of our fellow witches. About time that we get them back and avenge our fallen soldiers.”

Soon, everyone was announcing them joining. Stella snuck out of the crowded room and into the privacy of hers and Carlisle’s room to accompany him, looking up at the portrait of Volturi that he had

“He’s a brave man.” Stella muttered, wrapping her arms around Carlisle who was in deep pondering

“Until when will we be forced to be against the Volturi?” Carlisle asked quietly as Stella sits next to him

“Until they decide that the Cullens are not of threat anymore.” Stella answered softly “You know they won’t stop until they get what they want.”

“They’ll start with you.” Carlisle whispered, facing Stella and resting his hand on her cheek “They consider you the weakest, yet they know that your death will do the most impact to us.”

“Then I will die protecting our family.” Stella answered at once, holding onto the hand that was on her cheek and leaning onto it

“And besides, you heard Sam. They’ve terrorized my fellow witches for thousands of years already. I will die protecting you and avenging them. I would have done my purpose as the blessed witch of today.” She continued

“I would not be able to live in a world without you.” Carlisle said quietly, the thought of losing his confident witch scared him

“Nor would I be able to live in a world where I didn’t die protecting you.” Stella responded

“I love you.” Carlisle muttered softly, pulling her face and leaving a peck on her forehead

“And I—” Stella started, pulling Carlisle for a kiss on the cheeks “—love you more.”

~~

Benjamin used his skill to start a bonfire, getting Stella to immediately position herself near it, still not being used to the cold. Benjamin and Tia sat down next to her, looking at Stella with a smile.

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Jacob said with a small smirk, nodding as he sits next to Stella “A little pre-battle bonfire. Telling war stories.”

“Or just standing there like frickin’ statues.” He added, looking at the group of vampires that were indeed standing like statues

“There’s a reason that they have marble-like skins.” Stella joked, giggling at her own comment. Garrett moved to where they were, joining them around the campfire

“Name any American battle. I was there.” Garrett mentioned casually, getting Stella to shake her head at him

Jacob mentioned the Little Bighorn, which Garrett mentioned his association to it. Kate moved to where Garrett was, sitting very close to him and mentioning another war, making a side comment about how he didn’t deal with that alone.

Everyone was sharing stories from their time in any battle back and forth. Vladimir and Stefan were soon to share about their time as the considered most powerful coven, before the Volturi overthrew them. Now Stella understood why they were so keen in helping them be witness, it was for their own benefit as well.

“How about you, witch?” Vladimir suddenly spoke up, looking directly at Stella “Any stories to share to us?”

“Oh no,” Stella said, shaking his head not at him “I have been with Carlisle since he left the Volturi, I have no such experience with anything related to battling or overthrowing a coven.”

“We used to be allies with the Romanian witches.” Stefan started, his gaze on Stella as well “Not until we accidentally feasted on their blood.”

“Thanks.” Stella said awkwardly, sending an awkward smile to the two of them “Very comforting for the two witches with you right now.”

“Do not fret. We do not have intentions on feasting on Carlisle’s mate.” Vladimir assured, smiling back at her “We just wish to hear stories as your time before you joined your Carlisle.”

“What do you want to know anyways?” Stella started, trying to remember every detail of her life as if it only happened yesterday

“Why did the witches never try to prove that they’re stronger than vampires?” Liam asked, getting Stella to ponder at his question

“We never liked violence.” She answered, deciding on what was the proper response to his question “We preferred living in peace and quiet. And if that includes letting vampires think that they’re stronger than us, then so be it.”

“Then why be here right now?” Garrett asked

“Because I have something to fight for.” Stella simply replied, looking for Carlisle in the darkness, only to see him already looking at her with a smile on his face

“We’ve always respected the witches that we were blessed to be allied with.” Stefan opened up “They were strong, too strong that we couldn’t keep up with their capabilities during battles.”

“Every one that we kill will be equal to them killing ten.” Vladimir continued “They were a beast, a powerful weapon to have during war.”

“But you killed them.” Sam snickered, sitting next to Jacob

“That has been our biggest mistake.” Vladimir accepted his comment “Our incapability to have self-control like Carlisle does led to our own demise.”

“But a witch’s blood has two outcomes, either it could drive the vampire mad. Or that we will calm them.” Sam continued “Does our blood drive you mad right now?”

“Carlisle has wished that we do our hardest to resist the temptation of having a taste of you right now, Stella more in particular.” Stefan assured them

“Drop that discussion, we can’t be starting a silent war between us right now.” Carlisle called them off, lightly tapping Benjamin’s leg to sit next to Stella. He and Tia moved, giving him the space to sit next to her.

“You good?” Stella whispered to Carlisle. He nodded at her question before leaving a peck on her forehead

“How did you and Carlisle even conclude that you’re mates?” Kate asked

“They just know.” Edward answered for them “It’s almost the same as how we feel that we’re mated to our mates.”

“I mean, I get that.” Kate told him “It’s just, obviously, a vampire meeting their mate is an understood experience by almost everyone here. I just don’t get how it works with a vampire and a witch.”

“Trust me, we didn’t understand it either at first.” Stella assured her with a chuckle “There’s a reason why we spent 280 years being together without accepting that we’re mates. It just didn’t make sense at that time.”

“A witch’s existence is a…complex discussion really.” She continued, getting everyone to listen intently to her

“We’re human, but we’re not at the same time. We’re this thin line between humanity and immortality. In a sense, it puts us in the same group as Renesmee, but not really at the same time. A witch can only be born during a hybrid eclipse, which explains why we’re so human at some part yet so immortal in others.”

“You’re very rare then.” Tia spoke softly in realization “The last hybrid eclipse happened in 2005.”

“Exactly.” Sam answered “We’ll be considered lucky if we have 2 hybrid eclipses happening in a decade. There were only 6 hybrid eclipse in the past century alone, that’s how rare we are.”

“How old are you then?” Garrett asked

“We were both born in 1668, making our family immediately paired us as mates early on.” Sam answered again “We weren’t keen on the idea, her more so, but we just followed. We didn’t know when another witch was gonna be born by then.”

“That’s before I met Carlisle.” Stella added, looking at the blonde vampire next to him before looking at the bonfire again

“Meeting him gave me this sense of hope for myself. The sheer fact that I could be with him without him ever losing control gave me hope that maybe I could leave with him if he ever asks me to ever join him. And he did, two decades after we met.” She continued, intertwining her hands with him

“The best decision I’ve ever made.” Carlisle said softly, leaving a soft kiss on Stella’s hand

~~

“Carlisle!” Stella yelled as Carlisle ran to save Alice and Jasper, her heart pounding heavily in anxiety, watching as he pushed upon the Volturi that were stopping him from saving their children

She watched as Aro and Carlisle had a face off, ending with Carlisle’s head on Aro’s arm, his body being burnt

“No!” Stella yelled, seeing her mate be burned while Aro taunted everyone with Carlisle’s beheaded body

Stella knew what was gonna happen, it was only a matter of time until it was her turn to join Carlisle in the afterlife under her own decisions. But she didn’t want Carlisle’s death to be in vain. She led them to rush the Volturi, wishing to avenge her mate who died in Aro’s hands. She was yelling as she ran to the Volturi, in pain and in anger, as the others with them rushed alongside her

The battle begun, flying bodies of both from the Volturi’s side and the Cullen’s were all over. Stella was using all spells that she knows to finish off the Volturi that were getting near her, her desire to avenge Carlisle stronger than ever.

And as the number of the Volturi was slowly decreasing, Aro walked to the battlefield, the same thirst to kill and avenge his mates high.

“ARO IS MINE!” Stella yelled, running to Aro, no sense of sympathy on her face

They met in the middle, where Stella used her magic to stop Aro from even moving. She wanted him to die, the cruelest way one could ever think of.

“This is for my fellow witches!” She yelled, tugging off his arm with one swoop

“This is for those you’ve terrorized!” Stella yelled again, finishing off his other arm

Stella felt the same stabbing pain as before, Jane was targeting her, but she ignored the excruciating pain flowing through her body, focused on one thing in mind. It didn’t take long until the pain disappeared, figuring out that either Bella has shielded her, or someone has targeted Jane.

She forcefully pushed Aro down to his knees and grabbed a handful of his hair, forcing him to look up at her.

“Did you find satisfaction in killing him, Aro?” Stella asked, a demented smirk on her face

For the first time in Aro’s long existence, he felt fear.

“It seems like Carlisle got you to be his mate.” Aro taunted despite nearing his death “No wonder you were so adamant in being the one to kill me.”

“This is for Carlisle.” Stella laughed in such a horrific tone that caught all of the Volturi’s attention

In Stella’s final attempt to avenge Carlisle, red flames flowed in her hand, it was a death sentence for her as the fire was burning her away. Stella dug her nails deep into Aro’s head, using all her strength to separate his head into two lengthwise pieces of it, the fire already causing some parts of him to burn. Multiple Volturi tried to save their master, all piling up on his and Stella’s burning body. She was trapped in the middle, joining them as they burn to ashes.

Stella could hear Emmett and Rosalie’s pained yell from outside the piled bodies above her. She could hear Alice’s gasp in shock and Edward and Bella’s rushing feet in an attempt to retrieve Stella’s body from the pile of burning vampires. She could hear the fight continuing, the Volturi witnesses wanting to avenge their masters.

But she closed her eyes in acceptance of her fate.

Had this been her end, she will be happy. For she will not have to suffer a lifetime without her Carlisle.

--

Alice showed what would be Aro’s fate had he continued the fight against the Cullens. Making him back down, to Caius’ dismay, but knowing that he will be back for Edward, Bella, Alice, and the other gifted vampires there one day.

Stella pulled Edward and Alice from the celebrating group, hugging them and kissing the temples of their head

“You both are so strong for having to see those visions.” She murmured to them

“You could see it too?” Edward asked

“Learned a bit of telepathy myself before being with Carlisle.” She winked to him “Just didn’t use it as much. I see how much of a stress that it with you, so I just choose when I use it.”

“So—

“I know a lot of things that you wouldn’t tell, Carlisle.” Stella answered to the shying Carlisle, playfully winking at him

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Edward murmured “It must have been tough to keep your composure, seeing Carlisle die like that.”

“You’ve been dealing with that for centuries; I want to carry the burden that you two do. Even if just for today.” Stella hushed, pulling the two for another hug

Carlisle watched the sight of the three of them hugging, a content smile on his face. He doesn’t personally know what vision Alice showed for Aro to back down like that, but he was glad that no fight broke out

It was finally over; their family is in peace again.

He gets to be in peace with his Stella.

~~

“No!” Stella said, waking up from seeing another version of what the fight could have been

“What’s wrong?” Carlisle asked, a book on his lap “Another nightmare?”

“You keep dying in every single one of it.” Stella frowned “I keep killing Aro but that doesn’t stop the fact that you’re dead in every single one of it too.”

“I’m sorry mi amor.” Carlisle frowned, putting the book on the nightstand and pulling her closer to his chest

“If it makes you feel any better, I can help you if you can’t sleep.” Carlisle offered, a plan bubbling behind his golden eyes

“How so?” Stella asked, a small smirk forming on her face

Carlisle didn’t answer, but his hand made its way down to the hem of the tank top that she was wearing. He was toying with it, teasing her as if he was gonna lift it up. It didn’t help that Carlisle stayed topless when he accompanies her to bed. “Just so I can cool you down quicker” he says

What a complete bullshit.

“Mr. Cullen, you surprise me.” Stella said, an amused smile on her face as she sits up properly to look at him

“I wasn’t doing anything.” Carlisle said, fake innocence in his tone

“Aww,” Stella fake pouted

She left the bed and started to undress herself down to her undergarments, an expensive set that Carlisle gifted to her. She knew Carlisle was watching her every move with intent eyes, she didn’t even need to look behind to know so.

“I am gonna be in the shower, in need to cool down a bit.” Stella announced, though her tone hinted that she wanted Carlisle to do something

“Why need the shower if you’ve got a perfect cooler in your bed right now?” Carlisle asked in a sly tone, making Stella look at him

“Oh?” Stella asked, turning around and looking at him, a smirk on her face. He opened his arm, waiting for Stella to come back in his embrace

Stella rushed back to the bed, pulling Carlisle in a deep kiss and resting her hand on the band of his pajama wear. Carlisle wasted no time wrapping his arm around her. He pulled her down the bed as he positions himself on top of her.

“I love you.” Carlisle murmured, indulging himself and leaving shallow bite marks on her shoulders

“I love you more.” Stella replied back, tracing her hand down the vampire’s cold but toned torso

@kisekihany

[jaxthejester]

i’d love some ianthony hurt/comfort fics where one of them gets hurt or injured by someone on set and the other gets all caring and protective!! bonus points for including the other smosh cast members too hehe thanks so much!!

im not a huge ianthony fan, but i tried! sorry its short 😭

Ianthony- A Big, Big Mess on Our Hands Tonight

-

"So, Eat It or Yeet It, Ianthony Edition, ey? Sounds great!" Anthony proclaimed.

"Yeah! I'm so ready to fuck ALL this shit up!" Ian chuckled. Garrett looked at the two men with a glint of nervousness in his eye.

"I, uh, hope you know not all of these dishes are going to be bad, right?" he asked. Both Ian and Anthony's faces fell.

"Well damn."

The cooking went off without a hitch, even with Ian and Anthony fucking around, still overjoyed to have the other back. Garrett took most of the actual cooking, while the other two did the prep.

Soon, it was time to shoot the episode. A chorus of "Eat It or Yeet It!" rang out.

"Hello and welcome to a very special Eat It or Yeet It-" Courtney began, pausing momentarily. "I say that every time, don't I?" they asked aloud.

"Anyway! I have reason to say it on this fine evening- it's the Ianthony episode!" Cheers came from the table as Ian and Anthony both smiled to the Garrett cam. "Here are the rules!" Courtney said for the edit.

"Garrett wouldn't let us torment you guys... that much." Ian commented. Spencer, on of the contestants, rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me threaten to kill myself again." Spencer sighed. Ian chuckled.

"No promises!"

The first few rounds went as well as any Eat It or Yeet It does- Damien got some weird pasta dish that everyone else refused to taste, Tommy got a plain ass tortilla, Angela got a vegemite donut, and Spencer got an overcooked pizza in a "My Favorite Pizza Place" box.

Issues arose when the big bite came out. Anthony had pitched a dish to be served on fire for the big bite, and Garrett helped him prepare a cherries jubilee flambé.

Anthony had worked a deal with Courtney prior, ensuring Anthony could light the dish himself.

"When this dish is presented, make sure nobody is near it! We wouldn't want an accident..." Garrett had warned. Anthony had mumbled an acknowledgement.

The five people sitting around the table made small talk as the last round was being prepped.

"I can't believe I got the big bite AGAIN." Shayne groaned, head resting on his forearm to ensure no cheating.

"My brother in christ, you didn't even try to hit the bell." Spencer retorted.

"I do think hitting the bell is a vital part of the game..." Tommy added.

"I know! I was the one who pitched this show, dammit!" Shayne snapped in false anger.

"Ohhh, I'm Shayne!! I pitched this show because I like the pain I go through!" Angela mocked.

"Holy shit, are there two Shaynes here?!" Damien joked.

"Okay losers, it's time! Open your eyes!" Courtney called out. Everyone did as they asked, but instead of Courtney, Anthony stood in the center, revealing the dish.

"Five...?" The count started. Anthony pulled out a pocket lighter to flambé the dish.

"Four..." With two clicks, the lighter lit, and Anthony put the flame to the dish.

"Three..." It caught instantly, blue flames climbing the dish.

"Two...!" The flames climbed higher than Anthony inticipated, though, and it made contact with his hand.

"FUCK-" Anthony yelled, quickly yanking his hand back.

"Oh my god, cut, someone get a medic!" the director called.

Anthony would blame the adrenaline, but events after that were a blur. The medic showed up and walked him through the proceedures. It was nothing more than a small first degree burn, but it still hurt like a bitch.

As the medic finished up bandaging Anthony's hand, Ian walked into the room. "Anthony, are... are you okay?" he asked.

Anthony looked to the medic. "Yeah, he'll be fine. Just be careful around the area." she smiled. "Take care now." And she left, leaving Anthony and Ian alone.

"That's... good." Ian said, running a hand through his hair.

"Yep. I've had worse, anyway. I was a teenager once, you know." Anthony joked. Ian didn't laugh, and shifted his weight.

"I was worried. About you."

Oh. Anthony felt a pang in his heart. He walked over to Ian, bringing the other into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm okay, I promise."

Ian smiled. "I'm glad."

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Holy shit!!! Release Volume 1 is live! This is a M/M monster fucking anthology following 3 pairs at the titular Release Hotel. Here's the summary for those interested!

Welcome to Release, the premiere hotel to have all of your fantasies satisfied! Our luxury skyscraper hotel boasts 52 floors and over 300 rooms, night club, lounges, dungeons, and more! Each experience helps to feed incubi and succubi throughout the city, allowing a happy ending for all involved! After an extensive background check and in-depth kink consultation survey, you will be able to book an experience, and will be paired with a member of staff or other participants of all genders, species, and ages (18+) depending on your stated preferences. Each experience ensures a safe environment to explore even the most elaborate of fantasies, so don't hesitate and apply now! Your Release awaits! Garrett wasn't even supposed to be here tonight! He'd only come as a space-filler due to a last minute cancellation. But now that he's caught the eye of a gorgeous naga, he's not complaining about the disruption to his evening anymore. He's far too curious to find out just how snake-like the demon's body really is... Wren has been stuck bag feeding for six months, and Release may be an unconventional hunting ground, but boasts they can find a match for all their customers' needs. So if they can find him a mortal willing to open a vein for him and dom him until his brain turns to putty, then it will be money and time well spent. He's just a little confused as to why the powers that be seem to have decided the infuriating co-worker he'd never thought he'd see here, is being offered up as his partner for the night... Jackson is less than thrilled with his experience so far. An aspect of socialization he wasn't expecting, has not found his partner yet, and when a staff looks at his reservation, an error in the system becomes apparent that might mean he doesn't even have one tonight. He's settling himself in for a disappointing night as he sips at his drink and the staff try to work things out. The night is definitely about to go far worse than that when he finds himself waking in a dingy room on a stained mattress, hands chained to the wall, tied up and ready to become a demon's new toy...

It is available for free on Kindle Unlimited and $2.99 without (I had to make it $2.99 to make it eligible for Unlimited 😔) it's 27k of smut with a bunch of staples from my usual work! Thank you so much for all of the encouragement over the past few months!

[skollwolf]

Okay this post has a target audience of me myself and I, I know, but a few days ago my 3 year old asked to see a movie I liked a lot as a kid, so I of course showed him the animated classic Quest For Camelot (1998) which I was absolutely fucking obsessed with at age 6

And on rewatch (and a second rewatch today because my kid has proclaimed it "one of my favorite movies!!"), holy shit is the way they play Garrett's character arc funny

Like, from minute one of his introduction, right. Kayley (the movie's deuteragonist) meets him, he saves her life, she asks to travel with him when she realizes his seeing-eye falcon knows the location of Excalibur so they can save Camelot together, and what does Garrett do but immediately launch into a musical number about how well he knows the Forbidden Forest they're in and how he's better off alone, as Kayley like...brute force stumbles her way through keeping up with him.

Which isn't, in and of itself, all that funny; the musical number is meant to establish that although he's blind, Garrett is in fact the more competent of the two by literal leaps and bounds while in the Forbidden Forest--and yes, it establishes that he's turned his involuntary isolation into a key part of his identity in a way that will become a late-movie problem. I get all that.

But the thing that makes this read as fucking hilarious is that literally the second he finishes singing a three minute musical number about how he's better off alone and Kayley can't come with him, Kayley immediately goes "okay but like...what if I come with you anyway 🥺" and Garrett responds with "oh fine whatever 😑" and lets her come along after all. No further argument, nothing happens to convince him, he just folds like a grumpy wet paper towel. Man literally no sooner finishes belting "all by myself I stand alone!" than he makes an exception.

And then after they meet Devon and Cornwall, he does it again! He's like "okay we made it out of dragon country, you two should fuck off now" and Kayley goes "but Garrett what if they came with us 🥺" and with no further convincing Garrett immediately goes "yeah okay they're coming with us I guess 😑"

Like is the practical reason for this that they didn't want to spend more of the movie's runtime and budget on scenes about Garrett being convinced to change his mind? Probably. But functionally speaking? It looks like the creators of Quest for Camelot really looked at their romantic deuteragonist and were like "you know what people want? A hot blind guy with the approximate attitude of a contrary cat" and they were so right

[riahlynn101]

What are your thoughts over the movie? I have some myself (and a mild mental breakdown over the Thing™), but overall, it was good. I want to talk about it with anyone, lol

Okay, so....

Spoilers below the cut:

Firstly, I loved it. You can tell how much effort they put into this movie, and it really shows. Kudos to everyone involved.

Things I liked:

Piper Rubio did amazing. No comment beyond that. Abby is one of my favorite characters now, and if anything happens to her, I'll cry.

Actually, all the kids did a wonderful job. Especially Grant Feely. He really embodied that creepy, restless spirit vibe.

Mike and Abby's sibling relationship was everything to me!

Vanessa asking Mike if he wants to dance with her (OMG).

The Springbonnie suit looked great!

Mike having a little bit of an attitude (I love him so much)!

The animatronics were cool. I like that they took the time to make them seem friendly, and almost childlike, before switching gears.

Things I didn't like:

I'm not an expert on filmmaking, so excuse me if I'm wrong here. But the pacing was all over the place. The first act of the movie was perfect, and then the second act was....fast. Like fast-fast. Based on what other people are saying, I'm 99.9% sure they cut out a lot of footage.

This one might come back to bite me in the ass later, but some plotlines felt unnecessary. I know this is FNAF and complicated is written somewhere between Freddy and Fazbear, but did we really need some side plot about an evil aunt? They didn't go anywhere with it, and we still don't know what happened to her. Did Golden Freddy K.O her? Kill her? Who knows? Because we certainly don't. We see her legs, and then she's never mentioned again.

I don't know if this is controversial, but I hate that Vanessa's an Afton. Maybe it's because I was so set on Mike being an Afton, but I really, really hate that they changed it. (I'll elaborate on that more down below).

I felt like they could have given us some more background. Some more flashbacks to the 80s. Anything.

I know I'm being overdramatic, but having the plot twist be Vanessa's an Afton kind of killed all my excitement. Which is stupid, I know, but yeah....

I mean, I'm still going to write fanfictions about the movie, and about all the ways that Mike Schmidt is actually Michael Afton.

--Sorry in advance, but I'm going to ramble--

I have a feeling that William knows Mike better than he's letting on. Of course, he did kidnap Garrett, who could have told William everything about Mike. He could have also watched the news and seen Mike with his parents, asking for Garrett to come home.

But that's not the vibe i was getting from William during the office scene. But I'll let you all decide for yourselves:

William Afton is a skilled manipulator and actor, but the expression he makes looking down at his coffee doesn't scream, "holy shit, the brother of my victim is sitting in my office." He has no reason to look concerned. Mike has no idea who he is, and he isn't even looking at William. So, why put on a show?

Also, the change in his attitude is telling. He went from cold and distant to personable in a heartbeat.

Of course, there's always the possibility that I'm totally wrong, and William is scared he's been found out. Which could be true, given that he doesn't hesitate to fuck Mike up the second he's able to.

--

In the same vein, why would William Afton-a guy known for killing/kidnapping kids around the pizzeria, or at least close to the pizzeria-drive to the middle of nowhere, pick a random kid, and kill him? I know he's crazy, but I don't buy it.

Some people are saying that Garrett is a Charlie parallel, and that Mike is Henry's son. Which could be the case, I mean, we see a mechanic in the training video that bears a striking resemblance to the actor that plays Mike's dad. I don't know if those two things are connected, but it's interesting to point out.

But, like I said, it's weird that William went out of his way to kidnap a kid for no reason. And he likely wasn't in a costume (at least I hope he wasn't, because if he was and no one saw who took Garrett, I think a kidnapped child is the least of their worries.) So, how did he convince Garrett, who was by himself for a grand total of five second, to get in the car? Maybe he offered him candy or toys? I dunno.

I might go into all the evidence/theories so far that Mike's an Afton in another post. And where they're going with Garrett's character. But yeah....

Everyone, please, feel free to share your thoughts on the movie. I would love to hear them :D!!

((Thank you for this question btw <3333))

[munsonownsmyass]

Hello! How was it? Meeting Charlie and Garrett? G seems a little down or tired. Give us a story, please 🙏

It was so great. I was really nervous, but they were total sweethearts.

It is true that Garrett seemed a bit more reserved. Don't know if I'd say he's down, but maybe not as outgoing as some celebs are. But I feel like he gave me a genuine smile when I said I was a big fan and that I loved his music (I was 5 seconds away from saying I love Benny Miller, but didn't want to be too weird 🤣).

Charlie on the other hand was one big smile. Even despite a long wait, a ton of people and the worst organization I've ever seen at a photo op, he was kind and sweet. Even gave me a big hug 😁

And I just gotta say. They look good in pictures and in movies, but holy fucking fuck, they are delicious in real life. And smell really good, for anyone wondering 😜👌🏻

And so tall. I mean, I'm a little shit, so doesn't take much, but oh my... I was in heaven 😆

So yeah. It was great meeting them. Sadly there's not much time to talk at a photo op, but it was great.

I ain't pretty, so I've hid myself. But I wanted to show off the guys 😁

Thank you for asking, nonnie ❤️

[skrimbloskromby]

//Fnaf movie spoilers I JUST GOT BACK FROM WATCHING THE FNAF MOVIE AND HOLY SHIT I AM FLABBERGHAUSTED IT WAS SO GOOD ACTUALLY!!?!?!?

I am literally going to explode it was soo good ALSO MATPAT LIKE SWORE HE WOULDN'T BE IN IT AND THEN HE WAS!?!? He was a waiter and was rambling about something then said "but that's just a theory" AND LEFT BAHAHAH And the scene with Cory in the taxi with Abby and Golden Freddy was actually so fucking funny omfg

Apparently as well, it's confirmed to be a whole other universe with the same premise but different names and relationships Like Vanessa is William Afton's daughter, Michael Afton is replaced with Mike Schmidt (which I found cool considering that's also a security guard in the lore), Elizabeth was replaced with Abby, and C.C/Crying Child/Evan/Chris (he has too many fucking names omg can we just confirm one??) was replaced with Garrett And instead Garrett was just up and kidnapped and driven away by William? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE ANIMATRONCIS LIKE OH MY GOD THEY LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING? I LOVED the concept of when they were being killed and put in animatronics the face plate had blades and saws and shit that would lower onto the victim's face while they were restrained like omfg And Carl the Cupcake absolutely DEMOLISHING some guys face

[theoddcatlady]

Blood On Set

Being an actor isn’t easy. I’d like to act full time but right now working the night shift at my local Wal-Mart is what pays… part of the bills. I got three roommates to afford my apartment, we all bond on the impossible dream of catching our big break in the MCU.

Frankly I was through the moon when I finally got called back to do some work as one of the main characters in an indie film. Up until then, all my ‘acting’ skill was as an extra or a dead body and I was dying to actually show what I could do, you know? I wasn’t gonna get paid well but this could’ve been a stepping stone to greater things.

Shooting was to take place over two weeks. I was to play Seth Taylor, childhood friend to the main character who always wanted something a little more but never had the nerve. Plotline was basic, college girl was being stalked by an unknown figure who may or may not be supernatural, turns out it’s a group of satanists who need to sacrifice her on the new moon to achieve their sinister goals.

The night before shooting began all of us actors had drinks together. It was great getting to know each other. The star of the show was Abby, and I don’t really believe in love at first sight… but I believe in instant chemistry. And I knew off the bat Abby and I were compatible. She had this spark, this love for life and for acting. She’d already gotten a few small roles, even a guest role on a TV show as the victim of the week. I never felt so immediately comfortable around someone else.

Got to meet a few other people too, Geoffrey, who was going to be Abby’s boyfriend/first victim of the movie. He had one of those big laughs that could get a bit grating after a while, but he was nice enough. Liberty, who was going to be Abby’s best gal friend, she had such a morbid sense of humor and had us laughing all night. Ricky, CJ, Garrett, all gonna be various cult members, and Colin, the cult leader. I wasn’t really sure about the casting of Colin, he seemed so quiet, but I realized quite quickly when he stood up why he was cast- dude was nearly seven feet tall. I’m fucking five foot four, I had to crane my neck up to see his face.

Our director/writer/producer was Duncan Turner. He seemed pretty nice, a bit nervous, but nice. Clearly had a boner for Abby, he couldn’t tell her no to anything. I tried to tell him I was a trans man, he seemed to be trying to avoid the subject, then Abby brings up the idea of working that into my character’s backstory and he immediately grabbed his copy of the script to start scribbling in new lines.

Yeah, it was clear this was his first movie, but frankly I didn’t care. This was the first time I had a role with more than two lines. I was pumped.

First two days of shooting went off perfectly. Despite my initial doubts about Colin, he came right into the role of the disturbing cult leader Damion. And although the script was a little cliché, a little ridiculous, it was still fun.

It was fun. Until things got… weird. And by weird I mean someone got killed.

It was day three. We mostly used Duncan’s old college as a set, and we were filming the scene where Abby’s character Nancy is being chased around a theater all set up for a college production of The Phantom of the Opera. What was meant to happen was I was supposed to trip CJ and we were supposed to run off while he was stunned.

What happened was, I tripped CJ, I heard the sound of something cracking, and I looked up just in time for a giant fucking spotlight to come crashing down. CJ opened his eyes just in time for it to squash his head like a grape. Blood and head gore exploded everywhere, covering me, Abby, and the set around us.

I threw up. Duncan screamed bloody murder. Abby just stared at CJ’s twitching body.

Yeah, holy shit. I’ve never seen a dead body outside of a funeral before and uh… yeah, had a lot to talk about with my therapist that week.

It was just an accident, of course. No one was up there. Something was a little loose, and CJ was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. That was our third take of that scene, I was declared not responsible for CJ’s death. And uh, we marched on with filming.

Yeah, it’s cold, and I probably should’ve jumped ship then. But we only had so much time we were allowed to film at the college and Duncan invested a lot of his own money into this movie. Not to mention if I did leave, I’d forfeit my paycheck. We managed to reshoot the scene with Garrett and at the parking lot instead. Granted, Garrett nearly got hit by a goddamn car because some dumb bitch was driving drunk instead of taking an Uber, but he dodged it last second.

I should’ve known the shoot was cursed though. Like nothing as bad as CJ happened until the last day, but things were always off. Garrett kept showing up drunk and ended up breaking his ankle. Thankfully he’d already shot all his scenes but Jesus Christ dude, it’s still work. Ricky just stopped showing up, fucked off to god knows where. Geoffrey cut his arm really bad during his murder scene and it got infected. One of our dude extras got a little creepy with Liberty and she ended up breaking his nose. I could go on. Not to mention I started having some really fucked up nightmares.

I’d always struggled with nightmares. My combo of meds make my dreams super fucking vivid, but this was different. I swore I was really there when I dreamed that Garrett’s feet were getting sawed off. Or when worms and maggots started crawling out of Geoffrey’s cut arm, silencing his screams when they all filled his mouth and choked him to death. Just. Really fucked up shit.

I spent a lot of time with Abby to distract me from all the weird shit going on. We’d have drinks at her place, we’d talk everything from our acting dreams to the name of our favorite Neopet when we were kids. God, I could’ve talked about anything with her. I felt so safe and comfortable around her.

Maybe I should’ve picked up quicker that nearly all our male extras bailed. Or just didn’t turn up. There was something very wrong with this shoot and it’s on me that I didn’t realize something was wrong.

Last day. Last shoot. Final scene. Seth was going to save Nancy from being sacrificed by Damion, and we’d kill him together. It was originally going to be shot in Duncan’s basement, but the morning of I got a text, saying Abby was going to pick me up and that things had changed.

She arrived about an hour from sundown, already in costume judging by the fake blood all over her t-shirt. I jumped in the car and asked what was up.

“Colin has a better basement, more space for camera junk and stuff. Duncan was totally cool with it and will meet us there. Apparently it’ll be a one take deal, so you think you can do it?”

I gave a double thumbs up. Abby smiled, my heart melted, and she offered me a bottle of water. So my throat wouldn’t be dry during shoots.

I didn’t realize I was drugged until I was almost asleep, and of course by then it was too late.

I woke up tied to a chair, some sort of cloth stuffed in my mouth to gag me. The room was completely dark and smelled like rotting meat. In front of me, I saw Duncan laying on the floor, his head was bleeding but I heard him groan. I wondered why the hell he wasn’t getting up but then I saw the pools of blood around his hands and feet.

He’d been nailed to the goddamn floor.

When Abby walked into sight it hit me like a sledgehammer that the blood on her shirt probably wasn’t fake.

She waved her hand and candles all around the room lit up. I would’ve screamed if I could’ve, but all I could do was stare in horror at the bodies nailed to all the walls. Garrett, Ricky, CJ’s headless body, all the other extras that stopped showing up, other guys I didn’t recognize. All of them were dead with their chests ripped open.

Abby came beside me and tested the ropes on my wrists to make sure they were secure. “You comfortable? They aren’t too tight or anything?” She asked.

I stared at her, I couldn’t believe this was happening. Abby nodded before removing the gag. “Right, sorry. Can’t talk while gagged.”

I swallowed all the spit in my mouth before I said, “Why are you doing this?”

“Because he needs it. Otherwise he’ll die. And I won’t let my boyfriend die. You’re just here so you have an alibi, so it’s not pinned on you. Cuz I really like you, Logan. And I’m sorry you have to witness this, but if it gets too much, just close your eyes. I had to at first too.”

I was going to ask why the hell her ‘boyfriend’ needed something when I realized something was hanging from the ceiling that was not another body.

It crawled down one of the walls, its unnaturally long limbs jointed in three different places. It had six arms and four legs, and was naked. Each of its pale fingers ended in an inch long claw. It was the most inhuman thing I have ever seen.

But its head was human, even if its neck was almost two feet long. Colin’s head. Colin’s head was on this thing’s body, and as it looked up at me I swear its eyes looked hungry. Abby patted its shoulder and shook her head. “Leave him alone, babe. He’s my friend,” She said.

Colin looked at her before bobbing its head up and down and it scrambled over to the awakening Duncan.

“Wha… what’s going on…” Duncan’s eyes fluttered open as Colin’s head hovered above his own. His face went white. “Oh- oh my god, what the f-”

One of Colin’s limbs shot forward and its claws unzipped Duncan’s chest like a winter jacket, his guts spilling out everywhere. Duncan’s scream will never leave me. Colin’s mouth opened, revealing a mouthful of janky sharp teeth before he bit into Duncan’s guts, I think I saw him pull out an intestine before I listened to Abby and closed my eyes.

Duncan didn’t scream for much longer, but the chewing and swallowing sounds were impossible to block out. When it was all quiet, I finally opened my eyes. Duncan’s torso was hollowed out, his eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling.

Colin looked normal again, just your average guy. Abby patted his back, kissed his gore covered cheek, and he walked upstairs. She looked at me and I had to ask one more thing:

“What the hell are you two?”

Abby laughed quietly.

“I’m a witch. And as for Colin… he’s… unknown.”

With that, she walked upstairs and out of my life.

The cops came soon enough, I guess Duncan’s screams carried enough, or maybe Abby called them. I was taken to the hospital and thankfully I was just considered a victim that these two crazy motherfuckers hadn’t gotten around to. There was twelve bodies in that basement.

Maybe Abby cursed the shoot herself, maybe it was just never meant to go right. Either way, Abby and Colin are gone, and I don’t think I’ll ever see them again. If I’m quiet for too long I swear I can hear that chewing echoing in my ears.

I did get paid though. Dunno by who considering how very not alive Duncan is, but I just got the money wired into my account today.

I guess Abby didn’t want my time wasted on what probably would’ve been an okay movie, had not most of the cast got murdered and eaten by her boyfriend.