#like hey maybe it was written that way cuz the writers are humans who have lived. who therefore view the world & this impacts their art.

[askstevendiamonduniverse]

Steven universe criticism is like "why didnt [something that is explained / expanded upon in Future] happen???" or "why did [something that makes total sense when you consider Rebecca is Jewish] happen??" or "how come they [the show was fighting censors and was cut short is the answer]"

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

[bigskydreaming]

“Fandom purity,” posts say mockingly on my dash for the umpteenth time, as if I haven’t spent years ranting about how actually, I have no problem with sex but just the specific choice to use sex as a weapon to violate the vulnerable, ie rape, incest and pedophilia, so always nice to know people are listening.

Look you can disagree with me on any subject ever, but that isn’t disagreement, that’s outright lying and gaslighting survivors: the choice to misconstrue stances SPECIFICALLY against rape, incest and pedophilia ie weaponized sex that does harm and CREATES SURVIVORS....as being anti-sex and a moral crusade against sex in fandom spaces because wont someone think of the children.

I mean, yeah, sue me, I think of the children and everyone the fuck else when I say I find the popular message of “I actually think the choice to twist sex into a weapon not to harm but VIOLATE the vulnerable is something that can be so exciting, so sexy” to be quite distressing to be around 24/7. And I don’t think its an obsession with purity that makes me think survivors shouldn’t have to be around that constantly in fandom spaces and with their every objection to it, even just “yikes this makes it super uncomfortable to be here” recast as a lack of sophistication, or the infantilizing belief that we’re simply too damaged by it to view sex as healthily and ‘fully’ as others do.

I mean I tend to think that’s the lowest fucking bar setting possible for basic human decency, but hey, guess that’s just me.

And I know, I know, you’re all not condoning rape with these fics, you can write something or even enjoy it without condoning it....

except.....

Weird thing is, if you ARE so confident that you’re not in any way condoning or validating the mindset of a rapist when writing and celebrating sexual fic in which the rapist’s mindset is upheld and agreed with as something sexy.....

Again....why the incessant need to reframe the situation as being about ‘pro-sex vs anti-sex’ instead of just people being like ‘again, its the specific choice to specifically use sex as an act of violation specifically that we think is bad, actually.’

Just curious.

Like.....I have expressed this a thousand times, and continue to do so: I have no problem with sex. 

Any sexual scene whatsoever, as long as you take out the specific context of one person making the choice to weaponize sex to violate another’s consent or to violate someone incapable of consenting without a form of coercion or from an at all comparable positioning within a power dynamic.....like, guess what? You just wrote sex between two consenting adults engaged in sex they made the choice to have with each other! Congrats! Go you! So exciting! 

Similarly, any scenes about rape, incest or pedophilia NOT made with the intent to uphold the aggressor’s choices as valid or to titillate readers with that choice being what’s viewed as sexually exciting.....I mean, I might find the hows of the scene unnecessarily graphic or exploitative, I might question whether the scene and the motivations for writing it might be shallow and not awesome, but I’m not objecting to that kind of content specifically, just critical of specific executions of it.

It is literally ONLY when RAPE is upheld as sexy, NOT when either sex OR rape is simply PRESENT, that I take issue. This is extremely basic math. This is a very simple fucking take. There should be NO way to misunderstand what I’m saying here. Because as we all know:

RAPE. IS. NOT. SEX.

So the repeated and consistent reframing of every objection people make to rape in fics written with the express intent of sexual gratification for the writer and/or readers....as objecting to sex, period?

You are LYING.

This is a blatant bait and switch, taking something that is perfectly understandable and valid and reasonable to hold as a stance, ESPECIALLY for survivors who have been victimized by rape.....

And misrepresenting it as an extreme position with no basis in any rationale whatsoever, and that threatens the free expression of exploring the human condition through fiction, with frequent callbacks to times when people have made similar crusades against sex with specific aims of cracking down on the sexual identities or explorations of women, LGBTQ+ individuals, people of color, etc....

EXCEPT OH WAIT. ITS NOT ACTUALLY SIMILAR AT ALL, CUZ REMEMBER THE PART WHERE ITS A BALD-FACED LIE AND ITS NOT ACTUALLY AN ANTI-SEX STANCE TO SAY HEY ACTUALLY MAYBE RAPE IS NOT SEXY?

And maybe, I’m just saying, but maaaaaaaaaaaybe if you can’t take the stance you do or write and read the fics you do without LYING to yourselves and others that any objections to it or criticisms of what fundamental messages it is upholding as sexy and thrilling, is like, a puritanical stance against sex in general, rather than the specific message of a violator’s view of sex as a weapon being valid and relatable.....

Maybe THAT’S the actual problem there, not the actual criticisms people raise.

But seriously, knock it the fuck off with the fandom purity posts, because it is a slap in the face to every single survivor who is damn well certain that their objections to this content spring from objecting to the RAPE in it being framed as hot and sexy, the specific choice to only USE sex as an instrument of violation, not that sex exists in it at all.

Rape is not sex. I know I’M perfectly fucking clear on that front, so when I also know that every single criticism I’ve made about this specific type of fic content has been a criticism and condemnation of views about RAPE and not sex, and everybody who responds or refers back to stuff I or like-minded people say treats it as criticisms and condemnations of SEX and not rape?

Someone’s fucking lying here, and I know its not me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #281

“is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? ‘cuz everyone i know, they’ve got a demon inside.”

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a celebrity? No, just a video game character and an animated movie girl when I had black hair. What color is the pillowcase(s) on your bed? Brown. Do you have a favorite day of the week? Tuesday because it’s reset day in WoW and as a mount farmer, that means I get to try my raids for the week again to continue to be denied. :’) Have you ever been in an art show? An art show, I don’t think so. I’ve had two or three things in an art museum, though. Would you consider yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered? I’m pretty split down the middle, I’d say. I’ve seen far more emotional pain than I think most young adults have, but at the same time, I’ve very under-exposed to adult experiences. How high is your pain tolerance? It depends on the type of pain. I can particularly say I do NOT handle stomach pains well, though. Have you ever played the game Halo? Nah, those weren’t my type. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie? Only songs sung together for plays in elementary school. Never solo. Do you like your nose? … Sure? Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I don’t care. Would you ever like to be a stunt person? I’m fucking dumb, I read this and thought “you mean little people?” until I read the last person’s answer lmaooo. Anyway, no. I’m not ballsy enough for that shit. Are you a pyromaniac? I find fire pretty, but it still can scare me if I’m too close to it. Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? 110%, it’s literally what I’m doing now lmao. Can any of your friends sing very well? SARA. Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? No, no, no, no. I really don’t support pageants of any type I can think of, beauty in particular. What a way to scream “HEY THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, again, especially in beauty pageants. That fucks people up. What a way to start things like self-loathing, eating disorders, body dysphoria, etc. Do you have piano fingers? Mom has always told me that, “like Grammy.” Have you ever slept on a beach? YIKES, no. I ain’t fuckin’ with the tides going in and out or just a massive wave. I’d also feel WAY too vulnerable. Would you like to be taller? I’m cool with my current height. Are you a fan of piercings on the opposite sex? I just like piercings in general. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No, besides play getting too rough. Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? It’s easy to do that lol. The Notebook in particular will 100% make me tear up. What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? He’s an incredibly talented actor that I find very attractive, but I don’t know him as a person. Can you speak in different accents? Just British and southern. Who was the last person you mocked/mimicked? My nephew, playfully of course. If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? THE ABSOLUTE WORST. What size shirt do you normally wear? Ugggghhh generally 2XL, I think. It can be one size smaller or one size larger depending on the shirt. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a song? Just poems. Do you believe there is life on other planets? It’s possible, but I don’t particularly lean a certain way, I think. The universe is just… infinite, you know? But also the circumstances that life rose within Earth were so remarkably perfect to support it that I don’t entirely know if it’s been duplicated elsewhere. When was the last time you fell? Around two weeks ago? I have extremely low blood pressure naturally but also amplified by medications’ side effects, and I got out of bed too fast when I woke up. Hurt my knees pretty bad and barely missed my head hitting the couch. Do you have any sort of debt? I do NOT want to think about this. Is there a specific time period that interests you? The era of dinosaurs of course, as well as the Renaissance, just to name a couple. Do any of your friends own an expensive car? *shrugs* Have you ever been on a train? No. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Are you, or anyone you know, an atheist? I know plenty. Have you ever sent a celebrity fan mail? No. Have you ever been in a musical? No. Is there a friend's family that makes you feel like you're family too? Yeah, Sara’s. Even though I’ve only been with them not that long of a time, they’re wonderful and made me feel so welcome. Do you ever have a fear of getting close to new people? Boy, do I!!!!! It’s funny though, because at the same time, I want to be close with people; I want to rush to the point I have a close friend. It’s weird. What is the worst things about work? N/A And the best? N/A Do you like to sleep in? Not really, honestly. I feel groggy and lazier than I naturally am lmao. Do you like to be an early bird? Well I’m in my best mood in the morning, but I don’t like waking up early. However, I’ve been planning a morning routine to adopt once we move that involves waking up at like 7 or so, so we’ll see how much I enjoy mornings then. But oh boy do I have a habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, so… What is something you notice you just don't watch? History stuff and usually action. Last thing that bothered you even if just a little bit? Something Miss Tobey said to me a few days ago. Last thing that seemed a blessing from above? I don’t believe in supernatural “blessings,” but I’ll bite. The thing that made me happiest recently was uhhhh… I actually don’t know. Nothing that REALLY felt “blessing-ish.” Do you usually drink diet or regular soda? Regular; I can’t do diet. It tends to taste horrible but more importantly the artificial sweetener gives me a wicked headache. Are you on a diet? Not a diet, no. I’m more so just trying to make it a habit to simply eat better and not snack. Someone you highly respect who is not in your family? Sara’s dad. Did you say 'goodnight' to anyone last night? I don’t think I did. Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? People tend to point out it’s really nice. Have you looked at anyone's Facebook profile lately? Whose? Nah. Did you have a cake for your last birthday? What kind? Yeah, red velvet. Can you recall the first horror film you ever watched? How old were you? I actually don’t think I can. Maybe Paranormal Activity? Or The Blair Witch Project? When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? Sara’s bday gift I think. The last book that you checked out from the library? I haven’t done that in years. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman got neutered, and the only time I took Venus to the vet was when I first got her and she refused food for almost a year. Changed the tactic of warming the mouse up and she was more than happy to snag it. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at the pet store? The reptiles, because they’re closest and also my favorite section. Last medication or item that you picked out from the drugstore? Nicole picked up a bunch of my prescriptions that needed refilling. Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go to the grocery store? I don’t do the shopping here, so it’s not my choice. How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I have no clue. Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Being suicidal and then a suicide attempt. Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of a police car? No to the first, but yes to the second because that’s just how you’re transported from the ER to the psych hospital here. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Thank God no. When did you graduate high school? 2014. How much gas can fit in your gas tank? N/A Does your vehicle break down a lot? N/A What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a sit-down restaurant? I want to say at LEAST 45 minutes once. Can’t remember why it was so busy, though. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had cavities and braces, but thank Christ no root canals, and I’ve never had to have a tooth pulled by the dentist, either. Which art forms do you appreciate the most? Man, you can’t ask this to someone who enjoys art so deeply. Like I really don’t know what I enjoy *most*. Music can give me chills, poetry can be so rich and, well, poetic, and traditional artwork strikes awe and makes you wonder how they do it. I just adore art. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? To start, I have very mixed feelings about zoos, but I guess I am *mostly* in favor of humane, adequately providing captivity to a certain degree as this allows for conservation of especially endangered species, and zoos also make it easier to study and understand the silent voices of those we share the earth with. As well, they offer a safe environment to expose the fearful to all sorts of animals, and I feel it is very, very important for humans as the alpha species to care for and understand (as best our language barriers allow) our wonderful neighbors. That being said, I definitely believe that a lot of zoos under-provide for their animals, and this is horribly heartbreaking so that I absolutely disagree with their “right” to own and display animals, but for this specific question, I am going to use my state’s zoo as the standard here. Ashboro, imo is pretty damn great and generous to their animals (you should see the miles of land the elephants, bison, antelope, and rhinos have!), but the exhibit that comes to mind first when mentioning animals I’d like to set free iiiis… you know, I don’t know. I was going to say the polar bears since it can get STUPID hot here in the summer and their abode doesn’t have a great amount of ice that survives the sun, but at the same time I’d be very wary about returning a polar bear home for… obvious reasons. I say “I don’t know” because I’m not gonna pretend to know what ample space is for so many different kinds of animals. Damn, now I really wanna go there. Wow this was a long answer to a p simple question lmao. Favorite kind of fish? I don’t have a distinctly “favorite” fish, really. I don’t know enough of ‘em, but I can say I really like clownfish and angelfish. What kinds of museum artifacts fascinate you? Whew, as someone who took Art History just last year in school, ancient art pieces of all sorts! It is so, so fascinating, watching the evolution of art and to see how the urge to just create extends so, so far back into history. Have you ever gone to court before? For a disability case, yes. Also to convince a judge that I didn’t need to stay in a mental hospital for I think the original plan was around six months. What is the last song that you danced to? Ha ha I watching Hotel Transylvania with my niece and nephew and did the macarena with ‘em. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Margaritas or sangrias. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No. Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Historically, pick people up. Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Dance competitions. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Cone or dish? Any sprinkles? My favorite Basic Bitch flavor is vanilla, just with chocolate syrup. Cone or dish just depends on what I’m feelin’, really. I hate sprinkles on anything; the texture throws me off. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What do you eat most frequently? Uggghhhh some form of bread, probably. Are you a fan of video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to be. What's your favorite color combination? Idk really, I like a lot. I will say though that orange and black excites me bc Halloween Vibes. Did you share a locker at school? No. What's one sport you could never play? Wrestling, ew. Have you ever sung karaoke? Oh god no. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? lmao BRO tell me this a joke How old were you when you went on your first date? Idr, sometime in the 7th grade, if group dates in middle school even count? lol Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. If so, who? An ex and probably doctors at some point? Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? Sunday school, really. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? Considering I’ve never left the country, no. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? I only have a laptop. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? No, but I seriously need to memorize my mom’s. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above. Do you know how to use Photoshop? I know how to do a decent number of things, but I’m definitely no expert. Where was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. What's the best place you have ever eaten? Olive Garden is fucking fantastic, fite me about it. Do you own a hair straightener? No, I don’t need one. Are you barefoot right now? I always am at home unless it’s cold enough to need slippers. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nah. Do you need AC right now? No; it’s actually pretty cold inside rn. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? It’s just a derivative of my first name; “Britt.” But I guess that classifies as a nickname. Name something you're proud of. Deciding to actually *try* to move on and making massive progress through it with That Person. Lately I’ve wondered if I truly have, though. My PTSD has been really bad of the late. Does any accent annoy you? I can’t say it “annoys” me, given you can’t really control your accent, but I do find it difficult to understand extremely southern accents, even as a local. Do you take vitamins? This just reminded me I’ve been out of my Vitamin D prescription for a while… oops. I’m supposed to take it for my legs. When was the last time you took aspirin or some other pain reliever? Yesterday, actually. I had a pretty bad headache. When was the last time you deeply regretted something? God, last night, I was remembering and accepting some things. Lemme just say I regret the everloving fuck out of the subject. What is something that you regularly wear that makes you stand out? Besides my lip ring, nothing in particular. Do you prefer small birthday parties or big ones? Small. I just don’t like big gatherings in general. What song are you listening to now? “Creatures X: To The Grave” by Motionless In White. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup w/ Jason. I’ve told the story enough in surveys and I don’t wanna recite it again. Who was your childhood best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends now? On Facebook, anyway, but we don’t talk. If not, why? We just drifted apart. What is one career you don't think you could do no matter how much it paid? Butcher. No fucking way. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Oh yeah; I’m an admin at the Silent Hill wiki and have invested hours upon hours upon hours helping out there for years. I’m also a content moderator at the Team Ico wiki, and I’ve also assisted a lot at the meerkats wiki because it is a fucking grammatical and formatting catastrophe. I think that’s it? Wait no, I did a few fixes on the Dragons of Atlantis wiki when it was still at the Kabam website, too. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? Yeah, a few. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I wouldn’t say I get scared, no. Just more aware and cautious. What’s the worst illness you’ve had? I’ve had a fucking wicked stomach virus before. (TMI alert?) I would not stop puking to the point it was agonizing to the point of tears because my muscles were so exhausted. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, or Reese's Pieces? BITCH can I choose all???? But in almost any chocolate-related case, I will choose a Reese’s product. Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? I don’t plan on getting a face tattoo, or at least a big one. Maybe something small and cute. OH YEAH EW absolutely never getting my sclera tattooed. That looks painful as a motherfucker. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. If your parents could read your thoughts, would you be in trouble? Not usually. Mom might be mad sometimes when I’m angry at her. Have you ever egged somebody's house or car? No, that’s childish as shit. My childhood house was egged once, so it pisses me off especially. Do you like licorice? UGH no, that shit is disgusting. Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? My mom did. Which natural disaster do you find the most terrifying? Tornadoes or earthquakes. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? Alice in Wonderland. If I gave you a Yo-Yo right now, could you do any tricks? Nope.

[dauntless-dragayn]

Life is Strange fanfiction: All Wounds

   HEY ALL, somethin different for today. I will honestly say I don't read tons of fanfic, call me picky or just, see the truth as being i don't have much spare time to read, period so I've never reviewed one.  BUT. I really want to call attention to one this time, and what better way to do that then by helping out the author with a review? I don't think people realize how much criticism is worth to writers, even taking the time to type out something small is great. (quick note: this review contains spoilers for Lis and BtS. spoilers for the fic itself will be left to the end)   All Wounds by @destiny-smasher is a fic taking place in the Life is Strange universe, almost directly after the 'bae' ending. Throughout, it switches between Max and Chloe's PoVs, however Max is still the main protagonist here. But this is no fluffy feel-good fic (though there is some spots of fluff here and there) it's real and it's painful. It deals with the trauma and emotions that have built up in these women over that fateful week, even their teenage years - stuff that doesn't just magically disappear after the climax. That premise hooked me, because the kind of nitty gritty that often gets ignored in the fandom is exactly what tends to interest me. It actually (minor spoiler!) timeskips after a bit to when they're adults, and when things finally start crashing around their heads .. again.   I will say outright, this isn't for the faint of hearted. It's lonnnng, at 3.5 k words, which rivals many novels!! And it deals with PTSD, mental illness, suicidal ideation, and even a certain amount of psychological horror. Themes present in both games definitely come up again. And no, Max and Chloe's relationship isn't without its bumps. Or rather catastrophic crashes. Don't worry, it'll hurt you but patch those wounds up, by the end. see what i did there   Truthfully, I tried to read it in a RIDICULOUSLY short time frame for Reasons™ (unrelating to the piece) but just could not. I would continuously find myself compelled to slow down, sink into each sentence, into Max’s head or Chloe’s frustrations. I was living in their world more than mine for a few days. It was great - a piece of fresh writing hasn’t done that to me in a while.   I highly recommend taking the time to appreciate this story; it’s ups and downs, romance and time fuckery. If you loved Life is Strange (duh) there’s little reason you wouldn’t love this, too.   You can absolutely tell that this is a project woven together of heart and struggle. Art is never easy when you truly care about the outcome and the fact that this took years of the creator's time and attention stuns me. She did all that mind you, for FREE. Not for publishing, not for profit, not for fame. For a fandom she cares about. Serious writing for fandom is tough, because frankly it's not the easiest medium to sell (sell being used nonliterally here of course, and also, this applies outside of fandom too, just especially so in it) I have an INCREDIBLE amount of admiration for creators like her who dive into these characters they love - but did not create! developing them further, taking them in new directions or continuing them on paths they were already set on -  and write novel length stories or comics for absolutely nothing. You have thoroughly earned my respect.   That’s not to say it’s flawless! Nothing ever is, psh. I do have criticisms here and there, but with those I’ll be more specific, which means they’ll be put under the cut. This is mostly for Destiny-Smasher’s sake, since she is in the process of turning the fic into a visual novel! I’ve read the first few chapters of that too, it’s a cool adaption.   So yeah, if ya haven’t read it, please stop here.   (Also before you go, check out her girlfriend’s art, I’m in love with that too!!)

SPOILERS BEYOND

   Some of these tend to be on the side of minor and nitpicky, I feel, but I'll still go into them. Not trying to be annoying !

  Okay so OBVIOUSLY the repetitiveness of certain scenes or conversations was purposeful, and a big part of how you told this story. And that's GREAT I think you used that unusual element well, certainly paying attention to details. There were some times when it felt repetitive in the wrong places though I think, and I guess I mostly mean some conversations. Or sometimes rather than being repetitive they just felt unnecessary as a whole. If I'm remembering correctly sorry its been a little while by now the conversation between Chloe and Steph in the diner before Chloe realizes she can rewind time now felt like that - just unneeded, like if you had cut or shortened it nothing would be lost. I can't think of any more examples right now, but maybe just keep that in mind?   In general there are definitely a few filler scenes but I hesitate to condemn that because like I said, this world really breaths and feels genuine, and I think those are part of why.   The addition of quotes and especially linked songs was an awesome touch I thought, since ya don't normally get auditory nods like that in writing. There were a few times it broke my immersion but for the most part it was a very appealing layer to your storytelling, so I look forward to seeing that carried out with the adaption.   One thing I didn't like much in general were Chloe's pirate dreams in the second half. I understand that there were some important nods and revelations about what was going on in her psyche, not to mention the role of dream weaving being hinted at, but for the most part they just left me pretty confused.   As far as inconsistencies, I know you were worried about that, but I really think you're fine? Like other than the stuff involving Before the Storm and what that revealed/changed (which you can't be blamed for because this story was written over yEARS) there was nothing major that I noticed. And considering the utter insanity of the timelines n shit, I'm seriously in awe you kept it relatively smooth. I have a HUGLY less complicated story in the works (no time travel) and I still managed to fuck up the timeline. Moving on. :')    I’m embarrassingly forgetful, and that’s all my initial notes on the subject had to say, so I may be missing some things? But yeah, I honestly don’t have much in the negative to say.    So let’s talk about THE plot twist. Yes that one. I remember around, chapter 16.4, the idea piecing together in my mind .. the title of the chapter, her behavior, speaking patterns, the fact that yes, this wasn’t a deviation like any of the others, it was in fact the canon divergence of timeline.... hoLY CRAP ITS OTHER MAX SHES REAL AND - yeah I fangirled a bit. (I was freaking so badly about my theory that I was so sure had to be true - and I was right, heh - that I tried to explain it to my dad. Who, FYI, has minimal knowledge on Life is Strange’s plot, and no hope of understanding the convoluted details of the fic thus far. I finally gave up and went back to reading while squealing excitedly over it in my head. And then I shut up because things got dark)   Just, gods, the details! That was the most satisfying fucking feeling, seeing all these seemingly little or random things come to be crucial. Things like Max clinging to her reality with the wedding bands on her finger, or like Other Max’s particular personality, from being aggressive and upfront more than Max has ever been, to her freaking sexual behavior. Her having red streaks in her hair to represent both sides to her, the cover of the fic and the visual novel not being a symbolic picture but an actual look at the End of Time and Other Max!!   Her falling in love with Stella was definitely a curveball I did not expect, and admittedly I was pRETTY weirded out. Cuz like.. she's engaged to Chloe in the other timeline, and obviously I ship them over anyone else.. I'm not complaining! Just, a very fresh take on Stella and their relationship. Speaking of- it did seem a little strange to me that, after the awkward start to their dating and the mention of how it was going right after, that it never came up again. Obviously things got cut short, but, how was it really working? Did Stella turn out to actually be gay? I interpreted that she was doing it out of a sort of obligation and platonic love for Max, and that she was 1000% straight. Maybe you left that open on purpose? It seemed coded that way, though..   All in all I loved what you did with Other Max. She was an edge of a concept in Life is Strange, in that confrontation scene after the nightmare of episode five - which I loved for its implications - and you took that and RAN with it. So I go in thinking "okay. she's a more literal form of this mental battle Max faces, made so much worse by death shes surrounded by after the storm" And for a while that holds up.. Max finds herself moving on, as a teenager, with Chloe's pushing, and things get better for a while. Great!! Woohoo!   Except ..  the past will always find you .. especially when that past is yourself ... and not even time travel can keep it away forever.   That's��the shit you don't see delved into. This power is like, a drug. A limb she's gotten used to and relies on as much as any other. I've never believed she would just, drop it. Does it go away when the storm hits / chloe dies? Maybe, I always thought. But that's so convenient. And without an explanation for why it showed up, we have no basis for why it would go away.   And why not use it, Max convinces herself. ‘I must still have the power for a reason.’ Maybe so, and you've certainly grown, Caulfield, but you are still avoiding consequences. You are still a god amongst mortals, but guess what? That immortal facade can only be contained by a human body for so long. Things start crumbling, and as a reader you see the inevitability of all, feel the hopelessness. She's keeping things from Chloe, BIG fucking things, and I want to reach over and grab her by the shoulder and shake her. "CHLOE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS MINDFUCKED"   I literally couldn't breath for a minute when I realized the implications of the car crash scene, where Max says she's been regularly getting lost in time for months. But, no biggie. Quick weed, call, and you’re right back where you should be. Right? Just wipe the blood off your face, no one will notice.   Damn.   Anyway, enough about that. Remember earlier, when I said 'psychological horror'? Truthfully I don't know if that's the right word for it, or even if its a real thing. But whatever it is, I live for it. People's mind are their own worst enemies, and that bit is ultimately and personally relatable. Max is constantly arguing with herself. But this time, the nightmare - mine, and hers - is creeping into real life. The Other is ripping control from her shaky hands. Its twisting her into someone she never wanted to be - a literal worst version of herself, and, we find out - a real version, just from a different timeline. A broken one. A nonhuman one .. or that's what she says. But as we see this Other raise her voice, and read on in bafflement alongside Max, we get to see that her intentions, aren't necessarily evil. Has she done evil things? Yes. Did Max see her as evil? Yes, and even Chloe did for a while. But the big question I found myself asking, and Chloe eventually challenging is.. is the Other.. still Max? Is the worst reality, the worst view in the mirror, still us? All Wounds says yes. But not to give up hope, far from it - instead that we MUST confront these self made demons, we MUST accept these wounds for them to ever heal.   While spurred by a morality grounding near-death experience, that last fight at the End of Time - while a supernatural slew of symbolism, time travel, and dreamscapes - also sung to me of reality. That's what the best fantastical fiction is.   Amazing.

  To top it all off, the ending chapter was perfect. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a bit. It felt right, and more importantly, real. Not some overdone fictional fanservice crap. But still the happy ending these women MORE than earned.   Through it all, the exploration of characters who didn't probably get what they deserved in LiS (I'm thinking about Victoria, but also Stella and even Joyce..) was really satisfying and ultimately shifted my perception of them.

  Honestly, there are so many quotable moments throughout this thing. (I have a ton of screenshots of some on my phone, actually.) But I'll go with .. "You Power isn't what makes you special, Max. Stop worrying about fixing. Focus on being. Yes, even those parts. That's all in the past. All I care about now is the future. And I want to share that future with you."

-Chloe 

 What you called experimental bullshit, I applaud. So.. Thanks for writing All Wounds.

[anipwrites]

24- 29 :)

24. favorite scene you’ve ever written

I think my favorite scene I’ve written ever is probably either when Nathanael gets reakumatized in A Darkened Soul, when Nathanael is fighting Ladybug and Chat Noir in the same story, or when Le Dessinateur, Reflekta, and Princess Fragrance all fight Ladybug and Chat Noir in The Disposables. Or when Nathanael meets and talks to Master Fu in Ain’t Clowning Around. Or literally whenever a clown appears in Ain’t Clowning Around. Its so hard to choose just one.

(Skips 25 to put it at the end)

26. story you’re most proud of

Honestly? It’s not the most popular one, but I’m really proud of Ain’t Clowning Around. Its nowhere near finished, and I’m hoping to make it a series, but its the first time I’ve ever bent canon this far and I think it’s going pretty well. Alternatively, A Darkened Soul, because it’s the first time I’ve ever finished a fanfic that wasn’t just a one-shot. And Last Christmas, because it was directly based off of my favorite Christmas song in all eternity, and I actually DIDN’T just copy and paste the lyrics into the fic like I do with any other songfic, and it came out really well imo, so.

(Skips 27 because that gets long too)

28. worst review you ever got 

“I'll be honest: I expected this to be a bit more... Serious and mature.” on ff.net, The Disposables, Chapter 2. Like, geez, if you want ‘serious’ and ‘mature’ then write your own. Its going to be fairly serious, but you need a bit of comedy between the serious to relax, right? I think. Unless this guy just loves to orgasm off seriousness in fanfic or something. Like, Chill, my dude.

“Why didn't Nathaniel just draw new clothes? XD” on ff.net, THe Living Nightmare, Chapter 3. I mean, I’m just being salty with this one, but. Wow. Its almost as if he’s not going to do that neXT CHAPTER. HE WAS GONNA UNTIL IVAN’S DAD GAVE HIM PAJAMAS TO WEAR HOLY SHIT DUDE.

“They're being mean to them because they murdered six kids to try and get out and commit more genocide to be free, taking their souls. Oh, and they can shoot energy beams. And fireballs. And summon hordes of flies.It's called "reasonable suspicion" or "reasonable concern". Every single monster can do magical attacks of some kind in the game as we saw. And can claim souls after killing a human. No normal human can do that. Humans have every reason to be A LITTLE AFRAID of these monsters, dude. It's not just a matter of "cuz they're different". I see that over and over again with Undertale works, and every time I have to shake my head. It's just simply a lie to say it's simple racism. This isn't like being afraid of black people or Asians, where the only difference is skin color. No black person can teleport around, or have bones pop up to barrel into you, or shoot magic spears!” SurfaceTale, Chapter 1, Fanfiction.net. Like, okay, this was the VERY first review I got on this story, and it was my first time writing fanfiction in a really long time, and I had written it together with my friend, and I was so excited to finally put it up and then I got THIS in my inbox. Honestly probs one of the reasons I didn’t continue it.

29. favorite story/poem of another author

*sigh* okay lets GO 11 PM CONFIDENCE DON’T FAIL ME NOW

“The Weight of Jade” by @thelastpilot​

“Illusions and Illustrations” by @nobodys-pearls​ (is this the right one omg)

“The Akuma Hunger Games” by @queenkubdel​

Thats about it thats all I can remember off the top of my head I am SORRY but also these stories both inspired me the most to write. Like, Illusions and Illustrations inspired me to write Casual Villainy (which lead to A Darkened Soul) and Ain’t Clowning Around (which lead to about everything else), and Illusions AND Jade both are like *wipes tear* writing GOALS OH MY GOD. Like the Warriors series is what inspired me to write in the first place but these two are what inspired me to write AGAIN OH MY GOD

And Akuma Hunger Games is a good read for a few laughs and its genuinely entertaining and I think about it when I’m sad to cheer me up sometimes.

NOW BACK TO THE ONES I SKIPPED Y’ALL ARE IN FOR A RIDE

asks for fanfic writers

25. favorite line you’ve ever written

Oh my gosh. So hard. I’ll just post a few favorites. Just a warning that some aren’t as eloquent and symbolic as you might be expecting from an author lol.

This is where this starts to get long, so read below. (I can never keep these short dammit)

“The Evillustrator stood before her. But most importantly, her son did. He was hurt, and he needed to be saved from the beast that had taken over him.

The only problem was he clearly didn't want help.”  A Darkened Soul, Chapter 2

“Feline fucker”  ADS, Chapter 2

“The Evillustrator heard her and scoffed. "Do you really think you can stop me with those?! Fat chance, Lady Bitch!"

"Hey! Language!" she huffed, crossing her arms as she looked around for any indication on how to use the round stones in her hand.”  ADS, Chapter 2

““...well, I mean, he didn’t say anything, but he was there, and to be completely honest neither of them had to do that. They could’ve just left me there, and I’m really glad they didn’t. It’s almost like… I dunno how to explain it, but it’s like… I mean, they’re the heroes of Paris. They deal with crazies all the time, they don’t really have to stop and help each and every time. And yet, they do it anyways. They definitely helped Paris that Saturday, but they took a bit of time and helped me too. And I’m grateful.” Nathanael took a breath. “They reminded me that people make mistakes, but in the end, I still have friends to fall back on. Whether it’s Chloe tormenting us, or Ms. Mendeleev talking shit about our grades, or if we just woke up on the wrong side of bed, we have people to support us. And I’m grateful for that; some people don’t have half as much. And I hope that I can find the courage to be a support system for someone else.””  ADS, Chapter 4

“He felt a sharp burning seize his chest and his heart beat fast with adrenaline. He wasn't going to let this happen if he could stop it. Nathanael Kurtzberg was not going to be to blame for some poor old man dying from a construction accident. He was there, he could do something, so he would. Or at least try his best. His grip against his sketchbook shifted into a one-handed gasp as he rushed forwards. He wasn’t aware of the fact that he was shouting for the man to ‘look out’, was barely aware of the fact that he was actually doing this until he grabbed the old man and pushed him aside, away from the path of the falling brick.” Ain’t Clowning Around, Chapter 2

“all he saw was his reflection in the mug, and he didn't much like what he saw. A too-short, too-scared boy with no one who cared for him, not even his own parents. How pathetic. He only felt more pathetic when he looked up and saw the sympathetic look in the old man’s eyes.” ACA, Chapter 2

“‘You wanted to drown Marinette and Chat Noir!’

Monster.

‘You wanted to torture me!’

Monster.

‘You wanted to work for Hawkmoth!’

Monster!

That’s all he was, all he was ever going to be, a monster! Why was he cursed like this, why did he remember so much, why! Had he really wanted it? Had he really wanted all of that?! If given the chance again, would he accept Hawkmoth’s deal with open arms?! Was he just a tool?! Would he say no, was it possible to say no?!” ACA, Chapter 2

“A sudden flash of color caught his eye just enough for him to turn his head slightly, and he felt his heart skip a beat at what he saw. It was the clown. It lifted a finger and beckoned for him to come closer, to cross the street and hear whatever he had to say. Every instinct told him to run, his brain was screaming for him to fight or fly, he felt his muscles tense for a sudden outburst of energy. And yet, something was telling him to come closer. This clown clearly wanted something, maybe he had dropped an ID or something and he was trying to give it back? Curiosity began to overtake the panic in his brain, and he almost crossed the street.” ACA, Chapter 3

“Nathanael Kurtzberg was not having this voodoo crap.” ACA, Chapter 3

“For maybe the second or third time that day, adrenaline tore its way through his veins and he punched the clown in the face, right in the nose, and felt a satisfying crack.” ACA, Chapter 3 (This line and the other one are one after the other but they’re favs for two different reasons so)

“He wouldn’t have to deal with Chloe and creepy clowns if he was dead.” ACA, Chapter 4. Me too, Nathanael, me too.

“What the hell was in that tea that old man gave him earlier?!” ACA, Chapter 4. Pfffft bahahahaha

“Soon he barely even felt her there, barely even felt the pencil in his hand or the desk under him. He just felt his eyelids getting heavy, and his body felt weightless. His pencil was moving in his hand, but it felt distant, unattached. The lamplight dimmed as the word vanished behind his eyelids.” ACA, Chapter 4. First time I’ve ever really written someone slowly falling asleep while doing something, and after getting some help on it, I really like how it turned out.

““Holy fuck, I’m late!” Nathanael exclaimed, jumping to his feet as he scrambled to get his things together. His alarm had been ringing for twenty minutes already, school was going to start in thirty, and it took fifteen to get over there! How had he missed the alarm?!A quick glance at his phone revealed that the ringer had been switched off.

Nathanael hated his phone.” ACA, Chapter 5. Me too, Nathanael.

“Nathanael swallowed. He wasn’t going to let them get to him this time. Biting remarks tended to cause things to take bad turns when it came to Chloe. He’d have to find another way to defuse the--

“Well, at least he has a mom!” Everyone’s jaw dropped to the floor at Lila’s comment. then Chloe’s eyes narrowed viciously.

Goddammit, Lila.” ACA, Chapter 5. Me too, just--Goddammit, Lila.

““Well, fuck!!” he jumped up and grabbed his bookbag and his hat again.“Nathanael!”“Sorry, I meant frick!”” ACA, Chapter 6.

“Did she understand how much she'd taken from him? Everyone had heard of her little speech about how her locker was her 'private garden' and how those who entered without permission 'broke her soul and stole her privacy.' If some dumb locker was a private garden, his sketchbook had been Eden. And Chloe had just broken in with a steamroller and turned paradise into a wasteland.” The Living Nightmare, Chapter 1

“Why was Chloe Bourgeois allowed to stomp around like some kind of tyrant and crush everyone's emotions underfoot with no consequence? It wasn't fair, it just wasn't, he--

The room took a hazy purple glow as a dark voice dripped like sweet poison into his ears.” TLN (I just love writing people getting akumatized or re-akumatized but this is one of my favorites for just how SUDDEN it is)

“"I… I said no." he felt so much power in that word. Last year, he'd been faced in this situation and had said yes. This simple, two-letter word had so much strength now. He'd fallen before, he'd let him control him before. But not today.” TLN, Chapter 1

“His answer came to him in the form of a sharp pain in his chest. He let out a strangled scream as the pain branched out from his chest and into every fiber of his being. It felt like he was being torn in half, limb by limb, atom by atom, molecule by molecule. As the world went black around him, he thought he heard Hawkmoth's evil laughter. He thought he heard Chloe's mocking cackle.

He thought he saw his fingertips turning purple.” TLN, Chapter 1. Like, Jesus Christ, for how much I hate feeling pain I damn sure love putting my favs through it am good at writing it.

“Wow. Hawkmoth was a dick.” TLN, Chapter 1. ME TOO NATHAN.

“Nathanael hadn’t dared let himself leave the alley. It was still the middle of the afternoon; going out in broad daylight would only bring about more screams and accusations. He didn’t want to face them. He wasn’t ready to.” TLN, Chapter 2

““Uh-oh. Emotions in Paris are never a good idea.” Ivan joked.” TLN, Chapter 2

““Well, I was in my room all emotional and stuff and all of a sudden Hawkmoth’s like ‘lol I am Hawkmoth you’ve failed me once but I’m giving you another opportunity to snatch some jewelry for me.’ ” He grinned when Ivan started laughing at his Hawkmoth imitation.” TLN, Chapter 2. I just imagine Nathanael trying to make his voice go as deep and Batman-y as possible and coughing sometime after that. Little laugh break in a serious story.

“Ladybug continued on about how she should’ve been more careful, more considerate, but to be honest Nathanael had stopped listening. They were standing under a street light, the harsh yellow glow glinting off of her earrings. He could see the vibrant, almost glowing red of them, five black spots crossing the smooth surface in an ‘x’. And Chat Noir’s ring… the glowing green pawpads across the smooth black surface…

He didn’t just want them. He needed them. As everything went dark and he heard a voice telling him to ‘Get the Miraculouses,’ he followed orders.” TLN, Chapter 2. If this line had its desired effect, at least one person reading this story immediately thought, or called out, ‘HOLY SHIT’ when they read this set of lines.

“All he had to do was formulate a good lie to tell this kid, maybe he’d come from a costume party or--

“I’m a costume party.”

The fuck???” TLN, Chapter 3. You know how when you’re trying to decide whether you’re gonna say one of two variations of something and you accidentally end up just mashing the two together somehow?? Or does that only happen to me.

““So how exactly did all of this happen?” ‘Pops’ suddenly asked. “Y’know, the…” he gestured at the entirety of Nathanael’s existence.” TLN, Chapter 3. Me too, Pops, me too.

“He found little bruises and scrapes on his arms and legs when he took off his suit, but he was also pleased to discover that yes, there was underwear under this thing. It just wasn’t his boxer-briefs. They were briefs, if even that, more like a speedo.

He hated speedos with a passion.” TLN, Chapter 3. Because A) I bet at least one person was expecting me to not give him underwear and launch into a detailed discussion of his penis or something and HAH SUCKERS and B) Seeing as the only male underwear I’ve ever handled was my Dad’s, I don’t actually know what teen guys wear, so I had to google ‘what kind of underwear do teenage boys prefer’ AND look at pictures to decide not only what would he have preferred but also what he ended up with instead. I did RESEARCH  for these four lines.

““Je suis le Pire Noël!”

Oh my god. Did this akuma just dab? Four times?!” Shut Up!. Me tOO NATHAN.

“It was the only time they kissed. Because then May happened. And that May may just have been the worst month of his life so far.” Last Christmas.

“Even then, he couldn’t find it in him to blame her. He couldn’t find it in him to hate her. He’d given her flowers, he’d painted a huge portrait of her, he’d given her his love and his time and his devotion and all of the passion he could muster in him and anyone else would see it as a waste, right, but he just couldn’t. Surely, she’d just been excited and hadn’t been expecting things to move so fast. Maybe he’d driven her off somehow? She was far more outgoing than he was, maybe his quiet nature was too restricting for her. But, whenever he looked at Marinette, it wasn’t hate or resent that he felt. Rather, something lost, something he’d been able to taste for a short moment before having it ripped away from him.” Last Christmas

“Is this what heartbreak felt like?” Hell if I know mate Last Christmas

“Ivan was bored out of his goddamn mind.

Fuck Ladybug. Fuck Chat Noir. Fuck da police. Fuck everybody.” The Disposables, Chapter 1. ME TOO IVAN

““I’m sorry, you need me to what?! ” Kingston Damocles’ jaw hung in shock at the preposterous request he had just been given.” The Disposables, Chapter 2. I’m sorry, this line isn’t even all that great, but whenever I think about how I named Mr. Damocles ‘Kingston’ first thing that comes to my mind is *voice in the distance* Sean Kingston. *heavy bass kicks in, shaking the room* Y’ALL WAY TOO BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL GIIIIIIIIIRL

“Finally, Max. Max was a genius. He was a living encyclopedia, a walking college math textbook, and a computer whiz. He could hack almost anything within minutes… when he felt like it.” TD, Chapter 2. ME TOO MAX.

““That’s like saying the manager of some bakery is fit to rule all of France! Which, by the way, they aren’t! And someone who already has experience should be leading a major operation, and someone who doesn’t should be, like, an intern or something! And, no, Chloe doesn’t count, she’s only been Bourgeois’ intern for two months and has done nothing but sit on her ass and sip on triple-macchiato lattes!” Max said.” The Disposables, Chapter 2. SLAY, MAX.

““You need to be debriefed, you don’t even know what we’re doing or what we know!”” TD, Chapter 2. GET HER, MAX.

27. best review you ever got

Gosh there’s several, hang on. Because I just LOVE getting reviews like they all make me so happy I like to just go back and read them over when I’m feeling down and need inspiration.

“This is seriously incredible like oh my gosh?!?! It's hard to find good Nathaniel centred story's such as this one!! Thank you so much for writing this and ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Can't wait till the next update!!!!” Pandamonkey12 on AO3, Ain’t Clowning Around Chapter 2

“This is cool i hope a story like this becomes cannon” Saurka on AO3, Last Christmas

“Yes!!! I seriously love this story thank you so much for updating! You are incredible and I can't wait to see what will happen next! Seriously a great chapter!!!!!” Pandamonkey12 on AO3, Ain’t Clowning Around Chapter 4

“This is seriously incredible!! Like ahhhhhhhh!!!!! It's such a cool idea and I can't wait to see what happens next!!!!!!” Pandamonkey12 (Basically Panda Monkey is a great person) on AO3, The Living Nightmare Chapter 1

“https://deusbex.tumblr.com/post/156549006721/the-disposables Keep up the great work! I made you a cover!” DeusBex on AO3, The Disposables Chapter 1 (because HOLY SHIT THEY DREW ME A COVER?!?!?!)

“Ani, you amazing human, this is amazing and it's so well written that it leaves me craving more. I didn't know it would be this good when you brought it up in chat. Just beautiful.” @some-italian​ on AO3, The Disposables Chapter 1

“AAAHHHH! OMG this is so good! Seriously, keep up the amazing work!” VisualSnow on AO3, The Disposables Chapter 1

“IF YOU DO NOT CONTINUE THIS, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU. Also, Lol I am Hawkmoth is FREAKING adorable.” SHIPPERHELL on AO3, The Living Nightmare Chapter 3

“I was pleasantly surprised by Ivan having two fathers, which was a pretty good choice. Now Nath just needs to hunt Hawky down and punch him right in the jaw, right hook.” @some-italian​ on AO3, The Living Nightmare Chapter 3

“Wow, at a loss for words, I'm already hooked, so much emotion and sympathy towards him. Great work and have an awesome New Year!” SaturnNights on FF.net, The Living Nightmare Chapter 1

“Tryst me, I'm so far on the edge of my seat I'm nearly falling off! Can't wait to see how it all plays out!” MagicQuill42 on FF.net, The Disposables Chapter 2

Okay so there’s this one fanfiction user called Yellow14, and he comments on every chapter and at the end he always says ‘Keep Writing’ and that just encourages me so much so I started doing it too.

“Woah. I have to say I was not expecting this. It was so... Amazing! From my experience, it seems like you got the villain's personality right, and people actually trying to take selfies with him is pretty funny. Keep it up!” GravityFallsIsAmazing on FF.net, Casual Villainy, Chapter 1. because mischaracterization is the one thing I ALWAYS worry about no matter what, asides from story quality.

“this is totally wonderful and awesome, i couldnt help but smile reading your will definitely be a favourite of mine and others.” Chocolate-cream-pie on FF.net, A Darkened Soul, Chapter 4

Brokenwings35 commented on every single chapter of A Darkened Soul with “I loved the chapter” “Great chapter” and “Awesome chapter” and then on the last chapter said “This story is perfect” and thanks so much omg.

“I absolutely loved this story!” ishipit-myotp on FF.net, A Darkened Soul, Chapter 1. It’s simple, but it was the day after my birthday and I was feeling kind of down because i had the NHS induction ceremony that day. Which you think would be a good thing, except SO many people forgot it was my birthday because they were all focused on my grades and stuff. Including family members. Then we went to J. Alexanders to celebrate my induction/birthday, but I wasn’t particularly close to anyone there and everyone was like ‘happy birthday and congratulations on your accomplishments and your wonderful grades’ and it just kinda felt like nobody there cared about what I liked about me that was ME. It’s kinda stupid, but. Hey.

“Yay Nathaniel! Yay Adrienette! Yay EVERYBODY! This was such an amazing story! I'm glad you wrote it and put it on this site so we could all read it. We really need more authors like you.” GravityFallsIsAmazing on FF.net, A Darkened Soul, Chapter 4. The ‘we really need more authors like you’ part is what gets me because omg that makes me feel like I’m actually good like omg I only ever see those kinds of reviews on like Pilot’s stuff or like super popular fics so to get it on one of mine, let alone one I wrote in the middle of the night sustained by cold medicine?! Oh my god.

“"The world may never know." That moment when a fanfic author starts quoting the Tootsie Pop commercial” Shadow of the Elements on FF.net, Ain’t Clowning Around, Chapter 2. Because OMG SOMEONE CAUGHT ONE OF MY REFERENCES.

And at that note it’s now 12:46 and I have church in the morning I should have been asleep like 3 hours ago but whatevs. Goodnight